#i hate this world I hate people I hate society I hate the goverment I hate everything I hate myself I hate this and that

[nooooough]

>:(

[wildannise]

About Hazelwood Hollow

I'm a queer artist. I've posted previously mostly on Instagram, as @ witchhazel_draws, but I'm becoming more and more invested in finding alt platforms to post on. I don't really share about myself or my life much - I value my privacy and the privacy of my loved ones. So the main thing I post about is artwork for a fantasy story I'm writing, so I thought I'd share about that.

The story is tentatively called Hazelwood Hollow and is mostly inspired by period films I watched as a child, particularly Jane Austen films, Charles Dickens miniseries, the original Newsies film, and an obscure adaptation of les miserables without music.

My story is essentially a bildungsroman/coming of age story set in a pseudo-victorian society with magic and witches. It begins much like David Copperfield with a young amab protagonist who lives isolated in a rural setting with a hated father figure and a beloved mother, and ends up as a child laborer in a city factory - but after hitting rock bottom the young protagonist comes out as a trans woman and names herself Artemis and moves to a cottage in the country with a group of witches and becomes a cottagecore lesbian. The only catch is that magic is pointlessly gendered in this society and "boys" aren't allowed to be witches. And people from Artemis's childhood who have become powerful in this society are intent on finding her, and so harsh reality breaks in on this idyllic fantasy. She and he found family seek shelter among a colony of witch witch outlaws and pirates who are plotting a revolution against the largely non- magic government.

The story is very interested in exploring how power dynamics exists within societies and how even literal witches with magic powers could be held back by unfair power dynamics on a broad social level. A big aspect of the premise is "what if witch hunters stopped trying to hunt down and kill witches and instead exploited them for their labor?" The story is also about how gender is constructed and enforced, and why gendered magic systems are flawed and unrealistic.

A big piece of lore within the story is the history and origin of two alchemical metals that the non magic government uses to regulate witches: witch-silver that can be used to make potent magic weapons originally used to hunt down witches, and witch-iron that negates magic in its vicinity and can permanently strip a witch of magic, used to hold witch prisoners (though it is witches who work for the goverment who actually capture witch criminals these days). These 2 metals are not just useful to the heirarchy, they are central to cultural ideologies. They are considered to represent the masculine and feminine energies of the universe itself and be the basis for all matter.

Magic is coded as feminine in this universe and regarded as submitting to the raw powers of nature - a thing considered dangerous and leading easily to corruption. The common belief is that "men" are naturally without magic so that they can guide, control, and contain the wild and corruptible magic of "women." In truth, magic is simply rarer in male identifying people, but this is only true since witch iron was discovered a few thousand years ago - due to complex factors that are explored in the story. And all magic is rarer since then in general, too. But magic can be found in any gender and cultivated to a potent level in most people who show interest in it. All of which are things the rebels in the story explore and discuss and which drives them to rebel against the powers that be. My protagonist gets caught up on it all and comes to have a more complex and nuanced understanding of the world, but one that drives them to also become a revolutionary alongside them.

Here's some art of Artemis, who becomes a potion witch after coming out as trans.

And here's her love interest and eventual partner, Juniper Gardner, a plant witch. And here's also the cottage they live in with Juniper's older sister and a couple others.

The cottage is called Hazelwood Hollow (HH), which is where the name of the story comes from. For much of the later story Artemis sees HH as the ultimate goal: the opportunity to get back to her idyllic life that she had before... with everything going back to the way things were. But by the end of the story she becomes less invested in the actual cottage and more invested in the community and sense of belonging she found there and wishes to bring that kind of happiness to all members of society - esp when the revolution proves less effective in the long run, she and her partner and found family use their cottage and resources to support trans youth and witches in societies that are still hostile to magic.

[josephinevalor]

Jane Eyre

By: Charlotte Bronte 

Pages: 691 

Jane Eyre (Character):

I absolutely loved her. She is assertive, stands up for herself but in a way that’s appropriate for the time period, independent, grateful, and hard working. She also struggles and succeeds in having a degree of autonomy, independence, and self-determination in an overwhelmingly patriarchal society. To an extent, I identify with her.  And her struggles show how far women's rights have come but also how far they still have left to go.

Writing Style:

Surprisingly, it flows nicely and I didn't had any trouble understanding it. I also loved how poetic it was. After a good amount of YA, it was a welcomed break. There are a good amount of moments in the book that felt profound and quotable.

Characterization:

I love how full and complex the characters are. They feel like “real people” to such a high degree. Especially Jane Eyre. Reading it I almost felt like it was Charlotte’s diary NOT a character, which makes sense, since Jane Eyre’s life is pretty similar to Charlotte’s.

After this point, there will be spoilers!!

Mr. Rochester:

I did not like him (as Jane Eyre's love interest). He is too physical in parts of the book. Like he comes on Jane Eyre way too strong. At times, he comes across as overly controlling. And overly demanding. Which would have been fine if the book didn’t try to portray it as a romance. Like him lying about his first wife, while a serious offense, was not even the biggest reason why I didn’t like him. I understand this book is supposed to be a “romance” but I didn’t find it “romantic.” Mostly because I didn’t find Rochester to be romantic.

The Plot:

At first is a coming of age story. Then a romance with elements of mystery. And arguably a weird love triangle between Jane Eyre, Mr. Rochester and St. John. I’m saying a weird love triangle because St. John doesn’t want to marry Jane Eyre out of love but he did propose to get married. And this weird love triangle made me wish Jane Eyre remained single. Like I wasn’t team John or team Rochester. I was team “none”. 

The Ending:

I did not like the ending. I did not like that she married Mr. Rochester. I understand why it had to be done. A story with a female protagonist ending up a spinster at that time would have been unthinkable. And the line of “I married him” was considered controversial enough, since it signified that it was Jane Eyre making the decision rather than Mr. Rochester. Thus, it signified a shift in agency that usually was not given to women at the time. But still.... Jane Eyre deserves so much better.

Themes:

Gender Roles: The book, in a lot of ways, is feminist. Jane Eyre earns for independence and stands up for it (which is what makes her such a great character).

Social Class: Through out the novel, the strict social hierarchy of Victorian England is emphasized. Jane Eyre is at an interesting position as a governess. She is, on one hand, close to the upper class because she knows and has to follow their customs. But on the other, she is their employee and her small earnings lead to her vulnerable position. This is evident with how she is treated by Mr. Rochester, how she runs away penniless and almost dies, and how she is warned about the marriage by Mrs. Fairfax.

Religion: Through out the novel, Jane encounters different versions of religion. Mr. Brocklehurst's hypocritical and punitive in her childhood, Helen Burns's passive, meek, and subservient, and St. John's ambitious within the context of serving God. Through out the novel, Jane continues to have a belief in God and while that belief is influenced by those characters, she forms her own principles surrounding faith and religion. Those principles are based in interacting with the world rather than trying to hide from it, being grateful and loving instead of hateful, and finding a balance between earthly pleasures and religious duty.

Overall Rating: 4/5 Stars

[theobsessiveloser18]

Happy Derry Headcanons

*Upon returning to Avonlea (for vacation in Queens) Diana apologized to Jerry

*they were both very happy to see each other, but jerry was a little shy at first

*they stayed on good terms, became friends

*but 2 years later, when Diana turned 18, they were dating again

*This time it was not a secret, everyone found out, Diana's parents had not changed in terms of social class, they were furious, they yelled, they punished, they threatened, but Diana remained firm in her decision

"Now I decide the course of my life, I broke up with Jerry once, I won't twice, I love him whether he likes it or not."

*Aunt Jo was very supportive of Diana, now she practically lives with her and school, she bought a house in Avonlea to stay there for a few days, visit Minnie May, friends and other Avonlea visitors when they are on weekends or vacations

*Diana became a recognized pianist, and a governess to pay for her recitals, Jerry is still a farmer, thanks to his work he was able to buy a house for himself and Diana.

*Diana and Jerry get married at 22

*They go to live in Charlottetown, in a middle-class area, buy a rather dilapidated house, but they manage to remodel it and transform it into a comfortable place.

*Shortly after, Minnie May goes to live with them.

"You know, I'm glad to finally be free of mom and dad, they were driving me crazy." "We will still see them on weekends" "It doesn't matter, I'll miss Avonlea, but I'm glad to live with my older sister again" the girls hug each other "I hope you like that I'm here too" "Remember who spoke to you Jeremias" "Minnie May," Diana scolded. "You will never stop scolding me right" "Of course not, that's why I'm your big sister, and now I guess I'll be some kind of mother figure." "Well, I hope you do a good job, I don't mind your presence French boy, as long as I don't have to see anything inappropriate" "Of course, this is a decent home," Diana assured.

It was difficult for Diana to keep her word

"Not now Jerry, Minnie May is home." "she is sleeping" "you never know with her" "s'il te plait ma chérie nous ferons attention"(Please darling we will be careful)" "Je ne traumatiserai pas ma petite soeur" (I'm not going to traumatize my little sister) Diana shouted and Jerry gave in, but she hasn't given up, sometimes he manages to convince her, but only when Minnie May isn't home

*Ruby is Diana's neighbor, Jane lives a few blocks away and they have constant "women's meetings" at the 2 o'clock house but more than anything at Mrs. Baynard's, when Anne, Tillie and Josie and some ex-queens classmates go to visit there is no human power that removes women from that house

"I also want to be part of the talk" Minnie May commented when she came home from school and found them together "Well, why not?" said Anne. "oh really?" "Of course, you're not a little girl anymore, you're a lady" answered Anne "it's so lovely to be 15" they all laughed

"You know" said Minnie May after a while "I think I'm not going to get married" "What!!" some girls from Queens exclaimed, shocked, before the hard gaze of the Avonlea women, they hid a little "if marriage is a bit complex, mom and dad made me hate love, even now" "Marriage is not always pleasant dear, it has its good and bad moments, but it is charming" commented a friend of the girls "Anyway, if you decide not to get married in the future it will be fine Minnie May, you are a strong spirit, you would do well in the world, just don't let society tell you what to do" Jane said, the girl nodded gratefully

"Yes, it would also be of great help for my future, I could give a recital in any city without consulting the opinion of "my husband", just my violin and me… oh and Diana I want her with me, well if I take her I suppose that Jerry would have to come with us too, right?"

"That is right sweety" "It's okay, I can handle it just because of my success, a man who carries the suitcases doesn't hurt" "I don't think people would get excited to see a spinster playing an instrument, upper class people would consider it a scandal" Josie opined, over the years, she had become a better person, but no one could take away her "education" as a child rich "Better for me, I don't need the hypocritical rich to enjoy my talent, the poor people will be going, I'll get cheap, what they can afford and leave them enough money to eat, so people will flock to see me, who says that the poor They don't have the right to have fun." "I love hearing that, Minnie May, I'm so delighted that you and Jane have been so positively influenced by my coming into your lives." "Don't let the cigarette smoke go up to your head, Anne, what I told Minnie is from my situation, you can't say anything about being single, you're married to Gilbert" "Oh yes, that's my precious friend, oh Gilbert, my beloved and charming, handsome and noble Gilbert, he is the best husband in the world."

"No, that's not true, Moody is all that and more, there is no one who compares to him, so chivalrous, brave, and smart" "It's good that you stop there, I can believe the useless qualities that you mentioned something, but let me tell you something with all the love that I have for you dear, he is anything but intelligent" Everyone except Ruby who was furious laughed "Moody is much more intelligent than any of her husbands and even than you" before the incessant laughter she begged desperately as if she were still 16 years old "Come on Diana tell them"

"Okay, ladies, I'm not going to bring my husband into the discussion of the 'best husband' because all of our husbands, thank heavens, are excellent, and that's why we consider them the best to the point of entering into a ridiculous competition over who is the most handsome, talented and intelligent, but we don't need this, because each one of them is perfect for us and that's what's enough" said the black-haired woman in a conciliatory tone and she managed to finish the conversation there "However, let me tell you what I love Jerry so much and how happy I am to have chosen him, I love the fact that even our parents realize that we are and will be happier than they have been, the other day I was visiting them, and my mother as always He looked as if he were the most unpleasant thing in this world and I, with my natural elegance, asked her if she was not happy because he fulfilled what he always wanted" before the confused looks of his childhood friends and explaining to the women of Queens he continued "You see, my mother always wanted me to marry a Frenchman, and I did so, only with someone without wealth, a man of society, and I married a young man from humble origins, but in my defense she did not specify the kind of status I should have, he always said French, you can't blame me for omitting that little detail" At the woman's explanation they all started laughing like there was no tomorrow until Jane ended up with her cheeks as red as Anne's hair "Diana, you crossed the limits, poor woman, I'm sure she almost had a heart attack from so much impudence" "Almost smacked her," Minnie May commented with a smile.

"You must have seen her, it was so glorious, I wish Cole would have been there to make a portrait as detailed and beautiful as he does of her face, her expressions, I would hang that portrait on the living room wall, right in front of where we are sitting, and would tell visitors the fascinating history of the painting." "Diana, darling, a society woman shouldn't be so defiant or wild" commented one of the amused neighbors "You are absolutely right, my dear friend, a classy woman should not act like that, but I am Diana Baynard, the free and fun woman who will continue to do that kind of thing" The room was flooded with laughter again

Diana got pregnant, everyone (except the Baynards, what a surprise) were very happy) at that time, despite the tranquility that a pregnancy should have had, Diana lived through the busiest months of the last few years, traveled constantly to Avonlea, had some recitals in several cities, and received and visited her neighbors constantly, in addition to her work as a housewife.

She was constantly visited, Anne, Gilbert, Josie, Tillie, neighbors and even old friends of the queens and acquaintances appeared at her house, Marilla and the Baynard family advised her and helped with the pregnancy, Auntie Jo and Cole settled in the Baynard house and They stayed several months after Diana gave birth, she was especially grateful for so many wonderful people in her life.

Nobody called her the most "belle du monde" (beautiful in the world) pregnant woman as much as her husband.

Jerry is extremely accommodating to Diana, as if he no longer allows her to do any effort at home, she cooks, irons, washes, and keeps the house clean, Diana misses the routine a bit, but she loves her rest

"I was too lucky that you still liked me, after how bad I behaved with you"

"I had all the luck in the world to marry my first and only love, Diana, the most perfect girl in the universe, she is perfect for me"

One night Diana and Jerry were in her room, she was reading and he was writing a letter in French.

"You know dear she was thinking of something" "Tell me love" "it would be perfect if we had a small farm, like in green abbles" "You're serious Diana" Jerry asked very surprised, Diana thought that maybe it wasn't a good idea, they didn't have much money "Yes, I thought it would be nice, you know that children are created with animals, plus I know how much you miss working for the Cuthberts and the animals in your house" she commented with some shyness, but Jerry hugged her euphorically, and his doubts were dispelled. "That's the best idea in the world Diana, I love you so much amour" and she gave him one of those passionate kisses that Anne delighted to find described in books. "Tu fais de moi l'homme le plus heureux du monde d'une manière si simple que tu ne peux pas imaginer" (you make me the happiest man in the world in such simple ways that you cannot imagine) and the very serene and controller of such that even if Anne had seen she would not have believed

*Diana's pregnancy gave Minnie May the opportunity to bring out her curious

"Diana, Jerry I need to talk to you" "We hear you daughter" Jerry said jokingly. "At school the boys talk explicitly about how babies are formed" Diana was stunned and Jerry grabbed the newspaper so hard that he tore it, he drank coffee to calm down "I've stayed away from those conversations because I consider them indecent, And a woman should not make men boast of their stupid knowledge" "Your behavior seems very good to me Minnie May, however the word 'stupid' is not appropriate" "Anyway, the point is that although it may be considered inappropriate at my age, I would like someone to explain to me how a woman gets pregnant" Jerry spit out the coffee through his nose, Diana and Minnie May looked at him confused, the older one pondered words his sister for a few seconds "Alright" "really?" they asked confused "Yes, this is a modern home, not my parents' house, I prefer that Minnie May find out from us and not from what the new vulgar people of this world tell her" "However, I will write to Anne for her advice on how to tell her." "Yes, better write to him, I don't know how to explain the subject" "We know Jerry, you are not the most educated person in this house" "Minnie May!" "What? Was I rude?" I ask with sincere interest, the adults looked at each other confused

Anne sent a 13-page letter describing with the most graceful words in the world "said process" Diana was very grateful for the letter, kept it in a box along with others that her best friend had sent her, and decided that she was going to explain to him to Minnie may the process as she considered more appropriate. The talk went wonderfully, both were satisfied

"You did well to explain me in your own way, I'm sure that Anne's passionate explanation would have traumatized me" "Definitely, it was the weirdest thing I've ever read, and I already knew the process"

*Diana gave birth to triplets, Albert Fred Baynard, Anne Cordelia Baynard, and Charlotte Liria Baynard, they were beautiful brown and black-haired babies with bright brown and green eyes (from the Baynard family, the name of the last girl is a tribute to Jerry's mother)

*A short time later, Jerry buys a piece of land and turns it into an extension of the house, and it is the new farm.

"Society women should not be working on a farm" "We are no longer women of society my beloved sister, we are free damsels, owners of their own lives, who no longer care if their dresses get dirty, after all there is soap" "Spending time with Anne affected you" "No, I'm free, what's wrong with you? I thought you would have liked to grow up with animals" "Yes, but not to work on a farm, let Jerry do it, he has experience, or let's get employees like the Cuthberts" "The Cuthberts will get Jerry, because idols couldn't take care of the farm anymore and we'll do the same when the time comes." "being poor is so hard"

"It is, but for me it's worth it"

*Diana loves when the baynards, the cuthberts, miss stacy, bash, cole, tia jo and all her friends are gathered in her house, she loves her life like no one else.

[cookieloveranddaydreamer]

And I am sick of the assholes who vote for these guy and his fellow racist friends. The AfD is a Nazi party. Everyone knows it. At the beginning, I was just disappointed in my people and very, very angry how they could vote for these guys and that in our country! Our country who I was so proud of that we, as a nation, seemed to have learned our lesson from our horrible history and the sufferings our nation brought over the world in literally two fucking world wars, the horrors which were brought over other nations, the Jewish people and everyone else that the Nazis hated because of their shitty ideology.

But at this point, I am still angry, I am still sad and very disappointed but mostly I am devastated.

With the AfD it is the same like with all populists. They offer people simple solutions/answers for very difficult/complex problems. Everyone with a brain knows that the AfD will fix shit. They just want power and draw it from hate on migrants and disappointment in the last goverments of the last 30 years. The problem is: I have no solution against them and for the great problems of our times. And that is the core problem. A hell lot of people elect these arseholes because they want easy solutions for complex problems. But there are no easy solutions and that is why the AfD is powerful because they give the people for example the feeling that everything will be better if we had less migrants. And that while everyone knows that we are already an overaged society which clearly needs every somewhat skilled worker from abroad it can get. It is sickening. Especially because experts saw it coming since the late 1990ies what was about to happen. They warned and were overheard. It is sad and sickening.

As far as the AfD does not gain absolute power in our national parliament everything is still somewhat fixable but I am really fearing the next national elections exactly for that reason that the AfD gains more and more power. And I know what I am talking about, I have been an appointed election helper four times by now. I saw what people voted for. It is just plain sad what people do vote for these days. And that in Germany. Shame on the ones who voted for the AfD! You are a disgrace to our country!

Honestly, I still count on all my fellow countrymen with a brain, empathy and a heart in the next elections. But it is sickening to see how far Thuringia and Saxony are gone to the right. I think they are lost causes by now. It is sickening.

today a fascist won an election for the first time since 1933. here, in germany.

i don't care if it's just one (out of 16) states. björn höcke is a fascist. a court decided not long ago that it's allowed to call him a nazi. bc he is one. not "far right" or "conservative" - he is a nazi.

here. in germany. and he just won an election.

it hasn't even been 100 years.

i am scared.

[newspropaganda]

Why is your country better than America as you claim it to be? Can't you see that American can wipe out your country is you don't listen to your fucking goverment once you stupid twat

WTF!?

Don’t you dare use that ‘America will wipe out my country’ crap. That’s both racist and xenophobic. Here’s a reality check: I’ve loathed Americans since 2002 because I blame them for everything they’ve done to the world.

Here is my long list of problems since I became angry so much.

America lied about everything, including 9/11, and most of the world knew it. They stole money from other countries and robbed good nations like mine—small ones they colonized through NATO. They even lied about their own country being rich. Because they stole money and forced us to obey them, while you sit there listening to a degenerate government that's more scared of Russia than China. Americans can’t even locate another country, let alone know other countries exist. They use propaganda to mock instead of supporting their own communities or stabilizing the world—they use war to push their nonsense instead. Don’t even get me started on their own country. They tell American society that if you don’t listen to the government on everything, you’ll get canceled on Twitter. If you don’t go LGBTQ or believe in 519 genders, or if you don’t sell your house to others, you get no respect. News flash: America made up all that crap in the 2010s. Hating the white man and identifying as a woman when you’re a man is just plain stupid.

The pronouns, the woke nonsense, and cancel culture all came from America—a country I never even visited, but knew from the start it was their doing. There’s a solid reason so many Westerners left America when Trump came into power—he changed America for the better instead of letting it become what the Democratic Party wanted. But nooo, woke Hollywood had to celebrate denying him because they couldn’t handle his ego. Man, grow a spine and get the fuck out.

YOU BLAME THEM FOR THE WAR IN GAZA AND UKRAINE AND BLAME FOR WHY I HATED PEOPLE LIKE OCTOMAIDLY AND DYLAN SINCE BOTH OF THOSE TWO SLIMEBALLS ARE AMERICAN SCUMS WHO LISTEN TO THEIR OWN EGOS THAN THEMSELVES.

But what I really blame America for is my number one pet peeve: the Yu-Gi-Oh! community that hates everything I like.

America loves Yu-Gi-Oh! DM and hates the spin-offs. Yu-Gi-Oh! fans have overhyped the Battle City and Millennium World arcs to death while trashing GX and 5D's. There’s a reason why OCG Stories isn’t coming to America, why we’re not getting TAG FORCE 6, or any good Yu-Gi-Oh! content that isn’t DM 24/7. It’s because America is the pinnacle of laziness and mainstream hype instead of clarity and respect.

When Americans and Yu-Gi-Oh! fans can’t even handle criticism over a show I want to analyze, thinking they’re superior to everyone else, it shows just how low the bar is. If you really believe Zexal and GX are more loved in America than 5D's, you’re only proving my point.

2024 was your call-out year, America, and that’s why your country has been destroyed by so much crap this year. Enjoy 2025.

Enjoy your lies till whatever. Atleast my country has diginity even when you can't see it.

[automatismoateo]

Christianity has no place in modern Society. via /r/atheism

Christianity has no place in modern Society. That's it. As an atheist I truly believe that Christianity is the worst of religions. Followers are not really smart, and most are really violent when it comes to criticize something. The majority wants to convert other people saying things like "he could be a good Christian, Christ is king" and things like that. Many of their traditions has no sense and it actually were made to control people by telling them what to eat, how to dress, what to do as a married person, how to behave, etc. They arrive to countrys to stay ALWAYS with their community, many of them just went to european cities to have a job and have more money and goverment assistance, but they care little about culture in the country they are. Christianity is enough for them. They are judgemental to other people or to people from their own community. I hate this religion. So many history lost in countrys that where conquered by Christianity. So many deaths. It really bothers me when I see young people being so convinced about their faith, it's obvious that their parents never allow them to ask questions or disagree in something. They are Christian and it has to stay like that, otherwise the shame and (violent) dissaproval from the father. They victimize most of the time too. And it's working, people has realize that you cannot relate IE and Christianity because you will be considered racist. I'm sure that the majority dreams with people from all over the world becoming Christian. They will just never stop. There is little chance to them to change or leave their religion, in the other hand, there is a huge probability that they will try to convert people and impose their traditions and beliefs in the place they live. I'm tired of their propaganda and their way of living. Submitted April 07, 2024 at 10:03PM by Snowflakish (From Reddit https://ift.tt/stJf09b)

[thelandswemadeofpaper]

In the matters of crossover...

Soul Society does not understand diplomacy. They are 'supreme', absolute, greedy control freaks, and 'holders of balance' or that crap. They lack rivals and others group to keep them in line.

Many group/organizations/goverments in other shows/animes/series/movies like the Wizard World (both other coutries and families), Vongola, Amestris or even Konoha and Asoiaf has 'other factions' that aren't enemies. They cannot simply do whatever thay please. Soul Society would never let another Spiritual Faction exist outside their control (even if are peaceful doing nothing bad), they would refuse to be 'allies', would demand the other faction to bow or betray them. If they ever 'ally' with an group of another anime/show, they would demand them to be subordinades to Seireitei, obey everything they say and be killed once their usefulness run out. Arrogant at the point of foolishness.

Many 'crossovers' would end up with Soul Society getting in so much trouble because they refuse to talk to solve problem and follow laws and respect the local rulers and leaders, wrongly believing they have authority and jurisdiction over everything and everyone.

The Moral Myopia also. No loyality, no trust, no partnership, nothing. No one would ever want to help them or ally with them, they would try to 'arrest/execute' someone they think is 'different', Ichigo should have noped out of here fast.

Fix-Its with most fandons has politics and talking involved, Bleach ones are about destroying Seireitei cuz Soul Society are a Butch of Motherfuckers.

See Game of Throne for exemple, you have to be careful with no only your enemies, but your allies and subordinades too. Two of Robb Stark's greatest fuck ups are Rickard Karstark (subordinade Lord) and Freys (allies), the Lannisters too (Selmy, the Faith and Tyrion), also which decisions you make and how they affect the other groups (Ned Stark's execution was a reckless foolish action and even Tywin knows it), its so fucking easy to switch sides, your enemies may be more sensible and willing to listen to ours wishes, don't you think so?

This whole 'we have an common enemy' and 'you will help us or else' would never work on many characters like it did on Ichigo and his friends.

No one is going to obey/ally with you if they get nothing in turn/are treated badly/you attempt to make them subordinades instead of allies or something similar. Their attitude towards the Vizards, Bounts, Humans in general or anyone powerful and outside their control tell us an lot. In an crossover, they would attempt to kidnap, interrogate, steal, experiment and murder innocent people with no reason whatsover or commit fucking genocide against societies they consider threats. They did nothing to deserve loyality, refusing to help those who sacrificed so much for them, declaring they own people traitors out of blue (Rukia, Hitsugaya in Diamond Rebellion, fucking Orihime when she got kidnapped) and threatening Ichigo and his friends's often. (Poor Uryu)

I also kinda love the idea where the Hero (an minor, a fucking kid) that has his whole life planned for him to involve himself in an secret world and fight wars that are not his, to put his friend and family in danger for an butch of ungratefull assholes and there is an crossover where said Hero meets people from another Fandom and when the plot starts, he looks the group that wants him to fight for them (and he knows them for like...an hour) dead in the eyes and is like 'lol, nope fuckers, #notmywar, I have better shit to do'.

Its also easier to deal with them. A centralized power that have charisma of lettuce juice (Rukongai would turn against them if given chance), the 'smallfolk' of Soul Society hate then and the Shinigami didn't even try to make some propaganda (like nobles in medieval era giving the rest of the food from feasts so when a rebellion hist, the people would be more willing to hid/help them). Horizontal leadership is more difficult to deal with, independant factions even more.

So yeah, villains like Konoha or Amestris would be far more diffucult to deal with

[doomed2repeat]

Philoise ReWrite

Thinking about how Shonda could tweak Eloise’s story to make it fit the world of Bridgerton the Show better, and now I’ve made myself obsessed with an idea I know we won’t get.

Make Eloise a governess.

Since show!Eloise has more of a feminist independence streak, I’d love it if her desire to do more with her life plus all of her talk of girls needing education inspires her to work, and become a governess. Eloise always talks of hating her society, and the big critique of her character is that she doesn’t do anything to really reject it. A woman of her station becoming a governess would be a step down, but would be a positive direction in her journey to be who she wants to be. Book Eloise was content with being a spinster, but show Eloise wouldn’t be content with relying on her brothers or being stuck in the house her whole life.

With Marina dead, Phillip would be in charge of finding a governess to teach the children, and Eloise would write to him to inquire about the job. Since Eloise and Marina are no longer cousins in the show, maybe Eloise hears about the job from Pen, and that’s how they begin their correspondence. For me, this solves one issue I have from the book where Eloise does not know her cousin had children, Philip never tells her in his letters, and she’s surprised when she arrives. Due to how Phillip and Marina got married, I feel like his show character wouldn’t treat taking on the responsibility of becoming a stepparent so lightly anyway. Show Eloise knows there will be children AND that’s she’s going to mind them on purpose. Instead of using her being surprised as a plot point, they can lean into the fact that Show Eloise has a lot of trauma around the idea of being a mother. Season 1 has her remind daphne about how terrifying it was to overhear hyacinth’s birth and violet almost dying, and season 2 shows daphne singing to her in Anthony’s flashback of the night. I see people saying all the time how Eloise criticizes motherhood so it sucks that her story basically makes her a mother immediately, but in the show it’s so clear that there’s trauma there, and each season so far has dealt with trauma left behind from childhood. This is Eloise’s.

As for the rest of it, I think everything else works for show Eloise- falling for someone over letters before she meets them makes sense for a girl who felt such strong kinship with lady whistledown in season 1 and who’s main resentment of the ton is feeling like she’s being stared at and appraised when she dresses up for a ball. Eloise would be secretive about her letters because she’d want to prove she could do the job before giving her brothers the chance to try to talk her out of it. Instead of Eloise throwing caution to the wind and running away because a man proposed to her by post, she’d be running away because she is looking for independence in a career, but subconsciously is attracted to the potential employer writing the letters. A conflict about independence vs depending on someone would be a great way to frame the season for show Eloise. And instead of giving up one for the other, imagine if Phillip- who had to give up his formal education when his brother died- encourages her to teach/be taught? Opening a village school together would give them more to bond over than her just indulging his love of botany.

But if I can’t watch nice things, maybe I can read nice things, so if anyone has a fanfic like this let a girl know!

[higgs-the-god]

God I fucking hate this house

[tharros-auris-black-asimi]

Breathin

Pairing: Prince Bucky Barnes x Princess Reader

Summary: As the wife of the Crown Prince of Russia, James Romanov, your life is certainly very interesting. You love everything at the palace. However, your new husband is a real piece of work.

Warnings: This story takes place in an advanced kingdom society. So, royalty is still a thing. Think Wakanda, but for the rest of the world. Some mild asshole!Bucky. This story also has a physically disabled Reader, so some mild ableism and misogyny will be thrown around in this fic. Wayyy too much smut. Oral, fem, and male receiving, (with the male receiving in a library, so semi-public blowjobs, I guess?), rough sex with some anal fingering, as well as the lovemaking towards the end having the use of restraints and a gag, although not for kinky purposes.

If there are any warnings I missed, please let me know!

Additional Notes: This one-shot was originally going to be a part of my Royalty!Bucky fic in a series I'm doing over at my AO3, but when I started mapping out Bucky's story, I found that there wouldn't be a place for it, because it wasn't all that important. So instead, you can view this as a deleted scene, or just a little detour. I do have my Royalty!Steve fic on my AO3, although I am hesitant in putting it on here as well, as I don't know what the reaction will be. If you'd like for me to also put my Royalty!Steve fic on here as well, let me know in the comments, reblogs, or slide into my DMs! Any and all feedback is encouraged.

As always, if you'd like to read Breathin on my AO3, you can read it here.

Word Count: 7,924

“Are you ready for today, my Queen?”

“I’m not a Queen yet, Monica.”

All Monica Rambeau did was give you a snicker. It seemed your personal maid liked teasing the idea of you being queen one day. You were married to the Crown Prince of Russia, James Romanov, after all. It had only been a month since the wedding, and you were still overwhelmed with the Crown Prince just as you had been when the two of you had first met at the gathering a few months ago.

“I know,” the African-American woman replied, “I just love the idea. You’d make a great queen.”

Yes, you thought sardonically to yourself, because I can’t do anything else.

You couldn’t fight. Command armies. None of that sort. You couldn’t run too much.

Because of your physical disability, you couldn’t do many physical activities. A limit, one could say.

Walks were okay. Hikes, you needed to pace yourself. A break here and there. Any long-form physical activity, your parents often limited.

You missed your parents so much.

And alright, Magda wasn’t your real mother. But you considered her your real mother. She raised you, after all. After your birth mother died and your father had remarried, Magda had been your mother ever since. She was a mother in every sense of the word. No ifs, ands, or buts. None. Nada.

Your parents had shown you love and allowed you your own space growing up. You loved Wanda and Pietro. Hell, you had even learned ASL when Pietro had gotten into that accident that made him lose most of his hearing. You missed your family. Ever since the wedding was over, they didn’t stay long. They had duties to do, people to see, a country to look over. They promised that they would keep in contact, though. A call once a week. Possibly once a month.

It wasn’t like you hated living in Russia. It was a walkable country. You liked walking around the castle grounds in the morning. The birds would chirp, and you would be able to get some fresh air before heading back inside and doing your daily duties.

So it wasn’t all terrible. You liked everyone in the castle. Rebecca and Natalia were very nice. They reminded you of Wanda. Fun, easy-going, very sassy. The three of you hung out as much as the three of you could, every day. Rebecca had her own lessons going on with her governess, Carol Danvers. And Natalia had her own things to do as Crown Princess. The second-in-line for the throne. In case there were something to happen to you or your now-husband, Natalia would take over as Queen. Not that you were a self-doubter of her skills. She could rule much better than you ever could. You were not all that confident in your skills.

Not really.

“What’s on the agenda today?” You asked Monica as she helped you dress. Grabbing the hairbrush that was on your vanity, Monica began to brush your hair as she answered you. “His Highness is going to meet with General Hammer this morning. And the locals would love to meet you, Your Highness. Perhaps a trip into the city?”

You couldn’t help the smile that was creeping on your lips.

“I heard the library is very nice. Is there any time for us to squeeze in a reading? Maybe with the children?”

The corners of Monica’s lips curled up into a smile. Finished with brushing your hair, she put the brush down after getting rid of the excess hair, throwing it in the trash can.

“I’ll see what I can do, Your Highness.”

With Bucky, a bit later…

He was getting agitated.

Irritated.

Angry.

Pissed off.

Annoyed.

All those words and more could dictate his current feelings.

Because as he sat down with General Justin Hammer, the Crown Prince of Russia was beginning to narrow his eyes.

Dressed in the usual black and red colors of the Ancient and Noble House of Romanov, completed with the smaller, but still regal crown that proclaimed him as Crown Prince, Bucky spoke.

“General Hammer… I believe we can reach a civil agreement with New Zealand. The queen and I are very civil with each other. I believe a discussion will do our current situation just fine. As for Great Britain, they have always been our allies. I know Queen Margaret Carter personally. I will talk to her as well.”

General Justin Hammer of America was resisting the urge to scowl.

Or maybe throw a fit.

Why was this metal-armed man, wearing the royal garb of the King Father and Queen Mother ordering him around? Telling him what to do?

Oh right.

Because the unfortunate young prince who had lost his left arm from a war a couple of years ago, James Romanov, was the Crown Prince. And the superior in this country. James Romanov was the Prince. And therefore, held a higher position than him. Why the King Father and Queen Mother allowed this cyborg into society baffled him. James was like a fuse, just wanting to be blown. A ticking bomb. Justin hadn’t seen the ends of James’s temper. He didn’t know what the Crown Prince could do. Would do.

James Romanov had a way with people. When he spoke, people listened. When he walked into a room, everyone knew who to look to. He commanded rooms without even having to raise his voice. Hell, when he spoke, he didn’t need to raise his voice. He was the General of the Army of Russia. People respected him. Did some worship the ground he walked on? Sometimes. It made him uncomfortable sometimes. Uneasy.

Back when he had been growing up, his father had handed him a sword and a spear and told him, “We serve our people, yes? These are our people. They depend on us. They will depend on you when your mother and I will no longer cease to be here. You have a responsibility, James. One day, you will sit where I will sit. One day, you will have children. Soon, your children will sit where you will sit. You will be a king. You will serve your country.”

And he did. He had been sent to the military academy with all the other young boys of Russia and served his country. Now he was the General. Not just the Crown Prince of Russia. He served his country. He was loyal to his country. He had even sacrificed his own left arm for his country.

Bucky couldn’t help but see his wedding ring on his finger. Just out of his eye. It glimmered. Shone. Reminded him that he was no longer a free spirit. A man who could whore around. He was tied down now. He was now your husband. You were his wife.

Everything was different now.

So different.

But it wasn’t like the marriage was all that bad. Sure, you had a mouth on you. You were a mouthy creature. Why his own mother had decided to bless upon him a mouthy, sexy creature like you, Bucky would never understand.

Women worked in mysterious ways.

A knock on the door made both of the men pause.

“Come in.”

The door opened, revealing Monica on the other side. She curtsied to her Crown Prince in respect.

“Her Highness told me to tell you that she plans to go into town today. Sam and I will be accompanying her.”

“Is her bodyguard going to go as well?’

Right.

Clint.

Clint Barton had been hired by your parents before the Maximoff family had come to Russia. You liked Clint. He had been in your family’s service for a while. He was deaf, like Pietro. He wore hearing aids in his ears after the accident that cost him eighty percent of his hearing. And, he also used sign language to communicate. Luckily for the family, you all knew sign language. So it was a no-brainer.

“Yes, Your Highness. Clint will be accompanying us on the trip.”

At least Bucky didn’t have to worry about it on that end. At least, Sam and Clint were going to be there with you while you went into town.

“How long will you be going outside?”

To that, Monica might’ve faltered a bit. Just the slightest bit.

“I… she didn’t say how long, Your Highness. Perhaps a few hours of fresh air?” was what Monica managed to reply.

“Alright. Anything else?”

“No, your Highness.”

“Dismissed.”

Monica curtsied one more time before leaving the room, the door closing quietly behind her.

His wife.

You.

His little, mouthy wife seemed to be arguing with him at every turn. Every time he snapped at you, you snapped right back at him. Always having something to clap back with.

Like last night.

“Are you just going to keep staring at me?”

From where Bucky was, he looked at you. You were looking at him.

And then you began to slowly scowl.

You weren’t going to admit it, but you were horny.

You needed him.

Badly.

You didn’t know what had caused these newfound feelings to bubble up inside of you.

It was like your damn wedding night all over again.

Stupid.

It was stupid, what these feelings were.

You didn’t like him.

You swore you didn’t.

You knew he didn’t like you. Bucky had made that clear. He hadn’t wanted this marriage at all. Neither had you. The two of you were strangers. Not at all like Steve and Mrs. Rogers. The two of you hadn’t met at a freaking wedding and hit it off immediately because the two of you were friendly towards each other.

No.

Instead, the two of you had met because your mother wanted you to get married. To secure alliances. To do your duty. No matter how much you hated it. You were the eldest daughter. Marrying you, securing an alliance with Russia and Transia was what had needed to be done. Now, with the rings on your fingers, it had been done.

“I know you need something. Tell me what you need.”

And when he spoke in that voice, that deep, rich voice had resonated within you, made your body burn, made your body hum with need, you hated it. Hated what he could do to you with such sweet, short, and simple words. For a moment, you had that passing thought that crept into your mind that your husband might actually care for you. That he actually liked you and didn’t just pretend to, or just put up with you because you two were married. In every sense of the word.

“I don’t need anything.”

Bucky put his book down. From where he was, sitting at the little table near the window where you frequented in the late afternoon, he got up. As he walked closer to where you were in bed, he could see through the transparent fabric of your nightgown. The little inches of smooth skin showing themselves to him as you scooted back. The swell of your breasts. The way every step he took towards you made your nipples harden, making themselves known under the flimsy material.

You couldn’t help yourself.

Your vagina was throbbing. You swallowed as your back hit the bedpost with a soft thunk. Your breath hitched when Bucky crawled on top of you, resting in between your legs. Looking up at you with his eyes that had turned dark. Goosebumps erupted on your body when he started to lift the material, folding it over and above your legs, stopping at your hips. Bunching it in the middle as his flesh hand pulled at your undergarments. Tugging at it roughly until the two of you heard a loud rip.

Shredded remains of what was your lacy undergarment were tossed to the floor as Bucky shoved your legs open, eyes full of fury as his gaze lowered, wandered down in between your legs, his gloved metal hand shoving your body down onto the bed.

Wet.

You were so wet.

Arousal was dripping down your thighs. You were panting below him, eyes burning with anticipation. Your legs spread even wider when Bucky dipped his head down, taking your clit into his mouth. His gloved metal hand continued to keep your body down, pinned to the bed as his flesh hand kept your legs spread apart.

Your entire body shuddered when he licked the inside of your thigh. Your thighs trembled as the metal hand gripped, tugged, twisted a hard nipple through the fabric of your nightgown.

“O-Oh… Ja… James…” you moaned out loud, your hands finding his chestnut locks, gripping, tangling themselves in his hair. Pulling. Tugging. Bucky hummed against your clit, the sensation making an electric current run through your body. His tongue licked up the length of your pussy, smearing your arousal around, tasting you. His cheeks and chin covered in you, his scruff brushing over your slippery pussy lips, adding even more friction against you as your hips began to move, grinding on his face roughly.

Your toes curled when you came. Crying out when you did, your body went taut. His metal hand gripped your breast tighter, making you whimper when you finally came back down, gathered your wits. But Bucky continued to take your clit into his mouth, kitten licking on your clit, moaning against your cunt. Taking and sucking your slippery wet lips. He smirked against your thighs again when he heard you coming with a sob, your second orgasm piggybacking off of your first one.

You were gasping when Bucky finally lifted his head, mouth, chin, and cheeks drenched in your arousal.

Seeing the bulge in his pants made you pause. It made you falter as your hands slowly reached out. However, a gloved hand stopped you. His metal hand gripped your wrists, a warning look in his eyes.

“No.”

It was simple. Cut-throat. Straight to the point. A feeling rushed through you. Cut the mood, just like that. Suddenly you felt empty again.

And just like that, the reality of your relationship came crashing back down.

Why had you allowed yourself to be so gullible? Why did you let him do that?

“Do you feel better?”

His voice was rough when he spoke to you. Slowly, you found yourself nodding.

“I… y-yes. I feel better. Thank you.” He gave you a curt nod before sliding off of you and getting up from the bed. The only piece of evidence that showed what just happened was the ripped-up lacy undergarment that was still on the floor. Realizing this, you pulled your nightgown back down and scampered out of bed, picking up the useless undergarment and throwing it away. When you managed to look at your husband, he was fastening his furs over him.

“Are you going out?” Your question came out a little skittish.

Your husband gave you a nod.

“Okay. You’re… you’re going to come back, right?” Bucky gave you a slightly astonished look. You wet your lips. “I-I mean,” you stammered, “we’re married. Married people share a bed, don’t they? I mean… St- King Rogers and his wife share a bed. Shouldn’t we?”

It was perfectly reasonable. Married couples shared beds all the time. People in relationships shared a bed sometimes too. Sharing a bed when you were attached in that sense was perfectly normal. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Bucky found himself nodding.

“Yes. Alright. That’s fine.” And then the door opened and closed. When Bucky eventually came back, he came back to your room. Just like how you asked. Did he wonder, maybe you’d like to stay with him in his room? The Crown Prince’s room was much bigger. Lots more space. But this, this would be fine. It would make do. You were sleeping on your back, softly snoring. The blankets had been kicked down. Your nightgown had ridden up again, showing some skin. His pants tightened. He swallowed when he crawled into your bed after he took off his furs, his shirt, and his pants.

Bucky slipped off his glove, putting it on the little nightstand on his side of the bed. Carefully, slowly, gently, he wrapped an arm around you. The metal one. You groaned in your sleep, shifting around. Bucky swallowed again nervously, blue eyes watching as you rolled over on your side, facing him. Your face in his bare chest. Snuggling up against him, a blissful look on your face.

You didn’t like him. You didn’t.

The two of you hadn’t had time to discuss it yesterday night. The two of you had been too busy. With you being busy with your individual schedules.

Besides, the two of you were just starting. You could talk about it later.

Yes. That was it. Later. It would wait until later.

“… Are you thinking of having children?”

Bucky looked over at General Hammer. A perplexed look on his face. The idea was laughable. Absurd.

Why would he want to bring someone like him into this world?

Bucky had failed his country when he had lost his arm. He wasn’t valuable anymore. Some people looked at him strangely. Other people, when seeing him, would whisper about him. Vasily Karpov remarked that even though he had lost an arm, at least his cock still worked. He could still provide heirs, but no woman would want a man with one flesh arm and a metal one. Who would put themselves through the pain of loving a broken man like him?

They didn’t understand.

Father. Mother. Rebecca. Natalia. Sam.

They just didn’t understand.

They didn’t understand what it felt like, to lose a limb. To have to look at yourself in the mirror before every shower, to see the evidence that had flipped his entire world upside down.

He wasn’t that same man anymore. He wasn’t that same, smooth-talking prince. He was broken like a puzzle, unable to put the pieces together again.

It was hard. It was frustrating. Bucky was so angry these days.

No one understood. No one could understand.

No one.

“My wife and I are still in the honeymoon stages of our marriage. We haven’t really discussed children quite just yet, General.”

Smooth and calculated. Justin Hammer felt like a vein was going to pop from his forehead.

He had been convinced, just for a second.

It was no wonder why Bucky’s subjects adored him. Even though he was harsher now, harder, he was still kind to his subjects. Listened to them. Sympathized with them. It wasn’t uncommon to see him being around children and in town. He served his country and had a soft spot for children. It would’ve made any single woman flock towards him.

But not with his metal arm now.

No.

Not now.

“You know, Your Highness,” Justin began to speak, and Bucky didn’t miss the way he nearly spat out the title, his eyes narrowing slightly, “I heard from my wife that your little wife that she entertains the company of her bodyguard very much. Clint Barton, right?”

Bucky’s jaw was beginning to tighten.

You and Clint were just friends. That was what you had told him. That the two of you were just purely friends, and nothing more. Did you enjoy Clint’s company? Of course. He was a friend. One that you treasured. You liked Clint’s sense of humor. He was more than a bodyguard to you. A well and trusted friend.

“And I doubt she could possibly carry your child,” He said the word “your” like it disgusted him. Bucky was seething. Justin remained unbothered, or maybe he was just stupid, so he continued.

“With the way she walks, limping like that? There’s no way she’d carry it to full term.”

Something inside Bucky snapped.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t patient.

He was.

But he had no tolerance for bullies.

Much like someone he knew. Preferably known as a little punk.

It happened so quickly.

He had gotten up from his chair.

His metal hand had shot out. Vibranium fingers curled around his throat, and the Crown Prince had slammed him right against the drywall. The slam was loud that some people who had been lurking around the hallway had stopped.

Something was wrong.

Heels echoed down the hall as Justin tried hard to get some air in his lungs.

Bucky usually wasn’t violent.

But this… this gremlin talking to him, using such a disgusted tone when speaking about you.. it made his blood boil.

His feet kicked. His hand tried to desperately claw at Bucky’s metal arm.

“Don’t you dare insult my wife like that again. I will not be this merciful next time. If I ever hear you or your wife insulting my wife, I will use violence. Do you understand?”

Nods. Frantic nods. Justin managed to gasp out air. It was around the same time that Carol Danvers, Rebecca’s governess came into the room, the door opening loudly with a clang as she stumbled in. Her eyes were wide.

“Carol,” Bucky greeted her, his tone cold, “can you please escort General Hammer out? I believe our meeting is over.”

Later that day, in the Royal Library…

Word had traveled fast. When you had gotten back to the castle from town, a maid was already running up to you, blabbing in Russian about how the “Crown Prince had lost control and had nearly strangled General Hammer because he had been speaking ill about you.” It had made you rush inside, ignoring Monica’s shouts that you needed to dress in comfier clothing, due to the light snowfall today.

Sadly, your husband had been preoccupied. So, you could not speak to him.

Bucky had found you in the royal library later after he had asked Natalia where you had gone. She had pointed in the direction of the royal library. He had thanked his sister before taking off.

And there you were. When he opened the door, he saw you. Seated at a table with your nose in a book. As per usual, when you had been home in Transia. Even there, it hadn’t changed.

You hadn’t noticed him coming until it was a little too late. Your chair had been pulled back with the help of his metal arm. Then, you had looked up at the intruder.

Your eyes went wide.

So you did the next best thing.

You whacked him on the head with your book.

“Ow!”  exclaimed Bucky in surprise. He rubbed at his head.

So you did it again. And again. And again.

“Ow, ow, ow! Will you stop that?!”  Bucky yelled. All you did was scowl. Maybe snarl too. So, he wasn’t taken aback when you snapped at him. “Why the hell did you attack Hammer earlier? He’s a General, James! Have you no tact?”

“He’s a foreigner,”  was what Bucky snapped back in reply. Your scowl became deeper.

You had not wanted to fight with your husband.

Especially not with what had happened last night.

Nope.

You had not wanted this at all.

“I don’t care if he’s a foreigner! I don’t care if he was Yahweh himself! You’re supposed to treat him with respect James! Or has no one taught you manners before? Have you forgotten your manners?”  You were raising your voice now, starting to get pissed off.

“He was insulting you!”  Bucky bellowed.

“He was- what?”

A look of pure bewilderment was on your face. Bucky was taking in deep breaths.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

In and out.

In and out.

Breathe.

“He was insulting you,” Bucky seethed, now having switched to English due to his anger taking over, “he said it was impossible for your carry a child to full term by the way you walk.”

He was not about to bring up Clint. He didn’t want to throw more gasoline on the dumpster fire that was the morning’s incident.

“Oh. You mean my limping?”

Bucky’s jaw tightened.

And then the surprise was shown on his face.

The way you spoke of it so causally, so gently, so out-of-the-blue… like it didn’t bother you… it puzzled him.

How could you be so calm with this? How?

“Of course, I limp sometimes, James. It’s apart of what happened with me and my surgery. My surgery didn’t guarantee I to be walking like Jesus himself on water. Of course, I will slip up sometimes. But it’s alright. It’s okay. I don’t have a problem with it, James. I really don’t.”

Now Bucky was convinced someone had knocked you right on the head. Tooth right on the nail.

You had truly lost it.

“You’re… not offended?” He was shocked. You rolled your eyes.

“Of course not, James. It does sting, I won’t lie to you. I don’t like it when people talk badly of me. Especially in front of my husband.”

My husband. The way you spoke those words… those two words… it made something stir in him. He walked closer to you, plopping himself down on the desk. Facing you. Looking at you straight in the eyes.

His hands were cupping your face. Gripping your jaw with his gloved metal hand, so you could look up at him. When your hands went down to his pants again, fingertips brushing against the hem of his pants, you asked him gently, “Is this okay?”

Was it okay?

It was more than okay.

It was good.

A nod told you that it was okay to proceed. But you just wanted to make sure.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Bucky had never been more ready, so sure of something ever in his life.

Pop.

Unbuttoning his pants, you pulled the zipper down.

Just like your wedding night, Bucky had gone commando.

Again.

“I’m starting to think you just don’t enjoy wearing boxer briefs,”  your retort made him snicker a little.

“No,”  he replied, in full agreement with you, “I really don’t.”

Bucky was thick. Long. Uncut. It had been a struggle to fit himself inside of you that first night. And just like that first night, you were going to struggle to put it in your mouth. With his pants being tugged down, to the point where you had actually gotten them off, your hands reached for him. Pushing back his foreskin, revealing his shaft. Twin globes rested on his thighs as you cupped them with one hand, and your other hand brushed over his sac before your thumb brushed over his testicles.

Bucky let out a hiss of pleasure. His hiss turned into a groan when you took him in your mouth. Moaning in appreciation. Because oh boy, did you appreciate it.

Flesh and gloved metal hands sank into your hair, gripping it just like how you did the previous night. Profanities spewed from his lips when your tongue swirled against the blunt head of his cock, collecting the pre-cum that was already gathering there.

Salty. Not too bad.

A hand reaching up to grip his shaft, you took more and more of him in your mouth. When the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, your gag reflex kicked in. You gagged. How could you not? He was big. You knew your jaw was going to be sore once this was over.

Your mouth moved up and down. Your saliva smearing onto his cock. Some even dribbling down the corners of your mouth as you inhaled his cock. Taking him deeper and deeper each time. All the while your hand pumped his shaft.

Bucky hissed your name. He hissed other things too. Gasps and groans coming from him as he tugged and pulled on your hair, coaxing you to go deeper.

For the first time in his life, Bucky knew he wasn’t going to last.

“… Shit… ‘m gonna cum,”  your husband told you. A hum around his cock was your only reply as Bucky came with a shout, shooting his load down your throat.

You nearly choked. And coughed. But you took it in stride. You tried to swallow every last drop, but when you pulled your mouth from his cock, some dribbled down the corners of your mouth, mixed in with your spit.

For a moment, all the two of you could do was look at each other.

You had regained your voice first.

“Do you feel better?”

Did he feel better?

Somewhat.

As Bucky got off of the desk, pulling his pants back on, he thought.

For just a split second, he wanted to be in you again. Wanted to pull you over the desk and take you He’d make you feel so good too. All he wanted to do to you in that moment was shove your dress up, pull your panties down to your ankles, and throw you over the desk and make you scream.

But he didn’t. Instead, he said, “Yes. Come, I think Rebecca was asking for you.”

He never got to see the disappointed look on your face.

He was feeling it again.

Throughout dinner, Winifred Barnes Romanov was looking at her son like she was going to cut his head off. You kept quiet, silently snickering at the annoyed look on Bucky’s face.

He just knew his mother was going to give him an earful later.

But right now, he watched you take a glass of wine and put it to your lips.

Alright. He could admit it to himself- he was trying to distract himself.

Keyword being trying.

It was torture. Pure torture. You were determined to torture him, it seemed. Bucky was eyeing the v-neck of your dress, silently admiring the way it was showing off your skin. He could feel his pants tightening. Narrowing his eyes and quietly seething, he was thinking again.

He should’ve asked you. He should’ve asked you if you had wanted sex.

And now look at him. Getting a horrible case of the blue balls because he couldn’t use his brain properly. What kind of man was he? Not a good one. He couldn’t even ask you if you wanted sex.

Maybe Vasily was right. Maybe he didn’t deserve you. Maybe you two should’ve just made an heir for the people. Not for your own sake of happiness, like Steve and his wife.

For once, Bucky wished he could’ve been like Steve. Why couldn’t he be nicer like Steve? Why couldn’t he keep his temper in control like Steve? Why couldn’t he treat you like how Steve treated Mrs. Rogers?

Why couldn’t he be more like Steve?

The thought made him grit his teeth together as he ate. His temper slowly curling around him, building and building. The seed was planted. The only thing he needed more was someone to feed it.

Later, after dinner, Bucky could feel like he could actually take a breather.

Almost.

Because Natalia was sneaking upon him. By the time he realized that it was her footsteps nearly towards him, it was too late. The redhead Princess was looking at her big brother with a narrowed expression in her eyes.

“What?”  Bucky bit at her. “If you’re looking to chew me out, Natalia, don’t. Mother’s already done it. I don’t need it from you too.”

“She was asking for you. Your wife. She’s in her room.”

Bucky took off faster than someone shooting him out of a cannon. He shouted his thanks to his younger sister and immediately went to his room.

And there you were. Dressed in another one of your nightgowns, one that Bucky saw that was transparent again. Just like last night. His pants were tightening at the sight. You had left your lamp on your nightstand. Dim light was pouring into the room.

Get your head together. He snapped at himself internally.

Putting your tablet down and rolling over on your side so you could face him from where he was in the doorway, you asked, “Did Natalia find you? Or did you come in here yourself, husband dearest?”

Bucky panted. He closed your bedroom door behind him, locking it. You saw him take off his boots. Walking closer towards your bed, you heard him respond. Unlike earlier, he wasn’t wearing his crown. His shoulder-length chestnut hair was a little messy. Untamed. You could see he still hadn’t shaved his ever-growing scruff.

“Natalia found me.”  Your lips pursed.

“Uh-huh.”

You could admit it to yourself.

You were still a little bit angry.

Bucky didn’t need to do that for you. Why did he have to have General Hammer in a chokehold like that? Why did he have to do that? How could he do that? You didn’t need him to protect you, for fuck’s sake!

You were getting angry. Bucky could tell by the irritated look on your face.

“We need to talk.”

Your irritating look turned into a full-on glare.

“No, we don’t.”

Bucky was resisting the urge. Resisting the urge to shout. It was bubbling up in him.

“Yes we do,”  Bucky hissed, “You don’t look happy. I know you aren’t happy with me.”

“Of course I’m not happy with you!”

You had flung the blankets over you. Your legs hooking over on your side of the bed, allowing you to get up. You stomped over to him, nearly shoving him. But Bucky just stood there and took it. He knew you were angry. But so was he.

“You held an American General in a chokehold, for goodness sake, James! America is our biggest ally! You know King Steve personally! Do you know what will happen to your reputation now? It’ll be ruined! They won’t trust you!”  You shouted at him.

“You don’t think I know that?”  Bucky fired back at you, beginning to get angry again. “You don’t think I don’t know what they say about me? What they say about this?” Almost angrily, he yanked off his glove that hid his metal arm, nearly shoving it in your face. “How they call me incompetent? How I won’t be a ruler? How I won’t be able to serve my fucking country and how I’m going to raze it into the ground? Or do you want me to tell you about how Vasily Karpov remarked that at least I can still use my cock and put a fucking child in you? But sure, let’s talk about Hammer and how I put him in a chokehold because he talked horrible about my wife and ‘I need to keep my temper in check!’”

Smack.

Bucky had the decency to look surprised. A look of pure disbelief appeared on his face.

And then his eyes hardened.

He took a step towards you. You took a step back, feeling your heart hammering in your chest.

Too far. You had gone too far.

“James, I-”

He didn’t know what had overcome him. His hands reached out to grip your jaw, his lips covering yours in an angry frenzy.

He was kissing you.

And you weren’t complaining.

This was okay.

This was more than okay. You needed this. He needed this too. Your hands had found his chestnut locks, gripping them, grabbing, tugging, pulling him closer to you as his tongue poked at your lips. Your mouth opened, allowing Bucky to explore your mouth. He was pulling you into a deeper kiss, sucking on your tongue like he was in between your thighs again. Familiar wetness was piling, dripping down your thighs.

Your hands were gripping at his shirt, almost clawing at the black and red tunic that your husband was wearing. Bucky’s hands- both metal and flesh, went lower, all the way down, gripping the flesh of your ass in his hands. Almost good enough to leave bruises.

“Say it,”  he breathed out into your mouth, looking at you with dark eyes, “Tell me you want it. I’ll do it, doll. I’ll fuck you. Fuck you how you like.”

It was getting too good to ignore. You were finding it hard to deny him. He was your husband, after all. Grudgingly, you could admit it to yourself. You were growing fond of him. Of course, you cared about him. He was your husband. You wore his ring. You two were in this for the long run, whether if the two of you liked it or not.

But love?

No.

Never.

You didn’t love him.

Not like how your parents loved each other. You two didn’t give each other longing looks. You two didn’t say “I love you” to each other in private. Hell, you hadn’t even said those words yet. But they made something churn in you. Like a knife in your back, twisting and turning.

You didn’t love this man.

You didn’t.

“Okay.”

Your nightgown was pulled, yanked over your head, and tossed to the floor. Bucky was hoping his self-control would take. Would stay. Because by the looks of your naked body underneath, his control was going to snap like a wire being cut.

Nothing. You were wearing absolutely nothing underneath your nightgown. Had you always slept this way? Or had it been just recently? Whatever it was, Bucky didn’t think on it any further because he had hoisted you over his shoulder, picking you up effortlessly like it was nothing. Like you were nothing but putty in his hands. You landed on your bed with a shriek.

The sounds of Bucky’s plates on his metal arm moving had garnered your attention. Your arms had reached out for him, for the buttons on his tunic. Walking over to you, leaning over, he obliged.

Pop. Pop. Pop.

Pop. Pop. Pop.

His tunic was thrown somewhere in your room. Where you had no clue. And you weren’t really caring right now.

You needed him. You just needed him inside of you. Nothing else. You didn’t want him to coddle you. You didn’t want him to cuddle you. To hold you tight. You had to keep reminding yourself that you weren’t in love with him. Because you weren’t. You swore you were not.

When your hands traveled lower, like in the library, to pop off the button of his pants, he allowed you.

Pop.

And then you were unzipping his pants. Just like in the library.

The library.

Maybe he’d do it next time. Maybe he’d do it. Maybe he’d bend you over and take you from behind like how he wanted to do earlier.

Next time. Next time he’d do it.

But not right now.

His pants were shoved to the floor almost angrily by you. You were looking up at him, your gaze almost scathing.

“Are you going to do it or not?’

He shoved you. Like, shoved you, shoved you. A shrill noise came from you as Bucky opened your nightstand, fumbling around. Trying to search for it. He snapped at you to hold your wrists up when he managed to find the silk scarves that you had started wearing due to the cold weather. Your wrists went up. You watched him almost like a hawk. Feeling the wrists being tied to your bedpost.

You wiggled your wrists.

“Good?”  his voice was rough.

“Yeah.”

“Open your mouth.”

Your mouth opened. With another silk scarf he had gotten from your nightstand, he tied it around your mouth from keeping you from making any noise. A metal finger tapped the gag and you made a noise. It was muffled due to the gag. Bucky leaned back, satisfied.

“Stay there.”

It wasn’t like you could move the upper half of your body anyway. You couldn’t. You were trapped from the waist up. And if you kicked at him, he’d hold you down. Worse, he might’ve tied your feet down to the bed too. Then you wouldn’t be able to move your body at all. You’d be all spread out for him. At his mercy. Unable to do anything.

Surprisingly, you weren’t against the idea.

Slipping the blindfold over your eyes, all you saw was darkness. Pitch black.

Bucky heard you say something that was muffled against the gag.

By the time he hooked his knees under your thighs, pushing back the foreskin of his cock, revealing his erection, it was too late. You were still speaking, nay, yelling something at him through the gag, probably something along the lines of, “how dare you to tell me what to do,” or, “you’re such a little asshole.” He was spreading your legs apart roughly. You were about to say something else, maybe a snide comment, but Bucky pushed his cock fully inside of you. Filling you up to the brim. A muffled noise came from your gag.

Bucky was thrusting into you, pulling out of you, only leaving the tip of his cock in you, swirling the head of his cock on your slippery lips, before slamming right back in. Every thrust sent your eyes rolling into the back of your head. His teeth sank into one breast, taking your hardened nipple into your mouth. Both of his hands were holding your thighs in place, all spread out so he could continue fucking into you. Get deeper into you.

This was okay.

This was what he needed, what he wanted back in the library.

He wanted to be in you. To feel you. To be surrounded by you. And only you.

With every thrust, your body bounced. You couldn’t sink your fingers in your hair due to the restraints. Muffled noises of pleasure were coming from your gag. Your saliva was soaking up your gag, making it harder and harder for you to say anything. Bucky bathed your tit until it was wet, and your nipple ached. Then he moved to your other breast, giving it the same treatment. You were swearing and sobbing behind your gag.

You were wet.

So wet.

Wetter than you ever thought possible.

Bucky had come first.

He was just so hard.

So painfully hard. Achingly hard. When he came in you, he swore loudly in Russian. So loud he might’ve alerted one of the Kingsguard or Queensguard that was on duty.

He came in you, coating your achingly wet pussy walls with his seed.

But Bucky didn’t really care.

He needed you again. He needed to cum in you again. Again and again.

His cock was hitting your g-spot so well. So good. So well, so good that you were half convinced that his cock was going to split your pussy in half.

This.

This was what he had needed all day.

This.

Being in you. Feeling you. You could feel every vein, every ridge of his cock in you. It felt so good.

His mind wasn’t clear yet. The fog hadn’t lifted.

Cause okay, he was hard as a rock. His hand, his Vibranium hand slipped into your pussy, all wet and slimy, and rubbed your clit. Coating his metal fingers in your fluids.

You came screaming. Your scream muffled behind your gag. You tried to move your wrists but remembered that they were tied. Tears were springing in your eyes. You still couldn’t see anything.

You wanted to touch him.

You really did.

But you remembered.

Remembered his words to you on your wedding night.

I don’t want you to see my metal arm. I don’t want you to touch it.

Metal fingers wet, slippery with your slickness, his metal hand wandered, went lower, and traveled backward to your backside. A finger slipped through, sinking into the tight ring of muscle. A muffled noise came from you. One of surprise. You couldn’t widen your eyes in surprise. It didn’t feel weird. Just something you weren’t used to.

His breath brushed against the shell of your ear. Making you shiver and squirm.

He snarled.

“I am your husband.”

A harsh thrust. Another muffled shout.

“You are my wife.”

A scream came from you. Your eyes got even more watery behind your blindfold.

“I will defend you any way I like. Do you understand? Tell me you understand.”

You couldn’t say anything. How could you? Your mouth was gagged. Even if you wanted to say something, you would’ve preferred it not being when you were getting railed into like your life depended on it.

A loud smack against your thigh made you cry out behind your gag.

Good enough for him.

When his cock bumped against your cervix, you came.

Your pussy clenched down onto his cock for the last time. Gripping his dick like a vice. Bucky swore when he felt you cumming. His eyes rolled into the back of his head. A frustrated groan leaving his lips.

Still, he continued to pound into you. Wanting to chase his orgasm.

This was okay. He just needed to cum. That was it.

That was all.

It was nothing else.

Nope.

Absolutely nothing.

How he kept going, kept fucking into you, you didn’t know. Until you could feel him slipping his metal finger out of you, you didn’t know when he came. But when his teeth sank into the bare line of your throat, he came. He pulled your pelvis close to him, teeth sinking into your throat. Filling you up. Marking you in the most primal way possible when the movement came from his hips. He slowly lifted himself from your body, slowly pulled himself out of you. The tingly scent of blood in the air. Now having emptied himself inside of you, he gently pulled his cock out of your gushing cunt. A wet noise echoed.

For a moment, the fog in his head cleared. Lifted. He managed to gather his senses. Bucky looked down to see you, all blissed out. Fully satisfied. Something burned, moved inside of him. Made his stomach turn. But it wasn’t uncomfortable. His heart pounded in his chest.

That weird feeling was settling in again.

Bucky had that split-second thought of touching you with his metal hand. To allow you to feel his metal arm.

Immediately, he shook his head at the thought.

What was he thinking? He didn’t like you like that. Of course, you were his wife. But that was it. You were his wife on paper. In the eyes of the public. That was all. He didn’t love you.

As he untied the binds on your wrists and took the gag out of your mouth, you massaged your jaw. For a moment, he thought he might’ve gone just a little hard this time. But then you stretched. After he got up and cleaned everything up, he spoke.

“Did you like it?”

To which you cocked your head in confusion.

“Huh?”

“The sex. Did you like it?”

Oh.

Your mind had been foggy. But now, it was clear. You nodded.

“Yeah. I liked it.”

The mattress sunk a little as Bucky got back into bed. He didn’t hold you. But he was looking at you.

“Good.”

You reached over to turn off the light. Then you slumped back over.

“Goodnight, James.”

“Goodnight.”

Bucky was left laying on his back. Looking up at the ceiling. He could hear some footsteps shuffling outside from whoever was on duty tonight.

It happened again.

You had shifted over in your sleep, rolling over on your side, from where you had been sleeping on your back. Your head had nestled in his chest, just like last night.

The strange feeling was back again. All Bucky could do was look at you. His eyes were beginning to shine. He could feel his throat tightening. His eyes started to burn. Water with tears. Almost immediately, his hands came to wipe them away.

He shook his head as he relaxed against you.

He didn’t like you.

He didn’t love you.

He didn’t.

Not really.

Not at all.

Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44, @bxnnywriting, @hawsx3

[araminakilla]

Who lives, who dies. Who tells your true story?

(A TJ analysis + a little of TOH)

I read an amazing analysis regarding Eda Clawthorne and how her life was ruined by Belos and his system and I couldn't but remember @shields-and-depthgauges-oh-my Tadeo Jones x The Owl House AU in which Mummy takes Eda's place.

So in this TED Talk post I'm going to write my thoughts regarding Mummy's current situation comparing it to the TOH post made by @sepublic

Let's start:

"God I fucking hate Belos for this. Him and his coven system have taken everything from Eda; Her sister, her parents, her lover, her magic, her reputation and dignity! He and his society have defamed Eda so much, ostracized and made her existence criminal and turner society against her in their narrative."

If we reemplaze "Belos and his society" to "europeans and their society" and "Eda" to "Mummy" then we got similar results. At least we know conquistadors were responsible from the loss of his home, culture, family, friends, whatever important job he had, his humanity and probably his dignity too.

Then there's the issue regarding modern society and their view of living mummies. Creatures considered by them as monsters, beasts, zombies who will kill humans without thinking it, because they have come to believe that the mummies can't think at all, just like some inhabitants of the Boiling Isles who believe in all of Belos' propaganda have come to believe that wild witches are nothing but mischiveous, evil people who deserve petrifications and other punishments imposed by the coven system.

"Belos ostracized AND mercilessly pursued Eda like an animal, dehumanizing her like the Collector hunting the Owl Beast, as did his underlings."

And the thing is... europeans and explorers in general (aka white people) were the ones to designate the mummies as monsters of destruction once they wake up from their tombs. The monsters attack the "oh so innocent" british explorers because they just happen to retrieve things that belong to the mummies or ignore the warnings of the locals and then wonder "why is this creature trying to kill us?"

The point is, egyptian mummies existed so their soul can go to their afterlife with all of their belongings. Then we have andean mummies, whose purpose of existing is even more tragic as most of them were preserved to interact with their living family, be a source of information and pride. To both cultures, death was another aspect of life and their mummies were their connection to both worlds.

Their respective cultures got it pretty well. They understood their importance and respected it.

They had a live, a name and the right to rest in peace but the mighty explorers and thieves JUST. DON'T. GET. IT.

But they not only made the POC's ancestors monsters. They also target the living POC as well, and this is a thing that is still present.

"And disappointed her YET AGAIN as life does, because it really is so hard for Eda and it really does seem like she can’t win, no matter how kind she is to others... It’s just not fair..."

Back to Mummy, yeah. Life (and afterlife) has not been kind to him. Not only he had to be forced to flee from his true home (the Tahuantinsuyo) but he has been banished from his hometomb Paititi only because he decided not to kill Tad and the rest of humans. For displaying a hint of humanity. For not playing the killing monster card that time. At showing mercy, he seems to be forsaking his monster nature and was percieved as a danger to his society after 500 years keeping it safe at the sake of his sanity and identity.

Yeah, it is not fair.

"Eda gives so much and she’s begun to receive but it will never truly make up for what she lost."

Luckily for Mummy, he's got a found family he can come to visit, but it isn't the same as what he had before, without counting that he has to hide what he really is from the world if he doesn't want to be caught by greedy people or the USA goverment (given that Tad lives in Chicago) But he has lost so much, even more than the other incan mummies as they still have a place to call their home.

And then there's the issue that his best friend, his brother as he puts it, doesn't reciprocate the same love and dedication Mummy has for him. The guy traveled from South America to North America TWO TIMES just to be with him and Tad's reaction is "ugh, not this guy again" I get that Mummy arrives in unfortunate times but he doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

"And she’s still losing to this day, so I can understand why she’d just give up and ask what the point of if all even is, why bother trying?"

One thing many of us noticed is that Mummy has forsaken his former humanity as in a short of "Discovering with Tad" he calls the kids seeing the short "crias de humanos" (human cubs), he talks about his experiences of 500 years ago but never begins with "when I was alive" or "back when I was a human" then there's the matter with human disguises an how he can't get them right (as a woman on a plane and an asian couple in Spain seem to know something is off) and the fact that he seems to give up trying and just copies Tad's style because he thinks he will stop getting complains about his appearance.

But still... he actually brings his "human rights" when faced with a situation he clearly doesn't want to do or doesn't believe he could do in such little time, only for Tad to tell him "you're not human" And this guy is his best friend.

"Just admit and surrender defeat to Belos, who has finally won in making Eda revoke her own existence, after all of the shame and despair."

At the end of the first film, Mummy becomes a wanderer, homeless and not even sure if Peru is his home anymore as it seems that the country has room for everyone but not for him. Not anymore.

That he has to move somewhere else to feel at home, another place to belong just like Luz found a home in the Boiling Isles where she is figuring herself.

I mentioned before Mummy separating himself from his humanity and you may be wondering: But there is nothing wrong in that. Mummies are cool and WAY more powerful that regular humans which yes, it's true. But those concepts would apply with other monsters like, let's say... Dracula for example.

What makes this mummy (or mummies in general) different? Well, for starters, he's an Incan mummy, a native american whose life ended at the beggining of the conquista of the new world.

The fact that he has to migrate? being feared? taking advantage of his capabilities just so others can benefit from him without taking his feelings into account? the fear of people and their stares of disgust? the fact that he has to hide or he will be in deep trouble with higher authorities that will saw him as nothing but a plague?

Does all of this sound familiar to you?

Not only does that could apply to POC people seeking better opportunities in the USA, but it can apply to people escaping a war so they and their family can have a better future.

People seen as the other, persecuted, ostracized, all because of a system that it's against them and if they were born into the system and lived in it almost alm their lives, then this could cause many cases of self loathing and shame for the simple fact of just existing, just like Eda under Belos' system.

And Mummy would also be affected by the current system that label his current group (mummies) and his former group (native americans) as a mishap at best, as a danger at worst.

I get the feeling that Mummy's self esteem is not as okay as he make us believe. There is something that has to be bothering him and I think we could find out in the third movie coming this year. After all, the main theme is getting acknowledged and he is one of the most important characters of the movie, so he is (hopefuly) no longer JUST a comic relief.

And if Tad can get angry in this movie, he can get angry too and show his true potential.

"I really need to see Eda go ham... Go FERAL on this bastard, cathartically express rage against the man who took everything from her"

And we need the same to happen with Mummy, to see him tear apart the system that says that he's nothing but a monster whose only purpose is to make filthy rich people even more rich. That he will never belong to a place again because the world he used to live is gone.

Mummy needs to get everyone to see that he matters.

Eda needs to get everyone to see that she matters.

They are wild, rebels, escape from the current law and love their peers even if some of them betrayed them but they forgive them because the love that they have inside them is stronger than the hate the world has for them.

They matter

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

Thornfield Hall in Jane Eyre (hyper-simplified)

Random thoughts here on this symbol (also could serve as essay help). Feel free to correct me if anything's wrong, maybe add on stuff in fancier language because I'm too tired to do a detailed literary analysis here.

1. Thornfield as a Gothic literary element:

It's a spooky house that looks medieval and is mysterious! Therefore it's definitely gothic!

The significance of houses in Gothic literature: "the past never really goes away;" after all the history of the houses (hundreds of years old) makes them links to the past. The persistence of the houses over many generations is a reminder of the insignificance of human endeavors in the face of time/nature/the universe.

When the houses fall apart & deteriorate it's a representation of the consequences of sin (moral decay). Thornfield getting burned can be seen as punishment for Rochester's sin of locking up his wife and also for his everyday action of lying and deceiving people so he can run away from his dirty secrets.

Houses are representations of the soul; the outside is like the facade one puts on in polite society, while the inside contains the true person (the secrets!) that is hidden from society.

2. Thornfield as a representation of Rochester's character:

The source of Rochester's power and wealth (Rochester owns the house and all the money earned from the estate comes to him and he's an eligible bachelor because he's rich).

Forbidding on the outside but pretty cozy inside (unless you are the madwoman imprisoned in the attic). Mirrors how Rochester is mean but has a heart.

"'I like Thornfield, its antiquity, its retirement, its old crow-trees and thorn-trees, its grey facade, and lines of dark windows...how long have I abhorred the very thought of it, shunned it like a great plague-house?'"

Rochester has a love-hate relationship with the house: he gains comfort from its long history (which is a source of pride as it ensures his position as a gentleman with a treasured family home to maintain) but also hates it because it keeps all his secrets (the madwoman in the attic who "haunts" the house; her escapes and "hauntings" challenge his power over his surroundings).

3. Thornfield as a representation of British society:

Again, the house is the source of Rochester's power and wealth. Thus there's a hierarchy in the house to preserve his power:

The hierarchy (from top to bottom): Rochester, the housekeeper, the servants, and Jane, who exists in between the hierarchy (doesn't have a definite "place" because she's got the education of an aristocrat but is pretty much an employee who depends on Rochester paying her and of course Rochester can fire her easily).

Mrs. Fairfax the housekeeper enforces the social hierarchy when showing concern/disapproving of Rochester flirting with Jane (because masters usually use the governesses for sexual gratification; they don't defy social norms by marrying the governess). But of course we love that she shows some genuine concern for Jane when telling her to be careful because men can be abusive (unfortunately so true).

Every day she resides in the house Jane is reminded of her low social position as a servant to a master. After all, the room and board could be taken away from her at any time.

Bertha's imprisonment in the house is like the status of colonies in the British Empire: exploited for raw resources to enrich the mother country and then left to languish in poverty. After all, Rochester married Bertha for her wealth (to preserve Thornfield and keep the money in the family) and when she became insane he locked her up in his home. That's the marriage in highly simplified terms: from Rochester's side, he was deceived into marrying Bertha for her money and because he was sexually infatuated with her good looks he married her without question and regretted it because Bertha immediately cheated on him, emotionally abused everyone, and also had inherited mental illness from her mother. After trying to live with her for 5 years, he locked her in Thornfield because she was violent and would certainly have died in a mental asylum (because the mentally ill were treated very badly back then). One can argue it was necessary to lock Bertha up because she was violent and posed a threat to Rochester's life (and he thought he was nice to her because he didn't let her die even though he could have; how perverted are those morals) but all the same hiding her existence from the world (while having a human being locked up) is highly unethical.

But all the same, social boundaries are defied at Thornfield. Jane gets shocked when Rochester treats her as a friend from the beginning of their relationship by letting her speak to him (after she's been told all her life to remain silent by those in authority). Because this is Rochester's home he can break social norms (flirt with the governess) without facing the consequences.

4. Thornfield as a home:

"Wherever you are is my home--my only home."

Thornfield becomes home for Jane because she finds kindness there. Specifically, she finds a "family" there, since the people she serves under care for her (ex. she gets larger meals than the starvation diet she received at Lowood boarding school, Mrs. Fairfax gives Jane wise advice after Rochester's proposal). From the beginning, Rochester seems to treat Jane as his friend because he comes close to telling her his secrets and lets her talk to him. When she falls in love with Rochester she develops an attachment to Thornfield as part of her attachment to him.

"Heart-weary and soul-withered, you come home after years of voluntary banishment: you make a new acquaintance...you find in this stranger much of the good and bright qualities which you have sought for twenty years, and never before encountered; and they are all fresh, healthy, without soil and without taint. Such society revives, regenerates: you feel better days come back—higher wishes, purer feelings..."

Rochester has to return to Thornfield (home) to rest and recharge from the ravages of his hedonistic lifestyle. And when he discovers his One True Love there he definitely doesn't want to leave....

Home is a starting point for Rochester to redeem his morals. By returning to the place of his birth he wants to start a second life where he can forget about his degraded past and be revived (and saved) through the love of his "angel" Jane (who refuses to play that role). Kinda reminds me of Virginia Woolf's "Angel of the House" -- women as portrayed by men (they are morally pure, take care of the home and are passive beings whose main purpose is to raise good children and redeem the souls of men through their goodness).

5. Thornfield as a prison:

Remember how houses are links to the past? Rochester has to run away from Thornfield often because first he locked up his wife there and it reminds him of his selfish father and brother who deceived him into marrying Bertha! Plus the house is a reminder of his responsibility as a landowner to maintain it and he doesn't like responsibility (as shown by his hedonism).

Jane is trapped there because she can't leave without Rochester's permission (see the money scene where she literally has to ask him to leave to see her dying aunt and he demonstrates his power over her by showing her his cash while she reveals how little money she has). After all, her governess position as another form of servitude.

@appleinducedsleep @thatvermilionflycatcher

[growingstronglikeahighgardenrose]

Sanditon Season 2: all the news & my thoughts

So, we're getting not one but two new seasons of Sanditon! After a year of tremendous effort on behalf of the Sanditon sisterhood who kept the fandom alive, we'll be looking at a new season. Although I think the biggest thank you probably goes out to Bridgerton, which showed that romance, regency, a diverse cast and butts are a perfect mix to lure audiences.

I want to take this moment to reflect on what I think we'll win, what we'll lose and what we can expect in the future.

1. No Sidlotte HEA

This is probably the most heartbreaking salty news we could get. But I know Theo James, he likes new projects. And after divergent's disaster, I can't blame the boy for not wanting to hang onto another franchise. As a fanfic writer, although mainly an Esther/Babington one, I broke my head for over a year on how to get Sidlotte together. I had to imagine the grandest schemes to get them together. Tom needed 10 000 pounds in less than a month. Even Babington was probably not worth that much. That's over 6 million in today's money if adjusted to inflation. Regency era's England's top 1-2% made that in a full a year, and most of that is probably in assets and investments. And they don't just get to keep that money, most used a good chunk of it to keep their estates running and to pay their staff. Anyone know someone who has a casual 6 million lying around?

There's only two realistic solutions: either have Eliza die: which would be cruel and take years (unless you kill her in childbirth 9 months in), or create a grand scheme that would take months and see Sidney, Crowe and Babington actively work hard on their 'business' while in the meantime Charlotte, Lady Denham and Lady Susan get everyone including the prince regent to come to Sanditon. I kind of accepted they would have a hard time getting out of that plot twist. It was likely that Sidlotte could not be endgame.

Personally, I never felt a strong connection to Sidlotte, and had hoped that Charlotte, like Jane Bennet, would go to London with Lady Susan to recover from her heartbreak, and I kind of hoped James Stringer would eventually go down there for his apprenticeship, where a sort of Captain Wentworth-like situation would come to exist where he is a young man trying to make something of himself. I know Charlotte didn't love him. But I also knew that Charlotte wanted adventure and perhaps needed to grow as a person. But in the new season she'll probably be a bit jaded, closed off, and depressed. And will probably need a softer more available man. Growing up goes with swinging to extremes. She was an open optimist at the beginning, and eventually turned to the opposite, not letting her emotions shine through and being very guarded (@miss-holly-goes-lightly did a wonderful post on this). Adulthood is finding a good balance again.

So while I am saddened, because this brings along a long set of questions like: "Does Sanditon still take place in Sanditon then?" "Where will Sidney live, will he then live in London with his wife?" "Why doesn't he come help his brother the next season or visit his family, as we know Tom will make a mess of things" The show will have to answer these questions in a believable manner.

2. No Beaufort twins

Mollie Holder said on her instagram that the Beauforts wouldn't be returning. This leads to quite a few questions like: where will Georgiana stay then? What will be happening to Mrs. Griffiths? Will Georgiana be her sole ward while the Beaufort's absence is explained as them having married or having become governesses?

3. Who remains aboard

Rose Williams is definitely on board. It's also pretty certain Tom will be there again. Lady Denham is also likely to return. The child actors and their parents were willing, but worried about their increasing age a few months back. Old Stringer said he'd have loved to be part of Sanditon again and to see it continue, but he's well... dead on the show so he won't return. So who will join Charlotte?

Leo Sutter might not return. He plays an important role in the next spin-off of vikings. Vikings has a new season each year. On top of that he's currently busy recording Gateway 6. We don't know how long that might take. And perhaps by the time filming ends he's required for the next season of the Walhalla series. Leo Sutter is a rising star, he might not even have the time to return. Especially for two seasons. At his age and point in his career, he needs to cement his name, or he'll remain b-list while he has a-list potential. So he might have to give up Sanditon for his career. It's sad, I'd love a Stringer/Charlotte future where they both grow to being suitable for each other while becoming people confident in their own abilities. But in the end, I would be alright with it, as Charlotte didn't express immediate interest in him. Writing him out would also be fairly easy, they could just write that despite thinking he had to stay home after his father's death, he went to London in the end under Charlotte's encouragement. Perhaps he could then come back for a guest appearance.

Crystal Clarke will reprise her role as Georgiana. Clarke has, since Sanditon, spoken out about the sometimes tone-deaf director and scriptwriters. She had to step in a few times to make sure Georgiana was done justice. She also said she hoped Georgiana, if the show was continued, would get the space to breathe and be independent, instead of playing a minor role as token black friend of Charlotte while under the control of Sidney. It will be complex to have her return without involving Sidney, as his character will have to be written out. I imagine this can be done with a timejump, but the timejump would have to be 4 years to make Georgiana 'of age' as she is 17 in the show. They'll probably place her under someone's care while saying Sidney is "still her guardian, but away". Georgiana is, in my opinion, an essential part of Sanditon. Bridgerton showed the world wanted to see diverse faces. Austen wrote a black character as a wealthy and desirable woman. They simply have to do more with her in the future. Clarke will reprise her role, this time with black writers to do justice to her character. I'm excited to see what will be done.

The actor who plays Arthur, Turlough Convery, is a good actor and mostly in period pieces. However he's never overly in demand, and usually stays with shows for multiple seasons. I think he's quite willing to come back and it means Georgiana would have a friend. I also hope they delve into his character, especially after his "I don't think i'll ever get married".

Matthew Needham and Mark Stanley, Crowe and Babington, are Sidney's best friends. It will be hard to have them come back without them explaining why Sidney is never with them. But I believe they would work well as a duo: the drunk and the one braincell are a fun dynamic. Both are not much in demand, despite that I quite like them as actors. So we might see them returning. Their return would also be vital for the return of a few other characters:

Their return would also be vital for the return of a few other characters:

Charlotte Spencer's Esther Denham is married to Babington. Without Babington returning, how can Esther? And vice versa. Their storyline was also the main romance for me and a big part of the last few episodes. They kinda need to return. Babington is also Sanditon's access point to high society. To cash in on Bridgerton's success they should search that royal connection. Babington is friends with the Prince Regent. On top of that he has the most money. If he hosts a party and Charlotte is invited, this is where they get those grand-bridgertonesque scenes.

Lily Sacofsky's Clara had a romantic subplot with Crowe. In their final unaired scene they went to London together. She could return. However, the chances are quite slim. Clara is in London, and Sanditon takes place in Sanditon. Unless Lady Susan takes Charlotte to London for a while and she meets Clara and Edward there, cooking up a plan to get back at Esther and Lady Denham.

4. Predictions

There's no words to describe the popularity of Bridgerton, so this WILL influence Sanditon. I predict: more sex, more scandal, and even more ahistorically modern ideas and characters, multiple female characters and multiple male characters that each get screentime and their separate storylines and developments like in bridgerton, instead of just Charlotte's pov we follow. Glamorous scenes. And more POC.

The season will start with a timejump in all likeliness (as it is easier so they don't have to focus too much on her grieving). Charlotte will catch us up with what has happened while perhaps narrating over some letters she's written to georgiana and lady susan. She'll return to Sanditon during a summer. Sanditon will have been partially rebuilt with Eliza's money, and many activities will be planned. Sanditon will be in some kind of trouble. Charlotte will still be a planner. Her being very actively involved in things and having a vision was one of the most alluring parts of her character. In the books there was a rival town Tom hated. That might be a bit tricky to adapt so they could introduce some local competition for attention around Sanditon. A local duke hosting parties could overshadow tom's events. Or the social season in London could lure everyone there instead of to Sanditon. Charlotte will try to help Tom with this while getting reacquainted with everyone still in Sanditon, and hearing about the reasons why Sidney/Esther/Stringer/The Beauforts (to be seen) aren't in the show anymore. She'll also rebuild her relationship with Georgiana.

Then one day for an event Charlotte will invite Lady Susan, who will invite her to the London season to get over her heartache à la Jane Bennet. Charlotte will join Lady Susan to lure a crowd to Sanditon. There, she'll be confronted with some of her demons of the past season. Perhaps a pregnant Eliza Campion makes an appearance to rub it in Charlotte's face. In Sense & Sensibility Margaret discovered Willoughby's relationship in a most shocking manner in an almost public setting. Sanditon likes to nod at all Austen books so this could be a nod at that book when Charlotte discovers unpleasant news in a public manner. Charlotte will congratulate her and wish them happiness, and afterwards either a girlpower moment could happen with Lady Susan or Georgiana supporting her, or a love moment. Mrs Campion has tried to talk Charlotte down in front of people in the past, if she did it again, a new love interest could step in at that time to compliment her and then take her off for a dance. That could be an emotional moment for her, as she realized her feelings for Sidney in London during a dance the last time around as well. And she could have her cinderella moment by excusing herself and running off after the dance, uncertain of her feelings. She'll have some grand balls, might be harrassed by a man and risk a scandal, or try and prevent Georgiana from ruin during a scandal.

At the last moment she'll succeed in her goal and lure a crowd to Sanditon's events that will put Sanditon on the map. Either the local competitive duke, or someone from London will be impressed with her, but she won't be ready to marry yet. I trust that by the end of the second season, she'll finally have a realisation that she's quite happy with how she's living her life and how good her work is, and that she has finally stopped feeling sad. So the second season will stop with her atop a cliff, letting go of the traumatic loss she suffered on that same cliff a season before. By the end of the season, one or two love interests will be set up for the last season.

So the nudity and big romance will have to come from elsewhere. Georgiana will get more agency and action in the next seasons. She could be trying to tempt Charlotte in joining her adventures as a single wealthy independent woman. She might even leave to find her place in the world via boat, returning to where she was last truly happy: Antigua. The second season could maybe end with Charlotte overlooking Georgiana's boat leaving from the previously mentioned clifftop. Another option is Georgiana falling in love with a local man and taken an interest in the town. Financially speaking, Georgiana could be the only one able to save Sanditon. But I don't think she owes the town anything. Another option is the writers focus on Georgiana navigating her relationship with Otis, who might be back home for a holiday after navy duty. We could also see some political debates à la Poldark S5 about freedom, servitude, independence and so on. The first plan for Georgiana doesn't even have to exclude the second, she could decide to sail away with Otis to find their place in the world. In any case: race shall not be brushed under the carpet and Georgiana will kick some shins on her way to her happy ending. In Jane Austen, we have rarely seen a woman who tried to elope, or escape her guardian, get a happy ending. Georgiana Darcy, Eliza Williams, Eliza's mother, ... they're all tragic tales of women falling for bad guys who try to steal their virtue or take their money. And in the end they always become dependent on men again. I hope in Sanditon Georgiana will learn and grow herself, instead of being coddled by men. A lot could be done.

Esther and Babington could be a very cool insert if the actors join. They can really connect the high society to Sanditon. They could host balls, invest in Sanditon or drive the London plot. But they can also be an emotional backbone to the show. Esther married Babington, but she wasn't in love yet. I'm not a fan of the edward/Esther angle. After all he did, I rather she hated him with burning passion and never spoke to him again. But he could try to blackmail her and ruin her reputation in London. Perhaps become some kind of Lord Whistledown. With Charlotte coming to Esther's aid. Esther's plotline could be about learning to trust people and open her heart again. Perhaps she could have a conflict with Babington about him wanting a family and she still being uneasy with marriage, let alone children. Maybe they could have a fight, with one of them going to London. In their separation they might realize they love each other. And then the other comes back home from London with Charlotte and they fix everything. Another route is them having a fight, Esther going to confront Edward or Clara about their blackmailing or maneouvring. Babington thinks it's because she doesn't love him, but actually it's because she loves Babington and wants to be rid of her past. But she gets into an accident and Babington only realizes the truth later on, leading to a happy ending.

Other things I'd love to see: Mary finally growing a backbone and telling Tom to either be open about his affairs and finances or be gone. Arthur and Diana growing a backbone and telling their brother he's a fuck up. Charlotte realizing Tom is stupid. Lady Denham appointing Charlotte or Arthur to head of Sanditon after showing their worth an entire season. Tom being repentant. Diana getting over her fears. Arthur getting a love interest. Crowe being in Sanditon, I just love him. Kisses. Healthy love interests that aren't broody and traumatized and in need of fixing by women. Jane Austen's men need to do their growing ON THEIR OWN. And then they earn their brides.

5. What we'll lose

- A Sidlotte ending: once the new season comes out, Sidlotte is no longer headcanon.

- A happy Esther/Babington ending: they married and looked happy, despite Esther's rushed turn around. If they're in the new season, their marriage won't be perfect. They'll have conflicts, just for plot. Whatever headcanons we had for them will probably be falsified. We might come to dislike them or their relationship. I've seen almost all my ships crumble to dust on the rocks of multiple seasons dragging out relationships and piling on conflict just to keep it interesting.

- A part of what made Sanditon Sanditon: we'll lose many faces we've come to love. And the dynamics and relationships will therefore change a lot.

- Fanfics become dated: I know it is the problem of every fandom, but it's one I regret all the same. Part of why I love Austen fandoms is the fact that the books are written. The characters and relationships won't change. With 2 new seasons coming, all fanfics out there will become dated. The millions of hours authors put into Sidlotte fics will perhaps become barely read when Charlotte gets new love interests. All the headcanons I and many others wrote down for Sidlotte, Esther/Babington, Charlotte/Stringer, will officially become silly fantheories. I've been there a couple of times before that shows changed the entire course and personality of certain characters and then you can't help but feel exhausted and sometimes annoyed because these are your babies and you had dreams for them, and the writers took them in directions that sometimes don't do them justice. But it's canon so you gotta accept it. Sometimes fantasy is nicer than a writer toying around with storylines and characters just to create drama. And I'll have to write my characters in a new way that fits the characters based on the info from the new seasons. I might fall out of love with them. Ah, the burden of being a shipper weighs heavy.

- Perhaps we still lose a HEA: Season one ended with a happy babington/Esther and an unhappy Charlotte who learned a lot, and a Sanditon that was saved. Although Sanditon has been extended for two seasons it's possible that if the ratings for S2 aren't good they may still cancel the third season. If they don't learn from their mistakes and end season 2 on another cliffhanger even Esther's relationship and sanditon may be at stake. If they're getting 2 seasons they will also not marry or engage charlotte in the second, meaning Charlotte will still be single by the end of the series if they cancel season 3. The whole reason we wanted more seasons was for charlotte to have a HEA. So I'm really fearful that she'll be put in another hard spot. They at least need to get her happy by the end of S2.

6. What we'll gain

- More sanditon content

- More regency era content and images and music which is always lovely

- Seeing our favourites again

- Hopefully we get to see new challenges and romance and humor and tense moments and scandal and drama that will be fun to watch

- A Georgiana story arc: a black woman in a realistic historical setting living her life, being wealthy, and England just having to Deal With It. And as cherry on top she'll be written by black writers.

- Happy endings (hopefully)

- New hot men! This is a guarantee

- Perhaps LGBTQ+ representation with Arthur

- Frustration at Tom's antics (guaranteed)

- Maybe some interactions with Charlotte's siblings

- Esther Babington content

- New material to write fanfics and metas about

- Over 8 hours of viewing pleasure

[automatismoateo]

Islam has no place in western society via /r/atheism

Islam has no place in western society That's it. As an atheist I truly believe that islam is the worst of religions. Followers are not really smart, and most are really violent when it comes to criticize something. The majority wants to convert other people saying things like "he could be a good muslim, may Allah guide you" and things like that. Many of their traditions has no sense and it actually were made to control people by telling them what to eat, how to dress, what to do as a married person, how to behave, etc. They arrive to countrys to stay ALWAYS with their community, many of them just went to european cities to have a job and have more money and goverment assistance, but they care little about culture in the country they are. Islam is enough for them. They are judgemental to other people or to people from their own community. I hate this religion. So many history lost in countrys that where conquered by islam. So many deaths. It really bothers me when I see young people being so convinced about their faith, it's obvious that their parents never allow them to ask questions or disagree in something. They are muslim and it has to stay like that, otherwise the shame and (violent) dissaproval from the father. They victimize most of the time too. And it's working, people has realize that you cannot relate IE and islam because you will be considered racist. I'm sure that the majority dreams with people from all over the world becoming muslim. They will just never stop. There is little chance to them to change or leave their religion, in the other hand, there is a huge probability that they will try to convert people and impose their traditions and beliefs in the place they live. I'm tired of their propaganda and their way of living. Submitted April 07, 2024 at 06:24PM by zer0VAns (From Reddit https://ift.tt/gC284Eo)

[slowlyreadinghouseofmirth]

Page 7

In truth, he had never liked her as well as at that moment -> Selden's affections here are plain to see, made so especially by subordinate clause 'in truth' which conveys an honesty and freshness about his feelings. Most importantly, he likes her when she is being her true self, unconventional, and willing to take risk. It's likely informed by his disillusion with high society and finding commonality in someone willing to disregard its etiquette. This is where Lily is unique.

There's also this sense that Selden likes Lily because she is impulsive and this sparks his curiosity to try and understand why she does the things she does-- understand Lily as a person.

He knew she had accepted without afterthought: -> This reaffirms Lily's lack of hesitancy, which alludes to how willing she is to be in Selden's company. It also shows how comfortable she is with him as she is aware of the rumours that could occur but never merits them with being a possibility, showing great trust.

Alternatively, being aware of the risks and having not afterthoughts could suggest that she doesn't fully understand the risks' depth and nuance as in future the situation at Monte Carlo would suggest, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

he could never be a factor in her calculations -> there's a colon that separates this clause from the previous one which suggests this is an explanation for Lily's certainty. To me this would point more towards Lily not really associating the risk of rumours with Selden because she trusts him so much. i.e she does not think of him when she thinks of the risks. But given that they are going up to his apartment it seems strange that Selden would not think himself a factor in her decision. It's therefore possible that he thinks that Lily does not think of him worthy of great consideration.

Also the noun 'calculations' would suggest a lot of thought had gone into the decision where it was previously implied it was one of impulse. This seems like Selden thinks that Lily is playing an intricate game, which further demonstrates his curiosity about her and need to understand her.

there was a surprise, a refreshment almost, in the spontenaity of her consent -> This further contrasts Selden's perception of Lily's 'calculations' and I think the narration is a fine weave between objective reality--where Lily is impulsive-- and Selden's subjective perceptions-- where Lily appears impulsive but there is something more complex informing her decisions. I think this is meant to show that Selden is blinded somewhat by his affections for Lily, seeing things deeper than what are there or what everybody else sees. Alternatively, we as the reader lack Selden's sight into the complexities of Lily and so she is introduced to us as other people see her, which isn't well at all, and we have to learn how Selden sees her. It's a challenge to care for Lily as he does.

The spontaneity invokes a light hearted and refreshing feeling of being in love which mirrors the honest of truth mentioned earlier.

So there's Selden's surprise at Lily being so spontaneous which draws back to a previous point about she is unique for being impulsive almost reckless. It's like we get a sense of her character and her environment from how the two are at odds with each other. Lily is impulsive; noone else of her class should be like that. In a way that makes her free from the system and yet shows her struggle against it but ultimately her struggle will be more defining.

She noticed the letters and notes heaped on the table -> I assume that this is a reference to future letters although I don't know if they would be the same ones. If they were, I don't even have the mental capacity to unpack that. Just the thought that Lily's fall is inevitable, that even when she is happy, having a nice time, an unknown omen lurks within the same room that will bring her sorrow... oh its symbolic, for sure. But I don't want to think about it.

Lily sank into one of the shabby leather chairs -> the verb 'sank' shows how at home Lily really is with this kind of surroundings, how the shabby whilst not fashionable or expensive, is comfortable. From this we and the the pile of letters we get an image of a a slightly disorderly but well-lived in home. This is one of the tragedies where we see the possibility of what her future with Selden could look like where it is unconventional but Lily is comfortable at home even with it.

"How delicious to have a place like this all to oneself! What a miserable thing it is to be a woman," -> I love Lily's exaggerated turns of phrases like 'delicious' and the exclamations; I think Wharton's emphasis on these exaggerations is to capture Lily's innocence through her speech by making it similar to that of a child who is easily excitable.

Again with the exaggeration but this time with 'miserable', we get the sense that Lily has found the world difficult as a woman to live in but miserable seems too strong of a word, certainly at this stage in the book and is sort of hidden within her other hyperbolised expressions. Maybe this creates a kind of cry-wolf situation where, when Lily properly starts to struggle, people don't take notice not only because it wasn't the done thing to do to talk about struggles but also because of her melodramatic personality, everyone thought the same stuff was happening as it had before and Lily was making a big fuss over nothing.

There is repetition of 'miserable' in association to being of female sex further down the page which is another example of Lily's melodrama. But at this point we as a modern audience start to question if she is actually alright (or at least I did). I'm not sure if a contempary audience if the time would have given the strict taboo over discussing any kind of struggle financial/physical health etc. let alone the discussion of mental health. From the impression I get of the time, the only real source of outlet for people struggling with mental health beyond self medication was art, which makes me wonder as to the position Wharton is writing this from.

she leaned back in a luxury of discontent -> The juxtaposition of 'luxury' and 'discontent' raises an important theme that wealth does not equate happiness and that Lily is not happy as a socialite but happy in the company of Selden, and that actually money is the source of Lily's unhappiness. In this specific context, she is lamenting her lack of freedom to live the lifestyle that Selden does.

"Even women," he said "Have been know to enjoy the privaledges of a flat." -> Putting the discourse marker directly after the subject of 'women' breaks it apart from the rest of the sentence and emphasises the extraordinariness of women being able to live independently. But it also raises the possibility of it and suggests that Selden thinks Lily is extraordinary and unconventional enough to achieve the possibility if she chose to.

"Oh governesses– or widows. But not girls– not poor, miserable, marriageable girls!" -> Again we have the breakdown of womanhood into distinct classes like governess, widows, and girls,which creates the idea that there's no intersections between any of them and is a reflection of of societies fixation for categorisation which loses sight the complexity of situations and problems. And it also makes it easier to place social stigmas like those on governesses and widows. Those stigmas are made apparent here but in contrast to how Lily describes girls, being a governess or a widow seems desirable.

In the list of adjectives 'poor, miserable, marriageable', marriageable is equated to these other adjectives and we see that Lily associates marriage with a poverty of kind, of the heart.

It's also interesting that Lily talks about herself as a girl where Selden speaks of her as a woman. Lily plays up her innocence as she has probably been taught to to make desirable marital match, but with that Lily carries around an air of immaturity and naïvity; she's still very child-like. Perhaps that's a part of her that's trying to cling to her youth so she doesn't have to face her future where she will need to marry to survive. Lily sees her adulthood as a constraint on her and her desires whereas Selden sees her potential.

"you mean Gerty Farish," she smiled a little unkindly. "But I said marriageable–" -> Okay so definitely a little tone deaf on Lily's part buts she's honest to a fault and her honesty is refreshing and entertaining.

I'm no expect on autism and don't claim to be but there's something about Lily's mannerisms here that reminds me of people who I know and am very close with who are autistic. And it makes me wonder if Lily was autistic and neurodivergence was recognised in her time if her fate would have been any different.

"Her cook does the washing and her food tastes if soup. I should hate that you know." -> I just love the imagery of the first sentence, it strikes my funnybone. I guess it also illustrates that Lily's privileged upbringing if she thinks this is a bad situation to live in.

Okay I'm going to bring in a bit of a technical term to describe the verb 'should'. So it's a modal verb (expressing possibility based on context) but specifically a deontic modal verbal, meaning that Lily's hate depends on social rules. When she says she should hate it it implies that society wants her to hate it but she wouldn't necessarily hate it. That's what that verb phrase implies in today's english, but language has changed since the time it was written so it may not have been written with this meaning, especially as a signifier of an older text is the use of modal verbs in places we wouldn't today and a lot more of them.

The shift from Selden's reflections to the quick dialogue and short simple sentences of action creates a lively and charged atmosphere that feels almost flirtatious in its rhythm but by the nature of the content is more domestic (preparing afternoon tea). The balanced turn taking feels comfortable in that they both have equal power in the conversation, being allowed to say what they want to and being listened to. It goes towards simulating what a possible future could be and also shows how happy they are in this moment.