#romance problems

[flaggermuser]

Gale.

Fucking Gale.

Fucking fuck Gale.

You have no idea how DIFFICULT it has been for me not to romance this man.

He absolutely adores me. The approval meter is maxed out.

Almost every time I add him to my party, he says "Magical" in the CUTEST FUCKING WAY!

He has a cat.

He's just generally charming and good.

Meanwhile my chosen one, Astarion, tolerates me at best.

But if I want to romance Halsin, the big hot druid man, it is the path I must walk. And last night I found out he likes honey.

ALSO! I made Kar'niss walk into the dark and I felt bad.

Yes he's part spider but he's cute.

[llaies]

Something new I've started to feel sad about as an aromantic is how my bestie—who recently came out to me as bi and I'm the only person he's told—needs my help and empathy as the only other queer person he talks to about his deep crush on another guy, but I can't give it to him the way I could if I were allo. He has woes and I can't relate or understand how he could possibly be feeling. It's very hard for me to bear because I've always been considered a very accomodating, empathetic and feel-y person. It appears all that talent flew out the window when I accepted the truth of my identity.

I guess I'll hope to learn to compare his problems to my past friendships.

Sigh.

[rs-hawk]

Working on my novel and couldn’t figure out why it felt so empty. I didn’t have any filler. It was all 100% plot. The characters only interacted when necessary. I didn’t prattle on about the scenery or how the birds sounded. I had all my fuller stuff that I loved saved in another file because I “didn’t need it”.

Y’all, I knew this existed in TV shows but it didn’t hit me until this that everything is being whittled down. We are so starving for filler that we snap up anything. I unload all mine on Tumblr or keep it in a massive Google Docs. It SUCKS.

Honestly? Death to plot necessity. Revive filler. Revive unnecessary interactions. Revive just vibing with characters sometimes. I don’t want to just consume the plot and I don’t want to just create the plot either.

[selenekallanwriter]

Person: What's your book about?

Writers:

I'm both somehow 🙃

[hopelesssmile]

Diary Entry 12.0

Gosh. I'm not well. Ahaha. I can't deny it anymore.

I have not had an interaction with a guy in so long that I overthink everything with this guy. Let's call him B2.

Things I know about B2:

baker

30 y.o.

half Filipino, half ???

has brown hair

tall

wears glasses - nearsighted??

gamer

very thoughtful (yikes)

had a falling out with his parents, but lives with them again

used to work for a different bakery

mom is an ICU nurse at HSC

dog's name is Crosby

I'm a sucker for a nice guy. Anyways, let's start with the first meeting.

Meeting #1:

S and I had a little get-together making crepes using my whole wheat pancake mix. Then her boyfriend B1 picked her up. I wanted to give her the cardboard box so she can take it with her to pack her things (since her boyfriend was going to move in with her). I tried to drop off the cardboard box at the trunk of B1's car, but it was full. So I asked S to open the passenger seat at the back of the car instead.

I was spooked because I didn't realize someone had been sitting in the back of the car. He stared at me and so did I. I didn't stare too long and I didn't say anything as it was cold and I had no jacket and just wanted to drop off the box in the seat.

In the brief moment I glanced at him in the dark, I thought he was cute. I was in my pajamas with a red bandana though lol. I remember thinking maybe I should ask S who that was, but didn't want to bring it up.

Meeting #2:

After a few failed attempts to have S and B1 and a friend come over to my house to play games (I didn't clean the house and there was a potential snowstorm lol), I agreed to a last minute meeting with S to get bubble tea (even though technically my fatty liver does not let me have bb tea). It was Mar 17th, 2024 and the volunteer place had us set up a St. Patrick's Day party so I wore green to avoid getting pinched.

I thought it would just be the 3 of us (S, B1 and I), but when I came into the car, there was another passenger and Stinky (S & B1's cat). I was a little pre-occupied with Stinky because she cuddled right up to my lap. Such a cutie pie. This was my first time meeting her and she's adorable. I don't even recall introducing my self to my seatmate, B2.

I spent the time patting Stinky and my jacket sleeves were covered in cat fur lol. I recall B2 stating that he guesses Stinky won't stay with him this Wednesday because I joked with S that I'm taking Stinky home with me. B2 was distraught.

I mentioned that I'm surprised Stinky approached me because I have a dog. B2 brought up he also has a dog and I inquired which kind. His parents had a boxer called Cosby (like Bill Cosby). He showed me a photo of his dog. S joined the conversation and mentioned that Cosby must be older than Phoebe (my dog). I corrected her and stated that Phoebe was 13 and Cosby was 11. Then, proceeded to show Phoebe with a cone on at the vet. I explained the red bump and cryo-sessions. He inquired if the bump was on the butt, but I said it wasn't. I inquired if the bump was the same color as his skin and he said Cosby isn't bothered by it. I suggested he leave it alone, because Phoebe's bump was red and had blood pooling.

S brought up the stray cat situation in my backyard. I explained to B2 that Thursday, I woke up to 2 stray cats in my yard. I came back on Friday and they became 3 cats. B1 interjected that they'll come back if I feed them. I replied that I didn't feed them, but if I did, I would feed them outside of the house lol.

Youtube ads on the music we played remind B1 of the conversation he had with S. B1 explained he would subscribe to YT Premium then cancel. I related and explained that I had to cancel all of my subscriptions because I was thinking of going back to school. B2 asked which program and I said programming at Red River College.

I forgot how the conversation reached this point, but B2 was under the impression I was a nurse when I said I worked at 3 hospitals. His mom is an ICU nurse at HSC. I explained that I worked as a clinical research assistant with chronic kidney disease patients and only visit the renal clinics so I don't go to the ICU.

Somehow he brought up that he's the grandson of Marcel's Bakery and if I needed any bread, it was on him. I said I'd ask for a discount lol.

Maybe it got too quiet afterwards so B2 asked me "H, other than taking in stray cats, what are your hobbies?" I answered "reading webtoons and watching anime". He asked what I watch and i had pulled out my phone to see the anime that A had suggested I watch - Momochi. He said he might have seen it in passing but did not watch it. No shock there.

B2 said "If you're into blood and gore, I recommend you watch Chainsaw Man."

H: I'm not into it because my ex used to watch it.

B2: Never mind. Pretend I didn't say anything.

Inwardly I lol in my head, but later, I thought maybe I was too harsh?

Trying to save the conversation, I tell him that I grew up to Dragon Ball Z, Naruto and Bleach. His fave anime is One Piece. I tell him I watched the live action, but not the anime cuz it's too long. I told him that my fave anime is Gintama and I was more into happy-go-lucky anime like Spy x Family.

B1 tried to be a wingman (?) and suggest I watch Boku no Hero Academia. (I was like guys I'm lazy lol. Give me a 5 min anime to watch please.)

We soon turned to the bb tea place. S was kind enough to pay for me. I chose a peach tea with no sugar. But I could clearly taste the sugar. S had to order bb tea for the whole family and struggled to order the toppings and sugar content for each drink.

B1 and B2 had already finished ordering and were waiting on the side. I waited with S. S moved. I followed her to the seats and we all moved to the seats.

We shortly got our drinks, but I was the only one who did not open mine. I said I was worried I'd repeat the incident with G in B1's car. I had to ask S to open the drink for me.

We gathered around the couch to play on the Switch. I lost badly with 0 stars. Everyone kept swapping with me when I was about to get the star. The one time I was going to get a star, S swapped with me lol. B2 was the ultimate winner. B1 was a sore loser about it.

The group ordered pizza, but I said I couldn't have any because of my fatty liver. So I couldn't have processed sugars and fried food, etc.

B1 drove us home at around 9 pm. S brought up that B2 was supposed to drive. But B1 was salty and said since B2 won the game, he wasn't allowed to do anything lol.

I practically zoned out and fell asleep on the way home so I didn't converse with B2. I could see B1 looking in the rear view mirror from time to time.

In the back of my mind, I was wondering if I got set up lol.

A few days after, I visited S because she's been feeling gloomy and I hadn't seen her in awhile. I came on Friday for a walk with her and B1 said they should've played Switch lol.

One more thing: I found out B1's boss is my neighbor lol.

Meeting #3: March 24, 2024 (Sunday)

After volunteering, S wanted to meet up to walk at Amber Trails. I was happy to come, but I wasn't dressed for the walk. The wind was bloody cold that day. S and I walked for 30 min but we didn't have much to say because we had met earlier in the week. I did learn more about B2 from S. S said B2 was more sassy than shy when they were together at yesterday's party.

Then, why does he act so different when he's around me? Lol.

After the walk, we had a bit of dinner and I wanted to nap on S's bed. S and I were watching random YT vids when the Lcky Bxchez wanted to do a call. I agreed since it would be short. C and I caught up with life. When R joined the call, she unfortunately was shirtless under a blanket so I felt it was best that I hide in the closet since I could hear B1 and B2's voice.

I recall hearing B2's voice distinctly suspecting B1, "You said H would be here." I answered "I'm here" from the closet lol. Everyone was looking for me but I told them I was in the closet. I had to explain to R and B the situation and that I would explain to B1, B2 and S later when I came out of the closet (literally and not figuratively). This was legit the funniest part of the day.

When I came out of the closet, I was flushed and tired. B2 insisted I have a samosa, but I really can't have fried foods so I asked if I could have it later.

B2 passed me the iced tea drink which I knew I shouldn't drink cuz of the 26 grams of sugar, but fck it, I was hungry. The group dealt with the pokemon game login, but S never got the password. I logged into Love and DeepSpace to get my activity in. Then, we played the Mario Switch board game.

S, H, B1 and B2 went to the couch. B1 pointed out that it was cool that S and I had black hair. I said I was confused, was it supposed to be another color?

B2 brought up that his hair is brown because he's half. I don't recall what I did after, but I kept wondering half what lol.

I took a corner of the couch with S next to me then B1 and B2. I said I was cold so S got me a onesy. Love S. The game started, but B1's controller was out of battery, so he asked me to switch spots with him--which meant I was now next to B2. I kept my distance lol. Surprisingly I was doing quite good in the game and B2 was not so good. There were even times when I stole the star from B2 and I apologized.

I patted his shoulder apologetically. Sorry B2, those stars are mine.

Also, B1 learned the hard way to not give us a handicap/2 stars lol. S won the game and I came in 2nd. The only other moment to note was that mid-game I got hungry so I left to eat the samosas (so spicy) and use the washroom. So I had to leave the onesy behind. Since I was warm from the samosas and my turn was next, I didn't want to put the onesy back on and joined the couch as I was --in my pink turtleneck sweater and black jeans. Idk if I looked too provocatively, crouching into the couch like that lol.

We all had short convos before leaving. S and B2 easily bonded. B1 was like I'm tired lol. I said I was leaving and B2 took that as I was leaving him behind lol. I said he's gonna walk home. I told him that he could move the grocery bags to the back before sitting. He directed me where to go. I was super sleepy by this point. We talked about the weather--what else could we talk about. Then he asked how my career switch was going and I said I almost lost my job last week lol. Convos were stopped midway due to directions, but he said he enjoyed riding with me. I said I did too. I forgot what else he said cuz I'm sleepy. I hope I told him goodnight.

I hate it whenever I start have delulu feels for a guy thinking he likes me but I have to appear as stoic as possible. I really need to be more approachable man. I also suspect that he played nice at the Mario game because I was next to him. I was grateful he stole a star from B1 rather than me. B1 on the other hand has the gall to steal a star from me. Lol.

Now this leads us back to present day. I woke up at 5 am today with severe heart palpitations. I struggled to sleep again. I didn't do any work. Did my chores. I had to run on the treadmill for 30 min to get rid of those damn disgusting feels. Ugh. Damn me. Damn my hopeless romantic heart. Dammit.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

not "i ship these characters" or "i want them to bond platonically" but a secret 3rd thing (I want them to be forced to interact by the Narrative bc they would HATE that)

[just-my-life365]

Painting romantic scenes in an attempt to get over my fear of intimacy ✌️

[opossums-in-a-trenchcoat]

I can’t stand forced romance in media. You’re telling me this man and woman who’ve barely spoken to each other, have not flirted at all and have barely been together for three scenes are in love??? Like am I just too aroace to see it?? I always feel so surprised

[redysetdare]

All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.

[trans-cuchulainn]

i don't have the words to articulate it at this moment but there's something about the way that people have specific expectations for "authenticity" and will dismiss anything that falls outside them as a mangled, anglicised version of the thing when actually that is the older and more traditional form of something, it just doesn't match their expectations. obviously in my personal experiences i'm mostly talking about medieval literature here especially medieval irish literature

sometimes this is as simple as spelling – i've had people argue that the name "finn" is anglicised and it should always be "fionn" to be Really Irish, but "finn" is an older spelling, glide vowels are later, if you wanna go real far back it'll be "find" (nd in place of nn is an older spelling pattern). or they'll hear someone say "ogam" and assume they're mispronouncing "ogham" due to lack of knowledge of irish and not consider the fact that medievalists tend to use the older form of the word. or they'll Well Actually you about "correct" terminology which wasn't standardised (and/or invented) until the 20th century

a lot of this is defensive and the result of seeing a lot of people ACTUALLY get this stuff wrong and have no respect for the language. in that regard i understand it, although it becomes very tedious after a while, particularly when people sanctimoniously declare something "inauthentic", "fake", or "anglicised" without doing enough research to realise it's not trying to be modern irish and is in fact correct for older forms of the language

more often however this search for the projected "authenticity" is ideological and has much larger flaws and more problematic implications. "this can't be the real story because it's christian" well... that's the oldest version of the story that exists and it postdates christianity in ireland by about nine hundred years, so... maybe question why you're assuming the only "real" version of irish stories can't be a christian one? this is especially true when it comes to fíanaigecht material tbh, but in general there seems to a widespread misapprehension about ireland's historical relationship with christianity (i have seen people arguing that christianity in ireland is the result of english colonialism which took their "true" faith from them... bro. they were christian before the "english" existed. half the conversion efforts went the other way. please read some early medieval history thank you)

however i also saw someone saying this about arthurian literature lately which REALLY baffled me. "we'll never have the Real arthurian stories only the christianised versions" and it was in the context of chivalric romance. buddy you are mourning something that does not exist. this "authentic" story you're looking for isn't there. that twelfth century story you're dismissing as a christian bastardisation is as "real" a part of this tradition as you're going to get

[wordstome]

COD Men as Dream Daddy DILFs

Call of Duty single dads x gn!single parent reader

⤐Characters: 141 + König + Horangi + Keegan

⤐Premise: You just moved into a neighborhood with a high population of retired military personnel.

*glances at my 3-4 wips* let's talk about some dilfs, shall we? ...Don't look at me. I had a vision. (No relation to the actual characters from Dream Daddy, just a similar premise) Also a disclaimer: I'm writing these dads mostly in their late 30s to 40s, but don't think about their ages and the ages of their kids too much. This is all vibes. And sorry ahead of time if I gave one of the kids the same name as you 💀 Feel free to imagine the kid has a different name because the names really don't matter

p.s. I wanted to write more characters but I had to reel myself in. I could be persuaded to write a part 2 with Vaqueros, Nikolai, Valeria, Nikto, and other Ghosts tbh

Warning: this shit is LENGTHY. Strap yourself in.

Price: A post about DILFs and you expect me not to start with Captain John Price? Price is the lynchpin of this cul de sac. He's the one inviting everyone over to the barbecue, tries to get the dads to get along, and gives everyone advice. He has the quintessential dad energy. He 100% slaps his knees and says "well!" when he gets up. Price also has major girl dad energy. He's got three adorable little ladies, aged 3 (Clara), 9 (Brianna), and 11 (Alice). Yes, he did name his daughters in ABC order, I can see him doing that. Oh, he dotes on his girls, and they love their dad endlessly. He's the model father: recitals, sports, parent teacher conferences, you name it, he's there.

That's how the two of you meet: he comes up to you at one of the aforementioned events and gives you a firm handshake and apologizes profusely for not coming around to introduce himself earlier. It's not like him not to at least swing by, and he hopes you can forgive him the discourtesy. He hands you his number and says anything you need, just give him a call, or maybe swing by for a beer sometime. He gives you a wink that makes your knees weak, a wink that says he definitely noticed you checking out his muscled arms and broad shoulders. Maybe you will swing by for that beer sometime—and maybe get a little more than just a drink.

Ghost: I could see Simon having a one night stand kid. He certainly never saw himself starting a family after he lost his last one, but he was stressed and probably piss drunk as well. Years and years later, he's back from deployment and finds a social worker with a boy on his doorstep, and the rest is history. I love the idea of Simon with a moody 16 year old, but I actually see Simon and his son having the same dynamic as Mike and Abby Schmidt from the FNAF movie. Since Simon wasn't around for Caden's early childhood, they have a relationship that's undeniably father and son, but leaning towards casual and sibling-like. Simon's figuring his shit out, dealing with his PTSD and the various lasting health issues his time in special forces has left him with, and Caden's a quiet, sensitive 10 year old boy who thinks the world of his dad.

You meet Simon at the local bar. His Ghost days are long behind him, but the balaclava's a hard habit to kick. Besides, he doesn't need people staring at his scars. He's usually there with the 141, but today he's alone, and looks like he could use some company. You sit up at the bar close to him and order a drink, but you don't disturb him, and he visibly relaxes when he realizes you're not going to try to make small talk. It becomes a routine, the two of you: always sharing a quiet drink together at the bar, and then both of you wordlessly go home to your kids. You have a sort of silent conversation every time: Good to see you again. Yeah, you too. Neither of you actually speak a word to the other until Price introduces you to him at a gathering, and you finally hear his voice. "We've met before," he says, with a glint in his eye that suggests perhaps he'd like to be more than just a silent drinking buddy. That's fine with you: you're dying to see what's under the mask and dark hoodie.

Soap: JOCK ALERT. Johnny's basically Craig from Dream Daddy: total dreamboat who goes on runs around the neighborhood and gets all the appreciative looks from the local moms. He thrives on the attention in a way that definitely makes the 141 roll their eyes. He's got an older little girl named Elodie, and a lil baby boy Thomas that he takes everywhere with him. Obviously he's just being a responsible parent taking care of an infant, but secretly, Thomas is a great conversation starter with aforementioned local moms.

Conversely however, it's Johnny who makes the move on you first. Maybe in the grocery store, maybe at one of Price's get-togethers. Sidles up to you and introduces himself with a look in his eye that means trouble. Only the good kind of trouble, of course. If you reciprocate and he finds out you're single, you're not getting rid of him. But why would you want to, anyway? He's endlessly charming, attentive, and good with his hands. When he's fixing a leaky tap for you, of course—what did you think I meant?

Gaz: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick is a fucking heartthrob. I'm saying it right here, right now. He's a walks in with flowers, makes you dinner kind of partner. Also househusband vibes, because, surprise: Kyle is still married. This isn't a Joseph (Dream Daddy) situation, though: he and his wife, Emily, have known each other for a long time, a very high school sweethearts situation. Over the years, though, they drifted apart with Kyle in the military, and Emily eventually realized she's not actually into men. They're still married for coparenting purposes: they've got an older teenage girl named Violet, and a younger boy named Elliott. (Yes, I'm naming him after Elliot Knight, sue me.)

Honestly, I think it would be HILARIOUS if you met Kyle on a dating app and realized he's your next-door neighbor. But however you guys meet, Kyle is an old-school courter kind of guy. He is taking you on dinner dates, listening to you rant about your day, and is on your doorstep in a heartbeat when you call him in a panic because your kid's running a 105 fever (41 in Celsius) and you need a ride to the emergency room. (Not that the other dads wouldn't do the same, but I'm trying to convey "most reliable man in the world" vibes here.)

König: Y'all...you don't know how much fucken time I've spent thinking about this man as a dad. He's in the same boat as Ghost where he never saw himself living long enough to start a family, but here he is with the most precious little girl you've ever laid eyes on. Ava's got her father's curly hair and big green eyes, and she has her dad wrapped around her pinky finger. For König, Ava is living proof that he's capable of being more than just a tool for violence.

You meet König through Ava, of course. Your kids are the closest of friends, and the two of them are constantly going over to each other's houses. You're obviously delighted that your kid is making new friends and fitting in so well, but you'd be lying if your heart didn't skip a beat whenever you open your door to see Ava's six foot ten dad standing there with soft eyes and a sheepish smile. I have to stop here, because I've already written an extra paragraph for this man that I've cut out and pasted for safekeeping in my notes app, and if encouraged I will write more. (Please encourage me.)

Horangi: I know we already had a sort of Robert (Dream Daddy) figure with Ghost, but I think Horangi is a dad whose kid is an adult, much like Robert and Val. I also think that out of all the dads, Horangi is likely the one who's still doing some level of military work. Either that, or he has a very demanding job that takes up a lot of his time. He's ashamed of the way he let his gambling affect his family in the past, and is making up for it by being responsible and keeping his finances in order.

You don't meet him until you've lived in the neighborhood for quite a while, but he pops up at a gathering, talking quietly with König in a corner. You'd thought you had met every neighbor in the cul de sac, so you're intrigued by the newcomer. Someone, probably Price, tells you what Hong-jin's deal is, and ever since that you just can't keep your eyes off of him. You can't quite work up the nerve to talk to him, so you occupy yourself talking with the other parents. Some time later, you're at the food table grazing on the snacks when you look up and make eye contact with him. There's something intense in his gaze that makes you freeze, like a deer in headlights. He's definitely checking you out, you think. Your chest erupts into nervous butterflies when he starts walking towards you.

Keegan: Keegan is an adoptive father! I love his dynamic with the Walker boys, so I can see him being the kind of guy who adopts an older teenager so they have a home and a family instead of aging out of the system. Jason and Cecelia are high school age siblings who would have been separated otherwise, and consider Keegan their dad in every way that's important.

I think you and Keegan are definitely rivals in some way. Maybe it's a PTO thing, maybe he gets a little too boisterous at your kids' sports game. Whatever it is, you can't stand the man, but your annoyance whenever he's around only seems to amuse him. You have no problem saying to his face exactly what you think about him, but unfortunately, Keegan can see right through you. And hey, Cecelia could use some experience as a babysitter, so you won't have to worry about spending the night over at his place, will you?

As always, I wanna hear peoples' thoughts and feedback! If you want to hear more about these dads, drop me an ask <3

[future-crab]

It's been said before, it will be said again, but it's still worth saying: the fact that art centering on straight romance is allowed to just be bad, but art with queer romance in it always has to be indicative of A Serious Problem With the Way We Tell Queer Stories makes being a queer person making queer art deeply stressful

[selenekallanwriter]

Me, reviewing the half-assed outline I wrote a while ago for my next WIP:

[hamoodmood]

[egophiliac]

at this point I'm not going to finish this, but I need everyone to know that I don't CARE that it was Kamejim, this scene has been replaying itself in my brain for the past week --

[sneakingpasta]

Divorced birds just wants to be alone with his romance novels