#i included them but used the relationships more so
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bathypelagicbutch · 12 hours ago
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the first time i was treated even remotely respectfully in public when i first transitioned was at 3am in a 24 hour pizza place while high out of my mind on shrooms. i was in full drag with a full face and it was the first and only time i was ever gendered correctly and respectfully in a public place while presenting femme. i pass now, and I'm thankful that i do, but the amount of effort I've had to put into making my body as acceptable as possible for people just so i don't get harassed for more reasons than being Black in places i don't belong (super white grad school lmao) is wild. i shouldn't have to make myself look like you want me to fuck you for you to respect me, and it really shouldn't be that hard for queer people to realise that that is literally what most of society, including white queers, forces us to do. there's a weird intersection with Blackness and masculinity for both Black men and women that i feel gets pointed out a lot, but i feel like the hypermasculinisation of Black women unless they present sufficiently slutty is something that only gets talked about at length for cis Black women and queer Black women in general. mainly because whenever the dolls try to bring it up the only response is immediate horniness or complete denial. it's also interesting that when i started presenting more masc i started passing, but since then the amount of horny white people who've been unable to remove the rupaulified fucktoy version of me in their brain for long enough to listen to me when i try to talk about how much it sucks being butch and trans has increased. exponentially. you all have too many issues with Black men to even notice how your racism affects every part of how you view Blackness in general.
speaking of! follow up to that earlier thing i said about not being able to be masc and trans without ppl needing to remind you that they only support you for your ability to fuck them ‐ it's worse when you're Black, and you white queens do it too. and i really don't think you realise you do! because I've talked about this with almost every person I've been with (if I've even been allowed to before being dismissed without a hint of concern) and most of them just admitted to doing this at some point in our relationship. so instead of being philosophical I'll just use a few examples from the past 3 years (because they get worse if you go earlier and also i. do not have to)
you don't get to call me sir in bed because I'm masc and you said you want to treat me like a guy in bed (you're gay please stop confusing Black masculinity for being a man and work on your issues before fucking me) and you especially don't get to use this as leverage against me whenever i discuss how racist the relationship dynamic is despite your incredibly vocal support of my activism. you don't get to use my body or the right to demand that i use your body because you have a fetish for Black men, and you aren't allowed to get upset when i point out that this is the most supportive attitude you've had towards any part of me the entire time we've been together. you don't get to take out your frustration against Black people or Black men by making me fuck you, and again you don't get to get upset when i point out how fucked up that is that you call yourself an ally and then only use that allyship to get dicked down. you don't get to assume that because I'm Black and masc i'm the most aggressive top you've ever come across and you don't get to white woman tears your way out of it by using your own transness as a pass. you aren't allowed to enjoy Black bodies if we're only a commodity to you (which you openly admit) and you similarly don't get to white woman tears your eay out of it by using your confused sexuality as a pass.
i think I've made my point so I'm gonna stop! but yeah can you all be normal about Black people thanks a million blushes sweetly
kinda uncomfortable how ppl cant celebrate black trans women unless they are superduperhyperfeminine with 19 layers of makeup + expensive surgeries/weaves/dresses and looking like theyre going to walk the red carpet every day
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hyprfixate · 2 days ago
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for the taking :: [B.C] x [H.J] x [K.S] x reader
read on AO3
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summary: of your three boyfriends, you like to push chan's buttons the most so that he'll really get things going. you sadly underestimate how wild things can get when you rile him up.
pairing: kim seungmin x bang chan x han jisung x reader
tropes: poly!skz mmmf foursome, porn without plot
smut warnings: mentioned free use dynamics, dacryphilia, dom/sub dynamics, brat play, overstimulation x100000, pussy eating, implied mxm dynamics, dom jisung, soft dom/sadist seungmin, hard dom/brat tamer chan, mentions of safewords (it's not used), unprotected sex but it's a long established relationship, reader initiated slight cnc, dirty talk, reader is called a slut as a degradation thing. it's really just pure filthy, not a plot point in sight.
author's note: i didn't plan to write this at all. idk where it came from. enjoy anyway!!
word count: 8.7k
You're laying on your stomach in your bedroom. The lights are dim, music is thrumming from your speaker, and there's a candle on your wax warmer.  It's a quiet, soft night, the kind that you don't see many of. There's always something going on in the duplex you share with your partners. It can be tiring, but in the quiet, you realize you sort of miss it. You fiddle with the green beaded bracelet on your wrist as you scroll aimlessly through your phone.
Then, the door across the hall slams.
Only you and Chan are home tonight, Seungmin and Jisung off God-knows-where for whatever reason. Chan was supposed to go out with them, but he had a project to finish for his job, the same project that had him losing sleep for the last few weeks. You may never understand what exactly goes into producing music, but from the way he stayed hunched over his computer 24/7, you knew it was complicated.
You're not at all surprised when you hear your door creak open slowly. You turn over, eyes catching Chan's as he stands in your doorway with his arms folded across his chest. He's wearing a haberdash of house clothes, including a baseball cap, but you can still see the dark tint on his eyes.
You feign innocence.
“Hey you,” you smile at him. “Taking a break?”
“Something like that. What're you doing?”
You shift your phone to the hand with your bracelet, holding it up and giving it a little shake. His gaze hardens even more. “Just on Instagram.”
His eyes are trained on your wrist, just like you wanted. He recognizes the bracelet. Of course he does– he and the boys bought it for you after one of your many, many conversations. You give a little smile. "It's cute, right? The green matches my t-shirt," you say sweetly. 
It does, but that's not the only reason you're wearing it.
You're wearing it because they know that green means go. Or yes. 
Or take.
"Did you need something, Chan?"
He doesn't respond, choosing instead to push up off of the doorframe and make his way over to you. You decide to roll onto your back to see him better, and by the time you're situated, he's standing over you, arms still crossed.
You gulp.
"Um, hi," you breathe out. Nervousness was not part of the plan. "I– Did you... need something?"
He drops one of his hands and grips your ankle, and where the skin connects you feel like you've been electrocuted. Your body comes alive immediately. You can only watch as he barely strains a single muscle as he pulls you down to the edge of the bed.
"Put your phone down," he instructs. He reaches the soft part of your thigh and pinches, lips curling into a smirk when you yelp.
"Channie, I—"
"I said," he repeats, a little harsher this time, "put your phone down."
You do as you're told, dropping it on the floor next to his feet. He keeps pulling until your entire lower half is hanging off the bed. With your legs spread like they are, you're certain he can feel the pulsing coming from between your legs.
He hums.
"You know why I'm here," he says lowly. It's not a question.
Despite the speed of your heart, you blink up at him dumbly, fighting against the wave of arousal that licks down your spine when he raises an eyebrow.
"I don't know what you're talking about," you manage.
Both of his eyebrows are up now, his expression seemingly surprised for a second before it fades. He nods lightly, almost as though contemplating what you've said, and then he releases you and takes a step back.
Your heart drops for a second. You think you've messed up somehow, or maybe your tone didn't come out right. You're about to backtrack, but then he's back, hooking his fingers into either side of your waistband, and with one simple tug he has your pajama pants completely off. 
If Chan is surprised that you're not wearing any underwear, he doesn't show it.
You gasp when the cool air hits your lower body, and you watch as he smirks. He returns his vice like grip on your ankle when you start to squirm under his gaze. 
"I see you still like to pretend that you have some ounce of control in this relationship," he deadpans. He tugs you back down the bed when you try to wiggle away. You're embarrassed that his strength doesn't seem to be affected by his sleep deprivation. "Come on, baby. You know better than that."
You fight back the giddy smile that threatens to take over your face at his voice. "I don't know what you're talking about," you lie. "Why're you bothering me? Don't you have work to do?"
"I can't focus," he says smoothly. "I couldn't stop thinking about you while I was working. About how much easier work might be if I could fuck you to clear my head."
"That's too bad," you shrug, hoping he can't see how you're clenching around nothing. "I was busy."
He hums absentmindedly, letting the hand on your ankle travel higher. He runs his fingers up your calf, then your knee, until finally he hooks the inside of his wrist behind it, forcing your legs to part. You gasp and try to snap them closed, but he only has to shift a bit so that his other hand is on your opposite leg, holding you open for him.
"Why do you always act like you're not dying for me to touch you, hm?" he asks, but it's rhetorical.  He knows you don't have an answer. You never do. Even so, when you stay quiet, he huffs out a humorless laugh.
"Okay. I'm going to give you two options, because I'm feeling generous." He holds up one finger. "Option one, you admit you're just being a brat, I'll fuck it out of you, and then we can both go back to what we were doing. Or–"
You whine as he abruptly leans down with your legs still in his hands, effectively folding you in half. "Or, option two, you keep it up, and I can tell the boys to come home. Then we'll make this a lot longer than it needs to be."
Chan is dangerously close to your face now. The brim of his hat is touching your forehead. You're almost sure he can feel your heartbeat through the fabric of both of your shirts.
"So what do you want, princess?" he asks, voice dripping with honey. 
You shiver. His gaze is so intense you forget how to breathe. At your silence, he yanks you further into him, pressing himself right up against your uncovered cunt. Even through his basketball shorts you feel the unmistakable heat of his erection.
"I said, what do you want?"
Fuck.
You can't take it anymore. You feel like you're burning with need. "I'm sorry, Channie," you whine out. You can see the fire in his eyes, the way he's so worked up already, and it makes you weak. "I'll be good."
He gives you a sweet smile, leaning forward to press a kiss against your mouth. You sigh into it, letting your body go lax so he can take control. 
Despite your attempts, brattiness never lasts long with Chan. With Seungmin and Jisung, you love the challenge, love making them crack and beg a little, but Chan is entirely unrelenting. You know better than to get him too riled up, especially if you actually want anything to happen.
The kiss is a stark contrast to what you know is to come, and you know that it's on purpose. He always likes to give you the chance to back out, a way to change your mind. Bracelet or no bracelet, your comfort is still always his first priority. It's what makes you comfortable enough to tease him.
But when he pulls away from the kiss and you chase after his mouth, he only smiles.
"There's my good girl," he says. He releases your knees and presses a kiss against your cheek, and then the tip of your nose.
"Chan," you whine. Your body feels cold where his hands just were.
He only tilts his head when he looks at you. "Hm?" Then his gaze turns sinister. "Did you... need something, princess?"
Oh. 
Shit.
"Wait,” You're scrambling up from your position. “Wait, please, Chan, don't–"
He hums. "You were so mean to me," he says, trailing a single finger down your cheek. "I don't think you deserve anything from me."
You attempt to sit up, eyes widening, but he's keeping you pinned down on your bed. "But I said I'm sorry," you whine. "Channie, please, I'll be good--"
He tilts his head again, pretending to think, letting his hand fall down your face to hold your chin between his thumb and forefinger.
"No," he decides, and he straightens up, taking a step back. "I think I'm gonna go back to work."
Before you can grab him, he's slipped away, nearly halfway to your door. "Sorry, babygirl. Maybe next time, yeah?"
The smirk on his face is proof he's anything but sorry. He gives you a fake little pout before winking and stepping out of your room, clicking the door closed behind him.
You're sat up on the bed, staring at the door with your jaw slacked. This is a new level of evil, you think. You hear his bedroom door open and shut, then the muffled sound of the track he's working on vibrates the walls.
It takes longer than you'd like for your wits to come back to you, but when they do, you're both utterly gobsmacked and thoroughly impressed.
He's teasing you.
There's a part of you that's tempted to just give in, to make your way across the hall and apologize. Chan is stubborn, but not unreachable. You know if you march into his room, you could get on your knees and make him relent in seconds.
But fine. He wants to play dirty?
You can play dirty, too.
-
It's less than an hour later when you hear the front door open and shut, the sound of Jisung and Seungmin's voices carrying up the stairs. You hear takeout bags and the jingling of their keys, and then–
“We're home!”
You make no effort to move, waiting to see if Chan will leave his room first. Besides, you're still working through some of the details of your plan.
If you stay in your room, Seungmin would come upstairs to check on you first. You know he'll fuck you good, but it takes time to warm him up. By the time you start getting anywhere, Jisung will get to Chan, who might do something stupid like tell him that you were being a brat, and then he'll come in and ruin the whole thing.
No, you need eager. You need impulsive.
You need Jisung.
You pad to the bedroom door, opening it and sticking your head out. Chan's door is still closed, the track he's working on still pumping through the speakers, so you take the opportunity to get the ball rolling.
You make your way down the hall and to the top of the stairs, where you can see Jisung standing in the entryway of the kitchen. The two have already shed their jackets and shoes, and Seungmin is now busy unloading the food they brought back into the fridge. His back is turned to you.
Bingo.
"Hey," you say softly. Jisung's head whips up, eyes brightening as he spots you. He says something you can't hear to Seungmin before he's jogging up the stairs towards you. He scoops you into a squeezing hug.
"Hi my baby," he says happily, pressing a kiss against your forehead. "How was your day?"
You giggle in the hug. "It was alright. Kind of boring. How was yours?"
"We had fun," he says. He sets you down and leans against the wall next to you, reaching and catching your hand in his. You deliberately give him the hand with the bracelet, but he doesn't see it. "I missed you though."
"I missed you, too."
Jisung grins. He opens his mouth to speak again, but then he furrows his eyebrows when he looks at you, like he's just noticing something.
"Is that my shirt?"
“Is it?” You look down, feigning surprise. "Oh, yeah I guess it is."
He hums, tilting his head. His eyes trail to your hand, and he finally seems to notice the bracelet on your wrist. "That's weird. I could've sworn I saw it in my drawer this morning."
You shrug. "Maybe you're just losing your mind."
He grins, bringing your hand up to his mouth and pressing a kiss against your open palm. "Yeah, maybe. Or are you trying to tell me something?"
You bat your eyelashes up at him. "Am I?"
His smile turns sly. "You are, aren't you?"
Jisung doesn't wait for a response, clasping his hand around yours and pulling you down the hallway back into your room. He kicks the door shut behind him and spins to face you, a wicked grin on his face.
You squeal when he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and laughing against his mouth. His kisses are hot and eager– there's no break for breath as he moves across the room with you. You don't even pause when he lays you down on your bed, hand sliding “his” t-shirt up your body.
You shiver when he brushes against your thigh. His hands are cold from outside, and the contrast against your warm skin feels like electricity. He smiles in the kiss and squeezes the skin tight.
Your own hands find their way around his neck, pulling him even closer into you. Through the thin fabric of the shirt you're wearing, you can feel the hardness of his body all pressed against yours. He shifts against you and the friction makes your nipples harden right under him.
His hands leave your thighs. They wind their way up your torso, feeling you up all along the way until he finds the stiff peaks that called his attention. He runs his thumbs over them, drinking up every sound you make. One of your hands cards into his hair and you tug.
He groans at that, finally pulling away from the kiss with a grunt and instead trailing his kisses down the column of your throat. His teeth graze your pulse point and you buck up into him in surprise.
You feel him laugh against you.
"You're so cute," he says into your neck. He mouths over the skin before biting down, hot wet tongue immediately after. A bruise, then.
"Sungie," you gasp out. Your back arches off the mattress as his hands wander all over you. You've always loved how naturally his mouth works its way around your body– he knows just where to kiss, what spots to brush his nose over. Like he's learned the entire road map to your pleasure.
Maybe he has.
He mouths down your body, pausing and sucking on your breasts before leaving wet, soft kisses down the expanse of your tummy. When he gets to your core, he shifts his kiss-trail over to your inner thigh.
"Do you know how hot you are?" He murmurs. "Like all the time. Holy fuck. This is my shirt, princess. My shirt. Don't you know that drives me crazy?"
You do. It's precisely why you grabbed it.
His tongue meets your skin in an agonizing, slow stripe along your inner thigh. The higher he gets, the more your legs tremble around him, until finally his lips close around your clit.
The feeling is overwhelming. Your head lolls back against the bed and you let out a breathy moan. He hums against you, fingers digging into the skin of your thighs as he holds your legs up. Your hands are shaking, but one winds its way back into his soft hair, and you tug.
He moans at that, a sound that sends vibration up through your whole core. He takes a hand away and brings it down, letting his thumb just press lightly against your entrance. Even in the slightest sense of pressure, you arch further into him, wanting more, more, more.
He sucks on your clit even harder, his tongue joining, and when you look down and see his blissed out expression between your legs, you think your heart might jump right out of your chest.
In all the times the boys have taken you apart, they've never made you come this quickly. You're not sure if it's because of the moment with Chan earlier, or because you've been thinking about having one of them fuck you all day. All it takes is two large fingers, pushing and stretching inside of you while his mouth moves so perfectly around your throbbing clit for you to snap. You come with a sob, your thighs pressing against his head.
If there's one thing Jisung certainly loves, though, it's eating you out. He could spend hours between your legs, kissing and sucking and licking until you're boneless and spent. So there is no sign of slowing in his rhythm, even when you wriggle from overstimulation.
"Sung," you moan. He responds by pinching your thigh, sucking hard on your clit so your yelp turns into a moan.
Distantly, you register the sound of footsteps that pause right outside of your door. You hear knocking, but not on your door, and you realize Seungmin has finally come upstairs, likely to grab everybody for some quality time after a day apart.
You almost laugh at how well this is working out for you.
Jisung slides his fingers back into you, and your attention is split between straining to hear what's going on in the hallway and the blinding pleasure you're feeling. He curls his fingers up and you find yourself gushing on his hand, your own fingers tangled in his hair so tight he can barely move.
"God, you're so fucking wet," he murmurs against you. He almost sounds giddy. "Did you miss me, baby?"
You can't even form a response, only able to whine as he fucks into you with his fingers, tongue flicking over your clit just fast enough to make you tremble. Your orgasm is coming on strong, and you feel like you're floating above your body, every touch electric, every movement monumental.
And then–
"Ah, so that's where they are."
Your eyes snap to your now-open door. Your other two boyfriends are there, and you make direct eye contact with Chan just as your second orgasm reaches its peak. You arch up off the bed, gasping into the air as your body trembles, and Jisung keeps his mouth on you, sucking hard and making your vision go white.
After a minute, he finally slows his pace, pulling away and finger-fucking you slowly and deep. He would never stop completely, especially not now that everyone's in the same room. His voyeurism is likely cranked up to 10, and you know he'll be pouty and whiney for the rest of the week unless he gets to watch one of the other boys split you open on their cock.
From the way he's looking at you, you feel like it'll be Chan doing the splitting.
Seungmin, ever the sane one, pretends to roll his eyes. "So this is why neither of you were answering my texts about movie night? This couldn't wait?"
"Well, she was wearing my shirt and nothing under it," Jisung says, grinning up at him. He gives your clit one last suck before kissing it and propping himself up, fingers still buried to the hilt inside of you. Your brain feels foggy as you stare at the three of them. You can still feel yourself gushing on his fingers.
Seungmin notices, eyes glued to your cunt as he walks over. You see his faux annoyance dissolving. "Fuck, she's really wet, isn't she."
Jisung grins. He presses a kiss against your inner thigh. "Yeah, I think she missed us."
Chan scoffs. He finally makes his way into the room fully, and you can see where his cock is straining against the fabric of his shorts. "No. She missed getting fucked." 
He stands at the end of the bed, eyes fixed on Jisung's hand as he continues to move inside of you. "Did you tell Jisung what happened earlier, baby?"
Jisung huffs out a little laugh, half lidded eyes going back to your face. "Hmm. No. She didn't."
A chill runs down the length of your spine. Fuck. It sounds like Chan got to them first.
"Chan said you were being a real big brat earlier," Seungmin hums. He pulls his eyes away from your center and finally looks at you. "Is that true, angel? Were you being bad for Chan?"
You shake your head, eyes going doe-ish as he gets closer to you. You realize you need to change your plan and do it quickly. It takes less than half a second for a new idea to come: Seungmin is the softest of the three of them, at least in sexual situations. If you can get him on your side you might have a chance.
That thought flies out of the window when his hand makes its way around your throat, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure. 
"Don't lie to me, sweetheart." His voice is deceptively soft. "Don't you think Chan already spoke to us?"
You fight back a gasp at the sheer betrayal, but decide to double down anyway. "Wasn't being bad," you manage. You stick out your bottom lip in a pout. "I didn't do anything!"
Seungmin squeezes again, harder, and you really do gasp this time. "Then why did we both get a text from Chan earlier saying you were being mean to him? Hmm?"
"He said he came to blow off some steam and someone," Jisung presses his fingers directly against that squishy part inside of you, "Was being all bratty. Telling him to leave her alone."
It's at this moment that you realize all your planning was futile. You've fallen right into their trap.
You try the Seungmin strategy again, panting as you look up at him. "Minnie, please," you whine. You can't think with Jisung hitting your spot like that. "I wasn't– I–"
He tilts his head. "Oh come on baby. I think you're just lying to us now."
Your chest heaves. Jisung has chosen now to dive back into your cunt, tongue swiping up your slit and circling around your clit. Your brain is too scrambled to think of any other ways out of this situation, so you resort to what you always do: 
Pleading.
"'m sorry, Minnie," you rasp. "Didn't mean to– Didn't mean to be bratty."
Seungmin softens only slightly. "Are you sure?"
"Yes!" You're gasping around your words. "I promise. I just wanted to make him mad, wasn't trying to be mean."
In all of your begging and the relentless fervor of Jisung's tongue, you barely notice Chan making his way to the other side of your bed. Seungmin's grip loosens around your throat, his fingers tracing the outline of your jaw as he takes in your words.
"Hm. What do you think, Chan?"
You turn to look at him. He's shed his shirt somewhere along the way, and the hard musculature of his stomach is glistening with sweat. He climbs onto the bed and situates himself so that he's behind you with your head in his lap. You're expecting his hand to replace Seungmin's around your throat, but instead he reaches over you, gripping the hem of your shirt and sliding it up over your chest until your breasts are on full display. Seungmin immediately sinks down to his knees and takes your nipple into his mouth.
You're a gasping, whining mess, eyes rolling back until all you can see is white. You feel Jisung sling his arm around you to keep your body still.
Above you, Chan lets the shirt go and switches his focus to your hands, pulling them up and holding your wrists together in one hand to keep them above your head.
"I think," he murmurs, using his free hand to caress your face, "That if she wants to cum so bad, we should let her."
Your heart drops. To the untrained ear, it sounds like you've won, but you know better. You know Chan, and you know he has something up his sleeve. But when you look up at him, he's looking down at you with a sickly sweet smile.
"If she's sorry," he continues, "She'll behave. Right, babygirl?"
You can't speak. The dual sensations are sending you to the moon. The hand caressing your face grips your jaw tight, keeping your gaze locked on him.
"I asked you a question, princess."
As soon as you open your mouth to answer, your orgasm crashes into you without warning. It's the third one in a row, and you feel much like a washcloth that's been wrung out. Your movements are jerky, uncoordinated, and even as you continue trying to respond to Chan, your voice is not coming out.
"Jisung." He says simply.
The boy in question pulls away from your cunt with a satisfying pop. He's absolutely pussy drunk, eyes half lidded and tongue rolling over his lips to savor the flavor of you. If it were just the two of you, he'd keep going, but amongst the hierarchy of dominance, Chan has been, and will always be, at the top.
"I think she's ready now, yeah?" Chan rubs his thumb against your skin. "Fuck her good for me."
When orchestrating your own plan, you looked at Jisung’s eagerness as something to work in your favor. You hoped he would get you riled up enough for you to scream his name a couple times and really make Chan mad. But now, as he shimmies out of his sweats and boxers, taking his thick length in his hand, you feel nervousness tickle your gut.
Seungmin has pulled away from your nipple, reaching down to hold one of your thighs up. He's murmuring sweet nothings to you as he holds you open for Jisung. The latter is poised at your entrance, stroking himself and watching you with hungry eyes. 
You tip your head back to look at Chan again, and he only smiles down at you.
"Channie," you whimper out. You can barely speak, you're so overwhelmed. "Please–"
"Shh," he coos. "I know, baby. But this is what you wanted, yeah?" His hand moves from your jaw to your mouth, pressing a finger against your lips. You suck it in without thought, letting your tongue swirl around him with your cheeks hollowed out like you would on his cock. "I just want to see you take Sungie's dick. Be good, baby."
You almost choke when Jisung thrusts into you. You're already so wet and so sensitive, and his cock is stretching you so wide, pushing deep inside until you're sure you can feel him in your stomach. He gives you no time to adjust, that eagerness coming full force as he fucks right into you.
"God, she's still so tight," he breathes. One hand finds purchase in the dip of your waist, the other moves to the thigh not being held by Seungmin, folding you up and spreading you open to give him more leverage as he fucks into you hard.
Seungmin hums, trailing kisses along your leg and the side of your neck. "Feel good, angel? You like having Jisung's cock inside you?"
You can't even respond, mind blank as Jisung plows you deep. Your back is arched off of Chan's lap, head pushed back as his finger keeps your mouth propped open. You're a dumb, drooling mess around him, and despite the soft smile on his lips, you know it's wrecking him. 
To prove your point, he digs his nails in one of your palms, a stark contrast to the way Seungmin's hand is gently rubbing up and down your body, playing with your nipples and caressing your sides and stomach.
It's all too much, the sensations are overwhelming, and you're so wound up from earlier that you already feel the orgasm building. You mewl pathetically, eyes watering as you look around for someone to have pity on you.
It's Chan who catches your pleading gaze, but he only raises an eyebrow.
"You're gonna cum again? Already?" he says. It's not condescending or snarky, rather genuine disbelief and curiosity. His finger leaves your mouth and you let out a dry sob as trails of spit drip down your chin.
Jisung doesn't hear this– or can't, rather. He's fucking into you like he'll die if he stops, breathy moans leaving his mouth as he does. He's babbling nonsense, things like how tight you are and how well you take him in. You know he's close too, because his hips have gone erratic in their rhythm. Yet somehow, he gets faster.
The knot in your stomach feels heavy as lead. This orgasm might genuinely take you out. 
"Please," you rasp. "Please, please, I can't–"
Chan shakes his head, smiling. "Oh, but baby, I thought you wanted to cum?" 
"I do," you whine. "Want to so bad but 's too much. Too much, Channie, please–"
"No. Shut up and cum, princess," the grit in his voice is back. "Cum on Jisung's cock. Be good for us."
That's all it takes for you to snap. You let out a broken cry as another orgasm rocks through your body. It's even more intense than the others, pulling all of your muscles taut so you sit up before slumping back into Chan's arms. You barely register the way your hands flex uselessly above your head, writhing in Chan's grip. You can only vaguely feel Seungmin kissing your cheek, whispering little encouragements in your ear, telling you how good you are and how pretty you look when you cum.
And then Jisung is grunting, snapping his hips against yours one last time before spilling into you. Your walls spasm around him as he cums, milking him dry and causing you both to whine into the air.
In typical Jisung fashion, he's still rutting up into you after you're both well past overstimulation. The pressure in your cunt throbs throughout your body, tears springing into your eyes. You're very close to abandoning the little bit of pride you have and begging him to stop.
It turns out you don't need to, because as if on cue, Jisung finally pulls out and Seungmin lets go of your legs, standing up. You nearly sob at the loss of his gentle contact, so you don't even notice he's taking off his clothes until he's standing where Jisung was, hands gripping the soft skin of your thighs to hold you open. 
"Aw, baby," he says softly. He runs a hand up your leg. "You did so well."
You pout, a sob bubbling in your throat when you realize their plan now. They're gonna drag as many orgasms out of you as they can, overstimulation be damned. The thought makes your clit throb, and that alone makes you whine. It's all too much.
Despite knowing you're already so wet and lax and malleable, Seungmin reaches down to rub at your clit in an attempt to open you up. 
"Min," you cry, squirming at his touch. Your cunt feels tender, and even though the first set of tears are long dried up on your cheeks, fresh ones start to come. "Minnie–"
"Shhh. It's okay, angel."
His words are gentle and reassuring, but when his eyes catch yours, all you see is darkness.
Seungmin's gentle dominance has a limit. He doesn't get all stern and mean like Chan, or desperate like Jisung, but there's only so long he can last before that other, darker part of him surfaces, the one that gets off on hurting you, on seeing you in pain and feeling good from it. You can tell by the look in his eyes that this is the part of him you'll be dealing with.
When he finally sinks his cock inside you, it's slow, and the moan that he lets out vibrates through his length and right into you. Your neck seems to give up, dropping you right back down in Chan's lap less than gracefully. It gives him better access to you, and he leans immediately to attach his mouth to yours. He alternates between soft kisses and hard bites that will surely bruise in the morning.
Seungmin is only a bit longer than Jisung, but he's so damn girthy. Every tiny thrust he rocks into you sends shivers down your spine. Your skin feels like it's on fire and you're not even kissing Chan back, basically panting into his open mouth.
"Prop her up, Chan," Seungmin grits out. "Wanna watch her while she cries."
He gives you one final peck, and then the hand that's still holding your wrists lets go. It takes a second, then both hands are under you, lifting you up off the mattress until you're sat up on his lap with his chest against your back. He crosses your wrists against your chest and holds them in one hand, and then the other snakes up and finds your throat. His hand is way bigger than Seungmin's, and he's not as gentle when he squeezes and forces you to look back at him.
He doesn't look mad, or even turned on. He's smiling at you, like you're a particularly good puppy. "Good girl. Gonna give us a big one, yeah?”
You barely have a moment to understand what he's implying before you feel a hand on your clit. Both of Seungmin's hands are occupied, so you're not sure why it surprises you to see that it's Jisung's deft fingers on you. He's standing behind Seungmin, one hand on him and the other on you.
It feels like your eyes are bulging out of your head. The touch is gentle, but it still feels like you're being hit with lightning bolts. You're too spent to even buck up at the contact.
"Oh my God," you choke. "Oh, oh, I–"
“That's it,” Chan purrs when you cum again. He kisses whatever skin is closest to his mouth, his fingers gripping your jaw. Your head feels light, the only thing keeping you grounded to the bed are their hands on you. You feel like you're going to faint, and Seungmin's eyes are only egging you on.
Your body trembles so violently, Seungmin is forced to pause in his motions to hold your knees and keep your legs from buckling in. Your vision is blurry, but you can see Jisung has a steady grip on Seungmin's hair, effectively holding him in place.
"Good girl," he breathes, those big brown eyes trained on your face. "You take him so well."
His words send shivers down your spine. Jisung is always more coherent and in control after an orgasm. You know if Seungmin was today's focus, Jisung would likely be spitting all kinds of nasty, filthy words in his ear, but his gaze is fixed on you. All it takes to get you going is a good stare.
He taps at your clit with his free hand. You jump, moaning loudly at the contact, your back arching off Chan's chest and into Seungmin's body.
"She's good. Keep going," Jisung murmurs, pulling his eyes away from yours to look at Seungmin. He pulls a little at the hair on the nape of his neck, causing Seungmin's cock to jump inside you.
They work in tandem. Jisung's hand keeps circling your clit in the same soft rhythm, and you're not sure how but it's making you even wetter and more loose. You're a mess of moans, not knowing whose name to scream when they all have their hands on you. It's dizzying in the best way. 
Seungmin has started rolling his hips into you with more vigor, the soft sound of skin slapping skin filling the room. The dark shroud over his eyes is back as he stares down at you. "Feels good doesn't it," he grunts. "Look at your little cunt fluttering open for me like a good slut."
You feel another sob bubble out of you, this one accompanied by tears, but it dies in your throat when Chan's grip on you gets even tighter. All you can do is pout and whine.
"Aw, look at the little crybaby." Seungmin starts to fuck into you in earnest, his own moans getting higher in pitch. You can tell by the way Jisung's grip in his hair tightens that he's close. "C'mon angel. You're being so good, you can take it."
"Minnie," you rasp, barely able to speak. "Please–"
"I said take it." He’s looking down, watching where your cunt is sucking him in with each thrust. He thrusts into you particularly hard, and your entire body lurches forward, causing you to gasp. "And if you can't, you know what to say. You know your word."
You do. Somehow, under all the begging and pleading, you're actually insanely giddy with want. It's all part of the little game you play, so you just pout pathetically at Seungmin as his hips snap harder into yours.
"She's not gonna say it," Chan sing-songs. He uses the hand on your throat to tilt your head to the side, giving him perfect access to more of you. He nips at your skin. "She likes being treated like this. Like a little toy."
It's all too much. Every inch of you is on fire, the room feels like it's a thousand degrees. Chan's mouth on your neck, Seungmin's cock deep in your cunt, and Jisung's fingers–
It's like something snaps.
A knot you didn't even realize was in your stomach explodes and your vision goes white. It's an orgasm unlike anything you've experienced before. Your brain completely melts, your hearing dulls, and you can feel the drool running down your chin. You feel like you're floating and drowning all at the same time. 
"Oh shit," you hear Seungmin groan. Your cunt is spasming around him. His thrusts become harder, sloppy. "God, fuck–"
He cums hard inside of you, hips jerking as he chases the aftershocks. You've gone completely limp, barely able to move at all as Chan continues to bite at your neck.
The hand on Seungmin's shoulder drops. "That's so hot," Jisung mutters, almost to himself. He's lost some of his in-control voice. "Wow, baby, you should be bratty more often.”
If you could see straight, you'd probably laugh at that.
Seungmin pulls out slowly, and when the head of his cock leaves you, you let out a tiny mewl. You're overstimulated to the point that you're numb. Seungmin smiles softly as he rubs the inside of your thigh.
"Oh, sweetheart, I know. It's a lot. But you're being so good for us.  I think it's Chan's turn though, hm? Wanna make him feel good?"
"Give her a minute," Jisung chides. You hear a sharp intake of breath and you know he's likely yanked on Seungmin's hair again. "She's about to pass out."
You can feel your limbs slowly returning to you, the fog clearing in your head. When Chan moves the hand from your throat, you breathe deeply, taking in gulps of air as moves his hand down to rub against your tummy. Jisung and Seungmin are bickering somewhere around you, and you let yourself relax in Chan's hold.
"Do you want to finish now, princess?" His lips are warm against your ear. "We can be done. You don't have to take me.”
It's a very tempting offer, especially with the way you can hardly remember what day it is. You could easily take it and call this all done. The four of you have almost certainly been at this for more than an hour now, and they've wrung six orgasms out of you. They're sweet enough to offer to call it a night.
But then you think about Chan, and how, despite being the reason this all started, he's barely done anything. Hasn't tasted you, hasn't shoved his cock down your throat– He's usually not one for letting go until you've milked him dry at least twice, and you can't stand the idea of him having that buzz under his skin all night. 
So you shake your head.
"No?" Chan laughs, almost like he's surprised. "Really? You still want to finish with me? Are you sure, princess?”
He's giving you the same offer he gave you earlier. An out. Making your comfort the first priority. The thought alone is what gives you the strength to nod against him.
"'m sure, Channie."
"Oh, fuck, okay." His grip around you goes a little slack as he moves, pulling you away from his lap and  laying you back into your bed. He leans over you and presses a gentle kiss against your mouth. It feels like he's thanking you, almost.
When he pulls away, his eyes are sparkling. You want to look into them for hours.
He barks something at Jisung and Seungmin, and the bickering stops immediately. You hear shuffling around you before Seungmin takes Chan's empty space and Jisung appears at your side. They're pressing soft kisses to your face and praising you as Chan works his shorts and boxers down. When his cock springs free, he lets out a hiss of relief.
The sight of him alone makes anxiety rear its ugly head. You start to wonder if maybe you should've taken the opportunity to tap out, or if maybe you should use your safeword, but then Jisung is grabbing your hand and pressing kisses against it, squeezing you and keeping you tethered to the present.
"You can do it, pretty girl," he murmurs in your ear, breath fanning over your cheek. "You did so good for us, just a little longer."
Chan catches your eyes, and he smiles again, reassuring. His hand runs down your body and grabs one of your legs, lifting it and hooking your calf over his shoulder. "Gonna go easy, baby. I know it's a lot."
Your stomach is filled with butterflies, and your hands are shaking a little bit when he ruts himself up against you. You're so open from the others that when his head catches on your entrance, it nearly slips inside.  
Your back arches as you moan, and then his cock brushes against your entrance with purpose and it feels like you're going to split right open. He rocks into you again, pushing in the barest inch and pulling right back out. You whine and shift your hips in an attempt to escape.
"Come on, be a good girl now, princess." His voice has gotten lower, lust taking over. "Relax.”
His eyes flit up from where you're connected to look at you, and in one move he pushes right inside of you.
It doesn't hurt– you're way too wet and open for that. It does feel like your stomach is being forced open, however. Like his cock is pressing against all of your internal organs. You arch up off of Seungmin's lap and he pulls you back to him quickly.
Chan groans, bottoming out inside you. His eyes are closed as he lets himself bask in the sensation, hips rocking shallowly. You're thankful that he doesn't move immediately, but even the barest amount of movement feels like too much, like you'll come apart at any second.
You barely feel it when Jisung slips your hand into his. It takes you a minute to realize it's because your brain has been reduced to nothing. Your body has melted into the bed, your muscles are lax, and there's an emptiness in your brain filled with nothing but static and Chan's name. You don't think about anything at all, can't form a single coherent thought. You don't feel the kisses on your throat or the way Seungmin's hands have taken residence on your stomach. The only thing you feel is the overwhelming pressure in your cunt as Chan slowly pulls out, leaving just the tip, before pushing all the way back in.
He builds a rhythm quickly. Seungmin is holding you tight to his body, as though he's scared you might float away, and you appreciate it because it gives you another sensation to focus on. Your head is lolled against his shoulder, eyes rolled back into your head so far all you see is white.
The sound of Chan fucking into you is absolutely obscene, a mixture of your juices and the remnants of the cum still leaking from your hole. He fucks you slow, but hard, snapping his hips into yours so hard it almost feels like you might get a bruise on your thigh.
Jisung is watching with hungry eyes from your side. He's not touching you at all anymore, too engrossed in the scene unfolding to do much else other than stare with his jaw slacked. Seungmin takes over for him.
"That's it," he breathes. "That's it angel, look at you." He moves the hand on your stomach and lets his thumb rub circles on your clit. You feel like you're going to pass out. You don't get time to beg him to stop before you feel that same hand move to your mouth, and two fingers push past your lips.
"Here, sweetheart," he breathes, eyes fixed on your lips as you suck his fingers. "That's you on my fingers, baby. Isn't it good?"
You moan around his hand, head spinning both at the taste of yourself and the intrusion of Seungmin's fingers in your mouth. He's not fucking them into you with any kind of rhythm, just shoving them in there until you're dribbling around his hand. He hums happily when he pushes in more and makes you gag, kissing away the tears the spill over.
Chan grunts, head falling back. "Min, again, please, she just– fuck, she–"
Seungmin doesn't need to be told twice. He repeats the motion again, making sure his fingers go far enough so you're choking around him. This time, when you splutter and gag, you can feel it when you clench down on Chan and his cock pulses in response.
"Oh my God," he moans, thrusting into you again. "Oh my god, baby, you're so good. You're doing so fucking good–"
Between the movement of his hips and the feeling of Seungmin's fingers down your throat, you're not quite sure you're still on this plane of existence. Everything is spinning around you, your cunt is throbbing, you can hear Jisung moaning somewhere, but you don't know from what.
You can feel Seungmin's lips pressed against your forehead as his fingers fuck your mouth, your eyes rolling back into your head again. You're so lightheaded, so far gone, you can barely remember your name. 
It's when Chan starts to thrust faster that you come back to your body with a jolt, mind filling with white hot heat. The pleasure has long since lost it's edge, and you're a moaning, writhing, teary mess again. The coil in your stomach starts to build for the seventh time, and you're pretty sure your brain has gone empty. The only thing you're able to focus on is Chan. Chan, Chan, Chan.
"Almost done, angel." You register a kiss pressed to the corner of your mouth, and then another on your forehead. You think the voice belongs to Seungmin. Maybe, if the way he eases his hand out of your mouth is any indication.
Nothing is making sense anymore. It all feels like you're having an out-of-body experience.
Chan's hips falter, and his hand slides up to your throat again, but he doesn't squeeze. Just rests it there as his orgasm approaches, hips snapping against you at an erratic rhythm.
"Sweetheart." His eyes flutter open with strained effort, but they remain locked on yours. "Can you give us one more, princess? Hm? Can I get you to cum on me too, please?"
There's a desperation in his voice that makes your body feel hot. You want to tell him yes, that you're close, so so close, but all that comes out is a weak noise that you're not even certain you made. 
Seungmin seems to get it though, because he slips his fingers down between your legs, finding your clit again. He rolls it between his fingers with one hand while his other reaches up and settles on your jaw. You feel Jisung's tongue flick over your nipple and your world draws to a pinpoint.
Chan curses above you, fucking into you at an almost punishing pace. "Yes, baby, let go for us. That's it. We got you."
It feels like someone's stuck a vacuum in your brain with the incoherent way you're thinking. The sound of his voice saying your name in that desperate tone is all it takes, and suddenly you're floating out of your body, ears ringing as the pressure inside you bursts. Your eyes roll back and the clinging remnants of an orgasm wash through your body. It feels more like an aftershock. You're only vaguely aware of the way Chan moans, loud and throaty, when he finally spills into you.
It takes a couple minutes before the two of you come back down to earth. You can't move, and even though you know Seungmin is holding you tight, it feels like you might drift right off the mattress and float up into the clouds.
Chan pulls out slowly, and you shudder when you feel a trickle of his cum leaking from your hole. It's not long before your eyes droop shut from pure exhaustion. You think you might pass out right on the spot.
The room gets kicked into gear pretty quickly after that. From what you can tell in the hazy state you're in, someone grabs a wet cloth to wipe you down with while someone else finds you a new t-shirt (and panties this time). They dress you like you're a doll, maneuvering your limbs and telling you you're good, you're so good, they love you so much.
Then you're scooped up into a pair of arms while the distant sounds of sheets being pulled off the bed floats up to you. They take you out of the room.
"You did so good for us, baby." The owner of the arms whispers against your ear. From the cadence in their tone you're pretty sure it's Jisung. "You were such a good girl for us, sweetheart. We're so proud of you."
You think you nod against him, but you can't be sure. You hear him kick a door open, and then he sets you down on a bed and you register Seungmin and Chan coming in.
"Okay," Jisung murmurs, going through his aftercare list out loud. "Fresh bed, fresh clothes, we got her some water."
You feel the bed dip behind you. "We got it, but she's gotta drink it, though," Chan chimes. There's fondness in his voice as he scoots closer to you. "Come here, baby."
You let yourself go limp, and a content smile plasters on your face as your boys fuss over you and make sure you're comfortable. They're so gentle, despite what just transpired, and they all take turns pressing kisses against your head, your cheeks, your nose.
When you've all settled into the bed, you feel three pairs of arms around you, holding you close, and you feel insanely lucky for all of it. You snuggle deeper into someone's chest, humming absentmindedly in that dreamy, fucked-out headspace.
"Thank you," you mumble, pressing a kiss to whoever you're snuggled against. You think it's Jisung from the way they nuzzle into your cheek.
"Of course, princess," Chan replies, his voice vibrating against your back. You feel his lips press against your temple, and you smile again. "You're our good girl, even when you're a brat. We'll always take care of you.”
You don't bother replying, simply allowing yourself to sink back into that fuzzy state. You're about to slip out of consciousness when you feel Jisung's nose against your cheek.
"You really do need to be bratty more often, though."
You hear a dull thump as Seungmin smacks the back of his head, and you let their hushed bickering be the lullaby you need to lull you into sleep.
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stayevildarling · 1 day ago
Text
Agatha Harkness x Reader- Secrets of Want
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A/N: couldn‘t help myself when I saw Kathryn looking like an absolute queen at the golden globesđŸ€
Prompt: While Agatha is out one afternoon, you go to her basement and look at her magical items. Turns out there is one that intrigues you more than either of you would have expected.
tw/tags: nsfw, established relationship, female reader, soft top Agatha, kinda inexperienced shy reader, mommy kink, choking kink, enchanted strap, hair pulling, breeding, slight manipulation
word count: 3.8k
taglist:
@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 , @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay, @laavaagirl
The afternoon sun illuminates your shared apartment with golden and red tones as you make your way through each room. Your girlfriend had left for some errands a little while ago and you tried everything to distract yourself, making sure to clean up and tidy, do the laundry and prepare dinner for tonight but you couldn‘t help the growing boredom, making you wish you would have accompanied Aggie now. As you pass through the hallway, the door to your girlfriends basement is slightly ajar and curiosity gets the better of you as you peak your head inside, seeing some faint lights and making your way down, assuming the brunette wasn‘t going to be home for another few hours.
This hadn‘t been the first time you are in her basement, her safe space where she works on her magic regularly. She had shown you everything once before, always wanting to include you as you had always been curious about her powers. You see some crystals on the table, countless plants and little vials with what you assume to be potions. Your fingers ghost over her bookshelfs, remembering she had told you not to touch those before as some are filled with dangerous magic. As you walk further down her workbench, your eyes linger on a drawer slightly ajar and something gets the better of you as you peak inside.
Your heart stops in your throat as you see the item, looking very much like a strap on, dark purple and several notes underneath it, incarnations by the looks of it. Your cheeks begin glowing red as your mind trails off, wondering why she would have this, what use it could be in combination with her magic. The two of you had taken things slow since you both started dating. Of course you had been intimate with each other but due to your shyness and the slight inexperience, you both kept things slow and gentle, never having talked about toys before or how to use them.
When you hear a faint noise upstairs, you slam it shut, sprinting upstairs before keeping the door exactly like it had been. You are just in time for the front door to unlock, Aggie stepping inside with several bags and kicking her shoes off before closing the door. With a smile you offer to take her bags as she smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead. „Hi sweet girl, what have you been up to?“ she asks as you unpack the grocery bags with shaking hands, trying to hide your nerves about the discovery you had made. „Not much“ you mumble before she chuckles „Liar“ which causes your eyes to widen as you glance at her. „Look at the place, everything is so clean“ she praises which causes you to sigh in relief inaudibly.
The two of you begin unpacking together, filling the fridge with the things she had bought as well as stocking up some bathroom shelves. Your girlfriend‘s hands linger on you whenever you brush past her and you can‘t help but tense, the discovery still vivid in your mind. By the time you prepare dinner the brunette disappeared to her basment for a while, checking on some of her potions before returning quietly, sneaking her arms around you as she hugs you from behind. You jump, flinching at the sudden sensation, almost dropping the spoon you are using to stir the food. Her eyebrows furrow at your reaction before she whispers „Sorry baby, didn‘t mean to startle you“. You remain quiet before forcing a chuckle „It‘s okay Aggie“‘you reassure.
By the time the two of you are having dinner together, her eyes burn holes into you as your gaze is fixed on your plate, mind continuously trailing off, wondering why Agatha had the strap in her basement, whether she had been wanting to do it or whether she has used it in the past before, suddenly growing extremely insecure. And your girlfriend can tell, knowing you are often quiet and in your own little world but something wasn‘t right since she returned home and she could tell. Her eyebrows furrow in concern as she reaches for your hand, causing you to meet her eyes.
Her thumb brushes gently over your knuckles as her concerned gaze locks onto yours. „Sweetheart“ she begins softly, voice laced with worry. „What‘s going on? you‘ve been so quiet since I got home“. Her tone is warm, patient but is makes your chest tighten either way. You bite your lip, unsure how to respond, mind racing back to the discovery and guilt consuming you. „I“ you start but your voice betrays you as you look down unable to meet her eyes. „It‘s nothing Aggie, I‘m fine really“ you try but the brunette tilts her head slightly, brows knitting together. „That doesn‘t sound very convincing darling, talk to me“ she encourages as she moves her chair closer, her presence calming and yet making the anxiety in your chest grow.
You shake your head, pulling your hand back as your eyes sting with tears „I‘m sorry“ you whisper, voice barely above a whisper. „Sorry?“ Agatha questions, confusion flickering across her face as she reaches out again, fingers warm as they rest on your arm. „Whatever for my love?“ she asks. Your chest heaves with a shaky breath and as you finally look at her again, tears brim in your eyes. „I.. was bored earlier and went into your basement“ you admit, voice breaking slightly. „I didn‘t mean to snoop, the door was open and I was just curious but I shouldn‘t have looked I‘m sorry“. Agatha blinks the confusion away as her expression softens, understanding filling her features.
„Oh sweet girl“ she coos, voice filled with affection „Is that‘s whats been eating you up?“ she asks as you nod but bite your lip. „I saw
 I saw something in the drawer“ you admit, cheeks burning red with embarrassment. „I shouldn‘t have touched it. I know you told me not to mess with things but I couldn‘t help it“ you admit. Her lips curl into a knowing smile as her thumbs brush over your cheeks, seeing the tears threatening to spill over. „Hey hey, look at me“ she ushers „I‘m not mad at you sweetheart, I don‘t care that you went down there. Besides I‘ve never been good at keeping you away from things you are curious about“ she smiles, causing you to giggle.
There is silence for a moment before you speak again „But.. that thing I found.. why do you have it?“ you ask and her eyes widen for a brief moment before a mischievous smile tugs at her lips. „Ah.. the strap?“ she murmurs, causing your cheeks to glow red. „So you found that drawer, huh?“. You nod again, not daring to look at her right now as you didn‘t mean to invade her privacy, curious nevertheless. „That thing you found sweetheart? it‘s enchanted.. I‘ve been working on it for you, actually“ she admits, causing your eyes to meet hers again. „For me?“ you ask a bit dumfounded as she nods, her thumb brushing over your hand again.
She nods, her smile softening „I wanted to wait until you are ready to talk about something lile that. It‘s not just an ordinary toy, sweet girl. It‘s designed to connect us both in ways you can‘t begin to imagine- emotionally, physically and magically. But I didn‘t want to push you into anything until you are comfortable darling“ she explains calmly.
The tone of her voice and the honesty in her eyes makes your throat tighten. „I see, I‘m sorry for going through your things, I should have waited“ you admit, causing for her eyes to soften as she pulls you into her arms. „Don‘t worry about it sweet girl, I could never stay mad at you“ she chuckles as you hold onto her, snuggling in the crook of her neck, the familiar scent causing your heart to feel warm as she kisses your cheek. „I love you sweet girl“ she whispers before you smile „I love you too Aggie“. The two of you remain in the warmth of each other before she pulls away a little „Now how about we finish this delicious meal you made? Wouldn‘t want it going to waste“ she smiles which causes you to nod and turn your attention back on your food.
A few days pass and you can‘t help but think about her words, the dark purple item and how much you had been thinking about it. She intrigued you and you found yourself googling, doing some research as you hadn‘t experimented with toys before, not alone and not with Agatha. But there was something in the way she had been treating you since the beginning of your relationship, so patient, so kind despite her sarcastic and sometimes dark demenour that makes you feel even more drawn to her over the next few days. You had made up your mind that morning, seeing her so sleepy and adorable as she held you, preparing yourself with a long bath and choosing the appropriate lingerie. As the two of you sit together after dinner, watching some TV your eyes can‘t help but travel to your girlfriend, her rings, her shirt and the lilac collar.
„Aggie?“ you whisper which causes her attention to shift from the tv to you. „Yes sweet girl?“ she asks and you nudge closer before meeting her eyes. „Can I have a cuddle?“ you murmur which causes her to chuckle before she opens her arms for you. Instead though, you crawl onto her lap, facing her as you craddle her, the sudden motion causing her to look at you in surprise. Your eyes meet hers before you kiss her, soft, gentle and tentative as she melts into you. „Aggie I‘m ready“ you whisper into her ear which causes her surprised and confused eyes to meet your own. „Are you sure?“ she asks in surprise before you nod, a reassuring smile on your face. „Wait in bed for me sweet darling“ she coos before she kisses you one more time, fiercer this time before you walk away, letting her retrieve the item from her basement.
As you wait with anticipation, your breathing hitches as you undress yourself, having bought some new lingerie in her favorite colour, hoping it would please your girlfriend. Carefully you undress yourself, making sure not too make too much noise as you lay on the bed in the purple bra and panties. Aggie walks into the room moments later, strap and harness in her hand as her eyes trail to you, smirk raising on her lips as she closes the door. „Wow“ she murmurs as she approaches, seeing your abandoned clothes on the floor and her eyes trailing down your body. „When did you get these?“ she asks surprised and your shy gaze meets hers as you admit you had bought them when she was out the other day. „You look breathtaking babygirl“ she coos as she abandons the item on the floor, crawling on top of you as her face hovers above yours.
„Are you sure you are ready for this? I‘m happy to wait for as long as you need“ she offers but you nod, almost impatiently as you want nothing more to experience than what she had talked about. „Okay sweetie, it may hurt a little“ she admits and you nod, having read about that bit too. „Um Aggie?“ you whisper which causes her to look at you „Can you tell me how this works?“ you ask carefully as she nods. „So“ she begins as she captures your lips in a fierce kiss. „Whenever you are ready I‘m going to put this on my hips and then it‘s up to you what you wanna do. I can wear it for a bit“ she explains as her mouth travels to your chest, moving your bra aside as she captures your nipple in her mouth. „You can get on your knees and suck it“ she whispers as she lets go off it with a pop. „I can make you feel good baby“ she explains before carrying on „The enchanment lets me feel everything too.. so the experience is- very authentic“ she teases.
You listen to her words carefully, eyes locked onto hers as her mouth travels down your body, leaving hot kisses and gentle marks. Now usually Agatha wasn‘t this sweet and gentle with you, the two of you having experimented quiet a bit but considering this was your first time, considering how your hands trembled and breathing hitched but your eyes betraying how much you wanted this, she can‘t help herself. „Aggie please“ you whine as her hand travels to the waistband of your underwear, slowly pushing it aside as she collects your wetness on her fingers. „God sweetie you are soaked“ she gasps in surprise, never having felt you this wet before.
„I want it Aggie, I‘m ready“ you whisper as you close your eyes, feeling her fingers rubbing circles on your clit and teasing your entrance. She can‘t help but chuckle at your desperation, slowly leaving you with a kiss before she gets off the bed and puts the harness around her hips, making sure everything is in place and the enchantments ready for you. The sight takes your breath away, watching as she removes every single piece of clothing, leaving her butt naked with nothing other than the purple strap tugged neatly between her waist. Something within you takes over as you get off the bed, getting on your knees as your eyes meet hers, her pupils blown at your actions. With slow and gentle movements you wrap your hands around it, of course not being oblivious as to how this works. As soon as your hand touches her she leaves out a gasp, the feeling much better than she could have anticipated, sending shockwaves of pleasure through her body.
„Sweetie just like that“ she coos and before she can ask the question, you do what she told you earlier, opening your mouth as you suck the tip gently before taking some of her length into your mouth, sucking gently. Tears of bliss brim in her eyes as she sees you so obedient, on your knees for her sucking her off. „You‘re such a good girl“ she murmurs as her hands find your hair, slowly pushing you into her more as you supress the need to gag. Her taste is intoxicating and you tremble under the intensity of it all. Before too long, Agatha picks you up, putting you into her steady arms, causing you to gasp in surprise as she lowers you onto the bed. The older woman gets on her knees, capturing your lips into a more heated kiss as her tongue enters your mouth, tasting herself on you as she moans into you.
„Please Aggie“ you whimper again, body trembling with need for your girlfriend. „So desperate darling“ she teases before she sits up on her knees again, aligning herself careful with your entrance as she had pulled your panties off a while ago during your making out. Her eyes find yours, checking for any sign of hesitation but when she finds none, simply pure desperation and want, she leans down, her strap teasing your entrance as she whispers „If this gets too much you tell me. I don‘t care okay? you tell me. I just care about making you comfortable“ she says, her tone firm as she wants to make sure you understand her words. You nod before she stops you, her hands tugging under your chin „Words sweetie“ and you quickly mumble a „Yes I promise“ before she smiles.
The older woman doesn‘t waste anymore time, hands balancing on your knees as she gently pushes the tip in, causing your eyes to close and your hands to grip the sheets. Just like she said the sensation feels a little painful at first but with how slow she is fucking you, you quickly adjust before the pure bliss takes over. Your eyes rip open as you lock eyes with her, hands gripping the sheets to the point your knuckles turning white as gutteral moans escape you, ones that you can‘t even hold in. She takes note of course, adjusting her pace as she begins sinking into you deeper, her eyes closing, moaning herself as she stretches you so well, feeling your walls pulsing around her cock.
„Aggie“ you cry out, the sensation taking over you as you see the lilac smoke in the air from the spells, feeling the magic tickle across your body and spread into every fiber of your being. Your chest heaves with pleasure and as Agatha collapses onto you, still deep inside you, her hips moving the perfect rhythm, something takes over you. Hungry lips clashing against her own as you your tongues dance together, the two of you taken over by the pure bliss of it all as your hips move together, pushing your hips forward to meet her. The room is filled with sloppy noises from your soaking pussy meeting her cock. „Oh god“ you cry out, tears of bliss streaming down your cheeks as Agatha‘s fingers gently wipe them.
„Are you“ she begins but stops herself when a gutteral moan escapes her „Doing okay swee- sweet girl“ she moans out of breath as you nod, the witch able to see that words aren‘t going to manage to escape you right now. „Aggie I need more“ you whine, feeling the pure bliss take over. She leans back, pulling out of you for only a second before turning you on your back, face hitting the pillow as you lift your ass to meet her. She goes on her knees again, the new angle letting her hit into you even harder and she is beyond surprised at how well you are taking her, the shy side suddenly completely gone as this was so much more than vanilla.
Her pupils are blown as she feels your walls pulsing even more, your juices beginning to leak down her cock. With a last effort her free hand wraps around your throat, moving your head forward to capture your neck in a kiss. She takes your hair, pulling at it as she fucks you at a ruthless pace from behind. „Mommy“ you whimper, barely above a whisper as your entire body is on fire, feeling her magic flowing through you, the strap hitting you so perfectly and her moans only bringing you closer. „Aggie I‘m“ you can‘t even finish before she whispers „Cum for mommy“ leaving no room for arguments as your head pushes further back, her hand tightly pulling your hair as screams errupt in the bedroom. Her name flows from you so naturally and the last waves of magic flow through your body.
The orgasm feels like drugs to you, Agatha pulling out just in time and covering your ass in her cum, the two of you panting messes as the ability to breathe leaves you for a while. By the time she collapses next to you, she sees how tense you are, head completely red before she quickly wipes your sweat and tears „Breathe sweetie“ she instructs and as her hand finds it‘s way to your chest, you remember to do just that, ragged breathing leaving your mouth. „That was“ she begins but you interrupt her „Amazing“. She snuggles closer to you, holding you in her arms for a while as you both come down from this. By the time she begins fiddling with the harness your hands find hers, stopping her movements.
Her eyebrows raise in surprise as you shake your head a little, a questioning pout on your face „My sweet girl wants to go again?“ she teases, usually the two of you keeping things slow and gentle, never doing more than one or two gos when being intimate. She watches in awe as you balance on your knees, adjusting her strap as you climb onto her and the imagine of seeing you on top, watching as you allign her dick with your soaked pussy, climbing on top and beginning to ride her, she‘s in complete bliss and awe. Your tits bounce as your hands grip hers, tight as you enter her fully again, riding her so perfectly almost as if the strap had taken away your shyness and every ounce of holding back you had shown before.
„God baby- you‘re so damn hot“ she mumbles as she holds your hips in place, moving into you at the perfect pace and causing that familiar feeling back in your bodies. The two of you can feel everything together, the magic flowing through your veins, stomachs tightening as the familiar urge to burst returns. „Mommy“ you moan, eyes closed and there is something about how she is having you right now that makes your girlfriend love you even more, having waited to get this side out of you as she knew it was there somewhere. The two of you only manage to keep the pace for bare seconds before you are both close, moans and screams errupting in the bedroom as all you can hear is the sound of skin slapping and your combined wetness.
„Aggie?“ you whine, opening your eyes to meet hers „Yes sweetie?“ she struggles through her ragged breathing as you whisper „Can you cum inside me please?“. Her puplis blow even more, hands travelling up your chest and finding your throat as she gently squeezes. „Oh god“ she rolls her eyes back, unable to believe this. „Do you want mommy to fill you up my angel?“ she manages to coo and you nod frantically before she picks up the pace, pushing your hips up and down her cock and before you know it, your orgasms wash over you and you feel her hot cum inside you. Neither of you think about moving, eventually you collapsing onto her chest but staying inside as she captures your lips in a kiss.
„I love you Aggie“ you whisper as you both catch your breathing and her smile returns quickly, proud and loving as she moves the sweat covered hair from your forehead. „I love you so much sweet girl“ she coos before you find each other‘s lips again, the same hunger and desperation. And if one thing was for sure, neither of you wanted this to stop and as Aggie begins moving slowly again you almost feel like cumming again. And the two of you knew this was going to be a long night, the woman having left her door and the drawer ajar for a purpose of course and she couldn‘t be more prouder of you for tonight. And you couldn‘t get enough, the taste of her, the feel and filling you with her cum like an addiction, intoxicating you and driving you crazy, crazy for your Aggie.
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theannoyingurge · 24 hours ago
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Playing with the idea that none of the bg3 villains are fully honest with Durge. Everyone is hiding some piece of the puzzle and happy to abuse the amnesia situation to their advantage. 'Cept Kressa. She's psycho, but she's an honest psycho. In another life, we might have been friends.
Ketheric is the first, most obvious example of this. He doesn't even bother to inform the other Chosen you've reappeared. (Myrkul is the god of exhaustion, so this tracks.)
Balthazar also 100% recognizes you and also doesn't even bother. To him, your amnesia means no tedious reunions with annoying Bhaalspawn who are big mad that he stole their brother's name and rib bones.
The Emperor is sometimes overlooked when piecing together Durge's history, but he admits to knowing your past if you reject him in Act 3 (stating "I know everything about you" while threatening to turn you into a puppet like Duke Stelmane). Whether or not he's posturing, he should at least be aware of your past with Gortash, considering you helped kidnap him in the first place. For evidence, see Gortash's interrogation notes, which open with "When we captured you". (Sure, this could refer to Orin, but I simply do not see these two working as a highly functional team. More on this and the timeline below the cut.) Naturally, despite traveling together for months, The Emperor wouldn't want to fill any gaps in your memory that might cast doubt on his trustworthiness or help align you with his enemy.
The Absolute might be lying about respecting you/your plan and preferring you over your replacement. I am of two minds about this. If you were attacked immediately after crowning the brain, there should be no basis for a preferential relationship. In that case, the brain is just stroking your ego and need for approval. However, I have doubts about Durge being taken down during the initial raid.** I think some time must have passed after crowning the Absolute, giving it the chance to develop a working relationship with you that it lacked with the other Chosen, which caused everything to fall apart after you were tadpoled. This also buys us time to kidnap the Emperor and bring it under the Absolute's thrall as described in Gortash's interrogation notes.
**Some of Gortash's other notes claim Durge was lost during the first raid, but his journals are full of contradictions. He leaves the House of Hope out of his memoirs entirely. He seemingly retcons history to present himself in a more favorable light, which probably includes intentionally diminishing the work of his allies (or erasing the painful memory of his nearest and dearest). In any interpretation, the brain definitely hates Gortash the most, and that's good enough for me.
Orin and Gortash paint somewhat conflicting pictures of you pre-tadpole. The difference here might be genuine (the honest perspectives of a little sister vs a business partner or lover) or it could be a manipulative game of tug of war over your budding and impressionable self image.
Now, I like Durgetash - but I like every possible interpretation of these assholes, not just the mutually reciprocated and/or sexy ones. It's conceivable to me that Gortash may have discovered Durge's crush on him via the Prayer for Forgiveness and played up their history in Act 3 as a defensive measure. Maybe Gortash always knew of Durge's feelings and used them to his advantage (Orin outright tells you this, but again, nobody listens to Orin. Sorry sis).
It's also conceivable that he knew Durge was the first to be tadpoled, considering how close their pod was to his workbench. The brain was given orders to transform the party (that were resisted several times), so Gortash's surprise that Durge still lives makes sense, assuming he even knew Durge was with them (he doesn't seem to be checking the scrying eyes at all. What kind of loser tyrant ignores his own surveillance system? I digress). His general relief and preference for them over Orin is also still valid. (I imagine he feels something along the lines of Durge being the one who got away, you don't know what you've got until it's gone, etc etc. Cue hysterical bonding as the long lost love of his life waltzes into his coronation covered in blood to save him from their psychotic sister and the poorly housetrained Netherbrain they left him full custody of. Yes he wanted full custody, but still.)
Puppy eyes aside, Gortash is a blackhearted pragmatist (he will turn on Durge if they give him the stones) and progress is progress. The first True Soul was an incredible breakthrough, and the show must go on. So just imagine the bricks he's shitting in Act 3 if Durge comes back and remembers the Wrong Things from before the nautiloid. What if they want revenge on him? Nope, not good at all. Best to position himself as Durge's only friend and most trustworthy partner. Regardless of how well he treated them before, Durge was willing to piss off Bhaal to spare his life. That's an extremely useful vulnerability right now, because he's about to ask them to do it again!
Lastly, I have no proof, but I strongly suspect that Sceleritas is fibbing about Durge's past as well. Partly because the Slayer form is severely disappointing in-game and canonically excrutiatingly painful, despite Fel claiming you've always wanted it. It honestly sounds like a way to sell an unwanted used car back to it's amnesiac owner who failed to appreciate it before. Bhaal isn't a full deity any longer, so take what you're given (and you'd better damned well like it!) I also call bullshit on tossing a coin to a beggar being the "worst" crime Durge ever committed against Bhaal (*ahem* looking at you, Gortash). Some dialogue with the Oathbreaker Paladin suggests we've tried somewhat consistently to be good in the past, and Sceleritas has a vested interest in making Durge worse, not planting noble ideas in their freshly lobotomized murder-happy brain.
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qoldenskies · 3 days ago
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i have like. such mixed feelings on the medic leo headcanon, coming from someone that has used it in pretty much all of his work so far. me and the medic leo headcanon are in an off-and-on relationship and every time i think we're done for good its outside my door with a boombox in the pouring rain and i feel like i hate myself a little when i take it back. it fucks like a champ though which makes it KIND OF worth it
cause like. i really think its an implementation thing that frustrates me more than anything else. to give leo a special THING feels like it disregards such a core facet of his character, that being that he doesn't have one and he feels like the others do. "face man" feels like overcompensating. initially, "leader" feels like too much, and it feels like something he TOOK from raph. there's really an implication that he feels like his brothers are SOMETHING without him, but he's NOTHING without them, and he directly states the second part. (so he overcompensates and acts like they do need him)
i think to make this an early-in-his-life practice kind of throws that out the window. leo taking this up when he's young doesnt fit him, i dont think, especially because i see him as a very.... high wisdom low intelligence kind of character. good street smarts terrible book smarts, and that's kind of apparent by him being so clever and intuitive while also taking stupid dares and making actively reckless decisions to look cool lmao. he would swallow a whole bottle of shampoo because mikey told him to and then be confused why he's in the medbay and raph is yelling at him like ten minutes later
HOWEVER. i think it is a very good way to explore some of the nuances of him that actually MAKE him a good leader, once he steps into that role. leo is a people person. he knows his family, he pays attention to them, he knows how to manipulate them and it would make him a diligent eye in the field. things dont get past him and it makes it hard to hide when theyre in pain from him. he's the most likely to be like "cool, i dont give a fuck" when they try to dismiss injuries. he'll happily make it an argument if he has to; he'd be as stubborn as a mule when it comes to their well-being, and he's more calculative than he looks, which means raph and donnie's usual tactics of dismissal and deflection hit a wall when he puts his foot down on something.
so really i just go out of my way to not make it something EXCLUSIVE to him when its included (and i always go out of my way to make it recent, because why would they have a designated medic who they already know to go to when the concept of crime-fighting was NEVER something they thought would really happen?). it makes the most sense to be something that STARTED with donnie, considering he refers to resuscitating piebald as "my science"; medicine is included in the field of what he enjoys and invests in. donnie is a jack of all trades in anything he can get his grubby little hands on, but ive always seen him as squeamish, which gives a good reason for leo to get involved.
but i think leo would always underestimate his capability despite lots of hands-on experience, even though hands-on is literally how he learns instead of reading books and studying like donnie does. no matter how diligent and practiced he is in the field, he's still not exclusive in it, and it doesnt feel like something that IS a big thing to him. so he can do a few stitches, big deal. donnie and splinter can already do that! who cares? raph and mikey probably could too if they actually paid attention to any of donnie's yap-sessions. no matter how much he boasts about how much they need their cool brother to patch them up, he doesn't believe it, even as he gets better and better and better.
it also gives him the opportunity to really come to face how meaningful it actually is, and to be appreciated for that, especially if donnie is out of commission and he actually gets to utilize that strength. doomed timeline angst potential right there.
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fatliberation · 6 hours ago
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Sorry for leaving this in your inbox, but I need to vent and ask for advice in a place where people won't mock me. What do you do when sex is super difficult because of your fat? I've recently gotten into my first relationship and. I thought I had a handle on my internalized fatphobia and self hate but this has made it worse than ever. We can't have satisfying penetrative sex (we've tried all the tips and workarounds. Nothing works. I'm larger than most of the FA community.), and recieving oral sex is also difficult for me. I also get tired and sweaty extremely quickly if I have to like hold up myself on mostly my arms or something, so he has to do most of the work. So sex is just. Mostly the one that works on repeat, and we don't have it very often because it isn't that fun for either of us, and it also makes me cry afterwards sometimes because of how disappointing it is & me beating myself up over it.
I'm genuinely worried my boyfriend is going to leave me for this. He's clearly very frustrated with the situation, even though he tries to be nice about it most of the time. Earlier today I tried to like be flirty and hint at stuff and he just. got a bit sad. and then said that clearly neither of us enjoy the sex we're having and that he has a lot of trouble staying hard.and that he doesn't see the point when we're both forcing it for no reason. I think he's going to break up with me soon. His ex is way lighter than me, so he's probably comparing the normal sex he had with her with whatever the fuck this abnormal shitshow is :/
All the work I've done on myself to be happy with being fat (including working up the courage to date, what a mistake that was lmao) is all gone. This has ruined my self-esteem so much. I feel like one of those fatphobic jokes but a person.
first and foremost, please try your best to remember this: your body is not the problem. one more time. your body is not the problem. I'm so very sorry you're concerned that your boyfriend would leave you over this. it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived ideas about how sex is supposed to go. I promise you that it doesn't have to be this way. if this is something that could really end the relationship, know that this person is not compatible or open to exploring your needs, rather than your needs being "too difficult." I promise it's him, not you. I know folks who are 600+ pounds who have excellent sex lives and partners who satisfy them and enjoy satisfying them. when someone starts treating your pleasure like a chore, that's just shitty. I know how much it hurts. it also does damage to your own openness to pleasure. when you're caught up in feeling like sex/your body is something that needs to be "fixed," nothing is going to feel sexy, because all that pressure puts stress on and takes you out of the mental state where you're able to experience pleasure. does that make sense? so many couples get stuck in this cycle.
there are so many ways to engage in pleasure without penetration or orgasm. there's a lot that goes into foreplay, setting a mood, making your partner feel appreciated and attractive. words and touch play a huge part in this. something as simple as exploring each other's bodies, not with the intention of reaching climax, but simply to be vulnerable and engage each others' senses. have your partner give you a massage. play with your hair. tickle your back with a feather. shower together. kiss you. compliment you. if either of you are into any kinks or dirty talk, that could be a great way to engage each other sexually without the pressure of "achieving" a goal. the goal here is just to feel good, close, and connected. societal messaging about sex has placed so much importance on orgasm instead of pleasure - when taking the time and space to relax and receive attention, is key.
feel free to check out my other posts on fat sex ed, there's lots of assistive toys that can make pleasure more accessible, but I think that should be a tool for later, since the biggest issue here is the pressure to perform. know that pleasurable sex can exist for you! but for now, I would recommend taking a break from sex altogether since it is not pleasurable for you right now. because pleasure is the whole point. forcing it is only going to feel worse. you do not owe it to your boyfriend, especially if it doesn't feel good and is taking an emotional toll. I hope you both are able to take a step back, reassess and communicate, and are able to reconnect and create a safe space to explore.
I understand why you're beating yourself up over this, I've been there too. but also know that it's just another societal standard that's been internalized (and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is helping). like you said, you've done a lot to unlearn fatphobia. there's a lot of internalized beliefs we absorb from society surrounding sex, just like body image. I promise that there is nothing wrong with you. If your boyfriend takes his frustration out on you instead of making you feel safe to express your needs, then he's not a supportive partner. you deserve someone who takes delight in your pleasure and your body. believe me, we're out there.
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nagaytoe · 2 days ago
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Tres Ictus
(Latin) [noun] Three strikes
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Solivan Brugmansia X Reader
Word count: 3.3k
Requests: Open
TWs/Tags: Violence, drugging, abduction, established relationship, betrayal
Note: This was inspired by some of fantasias answers from her askbox!
(Next post will probably be some Crowe angst teehee)
Solivan Brugmansia was the picture-perfect boyfriend.
He was loving, protective, and reassuring, you could always bask in the warmth of him and his words.
“I love you, Pumpkin. More than words could ever describe.” He smiled down at you, his big, strong arms wrapped securely around your waist. You couldn’t help but smile back as he gazed at you so lovingly. “I love you too, Sol.”
The two of you laid on your bed, limbs entangled, and it seemed as though you couldn’t be pried away from one another by any force on this earthly plane. He radiated a comfortable warmth on many levels; physically, emotionally, and in his gaze as well. Whenever Sol looked at you, you suddenly felt like you were the only person in existence alongside him, like you were the most precious being he ever had the fortune of laying eyes upon. You loved cuddling sessions like these, sometimes they felt far more intimate than anything else, sex included.
Sol tilted his head downwards a little, pressing a kiss to your forehead and tightening his grip on you further. “I don’t think you understand how much you mean to me
 I’d do anything to ensure your happiness, Pumpkin. If I could, I would spend all my days by your side, though in my mind you never leave anyways.” His smile was radiant and made him seem like the happiest person to have ever walked earth. You could feel the love he radiated, almost as if he was transferring his very heart from his chest to yours by the simple gesture of lying this close.
“I can’t seem to stop thinking about you, your smile that never fails to brighten up my day, your contagious laugh, your gorgeous eyes
You’re the most perfect person I ever met, no other living being can compare
”
Your heart swelled at your boyfriend's words. Just how did you get so lucky? You knew some people who would kill for a boyfriend like Sol. Someone compassionate, who never leaves your side no matter how hard times may get. Someone invested in you, who surprises you with little gifts all the time. Someone who does little day-to-day things for you, even though you are perfectly capable of doing them yourself. Someone whose words always affirm you. Someone who protects you from harm, no matter what. Someone who doesn’t just love your outer shell but everything underneath as well. Someone who knows you in a way like no one else knew you before. Someone who still views you as perfect, despite all your flaws, because you are the most perfect partner for them nevertheless. All these traits made up your lovely boyfriend, Solivan Brugmansia. There was no way he was actually this perfect, was there? Usually, there was always a catch to everything seemingly perfect, though perhaps you were lucky enough to get the jackpot.
“Sol
” , you whispered, your cheeks flushing red as you hid your face in his chest. No matter how many times he told you all these sweet nothings, you would never get used to it. Probably because it didn’t feel like nothings, it felt like he carved those words out from the depths of his heart, for your ears to hear only, “You are far too sweet to me
 I am so very lucky to have you with me, I can’t even begin to put it into words.”
“There is no need for that, Pumpkin, I can feel how much you love me.” Sol bowed his head down once more and pressed a sweet kiss to the crown of your hair, which conveyed everything words failed to. A warm feeling flooded your chest, and your heart felt as though it might break out of your chest, past your ribs, any moment now.
“Please do promise me this however,” you could feel Sol’s chest vibrate a little as he spoke, his grip tightening once more, as if afraid you might slip away any second were he not careful enough.
“Never leave me. Please, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if you ever left me.”
You glanced up at him, a sorrowful gleam in your eyes, being well aware of his fear of abandonment. Craning your head further up and pressing a soft kiss to his jaw, you assure him, “I won’t leave you, Sol. Not ever. How could I? I love you far too much.”
Sol was an amazing partner – most of the time.
He tended to lovebomb and was a bit overprotective, but that’s alright, he just cared a lot about you, right?
Crowe awkwardly excused himself, uncharacteristically for him, before walking back into the building of Olympeius University. Your gaze flicked up to Sol, who wrapped his arm around your waist a little too tightly the second Crowe approached the two of you in the school garden. The two of you had been standing in the garden under the shade of a tree and studying the flowers present, when Crowe had interrupted your fleeting moment of peace. You didn’t mind, having not talked to him for quite some time, though Sol felt different about this predicament. If looks could kill, your dear friend would probably already be six feet under with the way Sol was glaring daggers into his back. Nudging his side, he quickly averted his attention back to you, gaze immediately softening. “Is everything alright?”
Sol hesitated before answering, glancing back into the direction of the doors that led back into the building and were just falling shut again. “Why would it not be, Pumpkin?”
You studied his face for any sign of anger, but you could hardly read any emotions off of the stone-cold mask he put on whenever he was asked such question. “You were staring at Crowe like he had the plague.”
Your boyfriend’s gaze immediately darkened, and he muttered something under his breath which you failed to catch as he averted his gaze once more. “He is the plague
”
“I didn’t quite catch that-”
“Don’t worry about it, Pumpkin.”
You couldn’t help but frown at his words and decided not to back down for once; you needed to find out what his problem with Crowe was, “Sol, why do you dislike Crowe this much? I’ve noticed before but never thought much of it, but I would like to know, especially since he is one of my closest friends.”
Sol sighed, closing his eyes for a brief moment while gathering his thoughts.
“I just
 I can’t shake the feeling that he likes you more than a friend should
”, His voice was dripping in venom as he admitted his feelings through gritted teeth.
Taken aback slightly, you had to take a moment to process your boyfriend's words.
“Are you implying that Crowe has a crush on me?” Sol nodded in response, the action almost seeming a bit too forceful as he averted his gaze.
“So what if he does, Sol?” His gaze snapped back to you the moment those words left your mouth, shock and anger brewing in his piercing red gaze.
“I’m with you, Sol. For a reason as well, might I add. If Crowe truly has a crush on me like you think, then I feel sorry for him; I really do, because I only love one guy, and that is not him. It’s you.” His stare softened in an instant.
“I’m sorry, Pumpkin, I just can’t help it
 I love you way too much, and the thought of someone else stealing you from me feels like a dagger to my heart. I’m worried that you might find someone more worthy of your time
”
You shook your head at his words, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I can’t think of anyone who could ever be more worthy of my time than you, Sol. There’s no need for you to worry, alright?” Wrapping your arms around his form, you pulled him into a hug. He quickly returned the gesture, burying his face in your neck and muttering that he loves you, asking you to never abandon him. He was really overbearing at times, but there was no reason to further worry about it, was there?
Perhaps Sol wasn't that good of a boyfriend after all.
He was obsessive, jealous and possessive, so much so that sometimes it scared you.
“What the fuck was that about, Sol?”
You were enraged. Just about half an hour ago, Sol and you had been about to head back to his apartment after date night, the initial plan being that you’d sleep over at his place. You had dropped off your things at his place before going out since you didn’t want to have to carry them with you while going out.
In light of Sol having to use the restroom, you had waited outside of the building, wanting to get some fresh air and stargaze a bit. You had leaned against the cold brick wall of the building, looking up at the sky, which had been blanketed in pitch-black with specks of white scattered all over in seemingly random patterns. As you had studied the constellations in the sky, a middle-aged man had come up to you, asking for directions, and naturally, you helped him out. Unfortunately for both the man and you however, Sol had mistaken the scene for the stranger making a move on you. The moment Sol had stepped outside, he strutted up to the two of you, slithering his arm around your waist and forcefully pulling you closer to him as he snapped at the man about what his deal was.
You didn’t bother to hang up your jacket and take off your boots as Sol closed the apartment door. Unbeknownst to you, he locked the door and pocketed the key.
“That man was clearly trying to hit on you, did you not see his smug smirk?”
You walked towards his bedroom where your backpack was located, snapping back at him, “He asked me for directions!”
“Don’t you know how often that is used as an excuse to ask someone for their number?”
You scoffed, unable to believe how he was acting right now, “You’re overthinking this.”
“I am simply worried! That guy could’ve started molesting you, just like those guys back at the arcade a few months ago!”
As you were re-entering the hallway, you stilled in your movements to look at him in disbelief, your backpack slung over your shoulder. “Not every person out there is a criminal.”
“How do you know whether or not they are? One can never be too sure, you are simply way too trusting!” Sol argued and he wasn’t completely wrong. You were a trusting person, sometimes a bit too much for your own good, however, he was being unreasonable right in this moment.
“I’m not too trusting, you’re just too overbearing!”
“Overbearing?”, he repeated far too calmly, “How am I too overbearing if I end up being the one to get you out of trouble every time? It’s not that I am complaining, I would never not help you, but I would prefer if you stopped getting into those types of situations in the first place.”
The two of you barely ever argued. Sol was the perfect partner, at least he used to be. Just what was going on lately? The other day he grew irritated because you wanted to spend some time with your friends, something you hadn’t done in a long time, a while before that he punched a guy in the face for hitting on you.
This was your third strike, you can't keep on letting him get away with this type of stuff, he had to learn to accept your boundaries.
“Sol, I believe it might be better if we take a little break, at least until you learn to respect my boundaries.” It hurt to say it, but you couldn’t keep doing this, it was taking a toll on your mental health by now; Always worrying about whether your boyfriend might snap if you talk to the wrong person, then again, everyone who wasn’t Hyugo or him was the wrong person.
He stared at you in disbelief, his mouth slightly agape but no sound coming out until a few beats later, “What?”
“I can’t do this, it’s just
 too much. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to have to keep stressing about who I can talk to and who I can’t talk to without you getting mad.”
“Pumpkin, Darling, I’m not mad when you talk to others,” Sol was clearly stressed out, almost a bit panicked, dread reflected in his eyes as they were locked on your every movement. “I just care about your well-being, is that so wrong?”
You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose with one hand, resting the other upon your hip. “There’s a difference between caring about someone and being controlling.”
“I’m not controlling, [__]. If I were controlling, I wouldn’t allow you to talk to anyone, go through your phone, tell you what to wear, but do I do any of those things? No, I don’t and why is that?” He stepped a bit closer with every instance he listed, looking at you expectantly, before answering his own question, “Because I am not controlling.”
“Sol, please don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”
He swallowed, his left eye twitching ever so slightly, as he took a deep breath. “You’re really going to break up with me over that?”
“I’m not breaking up with you, I said I need a break, some distance, not that I want to end things between us.”
“If you need distance, then I can sleep on the couch. You need a break? Take a warm bath, I’ll get it ready for you, but you won’t be breaking up with me, Pumpkin.”
You could feel yourself growing more and more agitated, why did he fail to understand the problem?
“You don’t get to decide over that.” Walking towards the door, which he was still standing in front of, you were about to make your way outside.
“A relationship consists of two people, I get as much of a say in this as you do.”
You stared at him, biting the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from lashing out at him.
“If you learn to respect my boundaries then I have no problem in continuing things as they were, but right now I simply can’t.”
Sol turned to face you, placing his right hand on the front door, effectively blocking it.
“I can work on myself, I can start memorizing all your boundaries right now, you don’t need to break up with me for that.”
You sighed deeply, closing your eyes as you did before meeting Sol’s stare again. “Please get away from the door, I want to get home while the street lanterns are still on.”
“Just stay here for the night, it’s far too dangerous to walk around outside all on your own anyways. I’ll sleep on the couch if that’s what you prefer.”
That’s it, you couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Sol, if you don’t let me leave right now, this will turn into an actual breakup.”
He froze for a moment, eyes wide as they scanned your agitated expression. Sighing, he finally stepped away from the door, walking off into another room. You reached for the doorknob, however much to your dismay, it wouldn’t budge.
“Did you lock the door?” You called out to Sol, while still trying to open the door. In your desperation, you failed to notice Sol walking up behind you, a small pill in his hand. “This isn’t funny, Sol. Open the doo-”
You were cut off by his fingers entering your mouth, causing you to gag a little. Reaching up to grab his wrist, you tried to pry away his arm, but he was far stronger than you. Panic spread throughout your body as Sol wrapped his arm around you from behind, a gesture which was once a source of comfort was now reason for terror. His right hand was still in your mouth, the other securing you in place and grabbing your jaw. Sol dropped something small on your tongue, quickly shutting your jaw with his left hand as soon as his fingers left your mouth and squeezing your nose. He wrapped his now unoccupied right hand around your shoulder as he shut off any oxygen source with his left. You struggled against him, refusing to swallow whatever he just put in your mouth.
“Please stop struggling and swallow it, [__].” His voice was ice cold, causing a shiver to run down your spine. Tears pricked in the corners of your eyes as you swallowed reluctantly.
His grip loosened a little, becoming less bruising as you greedily inhaled as much air as your lungs let you, before coughing violently.
“What the fuck was that?”
“Something to help you calm down.” He was still eerily calm. Then again, no, he wasn’t really. He only put on a calm facade; you could feel anger boiling up deep down inside of him and gushing out of every pore.
Sol led you towards the bedroom, but not without you putting up a fight. However, no matter how much you thrashed in his grasp, it was no use, he overpowered you in every way. A trait of his which you once found attractive was now the thing you dreaded most about him.
It didn’t take long for the drug to enter your system, as you could feel yourself growing dizzy and your vision fogging up.
Your boyfriend sat you down on the bed, and you could barely fight back anymore. Your limbs were growing weaker by the minute, your vision slowly fading to black.
Sol gently pushed you down and brushed your hair out of your face, the gesture way too loving, considering the situation. You muttered words incoherent to his ears as he gazed upon your nearly unconscious figure.
This couldn’t be happening, this couldn’t be your boyfriend, could it be? Was everything he told you, everything he showed you nothing but lies? Did he really manage to trick you like this, trick you into believing he was a good person, a loving partner?
He laid down next to you, pulling you into his arms and entangling his limbs with yours. You wished you could pry yourself free from his grasp, run as far away from him as humanly possible but alas, such luxury will not be granted to you.
“Don’t worry, Pumpkin, I’ll take care of you. Rest well
”
Sol bent his head down to press a soft kiss to your forehead, like he did everytime when the two of you cuddled or before you went to sleep. It made you sick to your stomach, it hurt you and tugged at your heart, ripping it out of your chest. All these loving gestures, you didn’t want them, you wanted to be at home, you wanted your old Sol back, just like how he was at the beginning of your relationship. You briefly wished you wouldn’t have gotten with him, hadn’t told him you loved him, hadn’t met him in the first place.
Perhaps you were just as much at fault as he was, you should have noticed the warning signs earlier, for in hindsight they were so very obvious, or maybe you shouldn’t have pushed him like that. This was his third strike and he wouldn't let you leave him, especially not after you promised not to.
After all, it’s what you agreed upon the moment you told him you loved him, didn’t you?
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dottowos · 20 hours ago
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subire me.
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synopsis: It’s your birthday, and your only wish is to have Webttore underneath you. Being the good lover he is, he agrees to your shenanigans just this once (not).
includes: dottore (webttore) w/ fem! reader
notes: Webttore is referred to as Beta. Established relationship, oral (Webby receiving), vaginal sex, creampie, you ride him, dom reader, subby Webby, reader uses no pronouns, MDNI. Gift for my dear bestie <3
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You never considered yourself a greedy person. You were always content and grateful for what you had, rarely ever wanting to take more by using force. That however applies to everything besides Il Dottore.
To be fair, it wasn’t like the attitude was unreciprocated. In fact, the man’s way of thinking was what rubbed off on you. If he desired you wholly, why would you feel any different? You were too lovely for him not to take for his own. He was too captivating for you to let go of. If he wanted to see your beautiful side, you should see his too. If he accepted your ugly side, you would take care of his own too. 
If he wanted to wring orgasm after orgasm out of you while you begged for him to slow down, it was only fair that the same should be done to him - which was the reason Beta was now currently underneath you huffing with a grumpy expression.
“Aww, come on love. You agreed to this, did you not?” You chuckled at his defiance, never wanting to be the one submitting to another.
“Only because you were adamant about pestering me the whole time,” he scowled, crossing his arms at your more than pleased expression. You rolled your eyes in amusement, beginning to unbutton your top which quickly got Beta’s attention back on you again.
“You act as if I’m sentencing you to death
” you laughed as your breasts spilled out, and Beta dug his nails deeper into his arm to resist his urges, “You trust me, right? So just let me take care of you
 as you do for me,” you hummed, pulling off your bottoms and leaving you in nothing but your underwear.
“An odd request for the one whose birthday it is,” Beta continued to grumble, though his tone lowered at the sight of your bare body. 
“What can I say? You always knew that I’m a little weird,” you smiled as you crawled back and hovered over him, nudging your knee between his leg to which he gritted his teeth, “But let’s focus on you, yeah?” With that, you cupped his cheek and kissed him in an attempt to get him to lighten up, and of course, it worked after a few seconds, his body slackening to your sweetness. You sighed against his lip, working on removing his vest and bowtie while he moved to your whim.
It did feel quite odd not to have his hands roaming about your body, but you think it was more tortuous for him than you judging from the growing hardness near your leg. Well, the whole situation was a bit odd in general, usually Beta would be babbling on about anything and everything - how exquisite you looked taking him, what he’s done to you, what he will do to you
 all with sharp teeth on display and a maniac grin. Now, however, he was strangely quiet, teeth grazing his lip with an unreadable expression, but definitely red ears.
"See how badly you want this? I know you could easily stop me if you wanted to, love, I haven't even tied you up this time. But here you are being so good and needy for me..." you sighed as your finger traced along his neck, your other hand placed firmly on his chest.
So cute. Good thing the segments were more organic rather than mechanical. Otherwise, you’d probably have made them short-circuit by now. You eagerly moved on to finally tugging his shirt off, exposing his chest. Ah, you had told yourself you’d have patience, but how could you when the scholar was laid out for you so pliantly like a sweet treat for the taking? You just really wanted him crying for you already.
“So what? Is this what you wanted all along?” The segment sneered, an attempt to fluster you and grasp some semblance of control back. But you only smiled.
“And what if it is? Trying to goad me before I even start isn’t the best idea, Beta.”
“You could see me like this whenever you wanted,” he scoffed.
“Not underneath me,” you clarified, watching with delight as his dismay further increased as you drove home the reality of the situation. “Now, do try to relax a bit. Isn’t that what you always tell me?” You teased as you suddenly began palming his bulge, to which he held back an embarrassing moan with all his might, and you could have laughed at his stubbornness, which was what you predicted, to be honest.
“You don’t want to moan for me that bad? That makes me sad,” you said in false hurt, beginning to kiss his clothed cock, just barely a bit of pleasure that was not nearly enough.
“This is not ‘taking care of me,’” he hissed out in irritation, repeating your exact words. Your torture had his patience running thin, something this segment did not have much of in the first place. Oh, how he wanted you to wrap your lips around him already, his hands firm on your head as he ruthlessly fucked your mouth.

 But here he was, reduced to a mere toy. It was a pitiful state for him to be in, throbbing cock left neglected. Beta’s arm slowly began to ease toward you, hoping to feel you like he’d always had before you caught him with a pout.
“What did I say? No touching unless I let you,” you chided him as you returned his hand to gripping the sheets instead. “Relax
 I’m not as cruel as you,” you reasoned as you finally pulled down his pants, making his bulge more prominent. Some relief, but not sweet enough yet. You sighed as you played with the band of his underwear, thinking of all the ways you could toy with him like you toyed with you


 But for now, your own patience was lacking. It was not a problem though, considering you were sure there’d be more opportunities despite the segment’s scoffs. So with one swift tug, you let his leaking cock free from its confines, rewarded with a held-back sigh of contentment from the scholar.
Dottore’s face was always a pleasure to look at. To see how he’s changed over the years, to see the age that settled in. Beta in particular had always been dashing, although not many people saw him unmasked. Youthful unscarred skin slightly reddened in pleasure, lips quivering for a few seconds before he quickly bit down to prevent any more unbecoming noises. It made you squeeze your own legs together in desire, but you wanted to see him come undone from a bit of teasing for once.
You wrapped your hand around Beta’s cock, giving it an experimental stroke to gauge his reaction. Not much yet, unfortunately. Moving closer to him, you placed a small kiss at the base, and began planting them as you finally reached the tip of his cock. Pre-cum was already dripping out from how long you’ve denied him the warmth of your mouth. You swirled your tongue around his tip before heatedly pressing it elsewhere, making sure to put on a show for him, as he released another groan. 
You admired his self-restraint, however. Alpha would have already been desperately bucking his hips. Still, Beta’s expression was simply exquisite. Eyes looking at you with dismay, as if he himself was surprised by his own actions, and fists clenched so hard, if he was a regular human he’d have drawn blood by now. It was already more than you could have hoped for, but you were excited to stretch the boundary.
Finally, you enveloped your mouth with him, taking as much as you could handle. You could feel him twitch in your mouth, hell, if not for his pride you were sure he wanted to come right there. Slowly, you moved up and down his cock, using your hand to stroke the rest of it. Normally, the segment would be snapping his hips at an inhuman pace seeking his release but to see him have to keep unusually stiff like this was amusing. You didn’t take your eyes off of your lover, his lewd expression motivating you to continue. 
You knew he was close. He was never one to delay his orgasms, too impatient to wait compared to his older selves. And after the delightful performance he put on for you tonight, it felt too mean to deny him, this time at least. You increased your pace, moaning around his cock, the sensation making Beta shudder, and finally he spilled into your mouth. You paused to accommodate the sudden load sprayed into you, dutifully swallowing and slowly pulling away from his cock to catch a breath.
After a brief break, you languidly ran your tongue over him again, cleaning up the mess he made. Beta hadn’t said anything yet aside from his lessening pants.
“Thought you said you wouldn’t enjoy this,” you lazily teased, eyes softening at his blissed-out look.
“Quiet,” Beta demanded, although his voice held no real harshness. It was obvious he was just embarrassed he came that much from submitting to you. “Hurry and finish whatever it is you want to do.” His command, which was more like a plea wrapped up in false dominance, egged you on to finally pull off your soaked underwear. Now, despite being knocked down a peg, Beta still found it mesmerizing to see how wet you were despite having not been touched by him. How he wished to have your slick smeared across his face instead of it being wasted dripping down your lips, but this was what you wished for

Beta’s previous demeanor seeped away as he watched you line yourself up with his cock, wanting his head to be clear enough to see you swallow him up. With one thrust, you lowered yourself onto him, his cock filling you to the brim. You nearly lost yourself to pleasure right there, were it not for the fact you remembered you’re supposed to be teasing him. This was the first time he let you ride him, after all. You needed to show him how good it could feel. 
You lifted yourself up, relishing the slow drag of his cock, before quickly dropping back onto him. In no time you found your pace and bounced on it, gasping and pressing your hand onto his chest. Beta looked at you with an expression beyond pleasure that words could describe, watching you use him to your heart’s content. His hands itched to squeeze your soft thighs, to dig his hands into them and perhaps lift you up and down his cock himself. Thankfully, his desire was answered.
Deciding to finally relieve him of his aching hands, you grabbed them and pushed them toward your breasts, thighs, tummy - whatever he wanted to touch. Not one to waste opportunities, he quickly took advantage of your kindness and reached to rub your clit, moving to pinch and pull at your breasts at the same time, delighting in how you threw your head back in gratification. Well, he wasn’t the only one who was allowed to do that. Not wanting to be outdone, you moved as fast as you could, lewd slaps nearly contending with your breathy moans as you watched as Beta in turn screwed his face up and let out his own hushed moan as well. 
With his nails dug into your thighs so hard you were sure they’d leave marks, with one final movement Beta spurted into you hard as you immediately came right after from the filling feeling. You were both left to breathe, bodies relaxing from the previous intensity. Your energy flowed away as you sighed, enjoying how cum continued to gush from your cunt. You laid down to cuddle on Beta’s chest, nuzzling gently into him. A few seconds later, his hand rested on your head, stroking and calming you down. You two stayed quiet like that for a little while, save for a few questions and if you needed water and such. 
“Are you happy?” Beta grumpily piped up, as he peered down at you, admittedly admiring how pretty you looked in the afterglow. You smiled.
“Very. My gift was very useful and compliant. An amazing birthday, that’s for sure.” Another ‘hmph’ made you softly giggle, before your laughter was turned into a squeal, as the segment maneuvered your back to be pressed against the mattress now.
“Good. Now that you’ve had your fun, I can give you the gift I originally had planned,” Beta smiled at you a bit eerily, and you realized his cock began to swell in you once again. But you only looked at him with a cocky grin.
“Is that so? Well, I love receiving multiple gifts. In fact, give me as much as you desire
”
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mywitchyblog · 2 days ago
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hello! I really love your content, and I’ve been following you for quite some time. i think your opinions on various topics are very thoughtful and accurate, so i have a question.
i’ve been noticing a subject (particularly on shiftok😭) where many people express their dislike of others scripting traumatic events into their realities, included to create a more intense backstory for them. for example, scripting that they lost a parent when they were younger or went through psychotic depression as a child.
i’d like to hear your opinion on this. do you think it’s okay to script some kind of trauma or disorder? personally, I don’t see an issue with it since it doesn’t affect my life or anyone else’s, but i’d love to hear your perspective on this topic!
Oh, honey, you just brought up one of my favorite rant-worthy topics. Grab a snack because we’re diving in! đŸ”âœš
My ✹Personal✹ Take:
First, thank you for the love, darling! It’s always a vibe connecting with someone who actually gets it. 💅 Now, let’s talk trauma scripting, because whew, the discourse around this is hotter than Satan’s sauna.
Here’s the thing: your DR is YOURS. Period. Full stop. You can script a Disney princess life or the tragic backstory of a brooding anti-hero—it’s entirely up to you. If you want to script a life-altering trauma, go off, babe. As long as you understand what you’re doing, it’s valid.
Let’s debunk the idea that “scripting trauma is bad”: In your DR, you’re living that experience. It’s not just words on paper; it becomes your reality. So if scripting something intense—like losing a parent or battling a mental health condition—helps you process, heal, or simply add depth to your DR self, that’s your business. Trauma, when scripted thoughtfully, can even be therapeutic. For some, it’s about reclaiming control over a narrative that felt chaotic or unresolved in their CR.
But let’s be clear: this isn’t playtime. You will feel what you script. The loss, the grief, the psychotic depression? It will be as real in your DR as it is for someone who’s endured it in their CR. So, if you’re scripting trauma for kicks or because you think it’s “dramatic,” you might want to take a hard look at your intentions.
The Fanfic Shifters Rant (Aka I Hate These Hoes):
Now let me pop off on these Shiftok clowns for a second. đŸ˜€ You know exactly the ones I’m talking about: the “everything’s just a quirky little fanfic” crew who waltz into shifting spaces treating their DRs like a bad Wattpad draft.
These hoes (yes, HOES) script trauma the way they’d order a pumpkin spice latte—casually, without thinking. “Oh, I’ll just throw in some childhood abandonment and sprinkle in an abusive relationship for ✹character development✹.” Like, are you dumb? Trauma isn’t a fucking aesthetic. It’s not “flavor” for your DR backstory.
When these people romanticize trauma, they trivialize the pain that real survivors experience. And worse? They make the whole shifting community look like a joke. Imagine someone who’s genuinely trying to use their DR to heal from their CR trauma stumbling upon one of these idiots? Embarrassing. I hate these hoes with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. They treat shifting like a sandbox where nothing matters and then complain when they end up spiraling in their DR because “oops, I didn’t realize depression would feel like that.” đŸ€Ą
I cannot stress this enough: your DR isn’t a fanfic. It’s your LIFE. You’ll live it, breathe it, feel it—all of it. If you’re not prepared to shoulder the weight of the trauma you’re scripting, don’t do it. And if you’re scripting trauma because you think it’s cute or cool? Stay far, far away from me. You’re not just irresponsible—you’re dangerous.
TL;DR (But Make It Iconic):
Scripting trauma is okay—as long as you’re doing it with intention and understanding the consequences.
Don’t treat trauma like it’s a quirky little accessory for your DR backstory. It’s serious, babe. Respect it.
To the fanfic shifters romanticizing trauma: I hate you hoes. Y’all are the reason people side-eye our entire community. Fix it.
Remember, shifting is about creating your dream life, not trivializing the experiences of others or glorifying pain you’ve never lived. Be mindful, stay informed, and, most importantly, don’t be a clown. đŸ€Ąâœš
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axhellart · 21 hours ago
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Leona and a representation with love topics (female & male)
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Everything said on this analysis is just a personal opinion, I don't mean to offend nor step on someone else's view or headcanons. Thanks to @/Viperkun to translate it.
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First of all, we need to start from the basics and ask ourselves, Who is Leona Kingscholar? Leona is a complex character, filled by development which not everyone sees through or most of the time tends to not notice. He's a character that tends to have high expectations over a depression pretty deep and prolonged, thereÂŽs many themes regarding those feelings of inferiority, demotivation and many others, which leads to his self sabotage. However, at first glance he doesn't allows himself to feel pity towards others due to his own high ego and pride, he's a man that despite finding his own life pretty unfair, keeps going on in his own way and stipule.
Now, how would this affect his romantic relationships? The answer may change depending on the person who is by his side, this includes gender. Leona is very polite towards women since he's from a country which prioritizes them, they're stronger and bigger than the usual males from the same country, and so, even if women doesn't really fit this kind of criteria, he's still going to be respectful towards them.
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No, he wouldn't be a role model prince (as an example, Eliza, with who he shared a few words one on one, then nothing more), but he's not going to have thoughts or actions that could be considered nor even be close to the category or definition of "incel".
He's not someone who overpowers by his strength or title over women; yes, he speaks with sarcasm, cynicism, and teasing is his second language, but he would never start any situation in which he would make someone uncomfortable or even less put someone at risk or danger (Overblot aside, since Yuu has no specific gender. If that was the case and Yuu was a girl -just like Savanaclaw's manga Yuu-, it's not that Leona decided to have a breakdown due to her or to hurt her, it was something out of his control due to circumstances)
In the case we talk about a boy, it wouldn't be too different from how we see Leona acting towards the rest of the twst cast in game; maybe the level of respect would lessen just a bit to talk in a bolder way we can consider as you to you.
I want to clarify that I'm not saying Leona is a bully towards a romantic male interest, just that he would probably have more fluid talks through a mutual understanding by sharing similar biological features if we put emotional and psychological sides apart, Reiterating it wouldn't be too far from his canon interactions with the original cast. Regarding my personal opinion (as well as this post is) I don't see Leona as someone who uses petnames with his romantic interest, at least not early into the relationship (established or not)
I know, there are many who have seen him or portray him as someone who would use nicknames as "my love", "darling", etc, and I don't invalidate any of them, though I can't really see them coming from someone who's stoic and serious most of the time. "Love melts even the coldest of hearts", yes, however it's complicated relating this through a romantic or platonic relationship with Leona, it's a bit complicated and takes some time.
As I mentioned before, he's a man with issues,problems which were born from deep insecurities and an inferior complex too huge to make them disappear all of a sudden just for love. It's a slow process, I'm not saying that he's going to be toxic once he gets into a relationship just that as many others the relationship would take more time and it's going to be complicated to finally establish it. The first phase of Leona being in love is denial, his main goal won't be focusing emotionally on a person, however, if he falls through this thought he would probably and mostly spend his time with said person; not being a man who would easily please someone with words, let's remember his brain tends to go under the logical side of things rather than emotional.
Even so, he's a man who's predominant love language (at least through this phase) is gift giving. Leona is a smart and sharp-eyed man, knowing at least a bit of the interest of the ones around him (Just look at Idia's second birthday card in which Leona gives him a chess set or how in more than on ocassion he gives Ruggie different things without him asking him to do so under their agreement of basic services; even when he gives a salad to Riddle or a pen to Vil, despite being unnecesary objects, and most of them being related to more of a silly/fun kind of interaction, they exist to let you know that he remembers those special days, he knows what to do, he is a man that sees and most importantly listens to his surroundings). Even if Leona's romantic interest doesn't mention they don't want anything Leona would read that somehow, he'll give it a meaning and provide surprise gifts through different kind of occasions for no apparent reason (money isn't a problem for him).
Moment of interlude, appreciate the kitten:
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Ok ,let's continue. Once the relationships progresses, PDA will make it's entrance. Leona would be pretty clingy with his loved one, letting his own scent on them to let the others know that he was there first. Don't misunderstand nor mistake this as the kind of a response from a toxic or possessive person, he knows when to give space and how, even he needs it, but that doesn't mean he would let his lover go around without their clothes having the slightest of his scent on it.
He enjoys to take naps on his lover's lap, or even sleeping while embracing them. If we focus on a more natural-like related environment, lions tends to demonstrate their care to others by caressing each other's heads with their own, caressing their fur and also leaving some love bites; it wouldn't be much different here.
Personally I can see Leona giving love bites as a sign of affection; bites on the cheeks, shoulders, hands or neck (this without leading to a sexual side), leaning his head against his lover's one, or their shoulders if they're hugging, lazy little kisses around their face. I've read that when it comes to a girl, Leona would even ask for permission for a kiss, again related to the topic of consent and respect, to which I agree being someone who would ask for permission without words but actions, subtle, around two or three that would feel more than enough for him.
I don't see Leona jumping over or around someone to express his love through the first months into the relationship, he would be patient, testing the waters to see if this person isn't playing or making fun of him and his trust, something that has happened with other characters from the cast.
Please don't misunderstands my words, I've said before that he would ask for consent if his partner was a girl, but this works in case his romantic interest is a boy too, I just see him being more teasing with the last example.
Conclusion: Leona would never be categorized as a toxic man that would use his strength or status over someone he loves. Even if he ever could do so, the most possible scenario is an accidental one and he would make sure to apologize if he mistreated or make his partner uncomfortable. Leona isn't someone that would be afraid of apologizing when he knows he has done something wrong (we can see this during Tamashina Mina and how he apologizes to Jack by not thinking about how the hot weather would affect him since he wasn't from the same place as him). This also doesn't means that he would leave his pride aside, all he has is his own pride anyways, for good or wrong.
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He's a responsible man, attentive, someone who wouldn't be the best at using cliche or romantic words at first; but everything will change with time and a slow development, overthrowing the bad times that he could experience as a partner while evolving into someone capable to keep a relationship of respect and lots of mutual and understanding love.
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thewalrusespublicist · 2 days ago
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Hello! Love your blog and your takes, objective and sane and well researched chefs kiss! I had a blast scrolling through it like it was my feed yesterday lol can you elaborate on klaus and Paul if possible? People mostly talk about them like it’s already understood but I don’t understand 😭 I’m kinda lost on their (all of them, including stu) dynamic during the hamburg years specifically when it comes to Paul
Aww thank you anon! Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol). So I really, really needed this. :)
Oh Paul vs/and the Exsis, it's quite a long one so buckle up.
Disclaimer: all of the people involved are essentially art kids/young adults who are famously the most exhausting people on the planet. Do not blame them for being dramatic, it's their natural state of being.
If we want to go into Paul and Klaus, we have to kind of start with the John, Paul and Stu. Now these three are a mess that's too big to go into here (though I have THOUGHTS about how Stu is utilised in the Beatles narrative that I'm more than happy to share if asked lmaooo). But in short(ish):
John and Paul had had an intense year and a bit of closeness. Then John meets Stu at art college.
John and Stu become c l o s e for many reasons (being peers, living together, similar artistic leanings + ego, Stu being a gentle guide to John, sharing art projects/poetry/long letters and feelings etc.) They became 'closer than two men' a friend had seen (remind us of anyone gang?). Most importantly, John could be open about his feelings with Stu in letters. If John had BPD which I subscribe too, I think Stu was his 'favourite person' and as Aunt Mimi said his 'special' and 'closest friend' from this period up until his death (though imho the transference back to Paul was starting prior to his death).
It's not clear what exactly happens as there's differing accounts but Stu uses his money to buy a new bass as John wants him to come to Scotland then Hamburg and play bass as he will 'look good'.
Paul doesen't like being relegated to the seat behind John and Stu when he used to sit next to John. He also isn't thrilled when he gets to Hamburg and not only does he get to sleep in the other room with just Pete but Stu cannot be arsed to play because he's hanging out with his hot new girlfriend Astrid (more on her in a sec). Our boy has spent a lot of money he doesen't have and given up on further education to be here and is jealous and annoyed.
Paul and Stu probably were friends and I think their mutual antipathy is overegged. HOWEVER, can't be denied that Paul is jealous of Stu and Stu is jealous of Paul (and getting flare-ups from increasing brain damage). John and Stu tease Paul and steal his money, Paul is mean to Stu (as are the others encouraged by John). Do I think John was playing games with both of them? Yup. They end up scuffling onstage because Paul said something about Astrid (not clear what, one account is that Paul said that Stu could borrow money off Astrid if he needed it which isn't really that bad a dig but who knows Yoko??).
Why is this dynamic important? Because it directly impacts the 'Exsis' (Klaus, Jurgen and Astrid's) group's relationship with Paul:
The Exsis were young artists living in Hamburg. They were artistic, cool, interesting and edgy. They were paramount in introducing the Beatles to cool new concepts, aesthetics and ideas. They also took themselves VERY seriously ie pretentious as all hell.
Astrid met Stu at Kaiserkeller and hit it off. They embarked on an all-consuming romance.
Letter from Stu to Astrid, c.1961
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I've seen people say they were the proto-John and Yoko in terms of making their romance the whole world and influencing John years down the line and I can see that. With Astrid and Stu it's far more endearing though because they ARE young and the right age to have a relationship like that. Stu is popular with the Exsis in general and brings them into the Beatles group.
The Exsis didn't like or trust Paul. Astrid said later it was because Paul was 'too nice' which she herself admits is a ridiculous reason. The others also thought he was a bit of a show-off. It makes sense though if you're cool and edgy and want to stick it to the world to be sus about a guy being friendly show-off with seemingly no inner world. The other problem was a perfectly reasonable one imo, you're not going to like your friends frenemy who you don't connect with. Compound that with Paul not taking drugs as much as George or John and being in the other room and you begin to have a division.
Paul had been popular his whole life, like from what we know since-primary-school-popular. He had never been in this position before, let alone in a foreign country. I believe it became a bit of a brutal feedback loop. Paul's response to this type of behaviour consistently it to go more surface level, snide and passive aggressive. The natural response of any group with a designated 'ugh' person is to become more shady and exclusionary. The cycle continues and gets worse. Stu letters back home at this time says that in a shocking turn of events Paul is hated by everyone but Stu 'just feels sorry for him' (lmao OF COURSE you do Stu, its giving 'loathing' from Wicked lol). Klaus drew a lot of artwork of the early Hamburg Beatles that includes this highly unpleasant picture of Paul in 1961 which I think says a lot:
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Klaus is also a musician and fancies himself a place on bass. When Stu leaves to pursue art, Klaus asks John if he could take over but John says that he thinks Paul is going to do it.
Klaus has later gone on to say that he thinks he was a better bass player for the Beatles' sound at the start and then Paul developed into being better for the group. It's one of those I cannot believe those words actually left your mouth and you are not deeply embarrased moments. But it's important to keep this desire and viewpoint in mind.
Klaus stays in touch with all of them and close to John and George, George especially. They visit Klaus on holiday in tenerife in early 60s and Klaus later draws the Revolver artwork.
This whole context of how they met and Hamburg is crucial and has to be taken into account when hearing Klaus' statements. Klaus and Paul started off with a lack of connection and with Paul on the outs, the Exsis got an incomplete view of Paul and an inaccurate snapshot of the Beatles dynamic overall. This is why when Klaus says 'Paul was always slightly apart from the others' and that 'divorce was inevitable' from early 60s we should remember that that is what Klaus is expecting to see as that's what he saw in Hamburg.
Klaus wanted to be the bass player (and was holding out hope to join a band with George and John in the 70s), was really close with George and suffers as many did with 'John Lennon aspiring boy bestie syndrome' (JABBS). Paul had what Klaus wanted and from the Hamburg experience, you could see why Klaus thought he might have an in and may have been jealous of this 'shallow' Paul of all people having the connection that he felt he should/could have with John and George. As with most sufferers of JABBS, he took John's side with everything, always refused to say any regrets about his involvement in How do you Sleep and thought Paul was fine with the song because 'he was even closer to John than [he] was. (Again Klaus to put yourself in that level of closeness with John that it's comparable to Paul is ???.) JABBS and its secondary condition PMIETGSH (Paul McCartney isn't even that good shut up) are virulent diseases that incapacitate sufferers objectivity and judgement, so it's fair to say that Klaus is a source you have to take with a pinch of salt on the early 70s period.
It seems that Klaus and Paul did get on a lot better the older they got (probably without the jealousy complication of George and John) and developed a sweet friendship. Here is Klaus' tribute to Paul for his 80th:
Here is the jam session he's talking about:
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He now wants Paul to live in his house lmao so things have gotten warmer. But Klaus and Paul's dynamic is a great example of how and why natural bias, little jealousies and spats can consciously or subconsciously influence our internal narrative and why we need to be so careful about not taking one perspective as gospel.
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j-partneringrime · 2 days ago
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Rachel Amber is such a good character and I don’t get the amount of hate she gets. I feel like people who are judging her based on some of her actions really don’t understand her character, because that’s exactly what happens in the games. In the first game, most people who talk about rachel say how popular she was or how beautiful she was, and how cool she was at parties or how good she was at modelling, almost everything said about rachel from people other than chloe is stuff like that. the way they talk about her to max, who never met her, really seems like they don’t view her a as an actual person and more as an idea, they let their idea of rachel overshadow who she actually was and what she actually did and felt, she was always the popular girl or the party girl or something like that, she was always “rachel amber” instead of just rachel amber (if that makes sense). And rachel leaned into that assumption of her a bit but not in a lying, manipulative way like some people say, but in a similar way to chloe being known as a trouble maker and a rebel, which made her act like that more than she would’ve normally, without that expectation of her. It’s just so heartbreaking to see after rachel’s death that most people who she knew, when asked about her, don’t actually talk about what she was actually like as person. And that’s shown even more while she was alive in BtS, that everyone has an idea of her but no one truly knows her, even her parents think of her as their perfect, smart, polite, always good daughter, which isn’t who she is, I mean it’s part of her and everything else people think of her aren’t lies, but they’re only part of her. And chloe is the only person we ever see rachel fully open up to and when talking about rachel, actually talks about what she was like as person and the full person what she was, not just the idea that people got from her. That’s why it’s so sad and mischaracterising when people say she was using chloe and manipulating her, because chloe was the only person she ever let her herself fully be free with and without any expectations of her, including her own parents. I don’t understand how people can see their relationship and think it’s all fake from rachel’s end, especially since the ending of BtS and the big final decision is about the trust they have in each other and how rachel trusts chloe completely, because the final choice of whether to tell her the truth or not is very much framed as either don’t tell her and save her the pain of losing her father, which chloe understands and also knows how much rachel needs her family right now, or do tell her because rachel has complete trust in chloe and to not tell her would be to betray that trust, and to betray the only real relationship rachel has, and to view that thinking rachel doesn’t care about chloe removes all meaning from that moment. That moment is literally about how much trust rachel has in chloe and how much she cares about her and the choice you make is deciding if you are going to be worthy of that trust and love that rachel is giving you or if you’ll betray it and hide something incredibly meaningful from her when she needs someone to be there for her more than ever. And I feel like that trust between them is what ends up helping rachel open up more after BtS and what lets rachel let down some of walls when she and chloe hang out with other people, like steph and mikey or justin and trevor. Rachel is an amazing character who deserved much better from both in universe and real life. She deserved to live, she deserved to get out of Arcadia bay with chloe, she deserved to meet max and she deserves to be seen as she is by the fandom instead of the strange evil and manipulative idea some have of her. Rachel Amber is an amazing character, and deserves all the love <3
Also the argument at the junkyard, really shows just how much people’s perception of rachel affects her, that chloe, who she has never really spoken to before and only interactions are yesterday at the concert and today skipping school, both of which are good days for them and go against what people think of rachel, after all that chloe still pushes and kind of forces the ideas and assumptions about rachel on her, even though none of her experiences with rachel fit that perception of her, she still uses it against her, because that’s just how she’s known sadly. Which I don’t fully blame chloe for because both her and rachel weren’t in the best mindset during that fight and literally everyone has that perception of her so chloe leaning into that perception of her is believable but you know, it still happened.
(btw these are more my thoughts about her from an in universe perspective, not how she was written irl, because I know some of the stuff I mention, like how people talk about her in LiS 1, is because of the story and how her character is purposefully written and meant to be viewed)
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writingdevil · 1 day ago
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Firstly I wanted to say that I loved tongues and teeth it was a super fun story that got me real attached to Paranoid and Opportunist’s relationship in it. So when you said that you were taking requests I knew I just had to ask for more of them. Specifically I think it would be real sweet if Paranoid was defending Opportunist to someone like Cheated who’s more hesitant about his trustworthiness. Maybe Opportunist even overhears the conversation and teases him about it later but is actually really appreciative of it that could be fun. Idk I just thought this would be a fun premise and would love to see what you write for it.
(Thank you for liking my story!This is also my first request so I'm so excited for to write this!This takes place in PT.7 after Oppy talks to Smitten,Cheated and Skeptic.Enjoy!)
"Hey Paranoid,can I talk to you for a minute?"
Opportunist stopped in his tracks of getting more sticks for the fire,slowly hiding behind a tree as Cheated brought Jitters aside to talk to him.
Jitters was immediately panicking."What's wrong?" he asked,feathers and shoulders rising in alarm."Are you hurt?Are you hiding something?"
"What?"Cheated asked,staring up at Jitters in confusion."No,no-nothing's wrong.I just have a question."
"Oh."Opportunist had to bite his lip to stop laughter from pouring out as Jitters' blank face and his whole body deflated at once.He still looked wary as he said,"Okay?Go on."
Cheated sighed harshly,making sure to look Jitters in the eye,before finally asking in a low whisper, "What did he do?"
"...What?"
"What did he do?Did he threaten you?I bet he lied to you!"
"Cheated,what are you-"Cheated suddenly cut Jitters off by grabbing his shoulders,pulling him in closer with an urgency in his eyes and voice as he said,"Paranoid,you can not believe a thing Opportunist tells you!"
Jitters pulled himself out of Cheated's grip,giving him a confused look."Wait,this is about Oppy?Why?"
"Because he's a liar that only serves himself!" Cheated hissed,and Opportunist's wings lowered in shame at the truth."He doesn't care about anyone other than himself-including you,no matter what bullshit he's after telling you!He doesn't play fair, Paranoid!"
Jitters twisted his body in a way that prevented Opportunist from seeing his face,but judging from the long silence that followed,Opportunist doubted that Jitters' response was going to be good.
Finally,he watched as Jitters slowly tilted his head to one side and quietly said,"He doesn't really play fair,does he?"
Despite his best efforts,Opportunist felt his heart drop at Jitters' words.He knew they still didn't completely trust each other,but he thought that he had made some progress with Jitters.
He thought Jitters had given him the chance that others hadn't.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and was about to walk off,having heard all these insults before, when Jitters spoke up,"But that doesn't mean that he didn't care about us."
He froze,and he forced himself to slowly turn his head back,staring at the surprised expression on Cheated's ragged face.
"I think he was just afraid.I was afraid everytime we faced off against the princess.I think he found it-easier to just side with the voice with the most sway,because that might be how He survives.I think he was mainly concerned about survival, about keeping Him safe,no matter what,because why wouldn't he?"
"Because he's an asshole,"Cheated grumbled,and Jitters shrugged."Sometimes I would think that too, but realistically,he had to look out for the Decider because he was still a part of Him.Otherwise,what would be the point in all that deceit if there was nothing good to come out of it for us?"
Opportunist saw the way Cheated's face shifted, how his anger was slowly disappearing and changing into annoyed understanding at Jitters' words.Opportunist was gobsmacked at the sight.
Jitters lowered his head,and he saw him lift his arm up to inspect."These new bodies are weird.I'm not sure how I feel about it."
"Me neither,"Cheated quietly agreed,stretching out his wings that were too small for his body.
"It's hard to believe that we have our own free will now,that we can move and speak and do whatever we want."
"I guess that's a good thing though,right?"Cheated said,"We don't have to fight for control anymore."
"I suppose so,"Jitters said,in a way that Opportunist wondered if he preferred to be back in someone's head,if that was easier for him.
"But,"Jitters said,"if we have all this newfound freedom and control for ourselves,then why has Oppy stuck around?"Opportunist gulped,as he watched how Cheated didn't have an answer to that.
"He's the one in control of his own body,but he's still hanging around us and helping find the others. Why do you think that is?"
"Because he's got some trick up his sleeve!" Cheated insisted,but Opportunist argument now sounded weak in his own voice.Jitters shrugged again,looking around the forest,and Opportunist caught the calm look in his eyes,as if defending Opportunist was something he was sure in,that he didn't doubt or worry about.
Opportunist's loyalty was something Jitters had full faith in.
That was only cemented as Jitters said,"He might, but if he's deciding to stick around the flock for so long,don't you think he would've tried something by now?"Then Jitters walked off,leaving Cheated-and Opportunist-to soak in his words.
He saw Cheated's face go through a mix of emotions in a matter of seconds-first anger,then shock, confusion,and then finally-soft acceptance, to which he just sighed and rolled his eyes,before walking back to camp.
Opportunist stood in that spot for a few minutes, until he felt somebody tap him on the shoulder.He yelped and whirled around,clutching the bundle of sticks to his chest,as he found Hunted standing there and giving him a perplexed look."What are you doing?"
"Nothing!"
-
Twenty minutes later,they were all sitting around a newly fed fire,and Opportunist immediately scanned for where Jitters was,and went straight over to him.
"What a fruitful day this has been,"he said as a greeting,giving Jitters a big smile as he sat down next to him.Jitters just smiled at him tiredly,turning to look back at the glow of the fire."More like hectic."
"Of course you would think that."They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes,but Opportunist couldn't help but turn to stare at Jitters,his heart as warm as the fire felt for how he defended Opportunist.
Jitters' face scrunched up as he tensed up,and he sent Opportunist a light glare as he sharply asked, "Why are you staring at me?"
Opportunist continued to look at him for a few seconds,before bursting out into quiet chuckles. Now Jitters was even more confused as he sat up straighter."What?What is it?"
Opportunist shook his head,and he gave Jitters a cocky grin as he said,"Just didn't know how soft you were,Jitters."
"What do you mean?"
Opportunist bumped shoulders with him as he said,"I'm just flattered that you don't think I have a trick up my sleeve."
Realisation dawned on Jitters,making his body relax but his feathers puff up in embarrassment. "Oh,"he quietly said,"you heard all that?"He nodded. "Yep.Forget Hero-you should be my knight in shining armour."
Jitters rolled his eyes and groaned."I just didn't want him to get the wrong idea."
"Uh-huh,"Opportunist said,still grinning playfully at him,"what would I do without you,Jitters?"
"I just,"Jitters continued,as if deaf to Opportunist's teasing and more concerned with explaining himself,"I don't think there's any point in worrying about stuff like that now."
Opportunist's grin shrunk as he asked,"Stuff like what?"Jitters gestured towards him and answered, "Stuff like if you want to trick us.Because you don't. You're here now with everyone else,helping them stay together,and that should be good enough right now-because it's good enough for me."
Opportunist stared at Jitters,before a shaky,small smile crept up on his face.He quickly ducked his head before Jitters could see,not used to having someone come to his defense before.Usually it was him trying to convince the others to believe him.
He found that he liked the change.
He draped his wing over Jitters and said,"Thanks, Jitters,I appreciate it."
He didn't need to look up to feel the warm smile Jitters sent him.
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milkoomi · 3 days ago
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â‹†Ëšàż” a new canvas means a new you 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
a mini series on the art of becoming a better you
chapter 1 | chapter 2
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chapter three — THE ART OF SAYING “NO”
learning to say “no” and having boundaries can really lift you up. it brings you this strength that you felt like would have been impossible to have. the mentality and emotional power it gives you can make you feel unstoppable! however, i know there’s a lot of us out there that may struggle with putting your foot down and saying no. and that’s okay! this chapter is here to teach you that saying “no” and putting your own needs first is something that you are allowed to do! people pleasing is a big thing that stops a lot of us from setting boundaries, and unfortunately, it’s caused us to be put in situations or relationships that aren’t good for us. say “no”! set those boundaries! you have a right to do so.
á„«á­Ą. the importance of putting yourself first
let’s start this chapter off with a discussion on why you need to put you and your own needs first.
you can’t give your best to others when you, yourself, aren’t at your best.
this is one of the biggest lessons i had to learn for myself. i’m not one to always call out from work or miss a lecture, but there are days where my mental health is really struggling and i can’t bring myself to even get out of bed. so, i prioritize myself and take a day to rest, relax, and recharge so that i can continue to give my all the next day! people always talk about prioritizing your health, but they don’t always include mental health, so be sure that when you prioritize your health that you’re also taking your mental/emotional state in mind!
you also can’t expect yourself to give others your best when you aren’t providing yourself the best. if a friend needs you, but you are in a spot where you need yourself more yet you continue to give to another person, then you’ll have nothing left for yourself. one of the first things you hear on an airplane is to put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else with theirs. so use that same mindset of helping and taking care of yourself first before you go and help another.
people pleasing gets you nowhere
to piggyback off of the previous statement, if you’re constantly someone’s “yes” man/woman/person, you’re constantly putting yourself in a position that makes you their personal doormat. people will lose respect for you and your boundaries if you’re always trying to please them; they see it all as an opportunity to use and take advantage of you, your time, and your energy.
you can still be a good person while still having boundaries! just because you’re setting a personal boundary for yourself and for others that doesn’t automatically mean you’re selfish or anything along the lines of being a bad person.
á„«á­Ą. how to set boundaries
setting boundaries is key! it’s important that these boundaries are put into place so that your own energy isn’t taken from you, especially when you need your energy the most.
know what your personal limits are
understanding what you will and will not accept will help be the first step into knowing what boundaries you want to set! take time to reflect and ask yourself, “what do i want with my time, my emotions, and my relationships?” know how you want your energy to be spent.
be clear about your boundaries
having a good idea of what you need and want for yourself will help you communicate your boundaries. once you know your own personal limits, create a clear boundary that you want to set for yourself and for others.
use “I” statements
setting a healthy boundary is important, so be sure to use statements with “i feel
” rather than “you
” because those “you” statements can come off as accusatory, and whoever it may be that you’re setting a boundary with may not take kindly to it.
consistency
make sure you’re consistent with your boundaries. reapply or restate them until those boundaries stick. practice, practice, practice! consistency will help to continue to reinforce the boundaries you’ve set!
set consequences
people will cross your boundaries, and it’s going to happen and it will be extremely frustrating. a lot of times, unfortunately, people will continue to cross your boundaries over and over again, so set consequences.
i’m not saying you have to be outright rude or lash out on them; fighting negativity with negativity is an unnecessary stressor to put on yourself. create a plan for yourself that will help you communicate some kind of response for whenever your boundaries are being crossed.
á„«á­Ą. practice saying “no”
saying “no” is one of the key things when setting boundaries. you don’t want to go out with people? say no. your boss is asking you to pick up more hours, but you’re already starting to feel drained? say no. a friend is asking you if they can vent to you, but you’re not in the right headspace to deal with strong emotions? say no.
you can always politely say no, of course, especially in a healthy friendship/relationship or a professional setting.
here’s how:
“i’m not feeling up for it right now, maybe when i’m feeling better another day we can!”
“i can’t take those hours on, i have prior responsibilities i need to attend to.”
“i’m not in the right headspace to take that on right now, but i still love and care for you!”
i know there’s a lot of us who might worry about coming off as rude, but there are so many ways other than the ones i mentioned to say no!
again, you can still be a good person and have boundaries. if anything, having boundaries puts you in healthier mindset and can bring you healthier relationships with people! boundaries are there to strengthen yourself!
you have to be firm and to assert yourself. you know you don’t want your time and your energy to be spent on someone or something that drains you more than replenishes you.
á„«á­Ą. final notes
i just want to keep reiterating that you are allowed to say no and set boundaries. too many of us have lived lives where we felt like our purpose was to please others and give and give until we have nothing left for ourselves. put yourself first! i say this all the time: you are always you’re number one priority. it’s the truth, and i’ll keep saying the truth until it sticks for you because you need to know that for yourself. you are allowed to prioritize yourself, your wants, and your needs. being selfish, for the right reasons, is okay! wanting to take care of yourself and focus on your needs is the right reason to be selfish. you’re allowed to want your own time, you’re allowed to be there for yourself before anyone else, you’re allowed to put your own well-being before others— you should be doing so! becoming a better you means learning to put yourself first!
with lots of love, juno đŸŒ·
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stillness-in-green · 3 days ago
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Finding Fascism in My Hero Academia (COMPLETE)
The final part (and the longest, thanks to an extended ramble about language usage on the last point) is now public on the Patreon! Find the links to all parts below, or hit the jump to read a final round of excerpts, including the final tally and a bit from the conclusion:
PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR (<- New!)
Point 12: Machismo and weaponry.
The major exception to the rejection of modernism—fascists are boys who love their toys.  Looking for ways to carry over the national-scale preoccupations with strength and warfare, these values are recreated on the smaller and more personal scale via an obsession with masculinity, virility, and martial prowess.  This leads to a disdain for femininity (fascism is frequently patriarchal) as well as non-standard sexual habits (chastity, homosexuality, etc.).  The constipation about sex also leads to a lot of that energy spilling over/being displaced into the fascination with weaponry, giving the relationship of the fascist to his weapon(s) a sexual charge.
Meta-Narrative: It’s probably the case that a solid majority of Shonen Jump manga are a little (and sometimes a lot) dysfunctional about women and sexuality, and if MHA is better than some of them, well, it’s no great accomplishment to be less sexist than Death Note.  While I don’t think Horikoshi intends to be disdainful of women or femininity, the pattern of the work is clear in terms of the attention and effectiveness MHA’s women are allowed to enjoy.
Meanwhile, the story pokes fun at Deku’s idea of romance as being ill-informed, but its own most overt engagement with the fact of human sexuality really only comes in one flavor: predatory.  While it’s treated with different levels of seriousness—we might posit a spectrum between Mineta and Toga, with Midnight holding down the middle—the story is, by and large, totally at sea on how to depict healthy, reciprocal sexuality, so it either turns it into a joke (Mineta, Midnight), makes it terrifying (Toga, also Midnight), or buries it (Ochaco’s repression plotline, throwaway nods to the romantic entanglements of non-Class A characters).  As was much joked about on Twitter, the relationship that provides the main romantic throughline of the entire series concludes with a dap-style handshake!
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Point 13: Selective populism./Delegitimization of parliamentary government.
Individuals within fascism have no rights and no ability to exercise political will.  They can only act as a theatrical monolith; the Leader interprets the “will of the people” and any people/institutions who disagree with the Leader are targeted for failing to represent said will.  Leads to hostility towards elected/representative groups as being corrupt or illegitimate.  For those in the U.S., consider every attack ad you see during election season about how this or that politician is a slave to the “swamp” and not what their constituency “wants” or “needs”; even more prominently, consider Donald Trump’s constant attacks on the legitimacy of any election or lawsuit he loses.
MLA: There are definitely shades of it—the MLA certainly doesn’t operate as a democracy!—but it’s not “populism” as defined by Eco because no one is really pretending to speak “for the people.”  Rather, they’re all pretty clear on following the will of one specific person, that being the great Destro (as interpreted by his descendant); Destro’s will does represent an ideal future for “the people,” but Re-Destro makes no pretenses of speaking for the people as a collective right now.  While we could make some attempts to tie their ideal of Liberation to selective populism—would their talk of people being free to use their meta-abilities to become their truest selves make room for people whose goals and dreams have nothing to do with their meta-abilities at all?—evidence from the canon is conflicting.
(...)
As to the delegitimization of parliamentary governments, well, Trumpet is the parliamentary elephant in the room.  The PLF’s plan per Hawks is to at least undermine the legitimate government, though it’s unclear whether “storm the political world” means carrying out some sort of populist coup or just using the tidal wave of changed public opinion to sweep the next election.  In Eco’s definition, the whole gist of this point is stripping the public at large of any ability to meaningfully self-govern, both by depriving them of their right to make their voice heard politically and by undermining the public trust in fairly elected government representatives.  It’s hard to gauge the MLA or Heroes on this because the story skittishly avoids depicting representative government of any kind.
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Point 14: Newspeak.
From the Orwell concept, Ur-Fascism limits the vocabulary and syntax of its members, preferring hot button code words and simplistic rhetoric, thus making complex thought and critical reasoning both difficult and inherently suspect.  Commonly cited examples are Orwell’s IngSoc and the huge amount of Nazi terminology that—like IngSoc—has the explicit intent of obscuring the meaning of words, especially in ways that downplay the severity or atrocity they’re being used to describe.  I recently saw the ever-popular “unalive” described in this way as well; though words like that began as a way to allow people to discuss serious topics in spaces that are unfriendly to such discussion, popularizing them beyond such spaces has the effect of diminishing the seriousness of the realities the words describe.
Team Hero: (...) Nearly as foundational as Hero and Villain, there’s the term for the setting’s superpowers themselves—originally meta-abilities, now quirks.  In-universe, the change came about specifically as a way for a struggling government to make something many people still saw as unacceptable, acceptable.  This is an issue particularly because the term chosen was used to justify legislation that directly opposed the spirit of that same term.  A word intended to describe meta-abilities as just another aspect of a person, one they should be able to live with freely, was instead used to help pass laws restricting their use.  Further, a very descriptive word for a phenomenon that still had not reached popular acceptance was replaced with a cuter, more familiar, more casual word that totally sacrificed descriptiveness in favor of attempting to force a top-down reframing of that phenomenon.
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FINAL SCORES: MLA 4.5 | Team Hero 4 | Meta-Narrative 6.5
Conclusion: The aspects of the Meta-Liberation Army that obviously say “fascist” to the audience—the militancy, the contempt for the weak, the willingness to murder people who disagree with them—are all very easy to recognize and, moreover, recognize as Bad.  Conversely, the fascistic traits of the Heroes—and they hit many of the same ones as the MLA!—are much less visible.  This is in large part due to the meta-narrative: where its sympathies lie and how it guides the reader’s expectations, especially readers who are not used to applying this sort of Doylist scrutiny to their media intake.
For example, I said when talking about the “Action for action’s sake” criterion that its particular brand of anti-intellectualism is relatively common in shounen comics.  Sure, it’s nice and obvious that anti-intellectualism is Bad when it takes the form of Scarecrow telling the mob not to collect themselves, but Scarecrow’s words, functionally speaking, are little different than All Might praising Deku’s brainless, unthinking Heroic Instincts—if anything, I’d say All Might is worse!  The difference is in how the story frames them: Scarecrow is somehow both raving zealot and calculating bad faith actor, and he winds up arrested and forgotten about, while Deku follows All Might’s encouragement all the way to a climax in which he murders Shigaraki for lack of any effort put into thinking about how to save him, and this act of “heroism” changes both the weather and the world.
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Read the rest here!
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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 days ago
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Hii, I was wondering if you had any recs of a writer/author John au. I've found some of author Sherlock, but none of John except his blogging that he does normally. if you don't do recs anymore or don't feel like answering feel free to ignore and have a lovely day! <3
Hi Nonny!
Oh I'm still doing weekly lists, I just don't get many asks for them anymore so I feel like y'all don't like them anymore LOL. BUT!! Your ask is a fantastic excuse to use your ask as a list prompt since I don't have one ready for today!! I actually find the opposite, that there seem to be more "writer John" fics more than the other way around, especially as I've been going through my lists.
That said, I've done a tag search for "writer" and "author" on my offline lists, and here's what I got! Hope you enjoy and as usual, if anyone has any fics that they would like to suggest, please add them below!!
WRITER / AUTHOR JOHN
BOOKMARKS
A Gossamer Dream by CarmillaCarmine (E, 15,985 w., 4 Ch. || Writer/Teacher AU || First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Writer John / Teacher Sherlock, Fluff, London, Holding Hands, Online Friendship / Romance, Phone Sex, Anal Sex, Happy Ending, Alternating POV, Scottish John, Online Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, Hand Holding, Forehead Touching, First Kiss/Time, Texting/Sexting, Rimming, Toplock, Sherlock Speaks French) – Sherlock had never realised one could care so much about someone they'd never met in person. Now he is about to meet the friend with whom he's been chatting online for months and his anticipation is reaching a crescendo. Part 19 of Johnlock Smut (with Feels)
Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.
MARKED FOR LATER
Exposition - An Ex Files Special by 7PercentSolution (T, 7,643 w., 12 Ch. || POV Second Person, Angst, Bereavement, Poetry / Haiku, Hallucinations, Writing as Therapy) – John's a writer. However much Sherlock derided the blog, people read what he writes. After the fall, John's writing takes a surprisingly different approach. This sets the context for a series of chapters, each one including a different poem by John. Part 4 of Ex Files
keywords: Gay, Loving, Boyfriends by lookupkate (E, 17,771 w., 17 Ch. || Doctor John AU || Alternate First Meeting, Hospitals, John Writes Smut, Sherlock Reads Smut, Fanfiction) – John starts writing gay romance while holed up in hospital. Sherlock reads the first fic on accident, and it sticks with him for days. He can't help but read more from the unknown writer. Little does he know, the writer isn't exactly unknown to him. The writer happens to be the A&E Doctor he's feuding with. Christ, can you imagine what he'll think once he finds out? 
Dead Letter Office by a_different_equation (M, 20,364 w., 15 Ch. || ‘Bartleby’ Fusion / Office Setting AU || Different First Meeting, Epistolary, John's Blog, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pre-Canon, John Watson is Sherlock's Boss, PTSD John, Military Backstory, Writer John, Drug Use, Texting) – John Watson comes home from the war, gets a new job and meets Sherlock Holmes through Mike Stamford. Same tale since 1891, except this time it’s 2008, John is Sherlock’s boss, and they work together at the Dead Letter Office in London. It's not a love story, until it finally is.
The Reawakening of John Watson by  221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (E, 20,463 w., 14 Ch. || Historical 1800s American/Victorian AU || Artist Sherlock, Writer John, Angst with Happy Ending, Bisexual John, Period Typical Homophobia, Sensuality, Experienced Sherlock, Pining, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Love Confessions, Flirty Sherlock, Frottage, Outdoor Sex, Trust Issues, Minor Character Death, Sexual Tension, Colorado / London, Rimming, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs,  POV John) – Trying to escape his troubled past in England, John Watson has started a new life in the American West. When he meets the handsome artist Sherlock Holmes, a smoldering attraction is sparked, complicating his quiet, carefully guarded existence. Maybe taking a risk with Sherlock is exactly what John needs to feel alive again...
The Key to Castles in the Air by LadyKailitha (T, 34,365 w., 21 Ch. || Author AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Bratty Sherlock, Damaged Sherlock, Romance, Shop Clerk/Writer John) – John is a clerk (and writing a book on the side) at a bookshop run by Mrs Hudson. The one downside to this perfect job is Sherlock Darling, Mrs Hudson's friend who loves to rile John up. About everything. All that changes when they are forced to spend a week together in the country when bad weather hits. Sherlock's got secrets. What will John do once he finds them out?
There I Saw You, Night by esplanade (T, 54,073 w., 12 Ch. || Writer AU || Poet Sherlock, Writer John, True Love, Sherlock's A Mess, Conversations, John's Family) – "It wasn't as if he had stopped writing entirely. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was just that most of what he wrote ended up thrown into the fireplace at home. What was the sense in keeping something that was sub-par?"
This Is Your Song by agirlsname (E, 79,990 w., 19 Ch. || Moulin Rouge Fusion || Prostitute Sherlock, Poet John, Acting, Singing, Dancing, Writing, Poetry, Musical, Song Fic, Heavy Angst, Unreliable Narrator, Sherlock is French, Love at First Sight, UST, First Kiss/Time, Frottage, Coming in Pants, Anal Sex, Switchlock, Clothed Sex, Crossdressing, Secret Relationship, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, Terminal Illnesses, Grief/Mourning, Breakup/Makeup Sex, Past Drug Use, Attempted Rape, Canon-Typical Violence)– When John Watson is invalided home from the army in 1895, he moves to Paris to rediscover his writing and find a new meaning in life. His old friend Stamford invites him into a group of artist friends, and suddenly John finds himself auditioning to write a show for the famous brothel across the street. There, he meets the most beautiful man he’s ever seen - Sherlock, the star of the Moulin Rouge. But Sherlock is already promised to the investor of the show, the rich Duke Moriarty.
A Case of Identity – The Musical by shamelessmash (E, 83,147 w., 15 Ch. || 1950â€Čs Hollywood AU || Musical, Case Fic, Undercover as an Actor, Dancing, Happy Ending, Kidnapping, Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Writer/Director John, Slow Burn / Romance) – A mysterious death on set causes chaos in Stamford productions latest movie. With the premiere date left unchanged, they must find a new lead actor and reshoot an entire movie in two months. Sherlock Holmes goes undercover as a lead actor in a Musical: a juggling act to solve a murder while singing, dancing and charming his way through 1950s Hollywood. The last thing he expected was to fall in love with the screenwriter along the way. Or as I like to call it: the case where Sherlock finally gets to dance.
WORKS IN PROGRESS
Children of the Revolution by BadNewsForBrainWork (E, 7,655+ w., 4/? Ch. || WiP || Moulin Rouge AU || Prostitution, BDSM, Multiple Pairings) –  John is an English writer travelling to the small village of Montmartre in Paris, France is hopes of taking part in the Bohemian Revolution. As soon as he arrives, he gets swept up by the revolutionaries and taken to the Moulin Rouge where he meets Sherlock Holmes. He quickly finds himself caught in a dangerous love triangle that could risk his entire career and maybe even his life.
Wood and Wicker by HardlyFair (M, 14,114+ w., 3/8 Ch. || WW2 Historical AU / Hot Fuzz AU || BAMF John, Case Fic, Secret Societies, Secrets, Romance, Humour, Action, Writer John, Murder Mystery) – 1946. Sandford, England. Following the second World War, Sherlock Holmes accepts an unwanted case far in the English countryside to investigate a string of grisly deaths. Problems arise when it becomes clear that no one thinks anyone has been murdered at all, that nothing outside a series of unfortunate accidents has transpired, and that nothing untoward is afoot in Sandford -- no one, save for a small-time columnist from the local newspaper.
Christmas in Honeycutt by helloliriels (T, 27,950+ w., 14/23 Ch. || WIP || Christmas in Connecticut AU / WWII AU || Kidnapping, Spies / Secret Agents, Codes & Ciphers, Past Relationships, Developing Relationship, Fake Marriage, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) – John's publisher asks if his family could entertain a war hero at their idyllic estate in Somerset for Christmas. Only ... John doesn't have a wife ... or a daughter. Or an estate. He has a bedsit. In London. And some wounds of his own to recover from ... but he can't tell his publisher that or he'll get fired 
 What's a writer to do? Cracking Codes. Super Spies. Sherlock in Disguise. A wild Christmas romance set in the countryside! Just what the doctor ordered! Part 6 of the Liriels Chaptered Fics series
Novel by lifeonmars (M, 50,264+ w., 10/? Ch. || WiP || Author AU || Fairy Tales / Red Riding Hood Elements, Fantasy, Writer’s Block, Falling in Love, Peter Pan References, Slow Burn, Romance, Writer John, Editor Sherlock) – John Watson has writer's block. Sherlock Holmes is the world's best consulting editor. Whether John can write a book is another story entirely.
How Novel Series by StarlightAndFireflies (T, 66,472+ w. across 11 Stories || Series WiP || Writer John / Unilock AU || Book Signing, Flirting, Dating, Shy  Sherlock, Romance, Getting to Know Each Other) – AU in which John is an author, and Sherlock is a fan who comes to his book signing.
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