#im just not. self sustainable especially with all these fucking expectations

[callofloony]

Smooch. (Ghost)

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Tags: Fluff, no smut, no use of y/n or “you” pronouns but can be read as self insert, gn partner, they/them for Ghost’s partner

A/N: (The author of this post is a minor and does not write nsfw, 18+/nsfw blogs dni!!) Just some softness with Simon bc im completely and totally enamored with him :33

~ Writing under the cut ~

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Dude, Simon is sooo obsessed with getting kissed, especially neck kisses cuz i imagine his neck is rlly fucking sensitive bc of some injuries he sustained from ages ago.

He loves being pulled by his waist close to his partner’s body, especially when he least expects it. He could be over the sink doing dishes and he’ll just feel a loving hand pull him away from the chore and litter his neck with kisses, causing him to blush and smile dumbly.

He loves giving them too!! When he’s big spoon he’ll lean in and press a soft kiss to his partner’s neck as their eyes start to grow heavier and flutter shut, getting one last smile out of them as they both fell asleep.

He’s just a huge puppy beneath his intimidating military demeanor, even though he can kill and not even bat an eye, sweet thing just loves attention and being loved <3

AND FUCKME DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LIP KISSES

French or chaste, a peck or passionate, he doesn’t care, he’ll melt in an instant no matter what. Even if it’s just a light brush against his partner’s own lips while they’re being a tease, he’ll fold IMMEDIATELY

His favorite ones however, are slow kisses, ones where he’s gently pulled into it and gets to feel soft, passionate lips press against his own for a long moment.

Usually his face will be held or his cheek will be stroked, and it’s so much innocent touch and tenderness in just one kiss that it leaves him absolutely reeling. Cuz contrary to popular belief!! He’s not a sex machine, and deserves tenderness too !!!!

Bonus points if it’s a morning kiss, one where they’re both laying in bed all drowsy and just pull each other close to wake up with each other’s lips on their own, being a motivator to get up each morning, even if he don’t wanna bc cuddling in bed is so much cozier,,,

He just wants to be doted on,, eueghhbb

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A/N: idk guys i just lovehim so much he makes me so sick eeughuhuhhhhe snifflesg .,,… ALGSO!!! Sorry if that little blurb abt him not being a sex machine offends anyone cuz i feel like it comes off as passive aggressive ??,, write and enjoy whatever you want, i don’t care !!! but imo there’s not enough content of the cod men just being loved on, and it saddens me when everything on my dash is just hardcore smut i never asked for 😞😞 LET BUFF DUDES BE SOFT !! FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[higgs-the-god]

God I fucking hate this house

[ziracona]

Anytime I see the legion im picturing urs so now in a trial im like "fukn idiot loser babies" *pallet smacks*. Reading ur meta(is that the term??) on Julie just now I'm like. So mad for her!! Get them kids some therapy!! How could the adults in their lives let them get to such a shitty point.. >:( Also, another thought I had with Adiris. The buzzfeed video is more her holding a bunch of cats. Because the survivors are like herding cats. Chaos children they are (im looking at you meg.)

Hahdjsdk god what a mood. Every time I see an Anna I’m just like “!!! MOM?” And get a hatchet between the eyes rip. And yeah! Meta is right.

For real, for real. Julie and all the Legion kids had some real shit going on. Joey by far had the best home life and family, but even he had a bunch of struggles in school because his family didn’t have time or in many cases experience to help him study, and it was crowded and poor, and because he had no help most kids got, he got treated like he was stupider, and even when he had skills in other areas, everyone at school expected him to perform well at sports and not much else like that was fine & he was meant to be valuable exclusively as an athlete, when he much preferred and actually really liked things like shop and ceramics and building/making stuff. But most people treat trade classes like easy As dumb kids pick (back when shop was still a thing), and like it was a worthless skill, and like. That doesn’t sound as bad as like, being bounced through foster homes as Frank, but pain is relative, you know? Bad is just bad. And things grind on you. It was hard to be taught constantly he was only worth something as a skill he didn’t even really care about, and get treated like he was dumb just because he had less help built in to school than most kids there did. People don’t talk about this much but like, having parents or sibs who help with homework? It’s a huge factor. So is just having family who are college graduates (if you go to college), because first gen student means walking in blind & alone & accountable to no one but bills, and like, college is initially overwhelming with two parents with Masters who are helpful. Any time what you value about you and what you love doesn’t match up with what people who have more power than you tell you is valuable about you/should be your goal, it’s hard. Especially as a teen still trying to like hack out an identity. Overly enthusiastic and impulsive, and has been mocked and hurt and turned on for it, but can’t shut it off. Big heart, but the luck to stand up usually just in time to get laid flat again.

And then Susie, with the parents who don’t care for her or pay her much mind other than disappointed looks and an occasional snap or suggestion or urging to try something different that what she’s doing. Bullied for her sexuality, nervous, and in a small town in the late 90s, probably the only lesbian (at least that she’s aware of existing) in that entire like couple hundred people mountain town, and sort of unbearably alone and misunderstood and isolated feeling. God, feeling like there’s just no one like you are out there is one of the worst feelings, isn’t it? Buried in the things she knows people whisper about her and a thousand tiny microinteractions a day that drain her armor. Loves Julie, but is so isolated Julie is her entire world to an unhealthy, co-dependant, and worryingly usable/manipulatable and non-independent nature for Susie. Because she’s so desperate to keep her she’d do anything not to be alone. But the struggle to never be alone by chasing Julie’s shadow means there’s no time for Susie and her own hopes and dreams and choices and developing personhood. But the worst part is that she’s genuinely happy this way, trailing after the girl she loves, which makes it so hard for either of them to confront and stop even enough to just make it healthy again. But she’s built her whole identity on one person like a precarious janga tower that could fall any second if the wrong piece goes, and that can’t be sustained forever, and who is she when it does crumble?

Then you got Julie, hot, popular, ignored personality disorder, proud parents who want her to keep being ideal and their little princess, than can’t handle her as a teen when she’s not in the box they expected anymore and they can’t just live and be proud vicariously through her all the time. Hit puberty early & dated way too physically way too young with way too much older men. Hit on by teachers, by men three times her age in parking lots. Quickly taught it’s safer to say yes than no and sex and love are a battlefield where you use the other as a stepping stone & the trick is to manurver so you’re okay once it’s over and got something while it went on. Had fun being hot and physically developed young because she suddenly had admirers and people were nice, then realized way too late that it came with constantly being in danger and under pressure to keep performing sexiness, and there wasn’t a livable choice to back out and fail those expectations anymore & be okay in her social circles. Knows she’s not emotional or loving in the way her loved ones are distressed about it, but can’t tell why, and gives up trying to ‘fix it’ and just pretends she doesn’t care and leans into being the sexy bitch and the power that comes with it. Doesn’t even know who she is herself beneath any of the ways she lives anymore, maybe she just is the act, maybe that’s fine. Trusts no one and that’s fine it’s just smart. Caught between liking the power of sex and intelligence and coldness, and the emptiness of not really being somebody. Needs to be loved and idolised and eternally aware how much people would hate her for that if they knew it was the truth, so she just keeps it to herself and makes herself someone they have no choice but to love and adore, so it’ll all be okay. Caught between worried she is cold and unfeeling and selfish and proud, and liking the power that goes with that, and the lack of desire to change, and the fear she doesn’t know how to do it. So she mostly just doesn’t think about any of the turmoil anymore and lives Julie instead of being her.

Then you got Frank, tossed around a myriad of foster homes, stolen by the government from the only one he ever was loved in over race, abused in every way foster parents have learned to abuse the kids they were supposed to love, and convinced since he was a kid that he’s a bad seed and a monster at heart, until he leaned into the violence of that to protect himself when no one else did. Harsh and strong and a fighter, a survivor, lonely and a loner, too much past, no future, not much present. Angry, god, so angry, and nothing to do with it. No skills, or money, or future, or any of it. No love, no family. Just the things he taught himself to survive. Just a good liar, a good fighter, adaptable, fast, tactical, enduring. Knows how to pick locks and lift wallets and hoard food that is least likely to be noticed. How to vanish, how to look real scary and real big, how to get stabbed and get back up, and take a fall, and bide his time. How to find north. Which makes for a good what? A thug, a conman, a drug runner, a loan shark or a hitter or a bouncer maybe? A guard, a killer, a thief? No love, no ties, no one. And only a borrowed, angry, violent sense of self, and all the other versions that didn’t live to adulthood but aren’t quiet dead yet buried beneath it.

God, the opening line to the original lore for Darkness Among Us really was beautiful and memorable. The kind of first line you hope for. “Frank Morrison was ninteen, and had little to show for it.” Like, fuck. It’s so understated, and common, and painfully mundane, but that’s it, that’s his whole life. And how fucking painful that is. To be the end of teenagehood, stepping into adult life alone, and be able to be summed up in just eleven words, as a marker of your lived timespan up to now, and the annotation that you from all of it have gained almost nothing that could be worth any note. I fucking love that line. God. It’s so empty, and cruelly mundane and undramatic and unimportantly scored and marked, like it doesn’t even matter that he’s down nearly two decades of life with nothing worth taking into the next two.

Lord, all the Legion kids really do need help, and therapy, and like, one decent parental figure. Thank god for Jeff. He really is out here doing the real work. Love that man. TuT

And you’re right w Adiris lol. 🤣 It’s a mix of cats and dogs, magbe even. Some of them aren’t trouble, but oh, oh some most definitely are. Side note: I fkn just reallly love cats. Poor Adiris out here tryin her best, and I’m sure she does too.

[the-toppat-king]

Chapter Two: Small Steps

Right groaned as he came out of unconsciousness.

He flexed his fingers a moment before opening his eye.

Wait. Where was his other eye?

Suddenly the Toppat sat up, realizing he was not longer fully human. At least half his face was now covered in metal, and throwing off his blanket, he saw that his right arm and both his legs were gone, replaced with metal augmentations. Flexing his new hand a bit, he took a breath to calm himself down.

First things first, where was he?

Glancing around, Right saw that he was in the medical wing, and that Reginald was sleeping not far away in a chair. At first he was relieved seeing the leader unharmed, but he quickly realized that wasn't entirely the case. His throat was bruised, his hair was messy and he looked like he hadn't slept in days.

Right knew the moment he looked at him that he'd been defeated.

"...Reg?"

Reginald jolted awake at the sound of his voice, face immediately morphing into one of relief. He got to his feet, apparently trying to seem dignified as he walked over.

"W'at 'appened?" Right frowned as Reginald sat down in a closer chair.

"Henry caught me." Reginald sighed. "It was either give up leadership to him or be given to the government. Thankfully it seems at least some things haven't changed."

"Once a Toppat, always a Toppat." Right forced a laugh, but immediately knew that this was a bad situation. The last time they saw Henry was twenty years ago, when they killed Terrence. Henry had run away almost immediately after, and while they had searched for him there was no finding Henry when he decided to go missing.

Not to mention he and Right had actually fought. It was only Henry thinking to fight dirty and pulling a knife on him that he wasn't hurt.

"'E didn't...'urt you...did 'e?" Right asked, grabbed Reginald's hand. Reginald shook his head.

"He had me by my necklace. The bruise is from the pressure. I don't think he was trying to hurt me, or it would have been easy from that position." The former leader explained. He took a deep breath, rubbing it before meeting Right's gaze. "That...that Henry. That's not our Henry anymore. I can barely recognize him anymore."

"Reg, it'll be fine." Right replied. "I'm sure 'e's just a bit s'aken up from everything- like those government scum sending 'im in to do t'eir dirty work."

"Right, Reginald?" Sven's voice interrupted before Reginald could reply. "Henry is in his office. You should probably go show him the ropes. He's...acting skittish, for lack of better words."

Right groaned. So much for soothing Reginald's fears.

_________________________________________

In hindsight, Right wasn't sure what he expected.

At first when he saw Henry bent over a desk, muttering to himself with Terrence's old Top hat on his head, he thought he was seeing a ghost. Terrence could have never denied that Henry was his son.

"With Charles and the General this might be difficult." He was muttering in a hoarse, weak voice. Henry didn't use his voice much, but Right didn't think speaking should sound so painful. "I could probably drop them someone rural and lay low a few weeks, but that might piss off the Clan. But if I keep them with us the Government might come for them. Or at least for the General. Either way the Clan has to lay low and they're pissed that I saved two government officials instead of just letting-"

"Sir?" Sven spoke up.

Henry jolted, turning around, back to silence. Right rolled his eye, stepping forward. "'Enry, we ain't strangers, don't act lik-"

Suddenly the leader was on his feet, body tense. Both Right and Reginald froze, taking in his body language.

He looked like a cornered animal, every muscle tense and ready to either fight or flee. He glanced around for a possible exit before his eyes settled back on Right, Reginald and Sven, clearly untrusting. First Right felt nearly uncontrollable rage. What the fuck did those assholes tell him to make him act like this?

Henry must have noticed, because he took a few steps back, eyes narrow.

Second, Right doubted his earlier statement of "Once a Toppat, always a Toppat."

Toppats didn't act like this. They were typically dignified, cool under pressure. If they needed an escape they looked for one without giving themselves away. They didn't stand tense, waiting for the enemy to make a move before they reacted. They either shot or they got the hell out of that situation.

Their Henry acted like a Toppat.

This Henry didn't.

Of course Right recognized this body language. It was pretty common, especially with criminals on the street. Typically it was criminals and thieves who ran into fights a lot and so needed to be ready for a scrap.

He saw it in desperate, afraid people. The Henry he knew was neither.

Right took a step back, seeing Henry relax a little. Reginald is right. That's not our Henry anymore.

"Settle down." Reginald stepped forward this time, and Right noticed that Henry wasn't as tense. He's reacting based on threat level. He knows if it comes to a fight, he couldn't do anything against me, but Reginald isn't going to be as physical if it comes to a confrontation. He wasn't sure if he should be impressed that Henry was already taking mental notes or concerned because Henry obviously didn't trust his own high ranking crew. "Right isn't going to do anything."

"Do you see what I mean?" Sven sighed. "He can't seem to talk unless he's alone, he freaks if anyone approaches without a warning, he's acting like he doesn't know us."

Movement caught Right's attention, and he noticed that Henry was signing.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

"Then don't stare at us like a deer caught in headlights!" Sven shot back. "Henry, stop acting like we're strangers! Do you really think Reginald, Right or anyone else would hurt you?"

Henry's expression went from being annoyed to being...unsure for a complete lack of better words. Sven's shoulder's slumped.

"You...you don't trust us?"

"The last time I saw any of you," Henry signed slowly, seeming unsure of his word choice. "Was twenty years ago. I was six and had just witnessed my father being overthrown as leader of the Toppat Clan and shot in the head." He took a breath before adding: "I know now that Terrence was a terrible leader. But I didn't understand at the time and I didn't know what would happen to me. I still don't."

"You're not Terrence." Right spoke up. "W'y would we 'arm you for his terrible decisions? Especially twenty years later."

"I just burst in through the window in a giant hamsterball, tried to run you over, proceeded to stab you and push you off a bridge when I got the opportunity and took Reginald hostage. That's all just from one day. Why would you all not want to kill me?" Henry's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Not to mention I was working with the government? Okay I was kinda taken hostage-"

Right glanced at Reginald, mouthing a "why did you not fucking tell me this?". Reginald shrugged in response, looking a little helpless.

"-but a Toppat would never betray the Clan in the first place. I betrayed the Clan the second I deserted it, and I did it again when I tried following through with the Government's plan. The only thing stopping me was the fact that even if they kept up their end and pardoned my crimes I don't have anything to go back to." Henry seemed to deflate a bit. "No one would be stupid enough to hire a thief infamous enough for the Government to track down. The only jobs I could find were all as test subjects."

Right could tell the gears were turning in Reginald's head, and Right was figuring it out too.

Henry wasn't wrong.

His goals here were completely centered on self-preservation. Fleeing as a child when he thought his life may be in danger(which could be excused, Right supposed, still didn't look good), likely defaulting on theft to survive, the only thing he would have known how to do(and likely continuing to do so into teenage and adult years when people saw a bratty little thief rather than a kid who didn't know how else to get by), taking the deal the Government offered him for a chance at a life even slightly more sustainable than what he had now. Even accepting Reginald's last-minute bargaining, leader of the Toppat Clan was a safer, more stable life than anything else he could do with his reputation.

Toppats didn't act like that. They were actively disgusted by people who held their own lives as more important the the Clan's safety. It was one of many reasons why Terrence was overthrown- not caring about the Clan and prioritizing his own thrill over their safety.

The Clan already had every right to overthrow Henry. They had helped raise him, yes, but that meant his betrayal left a deeper wound than a stranger's.

Trust on both ends needed to be rebuilt, and it wasn't working with the way things were currently going.

"'Old on." Right suddenly spoke up. "I need a time frame. 'Ow long was I out?"

Henry sheepishly held up five fingers.

"Five 'ours?" That didn't seem right.

"Days." Henry signed.

Ah, that makes more sense.

"'Ave you interacted at all with the crew outside w'at was necessary?" Right crossed his arms.

Henry looked even more sheepish.

"'ave you even ate?"

"I managed to make him eat when Reginald handed over leadership since he was skin and bones." Sven spoke up. "Otherwise he hasn't touched anything."

Right sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I swear to God- Sven, go get something small for 'Enry, please. Just a sandwic' or something, because somet'ing tells me this c'aotic dumbass 'asn't been eating nearly enough and 'e needs to start slow.

Reginald sighed, swinging an arm over Henry's shoulder and sitting him back down as Sven left. "Henry, you need to trust Right, Sven and I. The Clan is willing to give you a shot as long as one of us higher members doesn't decide you're not fit to lead. But that means you need to work with us and stop being self-destructive." He looked up at Right. "Hey do we have anyone with a psychology degree or something? Henry's definitely going to need a therapist."

"Excuse me, I am not a child-" Henry signed, face red.

"T'en I don't suppose you're ready to open up about w'at the 'ell 'appened before you got 'ere?" Right asked.

Henry didn't have a response for that.

"T'at's w'at I t'ought." Right sighed. "I don't t'ink we 'ave a therapist, t'ough. Could you at least try opening up to Reg first? You don't need to tell 'im anyt'ing major if you aren't comfortable yet. But we've got to start somew'ere."

Henry sighed, nodding.

Something told Right that this would not be the last conversation they had of this nature, but he supposed it was good enough for now.

[palamig]

hi! i'm reading furuba and there's something i don't quite understand so can i ask you a little question? so after tooru fell and ended up in the hospital why does everyone acting so rude and accusatory towards kyo? saying it's his fault, he need to apologize etc. i suppose they are doing this to help (?) but it feels so hurtful... and overall i can't help but feel so sad for kyo during the progression of the story, people treat him so poorly and i barely see anyone actually being kind to him :(

Hello anon!! Thank you for this question!! The hospital arc is really the toughest one on kyo :( but it’s also the same arc that finally gave him a reality check. Kyo’s biggest flaw has always been that he’s too (unintentionally) self-absorbed with his issues. His struggle to deal and cope with his trauma has had a disastrous effect on his relationship with the people he interacts with like kyoko, kazuma (for that period in time he refused to let himself call kazuma as his dad), and to a really great extent yuki. It reached its peak at the hospital arc, when instead of accepting tohru’s feelings for him, kyo, blinded by a really awful mixture of guilt over kyoko’s death, his self loathing, and the sincere expectation that there was no other future for him except for being imprisoned for eternity, said some really terrible stuff to her

No one is truly, sincerely blaming kyo though. Cat boy really had too much stuff going in his head. The problem was, not only did kyo really really hurt tohru, because of his brooding, he ended up never going to the hospital to visit her at all. Whether or not for understandable reasons, it certainly pissed off a bunch of people. Yuki was the first one to confront him because at this point, he’s just fed up with kyo’s infinite problems.  Tohru fell from a cliff, sustained serious injuries, and is literally confined in a hospital!!!! Meanwhile kyo, the closest person to tohru, the person tohru’s so clearly in love with and vice versa “that it’s obvious even to a middle schooler”, is sulking around on the balcony like he was in some linkin park music video or something. Like what the fuck man!!!! What the fuk!

That’s how we got the oscar award winning Shut The Fuck Up scene on the balcony. Yuki got even more pissed when he found out that the reason why kyo didn’t go was because kyo blamed himself for tohru’s accident and he thought she’d be better off if he never came because all he ever did was hurt her. And honestly, if you’ve been watching your two housemates flirting and being gross like it’s no ones business for almost 2 years now, and you hear this kind of shit from one of them “im like..only hurting her dude…” you’d be super pissed too like im sorry kyo but its true

For the most part of the manga yuki’s been an unwilling spectator to most kyoru scenes, and a lot of people attribute this to him trying to understand the nature of his feelings for tohru—which is true! But when we finally get to the hospital scene, we also see that maybe a small part of that is also yuki’s slight frustration that he can’t make tohru happy the way kyo does. The Shut The Fuck Up Scene takes their mutual jealousy into its final form: because now it involves tohru.

At this point “jealous” isn’t the right term. More of, both of them sincerely believed that the other can treat tohru much better. But we see that this is an issue that affects yuki—their unwilling spectator—so much more, not only because of the way kyo hurt tohru, literally one of the most precious people to yuki, but also because of yuki’s awful history with kyo. A lot of people have already talked about this scene from the yuki and kyo perspective, so i’ll limit my discussion to what i believe is the kyoru aspect.

When Yuki kicks the wall and starts crying when he tells kyo “do you really think it would be the same if I were beside her?” — you know from the many panels we’ve seen of yuki watching kyoru flirting from afar or kyo noticing stuff about tohru yuki never noticed, he’d been thinking about this a lot. So kyo telling yuki that tohru would be much better off with him is, to yuki, a load of bull! fuckin! shit!. But poor cat baby is way too oblivious to notice just who exactly he was to tohru. To ignore tohru’s own feelings. How tohru sees him, and only him. There were some things only kyo can do. And the most effective way (possibly even the only way) to get stubborn kyo to finally understand it is thru some screaming and a nicely aimed punch on the face. Because this is no longer about kyo’s issues, this is also about tohru, her feelings, her loneliness,  her quiet struggle to fight for her favorite person and to save from his destiny as the cat. This scene was beautiful because yuki finally explodes, both for his own sake and for tohru’s.

And then there’s saki and arisa. I think saki and arisa were also rightfully pissed. Like, more than “rejecting” the girl u’ve been shamelessly flirting with for the last gazillion years, u just called tohru, the nicest purest kindest girl in the world “delusional” like boi???!? Let’s just say if kyo was just some other random guy he wouldn’t have come out of that confrontation at school alive. But because saki and arisa genuinely love kyo, they cut him some slack. While neither saki nor arisa knew about the curse and the imprisonment, both of them, especially saki (who has been reading kyo’s ~feelings~ since the first time they met) know that despite this one instance of him seriously hurting her feelings, kyo is a positive influence on tohru. There was really no other person for tohru than kyo. They wanted him to stop moping around and blaming himself. 

Saki told kyo that tohru wasn’t looking for an apology. What tohru really wanted was for him to return her feelings. Everyone and their mothers knows that kyoru is written in the stars; but kyo, way too absorbed with his issues, actively pushed her away, when he could have let her in. They wanted him to realize this for himself before they could let him see tohru again. And kyo knows deeply within himself that he needs to get his shit together. He didn’t need other people to figure that out for him, but what he does need is other people to drag his ass to finally get it done.

These three showed kyo some tough love during the hospital arc and i can understand why people might think kyo is getting too much bad treatment, especially in this arc. But personally i think these three did the right thing. Kyo needed to take a step back from the chaos in his mind and see the big picture; to see what he’s been desperately trying to avoid. Tohru’s out there ready to love him, and all he needed to do was to let her in. But cat boy is furiously stubborn there was really no other way to make him realize that than to be harsh on him

The hospital arc is one of my favorites because from there we see how kyo finds the courage to face the one person who was the root of all of his trauma—his biological dad—and come into terms with all of his complicated issues, even (and i really want to emphasize this) before akito told him that the cat room has been destroyed. He was willing to let go of his shackles to be with her, despite a future of being caged forever. All of it for tohru. So that when he finally saw her again, he’d be a man free from all the shit that had truly been imprisoning him all his life. So he could be with tohru, and she could be with him, with nothing holding them back.

Ahh there are so many more beautiful things about this arc but i hope this is a sufficient answer to your query!!

[decorativedust]

HNK chapter 80 thoughts + analysis

I’ve been marinating on this chapter for a few days, and I have some things in mind for it that I’d like to talk about. 

This is just my take on things, and how I’ve interpreted them: mostly phos, aechmea, cairngorm, a tad bit of dia, and my thoughts on the fate of the series. 

Warning for: talk of suicide, spoilers. 

so I have a few very specific things I want to cover: Phos, Aechmea, Cairngorm, Dia, and the fate of the series. 

We’ll start with Phos. 

Personally, one of the biggest draws and attachments for hnk was phos’s transition from a sweet, naive gem to a depressed, anxious, horrifically warped individual. There’s not a lot of series out there where you can actually see a character become changed so drastically in such an intricate manner. I find character development, as a whole, to be extremely interesting. 

Phos’s transition has been building up for the entire series. They kept growing stronger, learned more- but continued to fail over and over again. They tried to make an encyclopedia, and failed. They tried to find a job for shinsa, and failed. They tried to help bring Ventricosus home and got betrayed and lost their legs. They tried to save antarc, and failed. Ghost was abducted trying to save them. They lost nearly all of their body. They couldn’t bring back the ground up gems. Their night raid was a failure and might’ve killed padpa. 

They’ve had a few triumphs- becoming stronger (although I’m ultimately not sure how much good this led to), giving the gems on the moon potentially happier lives (?), and help uncover more of the truth of their world. The gem abductions have seemed to stop entirely. And cinnabar seems to have finally reintegrated back into gem society through their efforts. 

Ultimately though, phos’s life has become full of constant efforts sustained on hope and bravery that almost always end in failure. At the end of the day, how could you not snap? How could you not become a self-doubting, depressed mess? In a world where everyone has given up on you in your efforts to stop the cycle of suffering, how could you not become the despair-filled person that Phos now is? 

I hope they get a satisfying ending. Phos has been fucked over from the beginning. They’re far from perfect, but I believe the things that ultimately drive them are kindness and a desire to end this cycle of pain for everyone- and I think that’s important to keep in mind. 

Now let’s go to Aechmea. 

This man really is an absolute lying bastard, huh? 

There’s no doubt about it- Aechmea straight up lied to EVERYONE about the fate of the other two societies (admirabilis and gems). Honestly, I’m not even sure the lunarians knew about it. I don’t think they did- he genuinely ran lunarian society on the operation that the gems and admirabilis would be around after they disappeared. 

Aechmea gives no indication that the fact that adamant will pray away all remnants of humanity is new information. It serves in Aechmea’s favor that he doesn’t tell anyone, either. While there’s certainly a few gems who likely don’t mind this fate (yellow), i imagine the bulk of admirabilis and gems wouldn’t desire such a fate. And how would the lunarians feel, if they found out the gems and the admirabilis would go with them, especially now that gems and admirabilis have all been on the moon for at least several hundred years at this point? 

Aechmea didn’t care if they took all the gem dust on the moon and tried to reform the gems. Aechmea didn’t harm any of the gems on the moon. He stopped abducting gems. He listened to their demands. Because ultimately, it didn’t matter! None of it mattered, because they’d all die alongside the lunarians anyways! 

I suppose I can find sympathy in their reasons for wanting to cross over to the nothingness. But at the cost of two entire other species? At the cost of killing so many other living things who likely don’t want to die- who don’t even know the fate they’re getting? Is there really nothing else that can be done? You got any lunarian therapy up there? 

Its a hard thing to discuss. Obviously I’ll never know the feeling of being given the ability to live for eternity. Could they have not chosen to build some sort of positive relationship with the admirabilis and the gems, rather than terrorize and use both of them for their own purposes? 

It feels so selfish. I suppose that’s not surprising, given how selfishness is just part of being human- or the personality and essence of humanity, at least. While selflessness is good, we all need a little selfishness sometimes. We need to take time to ourselves and do things for our own goods, rather than contribute ourselves 100% to others and completely burn ourselves out. It seems lunarians (or at least Aechmea) have selfishness in spades, to the point of being utterly apathetic to the fate of gems and admirabilis. 

Now onto Cairngorm. 

They look terrified and horrified the entire chapter. 

Cairngorm is certainly no stranger to the concept of death. They had suicidal thoughts during phos’s first 200 year coma (right after they’d lost their head), they brushed by death when their outer shell (Ghost) was ripped away from their body. They’ve outwardly expressed before how they want to go with Aechmea into the nothingness, and yet- here they are. Not excited, not happy, not anything near positive. 

There’s a giant difference between saying “i will die with you/i want to die” and actually, genuinely embracing death. Its so easy to say something, but so much harder to actually do it, and I think this is when cairngorm is actually, fully realizing this. 

I don’t know whether or not they’re suicidal anymore, but I imagine not. This is probably the happiest they have been in their entire life. Imagine finally overcoming the desire to die, to find a place that makes you so happy - and then to realize that you’re about to lose it all and become nothing. 

If there was ever a time for cairngorm to go against aechmea, its now. If we ever have a moment where cairngorm realizes aechmea lied to them, where cairngorm is finally going to become their own person without being under the rule and command of anyone else, it is now. 

Personally, I’m hoping they’ll somehow attempt to interfere and try and stop Phos, but I’ll cover this more when I talk about the fate of the series. 

Now onto Dia! This is probably the most lighthearted part of the whole chapter. 

They’ve finally shined under their own light. 

This is going back waaaaaaay far into the manga (like chapter 3), but we’re finally seeing some sort of resolution to Dia’s desire to become good at their own thing, without always being second best to Bort. 

I feel like Dia and Phos, at this point, had very similar feelings. Both felt insignificant and useless as a result of not being as good as a fighter as their societal expectations hold them to- leading to feelings of self doubt, and the desire to become better. 

A lot of people have called Dia selfish, for wanting to go somewhere where there is no Bort. Perhaps, a little bit. However, I don’t think Bort was purposefully trying to ‘show off’ and show how much better than Dia they are. They seemed to just be doing it out of the desire to protect Dia. But ultimately, Dia still felt very second-best to them, despite the fact that Dia should’ve been one of the best themselves. Yet their partnership was suffocating for Dia, constantly under the shadow of Bort. It just simply wasn’t healthy. 

But now Dia has found a thing where they’re able to shine under their own light- an idol!!! They seem really happy doing it. They have a whole crowd of adoring fans, too. (blows a kiss to the moon) this is for u dia u fuckin get em 

Finally, onto the last point: The fate of houseki no kuni. 

This really feels like we’re so close to the end, doesn’t it? But how close to that end are we?  As most of us are aware, chapter 80 is just the first chapter in volume 10. So, I find it very hard to believe that Phos is going to be successful in this particular attempt to get sensei to pray. A maximum of 21 minutes is certainly not enough time to tie up all the loose plotlines. What happened to Yellow? To Padpa? How are the earth gems? What about all the stuff that was happening between Cinnabar and Phos? What about the professor? etc etc im probably missing a few things, but you get my point. 

Personally, I think there’s either going to be a gem that wanders out and sees phos going apeshit, and manages to stop them. Or, we’re going to get interference from Cairngorm. Right now Cairngorm seems the most likely candidate, despite the fact that they aren’t physically there. (Boy, if they do that though, I’m afraid to see how aechmea will react.) But I don’t really find it hard to believe that one of the earth gems will wander out, unable or unwilling to sleep. 

Phos, obviously, won’t stop. They haven’t stopped trying for hundreds of years, why would they stop now, unless somehow they also bypassed whatever was preventing sensei from telling them “hey, you’re gonna kill everyone so maybe chill out”. I find it unlikely Sensei would do anything, however. He’s seemed extremely passive towards the gems lately (the most violent he’s ever been towards them was when he yelled at original goshe and morganite and accidentally shattered phos in like.. chapter 1) and aechmea said it himself- he doesn’t seem to be resisting. 

Ending it here feels so.. messy. I like to have a little bit more faith in Ichikawa as a writer. I’ve decided to trust her because she’s written a lot of other things extremely well. Maybe I’ll be putting on my clown wig in a few chapters, but we’ll see. 

[fairycosmos]

ed tw/ i have an eating disorder and kinda wanna kept better but i absolutely do not wanna gain weight,, my family and relatives have pointed out how thin i am now and i feel like i made it a part of my identity. i feel so proud abt my jean size now and feel like i put a lot of value into my current weight. but at the same time i dont think im sick enough bc im not about to die but my hair is falling out and i feel dizzy/weak a lot. but also i hate myself bc i just ate a brownie and regret it

hey love, im really sorry to hear that. i know it's really really hard. :( i think the fact that you can admit to having an eating disorder is a positive sign. but the second part of that process is understanding that you seriously can not trust your own narratives about weight/food anymore, understanding that acting on self hatred as if it's the truth is what will lead to irreversible damage to your health. there is no 'sick enough', there is just having a problem, having it impact your life (which it clearly is) and knowing on a deeper level that you need help. and that you need to prioritize your safety over your temporary, skewed idea of beauty/control. your brain is trying to get you to push your own limits with lies and manipulative tactics, playing on your insecurities to make it all feel real. being able to identify when this is happening is a useful tool, and in time it will make things seem a lot clearer. because continuing to listen to those urges will be what seriously fucks you up the most. on a related note, your identity can not be watered down to the number on the scale or what you see in the mirror. you must try to remember that you contain multitudes, that you exist to be so much more than your body. your illness is a part of you, something you're experiencing, but it does not have an impact on your worth at all. nor on how interesting, funny, intelligent or beautiful you are. maybe you can't truly believe that in this moment but it'd be good to let the concept sit in your mind, day after day. you have a whole existence beyond this pain, and the ppl around you can see it even if you can't. you're not alive to deprive yourself of nourishment, you're not alive to be looked at and approved of..... the sense of happiness you feel when you've lost weight is nothing more than a smokescreen, briefly blinding you to the danger you're in. you've been taught your whole life to believe in it. but honestly, it doesn't compare to the true freedom and elation of learning to like your whole self. even if it's not easy, even if it seems impossible at times. i guess what im saying is that you are not well, dude. and that's okay. but now that you can recognise it, you must begin to act with your own best interest in mind. your best interest being sustainable inner peace and a steadily improving state of health. the thing about ED's is that it always comes back to that, no matter how many times you go through the cycle, in order to break it you have to do something to help yourself for real. and it never ends up being as scary as you think it's going to be. certainly not as scary as your hair falling out or freaking out over a brownie. you deserve so much than a life that is controlled by panic and arbitrary numbers, love. like i said, this is an illness. im not expecting you to suddenly get better, and you don't have to expect that of yourself. progress doesn't have to be fast or linear in order to count. but i really really urge you to talk to someone in your family about this and have them help you get in touch with a professional. they'll be able to help you figure out why this started, and what you can do about it. you just tell them what you told me. it's ok to cry, it's ok to take it at your own pace. there's no wrong way to reach out, as long as you always keep it as a viable option in your head. cause the way i see it, you either do if of your own accord, or they find you collapsed someday, and it still ends the same way. im not saying that to scare you, im just trying to level with you rn because this is very worrying. especially when i know you're capable of opening up and slowing implementing healthier routines into your daily life, one step at a time. it doesn't have to be a big deal to tell them, ok? i really hope you're able to do what's right for you because ultimately that's what matters, that's what will get you to where you need to be. you're genuinely not alone and you don't have to fight this as if you are. im rooting for u, please let me know if you ever need a friend or if you want to talk. sending love. it's going to get get easier. ❤️

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

going off the back of that post that i reblogged last night about being a virgin/not dating/not having had a relationship by your 20s should be normalised and not shamed.... i thought I’d make a separate post bc meh anyway.

but yeah going off that post, I hate how when I was 17/18 and 18/19 when I had guys approach me on facebook for sex/a relationship/to date etc the question i had the most from all of those men (who at the time were in their early-to-mid 20s) was “are you like waiting for marriage or some stupid fucking bullshit for losing your virginity? like why the fuck haven’t you slept with someone yet? you’re 17-19! you’re obvs broken and let me/us (the us part was when it was 2 dudes, one trying to set me up with his friend) fucking fix you! what the fuck?” and then obviously that rant devolved into my typical point of “you should’ve fucked someone by the time you were 15!” bullshit rant that all of these men rattled off after the marriage/virginity question.

but no. i’m not waiting for marriage to have sex/lose my very non-existent purely social construct virginity. no. i’m not waiting for it to be “special” bc I know a lot of losing your virginity is MEANT to be awkward and funny and uncomfortable, unlike all the media around it making it seem seamless and perfect half the time.

but you know what I’m waiting for? a person that fucking respects that, in a sense. a person who doesn’t fucking think their stupid fucking mostly good-for-nothing genitals (ok in these cases it obvs a dick) will magically control me and “make you (me) into a real woman who loves real dick, real men, and real sex” which is something that “I’ll give you sex lessons in my car” guy literally said to me in 2014 when he was angry at me for not having lost my virginity by 18/19. im waiting for just like the bare minimum respect level that SO MANY MEN fucking refuse to fucking meet that it makes me fucking sick.

warning: this next part mentions suicide/self-harm.

like y’all I went through a lot with my stalker constantly harassing me with his “will you fucking hurry up and fucking consider that wonderful weekend of sex down the coast, so that I can be the first to have your virginity???!!! (and also so that I don’t try and kill myself, you selfish bitch!)” act. like why in all honest fuck would I give it to a guy that consistently threatened me with his suicide/generally threatened self-harm each time I refused to touch him? why would i give it to the guy who made me terrified that he’d punch me in the face if i ever called that bullshit out or generally criticised his behaviour in any way, shape, or form???? why would i give it to the boy who DEMANDED in first two days of knowing me, that i “hurry up and get on the pill so that I can fuck you!” and then followed that up with refusing to use condoms and then the “we’ll get married & have kids one day bc you’re girlfriend material” line, as if he was going to trap me at 16 with a kid to be his baby mama, and then never let me go to uni etc bc i obviously had to be stuck with the kid while he fucked off and fucked around with other girls.

like y’all 16 year old me mentally read my stalker for fucking FILTH each time he pulled his bullshit acts. she knew that he was abusive/manipulative/controlling etc. why the FUCK would she give him the satisfaction of “being the first to fuck you (her)” like she was some gatekept special unicorn or other fucked up shit???? virginity is used to control women by these creepy manipulative men. and the men mentioned in the first half of this post all were like “like yeah he sounds fucking yikes, but you should’ve just fucked him anyway; to be normal and to not be a fucking stuck up, frigid virgin bitch like you are now! you should of just given the guy a chance!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬 maybe he would’ve treated you right if you fucked him and gave him what he wanted!!!! lower your fucking standards!!!!😡” like no????????? and y’all are really going to excuse suicide threats/self-harm threats and other violence towards women, over a woman not having lost her virginity yet???? what THE ACTUAL FUCK IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU?????? you are MOTHERFUCKING TRASH and you need to FUCKING LEAVE.

then yes there was the less yikes clear braces guy at catholic school. but all the same. 14/15 year old me DID NOT LIKE HIM in that way at all. I didn’t want to fucking touch him, because everything about him disgusted me (which was super fucking rude I’ll admit, but yeah).

but why the fuck was she expected to give up her virginity/have a relationship at all etc with a boy that she NEVER had feelings for???? why was she ALWAYS dismissed (typically more often by male students, but also by some female students and then eventually teachers) when she said she didn’t like him???? and even after she fucking dumped him???? WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO BELIEVE GIRLS/WOMEN when they say that they DON’T LIKE and NEVER LIKED someone?????

but other than that, why was I expected to give myself to him??? I had boys who always said to me “I bet you’d love licking the shit out of his braces. yeah get that nasty shit out of there for him with your tounge... I bet you dream about it” and other vile shit about this guy’s psoriasis etc, and other shit like that for 3 straight fucking years..... and then those boys fucking wondered why i’d fucking slap them and storm out of fucking class.... and then they always pretended to act all nice after it. why the FUCK was i expected to endure that?????

this is the relationship where the WHOLE year group pressured me into it (or at least I felt super pressured by my entire year) bc even the other half of the year started to harass me about it. whenever i told anyone to fuck off about it, they’d just push it harder. it was a fucking mortifyingly awkward and awful relationship where i never answered his texts.... where he would spell my name wrong although I was his “best friend” (although yes autocorrect but you wouldn’t over sight that in a text to your girlfriend, right?) and where I constantly faked sick or totally ignored his advances for dates...... by actually going over my friends houses, instead of going to the movies with him.... and then when he moved schools at the end of 2010 I felt like it was my fault bc I’d dumped him???? so he’d lost a good friend after that??? idek man teenagers suck lmao

but in the whole story about clear braces guy, I think you can see the underlying thing there was that i OBVIOUSLY wasn’t ready for a relationship, and honestly I don’t think this guy was either..... considering that when he asked me out over the phone he seemed awkward about it I suppose.... like we’d been pressured into FOR 3 YEARS of constant harassment from our year group..... so he felt like he HAD to ask me out finally. and then when he made it “facebook official” i gagged... and then snapped and then yelled at him. i was fucking livid. i cringed at the couple selfie he took of us at the end of one PE lesson after the “fb official” disaster. it was a fucking nightmare lmao.

can y’all see that this SHOULD NOT HAVE FUCKING HAPPENED AT ALL if we’d just left been left fucking alone to be friends that talked every day???? like yes he had his story of having a crush on me since the start of 2008/year 7, but I always felt nothing like that for him. EVER. we were just two metalhead friends bonding over parkway drive and marilyn manson and emo kids bonding over adtr and other bands which everyone else was into anyway.

like I did feel sorry for him in my class bc no one would sit with him, bc he was a bit weird (the braces thing didn’t help him either). he talked to me too bc most of my class was scared of me and my very dramatic screaming matches with teachers/emotional outbursts that would get me sent out of so many classes for most of year 7. but i always, ALWAYS saw us as just friends. basically it was just my group that believed that I didn’t like him (well eventually) bc they always got up and moved away whenever braces dude came to sit with me at at lunch/recess. like my group was embarrassed for me or something???? idek man.

but yeah. my point with braces guy is that why fuck should I have been pressured into that??? and ESPECIALLY why the actual fuck did it have to be a fucking whole year group level of sustained harassment for 3 straight years, where on every fucking level I WAS FUCKING IGNORED by everyone????.... and where that sustained harassment made me feel as though if I’d said no, i would’ve been called a selfish bitch/whore/slut bc teenagers are dumb as fuck. like even teachers started pushing it from time to time by 2010. i fucking hated it. why should a teenager be harassed ON THAT LEVEL FOR THAT LONG while still being invalidated..... and then still be expected to have a good view of relationships and sex exploration after that???? like it warped my views so much.... and then gave me a big part of a horrible fucking year long depressive episode in 2011..... and also gave me a weirdly obsessive and deathly obvious crush on one of the very popular pretty boys who had pushed me into that relationship anyway.... especially when that said boy gave me a flirtatious comment when I was “going out” with braces boy. like how the fuck is any of that healthy???? why was I expected to lose my virginity to someone I never had feelings for in the first place????

so yeah. this is my view on why people never having had a relationship/never had sex/not lot their virginity by their 20s should be a more normalised thing not to be shamed for...... and why teenagers should NEVER be harassed to have relationship that they don’t want, fucking period. just relationships in high school are fucking awful.

[little-forget-me-not]

I had 3 emails to send out this week...and I finally, FINALLY managed to write up and send one ;;;; I finally managed to do SOMETHING. It took me 6 days to write one email but I did it, I did it. im not fucking garbage. I hate that that’s how I think of myself apparently. I hear the inner critic sneering at me, “You are fucking garbage for taking so long just to write an email and send it. Regular people do that shit 10 times within the hour.” But she’s wrong. I know I’m struggling and I shouldn’t dismiss my efforts.

My love for myself seems to be conditional. If I can function, that is the base requirement to be worthy. Which is really bad for me. The way I talk and care for myself seems to be a mix of how I was I brought up...and it translates to very harsh, negative, unkind, critical and neglectful self-dialogue. Which is...really harmful. 

I have all these expectations of myself that I kind of expect myself to be able to do, to know how to do, and to just...do, and if I do, it is the bare minimum, and that's when I'm deserving to exist and be acknowledged. But still not deserving of hugs, affections, praise....that's only for the really good stuff that's not in my usual repertoire. And if I can't do it then well, I'm punished, shamed, criticized. And for the most part, I'm not...loved. And I’m continuing to perpetuate this as I continue to grow and...that’s not what I want. I fought through my childhood and raised myself up to be someone who could accept and practice self-love. I think I got it more when I had God on my side. Now I’m just not doing a very good job, especially with...depression just...claiming me. It can’t claim me. I’m stronger than it. I have to be, right? I gotta.

But maybe I’m going about it the wrong way. It’s always been about building myself up higher so when I fall, it won’t seem too bad because I won’t have too much of a climb back up. But...but when it all crumbles down. God. Everything’s falling apart. I can’t keep at it much longer. There’s no structure, no concrete, physical hope and change and...I can’t....sustain this terrible, terrible way of being. It’s killing me. It’s really, really killing me. 

Building myself up with strength, what I believe is “right”, and keeps me above the fray. Gives me space and energy to try and carefully let people in because it puts me in control, gives me the illusion that I’m capable and functional so people can see this image of myself that I’m okay with being let seen because, yes...flawed, yes broken, but trying, fighting, hardworking, strong. But maybe it’s not so sustainable. Because when I’m truly needing help and needing people, needing vulnerability, I cannot quite feel safe and there is so much shame in reaching out for help and being judged. And most of the judgement comes from me and the criticism from my family and their circles that I have internalised for over two decades. I can’t talk to my family or most adults here for help because all I hear is the “you should/you can’t/don’t”...”don’t think like that, don’t be like that, you can’t be like this/you must” and then the weight of our capitalistic society weighs down on me and everywhere I look it screams that I am not allowed to live I have to survive because I don’t have a choice and I don’t want that I cannot do that anymore. I’ve been surviving since I was a kid. I cannot keep at it. I just don’t have the ability anymore. I don’t. I cannot live like that. I cannot live without hope. I cannot survive all alone.

I need help.

I need it. I needed it always. But I always pushed through. Always took it upon myself. Fight through it. Be strong. Don’t give up. Smile. Have gratitude. Give thanks. Count your blessings. Have hope. It’s going to be okay. Through every trial, every heartbreak, every stress, every wound. I’ve done it all alone.

But now I can’t.

I almost wished I’d asked for help before. But I was too stubborn, too proud, and I truly believed I was enough. I could do it. I’d always done it. Why would it be different.

But now, out of my childhood, teenhood...I feel so weak. All that power that got me through those years....I used it up. I’m completely spent now. And now it seems like it’s not appropriate for someone my age to ask for help or to feel as helpless as a child. It’s not “right”. It’s shameful. You should buck up, keep your head down, suffer alone and quietly and grit your teeth through it. Don’t complain. Don’t be weak. 

But I can’t. I don’t think that’s right anyway.

That’s not what life is about.

It’s about people. And people are supposed to help one another and make things brighter, more hopeful. It’s about passing on that light, candle to candle, lighting up a horribly dark world. It’s about hope. It’s always about hope. It has to be.

I didn’t grow up on faith, hope, love, determination, never giving up and the power of connections for nothing. Those got me through the darkest days. Those saved me. Those are the reason why I’m not dead right now even though it breaks my heart for me to know that there are so many times in a day I wish I was.

The work starts from within. I know it. And I know I need some form of external guidance and help. Because I really can’t do it alone this time. I’m losing it. I’m losing myself. It breaks my heart. I don’t want to be so unkind to myself just because it’s what I believe is. Just because of all the internalised unkindness and screwed up upbringing of abuse and neglect. I know everything is hopeless right now. I know I’m grieving so deeply. I know my spirit is so goddamn broken and devoid of hope, it can barely breathe anymore. I know I’m dangerously close to something really bad.

I know myself. I knew myself. I understand why I struggle. I cannot keep dismissing it and being unkind to myself. It’s so hard to love oneself through the bad times. But that’s what I gotta do. I gotta be here for myself. Even if no one else can be. ...and if I’m clear-headed enough, I’ll see that there are people who care. I shouldn’t take them for granted in my grief and pain and self-loathing and doubt.

...

this is the lowest I’ve ever been in my life.

it truly terrifies me.

but the subtext is hope

there’s always hope

there has to be

i don’t want to give up yet.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p12 reaction

Back to Earth C presumably.

I gotta say, I'm curious to find out the final page count of Meat. The way we liveblog, the experience is stretched out, so with theories surfacing and such, we might be caught off guard when things are really over. There's only so far that things will be taken, though I guess we're still in for those "original Male/Female characters", I guess. :P That shouldn't refer to the new Reload timeline John created, I think, with copies of all the people mentioned in the rest of the character list. So, uh, yeah, guess the reason Arquiusprite wasn't mentioned in there was because he remained unseen, voided out if you will. And I guess we shouldn't expect an alternate Equius to have a talking role, either?

---

==>

Well! Talk about jumping straight into the action, this page opens with a dialoguelog! Back to Dave, Karkat and if my eyes didn't deceive me, we'll get some lines for Jade, too! Supportive Jade will be supportive.

"hit jane right in her neoliberal austerity measures" ... Hah. Well, I didn't think that would get referenced again at all, but it seems after all these years since John's 18th birthday Dave still has issues with the ol' N.A.M. So, Jane's a neoliberal AND a fascist now, Dave? Is that... even feasible?

"DAVE: now shes gonna spin some shit about supply side economics but we cant let her control the narrative on that one cause the first thing thats gonna happen once she begins deregulating the baking industry is that some sweet dumb crocodile down in consort land is gonna start putting sparkle glue in the cupcake mix which isnt even the real issue thats just surface issues KARKAT: RIGHT. JADE: definitely" ... Like, Dave I admire you're getting so into this, but you realize they aren't following, right? Also, why would Jane want to deregulate the baking industry if she's the leader of the foremost power in said industry, as well as running for president? Plus, Jane can't control the narrative because Caliborn is already controlling it! :mspa:

"DAVE: i mean earth c has just been play acting capitalism the last five thousand years while we timeskipped ahead to live rad lives as gods without bothering with any of the boring shit that goes into making a civilization DAVE: which is fine i mean you cant really expect a bunch of teens who didnt finish middle school to set up a sustainable form of social democracy that isnt just blatantly ripped off whatever we incorrectly thought obama god rest his soul was doing back in the day" ... Gee, Dave's given this a real lot of thought. Props to him, but I hope that aside from becoming 'an activist' he's also got some legitimite action points to improve Earth C's situation.

Guess Sburb really does a number on players, huh? "Congrats, you won, you're all gods now, and also, here's this whole civilization on the brink of collapse, have fun with that. Don't mess this up, I need those people to start the apocalypse in say, 2000 years, k thx bye." (The fact that this civilization, being outside of the Green Sun's influence, may never implement Sburb, is a bit besides the point since I think the trolls would have had the same issue tossed onto them had they actually gone through the victory door.)

Right, but the trolls had their home planet already effectively run by children, I wonder if that will come again? Even though they had carpenter droids at their disposal to run some things for them, they might actually be a bit more self-reliant than the humans!

"DAVE: but janes got this old school mentality you just know she wants to restrict grist alchemy for the sake of “growth” and when that goes down itll take three seconds flat for some nobody in new dersetown to drop the earth c communist manifesto" ... New Dersetown, I like the ring of that. Would call it New Dersey for short, though. :P Again, valid points there, Dave! If any revolt started, it doesn't have to be in the troll community, it could just as much be an angry carapace uprising! They're only docile if there's no one to rally behind.

Blaperile has this idea that the new society in a universe is not supposed to be seeded with the remains of the session nor the universe that came before it. That's actually a valid point; the only reason this society got kickstarted was through the cloning apparatus that was on the meteor! The consorts and carapaces seem like they would be able to reproduce biologically though, so I'm not sure how Sburb normally ensures the planet is a clean slate for a new species to emerge. ... Okay, so the planet itself doesn't really need to be the place where a new Sburb-playing species rises, true. There's a whole new universe out there.

Maybe through "importing" old Sburb technology, the "alpha" planet designation went to Earth C automatically, though.

Or maybe First Guardians are expected to 'cleanse' the planet from outside influence normally, but since this society's outside of the Green Sun's influence, that ain't happening. And Jade won't be going Thanos on Earth C.

"KARKAT: OH YEAH. JADE: of course DAVE: are you two even listening or are you just making noises with your mouths" Dave realizing he's monologuing? What character development is this. :O

"KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M BEING ACCUSED BY DAVE STRIDER, REIGNING EMPEROR OF SPEWING ENDLESS VERBAL DIARRHEA DIRECTLY INTO MY INNOCENT HEAR DUCTS EVERY DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE, OF MAKING THOUGHTLESS MOUTH NOISES. KARKAT: JADE, ARE YOU HEARING THIS? JADE: im scandalized JADE: especially when JADE: there are much better things we could all be doing with our mouths....." ... Jade, your animes are showing again. ... I think that maybe Jade doesn't want this relation to be going where Dave and Karkat want it to go.

"It’s been a really nice day they’ve been having, and then Jade had to go say something like that. The air in the hive changes in a way that is palpable, in a way that she can’t seem to accurately gauge despite having both superhuman and superdog senses." ... Ah. So I guess maybe Jade just can't get a lid on some of her more... canine inclinations, at time. Welp!

"Elements of her outfit resemble her god tier jammies: peasant skirt, sparkly flats, and a bold choice in striped tights." Nice! That's only the third person who created an outfit based on her god tier outfit that we know, aside from Meenah and Rose.

"the couch where she crashed last night, and the night before that, and the better part of the seven years before that." It would seem Jade has the wanderlust then, she's more like the vagrant dog that comes visiting from time to time? More GCAT in demeanor than Becquerel, in practice. Heheh. Good for her, after being isolated on an island and then a battleship for so long, she's finally going out & seeing things!

"There are other personal effects of hers in the living room too: plants on the windowstill, her bass guitar sitting in a corner" Cool, so when she comes over, she typically lounges here then. Guess the flute never made it over, though. :p

"a horrific-looking periodic table that Dave made her for her seventeenth birthday pinned above the stairwell. He typed it in Comic Sans, and then deep-fried it to oblivion with JPEG artifacts." ... Next up, on For Fans By Fans...

"And Dave, with his preternaturally perfect timing, sweeps a hand over his tablet to bring up a new PowerPoint slide on the TV. He returns to his Comic Sans-written political presentation, gruesome artifacts and all" Dave, Dave that isn't professional at all!

", with the grace and proficiency of a man who has diffused an awkward situation in his own household many times per day, every day, for many years." Well, okay, that is really mature. But when Dave is the adult in a situation, the situation is very awkward per definition.

"DAVE: alternia: brutal eugenics based space dictatorship KARKAT: NOT UNTRUE." Succinct, brutal, but not dishonest.

"DAVE: troll homeworld: lord of the flies nightmare scenario where kids murder each other just to get the chance to get to grow up and murder other aliens instead KARKAT: IT WASN’T THAT BAD." Karkat. Karkat that isn't a valid rebuke.

"KARKAT: YOU MADE THAT LAST ONE UP. KARKAT: ALSO, IT WAS DISGUSTING?? KARKAT: GROW THE FUCK UP, YOU UTTERLY CONTEMPTIBLE, POTTY MOUTHED *CUNT*." ... The irony is stark.

"JADE: also you know trolls dont actually have two dicks dave thats an offensive stereotype" Are we really doing troll anatomy? Well, I guess it's good to know that the fan theory about Sollux at least isn't applicable to the entire species.

"DAVE: trolls: literally ate babies KARKAT: ONLY THE DEFECTIVE ONES. DAVE: like you my dude KARKAT: ...YEAH. DAVE: so thats why our campaign can work" Yeah, Karkat ate grubs, though they weren't troll babies. Also, yeah, Karkat was a mutant, but I wonder if that would really help his case here.

"DAVE: btw im gonna be giving a long form exam at the end of this to make sure youre retaining info because this is only like the most important thing weve ever done collectively" Well he ain't wrong.

"KARKAT: ARE YOU ASKING ME WHETHER I’VE HEARD THIS EXACT SPEECH ALMOST WORD FOR WORD, INCLUDING REHEARSED VERSIONS OF BOTH THE COLORFUL METAPHORS AND “JOKES,” TEN OR TWENTY TIMES ALREADY? KARKAT: BECAUSE THE ANSWER WOULD BE KARKAT: YES, OF COURSE I FUCKING HAVE." Poor, poor Karkat.

"Karkat elbows Dave in the thigh, a move that is obviously meant to be an action of pure, brotherly jest. But instead it comes off as affectionate and overly intimate. Jade’s clever eyes don’t miss this. Her pupils follow the motion of Karkat’s arm, and then they follow the movement of Dave’s mouth as he smiles in what he probably thinks is a totally neutral expression that reveals exactly 0% of his true feelings toward Karkat Vantas. In reality, his veneer is as thin and transparent as cellophane. He is the only person who can’t see through it.

Jade does some calculations in her head. Two kinds of calculations, in fact: mathematical ones and personal ones." So, is Jade reading too much into their relationship, or are the dudes just... Both too shy?

"JADE: soooooo JADE: do you want a projection of her first years hit on the economy down to the decimal with a 0.3% margin of error JADE: because thats a thing i can do if itll make you stop talking about this stupid election for ten minutes" I didn't know that were First Guardian powers! :p I suppose it might be her natural intellect though, but we've only known her as the hands-on science type until now.

"She proceeds to dazzle the two boys with explications on complex math utilizing taxation rates, GDP figures, and some damned thing called the “Laffer curve,”" Dang, Jade is as much committed to this as Dave! (Or maybe she learned all this because it means so much to him, that could be it too!)

"The thing about Jade Harley is that she’s not as good at personal things as she is at other things. Like science, or mastering fraymotifs, or kissing, the last of which she has definitely put a lot of levels into over the past few years because, well, what else are you supposed to do with immortal godhood once you hit the age where the dog hormones start kicking into overdrive?" Guess for dogs, kissing isn't that personal. :p And well, I guess Jade's only now learning the real consequences of turning into a real-life furry. At least she won't have had lack of candidates to practice kissing with. She might even have become the Witch of Spacing Out Young Adults.

"Her high-prescription lenses make her eyes look anime-huge. They might literally be glittering, she’s so completely serious about the issue she is trying to stress." And the fan artists rejoiced for all the new descriptions they have to work with!

" JADE: im about to lay out some cold hard evidence so pay attention! KARKAT: OH, HANG ON, LET ME GET A PEN." You can't live together with Dave for years without learning when it's time to start taking notes and grab a fucking pen.

"JADE: evidence about..... JADE: our relationship! KARKAT: FUCK" Pfff, okay, never mind. I think Jade might have hit a wall several times over before, trying to either define their relationship or take it to the next level. These dudes are really sensitive about their feelings, after all.

But it would be interesting, learning Jade wants to know where they stand just as much as the outside world does.

"JADE: you let me live in your hive when im in town KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE... JADE: im preeeetty intimately entwined in both your lives KARKAT: THAT YOU’RE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS? JADE: AND you dont disengage from about 86.234% of my flirtations KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP TRACK OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT? JADE: so....... are we doing this or not?" So, just like with taking on Lord English and acknowledging the lit fuse that is Earth C society, I guess the coming around of April 13th 2019 is when Jade had enough of all this silly business and wants to know what's what. (Also, I suppose the level of intimacy they shared on beforehand will be left to speculation.)

"KARKAT: DOING WHAT?! JADE: dating dummy!!!!!!!! KARKAT: OH. KARKAT: THAT IS KARKAT: THAT IS... A COMPLICATED TOPIC IN MY CULTURE THAT I’M NOT SURE HUMANS ARE EQUIPPED TO TALK ABOUT." Smooth, Karkat, real smooth. Maybe Karkat fears commitment will lead to some of their relationships shifting into other quadrants. And he wouldn't like to be moirails or auspistices with either of them.

"DAVE: also totally unrelated to the economy" ... Nice try Dave, but I think this can't be steered back into that track.

"DAVE: which not gonna lie is the only thing i want to talk about for uh DAVE: for however long it takes for this other conversation to stop happening JADE: so say no!!! DAVE: well KARKAT: UHHHHH JADE: im not just forcing this conversation for my sake! its for you two as well JADE: i mean after all this time have you two even kissed yet?????? DAVE: wha" I think Dave and Karkat might actually have been both content to stay uncommitted and fearful to put a label on it. Also Jade's question will presumably remain unanswered, it's already surprising it's confirmed she hasn't seen them kissing. And that is ignoring the matter of whether either Dave or Karkat kissed Jade before. I guess it's only fortunate for this situation that this instance of Jade never dated Davesprite, it would only complicate things further.

"DAVE: wha KARKAT: WH-WHY WOULD DAVE: uhh KARKAT: WHY WOULD WE KISS?? DAVE: thats KARKAT: THAT’S... YOU... I MEAN, HE’S... HE’S DAVE. DAVE: we KARKAT: AND I’M KARKAT." PFffffffff, hilarious! I can just see them blushing like tomatoes right now. Can't keep staying in denial bros!

"JADE: yes hes dave and youre karkat and everyone we know always calls you that JADE: “dave and karkat”" Hah! Yeah, but they also think you're part of the item, Jade. Care to shed some thoughts on the subject?

"JADE: i cant remember the last time i heard anyone mention one of you without the other JADE: the two of you have basically been together since your days on the meteor its SO obvious" Jade has turned this from a personal matter into a fandom matter. "Everyone and their dog knows you're dating, guys! Stop pretending otherwise!" It's interesting to note the different ways Dave has been seen handling relationships. When he dated Terezi in the GO timeline, it went south due her troubles in the black quadrant. When Davesprite dated Jade, it went south due to unresolved Dave issues, presumably having to do with his bros. With Karkat, Dave's been in a stable-ish thing for the longest time, though.

" KARKAT: VERY CLOSE FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER ON A DEEP AND EMPATHETIC LEVEL THAT GOES BEYOND HATE OR PITY. YOU COULD EVEN SAY THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP... KARKAT: ...TRANSCENDS QUADRANTS." ... PFfffffff, so this could have been what it was like for the Sufferer and the Disciple, then! They were just never ready to commit? That would actually be funnier than it being this deep and fulfilling relationship. It would also make Doc Scratch' misgivings on the relationship even more hilarious.

"JADE: yeaaaaaah not gonna lie karkat but that sounds totally kinda gay KARKAT: UGH YOU HUMANS AND YOUR UNFATHOMABLE GENDER BASED QUADRANTS." ... Heh. Actually. Too trolls, the whole gender-based romance thing we have going must indeed be as unfathomable as leprechaun romance.

"Jade faceplams." Well that's a new verb. ;) What part of the body is the 'plam', exactly?

" KARKAT: ANYWAY WEREN’T YOU... DATING THAT CARAPACIAN COUPLE? LAST TIME WE CHECKED?" Lolwut. Jade. Jade are you... are you being a Ms. Casanova, a paramour or two in every city you frequent? If WV and PM turn out to be alive for the sole purpose of dating Jade, I'll choke on my drink.

" DAVE: wait you saying we arent fun JADE: whens the last time either of you left the house??????" I know Jade means it as in, she'd like to date them for keeps. But I also fulheartedly believe Dave and Karkat can sustain themselves on delivery pizza and chinese chow.

"In her other hand, she tries to grab Dave’s wrist, but he flash-steps to the other side of the couch." Well that's a new use of the power, guess Dave must really have felt alarmed. :p

"JADE: i wanna try dating for real KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY TOTALLY BLOWS YOUR MIND KARKAT: DATING A SINGLE PERSON, FOR MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, FOR REASONS OTHER THAN INITIATING THE CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS?" Karkat is trying to throw the issue back into Jade's face by saying she should try dating for a longer period of time. But that's exactly what she's trying to do here! She knows who she wants that with! That poor little troll, he's not getting out from under this.

"JADE: third of all karkat arent you from a culture where people are expected to engage in romantic relationships with up to like five people at a time?? KARKAT: THAT’S NOT KARKAT: THAT’S NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL." If he's trying to avoid getting dragged into quadrants with people, he should stop upholding the validity of the quadrants to hold people off. :p

"DAVE: ok jade i think theres a flaw in your approach here cause you seem to think winning an argument on super clever logical grounds is gonna get a couple dudes to break down and fling themselves at you in like, a sexual way JADE: wellll it usually does ;B DAVE: oh my fucking god" So she swoons people by way of her big brain. Jade's got CLASS.

"This earns Dave a look. A long, sad one that has Jade messing with her glasses again so that she can peer right at him and apply some more of that faulty personal math to his facial expression." Just confirmation here that Jade isn't necessarily correct in all her assessments due to not being objective.

"JADE: dave are you in love with obama? DAVE: jade jesus where do you get this shit from JADE: is it about jesus then??????" Aaaaaand this has been derailed again.

"DAVE: no! DAVE: jesus wasnt even real JADE: i know he wasnt real! JADE: wait... JADE: are you saying JADE: obama was real? DAVE: ... DAVE: yes" Wut. Wai- I- Jade. Honey. Please. Guess for all her involvement in politics since, those isolated years on the island sheltered her WAY too much.

"DAVE: obama was real DAVE: he was the president KARKAT: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JADE: all this time i thought obama was like JADE: an aspirational fictional character that you modeled your life after KARKAT: AHAHAHAHA I CAN’T AHAHA BREATHE... JADE: like snoop dog or nicolas cage" ... Jade. Jade no. You're just making this worse on yourself. For Jade, there would have been almost nothing in Homestuck she'd have seen as a reference to 'real life', would there?

"senary numeral systems that allow me to do complex equations in my head" ... Why is Base 6 good for complex equations? I'm probably not good enough at math to know.

"KARKAT: WHY IS IT LIKE SOME SORT OF *TRAGEDY* HOW SHE WAS RAISED? KARKAT: BECAUSE SHE WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIMAL?? KARKAT: *I* WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIMAL!" There! It's getting acknowledged again, how Jade's upbringing more resembles a troll than a human's! Becquerel the lusus.

"There’s a ripple in the room that makes it clear their god tier powers have just clashed against each other. He shifts his arm through time and Jade warps the space around them so that she’s the one holding the tablet. This is not the first time that they have rearranged the fabric of reality for a petty reason like this. Karkat has permanently sworn off playing board games with them." ... Lol. First real use of the god tier powers in Earth C, and it goes like this! Wait, couldn't Jade have snapped... Right, no, she actually wouldn't have First Guardian powers anymore now, I forgot. Still, what did Dave try to do, move the tablet to another point in the timeline?

"The moment Jade brings the paint program up on the television, Karkat stops laughing. KARKAT: NO!" Oh boy. Time for the Penis Quadrant scene, this time with three people. ... This would actually fall under both definitions of a "sketch", actually.

"He tries to grab the tablet from her, but she’s hovering well above the ground and he simply is not tall enough to reach. With a shit-eating grin and deliberate care, Jade begins to draw a grid." He's going to jump up to grab her leg, to disturb the drawing, isn't he?

"She gives Karkat a pair of fuzzy, angry eyebrows" Now I'm starting to think of the Karkat expressions in that one Paradox Space.

"all he accomplishes is turning the redrom trajectory between her and Dave into a redrom loop-de-loop." This is all I could want from a reprise of this scene.

"JADE: see me and karkat have great black chemistry! KARKAT: IT IS NOT BLACK CHEMISTRY YOU HORRID NON-CHITINOUS WINDBAG!" A+ denial there, Karkat, props on the response.

"JADE: and now that daves all chill hed make a great auspistice" Jade just wants all Karkat's quadrants filled by the three of them, somehow.

"JADE: because you and karkat are kind of like moirails DAVE: no JADE: and you and i JADE: well yknow its always been pretty flirty DAVE: jade JADE: EXCEPT!

Jade finishes drawing a shaky heart directly into the paint program. It’s so big and bright on the TV that it fills the entire room with red light." She's putting all these names and symbols to the relationship, it might just be too much for these poor boys to handle. :p

"JADE: i call this political arrangement: JADE: fully automated luxury polyamorous space-time communism!!!!!!!" That is not the shipping name I would've chosen, but it's the shipping name we deserve. And hey, communism! Get it? Cause Karkat had a sickle.

I wonder what Karkat's take on polyamory outside of the ashen quadrant is, actually.

"Jade rolls her eyes and tosses both the tablet and pen over her shoulder. Dave flashes across the living room to catch his very expensive computing device in both arms. The pen bounces off his forehead." This. Entire. Scene.

"JADE: i have to go talk to roxy and callie about the election anyway" Well, she's going to let them stew on this for a while. But I'm eager to find out who Roxy & Calliope would back. You might think Jane's a given, but if she's been busy maybe they have grown closer to Jade & Dave!

"Jade clicks her heels together to propel herself back into the air and actually winks at them before absconding through an open window." Think happy thoughts! Also, I just realized becoming a god sadly never gave Karkat the powers of flight.

"Dave and Karkat both stare after her, silently caught in their own private rationalization spirals.

Karkat needs to verbalize part of his out loud." Ah, but can they stay in that spiral or will they have no choice but to break out of it?

"KARKAT: WANNA PLAY SOME TROLL TONY HAWK? DAVE: hell DAVE: yeah" Yyyyyeaah, they are not going to have changed when Jade comes back, will they?

So even Karkat calls it "Troll Tony Hawk", not whatever absurdly wrong name it'd have on Alternia, and not whatever Tony Hawk's duodecimal name in Alternian would be. :P

[cyl2-moved]

alright so i didn’t really agree with what tier lists were saying about certain fgo servants so i made my own one ! you’re welcome to disagree, of course, but this is what i think should make up the fgo five star tier list

S: makes any team better, 100% desirable, meta breaking

A: well built and capable of carrying a team

B: good team addition and plays well/good for one specific purpose

C: ok tier, they’re just fine tbh, deservant of 5 star status but on thin ice

D: straight up should’ve been a 4 star

EX: servants that i’ve heard of only in legend

*note: this is for the na server as of january 2019, i could honestly give less of a shit about jp

**note: berserkers gain a bit of fluidity because their one purpose is to kill and any zerk that can do that is good (< that’s all zerks btw)

***note: all 5 stars are worth levelling up, they’re all really good. don’t burn them please

****note: i don’t claim to know everything about fgo, this list isn’t the gospel

S TIER:

MERLIN (caster): ok y’all saw this one coming but basically merlin is fucking amazing. he can really fit on any team set up he wants to and he’s a prime example of what a good caster should be. i don’t think i need to explain this entry. moving on.

JEANNE D’ARC ALTER (avenger): jalter is probably the best buster based servant you can summon in the na server right now and was a complete powerhouse until merlin showed up. if you want a reliable servant that can do just about anything without fail i suggest her if you ever get lucky enough to summon her

FIRST HASSAN (assassin): normally gramps isn’t listed with these two, but if you’ve ever used him chances are you can atleast somewhat see where i’m coming from here. this man is a BEAST, his singularity track record should be proof of that (y’know, because he stole the show in a whole ass two of them). he can’t fit into any team like the first two but he can destroy like nobody’s fucking business. summon him if you get the chance

A TIER:

MIYAMOTO MUSASHI (saber): musashi is a saber focused in single target buster damage, and her skills and np allow her to go above with this focus. at the moment i’d say she’s probably the best saber available because her np, skills, and deck match so well. \

NERO BRIDE (saber): i forgot her and i’m only just now adding her in so whoops but basically she’s one of the only arts sabers that’s actually good and has a good and spammable np.

GILGAMESH (archer): he’s an anti army buster focus who has a noble phantasm that only six servants in the game so far aren’t weak to. he’s kind of a lancer pincushion but just don’t send him out into battles with lancers. there you go.

ISHTAR (archer): ishtar doesn’t have the same np effect as gil but other than that she’s a fairly good replacement for him, not to mention she has a slightly higher hp value than him

BRYNHILDR (lancer): brynhildr would probably be lower on this list if it weren’t for her sparse availability and trait that affects most male and some female servants in the game. she’s probably the best lancer in the game because of those two reasons, but all lancers are safe bets tbh

OZYMANDIAS (rider): ozymandias is amazing at spamming buster cards and has a particularly great np, great for boss battles. also he’s hot

QUETZALCOATL (rider): basically the same as ozy here except with a more specifically buster deck. also she’s hot

ZHUGE LIANG (caster): a lot of people categorize him with merlin and to those people i have to ask: have you ever played this game? waver comes close, but don’t act like people didn’t throw him to the side the exact moment merlin came out. open your eyes you absolute fools

XUANZANG SANZANG (caster): this one has a twinge of personal bias but seeing as she’s a caster but has the highest atk of all of my servants atm. also she’s hot, but she’s one of the only casters in the game right now that’s somewhat buster based and can make a buster brave chain which her np (which is kinda rare for casters). she can fit into really any team composition without too much issue and has a rather high survivability rate

JACK THE RIPPER (assassin): contrary to brynhildr, jack got higher on this list almost specifically because of her availability. she’s a really good assassin that’s rather easy to get (well, considering she’s a five star). the one bane i can think of is that she’s not very team compatible, but she’ll do just fine regardless. get her going with quick chains and she will absolutely obliterate

CU CHULAINN ALTER (berserker): just wanna start out by saying he’s still one of the most powerful berserkers in the jp server. AND he’s easily available. do i really fucking have to say anything else? (protection from arrows lol)

MINAMOTO NO RAIKOU (berserker): mom’s deck is set up a bit differently from other berserkers’, having more arts and quick card than most of them. does that stop her from utterly obliterating everything in her path? nope, not at all, in fact, it only helps. her quick and arts card charge her buster np, which is a wave clear that RAINS crit stars, that only help her kill more later. conclusion: she’s an absolute goddess

JEANNE D’ARC (ruler): jeanne d’arc only really made it to this part of the list because you can get her really easily and she’s absolutely amazing on arts stall teams. as well and good as this is, though, she only really reaches her good points in her final ascension and is kind of hard to use before this. i wouldn’t suggest using her if you’re a starter player, heads up

B TIER:

OKITA SOUJI (saber): okita was placed lower on this list than i’d like her to be but because of her quick based status i kinda had to. there’s going to be a lot of this going on especially later in the list, but quick servants don’t see the light of day until skadi comes around, which is going to be mid 2020 for us na players unless fgo gets destroyed before then. the only servant that really got away with the quick niche was jack because she’s self sustaining if she needs to be, but okita’s deck doesn’t really let her do that. despite this, okita’s still amazing, and i highly suggest rolling for her

ARTORIA ARCHER (archer): summer artoria serves as an amazing arts archer that does wonders with her single target arts np that brings up her np gauge up almost immediately after it’s done, meaning you can spam her np whenever. she’s pretty great for arts team and not very versatile elsewhere, but you’re in for a treat when you use her

SCATHACH (lancer): OF COURSE scathach was going to be fairly high on this list, she’s one of the best lancers to date. her quick deck brought her down a bit here, but she’s a reliable servant that can fit into any team composition with little issue and has a powerful np. what else could you want

ARTORIA LANCER (lancer): honestly lartoria is high on the list for flexing and little else, but she serves as a powerful buster servant that has a pretty good wave clear np. the rest of the reason she’s up here is personal bias and i’m not scared to admit that, also she’s on a horse

TAMAMO LANCER (lancer): lanmamo is a kinda surprising servant tbh, she doubles in buster and quick and does amazing in both and has an especially high hp stat, something i wouldn’t expect from a quick/buster decked servant. honestly, you really can’t go wrong with summer servants tbh, they’re all really good

QUEEN MEDB (rider): i’m SICK of people shitting on medb. she’s fucking great. she’s a buster main that’s a crit star sponge and has a fairly good single target np. bring her into a caster boss battle and she will fuck the life out of the opponent, i guarantee it

TAMAMO NO MAE (caster): mikon is an amazing caster who sadly doesn’t really hold up to those in the higher tiers, but has skills that work great for any team and is practically the god of any arts stall team you ever might think of making. also she’s hot

LEONARDO DA VINCI (caster): da vinci doesn’t really hold up to tamamo, but i still think she deserves a spot in this tier. she has a pretty varied deck that can fit in with really any team and has a pretty powerful wave clear np. she’s a great caster, no doubt, but in a point in time when this game is practically dominated by merlin, she really doesn’t hold up as much as the others

CLEOPATRA (assassin): cleo is an exceptionally good buster based assassin with an anti army np which is really effective. she makes for a fairly good farming servant and can hold out for a while in boss battles as well

SAKATA KINTOKI (berserker): sakata has gotten strangely a bad rep from the fandom but is overhyped by the game, which is weird to me, but whatever. he’s probably the most powerful berserker atk wise, but can only really survive for three turns before dying no matter what you do. as far as servants go, he’s not as good as the game hypes him up to be and he’s not as bad as the fanbase makes him out to be.

AMAKUSA SHIROU (ruler): amakusa really only got up here because he’s one of the only four extra class five stars in the game right now, and as a servant he’s okay. he’d be a lot worse if he were a normal unit that had a class disadvantage that was common, but since he’s practically untouchable as a ruler he gets a spot up here

C TIER:

ARTORIA (saber): artoria has a rather bad reputation among tier lists because of her basic deck, basic np, shit skills … but her blandness only makes her increasingly compatible with other team setups. you can really stick her anywhere and she’ll do fine, and if she’s set up right she can become a really good servant. y’all are just lazy and mean

MORDRED (saber): mordred got kind of the same treatment as her dad but with more buster and slightly better skills, so if this tier list had a lot more specific tiers mordred would probably be above her. however, this isn’t, i’m too lazy for that. mordred is really just a slightly more atk based artoria

ARJUNA (archer): arjuna’s good, no doubt, but his competition out of the five star archer pool is hard to match up with. he’s definitely the best archer in the story mode gacha, but as an arts archer that can’t spam his np as artoria archer, he’s a bit dead in the water

ORION (archer): orion has the same problems as arjuna but with an added fuck you because of that extra quick card. if you have her i hope you have fun beating the absolute shit out of gawain

KARNA (lancer): karna’s an amazing buster servant, but the lancer pool is just really fucking good. he excels in buster but got that quick fuck you just like orion. i don’t really have much to say tbh, he’s good

ENKIDU (lancer): enkidu excels in quicks and didn’t pussy out like orion and karna, and if this were the non-merlin era he’d be higher on this list. sadly, since arts is dominating, he’ll have to wait a bit, but soon ...

FRANCIS DRAKE (rider): i really like francis, i do, but compared to the other riders she’s really just a farming servant. she can be a good main rider if you really want her to be but her np is almost made for farming. her np is the exact example of a farming np. next

ILLYA VON EINZBERN (caster): news flash but she’s not really as good as everyone hyped her up to be. she has a bit of a confusing deck (why does she have one buster card but a buster np!?!) and no clear niche so like … is her fame only because of that anime she’s in or what. chloe’s better

SHUTEN DOUJI (assassin): shuten has an arts based deck that doesn’t really fit her as an assassin and doesn’t have a very powerful np but otherwise is a good and reliable servant. She can just about survive anything and has been the cause of many of my clutches. thanks shuten

VLAD III (berserker): vlad excels in arts teams and is an amazing arts unit, but he would’ve shined if he was released later. because he was the first five star berserker released and non limited (unlike sakata) he defied a standard for berserkers before berserker standards were even set, and it didn’t come out well

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE (berserker): florence honestly would’ve been better if she wasn’t released at the same time as cu alter, who’s a goddamn beast, and if her concept wasn’t so mismatched. her deck and skillset is kinda weirdly put together and doesn’t flow as well as raikou’s. she’s wasted potential, really.

D TIER:

ALTERA (saber): honestly i think people hype up altera too much, she’s good but could easily be replaced by a four star imo. at her best she’s just an artoria remake sorry

NIKOLA TESLA (archer): his deck and skill set and np are fine? he just really doesn’t have a proper use. he fits into any team but in a way in which that team has to kinda carry him and he’s ugly. that’s all

MYSTERIOUS HEROINE X (assassin): mhx is a good assassin, especially since there are only a few you can really choose from, but she’s more of a trophy than anything. it’s cool to have her, and again, she’s fine, but she doesn’t really match up to the other assassins in the game, especially jack, who’s more easily accessible and self sufficient. also it doesn’t make sense why she’s an assassin if she’s a saber killer (just be an archer!!!!) but w/e

EDMOND DANTES (avenger): let me explain first. please. ok, so edmond is good by most standards, especially because he’s an extra class which means he’s basically untouchable by most everyone except for bb when she rears her ugly head in may. but what sucks about him is that he was released as sort of a avengers test before jalter? idk how to really explain it, but he’s significantly worse than jalter because they wanted to see how an avenger would hold up. not only does he not hold up to the only servant in his class by a long shot, he has the quick curse and looks exactly the fuck like komaeda. he really took that l

EX TIER:

RYOUJI SHIKI (saber): fgo seems to really like her but the fanbase seems to think she;s ok at best but i’ve never seen her ever in supports in my nine months of playing this game. does she even really exist? idk. her character desc says you’re likely to never see her and i’m starting to think that’s true

ISKANDER (rider): alright i KNOW you exist and everyone loves you but i’ve never seen you either. what the ufck. where are you

anyways that’s it this took way longer than it should’ve i’m going to bed

[matazz]

entries

diary entries of roy endoza

here’s some journal entries of roy endoza that i wrote for the duration of the campaign. for the most part, i kinda wrote these in my twitter drafts just to write down roy’s thoughts. sometimes to remember events that happened, and sometimes just to vent out roy’s feelings to myself. i ended up saving these on a document for safe keeping and i’m glad i wrote these.

‪entry 47‬

‪i miss milo so much. his laugh, his eyes, his smile. i would do anything to have that back.‬ ‪i know its my fault he’s gone. its only been a few months, but i’ll fix that; all of it. no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. i’ll find some way to do it.‬ ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪i told ayce the biggest con in all of history.. but i confirmed he’s undead. i have more hope in my goals now that i know its possible. he hugged me bc he thinks we’re similar. i dont usually allow people to do that but i’m sad for him. i wish i could ask more about him. ‬‪entry 69‬ ‪i’m getting closer to ayce, unexpectedly, but good for me. i need his information.‬ ‪he talks to me a lot about his life; i think he’s become dependent on me which is easy for me. its hard for him to see i’m using him when i lie to his face.‬ ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back.

i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ((scribbled out)) ‪i havent had sex in a while. i’ve wondered this before but realized it was an inappropriate question to ask. i wonder if ayce’s dick works? it probably doesnt. this is so sad. i dont know how i’m going to fuck him if thats true.. yikes‬ ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ((lost)) ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪good evening. i saw ms winters. she was undead, just like ayce. she died a year ago. her soul was lost though. i killed what remained of her undead corpse. i assume she was trying to remain in this world.. i’m scared that this will happen to him too. maybe ill have to do the same to him. entry 101.2 i hope ayce's soul is able to sustain in his body for longer. i cant afford to lose him. entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. i assume its bc the gods know what i'm doing & are against it, so they're trying to give me more recoil than usual. but the last time i killed an undead corpse was in my house 6 months ago, and i promise that the last time i will use it is when i bring milo back. (torn note inbetween the pages: hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void

of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over.c (the rest of the pages with entry 102 are torn out) when i saw milo in the old house again just being his happy lovely self i felt miserable and happy at the same time. i love him so much, and i knew i missed him already but seeing him again just made me feel so much love for him all over again. it just makes me miss him more. it's hard not to cry thinking about what i've done to him. i wish he could come back. ayce's was hard to watch. i witnessed myrkul force ayce to choose between killing me and quri. ayce cried as he couldn't make up his mind, and then i watched as i fell into a void. i felt sick and i wanted to puke. i thought ayce found out about me. i thought he knew that i was using him for necromancy, but when i asked him about it, he told me that he thought i killed him with quri. i... personally don't have any reason to ever kill him so that was a bit sickening to think of. i dont ever want to kill anyone. i dont even have anyone i hate enough to want to murder. the only person i hate enough to want to kill is me. i know based on what i said before i guess it might have seemed that bad; but haha... i would never ever want to do that. putting people down at hospital was rough. god, putting ms winters down was rough and she was already dead. i love him, but it's probably better if we end the relationship and just stay as friends? he's already witnessed me still loving milo, and he thinks i murdered him... i'll try to clear up his misunderstanding, but it'll be hard to without giving more of myself away. this relationship has so many problems. entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 i’ve done so much in preperation of whats to come. Soon. i hope it works. i’m going to travel to solardome and investigate those readings. entry 124 suspicions

confirmed. miss winters is alive. she captured my biological father. a strange way to meet him. i cant see him as my father. i told her about the key, and we’re going to rearrange our circle. we’ll still use the spirit stones, just as a backup. i’m scared. i’m terrified. i dont know if it will work and i dont know what will happen if it does. i know the gods will be mad but i’ll deal with the consequences when it happens. i’m sure i won’t be a champion anymore. we’re doing this on friday evening, which means i’m no longer attending the gala. they don’t need my assistance anyway.

[thespace-dragon]

Hi Mogi! Are there any Klance fics that you would recommend? Thanks :)

Oh good golly gosh, here goes my afternoon, because youre about to get a shit ton. xD

If you want to peruse my bookmarks feel free. the link has been filtered down to only klance fics, enjoy your time sifting through 150+ fics ^^; (i have no self control)  And then theres any of my stuff here because i need validation and have no shame with self plugs, but ill put the focus on the other fics for right now. ^^

But here are the ones i reallllyyyy recommend outside of the big name fics that literally the whole fandom knows about.:

Make Me Your Home by Reader115

Summary: “Oh my god, Keeeith,” Lance wheezed. “Keith you’re the best drunk space cadet I’ve ever seen.”“Space cadet,” Keith mumbled. He repeated the words again although his eyes had zeroed in on Lance’s hands and Lance offered no resistance when Keith picked one of them up and pulled it possessively towards his lap. He began to gently trace over Lance’s fingers, sending shivers up Lance’s arm and down his spine. “You have looong fingers,” Keith murmured after a few moments.Keith’s face perked up then, as if he’d just had a brilliant idea, and Lance could almost not wait to hear what new obscure thought had entered Keith’s pretty head. He was prepared to laugh, and instead found himself shivering again as Keith leaned far into his personal bubble, lips practically touching Lance’s ear when he spoke next.“I bet you could reach all kinds of things, Lance.”Update: Now with ART by suitboxers!!WC: 38169 (6/6)General Notes: just, omg? this fic has like it all, and it all fits into s2?? yes please?? i could not get enough of this fic and talking with the author, there is a rumor that they might write an epilogue and i like high key died. 10/10

Today, anew by MemeKonVLD

Summary: “Lance.”Lance’s eyebrows furrow in concern for a second before his whole face goes gentle and open.“Hey buddy, everything okay?”Keith nods. Then shakes his head, then opens his mouth to let out a noisy sob before he’s hugging the air out of Lance, grip vise tight.Lance hugs him back. That’s one of the great things about him— he doesn’t— he doesn’t need explanations for things like this. He doesn’t make Keith jump through hoops, the way other people might— he’s just— he just knows what Keith needs in times like this. No façades, no posturing.(Or: the one where Keith is trapped in a time loop. A time loop from hell.)WC: 5910 (6/6 chapters)General Notes: this was interesting to say the least, and one of my latest reads. I really enjoyed, told from Keiths pov and he’s stuck in a time loop. Angsty, but has a happy ending. 8/10

Voltron Cafe by PinkHitman

Summary: Lance is the number one butler at a maid cafe, and his number one customer? Just his old High School rival Keith.WC: 66422 (14/?)General Notes: This is really funny and quirky. Lance is adorable in all his dorky glory. The whole team is there and i cant count the times ive had to stifle laughter reading it because it was 3am and i really needed to sleep but, hey what are you going to do xD theres also a blog @voltron-cafe and the art is just as quirky as the fic and i love it to all get out. 9/10

a truth in the blood by angstinspace

Summary: “I’m Galra, Lance.”It’s the first time he’s said those words out loud––and to Lance of all people. He should feel horrified at himself but somehow, he doesn’t. In fact, an eerie calmness has settled over him. Everything comes sharply into focus as he stands there, still holding Lance’s wrist, breathing in and out, waiting for a response. A post “Blade of Marmora” fix-it fic. Mostly broganes & klance bonding.WC: 7489General Notes: So theres a little bit of angst in this, but it does a really good job of filling in the blanks of what could have happened between ep8 and ep9 of s2. I really liked it, has some Broganes in there and Klance bonding. 8/10

Starlight by epiproctan

Summary: For once, Lance tries to be responsible for something. Namely, his feelings. Needless to say it doesn’t go well.WC: 7719General Notes: Lance pov, honestly this boy tries so hard to keep the team dynamic the same, but it never goes well. goes with the trope that EVERYONE knows about mutual pining klance, but goes a different direction just for the hell of it. i loved it. 9/10

He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

Summary: In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters. WC: 64888 (13/13)General Notes: holy fuck do i love this fic, cuz like, wow. Im a sucker for dragons and i loved the way the author inocrporated them into this fic and made it freaking work. A+++. Lots of action, drama-rama and Lance learns a thing or two about hs feelings along the way. 10/10

Burning Love by TeaAndKittens

Summary: An injury sustained on the job for firefighter Keith means an extended medical leave that makes him feel useless and angry. He’s so desperate to get back to his crew at Station 5 that he’s almost willing to try anything - except yoga. Especially after Hunk calls this friend of his that owns a yoga studio and Keith gets supporting evidence for his claim that only crazy people practice yoga.Somehow, despite all of that, Hunk and Shiro manage to bully him into at least trying it. He shows up for that first class expecting to hate it. What he’s not expecting is for Hunk’s friend to be hot like the fire of a thousand suns. Or even more insane in person.Or: Keith’s life. So Hard.WC: 7017 (2/?)General Notes: Firefighter Keith and yoga instructor lance,,, um yes please! this fic is just getting started but i really love it so far. 8/10

Sharps and Accidentals by Zizzani

Summary: Keith is a talented up and coming violin virtuoso. Lance hates him immediately.Or an AU in which Lance and Keith both attend the same music university. Keith is deaf. Lance is Trying™.WC: 39528 (9/?)General Notes: ok, so i just really love this a lot. im a band nerd so music is like my thing, and this is honestly great. Deaf keith, and lance… poor lance, hes trying ok? Im a couple updates behind, but i really love it a lot. 9/10

bouncing off exit signs by steelthighsvoideyesSummary:

Summary: This is the story of two absolute idiots who keep searching for what they’ve already found. WC: 40147 (yes on chap xD)General Notes: this is like one of those comfort fics for me, i binged it one night, and it was amazing. Based off the song Closer by The Chainsmokers. honeslty, well done. 10/10

Duly Noted by TeaAndKittens

Summary: Keith has a box full of scraps of paper, a lovingly archived collection of all the notes Lance has written him so far in their relationship. Their son has a box just like it, and soon their newly adopted daughter will too.Or: 5 (-ish) notes Lance wrote to Keith, beginning with the one that started it all, and 1 Keith wrote backWC: 4913General Notes: this was so fucking cute that i really couldnt stop smiling the whole way through. lance leaving notes everywhere is just so him. 10/10

The Quiet by MilkTeaMiku

Summary: Does he not realise he’s dead?Keith can see ghosts. As a part of his Garrison training, he’s sent to a hospital to do one year of medical clerkship - it’s there that he meets a charmingly irritating ghost who definitely needs to learn what boundaries are.WC: 38000 (19/?)General Notes: Stop reading this list and fucking read this oh my gawd. It is that good, go on, shoo 10/10

Flirting with Death by drippingpen

Summary: Keith commits the ultimate taboo as a grim reaper: he saves a life.More specifically, he saves Lance’s life.Now they are forever linked, unable to survive without the other. Keith must protect Lance from the forces that are trying to right Keith’s wrong and kill Lance.WC: 29346 (9/?)General Notes: yoooo, my friend is reading this, and she is doing such a great job with it. Grim Reaper Keith and lance is high key supposed to be dead, and its awesome. Pidge is as nosey as ever and Hunk is pure™. give it a read, really. 10/10

Days Like Today by literal_trashbaby

Summary: For all Lance’s snarking and posturing, all that easy, cheery confidence, for all his charm and his pretty, pretty smiles (which absolutely did not make Keith a little weak in the knees, no sir). Just every now and then, Keith thought his smile would go just a tiny bit tight around the edges, and he’d go just a little quiet… well, quiet for Lance. And on the days when Lance was just that little bit… Not-Lance, like a force of nature he would, without fail, pull one side of his lower lip into his mouth and just chew on it, destroying those poor, perfect lips. Days like today.OR: Lance is Having a Day and Keith is somehow the only person to notice.WC: 3159General Notes: I love it when people write Keith picking up on Lance’s tendencies, its so freaking cute and my heart cannot handle. 9/10

so why don’t we fall by akinghtley

Summary: Five times Lance used a pet name for Keith, and one time Keith used one for Lance.Keith has no basis for having a relationship with someone, so he’s trying to follow Lance’s lead.WC: 8218General Notes: NSFW saying that now. but i love pet names, and this was all so cute. Touch of angst, but it makes up for it with fluff. I love it. 9/10

I think tht does it for fic recs rn, i could literally go through all of my bookmarks and list every one of them, but lets face it that would take forever.

Hope you enjoy all that fics!