#i hurt every hurt and im tired | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starlightkun · 1 year ago

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🎶🛌

#i hurt every hurt and im tired #im gonna get ice cream tomorrow if it kills me 😤😤😤#also will probably do word in a wip tomorrow....all strawberry sunday au wips will b fair game #vamp kun...werewolf jeno.......dragon jisung..........every1 #anyway gn yallll.......finally sleep 😴😴😴😴😴#talk #tunes #mine #not nct #ignore.mel #Spotify

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lizzieraindrops · 5 months ago

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You know what, I figured out why we're having so many errors in Destiny 2 now. It's because with the addition of Micah-10, we've finally reached a critical mass of women with drop dead gorgeous voices, and the game simply can't handle it anymore. It's like Telesto. Too powerful. If they'd actually put Ikora Rey in a rendered cutscene for more than 5 seconds it would have shut down the servers for good

#destiny 2 #destiny the game #destiny spoilers #the final shape #the final shape spoilers #micah 10 #ikora rey #eris morn #mara sov #elsie bray #savathûn #we're really quite spoiled for women with amazing voices #you know what we're Not spoiled for?#ikora rey being allowed to be part of the fucking story #look its a fantastic expansion ok.#its just incredibly galling that my least favorite thing is Also happening alongside it.#once again ikora gets shoved out of the limelight in favor of everyone else #gets relegated back to emotional support #is allowed one Tiny outburst of her own hurt feelings only for it to be swept under the rug because there are always Bigger Problems #why didnt we get to hear from ophiuchus?#we got beautiful interactions between every other guardian and their ghost #literally everyone else got a nightmare gauntlet exploring their insecurities and flaws #but no ikora gets to quietly meditate and fail to commune with the traveler #and then cayde gets to contact it instead #all i wanted this expansion was some emotional resolution for ikora #i was so excited after her reunion scene with cayde i was like oh god we're really doing it!#but no. no no.#the sexism of it. the racism of it. the misogynoir #im so tired this has happened in every goddamn fandom ive been in for the past decade #sourghost.jpeg

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apollos-olives · 2 months ago

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i wish i could go home. i've been crying and aching and begging for years. i just want to go home.

#it hurts so bad i really can't take it anymore #im tired of crying every night i just want to go back to ariha and rest

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birdantlers · 25 days ago

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I didnt even know DB Daima dropped bc life shit but @peridotite has informed me that they just casually drop that namekians apparently originate from [checks notes] the demon realm

Yk everyone's favorite and most memorable DBZ setting ..... The Demon Realm .......... ..

#skit yells #me ages ago: man i wish there was more namekian lore stuff in modern db #*monkeys paw curls*#dbz #dragon ball daima #THESE BIFCHES ALL AFRAID #TO MAKE THEM DRAGON FURRIES #i actually had a lore for their species but i cant remember chunks of it rn #too tired #dragon ball z #i just #bro not everything has to be secretly connected fo everything else 😭#nameks are cool and mysterious enouvh on their own just develop the lore within the constraints #it doesn't even make thematic sense to have them be demons like o yeah the pacifist vegan farmers who go to dragon church every sunday #they were demons all along actually #also way to weirdly rob the poignance of piccolo realizing he's not a supernatural force of destruction but just Some Guy #who has free will like anybody else and just had metaphorical generational trauma out the ass #ik this is 30% furry malding but srsly why on earth is a show with dragon in the title so uninterested in dragons 💀 💀#how do you not focus on that very much it's so cool #and theres already lots of unknowns #so to pull new shit outta left field is ://#ok my thumbs hurt now im gonna queue this #goodnight tri state area

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lastoneout · 2 years ago

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I know the answer is "radfems and terfs poisoned the well" but I really wonder when the general direction of modern feminism went from "we can get men who otherwise wouldn't be on our side to change their minds by pointing out that men suffer under the patriarchy too, and that feminism isn't about switching the power balance or replacing the patriarchy with some sort of man-hating matriarchal society, but to destroy the system and harms ALL of us" to "actually I hate men and I think they should suffer and I should get to be a huge asshole to them 24/7 because I'm a woman and letting me be a horrid bitch to half the population with no regard for intersectionality is justice actually"

I just hate seeing how much terfs and radfems have completely fucked up entire branches of important conversations with their bullshit and knowing how it's not only hurting trans women, it's hurting ALL OF US and it's exhausting to constantly remind people of all the other radfem and terf dogwhistles only to see them getting spread around again and again disguised as progress

#Im so tired of immediately thinking 'that's probably a radfem' every time I see posts about misogyny and feminism #we need to have these conversations and we just fucking CAN'T anymore #like we gotta be good allies to trans women but we also need to remeber that they arent the only people terfs are hurting #and that terfs and radfems are very good at disguising their rhetoric as actual progressive ideas #that's why you see so many feminists who actually do care about women's rights #turn into terfs and radfems #bcs they're that good at indoctrinating people so long as they don't lead with the hating trans people stuff

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ummmuhhidk · 3 months ago

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girl help im trying to fight the urge to consume problematic media

#at least i think its problematic? people on tiktok have said so a while ago #anyways.#wanna know what it is #its #ranfren #so uh tell me what to do #in the notes #do i consume the media and get weird or do i go on w/ life #the urge grows stronger every day and im fighting for my LIFEEEEE here #ok im done rambling. post #nevermind im not done ramblkng . im back bitches. i lived #i have the urge to scream just a little bit #the longer i go trying to suppress the interest the more it keeps fuckin me up #its like oobleck but worse and also can shape itself into something that hurts #like if oobleck had fists #the more pressue i put on it the more pressure kt puts on me #FUCKIN VOODOO OOBLECK #VOOBLECK??#voobleck #or voodoobleck??????#im not choosin. callkn g it both instead #anyways i have the song california gurls stuck in my head and its 4:21am and jm tired goodnihjt eveeyone hgnzghrfngzzzzzzhzhhhzhznzmmzbzz #snork mimimimimi #honk shoo honk shoo #etc.#gnightm everjlnhye #california girls were unforgettable daisy dukes bikinis on top syn kissed skin so hot well melt ur popsicle uouou o uououo #clifornia girls weee undeniable fune fresh fiefde ww got it ln loxk weat coast eepewse t how mur youy hand up uouou o uououo #etc. etc. yeag goodnight

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kaisollisto · 11 days ago

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#tko_art #hahah wrong eye shape #hers is more droopy and less awakey #wow colors suck #really hard #but i've noticed it doesn't feel like my brain is going to explode everytime I try to determine color and values #i kind of got too tired and wanted to giv eup so no tear drop #which made me sad because i did want to try that #but back hurts #gotta go to bed to fight god tomorrow/today #i love rendering skin tones #they're so much fun #lovely love #I have accidentally locked in #suddenly every single moment of time that i'm not spending to do art is unappealing and so damaging #i'm psyching myself out of doing things I know will give me instant gratification and will make me pretty happy for whattttttttt #it's kinda depressing #If i think about it too hard it's just a constant cycle of oh god this is it for the rest of my life #so no thinking it is!#blegh this seems so silly and trivial #i hope nobody reads this shit #i'd have to kill myself or something #im never gonna stop thinking about how i didnt say i loved you back #and it haunts me #and i cant stop thinking about what u said to me #and even tho u didnt say it harshly i cant stop my mind from running away from me #and theres something horribly wrong with me that i need to gouge out #i hope u never read this #i didnt want to be (x) how fucked up is that #i wish i wasnt like this i wish i didnt have to learn how to live with trauma i wish i was normal

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bondagebimbo · 7 days ago

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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.

and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠

I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.

I’m just. I give up.

this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭

#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive #half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass #NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone #but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her #all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed #just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one #like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no #leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate #of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it #like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for #oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow #and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks #towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else #I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey #and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense #I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too #I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted #to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest #and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long #fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest #for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days

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napping-sapphic · 1 year ago

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God i’m thinking about how easily and unknowingly strangers can grant you salvation like i found it in how my old classmate told me once that i was a kind person and it was the first time i’d ever believed it

in how a coworker once said that i always seem so happy and have a nice smile and i cried about it when i got home since i’d always been told i seem too serious or mean

in how someone once told me i was good at comforting them when i’d always thought i was bad at it

Just god they’re out there somewhere and i barely remember what they looked like and we’ll never cross paths again but they changed me so deeply, they’re out there but they’ll never know how often i revisit those memories and think of myself even just a little more kindly they’re out there and i don’t know them but they’re the most important people in the world to me somehow

#me?? having a Night™️?? more likely than you’d think #im missing the people i never really knew #and im stuck echoing their words to myself #it’s honestly so important to hear things from people who don’t have an agenda to hurt you #who didn’t form a perspective of you at 14 and never let it go #i dont know #it’s just insane how badly ive always felt about myself #how inherently true i thought it was that i was mean or cold or unlikeable #only to have so many people tell me differently the past few years #and i still feel so mean and cold and unlikeable so often because of the people close to me!!#and i probably will forever to some extent!!#and it’s such an awful feeling #but just knowing even one person saw me as kind or happy is such a balm to that pain #that even if every person i meet from here on out found me flawed #there was at least one that saw kindness and joy in me?? that’s healing #idk #idk im emotional and tired and just want to believe i can be a good person sometimes #and sometimes i feel like that one ‘you’re so nice’ i received three years ago is the only thing holding me together sometimes #god just ignore me

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tamagotchikgs · 11 days ago

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i hate my face it needs to be softer and i hate my body it needs to be sharper

#there is nothing in the world i wished i had more than a smaller/rounder nose #why is that thang genuinely V #<#>#^#every direction sniffin #i want to bury my face in things and not impale them #i hate the way it looks when i smile #somehow it gets even bigger #and more downturned #and my body well . at least thats easier 2 change #im so hyper aware of how much i weigh i hate the number being known it makes me want to cry i feel too exposed #its like it being a secret keeps me safe #even though everyone can see my body anyway #if i just have that then im safe no one can hurt me #what if the number makes them see me differently #what if it changes the way i look in their eyes like it does in mine #what if the dysmorphia streaks out past just me #i know its stupid n realistically it doesnt matter at all but i am so Scared i am terrified #i hate my ed i hate everything it holds over me all the time everyday #every time i look at myself im different #n im worse #and no matter how much i suffer its never happy #im so sick rn im in pain but all i can think about is at least im not eating at least its stopping me from eating #i just want to be different i want to be anything else #i feel like im always going 2 be stuck as the grossest thing in the world #ill never get the chance to look at myself n see anything but that #i want to be better. i do. i want to just move on #im so tired. but im So awful looking. & everyone has always made sure i know it. made sure im lesser and i am #ive never had a real friend. theyve always hated me n kept be barely around because they feel bad for me. n just told me how bad i looked

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orlesianhennin · 1 month ago

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I am actually Very Concerned now about how they are going to handle the Inquisitor in so many ways, mainly because I do not just want two cookie-cutter attitudes towards Solas... like if your Inquisitor was an f!Lavellan and romanced him are her two settings going to be either Still Pining After All These Years or Woman Scorned and Out for Revenge...?

#my f!lavellan is OVER him! totally apathetic towards him romantically now she is at peace... i dont want her to be reduced to either falling #over herself and forlornly glancing at him #or in the alternative being the He Is Irredeemable Bc He Hurt Me type like ugh #perhaps the complexity of where my solavellan left off could never be adequately portrayed so i am going to be disappointed regardless #my m!lavellan tho... he has pined for his best friend every day since losing him.#dorian is tired of hearing about this bald badly dressed man #i think i need some kind of tag for my own characters but im not good at this yet so i'll talk to myself in tags

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foreverxdaydreaming · 1 month ago

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