stayevildarling

[stayevildarling]

i fear that's above my abilities, i can't even find one for myself 💔

— 🦦

well thats just sad🥺😂❤️

[stayevildarling]

i am sending a lot of love your way too. hope life will be kinder on you from now, because you deserve nothing but kindness 💛

(yet i know life can be unfair so if it is still being harsh and you need anything, do not hesitate)

— 🦦

thank you🥺 the same goes for you🤍

I mean if you can send a comforting milf my way it would be highly appreciated 😩🤣

[stayevildarling]

are your requests open?

my requests are always open🥰

[stayevildarling]

Hiii! Can I do a request? One where Agatha and reader are a couple and reader ends up pregnant but finds out that Agatha is a witch and all the people she has killed so she decides to walk away

Agatha Harkness x Reader- Night of shadows

A/N: I’m pretty sure this request has been in my inbox for months and I’m sorry🥲 I changed it up a little but hope you enjoy🤍

tw/tags: g!p agatha, pregnant reader, mention of blood, angst/hurt/comfort, smut

word count: 5.7k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00, @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez, @ahsatanizgay, @laavaagil, @wtfffisgoingon

Neither of you had expected the pregnancy. At least not yet. Agatha and you had talked about it of course, having been together for several years. The two of you eager to eventually start a family together and live the life you always dreamt off. The older woman was over the moon when she found out, seeing your worried eyes when exiting the bathroom but from her reaction you managed to smile, seeing the pride, the happiness and the love reflect in her beautiful orbs.

She had grown more protective lately, accompanying you to every appointment, not wanting you to be out late on your own and doing everything for you. She would gently rub your feet after a long day, her soothing hands rubbing circles on your back when you experienced some pain. Nothing was ever too much for her, not the midnight cravings, not having to get new clothes for you and certainly not changing the house around a little. The babies room was perfect, just how the two of you had wanted it, subtle but filled with the things you both had been talking about, turning it into your own version of happiness.

Today had been another long day, stopping at the markets while your girlfriend was busy working in her basement doing her witchcraft things. She had done a lot of herbal things lately, creams to soothe your aches, teas to help you sleep, anything to nurture her future baby mother and her future child. You promised to pick up some things for dinner and she almost didn‘t let you go alone but you had reassured her you were fine. She kept her phone close incase you needed anything, kissing you and the baby belly goodbye. It started out as a good day, strolling through the markets, grabbing your favorite smoothie and pastries.

You smelt some candles and looked for a small gift for Agatha in the ring and jewelry section , knowing she loved them before taking your pick and heading to the fresh food. You opted for some vegetables, wanting to make some kind of stew with some potatoes you had picked up, eventually underestimating the weight of it all as you head back home. The sun was shining on your face, keeping you warm against the winters cold before you considered calling Aggie to help you out considering you were less than a five minute walk from home. Before you could reach for your phone though, a stranger approached you, a woman, middle aged, almost ginger hair before stopping you.

„You need to leave her, she has done some terrible things“. Your eyebrows furrow as you realize she is talking to you and at first the thought of your older girlfriend doesn‘t even cross your mind. „Agatha, she‘s a witch“ she carries on and you have to stop yourself from laughing obviously having known that for years. „You don‘t understand“ she warns as she steps closer again. „She has killed people, hundreds, innocent, children, she‘s dangerous“ the woman warns before you blink and she disappears. Goosebumps form on your skin as your feet carry you towards home, unsure what to think or do. When you finally make it inside, legs and feet feeling a little swollen before setting the bags down, you can‘t help curiousity getting a hold of you as you hear the bath running.

In a swift motion, you make your way to her basement, always welcome there of course as Agatha didn‘t have any secrets or at least you thought so. You look through cabinets at first without any success, seeing her usual items before standing on one of the stools to reach one of the top shelves. As you open it, you find some books, a dagger and as you pull it towards you you see the faint lingers of blood, your breath hitching as a wave of dizziness washes over you. It feels strange being in her basement without her as usually you would watch her showing you incarnations and her magic. But something feels different in there tonight. There isn’t the usual buzz of energy, but rather a cold and darkness surrounding you. You would’ve never thought that you would ever trust a stranger about the woman that you had been loving for years and the future mother of your child.

Tears swell in your eyes as you carry on looking and find more proof for what the stranger had told you. Suddenly, you feel the urge to run, feeling like you don’t know the woman anymore who had shown you all those years ago, who she truly was and how she had been treating you with nothing but kindness. Your legs feel weak, the familiar tension returning in your stomach before you feel the kicks. Tears swell in your eyes as you think about what that might mean. Was it a sign that you should run and protect you both or was it a sign to talk to Agatha and figure out what all of this even meant? After some time you make your way upstairs into your shared bedroom, unaware how late it was and that Agatha had fallen asleep while waiting for you as you head to the bathroom to get changed, you see the bath she had drawn for you, the candles, and the by now cold mug of tea that had lost its steam and it’s warmth to keep you grounded after the day.

As you eventually make your way into bed, you see how her chest rises and falls softly, how her eyes are closed, her fingers slightly twitching. A part of you wants to wake her up wants to ask all the questions that linger on your mind, but you can’t. No matter what you do you can’t find an ounce of sleep feeling like the world, your world had been stolen from you. You spend hours tossing and turning, fingers ghosting over your girlfriends features, trying to wake her up, but stopping yourself just in time every single time. You could tell Agatha was exhausted, the witch never usually sleeping through a night, especially when she was waiting for you and when dinner was still on the table, when your feet rubs would wait and when the bath she had wanted to share with you was waiting too.

But god- you can‘t. The things you had seen in the books, the crossed out names, the blood, the dangerous spells makes you believe every word the woman had told you. And your smart, composed self tells you it may just be coincidence as after all, you knew Agatha had enemies, people in this town that didn‘t like her and feared her, hence why she was so protective. But somehow you can‘t think straight and before you have even fully registered what you are doing, you left the house, it barely being six am. Nothing but a bottle of water and your wallet in your jacket pocket before walking aimlessly through town. Only when you get on the first bus that eventually arrives, the realization of what you just did dawns on you, that you left.

That Agatha was going to wake up without you, that she would panic because you never even fell asleep beside her last night. How the bath in the bathroom was still drawn, the candles blown out by now but the tea left untouched, the soft pyjamas she laid out for you and the warm towels equally untouched. And of course she does, Agatha wakes up with a jolt, her body catching up faster than her mind does at first when she doesn‘t feel your warmth in her arms, when she eventually finds the state of the house and how you aren‘t there, how she could tell you came home by the bed but never stayed. Her hands reach for her phone as she dials your number but as soon as she hears it ring in your bag by the kitchen island, panic settles in fast.

Almost frantically, she stumbles into her basement, grabbing the supplies she needs in order to track you and figure out what the hell happened. She tries using her powers first, seeing if she could feel you anywhere because usually she could. But there is nothing, no presence, not your steady heartbeat that she could usually feel, it lately having been two. She eventually gets a crystal ball before muttering countless incarnations and spells, trying hard to somehow find out your whereabouts and what must have happened last night.

Agatha‘s eyes are fixed on the crystal ball, her hands trembling as she whispers the incarnations again. The purple swirling smoke inside clears, flickering like a dark storm breaking apart and then images snap into focus. She sees it all, you wandering through the markets, glowing as the sunlight catches your hair and smile at the stalls. She watches as you struggle carrying the potatoes and fumbling for your phone to call her before the woman approached you. Agatha hears it then the words the woman told you, about how your girlfriend had killed innocent people and children. She watches as your gaze drops and you carry on walking home.

The image is more painful than she could have imagined, her worst fears coming true as she watches the vision of the night before, you standing in her basement, seeing the books, the daggers and the blood. She watches as your face twists, a wave of dizziness washing over you and the night of tossing and turning before leaving. Tears fill her eyes immediately as her fist slams hard on the table, the crystal ball shaking violently. „No“ she growls, voice thick with desperation and anger. She knew there may be a day this would catch up with you both but she never thought it would come this soon. God she wants to explain, that this isn‘t who she is, that you have made her change but how? How could she ever make you see past her darkness?

Her fingers brush the glowing orb again, eyes narrowing as she prepares a new spell, one to find you so she could explain, bring you back. But deep down her heart is hammering because what if you never come back? What if you can never trust her again? Agatha‘s voice drops lower and suddenly the mist sharpens into a clear image, you walking through a dimly lit street after getting off a bus and then your eyes flick nervously to the strange man that had been following you since you got off the bus stop. His eyes are cold and unsettling, a creepy grin tugged at his lips. In the vision you freeze, your heart pounding.

Without thinking, you break into a run, clutching your tummy as the man quickens his pace behind you. He had been chatting you up once you got off the bus and no matter how many times you told him you aren‘t interested, he just wouldn‘t leave you alone. Agatha‘s breath hitches, her fingers tightening around the crystal ball. She watches everything happen in real time now as you dart through thick woods, branches whipping your face, your feet stumbling on tangled roots. The strangers heavy footsteps keep thundering behind you and she sees you glancing back panic flashing in your eyes.

Agatha‘s voice cracks „No, not like this“ before slamming her palm onto the table, her energy crackling through her fingertips. Her eyes snap open, the crystal ball fading as she whispers a final chant. In an instant the world blurs and twists, the air thick with magic and then she is there too, in the woods, her heart hammering as the cold bites at her skin. Branches scrap her arms but she doesn‘t slow. Ahead she catches sight of the man, following you with a cruel grin. Without hesitation, Agatha‘s hands surge with power, a low and protective growl escaping her lips. She points and then the man‘s feet lift from the ground like he is weightless, before she sends him flying backwards, crashing into the trees with a brutal thud.

In your haze you didn‘t see any of that. You aren‘t even aware the guy isn‘t following you anymore, let alone that Agatha is right behind you. Your breath hitches as your foot catches on a hidden root. You stumble forward, trying to catch yourself but your face slams right into the dirt. You immediately feel a sharp sting across your face as you busted your lip, blood already trailing down. But you immediately clutch your stomach, a deep ache pulsing through you, causing your breath to come out uneven and gasping.

You try to push yourself up but you can‘t, the pain too strong and then you force your eyes closed, clutching your stomach protectively, accepting your fate at last. Just in that moment Agatha crashes through the last few bushes, eyes wild and frantic as she finally reaches you. Her breath hitches, chest heaving, seeing you like that. She drops to her knees in an instant, fingers trembling as she brushed a strand of hair from your bloodied lip. You flinch hard, unaware this is your girlfriend, still caught up in the panic of it all.

„Hey.. hey baby don‘t flinch“ she whispers, voice thick with desparation and guilt. „I‘m here, I‘ve got you, it‘s okay“ she murmurs but you flinch again and her heart clenches, her gaze darting between your bruised face and stomach. „Agatha?“ you whimper as you finally open your eyes at last. „It‘s me baby, it‘s me“ she cries out „Baby you‘re hurt and.. you‘re carrying my child“ she says, voice breaking. „How did this happen? why didn‘t you tell me you were running? I shouldve been here- god I could have kept you safe“. Her hands shake as she presses her sleeve to your bleeding lip, careful but full of protectiveness.

„Please baby don‘t shut me out now“ she pleads softly, eyes searching yours as if to see if you are still there, still fighting because the thought of losing you or the baby crushes her. „I‘m so scared love, so scared I lost you“ she cries. There is a beat of silence before you whimper „M sorry Aggy, I was at the markets- and this woman- and - I‘m sorry“ and god the relief that crashes through her in this moment overweighs the heartache. „I know baby- I saw it, it‘s okay“ she reassures as she cups your cheeks.

You open your mouth to say something but the words get caught as a sharp wince ripples through you. Agatha‘s eyes snap to your stomach, her hands freezing mid motion. „Shh, no talking baby“ she murmurs, voice soft but trembling with fear. She moves her palm gently over your belly, just enough to feel the tension beneath your skin. „Are you- are you hurt here too?“ she asks, her voice breaking. You nod but another pang of pain causes your face to drain of colour. „God baby, we need to get you checked out now“ she says.

Agatha doesn‘t hesitate, she hauls you up gently but firmly, arms wrapping tight around your waist, steadying you with a protectiveness that makes your heart race. „Come on“ she says her voice low but urgent „We‘re going to hospital, they need to check on you.. and the baby“. You lean heavily into her, every step hurting but shes unwavering, carrying you more than just your weight, she‘s carrying your fear, your pain and your guilt. You can tell by her eyes and jaw that she is terrified but holding it together for you.

The hospital buzzes with energy as Agatha stays glued to your side, explaining to the doctors and nurses what happened. Her fingers stay laced tightly with yours the entire time. The doctors hustle in and out, voices clinical but calm, running tests, scans, poking you and pressing gently where it hurts. After what feels like an eternity, a nurse gently wipes at your busted lip with a cloth. Agatha‘s hand squeezes yours, her eyes never leaving your face. God she wishes she could take your pain because this is all her fault.

Finally, a doctor steps inside, clearing his throat. „The baby is absolutely fine“ he says, voice warm and reassuring. A wave of relief crashes over Agatha, her shoulders drop and a shaky breath escapes her lips as your eyes well up with tears. „We are assuming it was the impact and how shaken up you were but you are good to go“ he assures. Agatha helps you up after the nurse finishes, whispering a soft „It‘s okay“ her voice thick with emotion. „You‘re safe, we‘re safe“ she keeps saying as she holds your hand and leads you through the busy corridors.

You manage to pull yourself together until you are in her car, her hands gently adjusting the seatbelt before closing the door and getting into the drivers seat. And then the sobs rip through you as you bury your face in your hands. Agatha‘s features drop as she sees you like this, her hands immediately stilling and finding your legs. „Hey hey baby it‘s okay“ she whispers as her own heart breaks but you just shake your head fiercely. „It‘s not okay Aggie, I.. I ran away, I got hurt and followed by this creepy guy instead of staying and- talking to you after that woman at the markets. The baby could have died, I‘m so stupid“ you cry.

And god your words hit her like a pang to the chest as she realizes the guilt you are carrying. „Listen to me“‘she says firmly, her hands ever so gently prying your hands from your face so your teary eyes can meet hers. „You ran because you were scared and I don‘t blame you okay? all I care about is that you are okay“ she says so firmly, her eyes filled with honesty. „And I promise you when we are home, I‘m gonna explain everything to you okay? this wasn‘t fair on you, the woman, seeing the stuff in my basement ok?“ she asks and you nod a little „We‘re gonna fix this together okay?“. „But the baby- I could have-" you start but she stops you immediately. „Listen to me - you- are the most important thing to me on this planet okay? I‘m so happy you are carrying my baby and I‘m so so relieved they are okay but right now? I care about you, so let me take you home and take care of you okay?“ she asks.

Her words and the sincerity in them makes your breath catch and you just nod worldessly as she gently wipes your tears with her fingers. One hand settles on yours as she squeezes it tight before she starts the car, getting ready to take you home and explain what she probably should have done a long time ago. It doesn‘t take long before you make it home together, Agatha opens the car door, then the front door before sitting you gently on the sofa. Without asking she hurries to make you some of your favourite tea before setting it down on the small coffee table because it‘s too hot still.

Her hands are gentle as she takes off your shoes and socks, propping your feet up as she assumes they must hurt badly after all the running you did. She hands you a blanket afterwards before gently draping it over your legs. „Need anything else? a heating pad, food?“she asks but you just shake your head, overwhelmed with how gentle she is right now but still whats looming over you both. She takes a seat beside you before her hand finds yours again. „That woman.. from the market, I know her“ Agatha admits. „She somehow found out I‘m a witch and she‘s been bitter about that since. I guess she doesn‘t like a witch living in her town you know“ Agatha begins as your eyes meet hers.

„And it‘s true baby, you know I‘m a witch but I haven‘t always been the herbal witch like now, when you met me. It‘s true, I have performed darker magic in the past and I have performed rituals, sacrifices even“ she admits and your eyes flicker to hers seeing the raw honesty in them. „But I swear to you, since I met you, you changed me. I want to be good, I have been good for you and for our child, you don‘t have to be scared of me“ she says but it‘s more a plea than a statement by the quiver in her voice. There is silence for a few moments before you ask „So did you- kill?“ you ask, so scared and so small that it causes Agatha to look away. „I have done things I regret and I have done things I‘m not proud of“ she admits and for a moment your heart catches in your throat.

There is silence for a while after that, Agatha‘s breathing heavy as she waits for some kind of response from you, terrified you may walk out again after hearing the truth. And you are lost in your thoughts, staring at the woman you thought you knew in and out until a stranger changed all of that. You are about to say something when suddenly your entire face drains of color and Agatha watches as your eyes widen. „Baby? baby what‘s wrong?“ she asks, her hands instantly traveling to you. You stare at your belly and then at her before quickly reaching for her hand and placing it on your belly. And then she feels it too- the kicking- and it being the first time she could feel that.

Her entire features soften in a way you had never seen before, tears shimmering in her eyes as her eyes lock with your own, not your tummy, you. „May I?“ she asks so gentle it nearly knocks the breath from you and you simply nod before she lowers herself and kisses your tummy so damn gently. „I love you both“ she whispers, so raw and vulnerable that you remember who you ran away from in that moment. You ran away from the woman that has been giving you everything since you met her. Who cherished you long before you got pregnant, who had always put you first, who would burn the world down for your wellbeing. Who was more terrified of losing you in that hospital than the baby.

And you ran. You ran because she hadn‘t told you the whole truth, because she had a past and damn, it was definitely one hell of a past she hid from you but god you couldn‘t care less right now, not with the way she is looking at you, so full of love for you, surprise at the kicking and hope and at the same time terrified you would leave again. Before you can think further about what you are doing, you practically haul yourself into her arms as your own arms lock around her shoulders and you bury your face in her neck. Agatha‘s breath hitches for a second before she immediately melts and holds you in her arms, the whole tension melting as she feels you close again, the way it had been and should always be.

Neither of you pull away for the longest time but eventually she does and when she does, she instantly cups your cheeks, faces inches apart as her lip trembles and eyes are filled with tears. „Please don‘t leave me“ she pleads „I love you so much and I can‘t lose you- I‘ll be better I promise“ she pleads but you cut her off, your own tears streaming down your cheeks. „You are already perfect Aggy“ you whisper before you pull her into the softest, most gentle kiss. Your tears mingle as she kisses you back, so damn softly as if you are the most fragile thing in the world right now and god she knows you just gave her everything by your statement and the promise to stay.

„God .. thank you“ she whispers as she holds you close to her chest. „I‘m so sorry for running“ you whisper as you hiccup and she just holds you impossibly closer as she shakes her head. „No more sorry‘s darling, I‘ve got you now“ she murmurs and right now, in her arms you believe her for the first time since this chaos. You eventually drift off a little on the sofa and she wraps the blanket tighter around you before carefully stepping away, making sure not to wake you in the process as she finds some soft pyjamas for you, fluffy socks, some warm towels and runs you a bath just the way you like it. She lights some candles and remakes your tea as it had been forgotten by all the whispered confessions and places it neatly on the tray leaning against the bathtub, as she adds some bubbles at last, the ones smelling like lavender that she knows calm you after a long day.

By the time she finishes, she gently walks over to you before rubbing your cheek with her thumb. „Hi sweet girl, I made you a bath“ she whispers gently as your tired eyes blink at her a little hazily. „Thanks Aggie“ you murmur before she takes your hand and carefully leads you to the bathroom. When you step inside you wake up fully seeing all the effort she put into it and you melt as you see her standing there, so damn vulnerable and careful. „This is really nice“ you murmur and you watch as she relaxes physically. „I was going to make dinner, I‘m sure you must be starving“ she says before you nod a little shy. „Just shout if you need anything okay? anything at all“ she says with a serious expression before you nod and she kisses your cheek which makes you blush a little.

As soon as your body feels the warm water elope you, the lavender smell hitting your senses, the candles shining softly and the warm cup of tea warming your hands, you feel at ease a little. You still feel so guilty for running and god knows what could have happened if Agatha didn‘t show up when she did but right now, in your shared home, you feel safe and cherished and love, which was all Agatha ever really wanted when it came to you. You stay in there for ages, washing the past 24 hours of your skin before eventually getting out, drying yourself and getting dressed in the soft warm pyjamas she laid out. When you step out of the bathroom, the smell of some kind of stew hits your nose and you instantly follow the scent into the kitchen.

There she is, Agatha having set the table, a candle in the middle, the food simmering on low heat on the stove as it was probably done ages ago but she wanted to give you the time you needed to relax. Her soft features are illuminated by the sun setting and god she looks like an angel, her soft curls, the way her fingers tap the kitchen island and how she‘s so alert to you needing anything that she didn‘t even realize you are standing there. „Hi“ you whisper softly and she instantly gets pulled out of her thoughts and stares at you. „You‘re done jesus“ she says softly and you giggle a little as she rushes to the stove. „Dinner‘s done baby- I‘m just gonna-" but before she can finish, you take her hand and gently turn the stove off completely.

„Aggy thank you for dinner but right now I want you“ you whisper and her eyes widen as you swear you can hear her heart beating through her chest. „Bu- but babygirl you must be starving you-" she tries but you cut her off again. „I am.. but not for that“ and god that‘s it. She abandons every thought of dinner as her lips crash onto yours, still so damn gentle somehow but filled with desperation and need from both of you. She lifts you effortlessly but carefully as your legs wrap around her and she carries you to the bedroom, as if you weigh nothing, despite the ever growing bump.

Your back gently hits the mattress as the older woman climbs on top of you, gentle of your tummy before she helps you out of your pyjamas. „God look at you“ she murmurs as her fingers stroke your tummy and legs „So damn gorgeous“ she whispers before kissing your neck „And mine“. You bite your lip as you catch her eyes, filled with lust and need but also a fierce protectiveness that you had never seen before, at least not like this. „Are you sure baby?“ she asks so seriously and in her features you can see even one ounce of hesitation from you right now and she would stop immediately. You nod frantically as your hands fumble with the waistband of her jeans, unzipping and pulling them down, revealing her hardened dick. There‘s a little patch and it causes you to smirk a little as she stares and her cheeks go red a little.

„What can I say when you look like that?“ she gestures towards you and you giggle before getting up a little and going on your knees for her. Your gaze stays locked on hers as you gently take her cock into your hands, stroking gently just the way she likes it before taking her in your mouth. Her head falls back in pleasure as a gutteral moan escapes her, her legs already trembling as your mouth works it‘s magic. You are sucking, head bobbing as you take her fully, without making noise and god you are so perfect for her it only turns her on more. „Such a good girl“ she whispers as she strokes your hair, gently guiding your head back and forth. By the time you feel a little precum, you pull back a little and her mouth is immediately on yours as she pushes you back down so gently.

Her mouth is everywhere, your cheeks, your lips, your neck, your boobs, kissing down your stomach and your thighs. „I want you mommy“ you whisper and god that does it. She carefully aligns herself, her cock equally throbbing to your soaking center as you both need each other so much. „You sure?“ she asks one last time and you nod as you stare at her „M sure, fuck me mommy“ you whisper and that‘s all it takes for her to push the tip in, gently at first so you can adjust before pushing in further. And god feeling her inside you again, making you feel so full and perfect almost tips you over the edge right there already. „So big mommy“ you whimper as your head falls to the side in pleasure.

„Baby you feel so good“ she moans as she keeps a steady rhythm, her hands on your hips as she can‘t keep her eyes from you, how perfect you are for her, her perfect obedient horny little girl. Her hands eventually gently settle on your stomach as she leans down and kisses your neck „I did this baby, fucked a baby in you“ she whispers which causes you to moan harder as her thrusts grow a little bit more desperate. „Fuck- Aggie“ you moan as she kisses your lips again, more desperate now, leaving you aching for more. „Please mommy fuck me like you mean it“ you whimper and that‘s all it takes for her to lose any kind of restraint she had left.

Her hips slam into you at a ruthless pace, as she lifts one of your legs onto her shoulder, knowing that angle gives her better access and you love it as it leaves you screaming and trembling every time. Your moans fill the bedroom and the only other sound is your wet pussy and Agatha‘s praising as she keeps going, hard now, hitting all the right spots inside you. „Right there“ you cry out, your moans growning more desperate and needy by the minute. „Fuck“ Agatha moans as she can feel herself getting ready to explode. „You‘re so good for me baby, so good to me“ she whispers and you nod, unable to form any coherent words in this moment. But then you whimper „Cum inside me mommy, want you to fill me up“ and god Agatha almost loses it right there.

„Look at me“ she demands, her eyes so gentle despite her voice rough with need. And you do, of course you do „You want mommy to come inside you?“ she asks and you nod desperately before she really picks up the pace, hitting all the perfect spots, resulting in your moans to turn into screams, her whole body on fire. „That‘s it baby, mommy is gonna fill you up but I need you to look at me okay?“ she asks and you nod again, eyes glued to her. „Baby-" she pants but right then you scream again „Gonna-" and that‘s it, you both snap, Agatha‘s cock shooting her warm cum into you as she rides it out, your pussy squelching and releasing all over her dick.

She eventually collapses onto you, always careful of your tummy of course before her lips kiss you so gentle. „So good baby, god you are so good“ she repeats and you nod, unable to form words as she kisses your cheeks, your forehead, your arms, fingers and tummy. She holds you close before passing a glass of water to your lips, moments later brushing some sweaty hair from your face as she waits until your breathing has calmed again. „You okay?“ she asks and your eyes meet hers before you whisper „Perfect Aggie“ with a smile that takes her breath away, because there you are again, looking at her filled with love instead of that fear she has seen for the last twenty four hours.

„How about I clean you up and we have that dinner hm? gotta feed my baby mama“ she murmurs before you giggle and nod and take her hand. Before you both reach the bathroom, you pause and Agatha turns around „I love you Agatha“ you say, so seriously, without a single doubt and it causes her breathing to hitch. „I love you too, so much, both of you“ she whispers before you pull her into your arms again. „Thank you for not giving up on me“ she whispers and you both only hold on tighter after you whisper. „Never“.

[stayevildarling]

i am surviving, but definitely doing better since i saw you came back (you are back, uh? 🥺)

even tho i must admit i am really late in reading your fics, i am so behind that i haven't even read the natasha one yet 💔

what about you, how are you doing ?? hope life hasn't been too harsh on you during you absence 💛💛

— 🦦

I‘m sorry, that doesn‘t sound too good🥺

I mean I‘m here right now so 🤷🏻‍♀️

aww don‘t worry!! take your time🥰

I mean life has been nothing but harsh but we move on yk?

sending you love🤍

[stayevildarling]

Hii

— 🦦

hi!! how are you?🥰

[stayevildarling]

omg heyyyy i am loving your recent emily fics so i am wondering if you could write a comfort one? it would be much appreciated

Emily Prentiss x Reader- Whispered Secrets

A/N: Thank you very much for this request. I decided to combine a mental health + comfort fic🤍

tw/tags: mention of depression, mention of past trauma, mention of self harm scars, mention of smoking, mention of self harm - please read with care

word count: 5.5k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00, @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez, @ahsatanizgay, @laavaagil, @wtfffisgoingon , @stepintomyworld

The days had grown much colder lately, long warm summer nights replaced by a constant chill in the air and rain randomly appearing throughout the day and making the world outside the BAU office windows just a little more gloomy. Long warm nights outside at Rossi‘s for BBQ‘s with Emily‘s hand never far from your thighs turned into comfortable evenings in front of the TV at your shared home after long work days with either of your cooking or some takeaway containers, her hand still on you, always there, grounding, possessive.

And despite autumn being your favorite season, all the rain and cozy vibes, the pumpkin lattes and halloween decorations everywhere, this time around it didn‘t settle in your chest the way it usually would. The usual relief of summer being over and the heat- because you hated it and your body absolutely couldn‘t cope- just wasn‘t there and Emily noticed. You didn’t run to Starbucks as soon as they announced the pumpkin season for the year, you didn‘t decorate your shared apartment in pumpkin everything and you hadn‘t even gotten all your favorite autumn sweaters and flannels out yet, the way you usually would this time of years.

Your girlfriend brushed it off at first, assuming it must be the stress from work, despite her being Section Chief of the BAU and that coming with all sorts of problems and stress, she had been doing this for a very long time, longer than she can remember. But you are still only a few years in, considerably younger than her and god despite the emotional toll of this job and the trauma you had seen and endured, you were so damn good at this. So damn good that she refused to transfer you once you two became a thing at last. Because there was no way you would waste away at some desk or take a much riskier positions somewhere where she couldn‘t keep her eyes on you during cases or smile faintly when you solved yet another case.

But you had been a little quiet lately, off even and it wasn‘t until JJ mentioned it to her earlier today, that Emily really began worrying. The blonde entered her office with a serious expression and at first Emily assumed it was about the case but when JJ mentioned your name and asked „Is Y/N doing okay?“ something settled in the pit of her stomach, a gnawing concern of all the things she had noticed lately but always brushed off. But it was true, your smile hadn‘t been reaching your eyes lately, there had been moments on cases when you walked into places alone, shielding Emily from gunfire and putting yourself in front of her without thinking twice or even blinking. She noticed you often slept straight after your showers after work, how you barely had been eating the food she made you and how she often found the bed empty around 3am and woke up to you asleep on her chest and the faint smell of cigarette smoke clinging to you.

And god she didn‘t have an issue with that, god knows it had been a vice for her in the past and currently again but she never really questioned why until now. You had the occasional cigarette with her before, after nights spent in tangled sheets with her and you both taking care of each other or at some social event but she never questioned until right now, standing in her office after JJ left why you would sneak away to smoke in the middle of the night. Her eyes travel to your desk and there you are, chatting with one of the other members of the team, typing away on your laptop but she sees it then, that sparkle you used to have isn‘t there and god the concern swallows her under as the guilt of how JJ saw it and not her.

Now she and the blonde had always been close and you three including Garcia became family over the years, often having girl nights together or dinner with Rossi. But damn, Emily is your girlfriend after all and you had been so good to her since getting together, always encouraging her, always massaging her shoulders when the weight of being section chief and the cases piled up. You always took the weight, her doubts, her pain, always a steady and safe shoulder for her to lean on but where the hell had she been? She remembers now suddenly the first time you two had been intimate, how you were so reluctant to take your clothes off and you eventually admitted you have some scars.

God it pained her so much, seeing the faint white lines on your wrist and your fear of her putting it on file because that was definitely a valid concern. But Emily was so good as she listened to your story, one you didn‘t often share and how it was years ago, long before the BAU and she believed every word, not because the lines were faint and healed now, no but because of that honesty in your eyes that night. And she worshipped you, both that night when she kissed every one of them but also every day since, when her hand would often linger around them, thumb tracing absentminded circles, whether it was during dinners with people or even at home, no one ever saw it but of course she did and you felt it, every time. And just now she realizes how you had been wearing long sleeves most summer, how she assumed it was due to work and some of the tattoos that you have but right now? in the silence of her office with the words JJ left behind- she‘s terrified.

And before her head can even catch up what she is doing, she walks toward you, her composure steady despite her shaking hands and the faint flicker in her heart of deep concern. She pauses when she sees you typing away on your laptop, your Stanley cup beside you with all the both cute and badass stickers she got you when you were both at the markets that one sunday together . You pause what you are doing and look up only to see a forced smile on her features. „You got a moment?“ she asks and you nod before following her towards her office. She closes the door wordlessly before gesturing towards the seat opposite from her and somehow despite how good of a profiler you are and reading people, especially her, you have no idea what this is about, assuming it‘s just about the case.

„Are you okay darling?“ she asks and you blink caught off guard because this isn‘t Section Chief Emily Prentiss talking to you, this is your Emily talking to you. „Um yeah, why?“ you ask with a puzzled expression before she sighs and by the way she is fidgeting with her hands, you can tell whatever is on her mind is both weighing on her and she also doesn‘t know how to word it, which is a rare case when it comes to her. „I just-" but before she can even explain, the door knocks and despite her muttering „Not now“ someone from the team steps in anyway. Her eyes flicker towards the door in disapproval before the person apologizes „So sorry to interrupt but we have him“ you glance at Emily and neither of you waste another second as she grabs her jacket and you rush to your desk to retrieve your gun and badge.

The car ride is a blur of sirens and them talking you through how they managed to find him, obviously through your lead in the end. Emily‘s eyes keep travelling back to you, all the words still on her mind and her chest heavy with everything unspoken between you two. As soon as you arrive at the scene, a block of apartments, quite run down, you all get out of the car, guns drawn and ready to head to the top floor where the Unsub was indentified to live. But before you even get a chance, JJ points towards a corner and shouts „We‘ve got a runner“ and then you bolt, following the team as you all split up in different directions. Your heart is pounding as you chase him through several yards of peoples back yards, dodging things he is throwing your way and climbing over walls and fences.

A few minutes later you just jumped another fence when you feel someone yanking you hard from behind. You stumble to the floor with a loud thud and your gun clatters to the floor as he is on you. „This way“ Emily shouts as she must have clearly heard the commotion. For some reason, instead of running, his hands grab your collar and yank you hard before letting you go and your head smacks against the dirt path you are laying on hard. You react in time when his fist clenches and you dodge it succesfully before trying to get him off you but damn he is much stronger and heavier than anticipated. Before he can do any actual damage though, the teams voices ring through the air as they tell him to get off you.

Emily is the first to step in and yank him off you, making his body collapse into the nearest wall hard as she gestures for another member of the team to step in and arrest him. JJ helps you to your feet but you mumble you are fine before Emily or any of them even get a chance to fuss. Your entire suit is ruined from dirt, some of it torn and you simply walk back to the original scene like nothing happened, as if you aren‘t covered in a few cuts from the impact and as if the back of your head isn‘t throbbing. The team senses something going on and backs off but Emily is following you, her steps heavy, matching her heart because you aren‘t one to brush things off. „You okay?“ one of the EMT‘s asks as you approach the police cars and ambulance.

You simply mutter a quiet „I‘m fine“ before walking past them but Emily stops you as her hand reaches for your wrist to get you to stop walking. You whince and it doesn‘t go unnoticed as she lets go just a little. „You need to get checked out, you hit the floor pretty hard“ she says, her voice filled with authority but her eyes filled with concern for her girlfriend. „I‘m fine Em really, I just wanna go home“ you plead and her eyes keep travelling back to your body and your eyes because damn she‘s torn. She glances at the EMT, still waiting and she simply nods to them to send them away before taking your hand. „Come on, I‘m taking you home“ she says. „What about the interrogation and finishing the case papers?“ you ask on the way but she couldn’t care less about any of that right now. „That can wait until tomorrow“ she says before opening the passenger door for you.

The ride home is silent, the city blurring past you in the window as Emily drives you both back to the apartment. Her features shine in the moonlight but you can see the concern etching. And god when Emily looks at you, curled up in the passenger seat, your outfit complerely torn, hands bleeding a little from the impact earlier and seeing the pain behind your eyes and the quiet whincing whenever she hits a bump in the road, she knows whatever this is - it‘s far from the case. Because you had never let any unsub touch you like that, no matter how heavy or strong they are. You had never dodged a punch so slowly in your life and you certainly never walked past an ambulance that fast, usually always one to get checked out after scenes like that, not because you necessarily wanted to but to ease her mind and also protocol.

You let your girlfriend lead you upstairs to your shared apartment, Emily dimming the lights a little before standing in the kitchen „Need anything?“ she asks „Water, food, painkillers?“ she asks, still not sure about how your head is doing after how hard you hit the ground before. You shake your head with a small smile that doesn‘t quite reach your eyes „I‘m good- just gonna shower“ you murmur before walking to the bathroom. It takes a few moments of silence before she can hear the sound of the shower running. She takes off her own suit jacket before putting her gun and badge in the locker and then she realizes you never took any clothes or a towel. Emily walks to the bedroom to find you some comfortable pj‘s, a warm towel from the dryer before knocking.

She waits a few seconds before calling out but the water is drowning out all the noise and so she steps inside. When you open your eyes and see the door open you jump, involuntarily and so subtly but of course Emily notices. Her mouth opens then closes as she sets the little pile of clothes and a towel down. „I‘m- sorry I knocked“ she says and you meet her eyes then, already feeling guilty for how you reacted. Her eyes stay on you for a second longer before she turns around but then she catches it, the faint traces of red in the shower and her eyes snap to you. „Are you bleeding?“ she asks, her voice much sharper than she intended it to. „It‘s fine Em, just from earlier“ you say, trying to cover yourself up as best as you can.

„Where?“ she asks and you know if you even remotely tell her the truth she would lose it. „It‘s not a big deal Em“ you try but oh no she isn‘t having that. „Is it your head?“ she asks immediately and you sigh before she steps closer. „I knew it, I knew you were being stubborn and I should have let you get checked I-" she mutters but then her eyes meet yours and she sees you are clearly overwhelmed, a rare sight really as you stand there so bare and so tired from the day and whatever else is weighing on you. „I‘m sorry I-" she tries before turning around. Before she can leave you whisper a quiet „Em wait“ and she turns around immediately. „Just let me finish and get dressed okay?“ you plead and she swallows hard and nods before stepping out of the room and leaving the door a little ajar.

It doesn‘t take long before you are showered and dressed again and you quietly step into the bedroom, where she is sitting at the bottom of the bed. Her hands are folded in her lap and her features are filled with concern and you feel so bad, never wanting to worry her or add to her already busy plate. „Hey“ you whisper, pulling her out of her thoughts as her eyes immediately travel to you. „I- it was just a little blood from earlier but I promise I‘m fine now“ you reassure and she glances at you then, a hint of relief in her features. „Can I- I see?“ she asks and you nod before hesitantly stepping forward. The back of your head is turned to her and there is quite a deep gash at the back of your head towards your neck. You whince as her fingers ghost over the wound and she immediately apologizes.

„Did you clean it?“ she asks carefully and you nod before explaining „I cleaned it and put my hair up so it can breathe“. She nods before her hands land on your waist, gently turning you towards her. „Is it hurting a lot?“ she asks, her eyes searching yours as you immediately shake your head. She searches your eyes properly and sees no hint of a lie and so she swallows hard before pulling you into her arms. You practically melt into her and it doesn‘t take long before the older woman walks you towards the bed and pulls you onto her chest. „What a day“ she sighs and you nod into her chest as you listen to the steady rhythm of her heart. „I swear when I saw that fucker on you I wanted to-" she stops herself in time and you let out a soft sigh, one filled with agreement and also utter sleepiness.

„I‘ve been meaning to-" she begins, wanting to get back to the conversation she tried to have in her office with you before and what initially caused her concern but she stops herself when she hears the little soft noises escaping you as sleep already pulled you under. She sighs a little, not at you, never at you but the fact that today was that rough on you that you passed out without dinner or the opportunity to talk to her. She‘s mad at the world for interrupting the moment in her office earlier and equally how she never caught this sooner. JJ‘s words swirl in her mind as well as her own concern that keep increasing especially with how today has been. Emily lays awake for several more hours, listening to your steady breathing and holding you tight and safe against her chest.

The night passes in a quiet haze as Emily eventually falls asleep still holding you. She only scoots out of bed about an hour before your usual alarm. She‘s very gentle and careful as she slips out of your arms in order not to wake you. With the softest touch, she wraps the blanket around you and lets you sleep as she quietly prepares some breakfast for you two. Usually with how the workload is at the moment, the two of you would grab to go coffee on the way or stop at a bakery during lunch but she has been meaning to talk to you and so she opted for making you breakfast instead, preparing some oats, orange juice and sandwiches, cut up just the way you like it.

By the time you shuffle out of bed, woken up by your alarm and get dressed, Emily is just finished, sitting at the table and waiting patiently for you to get ready. When you eventually step out, eyes still a little sleepy, you are instantly awake when you see the scene in front of you. „Em“ you whisper as your head tilts a little and she simply gives you a warm smile before patting her lap. „You never ate dinner last night, thought I‘d make you breakfast“ she mumbles and you don‘t hesitate as you sit on her lap and she leads the glass of orange juice to your mouth. „Thanks for this“ you whisper as you take a big sip. „I‘m sorry for passing out like that“ you apologize but her hands only pull you tighter into her hold. „Don‘t be sorry sweetheart, yesterday was a lot“ she murmurs. Before the two of you can enjoy the moment any further, Emily‘s phone rings and she groans because the two of you know exactly what this means.

„We gotta go in now“ she sighs and you nod before grabbing the sandwiches and your bag. „We can eat them on the way“ you say with a small smile and Emily nods as she reaches for her own things. You follow her into the car and she begins driving, the silence is comfortable as you eat your sandwich and Emily takes a few bites, trying to decide whether now may be the moment to finally adress what she has been meaning too but damn. She didn‘t wanna do it in the car, not in the early morning rush of things and so she opts for the comfortable silence instead, taking a few bites of the breakfast she made and when she finishes her hand protectively on your leg as always.

And Emily had no idea that she should have adressed it that morning because the days following ended up being just as chaotic as the one before. The cases are piling up and neither of you even had a minute to breathe. In the mornings you would go in early or she would, taking turns depending when you‘d get a call. In the evening you would pass out from exhaustion in bed, the older woman unable to bring anything up. And damn the office was so busy, neither of you had a moment together or yourselves really. Emily was constantly on phone calls or navigating cases and you had been wrapped up in several of them, chasing leads, interviewing witnesses and being your usual badasses profiler self.

But whenever she did catch a glimpse of you during the day, seeing you through the window during an interview, seeing you work at your desk or even in bed at night, she could see what JJ was talking about. You weren‘t just stressed and focusing on work, you were quiet. Not when it came to work, never then but your smile never reached your eyes anymore in the rare moments of some small talk with the team. Your hands trembled a lot during the day and she noticed. In the night your usual sleeping noises were replaced with a different kind, haunting kinds and god she hated this. Hated not having a moment to talk to the love of her life how you had been doing, whether her concerns were valid and if you needed anything.

And god you did. You had been drowning. Drowning in the years of trauma and pain before meeting Emily, bits she doesn‘t even know about. The pressure of being a profiler at a younger age, seeing things and walking into scenes no one should ever have to walk into. And of course the pressure of being with her. She is everything and you are so aware of how people look at her, even ones from the team. She is a walking goddess and you are just you, you with the same insecurities you have been having since you were a teenager and never really went away. The dark thoughts crept in with a force that you couldn‘t prepare for and then the waves came fast and unstoppable. Waves of pain, thoughts and insecurities that felt impossible to control.

You tried- god you did, staying on top of your meds, occasionally smoking a cigarette when everything got too much or loud. But nothing helped and you really really didn‘t wanna bother Emily, not when everything had been so crazy and busy, unaware that she already knew and had only been waiting for the right moment to talk to you. You tried everyday and god even though you hadn‘t done it in years, the blade stayed tucket on the inside of your suit jacket, just in case, like the worlds unhealthiest tool incase things got too much. And you aren‘t even aware things had hit too much a while ago, the cases, the hiding from Emily, the constant thoughts, the not eating due to there just not being enough time and the nightmares that had been plaguing you every single night now.

You are sitting in the locked bathroom stall inside the BAU restrooms, your hands shaking as they reach for the blade, sleeve already rolled up and the faint scars from years ago barely even showing now. The guilt crushes you, knowing you should talk to Emily, knowing she would be furious. She was so good back then but it was different because you had them before and she chose to love you like that but your head keeps screaming at you that once you do this she will leave you, run and find someone better. At the same time the thoughts are loud, just a few cuts and the pain will end. Your breathing is shallow as your chest feels tight, tears stinging in your eyes as you stare at the little blade in your hands and a whisper escapes you then „What the fuck am I doing?“.

And what the fuck were you doing? sitting in a locked toilet stall at work, pushing the blade against your skin until red lines formed, the feeling both so painful but satisfying at the same time as your thoughts went quiet for the first time in a long time. You acted as if nothing happened, cleaning the blade and tugging it back into your suit pocket, wiping the blood and pulling your sleeve down, washing your hands and splashing your face with some water before drying yourself and going back to your desk. As if nothing happened, as if you didn‘t just relapse with Emily right there in her office, with the team all around their desk working, doing something you know could cost you your career and the love of your life.

The relief didn‘t last long, about an hour after, the guilt crushes you whole as you try to focus on your work, occasionally glancing at Emily in her office, your girlfriend taking turns between phone calls and working on her laptop. You relapsed. The realization startles you as you abruptly stand from your desk, your wrist stinging and feeling wet before walking to the staircase, chest tight and breathing off as you rush towards your secret hideout spot on the roof to smoke, hoping the familiarity of it all and the nicotine could calm you down for now. But god it doesn‘t work, your fingers are trembling, your entire body shaking as you try to control your breathing. You eventually slide down the nearest wall, thoughts going a million miles an hour as you try to make sense of what you did and how the hell you could fix the mess you just started.

And then- like a lifeline in the dark, almost as if she could sense you need her, the door creaks open and Emily appears. She of course knew about your little spot to smoke and she had been watching you in between working and she didn‘t like the way you abruptly left your desk, how you didn‘t ask if she would sneak away for a smoke with you like you usually would. And god when she sees you, slumped against the wall, cigarette shaky between your fingers and your whole chest visibly rising in an effort to breathe, her heart stops because she had never seen you like this before, this pale, this exhausted and this fucking tired.

„Baby?“ she tries as she approaches and kneels and fuck when you realize that she is standing there, you quickly abandon the cigarette and try to stand, try to compose yourself but your knees and body are far from cooperating as they give in and Emily catches you „Woah hey- slow down“ she instructs gently as she helps steady you. She immediately sinks to her knees before her hands travel to your cheeks. „Breathe with me darling“ she instructs and god her voice is so gentle that your eyes meet hers and she immediately sees the guilt in them. „Don‘t it‘s okay“ she whispers so gently, the concern written all over her face despite her best efforts to stay calm for you. „Just breathe okay?“ she whispers and you nod before she gently pulls you into her chest and makes you mimic her breathing.

Minutes pass of soft reassurances and the occasional hiccup from you before she gently pulls away to get a look at you, her hands never leaving you in the process. „It‘s okay my sweet girl“ she murmurs so gently, so steady it makes your chest tighten more. „It‘s not Em- I" you begin but stop yourself. There is silence for a beat before she encourages you so gently „You can tell me honey, I‘m right here“ she whispers, her eyes never leaving yours. „I can‘t- I fucked up“ you whisper and god the way you say it makes her heart ache because whatever this is, you really had been battling it alone. „Honey I promise you, you are okay, you can tell me“ she encourages so calmly despite her heart screaming, wanting and needing to know so she can help you finally.

„I promise you I won‘t be mad“ she carries on, her hands still on your cheeks and rubbing soothing little circles as she is still crouched with you. „I can‘t- I‘m gonna lose everything if I tell you“ you whimper and god that sound is so heartbreaking it knocks the breath from her as her eyebrows furrow. „What do you mean baby? you won‘t lose anything“ she tries but you are shaking your head vividly. „I‘m gonna lose you and the job“ you hiccup and god thats all the confirmation she needs what she had been fearing. You relapsed and god it hurts, it hurts her that she didn‘t know, didn‘t see- well she did but she didn‘t step in fast enough, let work be the priority again and delay this conversation she has been trying to have with you for over a week now.

She‘s angry, at herself, never at you, at the universe for causing her perfect angel so much pain. „Can I see?“ she eventually asks so quiet and gentle and thats when your eyes force open and meet hers, your mouth hanging open a little because she figured it out before you even said it out loud. Emily is already gently tugging at your sleeve, needing to see how bad it is, wanting so badly to take care of you. You freeze, letting her pull your sleeve up and god when she sees the little red marks, not bad, her heart shatters. Because she let it get this far, she let you hurt alone and in silence rather than step in and hold you through the storm that had been brewing for weeks now. „God I‘m sorry“ she whispers and your eyebrows furrow immediately. „Em- I- I am sorry“ you say immediately, your hands holding onto her tighter.

„I fucked up, I ruined everything and I let you down“ you cry „I should have came to you but everything got so much and now you‘re gonna leave me and I‘m gonna lose the job and-" but before you can even carry on, she stops you immediately. „No“ she says firmly „Don‘t do that. I fucked up baby, I saw something was off and I didn‘t make the fucking time for this. For you. You are not gonna lose me, you hear me? and I will not let you loose this career, not on my watch“ she says and your eyes immediately tear up again at hearing her words. „You won‘t- report it?“ you ask, so small and sad it knocks the breath out of her as she shakes her head. „No way“ she says firmly as she pulls you into her chest. „You didn‘t mess up babygirl, the world messed up and let you down“ she whispers as she holds you so close it‘s hard to breathe.

„You have been fighting so hard, I have seen it okay? and we are gonna get you help but I promise you, you will never lose me or your career okay?“ she asks and you nod into her chest even if the words are hard to believe right now. „But you deserve so much better, someone that isnt“ you begin but she immediately stops you „Don‘t“ she says firmly. „You are the most important person in the world to me okay? No one else sees me like you do, no one carries me like you do, no one steadies me like you do okay? and now it‘s my turn to do what I should have done a long time ago“ she says. You blink up at her as she helps steady you „I‘m taking you home, I‘m gonna clean you up and we are gonna talk and light pumpkin candles and drink pumpkin spice lattes while you can cry and tell me everything okay?“ she asks.

You are speechless for a moment because you hadn‘t even noticed it was autumn really and the fact that she did and noticed how you hadn‘t done any of your usual activities, makes your heart swell. „But what about work?“ you ask and she chuckles then „Baby, I‘m section chief for a reason, I‘m calling us both out for the rest of the day and week if you need to“ she says. As she helps you up, you look at her, bottom lip trembling a little as you hold onto her hand so tight „Thanks Em“ you whisper and she simply pulls you closer before kissing your temple „You are so brave but now let me take care of you okay?“ she asks and you nod as she wipes your tears and leads you downstairs. Because one thing was for sure, Emily wasn‘t gonna make this mistake again, let work get in the way of the person closest to her and she would never let you suffer again like this in silence.

[stayevildarling]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader- Let down

A/N: I honestly have no idea how I got this random idea but I missed writing for Nat🤍

tw/tags: established relationship, female reader, mention of violence, mention of blood, mention of past trauma/abuse, lots of angst

word count: 6k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00, @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay, @laavaagil, @wtfffisgoingon, @stepintomyworld

The day started like any other really, both you and Natasha woke up to the sound of alarms, the redhead groaning before pulling you into her arms and begging you to skip the mission and you telling her, like always, that it‘s just a quick one and at least you‘ll be together. And so reluctantly, your girlfriend got out of bed and walked into the bathroom to shower while you made some coffee and light breakfast to prepare for the mission, as neither of you really ate a lot beforehand. You both ate and drank mostly in silence, some mission talk here and there and the occasional stolen glance because god- it‘s been well over a year but Natasha still looks at you like the day she finally admitted to you that she loved you and wants you to be hers.

The quinjet hummed shortly after as she took you both to your destination, supposedly a quick one, in and out, gathering some intel for Tony to bring this syndicate down. Natasha and you had been doing this for years now, ever since her and her sister first blew up the Redroom and rescued everyone. She took you in, making sure Tony would recruit you. And for some reason she made sure to train you personally, make sure you get your own place in the compound and that this was truly what you wanted. Everyone could feel the soft spot she had for you, even if showing her feelings was just something Natasha never really did. Until you came, god she stumbled over her words back then like a drunk teenager, her usual composure slipping.

But it took years, over three years in total of you actually doing so well that Tony wanted you to join the team, countless missions, some solo with Tasha and some quiet nights after. A lot of encouragement from Clint to finally tell you and a lot of drunk nights where she replayed the words in her head before finally telling you. It‘s quiet between you two because neither of you really needed to say anything. You knew how you both worked alongside each other on missions, you always having her back and Natasha so damn overprotective if anyone ever got near you. That‘s why you two worked so well, you knew each others moves and words before they even happened.

„You good?“ she asks with that teasing little smile once she lands and you both get ready to infiltrate the area. You nod with that knowing smile, the one you always give her before missions, one that speaks lengths. And the two of you work effortlessly alongside each other, getting into one of the side entrances like planned, Natasha making sure the guy on duty is passed out before he even notices you two. Then you gather the information Tony needs before walking back to the Quinjet. But before you even get the chance, you feel a dull ache at the back of your head and then everything goes black as you sink to the ground, the last thing you see is Tasha equally hitting the ground beside you as someone clearly managed to sneak up behind you two. Which never really happened, not to you two anyway.

„Wake up“ the sound barely registers, everything black and your ears ringing, head pounding as you feel something sticky and warm on the back of your head. „Y/N wake up now“ and that‘s when Natasha‘s voice registers, filled with something desperate, concern and maybe fear, which is something she barely ever shows like that. Your eyes force open and when you blink groggily from the inpact of whoever hit you, you tense as you realize you are chained to a chair, Natasha beside you in a cold and grey room. „What the- fuck“ you whisper before she gives you a reassuring look despite the panic. „This asshole must have sneaked up on us“ she mutters, her head gesturing towards the door. „Just stay calm“ she whispers and you wonder whether she is truly saying that to you or maybe herself, because this wasn‘t the first time either of you have been captured and this surely wouldn‘t be the last time considering what you both do for a living.

It takes seconds before the sound of a lock turns your attention to a big metal door and then a man steps inside, tall, kinda weirdly big but also muscly. You assume russian possibly by his accent as he mutters „Finally awake“. You glance at Natasha, watching how she is trying so hard to undo the chains behind her back but god its useless. The metal is relentless, not moving a single inch. „I assume the great Tony Stark must have sent you both“ he mutters before Natasha‘s face twists in disgust. „I wonder what his reaction will be like when I send both of your heads back“ he chuckles lowly which sends a wave of anger and disgust through you as you try yourself to get rid of the chains but it‘s useless.

He circles behind you, footsteps echoing in slow and deliberate thuds from his huge boots. You don‘t flinch, you have done this many times before but your stomach coils. You feel the way his eyes are glued to you, hungry with power and somehow that makes it worse. „You‘re quiet“ he murmurs near your ear, his breath smelling like smoke. „Not like her“ he teases, gesturing towards Natasha whos jaw is clenched so hard as he gets near you. „She‘s famous, the widow, a killer“ he goes on. He taps something on the table behind you and then the scrape of metal follows, long and drawn out, enough to send a shiver down your spine and make Natasha fight the restrains harder.

„But you“ his voice darkens „Who are you? are you more red room trash, kept for decoration? or does he let you play soldier too?“ he teases which causes Natasha to snap „Shut up“. He just laughs „You don‘t get to give orders here sweetie“ he chuckles lowly before he drops a small duffel bag onto the floor with a thud that sounds dense, like metal clinking inside. He unzips it slowly, teasingly slow and starts pulling things out, laying them across from you on the floor like he‘s setting a table. There‘s a knife, a pair of thick rubber gloves, jumper cables, a red hot iron bar. „Oh look“ he grins, voice tilting with false innocence „even brought a soldering pen, how very thoughtful of me“.

Your jaw tightens but you keep your chin up, you had been tortured more times you can count and this wasn‘t going to change anything now, other than that the love of your life was right there and if anything, you do not want her having to see that. Natasha‘s breathing shifts beside you, subtly so only you can hear but god you can tell she‘s fighting the urge to explode on him. „You both act so brave“ he sneers „But I wonder if you will still look that smug with your skin peeled off or your tongue on the floor“.

Then he crouches down, his face way too close to yours „Stark‘s little girls, that‘s all you are. I bet he sent you out because he didn‘t have the balls to come himself“ he mutters, his russian accent now undeniable. „Maybe he thought a couple of pretty faces would get the job done, should have sent real men“ he snarls which causes you to clench your fists behind your back, your wrists already raw as you want nothing more than to beat that fucking smirk off his face. But you keep your glare steady, because right now? it‘s the only thing you can control.

He rises again, turning his attention to Natasha „So you said she was just a recruit before yeah? that I should spare her because she‘s not worth it?“ he repeats her earlier words when you were still passed out from the initial blow. „Yeah“ Natasha confirms calculated and your eyebrows furrow at what she‘s doing. „She isn‘t worth your time or even being here, she never even gets to be in the same room as Tony, so if you want someone, take me. I‘m the black widow after all“ she mutters and god your blood is boiling because why the hell is she choosing to play the hero right now?

„Unless“ he says, reaching into his coat and pulling out a small pistol, black, compact and efficient. „Maybe she isn‘t a recruit, maybe I should test that“ he says almost proudly. Without hesitating, he raises the gun and points it squarely at your forehead. Natasha‘s heart is pounding out of her chest. „If she‘s a recruit, prove it, hit her, hurt her, show me she‘s truly worthless, otherwise, I‘ll kill her right here and right now“ he mutters, his voice ice cold by now. Your eyes immediately snap to Natasha, fighting the urge to speak because this wasn‘t the way, this had never been the way and you don‘t understand why she‘s suddenly playing the recruit card because god she should know you can take it, you have been taking this stuff for years being an Avenger.

You don’t even breathe as he presses the gun closer to your forehead, feeling the faint tremor in your limbs, not because this was necessarily scary to you, you had guns pointed at you before, you are trained after all and faced worse but this time, Natasha is here and god she can‘t stop this. „Take the gun off her“ she hisses, her voice low, controlled and dangerous. He doesn‘t move, just smiles „You know how this works Romanoff, you have been on this side before haven‘t you? I bet it almost feels nostalgic“ he smirks which god if only she wasn‘t cuffed, he would be dead already.

She flinces barely and even though he can‘t see it, you can. That subtle twitch in her jaw, the way her knuckles tighten behind her back. You know what this is doing to her, what it costs her to just stand there and not be able to protect you. „Don‘t do this“ she says, voice a little raspy now. „She‘s not important, she‘s new, she isn‘t even cleared for solo op status yet, hence why she is with me“ she explains, hoping he wouldn‘t catch her lies and let this go. You glare at her because you know what she is doing, know the game but fuck - her words cut so deep, hearing her say it like that.

He chuckles dryly, slowly lowering his weapon before turning back to the redhead. „Then prove it“ he says. „Hit her“ he says and her head whips to him so fast, matching you. „One good hit, enough to bleed and prove to me you would leave her behind“. The silence that follows grows so thick you almost choke on it. Natasha doesn‘t move, doesn‘t look at you, just stares at him. And when your eyes finally meet hers, her expression kills you. It‘s not fear, it‘s guilt already, hate for him, hate for herself and maybe even for you because she knows you will never look at her the same after this mission.

Still she doesn‘t move and his gun raises again, clearly sensing her hesitation. „Fine“ she mutters before he chuckles in success, getting rid of her chains quickly, all while pointing the gun at you, from a distance she couldn‘t reach him to try anything funny. Her breath shrudders and then she moves, one reluctant step forward, then another. She stands right in front of you now and you brace yourself, not because you don‘t trust her but because you know he would notice if she didn‘t hit you hard enough, know you would probably both end up dead. Her fist clenches and she mouths the words „Forgive me“ so he can‘t see it.

And then she punches you, hard and full force. The pain immediately explodes across your face. You bleed immediately, the crack echoing through the room as your head jerks to the side, the blood staining your lips, chin and staining your uniform fast. You don‘t even make a sound as he chuckes and presses the gun to your forehead, making sure Natasha gets back into the chains and not try anything on him. You sit there with your head bowed, blood dripping and swalloing the burn behind your eyes. „There it is, the black widow, knew you still had it in you“ he chuckles. From the corner of your eyes you can see Natasha trying so desperately to make eye contact but god you can‘t even look at her.

There is silence for a few moments before the door explodes inward in a burst of smoke, the boom rattling the walls and causing the guy to turn around so fast. You flinch on instinct as your head snaps up to your team arriving, arms raised to fire but he doesn‘t even stand a chance against them. Steve is the first to get to him, eyes locked on him as he pathetically lifts his gun but a split second later, he is already on the floor. „Target confirmed“ you hear Sam‘s voice „We got em Tony“.

„Undo these fucking chains right now“ Natasha shouts as Steve immediately goes to her and the second she is free, she is all over the guy, her fists unlashing a fury, none of them have seen in years. He is bleeding and whincing within seconds and she doesn‘t hesitate when she reaches for her weapons and unleashes everything she had been wanting to do since he ever even looked at you. You blink back, trying to make sense of the chaos, your head spinning as the blood loss and pain are getting worse by the minute. Then chains rattle and Wanda is in front of you, crouched low and moving urgently as she takes in your state. „Hey it‘s over“ she says gently, trying to reach for you.

But you don‘t let her touch you, you simply stand, walking towards the exit, towards the Quinjet, ignoring the pounding in your head or the blood still dripping, ignoring Wanda shouting behind you or Natasha following you once she‘s finished with the guy and he stopped breathing. As the quinjet doors close behind you all, sealing off the wreckage, no one speaks. Natasha slumps into one of the seats, unable to even look at you as Wanda tries again to clean you up „Don‘t, I‘m fine“ you hiss but god everyone knows you aren‘t fine and most of all Natasha as the guilt eats her alive, your face burnt into her memory after she hit you.

By the time the jet lands and you are back inside, you walk right past Tony who stares at your state, you move on instinct, down the hall, elevator and at last the door to your shared apartment. It should feel safe, being back at home but it doesn‘t, not even close. You don‘t stop, you walk straight to the bathroom, peeling off your soaked shirt, your skin sweaty and bloody as you lock the door and head into the shower. The second you are under the hot water, your knees buckle a little and you have to hold onto the tiled wall, breathing hard in order not to lose it. The water is hot and god your face stings like hell but you keep going, wanting nothing more than for today to be over.

You lose track of time, drying yourself, carefully wiping the remainders of blood away before putting on a hoodie and sweatpants from the clean laundry basket in the corner. You grip the doorhandle tight, breathing deep before opening the door and step into the bedroom before you stop. Natasha is there, standing by the bed in her undershirt and still wearing her tac pants, arms crossed tightly over her chest like she‘s physically trying to hold herself together. The guilt is written all over her face and when her eyes meet yours, god its all right there in the way she looks at you.

But just as quickly you look away because her touch still burns „I-" she starts but her voice breaks „Please, just- can you look at me?“ she whispers but you don‘t speak, don‘t move before walking into the kitchen, physically needing to be away from her right now. She follows after you before speaking again „Detka I“ she says so softly it nearly kills you but she can feel the shift before you do, the way your hand grips the counter, your suddenly pale cheeks and the way your eyes dart around the room helplessly. „Woah- hey are you“ but before she can even finish, you are already stumbling backwards and hitting the floor hard.

The moment your body hits the floor, her entire face drains „Y/N baby“ she screams as she drops to her knees, her hands fumbling to catch your head before it hits the floor too hard. You are completely pale and limp in her arms and her fingers press to your throat, desperate for a pulse. It‘s there, faint but rapid and god the relief is immediate. „FRIDAY, medical emergency, alert med bay now“ she screams before she wordlessly takes you in her arms and runs.

„Come on baby, come on“ she whispers as she holds you close to her chest, running so fast to the med wing. „Don‘t do this baby, not like this please“ she pleads as she rounds the corner with you in her arms. Her heart is pounding and she can‘t stop seeing it, the punch, your face and how you just collapsed like that. She realistically knows what this is, shock, blood loss, too much and too fast but god. She has seen this happen to civilians, recruits and other Avengers, how the body just quits but god this is you.

„I‘m so fucking sorry, I didn‘t want to do it. I didn‘t wanna touch you like that. God I‘d never-„ her breath hitches „You don‘t look at me like that, you have never looked at me like that before“ she whispers as her breath hitches again. Just then she rushes into med bay, the night nurse already rushing toward you both. „She passed out“ Natasha says, trying to sound composed but it shatters anyway „She- she was hurt on a mission, had a bad nose bleed, she went pale and just“ Natasha explains before the nurse rushes her to put you on the nearest bed.

The nurse kneels beside you instantly before attaching you to machines and looking at the monitors „She‘s in vasovagal shock, her system is overloading and her blood pressure bottomed out“ she explains calmly before reaching for an IV and fluids „She‘s gonna be just fine“ the nurse tries reassuring Natasha but god her face is filled with panic and concern. She stands there, holding your hand so tight it would hurt if you could feel it, she keeps whispering your name, her heart begging you to open your eyes.

The nurse works quietly around you, getting you settled and getting a chair and some water for Natasha before she is satisfied and leaves you both be, still in reach if you or her need anything at all. Hours go by, terrifying hours where Natasha simply sits there, clutching your hands, whispering apologies and explaining herself over and over again but you don‘t stir, completely knocked out by the medicine and the day you‘ve had. Natasha‘s legs bounce up and down with anxiety and nerves because she knows this wasn‘t a quick fix, she knows she hurt you and god despite the reason and that she tried to save your life and buy time until the others arrived, because she knew they would, she knows you may not forgive her for this.

And the worst thing is, the redhead swore to you she would never hurt you, she swore she wouldn‘t be like her reputation and god she has never hurt you, she‘d occasionally lash out at you during a rare argument but she had never once laid a hand on you and that way you looked at her, terrified, like so many people had in the past. She‘s so wrapped up in her thoughts that she doesn‘t even realize you stirring and your eyes snapping open. You immediately flinch away from her touch before feeling the IV needle and almost immediately your hands fumble over it.

„Detka- baby no- no don‘t“ she tries as she immediately gets up and takes your hands so you can‘t pull it out. „Get it out- get it the fuck out“ you scream panicked before the nurse comes rushing back in. „Alright, alright“ the nurse says calmly as she urgently moves to remove the IV quickly. You stand immediately and Natasha rises too, trying to get you to not stand too fast and avoid you passing out again. „Baby you passed out“ she explains „I took you here, I didn‘t know what to do“ she confesses but you don‘t even look at her, you just turn to the nurse, giving her a polite and thankful nod for her work before walking off, leaving a very stunned Natasha behind as you would never usually leave her standing there like that, never like that.

The nurse gives her an empathetic smile before cleaning your bed and getting rid of the monitors, clearly able to tell there was something going on between you. Natasha stands there for two more seconds before she blinks and follows you fast, past the corridors and back to your shared place. You are standing by the kitchen counter, fists clenched as you hold onto the counter as if it could stable you and calm the storm of emotions raging inside you. The door opens and closes quietly before she steps in, noticing your posture and how much you are struggling with this. „Detka I swear I didn‘t want to hurt you, I‘m so sorry“ she apologizes as she tries desperately to reach your eyes.

„I just- I couldn‘t let him hurt you, he wouldve- god baby he wouldve done so much worse to you“ she tries begging for your forgiveness and trying to justify her actions and god you know that. „Don‘t you think I know that?“ you suddenly snap, the first time you have said anything since she punched you. „I‘m not made of glass Natasha, I was in the red room too remember? I endured every bit of abuse and trauma you did and then some for Tony‘s dumb missions“ you hiss. There is a bitter silence between you as your words sink in and the tone of your voice cracks Natasha open a little.

„I‘m sorry- I just thought the recruit thing might work and it did but god I didn‘t mean to“ she tries again but you stop her from going further. „I know that Natasha but I would have rather taken his fucking torture than your fist“ you mutter which sends another pang of guilt to her chest. „Full force too, I can‘t believe you did that. I can‘t believe you thought that was the way“ you whisper as your shoulders slump. She steps forward then, still far away but needing to physically be closer. „Baby- I know but if I didn‘t he would have tortured or shot you and fuck I can‘t lose you, not like that“ she whispers which somehow only makes the emotions bubble out of you faster.

„Well Nat, I would have rather been fucking tortured or dead then have you hit me like that. I trusted you- you aren‘t supposed to do that. And god- I have been tortured loads in the red room and for Tony‘s dumb missions and you never cared, so why now?“ you demand. And god its true, you came home battered and bruised before and of course she cared and patched you up and shouted at Tony afterwards but she realizes now that what she did was so damn selfish because the only reason she did it was so she didn‘t actually have to watch you get tortured in front of her eyes.

The silence between you is defeating as you immediately regret saying she never cared because of course she fucking did and it‘s not what you meant but god she knows exactly what you meant and it‘s true. Without another word, you walk over to the sofa in the living room, reach for a blanket and finally lay down, the mission and today having drained you beyond anything. Natasha just stands there, quiet, her heart aching. She doesn‘t move for a long time, not while you toss and turn trying to find an ounce of comfort but once your breathing eventually evens out, she tiptoes to the living room and sits on the floor cross legged, not close enough to touch, god shes knows not to do that right now but close enough to be there if you would wake and need anything as the guilt is eating her alive.

When early morning evenually rolls around, the apartment still dark and your eyes slowly open, every ounce of your body is in pain but the worst thing is seeing her sit there, asleep by now but never having left your side and god it makes your chest tighten because that‘s exactly who Nat is to you, the version you fell for but you can’t unsee it. And so, you quietly shuffle to the bedroom, getting changed into your workout clothes before tip toeing out the door, not wanting to wake her, partially to avoid more confrontation but mostly because you feel bad because she must have barely gotten any sleep.

Once in the training room, the punching bag swings violently from your fists. There is no rage behind your movements, just pain as you try to feel something, anything. Your knuckles begin bruising fast but you don‘t even flinch, you don‘t wear gloves this time because you just don‘t care. Wanda watches from the corridor for a while but says nothing, she has seen this kind of quiet before, she knows better than to try with you right now.

Inside the apartment, Natasha sits on the sofa, knees drawn to her chest and a cup of coffee nearby that has long gone cold. She had showered, changed, of course noticed your absence but knowing better than to chase you, knowing exactly where you are right now. The knock on the door is soft but startles her nevertheless. She doesn‘t move or answer at first. „It‘s Wanda“. Natasha sighs through her nose, stands slowly and unlocks the door. Wanda stands there, hair pulled back and the concern quite literally radiating from her. „Can I come in?“ she asks gently.

Natasha nods and moves aside before sitting cross legged in the same spot she had all morning. Wanda lets the moment settle before she speaks. „Nat, what the hell happened on that mission?“. There is a quick silence before the witch carries on speaking „I just saw her in the gym, she‘s not okay, I‘ve never seen her like that“. The redhead takes a deep breath, her hands shaking as she grips the edge of the sofa „He.. he told me to hit her“ she admits and Wanda immediately frowns. „What?“ she asks, almost as if she didn‘t hear the words properly or they just won‘t register in her brain.

„Gun to her head. I told him she was a recruit to save her and he said to prove it, otherwise he would kill her, right there and god- that bastard would have done it. So I did it, I hit her full force and I‘m sure I broke her nose“ the black widow admits and jesus- Wanda and the others expected a few things but not this. She just stares at her, horrified but not in judgement just the weight of those words settling in. „You should have seen the look on her face, like she didn‘t even recognize me“ Natasha carries on, eyes sinking to the floor.

Wanda nods slowly, letting the words settle before she says „She‘s not angry Nat“. The redhead looks up startled before asking „what?“. Wanda looks at her, having known you both for years before repeating „She‘s not angry, she‘s heartbroken, there‘s a difference“. That hits the Avenger harder than any punch she had ever taken before. She looks down, blinking rapidly, her jaw tight at the raw honesty in Wanda‘s words. „She trusted me, said she would have taken the torture instead and- god the worst part is I believe her“ Natasha whispers, tears stinging in her eyes.

Wanda leans forward, knowing its rare to see the redhead like this „So do I“ she whispers, knowing there is no point in sugar coating this. „She‘s not just grieving the hit, she‘s grieving you and what she thought you both had. What you‘ve been through together. That hit Tash? it shattered her safety“. Natasha‘s eyes are glassy „How do I fix it?“ she asks so raw and vulnerable that Wanda doesn‘t recognize her for a second. „You don‘t. Not all at once, maybe not ever but you can start by being the version of you she loves and the one who made her feel safe before“ Wanda explains.

After Wanda leaves, several days pass of silence between you and Natasha. She gives you space but is always nearby in case you would need her or finally break. She would still sleep on the floor, not touching, never touching but close enough if you needed her at night. In the morning she leaves you a protein shake and a bar before your workouts, a subtle reminder she‘s thinking of you. And you do the same, her coffee is there every morning the way she likes it when you leave and there is always a pillow and blanket on the floor for her now but you aren‘t ready yet and Natasha- even though it kills her, accepts it, because she knows it‘s the only way she would remotely have a shot at this again.

Team debriefing about the mission a few days later is rough, Tony demands its mandatory and Natasha can see your leg bounce up and down under the table, the way your knuckles go white and how shallow your breathing is. She made sure no one remotely even mentioned the incident with her and of course they didn‘t dare mention it but god she could see it brought every ounce of that day back for you and it killed her how much she wanted to hold and comfort you after but knowing it was too soon. That day was bound to catch up with you because as soon as you fell asleep, the memories trapped their way into your dreams again, the cold sting of her hand, the voices of every person she hurt in your mind, telling you this was exactly how she was and who she was always going to be even with you.

It‘s about 3 am when you wake up with a sharp gasp, immediately scrambling to your feet and backing away as Natasha didn‘t sleep on the floor next to you in the first place, just watching over you instead. „Hey.. hey detka it‘s okay“ she whispers, her hands raised gently as if to say it‘s okay and i‘m not coming near you. Your bottom lip trembles and god you look so small, like the person she saved from the red room, not the strong girl she had grown to love and it kills her more than anything, knowing she was responsible for your pain right now. Your breathing is ragged and she can see how your entire frame is trembling, knees buckling already and god she wants to catch you so badly.

„Please baby- I‘m here- it‘s okay, no one- I swear no one is going to hurt you“ she says as she struggles with her own tears. „I didn‘t mean to hurt you- I just wanted to keep you safe baby- I‘m so sorry“ she keeps apologising as you just stare at her, eyes wild and a little frantic as the nightmare still claws at your tired bones. Theres a defeating silence as Natasha wonders if you will ever trust her again or if the act of saving you from the torture of the mission by hitting you may have inevitably driven you away for good. And when she sees you like this she wishes she would have handled it differently, even though the other scenarios would have ended so much worse for you.

„Nat“ you whimper and god the sound is so broken that it cracks the usual tough woman wide open. „Yes detka? I‘m right here“ she repeats as she dares take a step closer. „It hurts so bad“ you cry and her eyes immediately close because she knows and she wishes she could take every ounce of it. „Detka- I know baby- I know it hurts and god I‘m so sorry. I would- baby I‘m sorry“ she keeps apologising as the tears are already running down her cheeks. „You hit me“ you whimper and that‘s it, her own knees buckle before she catches herself in order to take care of you right now.

„I know you did it to protect me and part of me gets it but- I‘m scared“ you admit and she‘s so proud then because that‘s exactly who she fell for, this honest and god damn fighting version of you. „I know baby- and I‘m gonna regret this forever okay? But please I can‘t stand seeing you like this? please can I hold you?“ she begs. You blink at her before you nod and as soon as you do, her breath catches and she surges forward into your arms, before you sink to your knees and she sinks right down with you. Her hands are on your face immediately, brushing your hair back and cupping your cheeks.

„That‘s it detka, it‘s okay, I have got you now okay?“ she cries as she kisses your forehead like her life depends on it, breathing in your scent as she had been terrified she wouldn‘t get to hold you ever again. „I‘m here okay? I‘m sorry.. so sorry“ she keeps repeating and you just nod into her chest as the first sob breaks from you. „I‘m sorry- I didn‘t mean to push you away“ you cry but she immediately shakes her head. „No don‘t- don‘t apologize baby- you did nothing you hear me?“ she says fiercly as her eyes lock with your teary ones. „You- fuck you were so brave- you let me in just now and I- god I love you“ she cries before holding you so tight it actually hurts but neither of you care.

Because yes, the love of your life may have let you down but you both know it was to protect you and you equally know you would have done worse if it came to saving Tasha. And while it may have took a while you are both so relieved, you that she is still there and Natasha that you let her in again. She rocks you gently in her arms, in the middle of the night on the cold floor, anchoring you right back, away from the terror of the night and her actions as she soothes you, pouring every ounce of love and protectiveness into her hold on you. „I‘m gonna fix this detka, I swear to you“ she murmurs and you nod into her chest as you cry hard. And despite the sobs, the tears and pain- for now she‘s here and god Natasha will never, ever let you down like that again.

[stayevildarling]

Aww I get that, same here💔 but I'm doing good! I hope everything goes a little easier for u tho🫶

-🤍

thank you❤️

[stayevildarling]

The Emily fics are 🙏🙏 ugh so hot I loved them‼️

Also how are u!! Ur back again and dropping all these fabulous fics (which we LOVE) but how is life? Is everything good atm <3

-🤍

thank you!!🫶🏼

I‘m alright, life‘s insane tbh but yk 🤷🏻‍♀️ how about you?❤️

[stayevildarling]

Can i request a bottom g!p reader with Emily that has been teasing her the whole day?

Emily Prentiss x Reader- Tease

A/N: thanks for this request🤍

tw/tags: established relationship, bottom g!p reader, top Emily, semi public sex, lots of teasing, mention of pre cum, mention of unprotected sex, mention of cumshot, mommy kink, pure filfthy smut

word count: 2.7k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00, @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay, @laavaagil, @wtfffisgoingon

As soon as you step into the large ballroom for the fancy fbi dinner/event, your eyes roam for your partner Emily. There‘s so many people but your eyes find hers immediately, standing there with the other agents from your unit the BAU. She’s being her usual section chief self, laughing with the others, her composure speaking lengths, she‘s sipping some wine. And god when you see her, she‘s elegance and grace combined. She‘s wearing a black dress, revealing some of her back and neck, every curve and feature looking perfect.

You last saw her just this afternoon, when she headed to your shared home to get ready for the night, you insisting on finish some paperwork and getting ready at work because you took your suit with you. And even though she was your boss, you didn‘t listen when she told you to come home and get ready with her. You stand frozen for a second because god she‘s perfect. Her dark grey hair is shining and her skin is literally glowing. She‘s beauty and grace and authority combined and it definitely does something to you.

Almost as if she could hear your thoughts, she turns in just that moment, eyes trailing over you standing there, a white shirt, black suit combo that makes you look absolutely handsome. She smiles ever so faintly before she waves you over and just then you snap out of it as you walk towards her and the others, your eyes practically glued to her slightly exposed shoulder. Her lipstick is dark and you have never wanted to kiss her so desperately like you do in this moment. You swallow it down when you finally reach her, her hand instinctively moving to your back as the others greet you. „Hi baby“ she whispers as her mouth ghosts near your ear and you swallow hard in order not to lose it right there.

Dinner is mostly case talk and some small talk here and there with over agents from your unit but one of Emily‘s hands remains under the table the entire time on your thigh like it means absolutely nothing. Every time you shift in your seat, trying to adjust yourself subtly, she simply presses down a little harder, her fingernails tracing your skin through your trousers. Then she would smile sweetly at Hotch like she wasn‘t responsible for your hard-on beneath your underwear. „You‘re quiet“ she murmurs, eyes teasing „Everything okay baby?“ and god you know that tone, know that damn voice that she does when she knows exactly what she is doing to you.

And Emily had known all day, teasing you at the office about how fun it would be to sneak away during the gala dinner and have some fun somewhere. How you would look so good in your suit, how she would wear something special for you, let alone the spicy texts she had sent you over the last few hours. You are barely keeping it together, some sweat forming at your temple while her fingers begin tapping against your zipper. Her hand lingers longer than necessary as her fingers press hard enough to make you twitch. Everytime you would try to wiggle away a little or adjust yourself, she would just tighten her grip and smile so damn wicked and subtly that no one else noticed. To everyone else she was the perfect section chief, polished, calm and utterly composed. But you knew your girlfriend better than that.

As the conversation with Rossi carries on, her fingers begin a slow teasing dance on your waistband, almost if testing your limits. You had been hard for hours and god she can feel the bulge. She glances down briefly, eyes sparkling with amusement and the way you flinch. „You are so quiet“ she whispers again, her voice more of a purr than anything else. „Is something wrong baby?“ she asks before really whispering „Or are you just trying to be a good girl?“.

She slips her hand further after that, fingers teasing the waistband of your slacks, brushing deliberately over your hardness and already feeling a little wet patch there from precum. You swallow thickly, cheeks burning a little as she finds your sensitive spot over your trousers. Her smile just widens mid conversation with the others, almost smug because no one has any clue what‘s going on right now. But you are completely silent, trying not to combust right there in front of your entire unit.

At some point during dessert, her fingers undo your zipper before stroking you for a second and zipping it shut again „If you make a mess here, I‘m going to have to punish you baby“ she leans in. God her breath is so warm against your ear it’s intoxicating and it takes every bit of self restraint to not take her right here or drag her to the nearest bathroom. You jolt a little at her words and Emily simply laughs as everyone else is preoccupied in case talk, leaning back and sipping wine like nothing happened, just the perfect chief, enjoying this game she was clearly winning.

It takes another half an hour before an agent finally asks if Emily would like to join them for a smoke, she rises from her seat and holds her hand out to you but you shake your head quickly, knowing if you now also had to watch her smoke in that absolute addicting and insanely hot way, you would lose it right there on that balcony. She smirks a little, being able to read you so well before leaving with the others. As soon as she is out of sight, you practically run to the nearest bathroom and lock the stall so fast. It takes you minutes to catch your breath because god she played this so well and she got you right where she wanted.

Before you even get to do anything, you hear the door to the bathroom before the sound of familiar heels echo closer and closer until she‘s right by your stall. „Open up baby“ she says teasingly, knowing exactly you are in there and there is no one closeby. You open the door, lips slightly parted, sweat on your forehead and the bulge now very noticeable. Her eyes find it immediately and she steps in with a slight smirk before locking the door behind you both. Your eyebrows dart together as you look at her full of pleading, ache and a slight pout. „Oh baby“ she coos before leaning in to kiss you.

It‘s gentle and sweet almost cooing, not the way she has been teasing you all day. Her breath is warm against your ear, slow and deliberate as she sends a shiver down your spine. Her free hand unzips your trousers and they fall down right there, exposing your soaked boxers and the massive hard on you have right now. „Look at you so hard and desperate for mommy already“ she smirks. You swallow hard as the urge to beg claws at you but Emily was so far from done yet. She presses her body flush against yours, enough to make your knees go weak. „You want it don‘t you?“ she murmurs, lip grazing your jaw. „Say it baby, tell me how much you need me“ she whispers.

Your voice cracks hard „Please Emily.. I need you“ you whimper and god -her smirk then. She finally eases your boxers down, fingers possessively wrapping around your length. Her tongue flicks out in a teasing way before she drops to her knees and she takes you, tracing slow circles around the head, causing your knees to go weak and your head to fall backwards in pleasure. It takes seconds before she takes you into her mouth, so deep and so sure- both teasing and worshipping every inch like you are the only thing in this entire world she desires and wants.

You are drowing in her, your hands instinctively finding her hair as you guide her gently back and forth. Your soft moans mix with her breathing as she bobs her head, keeping her eyes locked on you, watching every single twich, every reaction in absolute control, relentless and utterly addictive. And as soon as she feels the first drops of pre cum, she lets go of you with a pop that sends an aching emptiness through you as you whimper.

She pulls back to look at you as she pushes you onto the closed toilet lid with a satisfied smirk „not yet baby“ she whispers fingers tracing slow circles on your hips. „I want to make sure you are completely mine before I let you have it“ she whispers and that causes you to huff. „But I‘m completely yours Em, only yours“ you whisper as your eyes find her filled with honesty and god that almost makes her cave. Her breath hovers over your neck as she leans in again, lips brushing your pulse point, fingers slowly beginning to ease down her dress as you tremble, so goddamn needy and ready to take her.

„Tell me what you want baby“ she whispers and you try so hard not to scream from frustration and need. „I want you Em, all of you, please let me fuck you“ you moan. That earns you a little something as she hovers above you before easing herself in, without warning, fully sinking into your length which makes your breath shrudder and your mouth hang open. The older woman stays completely still in your lap, her walls fluttering around you, squeezing your throbbing cock which makes your heart pound so bad. „You feel that baby?“ she murmurs, barely above a whisper as her soaked pussy clenches inside you again, so slow and so deliberate. „How deep you are? How soaked I am for you?“ she asks, her mouth ghosting along your neck.

„And still baby, you don‘t get to move. You are gonna let mommy sit on you and fuck herself until I give you permission got it?“ she asks and god your eyes widen because she has been teasing you all day and having her inside you like that is literal torture. You are panting now, eyes forced close, muscles pulled so tight with restraint. Every part of you is screaming to thrust, even just once to feel her properly but her hands stay firm on your chest, nails digging hard everytime you as much as twitch. „God look at you“ she whispers, rolling her hips once just once in that lazy circle way that makes you swear under your breath. „You‘re sweating, breathing like I‘m already fucking you stupid and I haven‘t even let you thrust yet poor baby“ and god the pitty in her voice makes your breath hitch even more.

She licks her lips, studying your face every single second, wanting you to both unravel and snap while she enjoys her little game. „You don‘t even deserve to move yet darling, you are gonna sit here like a good girl and feel me squeeze your cock. Let me use you to get off.. while you aren‘t allowed to do a goddamn thing“. She doesn‘t even wait to see your reaction as she rocks forward again, just an inch as ahe grinds her clit against you with a soft gasp. „Mmm“ she moans „I could cum just like this baby, without even letting you fuck me“ she whispers. She looks at you then, breath hot against your lips „You‘d take it wouldn‘t you? Just sit there while I get myself off on your cock?“.

Your entire body jolts as you nod but she can see it‘s getting impossible to resist. She smirks again with a warning before her nails dig into your jaw „You move again before I say and I‘ll pull off completely, leave you soaked and throbbing with nothing, got it?“ she warns and your eyes snap open as you meet hers and nod desperately. „Yes.. sorry mommy“ you whimper. Emily‘s breath hitches as she begins shifting her weight forward, angling herself perfectly as she begins rolling and bouncing on your throbbing dick. You feel her, her slick sticky heat pulsing around you as she stays in control, riding enough to build her own tension but never giving you what you need.

„You like this?“ she pants, her voice laced with dominance but equally with growing pleasure. „Me using you like this, just to get myself off?“. You moan hard as your head falls against the wall, fists clenched at your sides because she still hasn‘t given you permission, she‘s fully inside you, grinding down on you as she gets herself ready to cum „Oh baby“ she gasps, rolling down hard again „You feel so fucking good inside me, and god you‘re just sitting there, letting me fuck myself on you, that‘s so hot“.

„Emily please“ you rasp, voice absolutely ruined „Em please let me move“. She opens her eyes slowly, dark and heavy as she whispers „Say it again“ and you do immediately „Please I‘m losing it. Let me move, let me fuck you mommy, please“ you beg. She almost gives in then but then she bounces on you properly, in a way that makes her tits bounce as her gaze stays locked on you. „You‘re gonna watch me cum on your dick and do absolutely nothing and then you get to fuck me“ she whispers before she bounces so hard, clenching around you. Her moans fill the empty bathroom as she gets herself off on you. It takes seconds before you feel her clench around you one last time, her cum soaking your cock.

And finally you snap, your eyes force open glassy and your throat a mess as you stare at her coming down from her high in disbelief. „Please mommy“ you beg as her nails scratch gently through your hair, her hips still locked down on you, heat pulsing around your cock. She studies you for a moment longer before she finally gives in „You can move now baby“ she breathes, the words slicing through the room hard as you freeze for just half a second. „Fuck me now“ she kisses you and thats it. You snap.

Your hands grip her hips like your life depends on it, and your body surges up finally, finally thrusting into her. The first stroke rips a sound so raw from your throat that Emily‘s eyes go wide despite her own pleasure. She gasps when you bottom out again, her nails digging into your shoulders hard. „Fuck-" she breathes, eyes fluttering. „That‘s it baby, just like that, let it out“ she moans and thats all it takes for you to slam into her again, harder now, all the hours of denial and restraint crashing over you. She takes it beautifully, breathing ragged, her body arching with every thrust as she moans into your neck.

Her voice trembles as her head tips back „God, you‘re so deep- fuck, you‘re losing it aren‘t you?“ she gasps as you nod, burried inside her, your cock pulsing so hard and pushing you both closer to the edge. „Fuck- Em- I‘m“ you struggle to find your breathing as her eyes snap towards yours. „Do it“ she orders, voice sharp and breathless „Cum in me baby, fill me up baby, right now“.

And with one more deep and desperate thrust, you cum so hard, buried into her pussy, your hips locked tight as you spill deep inside her with a broken cry. She holds you through it as she feels your hot and wet cum filling her walls so perfectly. She draws out every last moan, every last drop, kissing your jaw as she murmurs „That‘s it babygirl, that‘s it, give all of it to me“. And god you do, every last bit, every last moan you give to her as she stays in your arms and on your cock.

And god when you finally come down from it and she gently leaves your lap, the two of you breathless and twitchy and so full, she smiles like she owns the world, and maybe she does. Because you are her world and she definitely owns you, in every way.

[stayevildarling]

Your Emily x reader fics are soooo good!! Especially the most recent one. Thank you for sharing your writing with us 😊

thank you so much🥺😭

i‘m currently writing another one

[stayevildarling]

what about prentiss x reader smut in public, like a quickie, g!p prentiss

Emily Prentiss x Reader- Guess

A/N: thank you for this request🤍 haven‘t written in ages, specifically smut so if this is shit I apologise.

tw/tags: established relationship, g!p emily, blowjob, semi public sex, lots of praising, reader recieving, emily recieving

word count: 2.7k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00, @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay, @laavaagil, @wtfffisgoingon

The day had began like any other, you worked from home, waiting for Emily to finish being her usual section chief self at the BAU. You tried distracting yourself by focusing on your own work even if you weren‘t scheduled at the office today. But when the afternoon rolled around, you began growing a little bored and so you distracted yourself with some cleaning and washing up before a text stopped you from spiraling further into the boredom of not having your partner around.

Em❤️: hey babygirl, sorry need you tonight for dinner at rossi with the others. promise I‘ll make it up to you on the weekend. pick you up in two ok?

You: you better 🥲

Em❤️: promise, love you💕

And so you stopped what you were doing and focused on getting ready, showering first before laying out an appropriate outfit. You went for one of your „everything“ showers in the end, focusing on shaving because why not. When it came to choosing your outfit you were conflicted for a good minute because usually dinner at Rossi‘s with Emily‘s other coworkers meant casual but not too casual. And as autumn finally rolled around, you decided on some high waisted shorts, your black heart tights to match, doc martins as well as a nice plain tshirt and your slightly oversized Carhartt jacket. You added little details like your favorite rings and necklaces and as you check your outfit one more time in the mirror before heading outside to wait for Emily, you feel content, appropriate for the occasion.

You barely wait two minutes before your girlfriend‘s black car comes into view and you head to the passenger door before sliding in. Your eyes catch Emily‘s, her grey hair reflecting in the car, the same suit she had been wearing since you watched her leave this morning after breakfast, her gun and badge still around her waist. „Hi“ you greet her before leaning over to kiss her but god- Emily cannot focus on what you are doing or saying as she takes in the view of her perfect girl. „Good god, you decided to go full lesbian tonight?“ she smirks before you roll your eyes. „Hello to you too Em“ you sigh, before she quickly snaps out of it and leans in to press a soft lingering kiss to your lips.

It takes her a minute to start the car, so lost in the image of you but when she finally snaps out of it, you both fall into easy conversation as she checks in how your day was and what you got up to. The drive to Rossi‘s doesn’t take more than fifteen minutes and when she pulls into the familiar driveway, you carefully open the door before she comes rushing out of hers to open yours fully and take your hand. You smirk slightly at her antics before taking her hand and following her inside. Your eyes sweep over the familiar faces as you recognize the host and several other agents from Emily‘s unit. „Hi Y/N“ they all greet you in unison and you smile politely before falling into easy conversation with them as Emily watches you, her hand protective on your lower back as she stays close.

It barely takes a few minutes before someone passes you a glass of wine and you take it before your eyes flick to Emily for permission silently. She wasn‘t controlling by any means but your girlfriend had always been so damn protectice of you and these things became a habit by now. She sublty nods before you slowly lead the glass to your lips and take a sip. „Dinner‘s nearly done“ Rossi calls out before Emily leads you to the large dining table where you had sat at multiple times before. You were usually shy with these sorts of things but you always swallowed it down for Emily, knowing this team and her work were so damn important to her, her team in a way her family and so you played the part, talking to the others, asking all the right questions, cracking jokes and refilling peoples glasses, complimenting dinner and just being exactly what Emily needed you to be.

When dinner is served and you begin eating, you somehow can‘t focus on anything they are saying, even though its mostly boring case stuff. Your eyes keep drifting back to your girlfriend, the way her fingers go to her wine glass and back to her cutlery. How her tongue swipes over her lips after having a sip of wine, how her eyebrows dart together when she talks, how her eyes light up, how her knee brushes against yours. You can‘t stop staring at her hands, thinking about how she usually has them wrapped around your throat at this time of the night. You can‘t stop staring at her mouth and how she would usually attack your neck in kisses and both tease and praise you to death at this time.

And god- when you peak under the table and see that faint bulge- you choke on your food for a good second before composing yourself. Her eyes immediately dart to you in concern before her hand travels to your back „You good darling?“ she asks before you nod, completely lost in thought. „Is everything okay Y/N? you have barely touched your food“ Rossi tries, usually knowing you to be more cheerful and present with them. „No- yeah everything is fine, dinner is so good thank you“ you quickly compose yourself but sitting in a room with fbi profilers isn‘t exactly in your favor right now.

The rest of them carry on eating and falling back into easy chatter but Emily‘s eyes stay on you, in concern. She leans in a little, before whispering „What‘s wrong sweetie?“. Your breathing hitches as you swallow down the lump in your throat. „I-" you start whispering but stop yourself. „It‘s no big deal Em, sorry“ you whisper but when her hand finds your leg under the table you know she takes this serious always, noticing how uncomfortable you are, blissfully unaware whats actually bothering you. „Tell me baby“ she whispers and that does it. „I need you now Em“ you whisper, making sure no one can hear or sense anything. Her eyes widen as she feels her throat closing up in surprise.

„Need me how?“ she whispers, thinking she may have heard it wrong. „Guess“ you whisper before she feels that familiar twitch between her legs. Emily clears her throat before carrying on eating, absolutely torn between what you just said to her and staying polite. You finish the rest of your food before you clear your throat „Just gonna use the bathroom“ you say politely with a smile before they all give you a nod. „You know where it is?“ Emily asks and you smile at her, completely ignoring her cue on purpose. „Yes, been here before Em“ you wink at her before walking away, your hips swaying a little which makes her eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

You barely make it upstairs to the large guest bathroom, which in reality really should be a bedroom given the size, before trying to close the door, but firm ringed hands stop you. „Really?“ Emily asks with a raised brow and you just shrug innocently. „What? I need to pee?“ you smirk before she pushes the door open so fast you stumble backwards. It shuts with a soft click before you see her locking it so fast. „So.. you need to pee? go on then“ she says in that tone that makes your stomach flip. You just stand there, staring at her presence for a second and god, you can already feel the heat pooling between your legs, even more than it had been all during dinner. „What don‘t be shy- pee“ she commands but you look away.

„I don‘t“ you swallow hard but she cuts you off before walking towards you. You walk backwards until your back hits the sink. „Let me guess. you don‘t need to pee, you just hoped I‘d follow you up here to take care of you“ she whispers before a tiny smirk twitches at the corner of your lips. „But you did, didn‘t you? follow me up here?“ you say boldly. And that does it, she closes the small gap between you, before her hands surge forward towards your cheek and her mouth clashes with yours, hard. There is no usual softness in it, just filled with heat and dominance and a hint of disapproval. She swallows down your moans as she fiercely attacks your mouth, her tongue entering and fighting for dominance in seconds.

„You‘re gonna pay for this babygirl“ she whispers as she presses a long lingering kiss to your neck. And then she steps away a little before unbuckling her belt and pulling her trousers and boxers down, exposing her already hardened cock. You swallow hard before meeting her eyes and you both know there isn‘t a lot of time and so you sink to your knees almost immediately, looking up at her one more time before your hands gently close around it and lead her length to your mouth. You don‘t even waste any time, taking her fully as you swallow and suck, causing her head to throw back in pleasure as she bites her bottom lip to stiffle the sound, even though no one could probably hear it all the way from downstairs.

„Don‘t- don‘t stop“ she hisses as her eyes close and you carry on sucking her with practiced ease until you feel the familiar twitch and let go with the smallest pop sound. Emily is on you immediately, lifting you up and sitting you on the large sink before her hands travel to your shorts and pull them down along with your tights. She fumbles in her suit pocket for a condom, but you swat her hand away before murmuring „Em- I don‘t care“. And she stares at you then, fully disbelieving stare as her hand travels to your core one time to check just how wet for her you already are. And god you aren‘t wet, you are dripping and warm for her. „Such a slut“ she tuts before closing the gap and alliging herself. The tip barely touches your entrance before her mouth is back on you, your lips, your neck, your ears.

„You are such a needy little thing“ she whispers before you nod into her desperately. „Please Em“ you moan before she chuckles lowly. „Try again“ she whispers before you correct yourself „Please mommy“ and that does it. She pushes into you and your head immediately falls back in pleasure as your back hits the large mirror of the sink and her hands grip your legs to make you take her entire cock. „God“ you whisper and Emily is obsessed with your face, your eyebrows darting together in pleasure, your mouth hanging open and droplets of sweat already beginning to form on your forehead. „We gotta make this quick baby“ she whispers before she looks at you, really looks at you and when your eyes meet her, full of that hunger, that permission and equally begging, she loses it a little.

„Fuck“ she pants before her hips slam into you at full pace. Her hands reach for the sink to turn the water on as the only sound in the room are your quiet moans and the sound of skin slapping and your wet pussy. „That good baby?“ she whispers and you can‘t even talk, nodding frantically as she hits all the right spots inside you, hitting you so deep, the angle perfect to make you both feel everything. It doesn‘t even take long, a few more frantic hip movements before Emily pulls back in the slightest, her cum threatening to leak any second. But you don‘t care anymore, you wrap your legs around her hips which causes her to stay right there with you. „Baby- I can‘t - hold it“ she moans breathlessly before you lock eyes with her.

„I don‘t care Em- fuck me like you mean it“ you whisper with wide eyes which causes Emily‘s heart to pound in her chest as your words settle in fully. Things between you both had never been vanilla but damn this was new. „Cum inside me mommy“ you whisper as you pull her closer to kiss her. „I want you to fill me up, I wanna take every last drop“ you whisper breathlessly before your girlfriend loses all sort of composure she had. She stares at you in disbelief before adjusting herself and really slamming into you. She had never fucked you this hard before but the thought of filling you up had intrigued her for the longest time. „Oh god“ you moan, when you feel her cock twitch inside you and feeling so much bigger and fuller than usual.

„Ready to take me baby?“ she asks one more time and when you nod more frantically, she lets go, completely falling apart inside you as her warm cum fills your insides. And god you are seconds behind as that newfound sensation sends a jolt through you. Emily has to hold you through it as your whole body starts shaking, your legs tensing harder around her hips as your orgasm washes over you. She feels it in the way you are leaking onto her, your pussy so full with your own cum mixed with hers. You are both breathless as you come down from your high, your whole body tilted towards Emily as she holds you both up.

„That was amazing baby, you took me so well“ she whispers as she presses a proud kiss to your cheeks. Your eyes are still closed, the sensation so overwhelming you can barely breathe, let alone think right now. And of course she notices. She is so gentle as she pulls out of you, making sure not to hurt you before grabbing some tissue and cleaning herself up before getting dressed. Next she grabs some more and uses warm water before kneeling „I‘m just gonna clean you up okay sweet girl?“ she says, but you are completely out, leaning against the mirror with your back. You twitch a little when you feel the warm sensation but don‘t complain as she washes you, steadies you and helps you get dressed again.

She sits you on the edge of the bathtub, before getting a cool cloth and wiping your faces, brushing some strands of hair between your ear. „You with me baby?“ she whispers and you blink before nodding. „You did so good“ she smiles before pressing a gentle kiss to your lips „Such a naughty, slutty girl, but you took me so well“ she praises. „And once we‘re home I‘m gonna reward you for being so damn good“ she whispers which gets you snapped out of your little sleepiness at the promise of more tonight. She glances at the time, realizing barely ten minutes went by despite it feeling like a lifetime. She steps into your arms before giving you a tight squeeze and making sure you both look presentable in the mirror.

„I‘m gonna head downstairs first, come out in a minute, I‘m gonna tell them you felt a bit sick from the wine“ she whispers before you nod with a cheeky smile. „Gonna have to say the wine, otherwise Rossi will blame the food“ she teases which gets a little chuckle out of you. She nods one more time before heading to the door and whispers „I love you so much my sweet girl“. You smile and when the door shuts behind her, you take a deep breath, because damn, you can‘t deny you wanted this but you never thought she‘d go through with it here, let alone it being this good. You stare at the time before heading downstairs again, ready to play the part of the good obdedient girlfriend again but the excitement for more tonight lingers.

[stayevildarling]

Also omg, whilst I'm already here yapping away, are you taking requests at the moment? I might have a fic idea I'd like to send in sometime .. but only if you are okay with requests atm! If not that is absolutely fine 🫶

-🤍

yes totally! my requests are open🥰

[stayevildarling]

The second part was so good omg absolutely sobbing xx I'm so glad it didn't end sadly, part 1 actually crushed me💔💔 but anyways !! I LOVED BOTH FICS SO MUCH I love how you portrait the angst, it's just perfect 🥲 the interaction with mina omg🙁 THE BILLIE SCENE IN THE GREENHOUSE🥲🥲 girl you never fail to disappoint 😋 love love love ur works and I'm so glad you're back (?) I can't wait to see more future works if you continue to write 🫶🫶

-🤍

thank you so so so much❤️❤️I really appreciate it!

[stayevildarling]

OMG HAVE U HEARD sarah might be coming back to ahs 😭😭😭😭 I'm so hoping it's another season of like coven / apocalypse 🙏 Ryan Murphy said in a comment saying him and sarah are "cooking up something cool" for s13 LORD PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏

-🤍

Yes I saw!!! 😫

my honest reactions to that ⬆️

[stayevildarling]

Do you know when part 2 will be posted? 😩 I'm so looking forward to reading it!

No rush btw! ❤️

It‘s posted ❤️