#i just feel disappointed in myself but also mistakes happen
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adore-gregor ¡ 1 year ago
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So
#i have so many things going on in life right now#but i feel like i'm not doing good enough#uni stuff is starting to pile up once again#which was to be expected honestly 😅#and i am very well aware that exams or presentations are not that important or grades...#there are more important things to life obviously and it's not really worth it loosing your head over#yet i kind of am#one problem is i knew but i didn't start to prepare earlier which lead to much stress and i had like barely any time last weekend#why is that? i kind of never learn from my mistakes i guess 🤦‍♀️ but also my mistakes never really hurt me#actually i have very decent grade quite a good average and a rather high number of credits already#i never once failed any course at uni despite my last minute studying often even with good grades#guess i have a talent for that but it doesn't make my life easier also#but i also try very hard despite when i realize that there's a chance i could fail i use every minute i have left#it's also not that i never prepare on time sometimes i do asignments very early or did so for a few exams#it's just that i know i can get away with it unfortunately#well today i had a presentation which i couldn't prepare as well for because i started too late#it didn't go too well i couldn't wing it as good as i hoped for#it was kind of embarassing but people will forget about it anyway so i'm not too worried#and it wasn't a total disaster at least i don't hope so if i failed the class the professor surely would have told me#i just feel disappointed in myself but also mistakes happen#and it's not just that...
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dewgongs ¡ 3 months ago
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del
#somethign i keep thinking abut thats really simple but impacted me quitea bit is when sable said like...#keeping constant tabs on people who wantnothing to do with you and seem to be fine moving on without you is destroying you#i think that is definitely also a part of what was almost a shell shock of clarity for me?#and the whole like. pretty much get out of my life thing the whole moving on thing#i think its because like. i considered them my whole life. so to realize + even be told that like. idk. its done its over pretty much#without even really a second thought#when all ive been having is second thoughts up until that point. i was willing to go through hell for what id done. for forgiveness#and then having that stomped on. my hurt and my pain that no one had to read. calling me disturbed. vomiting at my thoughts#in my weakest moments. where i was belly up. it changed my view entirely. that i am not even worth a second thought to these people#my mourning. my own disgust in myself and my own actions. not enough. still even in my own space am i revolting to them#i dont wanna say i felt like i was shown true colors but i do kinda feel like i was shown true colors#it would not be the first time with this group where i was shown such an ugly uncharitable mean spirited and devoid of faith in me reaction#to a mistake i havemade. i cannot even remotely imagine the people im with now responding to *anything* like that#even if i had done something reprehensible. there would at least be some sense of “i care about you so much” in any response theyd give me#even if disappointed. even if revolted by me. there is no such thing with the rest of these people ive known. not even slightly#the want and need to mend something important to you. to fight for it. was just not there in regards to me. they only care about themselves#and what happens to them#cus qhen i tell you i was sitting feeling absolutely awful over the things i was reading that they were going thru.#just to turn around and be strangled and beat for my own reactions to the situation... like. night and day by a certain point. night and day
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pucksandpower ¡ 1 year ago
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Breaking Point
Charles Leclerc x Ferrari!Reader
Summary: Charles Leclerc finally reaches his breaking point after the disaster that was the United States Grand Prix. Something needs to change … and that’s where you come in
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“Again, again!” Charles’ voice rings out, echoing through the debrief room, “How can we mess this up? I was on pole!”
Fred Vasseur looks down, sighing, but trying to maintain composure. “Charles, it was a miscalculation—”
“A miscalculation?” Charles retorts, eyes blazing, “This has been a trend all season, Fred. It’s not a one-time mistake. It’s systemic.”
Carlos, looking uncomfortable, tries to chime in, “It wasn’t just about strategy, you know the car—”
“Oh, I know the car,” Charles snaps, “And it was built against my driving preference. But it’s not just that. It’s everything. The poor race strategy, the unnecessary swap, and now being disqualified as if my day has not been bad enough!”
Enrico Cardile, the team’s technical director, steps forward, “Disqualification was not anticipated. We followed the regulations to the best—”
“Enough with the excuses!” Charles’ voice cracks with emotion. The weight of the season, the betrayal he feels, finally makes him see red. “Every time there’s an excuse. We’re a team and yet somehow it feels like I’m constantly battling not just our opponents but Ferrari as well.”
A deep silence settles.
The head strategist, Ravin Jain, finally speaks up hesitantly, “We thought the one-stop made sense. The data suggested—”
“Data,” Charles interrupts bitterly, “The same data that led to a decision that every other team on the grid laughed at! Did the data also suggest swapping me with Carlos? Or was I being punished for being able to manage my tires?”
Carlos, despite himself, looks hurt. “I didn’t ask for the swap,” he mutters.
Charles takes a breath, looking at his teammate, “I know. It’s not your fault, hermano. But I need to trust the team’s decisions. And right now, I don’t.”
Sporting Director Diego Ioverno tries to mediate, “It’s been a tough season, Charles. Everyone is understandably stressed. Let’s sit down, review everything together, and find a way forward.”
Charles shakes his head, “That’s what we said last time. And the time before that. And the twenty times before that! Empty promises, meetings, discussions, and then what? Nothing gets done and there is another disaster waiting to happen.”
Fred tries one more time, “We’re as frustrated as you are. We’re a family. We’ll figure this out.”
Charles scoffs, “I can’t keep being let down and used. Not like this.”
The room falls silent once more, a heavy cloud of disappointment and tension hanging in the air.
Carlos reaches out, placing a hand on Charles’ shoulder, “Things will get better.”
Charles meets Carlos’ gaze, nodding slightly. But the fire in his eyes has not dimmed, “I need to believe in this team again. But right now ...” He pauses, “I have a call to make.”
He turns, leaving the room filled with introspective silence. The team is left behind, grappling with their own emotions, knowing that actions will always speak louder than words.
***
Charles steps out into the warm evening air, taking a moment to compose himself before dialing a number he knows by heart but hasn’t touched in months.
“Hey,” Charles’ voice is a low rasp, every ounce of weariness evident.
Then a pause, as he listens to the voice on the other end.
“Yeah, it’s me ... look, I know what I said earlier this season. About handling it myself.” He takes a deep breath, letting the weight of it all settle.
A longer pause, broken by Charles’ intermittent nods and “Uh-huhs.”
“Every race feels like it’s been one disaster after another. And it’s not just the car, it’s everything. I can’t ... I can’t keep doing this to myself.”
He listens closely.
“I told them today, laid it all out. But it’s like talking to a brick wall. They listen, they nod, and then? The same mistakes. Over and over.”
He shifts his weight, the sound of his shoes scraping on the gravel echoing softly.
“I know, I know I told you not to get involved ... but maybe ... maybe that was a mistake.” He sounds defeated, a man at the end of his rope. “I need help. Real help. Maybe it’s time you step in.”
Charles is silent, absorbing whatever the person on the other end is saying.
“No, it’s not about leaving the team,” Charles’ voice is earnest, desperate even. “It’s about respect. Trust. It’s about feeling like I’m not constantly fighting against the tide, not just against other teams but within my own garage.”
A long pause.
“What I mean is, maybe some changes within the team would be good. Fresh perspectives. New faces, perhaps. Somewhere I can trust the decisions, the strategy ...”
He sighs.
“I just want to race, you know? Without all this drama. Without constantly wondering if I’m being set up to fail no matter what I do.”
Another pause as he listens, nodding, lost in the gravity of the decision he’s about to make.
“Thank you. Really. Let’s talk tomorrow? Lay out all our options?”
There’s a moment of quiet, only the sound of his breathing, the distant hum of the circuit, the world slowly dimming around him.
“Thanks. Goodnight, Y/N.”
***
“Emilia,” you call out, and before a moment passes, your ever-efficient personal assistant is by your side.
“Yes, Y/N?” Emilia asks, perfectly poised.
“I need the jet prepared. We’re heading to Mexico City,” you say, voice steady and determined though inside, the turmoil from the phone call with Charles still lingers.
Emilia raises an eyebrow slightly, a silent question in her eyes. “Any particular reason?”
You sigh, looking away for a moment, reflecting on the weight of the legacy you carry. “Scuderia Ferrari needs my direct attention. I trusted them to handle things, but ... it’s clear that has not been happening.”
Her eyes flash with understanding. “Of course. I’ll have the jet ready. When do you wish to depart?”
“Tomorrow morning, early.”
She’s already typing into her tablet. “I’ll book you the Presidential Suite at the Four Seasons. Will you be needing a meeting space there?”
“Absolutely,” you nod. “On Wednesday, before the Grand Prix. Organize for all team personnel to meet in the hotel conference room. And Emilia ... they are not to know the reason for the meeting or that I’m the one calling it.”
Her eyes gleam with a hint of mischief, “Mystery and surprise. I love it. Consider it done.”
A small, wry smile tugs at your lips. “Thank you. And can you make sure Charles knows about my arrival? But ask him to keep it quiet.”
“Of course. Anything else?”
You pause, taking a moment to consider. “Just one more thing. Make sure we have everything we need to review the team’s decisions and strategies for this season. Every little detail.”
Emilia nods. “Absolutely. Everything will be arranged as per your instructions.”
You take a deep breath, “Thanks, Emilia. This … it’s about preserving a legacy, and right now, that legacy is on shaky ground.”
She places a reassuring hand on your shoulder, “If anyone can steer this ship right, it’s you.”
***
The door to the conference room opens with a low creak, and the room immediately falls silent. Everyone turns to see you entering, your presence commanding every ounce of attention.
“Good afternoon,” you begin with ice-cold authority. “Thank you all for meeting on such short notice.”
There are murmurs of acknowledgment but no one dares speak up.
“I’ve reviewed our performance this season,” you continue, pacing the length of the conference room, letting each word sink in. “And to say I’m disappointed would be an understatement.”
Fred shifts uncomfortably in his seat, eyes darting around the room. You lock eyes with him, “Fred, you promised change. But the only change I’ve seen is our team’s steep decline.”
“I understand your frustration,” Fred stammers, “We’ve faced challenges—”
You cut him off sharply, “Challenges? Every team faces challenges. What matters is how you overcome them.”
Several team members look down, uncomfortably shuffling papers and avoiding eye contact.
You turn to the strategists, “Your decisions have cost us dearly, time and time again. Your inability to read a race situation, to adapt, to strategize effectively ... it’s quite frankly appalling.”
One of the strategists, a middle-aged man named Roberto, speaks up defensively, “We did our best with the information we had.”
Your eyes narrow, “Your best? Tell that to Charles, who has been left out in the cold race after race.”
Moving on, you address the engineers and designers, “Our car has issues that should have been rectified at the beginning of the season. Yet here we are, still struggling.”
An aerodynamicist named Lucia, clearly agitated, stands up. “We’ve been working tirelessly, trying to find solutions.”
You level her with a gaze, “Then maybe it’s time we look for people who can find those solutions more efficiently.”
Lucia’s face reddens, “You can’t just—”
“Actually I can,” you interrupt, “And I will.”
Your attention turns to Xavi, Charles’ race engineer, who has been noticeably silent. “Xavi, your dynamic with Charles has not been the slightest bit helpful. His feedback, his needs ... they’ve fallen on deaf ears.”
Xavi, trying to defend himself, says, “It’s a two-way street. Charles can be difficult.”
You shake your head, “Charles is a world-class driver. It’s your job to bridge any gaps, not widen them. I checked and it turns out that constantly repeating we are checking like a broken record is not beneficial for race performance!”
Taking a deep breath, you make your announcement, “Effective immediately, Roberto, Lucia, and several other strategists, engineers, and aerodynamicists that a personal audit revealed as detrimental to team performance relieved of their duties. Xavi, you too are let go.”
There are gasps around the room, the weight of your words sinking in. Roberto stands, fuming in anger, “You can’t just dismantle this team!”
You lock eyes with him, “I’m not dismantling. I’m rebuilding. And if that means letting go of every one of you who can’t uphold the standards of Scuderia Ferrari then so be it.”
Fred finally speaks up, “And what about me?”
You lean in, “Consider your position on very thin ice. I expect results. And fast.”
You straighten up, the room thick with tension, “Scuderia Ferrari is not just a team, it’s a legacy. My great-grandfather would be rolling in his grave to see what has been done to his beloved team. I will not stand by and watch it crumble.”
With a final, piercing gaze around the room, you pivot on your heel and exit with a flick of your hair.
***
You lean against the cool wall, taking a moment to gather yourself after the emotional intensity of the meeting. The hallway is quiet save for the distant hum of voices but soon familiar footsteps make their way around the corner.
“Charles,” you call out softly as spot the driver.
His green eyes, clouded with a mix of emotions, meet yours. “Y/N.”
“Are you okay?”
He hesitates, “I wasn’t expecting all of that.”
You nod, “It was long overdue. I should have intervened much sooner.”
Charles runs a hand through his hair, clearly trying to process everything. “It’s ... a lot. I didn’t think you would actually step in like this.”
You sigh, “I hoped I wouldn’t have to. But my bisnonno once said that aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines, and right now, it sure seems like Ferrari can’t do either.”
Charles chuckles dryly, “You have a point. It’s been ... frustrating.”
You gently touch his arm, trying to reassure him, “Enzo also believed that dreams become bigger, much bigger, to build a car that doesn’t slow in the curves, that flies without leaving the ground. I want that dream for you. For us.”
He looks at you, “It’s all I’ve ever wanted. A car that allows me to race to my full potential.”
You nod, thinking of the iconic red car and its tremendous legacy, “I know. And we’ll get there. Remember, racing cars are neither beautiful nor ugly. They become beautiful when they win.”
A smile tugs at Charles’ lips, “I haven’t won in too long. I almost forget what it feels like.”
You step closer, “That is going to change. I’m here for the long haul. To rebuild, restructure, and reclaim the Ferrari legacy. Glory will be dressed in red once more.”
He nods and swallows thickly. “Thank you, Y/N. It means more than you know.”
You smile softly, “We’re a team. And I promise to do whatever it takes to see us on top again.”
***
Early that Friday at AutĂłdromo Hermanos RodrĂ­guez, you gather the team in the garage.
“Good morning, everyone,” you begin. “I know it has been a whirlwind these past few days but I want to set the tone for this weekend.”
Fred, still adjusting to the new dynamic, nods silently from the back.
“We haven’t had the time to implement any physical changes to the car,” you continue, “But they are coming. For now, the difference will be about being smart … being strategic.”
Charles listens intently, his gaze occasionally drifting to the newcomers in front of him.
Speaking of the new additions, you gesture to the two people standing on either side of you, “I’ve brought on Marit Nilsen as our Principal Strategy Engineer and Claudio Segreti as Charles’ new race engineer. Not only are they exceptional engineers but also global chess masters.”
There are murmurs of surprise and interest among the crew. The world of Formula 1 and professional chess has rarely, if ever, intersected.
Marit, a tall woman with striking blonde hair, steps forward, “Chess is all about strategy, foreseeing the opponent’s moves and countering them. That’s what we’re here to do but on the track.”
Claudio, with his dark hair and deep-set eyes, adds, “Every move and decision we make will be precise. We’ll anticipate, adapt, and overcome.”
Carlos clears his throat, “So what’s the plan for free practice?”
You smile, “Today, we observe. We learn. We see where the car stands, where our strengths and weaknesses lie.”
As free practice commences, there’s a different energy in the garage. Marit, with her sharp analytical mind, quickly picks up on patterns, working closely with Claudio and Carlos’ engineer to ensure both drivers get feedback they need.
There’s a visible shift throughout the weekend. The team, rejuvenated by fresh perspectives, operates with a renewed vigor. And while the car may not have upgrades yet, new strategy quickly begins to make a difference like anticipated.
Qualifying sees Charles securing P3, an unexpected but welcome result. The garage is full of cautious hope but Marit and Claudio remain focused, already planning for the race to come.
Race day dawns and the tension is thick. You pull Charles aside, “Remember, things have changed. Believe in the strategy and the moves we make.”
He nods, “I trust them. And I trust you.”
As the lights go out and the cars roar to life, Charles delivers a performance that’s both calculated and aggressive. Every pit stop and every overtake is orchestrated like a chess match.
The race sees Charles finishing in P2 and Carlos in P4, a significant improvement from recent races.
The garage is a mix of tentative elation and relief.
Marit thoroughly reviews the race data, “This is just the beginning. Once the car upgrades are in place, the board will be ours.”
The sun sets on the Mexico City Grand Prix, but for Scuderia Ferrari, a new dawn is on the horizon.
***
“Fabiano Turati,” you muse, looking at the impressive portfolio before you. “Aerospace engineer, a key player in the development of hypercars for Agnellotti Motors, a professor at Politecnico di Milano. But never in F1?”
Fabiano, with salt and pepper hair and an air of quiet confidence, smiles slightly. “It’s not for lack of offers. I have just always believed in pushing boundaries outside of traditional paths.”
You lean back, intrigued, “So why Ferrari now?”
His eyes scan around the garage, “A challenge. An opportunity. A legacy to uphold. And, to put it simply, I think I can make a difference.”
You nod, appreciative of his candor. “We have three races left this season: Brazil, Las Vegas, and Abu Dhabi. Realistically, how much can we improve?”
You can practically see the gears in his brain turning, “In terms of complete redesign? Not much. But in terms of optimization and efficiency? Quite a bit.”
By the Brazilian Grand Prix, Fabiano’s influence is evident. While not a complete transformation, the SF-23 sports streamlined wings and a refined rear diffuser, maximizing what the current design allows.
“Initial feedback is good,” Charles reports after the practice session. “There’s a notable difference in the corners.”
Carlos chimes in, “The balance feels better.”
The improvements are evident, with both Ferraris finishing just off the podium. But Las Vegas poses a new challenge: a circuit unfamiliar to all teams and drivers.
“This is anyone’s game,” Marit says, examining the track layout.
Fabiano nods, “This weekend will be all about adaptation.”
The Las Vegas Grand Prix is an exhilarating rollercoaster. Charles fights for a podium finish, narrowly missing out but showcasing the SF-23’s newfound prowess, while Carlos secures a solid sixth.
As the season finale in Abu Dhabi looms, anticipation runs high. The Yas Marina Circuit will end the year with a test of Ferrari’s mettle.
Post-race, with both Ferraris finishing on the podium after avoiding a pile up that took out multiple opponents, there’s a sense of satisfaction but also of hunger.
“We’ve made progress,” Fabiano says as the garage winds down. “But next season, we’ll aim for a car that is not just evolved but fully revolutionized.”
You smile, “With you on board, I truly believe we can. The future is bright for Scuderia Ferrari.”
***
“Look at her,” Fabiano muses, admiration clear as the blueprint for the SF-24 is spread out before you both in your Maranello office.
“She’s a beauty,” you agree, tracing your fingers over the schematics. “If she performs half as well as she looks ...”
“She will,” Fabiano leaves no room for doubt. “We’ve streamlined the aerodynamics, enhanced the power unit, and made significant weight reductions.”
Carlos walks in with a grin on his face, “Is this the beast we’re taming next season?”
“That’s the plan.”
Charles catches your eye from where he lingers by the door. “It’s a fresh start,” he murmurs, approaching the table almost reverently. “I feel it.”
Over the following weeks, you rarely leave the factory other than to sleep and shower. You immerse yourself with the team, observing wind tunnel tests, joining strategy sessions, and even trying your hand with pit stop drills.
One evening, after a particularly long meeting, Charles finds you in the lounge, sipping an espresso. “Mind if I join you?”
You gesture to the seat across, “Of course not.”
He sits and just looks at you until you get the urge to fidget. “I’ve been thinking,” Charles begins, “About the changes, the car, and ... us.”
You raise an eyebrow, “Us?”
Charles smiles slightly, “You and I. We’ve spent so much time together these past weeks. I’ve gotten to know you, not just as Y/N Ferrari but as ... Y/N.”
You flush and not just from the hot coffee, “I feel the same. It’s been ... refreshing. Getting to know the man behind the helmet.”
He leans forward, elbows on the table, “There’s this great little place just outside Maranello. Quiet, hidden. I was thinking, maybe, dinner?”
Your heart skips a beat but you maintain your composure, “I’d really like that.”
The winter in Maranello unfolds, and as the SF-24 takes shape, so does the bond between you and Charles.
Between brainstorming sessions and late-night discussions about optimal setups, there are stolen moments: shared glances, lingering touches, and dinners that stretch long into the night talking about anything and everything.
Carlos teases, “Seems like the new car isn’t the only thing igniting sparks.”
You roll your eyes but there’s no hiding the smile tugging at your lips. You don’t try to deny it. Why bother when you hope it might be true one day?
***
r/formula1
Posted by RaceRundown ¡ 6 hours ago
First look at the SF-24! Thoughts?
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RedFever ¡ 6 hours ago
This could be the machine that keeps Ferrari at the top. Just look at those lines!
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PitStopPundit ¡ 5 hours ago
Getting major 2004 vibes from this. Could be a dominant year for the Scuderia!
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***
You step into the air-conditioned motorhome, grateful for an escape from the Bahraini heat. Charles and Carlos, race suits unzipped around their waists, are animatedly discussing their first day of preseason testing with the SF-24.
“Last year, we didn’t have to sandbag because the car was, well … genuinely that slow,” Charles laughs. “But this time around ...”
Carlos grins, finishing his sentence. “This time, we have an ace up our sleeves.”
You nod, “Just remember, it’s only testing. We still have to see where we truly stand.”
The race weekend finally kicks off and the paddock is full of speculation. After a deliberately unimpressive showing during testing, no one expects Ferrari to be a front-runner.
Yet, when the lights go out, the SF-24 does not just impress …. it dominates. Charles takes P1 with Carlos not far behind in P3. And the world takes notice.
The next few races see a rejuvenated Ferrari. In Saudi Arabia, Charles and Carlos deliver a nail-biting duel with Red Bull, securing a double podium. Australia is a tougher battle, with Mercedes coming to form, but Charles clinches a respectable P4.
The Asian leg of the season has its highs and lows. In Japan, despite a torrential downpour, Charles masterfully handles the wet track to clinch the top step. On the podium, he points up at the sky and then shapes his fingers — first into a one and then a seven — a silent tribute to his late godfather and mentor.
However, China proves challenging and sees the SF-24 struggling unusually with tire degradation. But as Miami approaches, the team regroups and Charles takes a commanding win under the Florida sun.
Then comes Imola, the first of Ferrari’s home races.
As the sun shines brightly over the circuit named after your great-grandfather and grand uncle, you find yourself walking the track alongside Charles. The weight of racing on home soil evident in his eyes.
“Everything okay?” You check, sensing his nervous energy.
He looks at you and taking a deep breath. “Racing in front of the Tifosi at home always feel different. I want to make them proud.”
“No matter what happens today, they will be proud of you. The whole team will be proud of you. We’ve come so far.”
He smiles, visibly lighter. “Then let’s give them a race to remember.”
And it is nothing short of spectacular. Charles starts P2, but with determination and brilliant strategy, he overtakes Max in the final lap and secures a victory for Ferrari on home soil.
The roar of the crowd, the sea of red flags, the tears in Charles’ eyes as he stands atop the podium — you make a promise to never forget this moment.
As the sun sets on Imola, the Scuderia Ferrari team comes together, basking in their victory.
As Charles, champagne-soaked and beaming, pulls you in for a damp hug, it is clearer than ever that this season is only the beginning of a beautiful journey ahead.
***
“Norris is approaching on a flying lap. Make sure not to impede,” Claudio’s voice comes through crisp and clear over the radio during the dying moments of Q3 for the Monaco Grand Prix.
You can practically feel Charles’ concentration from where you’re seated on the Ferrari pit wall. The narrow streets of Monaco leave no room for error … Charles knows this better than most.
“Copy,” Charles responds, adjusting his position on the track just enough to give Lando the space he needs to pass while keeping his own momentum.
The clock is ticking and Charles needs a perfect lap if he wants to clinch pole position.
“Tires are feeling good. Pushing now,” Charles says, rounding the first corner with precision. The SF-24 dances around the iconic circuit, the roar of its engine echoing through the streets.
From Casino Square to the hairpin and through the tunnel, Charles’ driving is flawless. Every apex hit and every corner nailed.
“Final sector, Charles. Make it count,” Claudio encourages.
And he does. Crossing the line and jumping to the top of the timing board.
The garage cheers but there’s no time to waste. Tomorrow’s race is what truly matters.
***
Race day in Monaco is always special, but today, with Charles starting from pole, there’s an electric tension in the air.
“Lights out in ten,” Marit announces over the intercom.
Charles, already in the zone, simply nods.
And then he’s lined up on the front row.
The lights illuminate one by one. Then, in a heartbeat, they go out.
The race is on.
Charles gets a strong start, holding off challengers through the initial turns. The streets of Monaco are notoriously difficult for overtaking, so track position is everything.
“Maintain the pace. Tire management is key,” Claudio advises as the laps progress.
As the race unfolds, strategy becomes crucial.
“Plan to box in two laps,” Marit instructs through Claudio. With with Verstappen close on his tail, everything must be executed perfectly.
The pit stop is lightning-fast, the crew working in synchrony. Charles emerges just ahead of Max, who had followed him into the pits.
Throughout the race, Charles’ skill shines. He manages his tires, navigates the backmarkers, and keeps a razor-sharp focus.
The final laps approach. The team, the spectators, the entire Principality holds its breath.
The chequered flag waves and Charles crosses the finish line to takes his first home win. The elation, the pride, the sheer emotion of the moment is overwhelming.
“Monaco, Charles! You’ve won Monaco!”
Tears in his eyes, Charles responds, voice choked, “We did it! This is for Monaco. This is for Ferrari. Grazie mille. Merci beaucoup.”
The team gathers beneath the podium, celebrating their victory and the hometown here. Charles quickly sprays the two drivers beside him before aiming the bottle at the sea of red cheering in front of him and soaking his team in champagne.
He thinks back to how this weekend ended last season and let’s his elation wash away the years of dejected he faced before.
Things are different now.
***
“I’ve never seen Monaco come alive like this after a win,” you shout over the pulsating music in one of the city’s many upscale clubs.
Charles grins, leaning in closer so you can hear him. “It’s the magic of a home race victory!”
As the night turns to early morning, alcohol flows freer and the laughter grows louder.
The Ferrari team loves any reason to celebrate and they’re certainly making the most of the location.
Charles pulls you to a quieter corner of the VIP section. “Have you ever danced with a Monaco Grand Prix winner?”
You roll your eyes at the attempt at flirting but laugh as you accept his outstretched hand. “There’s a first time for everything.”
The two of you dance, losing track of time.
The world blurs around you. All that matters is the magnetic pull between you two which has been simmering for so long that it is threatening to overflow.
Charles pulls you closer, his lips brushing your ear. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”
You relish in the warmth of his breath against your skin. “What’s that?”
“I’m drawn to you,” he admits, eyes searching yours. “Not just because of tonight but ... there’s something between us. I feel it. And I think you do too.”
You swallow hard. “I do.”
He hesitates before wrapping an arm around your waist, “Come with me.”
Without a word, you both exit the club, making your way to his apartment. The air between you is thick with anticipation but also vulnerability … openness.
Once inside, he gently pushes you against the wall, lips crashing onto yours. It’s passionate and intense, like a dam that has been waiting to break.
Charles pulls away slightly, “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” you whisper, eyes locked with his. “But ... Charles, not just for tonight. I don’t want this to be just a result of a victory high or the Monaco night air.”
He cups your face, thumb brushing your cheek. “I don’t want that either. This isn’t about the race or the party. It’s about us. I think it’s been about us for a while now.”
“Then why didn’t you say something sooner?”
He chuckles softly. “You think it’s easy, being around you every day, wanting to be close but maintaining a distance for the sake of professionalism? To spend every evening when we’re in Maranello sitting across from you at dinner and wishing that I could call it a date? But tonight,” he pauses, eyes searching yours, “Tonight felt different.”
You waste no time to draw him closer. “No more waiting then.”
***
Canada’s Circuit Gilles Villeneuve echoes with the roar of engines and the cheers of fans. Charles dominates the track, mastering the chicanes and the notorious Wall of Champions.
But the race isn’t straightforward. Mid-race, strategy suddenly changes when an unexpected rain shower soaks the track. However, the new strategy team you’ve brought in makes all the right calls and Charles takes the chequered flag.
In the Spanish sun, it’s a different story. The high-speed corners expose a slight flaw in the SF-24 which leaves Charles fighting valiantly but finishing third.
Despite the setback, you see determination in his eyes. “We’ll get them in Austria,” he promises.
True to his word, at the Red Bull Ring, he dominates. The SF-24 suits the straights and fast corners. Charles takes pole and leads every lap, building a gap that the competition can’t close. The victory feels even sweeter given the circuit’s name.
Silverstone proves challenging. There’s fierce competition, and while Charles doesn’t win, he’s involved in one of the most thrilling wheel-to-wheel battles of the season with Max Verstappen. They exchange positions multiple times, showing pure racing talent. In the end, Charles finishes a proud second after a photo finish.
The Hungarian Grand Prix tests the team. Tire strategy becomes paramount. The SF-24 shows vulnerabilities in the surprisingly sweltering conditions. Still, Charles’ impeccable driving and some cunning strategy calls earn him a place on the podium.
At the Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps, Charles shines brilliantly. He conquers Eau Rouge and Raidillon like few can, making it seem effortless. The SF-24 feels perfectly balanced and he takes another win, smiling at the Ferrari flags waving high in the crowd as the Monegasque and Italian anthems play.
Through it all, you see Charles grow not just as a driver but as a leader and beacon of hope for the team and global fanbase. He is not just driving for himself or for Ferrari, he drives for everyone who believes in him.
***
The warm Italian sun pours golden light onto the expansive villa overlooking Lake Como. The water below sparkles, mirroring the sky. For a brief moment, the hectic world of Formula 1 feels miles away.
You’re lounging under an oversized umbrella, Aperol Spritz in hand, while Charles emerges from the pool, beads of water cascading down his toned physique.
“That swim was perfect,” Charles grins as he flops down beside you.
“You were in there for ages! Trying to turn into a fish?”
He shakes his head like a wet puppy, making you squeal as you try to escape the splashes. “Just preparing for our yacht trip. Besides, I have to burn off all those pasta dinners we’ve been having or else I won’t fit in the car by the end of the month.”
“The troubles of a professional athlete,” you laugh, “I’ve been indulging and I’m not even sorry.”
That evening, the two of you share a quiet moment on the terrace. Soft jazz floats from inside and cicadas buzz rhythmically.
“Remember our first race together?” Charles starts. “It feels like a lifetime ago.”
“I never imagined we’d be here. But I am so glad that we are.”
He meets your gaze, his eyes reflecting the same heat you feel. “Me too. These moments, away from the track with you ... they’re special.”
The following week, you find yourselves on a luxurious yacht off the coast of Sardinia. Charles’ family and both of your friends are aboard. The sun decks echo with laughter, music, and the soft lapping of waves. There is never a quiet moment and you relish in the sounds of happiness.
As you stand by the railing, watching Charles and Joris race each other on jet-skis, Arthur slides up beside you. “So, how’s life with my big brother?”
You laugh, “It’s an adventure every day. But honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s wonderful. He’s wonderful.”
Arthur nods, “I’ve never seen him this happy, you know?”
You smile warmly, your gaze drifting to where Charles has somehow fallen into the water and is now splashing his friend. “He brings out the best in me, just as I hope I do for him.”
***
The gentle lapping of the Mediterranean waves seems like a distant memory as you find yourself in Zandvoort.
“Quite the change of scenery, isn’t it?” Charles chuckles, standing beside you as the sea breeze of the Dutch coast tousles his hair.
You laugh, “A bit but I’ve missed it. Nothing beats the excitement of a race weekend.”
And what a weekend it was. Charles, against all odds, comes out on top at Max Verstappen’s home race. The Dutch crowd offer begrudging respect as Charles takes the top step.
And then, Monza.
Monza is different. There’s an electricity in the air that cannot be replicated anywhere else. It’s the home race of Ferrari … the cathedral of speed.
“Do you know,” you tell Charles as you both walk through the paddock, “I used to come here with my grandfather as a child. This track ... it’s steeped in history. I’ve always loved it.”
“Winning here was like nothing else I have ever experience,” he reflects. “Let’s do it again. We’ll write our own chapter in history this weekend.”
Qualifying is a nail-biter. Charles pushes the SF-24 to its limits, dancing on the edge of control.
“How are we looking?” Charles checks in.
“You’re on provisional pole,” Claudio responds over the radio. “But push on the last sector. Max is close and getting closer.”
And push he does. Charles clinches pole with a margin that leaves no doubts about the capabilities of both the driver and the car.
Race day, the atmosphere is fever-pitched. The Tifosi, in their sea of red, wave their flags and banners, chanting Charles’ name like a prayer. As the lights go out, the battle rages. The strategy is aggressive, a one-stop that requires Charles to defend position in the latter stages of the race.
“Lap 45. Push now, we need widen this gap,” Claudio instructs.
The tires scream in protest as Charles further carves out a lead. But as the laps tick down, Verstappen and Piastri close in.
“Drive smart and hold them off. Four laps to go. You’ve got this,” Claudio urges him on.
Going wheel-to-wheel with Max through the Ascari chicane, Charles pulls ahead. The Tifosi roar, their energy and sheer will pushing him on.
“Last lap. Bring it home!”
And he does.
As Charles crosses the finish line, the crowd erupts. The track is soon packed with red as fans flood the track, surrounding the podium.
From the sea of faces, one voice stands out — yours, “You did it, Charles. Monza is yours.”
He lifts the trophy high, a tear in his eye, “We did it. This is for Ferrari … for the Tifosi … for us.”
***
The streets of Baku and the lights of Singapore both witness the magic that Charles and the SF-24 weave together. Two more wins, two more steps closer to the championship.
And then you find yourselves in Texas.
“Do you remember this time last year?” Charles asks.
“How could I forget? It was the phone call that changed everything.”
Charles laughs but there’s a weight to it, “For both of us. It was a disaster ... pole to sixth and then the disqualification. All because of...” He doesn’t finish the sentence, the mismanagement of the team a heavy shadow neither of you can forget.
“You’ve grown since then,” you point out gently, “The team has grown. Look at where we are now.”
He nods, taking a deep breath, “One year. So much has changed. From one of the worst days in my racing career to ... this.” Charles gestures around, to the revamped team, the transformed car, the very atmosphere of competence that permeates every corner of the Ferrari garage.
“I can’t believe we’re here,” he whispers, “The championship is within our grasp. Right back where it all went wrong.”
You take a moment to pull out your laptop and open a data sheet, “Here’s the breakdown. If Max gets P2 in both the sprint and the race, you need P1 in both. That’s how we seal the championship this weekend.”
Charles’ eyes scan the spreadsheet, “That’s ... a tall order.”
“But not impossible. Not for you and not for this team,” you assure him.
He chuckles again but it’s brighter now, “With you in my corner? I know anything is possible.”
***
The energy is electric when qualifying day arrives in Austin. You find Charles in his driver’s room, eyes closed in focus as he visualizes the track.
“You ready for this?”
His eyes pop open, determination burning in them. “Ready. Let’s show them what we can do.”
Qualifying unfolds in a blur of fast laps and bated breath. Charles pushes the limits, wrestling the SF-24 around the bumpy circuit.
“Time for one more lap. Give it your all here,” Claudio radioes through.
Jaw set, Charles squeezes all he can from the SF-24. Silence falls as he crosses the line … broken by cheers as his new lap time is set.
Pole position for the second season in a row.
Charles sheds his helmet and rips off his balaclava. “Yes! That’s how we start a weekend!”
The sprint shootout and race similarly see Charles launch cleanly from P1, building a gap early.
“Verstappen is matching your pace, don’t let him get within DRS range,” Claudio advises.
“Copy,” Charles responds, focused.
A late charge from Max raises tensions but Charles keeps him at bay, taking the chequered flag and the eight points.
“That’s the way to do it!” You shout as Charles enters the garage.
“Grand Slam in the sprint, now time for the main event,” he grins.
You rally the team Sunday morning. “Remember, the start is crucial. The car that lines up in P2 has led by the end of lap 1 for five years in a row. We need full focus.”
It seems like barely any time has passed before Charles takes his spot on the grid. Lights out, tires screeching, he holds the lead through the first lap madness.
“Nicely done,” Claudio praises. “Manage those tires now.”
The pit stop strategy is executed flawlessly. Charles takes his second stop, emerging ahead of a charging Verstappen.
“Ten laps remaining,” Claudio counts down.
Charles responds with measured confidence, “Let’s bring it home.”
In the closing laps, he is poetry in motion, hitting each apex and maximizing every straight. Max closes in but Charles is perfect to the millimeter.
“Charles Leclerc,” Claudio’s voice cracks with emotion, “you are the World Champion!”
Eyes wet, Charles radios in, “Yes! Yes! Yes! We did it! Thank you guys! This is unbelievable! Grazie, grazie mille, grazie a tutti! It’s been an incredible season with all of you. This is for the team, for Ferrari, for all the fans, and for everyone who has supported me. We brought it back to Maranello! I’m speechless ... grazie, thank you!”
In the garage, celebrations in full swing, you lean in with a laugh, “Don’t worry, I checked with the FIA — the plank is up to regulation this time.”
Grinning, Charles pulls you into a passionate kiss as the team hoots and hollers around you.
The World Champion smiles so bright he makes the Texan sun look dull in comparison.
You would do anything to make sure he feels like this every season. You will do anything to make sure he feels like this every season.
***
The winter sun casts a warm glow on Maranello as you walk beside Charles into the Ferrari factory. The off-season buzz of activity fills the air as the team prepares for next year’s challenges.
Charles looks at the sleek lines of the new SF-25 with anticipation. “She’s beautiful. I can’t wait to see what she can do.”
“This one’s special. She’ll be fighting for the championship again.”
“Yeah?”
“You heard me right,” you say with a smile. “I made you a promise. Last season was just the beginning.”
As Charles turns for a briefing, you spot Fred across the room. Your relationship has evolved and he now respects the authority you wield for the team’s benefit.
Approaching, you extend a hand. “I wanted to say, you’ve led the team well this past season.”
He grasps it firmly. “We share this success. Thank you for being the catalyst we needed”
You know there will still be challenges ahead. But Ferrari has been reinvigorated. Its racing spirit has been reignited.
That evening, Charles joins you on the terrace of the home you both share when in Maranello and wraps you both in a warm blanket to fight the chill. “Can you believe what a year it’s been?”
You shake your head. “It’s been a dream.”
He pulls you close. “The dream is just beginning and it’s a dream I hope we never wake up from.”
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Uchusen Vol.186 (Autumn 2024) Kamen Rider Gavv | Detail of Heroes ft. Main Cast Interviews (other pages and translations below)
Publication: October 1, 2024 (between episode 5-6)
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Chinen Hidekazu (Shouma)
"Which shows from the Kamen Rider series have you seen?"
Chinen: From my generation, I watched "Kamen Rider W," "OOO," "Fourze," and "Wizard." I've been watching "Kamen Rider Zero-One," a masterpiece by Director Sugihara, who also directed the pilot of Gavv, and recently I watched "Kamen Rider Den-O" for the sake of studying.
"Who would your all time favorite Rider be?"
Chinen: Including OOO, I like alot of them, but lately I've been particularly fond of Den-O. It was really amazing to see each of the Imagin's personalities being performed by Satoh Takeru-san, the lead actor. The theme song is good too. I listen to the OP every episode without skipping it.
"Please tell us about the time of your audition for Gavv."
Chinen: We were put into pairs, one would play a role reminiscent of the food lover Shouma, and the other played a cool role similar to Hanto. During the first audition, I made a mistake. When I was supposed to do a performance where I entered the room from outside, I mistook the door for an outward opening one instead of an inward one, so I kept trying to pull it when I should've been pushing, and it ended up making alot of noise. I also heard the Producers laughing because I was having trouble getting in, but when I finally did, I continued the performance as if nothing had happened. Thinking about it now……I guess maybe that feeling of disconnect was also linked to Shouma's.
"We're sure you must've been quite flustered at that time"
Chinen: I was really flustered because of that (laughs). I was panicking quite abit because it wasn't an act, I really made a mistake. Still, I thought, "I've come this far, so let's do this!," so it might've been a good thing that I was able to accept it and give an earnest performance.
"How were you informed that you had been chosen?
Chinen: One day, my manager called me and said, "I need you to come to the office after work." I went to the office thinking, "Maybe they're upset at me for failing something?," but they said, "We have a report. We're disappointed to tell you that the final audition for Kamen Rider is no longer available." I was frustrated because I thought I had been rejected, but I still said, "I understand, I'll do my best next time." At that exact moment, the staff came through the door and shot off party poppers. That's when I asked my manager, "This isn't a dream, is it?" I pinched myself just to be sure (laughs). Even though it hurt, I couldn't believe it, and when I finally became aware of it, I felt like, "I'm the happiest guy in the world right now!"
"How did you inform your family?"
Chinen: I immediately called my mother about it. She said, "Hide, will you be okay with having the lead role?" Ever since I was little, I always said I wanted to one day play the main character in Kamen Rider. Both my mother and father supported this dream and saw me off to Tokyo. However, I really didn't think it would come true, and I think I was more worried about whether I'd be able to play the main character in such a big title before I was happy.
"Please tell us your impressions when you learned that Gavv was a Kamen Rider with a sweets motif."
Chinen: I received the proposal at the same time I was chosen to play the lead role, so that was the first time I learned about it. My first thoughts were, "A sweets Kamen Rider?" and "What will the gummies be like?" I didn't immediately understand the concept. It was the same kind of impact I felt when I first saw the orange and armor motif of "Kamen Rider Gaim." Still, when I read the proposal, it was very original and interesting. I could really feel the passion of the creators in wanting to create such a hero needed in the era we live in. I thought, "I want to be that kind of hero, and I also want to do my best!" I was impressed by the way the Rider's design incorporated gummies and potato chips, and I thought, "The person who thought this up is a genius."
"What's your absolute favorite form?"
Chinen: As of right now, it's Zakuzaku Chips. I'm a big fan of dual wielding swords, as I often use dual wielding characters in games. Also, I like the jagged potato chips on its eyes. From a distance, doesn't it look like Kamen Rider OOO? I like that about it too.
"Due to the complicated background of the character, we feel that Shouma, who you're playing, requires difficult performances. What kind of orders did the Director give you?"
Chinen: Director Sugihara said, "While he is a young man, I want him to retain a part of his innocence," and that, "He's friendly, but there seems to be a wall between his heart." He said, "He has a bright side and a dark side that he doesn't show others. I hope you can show us how well you can switch between those two personalities."
"Shouma's upbringing is one thing, but it's also cruel that the enemies he's fighting against are his family."
Chinen: Yeah, I personally think it's so cruel, that I pity Shouma. It's a harsh story for a show that's meant for small children to watch. I personally feel like it's mentally draining to play the role of blood related brothers fighting against each other as enemies. What's more, there's no escape from that fate. However, while the story and Shouma's circumstances are hard, the eating of sweets and poppin scenes help soften the situation. The gap between those scenes gives more depth to the hard story. I also try to be conscious of this when I act differently.
"It seems to strike a good balance between the poppin imagery and the hard content."
Chinen: Some fans predicted, "Is it going to be a show like Gaim?," when they saw the official announcement before the show aired. Kamen Rider productions that start out appealing to the "pop" part tend to have harsher developments (laughs). I myself don't want it to be too serious, so through trial and error, I'm still trying to figure out how to make the "pop" in Gavv stand out.
"The role sounds like a pretty high hurdle to clear."
Chinen: Still, I think it was the same for my seniors who performed in previous Riders. I believe that it's Kamen Riders who overcome their troubles, conflicts, and ordeals.
"How was filming for the transformation pose?"
Chinen: The pose was decided on three or four days before we started filming. We agreed on it through discussions among myself, Action Director Fujita-san, and Director Sugihara. In the first episode, there was no proper pose, as the transformation was done during a pinch, so the pose wasn't done until episode 2, but the transformation scene in the first episode was also very cool. Shouma's body slowly changes, and at the end, we get a closeup of his face and Gavv's mask, but he doesn't change all at once, leaving the eyes unchanged. It was very cool, and I was trembling by the way they showed the expression in my eyes until the very end! This is a special version that's only found in the first episode, so I hope you'll watch it again.
"We think that there'll also be action scenes before the transformation, but what about you?"
Chinen: The action is alot of fun……that being said though, I struggle with it quite abit. Action isn't just about being good at punching and kicking. I have to make the action visually appealing. Despite all that, I of course have to put my feelings into it. Fujita-san was by my side the whole time, and Gavv's Suit Actor Nawata Yuya-san was also always near the cameras, and he was very helpful and gave me advice like, "You did it this way before, but why don't you try it this way?" Also, I practice kyokushin karate, so that might be why I was praised for my kicks. So, when it came to direction, we also had an increase in kicking scenes. Over the next year, I'd like to improve my action skills more.
"How was post recording?"
Chinen: It was my first time, so it was much more difficult than filming. Director Sugihara spent alot of time with me for episodes 1 and 2 in particular, since they're the ones the viewers would see for the first time. After that, Director Sugihara gave me some advice. Shouts like "Hah!" and "Tah!" tend to become monotonous as it goes on, so he said, "I want to see some variation." He recommended the game "Street Fighter" as a good reference. I wrote down the shouts I thought were good in a memo and did them my own way. Naturally, I also referred to the shouts of my senior Riders.
"What's been your most passionate scene so far?"
Chinen: It would have to be the transformation scene in the first episode. Until then, the wind had been blowing so strongly, that it was like a cloud of dust, but it stopped right as it came time to do my performance. Thanks to this, we were able to shoot the cut where the wind makes Shouma's hair rise up and reveals his eyes. I also talked with Director Sugihara about it, saying, "It's a scene where the wind was on our side."
"How's the teamwork with your costars, Hino Yusuke-san and Miyabe Nozomi-san?"
Chinen: Both of them are usually friendly, but when they get in front of the cameras, they quickly switch into their roles. They're the type of people who can clearly switch on and off. Not just for Shouma, they're also my own reassuring friends.
"We were told that among the three of you, Chinen-san's plays the role of the funny guy, while Hino-san's the straight man."
Chinen: Sometimes I'll derail the conversation or make bombshell statements (laughs). Each time, Hino-san puts us back on the right track. Miyabe-san watches from a slightly removed position, but will sometimes react.
"By the way, Chinen-san, what's your favorite sweet?"
Chinen: It's gummies, naturally! However, since I'm from Okinawa, I'd also like to promote "chinsukou" and "sata andagi" (laughs).
"We'd also love to see those two appear as Gochizou."
Chinen: Will they appear?! It seems like they'd be limited to Okinawa. Of course, I'd be happy if they come out, but for now I'll just hope for it within my heart.
"Finally, please give a message directed to all the fans of Gavv."
Chinen: The story of Kamen Rider Gavv began with a young man coming from another world to the human world. I hope that you'll pay attention to how Shouma meets unique friends in the human world and grows. Especially the bond he has with his mother, family bonds is one of the themes, so if possible, I'd like you to watch it with your loved ones. If you watch it, you'll definitely want to show your love and respect to your parents. I'd like to make this a show that you can support throughout the year. I hope you'll pay attention to and enjoy the activities of not only our cast, but also the Gochizou. I look forward to your support throughout the next year!
Hino Yusuke (Hanto)
"Have you watched the Kamen Rider series?"
Hino: I have an older brother, so we had alot of transformation belts from "Kamen Rider Kuuga" and other early Heisei series at home. In terms of my generation though, it would've been "Kamen Rider Den-O." After that, I watched "Kamen Rider Kiva" and "Kamen Rider Decade."
"Who's your all time favorite Rider?"
Hino: I watched it with enthusiasm, so it'd have to be Den-O. When I was in elementary school, I commuted to school by train and was once stopped by a station attendant when I tried to walk through the ticket gate with the pass for the transformation belt (laughs).
"Did you play the role of Hanto during the audition?"
Hino: I also played the role of who I later found out was the main character, but in the end, I was frequently assigned the role of Hanto. Still, I thought his character had a cool position when they explained him to me, so I wasn't sure if he'd fit with my everyday self.
"How was it when you learned that you had been chosen?"
Hino: I was shocked because I wasn't expecting to be picked. The way my agency informed me also startled me abit. I was so happy and shocked, that I was in a state where I couldn't think straight for about five minutes.
"Did you contact your family right away?"
Hino: I was told it was okay to contact my parents as soon as I could. My mother cried and was delighted. Hearing my mother's tearful voice on the other end of the phone caused me to cry as well. My father never seemed very interested in my work, but when I told him that I had passed the audition, he exclaimed "seriously?!" in the loudest voice I had ever heard (laughs). It made me really happy when I heard that. My father's always worrying about me. I started this work when I was in high school, but was told, "You're a student, so your priority is your studies and to then go to college." However, my work became so busy, that it became difficult for me to attend college, and my parents were constantly worried about me. That's why I think I was finally able to reassure them by passing this audition, and it's a new starting point for me as well. In this day and age, TV dramas that run for a year are rare, so I'm grateful for the opportunity to participate in one, and I'll do my best this year without forgetting to keep my mind fresh.
"What was your first impression when you read the script?"
Hino: When I first heard about the motif, I thought, "What would a sweets Rider be like?" I think everyone's first guess would be a poppin, cute hero. So, while yes, the designs give off a cool, cute and modern feel, the story is very dramatic. The lives of Shouma and Hanto, who I play, will gradually overlap, and many other appealing characters appear, which always makes me wonder what will happen next. I myself look forward to the next script whenever I receive one. How will Hanto become a Kamen Rider, and how will he relate to Shouma after becoming one? I hope that you'll look forward to that.
"Did the Director give you any orders regarding your performance?"
Hino: I was told, "It's good to be more flexible." There's the way he approaches people with his fake smile when he's a freelance writer, and his "I'll crush you" anger when he confronts a Granute. It didn't matter what others would think, he told me, "I'd rather you vary his strengths and weaknesses so that he looks like a different person." At first, I thought Hanto was a cool character. It certainly looks that way when compared to Shouma and Sachika, but there are surprisingly few scenes resembling that in the show, it's more like he's clumsy around people. The Director raised the mood of my first appearance scene, up to the point where it felt like a silly older brother had appeared. That part changed the impression I had when I first received the script considerably.
"We have the impression that freelance writers are prone to being disliked, as they're always snooping around and are persistent in pestering the main character."
Hino: While I can't speak for myself, Hanto himself is a character who's teased during the show, so he's the most lovable character. He acts with conviction, and I think that's what makes him so cool, but he sometimes ends up getting nowhere, so he gets teased. And yet, when he's teased, he'll get angry and say, "Don't screw with me!," but he doesn't deny it (laughs). The reason Hanto's slowly becoming more like that may be due to the fact that my own character is starting to come out. In this sense, I feel that the synchronization with the role has risen. This way, Hanto's character has a wide range, so I'm able to play him rather freely.
"After this, Hanto reaches a major turning point when he becomes a Kamen Rider, so did you switch up your performance there?"
Hino: For Hanto, it's not so much a situation where his fate has taken a turn for the worse, it's more like his connection from the past has further unfolded. That's why rather than switching between before and after he becomes a Kamen Rider, I tried to separate his role as a freelance writer from his desire for revenge against the Granutes. To tell you the truth, after I learned about Hanto's early life, I tried to avoid "seeing" his family as much as possible in order to understand his loneliness alittle better. That's why when he confronts the Granutes, I think his eyes are pretty much burning with anger. It is of big help for him that he's surrounded by cheerful characters like the Gochizou and Sachika.
"How was the first transformation scene?"
Hino: Before his first transformation, another major event happens to Hanto which leads to him becoming a Kamen Rider. With the power he's acquired for the first time, Hanto's first transformation is a scene where he shows the anger and hatred he's been holding onto for such a long time towards the Granute. Trying to convey those emotions through my performance was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I think that Valen's transformation itself was also unrefined, unlike the image of a perfect hero with overwhelming strength. Still, he's unrefined but works as hard as he can, so I'd be happy if everyone who watches the show can feel that there's a cool feel to him. In a scene where "tears" are an important point in the direction, I was so emotional, that tears genuinely ran down my face as well. I still remember this because it was a moment when my emotions and my performance matched up.
"As Hanto, did you feel like he reached the climax from the earliest stage?"
Hino: No, no! This isn't the end of his story! (laughs). I'm sure there'll be many more climaxes from now on, and I'm personally looking forward to them.
"What did you think of Kamen Rider Valen's design?"
Hino: There was more chocolate than I expected (laughs). Despite that, it's cool. I also like that Valen is a "helmet type," while Gavv is a "mask type."
"By the way, Hino-san, what's your favorite sweet?"
Hino: Chocolate of course!
"Do you have a favorite secondary Rider from previous Riders?"
Hino: It's Kamen Rider Zeronos from Den-O. I love his "I'm pretty strong!" catchphrase! In terms of actors, I like Yoshizawa Ryo-san, who played Kamen Rider Meteor in "Kamen Rider Fourze." When you're that cool at giving a performance, you can't be beat. Director Kamihoriuchi previously told me that when Yoshizawa-san was told to "do something like this," he instantly made it his own performance instead of following instructions. He also said, "His ability to adapt was exceptional." It made me want to be an actor like him. He's a respectable person.
"We'd like to see a catchphrase from Valen as well."
Hino: Yeah. He currently doesn't have any lines that he's always saying, but I'll try to bring out Hanto's human appeal while standing beside Shouma, the hero from another world.
"Do you want to film some action of yourself before transforming?"
Hino: Action is fun! I do voluntary training on a daily basis together with Valen's Suit Actor Kaji Kotaro-san, Gavv's Nawata Yuya-san, and everyone else on the Action Team. The day before an action scene is set to be filmed, they would assist me in practicing for it. With the exception of impossible scenes, I've been challenging myself to not use a stand in.
"How's the teamwork with your co stars, Chinen-san and Miyabe-san?"
Hino: We get along very well. They're both really adorable, but they're professional actors who are reliable on set. In a good way, we're rivals and friends. I hope I can build a better relationship with them from now on.
"Not long ago you said, "It might be his own fault that Hanto's become a character who's teased," but is Hino-san himself a character who's being teased?"
Hino: Basically, I play the role of responding to Chinen-kun's jokes (laughs). However, including Miyabe-san, when the three of us are together, I sometimes play the role of a fool, and will often be the one saying, "Hey, cut it out~." That's the way things usually go. Just so you're aware, I am the oldest (laughs).
"And now finally, please give a message to all fans of Gavv."
Hino: For me, Kamen Riders are the heroes I've dreamed of being since I was a child, so I'm very happy that I'm able to be involved in this historic series. Over the next year, I'll do my best to meet and exceed everyone's expectations with sincerity, and without forgetting my original intention. I look forward to your support!
Miyabe Nozomi (Sachika)
"First, please tell us about the time of your audition for Gavv."
Miyabe: I'll be honest, the audition was a disaster. The audition script contained several assignments, each being individually numbered. At that time, act 2 was a fainting performance and act 3 was a conversation between two people, and even though I thought, "I absolutely have to pass!," I was so incredibly nervous, that I ended up doing a fainting performance for act 3. The other actor spoke to me according to the script, and that's when I realized, "This is wrong!," but it was too late. The final audition didn't go well either. The Director told me, "Act like an aunt from Osaka," but I wasn't confident that I could pull it off, and that's when I became depressed and thought, "This is a lost cause." In spite of all that, I was surprised that I was chosen.
"How did you receive the report that you had been chosen?"
Miyabe: After the audition, my manager called me to come to Ginza. As I headed there and thought, "I wonder if they're upset about something?," they messaged me with, "Take a selfie with your phone." I didn't understand what they meant and was like, "Eh? Did I gain weight or something?" but then I got a message saying, "You passed the audition." It seems that the selfie was to document me going from freaked out to smiling. I had never been so emotionally moved as I was at that moment. This video captures a memorable moment in time, so I hope to be able to release it in some form someday (laughs).
"Have you watched the Kamen Rider series?"
Miyabe: I have a younger brother who's eight years younger than me, so we watched "Kamen Rider Drive," "Ghost," and "Ex-Aid" together. After I passed the audition, I watched "Kamen Rider Gotchard" in order to study.
"We're sure your brother was happy to know that his sister was going to play a role in Kamen Rider."
Miyabe: I still haven't told my brother yet (at the time of this interview). I was given the okay to talk to them about it, so I did contact my parents right away. I plan on surprising my brother by not telling him until the official announcement.
"What were your impressions of Gavv from reading the script?"
Miyabe: Each and every character has a story to tell, so I thought it was a production that'll keep you interested even early on. That's why I can never wait for the next script. I'm sure all the viewers feel the same way.
"Did the Director give you any orders regarding your role?"
Miyabe: Along with Shouma's Chinen-kun, Director Sugihara gave us acting lessons even before filming began. Each time, I was told, "Cheerful, cheerful." It was required at the auditions, so I always try to have the cheerfulness of an Osakan aunt and the kindness that seems to embrace everyone. Sachika is a gyaru president, but I've personally lived a life with no connection to gyarus. I also wasn't the type to stand out in class. That's why after I was chosen for this role, I learned to be more like a gyaru by listening to songs with a cheerful tempo, reading gyaru magazines, and watching official Youtube channels and TikToks.
"What does Miyabe-san think a gyarus mind is?"
Miyabe: I wonder…….No matter how difficult a situation may be, you can always think, "Well, I'll figure it out!," and in a positive sense, I think it's important not to "overthink" things. A friend of mine often says, "Keep a gyaru in your heart,” and I thought it was a very good saying. Thanks to those words, I'm now able to have a gyaru named Amane Sachika reside in my heart.
"Playing the role of Amane Sachika is also a "transformation" for Miyabe-san."
Miyabe: You're right! There's quite a gap between myself and Sachika, so I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that it's a transformation for me. I've never played a role so different from my own self before, so it's fun (laughs). It's not just acting that I enjoy, but also doing alot of research for the role.
"Did you also make your hair blonde for the role of Sachika?"
Miyabe: I did. I've always had black hair, but I bleached it three times to make it blonde. At first, every time I looked in the mirror, I was like, "Who are you?" (laughs). Still, once I got used to looking at it, I started to see myself in photos as a different person from who I used to see when I had black hair. Sachika also wears heavy makeup, so you might not even notice me when I walk down the street during my private time. That's why I'm thinking of wearing colored contacts and false eyelashes in my private time so people will notice me (laughs).
"Sachika isn't a fighter, but are there any plans for action scenes?"
Miyabe: There are no particular scenes set for me, but I was once allowed to participate in an action session. I didn't do very well at the time, but I'd be happy if they could prepare some action scenes for Sachika too! Since I went through great lengths to appear in Kamen Rider, I'd like to try my hand at action.
"Would you like to transform into a Kamen Rider like Shouma and Hanto?"
Miyabe: I'd like to do that too! Recent series always have female Kamen Riders, and my dream is to be one of them. However, Sachika's a woman with a strong heart, so even if she can't transform, I'd like to use the strength of her feelings as her "weapon."
"Miyabe-san, which Rider do you like more, Gavv or Valen?"
Miyabe: That's a tough question! (laughs). Gavv's a Rider from another world, so he's incredibly strong, but when he's alone he usually ends up in a pinch. And since Valen's the one who helps him, it's like they're one and the same. So, I guess I'd go with both.
"Have you ever directly seen the Kamen Riders on set?"
Miyabe: They're so cool! Being able to see those forms up close and personal will definitely motivate me for the next year. Before I entered this set, I thought the camera work was what made the action so powerful. Naturally, there are scenes like that, but the action itself is very powerful. When I watched episodes 1 and 2, I was surprised to see that the scenes that were already powerful without CG were even more powerful with CG.
"Were there any other spectacles unique to tokusatsu heroes?"
Miyabe: The Gochizou are made by using both props and CG, so during filming of the CG scenes, Chinen-kun talks to Gochizou that aren't there. I thought that kind of performance was difficult. Still, Sachika doesn't know that the Gochizou exists. She also doesn't know about the Granutes, or that Shouma and Hanto are Kamen Riders. They're so close, yet she only knows about Kamen Riders through gossip. I can only imagine what would happen to Sachika if she knew of the Granute's existence. She might want to try to get along with them instead of fighting. Of course, she'd become angry if someone she cared about got hurt by them.
"What's been the most impressive scene up to episode 5?"
Miyabe: Sachika runs a general store, so she and Shouma do alot of jobs together. I enjoyed the scene where they were handing out flyers to advertise the ramen shop. I'm looking forward to seeing what other jobs they do in the future. I also like the scene in episode 3, where Hanto comes to Hapipare and Sachika pokes him with a toy. I thought it was a good representation of their relationship. It's not that Sachika can't read the room, as when she has to do something, she'll do it, but the mood of the place comes first (laughs).
"Hino-san himself said that Hanto's a character that everyone teases."
Miyabe: Hino-kun himself often makes the set feel more relaxed when he's teased. I also mess around with him alot (laughs). It's kind of easy to tease him, almost like there's a sense of security and that it's okay to tease him. He's the oldest out of the three of us (laughs). Chinen-kun lightens up the mood with his interesting remarks, like when he says, "That's one way of thinking about it!" Once Hino-kun gets into it, it becomes really noisy. We screw around when it's time to screw around, but we're very serious when we have to face our roles. They'll suggest things like, "Let's try this here," or "Let's practice this alittle." I'm glad that the three of us will be together on this set for a year.
"Miyabe-san, what kind of sweets do you like?"
Miyabe: I like plum types of sweets, like crunchy plums and dried plums. On days when we have filming, I'll stop by a convenience store and buy one of those before heading to the set. However, the makeup artist pointed out to me that I should be careful not to eat too much, otherwise my face might puff up (laughs).
"And now finally, please give a message to the fans of Gavv."
Miyabe: Kamen Rider Gavv is poppin and cute, and I think it's a show that'll be easy for all kinds of people to relate to. I really hope that people of all ages will watch it. Since I'm also "armed" with a gyarus mindset, I'll do my best to cheer up tons of people. I look forward to your support over the next year!
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the-necromancer-wife ¡ 26 days ago
Text
Skully J. Graves and a personal reflection about what respect should be really about:
(And also a not-so-small slightly anthropological analysis about the importance of the work of cultural promotors)
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This person was here long before I came to NRC...
A graduate of hundreds of years ago.
Before, Halloween was a minor event, but now it's known all over...
Hes said to have laid the foundation for today's Halloween
His name is Scully J. Graves.
Known as... "King of Halloween"!
(Translated by: @MostroLoungeVIP on twitter - X)
I was wrong. Since the very beginning when i thought Skully was neurodivergent, and also when i wrote about a possible traumatic event. Nothing of it was depicted in the event story and even if my expectations were very high, i am not disappointed. I would like to share my thoughts with you:
Hundreds of years ago, before all of us were born, there was this person known as Skully J. Graves. A young man with a unique perspective, one that no one knew where it was originated.
But a valid perspective nonetheless.
You see, sometimes we don't really know why a person thinks and acts in certain ways. We don't know why people do what they do.
This is what happens with Skully. The truth is that we don't know what happened to him or where his opinions came from. Certainly we can make theories and imagine everything we want. Was it that he was raised in a secluded and conservative enviroment? Was he neurodivergent? Did he lost someone by his own hand on Halloween's day?
Every point of view is valid and we don't really need to know the whole truth to acknowledge how valid his feelings are. Personally, I didn't understand him very well at first and that's why i wanted to justify his actions so badly. Skully was feeling alone, left out and rejected for his different opinion, and my only question was "Where this opinion originated from?" instead of "How can I understand what he stands for?" and ultimately, of course, accept him as he is.
I realized I was trying to make him fit into the reasons I would use to explain myself if I had that opinion.
And Skully himself has (had) a similar conflict. To his eyes, things had certain purpose and that purpose had to remain unchanged. Halloween was about fear, thinking about oneself's actions in silence. There was a post here on tumblr that explained how his idea of a perfect Halloween coincided with different festivities.
But all this was not about Skully only. It was also about every single NRC student that couldn't respect Skully's opinion. About a bunch of people that the first question they asked themselves was "What is wrong with him?"
The same question i was asking myself before, trying to find a source for his "quirkiness" as if there had to be an explanation for his different opinions. Even the act of calling him "quirky" was a mistake itself because i labeled as such based on my own judgment.
This was a story about a kid that learned to see beyond his own judgment and teached others to do the same. Skully teached me a valuable lesson that will be useful to me for the rest of my life. I learned how easy it is to dismiss others even if I think I'm being respectful.
Respect should be about understanding, not about justifying.
Otherwise, I'm just being condescending.
And that's the reason why I was not disappointed in the end, even if i was waiting for things to end differently.
...
When I saw Skully's portrait in the end, I noticed his glasses were missing. I read that they fell after Sebek and him fought. Skully himself was upset about the tainted glasses broke, as anyone would be when their opinions are being judged. But we were able to see his eyes and he was able to see beyond his nose. I mean, it was the moment he snapped, but also what I think it is a very subtle metaphor on changing oneself's point of view.
And this was the Skully that was known years later, hundreds of years later. When there was nothing left of him to remember but the fact that he was the one responsible for making Halloween a world-wide known celebration.
Yes, a celebration.
Another valuable lesson this event taught me, was how crucial are those people with different points of view, historically and culturally speaking. Skully's beliefs were different, yes, but he was also extremely passionate. And that passion was what impulsed him to dedicate his life entirely to promote Halloween culture everywhere he went.
He traveled and learned and shared and ultimately popularized Halloween. If he hadn't, Halloween would be a forgotten celebration, like many others. This happens even in real life. Different cultures, small cultures often struggle as the time passes to keep their traditions alive because there is no one there to pass the knowledge to the next generations. There is no one to promote them outside of the small town where they were originated.
In Twisted Wonderland, is safe to assume Halloween Town was the origin of Halloween. And it was a small town. So small, even the name Jack Skellington dissolved in the modern world.
But Skully's name remained, and was even known as "King of Halloween"! And even if his ideas were a bit (a lot) different from modernity, you can't deny the impact he had on the popularization of Halloween.
Twst managed to explain a very complex historical process that involves not only cultural promotion, but also appropriation. As Halloween is celebrated in many many forms depending on the time and place. A lively halloween or a quiet halloween or a Samahin, they're all valid and unique! And they were all possible thanks to the work of Skully J. Graves, as well as the work of Jack Skellington before him, and many others before and after them both.
It is heritage, cultural heritage.
And seeing this event from that perspective, it is clear the amount of respect we owe to historical figures. Even if their thoughts seem a bit...archaic (or barbaric!!! as Jamil refered).
Revolutionary ideas in the past are often considered normal and "the obvious" in the present, as well as many "barbarics" (yes, Jamil, i'm looking at you) acts in the past are now considered well...just that.
And the reason why modernity is able to see some points of view as archaic /obvious is because those were thoughts that evolved by being constantly analyzed, criticized, modified and/or teached to newer generations.
So, yeah, thank you Skully J. Graves.
There was something breathtaking about his portrait: A young man with a unique perspective, one that no one knew where it was originated. But one that impulsed him to preserve and spread a celebration...
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...hundreds of years ago, before all of us were born.
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my-castles-crumbling ¡ 4 months ago
Text
Disappointment
My wife has requested hurt/comfort jegulus, regulus comforting jamie, so here I am writing, because I would do anything for her (and also like let's be honest, it's not exactly a chore)
@slightly-unhinged-femme <3
-
"Fuck!" James exclaimed, throwing his Quidditch gloves against the wall of the Astronomy tower, almost making himself jump at the loud slapping sound they made.
Ten points. They had been ten points away from a win. Just one more time of getting the Quaffle through the goalpost, and they would've been champions.
"We're counting on you, James!"
"I've got ten galleons on you, Potter!"
"We need this win, James! Don't let us down!
The voices of people wishing him luck flowed quickly through his mind as he crumpled to the floor, head in his hands.
Don't let us down!
But he had. He'd let them down.
He could see the disappointment on his parents' faces, even as he saw them in the stands. He could sense Sirius's sadness as they hugged, both of their scarlet uniforms covered in sweat. He knew he'd fucked up. He'd disappointed them.
All he'd needed was one more goal.
The tears started falling as he replayed every aspect of the game, trying to think of when he could've scored. And there were so many mistakes he made. So many times he could've turned left instead of right, gone up instead of down. Merlin, it really was all his fault.
He didn't hear the footsteps approach until a hand rested on his shoulder.
"Jamie."
He would have known that voice anywhere. The voice of the only person he would ever let see him like this. The only person he wanted to see.
"I fucked up, Reggie," he mumbled, not even looking up.
"You're an idiot," Regulus replied, sliding down to sit with him.
Anyone who didn't know Regulus might have thought he was agreeing with James. But James knew him better. "Yeah?" he asked, chuckling through his tears. "Why am I an idiot this time?"
"Well first, those are dragonhide gloves," Regulus said disgustedly, gesturing to the gloves James had thrown.
James laughed again, wiping at his face.
"But second," Regulus said, softer now, "this isn't your fault."
"I'm the captain," James mumbled, resting his head against Regulus's shoulder, breathing in his comforting scent. "It was my job to-"
"It was your job to lead your team," Regulus interrupted, throwing James a stern look. "Did you lead your team?"
Silently, James nodded, knowing better than to argue.
"Exactly. McKinnon hit that Bludger so far it almost didn't come back! Smith scored from halfway down the Pitch! Sirius finally learned how to hold the damn bat! You led the best team in the damn league, James, and that's on you! And I'll kill you if you tell anyone I said you're the best, by the way," he added quickly as an afterthought.
"But we lost," James murmured, turning pink at the compliment.
"I caught the Snitch," Regulus shrugged, wrapping his green robes tighter over his body. "You lot may be the best team, but I'm the best Seeker."
James stared forward, allowing the words to sink in. "I should be happy for you," he whispered, guilt flooding through him all over again.
"As if I wouldn't have thrown a right fit if we'd lost," Regulus grinned, pressing a kiss to his head. I would've shut myself in my room and read poetry until you knocked down the door, like a right tit.
James snorted. "I...I feel like I let everyone down," he said, voicing the thought that ate at him. The thing that constantly made him worry.
"Well, did you let you down?" Regulus asked, grey eyes piercing through his misery. "Or did you try your hardest, and your talented, attractive, modest boyfriend just happened to beat your arse?"
Again he laughed. "Alright, point taken. I...I'm happy for you. I think."
"As you should be," Regulus laughed, but his tone was teasing.
James smiled, looking at Regulus with admiration.
"By the way," Regulus added softly, pressing another kiss to James's lips, "you didn't let anyone down. We love you for you, James. Not how many points you get in a stupid Quidditch Match."
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eu-nicola ¡ 17 days ago
Text
the finish line part 3
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summary: you are the girlfriend of Lando Norris, Max Verstappen's rival with whom the tension between the two is undeniable.
warnings: nothing
word counter: 6122
author's note: english is not my first language, penultimate part
tags: @ferakillia @bunnies-p1tst0p @maluzets55
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Determined to work things out, you called Lando and asked to speak in person. Even though deep down you already knew it would be a difficult and probably painful conversation, you also knew you couldn’t keep running away from your problems. Lando agreed to meet you at the hotel cafeteria, though his tone on the phone sounded tense and distant.
As you got ready, your stomach was turning. You thought back to the pictures and messages you’d received, the missed calls Lando had made to you after being discovered, and everything that had happened between you and Max. You took a breath, trying to calm the whirlwind of thoughts. You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time, wanting to feel safe, and walked out to Lando’s hotel.
When you got to the cafeteria, you found him already waiting for you at a table in the back. He had a stiff posture, his hands folded in front of him on the table and his gaze fixed on the coffee in front of him. His eyes lifted slightly when he saw you arrive, and you noticed the mix of discomfort and guilt he was trying to hide under a calm facade.
You sat in silence, watching him carefully. After a few seconds, he broke the silence.
“Look, I don’t want… this conversation to get out of hand,” Lando began, his voice wavering. “I know you’re upset, and I’m clear on why. I just want you to know that… it wasn’t what it seemed.”
You looked at him, eyes narrowing. His words sounded forced, as if he was trying to convince himself of what he was saying. It hurt you to see him like this, so changed, so full of insecurity.
“It wasn’t what it seemed, Lando?” you asked, keeping your tone firm. “I saw the photos. Everyone has seen them.”
He frowned, clearly upset.
“You don’t have to make this any harder,” he replied in a defensive tone. “It was a mistake. I was just… I needed to distract myself.” But that doesn't change how I feel about you.
A mixture of anger and disappointment ran through you. You had expected a sincere apology, something more than excuses and empty promises. You tried to remain calm, but your words came out with the coldness of truth.
"How I feel has changed too, Lando," you said quietly. "All of this... I don't know if it makes sense."
Lando lowered his gaze, but you noticed that he still maintained that defensive air. It was clear that he wasn't fully assuming his responsibility; he didn't seem willing to face the consequences of his decisions.
"So this is it?" he asked in a bitter tone. "For a mistake? You weren't even there to support me like you always do. And what was I supposed to do?" His words sounded reproachful, as if he were trying to transfer part of the blame to you.
You bit your lip, holding back your fury. You knew it had been difficult for him not to have you around, but that didn't justify his attitude. Finally, you gathered your courage and faced the issue once and for all.
“This isn’t just about what happened, Lando. There’s something bigger going on here,” you told him firmly. “I need some time to think, to get clear on what I really want. I can’t stay in a relationship where I constantly have to worry about whether or not you’ll do the right thing when I’m gone.”
He gulped, and for a moment, you saw a flash of genuine pain in his eyes. But instead of acknowledging the problem, he chose to back away once again.
“Do what you want then,” he said, letting out a frustrated sigh and looking away. “If you need time, go ahead. I’m not going to stop you.”
Those words were confirmation of everything you had felt during this last stage of your relationship. Without further ado, you stood up, leaving one last glance at the one you had considered your partner for so long. There was a moment of silence between the two of you, and then you turned around and walked out of the coffee shop without looking back.
As you walked away, you felt a strange mix of relief and sadness. You had hoped that this conversation would bring you some sort of peace, a reconciliation, or at least a heartfelt explanation. But instead, it only confirmed what you already feared: perhaps it was time to put an end to it.
Back in your hotel room, you took a seat on the bed and looked around, trying to process everything that had happened. The room was silent, and the weight of your decision began to settle in, bringing with it a wave of conflicting emotions. You pulled out your phone and, almost without thinking, opened the message Max had sent you hours ago, wondering how your conversation with Lando had gone.
Without much hesitation, you wrote him a short reply.
You: “We just talked… and I think I need some time to sort out my feelings.”
After a few minutes, the phone vibrated. Max had replied:
Max: “Do whatever you need. Just remember that if you decide to move on, I’m here for you. You don’t have to face it alone.”
Reading his words, you felt a small spark of calm, as if the weight of everything that had happened had lightened a little. You knew that this time away would be necessary to understand what it was that you really wanted, but there was one thing clear in all of this: you needed to feel authentic again, without the shadows of a relationship that had begun to consume more than it offered.
Even though you wanted to take some time off, the last race of the year was being held in Abu Dhabi, and you had to attend. For you, the trip had a professional purpose: the promotion of Rolex. Despite having distanced yourself from Lando and having spent a few days trying to find clarity about your feelings, you knew that this race would also be the closing of an intense and emotional season.
Dressed elegantly, you wore a shiny Rolex watch that caught the light with every movement. As you walked through the paddock, you felt the gazes of some acquaintances and other members of the industry; everyone knew that you had been a constant figure in Lando's team, and now it seemed strange to see you in an independent context.
While you were fulfilling your promotional tasks, you crossed paths with Max. He wore his usual determined expression, but this time there was something different in his gaze. When he saw you, his eyes lit up slightly, as if something in him had made up his mind. You noticed that, despite the crowd, his steps were heading straight towards you, with a confidence that made your pulse race.
"Hey," he said, smiling slightly. "I didn't think I'd find you here so early. How have you been?" His tone was warm, close, something different from the previous times.
“I'm… fine, I guess” you answered, trying to sound casual, although the closeness made you feel a mix of nervousness and curiosity. “I had to be here for Rolex. You know what this sponsorship thing is like.”
He nodded, and for a moment they remained silent, watching the hustle and bustle of preparations around them.
“I know things have been complicated for you lately” Max said, with a more serious tone than usual. “And I don't want to seem nosy, but… I haven't stopped thinking about what we talked about last time.”
The sincerity in his words threw you off a little. You had tried to stay distant, focus on yourself, and not think about everything you had experienced. But there was Max, with his penetrating gaze and his usual confidence, willing to open up in a way that you hadn't seen in him until now.
“I'm not here to pressure you” he continued, looking into your eyes. “I just wanted you to know that… I’m willing to fight for you, if you just give me a chance.”
His confession resonated with you, breaking the barrier you had built up over the past few weeks. You felt like it wasn’t just a passing statement; there was a depth to his words that made you doubt everything you had tried to rationalize. Deep down, something in you had been waiting to hear this, though you refused to admit it.
“Max…” you began, not knowing exactly how to express what you felt. “I don’t know if this is the right thing to do. After everything that’s happened, I’m not sure that getting more involved is the best thing for either of us.”
He nodded, listening to each word patiently.
“I know,” he replied. “But there’s something I’ve learned this season, and that is that important opportunities aren’t always the easiest ones. I’ve been avoiding speaking clearly to you because I didn’t want to make things more complicated for you. But if I’m honest, I can’t pretend that I don’t care about you.”
The seriousness in his eyes left you speechless. He wasn’t the usual Max, arrogant and competitive; he was someone vulnerable, showing a part of him that was rarely seen. And although a part of you wanted to keep putting up barriers, another, deeper part of you was starting to give in to his words and his sincerity.
You took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts.
“What happened with Lando was difficult… and I don’t want you to be just a distraction, Max.” It wouldn't be fair to either of you.
He took a step closer, not invading your personal space, but enough for you to feel his presence more intensely.
"I'm not someone who'll settle for being a distraction," he said with a slight smile, but his tone was firm. "What I feel for you is real. And if you give me the chance, I'm willing to show you that I'm someone you can trust."
His words enveloped you, making you feel a warmth and security that you hadn't experienced in a long time. The hardness of the breakup with Lando was still present, but Max's presence offered you an alternative, a chance to rediscover what you really wanted and, perhaps, to be happy in a fuller sense.
After a few seconds of silence, you took a breath, letting your own emotions take control.
"I don't know what will happen after all this..." you murmured, looking at the floor for a moment before looking up and meeting his gaze. "But I think I'm willing to see where this takes us."
The smile on his face was almost imperceptible, but his eyes shone with a mix of determination and tenderness.
“Then I’ll start showing it from now on,” he said, taking your hand gently. “I don’t want you to feel pressured, I just want you to know that I’m here for you. No matter how long it takes.”
After that brief exchange with Max, he said goodbye with a wink and walked away, leaving behind a feeling of anticipation that you couldn’t shake. You watched as he walked towards the Red Bull paddock, surrounded by his team, while you stood still for a moment, trying to clear your thoughts.
You decided it was time to move as well. You walked through the paddock area, the hustle and bustle around you. Drivers, engineers and journalists came and went, all focused on their own roles.
Suddenly, you saw him. Lando was up ahead, briefly chatting with one of the McLaren mechanics. He turned slightly, and for a moment, his eyes met yours. It was an instant, there was no smile, no nod of recognition, just eye contact that spoke of everything beneath the surface. He seemed distant, almost cold, and before you could say anything, he looked away and kept walking.
You stood still, feeling a knot form in your stomach. That small gesture, or lack thereof, hit you harder than you expected. You knew Lando was in his zone of concentration, but you couldn’t ignore the growing emotional distance that seemed to exist between you since you arrived in Qatar.
You took a deep breath and forced yourself to keep walking, telling yourself that you couldn’t read too much into a simple glance. But the awkwardness remained.
As you left the paddock area you went straight to the VIP area to watch the race. The race was certainly a spectacle from the start. Max started from pole, while Lando started from second position.
From the first lap, Max took the lead, controlling the pace with ruthless precision. Behind him, Lando followed closely, pushing at every opportunity. But as the laps progressed, it became clear that Red Bull had fine-tuned their car to perfection. Max seemed untouchable.
Lando, however, was not giving up. He kept fighting, looking for every millimetre of advantage, every opportunity to close the gap. Until lap 38 came around. It all happened in the blink of an eye. In the fast corner before the main straight, Lando's car lost grip. Perhaps a miscalculation or just bad luck, but the McLaren hit the wall with a sharp impact. The yellow flag waved immediately, and your heart skipped a beat.
From your spot, your eyes were fixed on the giant screen, watching anxiously. Lando got out of the car quickly, waving his hands to indicate that he was okay, but you could see the frustration in his every move. He was furious.
As the McLaren team scrambled to pick up the remains of the car, the race continued. Max continued to dominate, and with each lap, his victory became more inevitable. Finally, he crossed the finish line in first place, securing the race win. Fireworks lit up the sky, and the Red Bull team erupted in celebrations.
When it was all over, you headed towards the McLaren paddock, where you saw him surrounded by his team, his face grim and his brow furrowed. There was no trace of the carefree smile he normally wore.
As he spoke to his engineers, you locked eyes with him for a brief second. He looked exhausted, not just physically, but emotionally. But he didn't say anything, and neither did you. Without exchanging words, you turned around and began walking towards the exit.
The day had been intense, and you needed time to process it all. You took a cab back to your hotel, watching the city lights flicker through the window as you sank into your thoughts. Lando was fine physically, and that was the most important thing.
Once in your room, you kicked off your shoes and dropped into bed. The day had been a whirlwind of emotions: worry about Lando, what you had talked about with Max, and a growing confusion within yourself. You picked up your phone and left it on the nightstand. You didn't know whether to expect a text from Lando or Max. Or maybe neither.
You sighed and closed your eyes.
You had barely laid down when the glow of your phone illuminated the darkness of the room. For a moment, you thought it might be Lando, perhaps to talk about what happened at the race, but when you saw Max’s name on the screen, your heart skipped a little.
Max: “I hope you’re okay after all the drama today. Listen, I was thinking… I’m going home to Monaco to rest before the next season. How about you come with me? It’d be great to have you here.”
The message was direct and blunt, typical of Max. You stared at the screen, your fingers trembling slightly on the keyboard. The proposal took you by surprise, but at the same time, there was a part of you that had anticipated it.
You knew that accepting that invitation would involve much more than a simple vacation. It wasn't just the getaway to Monaco, it was everything that it meant: getting away from Lando once and for all from your own doubts, and facing the growing attraction you felt for Max.
You bit your lip, thinking of all the possible consequences. But then, your fingers began to move almost of their own volition.
You: "I don't know if it's a good idea, Max. This is all complicated."
It wasn't long before he responded.
Max: “Complicated? Maybe. But sometimes the complicated is the most exciting. You don't have to decide now. Think about it. I promise it will be an unforgettable trip."
You closed your eyes, trying to calm your heartbeat. The silence of the room surrounded you, but your thoughts were chaos. You could imagine Max in his suite, confident and relaxed, waiting for your answer as if he already knew what it would be.
Several hours passed, with the conversation on hold. Finally, you found yourself typing something you didn't think would come out of you.
You: "Okay. I'll go. But only because I need a break, and Monaco sounds like a good place to clear my mind."
His reply came almost instantly.
Max: "Yeah, sure, just for that, but perfect. You won't regret it. Let me know when you get there and I'll take care of everything.”
You stared at your phone after reading those words, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. You had made a decision that could change everything, and while a part of you was scared, another couldn't wait to see what that vacation would bring.
The day of your flight to Monaco came faster than you expected. You had been tossing and turning in bed all night, thinking about what this new stage meant. Max had been clear in his invitation, and although you were hesitant at first, you couldn't help but feel excited about the trip. What started as a simple getaway to relax had turned into an opportunity to get to know a different side of Max. A side that until now you had only seen from afar.
You took an early morning flight, without looking back. As the plane flew through the sky, you immersed yourself in thoughts about everything you had left behind.
You arrived in Monaco around afternoon, and the airport was full of tourists, celebrities, and important figures. The warm, salty Mediterranean air mixed with the hustle and bustle of the people, and you could feel the vibrant energy emanating from the city streets.
You picked up your suitcase and quickly headed to the car Max had arranged for you. You knew you couldn't miss a second of this glamorous city, and you felt a little nervous. What did Max expect from you? How would all this change after a few days in his company?
The car drove through the narrow, elegant streets of Monaco, passing by the famous casinos, luxury yachts, and hills overlooking the sea. The scenery was stunning, as always, but even more impressive was what you felt when you thought of Max waiting for you.
When you arrived at Max's residence, a luxurious apartment overlooking the port, a butler greeted you with a smile and led you to the door. The suite was everything you had imagined: modern, spacious, and with a stunning view of the sea and yachts. The decor was elegant but warm, with touches of wood and soft colors. It wasn't just any place; it was a place designed for someone like him, someone accustomed to perfection.
You left your suitcase on the bed and looked at the clock. You knew Max had to be nearby. Not even ten minutes had passed when you heard the door open. You turned around and there he was, Max, with his characteristic air of confidence, but with something different in his gaze. It was as if, for a moment, everything was just for the two of them.
"Do you like the place?" he asked, approaching with a smile on his face.
“It’s… amazing,” I replied, looking around, trying to hide how nervous I felt.
Max took a step towards you, his gaze locked on yours, and although he seemed relaxed, there was something about his posture that gave away his interest. There was a spark in his eyes, something that made your heart beat a little faster. He moved even closer, and before you could react, his hands rested on your waist.
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to come, but I’m glad you agreed,” he said quietly, almost as if he was reading your thoughts.
You were in the heart of Monaco, and although the surroundings were luxurious and surrounded by powerful people, all that really mattered at that moment was the silent connection you shared with Max.
“What do we do now?” you asked, the nervousness starting to dissipate a little.
“Whatever you want,” Max replied, with a mischievous smile. “But, if you ask me, I think we could start with dinner.”
Before you could say anything else, he took you by the hand and led you through the apartment, into the open kitchen.
Max’s kitchen was just as modern as the rest of the place, with white marble surfaces that reflected the warm light from the lamps. Max began pulling fresh ingredients out of the fridge, inviting you to join him without thinking twice. At first, you were hesitant, but something in his eyes invited you to stay.
“Do you know how to cook?” you asked as you watched him pull out tomatoes, basil, and olive oil.
Max smiled mischievously, a glint in his blue eyes. “I know a little. But only if you don’t mind getting your hands a little dirty.”
You laughed at the idea. “I’m not a chef, but I can try.”
And so, between laughs and small jokes, they began to prepare dinner together. Max had decided to make fresh pasta with homemade pesto, one of his favorite dishes. While he was busy with the pasta, you took care of the salad, chopping vegetables and arranging the ingredients carefully. It was a simple, but shared moment, and the dynamic between the two of you felt natural, as if you had been doing this for years.
As the preparation progressed, the distance between you disappeared. Max gently guided you, giving you instructions on how to handle the ingredients, his hands sometimes brushing yours as you passed utensils or adjusted something in the pot. The conversation flowed easily, and you realized that, without thinking about it, you felt more comfortable with him than you had ever imagined.
When the pasta was ready, Max served it elegantly on two large plates, and together you sat at the table, enjoying the view offered by the balcony as the sun began to set behind the hills. The golden light illuminated the room and reflected off the glass, creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere. The table was well set, but the conversation and proximity made everything seem much more intimate than it actually was.
“This is amazing,” you said, taking a bite of the pasta and nodding. “You surprise me.”
Max smiled, with a hint of pride. “I told you, I knew you’d appreciate it.”
The evening continued with laughter and anecdotes, talking about other things, about travel and what you liked to do in your free time. Max seemed genuinely interested in you, in your opinions, in what you thought about the small details of life. There was something so real and accessible about him at that moment, that you completely forgot the fact that, hours before, you had arrived in Monaco with a host of mixed emotions. Now, all that mattered was the present moment.
At the end of dinner, as the plates were empty and the wine glasses were slowly emptying, Max leaned slightly towards you, his gaze locked on yours. The room was quiet, the sound of the distant city, and for a second, it seemed like there were only the two of you left, sharing that space.
“You know?” he said, his voice soft, “I think this has been much better than any dinner I could have planned. I’m happy you came.”
You, without thinking too much about it, smiled and nodded. “I’m happy too. I didn’t imagine it would end like this.”
Max smiled again, and this time, the expression on his face was different. Softer, more approachable. It wasn’t just the confident, competitive Max from racing, but a version of him that seemed more vulnerable, more willing to share something more personal.
The chemistry between you was clear, and for the first time, you realized it wasn't just a superficial attraction. There was something much deeper, something you didn't know if it could be defined with words. But at that moment, there was no need. Being there, with Max, cooking, laughing, and sharing such a simple moment, was all you needed to know.
As the days passed in Monaco, the connection between you and Max became more and more evident.
Mornings were quiet, usually spent touring the city or relaxing on the terrace of his apartment while the sun slowly slipped over the horizon, tinting the sky in golden colors. Max was always around, whether it was to share a coffee in silence or to talk about what he was thinking for the next race. Often, their conversations were light, but there were times when, without warning, Max would drop a phrase or a confession that showed you a side of him you had never seen before.
One day, after lunch together, Max drove you through the mountains surrounding Monaco. As they drove along the winding roads, he began to talk, unprompted, about his life, about what it had taken to become who he was.
“My career isn’t just the podium, you know,” he said, looking out the window as the car moved down the road. “It’s everything I’ve had to leave behind: the parties, the relationships, the sacrifices… There are so many things people don’t see, so many difficult decisions.”
You looked at him with a mix of surprise and admiration. Max had never been a person who opened up easily, always so focused on his goal, so focused on winning and perfection. But now, he was speaking to you with brutal honesty, as if somehow, he had decided to share the deepest part of himself with you.
“I know,” you answered calmly, not knowing what else to say, but you looked at him with genuine understanding. “You’ve been at the center of all this since you were so young.” It’s not easy, and people often don’t understand what it entails.
Max nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on the landscape as the car continued on its way.
“That’s why it’s hard to trust people sometimes, you know?” he said, his voice laced with subtle melancholy. “Everyone expects something from you, and sometimes you don’t even know if people like you for who you are, or for what you represent.”
A wave of empathy washed over you. Max had lived a life full of expectations, external pressures, pain, and it wasn’t hard to see how all of that had made him close some emotional doors. But in that moment, it seemed like you had somehow entered his inner circle. You had gotten him to open up, to share something so personal.
What surprised you the most was the way he understood you. It wasn’t just that Max listened to you; he understood you. In every conversation, in every gesture, there was something about him that seemed to sense what you felt, what you needed without you having to explain it with words. He wasn’t like Lando, who, although he had always been affectionate, had never shown that level of deep understanding. Lando had his own way of seeing things, but in his words there was never a place for your dreams or your insecurities. With Max, everything was different.
Max also began to talk about his long-term ambitions, about what he wanted outside of the race track, things that weren’t just achievements, medals or trophies. He told you about his love for family, his desire to form one.
Sometimes, you found yourself watching him as he spoke, unable to help but feel drawn not only to his appearance, but to the vulnerability he had begun to show. This was a different Max, a Max who asked for your opinion and valued what you said, and although he could be competitive and stubborn at times, there was something in his gaze that made you feel important.
And you, of course, couldn't help but share your own thoughts with him. At first, you thought it would be hard for you to open up so much to someone, but with him, everything flowed. You felt free to talk about your goals, about fashion, about your own fears, about your insecurities. Max supported you at all times, without judging or pressuring you, just giving you his unconditional support. The way he looked at you while you talked made you feel like, for the first time, someone really understood you.
That connection was getting stronger, getting more and more impossible to ignore. And you knew, even though you tried to stay rational, that something was changing between the two of you. It wasn't just the chemistry, it wasn't just the shared smiles or the jokes, it was something deeper. Max was becoming someone more than just the Formula 1 driver you admired from afar. And you... you were starting to have feelings for him.
As the days went by and you shared more moments together, from impromptu dinners to walks around the harbor, you realized that Max was showing you a side of him that few knew about, and that side was winning you over in a way you couldn't control. It was such a stark contrast to the relationship you had with Lando, because with him, everything had always been more superficial, more loaded with expectations of what a relationship should be.
With Max, things seemed more real, more natural. And even though you didn't know how he felt exactly, you couldn't help but feel that this moment you shared was something unique.
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The air in Monaco felt heavier that day, as if the sun was shining brighter as you walked through the city with Max by your side, enjoying the scenery, but at the same time with a feeling of unease in your chest. Max, noticing your change in mood, looked at you with slight concern.
“Everything okay?” he asked, his voice soft, but with the clarity of someone who knew something wasn’t right.
You nodded, trying not to give too much importance to the whirlwind of thoughts forming in your head. You had been dealing with this silently for days, but now, while you were with Max, the doubts and feelings couldn’t be left behind. You decided it was time to face it, even though you didn’t know how he would react.
Just a few minutes later, your phone vibrated in your pocket, interrupting the peaceful walk. Looking at the screen, you saw Lando’s name and felt a pang in your stomach. With your pulse racing, you decided to open the message.
Lando: “I miss you. “I want to go back, I want things to be okay between us.”
A lump formed in your throat as you read the words. You knew he had been trying to reach you, that he still held out hope that things could be like they were before, but something inside you told you it was time to let him go. You knew you couldn’t keep fooling yourself, or Lando, or Max. Everyone’s paths had changed, and even though you had loved Lando at one time, everything seemed different now. The connection with Max was something you couldn’t ignore, a truth that had been growing between you and you could no longer deny it.
With shaking hands, you began typing out your reply. You didn’t want to do it over text, but at the same time, you knew it was the most direct and honest thing to do.
You: “Lando, I appreciate you so much, but we both know our lives are taking different paths. I don’t feel the same way I used to anymore. I’m spending time with Max now… things have changed, and I can’t move on with us. You know what you did and I did it to him.”
The phone stayed in your hands for a second, your heart pounding, and before you could regret it, you hit “send.” The relief was immediate, but it was also accompanied by a soft pain, like a wound that had been slowly closing, but was still bleeding.
It wasn’t even ten minutes before Lando replied to you. The tone of his text was clear: he was hurt, frustrated, and angry.
Lando: “So you’re with Max now, huh? I can’t believe it. I knew something was going on between you two, but this… This doesn’t just hurt me, it’s going to affect our image too. You’re breaking everything we built, everything we had.”
You read those words, and even though they hurt, you knew it was the right thing to do. You knew you couldn’t continue in something that no longer had a foundation, something that had worn away inside. But Lando’s words pierced you like an arrow, and in that moment, you knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Breaking up with him didn’t just mean letting go of a relationship, but also dealing with the consequences of the decisions you had made.
You took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, and with a firm voice, you answered, knowing that there could be no turning back.
You: “Don't blame me, you were the one who slept with another woman and let the paparazzi catch you. This is the best for both of us, we no longer love each other like we once did.”
As soon as you sent the message, the tension in the air increased. Max, who had been by your side all this time, watched your face with an expression that seemed to understand what had just happened, although without saying a word.
Lando quickly responded, this time with more anger and resentment.
Lando: “You're going to see what's going to happen now. You know that this relationship has given us both so much, but it seems that it means nothing to you. You've left me in the lurch, and now I'm forced to deal with the public image of all this, with everything we've built, just because of one bad decision. Don't call me ever again.”
His final message hit you harder than you expected. It was final closure, and even though deep down you knew you had done the right thing, a part of you felt the weight of the words he had just written. You couldn’t deny that things between you and Lando had changed, but the fury in his message made it clear to you that, at that moment, he couldn’t understand your decision.
Max, seeing that you were tense from the answer, put a hand on your shoulder, trying to comfort you.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, “but you had no other choice. You deserve to be happy, and if that means moving on, then that’s what you have to do.”
You turned to him, grateful for his words. His understanding, his calm, was in complete contrast to the intensity of what you had just been through. Deep down in your heart you prayed that Lando wouldn’t do anything but you knew him, you knew how he got when he was angry and you were prepared to read your name and Max’s on the internet the next morning.
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sourbinnie ¡ 1 year ago
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☆ regrets & replacements ☆ (2)
♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst with a hopeful ending ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> hyung line!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> it's not about making up, it's about owning up to your mistakes. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!
a/n -> BEFORE YOU READ ; if you're expecting an angsty ending, this is not gonna please you but if you expected everything to be happy and good in the end, this isn't for you either. i really did try to write a part where they fully make up and i couldn't do it. i don't even if it's my angsty side kicking in or if it's just instinct where i just don't find it possible for that to happen. i also didn't feel like giving in and making it sad as hell because i got requested to do something happy and i'm sorry if i disappointed that person. i literally couldn't do it:( and i'm really sad with myself about this one, i would say this is a neutral ending and i'm gonna leave it at that.
first part -> hyung line
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chan ✉
waking up with no chan next to you was rare. your birthday was gone now but not your feelings and that sucked because that meant you would have to talk to chan about what happened. you didn't feel bad about not explaining it to him, you kinda hoped he already realized his mistake but even if he did it wouldn't change the course of things right now.
as you got up and walked to your living room, you saw the never ending pile of gifts. the flowers, the cake, the different things the boys got you and of course your boyfriend chan. he looked tired as hell, bags under his eyes and just overall the energy he usually had wasn't there. he looked at you and sighed when he saw the the reddish eyes from crying but he still had hope in him.
"you know getting me stuff won't make me forgive you that easily channie." you said and chan nodded as he heard your words. he wasn't doing this to earn your forgiveness, he knew he didn't deserve that in the end. but he still wanted you to have a birthday, even if the day had gone by, you deserved a celebration and he would leave if you asked him to because he just respected you that much.
"this isn't for you to forgive me even if i am so fucking sorry. this is because you deserved a good day yesterday and because your boyfriend's an idiot, he ruined that." he muttered and it was your time to nod as you listened to him. there was no easy way to forgive him really because what he did hurt you so deeply and this was beyond just forgetting.
"why did you do that chan? i mean i don't really expect you to always remember my birthday but i wasn't expecting to find out that you spend it with someone who deeply hates me." you explained and felt like you were going to cry again thinking about it. it wasn't fair to you and chan knew better than that, he didn't want to push it but he did want to fix things. losing you was not in his mind right now, he needed to make things right.
"when soohee called me yesterday i left without a comment because i truly was worried that something happened to her. it turned out she broke up with her boyfriend and whatever, begged me to stay with her and everything just went by so fucking fast. i didn't notice anything and i just-." he had to cut himself off because he knew he was rambling and he was desperate to make things okay but he was feeling so broken. thinking about you being all alone and waiting for him to come back was probably gonna haunt him and that made the tears build up in his eyes. "i know i don't deserve it (y/n) but please let me make it right."
you looked at him as you took in everything. you wanted to believe him because you knew chan and you knew how kind hearted he was when it came to his friends. you saw how he realized that soohee wasn't who he thought she was and it's hard losing a friend, you hated that this was all happening and felt absolutely betrayed but you were not heartless and chan crying always made you feel the worst way.
"channie, i don't know if i'm gonna be able to forgive you right now. but i would really like to spend the day with you because i missed you so much yesterday." you said and he could feel himself crying more but understanding. he was so scared that this was gonna be the end but he was given another chance. you got close to him and as soon as you were next to him, he wrapped his arms around you.
"i'll make it right, i promise." he mumbled through tears and you really hoped he would. drying the tears from his face with your thumb as you gave him a little kiss on the lips and he smiled again. it wasn't quite alright yet but the wound would heal eventually.
minho ✉
you knew it wasn't gonna be easy to go through the night all by yourself. of course you had your friends there but usually having minho by your side made things easier. jisung stayed by your side, disappointed in his friend and sad to witness the falling out but he was rooting for him to show up and make things right. the night was still young and he had been texting minho to come over even if you told him not to. jisung knew better though, he could read you and your eyes were always at the door.
when minho arrived at the place, he sighed deeply and prayed that he could fix this. the boys greeted him but jisung had a look on his face of "make this right" and it was scary. he wasn't the type to be afraid but if he did lose you today, that would be his biggest fear coming true and he didn't know what he would do without you.
he saw you looking as beautiful as ever out on the balcony. he had you all alone, he needed to talk and he needed to choose his words carefully before thinking of the worst.
"minho? i told you not to show up." you said but you didn't sound confident in your words. he could tell there was a mix of anger and sadness in your tone and it was all because of him, this wasn't going to be easy.
"i could not miss my partner's birthday even if i screwed up everything." he said and looked at you. you weren't even looking in his direction but he was captured by your beauty every time he glanced at you and it was beyond your outfit and how you did your hair. he got so lucky with you and knowing that this could be the last night he saw you would kill him slowly. "i can't lose you (y/n) and i know everything's beyond wrong right now but i just need you."
"i didn't feel bad that you forgot or even that you were with her of all people. but you lied to me and we've never had an instance where i felt like things were beyond repair but right now i just don't know what to say minho." you said and you didn't want to cry right now but it was all too much. he felt like crying himself as he saw those spill from your eyes because like you said, there wasn't a situation that you lived before where you guys wouldn't make up and he felt you slipping away from him.
"don't say that, i don't deserve you and i should've remembered in the first place. i choose someone who doesn't understand that i met the love of my life already and that i'm not gonna give up on them. i won't put you second ever again (y/n) and i know you probably won't believe me right now but i truly do mean it." he said confidently and you looked at him, meeting his honest eyes. "i lied i know and i thought i was making things better by keeping soohee away from everyone. i cut her off and i know i should've done it sooner."
you took his hand in yours as you looked down. he knew you did this when you were nervous, when you needed to hold or do something to distract you so he just let you. 
"i can't forgive you even if i want to because all i wanted was for you to show up and explain yourself." you said and it warmed his heart. even if he let you down, you always believed in him and will always wait for him. "minho i love you, would you give me time?"
"all the time you need, i'll be here waiting for you as long as it takes." he responded and even if it hurt that things went so wrong, there was a glimpse of hope in the end. "i love you more (y/n)." he then said and you kissed his cheek as you headed inside. 
changbin ✉
waking up to someone yelling over the phone wasn't really what you had in mind. you went to the living room where all the noise was coming from and you saw changbin looking as tired as he could be. you really didn't expect for him to stay in your apartment and for him to be mad was rare. 
"changbin what's going on?" you asked genuinely concerned because even if all the events from yesterday were on your mind, you cared too much about him to not be there if he needed you. on the other hand, changbin couldn't take that you still were looking at him with caring eyes, he deserved to be yelled at and deserved to be kicked out.
"i'm cutting someone out of my life and they didn't make it easy. as soon as they started insulting you, i had to say some things that were not quite nice but i don't regret it." he responded and you could imagine who he was talking about. it still surprised you that he did that because even if you hated her, you knew that changbin in the end cared about her but from how angry he was you could see there was no going back.
"you didn't have to do that changbin." you muttered and he was so sad to hear that, not because of soohee and cutting off their "friendship" but because you genuinely thought he shouldn't have defended you. "i mean it's not like you didn't go there yesterday and spent all day with her when she needed you."
"stop that right now. first of all, i know what i did and i'm always gonna be fucking sorry about not being here with you, celebrating your day and choosing someone who clearly wanted this to happen all along." changbin said and you were glad he was now finally realizing but you also felt like it was too late. "but i'm not gonna hear you say that you don't want me to defend you because i'm always gonna be choosing you even if you want me to go right now, you will always be the one for me. i'm genuinely serious (y/n), i don't want soohee and i'm never gonna want her because i am in love with you."
"and i'm always gonna be in love with you but it doesn't change the fact that you hurt me." you said and he nodded now getting what you meant and how you felt. there might no be going back from this one and he just wanted to disappear right then and there. 
"tell me what i can do to fix this. i'll do anything you want me to because i swear i can't live without you." he begged basically and you could hear his voice getting higher pitched. it wasn't common for him to cry and if you saw him cry, you would end up crying as well.
"binnie i don't know. this is not the end and i don't want you to leave, can we pretend for a while that yesterday didn't happen?" you said and he looks at you. his eyes filled with tears but he still finds the strength to hold on to you and give you a hug. you felt like you needed to be in his arms, maybe even more so yesterday than today but right now is all you have and your birthday is long gone.
"i will make it up to you, i swear i will." he whispered as he kissed your forehead. you let the tears go, staining his shirt but he didn't care as long as he had you in his arms where you belonged. 
hyunjin ✉
to your dismay and your surprise at the same time, he was knocking at your door an hour later. you knew it was him, he had been spamming your phone ever since you left the building but you couldn't even respond from how disappointed you were. even now you were doubting if you should open the door or leave him knocking all night but you couldn't do that without a neighbor complaining so you decided to head to the entrance and open the door.
"i told you not to come. go back to soohee or whatever you had in mind for today." you said and you wanted to close the door again but he stopped you before you could do it. you looked as he walked into your apartment and took in his appearance. he looked like he almost ripped his hair out and like he had been crying, so pretty much like you did right now.
"i don't even know where to start." he said pacing back and forth and as much as you wanted to hate him, you grabbed his hand and sat down with him before he kept spinning around your apartment. that action alone was enough to calm him down but the glare you were giving him was making him doubt himself all over again. "the only thing i have in mind right now is the fact that i don't want to lose you because i was so fucking stupid."
"you were and i truly don't know how you're gonna get out of this one jinnie. this is beyond it being my birthday just why? why didn't you pick up? why did you show up with her? why didn't you defend me? i feel so stupid." you expressed and the tears were rolling again but so were hyunjin's because he could not stand seeing you cry. you didn't have to feel stupid, he was the stupid one and the one that messed everything up on a special day.
"i didn't pick up because she kept telling me that it was an unknown number calling and hanged it up for me. i showed up with her because she told me she would help me pick up your present at the end of practice and i didn't defend you because i truly wasn't expecting her to say that. i thought she was my friend and i thought she cared about me but i had to kick her out as soon as i saw it all go down." he said in between tears and rambles. you didn't want him to justify himself or his actions but it was nice hearing his side even if you were still very much hurt by everything that happened. 
"hyunjin i always told you how i don't want to interfere in your friendships but she has always hated me and you put her first." you said and he nodded, he was already accepting defeat because he truly did fuck it up this time. you pushed the tears away because you didn't feel like crying anymore and yet they wouldn't stop. 
"i'll leave, you don't deserve to spend the rest of your birthday with someone who did you wrong." he said and even in all this pain, it still hurt when hyunjin didn't fight it anymore. there was a point in all the fights that you've had where he gave up because he could not take in your anger or your sadness, he just wanted to see you smile again. right now he felt like he was holding back what could be a good day for you because it was still your birthday after all and he didn't want to ruin it anymore.
"hyunjin, stay. i can't say that i'm past it yet but i just wanna be with you right now even after all that happened, i just don't see myself going out celebrating if it's not with you by my side." you said, giving him a little smile through all the tears. he got closer to you as he placed a kiss on your lips which you responded to, the most hurtful one you shared yet.
"i'll stay for as long as you want me to and i'll leave if you need me to." he whispered and you nodded because everything was hurting but his words would always find a way to your heart. his hand on your cheek as he caressed it slowly and you met for another kiss.
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stayevildarling ¡ 1 month ago
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Hii ! I hope you’re having a good day/night !
I would like to request something with Emily Prentiss, in which R has her period and is struggling with cramps ? Maybe something like Emily coming home excited, because she and R decided to prepare together to go on a date. Only for emily to find R in bed and comfort her because R feels sad she can’t go to the date. Something full of fluff please 🥹🙏
Don’t feel obligated to do it ! That’s ok if you don’t want to write it 💗 (sorry if there are any mistakes english isn’t my native tongue)
Emily Prentiss x Reader- Red days, soft nights
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A/N: Hi lovely🤍 thank you so much for requesting this! Pls don‘t worry about that at all, your english sounds perfect! and I hope you enjoy this
tags/tw: established relationship, mention of periods, mention of blood, mention of pain medication, fluff/comfort
word count: 2k
taglist:
@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay , @blu3dimples
As soon as you hear the sound of the front door opening and closing, watching as Sergio excitedly hops off the bed beside you and leave, tears begin swelling in your eyes. You had been so excited, Emily finally getting a weekend off to spend it with you and the two of you deciding to get ready together once she gets home and go on a date night. It was Emily‘s idea and you had been excited all week, giggling and jumping up and down happily whenever she mentioned it. You decided to go full out for this one, purchasing a new outfit and some special underwear just for Emily as well as a new perfume.
But the day began horribly, as soon as you woke up, you could feel it already, storming to the bathroom only to realize you had started your period. Sighing, you stepped into the shower in order to clean yourself up, changing into some comfortable clothes and taking care of the bedding as Emily had left for work hours before. You initially thought you could still go, a little disappointed about the underwear part of your plan for this date but wanting to also just spend time with Emily. But throughout the day, the cramps slowly sneaked into your bones, causing your back and stomach to severely hurt, shooting pains into your legs and back.
You had tried painkillers, some tea and a hot water bottle but nothing seems to work and so all you have managed to do for the past few hours is lay in bed, tears occasionally filling your vision at the thought of date night and how you were going to ruin it. A small part of you even hoped that Emily may be caught longer at work, like the many times it had happened before but unfortunately she was home, even much earlier than usual. She wastes no time, greeting Sergio before setting her bag down and trying to find you. Her eyebrows furrow when she doesn‘t find you in the living room or kitchen, even checking the bathroom. Sergio leads the way to the bedroom and she frowns when finding you in bed, at first assuming you are simply having a nap before she hears soft crying coming from afar.
„Darling?“ she tries softly as she moves to where you are laying, moving the blanket in order to get a better look at you, only to find your crying state, the tears flowing and your chin wobbling. „Hey, what happened?“ she coos, unable to understand what upset you so much as you had been so excited the last few days. You simply burry yourself further into the pillows and blankets, feeling ashamed and embarrassed despite sharing everything with your girlfriend, Emily always making you feel safe and cared for and never judging you for anything, ever.
„Nuh uh“ she tuts, moving the blanket away from your face yet again. „None of that sweetheart, what‘s going on?“ she asks, her features tense as she hates seeing you in any type of discomfort, especially hating when you are crying as she wanted to do nothing more than punish the universe for whatever it did to upset you. „I‘m so sorry Em“ you begin, the tears flowing freely down your cheeks. „I started my period“ you confess, holding onto your stomach as more cramps take over your body. „I was so excited and I‘m so sorry for ruining everything“ you begin crying harder.
Your girlfriend frowns, both for seeing you feeling so terrible but at the same time that you are feeling bad and guilty about it. „Let me in“ she orders and you obey, making some room before she scoops you into her arms, leaning against the bed as she holds you against her chest. „Darling, you haven‘t ruined anything“ she assures but you pout then. „But I was so excited“ you protest and she kisses your forehead before whispering „Me too darling but we‘ll simply postpone this, that‘s all“ she promises and you nod weakly before she wipes your tears. She holds you for a while, her hands gently tracing patterns on your stomach, hoping she could give you at least some comfort, knowing how much you struggled with your periods and how painful they are at times, completely knocking you out.
„Now sweetie, I‘m gonna run you a bath, okay?“ she offers and you nod again before she kisses your cheek, making sure she has wiped all of your tears before getting up. She disappears for a few minutes, running you a warm bath, getting you some towels and something comfortable to wear. When she returns, she takes your hand and leads you into the bathroom. You gasp a little as you see the bubble bath, the candles she had lit and how special it looks with the dim lights. „Thank you“ you pout, still feeling bad for how this night was supposed to go. „You‘re welcome darling, now take all the time you need and I‘ll be right here when you finish“ she promises before kissing your forehead.
As you slowly undress and settle in the warm bath, your muscles and painful bones finally soothe a little, Emily wastes no time to prepare what she had thought of upon coming home and seeing your disappointment. About ten minutes after you settle in the bath, she knocks gently and you allow her to come in as she sets some tea down for you, asking if there is anything you need but you politely decline. She leaves you again, carrying on with her preparations before waiting for you. It doesn‘t take too long before you walk out the bath, in some of the comfortable pyjamas she had picked out for you.
Stepping into the dining room, your eyes well up with tears a little as you find Emily sitting by the dining table, your favorite takeaway waiting for you, as well as countless candles and some wine, making the atmosphere nothing but beautiful and intimate. „Emily“ you pout, feeling bad she went through all that trouble after working all day. The tears remain lingering in your eyes, feeling so drawn to your girlfriend of many years in this moment. „Come here angel“ she coos and you comply, wasting no time before practically jumping on her lap, wrapping your arms around her before nestling yourself in her neck. „Thank you“ you whisper, the tears slowly streaming down your cheeks. ,,Anything for you darling'' she smiles before holding you for a moment longer, before you go back to your own seat opposite her.
The two of you fall into easy conversation as you ask about her day, checking in on the case she had told you about, not detailed of course for your own protection and the usual office gossip. And for a while, it feels normal, the soft glow of the candles, the wine and food making you feel like you are on the date just like you initially planned and a part of you prefered the intimacy of this, not having any other people around, giving you freedom to hold hands, to lock eyes and smile at each other lovingly, as well as you occasionally stealing onto your girlfriends lap as she feeds you your favourite desert, telling you just how much she loves you while plastering your face in kisses.
,,What do you feel like darling?'' Emily asks softly as you sit by kitchen island, watching as she finishes the dishes, her insisting on you resting while she takes care of it. ,,Movie, cuddles?'' she suggests and you smile before your puppy eyes meet hers and whispering ,,Both?'' with a sheepish smile. She nods lovingly, before taking you over to the TV, giving you the remote and telling you to choose one of your comfort movies while she gets changed. She returns moments later, with enough tea, candy and ice cream to last for an eternity, as well as another heating pad. You frown again, her kindness taking your breath away and at the same time making you feel guilty.
,,I feel bad Em'' you frown, as she sits down beside you, pulling your head into her lap so she can give you some head scratches. ,,Why?'' she asks as she locks eyes with you. ,,Because I wanted to do something special for you, I even bought a dress and some new lingerie and this ended being you doing everything for me'' you sigh, missing the little smirk on her lips upon hearing your statement. ,,Angel listen to me, you aren't feeling well and I much prefered this quiet date night with you but I promise I will take next weekend off too and you can show me that little dress and the other things you bought'' she smirks, causing your cheeks to blush a little before you nod.
She pulls you a little closer, her warmth soothing and making your heart feel warm and content, so happy that Emily was yours and you could call yourself hers. Since your bath, the pains had mostly stopped, still uncomfortable and lingering in the background but with Emily by your side you can get even through the worst of it. Sergio makes an appearance moments later, snuggling up to the empty spot beside Emily, causing you both to chuckle as she gives him some scratches too. ,,Now, what did you choose darling?'' she asks and you side eye her before beginning to play your favourite movie.
It takes her moments to put the pieces together before she protests ,,Mamma Mia? oh come on not again'' she sighs and you can't help but chuckle. ,,Come on pwease, I love listening to you sing'' you puppy eye her and she nods, her features utterly serious despite you knowing this amused her. She showed the same reaction every time upon you playing the movie but by song two Emily was all in, singing her lungs out. By song five she would usually dance in front of the TV, taking your hands and dancing beside you. The two of you lay in each other's embrace, Emily occasionally feeding you some candy, her hand lingering on your stomach and rubbing little circles on it, making you feel warm, comfortable and safe.
,,Emily?'' you ask and her attention shifts from the movie to you as her eyes lock with your own yet again. ,,I love you'' you admit and you watch as her whole features light up and she gives you a warm loving smile. ,,I love you too sweetheart'' she confesses, catching your lips in a kiss before she instinctively pulls you a little closer. And you knew despite the red days, the ruined date that you had looked forward to, Emily was always there, turning even the most painful days into the most softest nights, as in a little while her singing would fill the apartment, making you chuckle, feeding each other ice cream while locking eyes and holding each through the night. And Emily would never have it any other way.
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papaya-twinks ¡ 5 months ago
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It's me again (the anon who asked for the Short fic of Lando) 🤠🤠🤠
I'll identify myself as Lia (I don't post openly because I'm embarrassed, but I already consider us great friends ❤️ haha)
About a sequel to this story, I can only say "YES PLEASE" (I would ask anyway 😂)
I was thinking that for the reader's first victory, Lando would be amazed by her beauty on the podium, after taking a champagne bath, her golden glow after the victory etc. And that will make him crazy and very horny for the reader. However, our reader is keen to play with Lando. she will "run away" from him all day claiming to have meetings with the team after the race and at night, despite them being together at the same party, she makes a point of not talking to him and always being involved in a group with more than one person so he can't talk dirty to her or something.
This makes Lando even more thirsty for her but they only manage to have a moment alone in the elevator, returning to the hotel room. Lando wants to punish (not with violence) her and please her at the same time for being so stubborn during the day and so beautiful and seductive, so he gives the reader multiple orgasms with his fingers and mouth. The reader even thinks that she won't be able to get to the part where he uses his member, but she does, and OMG it's the best sexual experience of her life.
That's what I thought for a second part 🤭. I apologize for the length of the text and for any mistakes, I'm Brazilian and not very good with English. (Feel free to change anything if you're not comfortable writing about something I sent).
Eagerly awaiting the continuation 🫶🏻✨
Warnings: Smut, 18+, teasing, kinda breeding
Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader
A/N - firstly I don’t judge requests <3, but also, I’ve heard of someone else on here called Lia. Are you alright with messaging me or something? Also making part 2
Lando’s words rang out in your ears for ages afterwards. What happens after you win a race. It was like motivation, a fuel of some sorts, driving you forwards to win. Which is exactly what you did the following week. “And Y/N Y/L/N has won her first Grand Prix here in Canada!” the commentator yelled as you screamed and cheered through the radio. 
As you thanked the team, all you could think about were Lando’s words. “Wow, Y/N,” the interviewer smiled, “what a victory! So close to Lando,”. You smiled at the words, “Yeah, Lando was really close, it was hard keeping him off,” you laughed, “but yeah, a win’s a win,”. Lando congratulated, evidently impressed, his hug lingering a little longer than usual. 
“And in first, Y/N Y/L/N!” you ran onto the podium, beaming as you locked eyes with Lando on his second place step. “Well done,” he whispered as the anthems begun. You held the trophy aloft, Lando’s eyes tracing your movements like his life depended on it, his own trophy limo at his side as he watched you. And the podium music began, Lando was his signature bottle slam, as he immediately sent the spray to you. 
You shrieked, feeling the bubbly liquid coat you, your skin radiating with the golden glow. Lando had to physically restrain himself from falling to his knees right then. You were gorgeous. Oh what he’d give to just bend you over right then and there. “Remember our promise?” he said, subtly whispering into your ear as you took the podium picture. “Might do,” you shrugged, a small smile on your face. 
“Team debrief,” you said, following the man who collected the trophy as Lando watched you, disappointment etched on his face. “After,” he said. And when the debrief finished, you told him you had another PR meeting. “Done, finally?” Lando asked, seeing you emerge from your motorhome.  “Mhm,” you nodded, pressing a kiss to his neck, “oh, wait, I have another meeting,” you said, blinking innocently at him as he groaned 
“You’re doing it on purpose,” Lando grabbed your arm to stop you from walking away, “you’re being a brat on purpose,”. You looked at him, as if you didn’t know what he was talking about. “Don’t give me that,” he said, eyebrow raised at your expression. “And here I am, trying to reward you for winning. Now you’re gonna get punished,” your eyes widened at his words as he took your hand, pushing you back into your room. 
Any of the real meetings you genuinely had were gonna be missed. 
“Lando,” you gasped as he tugged at your team shirt, clawing it off your chest, your baggy trousers coming off with it. “What?” he said, eyebrow raised as he pushed you against the wall, his hand twisting the lock of the door. “Fuck,” you gasped as he nipped at your neck and collarbone. “Feel good?” he asked, lifting your legs up, onto his waist, his hands firmly on you ass. 
Your lips met, a warm, passionate kiss filled with lust and desire, as he moved one hand to your hair, the other one tugging your panties down. “Fuck” he pushed you onto the bed, “you’re soaking, y’know?”. You couldn’t help the whine that left your lips as he threw your legs onto his shoulders, your hands tugging at his curls as his mouth came to your folds. 
“Oh fuck,” you moaned, his lips pressing featherlight kisses to your pussy, your wrists in his hand, your breast in his other. “Lando feels s’good,” you gasped, tugging at his locks, your hips pressing against him as he groaned, pushing you down. He moved his hand down to your stomach, holding you down, his mouth staying on you as you wriggled. “Fuck, Lando!” you shrieked, your orgasm was like heaven. 
He moved away from your core, his wet, warm lips trailing up your abdomen, his lashes clinging together with your wetness. “Feel good, doesn’t it?” he asked, your body shaking a bit from your high, “Doesn’t it?” he asked again, voice more demanding. You nodded, a small whimper leaving your lips as he took one of you tits into your mouth, swirling his tongue round the sensitive bud. “Lando, fuck” you gasped, his finger running through your folds again. 
Oh he meant punishment. You moaned again as his finger pushed into you, your hips bucking into him, his lips still sucking. “Lando don’t stop,” you rolled your hips against his hand as he pushed his middle finger in, curling inside of you as gasped, the sensation was heavenly. “Oh god, fuck,” you felt another high coming up. 
Your eyes rolled at the sensations, cheeks fiery red as you moaned - at this rate, you wouldn’t be able to take his actual dick. “Lando, Lan…” your voice trailed off, filtering into mewls and moans as you felt another orgasm wash over you. “So good f’me,” Lando mumbled, pulling you onto his lap, your body tired against his, “looked so good on the podium, y’know?” he cooed, pulling his own joggers down. 
One hand pumped his length, the other with his fingers deep inside of you, pumping slowly. “Gonna give me one more, okay?” he asked, lifting you up, before letting you sink onto his cock. “So fucking tight, Y/N, always so tight f’me,” he groaned, bouncing you softly on his lap, his hand coming to circle your clit. 
You were already sensitive from your last two orgasms, the knot building up quicker…faster, as his pace deepened. “Lando, Lando, I’m close,” you whined, your head on his shoulder as he bounced you. “That’s it, yeah? Cum for me,” he whispered in your ear, one hand dangling in your hair. “One more, okay?” Lando said, still bouncing you gently. 
You moaned again as he didn’t stop, your body tightening round his as he groaned. “Fuck, Y/N, gonna cum in you,” he mumbled, “gonna fill you up good,”. His words were what sent you over the edge, his thrusts becoming sloppier as he rode out your high for you, before he followed. “Oh fuck, Y/N,” he groaned as you tightened round him, your body against his chest. 
“So tight, fuck,” he gasped, “gonna fill you up, fill you right up,”. You felt his warm, hot cum shoot in this ropes inside of you, his head thrown back, resting his weight on his arms, which were shaking, his eyes squeezed shut as he rode out his high. “Mmm fuck,” you groaned, eyes shut again. “Feels s’good,” you whined. “I know,” he said, a kiss to your cheek. 
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pumpkinpaix ¡ 1 year ago
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Regarding #EndOTWRacism’s summaries of 2023 OTW Board election candidate positions
Before I begin, let me say now that while I am a volunteer with the OTW, my views are personal and should not be taken as any kind of official statement from the org, its leadership, or other volunteers, especially not the candidates in question. My focus here is on the Asian candidates for obvious reasons, but this post is not meant as endorsement or disavowal of any of the candidates, whose bios and platforms can all be read here.
Do not take this as an excuse harass the mods running EOTWR. I cannot make myself clearer.
--
I am making this post to express my extreme disappointment with End OTW Racism’s post purporting to summarize the platforms of the candidates for the upcoming Board elections. It is no longer rebloggable, but can be read here.
The way that the candidates with Asian names were spoken of is deeply insulting when compared with how candidates with English-language names were discussed. Asian candidates had their platforms misrepresented, their expertise downplayed, and their lived experiences reduced down to “bringing an international presence” to the board, which was then further caveated with, “diversity alone is not going to solve the issue of racist harassment currently allowed in the OTW’s policies and enforcement practice”. While it is true that diversity alone is not a solution, it’s pretty offensive to essentially have “remember! Just because they aren’t white doesn’t mean you should vote for them!” tacked on to one of the Asian candidates’ platforms. 
End OTW Racism seems more concerned with whether or not candidates used the buzzwords they wanted to hear rather than with how racism is discussed holistically within the statements. While I can appreciate that EOTWR has a specific agenda, to say things like, “[s]he does not mention racism, racist harassment, or hiring a DEI consultant in her platform, so outside the outreach and support she mentions, there is not enough for us to conclude that these would be priorities for her” regarding Zixin Z.’s position, directly following the statement, “[s]he also mentions the need for outreach towards non-English-speaking fans and has a desire to provide support to volunteers from minority groups” is fucking laughable, especially after the initial mistake of stating that Zixin Z. only wanted to do more outreach to Chinese-speaking fans. Again, I understand that people make mistakes and that this mistake has since been corrected, but I hope it prompts some reflection on the sort of biases that would lead to such a mistake in the first place. It may have been completely innocuous, but in charged discussions about racism, please understand that it gives an impression that is difficult to shake. I do thank you for not trying to hide that this happened. 
Why is Anh P.’s lack of discussion on TOS/PAC a point against her, while Zixin Z.’s years of experience on PAC, her role as a mod on Weibo, and her background in nonprofits don’t even warrant a mention? For that matter, why did none of the Asian candidates’ skills or experience warrant mention? Qiao C. and Zixin Z. have both been volunteers with the organization for several years now, and Anh P. has years of moderation and volunteer experience elsewhere prior to her work with the OTW.
It is so fucking frustrating that despite each one of these candidates specifically talking about the need for diverse voices, they had their platforms essentially passed over because they didn’t use the right words, and it is particularly fucking aggravating to see that EOTWR will use Chinese issues as props when trying to press OTW leadership on the racism that occurs within the org, but then completely fail to connect the dots on why these candidates are running because the wrong language was used. Zixin Z. is one of the Weibo mods, for fuck’s sake. 
The entire post feels like an exercise in virtue signalling, from every time it was brought up that a candidate did not provide pronouns in their platform statements, despite every one of them having pronouns provided in their bios (why mention this detail at all? You could have simply used the pronouns), to what felt like willful obliviousness to the anti-racism stances in the Asian candidates’ platforms. It feels like the concern starts and ends with racism in Anglophone terms, on Anglophone terms.
I can respect the driving ideas behind EOTWR, even if I disagree with the way that EOTWR pursues their goals. I do believe that we want the same things in the end, and therefore chose not to interact with the many posts I have seen about the protest. However, I saw the summary post and could not let it pass without speaking.
For a protest group supposedly dedicated to ending racism in the OTW, this felt incredibly hypocritical, conscious bias or not. In my most charitable frame of mind, I can see this as misjudging and overcorrecting to ensure that there was no favoritism shown to the obvious non-white candidates lest EOTWR be accused of tokenizing– again, it is true, that diversity in and of itself is not a solution to racism. 
In my least charitable and most bitter frame of mind, I feel inclined to wonder if EOTWR, much like the OTW itself, is uncomfortable with the lack of influence they could exude over an international candidate. It would be much, much easier to push their agenda forward with more culturally familiar candidates, particularly white ones. Guilt and public scrutiny are powerful weapons and easy to wield against those with perceived privilege in our current atmosphere, often to the detriment of the actual discussion at hand in my experience. I know that’s cynical. It’s hard not to be. (For clarity's sake: I do not know the other candidates' races. This is a hypothetical.)
This isn’t a demand for an apology. I think we fetishize the capital-A Apology to the point where I find them sort of meaningless unless they are given freely. I don’t need EOTWR to agree with me, and I don’t really want to keep talking about it. Rather, I would prefer that EOTWR take action to do better as they continue in their campaign. What that action is is their decision. If they truly mean to stand against racism in the OTW, then I’d like them to demonstrate it.
--
DO NOT HARASS EOTWR MODS. I AM FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.
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cyren-myadd ¡ 3 months ago
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This concept art has been living in my head rent free
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This concept art of Spider with a kuru literally keeps me up some nights wondering what it means. I got so excited over the new D23 concept art that I went looking through some old Avatar stuff I had saved and came across this again, which reignited all the burning questions I have about it.
Concept art typically leads to two outcomes: either it gets scrapped and removed from the plot or it gets refined and is eventually realized within the story. The same is true for this particular piece of concept art. Its existence means it's either:
A) an old idea that they ended up scrapping, or
B) it's an idea they're going with and will eventually be realized in the movies.
The reason I keep myself up at night wondering whether its A or B is because of the context of this concept art. The art was originally shown on a gigantic screen at some big avatar showcase thing in Los Angeles. There's no way showing this was some oversight or mistake. Unlike the script that was shown on accident, this was shown to avatar fans INTENTIONALLY. Which leaves me with the question of why they would show such a shocking concept on purpose?
If option A is right and this is just an old idea they scrapped, why show people? This isn't a minor change (ie switching the Metkayina eye color from yellow to blue/green) that won't really make an impact on the plot. Spider growing a kuru would be a massive change that would radically effect the story. I think I read somewhere that James Cameron at some point wanted the character Trudy to return as a recombinant like Quaritch, but scrapped the idea because the actress, Michelle Rodriguez, didn't want to reprise her role. Could you imagine if before Avatar 2 released, they showed concept art of Trudy as recom, and everyone got all excited to see how that would play out, only for it to be revealed that it was an old scrapped idea and we were never going to see it on screen? That would be such a confusing and disappointing thing to do. This is how I feel about this concept art. If it's never going to happen, why show it at all? Since intentionally showing concept art for an idea they scrapped doesn't make any sense, that makes me wonder if option B is right, but option B doesn't make a lot of sense either.
If option B is right, once again, why show people? That's a MASSIVE spoiler. Showing this image would be like if they showed concept art of Neteyam's funeral before Avatar 2 released, spoiling the major death of the story. It wouldn't make any more sense to spoil a big death than it would to spoil such a radical change like Spider getting a kuru. I'll admit that when I first saw this image, I accepted it at face value and I made this long post theorizing that Spider will get a kuru and that this will somehow be connected to the leaked script where he gets the ability to breathe the Pandoran air, but since then I've rethought my position. It just doesn't make sense to me that they would show it on purpose if they actually do intend to give Spider a kuru in Avatar 3. But at the same time, it also doesn't make sense that they would show a scrapped idea that's so wildly out of the range of what we know is possible in the avatar universe.
Unless there's some secret third option I'm missing, I'm going to keep wondering and wondering whether this image is just a scrapped idea or a real spoiler of what's to come. I guess I'll get my answer when Avatar 3 finally comes out and this idea happens or not, but I'll still wonder why they showed it.
Do you guys think this concept art is depicting a scrapped idea or a spoiler, and why? And does anyone have any idea why they would show this regardless if its a scrap or a spoiler?
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shira-cosmic-star ¡ 5 months ago
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Hello! Mind if I send in a request? I'm not sure how familiar you are with Sanrio, but how about some headcanons for the Hotarubi boys + Alan, Luca, and Kaito with a reader that's like Wish Me Mell.
In case you don't know, Mell is a bit shy, a bit clumsy, but she's very kind, and her heart is always in the right place. She enjoys collecting stamps and writing letters. Mell is considered a bit disorganized and a scatterbrain, but despite that, she has a kind and loving heart for everyone
Hotarubi boys + Alan, Luca, and Kaito with a reader that's like Wish Me Mell.
(So sorry this took me a while, I wanted to make sure I got the character’s personality fully. So I did more research, because I wasn’t confident in myself 😅. I do hope you enjoy this💙)
Warning: spoilers on episode 5 + super long writing
———————————————————
Haku:
When Haku first met MC. He noticed a few things about them. They were a bit shy and clumsy. So clumsy that when they first met and got off the train. MC accidentally tripped over their own feet and slammed right into Haku. They apologized profusely, Haku chuckled. He found it cute and adoring. As he got to know MC. He found more of this cute personality of their’s
•MC once came to Hotarubi to give him a document that had a mistake. When they got there, they have completely forgot why they were there. When they admitted that, Haku reminded them that they have told him about the documents. “Oh! Right, sorry hehe.” MC pulled out the documents and hand it over
•After Haku looked it over and signed it. He handed it back to MC. When MC was leaving…they accidentally tripped over nothing and fell. They were okay, but it worried Haku a bit.
•Haku always told MC to be careful. But he would also teasingly say. “Falling for me again?” Which caused MC to blush madly
•When MC comes over to relax and have some tea with Haku. They have gotten on a subject about working too hard and all. MC complimented him and told him that if he ever needed help. He could count on MC. This warmed Haku’s heart. He placed a hand on their head and thanked them.
•One time MC misplaced their phone somewhere and looked everywhere. Haku was walking in the halls and saw them on the floor in a classroom. He decided to help them. Only to find out that their phone was in their bag this entire time. MC felt embarrassed.
•Haku chuckles every time he’s around them. It’s never a dull moment with them.
Subaru:
MC was walking down the empty hall. When they almost accidentally ran into someone. “Oh! I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” MC stated while apologizing again. Subaru told them that it was okay. When they were going their separate ways. MC accidentally ran into a wall. While blushing madly, they laughed and speed down the hallway.
•Ever since that day, they have bumped into each frequently. Not actually run into each pre-say. Just seen each other on the opposite sides.
•They would smile and say hello to one another.
•Once MC started to work with Hotarubi. They felt relaxed that Haku and Subaru was in this dorm. Especially after what happened with the last dorm..
•Subaru would often invite MC for tea. Once MC held their cup and accidentally let it slipped. The tea was dumped all over their lap. They were embarrassed and apologized. Subaru didn’t mind the mess and asked them if they were okay.
•MC asked Subaru to meet them for lunch. They wanted to ask him something but completely forgot what to was. But Subaru sat next to her and enjoyed lunch with them anyways. After lunch MC then remembered and texted him. It was about tea.
•Subaru feels at easy when around MC. Didn’t have to force himself to be perfect. Though he’s still anxious, he feels that, he can make mistakes and that MC wouldn’t get mad or disappointed.
•Though let’s be honest, if MC freaks out during a case or missing something in their daily lives. This would make Subaru more anxious. So if MC’s calm, he’s calm. Haku has to help both of them
•Subaru also thinks that MC would be able to help his friend Lyca. Lyca has been through a lot and so maybe he’ll learn how to trust MC and maybe others.
•He uses this to learn more about MC. And MC uses them opportunity to know both of them
Zenji:
Zenji accidentally scared MC when they have first met. He wrote a note to warn them, but when they have woken up. He didn’t finish writing it. So it came off creepy and scary for them. But when MC was finally able to see and hear him. He was extremely excited. He would often speak to them with a lot of energy.
•”My sweet beautiful doll! I’m so glad you can see me!” The nickname he have given MC, made MC blushed. They smiled back and said, “it’s so nice to meet you” they spoke in a shy soft voice
•”Your voice is like a soft melody my dear.” This made have caused MC’s heart to race
•Zenji would often compliment them every time he sees them. They would smile and talked to him or listen to his music.
•MC actually likes the passion Zenji has when he composes his music or tells stories
•When MC accidentally hurt themselves, Zenji would freak out a little bit. A worrywart like him would rush to their side and ask them if they are okay
•After finding out what had happened to Zenji, MC wept for him. Such cruel fate for their dear friend. When Zenji saw tears swelled in their eyes. He soothes them. Telling them not to worry and that he is okay and still here. If MC ever needed to talk. They can come to him.
•Zenji adores MC even more after seeing MC cries for him. Not in a sadistic way, but as a, “they care about me” way. He deeply cherishes that. He cherishes them
Luca:
Luca, became more and more protective of MC when he started to spend more time with them. Noticing how clumsy and disorganized they were. Once they dropped their pencil on the floor. Bent down to pick it, came back up and hit their head.
•When walking to the cafeteria, MC tripped over their own footing and Luca caught them. MC thanked him
•MC accidentally forgot their notebook in class, they were freaking out when they couldn’t find it. Luckily Luca had it and gave it back to them. They were relieved. After they have dumped their entire bag on the table
•Luca would keep an eye on them when he’s around. Making sure they don’t accidentally hurt themselves or run into anything. He would grab their hand gentle to pull them aside, away from the wall, person, or any object they weren’t looking because they were daydreaming.
•He had continued to hold their hand until they have reached their destination. Kaito wasn’t happy
•Luca noticed how kind MC was. Especially when MC would calm Kaito down from his melt downs or panics.
•When Luca had gotten into a confrontation with Shu and Leo. It was MC that calmed him down a bit. MC had grabbed one of his hands and rubbed their thumb on the top of his hand. He looked over to MC and noticed a worry look. MC asked him if he was okay. He nodded and took a deep breathe. Though it didn’t last, it definitely helped
Kaito:
When Kaito first spoke to MC. He cried over how sweet they were. Calling them an angel that came to save him. This made MC blushed, shortly after they first time they’ve met. Kaito would fall for her more and more. How? This is how
•MC saw Kaito outside the cathedral. There were stairs and Mc almost fell down it. Kaito helped them by grabbing their hand to support them as the walked down.
•It scared Kaito at first, but he felt like a try gentleman or a knight!
•When in need of rescue, always count on Kaito! He definitely didn’t tell MC that out loud. He did
•There were times where MC showed their appreciation to Luca and Kaito. They would often by sweets or any snacks they knew where their favorites. Kaito would either cry or blush with excitement.
•He falls for them more and more until he hit the core of the earth.
•He would often try to impress MC. Which may or may not caused him to accidentally make a fool of himself. Even though that happens, MC would often encourage him to look on the bright side or encouraged him to keep trying.
•And so he does, so hopefully one day. They would be a couple.
Alan:
MC was extremely nervous about working with Vagastrom. Especially after the whole Sho vs Luca fight. It didn’t help how mean Leo was to them. Alan did however make things a little easier. Then Sho did, but never Leo. So when MC came over. They felt comfortable when Sho and/Alan was there.
•When on the case, Alan made sure to tell them not to enhance his stigma. He was terrified of hurting them. He would put enough space between them.
•While on top of the cliff, MC fell and Alan quickly saved them. He asked them if they were okay. They thanked him over and over again. He wasn’t used to being thanked.
•It warmed his heart, but went back to focus on the case.
•MC told him that they were clumsy and often accidentally hurt themselves so. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.
•This caused Alan to make sure to keep an eye on them. Incase they accidentally get hurt again. He doesn’t mind it though. MC however felt like they were hold everyone back.
•Alan in his own words reassures them that they are doing plenty to help.
•When MC waited outside with Sho. Alan couldn’t stop thinking about their safety. It made him incredibly uncomfortable. Anxious really. When MC screamed and then Sho. He rushed to saved them.
•After he saves them, MC was grateful and smiled gently as they take his hand.
•A sweet gentle smile, from a shy and kind person. Even though they went through a hellish situation. They were still able to smile. That is called strength. He liked that and told them that. In his own words
———————————————————
This was a lot, sorry that it was so long. Tell me what you think. What’s your favorite one, what you didn’t like or maybe something I can improve on? Was it romantic enough or not enough. Im curious to hear your guys thoughts! Have a great day! 💙
(Edited)
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yeloenk ¡ 2 months ago
Note
“i don’t get why people think bullying is okay”
why are you… acting like you didn’t look over the list and post it. you’re part of the bullying problem too.
you don’t just post a list of peoples names for funsies and later go “oh oopsie! bullying is bad!!” like you didn’t participate
i thought you were really cool. this is really disappointing to see, man.
again,
i want to clarify that i answered the anon list with the intentions of others using as a block list. a list people can use to know who to avoid, just spreading awareness. i genuinely do not think bullying is okay? i didn't know people would use it as a hitlist or anything like that before people let me know. i knew hitlists existed, yes, but it did not cross my mind people would use it as one or that it even was one. i'm not used to being caught up in stuff like this, i've always purposefully kept myself in a pretty sheltered corner of the internet so i wouldn't get involved in potentially dangerous things.
i did take a hand in encouraging harassment, but please, understand it was unintentional. i've already explained why i answered the list and apologized—i also immediately deleted the list after seeing people tell me how it had misinformation and that people could potentially use it for witch-hunting. you're acting like i kept it up and never acknowledged my mistake. i didn't just go "oopsie!" and ignore what happened.
don't make assumptions about me. i've been a victim of bullying throughout my teen years, and in no way do i think it's okay. it can do serious damage to a person. i really did think the anon was spreading it as a blocklist. i did carelessly post it without thinking, which was absolutely my bad and i take accountability for it. but calling me a bully for a one-time unintentional thing like that is ridiculous.
you can feel free to unfollow/block me if you wish, but i'm not gonna sit here and let people make remarks on my character like this. i'm sorry if you think i'm a bully, but i'm not. i know my mistake of participating in encouraging harassment was a big one, and i am ashamed i didn't do any research prior to answering the anon. i would never want any harm to come to anybody because of me, or in general.
plus... i'm not acting like i was never a part of the issue. i acknowledged it and took responsibility for what i did. what i did was not okay. my apology is literally two posts down if you scroll on my blog for a few seconds. it's your choice to accept the apology, but blantantly lying and acting like i'm pretending to not have been a part of the problem is plain silly.
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rose-tea-and-strawberries ¡ 1 year ago
Text
Return To Sender
Reader/Yuu is female
To Me Mr Deuce Spade,
Hello. How are things going? I’m not sure if you remember this but during your first year we all wrote letters for our future selves to read once we graduate. Y/N said that this was something she did back in her world so Professor Crewel thought that it would be a good idea for our homeroom class to do it as well.
To be honest, I don’t really know what to say to - which is weird because I have a lot of things I want to say to my past self. I’m sure you know all about that, we really were a complete idiot back in middle school. Does the guilt ever go away? Did our wish come through? Do we become better? Do we make mum proud and become an honour’s student? Is Y/N proud of us?
I don’t think I need to tell you about Y/N. She’s not someone you can forget. She and I just got together actually! I asked her out and we kissed and it was amazing! I still can’t believe that this is the life I have and knowing me I don’t think you do either. I’m actually really scared. This whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing is new and I really don’t want to mess this up. I’m really good at messing things up.
I don’t know what happens in the future and whatever happens can’t be changed by you. There’s a chance that Y/N has gone back to her home but if she hasn’t, if she’s still there then I’m going to remind you how lucky we are to have her in our life. We both know that we’ve made a lot of big mistakes in our life, mistakes that hurt people we care about and that’s hurt we can’t ever take back but please don’t ever make any mistakes when it comes to her. Don’t ever disappoint her. She’s been through a lot and she deserves so much more than what she’s got.
So cherish her. Spend every day making sure she knows how much we love her. Buy her flowers and take her on dates and do everything that they do in the books and movies. Let her know how much we adore her laugh and that her smile is brighter than the sun and don’t take a single second for granted. Let her know that you’ve loved her ever since the egg incident at the beginning of the year. Listen to her because she’s usually right. Support her just like she’s always supporting us. She feels safe with us. Don’t change that.
Please marry her.
Growing up changes people and every day I’m doing my best to be better so you have to be better too, okay? Don’t make her cry like we made mum because if you do I swear I’ll bash your head in. Don’t be the idiot we both know we can be. Don’t let her get hurt more than this world already did. 
Oh, before we started writing, Y/N told me to tell you that she’s proud of you. She said that she hopes that you're happy and that she’s cheering you on. She also said a bunch of other stuff  but I’m not writing that down.
I hope that we get accepted into the police academy. I hope that we achieve our dreams and make the world a better place. Y/N’s not the only one who believes in you. I do too. I’ve been told that I should love myself so just know that I love you too.
I’ll see be you soon
Deuce Spade (16 years old) 
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astroyongie ¡ 10 months ago
Text
Riize February Reading 2024
Note: please take it lightly
Shotaro
Love: Shotaro is still dating the idol he was dating in the December reading. Things are going well, the relationship is healthy and there isnt much to say about it at the moment. Since December nothing changed 
Career: one thing I have noticed for every Riize member while shuffling is that the career for them are a meeting a set back. When it comes to Shotaro, he was very disappointed with the new rules the company gave them and he is rather upset with the change of plans for this year. 
Self: despite the chaotic moment of the career, he is okay. Shotaro have been talking more with people around him, he isnt isolating myself anymore and the support of his partner has been proven to be positive on his behavior 
Eunseok
Love: like you guys know, he came out of a relationship around October/November. Still now, things are complicated and his heart is aimlessly roaming without a clear path. I think he is still healing and trying to forget the feelings he had for that person
Career: he was probably the only member that was happy with the new schedules for Riize and the change of plans and concept. Eunseok’s sponsorship will also work to put him under the spotlight 
Self: he is a little upset because of the argument he had with one of the members. This was mostly due to career and the competition they have between them. Eunseok got really upset with the fact that he lost an opportunity to this other member
Sungchan
Love: the way he is coping with his love life is extremely unhealthy. Sungchan has been having behaviors that could be unhealthy and harm him. Although he does that because he just want to forget about his own heartache, he isnt doing things correctly. Some people could get hurt around him too
Career: needless to say, for him the companies choice for the group this year is shit. He feels like the group will go through stagnation because of it which makes him white annoyed. 
Self: currently he is going through a very complicated moment. Physically and emotionally he isnt okay (this is probably due to the behaviors mention above). Sungchan should be careful with his health or there will be a possible hiatus for him if he keeps this up.                    
Wonbin
Love: whatever relationship he had in December, they finished a couple of days before. The person took the decision to leave Wonbin after a mistake that he has made. He is very disappointed  on himself but also on this ex because he thought that they would fight for it 
Career: he is scared that the news schedules will but the group into a lighter spotlight. Wonbin truly believes that the company is stupid for making such marketing decisions for them 
Self: other than that, he is feeling very confident with himself. Despite the setbacks, Wonbin is someone that knows his worth and he acts like the “leader” when it comes to his own choices. 
Seunghan
Love: he is still single and he isnt seeking for any realtionsho at the moment, since he knows he can’t get someone of his “league” while he has an issue with his long term success that is currently limited 
Career: he is so exhausted and sad. Seunghan wants to come back but the company havent given him any green light for the moment. Seunghan feels overwhelmed with everything that has been happening around him and he is truly upset about it 
Self: as expected, his mood is rather low. I think he is rather on the sad side lately, mostly because he feels like he has worked hard for nothing. He needs to take care of his mental health
Sohee
Love: he is still dating, but lately he has been more focused on himself than on his partner. Sohee is been a little self centered and focused on his career. I dont know what his partner thinks about it
Career: like the others, he is pissed. Sohee is also kind of scared about the new concepts and the new turn the group needs to take for this year, because he doesnt know if people will take it well 
Self: focused on himself like I said and on his own well being. Everything that is happening around him and with other people, isnt of his concern at the moment 
Anton
Love: I believe that Anton is in a complicated situation where he got rejected by someone but where he also rejected someone who confessed to him. He is feeling a little overwhelmed when it comes to the heart 
Career: he thinks that the whole new concept is boring as hell and he doesnt like it at all. Although it is his work to do his best, Anton isnt doing the new schedules with joy 
Self: he has been dealing with some set backs. Emotionally he is scared of the future and he has been having some troubles to sleep as well due to anxiety 
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