#i guess. maybe.

[wolfstrong]

I guess I feel a little bit better today… crawling slowly towards getting over it and forgetting…

[natjennie]

his middle school teacher swag. also tag yourself I'm the bunny with the axe.

[tuttle-did-it]

David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.

edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.

This woman has lost her fucking mind.

Jo, are you okay?

[inbabylontheywept]

I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be

a). I needed to watch that car and

b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.

It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.

Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.

So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.

She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?

And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:

"Because it was foretold."

And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.

I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

[sing-you-fools]

me: this is a background character who's in one scene, has two lines, and is completely irrelevant to the rest of the story. i am going to stop obsessing over what to name him and use the random name generator on behindthename.com. i am going to accept the first thing it gives me and move the fuck on.

behindthename.com:

[cryptocism]

"just as I did, in 1983."

you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable

[nardacci-does-art]

I meant to draw this back when I did this other doll comic as another side, to show a doll that had been cared for instead of abused, but somehow I wasn't able to finish it till like 10 minutes ago, anyway I did it *confetti*

[death-rebirth-senshi]

That gay flag is really catching on huh

[followedhomethenkilled]

My identity folds infinitesimally in on itself. Where do I begin and end? What parts of me are me? What parts of me are you?

[heart-shaped-chains]

This should go on the not horny account but I'm too lazy to log off and log back in lmao. Anyway long ass vent about a mystery...condition? I guess. Warning for internalized ableism, probably.

I'm just always stiff. Like if I put my hands in a claw (like a cat) position and turn them, there's just so much popping. My neck pops pretty easily, so does my back. My back and neck are always hurting because they're so stiff. Same with my fingers, hands, wrists, and even elbows. Even my fucking. Ankles and knees get it sometimes, though not as frequently as everything above the waist. Hands are definitely the worst though.

I've lost my appetite over the course of a few months for no seeming reason. I'm not complaining because I was at my highest weight and I've dropped 10 pounds. Not that I'm insecure about being fat, but I know that my peak weight (in terms of just general fitness) is quite a bit lower than what it is currently. Just surprising because I haven't really changed my lifestyle, I just haven't been as hungry recently?

Despite taking off that weight and having less to carry on me, the pain hasn't eased up. If I take like, a small jump and land the wrong way, or put too much force in a step, shooting pain in my ankles, maybe even my knees. And I'm fucking. 19, barely 19, too. People my age do crazy shit. They do stupid stunts, they can do super cool shit. And my hands shake and if I sleep wrong, my back hurts and everything just hurts all the time.

And like. You get used to it, but it still hurts. But ofc, you're not diagnosed with anything and you feel like a fake. You're pretty sure you know what you have, but what if you're just being dramatic? What if the doctor you get referred to doesn't believe you because you're too young? I mean, my mom was diagnosed well into her adulthood, and she had been dealing with this pain since she was my age. It just discourages you more, even though you're being hyper vigilant about it. Because again, what if you're just being overdramatic and it's not normal?

I woke myself up crying one night because my hands were hurting so fucking much. It was super bad in my wrists and palms, bad in my fingers, and it even went down my forearms to my elbows. I tried like. Every position to get them to stop, I was trying to completely relax them since gripping, along with opening/straightening up, just makes it worse.

It's like my hands (maybe tendons? Not bones.) are just rusty. There's so much pushback if I try to straighten my fingers out completely (like this🖐️), they just. Automatically go back and I have to try harder to get them straight. I gave up on ASL because I can't fuckin. Separate my fingers far enough, I don't play piano songs that challenge me, nor do I play for as long as I want to, and my bass is collecting dust. Now I'm rethinking pursuing forensics and (maybe) becoming an autopsy tech because my hands are so fucking shitty.

I deal with the pain. I try not to show it because I'm young, and this shouldn't be happening. It's not accepted that this happens. And I love my family, but they're crass. And I don't need them calling me a pussy and claiming I have a low pain tolerance or whatever. Plus, my mom has it way worse than I do. So I just feel like I'm being overdramatic because she deals with excruciating pain every day and she just. Goes on. She yells and cries, but she keeps pushing. And I'm much healthier than her, so what right do I have to lay down and cry about it?

I'm kinda coming to terms with the fact that this isn't normal for people my age. And that it's probably some sort of health problem, and that because of genetics, it could be a chronic illness. And I just. It feels so unfair because I'm fucking nineteen. I could deal with getting that at 30, but I'm already dealing with fuckin "stiff back/hand hurty/joints hate you" syndrome at not even twenty???

Like. It's a fucking joke. I didn't even get to do any wild shit like go bungee jumping or go exploring in some random hole in the ground that turns out to be an unmapped cave system (true story. Source: my dad). I didn't get to like. Do parkour and shit, I haven't even done martial arts since middle school....My closest near death experience was almost choking on my vomit while I was alone in my room, tripping balls. That is hands down, the saddest fucking way to go. Also the fuckin. Saddest (derogatory) near death experience. No cool story, just dumb luck bc I happened to automatically sit up. And now I'm scared of being nauseous lmao. That's not cool, that's just fucking sad.

Like. I should've gotten some more time before this started happening. I see people joke about how when you turn 30, you start feeling injuries for longer, or you hurt more when you bump into something. Or just. Small things like that. It's a joke about aging and how your body's breaking down, it's gallows humor for everyone who's aging and dealing with that. I can't even legally buy cigarettes and I can relate to that shit, it's not fair.

And it makes me wonder, how bad is it gonna be when I do turn 30? Is it just gonna get worse over time? I don't wanna take painkillers because knowing me, I'd get hooked. So what do I do? Just hope that it doesn't get that much worse? Just hope that my pain tolerance is more developed by then since I'll have gotten more used to it? I don't wanna ask my mom about it, even though she lived it. I'm taking a break from therapy bc I'm switching therapists so I can't go in depth about it with a professional. It's just. Ugh.

It's bullshit. My hands ache all the time and I didn't even do anything. Like. What the fuck did I do? Is this God's way of punishing me for fucking up my teenage years? I was a kid. Yet the aching started when I was like 16, before I even started doing drugs...

It's probably just random. It just happened that I got it. It's just so unfair. Like I already have bad intrusive thoughts and shit, just, a very bad state of mind. Yet mental pain wasn't enough? It needs to be physical, too? That's just shitty. That's so fucking shitty. My hands shake, that's not fair.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far if you did. Sorry for the overall bad vibes. Feel free to armchair diagnose me if you want lmao, any advice is welcome. Please be nice to me, thanks 🩵

[8balldoodles]

Listen what if. What if mihawk got de-aged or soemthing and zosan forced temp parents

[secondbeatsongs]

for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal

before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"

and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"

[crowinkwriting]

Rook: [Fumbles and does something dumb] Spite: They're so stupid. We have to fuck them. Lucanis: What do you mean WE!?

[sui-imi]

Funeral, right

---

been seeing some discussion about canon/fanon sans re: papyrus' death, and then i thought, unrelatedly, "hey i wonder what he did with the dust"

[the-fat-raccoon]

Your twitchy and unsteady hands are NOT from an excessive consumption of sugar and caffiene. You come from a bloodline that traces back to mighty sorcerers, your nerves are less suited for activities like surgery and more for the swift and sporadic movements needed to cast spells.