#but when it happens every time or if conversation never starts unless i do its different

[jojo-the-puppy]

i think im officially done trying to keep in touch with people who dont try ever

[starcurtain]

Teyvat's "Most Down Bad" Award Goes to Alhaitham for a Second Year Running

Seeing everyone making fun of Alhaitham for his "stalkerish" tendencies in this event is funny, because I feel like a lot of people missed that "Be literally everywhere Kaveh is" has been Alhaitham's MO from the day Kaveh appeared in the game.

From only grabbing his house keys after Kaveh returned from the desert (he couldn't have had both sets of keys at the end of the Archon Quest unless he went home and got Kaveh's copy) to ditching conversations to get back to his house only after Kaveh came home, to showing up without any warning or explanation in Kaveh's hangout with some ridiculous excuse about hearing his voice through noise-cancelling headphones... Refusing to offer any help in the Temple of Silence story quest other than staying in the library with Kaveh...

Since when does Alhaitham willingly cover anyone else's duties?

But this trend of "Be everywhere Kaveh is" didn't start when they were adults. It was already in place when they were still Akademiya students--and it's a trend that didn't end even when they had their fight.

Even when they weren't speaking, Alhaitham dogged Kaveh's every step through published responses to Kaveh's research articles in academic journals. He insisted on keeping a line of communication between himself and Kaveh open, even if the only way to do that was through very public ideological clashes. Pulling Kaveh's pigtails to get his attention lolol. It's implied that, for at least the few years between their fight and Kaveh moving in, this was the only communication between them--Alhaitham's refusal to allow their connection to entirely fade away. (And the fact that this is revealed in Kaveh's character stories--through his precious journal that records the moments of his life that had the most impact on him--shows just how deeply he values the fact that Alhaitham didn't give up.)

Another relevant side note: Alhaitham never asked Kaveh to give up his half of their house. Knowing half of it belonged to Kaveh, knowing that Kaveh may one day want to reclaim his part of it, knowing that it was listed as theirs, Alhaitham moved into the house and made zero effort to change its ownership. He was completely fine with living in "his and Kaveh's house." The stories suggest it was only months later (or even longer) that Kaveh even noticed he had the house, and he transferred away ownership of his portion without Alhaitham ever asking him (or even seemingly wanting him) to do so.

Please, let that sink in. Alhaitham actively left his grandmother's (presumably comfortable) house to move into "his and Kaveh's house," with no apparent explanation for why, and after doing so, he made no attempt to change that "his and Kaveh's" label. He moved into the house with no promise that Kaveh wouldn't show up on the doorstep the very next day and move in too. It almost feels like another deliberate provocation--I've moved into our house, are you going to come stop me? LBR, if Alhaitham had had his way, Kaveh would have been living there with him from Day 1...

There's also the fact that Kaveh literally can't write on a single message board anywhere in the entire nation of Sumeru without Alhaitham hunting his messages down and responding to them (which absolutely no one else does, by the way).

"NUH-UH!" "UH-HUH." "NUH-UH!"

Alhaitham's own character stories tell us explicitly that one of Alhaitham's defining character traits is "He is never where you need him to be," yet somehow...

Shot, and chaser:

Any time Kaveh is in the slightest bit of need or danger or just wants Alhaitham near, Alhaitham is "coincidentally" exactly where Kaveh needs him to be, whenever Kaveh needs him to be there.

Alhaitham didn't just "happen" to run into Kaveh in Port Ormos, an entirely different city from where he was supposed to be working. He didn't just "happen" to read the same terrible book as Kaveh when we know he otherwise would not waste a moment of his time on poorly-written literature...

He didn't just "happen" to appear when Kaveh was upset and needed a distraction in the House of Daena during Kaveh's hangout. He didn't just "happen" to be sitting around waiting when Kaveh needed answers after the Archon Quest. He didn't just "happen" to find Kaveh's academic publications and every single message board posting and respond to them at length and in public.

Which is exactly what Kaveh's mother told Kaveh he needed.

What level of down bad is "Abusing your powers as an Akademiya employee to keep tabs on your crush's library loans"? Just asking for a friend.

The only person for whom Alhaitham just "happens" to be available is Kaveh, over and over and over again--because he is very deliberately making himself a constant presence in Kaveh's life.

(Like, out of all things, I think people really underestimate the devs deliberately paralleling the romantic relationship between Kaveh's mother and father with Kaveh and Alhaitham's relationship. If you want to point to one thing that says "These two characters are intentionally queer-coded," it doesn't get any more obvious than this.)

Alhaitham, are you not embarrassed to be this transparent??? 🫣

[yanderefarm]

yandere crime lord x sadistic male reader

cw;; torture, burn wounds, blood, gore, stockholm syndrome, yandere, drugs, kidnapping, murder, smoking, cruel reader

here he is.... my most fucked up bby girl. i wrote this a little differently than the others... i had a different vibe in mind.

achilles is the eldest son of a notorious mob family, the second most powerful in charge right under his father. he makes lots of big decisions, like his recent attempts to take over a smaller gang with cruelty and force. unfortunately being a sexy big shot comes with its own little vices, achilles likes smoking for instance. nasty habit especially for someone in his position, doesn't he realize how vulnerable he is when he's taking a smoke break? so easy for you to drug.

you flick some of the cigarette ash towards the man in question. he's on his knees arms tied behind his back and duct tape over his mouth. he keeps shooting you dirty looks. it's funny.

"such a waste..."

you run a red room service on the dark web. essentially, anyone with enough money can hire you to kidnap and torture whoever they want. some people hire you to make elaborate snuff videos with their desires all written out for you, other people let you and your audience decide what kind of torture would take place over your live streams. that's where the handsome man in front of you came from, the gang he'd been destroying had bought your services.

you had already explained that to him, as well as mocked him for his cigarette habit. now you were letting one of the cigarettes burn before your stream actually started, you didn't actually smoke it choosing instead to let him watch you waste it. his scowl was hot.

his screams were hotter. the first hour in, you had him covered in cigarette burns and his stomach flinching away from your touch. the second hour in, he had multiple gashes all over his trembling body. the third hour in, he had finally started to sob and his body was covered in lovely bruises.

"sorry guys, we can't kill him yet. but that means we get a toy for a little while!" you gripped his hair and brought his tear stained face up to the camera. "say goodbye to our friend!"

and that ended your first stream with your new toy. you cleaned him up and brought him to his new room.

"you'll probably be the show tomorrow unless I get another job. eat up." you gave him a nice dinner and pulled the duct tape off his mouth.

"... when will I die?"

"dunno. good work chilles, sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

that's how it began. the guy ended up being your show about half the week for the next two months. never enough to kill him and every day you cleaned up his wounds and took good care of him. he never cursed you or complained about his place he would ask you questions and thank you for the food. it was pleasant conversation, he was a nice companion in your otherwise drab life.

it was halfway into the third month when you got news that those gang members who hired you were dead. you'd been waiting the whole time for them to pay for you to kill achilles and now it was never coming. at least you made good money from your streams in the meantime.

"you're free to go." you stood in the doorway of achilles's room.

his eyes looked at you, slowly widening as he realized what you said. "wh.. why?"

"m gonna drug you up and drop you in front of your house. you won't know where you were but I'd really appreciate if you didn't try to come after me at all. "

"why are you letting me go? did something happen?"

"you should quit smoking by the way. maybe i won't be able to get you-"

you saw something in his eyes snap. those eyes that had been practically blank the whole time even when the torture made him lose his voice from screaming. now they were dark and hazy, significantly more threatening than he'd been before. he crawled on his hands and knees to your leg and looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

"why....? am i not.. did i do it wrong? i can be a good toy."

you were caught off guard by his reaction. "uh... well uh the guys who hired me like... they died without paying me to kill you. so like... i don't have a reason to keep you?"

"how much?"

"huh??"

"how much do you need to keep me?"

you reached down and gently carded your hand through his hair. "you don't want to stay here, dumbass."

"yes I do." he nuzzled his head into your hand.

"you really want to stay here and get tortured until you die? use your brain."

his darkened eyes looked up at you with the most pathetic look. "i want to stay with you."

"fuck" he's cute? he's cute. "ok...jesus, lets do this. you go home, get reunited with your family, try to get back to normal life. and I'll contact you so if you still want to be LITERALLY tortured over living your normal life I'll bring you back. ok?"

"you'll actually come get me, right?"

"yeah. I'll get you and I won't even make you pay."

"I'll be back soon." he rubbed his head against your leg. "please get your favorite tools ready."

[thesummerstorms]

You know that conversation you can have with Emmrich where he asks what your plans are for your body when you die?

I think Arsinoë accidentally horrified him. Not by clinging to non-Nevarran ideals about cremation, but by telling him she never thought anyone would care that much one way or the other.

She would be dead, so she wouldn't care. And honestly, a majority of compradi die as Fledglings without graduating; she thinks their bodies were probably burned (since you have to do something with bodies) but they certainly don't have funerals, so it certainly wasn't worth worrying about then.

Emmrich interjects, trying to wrangle his own shock long enough to point out that she's not a Fledgling now, so surely...?

Well if she dies now, Arsinoë all but shrugs, it would depend on the circumstances, wouldn't it? She isn't someone important like a Talon or the scion of an established Crow family. She certainly isn't Caterina Dellamorte, who warrants something verging on a State Funeral.

If she died, there is still a non-zero chance it would be at another Crow's hands, in which case it's anyone's guess what happens after.

If she dies honorably fulfilling a contract, then Viago might feel obligated to do something if he isn't pissed off at her failure and she's isn't still in Exile. He's her mentor, so probably he would manage at least a small pyre. Maybe even a flower or two for the flames if he's letting himself feel sentimental. Teia would probably be there because Viago was.

But just as often, when a contract goes wrong, there's no time to go back for the body. The mark get ahold of it, or whoever's left on the contract has to focus on survival rather than the dignity of a corpse that can't feel any of it.

But really, none of that would matter to Arsinoë, would it? She'd be off wherever dead souls end up going, or maybe in oblivion, who knows. She doesn't have any family to be horrified by her corpse unless you count Viago, who is Fifth Talon, has bigger things to worry about, and will get over it.

But anyway, why do you ask, Emmrich?

Emmrich is too aghast to answer clearly at that point because every single point of Arsinoë's answer goes so deeply against everything that is ingrained in him as part of the Mourn Watch, from the belief that a corpse just doesn't matter to her sincere belief that no one would care enough about her for any particular mourning rights.

And the thing is Emmrich does care. It's his professional duty to care, but he's also become fond of his young friend and he cannot handle imagining that she could die on this mission or the next and potentially receive no rites at all.

Cue Emmrich starting to plan how he's going to have Rook interred in the Grand Necropolis when the time comes. It may involve some string pulling, especially if (hopefully) she dies not on this mission but in the distant future, and even more so if he precedes her and has to leave the job in one of his colleague's hands. But Maker help him, there will be a plan and her death will be respected.

When it comes to light, Neve is uncertain and a little weirded out, but also a little offended by all this. She's fallen in love with Rook, but even before that, the respect between them would have warranted a pyre and Arsinoë's name on the Wall of Light if there was no one else to arrange things. Is this why she's never asked about what happened after Varric-

Lucanis is horrified by the idea of Arsinoë as one of the spirit-possessed skeletons in the Necropolis or one of the jewel-eyed skulls in its many niches; he snaps at Emmrich about Nevarran obsession and respecting Rook as Antivan.

Emmrich refuses to budge. She expected the Crows to do nothing for her. She deserves better, deserves to be remembered, even if she isn't Nevarran.

Lucanis seems fully stunned by the idea that Rook believed this in the first place, given Viago's attachment. Given Lucanis's own growing feelings. Emmrich does soften a little bit when he sees that Lucanis truly didn't realize, but he also doesn't fully divert his plans.

Gathering a grave-dowry is normally left to a lover or family member if the deceased was themselves unable, and Emmrich is neither. But needs must, and though his friend now seems attached to Neve and Lucanis, hearts can be fickle. A plan is better. So he puts away small things here or there, eyes which of Rook's enchanted rings and amulets she seems to favor just in case.

It almost helps him live with the knowledge that Arsinoë believed she would die unmourned. Almost.

[daddyfordaeddy]

Pairing: werewolf! Yunho x f! yn (you can imagine yn as any species, she's kept ambiguous)

Word Count: 1910

Warnings: cursing, smut warnings under cut

Genre: Fluff, smut, supernatural au, werewolf au, E for explicit

Summary: On the week of the solstice, Yunho's rut starts.

Written for @cultofdionysusnet’s winter solstice event <3 took me a bit to get it down lol, and a big thank you to @sanjoongie for beta'ing hehehehehe <3 love u bae

Smut Warnings: unprotected sex (DONT DO THIS unless you discuss safely outside of sex!), praise, degredation, cum play, breast play, lactation kink (guys ignore the science behind it), knotting, breeding kink, overstimulation, subspace (i think it falls under it), creampie, multiple rounds, pet names

I've never written a werewolf au before so i hope its good <3

-

You perk up at the sound of the door opening, hearing the tell-tale signs of your boyfriend jingling his house keys as he hangs up his coat. “Yunho, you’re home early,” you call out, finishing up washing your lunch plates and wiping your hands. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong, my love,” Yunho responds, his voice liting. You know the sound well—his pre-rut is starting and you’re sure he’s hard in his pants. “I just got sent home because I started my pre-rut early. Must be the solstice.”

Bingo. The week of the winter solstice is when the werewolves’ inner selves are their strongest, and schedules are thrown off every year. You’ve been quite excited for this year’s solstice rut—the last two Yunho wasn’t comfortable enough sharing that side with you and after long discussions, it will be the first time you spend it with him.

You take a deep breath in before coming around the corner to properly greet your boyfriend, unwilling to make him feel pressured by your eagerness. “Do you want something to eat?” you ask as you wrap your arms around him and tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek. “I can make you the beef we have in the freezer.”

Yunho shakes his head, letting it drop to your shoulder. He takes a deep breath in, enjoying the scent of your body wash. “No, not right now,” he sighs through his nose. “I need a moment. You– you smell good.”

You open your mouth to say something but your breath catches in your throat as you feel his growing hardness against your hip. You knew his dick was big, but…it feels…bigger. Subconsciously, you squeeze your thighs together.

“YN.”

Yunho’s voice breaks you out of your fantasies. “Ah– yes?”

“Are you ready?” His voice is strained and you cock your head, confused. His eyes are dark and he licks his lips, neck veins popping as he holds himself back. “Coming home didn’t help with my pre-rut. You smell too good. Too fertile. I need you and I need you to tell me yes or no now before I lose control.”

“Fertile?” Your eyes widen more and you only vaguely remember a conversation held a while ago when Yunho warned you that in his solstice-rut, his wild instincts take over more so than usual and he will be saying and doing some out-of-pocket things. And somehow, it only serves to make heat sear in your core.

“Answer me, YN.” Yunho’s voice dips and your arms tighten around his waist.

“Yes.”

-

Teeth sink into your neck and your hands scrabble to grip at Yunho’s back, scratching down the skin. You’re sure there will be marks when the morning comes, not that it would bother him at all.

“Shit– Yunho–” you moan, back arching as your boyfriend drives his thick, throbbing cock deep inside you. “Fuck–”

You can hardly get a word out without Yunho rearranging your guts with every thrust. You should’ve known this was bound to happen, with the winter’s solstice landing on a full moon, and in turn, the werewolf’s rut landing on the week of the solstice. Not that you’re complaining about how perfectly Yunho nails each thrust into you.

“Look at you, lying there so perfect for me,” Yunho groans into your neck where he has been littering bite marks all over your skin. You’re sure if anyone who didn’t know the both of you saw it, they’d be worried for your safety. But the deep purple marks only serve to make you proud of your boyfriend. “Letting me use your sloppy pussy to my heart's desire like the whore you are.”

Not a thought exists in your brain as Yunho bites down on the junction between your neck and shoulder, where the old scarring from his mating bite sits. You’re pretty sure you’re melting into the sheets as he grabs your waist and moves you up and down on his twitching member like a ragdoll.

Come spills out of you so easily but Yunho doesn’t stop, just fucking it back into you and letting it foam up around the base of his cock where his knot is slowly growing.

You can’t even count how many orgasms you’ve had at this point, every time you think you can’t, Yunho somehow manages to drag one after another out of your body. The only thing you can feel is Yunho’s cock pounding into you at an unforgiving pace, stretching you out so deliciously.

Your boyfriend has come a couple of times too, your thighs and pussy lips coated in the sticky white substance, but he still hasn’t popped his knot and you know this isn’t going to end until he does. With a groan, you try to shift up, but the bite he has on your skin increases and his hands grip your hips even tighter. “Ah–” you moan, sinking back onto the pillow. You can feel pleasure roll in your stomach and your cunt clench, and you know you’re on the brink of your nth orgasm of the night.

“Fuck, you’re squeezing me so tight,” Yunho whines in your ear, his thrusts erratic and you can feel the base of his cock swelling. “You’re going to look so pretty carrying my pups, all round and perfect for me. God, I’d fuck you over and over just for you to carry my babies. My little cumdump.”

You moan, his words pushing you over to your next orgasm and you throw your head back in a silent scream. You swear your vision goes white and you can hardly hear anything as your hips and cunt convulse. Through your high, you can vaguely feel Yunho still snapping his hips into you as he moans against your neck.

And just as you come down, you feel him push his thick knot inside you, stretching out your walls even further. As soon as it pops in, you can feel him shudder and his dick twitch as searing come fills you up so full. “Shit–” you groan, grinding down subconsciously at the feeling. “Your knot is so big inside of me, baby.”

Yunho groans, thrusting as much as he can, the slightest bit of cum leaking out around his hard cock. Your thighs are burning but you can hardly feel it, just another addition to the pleasure slowly building once again. You’re not quite sure how much more you can take, but you don’t mind finding out.

Before you can think too much more, Yunho’s mouth travels down until he reaches your chest, taking one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking gently on it. “Oh–” you gasp, squeezing your eyes shut at the sparks it sends straight to your core. The way he flicks his tongue around the bud makes you shiver and your hands come up to grasp at the soft strands of his hair.

“These tits are so perfect, God,” Yunho groans around the mound of flesh. “Taste so perfect for me. Look at you baby, I’m affecting you so much in my rut you’re making milk, huh.”

Your eyes widen and they trail down your body to see the milky liquid trickling out of your nipples. “Yun–”

“Hush and let me taste you some more,” Yunho groans, dipping his head to capture your breast in his mouth again.

His voice is deeper than the ocean, rough around the edges, and it sends vibrations through your body. The grip he has on your hips tightens even further and you’re sure you’ll have bruises blooming in no time. Without warning, he bites down on your sensitive nipples and you squeal, fingers pulling at his hair as your cunt grips down on his cock. Without mercy, his fingers immediately come up to play with your unattended nipple, rolling the bud between the digits. You can feel milk streaming out of it and you moan.

“Yunho, please,” you don’t know what you’re begging for, and Yunho chuckles.

“So needy for me again, slut,” he hums around your breast, sharp teeth scraping the skin gently.

You open your mouth to complain, but before any words can come out, you feel a great pressure on your pussy and with a pop Yunho pulls his knot out. “Fuck!” His hips have been slowly grinding into you, knot deflating bit by bit, but it was still big enough to sting when he pulled it out carelessly. But the pain is what you absolutely adore and your mouth drops open as he leaves the tip of his cock in your hole.

It’s still pumping come into you slowly, but with how loose you are after that fucking, you can feel his come pouring out of you. You try to squeeze your legs together to stop the flow and keep the full feeling, but your legs are too jelly to even curl your toes. Yunho just chuckles, bringing the hand down that was playing with your breast to lazily press his come back into you, as well as the milk clinging to his fingers.

“God, you don’t understand how much I want to taste you right now,” Yunho growls, his cock twitching again. “But keeping you nice and full and stuffed is my top priority. Fill you with my pups and keep your tits full.”

Before you can say or do anything again, he slowly pushes his dick back in your wet heat, his knot popping back inside you with ease. Your body is hardly able to react, soft moans and whines spilling out of your mouth.

As Yunho smirks down at you, he scoops up the leftover come on your walls and brings his fingers to his mouth, licking off the sticky remains. “Fuck, you taste just how I dreamed of,” he sighs, eyes fluttering shut as he flashes his sharp canines. “Really should keep you warm and pregnant for me—you’re so impossible, YN. I don’t know how the fuck you do this to me.”

You don’t think he even knows what he’s saying, too drunk on the winter solstice’s power to fully comprehend what he’s saying. You can’t get pregnant from him right now anyways, the birth control you use specifically for multi-species relationships. Plus, his come doesn’t have the right potency until the full moon and there’s no way in hell you’re letting that monstrous cock near you (although you dream about it).

Your thoughts are cast away as Yunho’s hands come up to fondle your breasts again, causing more milk to leak out and he immediately dips his head down to suck at your peaked nipples. “Yunho,” you breathe out, no energy to call out his name even louder, “please.”

The ache of your body is finally hitting you and you’re limp on the stained sheets. The haze in Yunho’s eyes clear up a little and he shifts, keeping his cock in you but slowing his grinding. “You’re so sweet for me, YN, letting me use you like this. You can sleep if you want, I need the knot to go down anyway.” His large hands leave your breasts to brush strands of hair away from your sweaty face. “I’ll wake you up for dinner,” he hums, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead.

Exhaustion takes over your body and you feel your eyes flutter shut as Yunho continues to stroke your hair. “I love you, puppy,” you mumble, halfway to sleep already.

“I love you too, my moon.”

[swampstew]

Ok so I am basing this ask off this post:

https://www.tumblr.com/stuckinthewrongworld/754204449503870976?source=share

Could you do this with Law, Kid, and/ or Zoro please? You guys have some fun, but have to go your separate ways for a little bit, but end up in the same place again just a few months later. You've been so busy, you haven't noticed the changes to your body, only that you're more tired, but you think it's just because of everything you've had to accomplish. But he notices right away, because he remembered every little detail about you. Maybe your shirt lifts up and he notices? Or you have a tight fitting shirt on? Idk I'm so in love with this concept I NEED to read it!

-🐍

Hebi the way I had to be on life support for this....the way my uterus was like ok time to be a problem since my womb is empty from this...I could only knock out (HAHAHAHAHA) one for Kid but I plan to repost it along with Law and Zoro's POVs at a later time. Brain only light up for Punk tonight.

Summary: You have a casual relationship with Eustass Kid, a here and there type of thing. At least that's how it felt on your end. You didn't know he felt about you, the way he sees you, the way he wants you. No matter what. No bumps in the road can sway him. CW: Eustass Kid x F Reader, accidental pregnancy scenario - something short and sweet based off this post | no actual smut, all fluff and tenderness from someone so brash and violent

Kid clocks it right away. He’s so eager when he sees you, finding you on the dock instantly, and the first thing he notices are the dark circles under your eyes and your breasts look particularly perky in your top. He makes himself known, to your surprise, pulling you into a giant hug and asks you if you’re ok.

You tell him you’re just tired from work and your social battery was pretty much drained all the time, but you are happy to see him again. His hand traces your sallow cheeks as you tell him what you’ve been up to before he decides he’s going to carry you to the nearest food stall to get you both something to eat. He holds you while you hold the bags of food, cradled against his muscular chest as he takes long, impatient strides to your home. He’s going to get to the bottom of this and he wants to do it without his crew hovering.

He tells you about his adventures while you eat, if it can be called eating since you a few bites before you looked queasy, abandoning your plate and drinking ginger ale instead. Kid pushes his plate away and brings you to your feet, bringing you to his chest as he his hands gently caress your hips.

“I’ve been gone for a while now. Has anything happened?”

“Hm? Aside from taking on more work to pass the time, not really.”

“Nothing at all? Its been three months since we saw each other.”

“What are you getting at?” you ask irately, not liking the implication of his question.

Kid turns your body so your back is resting against his torso, metal hand holding you in place while his flesh fingers spread across your lower belly. The slow strokes made goosebumps erupt along your soft skin.

“You definitely didn’t have this last time…”

“ARE YOU CALLING ME F—?!” your yell is cut off as he covered your mouth.

“Y/N! Do the math!”

When your body starts trembling, he knows you made the connection and swiftly picks you up and takes you to your bed. Waiting to see if you would start the conversation.

“We never talked about an accident like this,” you whisper.

“No, so what are we going to do?”

“We?”

“Well…yeah. Unless you don’t want me involved…”

“I-I think I want too…but…sigh…I wouldn’t expect you to stay,” you whisper.

“You’re right I wouldn’t” he snorts, “Cause I’m taking you with me, idiot. No way in hell I’m letting you do this alone.”

[lambouillet]

LAST UPDATED ON: january/22/2025

─⪼ FIORE ☦ they/them ☦ Young Adult ☦ artist, worldbuilder and maybe game concept artist : ^ )

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I unfortunately can't realistically tag all of my posts with trigger warnings but the ones that you'll have to look out for and that'll appear often (but aren't necessarily explicit) are: Gore, Religious imagery, Religious abuse, Decapitation, Child death, Animal death, Suicide, Body horror, pregnancy horror(implied), self harm, and nudity.

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Don't send me personal discourse. If you have a problem with another user It should be dealt with privately. In no way am I ever going to be in a position where I can give you an answer for this. Remember, I am just a random guy, on the web!

related but slightly unrelated, I will block people freely, whether you've done the above or not, that's just how I like to curate what I see and I do it very often. It's not personal don't take it as such

( continued from above and general PSA ) I don't sanitize, neither do I aim to be gratuitous about any of the topics in my work. These things may be something that has happened to me, or someone else in the community I've lived in, as lurid as I talk about them are, know that they all come from a place of empathy which is why they're very important to me. If you approach with a bad faith assumption that I condone certain things because I don't view it as soft as most do, or that I'm willing to indulge in whatever depravity you have because I mention things as I see they are, don't bother engaging.

I encourage you to reconstruct your thinking if you view everything in the lense of fandom and think twice when you're interacting with people you don't know because you may come off as insensitive especially towards survivors.

Otherwise, everything else is free reign (unless I say so) go nuts, insane even.

📨DMS

Anyone can dm! askbox rules still apply. Can't guarantee that I'll reply back if the conversation starts with just a "Hi" or "How are you" though. I'd really only prefer you message me if there's something to tell or I've done something to elicit you to do so.

ART RELATED

🎁Can I make Fanart/Fanfics of your au/ocs?

Ofcourse! Absolutely! You don't even need to ask! Only thing I'll ask of you though is for you to tag me in them so I can see them... These will always guarantee a smile on my face.

🎭can I use your art as a pfp/post it to Pinterest?

I'd rather you not use my art for anything unless you've had my permission or its art I made for you! Definitely don't post it around other places without my knowledge. I don't have any other active socials besides here and probably bluesky under Fiomeras ( that i ought to post more on, weh )

🎨🖌️Program and brushes

I use Clip studio paint for most of my art and Aseprite every once in a while.

I change what I use sporadically so I can't give you a proper answer on EVERY brush I use but here are my frequent ones are:

Shockgrunge Marker and Pencil

Kasuy MK sploon

Tacodemuerte Mrsplotchy

Scribbly Dark

Jarijari

Bathylychnops Brushes

Intoxicate set

[leiascully]

A fic I’ve wondered about…Mulder and Scully actually going to a movie together. Mostly because one of them lost a bet and has to go with the other to a movie of their choice. This happens early on in the partnership…Mulder makes Scully go to Jurassic Park. She nit picks the hell out of the science. So he, in a show of attempting to even the balance - he makes out he’s doing her a favour when really he just likes going out anywhere with Scully - he lets her pick the next one. She picks Sleepless in Seattle. The conversation after that one could lead….anywhere 🥰

Hmm, yes, excellent. I hope you wanted 2000 words of silliness because that's what's under the cut.

There’s a tap on her motel door. Scully twitches the curtains aside. It’s Mulder, slouching in jeans and a white t-shirt, looking like someone posed him against the background of lush summer green. She unhitches the chain and lets him in. Sticky-hot air rolls in after him, a humid swirl of honeysuckle and cut grass.

“How’s the report?”

She sighs and takes off her glasses. “The report is finished.” There wasn’t much to report, in the end: small town secrets, black light ghosts. All the evidence was there from the start, but the sheriff’s nephew was never going to be charged unless someone else stepped in. The only surprise was the support he got from the valedictorian, concocting hallucinogens in the high school chemistry lab. Then again, as a former nerdy teen girl, Scully understands the allure of the quarterback. Social cohesion is a powerful force. Maybe even more than broad shoulders, the girl was attracted to the idea of revenge.

Mulder, naturally, was blithely wry about it all. He’ll probably publish some esoteric paper on it in one of those poorly credentialed paranormal journals: the monstrous manifestation of adolescence, or something about the American tendency to manufacture visible hauntings as a way to deal with the invisible buried history of colonized land.

There are worse ways he could spend a Saturday night. At least he’s less likely to end up in the hospital.

“Dinner and a show?” he asks. “Since our flight isn’t until tomorrow morning.”

“In this town?” She crosses her arms, skeptical.

He produces two movie tickets. “Jurassic Park. Have you seen it yet?”

“I was going to go with my friend Ellen this weekend, but….” She shrugs. They’re here instead, chasing ghosts. “I think she went with her new boyfriend.”

“Got a purse?”

She pats around for it and finds it in a chair. “Yes, why?”

His eyes twinkle. “I said dinner and a show, Scully. Do you know how many McDonald’s hamburgers I can fit in a purse?”

“Mulder, no. I like this purse.” She clutches it to her. “Surely chicken nuggets would be easier.”

“You don’t want to be reminded of this night by a waft of eau de pickle every time you reach for your wallet?” Mulder’s grinning at her. She can’t resist him when he’s like this. Maybe it’s the lonely teen girl in her, the echo of jockishness in the set of his shoulders. He chooses her, patting the seat next to him at the metaphorical lunch table. Besides, he’s already bought the tickets.

“You’re carrying the ketchup,” she says, tilting her head back to look up at him. His grin broadens.

The bored teen at the box office lets them in, despite the waft of fry oil from her purse, which bulges with its contraband cargo. Mulder buys two sodas and a box of Junior Mints while she waits. The college girls at the concession stand eye him with a familiar mix of anxiety and intrigue. Scully’s seen it in every small town, and some of the bigger ones. There’s something rarefied around Mulder, an air of old money, maybe, or a New England vowel. He interests people; they resent that. He’s too obviously overeducated, charming in a way people don’t trust. Still, they’re drawn to him.

She leans on the half-wall that separates the concessions area from a couple of arcade machines and the hall that leads to the three theaters. The college girls’ eyes flick to her and then back to Mulder. There’s hair twirling involved as they hand him his change. Scully smiles to herself. Mulder drops the coins into his overstuffed pocket and saunters over to her, oblivious to the glares of the college girls. Scully shows the tickets to the usher, who rips them and points out the door to the middle theater, as if they could get lost.

The theater is mostly full. They pick seats in the middle - harder for the usher to pick them out in the crowd - and wait until the lights go down. Scully wedges her purse between her hip and the armrest. The food is still warm. They take turns dipping in and retrieving a nugget or a few fries. Mulder carefully applies ketchup from the torn corner of a packet before stuffing the fries in his mouth. In the flickering light from the screen, his lips are glossy with grease. It’s odd, feeling the pressure of his hand against her thigh when he roots around inside her purse, but it isn’t unpleasant.

“You know all of this is nonsense,” Scully murmurs as the animated DNA explains how the park’s team re-created the dinosaurs. “Absolute junk science. Even if you could extract genetic material from a sample like that, there’s no reason to believe it would be viable, no matter how many amphibians you spliced into it.”

“I always find a reason to believe,” Mulder whispers to her. “Come on, Scully, give in to the movie magic. It’s called science fiction, not science plausible.”

“Shhh!” says someone behind them.

Scully subsides until she can no longer contain herself. Mulder, recognizing her mood without looking, tilts his ear closer so that she can whisper to him. They get shushed again, and then again, derailing her sotto voce tirades about parthenogenesis and the feasibility of a theme park based around dinosaur habitats.

“Your wife has a lot to say!” Mulder’s neighbor tells him. It’s clearly intended to be a reprimand. Mulder pretends it’s a compliment. Scully subsides, chastised and defensive. If she doesn’t think too hard about it, the movie is entertaining. And if her knee presses into Mulder’s as the T. rex stomps toward the Jeep, neither of them acknowledges it.

They wait through the credits after the movie, letting the locals trickle out. The glares Scully is fielding now are different from the ones she got at the concession stand. She lifts her chin, defiant. Mulder stuffs their McDonald’s trash into their empty soda cups, concealing the evidence.

“I can’t believe you didn’t enjoy that,” Mulder says as they walk back toward the motel. The evening air is dotted with fireflies. A breeze rustles the leaves and pushes her hair over her forehead.

“I didn’t not enjoy it,” Scully tells him. “It just didn’t seem feasible.”

“Doctor Sattler reminded me of you,” Mulder says. He pushes his hands into his pockets. “Woman inherits the earth.”

“If only we could reproduce so easily on our own.” Scully cuts her eyes at Mulder. “You know, you remind me of Doctor Malcolm.”

“Why, Doctor Scully, I didn’t know you had a thing for bad boys.” She shoves at his arm with her shoulder and he chuckles. “What about me reminds you of him? Because I’m tall, dark, and handsome?”

She rolls her eyes. “Mostly it’s your love of chaos.”

“Mostly?”

“Mostly.” She smiles at him.

“So there’s a chance you think I’m irresistibly suave.” His voice is as velvety as the humid air.

“There’s a chance of a lot of things, Mulder.” She looks up at the night sky and savors the bitter freshness of the last Junior Mint. “Even dinosaurs.”

A few weeks later, they’re on the Texas coast, drafted into an anti-smuggling operation. There’s nothing supernatural about it - more than anything, they’re warm bodies in Kevlar vests. Scully doesn’t mind. Sometimes it’s satisfying to work on these task forces. There’s a clear resolution to cases like these: so many guns seized, so many tons of cocaine destroyed, so much cash pulled out of hidden stashes. It’s clear-cut who the bad guys are, and she doesn’t have to write the reports.

“Dinner and a show?” she says to Mulder as the other agents eddy around them. They’re rarely invited along to drinks when they’re assigned to these things, but she doesn’t necessarily enjoy being the only woman in the group anyway.

“Anything with air conditioning,” he says.

They eat at a seafood restaurant that’s nearly a shack. The seafood boil comes in plastic bags they have to rip open. It’s some of the best shrimp Scully has ever had, and the corn on the cob is as sweet and blisteringly hot as the last days of summer. She licks butter off her fingers and watches Mulder crack crab claws.

The theater here is bigger: eight screens instead of three. Scully buys two tickets for Sleepless in Seattle and presents them to Mulder. He raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t know if I took you for the rom-com type, Scully.”

“I don’t want to get shushed again.” She gives him a sideways glance. “At least we all agree this is going to be unrealistic.”

Mulder sighs and shakes his head. “So beautiful. So cynical.” Before she can figure out how to respond to that, he’s off to the concession stand again, this time returning with Dots wedged into one back pocket and Sno-Caps in the other. He hands her a soda as they go in the theater. The sides of the cup are already faintly damp with condensation. The theater itself is like an icebox, air conditioning whistling.

They sit in the back row this time, near a bunch of teenagers who already have their arms slung against each other. Mulder rolls his eyes, but there’s a nostalgic smile on his face. Scully wonders how many girls he sat in dark theaters with, focused on something other than the movie. He cups her hand and shakes Sno-Caps into her palm. She eats them one by one. They aren’t shushed this time. She almost misses the excuse to lean against him. By the time the movie is over, her feet are tingling with cold. Pushing out the doors into the muggy air is almost a relief.

“Hit me with your best shot, Scully.” Mulder takes her cup to toss it into the trash. “I assume I don’t remind you of lovable widower Tom Hanks.”

“I don’t know why she left Walter,” Scully says. “It seemed cruel. All because her life wasn’t like a movie?”

Mulder scoffs. “You wouldn’t stay with a guy like that.”

“A guy with allergies?”

“A guy who didn’t excite you,” Mulder says. “You wouldn’t settle for safe.”

Scully tips her face to look up at him. “Wouldn’t I?”

Mulder spreads his hands. “Picket fence, 9 to 5, 2.5 kids and Sunday dinner with the family - you like the sound of it, but you’d get bored. Face it, Scully, you’re a creature of the night now. You’ve got that wild urge in your soul. You’d be baying at the moon if you were stuck in that kind of life.”

“And lovable widower Tom Hanks would provide that?”

“No,” he says. “Ian Malcolm might, though.”

She rolls her eyes. “And how much do you charge for this astute psychoanalysis, Doctor Mulder?”

He taps his lower lip with one finger and scans around them. “Two scoops of mint chocolate chip.” He points to the glowing sign down the street depicting an anthropomorphic ice cream creature. Locals are clustered in groups around a walk-up window like moths around a lamp, sipping at floats and licking drippy cones.

Scully feels a rush of nostalgia for the summers of her youth. The salt air, the long twilight: she can’t help remembering. It’s a sweet little ache under her sternum, and it gets sharper when she looks at Mulder. He’s clearly pleased with himself. “I think I can swing that, as long as you’re not angling for a banana split.”

“What about one malt with two straws?” He winks at her.

“Don’t push your luck,” she grumbles.

But she thinks about it as the moon hangs heavy overhead, and she’s glad she can blame her flushed cheeks on the heat.

[lostryu]

i need gay rights because literally not a single self-proclaimed cis/het 'ally' understands the alienating experience that comes with being the only gay person in the workplace.

i am a gnc butch lesbian. i use he/him pronouns. when i came out to my manager regarding my pronouns (i had been an open lesbian since the moment of my hire), she told me that she supported me, but she could not enforce or ask our clients to use the correct pronouns for me. she told me it was something i would have to learn to deal with. she never uses the correct pronouns for me unless a person from a different department (who also happens to be LGBT+) is present. she is our HR in addition to manager.

none of my coworkers in my department ever remember to use my pronouns. if i remind them, they go over the top with the "im sorry's" and the "im still learning" and "you know i try my hardest's!" and "i swear im not homophobic!", it has been over 6 months since i came out. if i say nothing, they continue to use she/her (unless that other lgbt+ person from the other department is present, then they miraculously get it right).

sometimes they call me 'girl'. they always flounder and correct to "man-boy-uh youknowwhatimeanright". they laugh it off. they never bother to ask what terms i am comfortable with, or if i even cared in the first place. they don't care about my gender, they never bother to ask. somehow the subject gets changed every time i try to tell them, or set a boundary.

once in a while in a slow shift, the conversation will hop to our dating lives. somehow, it always jumps to how men suck and how dating a woman must be so much easier. they wish they could be gay and not straight. every time, they'll stare at me expectantly, like i am an animal at the zoo. no matter what i say, positive or negative, i must be lying. i cannot be that happy in my relationship, or if i have any issues, they must be minor. if i say 'why don't you try dating a girl then' to their remarks, they'll laugh, say something like "there is no way i possibly could" with that special tone of disguised disgust.

i am a prop, at work. they tell me about how much they love their kids. how they could bring anyone home and they wouldn't care. "they could be black, brown, or purple," they'll say "it could be a woman or a man! I support gay rights!" Then they will talk about how hungry they are, and how they will be going to Chick Fil a for the 4th time this week. 'as a treat'. it is thursday. they talk about going to Hobby Lobby again for christmas decorations, or another sale. sometimes i think i can taste blood.

its june. they talk about the pride parade and how excited they are to see the queens and their 'funny costumes'. they talk about how fun it is to go and watch, how they like the free things the corporations hand out. they don't want to bring their younger kids though. they're not old enough. they do not know that the first pride was a riot. they do not know what happened during the AIDS crisis, how many died. they don't really care when i try to tell them, they'd rather focus on the fun parts of the parade. the spectacle.

i wear a pronoun pin, to make it easier. still somehow no one can get my pronouns right. a client notices it. commends me for "being brave" and "coming out." she never uses my correct pronouns. i stopped wearing the pin after the 11th person asked me if my name on my name tag was my real one, and after the 45th person went out of their way to use incorrect pronouns every sentence. my manager, the HR, did not care.

i need gay rights, but somehow everything got resolved when they allowed us to marry in 2015. to our allies, the work is done. somehow i am left more alone than when we started.

[spicybunni]

YANDERE DONNA BENEVIENTO HEADCANONS

I'm back again with my girl! I love her so much and think her chapter deserved more development. Also the haunted house aesthetics for her estate? HELLO? This is more of a continuation of my previous Yandere Donna post with some repeated themes but longer version I guess? Hope you enjoy 🖤

WARNINGS : YANDERE TENDENCIES / ISLOATION / SCARING DARLING / DOLLS / SFW / SLIGHT VIOLENCE TOWARDS READER

🪡Never let’s you leave the manor. Are you joking? She hardly leaves unless it’s to meet with her siblings or Mother Miranda.

🪡Stop trying to escape. You're just gonna be chased in a circle by unimaginable horrors back into your isolated room. If it not by dolls or monsters it would be by ghosts.

🪡If she's in a forgiving mood, all she would do is scold you and leave you be. You are her beloved so she can't truly be angry with you. You didn't know any better from the 100 other times you have attempted and failed!

🪡However, if she is furious with you. It definitely shows. She will isolate you and lock the door to your room but the dolls haunt you for the remainder of the evening. If dolls don't scare you she would make you hallucinate. She would come back in once she hears your screams die down. Finding you in a corner shaking with snot and tears dribbling down your face. So easily manipulated like putty into her embrace again.

🪡You would grasp onto her and cry into her shoulder. Muttering apologizes and pleas for that to never happen again, that you would do anything.

🪡Her grin would go unnoticed by you. "Then just obey and be good." She would say, stroking your hair to calm you down.

🪡Do not keep asking her to let you go either. If she tries to start conversation with you and all you ever say is to let you go? Immediately gives you the silent treatment! And if you continue despite that? Then its downstairs for you.

🪡Makes cute dresses/clothes for you. How do you think all of her dolls look so good? She can pretty much sew anything.

🪡There's no option to refuse wearing the clothes she makes because she will literally toss all your wardrobe until you wear whatever she made.

🪡If you got an unexpected face reveal from her? Immediately sent to the basement to be isolated. If you even dare to ask what happened to her face her dolls would cut you. Of course it wasn't in your control, but now you know her biggest insecurity. She must make you fear her all over again.

🪡A better response rather than just staring is if you avoid her gaze back at you, covering your eyes and repeatedly apologize for looking. She would be satisfied with that and move on from it.

🪡Does not like it when you talk about your previous life. You can talk about your interests or ask her questions, and she will gladly respond to you. Don't talk about these past friends or god forbid you mention your family. It makes her shake with anger and she will send you to your room.

🪡Also becomes your doctor while keeping you. Her knowledge does not stop at medical plants and herbs. She would give you check ups every now and then.

🪡PDA would include sitting closely on the couch, having your head in her lap, some hugging, and hand holding. After a while I feel she would order you to sleep in the same bed as her.

🪡You figure it's better than being awake all night by yourself hearing creaks in the wood of the manor or high pitched giggling from her dolls littered everywhere.

🪡Honestly since you're one of her first darlings that is somewhat compliant, and hasn't been killed immediately, her conflicting emotions with PDA are 50/50. She only allows it if she initiates or demands it. But if you ever surprise her and do it back without her permission she gets flustered easily and will leave you in your room again. Eventually she would be alright with you touching her, but for now let her have the power and control of PDA.

🪡At some point you are finally broken and realize there is no escape, you become a housekeeper for Donna. Mostly just a helper. She doesn't let you cook alone.

🪡Does expect compliments when she shows you her embroidery or her latest garden project. She loves when you actually show interest in what she's doing. If you don't, Angie would just yell insults at you until you did.

🪡A compliant darling gets the best treatment from Donna. She would have no reason to punish you and would actually grant some freedoms of roaming the mansion. Letting you go into her library and cinema room on your own. She would pat your head or hold your face between her palms lovingly.

🪡 On the flip side if you're a defiant darling....well, you get nothing beneficial. You are locked below the mansion in the attic with a few books and a bed. Not even a bathroom. The only interactions you get are her sliding a food tray into the room and wellness check ups on you. She doesn't even give you the comedic relief of Angie. If you ever try to get the best of her while she's with you, she is not against chaining you to the bed post or the center of the room.

🪡Donna can be a very gentle yandere. She is obsessed with you becoming her companion in life till the end. Or rather your end. Just be a good darling to her and you can expect a life of comfortable silences and cozy fireplace chatter.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

The Agreement

kai parker x reader | requested by @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie back when i asked for fluffy prompts bc i was having a hard month

summary: helping kai adjust to a normal life has its ups and downs, but he, of course, always wins in the end.

tags: domesticity, adjusting to normal life, lots of comfort & cuddling, gemini coven lore, minor indirect mention of abortion where kai's being a dick, but he's mostly soft in this fic, bartender!kai, mentions of alcohol, minor bar fight, minor mention of assault, accidental murder, protective!kai, protective!damon, bonnie is kinda mean in this one, damon secretly wants to be friends with kai, angst & fluff ish

word count: ~9.9k

a/n: this is so cheesy and somewhat choppy but bare with me 😅

You, Damon, and Bonnie have made a deal. Neither will kill Kai, as long as you can help the witch settle into a new life in Mystic Falls. Those are the terms made, and boy, are they hard to get. 

“You can’t fix him, Y/N. He’s beyond fucked up,” Bonnie scoffs, “and I don’t want to be partly responsible if I were to make some crazy deal with you that goes wrong.”

“I just want him to try and have a normal life, Bon. He spent twenty years in an abusive household and another twenty years in isolation. He has no idea what normalcy is.”

“By the sound of that, he’s too far gone for you to even try.”

“Just give me a chance to work with him!”

“I don’t even like you being with him! He’s going to hurt you, and I don’t want that to happen to you.”

“I haven’t given him a reason to hurt me, Bon.”

“He doesn’t need a reason. He just does things.”

“Well, in that case, I’ve given him a reason not to hurt me. I’m the only one willing to try and help him adjust.”

“Y/N-”

“I see the point you’re making, Y/N,” Damon interrupts his best friend, “but are you really going to put all this work in for him? Seriously?”

“Yes! I don’t get why you guys are so against this. I’m helping you out; I’m giving you one less person to worry about that could raise hell in this town.”

“He already has-”

“Bonnie, please.”

“It would be easier to just kill him.”

“Bonnie!”

“Look at him! He’s plotting right now! No one is quiet for that long unless they’re plotting something.”

You sigh and turn to follow her gaze. Kai is sitting on a barstool, in the room of the boarding house that’s surrounded by windows, watching snow fall. 

“He’s just observing!”

“Sure he is.”

“And he’s probably trying to tune out this conversation, too. I’d be, if people were talking about me, and two of them wanted to kill me.”

Bonnie gives you a hard glare. 

“Four months,” Damon says suddenly.

“What?”

“You have four months to get him settled.”

“Don’t give me a deadline. It took you longer than four months to stop killing people when you got back to town. And the only reason you did is because Elena finally fell for you. But then every time she dumps you, you kill people again.”

“Thanks for the summary.”

“My point is, I might need longer than four months. I can start with the killing stuff first, teach him he can’t do that, but getting him on his feet might be some work.”

“Easy. Pull the chair out, he’ll figure it out.”

“Damon-”

“I know what you meant. Fine. Six months max. If he’s still (A) killing people, (B) in my house every time I come down for a cup of coffee, or (C) a complete and utter basket-case, by that time, then he’s,” Damon makes the gesture of a throat being slit, “done. No more killing, no more kidnapping, no more terrorizing. Got it?”

“Fine.” You roll your eyes at his insistent face. “Got it.”

“In return, I, nor Bonnie, will kill him unless you take longer or he goes off the rails.”

“You guys do you know you can’t kill him, right? If he dies, so does Jo, so does Liv. Alaric will never speak to you ever again.”

Damon hesitates, but Bonnie already seemed to have an answer to that prepared. “Don’t think I won’t toss him back into 1994, or make a new prison world entirely, if I need to.”

“Bonnie-”

“But if you think you have him under control, you don’t need to worry about that now, do you?”

You sigh, then look over to Kai. He’s still turned towards the window, but you don’t doubt he’s listening. “No, I don’t.” You straighten your posture. “And you won’t need to worry about him, either.”

“Alright, Ms. Confident,” Damon mocks, “guess we have a deal. You have six months to get that weasel somehow adjusted to real life, and we won’t kill him, or throw him in a prison world.”

“Nor will you antagonize him for fun, Damon, which I know you like to do.”

“I do not-”

“Mason Lockwood. John Gilbert. T-”

“Alright! Fine. Bonnie and I will stay out of your way while you work on your little project.”

“I’m going to prove to you he can be good. Just mind your own business while I do it.”

“Fine.”

“Deal?”

“Deal.”

Two minutes later, you gather Kai and hurry out the door.

“Did you hear all that?”

“Yeah. I’m on thin fucking ice.”

“Mhm.” You then grab his arm before he can slip on real ice right outside the boarding house. 

The pair gave you a rather strict set of rules to follow, and Kai’s surprised you didn’t give up on him just hearing the terms. He makes sure to thank you on your way to the Grill, where you’re headed for coffee. He hopes he sounds genuine, but still tends to struggle with that stuff sometimes. You, being the loving person you are, give him a smile and a kiss to the cheek in return. You then walk hand-in-hand to the restaurant, where you plan to carefully explain a few places you’ll help him start. 

Two coffees and a lava cake later, you catch his attention. 

“So, this is a bad example.”

“What do you mean?” He looks up at you, chocolate syrup dripping from the side of his lip. 

You reach out to wipe it off, then lick it off your own finger. Kai then wipes off the rest with his napkin, the little that you missed. He smiles at your lack of hesitancy to reach out to him. 

“It’s like, five o’clock-ish, and our dinner shouldn’t be dessert-”

“This is your influence. I fed myself properly when I was locked up.”

“Oh really?” You ask with a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah, actually, I did. And in fact, the first time I met you, you were in this very same seat, with Caroline, eating a lava cake.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Fine.”

He smirks at his win. 

“So you cook. You need somewhere to do it.”

“Like?”

“An apartment, maybe?”

“I can just move in with you.”

You bite your lip. You love Kai, but you’ve only been dating for three months. Of course, he’s spent days and slept over before, but it might be too early for the ‘moving in together’ stage. “You could,” you start, “or we could find you an apartment close-by. So you can get a little bit of autonomy, figure things out for yourself. Have a place to get away, if you need.”

“I don’t think I’d need to get away from you,” he chuckles. 

“I certainly hope you won’t, but, I don’t know, I think it’ll be good for you to have your own place. Just for a little while.”

“Do you not want to live with me?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying! I’d love to, but it might be just a little too early for that. And I really think you’d benefit from having your own space. I’ll help pay rent for the first few months. Well, unless you want to go to college? Live in a dorm?”

“At Whitmore?”

“Anywhere.”

“But you live here.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re not in college.”

“No.” You’re not sure where he’s taking this.

“I don’t want to be away from you. I don’t even want to live away from you.”

“You live away from me now.”

“That’s different. At least in the boarding house, there’s people.”

“People who have no qualms about killing you, Kai. What’s this actually about?”

“I don’t want to be alone!” He finally admits. A few people look over from the shout, but you wave them off. “I was alone for eighteen years, I can’t take it anymore!”

“Kai, there are other people in apartments, too.”

“But not in the same room! They’re all in locked doors. I’ve seen plenty of shows. Besides, what if the time away makes you not want to be with me anymore?”

“What?!” You ask, genuinely surprised. 

“You’re the only person that cares about me. What if space apart makes you not?”

“Baby, that’s not going to happen. I’m not going to stop loving you just because you move into an apartment.” You lower your voice, recognizing your conversation has an audience of three old men. “We’re apart now,” you repeat, “and I still love you. A couple minutes apart, even less time than our distance now, isn’t going to change that.”

“I still don’t want to be alone, Y/N.”

“Tell you what… we’ll find you one in the same building that I’m in, maybe even the same floor. We’ll be two minutes apart at most. You can come find me at any time; I’ll give you a key.” You reach out to take his hand. “When we’re dating for longer, we can talk about moving in together, but for now, I really want you to try living on your own. Please? We have to prove to Damon and Bon that you can, or you know what they’ll do. Do it for me, so I can keep you safe, okay?”

Kai bites his lip. “Okay. Same floor.”

“I think the woman across the hall is moving out anyway.”

He nods. 

“Besides, I don’t want you too far from me, either.” You wink. “Who else is going to cook for me?”

He smiles at your first comment, but at the second, pushes your hand playfully. “See, you admit I can cook.”

“Never said you couldn’t!” You pause. “So that’s a definite ‘no’ on the college thing?”

He nods. “First of all, you wouldn’t be there. Second, I don’t care for the college experience that’s so hyped up in movies. Third, I’ve read thousands of books while being locked up. If I wanted to study one thing really intently, I either already have, or I would’ve.”

“Okay then.” Obviously, his mind is made up. “Sounds good.”

You both eat a few more bites of the cake, then he crinkles his nose. “I know you’re gonna say it sooner or later, so I might as well ask now… are you gonna make me get a job?”

The cynical look on his face makes you want to laugh, but you manage to hold it in. “Yep.”

“Crap.”

“It doesn’t have to be something crazy. Hell, you could work here. Be a bartender or something.”

“Do I have to work with people?”

“I thought you just said you want to be around people?”

“Not stupid people, though. Y’know, like the what-you-call-Karen types that would make me want to wring their neck.”

You chuckle. “Baby, that’s a type of person difficult to avoid. Any job is gonna have its fair share of annoying people. Unless you deliver mail, or something.”

“What’s that require?” 

“Valid driver’s license.”

“I have one of those.”

“Valid?”

“Made it myself, but it got me through airport security.”

You sigh. “Can you drive?”

“Yes. Taught myself.”

“Would you pass a test?”

“I don’t know. But I drove BonBon from Mystic Falls to Portland without killing her.”

“Lower your voice when you say stuff like that!” You warn again, waving off a man. 

Kai seems to ignore you. “Though half of that trip, we did fly…”

“You flew a plane?”

“Had eighteen years to learn!”

“Okay. Let’s get off this topic. You spend so much time in this grill, it might be a good place to start. As long as you show up, do your best, and don’t,” you lower your own voice, “spike people’s drinks for fun-”

“I would never!” He fakes offense.

“-I think you’d be good.”

The boy takes a sip of his coffee. “Fine. Just for you, I’ll try it.”

“Great! I’ll talk to Matt.”

“Ugh.”

“And don’t mention that you killed the manager, because they never found out who did that.”

“Noted.”

“And he’s besties with the Sheriff.”

“Great. You don’t want me to work here for an extra set of eyes on me, do you?”

“No, ‘course not. You’re my sole responsibility, I don’t want Matt involved at all. I just think you’d be a good bartender.”

“Okay.”

“And you like it here, so you might be more comfortable here.”

“What are the odds you could work here, too?”

“I have a job.”

“You could quit it and work here.”

“Kai…”

“Fine. Talk to Matt.”

“Okay.” You stand up to find the other boy. “Stay here.” You kiss his head as you pass him, then head to the bar. 

Kai stares into his coffee while you wait by the bar. He likes the Grill, but doesn’t know about working in it. The customers around him are often annoying, and he doubts his ability to remain patient with them. Still, you made a deal to keep him safe, and if his two little prison world friends are going to uphold their end, the two of you have to keep yours. He sighs, then turns to find you. You’ve caught hold of Matt, but as you seem to explain the situation, he rolls his eyes. Kai bites his lip. He has to make this work, for you, even if he doubts his own ability to fit into the world.

As you turn to look at him, he looks away abruptly. A minute later, you return to your seat. 

“How’d it go?”

“He’s gonna give you a chance… on one condition.”

“Which is?”

“If I’ll work here, too.”

The boy’s eyes light up. “Really? I thought you said I should do it myself.”

“Well then scratch that. It’ll be more fun together anyway.”

Kai smiles before growing serious again. “So apartment, job… anything else to cover?”

You’re quiet for a moment. There’s a lot more to cover, but you’ve just tackled two of the biggest factors when it comes to normalcy, and you don’t want to overload the poor boy. So instead of bringing anything else up, you shrug. “We can tackle it later. For now, let’s finish this cake.”

Grateful, he nods. He knows, not only from Bonnie and Damon, that there’s a lot more expected of him than just housing and working. He’s lucky he has someone that understands that. “Okay.”

“Okay,” you reply back. 

*****

For the next couple nights, Kai stays with you until you can secure a room for him in your apartment complex. Turns out Ms. Mary White had moved out just recently - wanted to find a complex with fewer stairs - and Kai would be able to move in by the end of the week. 

Of course, that process doesn’t come without its own issues. A key piece of information required for renting an apartment is proof of one’s identity. When Kai is asked to present his, he stares blankly at your landlord. 

“Uh, I think my father has it in the attic of my childhood home.”

“Well can you call him?”

“He probably burned it,” Kai mutters.

Your landlord’s eyes quickly widen at the same time yours do. Your boyfriend’s blunt honesty is quite fatal for the situation; your landlord does not need to know about his abusive childhood, nor the crimes Kai had committed over twenty years ago. One Google search could quite possibly open a whole can of worms you aren’t ready to contain. 

In the following two seconds after that, you dial Caroline’s number. 

Luckily, the vampire comes to your aid. She compels the man into forgetting both the conversation, and his need for any proof of identity. She seals his spot in the apartment, and simultaneously, in his new life. 

As Caroline then helps the two of you settle in, Kai catches her attention. 

“Why did you help me?”

The blonde faces him. “Well… for one, Y/N cares about you. If she sees good in you, and the ability to change, to be better, then I trust her. Two, I do owe you for helping my mom. She’s healing, slowly, ever since you siphoned the vampire’s blood out of her system, and I never fully thanked you for that. And third… I know someone like you. Someone who came to Mystic Falls, and wrecked absolute havoc, but for some reason, he had a soft spot for me. I was used in all of the plans they would make to distract or ‘neutralize’ him, and with time, it worked. He got better. He’s an ally now. A friend, even.”

“So Y/N is like you, and he’s kinda like me. You see that happening? You can see me getting better?”

“Klaus did.”

Kai swallows. It means a lot to hear someone other than Y/N have faith in him. “Thank you.”

“All I’m saying is prove them wrong. Damon’s an ass sometimes. And remember, he was the villain too, a while back.”

“I heard some stories from them back in the prison world.”

“Well they probably didn’t even cover half the stuff he did. Trust me, Damon has no room to judge.”

Kai nods. 

“Text me if you guys need help with anything else. Kai, good luck. Treat Y/N well.” With a smile, she’s gone. 

“Klaus,” Kai repeats.

“You’re not half as bad as Klaus,” you inform him, “killing-wise, I mean. That thing is a thousand years old and has killed probably five times more people than his age.”

“She said he got better.”

“He did. Still kills, obviously, but he is a friend to us now.”

He nods again, processing the information without replying. 

You spend the rest of the evening settling him in with the little stuff he has. Most of his belongings are clothes, and whatever else is either from 1994 or stolen somewhere along the way. You have some extra furniture in your apartment, and earlier that day, bought him a comforter. It’s enough to live, and he seems fine with it. Besides, you both know he’ll be in your apartment most of the time, anyway. 

*****

A couple days after that, you start your new jobs at The Grill. You’re only part time, considering you’re already a dedicated employee elsewhere, and Matt’s fine with that as long as you “watch him” at least most of the time. The boy is clearly not excited about the reformed serial killer joining his work team, but at the same time, Matt’s not one to turn down anyone looking for a fresh start. 

At first, he keeps Kai in the back, away from people. A smart move while he still adjusts. He’s mostly tasked with filling drink orders and cleaning up, and only after he’s been working in the restaurant environment for a week is he actually allowed to hand people their orders. So far, he’s incident-free, but you can tell Matt is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

His heart almost stops the day he sees Damon enter on a day he has Kai serving drinks.

Matt rushes to the back, trying to find you to take over before the vampire can saunter over to the bar. 

“Bourbon. Neat.” Damon says to no one in particular. 

Kai swallows hard at the sound of the man’s voice, but then stands up to pour him the drink. As he passes the glass to him, Damon’s attention turns from the distant game of billiards to the unidentified bartender. 

“Oh.” He blinks in surprise. “It’s you.”

“Yep, I am working here now.” Kai enunciates every word, still in disbelief that he does. 

“Gotta say I’m shocked. Had any urges to kill anyone yet?”

“No, it’s been mostly tame. There was one lady the other day who was so drunk, she fell out of her chair, but that was more amusing than anything else.”

Damon snorts. Part of him wishes he could have witnessed that, but he’ll be damned if he admits that to Kai. “And her inconsiderate ways didn’t have you tempted to toss a glass at her head? Maybe you are improving.”

Kai bites his tongue. He knows Damon’s just trying to get under his skin, and the bar is too busy for him to react. Besides, one wrong move and the vampire will call off their deal.

Luckily, a heartbeat later, you pop around the corner from the kitchen.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Your little pet served a drink.” He takes a sip. “Ten points to Slytherin for getting my order correct.”

“Be nice, Damon. I’ve never seen you attempt to get a job.”

“Why would I need a job? I’m a vampire, if you haven’t forgotten. I don’t need money, and I don’t need to buy food-”

“Because you just eat people? Right. And you do buy food, let me remind you, and drinks, on a daily basis, which requires money. But since your nephew - whom you killed - was rich, you don’t need to work for anything. So no, you don’t need a job, but if you were born into a less rich family, you’d certainly need to, to support your hobbies.”

“Touché.” 

You shrug. “I’m just sayin’.”

Damon glares at you, sips the rest down in one gulp, then spins the glass back to Kai. “Refill.”

Knowing you’ve won, you give your boyfriend a kiss to the cheek as he pours another glass. You’re halfway back to the kitchen when Damon clears his throat,

“I could report you for PDA.”

“Try me.”

He doesn’t. 

That night, you praise your boyfriend for keeping his cool under the unexpected presence of Damon. Truth be told, you hadn’t even considered the man’s frequency at the restaurant when you spoke out for Kai to work there; you only thought about where he’d be most comfortable. Kai admitted he started pushing buttons, but your interference diffused the situation immediately. You give him a kiss, then snuggle into his chest, legs over his as you sit in his lap. Kai grabs you before you can get too comfortable, turning your cuddling into a make-out session. Unlike his shift at the bar earlier, things escalate pretty quickly. 

*****

Weeks pass of coaxing Kai into a normal life. He’s doing well despite the cards handed to him, and you’re sure to tell him how proud you are each night. There have been a few instances where he’s yelled at customers who’ve yelled at him, and then he had to muster up an apology to them. On two occasions, you’ve traded places with him, seeing either Damon or a crowd of college kids approaching the bar. But though he’s had a few mistakes, he’s received compliments, too. 

One woman, a regular, and very picky about her cocktails, told him she’s impressed with his ability, especially given his age, and that he makes some of the best drinks she’s had. She always leaves a good tip, and has made sure to tell the manager what she said to him. 

Kai only gave a dimpled smile and a polite, “thank you,” and decided not to tell her he’s actually in his forties, and had nothing better to do for eighteen years than craft cocktails. 

“See,” you then said to him, “I knew you’d be a good bartender. I didn’t even know you could make cocktails.”

“I couldn’t tell if she was hitting on me by the end of the night,” is all he replies. 

You scrunch your eyebrows, but then widen your eyes at the fifty percent tip. “Yeah, maybe just a little.”

*****

As much progress as he’s made, he’s not done yet. Kai’s had about three months of getting on his feet, and now he has to address a big issue that both of you have been avoiding. On a calm night neither of you had work, you decide it’s now or never to bring it up. 

So, laying across his lap again, you fiddle with the ring on his finger as a show you’re half-watching runs in the background. Tension builds in your shoulders as you try to form a good question. Within minutes, he can tell something’s up with you. 

“What?”

“I have something to say, but you’re not gonna like it.”

“Spill.”

“So… You’ve fought hard against the fate chosen for you by your father. He didn’t think you were capable of leading the coven, so he cast you out. Made you feel like you were less of a person; of a witch, because of the way you were born.”

“Point?”

“Against all odds, you came out on top. You broke down the barriers, literally and physically, and became the leader. Now,” you pause, “you gotta lead.”

Kai swallows as if he hadn’t anticipated this aspect of his choices. That, or he never expected to get this far, and therefore, never thought about any way he’d do it. “I am,” he finally says.

“How?” 

“I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“You’re telling me your father never had any specific duties he’d have to perform as leader? No responsibilities? No expectations? Nothing?”

“He had to find a wife and have a set of twins.”

“Kai-”

“I know what you mean,” he sighs. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to lead a coven! What the hell do they do? Do I have to feed them? Give them water?”

“They’re not plants, Kai. Th-”

“I know!” He pauses the TV, but luckily doesn’t try to get off the couch. “But I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that myself. I saw my dad do some of it; he’d go to meetings, and set the standards, and was there to congratulate every stupid baby ever born-”

“Kai,” you warn. 

“Sorry. I just… they hate me. How am I supposed to lead them when they hate me, and frankly, I hate them, too.”

“You’re just gonna have to do your best. Don’t do exactly what your father did, but use his leadership as a guideline - whether that's what to do or what to not do, that’s your choice. Try to co-exist with them, and follow whatever rules are absolutely required.”

He bites his cheek. “Will you help me?”

“Of course.” You kiss the side of his face he’s biting to make him let go. “I told you before, I’m always gonna be here for you. If that includes helping you make decisions in regards to your crazy coven, then so be it.”

*****

You’ve never seen anyone from his coven aside from his immediate family, so seeing more of the group that you’d ever anticipated was terrifying, to say the least. The whole plane trip across the country, you’re both having trouble sitting still. As he consumes mini pretzels at an abnormal rate, your tapping foot is probably peeving the passengers around you. Still, he tries his best to prepare you for what den of lions you’re about to face. 

“So… meetings are usually just comprised of “elders” and their wives, plus anybody else deemed important enough to attend, or anyone who has something important to share. The elders are the decision makers, and now that includes my dad - elderly, and a past leader.” You snort at his choice of word, but then remember Kai’s actual age and realize the man probably is elderly. “So he’ll certainly be there. Jakob’s had it out for me since day one. I’m assuming he’s still alive, and he’ll be filled with piss and vinegar to see me in person. Leon’s fine. He carries the siphon gene and hasn’t had children because of it. His great uncle is rotting in a prison world somewhere, and I only know that from reading the journals from when I was in ‘94. Patrice is… unimportant,” he says, not knowing what else to say about her. 

“Jeez… is anyone in your family actually pleasant?”

“My Aunt Maisie.”

“Oh, so one person.”

He nods. “She’s where Jo got ‘Laughlin’ from. You’d think if she was trying to hide from me, she wouldn’t pick the one name I’d immediately recognize.” He doesn’t say anything else on the matter, but there’s clearly more to it. You don’t push. His childhood isn’t something he wants to relive, and going to this meeting is doing exactly that. Instead, you change the topic.

“So I got us a hotel for the night, and a flight back the next morning. Partly because I know you don’t want to be here, and to be honest, I don’t want to be here, either. And, partly, because when you took off yesterday to prepare for this stupid thing, Matt texted and said Jenny missed your cocktails.”

The comment makes him smile. Even though the grill regular definitely flirts with him most nights, he’s come to enjoy her presence. 

“Though I told him you’d need tomorrow night off, too, because this is going to be mentally draining, on top of the plane trip that crosses several time zones. And maybe Saturday, also.”

“Thank you,” he says genuinely, relieved that you understand him in such a way. He leans over to kiss you five seconds before the plane hits turbulence. 

*****

On top of the four elders Kai mentioned, his father included, six others were also in attendance. Three were present when he was a kid, though Kai deemed them of lesser importance - they’d rarely speak, and usually only vote - and three had been elected sometime post-1994. He knows them from biannual gatherings and special occasions, but had never really spoken to them. And that reason is, of course, because he was rarely allowed out of his room for those occasions. 

When he first enters the room and meets their eyes, small chatter fades to complete silence. Breaths are held as they look the boy up and down. They stare at him, then at you, and a little at your clasped hands. One-by-one, they address him, all by his full name, making his eyes twitch. 

Joshua is the last of the elders to greet the new leader, being the most recent to join the council. He looks down disapprovingly before finally spitting a welcome. 

“Where’s A-” Joshua turns on his heels and walks away before Kai can ask the question.

His sister then stands before him. “Aunt Maisie passed away in ‘99.”

Kai’s throat dries. “Why are you here?”

“I’m carrying the next set of twins, of course I’d be here.”

You squeeze his hand, trying to comfort him. He bites back a reply, but you can feel the anger coursing through his body. 

Nothing important happens in the actual meeting. Jakob, as Kai predicted, shouts most of the time at no one in particular. Everyone knows he’s mad at Joshua, though, and you later learn that he originally wanted to kill the siphon boy at a mere eight years old. This time, Kai squeezes your hand to calm you. 

A couple minutes is spent talking about the future of the coven. Patrice points out that although Jo is pregnant, her husband isn’t the leader. Something in her tone hints that the leader’s girlfriend should be the one to be pregnant and to bear the next set, but she’s instantly overridden by everyone shushing her about not wanting to continue the siphon, nor Kai in particular’s, direct bloodline.

In summary, you and Kai flew all the way to Portland just to be annoyed for three hours. That night, you cuddled him on the hotel bed, massaging your hands through his hair. He put up a strong, confident front to prove his ability to lead, but melted the moment you coaxed him into your arms in the privacy of the room. He’s quiet for a long time, and you’re the one that finally breaks the silence. 

“I’m proud of you.” 

His shoulders relax but tone hardens. “Why?” He wants to believe you, but doubts himself so much that he can’t yet. 

“Because you stood up to them by coming here. You’re making an effort to prove your worth to them. Not like you should have to do that, but they’re a bunch of assholes who think you do. But regardless of that, too, it took a lot of strength to face the people who’ve done nothing but cause you pain. You handled both Jo’s and Jakob’s hostility well.”

He exhales, racing mind beginning to ease. “Thank you for coming with me.”

“Of course. Thank you for braving this step and showing them you’re more than capable to lead.”

“They’ll never think I am.”

“That doesn’t matter. They have no say in it; you’re already doing it.”

“For twenty-two years. Until whatever is germinating in my sister’s womb pops out.” 

You bite your cheek to keep from laughing. His back rests against your chest, though, and there’s no way he didn’t feel at least a chuckle. “Well then that means we have twenty-two years to figure out something else instead.”

“Pennyroyal tea?”

“No!” You say quickly, unsure if he’s joking or not. “I mean more like, I don’t know, whatever that one woman was saying.”

It takes him a moment, but then his eyes narrow. “You want to have twins?”

“Better me than Jo to have the set that will eventually take over. Even if I’m a couple years behind, they’ll have to accept the current leader’s set over his sister’s, right?”

Kai shrugs, having no idea. It sounds true, given what was hinted before the elder was shushed, but he doesn’t know. Regardless of the answer, he sighs. “You wouldn’t want that kind of tie to my coven.”

“I’m dating you, I kinda already have it.”

“Yeah, but that level of ‘in it’ is something you can’t get out of.”

“I’d do it for you.”

He swears his heart stops. You would marry into his coven and produce a set of in-line twins just for him. Kai is still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you’re dating him, not to mention you’d suffer a coven meeting for him, but to also go that far… just because you love him? He can’t process it.

He wonders… maybe, he misheard you. “Did you say-” When he turns to face you, he realizes you’ve fallen asleep. Your hands remain to hold him, though you’re no longer playing with his hair. He watches your breathing for a moment, still bewildered. At some point, though, his racing mind and tired eyes drive him to exhaustion, and he finally falls asleep in your arms. 

*****

Joshua’s presence at your terminal prevented you from never mentioning the conversation, as you were already late to catch your plane. The salt and pepper haired man had a few last, weak words for his son, as he tried to thank him for attending the meeting, but still shame him for winning the merge at the same time. When he made a spiral hand gesture in search of the right thing to say for the fifth time, you snapped your fingers to speed up the process, and finally then did he spit out something half-meaningful. You got on your plane with two minutes to spare and had, for the time being, completely forgotten about your earlier talk. 

*****

You’re nearing the fifth month mark in your agreement with Damon and Bonnie, but to be honest, you aren’t worried about it one bit. They have no reason to punish Kai; he’s done nothing but make good progress since the deal was made.

That is, until one night at The Mystic Grill goes horribly wrong. 

*****

A rather impatient series of knocks has you opening the door with your eyes rolling. 

“What now?” You swing it open, expecting the pizza man. The last time, the man was so terrified of the neighbor’s dog that was barking, he was quick to hand it over and leave, forgetting his tip in the process. “I promise, the dog isn’t getting out. He’s just-”

Instead, Damon stands on the other side. “What dog? I’m not-”

“No.” You try to close it, but he stops it with his foot. 

“Wait, Y/N.”

“What do you want?”

“Can’t just check up on a friend?”

“I still have time to work with Kai. And for your information, he’s doing great. We don’t need your commentary.”

“I’m just curious.” He tries to look past your shoulder into the room. “Where is the little weasel?” Unfortunately, he spots him on the couch and offers a wave. 

“He has his own place down the hall, we’re just having dinner together. Got a problem with it?”

“Kai Parker has his own apartment? Wow!”

“Shut up, Damon. And why are you really here?”

“Jo told Alaric, who told me, that Kai’s been going to coven meetings lately.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Just seeing if it’s true! So what made him go?”

“He’s the leader; he’s taking up the responsibility. Like a leader does.”

He scoffs. “No influence from you?”

“Of course I’m helping him, but I’m not making decisions for him.”

“Really? This apartment, a job at the grill, being there for his family, that’s not you telling him what to do?”

“If didn’t want to do it, he wouldn’t. I don’t know if you know him, but Kai doesn’t do anything unless he wants to. Sure I’m guiding him, but he has the ultimate say in all of these decisions.”

“Yeah, except if he doesn’t follow the rules, we’re gonna kill him.”

“If you can catch him,” you challenge, “because if Kai decides he doesn’t want this life, I’m prepared to run with him.” You watch Damon’s face before continuing. “But the thing is - he does. He does want to fit in, and he does want his life to have meaning, and he doesn’t want to waste it. Contrary to what you all think, he’s really trying to start something here.” Damon stares at you. “So I’d appreciate it if you’d butt out and go away.”

The man clicks his tongue, but then ultimately leaves. “See you later, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” you mutter, joining him on the couch.

“You didn’t mention the guy at the bar.”

“Didn’t seem relevant. Damon makes mistakes, too.”

“What if he finds out?”

“I won’t let him hurt you. You’ve been making such good progress; you’ve been a downright angel most of the time. One bar fight in my defense isn’t going to erase all that.”

“Y/N, I killed him. He’s going to send me back to a prison world. I can’t go back there.”

You take his shoulders gently and pull him down into your lap. “He’s not going to hurt you, Kai. I promise. Rest your little head, okay?”

He nods. “And you’re sure you’ll leave with me if it comes to that?”

After the incident, he had a meltdown, fearing for his life, and almost preparing for Bonnie to burst through the door and send him away. You promised that if she were to come for him, you’d abandon this life and run with him, even if that dissolves the terms of your agreement with the pair. You had then admitted, too, that if Kai decides he doesn’t adapt well to domestic life, even without the incident that had occurred, you’re prepared to leave with him. Damon knowing that little contingency plan probably wasn’t the best, but you doubt the man believes you anyway. 

“Of course. I promise.” You assure him. 

*****

At nearly midnight, one week later, you hear a banging across the hall. After a moment, you poke your head out and see Damon at your door.

“The fuck do you want?”

“I thought this was your door?”

“I’m with Kai.”

“Ooh, in his apartment?”

“Did you think I was lying?”

He shrugs. “A little.”

“What do you want, Damon?”

He comes up to you with a piece of paper in his hand. He reads, “obituary of forty-two year old Patrick Johnson. Died in a bar fight last week. Split his head against the countertop. No arrests have been made,” he looks up, “happened at the grill.”

“So?”

“Sound familiar?”

“No arrests have been made.”

“Well I didn’t do it. Stefan didn’t do it. It could’ve only been Enzo, or your little “reformed” sociopath in there, and I think we both know who’s to blame.” You roll your eyes. “It’s easier to just tell the truth, sweetheart.”

“So what if it was? What are you gonna do? You’re not invited in; you can’t touch him.”

“Just tell me what happened, Y/N.” He makes a push against the boundary, but it doesn’t budge. “Look, Bonnie hasn’t seen this yet. Just tell me, and I can make it go away.”

“Why would you do that?”

“The goodness of my heart?” You snort. “Come on, Y/N.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I can go show this to her then,” he points his thumb in the other direction, “because I can promise you who she’ll point the first finger at, and considering Enzo’s been so busy sticking his nose in my brother’s business lately, odds aren’t in your favor.”

You hesitate. “Fine.”

Kai watches from the couch with bated breath. Damon gives him a little wave as he notices him. “Hello, Malachai.” You glare at the man, who then half-apologizes. “Sorry. Explain.”

 “There was a fight one night when we weren't working. Matt wasn’t working either. Kai had nothing to do with starting the fight, but unfortunately, we were sitting right in the middle of it. We got up to leave, but then some man grabbed me and reached down my shirt, and Kai lost his cool.”

“Details, please.”

“He pushed him into the bar but the man kept fighting back. He spit in Kai’s face and made attempts to pull at his clothes. All the while, yelling all this shit about what he wanted to do to me, screaming profanities. Made comments about other women, too, but when he specified that he had been watching me all night and was waiting for Kai to leave, Kai pushed his head down into the countertop. He still fought. After a couple of blows to the counter, we heard a crack. It wasn’t his fault, Damon, don’t hurt him, please.”

The man stares for a moment, then at Kai. “Y’know… I’m surprised you even made it this far. I had no faith in you.”

“Damon-”

“But, I have to say, I’m impressed by your progress. Y/N here wants you to be better, and clearly you love her enough to be better for her.”

“He’s doing it for himself, too, Damon. All he’s ever wanted is to be accepted, and-”

“Save the speech. I admire the progress you’ve made, and I’d honestly hate for all of Y/N’s hard work to go to waste. Now, Bonnie hasn’t seen this yet, and you’ve toned down your menacing almost one hundred percent, and I can agree that this incident isn’t your fault. So, if you promise not to repeat it, and don’t ever speak a word of this to Bonnie-”

“She doesn’t even talk to me anymore.”

“-we don’t have to let her know it happened. I’ll go Liz, clear your name from it. She can put the blame on someone else or claim it was an accident. Just tell me that you won’t let this happen again.”

Now you’re the one staring at Damon, wide-eyed with surprise. “I-I promise.”

Kai nods, agreeing. “I didn’t mean to get in a fight, and I certainly didn’t mean to kill him. I just couldn’t let it go and he wouldn’t stop.”

“I’d do the same if it were Elena. Hell, I’d do it for Y/N, too. What’s one less douchebag in this world?”

The boy half-smiles. “Hey, Damon?”

“What?”

“If Bonnie does find out, or if she has a suspicion, what do we do?”

He shrugs. “Tell her what you told me. He wouldn’t stop. It was an accident. You were protecting Y/N.” Damon looks at you. “I know you two used to be close, so even if she’s mad about it, she’ll understand. I won’t let her do anything in terms of the agreement, I’ll, as Elijah always says,” he says with a smirk, “keep my word. And hey, you might even win brownie points for defending her.”

“Thank you.”

“Just don’t let it happen again. Next time someone starts shit, call me to compel them away, or call Liz.”

“Okay,” you reply.

“Speaking of compulsion,” he adds, “how’d you get this apartment?” 

You’re quiet for a moment, then admit, “Caroline helped.” He laughs. “Don’t tell Bonnie.”

Damon puts his hands up as if to surrender. “Not a peep.”

“She said I remind her of someone named Klaus,” Kai offers. 

“Ah. Yes! Baby Klaus.”

You shake your head, offended. “Not at all!”

“I’m kidding!”

“You’re a jerk.”

“All kidding, sourpuss. Alright, off to Liz.”

“Thank you again.”

“Hm. Be good.”

The death was ruled an accident the next day. 

*****

Six months on the dot, Damon summons you and Bonnie back to the boarding house to rule if Kai can stay, or if Bonnie can boot him back to a prison world. The boy is nervous, despite you promising him he has nothing to fear. If anything, she should be the one anxious, upset she can’t go through with her little plan to trap him again. 

The two of you show up right on time, and to your surprise, Elena’s the one to open the door. 

“Hi,” she smiles. You two haven’t seen much of each other lately. Bonnie’s been adamant about her friends avoiding both you and The Grill, and many of their nights have been spent at the Scull Bar instead. 

“Hi,” you greet her back. Kai gives her a smile, too, but nervousness twitches at the tip of his lips. 

“I’ve been seeing the other Parker so much, it’s refreshing to see a different one,” she references Liv and her salty-ass attitude. “Hey, Damon’s said you make a mean cocktail. Put it to the test?”

Damon’s been keeping a secret eye on Kai and reporting everything back to his girlfriend. She wants to believe he’s changed, Caroline, too, and asks the question as a small way to test it. When he gives her a more confident smile and steps inside the house, she takes it as a good sign. 

You follow them inside. 

“Y/N!” Damon welcomes, arms open wide. He pulls you into an unexpected hug, but then whispers in your ear, “careful, she’s bitter.” The hug suddenly makes sense, and you thank him for the warning before hugging back. “And where’s the little weasel?”

“In the kitchen with Elena. She wanted a cocktail.”

“Ah. I may have told her he’s built up a little fanbase at The Grill. Jenny the Drunk is no longer his biggest tipper.”

“So I’ve heard. All the milfs want my man.”

“Well, he is closer in age to them than you.”

“Shut up.”

“Y/N,” Bonnie’s voice interrupts your banter. She smiles at you from afar, eyes clouded with mixed emotions. 

“Hi,” you reply with a similar tone. Not cold, but not exactly warm, either. “How’ve you been?”

“Okay. Been studying a lot. Been helping Jo with… I’ve been busy.”

You nod. “She’s close.”

“Yeah. You know?”

“She stopped coming to meetings.”

“Meetings…?”

“Coven meetings. They’re in Portland, so we have to fly, and she’d always be there, too.”

“You’ve been going to coven meetings?”

“Kai’s the leader, he kinda has to.”

She gulps, as if not expecting him to be so productive in the six month time span. Before she can say anything else, though, Caroline comes out of nowhere with a bright yellow cocktail and a bendy straw. 

“Mhm! You have to try these, they’re so good! Who’d think Kai could make such a good tropical drink? I wouldn’t until thirty seconds ago.”

You laugh. “Where’d the bendy straw come from?”

She shrugs. “Found them in the cupboard, probably Damon’s secret stash. Bonnie, you want to try?”

“No.”

“Okay.” She retreats back to the kitchen, promising she’ll bring you one. 

“Did he learn that skill at The Grill? Matt taught him?”

“He learned in the prison world. They only had to train him on the more modern drinks.” She doesn’t answer. “He’s really been trying. Not only trying, but doing really well.”

“What about-”

“Guys, come in here! Damon’s summoning you,” Caroline calls. 

You share one more glance and then follow her voice to the kitchen. 

“Decision-making time,” Damon announces, fighting with his tongue to find his straw. 

“Preferably before we get drunk,” his girlfriend agrees. 

Bonnie looks less than thrilled. “This agreement was made between Y/N, Damon, and I, and only the three of us will actually be making the decision.”

Her slight attitude makes the room silent. 

Caroline’s the first to speak up. “That’s fair, I guess.”

“Thank you, Caroline.” The girl looks back down at her drink. She made input to keep the peace, not to argue on the behalf of one side or the other. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“You mentioned Kai’s been going to Gemini meetings. Anything else he’s done?”

“Yeah, well, we started with the apartment, then the job. Felt like The Grill would be a good place since he was a regular, and that he’d be comfortable there. With time, I helped him ease into his coven role, and we go to Portland monthly for meetings. Nothing important ever really happens, they all just argue.”

“You mentioned you’ve seen Jo. She’s around eight months now. That hasn’t been a problem?”

“She wasn’t at the last meeting. Her father said he nor Rick wanted her flying. And no, it hasn’t been a problem.”

“He’s not worried about the next set of twins taking over in twenty years?”

“We’ve discussed it, but no, it’s not a problem.”

“What do you mean ‘discussed it’?”

“That’s actually none of your business, Bonnie. The only people who should be concerned with that are those in the Gemini coven, and considering you’re not, you don’t have the right to ask. And, actually, Jo got pregnant and engaged without even consulting her coven, too, so frankly, that business only belongs to Kai and I.” She blinks, not used to being told off so directly. “We’re not concerned about Jo, nor the twins. Besides, that’s over twenty years away, and not worth worrying over right now.”

“Fine. So he’s adapting well?”

“Yes.”

“Bonnie,” Damon starts, “I know we were skeptical, but I think they’ve proven us wrong-”

“One more thing.” You gulp, knowing exactly where she’s headed. “A couple months ago, I read an article where a local bar fight turned deadly. The man’s death was ruled an accident. Do you know anything about that?”

“That was-”

“And don’t you dare lie to me because we both know-”

“I wasn’t going to lie,” you snap back. “If you’d let me talk, I could explain.”

“Oh, so you do know about it? I want to hear it from him,” she nods to Kai. 

Kai’s nervously chewing his lip. When you give him a gentle tilt of your head, he begins to explain. “Okay, yes, that was me. I was defending Y/N. I-”

“We told you no more killing people. The deal’s-”

“Let him explain, Bonnie,” the vampire interrupts.

“You’re defending him?!”

“Just hear him out first.”

Kai looks to Damon, then back at the girl. “The guy got physical with Y/N. He was yelling all this profane shit about her and grabbed at her shirt. When I got in the middle of them, he started hitting at me, and spitting. Every time I tried to shake him off, he’d come back for more. It was a complete accident; I didn’t mean to kill him.”

“So you did kill him.”

“Did you not hear me? I said it was an accident; he was trying to get to Y/N. I wasn’t going to let him touch her.”

“Think about it, Bonnie. If you were there, you would’ve given him a magical headache, and if his brain burst, oh well! The only difference is that Kai didn’t use magic. If anything, it’s better that he didn’t.”

“I’m sorry, I’m still confused. Why are you defending him? And why do you seem to know about this?!”

“I did know about it, okay? And I’m sorry for not telling you, but this is why. He was defending Y/N and I can’t blame him for that. C’mon, Bon. You’ve always been worried about her getting hurt, but he keeps her safe. It’s crazy, even for me to admit, but he does.”

“So you’re okay with him staying? You’re serious?”

“Look, he hasn’t been bothering us. Hasn’t been bothering Jo. This is the only person he’s killed and it was in Y/N’s defense. He makes great cocktails. Let’s just put this whole thing behind us.”

“Bonnie, I’ve missed your friendship these last couple months, and if you give Kai a chance, you’ll see he’s really put in a lot of effort into building a life here.”

She glares at the both of you, then back at him. She even looks to her friends for support. They shrug. “Fine.” She holds up a finger, “but if he falls back into old ways, he’s gone.”

“Thank you, Bon.”

Kai offers his thanks as well, and a second later, you jump at the feeling of his lips on the back of your neck. He apologizes for startling you, but then wraps his arms around your waist. Bonnie watches, both at how unafraid you are of him, and how in love he is with you. She fights the urge to smile, wanting to keep up her cold exterior for a little longer. 

After some time, plans are made to get together for real. There’s a lot of work to be done in rekindling your friendship, but you’re on the path to getting there. As for her negative feelings about Kai, she’s just going to have to see his change for herself. 

*****

That night, you’re curled in bed together when something suddenly harbors in his mind. He hesitates for a moment, unsure if he wants to bring it up; if you even remember it happening, but then curiosity begins to fester in him. 

“Can we talk about something, Y/N?”

“What’s that?”

“I was reminded earlier, when you were talking about Jo to Bonnie… in the hotel room after the first meeting, did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“What you said about, like, having twins? That you’d do it for me?”

You backtrack your mind several months to that conversation. It happened a little like this one - you holding him, him being a little weary about the day’s events. Ah. “Yes.”

He perks up. “Yes, you remember it, or yes, you meant it?”

“Both. I do remember that conversation. And yes, I would give you a set of twins if you wanted to keep your bloodline in the leadership.”

“Why?”

“Why?” You repeat his question, glancing at him to see if he’s serious. His face is riddled with confusion - definitely serious. “Because I love you. And they might have doubts about you, but I have faith in your ability to lead, and I believe you’d be a good father, too.”

Now he crinkles his nose. “Why?”

“Well the man who raised you barely did at all. He isolated you, and hurt you, and treated you like crap just because you were born differently. And despite that, and despite a few bumps along the way, you’ve proven you’re capable of deep, gentle love. You prove it to me daily, and you’ve proven patience at your job and with Bonnie, and understanding. You’ve managed to survive despite the circumstances you’ve been given, and all those things are traits I know you would teach a child, because you’d do everything to prevent raising them like your father raised you; to make sure they grow up in a loving environment, like one you should’ve been given. And, you’d teach them how to survive in this coven, because unfortunately, as leader, you’re still tied to them, but you would teach them how to remain strong. And even if we ever happen to have twins and they’d need to merge, you’d still make sure their lives are meaningful before it.”

Kai’s quiet for a while. “If we did that, I wouldn’t want it just for the benefit of the coven. It would be out of my love for you, and if we have a desire to have kids. Not like Jo, where it was an accident, but not like my father, who only needed a leader.”

You kiss his head. “I agree.”

“So you would be okay with that? If we did, at some point?”

“Of course. When the time comes for that, we can talk about it more, but yes.”

“Good, because I’m not ready now.” He relaxes, but then stiffens again. “But wait, Jo… if we’re trying to beat her to this, don’t we need to do it now?”

You choose your next words carefully, unsure if they even hold any meaning. “Well… if I’m understanding it correctly, the leader’s twins would be next in line, regardless if there’s another set in the family. So even if Jo’s are, say, nine or ten, if we have a set, wouldn’t they be next in line?”

“But they don’t want to continue my line because of the siphon gene.”

“Yes, but you’re still the leader, so maybe we can argue that when the time comes. Besides, we can’t do anything about it now. She’s eight months and I’m, obviously, not even in the same playing field.” You rub his arm comfortingly, or at least, hoping it’ll bring him comfort in light of your next few words. “Maybe… okay. First off, I don’t think Jo wants to participate in the merge with her future kids. She’s already tried to escape this family once, I doubt she wants her kids brought back in it. So maybe if we have a set, she’ll just let them take over.”

“But she might merge them just to prevent my line from continuing in leadership.”

“Or, she might welcome kids raised by you and I to lead instead, if we can prove to her we can raise good kids,” you half-joke. He nods. “Because as much animosity as she has towards you, I really don’t think she wants her kids following in coven tradition. Even so, if she does merge hers, we can just follow right up with ours and take it back.” Kai lets out a small chuckle. “But even if hers do take the leadership, I don’t think they’ll try to hurt you. By then, you’ll be settled in, and we’re already far away from your father. Jo trusts me, I think, and we can continue to make peace with her. We’ll be okay. You’ll be safe, I promise. As long as you’re with me-”

“-I’m safe.”

“Exactly.” You kiss him. “And if by somehow there’s a huge falling out and the coven does get violent again,” you shrug, “we’ll just become vampires.”

At first he laughs, but then grows serious as the words hit him. “You’d really do that with me? Transition and live forever just to keep them from killing me?”

“Mhm. I would live a thousand lives as long as I have you with me in all of them.”

[wbellab]

Cherry flavoured revenge | Regulus Black (part 3)

part 1 part 2

Pairing: Regulus Black x fem! pronouns

Warnings: none

Universe: Harry Potter

Summary: y/n and regulus are arranged to be married and it doesn’t go as planed for the latest.

A/n: umh well… I have disappeared for two years I know but I was randomly reading the two first parts of this series and I thought "I want to know what happens next". Until I obviously figured that I am supposed to write the next part. So here I am !! yay🥳

——

It would be a lie to say that regulus didn’t feel guilty after doing what he had done. That night he heard her cry in her room, he felt like his heart was breaking apart.

They didn’t share the same room. It was impossible for y/n to think about sleeping in the same bed as regulus. She never contemplated this before but after what happened the previous night, she was damn sure she didn’t want anything to do with him. As much as he (she thought) wouldn’t want anything to do with her.

So they lived together, they didn’t speak to each other unless it was absolutely necessary and they only shared nods of acknowledgment each time they were in the same room. It was killing regulus.

He obviously resented her for what she did on their wedding day but after thinking about it, they were equal. He was the one, nearly begging his parents to consider a marriage between The Avery Family and the Black’s. Although it wasn’t really necessary because this idea obviously delighted them, The Avery Family was a noble line of pureblood wizards.

He was the one coercing her into this marriage, so the show she put on their wedding day was only payback. But he made the stupid decision of adding fuel to the fire which worsened the situation.

Regulus has loved her ever since he met her. He wanted to make a good impression the first time he saw her on the train to Hogwarts the First Year. And that’s the reason why he eagerly jumped into the boat she was already in, hoping to be friends with her. Their small conversations went pretty well. If only it wasn’t for his clumsiness, he bumped the boat trying to get out of it and it made her lose her balance and fall into the water.

Regulus felt horrible. He knew that she hated him after this. And she had a good reason to. But never, he gave up on seeking her attention. He apologised countless times and when she only glared at him each time he decided to think that the girl was only to full of herself to accept his apologies. But he still continued annoy her. He felt like it was the only thing able to get a reaction out of her, and he loved it.

In Sixth Year, he realised that not only he liked the bickering and this rivalry between them, he just loved talking to her. He loved seeing her face, seeing her eyes scowling at him, hearing her annoyed voice responding to him. He overall loved her mere presence. Hell, he just loved when her name was mentioned. He loved her.

And now that he had her, now that they were bonded together by marriage, he just couldn’t have her. It was the closest he ever could have gotten her yet she was so far away.

He swore that he would swallow his pride, once they were both married. That he would do anything to make her happy, anything to be able to earn her love. But once again he failed. He nearly drowned her. Now she truly hated him. He couldn’t bear it.

The love he held for her was so deep, the only thought of her hatred for him felt like small cuts through his heart.

And so he did it. He swallowed the smallest of pride left in him, and that being done he started leaving small notes with flowers on the kitchen counter every morning before going to work.

Y/n was beyond surprised the first time she saw the beautiful cherry blossom bouquet and the note on the counter. She didn’t expect this coming from Regulus. Especially because their communication went to zero after everything they went through.

She grabbed the note and was quite surprised to find its content.

Your liking for cherries has caused us quite some trouble. I hope you believe me when I say that if the possibility were to be, I would’ve planted hundreds of Cherry blossoms around the house to satisfy your needs. Seeing as I won’t be able to offer you this, I am begging you to accept this humble bouquet in the hopes of earning one day your forgiveness.

-your secret admirer (for quite some time)

What was he doing ? she asked herself.

That evening he didn’t even mention the flowers nor the note. As if nothing happened. She felt extremely confused and was wondering if she should thank him. They silently ate dinner, both avoiding any eye contact. Once they were done he gave her a smile, one that she could only return before going inside her bedroom.

The next morning, she found once again another note with a new bouquet of flowers. Gypsophilas, her favourites.

Before yesterday I never knew I needed to see you smile in my daily basis. Your smile is one of the kind that could make anyone fall absolutely head over heels for you. The kind of smile that would be cruel not to kiss. You smile like the sun smiles at the earth, one look at you and my breathe goes away. I’m hoping by giving you these I may be close to see the sun of your smile again.

-your secret admirer, always R.A.B

She was getting annoyed by the fact he was giving her those subtle notes filled with his feelings and then ended up ignoring her the evening… But oh how could she not smile after seeing this.

And with a suppressed smile, she wrote him a note back. They spent the next few weeks corresponding through notes. Each one getting more and more intimate.

She felt like she learnt more about him through these pieces of papers in barely two weeks than in the 7 years of having known him at Hogwarts.

One morning she woke up earlier than usually and she found herself stumbling upon Regulus in the kitchen, quill in hand writing his upcoming note.

"I never thought I would catch you doing an act of such deceitfulness." Regulus was taken by surprise when he heard her voice. "Writing so early in the morning to one of your mistresses after a month of marriage ? I never thought you would betray me so fast..." She faked sorrow.

"Caught me." Regulus playfully raised both his hand, giving her a sly smirk. "I never thought you would be awake at this hour."

"Well I never meant for you to wake up this late." She playfully rolled her eyes. "It is 5:30 a.m. You are really letting yourself go." He chuckled at her response.

"I was actually hoping to stumble across you. To be able to talk."

"Regulus-"

"No please listen." He cut her off. "I know I have already made my apologies. Or well written them. But I want to apologise again. All I have written in these notes, everything was true. I am extremely sorry for everything I have put you through, from our time to Hogwarts, all the brawling, and even this wedding. I absolutely had no reason to do all of this. Or well, actually I did. But I should’ve never put you through all of this just because I was so absolutely in love with you that I couldn’t deal with my feelings. I should’ve talked to you and it was extremely wrong of me to-"

She had a way of making all his body melt to find hers in a second because at the moment he felt her lips touch his, all he could do was try to feel, to explore every inch of her body.

"I love you." She simply said. And when Regulus thought he couldn’t feel much better he felt his heart race a mile and more and he kissed her again.

"I love you." He answered. "More and more. I always have." They smiled.

"Do you want to know something ?" She said after a few seconds of staring at each other.

"Tell me."

"I don’t even like the taste of cherries."

[rosetterer]

the peace the evening brings (by rosetterer)

(Sequel to mornings are sweeter with you and such a perfect day)

Summary:

”Only one cup?” Chimney asks when Hen comes to stand in front of them. There truly is only one cup of coffee in her hands. ”Yeah,” she says with a small smile and shoots a smirk at Buck. ”Turns out, it was a delivery for a certain Evan.” "Evan?" Chimney asks, sounding confused, and then mirrors the smirk on Hen's lips. "Oh, Evan.” - A horrible shift + a second date (just bucktommy continuing to be cute af)

Read on AO3: the peace the evening brings - rosetterer - 9-1-1 (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Or continue reading here:

The sun is beginning to rise and that usually means one of two things: either their shift is about to calm down even more because the darkness of the night will soon fade away or more calls are about to start coming in with the traffic that will be created when people start making their way to work.

Buck doesn't say the Q-word and he certainly doesn't mention how he thinks it's going to be a Q-day. He almost wishes something were to happen. There are only so many games to play or meals to be cooked.

After checking the firetruck and all its supplies, he helped a couple set up a car seat in their new car.

In other words, it has been a very boring start to their shift.

”Ooh, who’s ordered us coffee?” Hen says then, sitting up from her lounching position on the couch.

Buck turns to look around at what she’s looking at with a hopeful smile on her face and sees a nervous-looking young man typing something on his phone and holding a cup holder in his other hand.

”Maybe this is one of those influencer things,” Chimney speaks up.

Hen raises her eyebrows at him.

"You know, those ones where they do nice things for others for views," he explains. "Maybe this time around they decided to treat firefighters for coffee."

”If that was the case, I think they would’ve come here themself,” Hen tells him and gets up on her feet.

”Unless they’re filming the delivery guy and us from some bush nearby,” Buck joins the conversation.

Chimney smiles at him and gives a nod, ”Exactly!”

”Whatever it is, I’m getting the caffeine,” Hen tells them and makes her way to the delivery guy.

Buck turns around on the couch to face them so that he can see how it all goes down. He is genuinely interested in who it is that has decided to bless them with coffee. Maddie likes to do such things every once in a while, especially on special days, but as far as Buck is aware, today is nothing special. He doesn't think.

Hen talks to the delivery guy for a surprising amount of time and if Buck didn’t know that she was a lesbian, he would’ve teased her about flirting with the guy when she finally makes her way back to them.

”Only one cup?” Chimney asks when Hen comes to stand in front of them.

There truly is only one cup of coffee in her hands.

”Yeah,” she says with a small smile and shoots a smirk at Buck. ”Turns out, it was a delivery for a certain Evan.”

"Evan?" Chimney asks, sounding confused, and then mirrors the smirk on Hen's lips. "Oh, Evan.”

A sheepish smile rises on Buck's lips as he reaches for the coffee cup. On the side of it, there is a crappy sketch of what looks somewhat like a cloud and a rainbow (with no color in it.) Right on top of the probably-a-cloud, it says: Have a good shift, Ev.

”So…” Chimney begins, having slid closer to him in the blink of an eye, startling Buck slightly. ”What’s with this… ’Evan’ thing?”

”W- What do you mean?” Buck mumbles out, taking a quick sip of the coffee. It’s still nice and warm.

”Nobody calls you Evan,” Hen joins in.

”Maddie does,” Buck reminds her, looking between the two. ”And my parents do.”

”We never do,” Chimney says.

”So?”

”I think what he means is…” Hen starts, moving closer, ”As far as we know, none of the people you’ve ever dated have called you Evan and you never really introduce yourself as that, so… How’d that happen?”

”He…” Buck begins and gives a small shrug. ”He saw my name on my Starbucks cup and just… Has called me that since then.”

”You give them your real name at Starbucks?” Chimney asks then, seeming even more confused and Buck is just happy to move on with the conversation.

It’s not that he doesn’t like to talk about Tommy. He loves it. But he also wants to keep this to himself. It’s so new still. They haven’t been able to go on a second date yet. Haven’t even seen each other in two weeks because of their shifts. It’s been hard but they’ve been texting and it’s also been so good. He just misses him.

”Buck?”

”What?” Buck asks and then shakes his head, ”Oh yeah, right. Uh, I… They wrote ’Fuck’ on my cup last year and I don’t want them to do that again, so… Evan.”

Hen nods, sitting down next to him, ”That makes sense.”

When silence washes over them, Buck allows himself to relax again. He leans against the back of the couch and sips on his coffee as he fishes his phone out of his pocket. The phone flops clumsily into his lap as he uses his left hand to get it, and finds Tommy's name at the top of the list of people who he has been texting.

How much did you pay some poor barista to draw a sad black and white rainbow on my cup?

Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. Any good?

It’s perfect. Thanks. ❤️

❤️

”So, how’s it going?” Chimney asks, blurting out the question with such force that it seems like he was truly trying to hold it back.

”It’s going fine,” Buck tells him, pocketing his phone and sipping his coffee.

Hen squints at him, ”You’re being weird.”

”I don’t know what you mean,” he replies and sips again.

"Usually when you're really into someone, you can't shut up about them," Hen tells him and Chimney nods vigorously in agreement, "I even asked Bobby if you've talked to him about this Tommy and he said you haven't."

”That suspicious,” Chimney says.

”Look,” Buck says with a sigh and sets the cup down. ”We haven’t been able to go on another date yet, even though we both very much want that, and that’s that. Everything’s fine.”

”Fine?” Hen asks, raising her eyebrows.

"That sounds… exciting," Chimney mumbles and shoots him a look. "What does that mean? Fine? Like… There's no heat?"

There hasn’t been much time for there to be heat, Buck thinks to himself. But it’s certainly bubbling under the surface of their new relationship. He felt it when he first met Tommy. When their hands touched for the first time. When they kissed.

Buck doesn’t answer Chimney’s question but gives him a look that hopefully makes it clear that what he’s asking is ridiculous.

Hen lowers her voice, ”Have you guys had sex yet?”

Buck’s mind goes blank, mostly because he didn’t expect Hen to be the one to ask such a question but it seems that she is more curious about the relationship than she leads on. Also, because it’s none of their business.

Also, because the mere thought makes his heart beat just a little faster.

”You know…” Buck begins, instead of telling his friends off. ”I’ve really got a feeling that today’s going to be a quiet day.”

The looks sent his way would definitely kill if the saying was true but Buck only laughs. He takes the cup in his hand again, downs the rest of his coffee, and gets up. He places the cup in his locker, puts on his gear (which gets him an odd look from Bobby who happens to be passing by), and waits.

And then, the alarm goes off.

-

The universe responds to his comment by sending them to a housefire, from which they thankfully manage to save everyone. If they hadn't, Buck would definitely have had to take a couple of weeks off because of the guilt. Eddie, of course, already told him that even if something bad had happened, it wouldn't have been his fault because, in reality, the universe doesn't care whether he said that it was going to be a quiet shift or not.

But still. Buck feels relieved.

But the moment that he’s about to step back into the firetruck, tired and dirty from soot, his phone decides to drop onto the ground and when he panics and tries to catch it, he ends up stepping on it as well.

"Damn it," he mumbles, taking his poor phone into his hand and turning it on.

Half of the screen flickers, and the other doesn't.

”God fucking damn it,” he swears again as he climbs in, and finds that Chimney and Hen are having the time of their life because of his misfortune. ”Yes, I’m sure you two are really enjoying this. Oh, come on, I was meant to-”

He pauses. Hen stops laughing and looks at him.

”Meant to… What?” She asks, curious now.

”Nothing,” Buck mumbles, trying to make himself small in the corner of his seat as Bobby begins to drive.

”He was supposed to text Tommy,” Chimney teases with the biggest grin on his face. ”Poor Buckaroo, you’re going to have to send him smoke signals or something.”

”You can use my phone,” Eddie tells him then. Thank God for Eddie. ”If you can remember his number...”

Buck glances over at Chimney and Hen, who are now whispering to each other about something that hopefully has nothing to do with Buck, and takes the phone that Eddie is offering him.

He does, in fact, remember Tommy’s number. He has stared at the cup with his number written on the side of it every single day before his shift.

Hi! I wrecked my phone, so I have to use Eddie's. I'm still coming over this evening, right? The plan hasn't changed? -Buck

It doesn’t take long for Tommy to reply.

Hi. Yes, we’re still on for this evening.

Can’t wait to see you.

Buck smiles and doesn't care that Chimney and Hen's attention has turned to him again.

Me neither.

He makes sure to delete the texts before he hands the phone over to Eddie with a mumbled ’thanks.’

-

The rest of the shift isn't any better and Buck really is regretting that Q-word now.

When they come back from their hopefully last call and the B-shift starts slowly rolling in, Buck throws himself on the couch and closes his eyes, hoping to take one of those micro naps. But instead of peace and quiet, his brain decides to replay every single call of the shift: the multiple housefires, a factory explosion, a car accident involving teens…

He’s never going to say that word again. He’s going to have to find synonyms. Maybe the universe won’t catch those.

Noiseless. Soundless. Muted. Faint. Silent.

”Buck?”

He blinks his tired eyes open, quickly realizing that he managed to fall asleep for just a little moment.

Eddie’s looking down at him, ”You were talking in your sleep. Well, listing things, I guess.”

”Oh,” he mumbles, a little embarrassed that he’d been saying his list of synonyms out loud. ”It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

”You do know that this shift wasn’t your fault, right? No matter what those two say,” Eddie continues, nodding his head toward Chimney and Hen, who are in the kitchen, chatting. ”They just like to tease you.”

”Yeah, I know,” Buck says and puts on a smile. ”I’ll get over it.”

”Good,” Eddie says and pats him on the shoulder a couple of times. ”Because the universe doesn’t care about what you have to say.”

Buck frowns, ”Well-”

”It doesn’t! It doesn’t care about what anyone says!” Eddie lets him know as he walks away with a smile. ”Look: Oh, I bet it’s going to be quiet today.”

Hen and Chimney don’t hear him but the B-shift does and Eddie gets a good death glare from them. Buck chuckles.

And the alarm… It doesn’t go off.

-

The micro nap he managed to get really helps him feel confident in driving over to Tommy's house even though the sun is setting and he still feels a little tired. The traffic isn't bad and he gets to Tommy's place a lot faster than he imagined he would.

Tommy’s talked about his house a lot, especially the amount of renovations he’s done on it over the years, and Buck has seen pictures but it’s different seeing it in front of his eyes. The house isn’t huge but the garage definitely makes it seem bigger than it is.

The front door is painted green. Buck knocks.

He sees a light come on and hears footsteps. The door opens.

”Hey Evan,” Tommy says with a smile.

”Hi,” Buck whispers back, answering the smile with his own.

They stare at each other for what feels like a small eternity and then, Tommy steps out of the way.

”Come on in,” he says. ”I just finished cooking, if you’re hungry.”

”Kind of starving,” Buck tells him, his eyes flickering to Tommy’s lips. Involuntarily, of course.

Tommy seems to notice but doesn't say anything. Just smiles again, places his hand on Buck's waist for a split second, and makes his way into the kitchen.

Buck follows.

The house is… warm. That's the only way he can describe it. When he steps into the kitchen, he feels like he's stepped into another country, maybe Italy, and like an Italian grandmother is about to walk in any moment now to stir the pasta or get started on a pizza dough.

That might be a little stereotypical but that’s how he feels. Plus, he knows that Tommy’s grandmother is Italian, so that probably has something to do with it.

”This is so nice,” Buck comments on the decor and leans against one of the kitchen counters.

Tommy smiles as he dips a spoon into some kind of sauce and holds it out to Buck, ”Thanks, baby. Tell me, is this any good?”

Buck blows on the little bit of sauce at the tip of the spoon and tastes it. It’s unlike any kind of pasta sauce Bobby has ever taught him to make and it’s so good. He lets out a small, satisfied groan and it makes Tommy laugh.

”I take it it’s good.”

”It’s so good,” Buck tells him.

-

The need to kiss Tommy grows over dinner. It has been far too long since he has felt those lips against his and ever since that first date, he has wanted to do nothing but kiss him again. Tommy talks about his day off, and what he'd done around the house and Buck listens with, what he is sure looks like, actual hearts coming out of his eyes.

Tommy’s eyes sparkle as he smiles, ”What?”

”What?” Buck mumbles right back, breaking himself out of a trance.

”You keep looking at me,” he says. ”And I finished my story about a minute ago.”

”I can’t help it that I love the way you look,” Buck finds himself saying.

Blood rushes to his cheeks immediately but before he can take anything back (he doesn’t want to take anything back), Tommy chuckles and lowers his eyes at his mostly empty plate.

”You’re very sweet, Evan,” he says.

”So are… So are you,” Buck tells him.

He desperately wants to reach out to hold Tommy’s hand but before he has the chance to even suggest such a thing, Tommy places his palms against the table as he begins to stand up.

”Why don’t we clean up and take this over to the couch?” He suggests.

And whatever this is, Buck is more than in.

-

Tommy’s arm is resting on the back of the couch right behind Buck’s shoulders as he searches through what movie they should put on. He keeps asking for Buck’s opinion and he keeps replying with: Whatever you want.

”Is there something wrong, Evan?” Tommy asks when Love, Actually begins to play.

Buck blinks, ”W- What do you mean?”

”You’ve been a bit quiet,” Tommy says gently, and finally, finally, wraps his arm around Buck’s shoulders and pulls him closer. ”Which, I get. You said you had a rough shift, I just… Want to know if everything’s okay.”

Buck opens his mouth, then closes it again. Gets lost in Tommy’s eyes once more.

”And you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Tommy continues. ”Just-”

”I really want to kiss you,” Buck blurts out.

Tommy blinks at him, ”Oh.”

”And I really, really want you to kiss me,” Buck says, unable to stop himself anymore. ”Why haven’t you?”

”Well, Evan,” Tommy says and takes hold of his hand. Buck feels himself melt. ”This is only our second date and on our first date, I told you that we’d go at your pace, so… I’ve kind of been sounding you out all evening and-”

”And it hasn’t seemed like I’ve wanted you to kiss me?” Buck asks but before Tommy can answer, he scoots just a little closer. ”Because I do. I don’t want you to worry whether I want this or not, because I do. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted something, someone, this badly. I want you to hold my hand and wrap your arm around me when you feel like it. I want you to kiss-”

The arm around his shoulders tightens a little bit and pulls him closer. And then, those soft lips are pressing against his, moving slowly and Buck could cry from relief.

When Tommy pulls away, he rests his forehead against his.

”Like that?” He asks.

Buck feels breathless, ”Yeah, that works.”

Tommy chuckles, ”Good to know.”

And then kisses him again.

-

The last rays of the sun, barely peeking over the horizon make Tommy’s living room look almost golden. Buck snuggles a little closer as the movie keeps playing and takes his phone out of his pocket to check the time.

Only when a sharp corner of the broken screen pokes him in a very unpleasant way, does he remember what happened earlier that day.

”You okay?” Tommy asks immediately.

His finger, thankfully, isn’t bleeding but Buck handles the phone with more care as he sets it down on the couch in front of him.

”Yeah, just this damn thing…” He mumbles.

”You really wrecked it, huh?”

”It fell on the ground and then I stepped on it,” Buck says. ”I doubt it’s worth fixing anymore. That’ll probably cost as much as getting a new phone.”

”Mmh,” Tommy says, rubbing his thumb against his collarbone. It makes Buck shiver. ”I did do a little shopping today, you know…”

Buck looks up at him, ”Yeah?”

”Yeah,” Tommy says with a small smile. ”I remembered which kind of phone you have, so I bought a new screen and a back glass for it. I’ve fixed quite a lot of phones, so I’ve got plenty of pieces I can use to fix yours. It might not work but I can try.”

”Wait,” Buck says as he sits up. ”You, the man who refuses to download any kind of social media app on his phone, knows how to fix a phone?”

"Well, those are two very different things, Evan," Tommy explains, his hand coming to rest on Buck's thigh. "I like to fix things, not watch… Five-second clips of someone… I don't know, reviewing hair products?"

”That’s not all that TikTok-” Buck shakes his head. They’ve had this conversation many times over the phone. ”Let’s not get into that again. Do you really think you can fix it?”

"I'm not going to cause any more damage to it," Tommy tells him.

”Alright,” Buck says with a nod. ”That’s kind of hot.”

Tommy throws his head back in laughter.

-

Buck hadn’t been joking. He’s sitting on a very uncomfortable stool right next to Tommy’s workbench in the garage and a man who knows what he’s doing… It’s making him feel some type of way.

The insides of his phone are scattered on the table, in Tommy’s words: in an order that makes sense to him, and Buck already got one slap on the back of his hand for having messed with this order, and that awakened something else within him that he just couldn’t even begin to deal with right now.

As he leans his cheek against his hand and watches Tommy work, a terribly soft feeling takes over him. It’s peaceful and hopeful of the future. He has imagined a future with his partners in the past but never after only a second date. But this feels so easy, so natural… Like it’s meant to be.

He thinks about Eddie’s words about the universe and how it doesn’t care about what he has to say. And he’s still not sure whether he believes in something more powerful than himself or any other human being on this earth, but if the universe does listen to him, at least every once in a while, he would like to thank it for the man in front of him.

"I'll start putting it back together now. It should be fixed," Tommy mumbles, takes the first piece, and places it back inside the phone.

”You’re amazing,” Buck finds himself whispering.

A soft but surprised smile spreads on Tommy's face and God, Buck wants to kiss him. He will before he has to leave.

”Thank you, baby,” he says and places a hand on Buck’s thigh for just a fast moment before getting back to work. ”You’re quite amazing too.”

”Do you really think it’ll work?” Buck says, glancing at the phone.

”Mmh, I hope so,” Tommy tells him. ”I’ll just put the new screen on and it’ll be as good as new.”

Buck glances at the watch on Tommy’s wrist. It’s nearing midnight.

”There we go,” Tommy says after another ten minutes or so as he has reassembled the phone. ”Now the screen.”

Buck watches him work again. Despite his big hands and thick fingers, he works smoothly, like he has done this many times before. Maybe he has.

When the screen is in place, Tommy takes the phone and rubs it against a rag he finds on his workbench, cleaning up the screen from any possible smudge or piece of dust. Then, he holds the phone out to Buck with a proud smile.

”There we go, Evs,” he says. ”It’s the moment of truth.”

Buck takes the phone in his hand, careful not to drop it again, and presses the button on its side to turn it on.

And it does turn on and the whole screen works. There are no cracks.

”This is insane,” he says, looking up at Tommy. ”Where’d you learn to do all this?”

”I’ve been fixing things my whole life, kid,” he says, and Buck has to swallow at the nickname to calm himself down. ”I like to learn stuff like this in my free time. Comes in handy every once in a while. Especially when a cute guy needs his phone fixed.”

Buck places the phone back on the workbench and leans a little closer, ”And how many cute guys’ phones have you fixed?”

Tommy pretends to think about it for a moment before lowering his voice and leaning closer to him, ”Well… Only this one, really damn cute guy.”

”Mmh,” Buck hums with a smile. ”Must be a lucky guy.”

He is the one to press their lips together and when Tommy’s hand comes to rest on the back of his neck, heavy and warm, Buck moans into the kiss. Thankfully, this doesn’t seem to scare Tommy off and instead, he only deepens the kiss.

Buck stands up, awkwardly leaning down to keep their lips locked and Tommy’s hands slip to his hips. His ass is pressed against the workbench in a very uncomfortable way but he doesn’t care. He runs his hands through Tommy’s hair, messing it up, and allows them to travel down to his arms.

Those muscular, strong arms.

He has to pull away. Tommy looks a little dazed. Buck feels the same way.

”You okay?” Tommy asks, a little out of breath.

”Mmh,” Buck says, still stroking his arms and enjoying the feeling of muscle beneath his palms. ”But it’s midnight.”

”And?”

"And I can't stay the night," Buck says. Before Tommy gets the chance to say something, he continues, "It's not that I don't want to. God, I want to and there's something really hot about you having this workbench, and… God, that's the issue. If I stay the night, I know what'll end up happening."

”On the workbench?” Tommy asks, the tiniest of smirks on his lips.

"Maybe," his answer comes out as a punched-out breath of air.

”Sorry,” Tommy says with a chuckle and strokes his thumb along the tiny sliver of bare skin between the hem of Buck’s shirt and the waistband of his pants. ”I guess… I also know what would happen if you stayed the night and… Just like I said before, we can go at your pace, Evan.”

”I want to,” Buck promises him, ”I really do. But I’ve got a shift tomorrow and maybe… We can go on a third date and then think about it. I don’t want to rush this, Tommy.”

”Me neither,” Tommy agrees.

”Because I think…” Buck starts carefully. ”I think this could be something special.”

He gulps, feeling a little nervous. He watches Tommy’s face, waiting for a reply or some kind of look that will tell him that he has crossed a line and that it’s way too soon to say things like that to one another.

But instead, Tommy smiles again, ”I think so too, Evan.”

”God, I’m glad that I was late for work that day,” Buck says with a relieved laugh. ”Or, well, that I didn’t care that I was late and wanted my coffee.”

”And thank God that my friend made me think I could get a Pride rainbow cup from Starbucks,” Tommy says. ”Somehow, I managed to get a boyfriend instead.”

”B- Boyfriend?” Buck stutters.

”Oh shit,” Tommy mumbles. ”I’m sorry, it’s way too soon, I mean, we’ve only known each other for… God, I don’t even-”

”Tommy,” Buck stops him and rests his hands on his shoulders. ”It’s okay.”

The look in Tommy’s eyes brighten, ”Yeah?”

”Yeah,” Buck says with a nod. ”I mean, I know that we haven’t known each other for that long and I still have to come out to my parents but… I’d like to be your boyfriend. I mean, we’re dating, so…”

”Yeah,” Tommy agrees. ”Yeah, okay.”

”So… I’ll see you next weekend,” Buck says and adds, ”Boyfriend.”

Tommy grins, stroking Buck’s hips once more before getting up, ”250 pounds.”

”Hm?” Buck shoots him a confused look.

”The workbench can hold 250 pounds,” Tommy says, eyes flickering to Buck’s lips.

”Oh,” Buck says and breathes out, ”Y- Yeah, I can- We can make that work.”

”Mmh,” Tommy hums and then chuckles.

”You can’t just say shit like that when you know I can’t stay the night, Tommy” Buck whines.

Tommy holds his hands up, ”Sorry, sorry. Couldn’t help myself.”

Buck shakes his head at him, laughing as well. He presses a kiss on his cheek, ”Walk me out?”

Tommy nods and takes his hand in his, ”Of course.”

[pabit]

Hi, its Patrick speaking.

Michael somehow locked up both of the camera creeps in the bathroom. I guess they were freaking him out while he was repairing the door or some shit? The footage is pretty much useless, which is a bit irritating…but I’ve transcribed the audio for you all here. I think its crucial to provide the full word-for-word conversation.

----

> welp…the hole has been patched. i will have to replace the entire door eventually but um, this will work for right now.

> …

> uh…

> ......

> habit?

> …YES?

> are you...upset about what i said earlier?

> WHAT? NO NO…IM FINE. > don’t even worry about it.

> …you’re lying.

> no i’m not—

> habit…i may be mentally unwell, but im not stupid. i know that look in your eyes. i know that tone in your voice. ive seen it all before - i was practically raised on the sadness of my institutionalized peers.

> IS THAT HOW YOU SEE THE HABIT? AS ONE OF THOSE PATHETIC FUCKING CRAZY HUMANS?

> ah…i wouldnt describe them that harshly but i mean, basically yeah? > they are just people with problems man…many of whom have done some fucked up things, patrick and myself included. mostly though, they are kinda just…sad. Because they keep fucking up, or getting fucked up, and they dont know how to stop it. evidently you are not much different from them or myself in that way

> so uh— i just wanna say that i’m sorry for my behavior. i was being a jackass and it was uncalled for. i wanted to believe you deserved that and much worse but…i dunno. spewing blind hatred like that doesnt sit right with me.

> ….... > no. don’t apologize.

> what? why not?

> nothing you said was inaccurate nor unjustified, michael. why be sorry about that?

> because, uh…you apologized to me first? an' well, thats unlike you. at least, its unlike whatever i thought of you before today. maybe patrick is onto something…and maybe i was little too quick to judgment.

> HA…ARE YOU SURE YOURE NOT STUPID? I’VE DESTROYED MORE THAN JUST YOUR DOOR. I KILLED—

> i know. i know. and i dunno if i’ll ever truly forgive you for taking my brother away…but like. i also can recognize the value of an apology. it’s a good start, if you really mean it.

> …

> do you mean it, habit? are you actually sorry?

> I HAVE NOTHING TO GAIN FROM LYING TO YOU.

> sure– unless you think appeasing me is what will keep yourself from being kicked out and left to die alone

[HABIT laughs]

> I’D BE A MORON TO SINCERELY BELIEVE THAT. YOU AND PATRICK HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BAR ME FROM THIS PLACE, AT ANY TIME, FOR ANY REASON. I ACCEPT THAT. I WOULD DESERVE IT. AND ONE WAY OR ANOTHER…I WILL DIE WITH ALL OF MY REGRETS RIGHT BESIDE ME.

> I APOLOGIZED BECAUSE, WELL…I BELIEVE YOU DESERVE ONE, WHILE I STILL HAVE THE TIME TO GIVE IT. ONE LESS REGRET TO TAKE TO THE GRAVE, EH? > there is no other reason.

> you believe i deserve an apology, huh...

> ERRR…YEAH. > I CANT PRETEND LIKE I FULLY UNDERSTAND ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH MY ACTIONS HAVE AFFECTED YOU…BUT UM...

> YOU LOST SOMEONE DEEPLY IMPORTANT TO YOU. I HAVE LOST SOMEONE RECENTLY TOO. AND UH, IT…HURTS. IT HURTS AND IM THE ONLY MONSTER TO BLAME. > IF THE PAIN I LIVE WITH NOW IS EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO WHAT I’VE DONE TO YOU…THEN YES…i am sorry.

> I KNOW THAT WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH AND WONT FIX A DAMN THING...SO THROW ME OUT, IF YOU MUST. I WILL GO WITHOUT QUESTION.

> …

> …

> …

> …WELL?

> ...... . . . . . .........

> MICHAEL?

> …ugh…uh, hey…habit.

> ERR— PATRICK?

> heh…you got it…

> sorry im…still a bit fuzzy upstairs at the moment.

> UM. OKAY. SIT DOWN THEN?

[I flopped into the couch next to Habit, kinda bracing against him to ground myself.]

> SO UM– > IS MICHAEL ALRIGHT?

> Michael…? Oh right. > He’s fine.

> …THAT'S ALL? JUST FINE?

> Ugh– dude my head is killing me right now, gimme a break…

> OH. SORRY.

> Its– its okay, Habit. This is nothing out of the ordinary, really…it happens pretty often when I come around.

> AH…

> Anyways, ummmm…yeah! > Michael is fine. Processing everything, but he's fine. I won't go into more detail though…it's not really my place to talk about his feelings about you, after all. He will come back to say what he needs to when he is ready.

> AND IF HE IS NEVER READY…? IF HE WANTS ME GONE?

> Luckily for you, Mikey doesn't have the only say in that matter. You still have me, Habs – and I want you to be here.

> ................

----

Habit didn't say anything else after that, so thats when I decided to get up and let the creeps out of the bathroom. Now I'm in the kitchen; finishing up this post and waiting for this batch of cookies to bake. I'm just trying to give Hab's brain a moment to catch up with itself, y'know? You know. Whatever. Hopefully the sweets will lighten the mood. I promise I wont eat them all this time, heh.

It also appears that I have missed some interesting bits of insight while out of the house today, so I will check back in later once I am better informed and Habit has gotten a few dozen cookies in his stomach.

[ask] >>

[0vergrowngraveyard]

Omg I can relate so much!! I have a stutter, ever since I was a kid and the amount of times I just gave up on a sentence is ridiculous. Some days, I talk fine, just a few stumbles here and there, but other times, it's cranked up to 11 for no reason and it's so infuriating. I just want to talk, but my mouth is like: haha no :)

Like my jaw literally locks up and no word will come out for a second before it starts back up again. Which totally doesn't help with my anxiety when the other person is looking at you, waiting for you to finish. It's like (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

Also, do you by any chance struggle in saying your own name? Because for the life of me, whenever I want to introduce myself, I always mess it up. It comes to a point that when I order something, and they ask my name, I say a random name because it's so much easier lol.

The joys of having a speech impediment 🙃🙃🙃

fellow stutter haver!!

i’ve also had mine since i was kid. i used to go to speech therapy for it and that shit did not help at all 😭 the only good that came from it was i got a tootsie roll whenever i completed some paper thing (i forgor what it was) and got to skip class lmao

you’re actually so right about it either being non existent or ruining every interaction ever. its like a 50/50 chance ill have a decent conversation or apologize profusely after every sentence. whenever the latter happens, i just consider never speaking ever again istg its so annoying and embarrassing augh

and yeah i had to force out my own name today actually! i thought it was just something that happened with my deadname but nope! i have to put effort into saying my chosen name and nickname too. let me introduce myself like a normal person!!!!

i also struggle a lot with reading out loud a lot 😭 bestie and i were playing mouthwashing last night and it would take me so long just to read dialogue out loud (we assigned ourselves characters to read out) unless i was completely in character. half of the time i just gave up lmao

i can’t have social anxiety and a speech impediment. it’s just not fair

[dis-aster9255]

Hi hi hello this is gonna be both a mix of like actual character analysis and a few headcanons cause these characters haven't left my head for two months.

But yeah I'm gonna be applying the idea that Steven, Marc, and Jake are all autistic and it's not just Steven. (based on what I know and my own experiences) :D

(Warning: it's long.)

Steven:

Okay so Steven is the one with the most visible evidence because i believe he's the only one who doesn't try to mask

He either does not care what people think of him or straight up doesn't notice that he's acting differently than "normal"

When he's confused he'll just straight up ask like with Dylan ("are you asking me out??")

The hyperfixation/special interest in ancient egypt. He's learning ancient egyptian and hieroglyphics he's SERIOUS

He works at a museum specifically because of that as well

Taking literally any chance he can to talk about it even if the people he's talking to clearly don't care (ex. Donna)

He got so excited when Layla knew what he was talking about like come on

Also ROUTINE

Every evening he adds the tape on his door, replaces the sand, and puts the ankle restraint on before going to sleep

Ik that's supposed to be because of Marc but it's a routine and it's clearly always done the same every night.

Calls his mother every day even if she doesn't answer (we know why but :( )

Also the necklace. It's barely visible but it is there every day

The way he stands:

Need i say more? I don't but I will

Seriously though I'm pretty sure whenever he's fronting he's like never standing still

Either like this or messing with whatever is in his hands

The rubix cube. He can finish that thing without looking at this point its not a puzzle it's a fidget object.

Now for some not fun things

He gets overwhelmed at least twice in the show

Once after he finds out everything with his mom and once with Layla

The one with Layla I understand completely, stressful situation along with two people yelling at you is the worst thing and I know the exact feeling.

Either way both times he was constantly repeating the same word over and over again while basically folding in on himself to avoid whatever was happening around him.

On a lighter note Steven expresses his genuine excitement openly

He was dead but he was still so happy he finally was able to meet someone who knows what he's talking about in ep 5

Idk how to transiton to Marc but HERE WE GO

Marc:

Okay so while I was doing this I realized I related to Marc a lot damn

Anyways Marc masks the majority of the time

Like all the time I don't think he ever hasn't even around Layla

His voice is so monotone and the way he expresses the changes in emotion is by getting either louder or quieter instead of anything else

That entire scene with Mogart and the sarcophagus. There is not way he wasn't forcing every aspect of that interaction

Holding out his hand until Mogart finally shook it because "this is how normal interactions start right???"

When he's asked why he wants to see the sarcophagus he has no idea how to respond and gives the most non-answer ever. Everyone thinks it's weird but he doesn't notice, it worked so whatever

Episode 5

We all know Marc hides his emotions

It's obvious

But what if he's hiding them because they're too much for him to handle, or he just straight up doesn't understand them

He runs from problems cause he doesn't want to confront his feelings

He ran from Layla because the issue with Khonshu was too much to deal with instead of having one conversation about it

He ran from his mother's shiva cause it was too many conflicting emotions

And when Steven was reliving the worst memory of his life he ran again (idk if it's like actually canon or not but I believe that while Steven was going through the memory he could hear the whole thing echoing through the hallways)

He also seems like the type to not show emotion on his face unless it's a strong one, but that's just what I think I've not no actual evidence for this

Anyways like with Steven he also gets overwhelmed a few times in the series

And he does what not many people are willing to talk about and gets aggressive when that happens yayyyyy /lhj

Seriously though in the scene in ep 5 when he doesn't want to confront his mother's abuse again

Yelling and hitting himself repeatedly same man same

In ep 2 when Steven is yelling at him through the mirror he breaks it so he can get some silence and then gets tormented by Khonshu which rude, asshole

Aggression can seem like the easiest way to deal with things so I get it, it happened quite a few times in this show

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

He also gets hyperfixations he just doesn't exactly have the time to indulge himself

The movie

Idk how much we should trust therapist Harrow in certain things but he made a note to mention that Marc has watched that movie a LOT

He loved that movie as a kid

He doesn't have much of a routine besides putting everything back the way it was before Steven can wake up but I think he deserves one

Jake:

This is gonna be short he had four minutes of screen time and two of those minutes have not actually been confirmed

But yeah he seems like he'd also not care about masking

Though I think if he gets too overwhelmed (which would probably take a lot for it to happen) he'd just end up retreating

Or if it's just someone being annoying he'd deal with them himself (maybe just a good punch in the face no big deal right guys /hj)

Kinda a mix of what both Steven and Marc do it just depends on the situation

Also this is just a thought but I think he'd be the type to be constantly forcing expressions cause he does not have the energy to explain himself verbally

Like yeah he expresses things visually but he over exaggerates them to get the point across if that makes sense

Anyways that's all I have

Kinda went on a rant but I hope it makes sense

I'd be happy to hear anybody else's opinions as well :)