#i havent rambled on here in forever
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these IDIOTS
#[—✦ rambling#-✧ obm gameplay#totally not just here looking at chats that i missed#mammon obey me and simeon obey me i’ll love u forever#obey me updates are still like. all over the place#i honestly havent really been keeping up so much#but i do love the game and the characters regardless#just bc the game ends doesnt mean the fandom has to yknow 🤷
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{COMMISSIONS}
#my art#my oc#rambles?#MY BODY HAVE BEEN RUNNING ON NOTHING BUT COFFEE WITH MILK AND A PACK OR TWO OF CRACKERS#WHY HAVENT MY BODY GIVE UP YET???#and if you ask me no#me and my folks do not have enough money to just buy anything that EVERYONE in here will eat#the cheap thing is sushi#AND I HATE SUSHI#SUSHI MAKE DIZZY AND MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE#BURGER IS TOO EXPENSIVE#PIZZA TOO#do you know how much it is a coke of 500ml in here???#and im not talking about the 12 pack of coke#no#ALSO#THE CRACKERS ARE DONE#I JUST ATE THE LAST PACK#I lost my job a few weeks ago too and they still didn't pay me for the days I worked#I NEED TO CONSUME MEAT#i only ate coffee with milk and crackers yesterday#is getting harder and harder to just stay awake during the day#my body cant work like this forever#i need a job
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also I told them that I think I can say I don’t like 50s pop from the usa, but as we kept going I was like ‘well, I guess I do like [specific 50s pop song]’ and we kept having to narrow it down & sister thinks, specifically, I don’t like slow white doo-wop from the 50s. she might be right
#my ramblings#I don’t really like bobby vinton.#I find mr lonely insufferable to listen to.#blue velvet is ok I guess.#I like tennessee waltz fine.#I love the platters and I LOOOVE their cover of smoke gets in your eyes#I HATE LOLLIPOP I HAVENT THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SONG IN FOREVER#I like nat king cole but I feel like that’s more jazz than pop#tutti fruity is catchy but I don’t enjoy it#oh frank sinatra is on here. yeah I like most of his covers#the thing is tho some jazz covers do this thing with rhythm that I think gets in the way of my enjoyment#also still more jazz than pop. actually I guess sinatra is… basically pop culturally speaking. huh.#I do know I like swing & big band jazz#and I consistently like ragtime of course#ok I’m done going through this list of 50s songs#anyway this further proves that genres are too broad to make sweeping negative statements on
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one of my friends started playing hollow knight and we've been talking about it a lot.. i want to play it again and draw shit so bad
#thk forever my guy of all time#i havent hk posted that much on here since i mainly made this blog bc of tma#but trust i am so so insane about it <3#hollow knight#avery rambles
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not sure how i manage to be bad at making a self insert lmao, i always end up developing them into an entire OC in the end
#ramble tag#smth smth all art is self insert to a degree bc u cant help but leave pieces of urself in it#and also i have no proper self image. idk if thats bc of the identity related dissociation or what#unrelated but ive been trying to get more comfortable w the whole. roomies in the brain thing#which is hard bc reading related resources and support makes us shut down a bit so we never get more than a few sentences in lmao#thats like so dumb. i already know guys. we can read about it i promise it wont hurt!#forever thinking about the time a therapist said DID and immediately walked it back bc it was way too soon to call that lol#i still dont call it that bc its hashtag complicated#me looking at that one section of our notes app: have i met literally any of you people#i explained it to my coworkers at my first job like#''ok u know they 'there r 2 wolves inside u' thing? imagine that but many wolves. here let me draw a chart real quick-''#we took turns more back then for some reason#i miss vie. p sure theyre fine i just havent seen them in a bit.
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i am finally trying to catch up with warrior cats because i miss knowing what's going on in all of the amvs/pmvs (that i watch no matter where in the series they're from because they're always SO GOOD). also i love fanart of kittycats. wish me luck.
#yes my username on everything is bramblepaws yes i havent even read past the first book of the shadows series#I KNOW BRAMBLE..........star..... GETS BAD TOO AT SOME POINT AND IM SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!#i liked bramblekit and bramblepaw cuz he was an eerie little weirdo who knew this Adult Cat Hated Him For Some Reason#once he became a warrior he stopped being a weirdo which made him boring. to me.#and i don't care for him as a leader. i'll say it. he sucks. he's boring. so#i did not enjoy alderpaw in the first book which i finished today but im liking the second book better#it's INTERESTING. actual shit is happening unlike the dovepaw stuff that is 90% lost from my memory#text#ramblings#hi i haven't really said anything on here in forever. you will hear my warrior ramblings though. it will happen#warriors#warrior cats#warriors ramblings
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thinking about.... various scars that ashton has received over the years
little sketch + various little notes
#been forever since ive been here. hi#havent had much free time lately! but i miss rping. a lot.#cw abuse#cw slavery#ashy rambles :: ooc#ᴀꜱʜᴛᴏɴ ; ᴄᴀɴᴅʏ-ʙᴇᴀʀ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛɪᴇ-ᴘɪᴇ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴀᴅᴏʀᴇᴅ#every time i draw their skirt its like it rides a little lower on them
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me: trying to have a friendly conversation with my piano student ☺️
my student: "yea... 👀 OK BUT YOUR CAT 😍😍"
momo: absolutely thriving off the attention 😼😤
#momo has many fans#meanwhile i am being neglected by my own students lmao#momo the cat#my ramblings#havent given yall a momo update in forever so i guess here it is! lol#teacher bean adventures
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the solidarity i feel with my new mutuals is unparalleled
the nwtb brainrot is strong but together we are stronger
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hi please pray for my math exam to go well. please......... this->🐛 is me
#babygirl i did /not/ study at all over the weekend. i did not even look in her face#frantically going over the topics... √ i hate you. war and destruction on gods green earth#i havent even gotten to the. the things#there arent even online summaries of those...#🌙rambling#// if i dont do well here i will choke and die forever. ten million explosions#aheem heem........ whimper#every math exam i reconsider if i really want to take the ... whats it called? numeric part? for my next grades#quite honestly i love biology! and chemistry! but these useless and annoying physics and math topics are being so so rude to me#i may as well go for the equal part. which will be better for me i think#math i love you under circumstances but currenly you are spitting in my face. please stop...... i am literally a little guy#they should /not/ have the right to do this to a little guy like me. please im a little birthday boy (lie).........
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i have so much work to do and therefore i will write the new chapter of the superhero au. this is the smartest decision i have ever made
#of course i'm currently doing neither and instead posting on tumblr. second smartest decision i have ever made (<- it is not)#does anyone even remember the plot of it because i sure as hell don't#anyway one of my favourite fics got updated a few weeks ago and i'm seething becuase i havent gotten around to reading it yet and. ahhh#maybe i should just turn in la vie te blesse souvent for this french assignment. the french title has to count for Something right#august rambles#<- this post is especially a ramble my apologies for that. actually no no apologies y'all signed up for this when you followed me#anyway in the next chapter of the superhero au expect sophie and dex friendship and physic n juline being badass and sophie being Done#somebody take away the add tags button from me i'm going to keep talking here forever
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was just talking to my partner yesterday about how i haven't touched this blog in AGES and i completely fell off of that steddie fic i was writing...i don't have much love at all for stranger things left at this point, but i'm also rired of never finishing fan projects, so i'm kind of tempted to try and finish i'm glad it's you. i know it's been literally a year and a half at minimum since i updated it last, but i had the entire story outlined so i might as well at least give it another go and see if i can finish it after all...?
#idk if any of my mutuals on here have any particular feelings about this but im just kinda rambling#like i dont necessarily want to work on a project that my heart just isn't in#but i also hate that i never finish large-scale projects like this and it's kinda freakin me out especially as i'm entering#my last year of grad school like i dont want this to be a cycle i repeat forever yknow#but i also dont want it to be super OOC or just super clear that i havent touched it in forever#i guess i could always just post what i've got and share the original plans for the story for anyone who's got it saved and was hoping for#an eventual update#but idk!!#it is the fic i've gotten the most attention on in my life so like. i feel like it deserves to be seen through in some way
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irls that im not really comfortable being super vulnerable abt have my main, so i might start reblogging some stuff here
#rambling fyo#i say to a crowd of empty seats#might start hornyposting here too... i havent been able to do that on main in forever#on account of the irls..#none of them are on tumblr as much as i am but still
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there's something about writing recovery. recovery in real life never concludes. it's sedate and day-to-day. there are milestones but mostly you don't realize you've gotten much better. i think. so writing it is strange. writing the slow gradual change of soul feeling like he's a person rather than a thing would be strange. like wouldn't you need tens of thousands of words of slice of life? or you cut it off. or you decide a point in which you'll be done, soul is recovered now. and you know that isn't really true but it has to stop somewhere. that kind of scale is just impossible to have in fiction, right? i don't know. i don't know how i would do it, it's a pretty insurmountable task, or it seems so. portraying the creeping feeling of things getting better. of taking longer and longer to relapse each time. or you could do it to love sound again style and just have a moment, a moment in which he realizes - yes, i can live like this.
these were the reasons that i decided to have the fic just be like. soul gathering a will to live. cause that is so much easier. idk thoughts
^^^
I agree that it's difficult to write recovery. It's certainly nice to have a character have a neat, linear recovery where they're perfectly healed by the end of it and manage to fix all of their problems and issues. It's nice to have a character face all of their challenges and trials, and triumph over them, and then get to say and then they all lived happily ever after.
But in real life that's just. Not how things work. Recovery is not linear. It has ups and downs. Things get better, certainly, they do. Things get less hard. But it's like that one post like— grief never goes away, and it doesn't get smaller; you just grow around it. Things get better, but perfection, some state of complete healed-ness where you can point at them and say "see, they're perfectly healed now!" is just. not attainable.
I mean yeah, the nature of stories is that you need to end it somewhere, which is one of the reasons it's so hard to write recovery in a way that feels fully realistic and true. Because recovery is never truly, fully done. Even at one's best, there would still be times where reminders of things that happened would come up, and it would still sometimes hurt, even just a little bit. It would take a lot of dedicated time to be able to portray something close to the reality of it.
But like. You can patch wounds up and treat them, but that doesn't make them fully go away, it's not just something you can forget about. But you can get patched up and treated and let the wounds heal. And scars are a lot better than just letting yourself bleed.
An ending that feels true would differ from person to person, I think, because everyone's relationship and journey with recovery is different. I don't personally know how I would write it, but that's a mixture of I've never written anything that's super long + writing is a journey and if I actually got the ideas and motivation to sit down and write a long recovery piece, my answer to that question would probably change by the time I was done.
Obviously with recovery one would need to portray, like, backslides, times where things get worse, or relapses, and how that affects their view on their own recovery and how they get past those things, but that's mostly just a given.
It would be a lot of moments strung together to tell the wider story, as recovery often is irl. You would need a lot of slice of life stuff. Especially because that can often be where some of the most important realizations happen with recovery.
But yeah. Writing recovery is difficult, but it's not impossible. Just like recovering oneself is difficult but not impossible. It can be daunting and it would take a lot of effort, just like writing any longform story would be.
#hello people in my phone#a small (does that count as small?) thing i would include in portraying recovery would be like.#a fear of backsliding. a worry that one bad moment‚ or multiple‚ means that you havent recovered at all#or that youre going to go back to square one and have to start over entirely#but how that isnt. true. the fear is very real and valid and strongly felt. But it doesnt mean that one has to#start over forever. or that theyll never make it back to this point or havent progressed at all.#they have! but theres going to still be bad days sometimes. that doesnt mean that it was all for naught#does that make sense#im kind of rambling a bit here but. oh well you know how it is#If this is somewhat incoherent‚ i was typing portions of it while trying to get ready to go somewhere#so thats probably why#felixlupin.txt#Twiggy 🌘
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Most of the time I have the patience to deal with people but dear lord there's no stupider creature than the customer
#fable rambles#they made me wake up early ive been here forever and i havent had coffee today#dying#anyways shoutout (evil)#to the guy who stood uncomfortably too close to me then came back to ask if we had iron on letters told me i was wrong when i told him#what isle it was in even though he was just dumb#and shoutout (beloved) to dinosaur guy#dinosaur guy was really nice and he gave me a sticker
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trying my very darnedest to finish this fic to have for yall tonight !! (very short) hao fic coming asap
#[💒] — june.txt#its been forever since ive posted i promise im working on things !!! so many wips !! just very slowly#its not holiday themed but do we mind if i post xmas fics after xmas? yay or nay#bc i do have holiday ideas i just havent finished them 😔 hoshi & boo fics SOON just not super motivated for those rn#so many wips. like at least a couple dozen i'm hoping to finish one more short one by new years#sorry for rambling in the tags its been too long since ive given an update but im still here 🙏🏻
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