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aliceinborderlandsquidgame · 14 hours ago

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Wrong move | The Salesman x Fem!Reader

Summary: He thought you were in love with him....maybe he needs to show you how much you need him.

Warnings: SFW - Possessive!Salesman - Obsessive!Salesman - Controling!Salesman - Red flag basically - Unhealthy relationship - Power imbalance - DARK!Salesman - grammar mistakes -

Note: Not part of "Home Bliss", this is a different universe.

"No"

These were the words that have been in the Salesman's mind for a week now. His aparment, a place he used to love coming to since you were here waiting for him now felt like a empy box. Walls too grey to look at, too dull. The food did not have teaste and his bed felt too big.

When did things go wrong ? He did everything right.

Saw you one day at the local park, got enamoured by you. Followed you around, got to know your schendelure so he could see you from afar. Was able to hack your phone to know every last detail. Your social media were poorly secured. He got to know you like he knew his own skin, when he finally did approach you, you were already his.

And after two years, two years of beautiful moments together, perfectly crafted by him, each one calculated and made so you would fall more and more for him. He got you to move in with him, he was accepted by your friends, your family loved him, and saw him like part of it.

He was sure, centrain that this was the right moment. The perfect one. This was your favorite season, favorite month, perfect hour of the day and a well secured place so you would not feel pressure over it.

Some part of him wanted you to come to him willing.

But your words were marked liked fire. The exchange and after events lived rent free inside his head.

How he had managed to keep his facade he has no idea. The aparment (after you refused to get back) was the one that suffered his rage. All the expensive forniture was destroyed by him, some walls had blood by how much he had punched them.

He was a mess, a disaster. How could yo do it ? After everything? Weren't you two the perfect match ?

A ding from his phone, the ding he had set just for you sounded.

"Sorry, I think its better if we stop seeing each other. I will pass to get my things soon"

The phone went flying. Were you breaking up with him by text ? When he had read all the exchange with your friends ? Like how scared you were and how fast it felt. Why were you doing this?

And your doubts ? He never saw them, you seemed content by his side. And loved him like that.

But your personal diary on your phone said different. You felt trapped, like he knew too much, like he was not being honest.

Maybe he should have been more...severe? Showing you just how bad he could be, maybe he let your leash go too large and now he was paying the consequences.

But would he give up ? No. After all you were just confused, and scared, you just needed a reminder of how much you needed him. How he could be the only one for you.

He took the phone back, the screen broke but other functions working. He ignored your message and instead went to his contacts. He had many friends, friends that could ruin you completly.

"I need a favor"

Leaving him was the start of your nightmare.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

At first the relationship was fine. How does peopel put it ? Honeymoon? Well you two had it for very long.

He was the man any woman could ask for, gentle, caring, doting, never forgot a special date. And would get your favorite things.

But something was off. His eyes, the same dark eyes that sparked when he saw you, these eyes would change to sharp and cold around others. You felt like he was always on you, even when being away for work, he would just know when to send you a message or call you.

Would meet you randomly on the streets, knew when you wanted to do something even when you never mentioned it.

Something was wrong. Your gut told you to run from him but you did not know how. After all on the eyes of everyone he was perfect.

Then he asked to marry you, and you saw your chance. You could say you got scared and that things just did not work out after it.

But it did not go that way.

Once you had got your things from his aparment your Boss called, he had said how sorry he was but the company was cutting off some employees and you were one of them.

Your work, your dream work. The one you had passed years preparing yourself, tears and blood for it. The one that made your parents proud.

Ripped out from you with one call.

Then it came your social circle. Slowly your Friends stopped meeting with you, some removed you from their social media, and some blocked your number. You never got to know what was wrong, or what you did.

And later your parents, it was a shame losing your job, it was worse not being able to get another one.

"Sorry we are looking for something different"

"Your solicitude was read but right now we need another thing"

"We will call you"

Rent became impossible, and so you had to move back with them. Your mother was not happy, telling you how much of a failure you were, how your brother was making money overseas and how your sister had made a family.

Your father did not even look at you. Like he felt guilty, not even the company he used to work for would take you in.

Your days became a circle of sending out curriculums and doing your best to keep your parents happy even when you knew they did not want you there.

And some days you would go to the park and cry. Not caring if others saw you, your life was ruined, you had nothing. Maybe....maybe if you had said yes....

Checking your phone you saw the contacts, mom, dad, brother, sister and him. You were sure you had removed his number but it kept coming back. Maybe you were getting sick because of the stress. Your finger went over the call buttom till you finally hitted it.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

He never wanted to see you like this, so broken, so out of life. Maybe he had insolated you too much. Let some lies to your Friends and mother that grew and now they hated you. Your father was a rough one, he had used some...other methods for him. But did coperate at the end.

"You dont seem so good" Were his first words and you looked down at your lap.

"Im sorry for have called you.., after everything"

"Dont say anything. I was glad I got your call. I wanted to know how you were doing" He lied, he knew you were miserable.

Only him could fix it.

"I have...well things have been bad" You addmited "I dont want to burden you with it, maybe this was a mistake"

You went to get up and leave but a firm grip on your hand stopped you. His eyes, cold and sharp like he was seeing his prey.

You, you were his prey.

"Sit" It was an order not a request "Lets talk for a bit more, maybe I can help you, for the old times"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

"Are you sure? (Y/N) you can still go back and say no" Your fathers voice cut off.

You were wearing a beautiful weeding dress, outside from a ceremenoy to take place.

"Dad...you have been saying that since I told mom and you that I was getting married. This is good, we actually made up and I even got my work back, with double pay. Was not what you wanted for me?"

Your father did not respond. He still remembers that night. The night your "perfect" boyfriend appear. When he told him how your life would be so bad you would be wishing you were gone.

"And if thats not enoguh, maybe leaving her limp like you will do the trick"

He had tried for many months to hide his injury, the injury that man had caused him and promised to do the same to you.

"Dad? Its your leg hurting? You are crying"

"No dear, im fine. A little emotional to see you go"

When the doors opened and he walked you in and saw the monster you were going to marry he felt like dying there. When he gave you to him he could see it, he was liking his pain.

"I will take good care of her" Were his only words, and by the time his eyes were on you it had changed.

Love? Obsession ? A twisted sense of care ? No one could tell, no one dared to ask.

Him ? He was just happy you finally accepted what was best for you.

Him, he was the best for you.

"Till death do us apart"

Not even death would be able to separate you from him.

#squid game imagines #squid game x y/n #squid game x reader #the salesman x reader #the recruiter x reader

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thewalrusespublicist · 3 days ago

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"Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol)"

OMG no way! Your blog is one of the best here! What i love the most is reading the analysis and meta from the users, there's always more information and good takes, and yours are always quite deep and insightful.

I would love if you share your opinions about Stuart as well. I feel like he is obviously more sanctified that he should be since he died young (like that insane quote from his mom saying that Brian told her that Stuart could have been the Beatles' manager, no way lol) and i feel his memory has been used to attack Paul, sometimes in a very unfair way. Like, i don't deny the teenage drama and jealousy that Paul felt about him but he *was* a shitty bass player and the band was Paul's future, he was allowed to criticized him not only for being John's new bestie. I also think John played with them both but i lack of your eloquence so i will love to read your take about it.

Hi anon! And the other anons!

Thank you again and to all the other messages I got, they were extremely sweet and really made my day. :)

From my inbox, it's clear you guys want to know about Stu and his role in the Beatles legacy. Well you asked for it and a novel you shall have. Be warned this might be the longest post I've done so grab like a drink or something.

A few disclaimers: I wish and had intended for this to be more of a deep dive into Stu as a whole person rather than just his relationship with John and Paul. Unfortunately I just didn't have the space to do it. If you want to know more about Stu I would highly recommend @eppysboys' blog which is the source for all things Stu Sutcliffe and where I got a lot of this info. Please check their stuff out. Also, I'm going to be a bit blunter on this than maybe I usually am because this topic has been irritating me for some time. Oh also I’m trying my best to answer a lot of asks in one post so please forgive if I don’t fully answer your specific ask about this!

Stu in a perfect world should be a fandom darling: an exciting cipher, a handsome artistic talent that died way too soon who had a major influence in the early Beatles style. It's like there’s this secret other James Dean looking mf Beatle hidden away to uncover, that's cool and he is cool! The problem is that he’s sort of becomes radioactive to talk about in a normal way due to how he's been portrayed and utilised in some biographies and fandom spaces, particularly those that have been infected by John Lennon aspirational boy bestie syndrome. As those types of spaces cannot seem to exist without tearing down Paul to prop John up as their special lil guy, Stu as John's other best friend has become the ideal heavy object to hit Paul McCartney over the head with. It's like a corrosive element, the minute Stu hits a Beatles bio, the biographer suddenly loses all training in objectivity and source work and starts waxing lyrical about 100 percent reliable never biased or wrong Saint Stu of Hamburg who died for our condom arson sins and that Paul McCartney should feel bad about every day of his life for not worshipping Stu and not accepting his own ‘place’ in life as John's just-some-guy placeholder best friend. I’ve personally seen so many posts and forums where Stu being mentioned leads to a legion of comments about how Paul could never have been Stu (correct both ways) and how John would never have even glanced at Paul for much longer if Stu had been alive. Sidenote: If you seriously think that the musical savant from down the road whom John went on to produce the most prolific song writing partnership in history with couldnt have kept his attention for long then I'm begging you on hands and knees to get your head out of the arse of your John Lennon body pillow and be serious. But anyway…

This boy bestie battle royale approach has in turn lead to a reflex reaction where Stu gets studiously ignored by other sections of the fandom as a precedent has been set that shining a light on him diminishes Paul and John's relationship with Paul. It's frustrating because if people weren't so keen to cut Paul out of his own story then we would get a much better nuanced view of every single person involved.

So let's put aside all of our defenses, cut the John Lennon loved one ranking system bullshit and lets look at the actual question here which is what was John and Stu's relationship really like and what did he mean to John?

John and Stu met at art college a year or so after Paul and John met. Up to that point John and Paul had their fun little codependant thing going on but Stu quickly became a huge fixture in John's life. Stu had things that Paul couldn't really offer at that point in time. John was at his heart a musician who aspired to be seen as an artist (he would later express surprise that he didn't become an artist). Stu was the passionate artist who knew tons about the art of the period that could teach and inspire John. Their creative leanings meant they could work on projects together and share art notebooks and poetry. (Including yes the one with anti-semitic story which I mention again as I believe it's an important thing to remember when it comes to both John and Stu and the culture of the time.) Stuart by the sounds of it was even writing a novel about John at the time of his death. They were fascinated and inspired by each other.

So, creatively they fired each other up but more importantly perhaps, Stu and John were peers. It's funny to think about when you see the Beatles later but at the time Paul and George were the kids in their school uniform coming to see their cool older friend at art school. That's an important divide. When Paul and George's parents insisted their kids do their homework and go to bed, John and Stu could stay up and talk all hours of the night, which they did. They also could rent a place together and spend long hours chatting (despite John moving out later after realising electricity cost money lol.) There's a different dynamic that the age similarity offered as well. Whilst Paul would later somewhat grow into this role, Stu could act as an authority figure to John as well as open up to John in a way you can really only do with your peers. Stu was the person John opened up to throughout Stu's life:

How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don’t really know who I’m writing to or why it’s quiet peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it but if I put it in a little part of my [almost?] secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don’t care really what happens because when I think about it, it’s so bloody unimportant – but what is important who has the right to say that this letter is not important and this is a something any way – anyway – anyway – yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet it’s gear. & how are you keepin Stuart old chap are you as ok – is life as good – bad shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing and coolness on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don’t write out of – er what is it? well not because you think you ought to write when you feel like So goodbye (from John you know the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE see you soon I don’t know why I said that I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them so what so what so fucking what I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high when only shitting was dirty and everything else clean + beautiful I can’t remember anything without a sadness So deep that it hardly becomes known to me so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY + so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny nonny no

Extract from a letter to Stuart Sutcliffe from John Lennon, 1961

By lots of accounts Stu was gentle but firm when it came to telling John he'd gone too far. John references this aspect of Stu to Hunter Davies:

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I'd believe him."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

In this way I kind of see Stu as a proto-Yoko. John was so insecure and uncertain about his grip on the world and reality that he relied on Stu to be his point of reference and guide. Paul did this too later and I think in Hunter Davies John mentions this, but not at this time period and not as much due to their competitiveness. This may be why some people saw Stu as the person that really understood John at this time period:

"During the turbulent adolescence that prefaced a turbulent manhood, hardly anyone knew Lennon as intimately as Stuart Sutcliffe. If they weren't exactly David and Jonathan, June Furlong, one of the life models at Liverpool's Regional College of Art, had "never seen two teenagers as close as those two."

The Gospel According To Lennon by Alan Clayson

Now this person likely never met John and Paul together but this is only one of many similar quotes and even Julia captain of John and Paul's friendship boat seems to agree there was a period where Stu dominated and Paul 'kept his distance' from the John-Cyn-Stu 'menage-a-trois'. But the friendship wasn't perfect and his position as John's ultimate best friend was never iron clad. This is best outlined by the shit they pulled when John convinced him to join on Bass for the Beatles.

Despite being John's best friend, Stu was teased and bullied:

"They argued as usual amongst themselves, but most of all they picked on Stu, the newest member of the group. John, George and Paul had been with each other long enough to know that rows and arguments and criticism didn't mean much. If it did, you just argued back. "We were terrible," says John. "We'd tell Stu he couldn't sit with us, or eat with us. We'd tell him to go away, and he did." At one hotel they stayed at, a variety show had just left. There had been a dwarf in the show and they found out which bed he had slept in and said that would have to be Stu's. They certainly weren't going to sleep in it. So Stu had to. "That was how he learned to be with us," says John. "It was all stupid, but that was what we were like."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

Why John encouraged this I have no idea, maybe jealousy over Stu's looks and wanting to play people off each other? Things were tense in both Scotland and Hamburg, especially between Stu and Paul. As I said in my last post, the girls were fighting and it was mutual. Paul was mad for both fair and immature teenage-boy reasons. Stu could not be bothered with the bass most of the time and couldn't really play well and was only there as he was '(John's) best friend' (ouch for Paul). Paul conversely had given up higher education to be there and was sending lots of money back home. He also was dating the girl Paul fancied. Stu was popular with the new group and also did mean things like help John steal Paul's money when money was really tight for him. Paul in turn was a passive aggressive, jealous and mean. It all came to ahead in the punch up onstage which according to Spitz came about from Paul wanting money back and saying that Stu could borrow some from Astrid. Stu goes for him and reports vary from full-on bust up to embarrassing scuffle. Stu then goes to where Astrid and Paul's gf Dot are, demands Dot leaves and goes on a rant about Paul. Now all of this must be framed in the context of Stu receiving increasing brain damage from his condition that seemingly lead to mood swings and anger. Nevertheless, the mutual needling and anger, as well as John's refusal to do/say fuck all about it, especially given how protective John was of Stu, suggests that it wasn’t straightforward and/or John may have been playing some games to make both feel threatened. This would also make sense as to why we hear conflicting accounts of John and Stu being the centre of everything and everyone else in orbit AND John and Paul being the centre and everyone else playing catch-up, as well as John giving Paul the lead to take him round the Reeperbahn when John got dressed in the gorilla costume. (I know Paul may have just been the closest there but that always gave off bestie behaviour to me.)

(I did get an ask about how John and Paul's friendship survived it, I think it was damaged by Hamburg. When Paul got back home he got a job at a construction site and there's just a vibe of everything being a bit on tenterhooks. John also acts a bit weird at the period, not talking to anyone for a few weeks then making a lot of weird demands from Paul. I'm really not sure what to make of it.)

Even when he's back in Liverpool, John still writes long letters to Stu and vice-versa. I can't find it at all but I’ve read a really sad interview with John saying he missed his best mate and it's a shame that he's not with them. He had no idea at that point that Stu had already died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.

John is said to have gone into hysterics when he found out Stu had died. A lot of people who've spoken about this time (Aunt Mimi, his sister Julia, the Exsis) concur that at this point Stu was his best friend and the death shattered him. He even told Astrid he wished he could give his life for Stu’s. This is backed up by the fact that John never forgot Stu and his shadow lingered for the rest of John's life:

Stu was recalled in In My Life

Years later, after John composed the first of his truly poignant and heartfelt Beatles songs, "In My Life"—with its lines about "friends I still can recall/some are dead and some are living"—he revealed to me that the two people he had had uppermost in mind were myself and Stuart Sutcliffe. And then he stunned me with a statement that I'd never heard him address to anyone—least of all to another man. "You know, Pete," he said softly, "I do love you. But," he quickly added, "I loved Stuart as well."

Weird that Paul isn't mentioned surely you think that he would be mentioned if Pete was there too okay, okay my tin hat is going away this isn't the time

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life

In 1965 John drew Stu on a postcard

He apparently said this about Stu prior to sending the postcard, prompted by an article about Stuart.

The card had been sent from Genoa mid-way through the Beatles' Italian tour. [...] But the conversation had become maudlin when I reminded him that he was going to talk to me for an article about Stuart. [...] In that sad telephone conversation before they set off for Milan, I asked him if he was happy: 'I'd be a lot happier if Stuart was still part of us,' he said, 'The Beatles would be complete.' And before he rang off he said 'Ill send you something.'

He also appears on the cover of Sgt Pepper

As mentioned, Stu gets mentioned in Hunter Davies in terms of wistfulness and guilt AND he gets a mention in John's insane 'if I were a homosexual' ramblings in early 70s. According to Yoko, John also wanted Yoko to write letters to him and didn't think it would be strange because Stu wrote letters to him.

I have a pet theory that as with a lot of things for John, his unresolved grief over Stu really came to the fore in the late 60s now that he had actually had a chance to sit down and think about things. I believe it was partially why he wanted Yoko to write letters and why he gets mentioned in the early 70s as a collaborator/best friend and not in 1980 where John only gives that credit to Paul and Yoko. I think with the cracks with Paul, John had started to think back on his old friend and guide and what advice he would give.

Stuarts presence is still felt throughout the seventies:

“He told me everything. He loved to talk about Hamburg. There were no secrets. It was the kind of life I never knew…. It meant total freedom. At his side always was Stuart, sweet Stuart. There wasn’t a time in John’s life when he didn’t think about Stuart. He spoke always of his love and respect for Stuart.”

Yoko discussing Stu in When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles’ Rise to the Top by Larry Kane

Coming to grips with his death is also present in Skywriting

SEAN O’HAIRE: What happened to Stuart Cliff? DR. FISCHY: What happened was a full exchange of energy where it was not needed within the expression of your own self or in the energies involved around and about you. We cannot call it a happening. We’ll say it is an awakening, for in that way it has served an expression from the past to the present and to the future to where there shall be more of that incomplete vibration expressed to you in a more fuller understanding.

Skywriting by Word of Mouth, John Lennon

This isn't exhaustive but I think from all this it's pretty clear that John adored Stu, John grieved Stu and kept grieving Stu. Stu had a specific place in his life as a confidant that he tried to recreate with Yoko. At the time of Stu's death, he was John's best friend, probably slightly over Paul. Stuart had been able to be both a friend and paternal presence, a confidant and an artistic collaborator. His presence and loss was one of the foundational points in John's life.

But as we've been asked to play this stupid game and so many bios like to make a hoopla about it, were they at their closest ever as close as John and Paul were at their height?

No.

How do we know? Because John told us so:

" He [Paul] still is the closest friend I've ever had, except for Yoko, so I'm still close to him whatever goes on."

John Lennon to an interviewer, 1971

But Walrus! John just says shit! How do we know he isn't leaving out Stu because the press don't know Stu. Well true John does just say shit but this is at a time where John isn't the most glowing about Paul and he's had no problem mentioning Stu in this time period ('one of my best friends ever' would have made a similar point).

But Walrus again! If John picked Stu over Paul when they were young why wouldn't he be the boy bestie of all time, and why would John say that he was closer to Paul? Well, because of the environment and timings. Stu's death happened near the beginning of John and Paul's major bonding moments. If you look at their personal timeline, Paris, the Nerk twins, and getting signed happened just before Stu died. That's missing the major years of Beatlemania, Key West, LSD, Paul growing more into being John's peer and a load of other huge moments in their lives. It's like how John writes to Cyn in 1962 about wanting the house to themselves and not have Paul around all the time. Would you say because he feels closer to Cyn then that John in his overall lifetime loved Cyn more than Paul? No, because relationships change over time and theirs were no exception. (One thing to consider as well is that we don't yet have many letters between John and Paul during their Beatles years and earlier, probably because they were spending so much time with each other. We know a couple exist that Paul considers too personal for publication but I'm sure there are others. It's easy to understand what John felt for Stu as we have the letters, I think we would also have an easier time understanding what John felt for Paul if we had the equivalent of those.)

At the end of the day Paul was the man he believed he had a psychic bond with, the man he couldn’t shut up about, the man whom he’d conquered the world with with their endless collaboration, the man with a twin personality to him and according to John spent more time with throughout the 60s than he had with Yoko ever. To be frank if Paul had died in 67' I don't think this would have been a conversation.

As mentioned early, in early 1970s John elevates his partnership with Stu to his collaborations with Paul and Yoko but by 1980 he’s pretty clear that Paul and Yoko are their own category.

"I was saying to somebody the other day, “There’s only two artists I’ve ever worked with for more than a one night stand, as it were. That’s Paul McCartney, and Yoko Ono.” And I think that’s a pretty damned good choice!!"

John Lennon interview with DJ Dave Sholin, 1980

There are of course the what ifs. Would Stu still being alive mean that John was not as close with Paul? Maybe, highly doubtful though as the Beatles experience was so intense. If Stu remained a Beatle would John be as close with Paul? If Stu remained a Beatle he wouldn't be Stu so no. At the same time who knows what it would have been like if Paul and John were peers from the off? I said this to @the62ndbugsfan when it comes to Stu vs Paul (hi girl sorry i've made our chat a whole ass post lol) but to go a bit Wuthering Heights, soulmates are made as much from the earth as they are of the stars. What binds us is our experiences just as much as our personalities. There may be a universe where Stu and John took on the art world together or became inseparable bffs again after the Beatles disbanded, but it is not our universe. In this universe Stu tragically died and John and Paul chose to become Lennon/McCartney and artistically unite themselves forever.

Even going back to Stu's lifetime, I've said it before and I'll say it again I find it interesting that not only did John choose to go to Paris with Paul rather than pay to meet up with Stu somewhere but that they arranged to meet up with Juergen and nobody told Stu until they'd already gone. Stu was shocked and didn't know if it meant the end of the Beatles which is a pretty big thing for him not to know about. Why didn't John tell him if they're apparently still writing long letters? Was it because he really wanted to do this with Paul and didn't want to hurt Stu's feelings? And that's really the point I want to make here. Due to his trauma John was preoccupied with reinforcing ranking of relationships within his life. But the thing is friendship rankings are made up guidelines and the reality is far more complicated. You can have a designated best friend but feel closer to another friend at times, you can want to do one thing specifically with one friend and not the other for various reasons. You can (as I do) have more than one equal best friend. Friendship as with most relationships are in a constant state of flux and each friendship you have will give and mean a different thing, even if they are of similar value to you.

Paul may have ended up closer to John than Stu had been, but that doesen't make John's relationship with Stu any less special. Nor does Stu negate the significance of Paul. Whilst both fit into John's pattern of intense relationships and demands related to that, both had unique positions and meaning to him. Considering what I've gone into about John's closeness to Stu, it actually says something deeply, borderline unnervingly, intense about John and Paul that Paul pipped Stu to the post. Maybe it's time Beatles bios accept the fact that John Lennon just wouldn't be into them like that, stop using a tragically prematurely deceased young man as a prop in their jealous psychological warfare against Paul McCartney, stop perpetuating one of the most damaging games that John did to his loved ones and allow both relationships the space to shine and showcase the amazing talent that was the Beatles and those that surrounded them.

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eclipseberrycake · 1 day ago

Text

Poly! MoonBerryCake x Reader

I took some inspiration from @huneybeen who wrote this first so please please dont hate me but I've been thinking about them for the past 3 days and I needed to word vomit.

...K thanks bye.

Divider Credit: @sister-lucifer

☁ The dynamic of this alone is something I'd like to touch on especially because it's so fun to me.

☁ I imagine if anything the reader would be a common toon, so that changed things. You have two mains, Astro and Sprout, and two commons, yourself and Cosmo.

☁ You and Cosmo probably meet first because of that. You get close because of similar interests and stay close during runs.

☁ To add an extra layer to this, imagine Distactor! Reader too? Licking my fingers at this.

☁ Cosmo thought he had just gotten a new friend! He loves giving them treats and using them as a taste tester and even taking naps together wherever possible! It's great!

☁ Until...it's not? Why are you taking off? Why do the trinkets hooked onto your belt look suspiciously like the ones Goob and Tisha are known to use? Why are you actively getting the Twisteds attention?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

☁ The first time he sees you distract is a little stressful for poor Cosmo. The second you're back in the elevator and it clinks shut, he is whirling on you and demanding an explanation.

☁ He's so exasperated that he's left speechless when you simply smile up at him, still high off adrenaline, while talking a mile a minute about how much fun that was.

☁....Are you insane?

☁ That being said, after the fact, Cosmo is literally your personal healer. He is constantly fighting Toodles the other toons for heals, not for himself, not really, but so he's never left with nothing to give you.

☁ That's probably when he realizes he has an initial crush on you. He's mid-way through using a med-kit on you, on a floor high enough he can see the running starting to effect you. You're sluggish and fatigued and can't chug pop fast enough. It makes his chest ache at the sight before he's swallowing his nerves and wrapping his arms around you.

☁ "You're doing great. Thank you for the work you do."

☁ Feeling you melt against him made every grueling floor worth it in that moment. The draining yank of his own health leaving him to go to you through every new treat was far beyond repaid. He would do it a million times over for you if only for a smidge chance at this moment again.

☁ The run was finished soon after that, and you were quick to express your thanks towards him after that. Safe to say, if you thought he was clingy before, that was nothing. It's like he literally took an invisible chain and connected it between you two and you just haven't found it yet.

☁ He's always there with a smile and a treat and a snuggle if time and twisteds permit.

☁ Now, some world building for ya. I imagine that the OG Twisteds of the mains you see, are the real mains until that research is completed. Then Dandy lets you purchase an...un-twist antidote or something and that's when they come back. It's fun to me >:(.

☁ Following this, most people are gonna assume Sprout comes first.

☁ WRONG. I got Astro first so guess whose coming back. Astro.

☁ When Astro comes back, he's evidently shaken by the whole ordeal. The mains probably didn't know the commons overly well unless they were explicitly paired together. Like Sprout and Cosmo in that one animation, or Glisten and Vee, etc. Astro isn't seen with any commons, as far as I know, so he's probably a little lost and feels like an outsider.

☁ While he's recovering he's banned from any runs. Point blank period. However, that means he's alone while the commons are all out scavenging for research.

☁ Guess who comes in? Guess :)

☁ It's you!

☁ Unlike Cosmo, there are other distracting toons. Tisha and Goob both are more than happy to take some shifts while you stay back to recover yourself. Unfortunately, there's only one Cosmo, so he's left going on the runs as a healer and leaving you behind. You always see him off though, giving him pecks on the cheek before he's stepping into the elevator.

☁ You take the time to wander through Gardenview, eyeing each room as you pass before blinking at the infirmary. The new toon was in there.

☁ Astro half expected you to just continue on, regardless of if he was there or not. He was fine on his own, even if it wasn't his favorite. It reminded him too much of when he was... Of before.

☁ But you poked the top of your head in the doorway, your eyes being the only part of you visible. He blinked at the action, making eye contact. Your head tilted at the action and his own mirrored it. It made you giggle as you disappeared back around the door.

☁ Despite it, Astro found himself smiling at the action. what an odd toon you were.

☁ He never heard your footsteps disappear however, stunning himself when you popped your eyes back in, gleaming with mischief. The rest of you stepped in right after, pressing a finger to your lips with a humorous little wink. "Wanna sneak into the kitchen and steal some cookies?"

☁ Needless to say, he found himself in the kitchen, sitting beside you with a cookie jar shaped like a suspicious, rainbow petal'd plant sat between you munching on cookies that looked a little too familiar for comfort.

☁ You filled the silence whenever something popped into your brain, talking about things you felt he should know for whatever reason. He now knew all about Rodger and Glisten and Teagan's tension, which he wouldn't have guessed, and all about Gigi's...problem with misplaced objects. He even knew about your own rumors that laid hushed in the walls, spoken like they were about someone else.

☁ "Yeah! People keep saying Cosmo and I are a thing but he's never asked so until then, that's a no."

☁ He hummed at the time, even if some part of him felt a bit relieved at the information.

☁ By the time he was cleared to go on runs, you were bouncing up and down by his side excitedly, trinkets clinking from where you had hooked them onto your waist, with Cosmo excitedly grinning behind you.

☁ He liked seeing you two like that.

☁ Now. Sprout. Mr. Seedly.

☁ He's last to join. Astro helps with this tremendously. When you're downed from a surprise Shrimpo attack, clutching your arm as Ichor pooled over, Cosmo is quick to try and jump in to help, only for a twisted clone of himself to turn and lock in onto him.

☁ As much as I love to proclaim "Distractor! Cosmo!" he's not actually a distractor. So, he has to run to lose the twisteds quickly before getting bit himself. This is where Astro comes in. Not only does he quickly re-energize both you and Cosmo, he is able to give you a momentary heal, letting you run off, air horn blazing, while hiding in the back to turn his attention to Cosmo.

☁ Whatever pieces you or Cosmo may lose, Astro picks up. Yet, not all of them seem to click into place just yet.

☁ When the elevator stills and you all hear the telltale steps, Astro is quick to grab your shoulders and spit all sorts of warnings. "Watch the tentacles. You'll know where they're going to appear. Don't try to test them. It's not worth it." "He's slow but don't take that for advantage. He will find a way to keep up." "Ignore every other twisted. We can handle them."

☁ Blinking, he watched you slowly nod before blinking and giving a much more firm acknowledgement. "Understood."

☁ When the elevators opened, Astro watched as you quickly got Sprout's attention, darting around a budding pile of ichor before sharply turning the other way. The reason why quickly became apparent when a twisted Teagan turned the corner, which Goob quickly took away.

☁ Nodding to himself, Astro found himself turning to face Cosmo, who looked terrified at the what just happened. Did he look that way when Astro was...That way with him? He hoped not.

☁ Frowning, he gripped his blanket tighter before letting out a breath, extending one of his hands through the opening towards Cosmo. The other looked at it with wide eyes before his eyes upturned to look at Astro's. "I'll stay with you the entire time."

☁ They had to follow you after all.

☁ They stayed a good distance away from where you and Goob were distracting (which was rather entertaining to watch actually), grabbing capsules wherever possible and tossing healing treats to you both as you passed.

☁ It was a rather seamless process actually up until the elevator timer began, sending the other toons of the squad running. Cosmo, who had been waiting for Astro to finish the last machine, seemed to halt before Astro was urging him forward, steeling himself to stay behind. "They'll run out of stamina before getting to the elevator. We'll be fine!"

☁ Albeit hesitantly, Cosmo did turn and run, finding safety next to Rodger while Astro stayed a ways away outside. Goob was quick to return, free of twisteds, but looking no less stressed. "They were far! Sprout cut off their exit!" Goob quickly explained, twiddling his fingers in front of him.

☁ Astro nodded before instructing him to stand in the elevator as well just in case.

☁ As the seconds ticked down, Astro was seconds away from stepping just far enough to remain out of Goob's range just in case when you came skidding around a corner. He could tell you were running on low as you kept looking back, narrowly avoiding Sprout's clawed grasp. Waiting until you were close enough, he let his power thrum along the ground, watching as you immediately perked up.

☁ Goob took this as a signal, or maybe you gave him one, as you quickly moved to push Astro forward, right into the awaiting arms as you continued towards the elevator. Just as the elevator began to close, you dove, making it just under the steel metal as it slammed shut behind you.

☁ You were panting as you laid on the ground, the entire elevator silent save for your heavy breaths and the sound of Dandy preparing for his arrival.

☁ Cosmo was quick to jump onto you, hurling threats of no more heals if you ever tried anything like that ever again. You took it with grace, gently resting a hand on his head as he cried into your shoulder. Your eyes angled back, catching his and extending your free hand. "You can't fool me. I know that scared you too."

☁ If Astro moved forward to take your hand, sitting close enough to you his knees brushed your shoulders.

☁ You had gotten what you needed though, evident with the glower Dandy shot at you, hidden behind a plastic smile.

☁ Getting Sprout back was harder than getting Astro back, admittedly. You had explained that when getting a main back, you kept most of the toons behind simply for everyone's sake. Distractors, Cosmo and fast extractors was where you drew the line.

☁ Which Astro understood. But didn't like. However, that being said, his power made him a valuable asset, which he used to argue his point. When you acquiesced, he nearly cheered, triumphantly trekking into the elevator with Cosmo by his side.

☁ To say this was like the previous runs, but on some sort of crack would be an understatement. It was fast. It was grueling. It was a thing of constant motion with machines constantly being done and the elevator a repeating pattern of opening and closing.

☁ There were no jokes like usual. There was no chatting. There was a new tension among the people in the elevator, simply waiting for the countdown before starting it all over again.

☁ Cosmo ensured he stuck beside Astro the entire time, remaining a rock the entire time while you were busy. They kept close enough they could rush to you should the need arise, and have a few times, but stayed within hands reach of each other.

☁ By the time they reached floor 24, with all of you tired and injured to some extent, the sound of his steps were both a welcome reprieve and a dreaded expectation.

☁ You were the one trusted with the serum, clutching it tightly as you glared at the elevator before you were turning to look at Cosmo and Astro over your shoulder. "Stay safe, please. Don't wait for me."

☁ It was a harrowing ask, but not one they could linger on as the elevator opened and you took off.

☁ But then the lights went out.

☁ And then they heard Sprout let out a shrill roar signaling he spotted you.

☁ Then they heard the snarling of Pebble signaling he too also spotted you.

☁ That was all they needed before the group of them dispersed, eager to complete the machines as quick as possible before you paid the price for their lack of action.

☁ One by one each ticked off before the elevator was reopening and they all rushed back to the elevator. Goob, Cosmo and Astro stood right up at the lip of the elevator, eyes darting for you. You appeared much quicker, both Pebble and Sprout on your heels as you did.

☁ You dropped a quick smoke bomb, loosing both of their attentions as you quickly rounded around a counter. Pebble let out a snarl as he ran off in the other direction. He didn't get far before hearing you move and it was like a movie.

☁ You moved, launching at Sprout with the Serum poised and ready while Pebble snarled, rushing to catch you. You managed to catch Sprout, digging the spout of the needle into his neck before being chucked off, making you scramble as you quickly darted back around the counter. Astro let his power thrum as Goob snapped his arms out, Cosmo catching you as you ran into the elevator while Goob's arms snapped back. The elevator snapped shut as Glisten moved to end the run and send the elevator back up, both you and Cosmo moving to where Goob cradled an ichor riddle body.

☁ You quickly let Cosmo do what he needed too, diverging to wrap your arms around Astro, who's eyes were locked onto Sprout.

☁ He spent the night with you and Cosmo, both of which he dragged out of your rooms to sleep in his that night.

☁ Sprout's recovery is quicker than Astro's, as he's a toon made for healing. He's up and bitching before any of you can stop him.

☁ Cosmo is his first stop, duh, they're canonically very close, with Astro a close second as he would know the other main. But you? Sprout's got no idea who you are.

☁ So he's a little stand-offish. He sees you interacting with Cosmo and sees you with Astro, and both seem to thoroughly enjoy your company, but he also saw you when he was a twisted.

☁ You were a dumbass if he had anything to say about it.

☁ You'd see someone way down a hallway and risk running into a wall to avoid them getting maybe even possibly spotted. He'd seen you eat enough chocolate bars to make him sake just to stay just in front of Pebble. He'd seen you slip on a stray jumper cable only to get right back up and do the same thing when you rounded around.

☁ He wasn't sure he wanted that rubbing off on him.

☁ But you stuck around. When Cosmo wanted to bake, you were the first to get a bit of the final product. When Astro wanted a nap, you were right there with a blanket, acting as a pillow while you napped with him.

☁ Even on runs, you were quick to come to his aid, taking back the twisteds once he'd gotten his aggro-tapes. All with a stupid smile.

☁ He kind of hated that smile.

☁ Man this is getting LONGGG

☁ Anyway, how would you and Sprout bond? Uh, the common denominators silly!

☁ You were injured on a previous run, bad enough to warrant bed rest decrees from both Cosmo AND Astro. Lucky you!

☁ Sprout had only been cleared for basic runs and this was another possible retrieval run, which you heavily protested against with not only you injured but your second healer still on probation.

☁ Still, they went on with it. You and Sprout were left in the infirmary, awkward silence settling between you. Neither of you knew what to say from there. Your buffers were gone.

☁ With a huff, you sat up, running a hand down your face before turning to face Sprout. Who was watching you.

☁ He watched you like a hawk, watching as you swung your feet off the bed and slowly stood like a shaky new born fawn. "Cosmo's not gonna like that."

☁ You snorted at him, falling back onto the bed only to try again. Sprout's eyes narrowed as he scoffed. "Astro's not gonna like it either."

☁ You snorted again, finally finding your standing before turning to look at him, narrowing your eyes at him. "Are you coming with me to get cookies or not?"

☁ ...well, he can't say he didn't warn you. He did follow you to go get treats, acting as a crutch along the way simply for the reason he didn't want to wait for you to hobble along.

☁ That was the only reason.

☁ By the time you both got to the kitchen, munching on treats, you had picked up a fun back and forth with each other, trading quips as you dug into the cookie jar once more. You pulled out the last cookie, offering it to him.

☁ He looked at it before shaking his head, only for you to roll your eyes and split it in two. He took it with a grumble, scoffing. "I made them I can make more."

☁ "Gonna make them with Astro's face again?" You shot back with a grin, nibbling onto your own half.

☁ He gave an affronted gasp before the ding of the elevator was making you both look over, Sprout giving you a hand to welcome back the group. They hadn't been gone very long, so it either went very well or not well at all.

☁ It turned out be neither. The run had been called as they were unable to fall into a rhythm and Scraps and Brightney had gotten into quite the altercation.

☁ Both you and Sprout find yourselves looked for Cosmo and Astro, only to find them chatting near the entrance, completely fine. There's a moment between you and hi m, where you both side eye each other before you're reaching out and shoving him. Without trinkets you two are practically the same speed, only he has you outmatched with stamina.

☁ Which was his only hope as he stumbled, not expecting the dirty play, watching you take off towards them. He quickly caught up trying to shove you only for you to dodge him with a laugh.

☁ He knew he should've distracted more. He had gotten complacent with Pebble and was now paying the price for it. He should've known you were a dirty filthy cheater. He should've guessed.

☁ In a last ditch effort he launched himself at you, making you squawk as you both rolled forward, giving both Cosmo and Astro little time before the two of you collided into them sending the four of you into a heap of undignified limbs and cackles.

☁ I spent that entire time just developing that omfg and its already long. sobbing.

☁ Anyway how y'all get together is gonna be TBD bc my head is hurty and my tummy is empty. ~<3

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intimidating-fettuccine · 1 day ago

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Hello! I hope you’re doing well :)

Could I have cuddling HCs with candy, night terrors and LJ? Ty in advance!

I love writing fluff like this, I hope you enjoy <3 Me casually making new LJ lore while writing this :p

Terrors:

It's rough in the beginning, I'm gonna be honest. You are this man's first for everything because when he was living on his own, his own person, his own ruler, he did not care about relationships at all, so he doesn't really understand anything except the barebones basics. The first time you ask him if it'll be okay to cuddle, he tries to think back on how Candy cuddles you (which he can barely remember because he feels embarrassed just watching you guys from inside Candy's mind), and he says that if that's what you wish, you may cuddle him. You've come very far in your relationship with Candy and Terrors at this point, so you naively assume this should go easily, but your assumptions are soon proven wrong. Terrors lays down first, on his back stiff as a board, and waits for you to join him, and you do, curling into his side, but he never moves. He stays that way for a while, to your amusement, and it takes many, many snuggle sessions for him to loosen up. Once he does, gradually wrapping an arm around you, and then two, and then holding you close to him, cuddles with Terrors become much clingier. They're firm but incredibly warm and protective. He prefers to keep you flush and tight against his chest, his arms trapping you there securely, only letting you go when you ask. He always feels he still might be doing something wrong, so he's still a little tense, but he can't deny that feeling your warmth so softly against him is a treasure he wished he'd been indulging in with you for far longer, and these days he's more than willing to cuddle you if you ever ask for it. He gets to the point that he wants to ask you himself, but he's too shy, so he tends to hover around you in a way you come to learn means he wants to snuggle you immediately.

Candy:

Candy's cuddles are nothing to sneeze at. This man is clingy in the best ways, incredibly warm, and all-encompassing as a lover, so of course he gives some of the best cuddles you'll ever indulge in, and he's pretty much always in the mood to cuddle up to you, so you're never starved for his touch. While he's quite brazen and forceful as a person, he's nearly the opposite when you first start cuddling with him at the start of your relationship until he learns what you like. He's all soft smiles and gentle words, wanting to go at your pace to not overwhelm you with his large body and stronger touches. He lets you worm your way into his arms however you'd like to, and once you do the same thing enough times, he learns what you enjoy, and always settles into the right position, readily scooping you into his arms and nuzzling into you to his heart's content. I think Candy prefers to pretty much absorb you into his body with his preferred cuddles. He likes you snug against his chest, his arms around you, your legs intertwined, his torso covering yours as he leans over you so he can cover you with his body. It makes him happy to be able to cover you and hold you so closely, so confined in his body that you've got no choice but to be completely smooshed against him. The type of partner to say they want you inside of their body when you're cuddling so you can just become one being. He tends to surprise you with snuggles when you've been together longer, as he definitely recharges from your touch and just wants to have contact with you all the time, and he's so warm and soft that you can't help but want to constantly be snuggling him yourself, so you tend to never refuse him. Candy is always happiest when he has you wrapped up in his arms.

LJ:

Another resident snuggle bug like Candy, Jack is always down for snuggles, and he's not shy about asking for them either. He's the type to just lift you up and take you away from whatever you were previously doing so he can just carry you off to bed and cuddle you whenever he gets particularly lonely. The only thing that might seem like a drawback about Jack I would say is that due to his mechanical nature, he doesn't have body warmth, so he tends to start off cold in your cuddles. During the summer it's awesome because he can cool you off from the heat outside, but not as pleasant at times like right now, during the colder winter months. However, as the executive owner of this blog and canon, I've come up with a situation; I think since he was originally made for children, that he probably has an internal heater (like a heated blanket situation) to warm up and be more pleasant to be in contact with. Meaning, that Jack can heat up his body to whatever temperature you want, which I suppose actually gives him a lead over others if he has time to heat up! So, when it's really cold, he starts heating himself up in advance, so when you get home he's already warm and ready to go, ridding you of any biting cold you had outside. His preferred cuddles I often write him with are you laying on top of him, his arms wrapped snug around you, your face snuggling into his neck. He likes feeling the weight of your body on top of him, as it makes him feel content and loved, knowing he's got you right here, safe and sound in his arms. I haven't mentioned it in a while, but Jack is able to make a calming purring sound when he's happy, and you can bet your butt he's constantly making that noise when you cuddle, calming both of you down and relaxing you.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta headcanon #candy pop #candy pop headcanons #candy pop headcanon #candy pop x reader #laughing jack #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack headcanon #laughing jack headcanons

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verlaineszz · 2 days ago

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ᯓ★ CEMETERY LADY! MY CEMETERY GIRL! ~

( ၴႅၴ+ —YANDERE!NIKOLAI GOGOL! x YANDERE!ZOMBIE!FEM!READER!

SUMMARY: Your name.. Written in beautiful dark crimson red ink, a psychopathic clown has taken a liking to a lady. A lady that he found so utterly beautiful, a beauty of imperfections that nikolai found oh so perfect. But a tragedy has struck him, before he could continue his obsessive motivs and plans, bang! You were dead, but that didn't stop you from laying on your casket. you had unfinished buisness, which is your undying love and obsession that made you crawl out of limbo and find your beloved once again.

ᯓ ⁺₊ ♱ .ᐟ— DEAD DOVE+ ROMANCE + YANDEREAU! + SUGGESTIVE! + SMUT! (seperate maybe, i might make it but it will be linked in between the scene when its starts, you may find it at @heartz4verlaineszz, my freak acc)

MDNI!!

A/N: mutual yandere btw! Nikolai was already obsessively inlove with reader when reader was still alive and this works to reader too, reader has always been obsessively inlove with him too, also possessive reader and nikolai :P and this fic is shorter than my other fics

(art by CREATNZY)

๋࣭ ⭑♡WARNINGS! : suggestive, blood, yandere themes, swearing, obsessive themes, collecting of each others belongings, initial skin ingraving, pet names (Moya Lyubov (my love), Moya pitchka(my little bird), milaya (sweetheart))

Ah, love. Something foreign to nikolai, not until he laid his eyes on you. What a beautiful lady! Your imperfections had him infatuated with you, to your personality and to your hyperfixations, how cute.

Everything was going so well for nikolai, he stalked all your posts. Checked up on your phone history by hacking into it when you had your screen protector replaced for being too clumsy and dropping it.. He also went as far on stealing your clothing and buying the same perfume that you wear.. It was eating his heart away, the thought of feeling you near him made him just wanna squeel and giggle uncontrollably. Not until he heard you got into an accident and died.. He misses you so baddddddd!

Your funeral was being held soon, he sighs and lays on his bed with his hand on his forehead, not really having motivation to do anything. What shall he do now? He doesn't have a purpose anymore really.. To be frank, his life objective was to be with you. With you gone.. He thought that if you're gone now, might as well meet you in the afterlife as well.. But, not yet. He has to feel you at least once, even if you're already dead. He sits up with his back slouched, lookin around his room, fully decorated with candid pictures of you and a big shelf with your belongings, to your used plastic water bottles, lock of hair displayed in a gold picture frame with red wallpaper, your bras, shirts, makeup, jewelry.. Anything that you've touched really.. He smirks after seeing your stuff, he stands up and grabs your shirt and bra before stuffing his face in em, laying back down on his bed and sniffing your faint scent, "mmm", he mewled out before sighing and sliding your shirt and bra off his face.. His expression bored and numb, he missed you so much, he would be lying if he said he wasn't devastated. He hasn't eaten all day since normally he'd be stalking you at this hour.

He eventually sits up after hours of whining and smothering your used shirt and bras with his face. He thought at first that now your dead, he'd finally be free.. Oh but he was so wrong! The thought of not watching you and never being yours pained him. More than the thought of him never being free. It made him wanna dig his nails into his skin and scratch the meat off his bones off!

The grandfather clock on the wall ticking made him feel more restless, he slides his shoes on before leaving his place. The walk to the place where your casket is was no biggie, he kept his expression was bored and a void as he walked, different than his usual excited and smiley expression. As he reached your funeral, he stays behind the trees for a while, alot of your family members and friends were still crying and wheeping as they surrounded your casket, your burial was just a few days away, he still has time to make you his cemetery baby.

A few hours later, nightfall came, your family members and friends have finally came home! Leaving your body and him outside. He smirks as he stood up from his hiding spot and walked over to your gorgeous fuckin body that was laying peaceful in the casket. He lets out a few giggles, his eyes filled with excitement, his fingers twitched to touch you, he sees your pretty face taking it into his hands and caressing your cheek before leaning your head back, noticing how they didn't even try to put on the correct makeup style you liked. He quickly applied some lippie that he stole from you a few weeks ago, changing your lipstick before quickly kissing you hard. Chuckling into the kiss softly before setting your head down gently, your body was a little rusty so he had to be extra careful with his beloved.

"Ah.. There you go, you look more you now.. How stupid of those people to not know what your lip color preferences are." he talks to himself while staring down at your face,mocking the way your own family didn't even put on the correct lippie on, slowly lacing his hand to hold yours. Your hand cold as ever, he smiles to himself, kissing your knuckles.. Noticing how cold your hand was compared to his warm large ones. "hm.. Its okay, I'll warm you up!" he whispers and giggles, his eyes half lidded but filled with hunger.

He kisses your knuckles slowly before sliding in a ring to your ring finger. A beautiful red ruby gem, a red that was red to be the same shade of your own blood. He smiles sweetly at your calm face, the smile radiating a sense of insanity and obsession to it while he caresses your hair and cheek sweetly, "Moya ptichka.." he whispers sweetly as he gives your hand another kiss with his eyes staring at your eye shut face, "This isn't goodbye, I'll see you once again, milaya."

⁺‧₊˚ஓ༻𓆩♡𓆪༺ஓ˚₊‧⁺

At your perspective, your soul was still stuck at limbo, unaware that nikolai was already giving you what you craved for. Limbo was tough. Fog and mindless spirits everywhere, it made you irritated at how lost you were, but of course nothing was ever gonna stop you from digging out of your grave and watch him again.

Now.. Back to nikolai. It was already the next day, he only came to visit your body at night. Where nobody was around. It was the last day of your body staying on land before you get buried 6 feet below. He brought a few things with him, a dagger, a locket filled with his and your hair and some other questionable trinkets.

The foggy and dark night could be frightening for some, especially at the cemetery. But not for him, he brought a lantern to see your face just in case! As he ran over to your casket with an undying hungry smile, he jumps in joy in seeing you up close again. "Moya Lyubov!" he takes your hand gently, it was his last day on meeting your body physically. He snaked his hands to your hand, kissing your knuckles once again before tying a red ribbon around your wrist to mark you.

His gaze was pressuring against your unconscious body, the fog and darkness surrounding you and him was unbearable, the only light source around was his lantern that he brought that illuminated his hungry gaze and your gorgeous face.

A tune in his head played, an urge to hold you close and waltz in eloquence to prove how much he adored you. Though your skin was rotting piece by piece, your cheek stayed fresh as ever, he caressed your cheek in obsession, "still forever soft for me."

The fog and darkness really gave nikolai an advantage of not being seen, one of his hands slowly snaked down to your thigh, pushing your dress up and squeezing it with hunger, "The world has been so cruel to you, milaya." he whispered, talking to himself while you struggled in limbo to leave and see him even while you were dead. "But.. Even in death, you belong to me." he smirks, a smirk that could've haunted lots of individuals but it was also a smirk that was meant for you. For you to remember and burn into memory.

A few hours has already passed, with him just sitting on the edge of your casket and holding you gently while talking to himself all obsessed like he was talking to you. "Even if death make us part, you'll forever still be mine."

He caressed your cheek, holding you gently to avoid hurting your dead body, "Remember when you first started wearing that lipgloss and that perfume? Oh you are a gorgeous little thing. I couldn't stop staring! You were perfect just like how perfect you are right now." he talks to himself again, giggling and remembering how you smiled when you found something funny, another reason why he wanted to have you as his dear lady. Your looks just add to your eccentric and unique dear personality you know?

With the last few hours of the night fell down so the sun could rise, he held your thigh tightly, "Moya Lyubov, im sure you wouldn't mind having a symbol of me with you forever right?" he giggled, slipping a dagger in his hand, "This might hurt.. Apologies in advance." he whispers near your ear before slowly but surely engraving his initials on your upper thigh, gently wiping the blood of, whispering apologies and cooing, obviously you felt nothing since your soul was still at limbo. "Mm..you're so pretty. I'm sorry it hurts milaya." he coos at you, caressing your cheek and giving your thigh a quick kiss before covering you up again with your dress.

he quickly leaves the dagger under the pillow that was cushioned below your head, a symbol of him giving his dagger to you. he slowly slid the locket with his hair and your hair around your neck. As the daylight rose up, he kisses your forehead before slipping off after hearing your family members talking and their heavy footsteps.

He slips off to the nearby forest, waiting for your burial. Time passed as he got in disguised to look more like your..friends. Your casket was about to be buried. affirmations filled his head,

"I love you, I love you,I love you,I love you,I love you,I love you, I love you,I love you,I love you,I love you,I love you, I love you,I love you,I love you,I love you,"

he repeats in his head like a mantra, he takes a step near your casket, dressed in black suit,white jabot with a red ruby brooch and his hair all inside in his black top hat to conceal his long braided hair. Everyone stared at him, assuming he was one of your close friends since he held a dark red rose. Your casket slowly lowered down into the 6 feet deep hole, he throws the rose to your closed casket, "Death will not end us or stop me. We will be reunited milaya,"

At your point of view now, you successfully escaped limbo. The limbo that had a blueish tint, fog, mindless spirits that has been driven into insanity from how long they have stayed in limbo, and the murky floors that made you feel all icky at the sensation of sludge. In an attempt to leave this foggy void your will and unfinished business on earth gave you the strength to escape and return back from the dead.

⁺‧₊˚ஓ༻𓆩♡𓆪༺ஓ˚₊‧⁺

A few days has passed, a rotting feeling ate nikolai alive, oh god he needed to see you. His heart was beating so fast, only thinking about you whenever he gazed at the grass or that photo of you sleeping in your room. A photo that he adored so dearly. He thought he'd go off fine and be free but this thought of having your body with him eternally wouldn't seem like such a bad idea..that's why he packed a shovel. 2:55 AM, he snuck off, running to the cemetery on where you were buried. He slowly stood on top of your grave, extending his arm to get something from his cloak. He tapped his foot as he grabbed around before grabbing out the shovel and a lantern. He sets the lantern down and began to dig rapidly.

Pants and huffs and the sound of soil thudding could be heard, he digged and digged before hitting a "clink!", your casket, the sound of his metal shovel and your casket clanging, he smirks, sweat beading off his forehead, he sighs and let's the shovel go, letting his ability to push you into the land above. "We'll be together again Moya pitchka!" he laughs, Panting with a love dazed expression.

He sticked his tongue out in concentration as he pushed your casket into the portal, as he successfully got you on land, he wasted no time to open your casket, only to find that your body was gone.

Nikolais eyes widened, what happened to his lady!? Even the dagger he hid under your pillow was gone! He places his hand under his chin, thinking on who could've kidnapped your body. Nobody was around your grave for the past few days, who could've done it?

⁺‧₊˚ஓ༻ 𓆩♡𓆪༺ஓ˚₊‧⁺

Back at nikolais house, you were running into the woods, his dagger in your hand and your dress dirty from the soil that you climb out of, a few stumbles and runs you reached his place. With a quick climb of a window and expecting to see him, you found the house to be empty. You scratch your head and sigh in dissapointment, quickly moving back to ur apartment to change and quickly sneak back in to his room, so far so good. Nothing has changed. It was weird how you have never seen him sleep on his own bed. You look around, looking at his weird trinkets before reaching his closet, opening it and collecting some of his clothing before tripping on one of the gloves that fell to the floor, "oh-!" you land with your face against the wall of the closet before hearing the sound it made. It sounded like..it was hollow inside. You quickly stand up and dusted yourself, with a knock to test it to its fullest, you find a socket. You put your fingers in the rectangular socket, pushing it to the side to reveal a staircase, you smile proudly after seeing this, has your dear nikolai have been hiding a secret room? Perhaps it was a room full of more of his stuff. You waltz down the stairs, singing a soft tune, your voice having a hint of curiosity as you mutter to yourself, "Now now, i wonder what this room could b-! Oh."

You expected the room to be filled with more of his stuff, either it be more of his hats, clown makeup, guns, and other trinkets you can "borrow", you find yourself staring at the things that You own. The walls a dark crimson red and rosewood floors, and tons of big wooden shelves against the walls, all containing each of your missing things. Your lacy bras, Your used lipsticks , your panties, shirts, gloves you worn, used pillow cases, your pens, the old phone you had. You get the point. The walls were adorned of hundreds of candid photographs of you, one of the bigger picture was in gold frame. a picture of you sleeping and Nikolai in the corner as if he took a selfie and printed the picture out to have it all framed and pretty..Then you realized,the bedroom that you've been stalking and watching was just a decoy.. A decoy to hide his undying obsession of you.

you looked around the shelves and seeing the tons of bottles of your favorite perfume distracted from the feeling of your beloved nikolai having an infatuation of you,large hands began to wrap around your waist "Oh.. There you are milaya." he whispers into your ear,pressing your back against his chest,a haunting sweet smile spread across his lips as he leaned closer to you snaking his free hand to grab your hand "You're not supposed to be here you know?.." he pouted sarcastically before laughing "Moya pitchka don't run away from me..You can see how much I adore you." he whispered, his voice cooing and desperate while he was caressing his hand to your waist then down to your hips..your breath hitches as you feel his touch. Your gaze brightens up, letting him touch you freely, "Oh.. Hello my dear kolya." you gently taking his hand.

he grabbed your hand back swiftly,he quickly spins you around,your back hitting the wall and his knee in between your thighs..He had a hand on your hips tightly.. tight enough to leave a bruise on your skin You gasp at the impact huffing from the tension you've been caught. But you just can't help but enjoy this moment.. he had a hand on your hip and his other hand on your thigh,gripping it tightly and huffing, "I missed you so damn fucking much.." he kissed your neck, huffing and holding you tightly as if you would dissappear if he loosened his grip. "You wouldn't understand how much i love you, it hurts milaya." he whispers into your ear in between his soft neck and collarbones kisses, his kisses always changing into soft and gentle to rough and desperate.

You look down, not resisting but rather wrapping your arms around his neck, the dagger he left you in one of your hands, the blade was near his pulse, close enough to end his life before you sweetly say, "But i do understand. I missed you too." with those 4 words falling from your lips,his eyes widened. You weren't frightened or screaming like he thought you would, his wide eyes changed into a smile, a cheeky hungry smile. Perhaps this was a new reason on why he adores you damn fucking much.

He quickly pressed his lips against yours roughly, gripping onto your thigh and waist tightly, "Oh, baby, You dont know much i need you." he says in between kisses, slowly sliding his large hand around your inner thigh, lifting your thigh up, his other hand on your waist to support you standing. His voice turned into breathey, his voice evident with need and desperation, his grip on your thigh tightening, as if you were gonna disappear again if he loosend his grip, "Please.. Please, milaya, let me show you how much i adore you." he panted out in between kisses desperately, you huff and you gripped on to his shoulders, the dagger near his neck falling onto the ground, clinging and thudding from the fall. He leaned closee to your ear, whispering sweetly, his voice sweet as honeydew but breathey and desperate too. "See? I told you death wouldn't keep us apart.. Now.. Let me show you what dreams are made of."

A/N: lol idk if i should write the smut part, just comment if you want it, also.. When i was first and originally writing this I ACCIDENTALLY DIDN'T SAVE THE DRAFT SO I HAD TO REWRITE IT ALL AGAIN.. ACCORDING TO MY MEMORY.. GRRRRR.... but anyway, enjoy!

#Spotify #insane clown posse #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs fanfiction #horror #nikolai gogol #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai gogol bungou stray dogs #Yandere nikolai #yandere #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #dead dove do not eat #Dead dove bungo stray dogs #Zombie reader #zombie #music fic #bungo stray dogs

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heaven4lostgirls · 10 hours ago

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‧₊˚✧ . ˚ black brothers healing‧₊˚✧ . ˚

post sirius + regulus run away, established wolfstar + jegulus

‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ . ˚ ‧₊˚✧ .

regulus having to relearn sirius’ touch because he’s no longer that person that regulus feels safe with.

regulus flinching at every sudden movement that sirius does because he’s not used to being out of their house just yet.

sirius who has to teach himself restraint, who wants his brother back but doesn’t know what to do to get there.

sirius having this frustration building inside of him everytime regulus turns to evan and barty for comfort when something goes wrong.

sirius feeling anger towards james for the first time since ever because james becomes regulus’ go to person while sirius sits on the outskirts.

regulus who tiptoes around sirius and his relationship because he’s scared of fucking it up again and sirius leaving him again.

sirius crying to remus about feeling insecure about not being the only person who truly knows regulus to his core.

remus telling sirius that he’s rebuilding his relationship with regulus, it won’t be the same but it will be better without the ghost of their parents haunting them.

sirius and regulus who have full blown arguments but as soon as one of them gets up to leave, the other is scrambling and clinging to them like they’re worried they’re never going to come back.

sirius and regulus who hug for the first time after sirius cries after a trivia night where he gets regulus’ favorite colour wrong

sirius who tells regulus “i’ve never been worried about failing at anything in my life, but feeling like i don’t know you anymore makes me want to die”

regulus who clings to his brother like he did when he was a toddler, sniffling and holding him close because “you’re always going to know me sirius, you’re the person i tried to teach myself to be”

sirius who’s too emotional for regulus and regulus who’s too quick to anger for sirius.

the black brothers that are jagged edges of glass that don’t quite fit with each other for the most part but would rather die than hurt or leave each other again

#juliwrites #marauders #sirius black #regulus black #starchaser #jegulus #wolfstar #remus lupin #james potter #black brothers #black brothers angst #black brothers hurt/comfort #black brothers comfort #black brothers microfic #sirius and regulus black #sirius and regulus #regulus and sirius

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ruruvxz · 10 hours ago

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#05 — Just stop. (Semi-written)

The Woman Who Left Too Soon: Lara Raj, the lead singer and coveted music producer for Katseye, has never felt the need for useless romance. Don't get her wrong — she loves a good chummy romance, but it was never really for her. That could partly be blamed on her past lover, who abruptly left her just to become some indie artist, but then again, the tides change, and so do the people. And what the — she's famous now, she's unstoppable, she can pull anyone, so why the hell is the woman who left her in the dust, pretending to be all buddy-buddy with her.

#masterlist, ‹previous, next>

Lara had always been someone in tune with her own emotions, even when she had conflicting ideals, she managed to keep her composure regardless. This small detail about herself is something many adored about her, the ability to be so mentally sound also regarded her as a reasonable person.

So why now, of all days, was she acting so differently?

The poor desi-girl who usually disregarded phony tabloid tweets, suddenly had such a strong visceral reaction as she scanned the post Daniela had sent. Disgust wasn't even a good enough word to describe how she felt, she found this whole ordeal incredibly amusing, yet despicable how anyone could jump to such a conclusion.

To put it lightly she was not happy, not at the situation, nor the fact Daniela found this, oh so, humorous. And Lara made it very clear whenever she had set boundaries, that they should never be crossed.

Lara found her blood boiling by the second, why can't Daniela just drop this whole ordeal? Why did she have to push her so much, of course, the same argument could be made on Daniela's side, as she found Lara's reactions, just so... unprovoked. I mean, in Daniela's eyes, it's not like Lara ever cared about you, or your music before hand, so why was she so defensive?

The red-head desperately wanted to brush this whole situation under the rug, making it seem like all some coy joke. But no matter how much she joked, her facade was slowly slipping, and as observant as Lara was, her members where also as observant as her.

It also didn't make the situation any better by the fact that Megan, the girl Lara appointed to be the only one to bare the secret, that both you and Lara had extensive history together, was out here airing her out. Megan had only been so lucky though, if she happened to be in the same room as Lara, her phone would've been projectile thrown out the window.

"Fuck Megan, can you shut up." Lara whispered under her breath as her phone blew up with messages. Her irritation growing to a new high as Daniela, truly, had no intention of stopping. Daniela was never the type to stop half-way-through, and Lara knew that better than anyone, and also the fact that Daniela knew how to get under anyone's skin for her own benefit. But that didn't scare away Lara one bit, she wasn't going to out herself because of this, and you know what they say, two big personalities cause too big of a problem.

(And yes, Lara and Megan both knew that this matter had no concern, it's not like the others cared much about each other's love lives that much. But Lara had a fiery attitude when it came to love, since she had so much passion when it comes to her relationships, that the stories she told the girls about you, where mostly exaggerated. So to say that the girl's didn't like you, well didn't like the idea of you, was an understatement, they despised your guts because of all the stories Lara told them. Thank god she never mentioned you by name though.)

Seeing Daniela's response after being scolded by Sophia altered something in Lara's brain, she was about to go off once more, but she decided not to. Going offline for a few hours left her contemplating about what she had said. "Did I go to far?" Lara mumbled under her breath as she stared at the screen of her monitor, mindlessly creating housebeats to take her mind off of things.

Lara felt terrible for everything she said, in some way, she definitely blew this out of proportion, but a girl can only get so defensive. Daniela wasn't completely at fault of course, but she had a reason to be curious, so Lara gave her that.

After a few more moments, her overthinking began to overcome her, she could barely focus on what she was doing, her fingers rested on the knobs of her DJ mixer rotating and fiddling with before her thoughts became too much to bare. She closed her computer and flopped onto her bed, her red hair resting on the pillow as she stared at the blank screen of her phone. Finally after what felt like hours she opened her messages and scrolled all the way to Daniela's contact.

Staring at the past messages, she swallowed hard and began texting.

taglist: @lara4eclipze, @yunjinncentral, @meretmanondefender, @1luvkarina, @kristalag, @artrizzler19, @xochitlisbest, @yuenamoon, @meizinisnumberone, @meganskiendielsbtc, @c-yerim, @vrtualstar, @yeetaberry127 (TAGLIST OPEN)

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kyouka-supremacy · 2 months ago

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Well.

#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter #First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out #(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in #The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic #“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him #That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin #That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment #(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it #But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles #Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers

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tortademaracuya · 3 months ago

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#im so tired of everything of living no matter what i do its always the wrong thing #i make everyone so uncomfortable and unsafe and i dont know how to stop it #everyday i stop myself from listing who i want to gift my hideous belongings #because im tired #others will find more use. more joy of them #meanwhile they are only getting dirtied by me #i must have been terrible in a past life. to be such a hideous person now #i just want to improve and change but its like everything just makes me fall deeper into this hole #i have depression but i cannot show symptoms. im the idiot trying to stop myself because i dont want others to feel bad #but its the others that make me feel like this #sorrows should not be shown. happiness cannot be shared. i have to be the perfect unemotional puppet to be loved #but my body and mind keep decaying and making it so much harder everyday #i fear soon i will be too weak to keep trying. and that the last thing i will hear will be total silence (from being ignored)#or a constant onslaught of guiltripping for letting myself get to such a state #i await the decaying with resignation because i have nothing else #haunted.txt

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eclarinet · 6 months ago

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same soup... different day

#hello it is sarah in the tags again #i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again #venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone #anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin #back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye #anyway this time i'd come in for the big D #i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong #i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety #its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc #anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the #isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers #isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and #i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic #anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing #i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche #also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like #ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it #and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this

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seventh-district · 10 months ago

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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

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princesspastarave · 11 months ago

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all i’m looking for (from you.)

if i have learned anything it’s that you do not need to put yourself in danger for “character development.” your life does not need to be ruined for you to grow and bleed. you can surround yourself with positive stability and still learn and feel deeper than you ever could in the familiarity of the chaos and that’s all i want you to do with me.

i am not here to hurt you but i also have bills to pay and am really fucking scared of the lengths i’ve had to go through to convince others of the safe space i can hold for them before so i do not have time to keep proving this to you. do NOT put me through your hell in attempts to get me to break myself or you “for your plot” I’M TIRED !!!!!!!

it’s easy for me to show you the past versions of myself because i want to get to know and care for as many versions of you as i can. i share my day so you’ll do the same. but it’s really hard for me to do that when you don’t give me much to work on. however i learned the lesson of if they want to go let them go YEARS ago so i promise if you can’t share any authentic space with me someone else will i don’t want you to worry about me.

if you say you need space i will do my best to give you that. i really like you which means i want you to get everything you’ve ever wanted but i’ve been in therapy since i was 15 years old and i work really hard physically/financially/mentally every day to pick up the mess i was trapped in for years.

if you want a crazy girl to hurt you or chase after you or a forever thing or some casual body i’m gonna say go get it !! they’re out there and i promise you you’ll find whatever you need

i’m rooting for you because before you are who i think you are you are or who i think you could be you’re who i know you are which is my friend and as your friend i’m here to support you at whatever stage you’re in :>

i don’t think anyone is ever asking too much i think they always ask the wrong people

an alcoholic of many years asking a fresh 20 year old who just had her first glass of wine to essentially be a sponsor / lifeline.

a no feelings idgaf type asking a raised-catholic only child diagnosed with giving af disorder to be a casual one of the girlies.

a bare minimum bummer asking a post on a platform watch us grow and make silly fancams / date vlogs for us to be hidden away on their rebound like a shameful little secret.

a jaded soul on their last love ready to settle down asking to build a forever life with a girl who moves wherever she finds love.

whoever you are wherever you go i’m always gonna think you are deserving of everything you ask for. but i’m not who you think you are or what i know i look like so if i don’t live up to your ideal i’m gonna let you go.

right now i’m in a place where i can always be a friend and a silly girl in your phone. i would love to “complete my rep era” as it were but being perceived in real life and as a physical present human being takes a lot out of me and i don’t know how to make it not but i really like you so i’m figuring it out i promise !

i like you so bad but i’m really scared and you can put two and two together don’t make me say why i have issues about my body being perceived and people raising their voice at me and being seen in real life out loud ok you are a big boy you are very smart and intuitive and have pisces placements like me you should know :(

please don’t take my silences or shaking or outbursts too personally i promise it’s not your fault and i’m always doing everything i can to stop it !!!!!

i want to let myself be okay. and i want you to feel with me at the end of the day. it can be anything. whether it’s anger or hurt or hope or love or loneliness, through the screen or in real life. it can be yours or mine or the story we make together. as safely as it is for both of us. if you let me i want to be right there for you and heal and feel and sit with whatever you think you’re going through alone. because i’m not allowed to ask for more. i learned the hard way if they want to go let them go. so if you want to go i’ll let you go. and should our time ever come to a halt i want us both to be safe and happy and healthy all the way through.

and that’s all i’m ever looking for from you.

#🥭#ppl find it hard to believe i haven’t been asked this whole time #i have but it’s always been too soon or by the wrong person or in the wrong way #the problem isn’t finding a relo it’s finding the right kind #i will indirect and yap and cast all the little love spells but i will not initiate or ask anything first #you can though #you’re so sweet and salty i’m not gonna say no lol #🩸#🍺#🫚#🗡️#🩸🍺🫚🗡️ inspo but this is mostly for 🥭#everyone else go away >:(

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proximacentaurib · 2 months ago

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I’ve noticed that people are very bad at seeing gray. Very, very bad. They’ll see gray and they’ll call it something else, anything but what it is

#🔭.txt #milliliters of peaceful sleep #this is a post about my eye color. this is also a post about me. and about others. and about the world #black and white thinking runs deep and i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t guilty of it too #but like. gray exists. grey exists. it’s a lovely color. it’s not dull or boring but also sometimes it is. nothing wrong with that #nothing is ever only good or only bad. if you’re not doing well that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing badly #i’ve been gray for a very long time and people don’t believe me when i say that’s what i am #people would rather i be something stark and high-contrast. something dramatic. something easily spotted and easily classified #if you’re not burning brightly they assume you’re slowly consumed by darkness #if you’re not at rock bottom they’ll either dismiss you entirely or confidently tell you why you are at the bottom #they might even force you to sink just so that they could have the honor of pulling you out #but it’s not so simple. actually it is so simple. but it’s the wrong kind of simple #i’ve been gray for a very long time. i can’t remember ever being anything else. i might lighten or darken but not by much #there’s not a roaring fire lighting me from within but that doesn’t mean i’m not burning at all #inside me is a small flame that will never go out #dim and obscured by smoke #if it starts to falter i put my hands around it and shield it from the wind #if it grows i step back to not be singed but the wind eventually restores balance #i don’t have episodes and the seasons never change. i’ve been gray for a very long time and i’ll be gray forever and that’s just how it is #i’ve accepted it. you should accept it too #also stop saying my eyes are green. they’re not #do people even know what green eyes are? do i? honestly no #but mine are clearly gray. i don’t know what else you could be seeing #you guys are really bad at colors. go back to elementary school #people on this website are also always like ‘omg i love complex morally gray characters’#and then as soon as they see a complex and/or morally gray character they freak out and try shoving them in a box #it’s ridiculous. stop that. the writer did not put all this effort into characterization for you to throw it away like that #and just in general people are bad at understanding that other people are people too despite their good/bad actions #dehumanization is yet another stepping stone for you to feel like the only person in the world. like the main character of your own life #also people don’t know what persistent depressive disorder is and it’s frustrating. no one gets it. i feel stupid for complaining

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phagodyke · 7 months ago

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see I get its abt repression and letting that bury u alive but theres still time it doesnt have to be like this etc !! and it does that powerfully. but I've just. never been repressed or closeted in that specific kind of sense. dysphoria has never manifested like that for me... I kind of feel like social pressures esp gender related ones didn't exert the same force on me growing up that they did on a lot of ppl I know (and still don't now) bc I never fully understood them or was excluded for various reasons. but man. fucking rough for ppl who did/do still feel that way 💔

#just sitting trying to unpick how i feel abt the film cuz my alarm is out of battery so i gotta charge it before i sleep....#like i didnt have an easy time as a kid or teen and yeah i was still very much affected by social constructs n attitudes around me #but it was difficult in different ways.... i dont knowww. i do have my own repression but not in a way ive ever seen represented #or that other ppl seem to understand unless they have a similar set of experiences to me #just too autistic to get it LOL #ive always been myself even before i had the language to understand what that meant. n the resistance to my self expression hasnt ever #trumped my ability to express myself #i think this kind of relates to how like. ive never had the need to 'come out' like its never been important to me personally #and i can understand why it is for some ppl. but as soon as i found out what lesbianism was n saw myself in it that was that #and the same w realising my understanding of my gender was different like i just immediately incorporated it into my life #and yeah i havent 'come out' to my parents which used to be bc they were kinda homophobic but theyve grown n theyre not anymore #but i just dont need to like its not relevant to our relationship???#if i had a long term partner i would introduce them. and that would probably be the only way id explicitly acknowledge it to them #they likely already know by this point bc ive never made much of an effort to hide it n virtually everyone else has known for 8+ years #im not dependent on them anymore so it doesnt really matter if it damaged our relationship. like that would be on them if it did #sorry this sounds cold. idk ive never believed in unconditional familial love in my experience there are always conditions attached #i care abt them a lot dont get me wrong.. ah im explaining badly im so shattered....#my alarm is probably charged enough now so im gonna sleep now otherwise ill be getting less than 6 hrs sleep sigh..#im just rambling..... goooodnight muah #.diaries

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arminsumi · 2 months ago

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. . . 𝐬𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

► 'Love, love, love, I want your love... you and me could write a bad romance.'

+ Warnings: MDNI/18+ content, smut, kinda slowburn/enemies to lovers, bullying/toxicity, obsession, dom → sub!Gojo, some degradation, namecalling (sl★t), rough s★x, riding his abs, f★ngering, some hatef★cking

+ Tags: @ciggrx

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡?

This is what you've been wondering since you started at this college. It feels surreal, watching how people fawn over 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮, how they desperately — desperately — follow after his wake. His hoard of brainwashed admirers make it even harder for you to stand up to him, because they're convinced that he can do no wrong.

𝐒𝐞𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞, so your attempts to retaliate just earn a wide grin from him. He just thinks you're cute, assuming you're flirting with him, so he purrs back "Don't turn me on now." like you've just confessed how much you want to ride him.

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬, ridiculing everything you like. Your music taste? "That's so basic." he scoffs, but when he goes home that night he's listening to each and every song that you mentioned, thinking of you.

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮'𝐬 voice is always sweetened when he talks to you. No, it's not sweetened for anyone else; his words are so venomous but those saccharine syllables throw you off.

𝐇𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮, hurrying to his car as soon as morning classes end to jerk off in the backseat. Leaky and twitchy, his cock stands upright with only one thought on its mind and that's to be inside you. He throws his head back while giving himself quick strokes, thinking about all the times you've sassed him back, flirted back. Tightening his jaw, Satoru gets off to the fantasy of you obsessing over him — instead of how it really is.

𝐇𝐞'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞, openly admitting at parties that he'd "show you heaven" if he had fifteen minutes alone with you. Legs spread wide as he's sat, staring, taking a sip of his drink, Satoru whispers something about you to Suguru — causing his best friend to blush and smack his shoulder, muttering a scornful "Don't talk about girls like that, Satoru."

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲, where Satoru's attention is just plastered all over you. You're late? He's asking people where Miss Bunny is. You walk into the room? He sees you before you see him. You say something? He's straining his ears. You're dressed in a tight dress? He's thinking about peeling it off your body just before he slides into you. Oh, you brought a date with? He's going to mutter some terrible rumor into their ear so that by the end of the night you're all alone, just like he wants.

Once your date is gone, Satoru will make his way over to you, slide into the seat that's too small for two people — he'll press his thigh against yours, leaning over you like he's got no sense of personal space. "All alone? Need me to keep you company?" he grins, looking down at you. It only makes him grin wider when you playfully push his face away, "Have you been kissing girls all night with breath this bad?"

"Don't like the smell of liquor, huh? Then I take it you're not down for... ah never mind." he stops mid-sentence, just to tease you, smirking to himself when he sees your eyes light up with a attention.

𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐭, not expecting your reciprocation. The taste of liquor is sharp on his tongue, mixing with the flavor of your mouth — something he's been dying to taste.

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮'𝐬 usually the center of attention, but now he's pulling you to the side, tongue exploring your mouth, lips plastered all over you like he's never felt someone better than you. It's just a party, and you're just horny, and he's just there; that's what you're telling yourself as you try to justify why your hands are on his chest.

𝐇𝐞'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, leading you to the backseat of his car. "I hate you." you murmur against his lips, "Shut up and spread your legs." is all that he responds with before his hand finds its way down to your clothed pussy. He squeezes it, smiling about how small it feels in his palm.

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐲𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭 with you when he pleasures you with his fingers in the backseat of his car, his clit massaging feeling too good, his fingertip perfectly positioned. "You're so pretty." he says in adoration — totally forgetting about who he is as he watches you shiver and moan from the circling of his fingertips around your puffy clit. "Is it too much?" he whispers, easing the pressure, "Oh, you like it? You want more? Okay, pretty girl. I'll give you more. You just lay back and enjoy yourself."

𝐎𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, claiming that you imagined it all. You want more and he calls you a 'bitch in heat' with a grin on his face, like he's not the one who stared intently into your eyes while you came all over his fingers that night.

𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 asks Suguru to ask how you're doing, what you're up to — are you're free on the weekend? And Suguru just sighs in compliance, thinking lower and lower of his best friend because god, how pathetically prideful can one man be? "Just text her." he tells him, to which Satoru responds "No way. That would give her the satisfaction of knowing that I'm interested." and here is where Suguru groans, "Oh my God, what dumb games are you two playing with each other? She says she can't tell you she likes you, and you say you can't give her the satisfaction — you're both insane."

Satoru's eyes light up, "She said she likes me?! When was this? Was she joking? Did she look like she was joking? You can tell by the way the left corner of her lip curls. What are you groaning about! This is serious, Suguru! Take me seriously! What else has she said about me? Does she like my hair? Ask her if she likes my hair. And ask her what her favorite ice cream is — is she lactose intolerant? Suguru, don't walk away from me. I need this information and you're my spy. Come on, I'll pay you."

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝, needing a cigarette each time he watches the two of you "fight like you're gonna fuck". Each time you storm off, leaving behind a Satoru who's smiling like a jackass and a Suguru who's shaking his head at his best friend, it seems like it's the last time you'll let Satoru ridicule you.

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫, asking Suguru where Satoru is. "I thought you said you hated him and never wanted to see him again?" he sighs, "Never mind. He was asking for you too. Yeah, he's in the hall."

𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 accuses you of liking his best friend — to which you reassure him that you do not, as if you're his girlfriend. In fact, the argument in the hall goes down like you two are a fighting couple. But of course, while up in your face, Satoru's eyes are on your lips; it's not long before he's crashing onto your lips with a hateful kiss, like he's lost his mind and it's somewhere in your mouth.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮'𝐬 kisses are so hard that the force of them pins you to the wall — and god, he loves your whimpers. Every noise that he elicits out of you causes his lips to spread into a naughty smile; he keeps kissing you through this smile, lips wet and sore.

. . . 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮'𝐬 thrusts are so hard that the force of them makes your thighs and ass jiggle. He feels your hole contract tightly around his cock — and god, he moans like a bitch in heat.

It's so funny, because he accuses you that you moan like a bitch in heat. "Aw, you're so in love with your bully's big cock, aren't you?" he taunts.

The only correct response is a cheeky one; "Says you; you fuck me like you haven't gotten pussy in years." he hears this, then draws out his cock and slams it back in with a force that makes your eyes roll back. He pounds into you harder, hitting spots that all your exes failed to reach, moaning even more pathetically than before.

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 babbles when he's close, "You love me, right? Tell me you love me. Please, I'm gonna cum so fucking hard if you say it."

But immediately after, he pretends like he never begged for any of that, and pretends like his cock didn't twitch and throb and spurt cum instantly when he heard you proclaim love for him.

𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠? 𝐎𝐡, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞. He loves telling you how much he hates your guts while he's deep in them. He loves making a sloppy mess of you as he claims that he hates you and everything you stand for, feeling how sticky and wet you get at his growling voice. He loves how your greedy hole slicks not just his cock but also his abs, which he tauntingly accuses you of perving on.

𝐎𝐡, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞, he holds your hips down hard against his stomach and flexes his muscles against your pussy. "Look at that face, you love this don't you?" he grunts, feeling you slide back and forth over him, "I shoulda cum over myself first and let you ride me like that, huh? You'd love feeling my cum all over your pussy, wouldn't you?"

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 loves cornering you after classes, pressing and grinding his growing erection into your tinier body. "Feel how hard I am — yeah, feel how much I fucking hate you, little slut." he coos against your lips, all up in your face, guiding your hand to his cock.

Of course, you can't even bother resisting the urge to squeeze it, can't even bother hiding how much you want him to ruin you with it. It just makes him grin, seeing you slowly fall apart and heat up after a few minutes of touching.

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫, and he's told you "Don't test me, I'm not afraid to make you an ex. What do you mean we're not dating? Then why do you moan my name on my dick like I'm your man?" and he's crawled back to you, apologizing.

"I didn't mean it, I was just being an asshole for no reason. Come on, will you come tonight? Everyone's going to be there." he pleads you, eyes persuading you as they always do.

Because of course, he can't attend dumb frat parties without you anymore. To quote what he told Suguru, poutingly over the phone, after begging his best friend to help convince you to come; "What's the point of going if she isn't there? The whole purpose of my outfit this year is to scare the shit out of her... and then fuck the shit out of her. Don't you cringe at me, Suguru, it was your idea! No, you weren't joking! Don't play it off now! You literally told me that she has a kink for that — wait a minute, how'd you find out about that... DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME!"

𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧, rubbing his dick into you from behind, claiming that he's gonna "Make you scream just like that" again and again tonight, right here in this bathroom. He makes sure to pronounce his muscles, to flex them, to really remind you how much stronger and taller and bigger he is.

𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝? 𝐍𝐨, 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝… "It's you who's obsessed with me; just feel how wet you are." he groans, fingers stuffed knuckle-deep inside your pussy. He stares into your eyes intensely as you orgasm on his fingers, intently watching how your lips form his favorite 'o' shape.

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 loves your weak holes, loves your expressions, loves how you crawl back to him for more even though he treats you so bad sometimes.

His nastiness turns you on but at some point, you think enough is enough; you turn the tables on him.

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝, because the girl he's obsessed with isn't obsessed with him anymore. He nags you to go on a date with him, he softens his eyes, holds you more gently — "Stop ignoring me." he whines like a child.

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬 to beg you to go out with him, to kiss him just one more time, to come back to his bed, to sit on his face, "I can prove to you that heaven's on my tongue. What? No, no. I didn't mean all of that. I know I was a jerk to you back then, but please, just give me another chance."

𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, following after your shadow. But now he's the one at your mercy; you lead him by the hand upstairs to empty rooms during those dumb frat parties, and you ride him until he whimpers like a bitch in heat. "Close already? It's only been fifteen minutes, Satoru. What happened to your stamina?" you taunt him, "Keep it together."

Now riding Satoru pulls the most pathetic sounds out of his pretty lips. His sensitive cock twitches and jumps at just the sight of you, of course it's throbbing and bursting with cum within ten minutes. Sometimes less. And what does he babble as he's about to cum? "Please don't stop." in the most pathetic tone of voice.

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬, grovels at your feet, mumbles in agreement to the things you want to do. He's just caved in, totally given up on acting tough and mean, given up on pretending that he hates everything you like — he wonders to himself, why did he waste so much time being an asshole? He could have just sat there, like he is now, listening to you yap with hearts in his eyes.

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫, "𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲"!𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮'𝐬 totally smitten, desperate for your attention. Suguru's always commenting on how you've changed him for the better, while Satoru denies having changed at all.

But let his actions speak for his change. He's always cancelling those dumb frat parties to make plans with you. You want to see this new fancy restaurant? Hold on, he's got to buy you a glittery dress for the occasion. What if we went to the seaside? That's not overly romantic, is it? Ring shopping? Relax, he's just a college student, he's not going to propose to you. Buying a diamond ring is just a personal investment for his future.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢'𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

#tw: smut #tw: bullying #tw: degradation #smut #gojo x reader #gojo #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #gojo satoru x reader #satoru smut #gojo smut #gojo x reader smut #jjk smut #jjk x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #smut with fluff

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