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hopelesssmile · 6 months

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Diary Entry 12.0

Gosh. I'm not well. Ahaha. I can't deny it anymore.

I have not had an interaction with a guy in so long that I overthink everything with this guy. Let's call him B2.

Things I know about B2:

baker

30 y.o.

half Filipino, half ???

has brown hair

tall

wears glasses - nearsighted??

gamer

very thoughtful (yikes)

had a falling out with his parents, but lives with them again

used to work for a different bakery

mom is an ICU nurse at HSC

dog's name is Crosby

I'm a sucker for a nice guy. Anyways, let's start with the first meeting.

Meeting #1:

S and I had a little get-together making crepes using my whole wheat pancake mix. Then her boyfriend B1 picked her up. I wanted to give her the cardboard box so she can take it with her to pack her things (since her boyfriend was going to move in with her). I tried to drop off the cardboard box at the trunk of B1's car, but it was full. So I asked S to open the passenger seat at the back of the car instead.

I was spooked because I didn't realize someone had been sitting in the back of the car. He stared at me and so did I. I didn't stare too long and I didn't say anything as it was cold and I had no jacket and just wanted to drop off the box in the seat.

In the brief moment I glanced at him in the dark, I thought he was cute. I was in my pajamas with a red bandana though lol. I remember thinking maybe I should ask S who that was, but didn't want to bring it up.

Meeting #2:

After a few failed attempts to have S and B1 and a friend come over to my house to play games (I didn't clean the house and there was a potential snowstorm lol), I agreed to a last minute meeting with S to get bubble tea (even though technically my fatty liver does not let me have bb tea). It was Mar 17th, 2024 and the volunteer place had us set up a St. Patrick's Day party so I wore green to avoid getting pinched.

I thought it would just be the 3 of us (S, B1 and I), but when I came into the car, there was another passenger and Stinky (S & B1's cat). I was a little pre-occupied with Stinky because she cuddled right up to my lap. Such a cutie pie. This was my first time meeting her and she's adorable. I don't even recall introducing my self to my seatmate, B2.

I spent the time patting Stinky and my jacket sleeves were covered in cat fur lol. I recall B2 stating that he guesses Stinky won't stay with him this Wednesday because I joked with S that I'm taking Stinky home with me. B2 was distraught.

I mentioned that I'm surprised Stinky approached me because I have a dog. B2 brought up he also has a dog and I inquired which kind. His parents had a boxer called Cosby (like Bill Cosby). He showed me a photo of his dog. S joined the conversation and mentioned that Cosby must be older than Phoebe (my dog). I corrected her and stated that Phoebe was 13 and Cosby was 11. Then, proceeded to show Phoebe with a cone on at the vet. I explained the red bump and cryo-sessions. He inquired if the bump was on the butt, but I said it wasn't. I inquired if the bump was the same color as his skin and he said Cosby isn't bothered by it. I suggested he leave it alone, because Phoebe's bump was red and had blood pooling.

S brought up the stray cat situation in my backyard. I explained to B2 that Thursday, I woke up to 2 stray cats in my yard. I came back on Friday and they became 3 cats. B1 interjected that they'll come back if I feed them. I replied that I didn't feed them, but if I did, I would feed them outside of the house lol.

Youtube ads on the music we played remind B1 of the conversation he had with S. B1 explained he would subscribe to YT Premium then cancel. I related and explained that I had to cancel all of my subscriptions because I was thinking of going back to school. B2 asked which program and I said programming at Red River College.

I forgot how the conversation reached this point, but B2 was under the impression I was a nurse when I said I worked at 3 hospitals. His mom is an ICU nurse at HSC. I explained that I worked as a clinical research assistant with chronic kidney disease patients and only visit the renal clinics so I don't go to the ICU.

Somehow he brought up that he's the grandson of Marcel's Bakery and if I needed any bread, it was on him. I said I'd ask for a discount lol.

Maybe it got too quiet afterwards so B2 asked me "H, other than taking in stray cats, what are your hobbies?" I answered "reading webtoons and watching anime". He asked what I watch and i had pulled out my phone to see the anime that A had suggested I watch - Momochi. He said he might have seen it in passing but did not watch it. No shock there.

B2 said "If you're into blood and gore, I recommend you watch Chainsaw Man."

H: I'm not into it because my ex used to watch it.

B2: Never mind. Pretend I didn't say anything.

Inwardly I lol in my head, but later, I thought maybe I was too harsh?

Trying to save the conversation, I tell him that I grew up to Dragon Ball Z, Naruto and Bleach. His fave anime is One Piece. I tell him I watched the live action, but not the anime cuz it's too long. I told him that my fave anime is Gintama and I was more into happy-go-lucky anime like Spy x Family.

B1 tried to be a wingman (?) and suggest I watch Boku no Hero Academia. (I was like guys I'm lazy lol. Give me a 5 min anime to watch please.)

We soon turned to the bb tea place. S was kind enough to pay for me. I chose a peach tea with no sugar. But I could clearly taste the sugar. S had to order bb tea for the whole family and struggled to order the toppings and sugar content for each drink.

B1 and B2 had already finished ordering and were waiting on the side. I waited with S. S moved. I followed her to the seats and we all moved to the seats.

We shortly got our drinks, but I was the only one who did not open mine. I said I was worried I'd repeat the incident with G in B1's car. I had to ask S to open the drink for me.

We gathered around the couch to play on the Switch. I lost badly with 0 stars. Everyone kept swapping with me when I was about to get the star. The one time I was going to get a star, S swapped with me lol. B2 was the ultimate winner. B1 was a sore loser about it.

The group ordered pizza, but I said I couldn't have any because of my fatty liver. So I couldn't have processed sugars and fried food, etc.

B1 drove us home at around 9 pm. S brought up that B2 was supposed to drive. But B1 was salty and said since B2 won the game, he wasn't allowed to do anything lol.

I practically zoned out and fell asleep on the way home so I didn't converse with B2. I could see B1 looking in the rear view mirror from time to time.

In the back of my mind, I was wondering if I got set up lol.

A few days after, I visited S because she's been feeling gloomy and I hadn't seen her in awhile. I came on Friday for a walk with her and B1 said they should've played Switch lol.

One more thing: I found out B1's boss is my neighbor lol.

Meeting #3: March 24, 2024 (Sunday)

After volunteering, S wanted to meet up to walk at Amber Trails. I was happy to come, but I wasn't dressed for the walk. The wind was bloody cold that day. S and I walked for 30 min but we didn't have much to say because we had met earlier in the week. I did learn more about B2 from S. S said B2 was more sassy than shy when they were together at yesterday's party.

Then, why does he act so different when he's around me? Lol.

After the walk, we had a bit of dinner and I wanted to nap on S's bed. S and I were watching random YT vids when the Lcky Bxchez wanted to do a call. I agreed since it would be short. C and I caught up with life. When R joined the call, she unfortunately was shirtless under a blanket so I felt it was best that I hide in the closet since I could hear B1 and B2's voice.

I recall hearing B2's voice distinctly suspecting B1, "You said H would be here." I answered "I'm here" from the closet lol. Everyone was looking for me but I told them I was in the closet. I had to explain to R and B the situation and that I would explain to B1, B2 and S later when I came out of the closet (literally and not figuratively). This was legit the funniest part of the day.

When I came out of the closet, I was flushed and tired. B2 insisted I have a samosa, but I really can't have fried foods so I asked if I could have it later.

B2 passed me the iced tea drink which I knew I shouldn't drink cuz of the 26 grams of sugar, but fck it, I was hungry. The group dealt with the pokemon game login, but S never got the password. I logged into Love and DeepSpace to get my activity in. Then, we played the Mario Switch board game.

S, H, B1 and B2 went to the couch. B1 pointed out that it was cool that S and I had black hair. I said I was confused, was it supposed to be another color?

B2 brought up that his hair is brown because he's half. I don't recall what I did after, but I kept wondering half what lol.

I took a corner of the couch with S next to me then B1 and B2. I said I was cold so S got me a onesy. Love S. The game started, but B1's controller was out of battery, so he asked me to switch spots with him--which meant I was now next to B2. I kept my distance lol. Surprisingly I was doing quite good in the game and B2 was not so good. There were even times when I stole the star from B2 and I apologized.

I patted his shoulder apologetically. Sorry B2, those stars are mine.

Also, B1 learned the hard way to not give us a handicap/2 stars lol. S won the game and I came in 2nd. The only other moment to note was that mid-game I got hungry so I left to eat the samosas (so spicy) and use the washroom. So I had to leave the onesy behind. Since I was warm from the samosas and my turn was next, I didn't want to put the onesy back on and joined the couch as I was --in my pink turtleneck sweater and black jeans. Idk if I looked too provocatively, crouching into the couch like that lol.

We all had short convos before leaving. S and B2 easily bonded. B1 was like I'm tired lol. I said I was leaving and B2 took that as I was leaving him behind lol. I said he's gonna walk home. I told him that he could move the grocery bags to the back before sitting. He directed me where to go. I was super sleepy by this point. We talked about the weather--what else could we talk about. Then he asked how my career switch was going and I said I almost lost my job last week lol. Convos were stopped midway due to directions, but he said he enjoyed riding with me. I said I did too. I forgot what else he said cuz I'm sleepy. I hope I told him goodnight.

I hate it whenever I start have delulu feels for a guy thinking he likes me but I have to appear as stoic as possible. I really need to be more approachable man. I also suspect that he played nice at the Mario game because I was next to him. I was grateful he stole a star from B1 rather than me. B1 on the other hand has the gall to steal a star from me. Lol.

Now this leads us back to present day. I woke up at 5 am today with severe heart palpitations. I struggled to sleep again. I didn't do any work. Did my chores. I had to run on the treadmill for 30 min to get rid of those damn disgusting feels. Ugh. Damn me. Damn my hopeless romantic heart. Dammit.

#diary entry #romance problems

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