#i have but it’s always been too soon or by the wrong person or in the wrong way
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Lnds being a girl dad
Decided to write it down because I'm bored 🥱 here is my list of ideas that can use but just tag me on it so I can also enjoy the story
Xavier :
Calls your daughter lil princess
Has his hair color and your eyes. Inherited his cute lil pout
Xavier would totally get everything his lil princess wants. Want that new toy? Or how about the new plushie at the arcade machine? Sure, he'll get it right away
Xavier would love to read bed time stories to his daughter every night. Turning off the light while turning on the fairy lights acting as twinkling like stars in the night sky in your daughter room.
He definitely built a fort for her
Has two pets rabbits named Mr.Bunbun and Mrs.Bunbun ( they are married in your daughter mind )and one goldfish named Goldie had Goldie replace every month bec it keeps dying because of your clueless daughter that keep killing the fish
"Daddy why is Goldie floating? " your daughter said curiously " it's because he's taking his afternoon naps , and time for yours too " Xavier lifted his lil princess, carrying her too her room. After she's asleep Xavier calls you " we need another goldfish" he scratches his head " what is it this time?" You asked on there other line " she put a heater in the thank to keep him warm "you sigh, a hand on your hip as you told him frustrated " I told you not to give her a goldfish, poor fish "
He could tell his daughter the truth but couldn't stand to break her lil heart. And it isn't that he didn't keep an eye on her while she played with the fish it's just he took a 5 minutes nap , it wouldn't hurt right? Well that proofed him wrong...
Would like to bake cookies with her ( with you watching them of course )
Would miss his lil princess and you too during every mission . He can't wait to go home to his loving family
If you both are given a mission and both of u can't look after your daughter, she gladly stay with uncle Jeremiah. During the stay with her uncle she learns some gardening skills and is pretty good at taking care of plants
Xavier is of course jealous of Jeremiah, seeing his daughter talking about how the few days has been with her favorite uncle
" princess who do u like more your dad or your stupid uncle Jeremiah? " he said serious
" daddy don't say that about uncle Jeremiah! " good thing she has your personality always ready to defend the person she care and love. But Xavier couldn't help feel his heart ache but also feel proud, his lil princess stood up for his uncle but going against her dad
" uncle Jeremiah is a great uncle and smart tooo ! He's not stupid " she said to her dad " uncle Jeremiah is my favorite uncle! But you are my dad and the best daddy I could ask for "
You ended up ending the recording to Jeremiah to let him witness this scene too
Zayne
His office would be also his daughter office. After school your daughter would walk to Akso hospital since the kindergarten isn't far from the hospital just a 5min walk. But sometimes zayne would be free , so he would pick up his daughter if he didn't had a appointment at that time.
also would occasionally ( almost everytime he pick up his daughter ) bring your daughter to the bakery next a few buildings from the kindergarten .
Inherited his father's sweet tooth
Also hates the dentist
He will watch his daughter sit in his office doing her homework in her lil desk next to him. Also has a picture frame of the family photo that you didn't take a few days ago
The reason why zayne daughter would be at his work is because sometimes you can't pick up your daughter during the day is because your busy with mission and work.
After work you pick up your daughter at your husband work " bye daddy see you soon " she waved and your husband nodded " see you at home "
When zayne would have a surgery your daughter would patiently do her homework ,if she's done she would go around the hospital lobby and talk to the nurses and doctors
But sometimes zayne would come home late at night and your daughter would already be asleep by then. Also the reason why she likes going to her dad work place, is to spend time with him when at night she bearly see him or spend time with
The nurses and doctors love your cute lil daughter
" oh how she looks like Dr. Zayne so much "
" she also has Dr. Zayne calm expression "
Your daughter would have a personal ID badge hanging around her neck that you help her make . Just letting the other nurses and doctors know that she Dr.zayne daughter and not a lost kid
Zayne would double check himself if he has any blood on himself or the smell of blood on him before going to see his daughter after the surgery
Zayne can't help it if his daughter ask for another piece of his macarons " ok, you can have another one but just dont tell your mom. You can it have a maximum of 3 per day and you already have 5 "
"but daddy the same goes for you too and your already have 6 !" Your husband chuckled "alright this will be our lil secret"
" what little secrets ?" You lean against the doorframe , folding your arms as you watch both of them eating, almost finishing dozen macarons
Girl dad zayne would deny that he always saying yes to his daughter " oh really? What about last week Saturday? U said no more sugar but you bought her a snow cone" you tease your husband
" daddy can I have that snow cone? It's a double scoop and it looks like a snowman ! And best of all I can share with you ! "
" at least she has a good reason " your husband replied pushing his glasses to the brim of is node" oh just admit it Dr.zayne ~ "he smile and looked at your sleeping daughter on his office couch
Rafayell
Would spoil his lil sea guppy rotten
" daddy can I have a pony? " already bought one a few seconds ago when he say her drawing a pony. Bought a pony the same as the drawing
Want some plushies? No worries he called Thomas to get her the most cutest plushy and limited to edition
But your daughter love the plushies her had won for her at the arcade especially the pufferfish and the birb
Would teach your daughter about lemurians language. Also tell her stories about the lemurians
" daddy do you think I can turn my legs into a lemurian fish tailtoo? " her eyes sparked looking at her dad
" of course you can. You are half lemurian and human after all " rafayell ruffled her hair
The day she transformed into a lamurian in the bathtub is the day rafayell cheered for her because he didn't know if she could actually turn her legs into a fish tail
Would take her to the beach so she can swim in the ocean and get used to the salty waters . But also for some family fun time
You joined them watching how rafayell teach your daughter to swim in her new found form. You don't have a fish tail but you can still breath under water because of the sea god. It was fun watching your daughter struggle a bit
" hold my hand it be easier for your to balance yourself " your husband hold your daughter hand preventting from her turning upside down
" ugh, daddy this is worst then learning how to ride a bike! " your daughter wine, you couldn't help but laugh at them
Rafayell would bring your daughter to the art exhibit .
Also have a painting named after her and inspired by her . But that isn't for sale that's for the living room at home
Your daughter has a lot of dresses like a lot and same for shoes and jewelry. Rafayell like to dress his daughter up
First class trips with her daddy
Rafayell would definitely ride his sports car to pick her up at kindergarten.
" now wheres my little guppy? " he said standing at the door from the class she's in " daddy ! "
Sylus
Would let your daughter go on busssnins meeting with him because she asked him. At first he said no because it's a dangerous mission . But your daughter is cunning which she got from you of course " but I have daddy to protect me there, he's the strongest and he's the best so nothing will happen to me " that boosted his ego
You where furious when you found out that your husband took your daughter to a dangerous meeting that ended blowing up the whole building " but sweetie, it's nothing I can't handle, she save and onharmed "
" you let her hold a gun."
" that's because she hated the merchant " sylus said confidently
Looks like onychinus had a new leader soon after her dad step down
Would let her dress Mephisto up
Sylus would teach your daughter some boxing moves
Would try to fit all of you guys in his motorcycle , your daughter in front , placing her hand on the handle while your husband hand on top of hers and you always being sylus backpack
Would have customized helmets with your names on it
Sylus would let her daughter play with his hair and stick some stickers on him and if he feels generous ( which he is toward you and your daughter ) he'll even let your daughter put make up on him
Luke and Kieran would be the best uncles . Would like to join her uncles with pranks
Love doing karaoke with her dad .both can't sing well and are death ears
Sylus would buy the whole arcade just for her daughter
Plays kitty cards with your daughter and always lose on purpose
Sylus is definitely the type to give anything her daughter fancies. She looked firearm for 5 second? Is already here with her name on it of course with no bullets . Or else he wouldn't have hear the end of it from you
Would definitely sign a no boyfriend till your married
Like and karien are your daughter personal bodyguards
End up hitting the post button while middle way writing 😅sorry for grammar mistakes and words.
Would prepare a fancy ball for her birthday
Would play the piano for her also teaching her some keys
#lnds xavier#xavier love and deepspace#love and deep space#lnds#love and deepspace#zayne x reader#lnds zayne#zayne love and deepspace#lads zayne#l&ds zayne#zayne x you#zayne x mc#mc x rafayel#sylus x reader#sylus x you#lnds sylus#sylus#sylus x y/n#sylus x mc#rafayel x you#lnds rafayel#rafayel x reader#rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#rafayel x mc#rafayel l&ds
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⸻ ᴛ ʜ ᴇ ᴛ ʏ ʀ ᴀ ɴ ᴛ ⸻
Pairing: Yandere HOTD x Targaryen Reader part 1
Summary: Everything was fine. You were happy. Your mother was expecting a child, and soon enough, you would have another one to call family, to call your own. Everything was perfect. What could possibly go wrong?
˚꒰notes꒱‧ Reader is Rhaenyra's twin. Criston is already reader personal gourd. Dark reader. English is not my first language. Gifs don't belong to me credit to the owner. Hope you enjoy!
The chamber was warm, bathed in the soft glow of afternoon light that streamed through the narrow windows, casting golden patterns on the stone floor. Y/n stood by her mother’s bedside, gently brushing a stray lock of hair from Aemma’s face. Her mother was always beautiful, but now, heavy with child, there was a fragility to her that made Y/n’s heart stir in ways she wasn’t used to. A strange protectiveness, an almost suffocating need to keep her safe from all the sharp, ugly things in the world.
Aemma’s hand, delicate and pale, rested atop her swollen belly. Her breathing was slow, rhythmic, and tired. Y/n could see it, the weariness that clung to her mother’s every movement. She had been sick often lately, and though no one spoke of it, Y/n could feel something dark looming over them. Something inevitable.
"You must be kind, Y/n," Aemma said softly, her voice barely above a whisper, but still full of that soft warmth that made her sound so motherly. "Be careful… be kind. To people… to the babe."
Her mother’s words hung in the air, and Y/n felt a smile tug at her lips—soft, gentle. Kind. I have always been kind, she thought, her mind drifting to the moments where she had shown her love, in the ways only she knew how.
“I am kind,” she replied softly, kneeling beside her mother’s bed and taking Aemma’s hand. It was cool to the touch, but still, her mother’s fingers closed weakly around hers. “I’ve always been kind to you, Mother. To Father, to Rhaenyra... I will be kind to my brother too.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, a secret shared between them. “I’ve already chosen a dragon egg for him. Dreamfyre's, and he will be great. He will be a king, Mother.”
Aemma smiled, but it was tired, worn. “You sound so certain it’s a boy,” she said with a faint laugh, but there was no real joy behind it—just exhaustion.
“It’s just a feeling,” Y/n said, her smile deepening as she leaned down to kiss her mother’s cheek, lingering just a little too long. Her skin is soft, she thought, and cold. Like a candle that’s been left to burn too long. But that’s alright. Y/n had warmth enough for both of them. She could give that to her. She would always take care of her mother.
Her lips brushed her mother’s cheek one last time before she pulled away, straightening her posture. "Rest, Mother," she whispered, her fingers trailing lightly over Aemma’s arm as she withdrew. “I’ll be back soon.”
As she left the chamber, Y/n's mind wandered. A king. My little brother will be a king, and he will love me more than anyone else. More than Rhaenyra ever could. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought. Her brother, with silver hair like hers, riding a dragon she had chosen for him. She could already see it—the two of them, bounding, and nothing would ever come between them. This time there would be no rats like that cunt, Alicent.
But now... now she had other needs to attend to. A different kind of satisfaction.
She made her way through the winding corridors of the Red Keep, her mind already drifting to him. Her favorite. He’s always so eager for me, she thought with a smirk. So desperate to please, so desperate to be needed. She liked that about him—his submission, his willingness to do whatever she asked without question. And his hair... gods, his silver hair. It always reminded her of home.
She reached the brothels and paused at the door, her hand resting on the cold wood. Do I want him soft tonight? Or do I want to see him cry? She wasn’t sure yet. Maybe both. Maybe neither.
Pushing open the door, she stepped inside, her eyes immediately finding him. He was kneeling, waiting, as she had taught him to. His head bowed, silver hair falling into his eyes. The sight sent a flicker of warmth through her—something like affection, but sharper. He’s beautiful, she thought. Perfect.
"Look at me," she commanded softly, and he obeyed, lifting his head to meet her gaze. His eyes were wide, nervous. Good. She liked him that way.
"I’ve missed you," she purred, moving closer, her fingers already itching to thread through his hair. Yes, he’ll do well tonight. Maybe I’ll let him cum.
The smile that spread across her lips was soft, almost tender. I am always kind.
The room was dark, the air thick with the remnants of sleep. Y/n stirred under the silk sheets, her body warm, still damp from the night’s indulgences. Her skin glowed faintly in the low light, the satisfaction of her desires lingering like an aftertaste. She let out a sigh, stretching lazily, the weight of Aelor’s body no longer pressed against hers.
Then she heard it. A faint sound—something off. Her eyes snapped open, sharp, awake.
Aelor stood at the foot of the bed, naked but trembling, a dagger held to his throat. His silver hair was messy, his chest rising and falling quickly, eyes wild with panic.
She sat up slowly, letting the sheets fall from her body, completely unbothered by her nakedness. Her gaze locked onto the dagger, her voice calm, almost disinterested. "Aelor," she said softly, “put that away.”
But he didn’t. Instead, he shook harder, his knuckles white around the handle of the blade. “I can’t,” he whispered, his voice shaking. "I can’t do this anymore."
Y/n frowned, her brow furrowing slightly. "What do you mean?"
Aelor let out a sob, his knees buckling as he stumbled backward, pressing the dagger harder against his skin. “You—you’ve made me miserable! Every time I’m with you, I feel like I’m dying. You’re cruel, you’re wicked, and you’ve taken everything from me! I hate you!”
Y/n blinked, her head tilting slightly, almost like she was confused. “You hate me?” she repeated, the words foreign to her. No one hated her. How could they? She was perfect. Is this a joke? She didn’t like it.
“Yes!” he shouted, his voice cracking. “You’ve ruined me! I want to die! I want to end it, right here, right now!”
For a moment, she just stared at him, her mind racing. This is ridiculous. He’s being ridiculous.
"Aelor," she said, her voice low, almost soothing. "Stop this nonsense. I can give you anything you want. Do you want gold? A dragon egg? A house by the sea? Just put the dagger down and tell me what you want."
But he shook his head violently, tears streaming down his face. “I don’t want any of that! I want to die! I want to be free of you!”
Die? The word was distant to her. Why would he want that? He has everything. She shifted, the furs slipping from her as she regarded him coolly. “Don’t be ridiculous, Aelor. You have a good life. You’re mine. What could be so bad about that?”
But he wasn’t listening. His breaths were coming out in ragged gasps, his chest heaving as he teetered on the edge of some terrible decision. “I can’t... I can’t... I want this to stop. I want—”
And then she heard it. A whisper. Faint, from the other side of the door.
“The queen… she’s gone.”
Her heart stopped.
Everything froze. The room, Aelor, the very air around her seemed to still as the words sank in.
"The queen is dead," came another hushed voice from outside the door. "Died in the birthing bed."
The words hit Y/n like a physical blow, sinking deep into her chest. Dead? No. Not Mother.
The room spun, and suddenly her world collapsed in on itself, like a dying star pulling everything into its cold, black heart. Her breathing quickened. She blinked fast, too fast. Her mother was gone. Her mother was gone.
No.
She felt her throat tighten, the air in the room thick and heavy, pressing against her skin. Her vision blurred, the walls seeming to warp and bend. She could hear something—an incessant buzzing in her ears, like bees trapped inside her skull, buzzing louder and louder until it drowned out everything else.
Y/n’s world collapsed inward. The sound of blood rushing in her ears, louder and louder, a deafening buzz. Her vision blurred, the room swimming, spinning. Mother. Mother is dead. She’s gone.
She tried to shake her head, tried to clear the sound, but it wouldn’t stop. The room was too bright. Too small. Too loud.
Her chest tightened, her breath coming in shallow gasps as the edges of her world shrank, leaving only the endless ringing in her ears and the hollow, aching emptiness that stretched out before her.
Gone.
Blinking rapidly, she shook her head, trying to clear it, but the buzzing only grew louder, drowning out everything else. She wanted to scream, wanted to tear the walls apart, to make everything stop, but her body wouldn’t move. Her hands twitched, her fingers curling into the sheets, the fabric slipping through her grasp as if it wasn’t even there.
And then, through the haze, she saw Aelor again, standing there, still holding the dagger to his throat, still crying, still screaming for a release that didn’t matter anymore.
For a moment, she just looked at him. Her mind was blank, her heart hollow. Then, like ice breaking through, her lips twisted into something resembling a smile, cold and sharp.
“You know what?” she said softly, her voice almost sweet. “You should do it.”
Aelor blinked, his tears stopping momentarily as confusion washed over his face. “W-what?”
“Go on,” she urged, her voice a low, deadly whisper now. “Slide it across your throat. End it, like you said.”
His face paled, and the dagger in his hand shook. “No… I don’t—”
“I’m not asking.” Her voice was like steel, cold and unyielding, her eyes dark and focused on him with terrifying intensity. “I’m telling you. Do it.”
“Y/n, please—”
“Do it!” Her voice cracked, sharp and vicious. “You want to die, don’t you? You hate me, don’t you? Well, go ahead, Aelor. Do it. Kill yourself. Right here, right now.”
He stumbling back, eyes wide with terror. “No… I don’t want to—”
Y/n stood, the sheet slipping from her naked body as she stepped forward, her eyes locked on his. “Oh, but you were so sure a moment ago. You were so brave.” Her voice was mocking now, cruel and sadistic. “What happened, Aelor? Where did all that courage go?”
He whimpered, pressing himself against the wall as if he could disappear into it, his eyes wide with horror.
And Y/n’s smile widened, her gaze never leaving his. "Do it," she whispered again, her voice now laced with something dark, something cold. Like Mother’s skin. Cold like her.
Criston stood outside the king’s chamber, listening to the muffled sobs of the king as he grieved for his dead wife. It was a sound that shook him—a king reduced to tears, broken by a loss so profound that even Criston, found himself feeling an unfamiliar weight in his chest.
Rhaenyra sat silently beside her father, pale and stiff, like a statue carved from stone. But Y/n was nowhere to be found.
"Where is she?" the king whispered, his voice hoarse. "Where is Y/n?"
Rhaenyra lifted her eyes, but said nothing, her gaze distant, lost. She was mourning too.
Criston stepped forward, his hand instinctively tightening around the pommel of his sword. He knew where the princess was. He always knew. She had a… pattern.
Viserys looked up, his eyes red and swollen. "Find her. Bring her back."
Criston nodded, his expression calm but his insides twisting. "Yes, my king." He turned swiftly, leaving the room with heavy steps, his mind already racing. The brothel. She's at the brothel.
He moved with purpose, the corridors of the Red Keep passing in a blur as he descended into the streets of King's Landing. The brothel was well know, a place where she often disappeared when the weight of her world became too much. The place where she would indulge in the pleasures that soothed her disturbed soul. Criston had been there many times—always to fetch her, to drag her back to the world she so desperately wanted to escape.
The madam greeted him at the door, her face a practiced mask of indifference. She knew why he was here. She always knew.
"The princess?" he asked, his voice low and urgent.
The madam didn’t even blink. "Upstairs. First room on the left."
Criston didn’t wait for more. He strode through the dimly lit hall, the stench of sweat, wine, and sex thick in the air. His heart pounded harder with each step, the weight of dread settling in his gut. He knew Y/n's moods—her recklessness—but something felt different this time. Something was wrong.
He reached the door, pushing it open without hesitation. The sight before him made his breath catch in his throat.
The man, her lover, lay sprawled on the floor, his throat slit from ear to ear, blood pooling beneath him like a dark, crimson lake. The smell of death hit him instantly—metallic, thick, suffocating.
And there, in the center of the room, sat Y/n. Naked, her knees pulled to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them. Her skin was stained with blood—his blood—and in her hand, she still clutched the dagger. Her face was blank, hollow, as if all life had drained from her.
Criston’s heart clenched painfully in his chest. Gods. What has she done?
Without thinking, he rushed to her side, kneeling in the blood, ignoring the way it soaked into his white cloak, staining it red. His hands were shaking as he reached for her, gently trying to pry the dagger from her grip. "My princess… Y/n… what have you done?" His voice was soft, filled with worry, but there was no judgment, no anger. Only concern. Only devotion.
She didn’t respond. She didn’t even look at him. Her eyes were distant, staring ahead as if she were seeing something far beyond this room, far beyond the dead body at her feet.
Criston’s heart raced as he pulled the bloodied dagger from her hand, tossing it aside. He reached for the corner of his cloak, the pristine white fabric now ruined, and began to gently wipe the blood from her skin. His hands moved with care, as if she were fragile—like a porcelain doll that might shatter at any moment.
"My princess," he whispered again, his voice tight with desperation. "It's me, Criston. It’s all right. You’re safe. I’m here."
But she still didn’t respond. Her breathing was shallow, her eyes unblinking. Criston could see the toll it was taking on her, the way her body shook faintly with each breath. She looked… lost. Like the little girl she had once been, scared and small.
“I want to go home,” she whispered, her voice so soft he almost didn’t hear it.
He froze, his hand stilling on her arm as he looked at her. She didn’t meet his gaze, didn’t seem to even recognize him.
“I want to go home to my mother,” she repeated, her voice breaking, fragile, as if she were clinging to some distant hope.
Criston’s heart shattered. The queen. He knew the news hadn’t reached her yet. Her world had been her mother, and now… The queen was gone.
He swallowed hard, blinking back the sting in his eyes as he reached for a cloak from the bed, wrapping it carefully around her naked body, covering her from the cold that seemed to seep into her skin. "You’ll go home," he whispered, his voice trembling just slightly. "I’ll take you home."
With a soft grunt, he lifted her into his arms, her body limp and unresponsive as he held her against his chest. She was so small, so light. He hated seeing her like this. She was always so strong, so sharp. But now… now she was silent, and it terrified him.
He held her tightly, cradling her as if she were the most precious thing in the world, his white cloak now drenched in blood as he carried her through the brothel.
The madam said nothing as they passed, and the other patrons kept their eyes averted. Criston’s face was set, his jaw clenched, his eyes forward.
I’ll take her home. It's alright. Everything would be fine.
Even if the rest of the world collapsed around them, he would be there. Always. For her. Only for her.
As they left the brothel behind, he felt her shift slightly in his arms, her breath warm against his neck.
“I’ll take you home, princess,” he whispered again, more to himself than to her. "You don't need to be scared anymore."
@ʀᴏᴛᴛᴇɴꜰʏʀᴇ 2024. ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇʙꜱɪᴛᴇꜱ
#ㅤㅤ⠀ㅤ 𓇼ㅤ ㅤ𓂂ㅤㅤ ˚ㅤㅤ ◌ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏#yandere hotd#hotd x reader#rhaenyra targaryen x reader#aegon targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen x reader#criston cole x reader#daemon targaryen x reader#criston x reader#rhaenyra x reader#aegon x reader#aemond x reader#aegon ii fanfic#aegon ii x reader#otto hightower x reader#gwayne x reader#dark aegon targaryen#dark daemon targaryen#yandere aegon ii targaryen#yandere aemond targaryen#yandere rhaenyra targaryen#yandere x reader#yandere#hotd x you#yandere aegon x reader#daeron x reader#house of the dragon#hotd
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the fans are always right. right?
synopsis - mr reca seemed a bit more downbeat then your used too, maybe some rather interesting reviews would cheer him up
includes - reca
warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight crack, wc - 1.6k
a/n: i uhh had an idea... lost it and tried to salvage what i remembered and this was the result- anyway all the reviews used were given to me by some lovely people ( @tragedy-of-commons, @singularity-sam, @vxnuslogy, @mikashisus, @/milksnake-tea, @/tetrachrxmacy and @theother-victoria) try and guess who's who :))
a huffed sigh escaped you, slouching down in your chair as the clock ticked rhythmically in the background. mr reca was supposed to meet you around fifteen minutes ago. he'd never been late before.
a reasonable explanation would be that he had something more important to tend to. and that would be understandable. but for now you were bored out of mind and leaving wasn't an option as reca could show up at any time - he probably wouldn't be as forgiving if you were to show up after him.
today you two were meant to develop a new script and start on the storyboard for his latest idea. in honesty, you're still not quite sure how you landed this job. you wanted to start getting into directing films of your own but couldn't quite place how to start and so you settled for finding a job as a co-director.
after helping co-direct a few pieces here and there, you got a message from the esteemed mr reca. you had to do a couple (maybe even hundreds…) of checks to make sure you weren't actually dreaming. mr reca didn't exactly strike you as the kind of person to need or even want a co-director.
and yet here you were. apparently he enjoyed the sense of style you breathed into the films you helped direct and thought it would pair nicely with a couple of his. even to this day you find it hard to believe that you still had this job.
but you put your all into it. a lot of trust and expectation was placed upon you and you would be sure to not let him down. even if that meant waiting for him to show up for your appointed meetings.
twenty minutes.
you looked around the room for anything to pass the time, all you could think of was your phone laid idly on the desk. then an idea crossed your mind. reca had recently released a film. perhaps you could read some reviews to pass the time.
you never really expected yourself to be mentioned in any of them. yes you got credits and the recognition for being reca's personally selected co-director but most people still only talked about him in their reviews, which wasn't exactly a problem.
it didn't take long to find a rather reputable review page and so you began scrolling.
you should've expected the first one being a five star review
@bebe_fanpage101 : ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- "This film has changed my life. My whole outlook on everything that exists in this world, in fact even in the entire universe. I can never look at anything I know the same way ever again. This film represents emotions most humans could never comprehend. But I can. Thanks to this film I have been awakened to many things previously thought unimaginable. Thank you."
a rather extreme opinion in your eyes, reca did have some “over-the-top” fans. your became intrigued after stumbling across a one star review soon after
@frankenweeniehater4life : ⭐
- "what ?"
[review has been deleted]
maybe it wasn't an actual review, but you stifle a laugh at the next review being from the same person
⭐
- "wrong movie how do i delete a review" (Edited)
perhaps this could definitely entertain you until reca arrived. you idly scrolled through the reviews, only stopping when some peaked your interest or made you smile
@seas_ablaze : ⭐⭐⭐
- "A film that does a lot of monkey business and goes bananas with it."
or alternatively,
@frankenweeniehater4life : ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- "i've seen about a million movies and dear god this has to be one of the worst. an absolute slog to get through. the pacing was awful, everything took years to happen. the soundtrack was grating. the actors either put no effort in or way too much- either put them back on the street or send them back to the musical theater. the cinematography was dull at best and straight up nauseating at worst- i had to pause multiple times so i didn't get physically ill. and don't get me STARTED on the stilted script and dull characterization. and the dog isn't even a weenie."
you reckon they might have gotten the wrong film again… but it definitely explained the username-
and at that moment reca finally showed up, he pushed open the doors grumbling something - obviously whatever kept him busy wasn't pleasant. he had walked in with a huff and his expression didn't exactly read that of happiness.
you brushed it off and greeted him like you usually would, something that was greeted with another grumble which you could only guess was a hello of sorts towards you.
watching, you noted how he slumped into the chair on the other side of the desk and it became clear that he wasn't in the mood to get any work done. the silence was starting to get uncomfortable and so you slid your phone over to him, reviews still open.
reca perked one eyebrow up and questioned you “what's this about? we have duties to complete not waste time”
you hummed in response before sliding your phone closer until he picked it up “it's reviews from your latest film, it's not like we'll be getting things done soon and maybe they could help guide our planning” a small pause “they're quite entertaining”
he scrolled for a bit before stopping on one and reading it out loud
@/blink!vxnus! : ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- "film was great and very informative. it made the story far more interesting compared to other documentaries tackling the same story. - 1 because mr reca wasn't in the actual film"
“it's not very helpful, just compliments” he sighed “and wishful fans being normal”
you smiled in response before reaching over as he turned the phone to you and scrolling back up again “this one's a personal favorite, especially the comments”
@/bebe_fanpage101 : ⭐⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- "came for the reca shirtless scene, stayed for the storytelling. no regrets stan robin"
- @/ultimate_recakisser : "I mean I’d be the same as well I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAT Speakingofshirtlessrecaifoujdthisonefanartdoesanyonewantmetosendit?"
- @/bebe_fanpage101 : "me. dms. shhh."
- @/iwishsundaywasmywife : "id judge u both. but. im the same way abt bird man so i cant"
reca stared at the review, then the comments, before his face began morphing into something akin to the middle point of shock and disgust.
he sighed “there wasn't even a shirtless scene, these people are… enthusiastic, to be nice”
you hummed in response before suggesting that the lower rated reviews may help more and scrolled until you found some.
@/iwishsundaywasmywife : ⭐
- "Great movie. Plot flows well, characters are charismatic and overall a wonderful viewing experience. Just hate the director."
@/abardslyre : ⭐
- "my gf broke up with me for the director. mr reca count ur ******* days."
you had to hold back laughter at the sight of his face distorting into confusion and a slight grimace making the corner of his lips scowl
@/seas_ablaze : ⭐
- "This is awful, pretentious garbage. In all objective fact, he's an auteur wannabe who makes idiotic movies for the normie audiences who are too stupid to think for themselves. I didn't even watch more than five minutes of it, I just know it's bad from his name attached to it. I never made a movie before or have ever taken a film class, but even I could do better than this disgrace of an art form that only a few can ever hope to master. Hell, I would personally kill all subpar directors myself if I could, I'm just that smart. As Lord Scorsese says: Cinema is dead!"
mr reca sighed, deeply, “i can't decide if this helped or not, but im leaning no at the minute”
you definitely could say you enjoyed scrolling through the reviews more, but it wasn't hard to notice how his demeanor changed. how he wasn't so grumpy and you could've sworn that at one point you'd seen a smile on his face. your idea worked.
eventually you two managed to start discussing ideas - which was more him talking your ear off with his ideas and you listening and writing down anything he told you to. and then he paused.
before you even had the chance to question if anything was the matter, reca surprised you “maybe those reviews could help for the next film”
“what do you mean?” you couldn't believe what you were hearing, your spur of the moment idea to show him reviews to hopefully boost his mood so you could both actually talk about his next film properly worked. it actually gave him ideas.
reca prattled on about how some of the reviews gave him the idea for how to expand his latest idea that had hit a wall and now he could continue to elaborate the idea. it was sort of satisfying to see how passionate he had become despite his earlier attitude.
he then abruptly stopped before trailing off “maybe i should listen to some of those reviews and change genres”
you thought that was a rather drastic suggestion, arguing that his current genres worked perfectly fine and it was his speciality, his signature if you would. but then he started mumbling again
“maybe if we went that route… then you could…” he was trailing off, you could barely piece together his coherent sentence but you could pick up on “based on us”
“what? could you repeat that again mr reca?”
“what?”
mr reca was never easy to work with.
taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn, @https-sourlimes
#—stellaronhvnters.#x reader#x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x you#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x you#hsr reca#reca x reader#mr reca x reader
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Chapter 3- Easier Said Than Done
Summary: Frankie's been by your side through some of the hardest moments in your life. Three years have gone by, and now there's no one you want to see less when you find yourself at your lowest.
Word Count: 4.1K
Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader (reader has a name/nickname)
Warnings: Angst, yearning, mentions of death, sick parent, descriptions of a panic attack, hospitals, teenage Frankie's back at it again making it impossible for us to hate him!!
A/N: Hello, my name is Madeline and I am unable to stop writing gut wrenching angst and yearning. (Hi, Madeline). Maybe one of these days I'll stop sobbing like an idiot when I write, but I fear that day may not be coming any time soon
All The Things We Never Said Masterlist
Previous Chapter Next Chapter
You, Spring of 2006, Age 17
Most people say it’s the smell of hospitals they can’t stand. For you, it’s the noise. The constant chaos of voices, monitors, sirens, carts clattering as they roll across the never ending linoleum floor drives you insane. Even when it’s quiet, it’s still never silent. There’s always an ever present reminder looming in the distance to not get too comfortable. The inevitable fear that something could go wrong, and have you wishing that all you had to listen to was the ambiance of continual pandemonium.
That’s why it’s such a relief when you hear the quiet ping of your cell phone resting on the edge of your chair. It’s enough to drown out everything else for a little while.
Frankie :))))))
Hey where r u?
Game starts soon and I cant find u
Katie and Morgan said they havent seen u either
R u ok?
You
Yeah I’m ok.
Dad passed out and hit his head. Mom wasn’t home so I had to take him to the ER.
Called Coach K in the ambulance to tell her I won’t be there.
It’s times like these that it takes everything in you to remind yourself that missing big events to keep your dad alive is better than going to big events without him being here. But when you’re decked head to toe in your soccer uniform, sitting on the edge of your seat in a crowded emergency room instead of getting ready to start the last game of your senior year, it’s hard not to feel a little bitter about it.
You read back over Frankie’s texts as you wait for his response, doing the quick math in your brain before frantically typing back.
You
Wait, didn’t you have to work tonight? Are you at the field?
Frankie :))))))
Called off work weeks ago
U really think I would miss ur last game? Cmon Kenz
Guess its not a surprise anymore. Surprise! lol
You hope the nurse passing by doesn’t notice the way you’re grinning like an idiot at your phone, biting down on your bottom lip to keep your smile from growing so wide it’ll hurt your cheeks. You re-read the last three texts over and over, your face growing warmer each time. You’re not sure why you’d expect anything less. It still never fails to make you feel like your heart is seconds away from bursting at the seams.
Of course he came.
So lost in your train of thought, you hadn’t seen a fourth text pop up across your screen, only the fifth text of “???” that preceded it.
Frankie :))))))
R u at memorial or westwood hospital?
???
You
Memorial. Why?
Frankie :))))))
Be there in 15
You
Frankie you don’t have to do that
Frankie :))))))
2 L8! Already leaving! See u soon!
The tears welling in your eyes were most definitely ones of relief, joy even, that Frankie cared enough to attempt to make it to a soccer game you weren’t even at, let alone forgo a night’s worth of pay to drive himself to the hospital to see you.
Your momentary excitement comes to a sudden stop as onslaught of bodies rush into your room to examine your dad. You’re quick to realize you’ve once again been caught up in a stampede where you’re nothing but another person in the way. An invisible presences that means nothing to anyone in this room. It makes the once blissful wetness welling in the corners of your eyes start to sting with a vengeance.
But you’ve come very quickly to learn that crying doesn’t help anyone, especially when you’re not the one dying.
You try not to let it hurt when your mom doesn’t even acknowledge the fact you’re sporting the jersey of the team you were supposed to start playing with twenty minutes ago, like you had brought your dad to the hospital in your uniform because that and your cleats were the easiest thing to throw on before you called 911. It’s even harder to try not to scream at the fact she barely pays your presence any mind, not even so much as a ‘thank you’ for getting your dad to the hospital in one piece. What’s the most painful is that you’re positive that she, or anyone else, even notices you’re gone when you slip out the door.
You’re here so often that the hospital staff don’t mind that you pace up and down the rows of the waiting room. Sure, they’ll be sending you a bill for the hole you’re burning through their carpet eventually, but that’s not today’s problem.
Right now, part of the reason for your frantic pacing is to cool off some steam so you don’t say something you’ll regret about your dad’s cancer having the audacity to ruin the most important soccer game of your life to date.
You’re also here so often, the hospital staff know Frankie. So much so, that your favorite receptionist, Cassandra, has more than definitely broken several hospital rules to let Frankie stick around long past visiting hours when you’ve needed it most. That’s why all she has to do is give you that look to break you from your vicious cycle of pacing to let you know when he’s arrived through the sliding glass doors of the front entrance.
Most times, he at least makes it a few steps inside before you notice him. Tonight, he’s barely halfway through the door before you’re wrapping your arms around him in the tightest hug you have to muster. He pulls you in even tighter.
It’s then that the reality of it all starts to set in. Your best friend had to drive to meet you at the hospital because he’s the only one that remembers you have a soccer game tonight. Your dad is in a cyclical pattern of slowly dying that leaves you feeling like a terrible person for even wishing things were different. You’ve spent the past nine of your seventeen years of life only knowing a world that revolves around cancer. For nine years, you’ve never complained that this is the way your life has been. Tonight, you’ve decided that the weight of the world is un-fucking-fair.
Tonight, you’re not the one dying, but crying seems like the only reasonable thing left to do.
You should be embarrassed by how loud your sobs are, how quick the damn breaks once your body finally lets you give into the pain. These are the kind of tears that make your whole body shake, the ones that make your chest hurt because you can’t catch your breath, gasping for air like some poor, lifeless fish, begging to be thrown back to the sea.
Frankie’s seen you cry before, but not like this. You should care about how your tears are staining the fabric of his t-shirt, how he’s the only thing keeping you standing while your body feels like it’s about to give out underneath you. You hadn’t said a word to each other before you’d collapsed in his arms in a sobbing heap, but right now you don’t care. You can’t.
You’re sure words are exchanged at some point as he practically carries you out to his truck, at least giving you the decency to finish crying without unwanted eyes in the waiting room glued to you, but right now, you can’t remember.
You’re not sure how long it takes you to get back to the point of being able to breathe at a semi-normal pace, but something tells you that Frankie will hold you for as long as you need him too, crying or not.
He gently strokes your back, his thumb tracing over the fabric of your jersey as it draws small circles over and over, a sweet and simple dance of his fingers that steadies you just enough to keep from flying away.
“It’s okay, Kenz. It’s okay.” It’s melodic the way Frankie coos it in your ear, like he’s trying to hush a fussy baby fighting sleep. It’ll take time, persistence and patience, but lucky for you, he’s got all three in spades. “I promise you’re okay. I’m here.”
“This fucking sucks.” It’s not elegant or graceful, but it’s the truth, and right now, it’s all your brain can process.
“I know it is, Kenzie. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not fair. I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life worrying that this is the last day I see him. I just want life to be normal. I just wanna go play my stupid fucking soccer game. It’s not fucking fair.” You ball your fists against Frankie’s chest, pounding into him like he’s the one responsible for your hurt and anger. He’s not the one you need to take it out on, but he’s all you have. You hope he knows it’s not his fault he’s become your emotional punching bag as he takes blow after blow, despite how weak your swings are. You’ve got no strength left to fight.
“I know. It’s not fair. It’s not fair, MacKenzie.”
He takes it all until you have nothing left to give. You’ve lost a game no one ever has a chance of winning. Defeat is the unwanted trophy life rewards you with, but Frankie stands at the podium with you. He’ll take the hits if it helps ease the blow.
“Will you be okay if I’m gone for five minutes? Just five, I promise, and then I’ll be right back.” His question catches you off guard, breaking you from your agitated state, nodding your head just enough to give him the permission he needs to race back through the doors of the hospital as you climb into his passenger seat.
His truck gives you the kind of familiarity the hospital doesn’t. It’s hard not to find irony in the fact you feel safer in his piece of junk car where the wheels could give out beneath you at any moment than you do in a building that is built for saving people’s lives. Maybe it’s because his truck is filled with the memories of moments in life that make you feel like things are going to be okay.
With the way Frankie’s breathing as he jumps into the driver’s seat, it’s hard to think he’s not back in less than two minutes, rather than five. He doesn’t say a word to you as he cranks the ignition, only a little prayer under his breath that now’s not a time his engine has chosen to give out on him. He doesn’t let you ask any questions until you’re already on the road.
“Frankie, what’s- Frankie what are you doing?”
He’s got that crazed kind of look in his eyes he gets when he’s hellbent on making something happen. He always likes to say that you’re the stubborn one. It makes you wonder the last time he’s taken a good, hard look at himself in the mirror.
“I’m taking you to your game.”
He says it so matter of factly, like his response to nearly kidnapping you out of the Memorial Hospital parking lot shouldn’t warrant any questions.
“What?! Frankie! I can’t just-”
“The doctor in the room said he’s stable and he probably won’t be conscious for the next few hours anyways. Your mom said it’s fine. I’m not letting you miss out on this. You deserve to get to play, Kenz.”
You’re not sure at that moment if you want to kiss him or slap him across the back of the head. Maybe it’s a little bit of both.
“Frankie, I-”
“I’ll turn around and take you back if you want me to, but I don’t think you want me to turn around.”
God, maybe you do want to kiss him.
“I hate you, Francisco, I hope you know that.”
“I know. It’s okay, you play better when you’re angry, anyways.”
It’s always the little smirk in the corner of his mouth. The one he makes when he knows he’s right. It’s the same smirk he makes when he greets you after you’ve scored two goals to help your team win the last game of your high school career. The same one he gives you when he buys you ice cream to celebrate with two scoops of cookie dough instead of one, because you won’t stop laughing at his stupid joke about your big appetite for winning.
That night, you fall asleep on his couch, too tired to drive back to the hospital, too scared to sleep in your house alone. You’re not sure if you mean to doze off with your head resting against his thigh like some sort of makeshift pillow. It’s easiest just to blame it on the fact you’re too exhausted to get up. But as you close your eyes and drift to sleep, you’re almost sure that the only muscle Frankie dares to move is the one that pulls the line of his lips into that same smirk you’d rather die than live without.
You, Present
You’re shocked your initial response to seeing Frankie Morales for the first time in three years wasn’t immediately slamming your front door in his face and telling him to fuck off.
That’s what your body wanted you to do. For as badly as it did, your some part of your brain wouldn’t let you.
It’s probably the same, stupid part of your brain that won’t let you stop staring at him, either.
He looks good. Way better than you’d like him to. It doesn’t seem fair that he somehow manages to find a way to return home more handsome than when he left. It happens every damn time. You swear he does it on purpose. You don’t know how he could, but that’s what you tell yourself. It makes it easier to hate him.
“I didn’t know you were home.”
It’s probably the worst thing you could have said to break the awkward silence stewing between you, because you both know it’s a dirty lie. But at this point, you’re far past granting Frankie the privilege of being a part of the truth- you’ll give him your version of the truth that you want him to hear. You’re not letting him have the upper hand.
“Yeah. I uh- got home this morning.”
Good to know the best either of you could do was reduce your relationship down to nothing but lying. If that’s the game he wants to play, then so be it.
“Drive was good?”
“Yeah.” Lie. “You?”
“Fine.” Lie.
For as much as you know the lies hurt, it’s the curveball you hit him with next that you hope stings the worst.
“I didn’t think you were gonna come.”
Because that was the truth. The way his face drops tells you the guilt ridden punch you’ve socked him with hits exactly where you want it to. You want the truth to hurt more. You want it to hurt just as bad as the way his truth hurt you.
“Of course I was gonna come.”
It’s a poor attempt at a swing back. He showed up with a knife at your gun fight. He knows well enough you won’t show him any mercy.
“Wouldn’t have been the first time you hadn’t shown up for something important, Frankie.”
“Your dad’s fucking dying MacKenzie, what makes you think I wouldn’t be here?”
“Well, he’s been dying for the past three years so I’m glad you’re deciding to show up when it’s convenient for you.”
That one shuts him up real fucking fast.
His jaw ticks as he takes a deep breath, staring up at the sky like there’s something written in the clouds that will give him instructions on what to say next. There’s not much he could say at this point that would shock you, but Frankie never ceases to be full of surprises, whether you like it or not.
“I’m- fuck- I’m sorry, Kenz. I’m sorry.”
That shuts you up even quicker.
It shuts you up because you know he’s not lying. The truth is buried in the way his voice breaks at the start of your name, the way the “K” trembles off his tongue and shakes in the back of his throat.
Your heart is mangled in your chest, hearing him say the two words you’d never thought you’d get and realizing you can’t accept it.
“Sometimes sorry isn’t enough, Frankie.”
Neither of you are sure what to say. It’s tough to tell if the fight is over because Frankie’s stabbed you to death and you’ve unloaded every last bullet you had, or if you decided to put your weapons down and walk away before any casualties have occurred. While it’s hard to deny it’s the latter of the two options, at least the first one would have been the honorable way to go.
“Honey, is that Frankie at the door? Let him in, MacKenzie, don’t make him stand out there!”
If there’s one thing you can always count on your mom for, it's that she’ll never fail to have impeccable timing, for better or worse.
You don’t intend for the sigh you let out to be as loud as it is, but it certainly makes it clear to Frankie you aren’t happy about obliging to your mom’s request. You expect him to pass you like you don’t exist, entering your house to greet the two of the three family members who still care about him enough to not burn a hole through his chest every time they look at him, but he doesn’t. He waits for your okay, frozen on the porch until the subtle shrug of your shoulders signals you’ve given him the all clear to pass. He wants to know you’ll at least let him through unscathed for now.
You follow behind him as he enters your house, trying to ignore the fact you’re entranced by the dark brown curls that still tickle the nape of his neck as he walks, or how the width of his shoulders nearly stretch from one end of the door frame to the other. You’re starting to regret not letting him follow you in instead.
You nearly bump into him with how quick he is to freeze once he sees the state of your living room. In the past few weeks, it’s made a terrible transformation from the space you once knew to a makeshift hospital room. The hospice workers had crowded your house with beds, oxygen tanks, and a wheelchair your dad refuses to sit in, an endless puzzle of enough supplies to let your father die in his own home, rather than the cold, sterile wasteland of the nearest hospital.
You’d been able to ease yourself into your dad’s decline. You’d watched the months leading up to now as his body became weaker and sicker, reducing down to nothing but bones and deep, dark set eyes. You were a first hand witness to how cancer had greedily sucked every ounce of life he had left in him, taking and taking until he had nothing left to give.
Last time Frankie saw your dad he was in remission. He looked good, healthy, even. That was three years ago. Frankie would have never imagined barely being able to recognize the man that was the closest thing to a real father he’d ever get.
You want to scream at him that it’s his own damn fault he’s this shocked when he comes face to face with the shell of the man your dad used to be. But with the way you can practically see the guilt oozing out of Frankie with every step he takes towards the near lifeless body lying in the misplaced hospital bed in your living room, you can’t help but let your empathy get the best of you.
“Hi Frankie, how are you? It’s so good to see you, honey.”
Even though your mom knows you’re seconds away from wanting to dropkick Frankie off the face of the earth, there are few things she’ll ever let get in the way of her warm and welcoming demeanor.
Frankie’s still borderline speechless as your mom grabs the tray of cookies he’s been awkwardly toting before she embraces him, arms still glued to his sides like he’s too afraid to move. The way she’s got him in the hug gives him no choice but to stare at the unsettling image of your dad over her shoulder, barely strong enough to turn his head to see what all the fuss is about.
“H-hi, Mrs. Anderson. I’m okay. It’s good to see you, too.”
“Is that my Frank the Tank? C’mere, kiddo. I was hopin’ I’d get to see you.”
The past few weeks have made you shed enough tears to last a lifetime. Never once did you expect the thing that would make you cry the hardest out of everything you’d been through was hearing the long lost excitement in your dad’s voice upon Frankie’s return.
It’s childish, the way you storm upstairs and slam your bedroom door behind you without a word, heat seething through your veins at the way your dad was so quick to forgive, welcoming Frankie back into his home like a day hadn’t passed, like he had been there right alongside him every step of the way through his descent. Your blood boils at the fact your father can’t be bothered to remember that Frankie had been nowhere to be found for three fucking years. Not a text, not a call, not even a “Frankie says hi!” through his mother four doors down.
You can deal with the embarrassment of throwing a full blown temper tantrum later, but that’s more tolerable than spending another second in the same room as Frankie.
“Well,” your dad huffs, his face grimaced with sarcasm as he looks back and forth between your mom, Frankie, and the empty presence you’d left behind, “that went well.”
“Sorry about that, she’s um-”
“She’s fine. Just stubborn.” Your dad grumbles, cutting off your mom with the best attempt he can make to raise his arm from the bed and wave her off.
“No, I uh- it’s fine, I just- I should probably get going, don’t wanna take um- take up too much of your time.” Frankie’s heart sinks in the uncomfortable silence, quietly cursing himself for the mess he’s made.
“It’s what, 8 o’clock in the morning? You got a bingo game at the senior center you need to get to, young man?”
“No, I just-”
“Perfect, no is the only word I needed to hear.” Your dad weakly smiles, gently patting the edge of the bed for Frankie to join him.
Your heart winces hearing the heavy footsteps a floor below you from your bedroom, knowing the direction they’re heading is only further into your house and not back out the front door where you’d prefer him to be.
Thank goodness your dad has lost the ability to speak loud enough for you to hear the words that follow the thumps of Frankie’s feet.
“Frankie, I’ve lived a very happy life. There are few things about it I’d change. But you know just as well as me that my daughter is the one who so lovingly inherited my stubbornness. Lucky for me, God knows I’m stubborn enough not to die until you and her figure this out. Unlucky for the both of you, that my time for stubbornness is starting to run thin.”
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Where do you need to trust your instincts?🔮
Pick A Pile Reading
(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)
(Booking are open- Links are provided in the description)
Hello, Senstea Souls!
I hope you're all doing well.
This is a collective reading about where you need to trust your instincts. This is a TIMELESS TAROT READING so know that it's meant to find you right when you come across it. 🤍🕯️
To Book A Personal Session With Me Either DM Me Or Refer To The Links Mentioned Below 👇🏻:
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Pile 1
Tarot Cards- 7 of Cups, 7 of Swords, Knight of Cups, 9 of Cups, King of Wands, The Chariot
Spirit Animals- Bat, Fire Ant
Hello, pile 1. Doing well? Let me know. 🫶🏻
Looking at the animal spirits, it seems that currently you're trying to structure the ideas that you're receiving from the universe. Your gut is saying that you can create something valuable for others, but you're still in the process of figuring out the details. By the upcoming full moon, you'll have full clarity and a plan to execute your creative ideas. Everything seems to be all over the place, but very soon (within days) things will fall into place. You seem to be overwhelmed with all the ideas that you're getting. Your instincts are saying that a lot can change within weeks if you put your all in one place. But your mind and your past experiences had you waiting and being patient. So you wonder if anything can happen so quick without going a long way for it. And the answer is yes! Your instinct is right. You're not going to make the wrong move. With shrewdness, perspective shift, and timely action orientation, you can achieve your dreams (one after the other). Have faith in your abilities. God's about to do wonders in your life. You'll attract a lot of attention to your work. I see a ripple effect. So go for it and remember to take breaks, as you easily lead yourself to burnouts. This time the patience needs to be kept to integrate these ideas. After execution, you'll see fast growth. You're right, there's no substitute for hard work, and it's going to be the energy of your past hard work that is going to push your efforts done this time to such an extent that you will be surprised yourself. Month of July and number 777 can be significant. Luck is on your side. The divine is favoring you. There are actually four 7s in your reading. The time of GREAT LUCK is ahead. You can feel it too. Trust your creative caliber and God. You need to trust yourself when it comes to the work that you do and don't seek external validation because you're already validated by the universe. You'll receive validation without looking and asking for it.
Pile 2
Tarot Cards- 8 of Wands, the Empress, 3 of Pentacles, The Fool, King of Cups, Wheel of Fortune
Spirit animals- Hawk, Tarantula
Hello, pile 2. Doing well? Let me know. 🫶🏻
You're very eager to catch something, or something has caught your eye. But you don't know if you're right because you're seeing something from afar. Trust your instinct that you're right. Either you're seeing too much or overanalyzing. The deep wound is the fear of ultimate success. It seems you're okay being in the second position, as you've also got a medal. But the universe is calling you to aim for the first position because you deserve to be there.
Okay, so now when I have pulled out your cards, they are very, very clear. My goodness. The signs are quite clear and persistent. Is it about a person? It could be. It seems that if you trust what the universe has been asking you to do or take a leap of faith in, then your whole world will turn upside down. But it'll be for good. Because you've been seeking and scrutinizing for a very long time, and it's time that you follow your heart. There's a right thing you need to do. You're stuck and unable to take a decision, but you have to. You need to follow the path of righteousness that your instinct is calling you to do, or you may always be at this crossroad, confused. The change scares you, so you are unwilling to make a move. Your emotions come in between, but you go against the flow, afraid of where it may lead you. You don't want to lose control. You don't want to leave the familiar. 333, 555, 1010, 000 can be significant. You won't lose control. It seems that you need to leave a tragic situation behind and move towards your destiny. Deep down, you know this, but you're reluctant. I heard, “I don't want to look like a fool in front of someone.” Again, I feel that you're afraid to lose in the game of having the best. So you are willing to settle for less. But you know and the universe knows that it's your destiny to have what your soul aligns with the most.
Pile 3
Tarot Cards- 2 of Pentacles, 5 of Swords, The Magician, Ace of Wands, Death, The Sun
Spirit Animals- Bear, Hummingbird
Hello, pile 3. Doing well? Let me know. 🫶🏻
It seems that you think you've got two roads in front of you and you must take one. But as I zoomed out, I saw that they both lead to a common path that you're meant to walk no matter which road you pick. So it really doesn't matter, and these two roads are not two different choices but can be incorporated in your life in such a way that they serve each other for your good. You know the source of your nectar, but you feel you need to leave that source behind to start from scratch for some reason. Rebuilding will remain a part of your life, but you'll be able to do it with the same light you once got from the source. Know that you're always connected to your source, your motivation, and your home. Hence, you can always get a taste of the nectar whenever you wish so. You're afraid to choose your happiness because you think it will go away once you go back to it. And as you're going far away, it seems clear that you'll lose it. But you won't. You've been through a very painful journey, it seems. The unclarity has been persistent for quite some time now, and you need time to ground your thoughts and make sense of them. The decision that you've taken is right, so please don't doubt it. As I said, you are headed to the same place no matter which road you choose. Trust your instincts on it. The path that you've taken or are about to take may be new and unexplored, but it's needed for your growth. Sun in Virgo or Gemini can be significant. The spark that you left behind will again light up your world, and this time not in fragments, but there will be full-blown daylight. Constant. What's yours and meant for you will find you again. Trust the decision that you've or are about to make. You need some time alone to deal with your emotions. You've delayed this decision for a very long time, and you must take this road now.
#pick a pile tarot#collective reading#trust your instincts#trust your gut#tarot card reading#pick a pile reading#tarot card reader#card reading#oracle cards#oracle#spirit animal
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-Unspoken Desires- part 1
Y. JW
Read this first before reading this chapter because you might not be able to get it. a quick drabble!! – @12connect on Tumblr
word count: 1.750
summary: You and Jungwon haven't spoken for about 4 years because he moved away. Since he was coming back and will be going to the same college as you, you guys had to be on good terms. What will the future hold in? Does Jungwon still wanna be friends?
This is not proofread so if there are mistakes...my bad. Feedback is always appreciated because I'd love to improve! There is no smut yet in this chapter but there will be in the following chapters. Enjoy!!!
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You quickly got changed into a cream white dress that hugged you in all the right spot, put on earrings, sprayed on your signature perfume and went downstairs. "Wow, I am lucky to have such a pretty daughter!", your mom said. You went into the kitchen smiling as you helped your mom set the table. She made all sorts of korean foods such as tteokbokki, galbi, kimchi jjigae and your and Jungwons childhood favorite kimchi fried rice. You could not be happier right now!
The table was set and it looked stunning. You quickly called your parents and your little sister to the table. Once they were all seated the doorbell rang. "Oh oh, here we go." you said before slowly opening the door. "Hii Y/N!!!! I missed you so muchhh." Jungwons older sister said while hugging you tightly. "You gave a kind smile to Jungwons parents as they entered your house. Jungwon didn't even look at you, something was wrong with him..."
Everyone was seated at the table, except you. You grabbed some soda and joined them. Sitting next to Jungwon as it was the only seat left. You guys exchanged a quick glance before diving into the pile of delicious food placed in front of you.
During dinner Jungwon seemed oddly uncomfortable, was it because you guys haven't spoken for about 4 years or something more. What's up with him today? Isn't he atleast a little bit happy to see me? His 'best friend'..I guess not.
After dinner Jungwons sister offered to help me clean the table while our parents were catching up and Jungwon was playing games with your little sister. "I've missed you so hard Y/N, how have you been?" "Uhm I've been doing pretty well, just a little stressed out for college. That's pretty much it hahaha:)" "Oh don't worry about college, Jungwon is going too. You two won't be alone, you've got eachother. So don't stress out." "To be honest Jungwon and I haven't spoken for the past 4 years, since you guys left for Korea...I don't even know of were friends anymore. He seemed so uncomfortable sitting next to me earlier, I'm not sure what to expect." "I didn't know about that, I'm sorry. I think you guys didn't speak because he got a new number, it's just a guess. I'm sure he'd be happy to talk to you again, he just has to get used to being back. Hopefully things will be like they used to before you both are off to college." "I hope so too. Thank you."
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Soon the Yang family left your house. You went to your room and thought about everything that had happened this evening, or didn't happen. Then you suddenly got a message from the person you hoped it to be, Jungwon.
Jungwon: "Hey, Y/N. Do you have a moment to talk? There’s a lot I think we need to catch up on before college starts…"
The message took you by surprise, but also filled you with relief. It had been a strange day, and his sudden distance had left you wondering. Now, maybe, you’d finally get the chance to understand what had changed.
You: "Of course, where do you want to meet?"
Jungwon: "The park near your house? I’ll head there now if that works."
After letting your parents know, you quickly slipped out and walked to the park. It was a cool, quiet evening, and you found him sitting on a bench near the swings, looking deep in thought. When he saw you, he gave you a small smile that reminded you of old times.
“Hey,” you greeted, sitting down next to him.
“Hey,” he replied, glancing at you before looking away, as if he were searching for the right words. He took a breath. “I know today was… weird. I didn’t mean to act like that. It’s just, seeing you again after all these years—right before college starts—felt… complicated.”
You studied him, sensing there was more he wasn’t saying. “I get it. I felt the same way. We were so close, then suddenly we stopped talking. I always wondered if maybe you didn’t want to keep in touch.”
He shook his head quickly. “It wasn’t that. When we moved back to Korea, I thought it’d be easier to just… let things fade. To make a clean break.” He paused, fidgeting with his hands. “But honestly, I never forgot about you. I think that’s why today was so strange for me. It’s like everything we left behind just came rushing back.”
Hearing this, a part of you felt relieved, but another part felt the weight of the years you’d spent apart. “I get it. I missed you, too. I just didn’t know how to reach out, especially after so much time had passed.”
He looked at you, his expression softening. “Maybe… maybe we can start over, now that we’ll be at the same college. We could make up for all the time we missed. Just like we used to be.”
A small smile broke out on your face. “I’d really like that.”
You stayed at the park for a while, sharing stories about high school, laughing about all the little things you’d missed. Jungwon still seemed a bit guarded, like he was holding something back, but he seemed more at ease, more like the friend you remembered.
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As you walked home that night, you felt lighter, like a piece of you had finally been restored. You weren’t sure what college would hold for the two of you, but for the first time in years, you felt hopeful about what lay ahead.
The next morning, after a night of tossing and turning with thoughts of what had transpired, you woke up to a text from Jungwon.
Jungwon: “Hey. I was thinking about last night. I’m really glad we talked. It’s like we’ve both been holding onto something for a long time. Let’s not let this be the last time we do this before college.”
You smiled, your heart warming at the thought. Maybe you weren’t sure what would happen once you both started college. You’d be on different paths, living your own separate lives—but that was something you were willing to face together, as friends who had finally found their way back to each other.
You quickly typed out a reply.
You: “I agree. I’m glad we talked too. Let’s make the most of this next chapter. I’m looking forward to what’s ahead, with you.”
After you sent it, you felt a weight lift off your chest. Things wouldn’t go back to the way they were immediately—maybe they never would—but it didn’t matter. What mattered now was that you had the chance to rebuild, to redefine your relationship in a new context. And, maybe, just maybe, the two of you could find something more than just friendship, something that had been lying dormant all these years.
As you sat down at the kitchen table for breakfast, you realized that despite all the uncertainty ahead, today felt different. It felt like the beginning of something new.
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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#im so tired of everything of living no matter what i do its always the wrong thing#i make everyone so uncomfortable and unsafe and i dont know how to stop it#everyday i stop myself from listing who i want to gift my hideous belongings#because im tired#others will find more use. more joy of them#meanwhile they are only getting dirtied by me#i must have been terrible in a past life. to be such a hideous person now#i just want to improve and change but its like everything just makes me fall deeper into this hole#i have depression but i cannot show symptoms. im the idiot trying to stop myself because i dont want others to feel bad#but its the others that make me feel like this#sorrows should not be shown. happiness cannot be shared. i have to be the perfect unemotional puppet to be loved#but my body and mind keep decaying and making it so much harder everyday#i fear soon i will be too weak to keep trying. and that the last thing i will hear will be total silence (from being ignored)#or a constant onslaught of guiltripping for letting myself get to such a state#i await the decaying with resignation because i have nothing else#haunted.txt
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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.
#personal#soo ive discovered a giant hole in my back tooth because medicare doesnt cover dental except for children#and so i havent been since i was 21 and i try to maintain tooth health at home but im not very good at it#due to being raised wrong about it and also autistic and i cant afford even a basic clean and checkup#which is what i was actually looking in my mouth and deciding i need which would be about 300 bucks already#and now im scared to eat anything because i definitely cant afford to make this worse 🙃#genuinely so much bad shit has happened and every time its like. ok ill pick myself up cause no one else will and dust off and things#will be fine in the end they always are and my heart believes this will be fine too but i dont remember the last time i was#this genuinely legitimately scared. im so scared and i dont know what to do#i know the next steps is to call dentists in my area tomorrow and check if they do medicare but i feel i already know the answer#idk if its better to have looked or to not and be able to live my life but its food time and i cant make myself eat#im scared to make it worse im scared of the pain that might cause im scared of the upward 2k damage costs if it gets worse#fuck#fucking fuck#okok panick attack over i have a two step plan: part one call around tomorrow and see if anyone takes medicare#part two: i have pliars and towels and painkillers and a lot of conviction in both my diy skills and my caring for my own wounds skills#in the mean time just be more dilligent to brush immediately after eating and ill grab mouthwash too as soon as i can as im currently out#i have a family friend whos a vet maybe theyve ripped out a rotted dogs tooth or two before and could help. but ill cross that bridge#when i get to it fir neow i should check with real dentists before making assumptions. and eat because ive been crying and shaking#and was already hungry and now am exhausted. from the aforementioned shaking and crying and need to eat even more#in all cases. dentist on medicare being the best obviously but in all cases im gonna ask to keep my tooth. unless i do it i dont need to ask#but i forgot when i had my wisdoms out a a few years ago. holy fuck that was like a decade ago actually wtf#ima make a necklace out of it since its just the one and not a pair#and just like that things will be fine. as expected as they always are once the panick mode is done im ok i have a plan and im good
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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all i’m looking for (from you.)
if i have learned anything it’s that you do not need to put yourself in danger for “character development.” your life does not need to be ruined for you to grow and bleed. you can surround yourself with positive stability and still learn and feel deeper than you ever could in the familiarity of the chaos and that’s all i want you to do with me.
i am not here to hurt you but i also have bills to pay and am really fucking scared of the lengths i’ve had to go through to convince others of the safe space i can hold for them before so i do not have time to keep proving this to you. do NOT put me through your hell in attempts to get me to break myself or you “for your plot” I’M TIRED !!!!!!!
it’s easy for me to show you the past versions of myself because i want to get to know and care for as many versions of you as i can. i share my day so you’ll do the same. but it’s really hard for me to do that when you don’t give me much to work on. however i learned the lesson of if they want to go let them go YEARS ago so i promise if you can’t share any authentic space with me someone else will i don’t want you to worry about me.
if you say you need space i will do my best to give you that. i really like you which means i want you to get everything you’ve ever wanted but i’ve been in therapy since i was 15 years old and i work really hard physically/financially/mentally every day to pick up the mess i was trapped in for years.
if you want a crazy girl to hurt you or chase after you or a forever thing or some casual body i’m gonna say go get it !! they’re out there and i promise you you’ll find whatever you need
i’m rooting for you because before you are who i think you are you are or who i think you could be you’re who i know you are which is my friend and as your friend i’m here to support you at whatever stage you’re in :>
i don’t think anyone is ever asking too much i think they always ask the wrong people
an alcoholic of many years asking a fresh 20 year old who just had her first glass of wine to essentially be a sponsor / lifeline.
a no feelings idgaf type asking a raised-catholic only child diagnosed with giving af disorder to be a casual one of the girlies.
a bare minimum bummer asking a post on a platform watch us grow and make silly fancams / date vlogs for us to be hidden away on their rebound like a shameful little secret.
a jaded soul on their last love ready to settle down asking to build a forever life with a girl who moves wherever she finds love.
whoever you are wherever you go i’m always gonna think you are deserving of everything you ask for. but i’m not who you think you are or what i know i look like so if i don’t live up to your ideal i’m gonna let you go.
right now i’m in a place where i can always be a friend and a silly girl in your phone. i would love to “complete my rep era” as it were but being perceived in real life and as a physical present human being takes a lot out of me and i don’t know how to make it not but i really like you so i’m figuring it out i promise !
i like you so bad but i’m really scared and you can put two and two together don’t make me say why i have issues about my body being perceived and people raising their voice at me and being seen in real life out loud ok you are a big boy you are very smart and intuitive and have pisces placements like me you should know :(
please don’t take my silences or shaking or outbursts too personally i promise it’s not your fault and i’m always doing everything i can to stop it !!!!!
i want to let myself be okay. and i want you to feel with me at the end of the day. it can be anything. whether it’s anger or hurt or hope or love or loneliness, through the screen or in real life. it can be yours or mine or the story we make together. as safely as it is for both of us. if you let me i want to be right there for you and heal and feel and sit with whatever you think you’re going through alone. because i’m not allowed to ask for more. i learned the hard way if they want to go let them go. so if you want to go i’ll let you go. and should our time ever come to a halt i want us both to be safe and happy and healthy all the way through.
and that’s all i’m ever looking for from you.
#🥭#ppl find it hard to believe i haven’t been asked this whole time#i have but it’s always been too soon or by the wrong person or in the wrong way#the problem isn’t finding a relo it’s finding the right kind#i will indirect and yap and cast all the little love spells but i will not initiate or ask anything first#you can though#you’re so sweet and salty i’m not gonna say no lol#🩸#🍺#🫚#🗡️#🩸🍺🫚🗡️ inspo but this is mostly for 🥭#everyone else go away >:(
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didnt want to derail that last reblog in the tags but. remember when people pointed out how fucked up it was that there were harry potter fans in staff that would get shitty attitudes when you so much as mentioned the antisemitism racism and transphobia. and everyone who wasnt talking about how weird that was was yelling at us to shut the fuck up because its just a book and shouldnt be surprising that people on staff are in fandoms on the fandom website. and then trans people started getting banned out of nowhere and if you pointed out how frequently this was happening to trans people (almost exclusively) then you were complained at for conspiratory thinking or whatever.
anyways i dont even know what tumblr tv is because i only use the dashboard and peoples ask boxes but i am absolutely not surprised if this ends up going in the same/similar direction. nobodys going to do anything about the bigotry because, well, clearly were just TRYING to be victims here
#original#if this gets either uncalled out or 'too' called out im saying right now we are going to start seeing jewish accounts being 'mysteriously'#being 'mysteriously' banned#i dont really care if its staff being actively malicious or if its 'run of the mill' corporate malice. the point is theres a pattern to it#im sure jewish people could tell you even more about these patterns. im only really able to recognize the ones ive seen personally#but i also know that bigotry is bigotry and the patterns from one type of bigotry often (maybe not always but often) line up with another#plus nazi shit has been on this site for years a lot of us just dont talk about it unless it comes up because who would seek that out#except for other nazis#but they DO have a lot of activity here. so yeah expect that to increase pretty soon.#i fully expect 'weird' 'glitches' that affect primarily jewish users... maybe in a few months.#i dont expect it immediately. and i would LOVE to be proven wrong but i do not trust staff on this issue lmfao
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see I get its abt repression and letting that bury u alive but theres still time it doesnt have to be like this etc !! and it does that powerfully. but I've just. never been repressed or closeted in that specific kind of sense. dysphoria has never manifested like that for me... I kind of feel like social pressures esp gender related ones didn't exert the same force on me growing up that they did on a lot of ppl I know (and still don't now) bc I never fully understood them or was excluded for various reasons. but man. fucking rough for ppl who did/do still feel that way 💔
#just sitting trying to unpick how i feel abt the film cuz my alarm is out of battery so i gotta charge it before i sleep....#like i didnt have an easy time as a kid or teen and yeah i was still very much affected by social constructs n attitudes around me#but it was difficult in different ways.... i dont knowww. i do have my own repression but not in a way ive ever seen represented#or that other ppl seem to understand unless they have a similar set of experiences to me#just too autistic to get it LOL#ive always been myself even before i had the language to understand what that meant. n the resistance to my self expression hasnt ever#trumped my ability to express myself#i think this kind of relates to how like. ive never had the need to 'come out' like its never been important to me personally#and i can understand why it is for some ppl. but as soon as i found out what lesbianism was n saw myself in it that was that#and the same w realising my understanding of my gender was different like i just immediately incorporated it into my life#and yeah i havent 'come out' to my parents which used to be bc they were kinda homophobic but theyve grown n theyre not anymore#but i just dont need to like its not relevant to our relationship???#if i had a long term partner i would introduce them. and that would probably be the only way id explicitly acknowledge it to them#they likely already know by this point bc ive never made much of an effort to hide it n virtually everyone else has known for 8+ years#im not dependent on them anymore so it doesnt really matter if it damaged our relationship. like that would be on them if it did#sorry this sounds cold. idk ive never believed in unconditional familial love in my experience there are always conditions attached#i care abt them a lot dont get me wrong.. ah im explaining badly im so shattered....#my alarm is probably charged enough now so im gonna sleep now otherwise ill be getting less than 6 hrs sleep sigh..#im just rambling..... goooodnight muah#.diaries
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oof. going to the gym today was the opposite of helpful for my pain levels. gah
#seasons! are! changing!#and i've! been stressed! as hell! from work!#my neck is wound so fucking tight#that i can feel it in my *eyes*#at least my friend already knew the moves we learned in bjj today so she was able to be very gentle with her attacks#we learned a shoulder attack that if you rven *let go* wrong you could do serious damage#at one point the instructor was talking her through another move and i had to keep tapping out before he could show her how to do anything#just the position alone was miserable#i have a lot of fun at bjj but my body can't fucking keep up#part of me wonders if it's an issue of not going often *enough*. like maybe if i suffer though breaking the ceiling ive hit it'll get easier#but i don't know if i can break through without burning out on the way. and without getting *significantly* stronger just once a week is too#much for me. and i can feel the difference if i skip a week. my body needs So much conditioning to maintain any level of strength#it's like trying to fill a balloon you can't tie off. as soon as the high pressure airflow stops the balloon deflates#i've always been like that. and it's stark enough that i wonder if it's a symptom of some underlying issue#but i'm going to give bjj another month or two (and ideally some time with a schedule that means i can go to the wednesday class too)#but i need to seriously consider how sustainable this is. bc as much as i enjoy it i dread it in equal measure#and i've felt like garbage all day because i had to push myself so hard. i was worn out just from the 10min walk to get there and#stretching to get warmed up. i was maybe two minutes from mustering the courage to go back home when my friend finally showed up#i'm trying very hard to set aside the feelings of failure and shame at the thought of quitting bjj.#bc i'm fat Of Course i should be trying to exercise and lose weight! i need to be constantly repenting for the sin of my body!!!!#im not at all doing bjj to lose weight or anything like that. but the *impression* of what it would mean to an outside viewpoint still hurts#and in the end the thing i've gotten out of bjj was my new group of friends (been nearly 6mo already!!)#and they mean far more to me than anything i could gain from bjj as a sport#personal
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𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 (p.sh)
“fucking all the time is wrong when you're not mine, baby"
PAIRING: boyfriend's best friend!sunghoon x reader (f)
SUMMARY: just like eva did in the garden of eden, you fell under the serpent's court and now are under his spell. you knew you shouldn't betray your boyfriend, jake, like that when he was (not) so right for you, but seeing that he spent more time out for work made you seek the love and affection you needed, and who if not sunghoon could give you what you deserved?
WARNINGS: cheating (don’t like, don’t read). unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy), they fuck everywhere and i mean it, toxic, creampie, masturbating, pussy eating, fighting, kissing, jealousy, doggy, missionary, rough blowjob, angst if u squint? jake is a toxic bf, sunghoon low-key corrupts reader, reader is designed with a weak personality. lmk if more. NOT PROOFREAD.
(RE)PUBLISHED: 6th August 2024
WC: 13.6k
TAGLIST: (permanent) @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @jwnghyuns @bangtancultsposts @shawnyle @jooniesbears-blog @skzenhalove @ro-diaries @onlyhyunjin (oneshot) @mitmit01 @lilyuwon @whoslai @simhinata @ihrtantn @deobitifull @heeswif3y @skylalyla @lanapaz @run2min @rizz00 @yeorns @rayofsunshineeee @kim2005bomi @lhspeachie @star4rin @nyxtwixx @skipiuki @camprock101 @acolytees @hoonsdrnkdzd @jjklvr9 @sophi-ee @iamliacamila @nctislifue @dengenej @yorukoshii @nshmrarki BOLDS COULD NOT BE TAGGED
a/n: before some loser tries to throw shit at this i have to say that no, cheating is NOT hot and this is purely fictional. this isn’t the only fiction with cheating as a trope and it comes from a project that IS supposed to have heavy and bothering themes, mostly because it comes as inspiration from a song (go listen to it, daniel di angelo ‘GET YOU BETTER’) that gives me toxic vibes. anw, LIKE & REBLOG please and lmk your thoughts (again) on this fic <3
“Again?” You asked with a deep frown after hearing that your boyfriend had yet to go to another work trip, despite having just returned from one “I know baby, what can I do? They need me.” He said it as if you were complaining already.
But could he blame you? You had spent two summer weeks alone and bored without Jake and now you had to go through another couple of weeks.
“Why you? They have other workers.” You commented, raising a brow.
Jake sighed and walked closer to you “Because I’m good, aren’t you proud of me?” You looked away and murmured “Of course i’m proud of you.”
Jake noticed your sudden change of mood and turned you to look at him “Come on, I'll be back before you even realise it.”
You rolled your eyes at his statement, something that Jake did not like “Don’t be selfish, I need to work to have money.”
“I'm not being selfish,” You reminded, tone cold. “I just miss my boyfriend who’d rather be miles away from me.” You snapped, stepping back and crossing your arms to your chest.
Those words had been left unspoken on your tongue for too long to be able to hold them back anymore.
“We both know that’s not true.” He hissed, rubbing his temples “Do we?” You scoffed
Jake clicked his tongue, “Listen, I'm just asking you to understand.”
You frowned again at him “I understand Jake, I've always done it!” Your voice raised out of frustration “So why can’t you understand me?”
“You?” His frown matched yours, a few wrinkles appearing on his forehead “What is there to understand about a needy and clingy girl?”
As soon as those words left his mouth your eyes saddened. Were you really being that whiney? So many questions formed inside your head while Jake regretted ever speaking.
You were just being honest, that’s what Jake always wanted from you; honesty, to voice out your feelings, so why was he mad at you?
“Taking many short distance flights is also not good for your body…” You murmured, bitter tears running down your cheeks, your gaze locked on the ground
Jake’s face softened, realising that you weren’t complaining— you were worried for him “Baby I—“
You shook your head “Save it.” And walked away, disappearing in the bedroom. Jake ran a hand through his hair in frustration, leaving you to cool down.
However you both were two stubborn beings so, instead of resolving it, you laid on opposite sides of the bed with heavy hearts, hoping the night to wash the annoying feelings away.
Heleft early in the morning, without a single message or a note and not even a kiss on your shoulder.
Whenever he had a flight in the night or early morning to catch and you would still be asleep, he used to kiss you softly on the shoulder, but this time he hadn’t.
Had you been too harsh with him the day before? Were you really being selfish?
You glanced at the clock and noticed you had already slept the morning away so you decided to get something done.
You stretched your limbs and exited the bed, doing your usual routine and some chores as well, trying your best not to think about jake. If he wanted to stay mad, so be it.
When you were cleaning the living room’s floor you heard your doorbell ring, so you went to open the door.
In front of you a tall man with a sheepish grin stood, waving his hand “Hi, Y/N.” He greeted warmly
“Hi, Sunghoon.” You said back, stepping aside to let him enter. you closed the door behind your back and walked him to the living room “What’s the occasion?” You asked, smiling
Sunghoon looked around the house “Is Jake home?” You shook your head in reply “He’s on a work trip.”
Sunghoon’s eyes widened “Again?” He asked and you couldn’t help but chuckle, you two had the same reaction to the news of Jake's departure “Again.” You nodded
“Aw, man.” He sighed, “I haven’t seen him in forever since he changed job.” You wanted to reply that you too hadn’t seen him since he decided to pick a job that required to travel around the world, but Sunghoon didn’t need to know that.
Sunghoon tilted his head, looking you up and down “So, home alone?” You smiled sadly “unfortunately.”
He gave you a wide smile, one that showed his two fangs “I took a couple of weeks off work because I had to go on vacation but the hotel shut down,” He seemed to debate whether to continue, but then added “I can keep you company.”
You blinked faintly at his offer, you two weren’t really close, you never really hung out apart from Jake’s friend group so it’d be awkward.
However , loneliness made you desperate so you just smiled in return “why not?”
Little did you know that Sunghoon had another plan in store for you.
⪩⪨
“Good morning, Y/N.” Sunghoon greeted a few days later, entering your house with his awkward yet comforting demeanour.
“Morning.” You said back, guiding him to the kitchen and placing down the casket of fruits he had brought you “You didn’t have to..”
“Dot’t be silly, it’s a pleasure.” Sunghoon smiled, sitting on a chair “Can i help you with anything?”
You quickly shook your head “No, no,” You took a pear and showed it to him “I'll cut this so we can eat and chat?” “Sounds good.”
It had become a small occurence that you’d sit together and talk about anything. You two had got to know each other, and you realised you had a completely different prejudice of him.
At first, you thought he was cold and awkward, but he actually was very soft spoken and kind. your heart always felt content when you were with him, but you chose to ignore that detail.
It was probably just because Jake hadn’t replied to your texts since he left the country, your heart was just pulling tricks on you.
You placed a small plate on the table with the pieces of pear and began to talk with him, laughing at a story of his dog scaring Jake's family dog, despite being a lot smaller.
“Layla and Jake are so alike,” You commented, chuckling “Indeed, I see no difference between them. like an owner like a pet." Sunghoon replied, taking a bite of the pear.
A small drop of the fruit’s juice rolled down his cheek, reaching his jawline. You had never paid attention to his features so closely, but he was so attractive. His jaw was sharp, you thought that if you ran your finger on it, it’d cut.
His skin was pale, porcelain-like and his eyes were so dark in contrast, his eyebrows thick and hair that seemed so fluffy.
Before the drop could fall down, you quickly extended yourself and dried it with your thumb, making both of you stop in your tracks. Sunghoon ‘s deep eyes widened and you pulled away “I—I’m sorry..” you stuttered, embarrassed
But Sunghoon didn’t seem to mind “It’s alright, thank you.” He reassured, resuming to tell his story. You try to shake the awkward feeling but get sidetracked when your phone screen lit up.
You quickly took it, hopeful that it was finally a message from your boyfriend, but your face fell when you realised it was just a notification from YouTube.
You sighed and looked so gloomy, like a whole storm fell over your shoulders, Sunghoon blinked faintly “Are you ok?”
You didn’t want to annoy him with your problems, you two had just started to be friends, but you just needed someone.
All your friends were busy working or living their adulthood somewhere, while you had been inside that house too much it felt almost sickish.
You sighed “It’s just that Jake and I had a small argument, right before he left.” Sunghoon’s eyes were so attentive you felt exposed, so kind and gentle.
“Is that so?” He asked, letting you know that he was listening “Yes,” You breathed out “We said harsh things and now he won’t even reply to my texts.”
Sunghoon’s jaw clenched at your admission, How could Jake ever ghost you? He could be mad all he wanted, but he was on the other side of the earth, for Christ’s sake, he could at least reply to your texts just like he did to Sunghoon a few hours before.
Seeing you so sorrowful made his heart ache; he wouldn’t admit it out loud but he had always found you attractive, since the first day he saw you on campus.
Screw his introverted personality, he never tried to speak to you, only admired from afar.
However, when he learnt that his best friend had found a girlfriend and the so-called girlfriend was you, he couldn’t help but blame himself.
Especially since jake was treating you like you weren’t worth anything.
You were worth it, you were everything Sunghoon dreamt of— if only you knew how better he could get you. good for him, he had two weeks to prove you so.
⪩⪨
“You just didn’t strike me as someone who likes doing grocery shopping.” You commented, putting milk inside the cart Sunghoon was gently pushing for you
Truth to be told, Sunghoon hated grocery shopping. He’d rather starve himself than get out of bed to buy himself food, which was why his friend Jay and his mother would often bring him food or just something enough to survive.
But it was for you and you needed to eat to be healthy, he could do an exception.
“I don’t have anything better to do, do I?” He said, chuckling at the sight of you trying to take a bag of chips which was on the top shelf, clearly too high for you.
You felt his figure hovering over you, the warmth of his body surrounding yours, his chest caressing your back as he took the chip for you.
That movement lasted no longer than five seconds but to you, it felt as if time had stopped.
You snapped out of your trance at the sound of the bag of chips being thrown inside the cart and Sunghoon moving forward.
You failed to notice the smirk on his lips, but the man was quick to hide it before his undercover was caught.
“What’s left on your list?” He asked, scanning the cart’s contents to see if he mentally remembered
“Uh—“ You quickly took the grocery list that was crumpled inside your pocket and cleared your throat “Just… donuts.” You said quietly.
You weren’t usually one to overeat, but since your heart was upset, your stomach was the same and you craved junk food.
You waited for Sunghoon to make a comment over it, to call you ‘gross’ the same way Jake once did when he saw you putting a bag of chips — the same type Sunghoon helped you take — inside the cart. You waited for it, but nothing came.
Instead, Sunghoon pushed the cart a little further in the lane until he reached the snacks section and eyed the shelves “There’s strawberry, brown chocolate and oreo.” He turned toward you and looked genuinely interested in your choice.
“Which one do you want?” You blinked faintly, unsure on how to handle that situation. He raised a brow, awaiting your answer “Strawberry.” You murmured.
“Strawberry it is.” He took the donuts and placed them in the cart “Do you want something?” You asked, reaching for him with a smile.
“Me?” You nodded in reply “Yes, take something you like, I’ll sugar mama you.” You joked nudging his shoulder.
Sunghoon stayed silent a few beats, “No.” He said sternly, “I’ll buy this for you.” He pointed to the food you wanted to purchase.
Your brows furrowed “What?” Sunghoon smiled, a wicked grin creeping on his lips “I’ll sugar daddy you.”
It seemed like you had hurt his pride trying to say you’d pay for his food, but you still didn’t want him to spend money on you, so you shook your head “That’s not necessary.”
“I insist.” He took another small cartoon of donuts and placed it in the cart, hurrying away before you could talk back. You reached him again “No, Sunghoon.”
“Yes, Y/N.” He kept taking useless things from the shelves and you kept putting them back, this went on for almost two whole lanes until you placed yourself in front of the cart.
Sunghoon tilted his head “What?” You narrowed your eyes, clearly upset. Seeing your change of mood made Sunghoon freeze. Did he overdo it?
He let out a small sigh “Alright, I’ll stop adding things.” You nodded satisfactorily, placing yourself back by his side.
“But I’ll pay.” Your head snapped back to him and Sunghoon chuckled “It’s the least I can do, you invite me to your house and I pay for your groceries, it’s even.”
Arguing with Sunghoon seemed to be a losing battle, so you just nodded your head and smiled back at him “Okay, thank you.”
“Anything for you.” They were just three words, but they were the most sincere you’ve ever heard.
After paying for your groceries, you two made your way towards the parking lot, you walked in front of a window, a crimson short dress on a mannequin.
You stopped to glance at it for a few seconds, your eyes sparkling. Sunghoon noticed you stopping and took a few steps back “Like it?” He asked, smiling at you
You were so stunned you just nodded in reply, eyes still glued to the dress. It seemed so perfect, sleeveless and not too short but not too long as well. You could see strings on the back, leaving it a little exposed.
“You want to try it?” At his question you snapped out of thoughts, turning to face Sunghoon (who was also a rather nice view).
“No, no, we should go home.” Sunghoon frowned at your reply “But you like it.”
You sighed softly and chuckled “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I should try it.” He eyed the dress and then you, studying you from head to toe “Even if I want to see you in it?”
His words took you by surprise and you widened your eyes “W-what?” He smirked, his fangs showing from the corner of his lips “Let’s enter.” He took your hand and dragged you inside the shop.
He sat on a small sofa in front of the dressing room, patiently waiting for you to try that dress on.
The way your eyes seemed to light up made him want to buy you anything if it meant to see your pretty face smile and be bright.
He knew you were still shaken from your argument with Jake, and by the fact that the bastard was obviously ghosting you, and he’d do anything to take that sorrow away from you.
“Ready?” He asked after a few minutes of not hearing anything from you.
You carefully opened the curtain and lord if he didn’t get an erection on the spot.
Seeing that tiny dress hugging your perfect curves, the shy blush on your cheeks and still that perfect smile on your lips “It’s so beautiful.” You commented
“Give me a twirl.” He asked and you complied, twirling gracefully “You’re beautiful.” Your smile lit up the whole room, you nodded in reply “I think it’s pretty nice.”
Sunghoon stood up and walked toward you, his arms raising and taking your hair away from your back.
The proximity between you two made your breath hitch once again. You could smell his manly cologne and the fabric softener of his hoodie.
“This should be tied.” He murmured in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. His breath hit your skin, so warm. You closed your eyes, waiting for him to finish tying the lace behind your back.
He placed your hair back where they were and placed one strand behind your ear. He pulled away satisfied and smiled “Now, that’s even better.”
You looked at yourself in the mirror of the dressing room and Sunghoon brought his hands on your shoulder. He leaned beside your ear and whispered huskily “Let me buy it for you.”
Your brows shot up and you quickly shook your head “I can’t let you do that.” Sunghoon gave you a mesmerising smile from the mirror “Why not?”
“Because you already paid for the groceries.” Sunghoon tsked at your reasoning “And?”
“And it’d be too much if you also bought this dress. Besides, I don’t even have a reason to wear it.”
“We’ll make one.” You felt a sudden rush of coldness when his breath left your skin and he stepped away “It’s settled, I’ll buy it.”
You turned around, “But—“ He brought a finger to your lips “Sh, I said I’d sugar daddy you and I always keep my word.”
⪩⪨
Y/N: Please Jake, can you reply to me?
Y/N: It’s been five days, at least let me know you’re fine.
You sighed and dropped the phone on the mattress beside you, tired of reading ‘delivered’ beside your messages. Had you crossed the line when you argued? Personally, you thought what Jake said was far worse, but you were ready to forgive him if only he swallowed his pride.
You bit your bottom lip, your body craving to be touched and screaming for release.
Not only had you and Jake not spent time together, but it had also been more than a month since you last had sex.
You tried to ignore your primal urges, however your hips unconsciously moved back and forth, trying to soothe the aching feeling between your legs.
Your breath got heavier as you let your palm wander under your nightgown, touching, trying to turn yourself on.
You bit your bottom lip, your hand reaching down to touch your clit, circling it with your fingers; using your slick to wet it more.
You slid one digit inside of you, fingering yourself for what seems like ten minutes, trying to find that one spot that makes your head spin— it didn’t feel good.
You decided to try and squeeze your breasts, fingering yourself at a fast speed… nothing seemed to work out.
Frustrated, you pulled your fingers out and curled yourself in a small ball, checking your phone just to see that again, Jake had not texted you.
At that moment, a new message popped on your screen.
Sunghoon: Hey Y/N, movie night tomorrow?
You unconsciously smiled and replied with a positive answer, feeling strangely giddy at the thought of having another plan with him.
Y/N: Sounds good.
It didn’t take much for him to text you back, only a few seconds needed.
Sunghoon: Awesome. Tomorrow @ 9pm?
Y/N: Yup. I’ll make sure to do some pop corns.
Sunghoon: Haha ok
You turned off the lights, placed the phone back on the bedside table and tucked yourself under the covers, ready to fall asleep when it buzzed again.
You took it, the screen light too bright for your poor eyes. You narrowed them, trying to read the new messages
Sunghoon: What are you doing now?
Your cheeks flushed at the thought of what you had been doing before he texted you.
Y/N: About to sleep
Sunghoon: Aw :(
Y/N: Why the sad face?
Sunghoon chuckled at your innocence and kind self. He bit his bottom lip and leaned back on the chair, typing his reply.
Sunghoon: I was playing a game and wanted some company.
Y/N: I’m not really sleepy
His eyebrows raised, he thought you’d just turn him off.
Maybe his plan was working.
Sunghoon: Can I call you?
You jolted up, sitting on the bed and looking around in panic.
Y/N: Voice call?
Sunghoon: Anything you want, x
The way Sunghoon was treating you wasn’t the way you treated fiends, but you decided not to overthink it much. Sunghoon’s contact name flashed on your screen as he called you.
You cleared your throat and tapped on the green button.
“Hey,” His voice came out as hoarse from the other line “Hi.” You whispered back, hugging your knees to your chest and fidgeting with the sheets
You could hear some keyboard tapping and asked “What are you playing?” Sunghoon chuckled “League of Legends.”
You hummed “I’ve never played.” Sunghoon let out a sound of disbelief “Never? Jake never let you play with him?”
Jake would always complain when you ever interrupted his gaming nights with friends, “No.” You replied simply.
“Shoot!” He exclaimed from the other line, making you jump in surprise and gasp “Sorry about that— I didn’t mean to startle you.” He was quick to apologise.
“It’s okay,” You reassured, not wanting him to feel guilty about that. “So, how was your day?”
You two started talking about everything and anything, laughing and just enjoying each other's company.
You hadn’t even realised you had fallen asleep, your light snores and deep breaths probably became Sunghoon’s favourite sounds.
Because he never hung up, not until you woke up the next morning and did it yourself.
⪩⪨
Something didn’t feel quite right that day, you let Sunghoon inside your apartment and the two of you prepared the living room for the movie night… but he had something different. Perhaps, the other night something changed between you two.
Maybe it was his not-combed hair, all fluffy and wild, or the white tee he was wearing that showed the shadow of his muscles and abs— or maybe the grey sweats he was wearing. You gulped down, it was you, you were the one off.
Not cumming for so much time did tricks to your brain.
You decided to ignore it and you two sat side by side, but still keeping distance “What movie do you wanna watch?”
Sunghoon asked, lazily eating a pop corn while scrolling through Netflix “Cause I had one in mind, but we can watch something else if you want.”
You hummed “What did you have in mind?” Your voice was softer and quieter, making Sunghoon feel goosebumps all over his skin.
Oh, the effect you had on him.
He took one pillow and sneakingly placed it on his laps, hoping it wasn’t obvious that he was trying to cover his growing bulge.
“How to lose a guy in ten days?” He asked, faking innocence when you widened your eyes and physically squeaked “I love that movie!”
“Is that so?” Sunghoon asked but he already knew the answer. you had said that one day when you were having a group hang out with the others.
He remembered, actually, he remembered every detail of you— even the ones you may think of stupid.
“Then, let’s watch it.” He said and clicked play, the movie beginning peacefully.
It all went alright until Sunghoon’s knee got closer and closer, touching yours.
He acted oblivious, focusing on the scene unfolding in front of him but he was painfully aware of you.
Maybe it was also because of your exposed thighs, the shorts hugging your legs so perfectly, making him almost drool. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
Seeing that you didn’t reject his touch, Sunghoon grew a little bolder and placed his hand on your thigh, caressing it.
An alarm inside your conscience screamed danger! stop! but something told you that his touch was safe, soothing and so attractive.
Your mind went to Jake, how he would react if he ever saw your best friend touching your thigh, too close to where he shouldn’t be touching.
Nonetheless, Jake was so far away and Sunghoon so close to you, his hand slowly creeping closer to where you ached, where you just needed him.
Your breath hitched and your stiff state made sunghoon smirk sly. his plan was working smoothly.
His hand squeezed the flesh beside your thigh as your gaze was still fixed on the tv; however your attention was all on the coldness of his fingers, the way they felt on your skin.
“Sunghoon.” You wanted to say sternly but only a small whisper left your lips “Hmm?” He hummed, his dark eyes back on you
You gulped down and turned your head to meet his face, you glanced at the hand on your thigh and shook your head “You should stop.”
“Stop?” Sunghoon asked, his voice teasing and soft “It seems to me that you are enjoying my touch.”
Deny was what your brain told you to do but his hand moved even closer, resting just below the hem on your shorts.
Your hesitation made Sunghoon’s smirk turn more cunning, “What is on your mind?” He asked, his position shifting so his whole body was facing yours, the pillow falling on the floor.
You didn’t move a bit.
“That it’s weird…” You murmured “What you’re doing.”
“Yeah?” He cooed “And why do you think that?” He asked and his finger tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, making a small tint of blush appear on your cheeks
You weren’t naïve, you knew what Sunghoon was hinting at with his actions and words.
You knew it, yet you didn’t want it to stop.
“Because Jake wouldn’t like it.” At your words, Sunghoon’s smirk fell.
You were loyal and that was admirable, but it was only because his best friend made a move on you first, before he built the courage to talk to you.
Though Jake wasn’t treating you like you deserved, like Sunghoon would.
“Don’t think about him,” He said, his voice harsher than he intended to “Think about me.”
You watched him with hooded eyes as his hand that was tucking the small strand of hair behind your ear slowly slid down your shoulder.
Your heart was pounding so hard you could feel it in your throat and your breath heavier than before.
“This is wrong.” You whispered, unable to voice out the coherent thoughts forming in your brain with his hands touching you ever so gently “we shouldn’t do this.”
Sunghoon gave you a smile that was meant to be reassuring even if it was just victorious.
He knew you’d give in to him, sooner or later.
“It's wrong only if Jake finds out.” He looked down at your body, the way your nipples hardened and their outline could be seen from the shirt, he licked his bottom lip “Besides, don’t act like you don’t want it to happen as well.”
Silence filled the room except for the sound of the long forgotten movie, Sunghoon could sense your hesitation and your pretty brain overthinking, so he let out a small sigh “I’ll try something, you can tell me to stop if you don’t want to.” He said but remained still, waiting for your permission
“Try what?” You asked, your voice so soft and quiet it made his cock harden inside his sweats
“This.'' His voice sounded more like a growl, Sunghoon cupped the back of your neck while his other hand hooked around your waist, bringing you close; his lips connected to your neck, leaving wet kisses all over.
You instantly closed your eyes and a shaky breath left your lips, Sunghoon took it as a clue to add more pressure and suck small spots, careful not to do anything sudden.
One of your hands raised and placed on his forearm, feeling the muscle of his arm, Sunghoon smirked on your skin and detached himself just enough to talk “Do you want to stop?”
You sighed softly and grasped his hair with your other hand, bringing his mouth down on your neck “Keep going.” You said and sunghoon felt as if he was the luckiest man on earth.
His kisses grew hungrier, not leaving even a single spot untouched by his lips. one hand grasped your hair back, bringing it back to have more room while the other groped your breasts from outside the shirt.
You squeezed your thighs together, trying to find relief. “N-no marks.” you said as he sucked a spot for too long, he pulled away and bit his bottom lip, repressing a chuckle “Too late.”
Before you could reply, his lips found yours in a heated and desperate kiss, it was so wrong but it felt too right to stop.
You let your hands slip under his shirt and roam freely, feeling his sculpted chest under your palms, earning a deep groan from sunghoon.
His tongue slipped inside your mouth, he was the one in control of the kiss but you didn’t mind. You just craved to be taken care of.
He pulled away from you and began to lift your shirt up, too eager to feel your whole body— to make you his even if you didn’t belong to him.
He threw the shirt on the floor and widened his eyes as he saw your naked upper body.
Sunghoon stared in trance at you, but it made you feel self conscious and your arms wrapped around your chest.
Sunghoon frowned, taking your hands away “Never,” He murmured, kissing your lips once more “Never cover yourself from me, understand?” You nodded in response “Yes, Hoon.”
He squeezed your tit and lowered his lips to the other one, sucking on your abused nipple “Such pretty tits.” He commented and you unconsciously grind on the sofa, the wetness of your pussy glistening your panties.
He left one breast to pay attention to the other, sucking and flicking his tongue on it, making you whine “Mhhh.. Hoon.” You encouraged him to continue
Sunghoon smirked and looked at you, moving your hips while your eyes were closed and your mouth slightly opened, soft whimpers exiting it.
“Lay down, princess.” He ordered and you complied. His voice was so low and demanding you thought you’d do anything he asked without contemplating anything. Maybe he truly did a spell on you.
His fingers hooked under the hem of your shorts and he looked at your eyes, waiting for your approval. “Don’t ask,”
You said, trusting him and knowing he’d stop if you ever asked, but Aunghoon pecked your lips “Are you sure you want this?” He asked, because no matter how hard he wanted you, he’d never force himself on you.
You nodded, your mind hazy and you body in need to be touched “Yes— I need you, Hoon.” Your soft pleading made blood rush straight to his cock, the visible bulge pocking through his pants.
“Fuck, Y/N.” He groaned and pulled your shorts down, discarding them on the floor “You’ll be the death of me.” He stared at your body like you were a sculpture to admire at a museum, his hand tracing your curves.
“My gorgeous baby,” Sunghoon noticed the wet patch on your panties and smirked widely “So wet for me? We haven’t even started.” He cooed as he tucked the hem down, leaving you completely bare in front of him.
With one finger he gathered your juices and took his digit inside his mouth, humming in approval “Tastes good, so fucking good.”
At such a sight you couldn’t help but let out a small whine “Hoon..” You murmured and his attention immediately snapped back at you “Yes, baby?”
You moved your hips closer to him “Touch me please.” And how could he say no when you asked so politely?
“Want me to touch you?” His finger went down and played with your clit, making you arch your back “Want me to make you feel good, s’that what you want baby?”
He cooed, one finger slipping inside your needy and wet hole, your walls squeezing around it “Fuck, you’re so tight.”
He frowned, working his finger in and out your hole while you moaned under him “Does jake even touch you, uh?” He scoffed
He added another finger, keeping your legs opened with his other hand.
The movements of his fingers inside of you made you see stars, he was so skilled it almost made you forget you had a boyfriend that should do such filthy things to your body.
Not that you cared at that moment, and neither did Sunghoon.
Your hips moved back and forth to match his digits, deep inside of you.
He curled them and caressed your g-spot, making you squeeze your eyes and pant heavily “Faster.” You asked “Please Sunghoon— feels s’good.” His fingers moved faster and faster, the knot in your stomach about to snap when he abruptly pulled away.
You opened your eyes and whined, looking at him with a huge frown which made Sunghoon smile.
You were so cute like that, face all flushed in desperate need to cum “Don’t worry.” He reassured, pulling his sweat and boxers away “Just wanted you to cum all over my cock.”
You smiled but it soon transformed into a huge jaw drop as you saw how big and fat his cock was. it pulsed, angry red and thick, up on his stomach.
Sunghoon chuckled at your reaction, “Too big for you?” He asked, taking your chin in his hands and bringing your face slightly closer to him “Jake isn’t as big as me, is he?”
“That’s… never gonna fit.” You whispered, embarrassed “We’ll see that.” He pulled your head down on the sofa again and he fisted his shaft, your juices that still coated his fingers acting as lube.
He pressed the tip of his dick by your entrance, teasing it “Hurry.” You whined
Sunghoon smirked “Such a needy girl,” He scowled at you and pushed his cock into you in one deep thrust, making you gasp. you felt so stretched, your walls hugging his member, making his eyes roll back “Shit, princess,” He panted “You’re really so tight,” he pushed himself deeper, already bottoming out.
You whined in a mixture of pain and pleasure, gripping the sofa beneath you, Sunghoon noticed you and connected your lips with his, trying to distract you “Relax,” He cooed, one of his hands caressing your forehead with his thumb “It’s all good, you’re doing so well.”
His sweet words made you instantly relax, you looked at him through your teary eyes and he smiled warmly, pecking your lips once more.
He started moving inside of you, slowly at first and when the pain subdued to pleasure, you moaned “S’deep,” You breathed out, gripping his arm.
Sunghoon couldn’t hold back anymore, his hips started moving faster, your skin slapping together as he tsked “Bet he can’t fuck you like i do,”
He circled your clit with his free hand, while his other snuck around your neck, adding small pressure, just enough to make your mind hazy.
He groaned, trying his best not to cum right there as he heard your sweet moans, your tits moving back and forth alongside your body as he pushed his cock so deep he could see the shadow his bulge in your stomach.
“I’m the only one who can fuck you like you deserve,” He kept saying nonsense while you laid under him, the knot in your stomach about to snap.
You nodded at his statement, not registering his words at all “Hoon— s’close, i’m close.” You said, your voice cracked and quiet.
“I know baby,” He circled your clit faster “Can feel you squeeze me— fuck— squeeze my cock.” He threw his head back to move the bangs sticking to his sweaty forehead, revealing an image of every girl’s erotic dream.
He felt your walls squeezing his cock, signalling that you were about to fall apart and so he hurried his movements “Don’t cum yet,” He ordered but you shook your head, unable to resist anymore as you came, your orgasm hitting like a crashing wave, making your body squirm underneath him.
Sunghoon slowed his thrusts but never faltered, he helped you ride out of your high until you were able to open your eyes again, your breath so heavy.
He kissed your lips, holding your chin in his fingers while he resumed his speed, trying to reach his own release
You moaned louder, probably even your neighbours could hear you but Sunghoon pushed you to overstimulation, “Gonna cum, just a little more baby.” He panted, gripping both your hips and rutting inside of you until he pulled out and came all over your chest and body, shots of white seed painting you.
You spread it all over yourself, waiting for him to calm down as the realisation of what you had just done hit both of you.
You exchanged no words but Sunghoon carefully scooped your figure from the sofa and carried you bridal style to the bathroom, making you sit as he prepared you a warm bath.
“Hoon..” you murmured, guilt eating you alive. Sunghoon turned around and saw the state you were in.
Ignoring the hard-on he had again at the sight of you all dirty in his cum, he pressed a featherlight kiss on your forehead “Don’t overthink it,” He said gently “it’ll be alright if he doesn’t know, and you can keep a secret, can’t you?”
Sunghoon asked and you nodded “That’s a good girl.” He pecked your lips but you brought him into a deeper kiss and before you knew, his tongue was inside your mouth again.
He reluctantly pulled away, shaking his head, feeling like he’d be taking advantage of you.
Sunghoon closed the tab of the bath and helped you in, despite your legs that were like jelly, you felt refreshed and happier.
He let go of your hand but you didn’t, keeping it secured in yours. He looked at you with a puzzled expression.
“Get inside.” You beckoned to the bath and he shook his head again “I’ll take a shower later.”
You pouted “Let’s save water.” Your eyes were so soft and glossy he couldn’t help but comply and he entered the bathtub with you.
Nedless to say, you found yourself on his laps, needy grinding against his hard cock as you two made out with the warm water around you both.
Maybe you could do more than that while Jake was away.
⪩⪨
The next morning you woke up to a strange sensation between your thighs, it felt hot but also good, waves of pleasure rushing through your body.
You slowly opened your eyes and looked down, seeing a ruffled head buried between your legs, two strong hands pinning you down the bed.
“Hoon..” You breathed out, your mind still hazy and eyes too heavy to keep open.
Sunghoon momentarily detached himself from your cunt, your wetness coating his chin “Mh, hey princess.” He smiled as if he wasn’t eating you out for breakfast “Just relax, let me take care of you.”
You already weak heart melted at his statement and you just nodded, resting your head back on the pillow while Sunghoon flicked his tongue on your tongue, stimulating it with his fingers as well.
You closed your eyes and placed one hand behind sunghoon’s head, grasping his hair, trying to bring him closer, needing him closer.
The phone on your bedside table started ringing, making you take it and frustratedly checking who was ruining your moment.
You would’ve jerked away if it wasn’t for Sunghoon’s grip at the sight of Jake’s contact name “It’s Jake.” You half-whispered, half-screamed, trying to pull Sunghoon’s head away from your pussy.
He reluctantly let go and nodded “Answer.” Though his tone said that was the last thing he wanted you to do. With shaky hands, you took the call and placed the phone beside your ear “Hello?”
“Y/N, hi… it’s morning there, did I wake you up?” Jake’s voice seemed to foreign to your ears it felt strange at first; as you were about to reply, Sunghoon’s lips attached to your pussy once more, making you gasp.
“You good?” Jake asked from the other line, worry lacing his tone “All good!” You exclaimed, a little too high pitched.
No matter how hard you grasped Sunghoon’s hair, the man was not going to pull away from your pussy and the way he pinned you more down on the bed confirmed your thoughts.
Instead, you bit your bottom lip and tried your best not to give away the pleasure your boyfriend’s best friend was giving you. “Listen, I'm so sorry.” You frowned, confused “What are you sorry for?”
A whimper died down your throat when Jake answered “How I left things, I shouldn’t have ignored your texts..” He sighed softly “I was just mad, I needed some time alone, but it isn’t an excuse.”
No, it wasn’t, but you had forgotten about the fight thanks to Sunghoon’s magic bed skills, so you just shrugged it off.
“I understand.” You breathed out as Sunghoon inserted a finger into your sticky walls, fingering you while his tongue worked on your clit.
Jake sighed at your answer “I said hurtful things to you, can you forgive me?” You moved your hips, fucking yourself on sunghoon’s tongue, earning a hum of approval that sent waves through your body.
“Yes,” you replied, though you didn’t know if it was meant for Jake’s question or to incite Sunghoon in his act “Really?”
Jake’s voice sounded surprised, you usually took things personally, so why brush it all off? He wasn’t going to complain, though.
“How are things going there?” He asked “Alright,” You murmured, Sunghoon’s skilled tongue making you see stars.
“There?” You managed to ask without letting your voice shake when Sunghoon added a second digit inside of you, curling them like he had already memorised where your sweet spot was.
And he probably did.
“Well.” Jake chuckled “But I miss you so much,” You felt a pang of guilt, because since Sunghoon occupied your daily life, your mind had started to drift toward Jake less.
“Miss you too,” You whispered, your words making Sunghoon’s fingers move faster. You bit down on your fist to prevent yourself from making unwanted noises.
You heard a second voice from the other line but couldn’t quite understand what it said, and then Jake sighed sadly “I have to go baby, I'll text you when I finish this meeting.”
You hummed, your back arching “I love you.” Jake said sweetly and you answered with a quick “Me too.” Before hanging up, throwing the phone on the mattress.
You pulled sunghoon’s head away and pushed it on the bed, strangely he let you do it, not fighting you.
He laid on the bed while you crawled on top of him, hovering just above his face “You’re so hot when you’re pissed.” he teased, knowing that you would’ve been anxious about being discovered.
That was what added the thrill to Sunghoon, it would be boring otherwise.
“Shut up,” You shushed, lowering yourself on his lips and gripping his hair, pulling his lips on your pussy, the sweet sensation appearing again.
You bucked your hips down, riding his face while you moaned, trying to reach your orgasm.
Sunghoon’s tongue found your entrance, fucking your hole, drinking all your wetness like you were his last meal.
On other occasions you would've been scared of choking him, but with the pre-orgasm bliss, your selfishness appeared and you just worried about cumming.
His nose poked your clit, his tongue fucking in and out and his hums of approval to let you know that he was, at least, still breathing made you reach your high, legs shaking.
He helped you ride out of your orgasm, your breath still hard as you laid down on the bed again, chest raising up and down.
He sat up and kissed your lips, tasting your cum on his tongue “Morning, Y/N.” He murmured in a hoarse voice.
“Morning, Sunghoon.” It was the same thing you two had been telling each other for a week, only this time, it meant so much more.
⪩⪨
“Let me see them, come here.” He demanded as you two got home from your nail salon appointment, which he insisted on paying.
You smiled widely and walked closer to the sofa where he was sitting — or rather, manspreading — and happily showed him your pinkish nails.
“I love them.” You confessed, the small brush of Sunghoon’s thumb on your knuckles making your breath hitch “Pretty nails for a pretty girl.” He smirked when he noticed the effect he had on you.
Sunghoon was no innocent man, despite his shy appearance.
When he said he’d do anything for you, he meant it, even betray his best friend for you.
Maybe you didn’t want to dump him because Jake was, in fact, a good boyfriend if you didn’t count the bad moments you had together.
But Sunghoon was better than him, and he was planning on showing you.
He let go of your hand and patted his lap, beckoning you to sit on it.
Complying, you straddled him and wrapped your arms around his neck “But you didn’t have to pay for them.” You murmured, feeling guilty that he spent so much for you, along with the necklace and earrings he bought you as a gift
“Shhh,” He hushed you, pressing a finger on your lips, brushing his thumb over your bottom one.
“I want to spoil you baby, you deserve it.” His voice was barely a whisper, so deep and husky.
Your lips hitched with the urge you had to put them on his, kissing until you grew sick of it— but you couldn’t.
“Actually,” You mumbled and pulled away, just enough to resist your deepest thoughts “I don’t want to send you away, but Jake wanted to FaceTime me,” You gulped, fidgeting with his shirt
Sunghoon tilted his head, his hands securing around your waist, protectively keeping you close “So?”
“So, I thought it’d be better if he didn’t see you here.” You added, nodding at your own statement
Sunghoon frowned, “I can hide in the bathroom until you’re done.”
“Hoon— you’ve been sleeping here for four days..” His jaw ticked “Am I bothering you?”
You were quick to shake your head “No, never.” You bit your bottom lip, afraid to voice out your feelings since that useless argument you had with Jake
He sighed softly and took your chin in his fingers, making you look inside his eyes “What’s wrong, baby?” He asked, holding you so gently you thought you’d shatter right there and he’d be able to pick up all your pieces
“I—“ You shook your head, but Sunghoon’s grip tightened on your chin “Tell me.” He demanded, not harshly.
“I just… I don’t think Jake would like it if he knew about this and I feel so guilty.” Sunghoon felt his anger rise, because he wanted to tell you that your relationship was more off than on, he wanted to tell you to just break up with Jake and live with him, spend your day tucked under his protections so that no one could hurt you anymore.
But, you weren’t his and he couldn’t do anything about it… yet.
“What we’re doing isn’t bad, alright?” He tried to sooth your worry “We’re just two adults trying to satisfy each other’s needs,” Sunghoon licked his bottom lip, looking at your glossy and innocent eyes made his dick harden inside his jeans.
“And I want to take care of you..” He whispered, his hand slipping under your shirt, groping your breasts, earning a small whimper from you “Will you let me?”
Were the necklace and earrings he gave you cursed? Because no matter how much you knew this was wrong, you only craved for more.
“Yes,” You whispered, “I want to make you feel good too.” Sunghoon’s eyes softened, you were so cute and innocent and so his to ruin “Is that so, princess?” You nodded in response
“Want to make me feel good?” You hummed and Sunghoon got close to your ear, purring “Get on your knees.”
You complied right away, climbing down his laps and placing yourself between his legs “Need those pretty hands around my cock,” He said and you unzipped his jeans, palming his already hard length through the fabric
“Do you know how to give a blow?” He scoffed, almost being degrading “I bet Jake couldn’t even teach you properly.” Sunghoon caressed the side of your cheek and then his hand gripped your hair, pulling your head toward his hips “Hurry up, sweetheart.”
Not wanting to make him wait, you quickly pulled the hem of his boxers down and let them fall to his ankles.
His cock sprung free, veiny and thick, you let your tongue trace it, giving kitten licks to the tip.
Sunghoon groaned, holding your hair up to a semi-ponytail so they wouldn’t bother you.
You circled your tongue all over the tip, tasting his bittersweet precum.
“Stop teasing.” he warned, pulling your hair back and looking into your eyes, his tone softening, “Understood, baby?” You nodded in approval and took him whole inside your mouth in one swift movement, his long shaft hitting the back of your throat, making you gag.
He ard your slight gag but the sensation of your warm mouth wrapped around him was enough to cloud his mind. you bobbed your head back and forth, filthy sounds filling the room.
“Shit princess, you feel so good.” He groaned “Mh— could just cum right here.” His praising fuelled your confidence, so you gripped both his hips and moved your head faster, trying to provide him pleasure
You palmed his balls as well, gripping them gently as Sunghoon let out a low moan, throwing his head back on the headboard on the sofa.
You spied him from your eyelashes, he looked like the epitome of erotic: mouth hanging open, eyebrows furrowed and eyes squeezed shut.
He pushed your mouth further, trying to bottom out when your phone started ringing. You got distracted, looking to the side, about to pull away as you knew it was Jake.
“Don’t you dare.” Sunghoon groaned, standing up and pushing his cock deep inside your throat, you gagged, it being too big to fit.
You tried to push him away to catch your breath but Sunghoon didn’t seem to care. Only when he saw your teary eyes did he give you the chance to breathe.
You panted heavily, spit rolling down your cheeks and wetting your shirt.
Your ringtone started once again and Sunghoon watched you wild his eyes, he took your chin in his hands and raised a brow “You going to answer?”
Your eyes were glossy and the tip of your nose red, you shook your head in reply “That’s what I thought.” he smirked and yanked you by your hair, snatching them to push his fat cock inside your mouth once again.
The way you were just staring at him with those eyes made him grin, the sweat dripping down his forehead added a small spark to the whole situation.
Your phone rang once more and he let out an annoyed groan, taking it in his hands “Maybe I should just show your boyfriend what you’re doing right now, uh?” You panicked and shook your head, trying to pull away from him.
“Keep sucking,” he warned, maintaining his grip on your hair. He showed your phone screen to you, Jake’s contact name appearing before your eyes.
You murmured, trying to tell him not to do anything reckless but that only sent waves of pleasure to his length.
“Shit Y/N.” he panted, throwing your phone back on the sofa, not caring about its ringtone anymore.
“Always ruining the moment, that fucker.” He murmured, holding your head with both his hands and pushing his dick in and out your warm and went mouth
“I’m so close baby,” You nodded, dropping your arms on your side and letting him do what he needed to reach his high. His moans were low, more like growls which made the wetness between your legs grow more uncomfortable as time passed.
You liked when he acted so possessive, when he acted like you belonged to him.
You wished you did.
“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.” He chanted, eyes rolling back “Such a good girl for me,” He groaned once more, pushing one last time, deeper until released his seed inside your mouth.
He took deep breaths, trying to calm down “Swallow.” Sunghoon ordered, his eyes so dark and red.
You gulped down and then stuck out your tongue to show him that no trace of his cum was left “Good girl.” He smiled, helping you up.
He helped you up and was about to pull your body closer when you shook your head “What’s wrong?” He asked, confused at your sudden coldness
You glanced at your phone on the sofa and smiled faintly “I think I should call Jake back.” You took it and bit your bottom lip, “I’ll be back later.”
You didn’t spare Sunghoon a glance and just disappeared in your bedroom, closing the door behind your back, leaving Sunghoon in the living room with the realisation that your heart still belonged to Jake.
⪩⪨
Jake was a total asshole. He had always known that, but realisation hit him the moment he saw you coming out of that room bawling your eyes out.
Despite not wanting to tell him, he had a feeling it meant Jake’s foul mouth said things he shouldn’t have.
And as he rocked you to sleep, whispering sweet nothings while gently caressing your body, he was more than determined to take you away.
What made it worse was that you took your time to clean the drool from your cheeks, combed your tangled hair and even put some mascara on to be pretty.
Jake didn’t even consider that, or didn’t try to think how happy you’d be to talk to him and harshly destroyed your mood.
The next morning you woke up feeling groggy, your eyes were puffy and tear stains lined down your cheeks.
You looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed, trying to fix the damage that was your appearance.
After washing your face and doing your needs, you exited the bathroom thinking you’d be alone and mentally preparing to make something for yourself to eat when you came across a tall male figure cooking.
You stopped in your tracks, eyes wide as you drank him in. Sunghoon was toasting something with the pan, his forearms flexing as he twisted the bread.
He was quietly humming a melody, quiet enough not to wake you up, the smell of caramel and first loves filling the air.
You felt a sudden peace of mind, dreaming about waking up like this every day, lazy sunday mornings spent in, cuddling and just being with each other.
Your dream was crushed when you remembered you actually had someone to do that with you, and he wasn’t Sunghoon.
You walked towards him and hugged his waist, your small arms wrapped around his toned torso. He stiffed for a second before realising it was you “Morning sleepyhead.”
“Morning Hoon.” You said back, snuggling your face closer to his back. He turned off the stove and turned around, his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling your body closer
“Slept well?” Sunghoon asked, placing the palm of his hand on your cheek, his thumb giving it gentle strokes.
The way he talked and looked had you so weak and vulnerable and the only place you wanted to be in was the space between his arms, pressed in so close and so tight.
“Yes, thanks to you.” You gave him a sincere smile. His lips twitch up into a smile and you can feel the warmth of his gaze on your face.
He shook his head and placed a featherlight kiss on your head “I did nothing, really.” He did what Jake should’ve done, instead he chose to be the reason for your hurting.
You were about to answer when he held your waist tightly and placed you to sit on the kitchen counter, you blinked faintly in confusion. Sunghoon smiled and pecked your nose “Breakfast will be done soon.” He announced, winking at you.
He turned back to the stove and placed the toasts on a small plate; he walked to the fridge and took some jam along with butter.
You followed all his movements with your gaze, noticing how his muscles twitched at his every movement. He was wearing a t-shirt that was supposed to be Jake’s, though you had to admit it looked way better on Sunghoon. You shook your head, getting rid of those (not so) untrue allegations.
Sunghoon finished making the toasts and turned towards you, his fang smile so addictive. “Are you hungry?” He asked “I made toast and found strawberries in the fridge.”
“I think you’d like to eat something else.” You murmured, voice still hoarse from sleeping.
Sunghoon’s gaze darkened as he registered your words, placing himself between your legs “And what is it?” He questioned, face so close to yours you could feel his hot breath hitting your skin
With one hand you held yourself on the counter and wrapped the other around Sunghoon’s neck.
You two had only four more days together, and you chose to make the best of them.
You’d deal with Jake when he came back and could talk face to face.
“I have a perfect meal for you.” You smirked, looking down at your lower body. Sunghoon let out a soft sigh, his bulge already poking from his shorts “My favourite.”
His palm traced all the way from your breasts, down to your stomach and hem of the shorts.
He slipped one finger inside and cursed under his breath when he realised you were wearing no underwear
You chuckled at his reactions and Sunghoon attacked your lips with his, sucking on your bottom lip, making you squirm.
He squeezed your breasts and simultaneously played with your clit, touching you in only ways he could.
He detached his lips from yours and lowered himself, kneeling in front of you.
He kissed your clothed core, smelling the scent of you, so addicting.
You felt your pussy clench around nothing, the usual warm feeling building inside your body.
You looked down at Sunghoon with pleading eyes and he was more than happy to satisfy you “On it, baby.” He licked his lips as he pulled your shorts down, the cold air of the room hitting your sensitive skin, making you shiver.
Sunghoon placed kitten kisses all over your thighs, so close to where you needed him but not exactly there.
“Hoon.. please.” You whined, pulling him by his hair closer to your core. Sunghoon flicked his tongue on your clit, making you gasp out.
He continued to lick your pussy like a popsicle, his skilled tongue brushing against your shaven mound, making your head hazy.
Your breath grew heavy and you couldn’t help but throw your head back, desperately pushing Sunghoon closer, trying to find satisfaction.
Sunghoon rewarded your bravery by inserting one finger inside your hole, brushing it against your g-spot “Fuck— Hoon, yes” You moaned out
“Pussy tastes so good.” he purred, diving again between your thighs “All mine, this is all mine, got it?” in your blissful state you nodded your head in reply, bucking your hips to meet his movements
As Sunghoon’s fingers kept brushing against a certain spot that had your eyes roll back, you felt something snap inside of you and liquid spurred out of your pussy.
You widened your eyes, looking down at him with an apologetic look.
“I— I’m sorry.” You said, taking in the sight of said liquid dripping down Sunghoon’s chin and having wetted his shirt.
Sunghoon, on the other hand, seemed to be on cloud 9 “That was so hot, Y/N.” He said with sparkling eyes “Squirt on me again baby, please.”
He was really pussy drunk, drinking all your juices, fucking you with his tongue and fingers.
He raised himself on his feet and brought you into a sloppy and messy kiss, you could taste yourself on his lips.
His painful clothed bulge pressed against your core, rubbing against it.
Sunghoon made his shorts and boxers fall down to his ankles and rubbed his red tip on your wet folds, gathering your sweet juices.
He pushed his thick cock inside you and your breath hitched, its length still something you weren’t used to.
You propped yourself on your elbows and took deep breaths, trying to distract yourself from the burning stretch.
Sunghoon moved slowly, rubbing your clit to make you even wetter so that he could slip in and out without hurting you.
He held your face with one hand, his thumb inside your thumb while you sucked on it “You’re so dirty.” he smirked “My dirty girl.” He got close to your face and hurried his thrusts
“Tell me baby— shit— you mine, uh?” He asked, voice husky
“I’m not y-yours.” Ah, wrong answer. He stilled his movements, looking down at you with a raised brow “Not mine?” He scoffed, “Then you don’t deserve to cum.”
You felt him pull out and panicked, gripping his forearm desperately “No!” You exclaimed “Please Hoon.”
He gave one deep thrust, making you whimper “What did you say?” You blinked faintly “Please..” He shook his head “Nah ah.”
You sighed “I’m yours, Hoon.” His lips twitched into a sly smirk “Good girl.” Sunghoon praised as he gripped your waist.
You raised your top just enough to let your breasts run free and squeezed your nipple, stimulating your body.
Sunghoon joined you and squeezed the other one, bringing his lips down to circle it and send waves of pleasure through your body.
Sunghoon took hold of your hips, raising you from the counter while your hands were still gripping it, moving your lower body to meet his in quick and deep thrusts.
“Fuck, get down.” he helped you down the counter and manhandled you, turning you as he pleased.
He took your arms and hooked them around one of his, your back pressed against his chest.
Sunghoon entered your body once more, his movements so fast. You clenched around him, your moans so loud.
“You were made for me.” He groaned in your ear, kissing your shoulder “Mine to fuck, mine to own, mine to love.”
You felt the knot in your stomach tighten, crying out in pleasure “S-sunghoon.” He breathed out “I know baby,” the speed of his thrusts hurried, rutting inside of you as he hit the sweet spot “Cum for me.”
At his words your eyes rolled at the back of your head, mouth agape as you came apart on his cock.
He looked down, the white circle forming around his shaft, almost making him cum as well on spot.
Your legs started shaking, his thrusts never faltering even as you squirmed in his grip. He circled your clit with one hand, your eyes getting watery.
“Shh,” He soothed, letting go of your arms to make you stabilise yourself by gripping the counter; his hands grasped your hips, grip so tight it would probably leave marks by the next day as he thrusted inside of you, trying to reach his release.
“I’m gonna cum,” Sunghoon panted, the speed of his movements increasing even more “Inside—“ You choked out “Cum inside me.” Your words made him release his seed right there, coating your clenching walls with his warm cum.
He hugged your back, lips brushing against your shoulders as he fucked his cum right back into you, not wanting a single drop to fall out.
He raised from your figure but still not pulling out, turning your head by your chin and connecting your lips.
The kiss was sloppy and uncomfortable due to the position, but it held so many feelings it made you melt.
Sunghoon’s fingertips caressed your stomach, holding you close while gentle thrusts kept uniting your bodies “You begging me to cum inside really did something to me, pretty girl.” He chuckled, kissing your jawline.
“Fortunately,” You started, still out of breath “I’m on the pill. Sunghoon chuckled huskily, “I wouldn’t have minded even if you weren’t.”
He pulled out, drops of his cum running down your thighs. He turned you around and kissed you deeply once more “Let’s get you cleaned up, then we can eat.”
You gave him a weak smile, you were sticky and sweaty, probably your hair was also messed up, but Sunghoon still looked at you like you were the most beautiful person in the world. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
He kissed the tip of your nose and chuckled “I’m taking you out for the night, so prepare that dress I bought you.” Euphoria took over your face as you nodded happily “Thank you, Hoon.”
“I already told you I’d do anything for you.”
⪩⪨
You were putting the earrings he had bought you, the crimson dress hugging your body.
You stood in front of the full-length mirror inside your room, trying your best not to poke another hole in your ear.
You felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around your waist, Sunghoon’s head snuggled in the crook of his neck. The familiar cologne filled your nostrils, bringing a sense of peacefulness inside you.
Sunghoon kissed the back of your shoulder, his arms bringing you to his body. You felt his erections pressing between your ass cheeks, making you chuckle “You’re gorgeous.” He whispered in your ear, his kisses raising toward your jaw
You let out a shaky breath as he started slowly grinding against your ass “Hoon… We have a reservation.” You cleared your throat, trying not to think at the wetness between your legs
“So?” His voice was so low it made you shiver in his embrace. His hands moved towards your breasts, squeezing them from outside the fabric of your dress. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”
You shook your head “We’re going to be late.” He pressed your lower body even closer to his, rutting his clothes cock on your ass “Please baby…” He groaned, “I’m so hard it hurts.”
His eyes locked with your from the mirror and you couldn’t deny him when he looked so desperate for you.
You loved it, you loved the way he seemed to be so obsessed with you.
You nodded “Alright.” He didn’t waste time and flicked your skirt up, pushing his pants and boxers down and pushing your panties to the side. As his cock sprung free, you could feel it rubbing against you, so hot and hard.
He took your arms and held them in his hand, rubbing your folds with his shaft with the other. With one swift movement, he entered you, moving fast already.
Your moans were music to his ear and the sight of you rolling your eyes from the full-length mirror made his cock twitch inside of you.
Sunghoon groaned, sweat coating his forehead as he sped up, letting go of your arms to grip your hips and use your body as he pleased.
You put one hand behind his head and pressed yourself closer to him, your back tightly against his chest.
“My perfect girl,” He chanted, biting his bottom lip, trying his best not to cum just there “This pussy was made for me, uh?”
His heavy breath sent shivers through all your body, the sweet feeling of his dick bottoming out, hitting your cervix repeatedly made your legs shake.
“Close already?” He asked, the sound of skin slapping and the wet sounds from your cunt filling the room “Y-yes.” You managed to say, the feeling of euphoria approaching you.
“Fuck— me too.” He let out a few breaths, hurrying his speeds “Let’s cum together baby,” Sunghoon hugged your body from behind, spooning you while standing up as he rutted fast your abused pussy
“You’ll let me cum inside, right?” You nodded your head, “Please.” You breathed out “Want you to fill me up.”
Your words were enough for Sunghoon to empty his load inside of you, your own hand went down to circle your clit and you came right with him.
Your walls pulsed around him and his cock twitched, with slow and deep thrusts. He kissed the back of your shoulder, his breath calming down.
“You did amazing,” He whispered, pulling out and covering your folds with your underwear.
He pulled his pants and boxers up and pulled you by your waist, kissing you hungrily “Now, you’re going to dinner with my cum inside,” He murmured on your lips “And after we come home I’ll fuck it right back, filling you up again.”
You were still dazed from your orgasm, or maybe it was the spell he gave you, because all you could manage to do was nod blissfully. Sunghoon’s plan was indeed working.
⪩⪨
Saying that you two had been fucking like two rabbits was an understatement.
Sunghoon took you in the kitchen again, then on the sofa, in the bathtub and so many times in the bedroom.
Like now, you had the insane idea to blow him around three am, the day before Jake was coming home.
Nobody could blame you, though, because the way he was sleeping with his lips open, bare chested and hands ruffled turned you so on you wanted to give him the sloppiest and messiest head of his life. And so you did.
Sunghoon was now cuddling with you, his fingertips brushing against your sensitive skin, the quiet of the night too comfortable as you laid in his embrace.
His breath was even and soft, his body heat should’ve been bothering you since you were in July but it only made you seek more. Maybe it was the fact that the day before, it would be gone forever.
“Hoon?” you asked, tone gentle “Hmm?” he murmured sleepily, sniffling his head closer to your shoulder
You stayed silent for a couple of seconds, trying to gather your thoughts “When tomorrow comes, can you give me some time alone?”
Sunghoon frowned “What?” You gulped, looking down at him, smelling your shampoo scent in his hair. “I need some time to figure things out.”
Sunghoon was scared to feel hopeful by your words, he still said “Figure what?”
“My feelings.” You answered, sighing softly “It’s just that, I’ve never felt so happy like when I’m with you.” At those words, he raised his head, his tired dark eyes meeting yours
“With Jake, everything feels on autopilot, we just live our lives as if we were two roommates.” He caressed your shoulder, letting you know that he was with you, that he had got you
“But with you— you made me rediscover how love feels like, how it feels to be someone’s first choice.”
“Y/N..” He whispered, feeling a sudden urge to protect you “But I’m saying this after spending basically one month without my boyfriend.” Hearing you utter those two words felt like a punch in the stomach, even though you were just stating the truth.
Sunghoon had just been a replacement for you, something to fill the void created by Jake.
“I need to see it for myself if I really have no feelings left for him or if..” He interrupted you before you could finish “I understand.”
You blinked faintly, “You do?” Sunghoon nodded, a smile forming on his lips “Of course, I’ll wait for you and understand if you choose to be with Jake.”
Your eyes sparkled at his words, he was so gentle despite the fact that his heart was breaking.
But that wouldn’t happen, because as he held you close to him, he knew his spell had worked.
No matter how much you tried, you wouldn’t be able to get away from him.
“I’ll always be there for you.” No matter how many times he repeated it, you always felt the sincerity of his words.
⪩⪨
“I’m back.” Jake announced, entering the front door with his huge luggage “Y/N?” He asked, walking into the living room
“Hey,” You smiled, reaching him “Welcome back.” Jake smiled wrapped his arms around you “How is my love?” He asked rather happily
“Layla’s alright, I think.” Your answer sounded harsh, still not fully having forgiven him for the horrible things he said on FaceTime.
Jake frowned, knowing his sins “I’m so sorry, baby.” You sighed, pulling away from his embrace “I know.” You just said and took his luggage “I’ll put the dirty clothes in the laundry.”
Everything went smoothly, he had talked to you all about his journey, how awesome Los Angeles was, everyone was so kind and supportive towards him. And, not a single question on how you had been the past two weeks.
Shaking the feeling off and trying not to think about Sunghoon anytime Jake brushed his fingers against your skin, you successfully managed to get through three days.
What you told Sunghoon was true, your life went on autopilot when you were with Jake.
You woke up, went to work, did the chores and then went to sleep. You barely spoke to each other and the awkward silence in the house was always present.
“Baby?” He asked while you were cooking by the gas stoves, you hummed in response, not turning around.
“Since when did you buy all those jewellery and clothes?” He raised a brow, leaning against the counter “They’re pretty expensive, they’re from Pandora.”
“Oh?” You turned around and looked at the jewel case in his hands, trying to suppress a smile at the memory of Sunghoon buying you all the things you liked. Honestly, you wouldn’t even care if he had bought you diamonds or just paper rings, you’d take anything he’d give you.
“I liked them, so I bought them.” You shrugged, turning back to stir the soup inside the pot
“You’re so rich you can buy anything you want now?” He scoffed, placing the jewel case on the table and crossing his arms.
You stopped in your tracks, raising a brow “What?” Jake clicked his tongue “Did you pay the rent?” You nodded “Of course I did, last week.”
He let out a satisfied sound “What about the car insurance?” Now did you turn around and stared at him in disbelief “It’s your car, I’m not going to pay for you.”
Jake sighed “Come on baby, I’ve spent all my money on the trip.” You narrowed your eyes, dots collecting inside your brain “It’s a business trip, the company should’ve paid for you.”
Jake widened his eyes, stuttering “I— I meant the food and…” He trailed off. You weren’t going to buy it, you didn’t want to hear his excuses anymore.
“I don’t care, it’s your car. I don’t use it.” You informed, cleaning your hands in the apron and crossing them on your chest “But I’m your boyfriend.”
Your brows furrowed at his statement “Only when you want to.” Jake rolled his eyes “Here you go again.” He ran a hand through his hair “Could you stop being so over dramatic?”
“Oh, so now I’m over dramatic.” You said sarcastically “Yes! Yes you are.” He snapped
You didn’t flinch or look away this time, you weren’t going to show your weak side. Jake always took advantage of it, and you weren’t going to let him.
“Sunghoon was right.” You murmured and Jake’s head snapped back toward you “What?”
“You’re an asshole.” You narrowed your eyes but Jake just dismissed your “Yeah, ok. What about Sunghoon?”
“I’ve spent a lot of time with him lately,” Jake laughed at your statement, seeming genuinely thrilled at your information “You and that weirdo?”
Your mouth hung open “What did you say about him? He’s your best friend.”
Jake tsked, “That’s what he thinks. He was a loner and I just talked to him. He has stuck with me since then and I’m growing pretty sick of it.”
“How dare you talk about him like that?” Jake’s brow raised “Why do you care?”
“Because he is ten times better than you.” Jake chuckled again “Oh, he is? Baby, I’m better than him or you would’ve been his girlfriend by now.”
He leaned back against the counter “And what have you two been doing, eh? Reading books? Watching corny films? Playing table games?”
“Sex.” You replied, your tone monotone, having had enough of his bullshits. His chuckle died and he frowned, looking up at you.
“You heard me, I slept with Sunghoon.” His jaw dropped, anger building inside of him “So you just go around and act like a slut? Is that what you do when I’m not home?”
“Don’t you dare call me a slut.” You snapped, your voice raising for the first time in three years “You cheated on me, Y/N. When were you going to tell me?”
“I needed a few days to figure my feelings out, and thank you for making me realise how much of an asshole you are.”
Jake scoffed “You're the one who slept with another man when you’re supposed to be my girlfriend.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry for cheating.” His face held some victorious feelings that quickly died as you added “Because I should’ve dumped you before.”
“And that’s what I’m doing right now, Sim Jaeyun, I’m breaking up with you.”
“You can’t do that.” His face filled with anger, but no regret could be found.
You were glad you opened your eyes before you were stuck with him “You’ve sucked my happiness out, you took the life out of me. Now I’m going to take it back.” You took off the apron, throwing it at his chest “I’ll come and get my things tomorrow.”
You heard him throwing other harsh words to you, but you didn’t care. You didn’t even wear your shoes, just ran out of your old apartment in slippers, towards the only place you knew would always have space for you.
⪩⪨
“Don’t shoot me!” Sunghoon was playing with his friends at a video game, the sound of keyboard taps filled the whole house along with his shouting.
It was strange his neighbours hadn’t come to complain already.
“At your back!” Jay informed him, Sunghoon was taking the aim to kill the enemy but his doorbell ringing distracted him, making his shoot pointless. “Shit man, I think it’s Miss Choi again.”
Jay snorted, “Alright, go deal with her.” The friends exchanged goodbyes and Sunghoon got up, the doorbell kept ringing, making Sunghoon groan
“Here, Here.” He sighed as he opened the door only to widen his eyes when he realised it was you in front of him— not his neighbour.
“Y/N—“ He couldn’t even finish saying your name when you threw yourself on him, lips meeting his. Sunghoon was taken aback at first but soon enough kissed you back, your lips touching and moving together.
You pulled away, panting heavily “What are you doing here?” He asked, taking in the sight of you.
Home clothes, slippers on and heavy breaths…
“Did you run here?” You took several deep breaths before speaking “I’m so sorry I made you wait.” Sunghoon blinked faintly at your sudden apologies
“Why are you—“ You shook your head “Please let me finish first.”
Sunghoon nodded slowly, waiting for you to continue. “When I first met Jake, I had never experienced love, so I thought what he did was normal…” You recalled in your mind all the times he and treated you unfairly for a span of three years and shivered
“But you made me realise how love actually feels, and I want to learn all the other forms it comes with.” You looked up at his eyes “He called you names and said he’d only been your friend for pity.”
You continued “I just wanted you to know that you are not pitiful, in fact, you're the best person I’ve ever met. Please, don’t listen to him.”
Sunghoon couldn’t care less about Jake’s opinion about him. But a small smile appeared on his face at the way you seemed to be so annoyed by the fact that he had insulted him.
“You defended me?” He asked softly, and you nodded as if it was the most obvious answer “I also dumped his unworthy ass.”
Sunghoon’s brows shot up in surprise and a smirk crept on his lips “That’s my girl.”
He brought his arms around your waist, pressing your body on his “I want to make it right, Sunghoon, I want to be happy and I want you.” You bit your bottom lip “If you want me too?”
Sunghoon chuckled and twirled you in the air, your giggles filling his usual lonely apartment “I’ve always wanted you, from the first day I saw you, I knew you were the one.”
His answer surprised you, “You liked me?” Sunghoon booped your nose, you looked so cute, all rebel wannabe just for your insecurities to stop you again “I think I love you.”
Your breath hitched, those words leaving his lips made you feel so warm on the inside, your heart skipping so many beats you weren’t sure it was still working “I think I love you too.”
Sunghoon kissed you deeply, his tongue entering your mouth as he claimed you, finally able to call you his.
You pulled away and chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck.
You tilted your head, tone flirty “So.. You’ll let me stay for the night?” Sunghoon secured your waist in his grasp “I’ll let you stay forever.”
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