#i just dont know if i'll have time (or motivation) to see it through

[orcelito]

God, this is fucking crazy

So i only have 3 more classes to take, but it'll cost the same to take 3 classes as 4 classes. So I've been thinking about taking a 4th class just for the hell of it. Something fun and/or easy.

Out of curiosity, I looked up orchestras. I was in it in my first year, but I haven't consistently played since 2016. But I still dream about being in an orchestra again. I *miss it*. So I was like. Well, what if *that* was my 4th class next semester? What If?

I looked it up. This week is the last week they're doing auditions for it. There was only one more spot free after today. And that's *tomorrow evening*.

I haven't really played my violin much in YEARS. I'm so out of practice. But apparently they don't reject anyone outright. Auditions are just for placement. So worst case scenario, I get placed in an orchestra at a lower skill level than I was at my prime. It'd still be an orchestra.

It's crazy short notice, but I don't think I'd forgive myself if I passed it up. Bc I have just one more semester before I graduate. One last opportunity to be in a school orchestra. And if I didn't do this, I'd be left with that What If forever.

So. Crazy short notice, but I have a violin audition tomorrow!!! Hahahaha

[noahtally-famous]

shawpher/shawnpher au where topher is this college-student-vlogger who posts videos of his life, yes, but also of him getting roped into various crazy shenanigans with his friends (bc the viewers need relatability, duh, and what better way to show that than posting vids of you being dragged into doing stupid stuff with your friends?!)

one of these videos is a halloween one in which topher's dragged to either the woods (dubbed to be haunted) or an allegedly haunted house that used to be inhabited by some random guy until his mysterious demise some few years ago. the public eats that stuff up so naturally corporations took it into stride and bought the place to turn it into this elaborate "haunted house" thing, unaware that all the hubbub isn't amusing whatsoever to the spirit of its former resident who shows it off by pulling crazy stints to get rid of them (but everyone just thinks it's part of the gig and more people come so it basically backfires)

enter topher who's forced to do this haunted house gig on halloween and videos himself bc ofc he does. the usual shenanigans happen and topher brushes it off with forced nonchalance bc he's totally not scared one bit. (he does lament irritably about the "stupid so-called jumpscares messing up my hair!"). he gets a literal coronary when a literal ghost around his age--maybe a year or two older--appears seconds later demanding to know just what is so allegedly stupid about the hauntings he's been doing

"hold on, pal, what were you saying about the hauntings? what's wrong with them, huh? do you know how much consideration I put into--stop screaming, jeez, you're really not equipped for this--anyway, as I was saying--"

mental breakdowns and panicking once he realizes that this dude isn't a prop or a guy in a costume, aside, somehow topher gets dragged kicking and screaming into helping this seriously weird ghost regain his house in order to rest peacefully, while also solving the mystery of who even is this guy and what the heck happened to him

(somehow the biggest mystery occurs between all this: how the heck does he end up getting this itsy bitsy teeny tiny crush on the guy?)

(oh, and the videos turn into a huge hit. something abt "elaborate dedication" and "solid props and effects" and "interesting plot")

[greml1nb0i]

THE HAZBIN LEAKS SHOW THAT S2 WILL ONLY GET WORSE: Characters

OK so my first gripe,

Emily's song is ear bleedingly annoying. Idk who her VA is but omg, idk if she's tone deaf or if they just have her mouth directly into the mic but my gods woman. STEP BACK you are assaulting my brain with these nonstop high sopranos.

Also the literal shot of Sir P trying to kill himself cuz of how either how annoying Emily is being or the fact he misses his friend, regardless it was a WILD fucking scene to show. Suicide isn't off the table for Viv's jokes, i guess.

Speaking of Sir P, his reason for being in Hell is so fucking stupid.

How tf is being scared of Jack The Ripper a sin?! His sin is just being scared of being murdered if he spoke out.

THAT'S JUST NORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR, WHAT?!

I hate to break it to you Viv, but not everyone is going to act like a macho hero when they see a damned murder!! Most people fucking run and hide! Why? CUZ THEY DONT WANNA DIE! They don't want to be targeted if shit goes south.

Also what is the thought process here in making his sin being just "cowardice"?? Viv are you trying to say that people who have most def been in Sir P's shoes, [witnessing a murder] are cowards that deserve to go to hell?? What's the motive here? Am i missing something?? Is being too afraid to be murdered, a sin??

Also apparently he was sent to Heaven for "saving Cherri Bomb"

save her from what?

Last i checked, in the final ep; he just kisses her as she's about to through a bomb and then says "i love you, remember me" only to have one of the most anti climatic "deaths" in the show. She wasnt even being attacked or threatened in anyway. So where tf does the plot point of "i saved her" come in??

Also can we talk about these fuck-ass human designs for Sir P and Alastor??

I don't mind Sir P's as much as i hate Alastor's. Its the fact Viv doesnt know wtf she's doing when she makes these designs.

Sir P just looks like a generic guy. One look at him and you cannot tell what time period he's from, same goes for Alastor. They could easily be frickin neighbors in the early or late 90s but no, they're supposedly from different timelines.

Alastor iirc is from the 1940-50s, and Sir P is from the 1800s, [Jack the rippers final kill was 1863-1888]

Why, Viv, cant you do any research for the time periods YOUR characters come from??

Why do they both look like cartoon barbers; not a radio show host and not a genius inventor?? Like did you even look at the differences in fashion and culture for any of these characters?!

Men fashion from the late 1800s looked like this:

This is [white] Men's fashion in the 1940-1950s:

See Viv, their fashion styles are different and shouldn't look the same at all. Why does every character have pinstripes, if it doesnt even reflect that time period in an authentic way??

And to add a cherry on top, this is what African American men would wear in Alastor's time period:

Do you see the difference in styles Viv?

Black men were not given the same nice everyday casual wear that white men did. They often wore hand-me-downs or had to work their asses off to just afford 1 nice looking suit.

you wanna know why?? Cuz Viv, the Jim Crow laws were still in full affect til the late 60s and early 70s. They were not seen as people, black men and women were still heavily discriminated against and were even still being victims of-

[MAJOR TW FOR RACISIT STUFF]

lynching's. Alastor would feel lucky, he only got mistaken for a deer and shot; he could have, and probably did, go through much much worse in his actually living life.

Tell me you didn't do any research for your characters without telling me you didn't do any research for your characters.

TLDR; So not only is Viv using more gross jokes in her next season, but the character designs have gotten even worse.

Lmk what you want the next topic to be about, if i missed anything you would've liked mentioned here, lmk in comments or asks and i'll reply. I reply to everyone as long as you arent being a jerk.

EDIT:

I've been made away that Alastor didn't in fact live in the 1940s and 50s but the 1930s. i will say most of my points still stand, but here the men's fashion for his time period.

also that makes his radio show even more of an impossible achievement, in the 1930s majority, if not, half of the black men in America were out of work cuz of racism, discrimination and segregation, ya know, cuz the Jim Crow. White people called for African Americans to be fired from any jobs as long as there were whites out of work. Racial violence again became more common, especially in the South.

Tell me again Viv, how tf did Alastor even thrive??

[lenoue]

What do you think about Dean and Lucifer and the bond they have with Sam? Dean is Sam's brother and in his mind Sam's keeper, he doesn't like it when Sam lies to him or doesn't share everything with him, Sam doesn't tell him everything, and he's bothered/frightened when Sam leaves him. But Lucifer spent years with Sam, more than Sam and Dean could ever spend together, Sam was made for him and he was in his head, hallucinating and reminding him of his destiny. Who knows Sam best? Would Dean lose his mind if he found out that someone else was spending more time with Sam? How do you think he would deal with the fact that Sam's existence is set up to belong to someone else?

"sam's existence is set up to belong to someone else" thanks anon I'll be thinking about this all day now

im actually unsure which angle to approach this one from so I'll answer the questions first

who knows sam best?

- controversial answer, neither of them. on the surface, yes lucifer knows sam best by the virtue that he has been inside the physical body and mind that makes sam. he understands sam because they spent a long time in the same prison room.

the issue is, both dean and lucifer analyse sam using the standard of the role they want him to play.

sam to dean is brother, maybe brother and not brother. it all depends on how much sam retains qualities that make him sammy and how much he's willing to bend over for adjustment. everything he knows and understands about sam, he views it through a lens of Sammy.

sam to lucifer is a vessel and not a vessel. he understands sam's actions, motivations and reasonings through the parts he can connect with, he can understand. he understands betrayal, he understands feeling othered. significantly, lucifer is an archangel. he does not understand human nature. he cannot connect to sam on any grounds except the one's he picks at chooses.

also important to mention that these two men have a tendency to twist sam's mind around when they see him being unsure. they're both opportunistic. whenever sam speaks his mind, neither of them listen to him. they're just waiting to get their word in.

Would Dean lose his mind that someone spent more time with Sam?

- If you notice, dean doesn't ever acknowledge the time sam spent in hell in specifics. (tbf, no one does. we dont actually know if cage time lag was the same as hell time lag). dean would absolutely lose his mind if he had to confront this reality. this is a hold he can never compete with. he believes that sam's entire time in the cage was of torture and pain and perversely, i think he'd prefer that over the alternative.

he doesn't know that sam and lucifer have a level of connection. he wasn't privy to those interactions. he knows sam and lucifer spent more time, he just doesn't believe it can hold over his and sam's relationship.

.... Sam's existence is set up to belong to someone else?

- so delicious <3 so i think canonically it eased the process for him to find out about being michael's vessel, come in terms with the reality of being born for that purpose. his point of contention wasn't the claim itself, it was the idea that sam would willingly "fall into" lucifer's arm the way he "fell into" ruby's.

dean has a mile long bravado that says he can fight any branding claim off sam's skin as long as he can keep his teeth dug deep. if sam shook him off, that's how he'd lose.

But dean's experience as a vessel had also been,, highly impersonal. corporate even. if he found out about how personal sam's been with lucifer, the conversation, the seduction, yeah he'd have lost his mind.

he'd have dug up sigils to repel lucifer and inked them into every possible inch of sam's skin

he'd have castiel dig into sam's mind when he's sleeping to make sure lucifer isn't speaking to him there (the answer was yes, dean takes liberty to add double espresso shots in his coffee)

he'd never let sam go anywhere alone. the paranoia of sam sneaking off with ruby returning 10 fold

and he'd talk sam into staying in the panic room, shackled to the bed when he'd have to leave.

Ultimately, there are a number of ways we can parallel Dean and Lucifer in regards to Sam. the blatant objectification aside, both relish in knowing that sam was destined to be at their side. lucifer is gleeful, dean is righteous.

But, where Lucifer loses is that he doesn't understand one thing about Sam, that maybe even dean doesn't. but dean reaps the benefit of it. Sam chases redemption like a drug. and there is no one he feels he has wronged more than dean.

[space-helen]

Grade

Words: 1499

Pairing: All platonic (?) Nick Stokes x Reader, Greg Sanders x Reader, David Hodges x Reader

A/N: This was written back in October (sorry) but enjoy!

Request: Okay so this may be totally very random but idk either- the idea just popped into my head but my writer ass is too filled up with school to have motivation to write so- but like onto the idea.

So like, reader is maybe like, a student/works part time at the lab? And theyre everyones favourite as they can get along with everyone (even hodges though he would be the last to admit it-) but their grades are slipping majorly and no one knows as they keep up the 'im fine' mask before diverting the topic, like how that person is.

But one day maybe they get a grade or something in a subject they really studied for and its very bad or something else happens and someone just finds them in a very random spot and its all fluff :(?

Sorry if this was long and you dont have to write this if you dont want to, I just think your writing is awesome so :)

-🧽/Anon

______________________

You nervously checked your phone again before shoving it back in your pocket. God, you hated waiting for results. It seemed like you'd been on a losing streak recently. No matter how hard you were studying your grades were consistently low. You knew some of your classmates thought it was because of your job in the crime lab but you wouldn't give it up for the world.

"How's it going?" Hodges spoke from the other side of the room.

"Everything's fine." You forced a smile "the tests are running."

"Perfect." He returned his attention back to the work in front of him "You can go for a break if you want. Go grab a coffee, just be back to get the results."

"Thanks. Want me to make you one?" 

The man waved you off and gave you a smile "I'll be ok but thank you." Standing up you made sure everything was safe before leaving the room.

Getting into the break room you poured yourself a drink before looking at the snacks on offer today before turning and taking a seat at the table.

"How's it going?" Greg sat across from you at the table, a drink of his own in his hand.

"I'm ok, pretty quiet morning so far."

He laughed "today does seem slower, huh?" He took a sip of his drink as you did yours "have you had the test results back?"

"Yours should be done soon, Hodges told me to take a break while they were-"

"Not those." He interrupted "your grade for the-"

"Oh, they haven't come back yet."

"Are you nervous?"

You shook your head and took another sip of your drink, feeling the hot liquid slightly scold your mouth and throat. "I studied hard, it should be fine like always."

"I respect your positivity so much" he smiled as he checked his phone and then  downed the last part of his drink, you weren't sure how he did it really, you knew you wouldn't be able to with the coffee at this temperature. "I have to run but let me know when you get the grade back." As he stood he placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder and gave it a light squeeze "good luck."

You gave him a smile and thanked him but before you knew it he was gone. Enjoying the rest of the silence you flipped through one of the newspapers left on the table before eventually finishing your coffee and cleaning your mug. Walking back down the corridor towards your workstation you felt a notification come in on your phone. Seeing it was your results you opened it immediately but instantly regretted it, another failed test. Diving for the nearest door you opened flung it open and threw yourself through into it. As you stared at your phone screen you could feel tears coming to your eyes quickly as your chest began to feel tighter. This couldn't be happening, not again.

Nick had seen your odd behaviour as he turned the corner. Speeding up his pace he knocked lightly on the storage cupboard door "Y/N is everything ok?" he listened carefully for a response but instead heard your quiet sobs through the door. Opening it carefully he slid inside and his heart felt sorry for you as soon as your tear filled eyes met his.

"Come here." His whispered opening his arms. You closed the small distance and were soon in his arms, allowing him to hug you. "What happened?"

"The test." You sobbed "I just got my grade back" another sob "I failed." 

"It's ok. It's ok." The man placed his one hand on your hair to comfort you more as he brought you into his chest. 

As he did Greg came to the door and opened it carefully, seeing the two of you he gave Nick a questioning look and mouthed the words 'what's up?' 

'Grades' Nick mouthed back and Greg nodded his head. Leaning against the door frame he looked at you sympathetically, knowing how difficult it could be.

"I know it's silly." You pulled away from Nick and wiped your face. "But I worked so hard and it's just like I'm running in circles. Maybe I'm just not good enough."

"Don't say that." Nick said calmly

"Y/N you're literally incredible. Probably the most promising I've seen around here in forever. You're so clever and definitely have what it takes." It was Greg speaking now.

Looking at the man with tears in your eyes you swallowed a sob "It really doesn't feel like it right now."

Nick placed his hand on your shoulder lightly. "You should have said something if you're struggling with grades. We could have helped you out." 

"I didn't want you to all think I was stupid."

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Greg teased lightly "We're all in awe at how much you have going on and we'd never think you were stupid."

"Man, you teach me something new most days." Nick added in, moving his hand from your shoulder to your back, gesturing forward with his other hand "let's move from the closet though, it's cramped in here and there's better places to cry in the lab."

Nodding you allowed the men to walk you to somewhere more appropriate, the two of them giving warning glances to anyone staring or small shakes of their head in a 'drop it' fashion to those who looked like they were going to interfere. 

Sitting down at your desk, Hodges handed you your results as the two men stood next to you, clearly puzzled by everyone's expressions he had to fill the silence "what's going on-"

"I failed" You cut him off. 

The man's jaw was slack "What? How? Wasn't this exam in your main field of expertise? We work on it most days."

You nodded and rested your elbows on the table and your chin on your hands as your eyes skimmed the results he'd handed you "yep."

"You have to ask for a remark."

"Leave it." Nick spoke as he pulled up a stool next to you.

You sighed if Nick and Greg knew, David should probably know too since you worked with him everyday and you were actually quite close to the man. "I've been pretty consistent with my failing grades this semester." You didn't raise your eyes from the piece of paper.

"There has to be some form of favouritism going on." The man shook his head "you've never once made an error in this lab-"

Greg interrupted the man "I don't think this is helping right now."

"No it's fine." You looked up at the men "What's done is done. I can try and redeem myself in the next one but if I fail that too I'll probably have to kiss the lab goodbye."

Hodges grumbled "I'll help you. Whatever you need I'll help."

"Can't we just show them the work you do here? Would that help your grade?" Nick questioned.

You shrugged "we could try, but they'd probably just tell me I've got too much going on. Just like how my friends say it."

"They don't sound very much like friends then do they." Greg scoffed "we're here for you though Y/N, like Hodges said, anything you need." Greg's phone buzzed and he was quickly excusing himself.

You looked back down at the results and slid them in front of Nick as you talked him through them as I'd nothing had happened, the man thanked you and gave you a warm smile before leaving.

"What do you have for me next?" You asked Hodges.

"You can help me prep these samples?"

You smiled and began to cross the room to him when your phone began to ring. Answering the call without looking, you were surprised to hear your University lecturer on the other end.. 

Locking your phone you slid it into your pocket and took a step back inside your lab space. "You'll never guess what" Hodges gestured for you to continue speaking "There was apparently an error in the system and everyone was given a failing grade. I passed. I’m a little annoyed it happened but-"

"I knew it had to be a mistake.” Hodges quickly added a smile beaming on his face.

"I don't know what my exact grade was but at least it wasn't a fail. She said that although my past grades weren't great the ones they really take into consideration is this one and the next two we get."

He smiled even more "good because I have no clue what I'd do in here without you now" 

"Thank you, I really love the opportunity I have to work with you, I've learnt so much-"

He held up his hand "As much as I love to hear it from other people I don't want to hear it from you." He joked "go and tell Nick and Greg."

You nodded "I'll be right back" 

"There's no rush, enjoy the news"

Tag List: (open, send an ask or let me know if you want to be added)

CSI: @perasperaadastrawriting

[exaltedfuzz]

hiii! this is really random but i was looking at your pinned comic again and what do you think gant meant whenever he would talk about swimming? idk if it's because there was so much going on while playing the case, but i could never really figure out if there was more to it and im curious about your interpretation if you dont mind !!

Well, honestly, I think it's threatening enough if it's just swimming. (Speaking as someone who can't swim, haha.)

Seriously though, I think it's a combination "let's be better friends and have fun" with an undercurrent of "you know I could hold your head under water at any time and everyone would think it was a freak accident". Because swimming can be brushed off so easily as simply something fun, there's a sort of gaslighting there too. Like "Now loosen up... why did you think I'd drown you? We're just having a good time, aren't we?" This sense of constant threat in something so supposedly happy. Just like Gant himself.

As for swimming with Lana, although he never proposes this in game, it's what I had in the comic, so I'll put some of the thoughts behind it here.

I'd imagine it as a purposeful disarming tactic again. Lana's design, I feel, is a collection of things to keep her looking strong, and importantly, to cover up her weak points. Her shoulders need squaring up, so she wears military style epaulettes. She's shorter than Gant, so she wears heels. She can't have her throat vulnerable, so she wears a scarf. One that's interesting is the medals. Firstly, her heart is the reason why she was able to be manipulated so entirely, since everything she did was to protect Ema, but the medals are on the wrong side of her chest to keep her heart locked behind her achievements. And Gant knows this, he flat out says it in game - that he "knew Lana" and knew that if Ema was implicated, she'd do "anything and everything he wanted" (don't remember who says this, think it might be Nick), despite being someone who "hated anything corrupt" (Angel). Second, I think this means Lana is a bit insecure. None of the other King of Prosecutors winners that we see (Edgeworth, Manfred) have any desire to show off the medals they presumably have (and though I know this is partly because they didn't exist when they were being designed, I also think it's interesting from an in-universe standpoint) so I think Lana is clutching at the things she can tangibly show off. (Interestingly, this actually makes her slightly like the other Chief Prosecutor we see, [Blaise] Winner. He's covered in the badges... I won't spoil AAI2 for what they are, but... The means by which they each obtained their medals and what they point to about them is, now that I'm thinking about it, a really interesting parallel. But that isn't the point.) She does the same thing with her grades, tells you she was the best in her class. I think that without these accolades she'd feel completely useless, so, this brings me to swimming.

Obviously, swimming, you're half naked. I propose that Lana's insecurities extend to this. Seems the sort to be arms folded in a T-shirt and jeans at a pool party. So, I think an invitation to swim with Gant would be something designed to unsettle her and make her uncomfortable, make her lose all her neatly put together armour. I'm not keen to read potential sexual motives into it, for Lana's sake. That poor woman has really been through enough with what's contained in the canonical text. But certainly, Gant would use it as a means of preying on her insecurities and pushing her buttons re: covering up vulnerabilities. The threat of being scrutinised, without any shields (chipped or not) under Gant's uncomfortably long stare, would be terrifying. I think with Gant, it's always the threat of how entirely unknowable he is. Of course, that unknowable-ness leads to him murdering two people as almost a reflex action, and all he seems to care about is making pawns and raising himself up.

Also, since it's water, it's a sort of washing the blood away style thing. Actually, now that I write that, when you look at Gant's design, he's got a huge cross on him. (And parts of his design went into Strongheart, who has a sort of clergyman-style coat) Maybe there's a bit of a baptism/washing away sins Christian style thing going on there. Not to mention the massive church organ in his office. (On Gant's cross tie, actually, something I noticed and found really interesting was that there's so much "red around neck" in RFTA. Gant's tie, Lana's scarf, Ema's bow, Jake's neckerchief, Angel's little octopus hotdog thing, the suit of armour in Gant's office even has a red scarf style thing. Something about the chains heavy around all of their necks. Naturally the most assertive red is Gant's, since not only does it branch out like a marionette controller, but at the center of it is his big badge. So having the chief position has given him control over all these other "red around neck" people, ready to tighten up the noose at any time. I'd say Angel gives credence to this too. She has the least red going on, and she's the only one who doesn't work there anymore. It's also not actually the thing around her neck, which is a black choker, but an accessory that she's attached to it. Emblematic of her really choosing to go back into this world however she can, and that includes emulating the "red string of fate", as it were. Neil's tie is pink (which is light red) so it's faded into memory, and Bruce's is blue with white spots. Now, this doesn't seem like red, but blood is red too, and the luminol reaction is blue. So this is the discovery point, if that makes sense. Where the red has been revealed to be blood under the blacklight, and things start to become undone. Ultimately, as well, the "white spots" become the holes in Gant and Lana's plan, so I think there's something there! But that isn't the point of the post.)

One thing I find interesting about "swimming" in particular is Gant's theming. His damage sprite is him going completely nuts electrical style. So maybe...

Thanks for your ask, sorry for going off on one. Hope I answered your question, haha!

[millytherat]

Reading through @badaziraphaletakes inspired me to make a post about reasons:

Why people tend to choose Crowley of Aziraphale, and, consequently, think Aziraphale is bad

This might be a long post, i'll cover some topics and i might get all over the place at some point! But please be patient! Can i get into it?

Inversion of values

When first watching Good Omens, you might expect a strong inversion of values, that Heaven is bad and Hell is good, angels are the oppresors and demons the victims

It is mostly religiously (religious trauma) motivated, aka "christianity is a fucking bullshit" motivated, to expect seeing the ones who calls themselfs good (Heaven, who we interpret as Christian religious figures) be actually bad (wich, in real life, they tend to be) and, the ones they cast out as evil and sinful (Hell, wich we interpret in this case as anyone the church calls sinful, like the queer comunity) to be good and innocent and just different, it makes us feel emphatic for them, even seeing that they are, indeed, bad

I believe some people just dont want to accept it, they want to believe the angels are inherently bad and the demons just questioned their bad ways

But they arent, if anything ALL angels and demons are naturally good and innocent, "oh but Gabriel!" He was naturally good, we saw it, the same with Michael and Uriel too, they're all just tainted by the strong grip Heaven demands for them to have; in episode 1 season 2, we see both Crowley (as starmaker) and Aziraphale being totally innocent and adorable, they're good by nature, no one in the story is actually evil

When this inversion of values we wish for isnt fulfilled, it might cause an annoyance, i know a lot of people who dont accept it, and just make it up because... well is expected!

Queerness

This was originally taken from a post of "Bad Aziraphale Takes"

Crowley is "more queer" than Aziraphale, at least thats how people see it as, in fics too, how many times Crowley gender is explored, with pronouns and labels and identities? While the more i saw for Aziraphale was a vulva or they/them pronouns, and never in a human au! Aziraphale is depicted and seem as a cisgender male

I have seem even people saying Aziraphale have internalized homophobia! I- how??

Found them! @theelastword made an ask on the "bad Aziraphale takes" blog that inspired this bit <3 thank you love

Need for a villain and favorites

As we saw, people that hate Aziraphale choose to see Heaven as evil, as the villain, and that is also followed by many people who dont hate Aziraphale! Well, might i say that... we dont have a real villain in Good Omens? The angels arent evil for wishing to follow what they believe to be God's plan, nor for deminishing humanity- but i'm getting ahead of myself here!

The need to see Heaven as inhetently bad, the big bad villain, makes people see Aziraphale, going back there "freely", hurting Crowley's feelings, saying Hell/demons are the bad guys (wich they ARE?? There is not an inversion of values!) As him being evil, as him going to the side of the villain instesd of choosing Crowley, going back to CROWLEY'S abusers, not his, not theirs, Crowley

I do believe humans have a natural need to have favorites, when you're a kid is always "wich caracther of this cartoon am i?" and later is always "wich do i relate to more? Wich do i like more?", and people choose Crowley for all those reasons above and probally some personal ones too

So! As a small conclusion:

People choose to prefer Crowley, they choose to see Crowley as better because he's a "good demon", he's the victim that fell from Heaven and hates Hell, he's the queer caracther, he's kind and genuine and helps Aziraphale and have a car he loves

Because of the idea that Aziraphale is: A) opposite to Crowley; B) an Angel! (The abusers! The bad guys! The evil!); C) a BAD angel for that matter, he's selfish and mundane and comes across as rude to Crowley (because he acts so fucking autistic too!); people tend to DISLIKE Aziraphale, small simple minded people, but people nonetheless

I know the whole post is a bit over the place, it might sound confusing here and there, but i really wanted to put all this together to try and understand why people hate Aziraphale

I though maybe this can give a small input on why people think like that, it sures helps me to understand how they think that and what they mean by their terrible takes! I guess is mostly them being naive

Oh! You know how in the 2000's the media was demonizing femininity by having blond, pink, feminine villains in their high school romances? How we, to this day, tend to see feminine girls as fake, vulgar, naive, etc? How most teen girls go through a "not like other girls phase" because of that?

Same principle! Is the same reason for why they see Heaven and Aziraphale as evil

I hope someone can appreciate this lil silly thoughs put together <3

[cosmousee]

ADVICE FOR MERCURY RETROGRADE 📢📢

Hey folks!!

I hope everyone is okay, hope being the keyword. I felt like everyone around me is in a crisis and decided to do a mercury retrograde reading, because we need to make it make sense!!

I still have a lot of asks left to do, but this felt important so here I am!!

Okay with out further ado, pick a pile from 1>>2>>3

For all three piles, the moon cards are Full Moon cards, which basically means energy is peaking. And at times, when energy peaks, your mind and body does not understand how to cope with it and hence, it comes out as frustration and anger. So just know, its not you, its just the energies and it's gonna be okay very very soon!!!

Pile 1

Your Dreams Need a Practical Plan (Full Moon In Taurus)

Your tarot cards are so much in sync with the oracle card, I honestly love when it happens.

Anywho, you have a goal in your mind, but you don't have a proper plan of achieving it.

You know, you fantasize about your goal, that you've achieved it, how amazing it feels and everything. Which is great and it literally feeds energy into your manifestations as well!

However, you got to atleast make a very starting, list of baby steps you will take in order to achieve those goals.

Currently, through the tarot cards, its clear that if you pursue your goals you'll end up as the King of pentacles, at the highest level of abundance. But, with the reversed 10 of pentacles, you aren't working with a well defined plan. The retrograde might be trying to pull your focus towards this, and with the full moon energy of the card, you would feel frustrated with as well. but take a breath, you know what you have to do. Start moving towards it and hopefully mercury will start being a little gentle with you!🫂

Pile 2

Its time to release negativity (Full moon in Scorpio)

You are good enough (Full moon in Virgo)

Cards are telling you to look at the bigger picture, you've got the world in your hands with the two of wands. Appreciate all that you have and look forward to the future with a lot of love. Also, be mindful of where you are putting your energy and from where you are receiving it as well. If there's anything which is not serving you, learn to let go of that and be intentional with it. The full moon is in Scorpio, which is a water sign, so you can try washing away the negative energies through water baths/shower, or whatever works for you.

The retrograde might also be pushing you to see how good and amazing you are. Its telling you to celebrate yourself more and love yourself more. You may have difficulty seeing that during this time, or whatever is happening in your life is exactly opposite to what the cards are saying, but that is just for you to realise how wrong all of it is, and reinforce your faith in your own self, and being confident with what you are and what you are becoming.

I'll give a little example of what happened with me recently, in my university. Basically my morale and motivation took a hit because of some seniors saying that my whole batch of '26 is not performing upto the mark. Which, personally, I know I am lacking over all, but whatever I am doing is my best. After stewing in that feeling for a day, I went to my club/committee seniors and they told me how well I was working and… everything was bright again.

So.. yeah, it sucks, but this is your sign to fuck the negativities out of your life, and focus on the better things, and make yourself a priority!!!💌

Pile 3

Show the world the Real you (Full moon in Aquarius)

I think you have been conforming, or living according certain rules in your life, which you dont necessarily enjoy or resonate with. It might be easier to just follow the traditions and the rules, rather than being yourself and acting against it, while having to defend yourself for embodying your true self.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, this retrograde will be hella pushing you towards breaking out of these norms, and finally emerging into the world as the real you. You might be feeling fueled up with a lot of inspiration and a lot of energy, because retrograde and the full moon energy of this card.

These might be huge transformations, changing your appearance, your hair colour, getting a new piercing. Or even mental changes, you might create new boundaries, or let go of old ones, revise new ones etc etc. You might even start questioning out loud about the norms and the regulations you used to follow. This would give you a good reality check of your likes and dislikes, and then you can start your transformational journey from there!!💓

Okay! This is all I have for you today <3.

I have tried my level best to give a proper reading, but it might get a little incoherent at some places (I am burnt out from uni assignments).

I hope this helps and you feel better during the rest of the retrograde🥺🫂

[gluion]

[TEASER] finger trapped (ripped to its seams) ➵ ji changmin

ji changmin x reader

with an unexpected reunion, you and changmin relive the memories of cheongju—and confront what could’ve been between you two.

inspired by ➵ "seasons" by wave to earth, the last five years

general genre/warnings ➵ friends to almost lovers, angst, fluff, the last five years story-telling method aka present will be told going backwards while past will be told moving forward (i hope that makes sense), missed chances, unexpected reunion, keeping secrets & lying, hurt/comfort, jealousy remains but love triumphs, tiger parents, journalist reader (u kno i had to do it), reader is a nerd and changmin is a student-athlete, kms jokes from jongseob (all /lh), finger traps aren’t efficient after all

word count ➵ est. 10-15k [now available! read here]

playlist ➵ end of beginning by djo // high school in jakarta by niki // i know it won't work by gracie abrams // no big deal (i love you) by dodie // keeping tabs by niki // no one knows by stephen sanchez & laufey // so what now by renee rapp // i wish i hated you by ariana grande // the 1 by taylor swift // seasons by wave to earth

a/n ➵ shhhhhhh.... i know that i'm still writing this but a lil motivation and accountability goes a long way SOOO !!! this is just a lil teaser for the upcoming jichang fic for the deoboyznet event <33 thank you again to my lovely @hcuyk for beta reading !!! (i've only written 1/4 please understand.) but i'm dedicating this to my lovely @sungbeam whose love for changmin is one i'll forever feel even to my ribs and @wavesmp3 who forever remains an inspiration in the way i write </3 plus, i've posted these snippets anyway so :P if ure interested in this fic, feel free to ask to be part of the taglist for this! and dont forget to always leave feedback <3

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlists

it’s a late night on a tuesday, about to be a midnight wednesday, and you’re in a convenience store as you scout for your dinner. all hauled up in the newsroom, the idea of ordering food during a time where restaurants would still be open slipped your mind. now, you’re left to scan through the same options you’ve eaten for the past years since you started living in seoul.

the convenience clerks are familiar with you, both kim jongseob and kim jiwoo. with your constant late-night meals at the store, you’d talk to whichever one had a shift. jongseob is saving up to upgrade his setup at home to record more music. with all the stories he shares about his time in underground rap battles along with the short verses he’s performed for you, you’re positive that he’ll get signed to a label soon. as for jiwoo, this is one of the many jobs she has in order to save enough money for fashion school. you’ve seen her sketches and outfits she’s put together and you’re hoping that she’ll get accepted.

a sigh leaves you. you didn’t have a problem with eating the food here but you were craving for something new in your life in seoul. the perpetual cycle of eating takeout food and unconsciously skipping meals for work needed to be disrupted just for a moment. but you weren’t seeking michelin-star food—all you wanted was home cooked, something from home.

the spice of tteokbokki, the burn of freshly fried hotteok, and the sweetness of homemade peach iced tea—mr. kim’s convenience store had it all.

your tastebuds long for cheongju.

“planning to beat your record of spending 23 minutes on deciding what to get?”

you roll your eyes before looking to your right, seeing jongseob stocking up the drinks in the fridge. “i hate you.”

“what? i’m just saying, you’re taking a lot longer to decide today.” he chuckles before placing the last bottle of sweetened probiotic milk in the fridge. “none of the options look good to you?”

“sort of,” you hum before you scan through the aisle of packaged meals. “i think i’m craving for something different.”

“i get it. the food here can get boring, which is why i’m planning to order pizza if you want to split the costs.”

your eyebrows shoot up at jongseob’s suggestion. “really? you’d share pizza with me?”

“yeah, as long as you pay for your share.” he shoots you a smile before grabbing on a trolley carrying empty boxes. “unless… you want to pay for the whole thing.”

you bite back a smile as you shake your head. you should’ve known the guy would ask you to buy him food, but you knew that he needed the money and you at least had a stable income to keep you comfortable. “fine,” jongseob’s smile grows as you fish out your wallet from your pocket and pull out a couple of bills. “just order enough for us two.” 

“of course,” he says as soon as you hand him some money. “i’ll make sure to order the most expensive thing on the menu.”

you scoff at his joke. “just make sure to treat me to something.”

the bell by the door chimes. “sorry, can’t hear you over that! need to attend to a customer!” jongseob quickly runs away from you while dragging the trolley. that little shit just knew how to press your buttons, but you love the kid, anyway.

still, you stand in the middle of the mart and your heart longs for home.

then, you shut your eyes, and you’re transported back in front of the familiar aisle filled with bags of potato chips and sweet corn. the noisy fan along with the soft sounds of mr. kim’s korean drama fills your ears. a mix of yellow and orange hues paint every corner of the mart, including you—and you’re not alone.

your best friend stands on your right, wearing the unbuttoned school uniform polo over a tank top along with jogging pants. he’s lost in thought as he scans through the options of snacks you two can have for today’s afternoon. he starts to giggle to himself, probably from a silly thought he’ll share with you in the next second or a memory involving you, and the dips in his cheeks appear—your heart thumps in your ears.

and just like how quickly you were transported back to cheongju, your surroundings transformed into the cool-lit convenience store found in seoul. all you have left is the image of him bathed in the sunlight.

but he fades away like the ink on old receipts, never gone, because the glowing image of him warps into a different version who stands next to you in the cold mart. he’s grown a few inches taller and his hair doesn’t get in the way of his line of sight. while he wears a green sweater, you notice that he’s gained some muscles. his eyes scan through the aisle behind you filled with different brands of instant ramen.

but he bites the inside of his cheek, and his dimples appear.

it’s a tornado that brews within you, enough to uproot trees and displace buildings, all because of an unexpected reunion with changmin. why did the universe decide to bring two ex-best friends on a random tuesday night? what brings him to the convenience store at the same time you’re there? and why did it have to happen a day before the interview?

you weren’t going to commit the same mistake; keep your eyes off of him and make your way out of the store. it didn’t matter if you had an empty, growling stomach, or gave free money to jongseob. you need to leave without the distant, familiar face noticing.

your feet act fast, and you're almost certain that might’ve caught his attention, but it didn’t matter as you see jongseob standing behind the cashier with his phone out. “i just ordered the pizza. it should arrive in about… 20 to 30 minutes.”

“yeah, about that…”

“don’t tell me you’re taking your money back.”

at the sight of jongseob’s pout, you roll your eyes. “no, keep it. i just—i need to go.”

“what? why?”

you peek behind you. it seems like he didn’t recognize you, after all. “i’ve got… work!”

“but don’t you only have your interview with the bo—”

“hey!” your fingers snap at him. “you cannot—i mean, you just… just take the goddamn money.”

“but we’re supposed to share the pizza. you haven’t eaten.”

an exasperated sigh leaves you. “jongseob, just treat me next time. i can eat at home.”

and you’re ready to leave the convenience store, bid farewell to jongseob and a delicious pizza made for two, and never greet or say goodbye to the living fragment of what you last know of cheongju—

“y/n?”

and the plan failed.

when you meet his gaze, you’re able to take in the different version of him. he’s grown so much—it’s such a pain that you weren’t there to witness it. his eyes are a pool of emotions; you can’t identify them.

all it takes is one breath from you. “changmin.”

a beat passes.

“i’m just gonna… go through the storage,” jongseob points his thumb at the back of the mart, “and maybe kill myself afterwards. i don’t know.” before you can protest, he’s already gone. (and he still has your money. that fucker.)

taglist ➵@winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel @stealanity @deobi0412 @blue-rainydays @maessseongs

[plebbypebblepleb]

Merry Christmas to my lovely moots!!

and almost happy birthday to me~ fufu, it's the 27th if you havent heard me yapping already! :3

So, to begin this, I want you all to know how much you really mean to me. Everyone here has been a huge part of the reason why i'm still doing art. I've been working on this and hinting at it since the start of the month!

I've been so excited to finish this project, and I hope that this will brighten up your holidays. Keep in mind, EVERYTHING IS PLATONIC!!

also, the order doesn't mean anything. it's just random! (i didnt even finish the drawings in this order, so i have actually 0 idea why it's like this lmao)

AND NO !!! I DONT HAVE FAVORITES. PLEASE DONT BE SAD IF YOUR NOTE IS SHORTER THAN OTHERS!! I JUST INTERACT MORE WITH THEM/HAVE KNOWN THEM LONGER. YOU ALL ARE SOOO IMPORTANT TO ME!! I PROMISE GUYS 😭😭😭

✦ Find your @, and read what I wrote for ya! Then, scroll all the way down for a little surprise ;3 ☆

Without further ado, LETS GET IT STARTED! 🩷🎀

@pr3tty-0n-the-inside,

where do i even begin? through my entire time in the outsiders fandom, you've been there and encouraged me throughout it. you complimented my silly crossovers, and we've overall had the best conversations. you've encouraged me throughout the entire magical girl series, and you're a big reason on why that was finished. thank you SO MUCH for being in my life. thank you for randomly messaging me when we became moots. thank you thank you, thank you. I hope you have wonderful holidays, you deserve it.

Your humor is so amazing, and I always find myself laughing whenever I talk to you. I love your roleplay account and just how you interact with people, and I love your personality.

“my fuckass computer unplugged, kill me” poetry. Words of an angel.

also, be a little nicer to yourself :3

@qqtofu,

i know we haven't talked that much, but i really do admire your art so much! you've been a huge inspiration to me, and just looking at your art gives me inspiration to draw! rin is my favorite vocaloid, and gosh, you really do her justice! i mean, how could you not? you're so super talented! and you're super sweet as well, I hope you have a great christmas/any holiday you celebrate, and i'd love to get to know ya better! <3

@charlie-bonkerz,

we've recently become moots, I know, but you still deserve to be celebrated! you have been so super supportive and I always have a smile on my face while reading your messages!

sometimes, I'll admit, I scroll back to that one compliment you gave when I'm feeling insecure about my art. (ponyboy drawing) I keep rereading it and it's been motivating me to continue doing art. Seriously, I can't stress how much those big compliments mean. I don't receive a lot of support for my art irl and your words really do have a huge impact on me.

thank you so much for being in my life, I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything. Also you're stunning.

@deim0sdread,

DALLAS!!!! thanks so so much for being in my life, you've genuinely encouraged me so much, and I couldn't be happier that I'm your friend! your oc was so fun to draw! thank you for your requests on the magical girl series, getting requests always makes my day so much better, and I get so happy whenever people show that they like my art! especially you, when I first saw how much you liked my art, I almost cried. You're the sweetest, merry Christmas / happy holidays (I'm not sure what you celebrate, but have fun with whatever it is :3) 🩷🎀

@sugarberry-beetle,

kk!! :o your oc was so cute and fun to draw! I'm so glad you randomly popped into my messages! our conversations always make me smile, and the way you type is sooo cutteeee 🩷🎀 thank you for calling my art cool, yours is 18.52% cooler than mine!!! >:333 merry Christmas/happy holidays kk!!!! :D keep creating art, id love to see it! and never give up writing! It's so adorable! DALBIT!!!!

@eepyguy1987,

youve been nothing but kind to me in messages and in my inbox! thank you so much, you make me so happy whenever i see an ask/message for you, and you're definitely a highlight of my days! thanks for being in my life!

@magefelixir,

hey there Felix! I know we don't interact much, but when we do, it's always a blast! your compliments and you expressing how much my art means to you is such a huge push for me to keep creating. If I'm going to be honest, that mesmerizer drawing was created in my head because of you! I'm so thankful for you, mwah 🩷

@cheryyy-valancce,

Cherry, you're genuinely such an amazing person and a kind soul. Your encouraging words and just compliments overall have seriously brightened up my days so much. Our endless reblogs talking about random stuff, and our conversations about vocaloid have been soooo sweet. I love interacting with you in character and out of character, because you're just so amazing to talk with!

Being your friend has been so memorable this year, and I couldn't be more grateful. I love you, cherry! I hope you have wonderful holidays!

@greasergirllll,

we haven't interacted much as of lately, but I do remember when we did, and gosh. That was so fun. You encouraged me so much to really finish off the greasers as magical girls series! Thanks so much, really. Im so grateful for our conversations, and I hope we can talk a bit more soon! 🩷🎀🌟 Happy holidays :3

@nexternalknowsthingz,

HEY THERE NEX!!! youve been such a huge inspo to me.. I don't know if you remember but I commented on a post of yours waaaayyyayay before I even started on any outsiders works.. and you responded and called my art cutee...ababahshaba

ok maybe maybe maybe I was squealing and blushing a bit and maybe I was rereading that comment

BUT!!!! gosh, youve seriously encouraged me so much. Your art is always so fun to see, and I love being moots. Thanks so so much for being my friend, and I hope you have amazing holidays! Hope to get to know you more :3

@boxxy-roxxy,

Rui, your art is sooo pretty. I love the down turned eyes and your colors, seriously, you're insanely talented! I'm so honored to be friends with such an amazing artist, and I still cherish that art trade we did. :3 the way you draw Johnny is so cute, and I LOVE seeing new art from you! I've said this before and I'll say it again. Seeing new art from you is like opening a Christmas present! Never stop, because then I'll miss ya!! (Unless you take a break, even then, I'll support you! You're awesome!!🩷🎀)

@six-eyed-samurai,

When I first saw your tokyo rev stuff, I was like, "woah!! that's cool!" and followed you. Pretty soon after were the long ass asks for the texts and such, and I was so happy when you answered them. I'm gonna be honest, I loved reading your authors notes more than I liked reading the actual texts.

Being able to call you my friend has been such a blessing, from the times you put up with my weird requests, all the way to now. Our headcanons have been so fun to make, and yes. In another universe, we're performing APT. with rindou, ran, inupi, and koko. It's been an amazing year, and I loved every second that was spent with you.

yes. you are a masochist. I don't understand WHY YOU ENJOY GRAPE FLAVORED CANDY?! ITS NOT SANE. ITS NOT AND I WILL STAND BY THE FACT THAT YOU BELONG IN AN ASYLUM. ALSO IM NOT WEIRD FOR DRINKING VINEGAR, ITS LITERALLY GOOD. YOURE CRAZY.

im so happy we can bond over Haikyuu, Tokyo rev, and bsd, and I can't wait to see how your novel develops as you keep writing it! You'll never understand how much you mean to me because I lack to vocabulary to express it. I love you so, so much sunny. I can't wait for my next Christmas with you. 🩷🎀🌟

@redfielddoesthings,

Carmim, jeez. I've been putting off your letter for so long since I just didn't know what to write. you're one of my best best friends, and I enjoy your company so much. Talking with you brightens my day in a matter of seconds. I love the way you type, I love your humor, I love your art, I love your ocs, I love your style, I love you. please never ever change.

You've told me many times that you enjoy how enthusiastic I am, even when I ask if I should calm down around you. I never showed it but you have no clue how much that means to me. I've never really had anyone before this that enjoyed how energetic I was, and to finally know what it's like is a dream come true. Your encouraging words and just overall kindness have been motivating me to continue drawing and doing what I love.

Calling you my friend is such an honor, and I'd never trade it for anything. My life was a boring ass textbook before this, but you took some silly little highlighters in a bunch of colors and scribbled all over the pages. you've lit up my life so much and I can't thank you enough. I love you carmim, /p.

also if you ever say "my art isn't all that" ever again I'm leaking our "insiders" chats. 😋😋😋 I WILL STAND FOR NOTHING BUT COMPLIMENTS FOR YOURSELF

ALRIGHT! the final message before I let you guys go on with your Christmas!

Sometimes I forget how much I'm loved, and how lucky I am to have you all in my life. Being friend with you guys makes me so grateful and helps me realize that people DO enjoy seeing my art. I mentioned this in a few messages, but I do not get much support from the people around me regarding my art. Your compliments mean SO much to me, and I couldn't be happier that I've met all of you.

going back to "forgetting how much I'm loved," I'm sure you guys do too. Keep this as a reminder of how much I care about you and how much you mean to me. You deserve everything and more, and I can't stand to know that a world exists where I don't have all of you. I don't wanna think about the fact that you guys may feel that someone doesn't care about you, because I do. I need you to know that I do care and I will always be here for you. I love you guys so much, and I could never be happier.

AND WITH THAT, WE'RE FINISHED!!!🩷🎀

time taken (for everything combined) : ~22hrs 50m

[ganondoodle]

Not gonna lie, the "It looks like a Divine Circle but is actually just hundreds of years of superstition & propaganda"-Concept is the coolest fucking thing I didn't know I needed until ten minutes ago. It's a super cool inversion of the classic trope, opens up a million possibilities for stories and arcs and on top of that, in game, you would obviously not know about it form the beginning but slowly have to collect clues and hints that things are not quite as everyone tells you.

So yeah, very cool concept!

Not directly related, but it's probably no surprise that my favorite Ganondorf line is the "I coveted that Wind"-line from the finale of Wind Waker. He doesn't even go into detail, cause he doesn't have to, this line alone instantly humanizes him. Like, its the end of the game, we are about to fight him, there is no way this will not end in a fight, and yet, at that point, that line, just goes so fucking hard. Because you instantly know what he's talking about, that he simply wanted a future for his people, which, you know, is a very human thing to do. It wont stop us from fighting him here and now, way too much has happened for that, but it reminds us, the audience, that he has motives and reasons and thoughts and is an actual character.

So yeah, in case it's not obvious yet, I too despise the extremely flat "I'm evil because evil, waaaaaaaaagh!" Ganondorf from TOTK. Why even include him if you cant be arsed to actually write him?

Anyways, last thing, I'll have to somewhat disagree on the Gameplay vs Story thing, at least partially because I work in the field and have had experiences with this problem myself. Not saying its impossible to have both, but its a lot more difficult than one would expect.

Towards your point, yes a good story can pull people through a game, but so can strong gameplay. Take the Doom games, I dont really care about their story, but the gameplay is great. On the other hand, the gameplay of the average Telltale game would be incredibly boring without the story behind it. There are hybrids, but even they tend to lean one way or the other: The Assassins Creed or Uncharted Series have solid and fun gameplay, but would probably get repetitive or boring if we didn't have strong characters and stories that keep us interested. And all of that is before you consider that there are different player types that gravitate to one or the other and it gets even more complicated. (There's more to this but I my thoughts on the topic could easily be a full bachelors Thesis, so I'll stop here.)

I should add that I dont think that the gameplay over story (or vice versa) argument can or should be used to defend games or design choices. Yes, Nintendo does prefer to focus on Gameplay over Story. Does that mean we shouldn't expect a good story, or are not allowed to criticize a bad one in their games? Hell no! (And if my previous ask sounded like I was doing that, I apologize, that was NOT what I meant to say! I'll happily critique all of TOTKs flaws, both in gameplay & story, otherwise how can we learn from it?)

This argument can be used to understand and analyze or interpret design decisions but it shouldn't ever be used to defend them. Just like the "just for kids" argument, by using such arguments, the person in question basically admits that they are aware of the weaknesses and faults in their story/game/whatever but didn't fix or improve them. So yeah, I do agree with you on that front 100%, hiding behind such arguments is a problem.

Anyway, sorry for leaving another wall of text in your inbox, hope you're having a nice day!

thank you! that 'cycle' concept is also what destiny (zelda comic) is based on, since it takes place before skyward sword you get to see the set up for it, and, in this story, the gods have been trying to achieve it countless times, throughout the story of it its supposed to slowly be revealed- like demise already knowing some parts since hes yet another 'failed' version of that plan (im reusing that concept for the totk rewrite as well bc i am very original wahoo)

oh you work in that field! thats cool!! yeah my opinion on this sort of thing is very much a thing i formed bc i play games, though i still dream of gamedev, i guess i understood your mention of it a little too much into the dismissive argument way (though not as an attack) and its been repeated so so many times i cant help but get a little >_> at it; the point i was trying to make was more like ... they need to find a balance with it, like you can make it all about gameplay, but then dont pretend you have the most epicest story that ever storied, maybe even do it less or more subtle, like the fromsoft game i feel like are very well balanced in that regard, bc their lore and story is very neat and intertwined, but you have to look and think to get it, and the gameplay is strong on its own so much so that it kinda ends up being both soemthing for people that dont care about lore and those that do, more than about the gameplay

zelda feels like it doesnt quite know what to do (even moreso modern zelda), bc they prioritize the gameplay but then still put in a story that they want understood .. so its like, babiefied? like there is a "simple" story and its few points are repeated into your face over and over and over so the people that dont care to read into soemthing GET IT but also annoy them, bc they dont care anyway, and the people who care about lore/story above gameplay are bored bc the narrative isnt engaging enough and they dont care as much about the gameplay

especially so with totk i think, its so weird, botw wasnt like that imo, it wasnt overly complicated either but at least it left you wondering, and let you think, the more you thought about the more interesting it was (at least to me) totk feels like the opposite, it doesnt want you to think, bc the more you think about it the more it falls apart and makes less sense

like theres types of games that focus HARD on one or the other (like slay the princess for example, its like an interactive audio book, there isnt much gameplay but it goes hard on narrative), so obviously the balance of gameplay and story isnt applicable to every game, but for zelda in particular they say they are one but then still want the other part just as much? like the lore in skyward sword isnt great, the characters are strong though, the gameplay isnt that engaging (to me, since that needs to be said) i got through it mostly just bc i wanted to see what comes next and liked the characters, in botw the freedom and world and gameplay were like nothign i ever experienced, exploring was addictive and the story took a bit of a backseat, but it was fitting for the game and lend itself so well to theorize, in totk they .. idk what the focus was, the .. glue? the toys to glue together? nothing fits together there and each part works against another instead of together, somehow, its so weird to me

the thing is, if you do gameplay over story, you need to roll with it? if thats what it is then let the story take a backseat, make it subtle and in the background or vague, dont stuff the game full of unskippable cutscenes where a character you dont care about explains you a thing you already figured out through the gameplay; like the zelda dragon point, let the design of the dragon and its music, what its carrying speak for itself, the way the deku tree is weirded out by the sword moving, maybe a quick subtle voice line once you get the sword fading away like the last parts of her soul being whispered away- but dont mention it in one of the first cutscenes, fail to bury it in 'thats illegal though and irreversible so nono dont you do it' (why mention it then huh) allude to it multiple times, and then just straight up show it (i get people like the scene but man, it would have been way cooler to figure it out yourself)

same goes for the fake zelda thing, the weird way she said the bloodmoon text already alluded to it, have her show up here and there but vanish before you (no "omg thats zelda omg what is she dooooing") , or go even harder and make her an NPC standing around the world interacting with you all nromally but animals react weirldy to her- make the midfight against her (maybe even that she isnt talking so you are unsure if its actually her but controlled by sth else, or talk all normally while literally going for your throat) and then have her dissolve into goop and woa the bloodmoon thing is without her now the zelda you have been talking to has been fake the whole time, its creepy!! leave out the stupid cutscenes of showing it multiple times!! stop monologing at me!!

ppl that dont care about it can go and do a fight and i can think about it! everyone wins yahoo!

(actually ... if you leave out all the cutscenes in totk i feel like it improves the game by alot ...)

(what my point in the previous thing was in the end that you can repeat the same old trope only so many times without changing anything before it gets boring as hell, like what you said here, and the series seems to really be setting itself on fire bc it just wants to do the trope of old so badly and at some point its gonna drag down even the best of gameplays like gameplay over story means (to me) gameplay is prioritized so whatever narrative there is is in the background, subtle and not overtly in your face with big cutscenes etc- but what i feel like its often supposed to mean is "its fine if theres a shitty story that makes no sense pasted on top bc they prioritize gameplay so stop complaining" like to me what it should mean is more gameplay, less story, a measure of quantity not of quality, but what i feel like it often means is better gameplay, bad story, a measure of quality, not quantity )

maybe my problem lies elsewhere and im just projecting it on gameplay > story, that could very much be the case, i could have a fundamental missunderstanding about this here, im still just a guy with opinions in the end and got no knowledge about anything other than i play games sometimes and these are the things i like and dislike and would do differently *puts my head in my hands*

idk if im making sense, im usually not very good at explaining how i feel or think :/ (or i THINK im bad at it, autism be damned)

(sorry this got so long again ......................)

[total-drama-brainrot]

psycho!noah au, what do the aftermath cast think? conversely if they dont know/dont see the show (isnt it implied to be canon in wt that they watch the show or atleast can?), how do they react to newly eliminated cast members telling them?

and then, at whatever point he gets eliminated or just whenever the cast sees him again, how do they react with that new info?

The justification I have for Noah remaining stealthed under his "stoic cynic" persona pre-reveal in this AU is a little convoluted, but I do have one. Vaguely. Which I'll try to outline here for continuities' sake.

So, to clarify; Noah only competes in Island and World Tour, just like in canon. Most things happen just like canon, with the exception of Noah lasting a little longer in Island so he and Izzy have more time to be menaces (I have no idea how I'll shift the elimination order to justify keeping him around, though). Noah's still eliminated fairly early and ends up on the Playa, where the other elimination fodder welcome him with open arms, because in Island they're only given access to the raw camera footage instead of the final cut!

I imagine it'd be pretty hard for a Brand New Show to have the manpower of a full professional editing team that can plan and prosecute the final cut of a whole ~20 minute episode in only three days (in-universe), so to keep the losers as in the know as possible in real time, they're given access to the same live camera footage Chris and Chef have, just without the confessionals.

Since the confessionals are, uh. Toilets. And no one wants to have 24/7 access to toilet stall footage.

Noah only ever really drops his ruse in the confessional, or around Izzy, so none of the losers have gotten the opportunity to see the real him in action; even when he is visible on camera, it's only during the stolen moments he shares with Izzy outside of challenges, wherein the two plot and scheme together like Pinky and the Brain. Given that the majority of them don't even bother to watch the live footage unless there's a challenge actively happening (or something else otherwise noteworthy), his true nature goes undetected amongst them as well.

And then, in Action, the show's budget and workforce increases. Suddenly, the editing team is thrice the size of Island's, and they are capable of providing a final cut of each episode within the span of 24~72 hours, allowing the show to air quicker. Which has the added bonus of allowing everyone in the peanut gallery access to the yet-to-be-aired episodes (instead of the live footage), keeping them up to date with the competition whilst also giving them the same perspective as the audience itself. Including people's confessions.

It's a good thing Noah didn't compete in Action, then. His mask of indifference lives on.

Then there's a year-long break between seasons, wherein Noah works under Chris as his personal assistant. Yada yada yada, World Tour happens. He knows that the losers are going to see his confessions. So now Noah has to choose between maintaining his persona at the sake of losing out on toying with the greater audience, or carrying on as he did in Island at the cost of revealing his 'true colours' (which, in this case, still isn't the real Noah so much as an exaggeration of his more deranged tendencies, since Noah's still essentially performing for the cameras; just with a different role).

Of course he goes with option two. He's primarily motivated by his own amusement- that was the reason for his whole charade in the first place.

(Alright, clarification over, time to actually answer the question.)

So the peanut gallery and steadily increasing number of World Tour Rejects are horrified when, in Noah's scattering of confessions- as he doesn't confess very often, so when he does it's a treat to himself and the audience- he mostly waxes poetic about how exciting each near-death experience the cast go through is, and all of the different ways he so wanted to cause the others harm (either in general, or themed around the challenges), being so much more expressive than anyone's ever seen him (concerningly so, to the point of it breaching the uncanny valley) and giddy over the prospect of performing Acts Of Incredible Violence against his castmates.

They're living in that same fearful anticipation the wider audience experienced through his tenure in Island; waiting for Noah to Drop The Act and fulfil his promises of brutal sabotage, if only to finally put an end to the constant looming threat of his self control snapping. They're horrified bystanders of a car crash waiting to happen (at least, they think they are. Noah's not actually gonna do any of the things he's suggesting, probably, but keeping the audience on their toes is one of his favourite games!) and each episode he features in is a test of both their patience and their own sanity.

Because, could you imagine watching your friends interact and be friendly with someone who (you think) is out for their blood, entirely unaware of the danger? that's literally what they're experiencing.

And Noah, because he's a little shit who thinks he's funny (he is), sometimes goes so far as to fake-out the audience by rearing up attacks against his castmates during challenges, only to shoot the nearest camera a wry wink and a sly smile as he carries on with the actual task at hand, the others none-the-wiser.

It becomes so concerning, in fact, that every new arrival is immediately checked over for any signs of injuries or Noah's Influence and hastily given the rundown on The Situation. Which is, more often than not, met with the same incredulity as Sierra's claims- until they're shown various clips of Noah's confessions, or the fake-outs and otherwise unhinged looks he teases the cameras with.

-

For the second question; I have no idea. I'm still workshopping how people will react to Noah, and how Noah in turn will react to them. Post-reveal p!Noah will, eventually, disclose the fact that he's not as bloodthirsty as he portrays himself as, but until then it's anyone's guess as to how far he'll take the bit- and who could/will get hurt in the process.

[yanderepuck]

OMG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT U DID LIKE. SELF HARM COMFORT FICS I JUST READ YOUR ARTHUR ONE ITS SO GOOD!!!! IIF YOU DONT MINDD could you do likee MC asking one of the guys to kill them..?! I'm curious abt what certain reactions would be!! uhmm you can choose which character to do but preferably leo, arthur, or theo? :3 TYSMM

I'll do lil headcanons of the the three.

THAT BEING SAID!!!! YOU READ THE ASK!!! YOU KNOW WHAT IS COMING. IF YOU DON'T LIKE ANGST OR DON'T WANT TO BE TRIGGERED THEN DO NOT READ THIS POST. I ALWAYS ASK FOR YOU GUYS TO INTERACT IWHT MY POSTS BUT I UNDERSTAND IF YOU CAN'T WITH THESE ONES. BUT EVERY COMMENT IS APPRECIATED

Leonardo

He looks at you after he heard those words. Did he hear you right? Did he just hear you ask for him to kill you? So many thoughts were going through his head and he wasn't sure which one to focus on. This man has a fear of harming you. Yes he won't bite you but that doesn't mean he wants you to die.

You are sitting on the bed crying. You have been in a depression pit for a little over a month now. You can't find motivation to do anything. It might sound selfish, but he would be able to do it so easily.

"Cara mia..." he finally snaps out of his thoughts and pulls you into his lap. There's no chance of getting out of his grasp. You cry louder into his chest. He starts to rub your back, feeling tears form at the corner of his eyes. His voice is shaky but he forces it out. "I...I could never. I love you."

You clutch onto his shirt, just crying harder. Being alive hurts so much. Feeling nothing would be better at this point than constantly thinking of killing yourself. If you could just stop thinking it would help so much.

"I'll help you get through this. Don't worry," he talks softly, trying not to cry too much himself.

~~

Arthur

He freezes at those words. Hes been trained not to freeze in these conditions but how could he not when it's someone he loves.

You're sitting on the edge of his bed, crying. He just finished bandaging up your arm after you just tried to do it yourself. Did you really just say what he thinks you said. Your sobbing just gets harder. Your face is soaked, tears running down your chin and dropping off onto Arthur's hand.

"Love...I..I could never," he reaches up and holds your head between his hands, not caring how wet they get from tears. You didn't dare to move. You didn't deserve his touch but you couldn't muster the energy to move. "I love you-"

"Y-you said- you said you would do a-anything for me!" You half scream half sob. Was he just lying? He said anything.

Arthur gets on the bed with you, getting you to lay down with him. He wraps you in his arms and plays with the ends of your hair. Your cries don't stop. You want to push him away. You want to say horrible things. But you can only cry.

"Shh. Relax, love," he talks softly, holding back tears of his own the best he can. He's not even worried about the blood all over you and him. You keep your arm close to your chest, wanting to keep some distance between the two of you. You don't deserve to be held.

He kisses the top of your head. He thinks back to when he worked as a doctor and how he would help his patients. "Why don't I tell you a story?"

~~

Theo

He blacked out for a moment. Kill you? No no. This couldn't be happening. The two people he loves the most are both-

He snaps out of it and quickly wipes the tears from your face. "Hondj- Liefje..I could never," he brushes the hair out of your face. His touch is soft and gentle. He doesn't take his eyes off yours.

Your eyes seem so lifeless, like there's no light behind them. He's seen this look plenty of times before and he never thought he would see it on you.

"T-Theo pl-please," you plead through your tears. "It hurts. I hurt so much," he's strong. He could make it quick and painless. He would barely have to try.

He's desperately trying to find the right words to say. "I-I can't" tears form at the corners of his eyes. "You can hate me if you want but I could never hurt you. I love you."

You can't look him in the eye. You're too.. embarrassed? No. You're scared. Scared to see the look on his face.

"Come here, Liefje," he pulls you into his body. Not caring how wet you get his clothes. He's not letting you go.

[velvetwyrme]

transformers one is out now!!! have yuo watched it yet?? how was it?? c:

HI ANON i hope you dont mind that i kept this in my askbox for a couple days because I hadn't watched it yet (wanted to make sure I was No Longer Sick, because being sick in the cinema is Not Great) and also technically it hasn't released here yet,,,? BUT apparently they've got advance preview weekends for like. the same price so Obviously I went.

ANYWAY I HAVE WATCHED IT NOW AND IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!! THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

AHHHHHHHHHH hold on I've been talking nonstop about it for like the last. 4 hours. fucking help me. or dont. I love to chatter and will continue to do so under the cut shjfkgnwmbfks so if you count this, it'll end up nearing 6. I'm... probably going to talk about this as if you know the general premise of the movie, but if not. Google it. Or just go watch it!! (Can recommend) I talk too much to summarise it fhfjfbskdnfkf

Vague spoiler warning because I don't know what I'll talk about rhdjfbekntkr,,,,

Edit: If you've been following me for any amount of time, you know that when I say this got long, you really do have to believe me on that.

My mom liked it as well???? She came with me because I didn't want to subject any of my irl friends to my tf rambling and she didn't want me to go alone fbfkfbkd I thought she wouldn't, but SHE LIKED IT.

Okay so first off: going into the theatre, I was so so afraid that I was going to have the same thought I had after watching Puss and Boots: The First Wish, which was- "I REALLY liked that, and it would have been one of my favorite movies if I was still a child." (Still a really good movie!!)

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE THAT. I JUST REALLY LOVE THE MOVIE FULL STOP.

Anyway, onto my wild rambling.

The visuals were superb!! Gorgeous. No notes. Freaking amazing animation and character design and world design !!!!! I'LL COME BACK TO THAT I COULD YELL FOREVER ABT WORLDBUILDING. The characterisation is so so good, so tasty.

Also because I'm a huge honkin nerd...

The movie is largely focused on the dynamic between Orion Pax/Optimus Prime and D-16/Megatron, but the other characters also shine through really well, and they show off a lot personality even with the ones with very few scenes. Elita-One is a fucking delight I wanna kiss her!!!!!!! She's so cool and pragmatic and it SHOWS in what she does and how she acts. She IS better than you, and she knows it. Even Starscreams confident yet cowardly nature is shown with him lounging on a throne and slinking off after his fight with D-16, and he's barely there!!! RAHAGGHHH I love what you can do with characterisation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also my god this movie was funny. Even when the pacing is fast it's a GOOD fast. Comedic moments are used really well in this, and it flips smoothly between that and the more serious and heartfelt bits.

AND HRHFJFJDK okay so maybe its just my sense of humor, but I found Bee to be really really really funny. He's just like me for real!!! Talks too much, excited as HELL about everything!!!!!!!!! HE'S JUST LIKE ME. I also told my mom this and she was like. "Yes! He is jist like you!! He talks a lot. You would do the knife-hands thing. Also, you're wearing yellow." And. I was. I am. hrhfjfjfkkghdk 💛💛 Shockwave in this movie is ALSO very funny. He gets punched <3 Many other characters also get punched, but he complains about it. He reminds me somewhat of TF Animated Shockwave but less intimidating sgdjfbdjfbdmfbmd

Speaking of characters... Airachnid was so pretty. I love her design so much!!!! She's alien and COOL and I love her!!!!! She has so many eyes... (I'd ALSO love to know more about what her deal is. But... her lack of a motive/story is made up infinitely by strong screen presence and personality) Sentinel was ALSO very pretty and I loved seeing him on screen but I (spoilers) loved seeing him get ripped in half more. Those were LOVELY shots.

I brought my mini Soundwave along with me!! I liked Soundwave in the movie even if he didn't play a big part <33 The "there sure are a lot of waves" joke was VERY funny because I had the exact same thought moments before.

There are a LOT of cameos in the film and I kept going "AHHHHH [CHARACTER]". I get why they didn't add more as main characters- there were a loooooot of characters running around already, and only 2 hours!! Even so, I still wish we saw more of the other characters that cameoed (JAZZ!!!!!! MY BOYYYY!! I WAS SO SCARED THEY'D KILL HIM OFF) or had minor appearances because I just. I want to know what they'd do with the characterisation........ but that's what fanfic for for ig ehfjfhdk,,

And on the topic of lovely shots, theres a series of scenes near the end of the movie with no dialogue, only music and sound and. It's SO good. It's so impactful and beautiful and ausuaiaiurhrgh...

The whole movie is inherently sort of a tragedy since it's a prequel. We all know how it ends; what these characters become. But the build up to that is so SO good. I loved the character progression- D-16'S PROGRESSION TO BECOMING MEGATRON IS!!! AHHHHH!! I loved seeing him shift from one perspective to another and they made it believable.

His anger and betrayal giving way to violence- there's this one bit shortly after they are given the ability to transform where you See that violence in D-16 fir the first time, and it's shot so starkly in comparison to the other characters (who also fight to get away) and it's just like. Oh. There's the potential for something dangerous there.

It is so so interesting to me to see how that violence is framed in comparison to the others- all three of the other protags have their moments of violence- Elita-One is very very intimidating and used violence/threats to get her way, and Bee has this lightheartedness/innocence to his violence... Orion Pax is just. he's doing what needs to be done, he takes no joy from the destruction- he's fighting back, but I think most importantly all of them know when to stop.

There are the fights and punches that get thrown around, and then there is D-16 wailing on Starscream. Megatron RIPPING SENTINEL IN HALF. God that scene was good.

Anyway, sometimes in media a character goes through a Big Event that changes or breaks them, but here? There is no breaking point for D-16/Megatron. It's a slow spiralling descent and you see him taking one step after another, deciding to continue down this path. This is shown in a more literal way with his eyes slowly changing colour through the movie (fucking SICK SHOTS!!!!!!!) but there are a dozen more moments where you can see him decide who he is becoming.

IT WAS REALLY GOOD, I LOVE SHIT LIKE THAT.

And as audience!! Though we know this change is inevitable!! (This is an event in the past- the end of this is already written!!!) It's still tragic!! I feel for him!! I want him to keep getting back up in the face of Sentinel's cruelty!!!!!!!!!!

Orion watching his friend change, seeing them grow further apart... and he still hangs onto that hope right up until the end (and even after that!!!!!! He banishes him, because he will not kill him!!)

imo, they did Orion Pax/Optimus Prime really well in this one- he gets into a lot of trouble and it somehow works out. I think they do really well in making him feel down to earth in this- he's punchy and dynamic and has this unwavering respect for the people around him, but he's also good at being tricky and manipulative to get interesting outcomes that nobody else could have considered- he knows how people tick on an individual level and he knows how to use that. He thinks differently, and it's fantastic. Most importantly, Orion can see something nobody else can: a world where things are better.

Orion becoming Optimus... ough. aough. It's so!!!!!! AHHH. I loved all of the sequences that follow after. When his signature axe made an appearance I was so excited it was REALLY COOL. ALL OF IT WAS SO COOL.

The fight choreography is FANTASTIC and while it was a little messy at times (so much... going on........) it was fluid and dynamic and mwah mwah mwah I love it.

ALSO I SAID I'D YELL ABOUT WORLDBUILDING but this is really really long already so like. I'll keep it short as I can

The glimpses of the society that exists is FASCINATING to me. We don't get to see much of it, because our main characters are purely of the lower classes, so what's available to us is quite limited, but the class structure is INTERESTING to me. Unlike IDW, where form dictates function, this universe is driven (ha. ha.) on the idea that some Cybertronians can't transform (and thus work in the lower classes, as miners and waste management etc.) but as it turns out, (spoilers) they actually get their transformation cogs removed before they come online. And like... I can't help but wonder how they pick who gets that treatment?? Luck???? I'm dying to know.

ALSO I really like the Quintessons (sad they're not the the horrible five faced creature things. I wanna see the Weirdos!!!!) but I still think these fuck hard. They're really buggy and organic and cool (I adore their ship designs holy shiiiiiiiiit- just yesterday I was admiring all the bugs and monsters and crabby things in Guild Wars 2, and now THIS?? BLESSED.) And the CYBERTRONIAN DEER ARE COOL!!!!!!!!!! I like them. That's all. I wished we got to see more of the bio-mechanical parts of the planet...

AND AND THE PLANET ITSELF HOLY SHIT AHHHHHH!!!!! The city is gorgeous- the spires going up and down is mwah amazing. The roads and rails appearing/disappearing as they are used? PEAK. The MINES and the surface of Cybertron. They're shifting, moving, alive. I legit was staring slackjawed when they were in the mines- it's just SO COOL to watch!!!

OKAY. IM DONE NOW.

...

AUGH I want to watch it again. I probably WILL watch it again.

If you got all the way down here, thank you for reading (?!) and please tell me what YOU thought of it if you've seen it 🥺👀 Or if you're going to. I definitely recommend it.

[nin-deer]

Ch 143

i mean i think we all knew deep down the kiss was gonna happen based on the flow of the story but i think this chap reveals a lot about gorou and sarina

(uh warning this got a little out of hand so its pretty long lmao)

so.

i dont think anyone's completely in the wrong, but i definitely don't think they're in the right either. (not that i condone incest; its just that their motivations led them to this specific point. would the story have been fine without it? hell yeah. please i actually prefer it that way. but this is the direction the author decided to take it, so we have to take it as it is as a point of learning more about the character's motivations)

Let's first analyze sarina and gorou's relationship pre-reincarnation. I think I covered this in my last post where I rambled about onk, but gorou is doing a doctor thing where he "accepts" sarina's proposal just to make her happy. We learn in this new chapter that he basically catered to her every request, and that's what started that infatuation. we know from previous chapters that her bio family's shitty, so the only place she would get this love is from gorou. we also learn in this chapter that it's not actually a romantic love but a fanatic love, for lack of better terms. she sees him as her idol. does sarina even know what it feels to be romantically in love with someone? she spent her whole first life in a hospital, isolated from others her age. she spent her second life very curated and protected because of her mom and her future career; she couldn't really live a normal life. (we'll get back to this point later) all she knows about love is through her idols, so she's channeling it into (what she thinks is) romantic love for gorou.

gorou, on the other side of this, is an actual adult who had an actual life before all this, so he knows what a normal life is like. assuming sarina is one of his first patients, its obvious to see that he got attached, which is a very risky situation for scenarios like this. we see this attachment made her death worse, as he threw himself into following Ai to cope for her death. not gonna go too in depth about this here because, again, i made another post for this that i'll probably link at the end bc im referencing it more than i thought... continuing! he knows sarina doesnt have long left so he wants to do what he can for her, thus creating that "idol" persona sarina has for him.

we see in his regret in this new chap that he actually knows what he's doing and is aware of the consequences of his actions. ruby doesn't. she doesn't regret anything. as someone who reads a lot of isekai/reincarnation stories, its easy to joke that ruby and aqua are their old age + their new age, but that isn't necessarily true for ruby. sure, aqua is old and this could apply to him. but ruby? she didn't make it past 18 before she died. she's like,,, 13 times 2. double 13. she never fully developed in her first life, and she's developing in this current life. it's like a continue from where she left off. aqua actually was an adult, so he has all the knowledge and wisdom of an adult. why does this matter? shift your attention back to the concept of love for a bit. aqua knows what she's doing is bad and is trying to stop her, but the knowledge that she's sarina is making him automatically succumb to her wishes. a part of his brain, because of the trauma, still sees ruby as the sickly sarina he was caring for.

ruby is naïve. she doesnt know what love is. all the love she's ever been exposed to is whatever she saw online: idols. i dont even think she fully knows what the concept of family is. aqua is her brother? nope. aqua is the doctor she proposed to and now she has a chance to follow through like all the shows she's seen. she's closer than ever to him, so why give up the chance? even as ruby, she wasn't exposed to a lot of normalcy because of idol culture. she isn't able to learn about the difference between platonic love and fanatic love. we even see this with ai, who she sees more as an idol than her mom. the joy is in her idol being her mom, someone who's supposed to care for her. it's like shes living a fantasy made just for her. because aqua was so obsessed w revenge, he didn't have the chance to teach her anything, and it's not like he needed to learn bc he already knows. ruby doesn't.

aqua, as the one who understands these nuances, should have sat her down and explained things, but he didn't because of the trauma of sarina. ruby is ignorant and is treating things like a tv drama, now that her dreams as sarina can finally become true. aqua doesn't realize how serious ruby is about this because in his mind this is just a child playing house. ruby is like,,,, imagine you die and you wake up actually being sold to one direction. or whatever happens to you in your fav self-insert scenario/fanfic. idk a better analogy lmao but its like finally being able to play out your fantasies irl. she doesn't realize the real world impacts of her actions because, frankly, she doesn't care. she gets to live out her life as she wants. aqua was shocked after the first kiss with ruby because he realized then she was being serious, but he didn't speak out about it because, again, the trauma™. (we see him again uncomfy with the whole situation in the next page, but his lack of objection could be bc it's a scene in the documentary and he finds it more important to get revenge rn) ruby kissed him then because she purposefully created the mood like that so it would fit in the story she was writing in her mind.

so what does this mean? because of their shared pasts, aqua and ruby are put in this situation where ruby can do what she wants and aqua goes along with it. even if he knows its morally wrong, he can't bring himself to break ruby's immersion in all of this. BUT. big but. aqua shouldn't act like this. they're both capable of living out their lives as normal (barring the revenge and the whole idol stuff). he doesn't need to act like this anymore; ruby's not terminally ill. he's not a doctor. what he should have done was firmly deny her stuff he knows is wrong because then he can educate her about the reason why. as much as their personalities are inspired by their past lives, sarina and gorou are dead. they need to move on and live a aqua and ruby. (Harsh, I know, but because of this scenes like *gestures vaguely to the newest two chapters* happens. if aqua stood his ground and taught ruby about familial love and that what she's feeling is probably not romantic, i think this could have been avoided. but alas, we need it for the ~drama~)

-

sorry that went on way longer than i thought lmao. i think i covered everything i wanted to say but im too lazy to read back so fingers crossed

if you made it this far and are curious about the other post i mentioned in the beginning, its here. i just think its some context to my thought process but not necessary to understand this post

[delicatetaleprincess]

Whats in your mind

It was a cold morning when I was told to come here, it was so cold that my hands got numb

"Good morning Mr. Milo ******, I hope you know why you are here today so you can help us"

I spoke to the young man in front of me, his head hang low and his cap cover his face

"Please just dont call me by my last name, im not in good relationship with my family..."

His voice sounded broken, like If he had lost all motive to life

I couldnt control when by body let a unvoluntary sigh

The the young man infront of me was pityful, like most of the victims that had enter to interrogation

"Very well Mr. Milo" I said with a heavy tone "I need to know what you were doing the day of the incident"

The young man stay quiet as his body trembling when his hands shot to his face

"It wasnt suppose to happen like that..." the young man in a soft murmur

"What are you talking about Mr. Milo?"

I spoke remaining calm, his words highly suspicious

"Her surprise, the surprise for my Light!" the young man spoke this time louder, his shaky voice emphasize the word "Light"

I wrote down his words in a paper

"I asume that must your lover"

"She was more than my lover!" he scream, his hands went from his face to the desk

The sound of the desk being slam was loud as a gun shot in the silent room

"She was my world, my reason to life, my goddess!"

His breath quicken and for the first time in the whole interrogation I manage to see a glimse of his eyes, they look directly at mine under the cap that have gotten disarranged in his discontrol

I glimse of madness in them

"Mr. Milo please remain calm"

I spoke his ragged breathing starting to control and he slowly slumb back in his seat yet his body remain trembeling

I push a glass of water to him but It remain untouch

"Please proceed" I say when he seem to be more calm

"I was preparing a surprise for my Honey...i waited for them them outside when It happen, thats all" he say in weak murmur

"Do you have anyone who can corroborate your statement?" I ask writting It down

The room fell in a heavy silent, his head slowly lift up, finally facing me

And felt a chill run down my spine as i finally face him

A tired and broke man, yet his eyes shone with a dangerous glint I couldn't put my finger on

"You know everyome in that building is dead, right? My friends, my teachers, people who I didnt even knew and...my Light and you are asking me for a witness?" he said coldly

"..." I remain silent "We'll ask the people who were around that day"

"Is this all you need It from me?" he ask never breaking eye contact, a silent order for this to end

"This will be all"

As soon as i said those words left my mouth he stood up, the sound of the chair snap me out of my thoughts

"Mr. Milo wait"

I spoke out stopping him mid action at the door

Shuffling through my papers I finally found what I was looking for

"Take this"

"A pamphlet?"

he stare at the cover then at me

"You should go there, for what you told me you must have no one left, here you'll be able to return to your studies as well as to get a place to stay"

He stare at it and then at me

"It could also help you start a new" I added hoping he would take It

"I'll think about it" he said before leaving

He is pitting me

And he is a fool for that, like everyone was in that hell of a school

But I can do use this oportunity

To complete my Light wish

I'll find my perfect love

And if it cant come naturally

I'll make It

After all my Light as teach me well enough all I need to know

My Light i'll make you SO proud