#which says you know exactly what you are and identify as a transphobe

[tuttle-did-it]

David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.

edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.

This woman has lost her fucking mind.

Jo, are you okay?

[genderqueerdykes]

Hi, same anon that asked if claiming that trans women must be amab is intersexist here.

The claim as I understand it was that transness must be defined by agab, as in you're only trans if you identify with a different gender you were assigned at birth. Which technically yes, that's how society treats gender atm, but the way society is structured is inherently intersexist as well. So i personally don't feel like that's a very good thing to go on. Excuse me again if I'm out of my lane here.

To me just sounds like telling intersex people to hold out for the abolishment of the sex binary and in the meantime they have to identify how the sex binary dictates, which just sounds like more violence against intersex people. Plus dictating how intersex people should feel about their own experiences/insisting perisex people know better than they do about themselves.

you're exactly on the mark, you do not have to apologize

you pointed out the problem in such clear verbiage, i'm really glad you sent that. the idea that someone's gender must be different from their agab in order to be trans is very intersexist and otherwise just an inaccurate descriptor. enforcing that trans women MUST be amab and trans men MUST be afab is exactly what cisheteronormative society does- we're just bringing it inside the community. queerphobes say "women MUST be born women and have vaginas" and "men MUST be born men and have penises".

why are we saying trans women MUST be assigned male at birth and MUST be born with penises? why are we saying that trans men MUST be assigned female at birth and MUST be born with vaginas? this is the exact same logic queerphobes use, beat for beat. we've become utterly obsessed with agab as a community because people cannot let go of binarist thinking. i understand that it's due to cisheternormative society, but some people are so heavily entrenched in black and white thinking that they believe that there is seriously only 1 way to be a trans man or woman.

the community is way, WAY to obsessed with AGAB and genitals at the present moment, which is highly disturbing. why are we so concerned about the genitals of strangers? a trans woman who doesn't have a penis isn't a threat to you. a trans man who doesn't have a vagina isn't a threat to you. you really, REALLY shouldn't be focusing on or obsessing over the genitals and assigned gender at birth of strangers. once more: this is what queerphobes do to us. stop bringing it into the community willingly. let go of the obsession with "this or that" binaries. genders and queer identities are not football teams. they're not in conflict with one another.

thank you for this ask i really appreciate it! it makes me very happy to hear that perisex people are beginning to understand why this line of thinking is extremely dangerous and always ends up hurting intersex people the most. people just *refuse* to listen to us and it's infuriating. i don't care if other queers don't care about intersex people- you have to. we are your siblings. you HAVE to care when you say things that hurt us. you HAVE to care when you use language that leaves us out for the sake of upholding a binary

if everyone is all "smash the gender binary!" why is it crickets when it comes to the biological sex binary? not even just crickets, but painfully uncomfortable silence. is that too scary? is actually for real stepping outside of the binary that threatening? it's not scary to realize that biological sex is also a binary. someone else's genitals are NOT your business.

to the entire queer community: PLEASE stop making trans and gender identities about the GENITALS someone is born with. this is not only transphobic as hell, but intersexist, too. you HAVE to care, it doesn't matter if it doesn't affect you. you are perpetuating violence by continuing to assert these beliefs

take care, thank you so much for stopping by!

[snaxle]

just saw someone say the reason bi lesbians are problematic is because they're inclusive of radfems, and that bi lesbians spew terf rhetoric. i dont know what kinda secret alternate universe you're living in where terfs are supportive of mspec identities but im begging you to turn on your brain cells for longer than 5 seconds at a time and then go outside instead of wallowing in queer twitter discourse made by 15 year olds 10 hours every day you fucking idiots.

terfs dont fucking like bi lesbians. terfs would rather watch us either kill ourselves than ever support our identities.

"i hate mspec lesbians because they tell people who hate men that they're sharing terf beliefs, which is exactly what terfs want!!" have you literally never seen a terf's account before in your life? they fucking hate men and want everyone in the world to know that every single man in the world no matter how old they are that they're gross ugly creatures who all hate women and want nothing more than to prey on the downfall of all women. yea, even those 6 and 12 year old boys that live next door to you. so yea, while you're posting your quirky little "i hate all men they're disgusting 🙄" posts every three days for your 400 twitter followers, you're 100% spewing terf rhetoric!! no that doesnt mean you're a fucking terf but you're sharing into their beliefs and spreading their agenda every time you do this shit which is what they want!!!!

"the term lesbian is already inclusive of trans and nonbinary people, so using the term bi/mspec lesbian is problematic because you dont think trans people can be lesbians!" look me in the eyes. do you genuinely, honest to god think that terfs care about that. do you genuinely think terfs are okay with trans people calling themselves a lesbian. terfs dont fucking care, they still want you to either detransition and realize how "evil" being trans is and follow in their beliefs, or they want you dead. a nonbinary trans man who uses he/him pronouns calling himself a bi lesbian is literally the least of your fucking worries.

i am trans and bigender. even if i just called myself solely a lesbian without the extra labels, terfs still wont fucking accept me because i am not a pure innocent 100% woman. they will not accept me even when i tell them i feel more like a woman most days than i do a man because i am not their definition of what a woman should be. "it doesnt matter what terfs say, lesbian is still inclusive of trans people!" no, it's only inclusive of trans people that you deem are good and women enough to use the label.

people love going around talking about how they're so so supportive of any and all identities and then immediately turn around and be like "hmmm but not Yours." i could be the most perfect woman in the world, but the second i so much as mention i think a man looks attractive, then i am not being a lesbian the Right way.

so who the fuck cares anymore. who cares if i use the term bisexual lesbian to identify myself? im already doing it all wrong supposedly, so who cares if im more of a problem than i already am? the queer people im supposed to share a community with would rather side on the side of terfs because im not being a lesbian in the supposedly Correct way, and no matter what i say to try defending myself I'll never be seen as a true and proper lesbian because random strangers on the internet i will never meet ever in my life has already dictated that I'm not good enough. that my existence is problematic and harmful to everyone else, completely ignorant of the fact that they're unwillingly sharing in the beliefs of transphobes, homophobes and conservatives who would like nothing more than to wipe us all out instead of standing together as a community.

but you know, putting bi lesbians on your dni or whatever is more important.

[stereorebel]

recently, a queer terf interacted with the post of me. a trans guy. so, take this.

dear all queer terfs,

here is something i'd like to ask you, not to argue but for your own sake:

why?

what brought you here? why are you a terf? what path of internalized homophobia brought you to this place where you must call yourself a terf-in-training? you do know you are bringing yourself into a cult, no? where if you go too deep you can't leave even if you try because your life is too far tied into it? you do know that if you peel back the layers of a transphobe you get a homophobe, no? you do realize that the leopards WILL eat your face too, right? that once the cishet terfs are done with the trans women that they will go after you too, yes? because that is exactly what will happen. i know it will, i've seen it far too many times. for example, i've seen "transvestigators" go after jk rowling and accuse her of being trans. it WILL happen to you. there is no going back if you go too far. rethink your life decisions, grow from the internalized homophobia you so clearly have, i can see it even if you refuse it.

"but it's not natural!" you may say, to which i would say "oh yes it is! female hyenas have pseudopenises that function like vaginas. female chickens and lions can, in rare cases, go through drastic hormonal changes so they look and act like males of their species. in schools of fishes, if there are no males, the largest and most powerful female will transition into a fully functioning male, even able to fertilize eggs."

"only WOMEN can have wombs and vaginas and have periods and give birth and no women have balls or penises!" you may say, to which i would say "what about infertile women? they are cisgender women with vaginas, some with wombs and ovaries, just no ability to have periods or give birth. what about intersex women? or women will internal testes that do not identify as intersex? are they not all women, despite being assigned female at birth? despite being born with vaginas? despite potentially being able to give birth, have periods, or have wombs?"

"but trans women sexually attack cisgender women!" you may say, to which i would respond with "no. no they do not. some do, but not all. there is scientific proof that transgender women and transgender men have extremely similar brain functions and operations as cisgender women and men. plus, would a predator not just waltz into a women's bathroom despite looking like a man? why go through the discrimination, the hardship, the pain and suffering, the chance to be murdered in broad daylight for being transgender, the transmisogyny, all to attack women?"

but, even what my words may tell you, i believe in you, i believe you can grow from this, even if it seems stupid that a trans minor is giving this talk to an adult terf. even if we are so wildly different and may never get along due to our world views.

grow up.

[transid-peace]

We still don't and likely never will understand how 🐜s can comprehend and respect transition when it comes to gender, and maybe in regards to species, but not with regards to anything else.

(Using "we" here in the multiplicity kind of way, and "you" in the general kind of way.)

For example, being trace. We know that one's sex organs don't dictate their gender. If someone transitions and/or doesn't identify with their AGAB, we respect that about them. Well, one's skin is also an organ. What makes the skin a more important organ than the genitals? If we can respect a person with gender dysphoria, why are other kinds of dysphoria any different?

Maybe it isn't about organs. Maybe it's about culture. OK. So, we know that it's transphobic and plainly wrong to say that a trans woman will never be a real woman because she will have never experienced life as a cis woman. That's bullshit because no two women are going to have exactly the same experiences, and there isn't one definitive experience that encompasses all of what womanhood is. A person who has lived life as a cis woman can still transition into another gender and potentially look back on those experiences to retroactively denounce their womanhood. And we would respect that person, we would agree. We would say, "Yes, despite the fact that you at one time considered yourself a woman, you are now something else and have since realized that you had never been a woman at all. The culture you were raised in and the person you once were do not dictate your gender as you are now."

Why is that the case for gender, but not race? What makes gender malleable and race immutable?

"Well, a trans woman/trace individual has never experienced misogyny/racism, so that's what makes them not a real woman/person of that race." Even if that were true, which it isn't, why are you defining what makes someone a "real" woman/person of that race by the oppression they face? Doesn't that suggest the idea that these identities, cis or trans, can't exist without oppression? Isn't that fucked up?

"Well, gender is a social construct, but race isn't." How? Again, why is that the case for gender, but not race? What makes gender malleable and race immutable?

Another example is being transabled. If an able-bodied and/or neurotypical person is in a traumatic accident and sustains an injury that disables them, we don't fake claim them. They were abled, and then they weren't, but we still support them. Somebody who's transabled might be so dysphoric about being physically or mentally abled that they would consider putting themselves in dangerous situations in the hope of becoming disabled. Would we fake claim them in that scenario? When we call it BIID instead of transabled, why is it suddenly more respected? Wouldn't allowing disability affirming surgeries be preferable to the possibility of transabled individuals putting themselves in harm's way?

"Using the prefixes 'trans' and 'cis' is transphobic, though." How? In what way? If I said "this ice transitioned into water" or "we transitioned from one topic to another," would that also be transphobic? They're just prefixes.

"But why would anybody want to be disabled?" I don't know! Why does anyone want to be a different gender? Why is your favorite color your favorite? Why do you like some foods more than others? Sometimes, there isn't an explanation or a reason, other than "it just feels right."

"Well, what about transbigotry? How is that different from regular bigotry?" That's something I have less knowledge about, but there are some reasons I can think of for individuals being transharmful. Maybe they have headmates who've done harmful things in their sources. Maybe they have intrusive thoughts, and they feel more in control of themselves if they have a label for those thoughts. To be fair, we ourselves are often uncomfortable when it comes to transbigotry, but as long as the person is only subjecting consenting parties to their transharmful or transbigoted acts, is it really so bad?

"What about transage? Isn't that just an excuse to be a predator?" No. We identify as transage because we have headmates who are ageless. We have headmates who are older than the body's chronological age and headmates who are younger than the body's chronological age. We have headmates who, in their sources, have existed since the beginning of time itself, and we have headmates who are technically only a few years old because they're robots. In most cases, one's chronological age takes precedence over their transage, and that's completely fine by us. We don't believe that someone who is chronologically ten years old should be operating heavy machinery unsupervised. We don't believe that someone who is chronologically eighty years old should be attending prom with a high-schooler as their prom date. And no, we absolutely do not condone relationships that are romantic or sexual in nature between chronological adults and chronological minors, regardless of how either identifies. This is kind of the "locker rooms" argument again. Why is your immediate assumption that someone who wants to transition is doing so for secretly nefarious reasons? What would anyone stand to gain? Do you also think trans women are secretly trying to dominate women's sports with their "unfair advantages" or something?

Could there potentially be individuals out there using transID labels in predatory ways? Sure, I suppose, but I really doubt it's actually working for them. Regardless of that, predators will use anything and everything as a tool against their victims, and they unfortunately exist in every corner of every pocket of every community. All we can do is try our best to protect ourselves and each other when we recognize them.

"Why not just use some other term instead?" Why should we when the terms we're using currently work perfectly well? Why should we change how we identify to make ourselves less abrasive for you?

[misspermitted]

Being a sex-repulsed asexual a lot of coming out stories don’t really speak to my experiences. Because I don’t date, never will date, experienced dating exactly once (in a hetero-conforming relationship) for like 3 days and wanted to die. Generally I don’t even participate in LGBT+ discussions because I don’t have a lot of sexuality experiences (and if i start talking about my gender i might cry). I just linger in the background of my friend groups and give relationship safety advice. Offer pizza. Call out toxic behaviour. Offer more pizza.

The thing about communities is to share your experiences they need to fit into the community’s categories. And I don’t think that’s bad. LGBT+ spaces are safe spaces for those in the community, and in order for that to happen they have to exclude certain discussions. It’s like female-identifying only spaces should exclude male-identifying people. It’s the whole point of a community.

This said, the other point of community is feeling less alone via shared experiences. So I thought I’d share a funny part of my sexuality journey which did seem pretty queer:

How I Made My Family Believe in Asexuality by Being So Goddamn Asexual They Actually Couldn’t Not

My family is generally really nice and supportive. But they’re also low-key homophobic. They’re getting better, but my mother straight up didn’t believe bisexuality existed for most of my childhood because “Everyone is attracted to men and women, just pick one.” (Yeah. She identifies as bisexual now.) Every so often someone says something transphobic and I get to call it out. Last I checked my sister still thinks gender fluidity is just people being attention seeking.

So when I came out as asexual, my sister sat me down, very well meaning, and told me that she also didn’t feel a lot of sexual attraction but when she started dating it came (yeah, I know, demisexual coded, but I’m not touching whatever the hell is going on with her). And because we’d both grown up without a lot of physical affection it’s just that. I should just try dating someone. No matter what arguments I made to the contrary both her and the rest of my family would often make comments to that vein (because internalised homophobia doesn’t listen to reason).

My mother did a retrospectively hilarious The Sex Talk: Pt. 2 “there’s nothing wrong with you and you’re definitely not asexual don’t worry.” She sat me down, very serious, and assured me that women get turned on less easily than men. So not being turned on by porn or being able to masturbate was normal for some women and didn’t mean anything was wrong with me and I was “asexual.” That was a fun conversation.

Somehow, despite their inability to listen to reason, I solved this problem about two years after coming out.

The thing about coming out is that you slowly stop pretending you’re straight. I didn’t even realise I was pretending before I came out (because, you know, I wasn’t dating anyone). But I was actually masking hard. I talked about dating way too much. Made way too many dirty jokes. It was weird. I was overcompensating the hell out of it. Which, after I came out, I slowly called myself out on until I stopped.

And it turns out when I’m not pretending to be attracted to people I am hilariously, almost stereotypically, asexual. For example, about a year after I came out I was watching Thor with my sister and this shirtless scene happened:

My sister: 😳

Me (turning to her): Hey did you know that when Chris Hemsworth filmed this movie he was so dehydrated that he almost died? Actually that might’ve been the movie after this. But it’s a huge thing to get actors to look like that they dehydrate them, which seems like a lot of health concern just to make them look like Greek sculptures. I mean I know he’s supposed to be a god but i really don’t think it’s necessary. Like Norse gods had different beauty aesthetics anyway.

My sister: (just stares at me for a second) It’s not so he looks like a Greek god it’s so he looks attractive

Me: I know but do the aesthetics really matter that much?

My sister: No, like, people watch this specifically because they’re attracted to Chris Hemsworth in these scenes

Me: Oh. So it’s for audience engagement?

My sister: I… guess so?

And that is how I acted so asexual I actually convinced my sister to believe in it. She has not made a comment about my asexuality since.

The same thing has happened with the rest of my family members. One by one they have become corrupted because I am just too asexual to be denied. You cannot meet me and maintain a state of disbelief.

We’ve gotten to the point where my mother is so certain about my sexuality she got offended for me, because “someone was calling themselves asexual but was in a sexual relationship with someone.” (We had a lovely discussion again about asexuality being a spectrum and just reflecting you having a not-normal level of sexual attraction. She still thinks this invalidates my experience and struggles which is very nice of her but once again I do not care. If people want to be one of the only sexualities still classified as a mental illness in the DSM-5 then the more the merrier. Gatekeep pizza not oppression.)

[contradictory-label-culture-is]

Random but what that anon said about the anti male-lesbian people reminds me of how SO many people seem to flat out not understand or realize that cis people can have funky gender stuff going on too, like for example how genderqueer literally includes cis folk too but nobody even acknowledges it, people just box all cis folk as if they're all cisnormative which is pretty ironic since it's like people think it's okay/normal for cis ppl to be GNC (mind you they always just think of it in a presentation sense and not understand GNC can also be like connected to a person's experience/gender & stuff) but the moment someone is cis but like is aligned with a different gender, identifies as cis yet in a different way, is multigender and cis, etc etc people either get mad or confused

Anyways sorry for the rant/vent, it's just been really bugging me since Im cis and use contradictory labels so I feel like I'm not "queer enough" or don't belong in spaces and stuff

I get it, like i feel like talking about cis people when trying to talk about transphobia or whatever is hard because it's not like cisgender is binary so trying to talk about those people like transphobic cis guys is harder.

I think trying to be inclusive with how you talk can seem easy but when you learn a lot and now you know cis people aren't exactly always binary with their gender, so talking about someone who is not in the LGBTQ community can be hard but you could probably just say it like that. People not in the LGBTQ community.

(I bring all that up cause I dunno I thought about it)

Gender is funky, boxes are meant to be broken or be usable in time, sometimes you have to be simply about it (like the people not in the LGBTQ community thing)

Honestly you said enough for me, I can't come up with something more.

[velvetvexations]

gender is so silly. i dont want to look like a girl because im transmasc but i DO want to look like a guy who looks like a girl. always fun when reading/watching something and they get to a crossdressing bit with one of the men and i feel some sort of way about it

This is exactly what TRFs would be down your throat about fetishizing transmisogynistic caricatures but I'm telling you it's okay and I'm the only person worth listening to on any subject.

I want to look like a girl who looks like a guy myself, but that's difficult to find. A vocal minority of the internet insists it's praxis to misgender cis men as often as possible but it's still considered a devastating and disgusting insult to say a woman looks masculine. I think Rhea Ripley is cool enough she'd be understanding if not entirely flattered that most of the reason I relate to her so much is that I was convinced she must have been a trans woman on sight.

But even with actual trans women, then it's even worse, which sucks because I do a happy little clap when I clock another correctly. Awhile ago I saw someone listing out signs a girl is AMAB to be a transphobic asshole but all I could think was about how ecstatic I'd be for someone to tell me those things, I'd just straight up be like "thank you for noticing!" like someone asked if I had my hair done.

I think that's what it means to me to be a male woman. Most trans women would obviously prefer to pass, and there are butch trans women, but I don't know if many of them conceptualize their butchness as being a feature of the body that got them AMAB or if it's just the same sense of style as butch-identifying cis women. For me it's very much the former. I'm loud and proud that my body is the kind that was assigned male. I don't intend to imply that must mean trans women who want to pass, or who don't center that physicality, hate themselves or anything, it's just a different path.

When I was younger I wanted so badly to look less masculine. The fact that I couldn't is, I think, a large part of why I eventually flipped the script and went all in on being masc, but most trans women who can't physically transition are either going to kill themselves or continue being miserable forever, and that sucks so much.

Even now, when I say I've been getting cooler with body hair lately, that doesn't mean I'm proud of or enjoy the hair on my actual body, but am more into the idea of my sona's design potentially having body hair in the future. I'm completely disassociated with this body entirely, which pre-dates me embracing masculinity. At a certain point, not being able to look the way I wanted to (feminine, then hyper-androgynous) made me snap and just fully break off from the physical world. This is especially true of Rally, the cis woman in our system, because the others feel themselves in this body but simply don't have a mental image of it at all, but she feels entirely removed even when fronting.

And as I noted before, my two examples of people I want to look like, particularly in regards to being visibly AMAB, were a clocky cis woman and a guy who the internet calls a faggot a million times a day, so there's still femininity there, androgyny.

Presentation sure is a thing.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Just to throw in a couple points real quick (because I can never keep an opinion to myself 😔 sorry), I personally kind of dislike the idea of a male and female gaze — not because I disagree with the concept of fetishism and objectification existing, they ABSOLUTELY do, but because of what people, particularly online, have come to accept they mean.

There has recently been discourse surrounding Love Lies Bleeding, a film created almost solely by queer women, “catering to the male gaze” which… I’m sure I don’t need to explain how silly that is lmao. I think this new wave of leftists clutching their pearls over literally any sign of sexual attraction and considering it to be synonymous with objectification has distorted people’s views of what these terms actually mean and have resulted in their gross misuse. Not to make this about me 💅🏻 but I see a lot of this similar discourse about trans people BY CIS PEOPLE whom are trying to be good allies by basically claiming that any sign of sexual attraction towards a trans person’s body is inherently fetishistic which I can’t lie… I kind of consider to be transphobic itself lol? You’re allowed to be sexually attracted to trans people and express that, no matter how their bodies look! The point at which it becomes fetishistic relies primarily on the WAY you express that and the language used — and I think that can apply to queer people in general too. I personally (and others may feel differently!) have zero issue with cis people enjoying trans NSFW content, and I also have no problem with straight women enjoying MLM content; because most of the time, I can tell from the LANGUAGE they use whether or not they are fetishising.

Point being, fetishism and objectification can go ALL ways and I don’t think people need to give excuses as to why they enjoy a certain type of content as long as it isn’t actively harming anyone. But I obviously can’t speak for everyone (especially queer women, I only identified as one for a year or two when I was a preteen lol) and people’s experiences tend to shape their opinions on these things 😅

Right and that's why I firmly stand behind my initial post about how it's no one's job to police people for what kind of content they consume! Because we don't know their motivations for how ot why they personally are interacting/consuming the work. It's incredibly easy to write off all enjoyment of a specific brand of content as fetishizing or sexualization when in reality, for the consumer it isn't that at all. My only point on the last ask was that sometimes, sometimes, it's easy to actually be doing exactly that (fetishizing etc) and not realizing it.

Intentions matter absolutely, but they're not the be-all-end-all of reality. It's like if I as a white person were to say something racist without realizing it was racist. That doesn't negate the racism, and it doesn't absolve me of my culpability, because my ignorance to my actions doesn't supercede my impact. You can be guilty of something without knowing that you are, and that's something you as person have to evaluate and confront on a personal basis. That was my only point in relation to what that anon said.

Again to reiterate, that is NOT saying that everyone who prefers queer work to straight work is guilty of that, because they're not. Full stop. And that alone is why I don't think anyone has or should have the authority to pass judgment on who can and can't consume certain kinds of media. Because, like you said, then you start wading into the murky waters of painting everyone with a broad brush, throwing accusations around that are universally damning despite not actually being universally true. And considering we're living in a period where puritan anti-sex brainrot is on the rise (alongside a deeply unsettling culture of condemnation over every little thing), opening that door can become very dangerous very fast. We're seeing it already.

I will tack on just as a thought regarding the trans character issue, I think that's kind of a perfect example of all these ideas aligning. Just in the most bare bones way of putting it: there is nothing inherently fetishizing about a cis person enjoying work including trans characters. There's nothing inherently fetishizing about a cis person enjoying, specifically, smut involving trans characters. There is nothing inherently fetishizing about a cis person preferring trans character stories over other kinds of media. However, if all they as a cis person consume is extremely sexualized renditions of trans characters, if their only interest in trans characters is porn - generally mostly devoid of complex storylines that create a fully rounded character -, then yeah I do think that's something they on an individual basis need to evaluate about themselves, because it's the difference between having a sexual attraction to a subsection of people versus seeing those same people as purely sexual objects. Does that make sense?

Same can be true for any other queer content being consumed by people that aren't historically the target audience.

But again, it's not really anyone else's place to make that call for anyone else.

[sophieinwonderland]

Friggin hate hate hate the way folks are just blatantly ignoring the lived realities of transphobia. Like this is literal transmedicalism and transmed rhetoric. Full stop.

The notion that you have to use the right language or else you don't face oppression is utter garbage. Fuck a lot of the transphobic legislation happening was sold as attacking Drag, which says nothing about a person's gender identity.

Like, apply any of this shit to singlets and it seems flatly obvious that it's transmed bs (at least I would hope so). Hell, wasn't the general explanation of transness "X trapped in a Y's body" up until the last like 5-10 years? I'd really like to see someone try to parse the difference between that and cis headmates in body's that don't match their gender.

This all just stinks of transmedicalism we've seen with our own two eyes. "You need to use my words or else you face zero of the same issues." Or "How dare you mention how you're affected by this, you don't even use the words I want you to use!" It's all so frustrating!

Anyways, thanks for staying strong! I thought your breakdown of your reasons for identifying as cis were really interesting and cool! Keep on being awesome! -Faye

Thank you Faye! 💖

That's a great point about the anti-drag laws, and it got me thinking about how a lot of transphobia and transphobic laws tend to rely on dog whistles to make them more appealing.

The far right doesn't say: "let's go take the rights of transgender people to use the bathroom that matches their gender."

They say: "we need to protect our daughters from men who will dress up as women to get into their bathrooms."

It's not exactly subtle but it leaves room for plausible deniability at least. It lets them say "we don't hate trans people, we just want to protect children."

Anti-trans rhetoric in many cases is masked as something else. It's not supposed to look transphobic and many of the people who lap it up or excuse it won't feel it is.

Anti-drag laws are sold as being against drag itself not trans people. Bathroom laws are sold as being against potential predators who may just be pretending to be trans.

What all of this boils down to is a form of transphobia that tries to look like it's actually against all of these other things and just happen to erode the rights of transgender people as it does. And because of this, actually calling yourself trans has very little to do with if you'd face discrimination or be impacted by transphobic laws.

I don't know why some people have such a hard time grasping that you can face discrimination and oppression even without using a certain label.

[talisidekick]

I got asked what the point of transitioning was if I wasn't going to date men ... three times now. Like these people were generally confused as to "... what's the point of becoming a woman if you're not into men?". As if transitioning is just about sex. All three of these people had self-identified as allies to me.

Explaining that transitioning in general is about being more myself, to align my social life and body with how my mind says it should be, was a mind boggling concept. And one of these people was queer and had the most push-back on the concept that I could go from living life as a straight man to a lesbian woman. As if by transitioning to a different gender would also transition my sexuality and romantic life to a different gender preference, that transitioning was a single straight man to straight woman or gay man to lesbian woman pipeline.

And the part that every one of these people was stuck on was sex. Even after explaining that I liked women and enbies before, and I like women and enbies now, all three were still stuck on "what's the point". Like ... I'm not a man. I don't identify as a man. Fundamentally my core being looks at all the infinite ways to be a man and goes: you're not that. And when I look at my pre-hrt photo's and early progress the immediate reaction isn't self recognition, and when it does click that that's me, my entire being goes: no. And to this day, 2 years in, still does that when I look in the mirror, though it's a bit better now. And still it took explaining it more than once to get it across that I'm not solely transitioning just to be a girl and have a vagina and get skewered by a guys penis. The concept that I might NOT medically transition that far, that I and others like me might keep the girly-as-fuck dick, that there's nothing in being transgender that says you have to get surgery, was just as baffling. That I'd be 1000% okay with girl dick and not guy dick (which I omitted the fact that I'm not repulsed by masculine and amab bodies, I'm just not romantically interested in dating guys.) kept getting me the "what's the difference?" question. The difference, for the record, is it's a girls or enbies dick. That matters to me and is fundamentally different.

It just really highlighted in that moment that some people, even allies, even queer allies, still look at trans people only in a sexual light. Maybe not fetishization exactly, but that transitioning is about sex and not a sense of self or personhood, which shouldn't be a thing because if being bi, gay, pan, etc isn't just about sex but being seen as a person no matter who you do or don't love and fuck and how, why would trans be any different? It kind of made me feel really gross after because all these people were allies and I was, prior to that conversation, just a woman for sex to all of them. I feel sick knowing that people, well intentioned, have the misconception that trans people are only transitioning for sex. I'm a woman in more ways than just my body. Trans people aren't just their bodies. Thinking otherwise is just erasing every fundamental part of a trans persons identity besides sexual activity. That's gross. We're people. Just because I can be sexual doesn't make that all that I am.

I get that transphobes promote that kind of thinking, but I just assumed everyone who was an ally knew that was horseshit. It's horrifying to see that I was very wrong in that assumption. That a single sexy photo is all someone will think I am as a person who's trans, and not the million other things that help make up my identity as a person.

[aardvaark]

let's talk about how to spot TERF rhetoric & what TERF dogwhistles exist, because it's important to make your blogs actually safe for trans people!

unfortunately, i still see TERF posts that seem innocuous enough, making their way to my dash because people don't notice the dogwhistles. or TERF rhetoric appearing in feminist conversations and going unidentified & unchecked. also, it's one thing to say you hate TERFs, but it's important to actually know what it is you disagree with! and to make sure you're not so susceptible to propaganda!

note: "TERF" stands for "trans-exclusionary radical feminist". its worth remembering that TERFs believe general feminism ideas, and almost always consider themselves to be left-leaning in politics. TERFs generally believe that trans activism is in some way incompatible with feminism. this is different to conservatives and anti-feminists who hate trans people for other reasons, like based on their religious beliefs, patriarchal values/sexism, general bigotry, etc etc. and i know, yeah, you can argue that TERFs still ultimately hate trans people for these reasons or that TERFs are inherently anti-feminist, but i'm just here to tell you about what TERFs believe. and thats what TERFs believe about themselves.

TERF terms & definitions. many of these apply more broadly to transphobes in general, but they are very much also used by TERFs.

TIM: "trans-identified male", ie any amab person who is trans/nonbinary, usually trans women, because they believe that trans women are males who identify as trans.

TIF: "trans-identified female", ie any afab person who is trans/nonbinary, usually trans men.

libfem: "liberal feminists" which generally just refers to feminists who are trans-inclusive, rather than feminists who hold liberal political views

radfem: "radical feminists" which is what TERFs call themselves. technically radical feminists are not always trans-exclusionary, however radfem ideas tend to go hand-in-hand with a lot of transphobic ideas, and the terms "TERF" and "radfem" are often used interchangeably on tumblr, by TERFs and non-TERFs alike.

autogynephiliac/AGP: a male who is sexually aroused by the idea of himself as a female, or who has a fetish for being a female within a sexual fantasy. this is what some TERFs believe some/most/all trans women "actually are". it is generally believed that AGPs should not be allowed to transition medically, and that they are perverts or a danger to cis women. part of Blanchardism.

transsexual-homosexual/TSHS: a "real" trans woman, in comparison to an AGP (explained above). within this framework, the "real" trans women must be sexually attracted to (cis) men exclusively, and must have known they were transgender since they were very young due to significant gender dysphoria. TSHS are considered preferable to AGPs, and some TERFs & other transphobes think that only TSHS-types should be allowed to transition.

same-sex attraction: not always a dogwhistle or intentional! especially not in older sources or scientific sources. however, many TERFs are very specific about saying that all lesbians can only ever be attracted to cis women (and opposite way round for gay men). so, trans women are invading lesbian spaces by... existing or dating, i guess.

gender ideology: the "ideology" that sex and gender are different, or that its possible & fine to be transgender. the exact traits of this "ideology" vary wildly between different accounts. its kind of like the "gay agenda" but for being transgender.

TRAs: "trans rights activists", ie anyone who supports trans people.

adult human female: TERF definition of what a woman is, and something you will see TERFs call themselves or put in their profiles. honestly gotta applaud this dogwhistle because its exactly what a dogwhistle is meant to be - seemingly totally innocuous, nothing much you can debate about it, but used to identify their

gyns: fellow women, fellow TERFs. in the way that most people might start a post with "hey guys" or "hey everyone", you'll see TERF posts started with "hey gyns". think "gynecologist", it comes from Greek.

womxn, wombyn, womyn, womon, etc: taking the "men" out of "women", very second-wave feminism. wombyn to include "womb" and emphasise the importance of being afab. (ironically womyn/womxn is sometimes used by trans allies in an attempt to be more inclusive of nonbinary ppl and trans women, but ultimately that's really not helpful either).

biological women, natal females, real women, etc: many TERFs dislike the term "cis", and will replace it with virtually anything else to distinguish between themselves and trans women.

hygienic (as a dogwhistle): not sure how popular it is currently, but some TERFs call themselves "hygienic" in their bios to discretely indicate that they are cisgender & are TERFs.

self-hating women: afab people who are trans/nonbinary. comes from the idea that afab people only transition because of internalised misogyny or body dysmorphia or something similar.

gender critical: opposing "gender ideology" as previously explained, thinking that biological sex is the only important thing. another term that many TERFs will use to refer to themselves or tag their posts with.

the ones that are most commonly used as dogwhistles or which may go unnoticed in bios/popular posts, are; adult human female/AHF, womxn/womyn/womon, hygienic, biological women, and (complaints about) liberal feminists.

now onto TERF-related concepts & TERF rhetoric

remember: not all TERFs believe all of these things. some will believe many/all of these ideas, some will only believe one or two, some might actually have a totally different ideology thats rare enough that i've never even heard of it. also, they might follow these ideologies but disagree that its what they believe, or they might believe these ideas without knowing their origin.

blanchardism: the ideas created by Richard Blanchard, a sexologist in the 1980s-90s. this is where the AGP/TSHS dichotomy comes from, as well as other transphobic ideas primarily about trans women. in regards to trans men,

bioessentialism/gender essentialism: the idea that there are distinct, intrinsic qualities that differ between amab people and afab people. that afab people are biologically predetermined to be X and biologically made for Y, and that amab people are biologically predetermined to be A and biologically made for B, basically. this is also classic sexism, with ideas like "men should go to work, while women should be homemakers" and "women are inherently more emotional and less intelligent than men" being examples of bioessentialism too.

gender socialisation: sort of like bioessentialism, but based on early childhood experiences rather than genes. idea that all children assigned male are treated and brought up one way (which involves "boys will be boys" sort of lifestyle, being allowed to do anything, no responsibility, being taught to be violent, being allowed to harm girls they're attracted to, etc) and all children assigned female are brought up a different way (which involves constant sexism & misogyny, patriarchal standards thrust upon them, huge amounts of responsibility, early objectification, being harmed by boys/men). now, its not untrue that afab kids and amab kids tend to be treated differently, especially if their parents are more conservative or part of an older generation, at least within the western/american cultural sphere (although this disregards the variation that exists in everyones childhoods but... anyway). however, this concept is used by TERFs to claim that (a) amab people are inherently irresponsible, violent, perverted, etc, (b) trans women are all male-socialised, and (c) thus, trans women are a danger to cis women, do not understand what it is to be female, and must be excluded from womanhood.

girlhood/womanhood as suffering: the idea that being assigned female leads to a childhood of suffering (due to gender socialisation as described above) and an adulthood of suffering due to futher sexism, so trans women (who allegedly didn't experience this) must be excluded from womanhood. this suffering is often romanticised in a sorta disturbing way.again, obviously sexism exists and causes a lot of suffering, but its the conclusion of "so trans women are bad" that is... just ridiculous. also holds the idea that trans women & girls do not experience sexism or are totally unaffected by it. and basing entry to womanhood on suffering is fucked up because, like... don't we want young girls to suffer less? isn't that a huge part of feminism? anyway.

trans women are privileged: the idea that trans women benefit from male privilege & also get treated particularly well by the rest of the LGBTQ community. often apparently because other trans & queer people are "too scared" to get accused of transmisogyny if they speak up. idea that theres a "silent majority" of queer people & trans allies who actually dislike trans women and/or agree with TERF ideas, but they're "too scared" to be accused of transmisogyny, so they never speak up. disregards the existence of transmisogyny & assumes that most people are trans allies, apparently.

trans women oppress afab trans people: the above, but specifically afab trans people being "too scared" to go against trans women. paints trans women as evil, controlling, cunning, angry & oppressive. disregards the existence of transmisogyny, often also assumes that trans women are pretending to be trans on purpose. paints afab trans people as poor, fragile, confused women, who have been tricked by evil trans women, and who are in need of saving.

gender abolition: the idea that yes, gender is a social construct, so we should get rid of it entirely. through a TERF lens, that also means that trans people are in the way of gender abolition because they identify as whatever gender they identify as, and that encourages belief in gender.

sex-based feminism: the idea that all misogyny and sexism is tied exclusively to biological sex, and thus feminism, as an opposition to sexism, should be concerned exclusively with the female sex.

gender/sex separatism, or female separatism: idea that feminism is exclusively for women, men can't be feminists, and a lot of bioessentialist ideas about the "impurity" of letting amab people into feminist spaces, whether thats cis men or transfems & trans women. idea that women should run society, or that men should be fully excluded from an idealistic utopian female-only society.

lesbian separatism: feminist movement exclusively for trans-exclusionary cis lesbians. holds the idea that virtually any contact with men (or, really, amab people) is anti-feminist, to the point that even bisexual cis women who are TERFs too but may sleep with/be in a relationship with men, are traitors. usually claims that trans women & transfems are invading lesbian spaces & tricking cis lesbians into having sex, which was already a transphobic concept used by heterosexual men. also, that a cis lesbian choosing to have sex with a trans woman (particularly an individual who hasn't had bottom surgery, but honestly often pefcieved the same way even if they have) is somehow being manipulated by that trans woman and that it is comparable to conversion therapy. this is transphobic, transmiogynistic, AND biphobic. the lesbian-exclusive idea does seem to have diminished a bit in TERF spaces, though - i used to see it a lot more. but the idea of trans women invading lesbian/wlw spaces is still pervasive.

gender dysphoria as body dysmorphia: people who transition actually just hate their bodies, and are encouraged by the "gender extremists" or whatever to transition as a solution.

gender dysphoria as internalised misogyny: the idea that afab trans people, especially trans men, are only transitioning due to internalised misogyny. that they desire male privilege, they have dysmorphia due to patriarchal standards (as described above), they don't want to be sexualised by men, etc.

transition to distance oneself from privilege: the idea that trans women are transitioning as a way to distance themselves from their male privilege. ironically the exact opposite of the above. may also contain the idea that straight people, white people, or otherwise privileged people, "become trans" to give themselves an extra marginalised identity.

gender dysphoria as sexual trauma: the idea that some/many/all trans people only want to transition because they were sexually abused/assaulted. either because they don't want to be seen as the sex they were when they were abused/assaulted, or

gender dysphoria as mental illness: it's in the DSM so obviously it must be just a mental illness! yikes. anyway, they'll point out that many trans people have mental health issues, so being trans must also be some sort of delusion, paraphilia, confusion, or other sort of mental illness.

exclusionism: asexual & aromantic exclusionism, nonbinary exclusionism, bi & mspec exclusionism, etc. the idea that some identities are fake and/or that they aren't oppressed enough to be part of the LGBTQ community. this is harmful in & of itself, of course. but it's also a lead-in to trans exclusionism, since TERFs push the idea that transness is fake in some way or another, and that trans women aren't really oppressed, or retain male privilege.

these are all the examples i can think of right now. if i think of more, or anyone lets me know about more! thanks for taking the time to listen.

[sasheneskywalker]

am i the only person who has never struggled with their queer identity?

i was thinking about it recently and i don't remember ever being ashamed, scared, angry or sad about being bisexual, nonbinary, grayaromantic, grayasexual and polyamorous. (yes, i use that many labels. it makes sense in my head.) i had unrestricted access to the interent from a pretty young age (11) and i discovered what a sexual orientation was after entering more english/american spaces and reading fanfiction when i was around 13 years old. i've just read the definitions and went, "yeah, i'm bisexual. why would anyone limit themselves to loving only one gender?" and that was it. my only frame of reference about queer people was fanfics and cool people i've seen online. my parents never talked about lgbtq+ issues (neither in a positive nor in negative light) and i didn't know anyone who was queer in real life, so you could say i was a blank slate when it came to any preconceived notions or biases (of course we live in cisheteronormative society which probably influenced my views on a subconscious level but i'm just taking about being consciously aware about something here.)

it was similar with realizing i was nonbinary, grayaromantic, grayasexual and polyamorous. i've read the definitions, comments made by people identifying that way, some research papers and books and came to the conclusion that these labels fit me. no angst anywhere.

i came out to my family pretty much immediately when my brother asked me if i was interested in any boys in middle school and i replied with full indignation that if he had to ask about it, he should also ask about any girls i might be interested in. my mother was there too. i don't think any of them took me seriously considering my age (i was 14) and the fact that i had to have many more conversations with my mother about being bisexual (and later nonbinary, grayaromantic, grayasexual and polyamorous) before she believed me in some way and even now she still thinks it's just a "phase" and that i'm "confused" or "just looking for attention" and that my girlfriends are only my good friends (but she still supports my relationship and tries very hard not to be outright homophobic/transphobic). my brother realized like 6 years later and asked me if i really was queer and seemed surprised when i told him i was. i still don't know what my father thinks. i told him i had a boyfriend when i was 15 and i told him i had two girlfriends when i was 20 and his reaction was exactly the same: nodding his head and saying "okay". he sometimes uses slurs but also supported me during a project i was doing on being nonbinary and bought me a book written by a trans scholar on christmas.

and i've never done any official coming outs either. in most friend groups, it comes out naturally that i'm queer when we're getting to know each other and it has never been a problem. i've never been met with a negative reaction. (it's worth noting that most of my irl friends are from middle class families, live in big cities and went to very good schools).

and it's not that i'm not aware about queerphobia existing in our society. i read books written by queer people and i read histories of lgbtq+ communities (and it's often pretty bleak). our country is one of the most homophobic countries in europe. the previous government of our country said that "lgbt ideology" and "gender ideology" are a threat to our nation and should be eliminated. i had close queer friends whom i supported when their families and friends didn't accept them. but it all feels one step removed from me.

i can walk alone at 3am around my city (the capital of poland) as a female presenting person with a rainbow handbag and flag pins in a party outfit and nobody ever bothers me. i went to a pride parade this year and there weren't any counter protests, the police were chill and nothing horrible happened. and despite talking with people who used some passive aggressive remarks and weren't completely accepting, i've basically never experienced violent or threatening queerphobia in my life.

i guess it's just interesting to me how much my experiences differ from common queer narratives i observe in media and in real life around me and how my upbringing shaped who i am today.

[caxycreations]

You know what I'm tired of seeing? I'm tired of seeing this phrase:

This was tagged on a post regarding transgender rights and awareness.

You know why I'm sick and tired of seeing it?

Because I want every single person who uses it to define a man to me, and they never will, because they judge me based on my appearance, on the flesh I was born into.

What is a man? Is it anyone with a dick? Well there goes your whole "support women" schtick, cause not all people with a dick are men.

Is it anyone who identifies as male? Well there goes your whole "support trans people" schtick, cause some men are afab.

Is it anyone who is a cis man? Well there goes your "acceptance and love" schtick, cause some cis men are allies who are fighting just as adamantly about our right to live and love and be ourselves as we are.

Is it anyone who LOOKS like a man? Well there goes ALL OF THE ABOVE, because then you're judging based on outward appearance, assuming their identity, and generalizing that they must be awful and horrible, because they look like a man and therefore they are one and should stay away from you, which is EXACTLY what the homophobes and the transphobes say about US.

Do you have deep-rooted trauma surrounding men from a majorly traumatic moment or a series of them throughout your life? Alright, I get that, I can respect that, by all means, continue, build your safe space and do it your way.

Or do you just hate "men" (whatever the hell you define that as) because you had a couple annoying experiences or you met a few bad apples and let them dictate the entire rest of your life by allowing them to live rent free in your head as eternal reminders to be hateful?

"men dni" which men? trans men? transfems that look male? People with both parts that present as male, willingly or unwillingly? Non-Binary folk who present as male?

What men aren't allowed to interact, and why?

And I know, I know, asking why is a huge faux pas, but it's fucking important to ask why in this case.

It's stupid as hell for Taylor Femgal or Alex Boyfella to be a bigot against all men and male-presenting individuals, trans or not, while simultaneously saying "Trans people should be loved and respected!" because then it's ultimately not about trans people, because what Tammy is actually saying is "The trans people I LIKE should be loved and respected!" which is fucking AWFUL as a platform.

On the other hand, it's completely justified if Riley Ladygirl or Jamie Mascdude went through hell for six years solid at the hands of a man (or group of men) and now has a legitimate ptsd response to seeing/interacting with men or male-presenting individuals.

I'm sorry if that's a hot fucking take but I don't see how someone can preach acceptance and love and tolerance while simultaneously alienating an entire extremely-hard-to-define group of the human population, WHILE ALSO condemning and demonizing the people they're alienating FOR ALIENATING OTHERS.

You don't get to be an ally and a hypocrite at the same time. You don't get to say "We deserve to exist" when you're telling another group they don't deserve to exist.

We don't fucking trade fascists for fascists.

So let me make this VERY fucking simple.

If you have "men dni" in your dni list, just fucking block me. Because you're either saying "No men, not even the allies that risk their lives right alongside us at pride events in dangerously anti-lgbt cities", or you're saying "No trans masc individuals, if they identify as men they're just as bad", or you're saying "No trans fem individuals, they were born male so they're bad", or you're saying ALL of these at once.

And I for one will NOT fucking sit here and see more of that absolute horse-shit on my dash.

Still here? Cool, one last thing to say.

ALL TRANS PEOPLE ARE FUCKING VALID, AND I FULLY BELIEVE IN TRUE, COMPLETE GENDER EQUALITY, WITHOUT ALL OF THIS STUPID "MEN SUCK" "WOMEN SUCK" BULLSHIT.

We're all just people trying to do our best, so stop fucking ADDING to the piles and piles of hatred. Even if you're one of the people with "men dni" in your dni list, know that I still support your identity, I still love you as one human to another, and I will still advocate and fight for your right to exist in a state of life that is comfortable and joyous to you.

But I cannot and will not sit here and see more and more people telling entire genders not to interact simply for being the gender.

Isn't the entire point of fighting for trans rights and gender equality so that EVERYONE, regardless of sex or gender or identity, can stand on the same level footing as equals, interacting and loving and being free side by side?

Stop fucking saying "I advocate for trans rights" when you're literally turning around and saying "Unless they're a man".

[homeschool-winner]

I fuckin hate when people refute right wing talking points by throwing their allies under the bus in exactly the way the right winger wants. Like

R: Children are identifying as animals and schools are putting litter boxes in the bathrooms for mentally ill children who think they're cats! This is where gender ideology leads!

L: No, that isn't happening, it's transphobic propaganda. Nobody actually identifies as a cat.

R has made a target out of therian, otherkin, furry and animal gender people, who I know for a fact do in fact exist, by making an outlandish claim and using trans people as the scapegoat. L has taken the bait, and joined R in targeting those communities by denying that they exist and the validity of their identities. This is bad! This alienates people who genuinely do identify as cats and find comfort and pride in that identity, and for what? Who have you defended here?

Or another example I just saw:

R: Gov. Walz made it possible for illegals to get driver's licenses, meaning they're able to vote!

L: That's not how it works, only citizens can vote, driver's licenses just mean you can drive legally and identify yourself as yourself more easily.

L has agreed with the premise that IF "illegal immigrants" were allowed to vote, it would be a bad thing, because they've been forced to defend the position that they cannot vote. Illegal immigrants are people who live within the country, are subject to the country's laws, are affected by political policy, and *should* be able to vote. L has taken a pro-disenfranchisement position, which means that even if R's "claim" is easily refuted as technically false, they have still won the exchange by shifting the overton window right and reframing the narrative around the underlying racist and xenophobic belief they already held.

Basically what I mean is: you can effectively defeat right wing propaganda by just saying "based if true" to any fearmongering garbage they spout.

[sailorsplatoon]

making sure i have this right, your captain is trans and 8 presents as masculine? or uses masculine pronouns? how did everyone react to learning this? and which of them had to explain it to the kids?

First of all, yes all of that is right! My Captain is transfemme and my Eight both presents as maculine and uses mac pronouns. Don’t ask me what his gender is specifically, I have no idea. I’m going to say he prorbably doesn’t either.

I like the idea of Cap transitioning throughout all the games, so in Splat 1 she didn’t know she was trans, in Splat 2 she realized it and started transitioning, and in Splat 3 she’s fully transitoned. So Callie, Marie, Marina, Pearl, Eight, and Four kind of always knew, since she was very open about it for her whole transition. But by Splat 3 she didn’t talk about it as much, simply because she had fully transitioned. Because of that, Neo, Shiver, Frye, and Big Man didn’t know at first. Upon finding out, Neo didn’t really care too much. It’s mostly just happy to have another genderqueer person around (jokes on it, all my agents are genderqueer. Me? Projecting? Never.) Shiver, Frye, and Big Man are a little more surprised, since they had just assumed Captain had always been biologically a girl. Though they’re totally fine with it of course. (No transphobic characters on my blog!)

For Eight, I think he probably started questioning his gender at some point in the Deepsea Metro. He had a lot of time to think there, and one of the big things on his mind was who he is. He forgot most of himself, so he was trying to find himself again. In that process, he realized he didn’t like identifying as a girl. He still doesn’t know exactly how he wants to identify (mainly because I don’t know what label I want him to use), but he knows he likes being masculine. There was never really a big revelation of Eight’s gender. He did come out of course, but it was very very casual and everyone kind of assumed it already. What happened moreso was he gradually started making changes to how he expressed his gender, until he looked way more masculine than he did before. Then he just asked people to start calling him by he/him and that was it. Nobody really had a big reaction, since Eight never made a huge deal about it, so they didn’t have to either.

I get the feeling Captain would be the one to explain all of this to the kids. A lot of them somewhat understand already, seeing as many of them have parents that are genderqueer in some way, though they don’t know all the details. So Captain takes the time to answer all of their questions. She doesn’t mind talking about it, if anything she enjoys it.

Thank you for the ask!!! I wrote a lot again… much like Captain, I like talking about this kind of stuff.