theannoyingurge

[theannoyingurge]

This person is canonically in bed with the killer. Being dismissed by stupidass protagonists is foreplay to us

"i'd be the final girl" "i'd be the slasher" yeah well i would be the harbinger of doom. you drive by me i'm sitting in a chair at a gas station yelling that you're all going to die. i get an angsty half lit shot to add foreshadowing as i give a dramatic warning that you shouldn't enter this town unless you want to leave it in a body bag.

[theannoyingurge]

[theannoyingurge]

The em dash is the kink you really have to work for — the one that serial killers and gin drinkers have — the one that no text platform apparently recognizes. Copy/paste becomes a daily necessity, and I feel dirty every time — a cheap pretender, stealing someone else's perfect punctuation — unable to ever truly replicate the soul of it in my own work

Introducing the Writer Kinks:

1. The comma (,)

2. The semicolon (;)

3. The em dash (—)

4. The Overused italics

5. The Fragments (Because. Drama.)

6. THE ALL CAPS

7. The Ellipses (...)

Honorable Mentions: Long metaphors, parentheses (bonus thoughts) and repititions.

Because why write a concise sentence when you can string together 37 thoughts into one grammatical monstrosity.

[theannoyingurge]

I love the idea that Gortash and Durge started out playing a game of gay chicken (or gay-adjacent evil overlord chicken, bc Bhaal and Bane definitely had something) and neither of them were willing to lose and the entire pantheon almost collapsed for it

[theannoyingurge]

Okay what is up with people who thrive on hot cheetos and takis but suddenly "don't like spicy food" at dinner time?

Yes I am mostly referring to children. Yes they are my children. Yes I could just ask them. No I will not. These children grow up to be menaces in society and I need to hear it from their final form. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

[theannoyingurge]

thinking about how fallout 4 is 1000% geared towards men but what is more devastating than a new mother who has lost her husband and her child in a single day. what is more powerful than a woman in a completely new world fighting anyone and anything to get her child back. what is more painful than having to destroy the very son you've been desperate to return to. female sole survivor will forever be on top because we've all seen the male war veteran loses his family story. what about the new-mother lawyer who's never experienced war waging it across a world she doesn't even recognize anymore to get her family back together. what about that

[theannoyingurge]

[theannoyingurge]

imagine being orin (already terrible) and passionately orchestrating your kills to worship your father and god with your art and being constantly shit on for it cause “bhaal only cares about quantity” but then hearing your stupid bloodkin flirt with a stupid banite using poetic violence and shit like “oh gortash when you and i are the last living souls we will wed upon my father’s alter and be forever bonded in bloody death” and still be the favorite child like fuck off i’d be so pissed 😭😭😭

[theannoyingurge]

Durge: *Pets the Owlbear Cub *

Owlbear Cub: You smell very delicious, but I won't bite you.

Gale: What a charming and polite creature.

Lae'zel: Its respect of personal boundaries is to be commended.

Shadowheart: How nice it is to have at least one feral little critter in camp with some restraint.

Astarion: *From across camp.* IT WAS ONE TIME!

-----

I have a headcannon that this is an ongoing joke in camp every time the Owlbear Cub gets pets.

BG3 Incorrect Quotes Masterlist

[theannoyingurge]

I can't help but adore that there are not one, not two, but six gods of death in FR lore!

Like...

God of Death

In pretty okay grim reaper way

God of Death

In bloody stabby stab way

God of Death

In dominant daddy bbc way

God of Death

In chaotic stupid bullshit way

God of Death

In fair unbiased judge way

God of Death

In insidious alien insect mummy way

They warms my dark soul in an inexplicable way :3

[theannoyingurge]

love it how cats dilate their pupils to indicate it’s time to be Fucking Stupid. wish i could do that

[theannoyingurge]

«Looking after children is easy»

Post-credits scene in a nutshell >w<

[theannoyingurge]

BG3 Withers dialogue writing resources

Withers seems to be one of the more difficult characters to write in fanfic because of his archaic way of speaking. But since he's pretty significant in the fanfic I'm working on, I've been going through the datamined game transcripts reviewing all of his lines in attempt to synthesize a Withers Style Guide:

Pronouns: "The Basics of Shakespeare Pronouns: Thee, Thy, Thou, Thine, Ye" explains it better than I can (caveat: Withers doesn't use "ye").

Contractions: He almost never uses them. The only examples I could find were I'd (1), ne'er (3), shan't (1), 'til (5), and upon't (1).

Auxiliary verbs: He seems to use them whenever grammatically possible, sometimes with modern spellings (am, are, be, is, must, shall, will) and sometimes with archaic spellings (canst, didst, dost, doth, hast, hast, hath, mayest, needeth, needst, shouldst, wilt, wouldst).

Verb conjugations: The game writers weren't terribly consistent with these, but he tends to conjugate second person singular verbs with -est/-st endings and the third person verbs with -eth/-th endings. He seems to use mostly modern conjugations when speaking in the first person.

Vocabulary: He peppers his speech with dated terminology like bosom companion, cleave, forsooth, pittance, proffer, seneschal, yoke, etc. (Google Books Ngram Viewer is a good tool for checking how dated a term is.)

Verbosity: Withers is generally quite terse. If the rule of thumb for writing Gale is use twice as many words as necessary, then the rule of thumb for writing Withers is to use as few words as possible (with the aforementioned exceptions of no contractions and lots of auxiliary verbs). Or simply have him refuse to elaborate as that is very in-character for him.

Complete corpus: I went through the datamined files and copypasted all of Withers' lines into a Google Doc because I personally find it useful to immerse myself in a single character's voice before attempting to write them. Please note that it includes cut content as well as MAJOR SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING because he narrates the epilogue. I included the file names as headers in case you want to refer back to the datamined dialogue for the context in which he says a particular line.

[theannoyingurge]

Moodboard for my beloved Withers >w<

By the way, when it came to the song, I made the final choice in favor of the "Classics of the post-apocalyptic soundtrack" (which is quite suitable for Jergal as "The Lord of the End of Everything") ... however, there is another option {I'll attach it down below}, not quite suitable for the board in its mood, but in its content ... mmm... the best thing for "The Final Scribe")))

P.S. - While I was playing Death and Taxes, I constantly caught myself thinking that probably what your life would have come if you become the Chosen one (or maybe just a Cleric) of Jergal.

And also - your grandpa is now Lo-Fi… I just couldn't stop myself >w<

[theannoyingurge]

For those curious how long the events of Baldur's Gate 3 take place over, if Karlach dies at the end of the game then in the epilogue Withers will reference her entire life from the moment she escaped Avernus aboard the mindflayer nautiloid in the prologue until the day she died on the docks (the day of the Netherbrain fight) as "a dozen tendays". That's 120 days, or right around four months.

[theannoyingurge]

Withers: Your honor, not only is Bhaal abusive, he doesn't even know what grade his child is in. I put them through paladin school and can name all of their friends.

Bhaal: I will take your blood back and make myself another better Bhaalspawn with it. Withers, ready to leap out of the woodworks:

[theannoyingurge]

Lae'zel is pretty fluent in Common but since she still sometimes messes up some words, I don't believe she understands a third of all the big words Gale uses casually. My headcanon is that she memorizes them during the day and then goes to demand elaborations in the evening, and Gale is very happy to have someone to teach linguistics to.

By the end of the game she can call Vlaakith an pernicious, diminutive old fuck, cut to Gale in her corner wiping away a tear of pride