#gets relegated back to emotional support

[lizzieraindrops]

You know what, I figured out why we're having so many errors in Destiny 2 now. It's because with the addition of Micah-10, we've finally reached a critical mass of women with drop dead gorgeous voices, and the game simply can't handle it anymore. It's like Telesto. Too powerful. If they'd actually put Ikora Rey in a rendered cutscene for more than 5 seconds it would have shut down the servers for good

[quillyfied]

Happy Halloween and Happy Ghostfuckers, time to dig into the chest cavity of this episode and not come back out until the next! Another banger of an episode; someone in the Helluva Boss tag called it the Truth Seekers of season 2, and I am so inclined to agree, actually. Equal parts reaction and analysis, and 100% spoilers, like, did that even need to be said?

First: MILLIE MY BELOVED. After a season and a half (over five whole years) of some pretty lukewarm development and attention, having this episode start off with Millie being her happy cheerful self is already such a breath of fresh air, especially given the relentless nonstop personal drama Blitzo and Stolas have been part of for the last couple of episodes. It’s great that this episode is starting after a brief time skip, too; feels more natural for an audience that has had three months to process it all. Watching Millie step right into emotional support is amazing, too, for reasons that have been hinted at before; Happy Campers was so good for her and Moxxie’s characters and I’m prepared to fight about it. Having one of the few women in the cast be relegated to “emotional backbone” doesn’t feel as bad when she’s already expressed insecurity about her importance in life, shown that being an unbelievable badass doesn’t always give her the kind of attention she wants, and isn’t afraid to knock the people in her life down a peg when they aren’t supporting her back. Yes that was just from Happy Campers, and this episode reinforces that with further excellent context. But sshh. We’ll get to that later. Time to watch Loona and Moxxie breaking down because they’re sick of Blitzo’s shit but not to the point of leaving him yet (because they love him too shsshhhshshsh).

Interesting that after a few weeks of moping, NOW is when Blitzo is starting to ramp up his destructive behaviors; what tiny glimpses we were allowed to get in the mission shorts showed a Blitzo that was coping but seemed to be holding it together (you’ll pry the idea that Blitzo’s inability to work the crystal in Mission: Antarctica is directly related to his confidence, not his skill, out of my cold dead rotten hands). This sudden left turn into emptying IMP’s bank accounts and forcing Moxxie and Loona to act out his grief with him appears…new. Maybe lying around eating ice cream and cheese (bro) like a sad sack while watching human television isn’t a new behavior, but the Blitzo-level catastrophic destruction masquerading as retail therapy reads to me as a sudden snap, maybe due to the proximity of a certain lunar cycle. It’s certainly looking on par with running three rings to Wrath and maxing out someone else’s credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons (something that, based on the vague timeline I’ve been able to wrangle out of this godforsaken show, Millie wouldn’t have been present for, though to be fair it’s not like Blitzo ever really has a measured emotional response to anything).

(Viv, if you’re listening, consider this a brief cosmic request for Secretary Stolas to help poor Moxxie with this paperwork. Please. PLEASE. PLEEEEASE.)

I love too that Millie’s approach as default team Emotional Intelligence isn’t to meddle, either, because that also shows maturity on her part; letting the grown ass adults around her handle their shit while still being sweet to them is such a good and necessary component of the IMP team. Hang on having another Millie Feelings Moment while trying to have some sort of chronology here.

…it’s entirely purposeful that Bethany Ghostfucker has Charlie’s hair, right? Because they share a voice actress? Which means…Blitzo has now cosplayed some reference of Charlie…THE STREAMS THEY ARE CROSSING.

I also love how nOTHING could have prepared me for realizing that Blitzo’s outfit in this episode is a cosplay. Of a HUMAN. WHO FUCKS GHOSTS. I don’t know why I am so surprised at how literal the title is; this show continues to both sicken and delight me XD (raunchy humor isn’t my thing and Blitzo was definitely pushing it for me this episode, but also…it’s so nicely balanced with the real emotional breakdowns that I can’t even be mad about it)

Anyway, back to Millie and her Emotional Genius: very glad that she realizes what Blitzo is going through requires a little more babying than usual, and VERY glad that she and Blitzo already have an established system for when he needs to be babied and she doesn’t initially cave to it (I will be buying that magnet, thanks Spindlehorse). I also love how Millie encourages Loona to step up and help Moxxie (who also desperately needs some help, but Millie really can’t focus on him right now because she needs to focus on the root of the problem, which is Blitzo), essentially through begging but also just by being her usual kind self. And that quiet little moment of Millie using Loona’s name for maybe the first time ever is just…mwah. Chef’s kiss. No notes.

Sidetracking again to wonder why the subject of ghosts is just now coming up when Blitzo literally has an alert light labeled “Ghost.” Like. I feel like Blitzo believing in ghosts while Millie staunchly does not is such a good dynamic to play with, but also why is this the first that it’s being addressed. XD Okay, I get it, throwaway gag from the first episode that is becoming relevant now and maybe didn’t have that much thought put into it when it was first made, but I can dream. Or pick relentlessly at tiny details while completely missing the bigger picture. It’s fine. I’m fine.

What I’m not fine with is how Blitzo can completely trash the van in nearly the same way two episodes in a row (assuming that IMP going on the run is happening in Mastermind, which is far from a given, but phwoar would it be maximum emotional impact, to have an episode showing IMP finally moving into their shitty office and how much it means to them, only to have it ripped out from under them the next episode LOLOLOLOL). I’m mostly irritable that my prediction was untrue :P Although I am glad that the prediction that this hotel guy was Leviathan was disproven, because let’s be honest, that would make no sense. Some rando infestor demon, though? Totally on point. Also makes sense why he “falls” for Blitzo’s bullshit disguise; he knows they’re imps because he’s also a demon. Something new to play with. Though it’s interesting that even when Rolando goes rooting through Blitzo’s head, he still doesn’t seem to know either of their real names. Informational blind spot? Would make sense, with how the fight goes down, but later. Later.

Side note to wheeze with relief because when I first watched this episode, it was without subtitles, and I thought Igor was wheezing Blitzo’s name. Him saying “bitch” makes more sense actually. That’s fine. It was much creepier thinking he was saying Blitzo’s name actually XD

Listen. Listen. We know that Blitzo sort of self-medicates with sex and sexual humor. We know that he’s loaded his confidence eggs into the competent at sex basket, because his competence at emotions has a body count (literal). Much like how it was painful to watch Blitzo operating at maximum asshole behavior at the beginning of Apology Tour what with his relentless insistence at returning his relationship with Stolas to safter, sexier ground…watching Blitzo try to distract himself with a sexually charged silly new hobby is equally painful. Because for him, sex is surface level, because anything deeper is dangerous (lord above please ignore the innuendo IGNORE IT). If sex happens to come with emotional attachment, he ruthlessly severs it. But Blitzo being horny isn’t the problem, it’s his disregard for the people that get caught up in his horniness (and he certainly knows how to weaponize his raunchy humor and sexual charisma when it suits him). The Scooby Doo antics are hysterical, but watching Millie start to buckle under the strain of indulging Blitzo is as fascinating as it is inevitable. We already know Millie doesn’t have infinite patience even for Moxxie. So to watch her reach her limit with Blitzo when she might be the only person in IMP whom we have never seen snap at him…delicious. Absolutely the best. And GOOD ON HER for snapping at him for cutting her off, which is a thing he does all the time with everyone ever but rarely gets called on (because he’s waltzed off at that point usually).

And, as I dearly hoped, it’s Millie that starts to really get through to Blitzo, not by being gentle, exactly, but by being her refreshing blunt-not-bludgeoning self. She gives Blitzo the reaming he deserves, but doesn’t belittle him about it; she just points out that his behavior is harmful, draws a boundary, and leaves. Exactly what Blitzo needs…though his brain is certainly going to fuck with him about it first, because lol rejection-sensitive dysphoria being exacerbated by fucked up haunted trauma illusions is a BITCH.

When the gif for this episode dropped and it was Blitzo sliding down a ventilation shaft, I never saw a single other person remark on the dark liquid in the corner of the gif sliding down the shaft after him. I didn’t say anything about it either, just noted it and freaked out quietly every time the gif passed me by. NOW KNOWING THE CONTEXT OF THE DARK SLIDING LIQUID MAKES IT WORSE. I already suspected it was blood (Hellborn blood to be exact). I did not suspect that it would be THAT MUCH BLOOD. Though it’s interesting that Blitzo doesn’t recognize it as such, never calls it that, never seems to realize it. So. Maybe it isn’t blood (spoiler: it’s not blood, I am just dumb and didn’t realize what it is until a third viewing, good job me), but it sure as hell resembles Hellborn blood enough that I have the heebie jeebs. And the visuals are just SO CREEPY—Blitzo is practically drowning in it as he’s dumped into a waking nightmare, and like. Blitzo is an assassin by trade now, and we know IMP did a lot of in-Hell contracts before switching to corner the Sinner market, so there would ostensibly be a lot of Hellborn blood on his hands, but he doesn’t care about that. A job’s a job. The blood he feels guilty about…well…we know, okay, I won’t insult y’all’s intelligence by rehashing it, because it’s about to be made real damn obvious anyway.

THE HAUNTED MILLIES BEING ALL THE TIMES SHE COULD HAVE DIED IN PREVIOUS JOBS THOUGH. Bless the people smart enough to pick that up and throw that spaghetti at the wall because folks it STICKS, it’s so obvious and SO GOOD. And SUCH a neat little insight into Blitzo’s head, too: he cares SO MUCH about his employees, his family, and it does actually haunt him, how many close calls they’ve had. It does occur to him that his actions affect others. It’s just never bothered him, certainly not to this degree. I fully blame Apology Tour and Verosika for getting him started on considering how his actions have consequences for other people, how he “hurts other people’s fee-fees” but also routinely leads his team into dangerous situations where his mistakes could cost them all. And these phantom (lol f-word) versions of Millie not only driving this home through the visuals, but saying the quiet part out loud, asking Blitzo if he realizes this about himself? If he’s ever loved someone without hurting them? FUCK.

I said so many times I wanted Blitzo broken in half; I have FEASTED, friends, because Blitzo’s issues are bigger than Stolas and if he doesn’t address them, he won’t ever be happy with himself, let alone with anyone else, romantic or platonic. ALSO, feast upon the intersecting themes between Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, because “you think you can change?” immediately put me in mind of “addict trash like you doesn’t change,” which…I believe whole-heartedly is something that Val said to Angel, maybe even said in that moment, but the framing of it and Angel’s character arc made it so clear to me that Val’s words had become Angel’s own. Except Angel started proving him wrong. He started struggling, however small and desperately and weakly, to change who he was, to become someone he actually liked instead of what everyone else wanted and liked. Blitzo is in the same boat. Because both of these shows are so much about how hard it can be to become a better version of yourself, especially in a world that’s set against you being that person, that will hurt you for daring to be better, to be different, to be YOURSELF. What Blitzo is going through right now is the emotional beat-down that every person who has ever wanted to self-improve despite (or maybe even because of) trauma or mental illness puts themself through. If you’ve ever been this mean to yourself and driven yourself to a sobbing panic attack, clap your hands (clap clap).

And then the low blow. The tearjerker. The cry-maker.

Teenage Blitzo running to his mother. Calling out for Mama. Telling her about the scary dream he was having. AND SHE COMFORTS HIM. She never turns on him, she’s never angry, she never even flinches as she’s burning alive in front of him. Ghosts aren’t real (sad) and we aren’t ever going to meet Tilla except through other people’s eyes, most likely Blitzo’s, but that double-edged knife of knowing that Blitzo both was so loved and loved so hard back, only to be the one who got her killed…we’ve known as an audience for a while now that this is the biggest burden on Blitzo’s soul, the one thing he may never forgive himself for and can’t conceive of anyone else forgiving, because it’s what’s Fundamentally Wrong with him: he makes everyone’s lives worse. How can he love when he is so completely destruction incarnate? How can he reach out to Moxxie, to Millie, to Loona, to Stolas, to Fizz, when the person dearest to him crumbled to ash in his hands and it’s his own fault?

How can Millie look at him and tell him he’s wrong, that he made her life better?

Fuck hang on cry break FUCK I forgot to remove my eye makeup before doing this lolololol

Okay. Pivoting to scrutinizing this flashback, because the first thing that is immediately apparent to me (besides how hot Millie and Blitzo are DAMN) is how much older and more tired Millie looks. Millie in particular. We’ve become accustomed to Millie looking a certain way, so the new look is certainly exciting, but it’s the expression that’s really the kicker here. She looks hardened and badass, but so, so tired. She’s tired of just being the muscle. She’s tired of scraping by for a buck, and fewer of them than she deserves. My theory that Wrath is saturated with imps of a similar skill set is correct; my theory that Helluva Boss isn’t going to address the class/race issues they’re drawing on in any meaningful way might yet be disproven. Because Millie doesn’t have horrific family trauma. What she has is what every imp has: systemic oppression and its accompanying insecurities. We got hints of this back in Happy Campers, when she was so thrilled to be the center of attention and important and liked, and NOT for how well she kills people. Now it has further context, and is why Millie being the Emotional Support of the team is so important to her as a character: she never thought she could be anything else. She never let herself believe she could be anything but someone’s underpaid goon that was going to die an early death and be as meaningless as everyone told her she was. Until Blitzo and IMP carved out a space for themselves and moved to THE TOP RING IN HELL. The one where Lucifer lives, the one where the Goetia seem to congregate, the one ring that, despite being a flaming hellhole (lol) that is full of weird dead humans and is constantly being beset by angels at least once a year, is considered the one place imps can’t make their mark. Gosh this episode is so important for making so much of that thinly-veiled subtext all throughout Helluva Boss into text, for underlining Striker’s compliment to Blitzo for making a name for himself by owning his own business, for saying EXPLICTLY AND OUT LOUD that imps aren’t even good enough for the shittiest, most moth-eaten office in Pride.

I’m still not holding my breath on Helluva Boss actually solving anything socially within itself, because that seems like a tall order. But it is no longer too much to ask for Stolas to grapple with some pretty heavy questions about his behavior and his preconceived notions, his internal biases and the ways he has hurt Blitzo in return. SECRETARY STOLAS PLEEEEEASE, I AM BEGGING.

Anyway. Time to drool over the fight choreography, first of this fight between Millie and Blitzo, because it’s GORGEOUS. They have what I was hoping so hard for them to have: fighting as a love language XD Blitzo and Millie understand each other on a pretty instinctual, almost primal level; their fight is a dance, not just because they’re both good at it. It’s an extension of their friendship, or what will become their friendship. Their bodies are their most basic communication tool, Millie often through touch and snuggles, and Blitzo through either fighting or fucking, depending on what’s needed. They both have killer instinct, which Moxxie’s anxiety often chokes out within himself and which Loona hasn’t really had the chance to hone.

I also love that moment before Blitzo tips the pool table, the whole “reputation is everything” “Oh yeah? So what’s your reputation?” Because. BECAUSE!! Millie is an exceptional assassin, but in this fight in particular, she is so different from how she is in the rest of the show. She’s a proper Wrathian imp assassin, angry and hard and relentless. Compare that to the beginning of Ozzie’s, when she scuttles into frame holding an axe in her teeth and screeches about how she’s still so jazzed up, clearly amped and so much more joyful than she is during this flashback. Again, said it at least twice, will say it once more: she looks so exhausted, like she’s burning herself out just to make it. And she isn’t a unique case in that regard by any means. It’s working for Blitzo that makes her unique, that gives her joy in her work instead of making her rely on how other people see her. Sinners already don’t care about her or her feelings; her next meal isn’t contingent on appearing as hardened and badass as possible, it’s on a Sinner having a grudge, which is an exclusive meal ticket that only Blitzo could have weaseled them into.

I also want to point out that this fight between Blitzo and Millie? Pretty well mirrored by the fight between Millie and Rolando!Blitzo. The way Millie blocks him with her forearm, the way she slams him into the wall—those are things Blitzo did to her, back during their first fight. Granted, Millie getting the coolest anime punch-stop of all time is something that’s all hers, because Millie is so special and had no idea until she found a new life. She is the happiest imp there ever was and she kicks no less ass for it.

(WHERE IS MY TIMELINE, IMP WAS AROUND FOR A YEAR BEFORE THEY GOT THE BOOK AND THE OFFICE. Unsure of how long after meeting Loona and Moxxie this meeting with Millie takes place, and this does scramble around the timeline of how long Blitzo had the book before Stolas calls to make the arrangement, and where does Moxxie and Millie’s marriage fit into this? They’ve only been married a year, so probably started dating pretty soon after meeting…still have no idea on when Stolas and Blitzo’s first time happened and how long after that was Loo Loo Land. I will tie myself into knots over this, must stop now.)

Anyway. Putting the fights to bed for the moment, gotta get in on those good good BFF snuggles, which will go immediately into Blitzo’s Trauma: The Movie. After Rolando does the honor of driving home the point that yeah, imps have it real fuckin’ bad in Hell canonically and textually and said out loud and everything, thanks for asking.

…oh. Right. Rolando dissolves into black goo. Blitzo wasn’t crawling through a tunnel of blood. It was a tunnel of Rolando. That’s somehow worse. Ah well. My point about Blitzo’s regrets and visually looking like he’s wading through Hellborn blood stands.

Small detail that’s standing out to me in this episode: how much Blitzo is holding his chest during the Rolando fight. Wondering if he’s cupping the pendant he almost lost, or if he’s injured in the chest pretty badly. Which is SO IRONIC if true, because. Y’know. Feelings. His are hurting.

Gosh this fight with Rolando is so scary, though. We’ve never seen infestor demons before (unless you count the Glam sisters, but they weren’t in their element, so to speak), and the power differential between Rolando and Blitzo and Millie is pretty stark. Different from the fight between Striker and Millie and Moxxie, Striker overwhelms with skill. Rolando is overwhelming with power. Don’t you just hate it when higher-class demons have special powers that reinforce the hierarchy? Bullshit. Anyway. THE FIGHT TAKING PLACE NEAR THE POOL IS SO GOOD. Because why wouldn’t an Envy demon have the water advantage? They’re literally fish people. And it’s TENSE OKAY.

BUT NOT AS TENSE AS BLITZO’S TRAUMA: THE MOVIE IS ABOUT TO BE.

I find it particularly significant that Rolando licks up the scarred side of Blitzo’s neck and then says a few minutes later that Blitzo’s level of insecurity is “intoxicating.” Yeah I imagine he’s super tasty to demons who feed on that kind of thing. See previous horrific trauma hallucination. Which I now have reason to believe wasn’t based entirely in reality; we already know all the Millies didn’t die that way, and now a snapshot of Blitzo finding the pendant in the wreckage. He didn’t watch his mom burn to death, not the way he was forced to watch in this episode. Goddamn. Rolando is an asshole, huh?

The Cash backslap really took me aback, actually, not just because Blitzo flinches away from it. The stills show that Cash does it while holding Blitzo’s still-burned wrist in his other hand, so this is really soon after the fire; one has to wonder if Cash did it because Blitzo caused his mother’s death, or if it’s just for the circus. Hard to get a read on Cash, no idea what his attitude towards Tilla is besides a gleeful willingness to use her to manipulate his son. I suppose I’m also shocked because I never really doubted that Cash probably hit Blitzo at least a little, but…a backhand, to me, reads of casual violence, something that’s done without much thinking about it. The way Stella reared back to backhand Stolas and we know by her shocked expression that he’s never caught her wrist to avoid the impact before. Terrible comparison, by the way, and by terrible I mean great but causing me emotional distress. I hadn’t suspected that Cash was likely just as physically abusive as he was emotionally abusive towards Blitzo. Nice to have the confirmation. I hate it here.

Okay, because I haven’t seen the screenshots anywhere yet: first scene of Millie and Moxxie is from Murder Family when Moxxie unties them. Second…I don’t know, actually, and I’m embarrassed to admit that. Maybe Truth Seekers? I could make the argument for Exes and Oohs if Moxxie was in a wedding dress, but I’m not sure. Any of the many times Blitzo has intruded on their time together, I suppose. And, fun fact: the shots that are playing in Blitzo’s eyes when Rolando forces Blitzo’s eyes open are the ones of Fizz and Verosika in Ozzie’s again. In case that was information you wanted. It’s also upsetting that Loona in LA is part of the reel of Blitzo Thinking Everyone Hates Him, because the fight in Spring Broken at least makes sense to flashback to. Though I do keep forgetting, constantly and with an insistence that infuriates me, that Loona and Blitzo were also having a fight during Seeing Stars and when she kicks him off of her at the end, it’s while Blitzo is apologizing for threatening to replace her.

I find it very interesting that there’s a split-second of Barb that cuts in when the Stolas part of the reel plays; it’s so fast, but right after Blitzo pulls away from Stolas’ hand in Ozzie’s, there’s a second shot of Barb as she’s yelling at him in Happy Campers. Significance? Probably that their separation hurts him just as much as his current one with Stolas, he’s just had more time to try and get used to it. Or represses it more.

Oh hey. Blitzo in his head is back in uniform, crystal and all. Nice. I didn’t even realize it. (…Crystal and all. Like it’s become part of his self-image already. HMMM.)

So interesting that Rolando chooses the most obvious pressure points to try and get to Millie…without realizing that coming out of Blitzo’s mouth, it completely robs them of power BECAUSE of their heart to heart. Millie already knows in her core that Blitzo rejects that image of her, because it’s an image of himself that he also rejects and he refuses to let her wallow in it. Their friendship is built on, well, building each other up in that way. Why in fuck would Millie listen to this asshole wax on and on about how she’s a lowborn inbred hick (what the fuck dude) when he’s currently possessing the guy who helped her break that image of herself? Like. Come on, asshole, use your brain, not your bigotry. But I guess that’s also the point of this episode, showing with explicit clarity that IMP is special because of all the anti-imp sentiment they’ve had to wade through and dismantle within themselves, so why would a supposedly “superior” demon think he had to hit any harder or more precise than that? Also. Though. The careless way Rolando is just throwing around Blitzo’s body is pretty sickening.

Special moment of silence for how Millie knows that Blitzo can take a beating that few others can and uses that to expel Rolando. I’m not crying. It’s fine.

“You’re dead, Bethany!” This is. Such a weird thing to say. Especially when you just went on a pleasure cruise through this guy’s deepest darkest fears. You can pull out what haunts him in the night, but not his name?? Counterpoint: he didn’t CARE to pull out Blitzo’s name. Because he’s an imp.

The knocking Rolando into the pool thing was hysterical, though. Such an anticlimax. Right before the electrocution and the eye-popping and all. Lol.

“FUCK hotels!” Says the man who was casually cosplaying an aspect of the princess of Hell who runs a hotel. I love these shows. I love the casual interplay between them. A crossover one day would be the best thing ever.

“I’ve never had a real friend that I didn’t want to fuck.” That is such a blisteringly honest thing for Blitzo to say that I don’t think he expected it to come out of his own mouth. And I love that Millie knows it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with Blitzo, and how Blitzo feels about Stolas. I just don’t think Blitzo realized he felt that way until he said it out loud.

And wrapping this all up with a nice bow with some Loona and Moxxie character growth, where she ACTUALLY takes care of him instead of leaving him to his own devices! Giving half a shit prevents arson, folks, love to see it.

This had the exact structure of Truth Seekers that got me hooked on this show in the first place: cutting the raunchy humor (which is hit or miss with me, usually don’t like it overmuch) with really deep, complex, and honest character moments. The way Blitzo mentors both Moxxie and Millie in different ways while still relying on them is just so satisfying. Even more satisfying is seeing Blitzo change from a one-note loud pervert into a complicated guy who has real feelings about other people and doesn’t actively want to hurt the people he cares about because he DOES CARE. He’s a fuckup, and he’s trying, and it’s so, so, SO good.

I’m sure I have forgotten to wax eloquent about something or other, but it’s almost four hours later and definitely almost five thousand words into this thing, so I’m gonna cut myself off here. Toodles! See you all in November for Mastermind, which is gonna be FINE I’m sure!!

[sparrowsoupp]

so a ‘swiftpaw lives’ au is nothing new here BUT hear me out:

in this au, everything happens as it does in the first arc up to the night where swiftpaw and brightpaw sneak out of camp to fight the dogs. as they are leaving, cloudtail somehow sees/hears/notices and is obviously suspicious so trails them into the forest secretly.

as they get closer to the dogs’ den he realises their plan and confronts the pair, trying to get them to return to camp. swiftpaw is defiant and argues back, escalating into a fight as cloudtail tries to physically knock some sense into swiftpaw. brightpaw looks on in horror trying to break up this fight. this is obviously not a very quiet battle, considering the participants are two bullheaded teenage boys, and so the dogs are woken up anyway.

swiftpaw leaps into action as brightheart freezes in paralysing fear. as a dog lunges at her, cloudtail notices and leaps into the dog’s jaws, pushing brightpaw out of the way in the process. in a burst of fear and strength, brightpaw notices swiftpaw unconcious and unable to move with a missing leg and grabs him to run away, escaping from the dogs and leaving cloudtail to bleed out and die (hence the main catalyst for differences in this au: cloudtail dies in swiftpaw’s place). she doesn’t realise this at the time, hoping cloudtail will understand since he is still up and fighting, and not thinking about the consequences of leaving one cat alone to fight a pack of dogs.

bluestar renames them in the same way lostface was named in the original arc, brightpaw being renamed lostface and swiftpaw being named dogleg, and fireheart is ANGRY with the pair (and himself) for the needless loss of his nephew’s life. no renaming ceremony is held, and they are made to keep their names in rememberance of their foolishness. (sidenote: i think this would also spark a major shift in fireheart’s good nature and personality, leading to MAJOR knockon effects for the rest of the series, but i haven’t thought about it too much yet and also i need to reread the books) and because cloudtail isn’t around to advocate for lostface’s warrior retraining, she is relegated to be a medicine cat and never really emotionally recovers in the same way she could in the books because cloudtail isn’t around to offer her that emotional support. she also very much blames herself for letting him fight a battle that he never signed up to fight and dying in the process, the overwhelming levels of guilt weighing on her constantly to the point where cats are a little creeped out by how empty even her remaining eye looks.

on the other hand (paw?), dogleg is left seething with anger and bitterness towards his clan. (i imagine him after the attack as a somewhat ashfur-like character, except much more extreme) a lot of his toxicity and anger would be taken out on lostface, one of the only cats he talks to anymore, and instead of brightheart and cloudtail entering a very healthy and positive relationship instead lostface ends up in a secret (VERY toxic) relationship with dogleg. she remains attached to him i think because of the trauma they experienced together. i have to think more about that, though. (maybe even kits?)

in the end something something dogleg forces lostface to start poisoning food as the clan’s medicine cat to take revenge on other cats like bluestar or fireheart. i think this culminates in dogleg turning very traitorous somehow.

that’s what i have so far! feel free to sends asks/tag with suggestions or ideas of knockon effects of this change. thanks for reading this big ol paragraph of me rambling about cats lol, appreciate y’all 🦭👍

[terriblepersongreatseamonster]

(Please bear with me through this forthcoming ramble, because I've had all of 6 hours of sleep in the last two days and I'm a bit all over the place. Hopefully this will be coherent 😅)

I don't watch Bridgerton (that's a whole other post that I don't feel like typing out write now), but I've been fascinated by what I've seen on here from this newest season.

I turn 40 this year, and depending on your age you either think that's getting old or you think that I'm still relatively young. I bring this up, because what I'm seeing about Penelope and Colin is honestly something that I never thought I'd see.

Since I was twelve, I've dealt with weight issues. (At this point in my life, I know it's due to PCOS and some other health issues). I am barely 5'0" and typically fit into the 18/20 size clothes.

Being a teen in the late 90s/early 00s meant I didn't see people who looked like me get to be the romantic lead. Girls who looked like me were relegated to being the funny, supportive friend in the background. We got bullied and reminded that we weren't worthy of love or success because of our size. We went to school dances alone and sat on the bleachers while our friends slow-danced with their dates. We didn't get the love story, we got to watch someone else have the love story.

For such a long time I believed that my value as a person was tied to my weight. No matter what I did the weight wouldn't budge. Hell, I'm on Ozempic for my diabetes and I'm starting to think I'm the only person on the planet it doesn't cause weight loss for (it does however do a marvelous job of controlling my blood sugar, and at this point a healthy A1C is the thing that matters most).

I went on a few dates in my 20s with men who used my size as their reason to not continue dating (and yes, they all knew my size when they asked me out). When I started dating my husband, I went into it fully anticipating that no matter how much fun we might have he wouldn't be able to see past my size. I was wrong, and am so grateful for that.

It was only about 2 years ago that I started learning to see that I was far more than my weight. That whether I was my current size or managed to somehow be 100 lbs lighter, I'd still be the same person on the inside. I'd still have the same talents and skills, the same personality and humor. And while I've grown to see & love myself for who I am, it's still a day-by-day thing that I struggle with.

So, seeing this:

And this:

It hits me in a way that is hard to explain. I never thought I'd get to see something like this. Never thought I'd get to see someone my size and shape shown as beautiful and desirable.

Look at this woman, she is absolutely lovely:

I don't really know how to end this because now I'm crying. I guess my main point is that I feel seen and it's been an emotional rollercoaster.

And I may have to turn Netflix back on so I can see this season 😅

[avacolemanplsbebi]

The Subtle Romance of Avanine: Could It Be Real?

In the season 3 finale for "Abbott Elementary," Gregory and Janine seem to be throwing caution to the wind and finally getting together. To Avanine truthers everywhere, that seemed to be the final nail in the coffin and relegated any Ava x Janine content to fanfiction and fanart. But I am fully delusional and believe that this might not be the end for Ava and Janine. In this essay, I will explain why I think Avanine could be endgame, including narrative evidence and character development throughout the series.

Janine's Journey of Self-Discovery

Janine Teagues has been on a remarkable journey of self-discovery from the very beginning of "Abbott Elementary." Introduced as an idealistic and perpetually optimistic second-grade teacher, Janine's character is defined by her selflessness and unwavering dedication to her students. However, this dedication often comes at the expense of her own happiness and personal growth. Over the course of three seasons, Janine's character has evolved significantly, marked by several pivotal moments that have shaped her journey.

One of the most defining moments in Janine's journey was her breakup with Tariq, her long-term boyfriend. This relationship, while comforting and familiar, was also limiting. Tariq's lack of ambition and direction contrasted sharply with Janine's passion and drive. Their breakup in season 1 was a crucial step for Janine, allowing her to break free from a relationship that was holding her back and start focusing on her own aspirations and needs.

As Janine navigates single life, she begins to explore new relationships, including a brief romance with Maurice, a friend of Gregory. This relationship serves as a stepping stone for Janine, helping her to understand what she truly wants in a partner. Maurice's easygoing nature and genuine interest in Janine provide her with a sense of validation and confidence. However, it also highlights the contrast between Maurice's laid-back attitude and Gregory's more serious and supportive demeanor.

The kiss between Janine and Gregory during the teacher's conference is another pivotal moment in her journey. This unexpected and passionate kiss brings Janine's feelings for Gregory to the forefront, forcing her to confront the reality of her emotions. It's a moment of vulnerability and clarity for Janine, one that sets the stage for future developments in their relationship.

Janine's decision to tell Gregory that she wants to be selfish marks a significant turning point in her character arc. Throughout the series, Janine has consistently put others before herself, often to her own detriment. Her declaration of wanting to be selfish is a bold step towards self-empowerment and self-care. It's a moment of self-realization where Janine acknowledges her own needs and desires, setting the stage for her to make decisions that prioritize her happiness.

In the first episode of season 3, Janine's journey takes another significant turn when she goes to Gregory, hoping to rekindle their relationship. However, Gregory's response, "Honestly, Janine, in my mind, I had kind of put a period on that," is a harsh reality check for Janine. This moment forces her to confront the fact that not everything will go according to her plans, and it challenges her to reassess her approach to relationships and her own emotional needs.

The culmination of Janine and Gregory's journey occurs at the end of season 3 when they seemingly "get together." This moment, while joyous, is also complex. It's a culmination of their long-standing chemistry and mutual feelings, but it also raises questions about Janine's growth and her ability to prioritize herself. Gregory's decisive action in going to Janine's place and initiating their relationship contrasts with Janine's earlier desire to make decisions for herself. This dynamic sets the stage for potential conflicts and growth in their relationship moving forward.

Gregory's Character Development

Gregory Eddie's character development throughout "Abbott Elementary" has been more subtle compared to Janine's and Ava's, yet it is equally significant. Gregory starts as a substitute teacher with aspirations of becoming a principal. His reserved and disciplined nature often puts him at odds with the more chaotic and unpredictable environment of Abbott Elementary. Despite this, Gregory's character evolves as he becomes more integrated into the school's community.

One of the key aspects of Gregory's development is his dating life. Gregory's relationships with various women throughout the series highlight his struggle to find a balance between his professional ambitions and personal life. His interactions with Janine, however, reveal a deeper emotional connection that transcends his usual guarded demeanor. Gregory's evolving feelings for Janine are evident in the way he supports her, offers advice, and ultimately, the way he handles his own emotions.

The pivotal moment of Gregory telling Janine, "Honestly, Janine, in my mind, I had kind of put a period on that," is crucial in understanding his character. This statement reflects Gregory's attempt to protect himself from emotional turmoil by setting boundaries. It also indicates his frustration with the uncertainty of their relationship. Gregory's desire for stability and clarity contrasts with Janine's more spontaneous and emotionally driven nature.

By the end of season 3, Gregory's character reaches a turning point when he decides to be with Janine. His visit to her place and the subsequent kiss signify his willingness to take a risk and embrace his feelings. However, this decision is not without its complexities. Gregory's choice to initiate their relationship, rather than allowing Janine to make the decision herself, highlights a potential conflict. Janine's journey towards self-empowerment is challenged by Gregory's assertiveness, setting the stage for future growth and negotiation in their relationship.

Gregory's development from a cautious and reserved individual to someone willing to take emotional risks is significant. His relationship with Janine serves as a catalyst for his growth, pushing him out of his comfort zone and challenging him to confront his own vulnerabilities. This evolution is crucial in understanding the dynamics of their relationship and the potential challenges they may face in the future.

Ava's Transformation

Ava Coleman has undergone one of the most remarkable transformations in the series. Initially portrayed as a self-absorbed and unprofessional leader, Ava's character is revealed to have surprising depth and complexity. Her journey from a seemingly selfish individual to someone who genuinely cares about the school and its staff is both compelling and significant.

Ava's initial portrayal as a self-centered and flamboyant principal sets the stage for her character development. Her disregard for rules and her tendency to prioritize her own interests over those of the school create a comedic but problematic dynamic. However, as the series progresses, Ava's character begins to reveal unexpected layers. Her interactions with Janine, in particular, showcase a different side of her personality.

One of the most surprising aspects of Ava's character is her adeptness at various tasks when she chooses to apply herself. This skillset, combined with her sharp wit and resourcefulness, highlights Ava's potential as a leader. Her transformation is marked by moments where she steps up to support the school and its staff, demonstrating a growing sense of responsibility and care. This shift is particularly evident in her interactions with Janine, where Ava often goes out of her way to support and protect her.

Ava's relationship with Janine is a key element of her character development. While Ava's initial interactions with Janine are marked by teasing and superficial comments, their relationship evolves into one of mutual respect and support. Ava's protectiveness over Janine becomes more apparent as the series progresses, and their shared moments outside of work hint at a deeper connection. This transformation from a self-centered individual to someone capable of selflessness is significant in understanding Ava's character arc.

A notable moment in Ava's development is when Janine decides to leave Abbott Elementary to work at the District. Ava's decision to hire someone who is the exact opposite of Janine underscores her deep attachment and appreciation for Janine's presence at the school. This action highlights Ava's growth and her recognition of Janine's importance, not just as a colleague, but as a friend and confidante.

Janine and Gregory's Relationship

The relationship between Janine and Gregory has been a central narrative thread throughout "Abbott Elementary," marked by numerous ups and downs. Their journey from colleagues to potential romantic partners is complex and layered, reflecting the intricacies of their characters and their individual growth. Understanding their relationship requires a detailed examination of key moments and developments over the seasons.

From the moment Gregory joins Abbott Elementary, there is an undeniable chemistry between him and Janine. Their shared passion for teaching and their mutual respect for each other's dedication create a strong foundation for their relationship. Gregory's initial crush on Janine is evident in his supportive actions and the way he often goes out of his way to help her. Janine, on the other hand, is initially oblivious to Gregory's feelings, focused on her relationship with Tariq and her commitment to her students.

As their friendship deepens, Gregory and Janine share several significant moments that bring them closer. The kiss during the teacher's conference is a turning point, bringing their feelings for each other to the surface. This moment of vulnerability and passion highlights the depth of their connection and sets the stage for future developments. However, the complexity of their feelings and the external pressures they face create a turbulent path forward.

Janine's declaration that she wants to be selfish and focus on herself adds another layer to their relationship. Gregory's response, "Honestly, Janine, in my mind, I had kind of put a period on that," is a pivotal moment that reflects the tension between their individual needs and their mutual feelings. This statement underscores Gregory's desire for stability and clarity, contrasting with Janine's journey towards self-empowerment and self-care.

The culmination of their relationship occurs at the end of season 3, when Gregory goes to Janine's place and initiates their romantic relationship. This decisive action by Gregory contrasts with Janine's earlier desire to make decisions for herself. While this moment is a culmination

 of their long-standing chemistry and mutual feelings, it also raises questions about the dynamics of their relationship. Gregory's assertiveness and Janine's journey towards self-empowerment create a complex interplay that sets the stage for potential conflicts and growth in their relationship.

Overall, the relationship between Janine and Gregory is marked by significant moments of connection, tension, and growth. Their journey reflects the complexities of balancing personal needs with mutual feelings, and their evolving dynamic highlights the challenges and potential of their partnership.

Janine, Ava, and Gregory

The dynamics between Janine, Ava, and Gregory add another layer of complexity to the narrative of "Abbott Elementary." Ava's initial attraction to Gregory and her evolving relationship with Janine create a rich tapestry of interactions and emotions that influence the main characters' journeys. Understanding these dynamics is crucial to fully appreciating the potential of an Avanine romance.

Initially, Ava's attraction to Gregory is a source of comedic tension in the series. While Ava is not interested in a serious relationship with Gregory, her flirtatious behavior and attempts to get his attention create a humorous dynamic. However, this attraction also sets the stage for Ava's evolving feelings towards Janine and her protective behavior regarding Janine's relationship with Gregory.

One of the key moments that highlight the dynamics between the three characters is the club scene where Janine and Gregory are dancing together. Ava's decision to break them up and invite Janine to continue clubbing with her and her boyfriend is significant. This moment not only underscores Ava's attraction to Gregory but also her interest in spending time with Janine. Janine's reaction to Ava being in a relationship and her decision to join Ava instead of going home alone highlights the evolving bond between the two women.

Following this, Ava and Janine's relationship deepens as they begin to spend more time together outside of work. Their shared moments suggest a growing intimacy and mutual support. Ava's protectiveness over Janine becomes more apparent, and their interactions reflect a deeper connection that goes beyond mere friendship. This evolving dynamic adds a layer of complexity to the potential of an Avanine romance.

However, the most significant shift in Ava's behavior occurs in season 3, when she begins to actively push Janine and Gregory apart. Despite having previously supported their relationship, Ava's actions in season 3 suggest a change in her feelings. Her happiness when Gregory tells Janine he has put a period on their potential relationship, and her constant interruptions, indicate a deeper emotional investment. This behavior raises questions about Ava's true feelings and her motivations for keeping Janine and Gregory apart.

The final look Ava gives Gregory during the party scene in the last episode of season 3 is particularly telling. Despite being canonically over Gregory, Ava's expression suggests jealousy and concern. This moment highlights the complexity of Ava's emotions and her potential feelings for Janine. It raises the possibility that Ava's actions are driven by more than just friendship, suggesting a deeper, unspoken attraction to Janine.

Ava and Janine's Relationship

The relationship between Ava and Janine is one of the most intriguing and complex dynamics in "Abbott Elementary." While much of their interaction occurs off-camera, the glimpses we see suggest a deep and evolving bond that could potentially develop into a romantic relationship. Understanding the nuances of their relationship requires examining key moments and the subtext of their interactions.

One of the most significant aspects of Ava and Janine's relationship is the way they support and understand each other. Ava's hyper-awareness of Janine's location and her actions to ensure Janine's well-being suggest a level of care that goes beyond mere friendship. Janine, in turn, knows exactly how to break Ava out of her serious moments and bring out her playful side. This mutual understanding and support highlight the depth of their connection.

Their regular outings to a drag club indicate that they spend significant time together outside of work. These moments away from the school environment allow them to connect on a personal level, further deepening their bond. The fact that they have a regular place where they hang out suggests a routine and comfort in each other's company that is significant in any relationship.

Most of Ava and Janine's interactions that have deepened their connection have occurred off-screen and in private settings. This contrasts with Janine's interactions with Gregory, which are often public and chaperoned by their colleagues. The private nature of Ava and Janine's moments suggests a level of intimacy and trust that is crucial in building a strong relationship. These off-screen interactions allow them to explore their feelings and support each other without the pressures of their professional environment.

The comments from Janelle James, who plays Ava, further support the potential for an Avanine romance. James has hinted at the depth of Ava's feelings for Janine and suggested that their relationship could develop into something more. Additionally, the show's creator, Quinta Brunson, liking an obviously gay Avanine edit, adds another layer of intrigue to the potential for a romantic relationship between Ava and Janine.

The evolving dynamics between Ava and Janine, marked by mutual support, private interactions, and hints of deeper feelings, suggest a strong foundation for a potential romance. Their relationship is built on a genuine connection and understanding, making the possibility of Avanine an exciting prospect for the future of "Abbott Elementary."

Conclusion

While Ava and Janine might not get together, the evidence suggests that Ava has a significant crush on Janine. This crush, combined with the complex dynamics between Janine, Ava, and Gregory, is likely to create interesting developments in the fourth season of "Abbott Elementary." The potential for an Avanine romance adds depth and intrigue to the narrative, and fans can look forward to seeing how these relationships evolve. Whether or not Avanine becomes canon, the possibility itself enriches the story and keeps viewers engaged with the characters' journeys.

TL;DR: The season 3 finale seems to solidify Gregory and Janine's relationship, potentially sidelining any romantic possibilities between Janine and Ava. However, examining the narrative and character development reveals that the potential for an Avanine romance remains strong. Janine's journey of self-discovery, marked by pivotal moments like her breakup with Tariq and her declaration of wanting to be selfish, contrasts with Gregory's more stable but less aggressively developed character arc. Ava, initially self-centered, undergoes significant growth, showing unexpected depth and selflessness, particularly towards Janine. Their off-camera interactions and mutual support hint at a deeper connection. The complex dynamics between Janine, Ava, and Gregory, including Ava's changing behavior towards Gregory and her evident jealousy, suggest Ava's unspoken feelings for Janine. With Ava canonically over Gregory, her actions indicate a crush on Janine, setting the stage for intriguing developments in season 4. The essay argues that while Avanine might not become canon, the possibility enriches the narrative and keeps fans engaged.

[faramirsonofgondor]

I honestly just need a fic where someone calls literally everyone out on their bullshit. And by their bullshit I mean the way they treat Jamie. Because everyone in that show has wrong him at least once. I’d argue that the people who wronged him the least were Pep, Nate, Higgins, Trent, and maybe Keeley but that’s a little debatable still. Like maybe it can be Dr. Fieldstone or maybe it can just be an outsider. But I just need it to happen.

The way people treat him in season 2 & 3 ( and even in some scenes in season 1) is just NOT RIGHT. Like they literally just walk all over him half the time??? Don’t get me wrong, the team and the others CAN be supportive and kind to Jamie, but sometimes they’re just straight up toxic dicks too. Even in season 1, half of the time Jamie was being “a prick” he was really just on the defensive ?? Like Roy also does some pretty fucked up shit but nobody calls him out on it because he’s the team captain. Like he literally fucking head butted Colin and could’ve given him a really bad concussion, but since Colin was being a prick first that just makes it okay???? Roy instigates and escalates multiple fights with Jamie, yet Jamie gets benched for being a dick to Sam ( which might’ve been deserved, but then Roy should’ve been benched as well).

Then in season 2, we see the team get incredibly angry with Jamie once he comes back. Which is just??? It seems like Ted just let them stew in their anger towards Jamie instead of actually talking to them about it. Like the fact that they’re upset about stuff that happened before he left, even though they didn’t seem angry at him right before he left. Like where was this anger towards Jamie before? I honestly think they were just using any excuse to take their negative emotions out in Jamie. Like you’re seriously telling me that Bumbercatch was upset about Jamie flirting with his mom when that happened probably months before? That Richard was so angry he had to talk in French because Jamie cupped a fart and put it in face? That Colin was pissed about an insult Jamie made that sounded like a 3rd grader came up with?? Isaac pretty much hit the nail on the head when he blamed Jamie for getting them relegated, because that’s what they were all actually angry about. Additionally, I think it’s very telling that Sam, who was the one Jamie picked on the most, was silent throughout that whole thing. I honestly think that Sam was the only one who was at least a little curious about whether Jamie had truly changed, and who actually wanted to give him a chance. But he wanted Jamie to work for it, which is fair all things considered.

I think the person who treats him the worst in season 2 ( besides his father) is probably Ted because of much he ignores Jamie’s issues with his father, and he fails to see the influence he’s had on Jamie and his self esteem. Like the way Ted doesn’t even tell Jamie that he didn’t send him away??? He could’ve at least cleared up that Jamie wasn’t send away cause of his attitude or whatever.

Anyways, I’ve already spoken on the teams many fuck ups with Jamie season 3 before so I’ll keep this short. The entire Zava situation was creating a toxic work environment and everyone except Jamie was feeding into that toxicity. Nobody speaks up for Jamie when Roy is a dick to him all the time. Nobody apologizes. They yell at him for stupid shit. They fail to notice how much he’s struggling until he spells it out for them. Roy and his whole macho dick fight with Keeley.

Anyways, they’ve been pretty shit to Jamie and deserve to have someone point that out to them.

[thunderstomm]

Hot Wheels: Let's Race - Season 2 Thoughts

Season 2 has been out for a few days now, and I've watched every episode at least once through, so I'm finally going through all of my thoughts on the show, what's going on, and what I think is going to happen next. The joy of serialized kids shows!

Everything will be under the cut, just in case. Spoiler alert for all of season two!

First off- we're finally introduced formally to our "mystery racer"- Cruise! She's the daughter of the villain of the first season, Professor Rearview, and a racer in her own right. I have to say, I think her character design is very clever, having the shape of her pigtails match Professor Rearview's big hair! i know some people may not like that Cruise is his daughter, as opposed to a grandchild or niece, but I think that the fact of her being a direct descendant makes more sense for the story they're telling. That and there's fun to be had with Professor Rearview being an evil dad.

Cruise is undeniably the highlight of the season for me, and my new favorite. I enjoy the angle of the racers having a non-camper opponent, as the lack of constant close proximity, or down-time with one another means they don't have to be cordial or polite towards Cruise, and we see a lot of more intense emotions fester as a result- especially on Coop's end.

I also think in general, Coop as a character works much better in this season. The pre-established motivation, plus his new outstanding title as the camp champ are threatened directly by Cruise, as he is her primary target to beat, and the determination and vigor it brings out in him is very entertaining to watch.

The rest of the racers sadly don't fare as well, as it feels like they take more of a backseat when compared to season 1, outside of a character focus episode. This feels especially apparent with Axle, who has gone from his role as the main rival, to being good-aligned all of the time. His personality is still intact, but It feels very odd to see him so reduced in role, as the show doesn't frame him as a threat to Cruise also- despite the fact he is probably the only racer outside of Coop who could pose such a threat. The rest of the cast seem much more competitive when Cruise is not in the picture, but once she is, the show relegates them back to supporting roles. Considering the show's age demographic and the story it wants to tell, this isn't a huge problem, but nonetheless a little sad to see.

We also get a bit of backstory for Dash and Professor Rearview! I'm surprised to see they're the same age- either Dash has aged really well, or Professor Rearview has aged terribly. It's interesting to see they were campers at the same time. Were they friends? The amount of team-strengthening exercises that Dash has her own campers do is re-contextualized by this reveal- is she trying to prevent a repeat of what became of Rearview by making sure they do actually like eachother and get along, meaning the jealousy that comes with losing is minimal, or reduced because they can feel good for the person who does win because they are friends?

The environment that Dash and Rearview were in was clearly far more competitive and unforgiving. Of course, we can't pin it all on just that, as Professor Rearview's coping mechanism and overreaction to his loss is his own fault. Explanations, not excuses. And carrying this grudge for at least 30 years, it has long passed being something to be blamed on the conditions of the environment.

I'd love to see a flashback episode regarding their time at the Ultimate Garage honestly! Who were the other four campers who they trained alongside? I'd like to think maybe Axle's dad, Striker, was one of them. Seeing the exact conditions of the race would certainly help to clarify as much. Not to mention, they already have the 3D models for young Dash and Rearview...

One thing that was made clear by the episode count, and the season ending about half-way through the level 2 arc is that season 2 has been split in half, and the season 3 we're to get is really the second half of season 2. Which means more time to dwell on what we've gotten, and who will be the winner of the Ultimate Garage. There's also the question of whether the show will redeem Cruise, and have her join the side of good. I personally am conflicted? It would be interesting, and makes sense, but we are also yet to see any desire to change- let alone Cruise's own motivation and feelings towards her father's plans.

One thing I wish we had seen was a slower moment between Cruise and someone else, particularly any of the racers! I think the show would have it be Coop, as he is our main character, and I don't really have an issue with such. Season 1 gave us a whole episode where he was made to work with Axle, and it gave us a better insight into his character, motivation, and storyline. I think an episode like this with Cruise, under a circumstance that suits their storyline and characters better, would work wonders. Cruise clearly LIKES to race, and yet she is willing to help her father win it in order to destroy it? There's the general question of why Professor Rearview would even allow his daughter to be a racer, but considering he was a former racer, I suppose it would be a waste to not pass on those skills. Is Cruise of the belief that her father will spare her car, and allow her to keep racing? I want to see Cruise forced to talk to someone so that we get these answers.

As mentioned in a prior post, I have two theories regarding the next season's end, the winner of the Ultimate Garage, and the events that could follow. These are both hypotheticals in which Cruise does get a redemption arc, so both of these could very easily be wrong, and Cruise could remain evil, which still would be fun to see.

Option 1: Coop wins the Ultimate Garage. Coop manages to catch up in flame badges to Cruise, leaving the final race as to being between the both of them. Coop ends up winning the big race, much to the delight of the other camp racers, Dash, and his father. However, this victory does not stop Professor Rearview, and he puts his plan into motion to destroy the Ultimate Garage anyways. The campers and Dash all band together to stop him, but It's not enough. All hope seems lost, and there is a moment between Professor Rearview and Cruise where Cruise comes to the realization that their plan working means she will never race again, and lashing out in anger to get a victory that destroys the rich car culture of the city, and takes away something she loves, is just not worth it. She'd rather race again and get a chance to prove herself and improve, rather go down as a sore loser. Using her knowledge of her father, her car's unique abilities, and a little encouragement from Coop and the other campers, Cruise helps to stop his plan. After his defeat, Coop invites the other racers to continue staying with him at the Ultimate Garage, wanting them all to continue improving together. He also ends up extending the invite to Cruise, considering that now she has no place to go, as she's betrayed her father, and now that she's "good".

Option 2: Cruise wins the Ultimate Garage. Despite the campers' best efforts to beat her, Cruise still ends up winning out, and is rewarded with the ownership of the Ultimate Garage, much to the despair of everyone else. She excitedly shares the news with her Father, who is excited to begin the plans to destroy the whole thing. However, Cruise is starting to have doubts. She has all of these amazing cars and resources at her fingertips now, and she can use these to become an even better racer! She tries to convince her father that maybe they don't have to destroy everything, and can keep some of it intact, but he is not having any of that. He's looked forward to this for years! Realizing that he won't listen, Cruise instead asks for help from the campers, admitting that she was wrong, and needs their help now to stop Professor Rearview. Reluctantly, they choose to believe and trust her, and foil the plans with their racing skills. Once he is stopped, Cruise attempts to hand back over ownership of the garage, but the others insist she keep it. They come to a compromise- they'll share. After all, there's a lot they can all still learn from one another, as people and as racers.

Thanks for reading all of the way through! What are your thoughts on the new season, and your theories, if you have any ! I'd love to hear what everyone has to say!

[suchine-toki]

Thoughts about Otae

I agree with the assessment that Tae was an underdeveloped character. This frustrates me a lot because I feel she’d a lot of potential. As for the hate, I think it's because there’s a dissonance between fan expectations, given her importance to the Yorozuya, and the relevance she actually had in the series. I also think part of the problem is that Sorachi relied on an archetype to create her character that was already getting old.

Like Shinpachi, Tae is the normal girl in the main cast. We’re initially introduced to her as an orphan in charge of raising her younger brother, burdened by her father's debts, who works hard and wants to save her family's dojo at all costs. This is a good start, and her willpower is admirable. However, these plot elements are almost immediately relegated in favor of something else: her love life.

Initially, I'd say she was going to be Gintoki's main love interest, which changed with the introduction of Kondou and Kyuubei. It's not that I don't like romance (quite the opposite), but it's noticeable that a good portion of Tae's appearances revolved around that love triangle. While people know it's comedy and that she's justified in beating up Kondou, it doesn't help her character to constantly be in that situation (I talked more about kontae here).

When it wasn't about her love life, Tae's role usually fell to being the heart of the Yorozuya, the emotional support, representing the place they can return to. This is evidently very important to Gintoki, Shinpachi and Kagura, but offers very little development for Tae. Her goal of saving the dojo is forgotten until it returns in Beam Saber arc, arc which not only puts her on the back burner, but isn't even relevant in the long run.

I think Sorachi didn't know what to do with her. He tried to give Tae important roles but failed spectacularly. An example of this is when he decided to make her one of the 4 Devas, only to do nothing with her again. Even her title of Queen of Kabukicho isn’t unique to her but shared with Kagura. However, I would say the worst offender was definitely Farewell Shinsengumi arc, in which Tae went with the rest to do absolutely nothing.

Going back to the dissonance between expectations and reality, I would first like to mention that a character's combat ability isn't everything, just because they’re strong doesn't automatically make them good or vice versa. However, it’s frustrating when we’re told that a character is strong and logically should be, but in the end isn’t. I also don't want to say that it's wrong that she needs help (everyone does at some point), but her self-sufficiency comes into question if she needs help so often.

Silver Soul arc is another example of this situation. She’d no role in that arc and had to be saved twice, first by Kyuubei and then by a net after a Shinra guy had captured her. Imagine if she’d used her hairpin to stab the alien instead. It would’ve been a great way to reestablish her character themes that she’s a strong, brave, feminine woman.

In short, I wish Sorachi had tried harder with Tae. I think it would’ve been fitting to make her older at the beginning of the series, so that she’d her own life and dreams she’d to sacrifice to raise Shinpachi and save the dojo that she'll pursue later. Also show her role as a leader, both with the Snack Smile girls and as a Deva of Kabukicho (as well as having her own title) and demonstrate that she’s skilled with the naginata. Basically, focus less on her love life and her role with the Yorozuya, and give more importance to her character's attributes. She’d a lot of potential and it feels like it was never reached.

[randomnameless]

I think the "Billy should ditch the boar" takes comes from AM being the one route that breaks their self-insert fantasy. Flamey and Emile doing their stuff and the Jerry thing etc do not matter bcs its not being directly mean to YOU, the player, in YOUR story. Edel-chan is a very sad and traumatized girl that will ALWAYS love YOU no matter what you do and she will doodle YOU and squeak about rats n stuff, but you don't have to actually deal with any of her supposed trauma in a realistic way (+)

(cont) She will always be fine and ready to gush after you, the trauma is only a plot device to make her wary of other people that aren't you, and be attached to only you. What she does to randoms doesn't matter as long as she's nice to you. But the evil european barbarian boar dares to actually show his trauma and negative emotions around you, and make you uncomfy, and bring any sort of realism to your fantasy! how dare he! Not only that, but he admits he didn't like you at the beginning!!!(+) (cont) you, the player, isn't above other characters when it comes to him being rude because of his trauma and mental illness, and the story dares to show your avatar feeling sad and powerless instead of badass and cool. He won't listen to you until another character opens his eyes first, and even if you marry him he's still hearing voices and struggling with his issues, your love won't cure him!! Not only that, but AM is his story, not yours! (+) (cont) It relegates your self-insert to a supportive deuteragonist instead of the main hero the plot centers around. He will become The King and you will be just a religious leader, following the footsteps of the Evil Lizard Lady!! Obviously you don't want that!! this is your story, where you can dump all your anti-church IRL arguments into, and be a super cool baddass mercenary who never has to deal with negative emotions!! And that's why AM is the only FE16 route where I actually like Billy.

Sorry anon for the tardiness of the reply!

Yep, I feel like for both Dee and the evil lizard lady, at one point, they are unhappy/upset/angry and more or less negative at Billy - who is, in this situation, taken as the player.

I remember during the heights of 2020-2021 discourse people sending asks to other asking how can they like Rhea bcs she was meant to "u" and whatnot, and it's just... Self-insert at its finest?

But Billy - the character we see in Nopes, FEH and FE17, wouldn't feel like the player in those instances (because Billy the character would never pick the "uwu" option in the Holy Tomb, and Billy the character would understand and/or at least get how Dimitri doesn't want to talk right now) - so again, it's the same old question, who is Billy? An empty self insert who feels a lot of sad uwus when Rhea threatens to rip their heart out as they assist and support who swore to kill her because her ears are pointy and cries whenever Dimitri doesn't want to talk to them, or is Billy the character we see in other games, who shows more empathy and tries to understand people, and thus, wouldn't have been able to pick a certain route in FE16?

Lol I just remember now how some people didn't like Cyril or even Seteth because they didn't slobber over Billy - as the self-insert - in their first 5 lines unlike the rest of the cast ^^

Granted, this "YOU must be the most important person EVER" comes back in full force with the S-supports (tfw seteth doesn't mention his family to billy when they hold hands) and it reiterates something I always knew : Avatars were a mistake.

Parasocial maybe saved the franchise from turning into another F-Zero like saga, but damn if it nuked a lot in the process (and by, a lot, i mean coherence and characters networks).

[celestiall0tus]

Luka Couffaine Notes - All That Remained

So, I think I see what issue I've had with Luka that I don't with Kagami. And, I ask your forgiveness for the blasphemy I'm about to speak. But you know what they say, right? Better to ask forgiveness than permission. So, let's crack into this.

With all due respect to Luka, he's a decent character in concept. However, from what I've seen, he's dreadfully bland. It's honestly hilarious seeing what a far cry he is in show versus what the fanon is. I've known this fact, but it really isn't until rewatching the older seasons that I see what my issue is. He was really just made to be for Marinette. He is the typical love interest catered to be for the main lead.

Now, there's nothing wrong with the original intention of a character being a love interest. One of my favorite characters, Sally Acorn, was originally intended to be a love interest for Sonic in the Archie Comics. However, for those that read the comics and know her, she became so much more. It's honestly arguable that the world of those comics was built for Sally and not Sonic. Sally became such a big part of the comics and her role was incredible, but she was still intended to be Sonic's love interest. Same goes for Kagami. She is a love interest for Adrien and rival to Marinette, but she feels so much more fleshed out. Like Sally, she's utilized so much more than Luka, which is a shame.

Luka, for all the potential he has, is nothing more than the would-be gold medal. He comes in to offer emotional support and be the rock for the main leads, but mostly Marinette. He is perfect for her, is everything she needs him to be. Day on the ice rink? He's a professional skater. Having trouble with your feelings? Shoulder to cry on and advice giver. She's feeling down and needs a pick me up that the girls can't give her? Enter stage right, Luka.

We see this even in their akumatizations. Luka is akumatized because of Marinette. It is only ever because of Marinette. Kagami did have her share of akumatizations because of Adrien, but for different reasons. Wanting a rematch, Lila, and Adrien lying. And let's not forget the cloud titan that was due to Marinette, not Adrien. Then there's Luka who was akumatized because of either an injustice to Marinette or wanting the fucking truth. (I'm not counting Migration. You all can fuck off with that. That was just bad writing all around that fucking episode.)

Doubling back on the bit about fleshed out. We see more with Kagami about who she is, her struggles, and so much more. We even see her GASP grow as a person. Whereas we have Luka. The man who is always kind, caring, protective, understanding, and patient. Well, that's all fine and all, but what else? What are his flaws? What are his weaknesses? What makes him human? I'm honestly reminded of the scene in Barbie the Nutcracker with the Rat King reading on the Sugar Plum Fairy and just being like "That's it?" Or in Swan Lake when Odette asks "What else?" and prince asshole asks "What else is there?"

You know, it kinda makes sense that when I see canon Luka, I just laugh. I don't see a character like I used to. I see a character with potential relegated to a glorified plot device. He only ever served as a way to advance the plot, which is a fucking sin. If Kagami was allowed to be important later on (which I get for what season 5 was) why couldn't we get that with Luka? I would have loved to have seen more than just a glorified plot device and, I wager, almost falls into the everyman trope. He is ordinary at the time we meet him. The one bit of normal in Marinette's life that we all honestly became attached to. Well, most of us anyway. Makes sense given his borderline blank slate personality of generic good traits.

It also makes sense why I latched onto the Luka in fanon. The entire fandom, all of y'all, make Luka such an interesting character. And I, for one, thank you all. We see more with these characters that don't get the spotlight, especially with Luka. It's amazing seeing what we do with him with the meager template provided by the show. Thank you.

[catboysaionji]

what are the mods serious opinions on saionji?

I'm (Mod Juri) gonna answer this with my own personal analysis, the other mods are free to chime in.

My serious opinion on Saionji can be summed up as he is a boy princess. While yes he is misogynistic, aggressive, and generally a perfect epitome of toxic masculinity; he is also a boy princess.

Touga pushes him into a role that will soon be the bride's, he is relegated to a sidecar on Touga's motorcycle, we see him in a frilly apron in the woods. We are repeatedly shown that he is more fit to be put into a feminine role than a masculine one. And it is once Saionji is put into this feminine role, Touga begins to take him seriously.

Throughout the anime we see Saionji become increasingly unequal to the duelists around him, especially to Touga. At some point he is even thrown out of the student council entirely. To quote the analysis I linked:

Saionji’s duels are “friendship” and “choice” in opposition to Touga’s duels of “self” and “conviction”. The qualities he’s trying to act on, though, are Touga’s not his own. The result is that he doesn’t successfully show any. He craves emotional connection but is, for good reason, widely disliked. Yet his sense of who he is alone is muddled at best. He stubbornly sticks to the duels but has no plan for how to accomplish things within them and winds up manipulated by anyone who offers him an opportunity – whether it’s dubious letters or Mikage bargaining for Wakaba’s hairclip.

Saionji desperately wants to be respected and on the same level as Touga, he has felt disconnected ever since they found Utena in the coffin. He wants to know what that eternity that Touga showed Utena was, he wants to know what could get that girl out of that coffin. So he strives to be Touga's equal and it is a position unfitting for him, he tries hard to be as masculine as Touga, to be as sauve. But he simply can't reach it. He does not know who he is by himself, because he does not want to accept who he is by himself.

But when we see him in the woods, cooking some eggs, dressed in an apron, we see a part of him we have never seen. We see the way he is genuinely concerned for Nanami and offers her something to eat. We see him show a genuine kindness and caring to Nanami, that Touga never showed.

And when we see him as a bride, we see him content with being needed and being a friend to Touga. Being a rival was never what it was all about for him, but he can't understand that until the illusion of eternity no longer clouds his eyes, and as he realizes that something is not right about where they are.

To further quote the analysis:

Saionji makes a good princess in the same way Utena makes a good prince – although, unlike her, he’d certainly object if you told him that’s what the role was. He’s comfortable in it and it brings out mostly good things in him, letting him be insightful and supportive. It’s a bad role in itself, though. Saionji doesn’t need to fight for power over others, but he shouldn’t let himself be completely passive and dependant, or rely on other people’s goals to give him purpose. Later, between Utena’s victory over them and her final duel, we see Touga riding a bike across the balcony with Saionji on the back. Saionji seems more content with this than Touga, totally relaxed while Touga struggles to move forward providing motive force for them both. There’s not much Saionji can do, though, even if he wanted to. Touga’s bike has never been a tandem. Maybe they should get one.

But circling back to Saionji's role with Nanami: I believe that Saionji could be, and already is, a better older brother figure to Nanami than Touga is. I bring this up because it is linked to the fact that Saionji becomes far disillusioned to the system he was in, and The Palace Perspective delves into this disillusionment with Nanami at the center. It does so in this scenario where Akio passes the torch to Touga after Anthy has left (called The Eve of Autumn). I will put this in screenshot form as what I would like to quote is a lot of text:

Saionji is too far removed from the system to rejoin it, especially as it hinges on someone he cares about. We know he is capable of being freed from this system as we see at the end of Adolescence of Utena. He's on the jeep for a reason.

Basically I believe that while Saionji is not an ideal person, he is a 17 year old in a system that brings out the worst in people, surrounded by the very people running the show. He needs to take hits to realize that he has to change, but additionally he is capable of change. We can see it in episode 35 when he states "it's not just her... we're all trapped in our coffins."

[denebtenoh]

Song of an Ice Princess: a FF16 Fanfiction

The Titan and the maiden.

This is my first try at a magnificent game. Yes, FF16 is magnificent in spite of the many flaws it has. One of the flaws is that, they had a very powerful, very strong physically and mentally female character… who was relegated at nothing more than the main character´s girlfriend… Such a missed opportunity, Square Enix...

That´s why I want to write fics about Jill, about what she could´ve been because, in spite of the little use of her great personality, I really liked her. But also, because she hints many times she had been in captivity, used as a slave and then as a weapon, but always seen as a low life that deserved nothing but mistreatment.

Now, what kind of mistreatment women have had during war in any time, any culture and any world, and especially, during slavery?

Well, here´s my attempt at giving voice to Jill Warrick´s fantastic personality… and to her possible plights. Which means, my fics about her will be filled with blood, angst and violence… including, sometimes, gender violence. But women like her, just like the Phoenix (even though she doesn´t represents it), or maybe just like magnificent Shiva, will always rise to soar the skies.

You´ve been warned.

-------------------

Jill feels the crushing weight of exhaustion in her arms, each muscle a testament to the countless battles they have fought and the relentless struggles they have endured together. A frustrated growl escapes her as she contemplates the many challenges that lie ahead, each one more daunting than the last. She has long since lost count of the enemies they have faced and vanquished, the stains of their blood mingling with the fabric of her favorite dress—a dark reminder of the violence that has become an inseparable part of her life.

The reality of returning to Rosalith to confront Kupka weighs heavily on her chest, the memory of the once-beautiful kingdom of her childhood now reduced to ashes and ruins fills her heart with sadness. What she anticipated as a difficult task has transformed into an emotional trial that twists her heart with each passing moment. As they took every step through the streets of her childhood, it became increasingly difficult to reconcile the happy faces she once found in every home with the desolation that now greets her. Each battered house stands as a mere skeleton of its former self, dark reminders of a vibrant past that will never return.

No matter.

Gazing at Clive as he fights valiantly by her side infuses Jill with the strength she desperately needs. She shakes her head, resolutely forcing her arms to rise higher, urging her weary muscles to respond. In the past, she has fought and killed for others, enduring torture and pain in the name of their survival. Therefore, this current plight—her sacrifice for Clive's safety—holds little weight in comparison.

She knows, without a doubt, that she will always stand by his side, supporting him through every challenge, no matter the cost. For him, she is willing to endure anything, to give everything, and to push past her limits. In this fight, their goals collide as well as their atonement. Clive´s vision of the future is worth every sacrifice, and she is prepared to prove it time and again.

Unfortunately for her, her thoughts had claimed too much of her attention.

While slashing through one of the last guards, she fails to notice Kupka approaching her from behind. By the time she realizes his enormous form is looming over her, it's already too late—his massive shadow eclipses the sun, casting her into sudden darkness, an omen of the danger she failed to anticipate.

“W-wha…?” But she doesn’t get to finish the question, since his enormous hand takes her wrist, or rather, her whole forearm, and with a swift movement twist it behind her back, forcing her to let go of her sword and extracting a painful yell from her lips, as she falls hard on her knees upon the ground.

“Aaagh!!”

“Jill!” Clive opens his eyes wide with horror at seeing Kupka´s imponent frame looming over her delicate one, and absolute rage fills his heart. “Kupka!! Let her go!!”

The huge man chuckles mockingly at them both as he tightens his grip on her, forcing another painful yelp from her lips, and Clive can´t do nothing but to grit his teeth and clench his hand upon his sword.

“I´m so glad you accepted my invitation, Lord Rosfield. I went to some trouble with the decorations, as you can see.”

“Bastard! Don’t be a coward, Kupka! Let her go and fight me!”

But Kupka only chuckles once more, especially when Jill tries to ignite her powers, only to yelp again at the dominant´s pressure upon her limb. She can almost feel her arm about to pop out of its socket. Without the slightest care of how painful it can be, with a swift movement Kupka takes her by the neck and raises her from her spot, as easily as if she were a mere ragged doll, forcing her to face him, her hands making feeble attempts at liberating the pressure upon her windpipe. The humongous man looks at her with contempt, but almost with pleasure as well, at feeling the softness and brittleness of her neck under his powerful hand.

Jill and Clive feel a rush of terror running through each of their backs, as they can see malicious intent behind Kupka´s green pupils, as if the enormous man could sense with all his being the girl´s fragile life under his grasp, and basks at the feeling of absolute power that it brings.

“It could only take a movement… a small and single flicker of my wrist… and I could snap your neck as if it were a mere twig and take your life without much effort… little Snowflake.” At the terrible threat, Clive ignites his flames upon his blade, but Kupka only smirks at such threat and, without losing eye contact with Clive, lowers his lips upon the girl´s ear, speaking high enough for her friend to hear clearly. “If either of you resist, if I only feel the slightest twist of a finger from any of you, I´ll make sure this delicious neck bends in impossible angles.” As if to reinforce his threat, he tightens his grip against her, making her yelp again and Clive to growl.

But, obediently, neither of them moves a single inch.

With a slight movement of Kupka´s head, his soldiers forcefully lower Jill´s hands from the powerful wrist and envelop them in magical handcuffs, and this time Jill screams, whether for the pressure of the metal or for the draining of her magic, she doesn´t know. The sudden pain is so intense, she falls on her knees in front of her enemy, panting.

“Jill…” Now Clive feels like he´s about to break his teeth out of the force he´s clenching them, but knows there´s nothing he can do. At least not without putting Jill´s life at more risk. “I´m gonna kill you for this, Kupka…” He promises as he throws his sword to the ground, the clanking sound deafening to Jill´s ears. Chuckling at the evident suffering of the couple, Kupka gives another signal with his head and the process repeats itself, the soldiers putting similar handcuffs upon Clive´s wrists, and the pain they elicit allows him to know why they had made Jill scream.

But he doesn´t get to fall on his knees by his own out of the absorption of his powers. At Kupka´s next movement of his head, one of the soldiers closest to Clive hits him in the face with his metallic gauntlet, breaking his lip, and without letting him recover, the second one hits him from the other side, opening a gash on his cheek, only for the third man to kick him in his stomach, taking all the air from his lungs and doubling him over, almost breathless. Once on his knees, the three men start kicking the fallen man mercilessly, their laughter mixed with Clive´s grunts and yells of pain.

“No! Clive!” Jill tries to run to help him but two guards hold her by the arms, and no matter how hard she pulls at them. Without her powers, she´s at their mercy. “Clive!” With desperation, she sees blood forming on her friend´s face at the mindless attacks, and turns to see Kupka. “Please! Stop this! They´ll kill him!!”

But the man only crosses his arms over his chest, chuckling with absolute joy. “Why would you think I don´t want that?”

She looks over at Clive again, feeling her heart clenching at the suffering of the man she cares so much for and, with renewed determination, her eyes return to their tormentor.

“Please! Stop them and I´ll do whatever you want me to!”

Kupka only huffs at her. “Please… there´s nothing you have that would interest me.”

“Yes, yes I do…”

The weight of her words and the gravity in her tone finally reach him, capturing his full attention. As he turns to face her, he meets her steely gray eyes — eyes filled with unwavering determination that leave him momentarily speechless. The silent implication of her gaze causes him to huff in disbelief. Yet, as he continues to glare at her, a dawning understanding of her decision settles within him. He slowly raises a hand, signaling a halt to his attack, while his eyes roam appreciatively over her figure, acknowledging the strength and resolve she embodies. As well as her beauty.

“You don´t know what you´re getting yourself into, little Snowflake. And anyways, what makes you think I won´t do it nevertheless? I´ve already defeated you once. It will mean no effort from my part if I decide to take you by force here and now.”

His sight is met by her eyes ablaze with fierce determination, her resolve unshakable. “You defeated me before because I was weak, malnourished, and neglected. But now, Kupka, I am strong, well-fed, and cared for. You don’t stand a chance against my Shiva, and if we fight this time, I’ll make sure to end you for good… but…” Her gaze shifts toward Clive, his body sprawled helplessly on the ground, barely moving. The sight of his torment rips at her heart, her anger mingling with the unbearable ache of seeing him in pain. “But if you forgive his life, I… I could become your slave without questioning…”

Kupka raises an eyebrow in absolute skepticism. “What you´re offering is real? Would Shiva truly fight by my side?”

Her brain yells at her to deny it, begs her to take back her offering… but one look at Clive´s bleeding face erases any doubt she could have.

“You have my word…”

She´s not finished her bow when, out of nothing he slaps her face, the strength of the blow sending her a few feet away from him. She falls unceremoniously to the ground, tasting the dirt she has falling onto, a well as the blood coming from her broken lip. Kupka gives a heavy step towards her, his smirk broad upon his face while his eyes leer at her figure, chuckling in advance of his triumph.

“Very well, little Snowflake, it would seem we have a deal, then: I´ll give him but one more day of life in exchange of yours.” Without waiting for another moment, he moves his hand towards his personal guard. “Take her to my chambers! And take Cid to the dungeons.”

Without a shred of mercy, the guards seize them both by the arms. Jill is forced to stand, her legs trembling beneath her, while Clive is dragged mercilessly across the ground, barely conscious. Despite his weakened state, he manages to lift his head, his gaze meeting hers for only a fleeting second. Pain and shame flood Jill’s beautiful gray eyes as they lock with his, the weight of their shared suffering pressing heavily between them.

“N-no… Jill…” Those are the last words he speaks before plunging into the darkness of unconsciousness.

From one of the ruins and unnoticed by the rest, Gav looks at the scene unfolding before him.

“This is bad… very, very bad…”

-----------------------

Jill stands in front of the once-stately, now-worn bed that had once belonged to the great Archduke of Rosaria, Clive’s father. Her heart tightens painfully as she thinks of the tragic fate that befell the only man she ever saw as a father figure. The bed, crumbling after years of neglect, shows signs of recent, half-hearted repairs—likely done at Kupka’s command to make it barely usable. After all, Kupka wouldn’t tolerate sleeping in anything less than a bed deemed worthy of him.

Her wrists throb in agony, still cruelly imprisoned by the cold, unyielding handcuffs that rob her of her powers. Every pulse of pain radiating from her bound hands seems to drain more of her fading strength. She leans forward slightly, her body pleading for relief, as she carefully lowers herself onto the edge of the bed. The once-majestic piece of furniture, now little more than a neglected relic, creaks beneath her. Even that small sound is swallowed by the oppressive silence in the room. She’s too exhausted—too worn down by the relentless weight of defeat—to stand any longer.

Her thoughts spiral in a chaotic dance, drifting to her childhood friend, who now suffers in anger and pain, trapped in the cold, damp dungeons. As her eyes scan the surroundings, she searches desperately for any possible means of escape, a way to save both herself and Clive from this grim fate.

Amidst her frantic searching, her mind drifts back to the reckless promise she made—a foolish attempt to grant Clive a second chance. The weight of that vow presses heavily on her heart, intertwining with her desperation, as she speaks to herself, trying to reassure her fearful mind that she made the right choice.

“I’ve… I’ve done this before. This isn’t new to me… and besides, this time I’m doing it for Clive…” She repeats the words as if they can anchor her in the storm of fear that threatens to engulf her. Despite her attempts to reassure herself, the tremor in her voice betrays her unease. No matter how much she tries to convince herself, the reality is that the fear surges through her body, relentless and all-consuming.

The looming prospect of pain—pain and humiliation that she knows all too well—hangs heavily in her heart, a burden that feels almost suffocating.

Before she can focus her fearful thoughts, though, the double doors creak ominously and swing open with an unsettling ease. Kupka´s massive figure fills the doorway, his presence looming and suffocating. He steps forward, slow and deliberate, his dark smile widening—devilish and gleeful. The cruel glint in his eyes sends a chill racing down her spine, a stark reminder that she is completely at his mercy.

And this time, by her own choice.

"I can’t deny it, little Snowflake — defeating you in the Velkroy Desert ignited a fierce, unexpected passion within me for you. Your grandeur in that moment was undeniable, and it left a mark on me that I hadn’t anticipated." His voice drips with a twisted admiration as he leans in, his face mere inches from hers, the heat of his breath grazing her skin. "But honestly, at that time, not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine finding you in my bed like this… princess."

He pauses, letting the tension build as his fingers trace through her platinum hair, the touch unsettling yet deliberate. His dark eyes never leave hers, watching for any flicker of resistance. “I have to admit..." His voice lowers to a near whisper, sinister and intimate. "During that battle, you were magnificent.”

Jill passes saliva with difficulty, fear gripping her chest tighter as her breathing becomes labored, but she cannot yield now. Especially not in front of him.

“Let Clive go now… we had an agreement...”

Hugo caresses her cheek while he chuckles.

“You´re too naïve, little Snowflake, thinking that I´d trade his life for your body only. You are magnificent, as I said, but not magnificent enough to convince me not to kill him. You see, he took from me something I loved dearly. He must pay, and he´ll start paying with your suffering.”

Jill clenches her teeth and forces her eyes to look angered, to threaten him, even when she knows it’s a futile attempt.

“You took from us beloved people too, what about them? You´ll have to pay for what you did to them as well…”

Before she can utter another word of protest, his hands clamp down on her blouse, yanking her off the bed with swift, unyielding force. He straightens to his full height, pulling her up so that her feet dangle just above the floor, her body suspended at eye level. As he drags her sharply toward him, their noses almost touch. Her gasps and the pained whimpers that escape her lips seem to fuel his satisfaction, each sound deepening the cruel smirk playing across his face. He watches her intently, reveling in her discomfort, savoring every tremor that runs through her.

“I must admit that each part of you is a stunning piece of art.” He passes his tongue over his lips, as if already savoring her skin. “I promise you I will make sure you suffer during every single moment I take you… in payback for what he made her suffer…” With a violent movement, he opens his arms to the side, in a single pull ripping apart the blouse and the dress, discovering the flawless, ivory skin of her chest, her breasts exposed to the cold air as she falls upon the bed unceremoniously.

“You… wretched fiend…”

The fire in her eyes hasn’t completely faded, but now it serves only as a fragile shield to hide the overwhelming terror coursing through her. It’s the last defense she has to prevent him from seeing just how exposed and vulnerable she feels, her body laid bare before him in a way that leaves her trembling. And her fear intensifies the moment he straddles her, his eyes now leering at her figure, at the firmness of her breasts, at the paleness of her skin, which is almost as pale as Benedikta’s…

Benedikta´s…

Kupka suddenly stands completely still, his outstretched hand stalled mere inches from her breast, watching the quick raising and fall of Jill´s chest, but without really watching her, until he slowly moves off from her, only to sit at the border of the bed, his hands upon his forehead as he rests his head against his palms, as if in absolute despair. Jill lies completely still as well, afraid to even move, especially when she notices the man´s shoulders shake softly, as if he were… crying?

“K… Kupka…?” Jill straightens her posture a little, worry and uncertainty etched in her beautiful features, unsure of what would be less dangerous: trying to run away from him… or trying to comfort him.

“She was the most beautiful creature on earth… she was to be my queen…” Kupka is grunting, growling, but under his strangled voice she can sense the immense pain he´s experiencing. And can do nothing but feel empathy for the man, for she´s experienced loss as well. A loss that still scraps at her heart.

“I´m… I´m sorry…” She tries, but she hasn´t finished her words when the man turns around in a flash, entrapping her neck once more and hurting her again.

“And Cid took Benedikta from me, tore her from my loving arms… and you… you almost forced me to desecrate her memory! To taint the sacred love we shared!!” The pressure upon her throat is immense, no air entering her lungs, and she can almost feel her head filling with blood and her neck about to crack as she starts seeing spots in her peripheral vision. Fortunately for her, the man lets her go after a few seconds, only to get out of the bed in a flash, fits of painful coughing left in his wake as he releases her windpipe. Without warning, he takes her by the arm, pulling her savagely from the bed and forcing her to walk by his side, sometimes dragging her, her knees scratching the rocky floor, the grip on her arm so tight that it hurts her. “You will pay for this, princess, for trying to tempt me! For using your wretched pretty eyes to almost make me break my promise to her. But my love for her is stronger than your tricks!”

Jill hears the desperation in his voice, the raw pain buried beneath it, but she can’t focus on it. Her mind is consumed by the rising panic threatening to overtake her, by the sharp pain radiating from her arm caught in his unrelenting grip, and by the struggle to stay on her feet, desperately trying not to collapse and worsen the pain in her already battered knees. She barely registers that her robes are torn, the fabric hanging in shreds and showing a great quantity of ivory skin. She doesn´t even care the guards they pass by leer at her figure — it’s the last thing on her mind as she fights to regain control of her damaged self.

He drags her down into the courtyard again, and throws her savagely against the guards, the pair almost missing her as she crashes against them, catching her just barely before she falls face first on the ground. The guards, once they have a tight hold of her arms, force her to fall on her knees against the rocky floor, this time drawing some blood as the rocks rip the fabric of her leggings and her skin. Once in position, two soldiers stand on each of her side, heavy hands upon her shoulders to keep her in place as she stays kneeled in front of the piece of tree trunk that will serve to sever her head. As if she could have the strength to even move.

“I want this witch, this… succubus, dead at once!” Kupka screams at the top of his lungs, lest his men can see his broken heart. “Let´s begin the executions with her! Bring forth the Headman at once! And bring Cid to witness how we separate his girlfriend´s head from her wretched body!”

One of the men walks forward, a little bit scared but still pointing at Jill´s body.

“General, if we are to execute her… can we…?”

But the man slaps his personal guard with such force that he falls on the ground, his mouth bleeding.

“No! I forbid any of you to touch her! She is a witch! She will taint us with her filthy blood! No one can lay with her! She´s to die now!” And with that, Kupka storms inside the castle again, rushing angrily towards the balcony in order to witness the whole ordeal.

Jill stands still, as still as she can, impressed at how the tables are turned and she´s back to being a prisoner again, though this time, she can sense her ending truly near. She takes it valiantly, almost welcoming it, thinking only of the caring man she´s about to leave behind.

“Do you think…” The soldier to her right murmurs to his comrade, “that the general would notice if… you know… we grab some boob…?”

His comrade hesitates, looks at the immobile girl and back at the door Kupka has closed with a slam. “I… I don´t know… would you risk it?”

“Well… look at her… she looks so soft… would you really let this opportunity go?”

“Will you risk your head over a moment?”

The man inclines a little, enough so to see her breasts exposed through the ripped clothes.

“Well… they look very nice… Nice enough…”

“Well…”

Jill lowers her head, hunching her shoulders even further as if trying to shrink into herself at the irony of finding herself again in the same despising situation. She desperately attempts to shut out the conversation around her, wishing she could close off all her senses to the ominous future that looms ahead. In this moment of despair, she silently offers one last prayer to Metia, to any of the deities she doesn't truly believe in, hoping against hope for a reprieve from the inevitable.

Please… let it at least end quickly…

At the sound of heavy, metallic steps nearing her, Jill understands she´s run out of time, and the thought draws a cold sweat from her forehead, as she feels her breathing getting kicker, her heart hammering urgently against her chest. The two men tighten their grip on her shoulders and force her to lean over, slamming her face against the truck. She knows there´s blood coming from her forehead and her cheek, but she can´t care less, as her thoughts go astray to the man that had promised a better future.

I´m sorry… I won´t be able to protect you anymore, Clive…

She closes her eyes as she hears the grunting sound of the Headman raising the enormous blade, and exhales, forcing her heart to lower the speed of its beating. Because there is no more fear. There won´t be no more suffering. There will be only darkness…

But instead of darkness, a sudden and intense bright light forms behind her retinas, as screams are heard all around her and the electricity in the air prickles the hairs on her skin… and she can hear a profound growl in front of her. She slowly opens her eyes and a flash of lightning is seen in front of her.

“T-Torgal…?”

The magnificent hound howls into the air and she now can hear slashing and clanking of swords around her. She smiles tiredly, realizing her salvation has arrived, her smile growing wider in spite of the pain when a pair of gentle hands hold her shoulders, softly pulling her up straighter.

“Jill! Are you okay? Can you move?”

She pants and yelps as the man she loves liberates her from her shackles, and almost immediately she can feel her magic returning to her, slowly giving her back her strength.

“Now I can…” With the comforting support and help of his beloved hands, Jill gathers her strength and manages to stand. As she does, she feels his cape suddenly enveloping her, a clear attempt to shield the exposed skin of her chest. His hand then settles protectively on her shoulder, pressing her firmly against his chest, a gesture that speaks volumes despite the chaos around them. Clive’s furious screams of vengeance directed at Kupka resonate in the air, fueled by a desperation that suggests he fears losing her if he loosens his grip. A warmth spreads through her chest at the thought of his fierce protection. Yet, as Clive finally releases her, turning to meet her gaze, she offers him a nod, acknowledging the unspoken bond between them.

“Go after him… this has to end today.”

Clive nods at Jill as Gav faces her, a huge smile on his face as he offers her magnificent sword back to her.

“I think you dropped this.”

She smirks and nods, taking the powerful and beautiful weapon.

“Thank you, Gav, I owe you my life.”

He winks at her. “And I´ll never let you forget it, sweetheart.” He turns around and faces the enemies, and she stands right behind Clive as they are surrounded by guards. The man still looks at her from above his shoulder.

“Are you sure you can fight, Jill?”

She too looks at him from above her shoulder, and smirks.

“Are you serious? I´m more than eager to seek pay back for what they did to me.” She slashes at the closest soldier, blood spurting from the severed flesh. “Don´t worry about me, Clive. They just took me off guard, but I won´t make the same mistake again.”

Clive smiles at her and nods.

“I know, you´ve proved me over and over again you´re far stronger than this. Well…” He slashes to another guard, all too happy to obey her. “Then lets clear this path to our own revenge.”

Her hand grips tighter the handle of her sword as she smiles at her childhood friend and readies crystal magic over the palm of her hand. Yes, she would definitely sacrifice her everything for their cause.

And for this man that holds the key to their freedom.

ooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo

A/N: okay, I´m sorry, I might´ve overdone it this time, but as I said, a few parts in the game have implied that Jill was seen as less than a human being, and thus mistreated and tortured as such. That´s why I say she´s a very strong character: in spite of all her suffering, she still stands and fights for the better of other people. How couldn´t we love her?

I also thought that it was illogical for Kupka to take Clive to the dungeons only to take him back up again to witness Jill´s execution. Why not just execute her then and there? Why waste time? Well, maybe he was doing something that needed to consume time… like taking revenge on Jill… This also is my filling the gap on such plot hole.

I just hope you like the idea, and that you don´t find it too gross.

[thestarlightforge]

What the Antihero, Your Villain, Has Left

12/31/22

***

It’s interesting how sometimes, the early stages of grief are anger, and these fade into sadness until sadness is all that’s left for a long time—and sometimes, it’s the other way around.

When I was a teenager and had a messy friend-divorce, a situation which left me extremely isolated and cut off from most of my close friends, it was sadness that followed fury. I was angry for years—about how they behaved, what they had said, their abandonment and betrayals. Until eventually, I just missed them—their memories lit in blues, shades of melancholy finally mixing with peace.

But even now at age 24, when you would hope such things would seem less material than in childhood—since adults, in theory, can choose where they go, where they live, and who they see—when I have to leave my extended family after holiday visits, I am left not with sorrow, but with wrath.

For much of my childhood, I simply cried when we left them. I didn’t cry much as a kid—my sibling cried more often—but when I got injured (Brittle Bones) and when we would leave: Those were the times I cried. We would get in the car, and I’d weep for hours. That kind of crying that’s so intense, you choke on your snot from the utter hopelessness. Sometimes, I’d barely get out a “goodbye.” Just had to hope they knew.

Some of those tears were angry, I’m sure, and sobbing can tear forth from the body as violently as screaming can. But in theory, crying is a more helpless, sad emotion, relegated to emasculation—while anger breaks out, from snide remarks to roars, imbued with some fool’s-gold version of power. Whether erudite or brutish, ire can feel like strength, like righteousness—like taking control back.

There is a black torrent of feeling that pours from waves of this realization: That other people could have chosen a whole different life for you, but they didn’t, and you couldn’t. That a world almost existed in which this endless cycle of grief you experience was replaced by a robust support system of family and community—no matter how broken or strange—when you were so young, you couldn’t even form memories of living far away. But it doesn’t exist.

You don’t know how things would’ve turned out in this other world. But from the little glimpses you’ve gotten every school or work vacation all your life, you feel like it would’ve been a good one. A life where, when disaster struck, family may have shown up more often (whether by will or ability). There would’ve been places to go, people to see, when fighting started or struggles arose. Friends to hold in good times and sad.

What or whom you might’ve missed out on in this phantom reality, you do not know—who you may or may not have become is anyone’s guess. But you would’ve been free of this bullshit, anyway.

It does not dignify abusive characters, of course. But I wonder, sometimes, if people who condemn antiheroes, or characters who struggle to do “good,” simply have not tasted much of disempowerment. There is an emptiness, a longing, a helplessness so profound it struggles to find description—and from that, a bitter, deep and primal rage—that is wrapped into the understanding that you almost had the love you deserved, but it was taken from you. That even if you manage to build new things, there are worlds of love you missed out on—worlds you didn’t have to miss, if only for a few different choices.

Tragic corruption arcs in stories are composed out of characters having blended culpability for this: Characters make some of these choices for themselves, usually after some are made for them. Redemption arcs come after and, as much as I love them, sometimes have a habit of individualizing the consequences of systems of oppression—characters accept blame for their own traumas, instead of anyone holding the people or oppressive world who hurt them accountable.

But either way, the best written antiheroes and villains emerge from shadows of love.

Even if someone hasn’t experienced this personally, art is meant to confer empathy—I don’t understand why the “complicated antihero/villain” phenomenon is so hard for some people to grasp. Maybe because they would rather stay in sadness. Because they want to believe they wouldn’t pick up the daggers, the magic or the poison. That they could never lash out so. That if confronted with the power to remake their world—to tear their love and justice from the jaws of those who took or would take it, or at least to punish them—they wouldn’t be tempted.

But as I sit in the back seat of the car, my parents driving us away from my loved ones once again, my disabled (24 y/o) “adulthood” be damned—away from the kinds of support systems that nearly all of my cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents had close by all my life, while my parents, sibling and I lived elsewhere:

I understand.

[kelpiemomma]

Do B L M N for k&r since I'm back on my bullshit

I gotta buy like. All those books again... except the last two. I'm going to pretend the last two don't exist.

Also god I haven't read this series in so long,,, literally 10 years bud, I last read it when I was doing my year in college fjdsakfl;

→B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

I'm gonna be honest, I don't think I really shipped Michael and Fisk until I joined the fandom here. They were good buddies but I don't have any strong memories of shipping them? On the off chance I did though, I think Michael/Fisk/Rosamund grew on me because of someone?

→L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves.

When the only favs we really get to see are the dumb blond and his emotional support dark haired reluctant buddy, it's not hard tbh. I think Kathy could've been a really cool and interesting character if she hadn't been like. The only named female character that wasn't related to Fisk (from what I remember) and therefore relegated to "divert the gay ship" material. She was clever and polite and still subtly... a badass. I also think Rosamund could've been a fun addition to more stories because from what I remember she was feisty and fun. The women deserved better, tbh. Can we get a side series that focuses on Rosa and Kathy?

→M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Fisk. Absolutely. 10/10. Books and snarking together? I would love him to be my bestie.

→N - Name three things you wish you saw more [in K&R]

►I could've been down with the Kathy/Fisk ship IF there had been more buildup to it. What we got was sudden and rushed and I hated it. It felt like the author went "fuck, they're shipping the guys, QUICK SHOVE A GIRL IN THERE". If we'd had more development in the story beyond a few letters between them and then Kathy showing up and Fisk going "oh, girl :0" I could've been more on board.

►I know we had a whole book featuring Fisk's family but I loved their hijinks and would've loved more of them.

►This third thing is going to have to be empty because unfortunately I don't remember enough of it at this point to have a third thing lined up u_u

[riahlynn101]

"Kidnapping is Easier Said Than Done."

summary: Yoichi sometimes wishes he were born into a better family, but what he wants more than that is for his nephew to be raised by someone, anyone that's not All for One.

Trigger warning: Kidnapping

-----

Yoichi’s favorite hobby is people watching. Call it a holdover from his childhood days of being relegated to the shadows of society, but it has never ceased to amaze him how people interact with the world around them. The park near his apartment is both a nice place to relax and to indulge this hobby. 

He likes to sit on a bench in the center of the park, between a row of neatly planted tulips and a scattering of wildflowers. People pass by, sometimes in pairs or groups, sometimes alone. 

But today he’s there for a different reason. 

“Hello,” a young woman pushing a stroller greets him. 

“Ah, Midoriya-san, how are you doing today?"

“Good, good.” She sits next to him. 

“And how is Izuku?” He looks over the baby. Now a little bigger than the last time he saw him, even though it’s only been a couple weeks. “Getting bigger.” He clicks his tongue. “They grow up so fast.”

Midoriya-san frowns. She traces a finger down the baby’s chubby cheek. “Too fast.” 

Yoichi suddenly feels guilty. He shouldn’t, not yet. But he does. Making people upset has never sat right with him. 

“He has your eyes,” he says, changing the topic to something less imminent than her baby growing up. Though, if Yoichi’s being honest, he knows that’s not true. The only similarities little Izuku and Midoriya-san’s eyes share are that they’re big and green. 

Midoriya-san laughs. “My husband says Izuku has his brother’s eyes. I’ve never met him before….” she trails off, chewing on her bottom lip. “Guess I’ll have to take his word for it.” She laughs again. The sound is nice. Nicer than anything his brother deserves to listen to.

“How is your husband?” Yoichi asks. Maybe his brother calmed down, retired even. As much as he doesn’t want his nephew being raised by his brother, Yoichi really doesn’t want to cause the young woman next to him any pain. She seems nice, just gullible and misled. 

The smile falls off her face, replaced by a frown, and Yoichi knows the answer before she speaks. “Hisashi’s on a business trip.”

“How long?”

“Who knows,” she murmurs. Izuku coos in his sleep. A soft fondness overtakes the sad, tired look in Midoriya-san’s eyes. “I’m sure he’ll be home soon, though.”

It’s Yoichi’s turn to frown. “Yeah,” he agrees, “I’m sure too.”

He looks at her. At her soft hair and soft features and big eyes. Yoichi knows his brother. He knows that he didn’t fall in love with this beautiful but naive woman for no reason. There has to be a plan in place. A scheme to get his hands on One for All, or a chance for a new quirk. Yoichi can’t put his finger on what it is exactly. 

“I’m tired,” she admits in a small voice, like she’s ashamed. Midoriya-san looks at him, and he sees the countless hours of sleep she’s lost raising Izuku on her own. She bows her head, one of her hands rest on the stroller, absently moving it back and forth. “I’m so, so tired.” Tears fall from her eyes, she sniffles.

“I would be too.” Yoichi pats her shoulder. He’s not the best at offering comfort, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try. 

“Izuku is a good boy. I know he is, and I know that it’ll get easier when he gets older. But right now…” Midoriya-san sobs into her hands, shoulders shaking. The noise almost wakes Izuku. Yoichi keeps an eye on him, even as continues to pat Midoriya-san on the back. 

“Do you have any family or friends?” 

She looks up from her hands, shaking her head. “Besides Hisashi, you mean?”

Of course his brother would choose someone without a good support network. The thought fills Yoichi with an indescribable rage. But he’s nothing if not good at managing his emotions (living with someone like All for One will do that to you), so he just flashes a gentle smile. “Yes.”

“Mitsuki, she’s my best friend.”

“Why don’t you reach out to her?”

“She has a baby too, only a few months older than Izuku. I don’t want to burden her.” At those words Midoriya-san devolves into sobs again. 

Yoichi grimaces. The guilt is already setting in. “Midoriya-san,” he says. “You look like you need a break. I’d be more than happy to watch Izuku for you.”

Midoriya-san shakes her head. “N- no….I…you can’t. My husband doesn’t like people watching our son.”

“Besides you?”

“Besides me and him.”

“How is that fair?” Yoichi asks. “You can’t sustain yourself by taking care of Izuku all the time. Besides, your husband will never know. You can go home and sleep, and I’ll take care of the baby. We can meet up here at five.”

“But….Hisashi-”

“Should be here to help you.”

Midoriya-san looks at him and then over at her baby. “Are you sure…? Izuku can be a handful and I’ve heard horror stories of babysitters getting frustrated and-”

He cuts her off. “I’ve dealt with worse, trust me.” Not babies but All for One is certainly close enough. Yoichi takes her hand. “I promise to take good care of your son.”

“His diaper bag is at the bottom of the stroller. It has everything you’ll need.” Midoriya-san sighs sadly. She leans over to kiss Izuku’s downy head. “I love you, Izuku. Be good until mommy comes back.” She then looks over at Yoichi. “Take care of him. Oh, and I know you’re only watching him for a few hours, but he might be a little fussy when he wakes up. He’s not used to being cared for by anyone except my husband or I.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” The sudden urge to throw up washes over him. He smiles. 

-x-x-x-

Yoichi abandons the stroller a block away from his apartment. He shoulders the diaper bag, and carries the baby close to his chest. Izuku is thankfully a heavy sleeper, so the rest of the trip isn’t interrupted by the sounds of a crying baby. 

He enters his apartment. It’s totally empty, minus a few bags, the baby, him, and….

“You got him,” Kudou, his husband, says. His amber eyes are warmer than usual, staring at the baby in his arms.

“I feel sick,” he admits. The baby moves a little, snuggling closer to his chest. Yoichi imagines his baby nephew finds the sound of his heart relaxing. Anything to offset his racing thoughts. “I don’t think I can go through with this.”

Kudou places a firm hand on his back. “I won’t fault you if you don’t. It’s not easy, and if I was anymore approachable I would have been the one to do it. But it is either All for One, us, or a random family’s doorstep.”

“I- Midoriya-san is so kind,” Yoichi whispers, looking down at Izuku. “I don’t think she knows.”

“Would she tell you if she did?”

Yoichi thinks of his own lived experience of protecting his brother’s identity from prying feds and nosy neighbors. The constant paranoia that anyone he talked to could be vying for his brother’s head, and even now he wouldn’t want that. Especially if his brother decided to settle down and retire. 

But that’s a pipe dream , he realizes for the millionth time in the hundred-plus years he’s been alive.

“No,” he says, a finality in his tone. 

-x-x-x-

Izuku stays asleep for the duration of the car ride. Given, it’s not exactly a long ride, but the fact that he does stay asleep is a small mercy. Kudou doesn’t know what he would do if he had to both comfort his husband who is one minor inconvenience away from having a panic attack and soothe a crying baby. 

They bought a new house in the countryside. It’s still hours away, so they’re going to stop for tonight. He already feels like they are pressing their luck. 

Kudou pulls into a shady looking motel’s parking lot. A glowing ‘vacancy’ sign sits in the window. “I’ll be right back,” he says. Yoichi nods. He hasn’t said much this entire trip.

The receptionist is a middle-aged man who, upon Kudou asking for a room, threw the key at him, annoyed at being asked to do his job. After completing this, apparently, herculean task, the man returns to watching his soaps at full volume on the tiny TV in front of him. 

Kudou rolls his eyes. 

Some people. 

-x-x-x-

Yoichi sits in the front seat. He can’t get his mind off Midoriya-san. Izuku’s mom. He knows he shouldn’t feel bad. She made her choices. Choices that Izuku, being born into this family, had no say in. 

But he can’t stop the gnawing guilt clawing at his insides. It’s not too dissimilar to what he felt all those years ago, being rescued and (in certain people’s eyes) leaving his brother behind. The guilt of breaking an unspoken bond. 

The bond of brotherhood. 

The bond of perceived friendship. 

A hiccup startles Yoichi out of his thoughts. He looks over his shoulder at the baby (who is laying a pile of blankets in a laundry basket). Another hiccup and a sniffle. 

Oh, no!

That’s all the warning he gets before Izuku starts bawling. Little arms flailing around.. His face is scrunched up and red from the few seconds of crying. Yoichi unbuckles his seatbelt. He kneels on the seat, leaning over into the backseat. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he says, waving his hands around frantically. “Shhh….it’s-”

His husband decides to come back right at that moment. Kudou has an annoyed look on his face, but it instantly fades when he looks between the screaming baby and Yoichi’s tearful expression.

“Yo’,” he murmurs. “I got him. How about you go check our room out.”

“But,” Yoichi starts, anxious and frustrated in equal measure. Logically, he knows that he’s in no state to calm his nephew down. But the idea of not being the one to do it, of offloading that responsibility on someone else, only adds to his guilt. 

“We’ll be right behind you. You need a few minutes to yourself. Just to collect your thoughts.”

Yoichi opens his mouth to argue but finds that his husband (as always) is correct. “Fine,” he says. 

He gets out of the car, taking with him a backpack and the baby bag. The sounds of his baby nephew crying and his husband shushing him fall silent as he heads to their room. 

-x-x-x-

Kudou is a soldier. A warrior. A commander. 

He’s killed and fought and lost everything.

And somehow, wrangling a squirming baby is the hardest thing he’s ever done. He comes to two conclusions simultaneously. One, his nephew is going to be a royal pain in the ass, especially if they want to continue to stay undercover. And two, baby Izuku looks an awful lot like his dad. 

He shakes his head. He would rather chew on broken glass than willingly think about All for One. The bastard doesn’t deserve to take up residence in Kudou’s head. Not after all the chaos and calamity he’s caused. And, more importantly, the baby doesn’t deserve being compared to someone so awful. 

Tamping down any comparisons or thoughts of All for One, Kudou scoops the baby up. Izuku sniffles, looking up at him. His big eyes seem to search Kudou’s face, as if deciding on something. 

He breathes a sigh of relief, ear drums still ringing from the few seconds of the baby’s screams. But it’s short lived, as not a second later, Izuku bursts into hysterics - louder than before. 

Kudou sighs again, this time resigned to his fate. He carries the baby, squirming and crying like a banshee all the way across the motel parking lot. An older woman shoots him a dirty look as he passes. 

As if the baby crying is his fault. 

To be fair, it technically is. But she doesn’t know that. He glares at her, and feels a little vindicated when she quickly looks away. 

-x-x-x-

By the time he makes it to their room, Izuku has settled down some. He’s more still and his cries have less bite to them. Which doesn’t help his poor ears, but at least they won’t be kicked out because of a noise complaint (not Kudou has any faith in the guy up front to do anything about it). 

Yoichi is making a makeshift bassinet on the bed. He forms some of the pillows and blankets into a circle. He looks up when Kudou enters. 

“I was starting to worry.” He glances at the baby in Kudou’s arms. “He didn’t give you any trouble?”

Deciding not to fuel his husband’s growing anxiety, he shrugs his shoulders. “Nope. None.” 

He hands the baby off to his husband. Kudou busies himself with drawing up plans for the next day and offering small encouragements to Yoichi as he paces the room. 

Eventually, thankfully, as the sun sets beyond the horizon, the baby finally sleeps. His cries taper off into small whimpers and then into soft snores. Yoichi places the baby in the center of the bed, sliding into bed after him. His body curls around the pile of blankets. 

“Coming to bed?” Yoichi asks, quiet because of the looming threat of the baby waking up. 

Kudou hums. “Not yet. I’ll be there in a second.”

Yoichi nods, settling down for the night. It’s not long before he, too, is fast asleep. 

Kudou watches them for a while. If he didn’t know better, he could almost pretend that they just adopted Izuku. That the baby is really theirs, and not the product of All for One scheming. His heart clenches.

Izuku extends his arm in his sleep as if reaching out for something (or someone). 

He frowns, which only deepens further when the baby cries out in his sleep. His tiny hands brushing against scratchy blankets. 

Kudou puts his plans for the next couple of days on the back burner. He sits awkwardly on the edge of the bed. One of his hands hover above the baby, unsure of what to do or how to offer comfort. 

Carefully, tentatively, he strokes a finger down the baby’s chubby cheek. One of Izuku’s hands come up to grab onto him. The whimpering and crying instantly stops. 

Kudou comes to one more conclusion, body curled around the pile of blankets and pillows on their bed:

Their nephew, soon to be son, is innocent and needs to be protected and has all the potential in the world to become something great and kind - if they only treat him with all the compassion neither of them were given while growing up. 

He falls asleep, holding one of Izuku’s tiny hands. The baby’s fingers wrap around his thumb. 

Across from him, Yoichi smiles.

[callmebyyournamephoto]

  “We only had to wait five years for Chalamet and Luca Guadagnino, under whose direction the budding actor first made a name for himself, to stage their big blood-soaked reunion. Bones and All, thank god, is a blast: the Italian filmmaker seemingly has a knack for getting the most out of his favourite muse, and Chalamet pays it back with a level of emotional dexterity that recalls his astonishing debut. It's so exciting, too, to see Chalamet tackle a role that so strongly differs from his other work. His Lee is something of a Deanian bad boy, yes, but cut through with unspoken tragedy, a spirited outcast relegated to the margins. He's supported by great material, but to play a literal man eater as sympathetic is no mean feat.“

via British GQ