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#i genuinely am just tired.. i've been tired for a while
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Lord Husband (Chapter 13)
A/N: i'm sorry yall, i feel like my posting is getting slower and slower. I know this a short one too but i've been so stressed with uni
WORD COUNT: 862 words
Series masterlist
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Both Safia and Rose are waiting for you when you get back from your supper.
“Gods, i’m nearly ready for bed. I’m so tired.” You groan as you walk into the room but both of the girls can see clearly that you walk as if you’re much lighter than you have been for the past few weeks.
“Yes, princess. Your ride was very long today. You entirely skipped lunch.” Safia muses, fetching yours and her own needlework. She hands you yours before sitting on a settee across from the armchair you rest on.
“I suppose I did.” You murmur as you make yourself comfortable, not yet looking at the needlework.
“Your meal with Lord Stark seemed to perk you up.” Rose comments and Safia shoots her a pointed look for her impertinence. She always was the more bold one of the two. 
“I look happier because he said we should have my brothers over for a visit, not because I shared a meal with him.” You say sharply.
“That is wonderful news, princess!” Safia states politely but her joy is clearly genuine as well. She’s loved nothing more than playing with little Aegon and Viserys since her brother died.
“Yes, very wonderful.” Rose adds. It isn’t that she is unhappy with the news, she just senses that it isn’t the only reason you’ve come back to your chambers with such a smile on your face.
Rose is higher born than Safia and you can tell in these moments. She is much less frightened to speak her mind than the lowborn girl is even if she is only the daughter of a second born son whose house is nothing close to prominent. You’ve always liked that about her; Rose doesn’t let her station define her and that’s one of the reasons she’s your closest friend.
“You have other thoughts on your mind, Rose. Speak them.”
“I wouldn’t want to overstep, princess.” She replies. The girl may be bold but she isn’t stupid. She knows how easy it is to hit a nerve when speaking of your relationship, or lack thereof, with Cregan.
“You’ve never had that problem before.” You point out and Safia smiles at the comment, looking back down at her needlepoint right away.
“I just sensed that you were getting along better with your husband. It pleases me to see you smile once in a while. It used to grace your face so often back in Dragonstone, and even in Kingslanding. Now, it seems as though you haven’t smiled for weeks.” it's a sad notion but you aren’t regretful of your coldness.
“I am the last woman in this world to sit down and take the hand they’ve been given by an unfair dealer.” You muse. The anger all feels justified, thinking of yourself as an avenging angel. “If I am compliant in my own misery then every other woman will follow suit... They’ll have no choice. I’m the second most powerful woman in the world and I had no choice.” You say solemnly.
“Change is coming, princess.” Safia starts. “It is just… slow.”
“Look at your mother. Westeros had not seen a queen rule in her own right before her.” Rose says.
“At this rate, our children won’t even see a fair world.” You reply.
“But the later generations will benefit.” Safia says optimistically. “Prince Jacaerys will see that it is continued.”
“Yes… Jacaerys.” You murmur bitterly. “Is it so wrong that I want to benefit from it? More could be done.”
The girls ignore the slight against your mother and Rose speaks again, “It could take… unfathomable amounts of violence to accomplish such a thing.”
“Who cares for the lives of men who are unfaithful to their ruler?”
“And those men’s children, wives, families, are innocent but if you kill the head of their house, they would never forget it. They might not directly call for vengeance but most would resent a radical ruler. People of status rarely care for radicality. It diminishes their power.”
“Death would extinguish it.” You murmur. The girls know you aren’t truly serious but such laxness in reference to violence discomforts them. “Jacaerys will continue our mother’s progressions but that doesn’t make him any less of a man. He can’t truly understand.”
“I am sure Lady Baela will be of aid to him in that.” Safia adds thoughtfully.
But it could’ve been you aiding him. Though, the people would never chant your name the way they chant his.
“She will make a good queen one day.”
“Perhaps one day your brother will take you on as an advisor.” Rose suggests. She sees how badly you want control.
“If I’m not too busy tending to Stark’s children.” You scoff.
“They will be your children too, princess. I am sure you will love them as any mother loves their child.” Safia says kindly.
You ponder on her words for a moment, wondering if a mothers love if truly unconditional. Is there something inherent in childbirth that will make you fall in love with the babe that tears itself from your womb?
You’re not sure if you’ll ever love the children Cregan puts in your belly.
“Perhaps.” 
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mercymaker · 1 month
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i spent quite a bit of time thinking, considering my options and wondering if i should even respond to the 'apology' to begin with, but i feel like i've been here before, in this exact same position (i didn't respond to his original 'apology' because it felt off how he omitted the fact that he pretended to be the victim for a whole week, but even then i decided to not say anything and just let the dust settle and give him a chance to learn and do better) and doing nothing eventually just caused more harm. even if i can't reach the other side and find common understanding, i wanted to at least express what's been on my mind for such a long time.
i always try to approach people and situations with understanding and try to assume ignorance instead of malice when someone says or does something i consider questionable or wrong. but i also know we all have our limits. we are all human. and you can't take the heart out of the equation.
one thing in this 'apology' that really stood out to me was this:
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how is it not malice to completely disregard another creator, hell, another person and their wishes and feelings when they have made it very clear that your actions are causing them harm?
how is it not malice to outright lie and misrepresent other people and situations in order to portray yourself in a better light?
how is it not malice to disrespect the people you've stolen from and then, after they (by your own words!) rightfully address it and try to bring your actions to light, you then turn around and vilify them to your friends and followers? portray them as bullies and gatekeepers?
all while repeating again and again how the whole experience made you stop creating? as if your actions didn't force people out of this space, this fandom? have you ever sat down to think how the person that made you a 40 minute video tutorial on gif making, the person that taught you so much, no longer makes anything at all because you turned your back on her and copied her sets? kept doing it after she blocked you? after she made text posts expressing how upsetting your behaviour was? you didn't care and kept doing it anyway. even saying things like 'i always credit where credit is due' in response to copying numerous sets from @minthara, down to the caption without ever crediting her.
and if that wasn't enough harm, you then took it a notch further and straight up lied to the people around you, trying to vilify petra and i by saying how the whole thing should've been dealt with in private. how is it not malice to omit the fact that I DID, in fact, reach out to you privately. that i did it in a civil manner. that i tried to explain to you how your actions were wrong and were rightfully upsetting other creators. how you ignored everything i've said and when i expressed that your response (or lack of it) made me uncomfortable and that because of it i couldn't give you permission to 'recreate' (copy) my work, you then insulted me and told me that it didn't matter what i wanted? that you would do as you please and there was nothing i could do about it? how you then immediately blocked me so i couldn't even respond? how is that not malice?
and then this was from your apology back in march:
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and you insist that after this 'apology' you've learnt and were never doing anything wrong again and yet you are saying the same thing again in your new 'apology'. how after the march events you went to @galedekarios anyway, asking for permission, didn't wait for her response and posted your copy of her set anyway. which just makes me think that you've never learnt. it just makes it seem that asking people for permission never stemmed from a place of respect and understanding, but from the need to cover your ass in case someone brings the fact that you're still copying up. which someone did, apparently.
at the end of the day, this is my opinion and i might be wrong, but following all of your words and actions, it just seems like you chose notes and attention instead of people. that you kept lying and misrepresenting things and throwing us under the bus for your own gain. and that you only stopped because enough people eventually found out, not because you suddenly felt remorse. and this 'apology' was just another 'ask for permission from a creator', all just for optics. you couldn't even bother to unblock us before posting the 'apology' which just shows how little you were actually thinking about any of us.
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chrisbangs · 9 months
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hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
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piplupod · 2 months
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mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset
#oohoohoo the self destructive ''well maybe I'll just push myself bc im going to be tired either way'' sure was a bad choice!#''lol who cares anymore im sick of being fatigued and im probably just making it up'' you are a fucking idiot god bless your soul#and yet.... the urge to Make It Worse is still so strong.... gee i sure do love p.mdd!#honest to god im so fucking frustrated w this brain lately#been trying to hide any sharps away from myself because I've just been so wildly careening into self destructive tendencies#and im sick of trying to like. control myself. i am my own keeper and im fucking sick of it gjfkdl#im trying so fucking hard to hold it together and keep myself on the right path but im really just incredibly tired#it feels like im trying to wrestle a knife out of a toddler's hand#and then the toddler cries and tantrums bc they wanted the knife#and i have nothing to give them to distract them. except im also the toddler.#idk how long i can keep this up for bc im ALSO managing other ppls emotions and baggage and shit at the centre#and over text. mainly that one person who i wish would just fucking leave me alone#but her grandma is literally on her deathbed so I can't rly try learning how to be firm rn#bc if i try to be firm i worry i will end up being a dick and i dont want to do that while she's struggling w pre-emptive grief#i don't know !!! im just so goddamn exhausted and struggling#and the world seems very cruel and terrifying and im honestly convinced im never going to find a way to exist peacefully in it#like im always going to be scared and struggle to trust ppl and struggle to socialize and feel safe anywhere#im going to be so honest. i wish i had One friend irl fhfkdl like. i think that would help a lot of my issues#to have someone i care about and respect and who actually cares about AND respects me back#and who i could just. be around. exist in the same vicinity. and not feel so scared and unsafe#a bit of a break from those constant feelings while not being isolated#who i could do activities with ???#thats actually so hard for me to imagine ever having ffhdjlsl its been so many years since I've had any semblance of that#it doesn't feel like im ever going to have that again :') it feels so impossible. pipe dream. unrealistic and unattainable#okay i need to shut up fhdksl sorry for being so insane on here every day jfc#one of these days i hope i will be genuinely stable for like... longer than a day fhfkdl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#self harm mention
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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months
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playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there
#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think#nyarla dni#(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only)#listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is#his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b#wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha#she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives#in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh#GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK.#it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT.#and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters#anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed#he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him#hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry#dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired)#anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed#(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he#insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex#half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he#needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw#her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh#was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY#look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean.#but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i#you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never#let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH#and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her#and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM#look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it#was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave
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crippledpunks · 5 months
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chronic fatigue weaves its way into everything. people love to tell disabled people they'd love to rest as much as we do, but they fail to understand how tired we are while we rest. we are not relaxed, we are generally pretty miserable, either from pain, irritability, or fatigue- which bleeds into every aspect of your life. being too fatigued to get up off of the couch means that you're too fatigued to get to the cupboard to pull out pans to attempt to start cooking.
the steps hidden within steps that are required to do a lot of tasks related to being a "functioning adult" are daunting, there are often way too many steps necessary to make "Simple" foods or do "simple" chores for disabled people to accomplish these tasks. chronic fatigue often means that even waking up from a nap or night's rest requires time to adjust to and power through
waking up is a process for me. im often no more alert and awake hours after i've woken than I am right after doing so. caffeine does not help fatigue- at least not at safe doses, for me, anyways. many days the act of moving from my bedroom to my living room is too much. taking dishes to the sink can be too exhausting. i have began falling asleep in front of the kitchen counter while standing because i realize the amount of steps required to clean the counters, or do the dishes, or prepare a meal that all of my energy instantly bleeds away
it's okay if you feel this way too. i have been dealing with chronic fatigue my entire life and it cost me my best paying job. i lost my ability to work because of it. it's not just you being "sleepy", you are genuinely too exhausted to function. you do NOT have the energy levels other people do, and that's okay. it's okay to let yourself be tired sometimes and address that instead of trying to pretend you're not tired.
i wish you good luck. you are loved
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bunn-iiii · 1 year
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I do not feel good
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jwonsoon · 6 months
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Enhypen's reactions to you being super talkative when they're tired ⋆.˚ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
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☾ a/n: It has been a minute !!! Me and bff have been so so busy since it's our final semester of high school. But I am here to provide for my delusional folk <3 I honestly wrote this on a whim because I've been feeling extra insane lately with all the work I have to do so ignore any stupid mistakes I make in this. I want to post more on here for sure, senior year is coming to a close soon and me and bff are moving into a new university together so hopefully we'll have time for more posts. Okay enough yapping, go read! pairings: enhypen x g/n reader genre: fluff
cw: kissing (nothing crazy dw), ignore grammatical errors!
JUNGWON
He doesn’t care if his life is on the line, the last thing he’s going to do is make you feel rushed when you’re talking about something you’re genuinely interested in. 
He finds you SO cute when you’re mumbling about something that you enjoy !! He gazes at you with his boba eyes nodding along to everything you say 
“Oh my god sorry I’m talking so much” you say to him embarrassed at how comfortable you’ve gotten in his presence and how he’s probably so tired 
He’ll immediately shake his head no and tell you “keep talking i love listening to you” 
Because he’s tired he pulls you into a hug and plays with your hair while you talk. 
His sign that he’s tired is when he gets really touchy. Like he is all of a sudden kissing your forehead and playing with your cheeks which is usually a sign for you to call it a day… 
JAKE
We all know this guy cannot for the life of him control his sleepiness but he loves you so he makes his adjustments
Its a shame but this guy is NOT !!! LISTENING !!! 
He’s cuddling you and you’re yapping away he’s going to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck and just keep going “mhm, i see” 
You notice that he isn’t listening so you ask a question to throw him off and he responds with “yeah totally” making you chuckle. 
He looks up flustered realizing he just admitted to not paying attention to you. 
“Sorryyyyy!!!!” He pouts leaning to kiss you.
“Im listening I just need a minute” he spends that “minute” sleeping on your arm and then he sits up shaking his head like a puppy trying to wake himself up. 
Claps, sits up, “Okay! talk! I’m up.” 
HEESEUNG
He’s always up fighting his sleep to play video games anyway so he’s the most prepared in situations like these 
If he notices your in a particularly chatty mood and he’s sleepy, he will drag both of you out of bed and make sure you’re sitting up so that he isn’t prone to falling asleep on accident 
You’re talking and talking and he is giving the same exact energy back!! he will laugh and giggle at everything 
When he’s really getting tired he yawns out loud and goes “baby.. im a bit sleepy.. actually no no keep going, just come here” 
He’ll open his arms wide for you to lay on his chest while you talk 
You notice his eyes are closed so you stop and start getting up only for him to pull you back down and say “just stay here, i like listening to your pretty voice” 
SUNGHOON
He is so in love with you. it is PATHETIC! 
He is so sleepy too and looks insanely cuddly so whenever you are talkative you lay facing him and talk his ear off while hugging him 
He is way too in love to tell you that you need to please shut up because he is SO TIRED so instead he kisses you to ease his tiredness away 
“That girl” —kiss “is so” —kiss “annoying” —kiss 
“Hoon stopp” to which he kisses you again, mumbling against your lips “I’m listening baby” 
SUNOO
No matter how tired he is it fades away when hes with you 
You’re always spilling the latest gossip to Sunoo and he eats it up everytime. 
“She actually has something against me” you say to which Sunoo responds “how could anyone hate this cute face” pinching your cheeks 
You brush his hand away and jokingly roll your eyes and thats all it takes for his cuteness aggression to launch through the roof 
He is all of a sudden squeezing you tight going “Why are you so cute you’re just so cute you’re so cute” 
He is literally holding you shaking your shoulders while smiling so big going “No tell me!!! why are you so cute??” 
“Sunoo you’re scaring me” you say to which he responds “Good! I’m pissed off you’re perfect.” 
You guys will literally spend the whole night talking, Sunoo literally forgot that he was tired in your presence 
JAY
He is half asleep walking through the door 
But! that doesn’t stop him from at least pretending to listen to you 
As he’s putting his stuff down you are following him around talking about the ending of the show that you just watched 
Hes humming in response and smiling to himself 
He stops suddenly turns to face you pulling you in for a hug “Baby I’m so tired today i dont know why….” sighing into your arms 
He didn’t want to explicitly say to you please shut up but it was definitely a sign to you to take it down a notch 
He’d look down to kiss you on the lips and say “Let’s talk in bed hm?” 
When you guys are in bed he lets you lay on his chest and he says “Now tell me all about that show you were talking about” 
He will listen to you, or at least try to, but with his fingers playing with your hair you are slowly lulled to sleep.
He'll look at you, smile, kiss your forehead and you will wake up confused as to how he shut you up so quickly.
NI-KI
Riki is definitely a little more honest but thats what you love about him!
“I can see all your teeth babe, what’s got you cheesing?” he says to you as he sits down on the bed 
“I have so much to tell you!” you say to him patting the space beside you for him to come and lay in. 
“And I have so much sleep to catch up on!” He says mockingly as he lays down next to you. You pout to which he kisses you and says “Go on, talk my ear off” 
You start going off on a tangent and he is just looking at you with a boxy smile on his face and laughing at how your facial expressions are so dramatic in comparison to the light hearted story you’re telling 
He stares at you with glistening eyes after his 40th yawn in a row 
“You know you talk too much, right? It’s a good thing you’re cute” he would say pulling you into a hug 
“That’s rude! and I wasn’t don—” you are interrupted by a kiss on the lips 
“I promise to listen all day tomorrow, okay? Let’s sleep now?” He says rubbing circles on your back, with his eyes already closed.
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flowering-thought · 13 days
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Part 2? Fuck I've been thinking about them too much again so here I am ;-;
Supossed to be writing something else but this AU has me held by my nonexistent balls-
Brainrot gods please spare me I am nothing but a simple creature who doesn't get enough sleep
Masterlist
WARNING - MINORS DNI
AFAB reader and reader is described as feminine and chubby/plus sized.
Yandere themes, obsessive behavior
COD Psych Ward Unit × Reader
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When you were first transferring shifts from night to day, you only had a weekend to adjust your schedule.
You had told the boys about it previously so they were very eager to actually get to see you in the light of day instead of the cold lights of the hospital at night.
What they weren't expecting was your disheveled form and the annoying laugh of the front desk person who witnessed your poor state early in the morning at breakfast.
Price was pretty sure the scrubs you were wearing were inside out and Ghost could tell from where he was sitting that you definitely had eyebags.
Soap noticed that the usually organized tote bag you brought to work was stuffed a bit more than usual and he could tell you were not very happy.
Gaz had assumed the change would be tough on you but not this tough. The sight of you was enough to make his heart clench and the need to hold you in his arms worsened.
They really hadn't expected you to be this tired. The moment you made it past the desk they saw your shoulders droop and your eyes close for a moment, likely getting your bearings before the annoying form of the one and only Philip Graves stepped in front of you, getting in the way of their view.
"Well, what do we have here? Some poor darlin' made their way to the wrong unit?" the Texan teased, a shit-eating grin tugged at his lips.
What he didn't expect was your eyes to open and softly glare at him, a wry smile appearing on your features as you raised your brow at him, "And I wasn't expecting a warm welcome from a cowboy wannabee? Go eat breakfast, cowboy. I gotta get ready for my shift." You fired at him and watched as he put his hands up and backed away, a genuine grin on his features.
You rolled your eyes and moved down the hall, using your badge to access the breakroom and put your stuff away. While you got ready in the breakroom, trying to make yourself look more presentable and put together before your shift officially started, a commotion was happening in the common area with Ghost tugging graved by the neck of his shirt.
"Keep your disgusting paws off Graves. The last thing they need is some bastard like you interrupting their day." He growled, his fist tight as Soap and Gaz stood just in case they needed to support their lieutenant.
Graves just gave them the biggest shit-eating grin, his hands still up as though surrendering, "I'm not sure what you mean boys? Just givin' my greetings to the miss?" he teased.
Ghost stared him down until he decided to let go, Graves shirt wrinkled and scrunched up from how tight his grip was. Unfortunately, having 141 show interest in you made multiple others notice and observe you. And to Graves? He was curious about you from the moment you stepped into the ward on your day shift with those sleepy eyes that made him think about holding you close under the sheets. What can he say? He's a sucker for pretty things like you.
The moment you stepped back into the hall, the first thing you did was check the schedule, seeing if anyone had any meetings with the doctors or group therapy which was usually every day in wards like these. Much to your surprise there was nothing. You even checked the chart and notes from doctors but it was practically just telling you to let them sit in the common area through the day and lock them up at night.
You hummed to yourself, looking from the schedule to the assortment of men scattered around the tables where shitty games were played and they all clearly looked bored.
You had never worked in a ward as lacking as this one. It's like they were just kept here under high security for the fuck of it. You huffed before checking the rules for nurses and the activities they were allowed to do with the patients. And as you expected you were allowed free reign.
You couldn't help but shake your head in disappointment. Well if you were going to get paid well then you're at least gonna make the patients happy even if you have to force them to participate in activities.
So there you were, standing at the windows where all the tables could see you with an Uno deck in your hands, "Hello! Nice to meet you all I'm coming from the night shift so you'll see me more often!" You greeted, multiple heads and chairs turning to face you.
You hated the shift in attention but kept a smile on your lips and tried to ignore the invasive stares. "I'm nurse (L/n). And the schedule here looks a little lackluster, so I thought maybe a friendly game of Uno?" You offered.
The boys all sat at one table and just couldn't help the little flutter in their chest at your sudden proclamation. Graves sat at a table with Konig and Horangi. Konig, with his constant leg shaking and Horangi, just played with a deck of cards in his hands. Nikolai, who was still eating, sat at a table on his own but put the plate down at the sudden mention of an "activity".
You felt very awkward with all the stares but kept up the smile on your face as you brought a couple extra chairs to an empty table, "If anyone wants to participate, just come sit over here.".
Soap was quick in his decision, immediately choosing a chair next to you and Gaz tried to be fast but sadly Graves beat him to it. Gaz tried to grab Graves by the back of his shirt like Ghost had but watched your brow lift at the sight of his agitation.
With a huff, Gaz sat next to Soap, clearly ticked off, and glared at Graves, who had the same grin as always. Horangi, who you had yet to officially talk to sat down at the table.
Nikolai joined after putting his plate away while the rest who didn't want to participate brought over chairs so they could watch.
You smiled happily as you opened the uno cards and started shuffling, you weren't the best but you tried anyway and then gave everyone their cards.
Horangi lifted his hand, his eyes shielded by his sunglasses so you couldn't tell if he was looking at you or the cards in his hands, "How exactly do you play this?" He asked, his fingers holding onto the cards and fiddling with them curiously.
You looked around as the rest also didn't seem to know how to play the very colorful game of Uno. You laughed as you explained, the sight of grown men not knowing how to play uno somehow very amusing.
After explaining the basics and the rules, Gaz was the first one to get a double plus four by Graves, with an argument breaking out between them about how it's unfair.
Graves ended up calling Gaz a sore loser which made you stop him, "Nope, no name calling Mr. Graves. Play nice or I'll make you quit the game now." You warned, watching as his brows lifted in surprise. Gaz gave him a triumphant smirk and settled back into playing despite the massive amount of cards now held in his hands.
It went on like that for a bit, with the first person to get Uno being Nikolai, who proudly and very loudly claimed victory. "I win so I'll be getting a reward yeah?" He asked, his eyes pointing straight to you.
You just smiled and nodded your head, "Mhm, I brought extra snacks for the dayshift so I'll share them with you.".
The next person to win Uno was surprisingly Soap who had been very secretive about the cards he had and tried his best not to get angry when the color changed to something he didn't need.
Unfortunately, Horangi had the most cards in his hands. The ever-growing pile in his hands looked so bad you wanted to offer to take some off his hands but part of you also wanted to win.
It went on like that till lunch, with you getting uno, then Graves, and lastly with Gaz. The only one who didn't was the last player Horangi who had what you figured had to be the record holder of cards at 36.
You had fairly given out the snacks you promised, with Nikolai getting extra for being the first Uno winner. But you did sneak Horangi some candy you kept in your pocket with a small smile and your index finger to your lips.
And the day went fast with you proposing activities and checking over charts and rules. Honestly part of you didn't understand why these men were here.
From what you had seen all had been a part of the military and all had the problems that came with it. Ptsd, Cptsd, paranoia, insomnia, things that weren't exactly too bad and could likely be treated outpatient with how well the men acted.
You've seen many kinds of people in psych wards, and these men were the kind that would maybe need a month at most, not long-term stays.
While you wondered about it at your little desk you saw the head nurse approaching, a grumpy-looking woman who always had her hair held back in a tight bun that you imagined definitely hurt her scalp.
She looked to be in a bad mood as normally she didn't approach any of the nurses during their shifts and especially not in front of patients.
"What are you doing?" Came the shrill voice you had yet to get used to.
You flinch, your eyes darting between your desk, the head nurse, and the men who all sat eating dinner as it was now later in the day.
You looked a little confused, your hands coming down to sit in your lap, your fingers fiddled with each other before you replied, "Checking charts ma'am? Also checking schedules so I can plan activities." You claimed, your tone coming off ever more confused as if to ask why she was questioning you.
Her eyes glared at you as her hand raised to her hip, "Goodness I know you've been here for maybe what? A month or two? But you don't have to try so hard. This is a very lax ward for nurses you don't have to entertain the patients or even talk to them. Just give them medication and send them on their way." She stated, as though it was the most natural thing.
You wanted to protest but before you could she slammed her hand down on your desk and got close to your face, "Just listen hm? They don't need any special attention. They don't need kind treatment and they definitely don't need to be rewarded. Yes, I can't punish you for doing so but I can make things more difficult if I have to." She warned.
Price hated it, the way your body curled in on itself, how your eyes widened at the woman in front of you. All of the boys practically had to fist their knees to stop themselves from getting up.
Graves was silent but inside he was fuming. It was your first day shift and you're getting scolded by the head nurse for being a good nurse? What kind of damn logic is that?
Konig was getting anxious just watching, his leg bouncing aggressively enough to shake the table he sat hunched over. Horangi would have tried to help him out, but his hand ghosted over the candy in his pocket to prevent himself from yelling at this crazy woman who called herself the head nurse. He always hated when foolish women yell at innocent people like you.
Nik had to look away at some point, his hand gripping the table so tight you'd imagine his veins would pop if he gripped it any tighter.
After the woman thought she had thoroughly warned you, she told you to get off your shift and head home. "What? I don't even have to sign out for thirty minutes!" You protested, standing up to face her better.
You were beginning to get upset at her actions. She had never been this tight on you during the night shift, so why was she like this now?
"Just be glad you're getting off early hm? Have a good night (L/n)." She said.
You looked at her before walking off, heading to the breakroom to grab your things from your locker. You silently fumed as you signed out at the front desk, the women who knew you at the front desk gave you a look of sympathy as you walked off and out of the building.
When you got in your car you had the urge to scream but you just turned your key in and blasted music, your grip on the steering wheel tight.
On your way home you stopped by multiple places, the store to get a month's worth of snacks and the crafts store to get stickers and other things. Among them, you saw a couple of fidget toys. Squishy things and others with all sorts of switches and flips.
You contemplated before grabbing a couple, remembering the chart.
While at the crafts store you also bought some games, simple things that would be safe to bring into the unit and enough to piss off the head nurse, "Don't need kind treatment my ass... fucking bitch.." You grumbled, opening up the door to your apartment and plopping down.
"If I'm gonna be the only nurse to do my job then I'm doing a damn good one." You confirmed out loud, talking to no one but yourself as you clutched the blankets closer before falling asleep.
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floralcyanide · 2 months
Text
― ᴅᴇᴀʀ ᴊᴀᴠɪ
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After realizing you've had enough of being single, you decide to branch out further into your romantic life on a whim. What you don't expect is to meet someone as a result. or ; In which you converse in letters and phone calls with Javi Rivera, an active-duty military man.
part two
↝ pairing: Javier "Javi" Rivera / Fem!Reader
↝ warnings: long distance, reader has anxiety, kinda slow burn?, kissing, mentions of death
↝ word count: 5.3k
↝ author's note: I enjoyed writing this so much. this is the first time I've written something this long in a while. I hope ya'll enjoy! there will definitely be a part two and it's gonna be spicy so be prepared. (;
masterlist ⋇ divider credit: @cafekitsune
this fic has been cross posted to ao3.
ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ
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Your dating life has reached a new low. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge- none of them work for you despite your incessant attempts. It’s so bad that your friends have set you up on blind dates, all of which fail or turn into what people like to call situationships. You end up wasting your time on someone thinking it’s going great, and then suddenly, it ends in a fiery crash or sometimes plain old rejection. You’re so tired of dating. Even your university campus has no luck in the dating pool. But then, one night (after drinking too much box wine and scrolling through dating apps begrudgingly), your best friend has an idea.
“Have you ever like, dated long distance?” they ask, swirling their wine around their glass.
“Not really,” you shrug, taking a sip from yours, “I feel like it’d be harder than dating someone close by, which is already a lot.”
“True,” they sigh, “Ooh! Maybe use one of those pen pal apps?” 
“Pen pal apps?” you raise an eyebrow, locking your phone before tossing it on the couch in disgust, “What am I, nine years old?”
Your best friend rolls their eyes, “It’s not something just kids do, you know. A lot of people make genuine connections through letters. It’s a lot better than Tinder or some shitty dating app at this point. You may as well try.”
“I guess you’re right,” you glance down at your phone, “I’m running out of options here.”
After Googling and scrolling through search results, you hum, “Maybe I could do one of the military pen pal programs. That seems promising.”
“Yes! Get you a military man!” your best friend squeals, and you can’t help the giddy smile that grows on your lips.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” you say, and your best friend shakes your shoulder excitedly, “But if it doesn’t work out, I’m just going to die alone, I guess. At this point, it’s less stressful.”
Your best friend snorts, “If we make it to thirty and we’re both still single, we could get married.”
“I love you, but if I had to spend the rest of my life with you, I’d probably go insane.”
“You have some killer jokes, kid. You’re already stuck with me, so sorry.”
That following day, you do a deep dive into all things pen-palling. You decide to sit down at your desk and type up a letter, but it feels too wrong like it needs to be handwritten instead. So, you move your laptop aside, pull out some notebook paper and a pencil, and start your first letter. Except, you aren’t sure what to say first. Then, when you start writing, your handwriting annoys you, and after that, you think your tone is off. You end up scrapping half a tree by the time you start actually writing a decent letter. You introduce yourself and state where you’re from, explaining you’re in college and what you wish to do after graduating. You don’t dive into too much detail but give enough away so your possible pen pal has something to respond to. You also sprinkle in some questions for them to answer as well. You reread your letter, finally satisfied with what you’ve written, before folding it and sliding it into an envelope. You go back to your phone to see where to send the letter, writing down the location along with your name and address on the front.
Life goes on for a little while, and you actually forget you sent a letter to some random person in the military until one day, your best friend is sifting through the mail you tossed onto your counter.
“Uhh, what’s this?” they call out from the kitchen as you surf through Netflix in the living room.
“What’s what?”
“You got a letter from some dude named Javier?” your best friend says it as more of a question than a statement.
You scrunch up your nose and eyebrows in confusion before finally settling on a show you and your best friend have seen a million times already, walking into the kitchen.
“Let me see.”
Your best friend hands over the letter, and you scan the envelope carefully. Javier Rivera. It doesn’t sound familiar to you, but then you notice where the letter is from.
“Oh shit,” you flip the envelope over and tear it open.
“What is it?”
“It’s the pen pal thing!” you say, voice raised in shock, “I didn’t think someone would actually respond.”
“Oh yeah,” your best friend nods, “I forgot about that. I figured you chickened out on it because you never mentioned it again.”
“I didn’t chicken out,” you trail off, taking in the meticulous handwriting of the letter.
Dearest Pen Pal,
Thank you for sending your letter. I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much it meant to me to receive it. I’m Javier, but everyone calls me Javi. I’m the same age as you and have been to college myself. I joined the military for personal reasons, but I haven’t regretted it yet. Your career path seems interesting, and I hope you succeed in the rest of your studies. 
Your best friend hovers over your shoulder, also reading the letter.
“He seems cute,” your best friend giggles.
Javi answers some of your random questions and goes on to say he anticipates your next letter. He also says that if you’d like, he’d send a photo of himself next time. Your best friend has a field day with that.
“Oh my gosh! What if he’s hot?” they gasp.
“Who knows? I wouldn’t care if he wasn’t, anyway. It’s cool to talk to someone I’ve never met over letters.”
“True. But bonus points if he is hot.”
You scoff as you fold the letter up and put it back in the envelope.
When your best friend leaves later on, you immediately bolt to your desk and write your letter. 
Dear Javi,
I’m glad my letter found you well. Thanks for the hope in me, I definitely need it. College is fun, but it’s super exhausting. I don’t think I asked in my last letter, but where are you from? Also, what did you major in while in school? I’d love to see what you look like and put a face to your name. What military branch are you in, and what do you want to do with your experience when you’re back in the States? Sorry for all the questions again! I’m just super curious about things. If this letter reaches you sooner than later this time around, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving.
You wrap up your letter, albeit a little shorter than the last one, and slip it into your mailbox ASAP. This time, you won’t forget you sent it.
When the following letter arrives, it’s early December. You hastily remove your scarf, coat, and wet snow boots at your front door before opening the letter immediately. When you pull the letter from the envelope, a photo falls onto the floor. You pick it up, and it’s a small picture of who you assume is Javi, all decked out in his military uniform. Okay, your best friend was right on the money, he is pretty cute.
Dearest Pen Pal,
I had a decent Thanksgiving. I hope yours was better than mine! I’m from Miami, Florida. I went to school in Muskogee, Oklahoma, and while I was there, I studied weather phenomena and chased storms. It was a whole thing, but I’ll get into that later. And I don’t mind all the questions. I think it’ll be fun getting to know each other. 
Javi explains what branch he’s in and also admits he doesn’t know what he’s going to do after the military as of yet. He talks about his Thanksgiving and wishes you a Merry Christmas if he doesn’t get to communicate with you before then. You decide to send a photo of yourself back to him, digging out your Polaroid camera when you go to your bedroom to respond to his letter. You touch up your makeup a little and make sure your hair isn’t absolutely a mess before taking a photo. Sitting down to write your letter, you aren’t sure how to react to the photo Javi sent. You don’t want to be weird, but you also want him to know that you think he’s attractive. 
Dear Javi,
I love the photo you sent, and you look pretty dapper in your uniform. I’m sending a picture of myself, too. Chasing storms sounds very interesting. Please tell me more about that! 
You rattle off some things you have done while in school, talking about the places you have traveled to over the years and the people you’ve met. You gush about your best friend, especially. 
So far, you’re probably the most intriguing person I’ve talked to, Javi. Not everyone can say they’re a storm chaser, you add. 
You polish off your letter, which ends up being two pages long (three if you count the back on the first page, too.) You neatly fold up the paper and slide it into an envelope. You don’t expect a reply until New Year because of the amount of mail that will be coming in and out of the base. Javi is stationed on the other side of the country from you and may be moved out of the country if needed. 
As you expected, it isn’t until a month and a half later that you receive a letter from Javi again. It’s a long letter- a few pages total this time. The letter is in a Christmas card, and it’s signed by Javi. You immediately hang the card on your refrigerator door so you can look at it daily. He talks about how his holidays went, how all the guys on his base called home or were able to FaceTime their family. Javi asks how your holidays have gone and showers you with compliments over the photo you sent him. You can’t help but feel your stomach flutter at his words. 
Over the next few months, you and Javi write back and forth diligently. You know just about everything about Javi, and he knows almost everything about you. You feel like there’s something he’s keeping from you, possibly the storm chasing he had brought up, but you don’t push it. He will tell you when he’s ready. And there’s also some stuff about your life you’d rather wait to explain as well. In your last letter, you wrote your email and phone number so that Javi can communicate with you in other ways. You’re able to guess how long it takes the letters to get to Javi, so around the time you expect them to get to him, you’re giddy. You anxiously await a phone call or email any day now.
It’s August when your phone rings with a call from an unknown number. You have had such a long day- school for several hours, then work immediately after in the evening. You can’t help but wonder who could be calling at 9 pm. You make yourself comfy on the couch with your favorite beverage before answering the phone.
“Hello?” 
“Hi, it’s Javi. Is this the right number?”
You nearly choke on your sip of drink, “Oh shit. Hi! Yes, this is the right number!”
Javi laughs from the other end, and you decide you want to hear that laugh again so badly. 
“Sorry I’m calling so late over there. The phone was surprisingly available, and I got your letter today saying I could call. So I did,” Javi said.
“It’s okay,” you shrug, even though he can’t see, “I just got home from work, actually. So perfect timing.”
“Great. How was your day?”
The two of you spend about an hour on the phone, relishing having an actual conversation in real time.
“I’m so glad to finally hear your voice,” Javi says after a natural pause in conversation, “That’s not too cheesy, right?”
You snort, “It kind of is, but it’s cute. I’m glad to hear your voice, too.”
After another ten minutes, Javi sadly admits that he has to hang up since it’s almost dinner time where he is. 
“We should talk again sometime if you’re able to,” you smile, biting at your fingernail nervously.
You hope he calls again, but letters will always suffice just fine.
“I’ll try my best. Maybe sometime next week?”
“Sounds like a plan,” you say, pulling the phone away from your ear so you can silently kick your feet in excitement.
“Alright, then. Talk to you later,” Javi says.
“See ya,” you grin, and the call concludes.
It isn’t the following week that he calls, but the week after that. Javi discloses that he sent a surprise in the letter he just mailed. He also slips up and says it’s almost his birthday, and you immediately have an idea. After your long conversation on the phone, asking some questions here and there about certain things he likes that you didn’t already know before, you decide to send Javi a package.
You send a postcard from your home state, some non-perishable snacks, socks that were his favorite color that he could wear when not on base, notebooks he could write letters in, some fun pens to go with the notebooks, and a birthday card. After signing it, you leave a lip print on the card just to test the waters. You’ve come to really like Javi over the last year, and you wonder if he likes you back. Sometimes, he’ll be flirty in letters or over the phone, but nothing too crazy. Nothing that gives you alarm bells that he likes you in the way that you like him. So, you’re taking a leap of faith. 
A few weeks after sending the package, you get Javi's phone call while doing some class work at your desk. You spin around in the chair aimlessly as you answer the phone.
“A kiss, huh? That’s cute.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just a little something to remind you of me,” you say.
“It’s definitely not nothing,” Javi teases, “I think you want to kiss me.”
 Your ears grow hot at the sound of Javi’s voice deepening in playfulness.
“And so what if I do? There’s nothing you can do about it,” you bite back with just as much playfulness.
“Are you sure about that?” Javi says, a knowing lilt in his voice.
“What do you mean?” you furrow your eyebrows, stopping the chair from spinning entirely so you can focus.
“I’m most likely coming home for Christmas this year, but I still have to work out some stuff,” Javi says, an edge of excitement in his voice, “I’d like to possibly see you.”
“Oh,” you say, your voice squeaking, “Really? You want to see me?”
“Of course I wanna see you,” Javi chuckles, “We’ve been corresponding for a while. I’d like to finally see you in person.”
You suddenly feel like you’re going to throw up, but in a good way. You’re sick with nervous excitement. 
“O-okay,” you grin, “I’ll be finished with the semester at the beginning of December. Depending on when and where you want to meet, I can ask off from work.”
Javi has family not too far from where you live, and he wants to stop and see, so the two of you agree to meet in a city that’s basically halfway. December 20th is the day you’re supposed to meet Javi after a year of conversing through letters and over the phone. Who would have thought, right? That some random idea from your best friend would have led you here? Speaking of which, your best friend is beside themselves with excitement just like you. You called them immediately after hanging up with Javi.
“When you get married, make sure to thank me!” they say half-jokingly.
“Shut up,” you roll your eyes, trying to stifle a grin, “What if we don’t like each other when we meet, though? What if it’s awkward? What if we don’t have anything to talk about? What if-”
“Hush!” your best friend shushes you, “It will go fine. It will go great. In fact, you’re going to have a splendid time.”
“I guess you’re right,” you sigh, eyeballing the photo of Javi you have pinned to your corkboard over your desk.
“I’m always right,” your best friend giggles.
It’s now the end of your semester, and you’re beyond excited for a few reasons. In a week, you meet Javi, and this coming Spring semester is your last. So, for the time being, you’ll be finished with college. You come home from your final exam and start making a packing list. You’re staying at a hotel in the city where you’re meeting Javi for a day or two, depending on how things go. You have so much to do before going on the mini trip that if you didn’t have a list planned out for everything, your head would surely fly off your shoulders. You have to wrap gifts for your friends and family, pack your bag, clean your apartment, and put up decorations for the party you and your best friend are throwing for Christmas. 
Deciding to surprise Javi, you get him a gift for Christmas. It’s a wool sweater you think will fit nicely and a beautiful, deep color that you figure will compliment his skin tone. You carefully put the sweater in a robe box, taping the sides shut and signing your name on the tag before putting it under the Christmas tree. You managed to put up the large tree by your lonesome and didn’t kill yourself doing it, so you considered it a win. After wrapping a few more gifts and stuffing them under your tree, you check the time. It’s a little past dinnertime, and you decide it’s probably best to finally pack your bag for tomorrow. 
A melatonin gummy is definitely in your future so you can get some sleep, or else you’ll toss and turn in an anxious fit all night. After finishing up packing as lightly as you can muster, you settle into bed. When you wake in the morning, you get a text from an unknown number, which you assume is from Javi’s cell, letting you know he is getting on his flight. You almost quite literally jump out of bed before hitting the shower and getting ready. You take your time fixing your hair and makeup, picking out a cute but comfortable outfit for your 2-hour drive. 
After getting your belongings and the gift inside your car, you shoot your best friend a text letting them know you’re leaving your apartment and that you’ll text when you get to the airport. Taking a few deep breaths, you crank your car and head off. You are deep in your thoughts the entire ride, not evening singing along to your music most of the time. What if Javi decides he isn’t impressed by what he sees? You try to push away your anxiety as you near the airport. Finding parking after circling around for a while, you hurry to grab the gift and go inside. It’s hectic, considering it’s five days until Christmas, but you get through TSA without a hitch. You find the coffee shop where you and Javi agreed to meet and sit at a table in the corner. You scroll through social media, trying not to panic. You text back and forth with your best friend for a while until you receive a message from Javi saying he’s landed. Suddenly, an icy, numbing nervousness runs through your veins. You take a deep breath and tell yourself it will be okay, and everything will be fine. 
You decide to meet Javi at his gate and return to the coffee shop. Getting up from your seat, you shake yourself off a little before walking to the gate where Javi is to exit his flight. You aimlessly check your phone every five minutes out of anxiety. People start to leave from the corridor, dragging their carry-ons with them. Suddenly, you spot Javi walking out with the crowd, his face turned downward at his phone. When he looks up, he has to do a double-take when he sees you. You can’t help the grin that plasters your face.
“Hi,” Javi grins back as he approaches you, taking in your appearance fully for the first time, “Is it okay if I hug you?”
“You don't have to ask, silly,” you roll your eyes playfully, setting the gift by your feet before allowing Javi to pull you into him.
You wrap your arms around him, your nose buried in his shoulder. He’s dressed in his uniform, much to your delight, meaning you get to see how handsome he looks in person. 
“Don’t tell me that’s for me,” Javi gives you a jokingly dissatisfied look when he pulls away from you, his eyes darting to the gift beside you. 
“Would you kill me if it was?” you say, picking it up and handing it to him.
“Nah,” Javi waves you off, leaning down to dig in his carry-on for something, “Besides, I got you something, too.”
“Javi,” you drag out his name in annoyance, “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Of course I did. It’s Christmas,” Javi smiles, secretly enjoying how you say his name in person.
You both go to baggage claim and the coffee shop before opening your gifts. You and Javi match each others’ stride, your hands accidentally brushing against one another a few times. Finally, Javi decides to throw caution to the wind and grabs your hand, sliding his fingers between yours. You glance down before smiling at him, trying to hide how giddy you are from the simple gesture. When you arrive at the coffee shop, you sit in the same corner you were previously in and settle in your seats.
“So,” Javi slides his gift over to you, pulling his toward him, “What’d you get me?”
“Why don’t you open it and see?” you lean over the table in wait, your smile from earlier still not quite leaving your lips.
“That I will do,” Javi says, carefully opening his gift.
“This is a lovely color,” he pulls the sweater out and fully takes it in, “Very soft. You did a great job because I love sweaters.”
“I’m glad you love it,” you sink into your seat with relief.
“Now, open yours,” Javi pushes your gift in your direction with a single finger. 
“Is it going to explode in my face?” you joke as you pull the wrapping off.
“I swear it won’t,” Javi laughs.
You open the box to reveal a beautiful necklace with your birthstone dangling from the chain. 
“This looks expensive, Javi. Please tell me you didn’t spend an arm and a leg on this,” you gasp.
“No promises,” Javi shrugs, getting up from his seat and walking behind you, holding out a hand for the necklace, “May I?”
You gently place the jewelry into his palm, lifting your hair so Javi can put the necklace around your neck. His fingers brush your skin lightly as he clasps the chain successfully, “There we go.”
Javi sits and admires how the necklace falls onto your collarbone with a glimmer in his eyes, “Looks beautiful on you.”
You’re nearly this close to being on the floor, curled into an inconsolable ball. Instead of doing that, you cover your face in embarrassment. 
“Gosh, thank you for the gift, Javi,” you move your hands from your face, “I wasn’t expecting something so stunning. I would’ve gotten you something slightly better if I had known.”
“You can’t sit here and tell me this wool sweater wasn’t pricey enough. It’s okay, you know. Besides, I like giving gifts I know someone will love; the price doesn’t matter.”
You sigh, shaking your head with a smile and resting your chin on your fist, “Whatever you say, Javi.”
Javi mimics your position but reaches his other hand out to wrap it around your wrist gently, “I love it when you say my name.”
You stare at each other momentarily, just taking each other in. It had been a year of wondering what Javi was like in person- how tall he was, how he smelled, how he carried himself. You realize he has a million freckles on his face that you never noticed in the photos he sent. Javi brushes his thumb over your pulse point, and you’re close to losing your composure. You’re both so wrapped up in drinking each other in that you nearly jump out of your skin when the barista calls someone’s name for their order.
You compose yourself, but Javi lightly chuckles at your facial expression.
“I’m super awkward sometimes, but you know that already,” you try to joke about the situation instead of dying of shyness. 
“It’s okay, I think it’s cute.”
“You’re going to make me turn into a puddle if you don’t stop,” you cover your face again, the tips of your ears burning.
Javi just laughs again. You realize his laugh is better in person than over the phone.
Over your order of coffee and iced tea, you and Javi decide to have a proper dinner later on in the day. Both of you are pretty tired and would appreciate refreshing yourselves at your respective hotels first. You hold hands again while exiting the airport and offer Javi a ride to where he’s staying.
“It’s just a walk down the block. I’ll be fine.”
“But it’s cold,” you frown.
“I’ll live, I promise.” Javi pulls your head to his chest before planting a kiss on the top of it.
Your body grows warm at the endearing gesture, “See you later?’
“See you later,” Javi smiles before making his way out of the parking garage.
You immediately call your best friend when you get in the car and discuss how the initial meeting went while on your way to the hotel.
“Did you kiss?!” they squeal.
“Not yet,” you say, “I don’t expect anything to happen today. We held hands, though.”
“Spicy!” your best friend says, “Next thing you know, you’ll be having kids.”
“Will you ever be quiet?” you jokingly ask your best friend.
You take a well-needed nap after checking into the hotel, setting an alarm for an hour from the time you laid down. When you wake up, you notice it’s snowing outside. The place Javi wants to take you is a few blocks away from his and your hotels, and you figure you’ll enjoy the snow during your walk.
You fix your makeup a little and add some final touches here and there to your face and hair before deciding on one of the skirts you brought. A thick sweater and some tights are thrown with it, and you’re ready to go. Javi shoots you a message asking if you’re ready, and you respond quickly before leaving the hotel. The evening is pleasant, with the snow falling softly for the entire duration of your walk. When you arrive at the restaurant, Javi is waiting for you at the door, as handsome as ever in some black slacks, a dress shirt, and a heavy petticoat draped over his shoulders. He wraps an arm around you as you both enter the restaurant, where you’re immediately whisked away to a table with a nice view. Wine is ordered, and you take a moment to drink Javi in as he sits across from you. You nearly have to pinch yourself to believe this is real and actually happening.
“So,” you lean forward, hand tucked under your chin, “You never told me about your endeavors while in college. I’ve been dying to know about that storm chasing you brought up but never knew when to ask.”
Javi smiles, “Yes, it was a very wild time in my life. I don’t talk about it often. What did you want to know?”
“Why did you do it? Just curious.”
“Well, Javi clears his throat, “It was actually my best friend Kate’s idea. She had this big project that required extensive information about storms and tornadoes in particular.”
“Gotcha,” you lean back in your chair, “Ever see any scary storms?”
“We saw a few, but the scariest one was a five on the Fujita scale. It didn’t end very well for us,” Javi casts his eyes down.
“You don’t have to keep talking about it if you don’t want to,” you reach out your hand to put on top of Javi’s, sensing the topic is touchy.
“No, it’s something you need to know about me. So I’ll tell you,” he explains, “It was me, Kate, and three of our other friends, Addy, Praveen, and Jeb, working on the project together. We didn’t anticipate the tornado to be as strong as it got, and everyone but Kate and I ended up dying as a result of being caught in the storm.”
“I’m so sorry, Javi. That sounds scary and awful. I’m glad you made it through that,” you frown, and Javi meets your eyes for a moment.
“Sometimes I wonder why I’m one of the ones who survived. It bothered me a lot, so much that I decided to drop out of college and go into the military. I needed some stability in my life after that.”
“I understand,” you say, “We can talk about something else if you’d like. I know this is probably hard for you to think about.”
The rest of the evening is spent laughing over stories of Javi and his late friends and the ones he’s made in the military. You tell him wild stories of you and your best friend, some of which he couldn’t believe. After a few too many glasses of wine, the two of you decide to call it a night. 
“I had a wonderful time,” you say as Javi hooks your arm with his, and the two of you leave the restaurant.
It’s still snowing lightly, and the temperature has dropped significantly. You pull your coat closer to your chest. Javi notices and opts to wrap his arm around you, pulling you into his side to warm you. 
“I had a great time, too,” Javi grins. 
He walks you to your hotel, and you thank him for dinner. 
“Heading out in the morning?” you ask as the two of you stand outside the hotel entrance.
“Yes,” Javi says, his hands shoved into his coat pockets, “I’m seeing my aunt and uncle and then heading to Miami for my parents and sister.”
“That’s good,” you nod, “I am having a Christmas party with some friends and family in a  few days, and I’m looking forward to it.”
“Sounds fun,” Javi says, and you notice the two of you don’t really want to depart quite yet, but you must.
“You should probably get back. It’s getting cold and late,” you nudge Javi’s arm with yours.
“Yeah, I should,” he trails off, his eyes not leaving yours.
For a moment, you stare into Javi’s eyes, taking in their color and the length of his eyelashes. Before you realize it, you’re both leaning in. Javi slides his hand up your neck to cup your face, his skin warm despite the freezing air. He guides your face to his, his eyes fluttering shut as he gently presses his lips to yours. Your eyes close, too, and you allow Javi to take control of the kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. When it’s time for air, you both pull away.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Javi whispers, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.
“Same here,” you say, playing with the curls at the nape of Javi’s neck.
“I should get going,” Javi frowns, “But I will definitely keep in touch the best I can over the next few days.”
“Okay,” you say, “Enjoy your Christmas.”
Javi begins to walk away, and you turn to go inside your hotel. But then Javi pauses, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Wait, what are you doing New Year's Eve?” he asks, and you can’t help the grin that sneaks up on your face.
“Depends. What are you doing?”
“Anything with you.”
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drunkenlionwrites · 1 year
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Spawn!Astarion x reader after the events of BG3
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Warnings: g/n reader, has mild nsfw part, ptsd mentions, past sexual abuse mentions, also spoilers of the ending, obviously.
Astarion is still afraid of depending too much on you - now being unable to step in the sun once again. Sometimes counting days, then weeks, then years holding on to the thought of you getting tired of him and his complications in the back of his head.
Has flashbacks, and occasional visions of Cazador or Godey torturing him when he meditates from time to time, covering his anxiety with the usual bravado in front of you, not wanting to bother you all the time.
Still, he is as open with you as he can get, opening the darkest parts of his life as a spawn to you carefully and slowly.
Now that he’s his own person, there’s only three things he’s pursuing: finding a cure for vampirism, you, and having as much fun as possible, of course!
He likes to spend some nights with you, visiting taverns and showing you with a devilish smile what a good vine is at last. Giddily waiting for your reaction as he watches you bringing the goblet to your lips.
He relishes catching glimpses of him and you while being among people, proudly parading his lover around. Astarion is genuinely admiring you and your beauty, being happy of being seen in your company.
Some days he’s very clingy and handsy, begging for your affections, while other days he might still avoid any physical contact with you. All he needs is more patience, and of course, you have a never-ending well of it when it comes to him.
Totally appreciates when you go hunting with him, whether it’s a wild boar (lol) or an occasional criminal, loving to be able to be seen as a person, not as a monster by you and not afraid of making you feel repulsed by him, though sometimes he still wonders why.
I also can see him occasionally indulging in feeling like a knight in shining armor and a savior of wronged and weak, definitely immensely enjoying cutting throats of people exploiting others in any way.  
NSFW
Now that he’s his own man and he can explore his sexuality freely I believe he’s more into being tender and loving things when it comes to sex, contrary to the popular opinion.
Not that he can’t get freakier on some days. And if you want him to bite you in the process? Who’s he to refuse his darling?
Enjoys hearing your little yelps of pain followed by moans of pleasure when he sinks his teeth in your thighs, wrists, or neck. Wherever is your preference.
He definitely leans more into being a top, not because he’s in the role of seducer, but just preferring to maintain control of the situation.
He also oh so loves the fact that he’s the one that makes your body weak for him, enjoying pulling out all sorts of pretty sounds out of you, enjoying the way you pliantly take everything he gives you. Making you a pouting begging mess, tearfully asking him to give you more, to allow you to come at last not being able to bear his teasing anymore.
Not that Astarion denies you showering him in your tender caress and spending the whole day/night being the one taken care of this time now that he doesn’t have to always be the one to pleasure someone. It’s a novel concept for him and he still feels too bare and vulnerable sometimes, but he learns how to say no if he’s not up to something. It’s so much easier now that you’ve proven to him time and time again that you’ll always listen to him and agree with whatever he wants.
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I've been in love with this man for two years since I've started playing EA, but wanted to postpone writing anything until I see all of his layers. And it's been the best decision ever. I'm such a sucker (😏) for this elf and I still am astonished how nuanced and beautifully portrayed his character is. This is just my first touches of writing him, so it's pretty short and not really explicit.
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daxerian · 1 year
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Mama y Papa
Carlos Sainz x Reader x Lando Norris
Warnings: my grammar😻, sickness and fluff
Words: around 4k I think
A/n: I am so sorry I was gone for a month but girlie was sick and wanted to spend time with her friends and family🤞🏼
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Y/N was talking to Carmen about life you know? Work, their relationships, family, etc.
It was a pretty deep conversation until they heard "Y/nnnnn?"
Of course, it was Lando asking his 'grid mum' for something to help him with, which was no problem from her side but when she saw Lando holding a bottle of water and looking a bit annoyed, she couldn't help but chuckle.
"Oh, Lando what's wrong?" Carmen asked smiling knowing that the 2 had a mother/son bond that will never be broken.
"I can't open the bottle and I couldn't find Carlos" Lando answered Carmen. "Hand me the bottle darling" Y/N said while waiting for Lando to give her the bottle. She opened it like nothing and handed it back to him, "There you go" Lando just looked at the bottle for a few seconds and then took it, "Thank you Y/N" "No problem Lando"
----
It was around 1 am when Y/N found herself looking at the wall cursing herself out for drinking coffee at 7 pm. At least Carlos is having the time of his life sleeping and clinging to her body.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when somebody decided to call her. She only wondered, who the hell would want to call at this hour? Surprisingly it was Lando, she went into an instant worry in seconds and picked up almost immediately.
"Lando, are you okay?" The worry in her voice was incredible because people wouldn't worry like that when their friends called at night, well that was not the case for Y/N and Carlos Sainz.
"Can you pick me up? I'm near the coffee shop you like and it's freezing and I don't have a jacket or a sweatshirt" Lando answered her, "I'll be there" She hung up the phone a started to wake Carlos up. "Carlos, wake up! Carlos!" once he did wake up he asked his wife "What's wrong mi amor?"
"It's Lando" and that sentence was all it took for Carlos to fully wake up. "Well, why are you still laying in bed? Let's go" Carlos hurried his wife out of bed because if something would happen to Lando he wouldn't survive it. He promised himself that he would take care of him the second he met him.
---
It was the day after the British GP and Lando wasn’t feeling well, was it because he went out clubbing to celebrate? Probably yes.
He tried calling Carlos and Y/N but they weren't picking up, that was the moment Lando accepted his fate. He had to go through the pain alone. Until a miracle happened. Carlos called back.
"Lando, are you okay?" Carlos asked curious, "No, I feel horrible and I've been throwing up" Lando admitted, "You've been what?" it was Y/N's time to ask Lando questions, "Have you taken any sort of medication? You know what, we'll go to the pharmacy and grocery shop so I can make you soup okay?"
Y/N told Lando the plan she created in seconds because there was no way she would let Lando deal with it by himself. Carlos hung up the phone and followed his wife asking her more questions like 'What do we need?' type of questions.
20 minutes later the couple was in Lando's apartment. Y/N made some soup while Carlos had Lando laying in his lap talking to him on the couch. "Lando you will take this after you eat okay?" Y/N showed him the medicine, "Mhm" he answered with this tired tone to his voice which Carlos or Y/N didn't like.
Lando fell asleep on Carlos' lap, and the couple was now having this genuine conversation. "He's like a few years younger than us but acts like a teenager" Y/N couldn't help but chuckle at the last part, "Oy mi amor, he's our son at this point no?" and Carlos was right "Our firstborn!" Y/N added.
---
Carlos, Y/N decided to take Lando with them for their vacation. They decided to visit New Zealand first, and after that, Carlos and Y/N will be going on a big family vacation to Ibiza.
They went to a restaurant because they got hungry and when they arrived Y/N was ready for this;
"Y/N can you please order for me?" Lando asked politely, "Tell me what you want to eat then". "This pasta and this mixed drink please" Lando pointed at the menu while telling Y/N his order, Carlos just sat back and quietly enjoyed the moment because even though Lando is old enough to be enjoying life on his own, he would rather spend it with the people he idolizes. Carlos and Y/N Sainz.
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fookingmuffins · 8 months
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it's time to go
James potter x reader
Summary: Angst. You love James, but it's time to go.
Warning: cheating, screaming and James being a dick.
A/n: lmao I really ran after posting like 4 fics, but I'm doing a little better and even though I'm stressed with uni I've been dying to write something, so I hope y'all enjoy. (This actually took me so long to finish and i dont lobe the ending but i needs to move on, oops)
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You sighed as you prepared to open the door to the house you shared with James. Once upon a time, you would've rushed in without a second thought. But lately the war had taken a toll on the two of you. Once happy moments were now filled with fear and dread, making you feel like you were drowning. And no matter how hard you tried to hold on to the love of your life, you could feel him shutting you out. James had always been an open book anyone who ever met him knew that, but lately he had built this wall meant to keep you away, only you. At first, you tried to understand and be patient considering everything you two were going through, but after countless fights of you begging for him to talk to you, you were tired. You squeezed your eyes shut once before pushing the door open and plastering a fake smile in your face, maybe today would be different.
"Jamie, I'm home, I brought your favorite from the bakery by my work!" you shouted into the house buy were greeted with only silence. After checking the house you realized you were alone which immediately sent you into a spiral of worry since James was supposed to be here an hour ago but deciding that maybe he had gotten caught up with something you tried to ignore your panic and start getting ready for your friend's Alice’s engagement party.
You heard the door open and close while you were finishing up with your hair, causing you to get up and genuinely smile when you saw James make his way to the bedroom that the two of you shared.
"I was wondering where you were, I got you some pastries they are in the counter." you tried, but he just gave you a tight-lipped smile with a wave before passing by you to your shared bedroom. You went after him and saw he was getting ready to jump in the shower. Figuring it was going to be another quiet afternoon, you sat at your vanity staring at yourself in the mirror holding back the tears threatening to spill and ruin your makeup and just prayed that at the wedding maybe you two could have fun like you used to. You didn't even realize how long you sat there until you heard James get out of the bathroom and start getting ready, and you decided to just get dressed too and sit by the window with a book while you waited for James to be ready.
"Are you okay?" You were broken out of your train of thought by James’s question.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be. " You answered, giving him a similar smile to the one he gave you when he arrived.
"I don't know, you just keep staring into space, and it's kinda creepy." he tried to joke, but what once would've made you smile and roll your eyes instead caused a knot to form at your throat again, and you felt tears prickling your eyes once again.
"Well what am I supposed to do is not like I can talk to you anymore James you always shut me out, and I don’t know what to do anymore to get you to bring down the walls that keep shutting me out! I don't even know what I did for you to shut me out!" You couldn't help but let out everything for the millionth time, hoping that maybe today would be the last time you two were having this conversation and that he would finally open up and let you two go back to normal.
However, you soon realized that it was only wishful thinking because James immediately lowered his head and mumbled "For fuck's sake y/n not this again"
"Yes, this again, James! Please talk to me! Stop shutting me out, please!" you were a sobbing mess by this point, begging him to let you in, not caring if you ruined your makeup.
But James just shook his head and walked out, "I'll wait for you in the car while you get cleaned up, we can't do this right now, or we’ll be late." just like that, he left you alone frozen with mascara running down your cheeks. You felt numb and just quickly tried to clean up but when you were done and staring at your reflection stare back at you with puffy red eyes you just felt pathetic.
On the way neither one of you talked James kept his eyes on the road while you looked out the window too lost in your thoughts to realize your usual music that would usually be playing while the two of you drove was not playing, James realized, and he felt like he was suffocating in the empty car ride.
The wedding was beautiful and despite your problems you couldn't help but imagine that one day it would maybe be you and James standing in an altar professing your love in front of all your friends and family. You turned to look at him as Alice and Ben were sharing their vows, only to catch him staring at Lily, and she was staring right back at him. You felt something break in you as confusion overtook you. Why is he looking at her?
Was she the reason that you were slowly getting kicked to the curb? Back in Hogwarts everyone knew that James was obsessed with Lily but when she finally gave him a chance things just didn't work out. Then you caught James's attention, and the rest is history.
You tried to focus on the happy couple in the altar as the ceremony came to an end, but you felt someone was stabbing you and twisting the knife.
By some miracle during the reception James asked you to dance which shocked you, but his eyes seemed so sincere and like they were almost begging that you couldn't help but to foolishly be filled with hope once again. As you took his hand, he genuinely smiled at you again the way he used to with that same boyish grin that made you fall for him 5 years ago.
The two of you danced in the center of the dance floor spinning and laughing around, you had not been this happy in so long. After a particularly long fit of giggles, James pulled you closer and looked into your eyes with a spark that the two of you hadn't shared in months. When you two were about to lock lips, someone cleared their throat besides you two and the two of you pulled slightly away.
"James could I have a word with you please?" Lily asked looking at James who immediately pulled away from you and went with her after telling you he'd be right back. Just like that you were brought back to reality the cloud 9 that you had been in for a little bit long gone, and again the sinking feeling invaded you, feeling like you were drowning. You needed a drink.
You went to the bar and after getting your drink you decided it wasn't enough, and you needed air. You walked out of the salon where everybody was and made your way to the garden, and that's when you heard it.
"James! You said you two were over, but it sure as hell doesn't look like it! I can't beli-"
"I know, I know, but I can explain Lily please! I-I-I came here with her because she was embarrassed to come alone, so I promised this would be our last outing together." You felt your heart stop, air getting caught in your throat.
"What? That doesn't-" Lily started as you felt the glass in your hands slip and shatter on the ground.
Both of them froze and looked at where you were standing, you could feel a knot forming in your throat but glared at the pair in front of you with tears forming in your eyes.
"Y/n I can explain!"
" I think both of us want an explanation, James, but she deserves it more. Y/n/n I'm so sorry I had no idea you two were still together." Lily went to walk away and James was about to chase after her when she heard you scoff and as you turned around.
"Say goodbye to Alice and Ben for me, would you? I have to go." you rushed out before basically sprinting to the nearest exit, hearing James chase after you, which wasn't hard considering he was taller than you and an athlete. He grabbed your arm when you two had made it to the parking lot and turned you around.
"So that's why I'm getting the cold shoulder." you blurted out before whatever he was able to utter whatever shit excuse he was going to tell you. You almost wanted to laugh, which made you feel like you were insane, but you thought about all the hours you had spent over the past couple of months looking in the mirror trying to see what was wrong with you, overanalyzing every tiny detail in your face. Laying in bed staring at the ceiling, replaying everything you had done that day that might have set James off.
"No no baby, I swear it's not what it looks like, Lily is just bitter we didn't work out, and she's trying to sabotage us! I've just been so stressed because of it, and I am so sorry I let it out on you."
"Bullshit James! You were literally just talking shit about me before i showed up and ruined your little act." You were seething by this point, and James flinched after your outburst. You had never been one to scream, and he knew that, but right now you honestly felt like nothing was the same and you weren't the same. "A-and you wanted to chase after her and you know what? maybe you should. Maybe you have a better shot at getting her back because we are over James Potter! I-I am so tired... I-" You were crying from all the different emotions you were feeling at that moment. Finally getting some enlightenment about why your relationship was dying gave you some relief of the crushing pain you were feeling being hunted by the "what if's" and "why's" you weren't the problem.
James tried to get close and wrap his arms around you. god he felt like an idiot for hurting you. He honestly doesn't know what he was thinking. He had hoped you never found out and had planned to break up with Lily soon enough, but he just needed to explore a little what it could've been like if he had stayed with her. Plus the thrill of it was something that James had loved for the time being, but he never wanted to hurt you. His heart broke at the sight of you, he couldn't imagine what you were feeling.
"Don't even think about it! Don't ever touch me again don't ever look at me, I hate you so much Potter, I don't want to know anything about you from this day on James! We now mean nothing to me, we are strangers!" You glared at him in a way he had never seen you look at anyone, and felt his heart drop.
He tried to protest, feeling the tears leave his own eyes at the idea of losing you completely forever. But you just turned around and walked away.
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yawnderu · 10 months
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A/N: We made it to 3k less than a month after I reached 2k followers 🥺<3!!
I was genuinely not expecting this when I first made my account, but so far I've gotten so much support and I've met so many lovely people. I'm always reading your comments and reblogs, you mfs are hilarious JFEHJBFEHJB💕Onto the nasty sinful monkey sex now.
Synopsis: tired of working a dead-end job with no rewards, your childhood best friend offers you a job at his company, promising the stress levels are minimal and the pay is good. You accept with no second thoughts, not realizing you were tricked into becoming a stress relief toy for his men.
CW: humiliation, hard sex, gangbang, double vaginal, triple penetration, unsafe sex, creampie, 14 vs 1, cum swallowing, bukkake, spit kink, cockdrunk reader, deepthroat, handjobs, size kink, watersports.
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Being a commander who saw his soldiers as family, Graves knew he always had to watch out for his men, reward them for their hard work and loyalty, and what better way to do that than with a sweet little thing like you? Their own personal stress relief toy, who was tricked into taking a job at the Shadow Company, yet so willing to please. So eager.
"You're enjoying this more than you should." He's teasing you, of course, yet his cocky expression does nothing to help the pooling warmth on your stomach. One of the shadows is sitting behind you, gloved hands hooked under your knees to keep your legs open while Graves grinded his clothed boner on your bare cunt, the fabric feeling almost painful if it wasn't for how wet you are.
"Maybe I am." You manage to reply, barely able to speak between whiny moans and soft gasps, his cock rubbing in all the right places, but the stimulation wasn't enough. No, he had been teasing you like this for the past 20 minutes, making his men watch as you became a putty mess in his hand. The shadows were men of discipline and self-control, keeping their hands folded politely behind their backs, ignoring their painful, throbbing cocks until their commander allowed them to use their brand new chew toy.
"I want you to know," He began, hand slipping under your chin firmly to force you to look up at him, hard cock rubbing faster up and down your cunt, pressing into you harder. "That I ain't playin' with you, Stray. My men will do anythin' I tell them to. Last chance to pull out." He warned and you shook your head no, his cocky smile growing even wider as his other hand went to squeeze your tit, looking for any signs of discomfort and much to his delight, seeing none.
"I can take it." The words are more of a reassurance to yourself, gaze drifting around the room and counting the men inside. 14, including Graves. You swallow thickly, nervous eyes drifting back to Graves, who simply raises an eyebrow in return, waiting for you to realize just how fucked up you are if you don't pull out.
"I can take it." You repeat, slowly believing the words more and more. He simply smiles and ruffles your hair affectionately, the same way he always did growing up.
"Attagirl." He pulled away from you and you can see the satisfaction in his eyes, knowing you'll do a good job for him. He nods to his men and they quickly get to work, hands groping you all over, long fingers entering your cunt roughly to the point you're becoming nothing but a whiny, whimpering mess. They're rough and impatient, your wrists being grabbed and forced onto their hard cocks until you're willingly jerking them off, hands barely able to wrap around their thick lengths. It's intimidating, yet so hot to be locked in a room full of hormonal, pent-up military men.
"On your knees." One of them commands, yet you're forced on your knees before you can even try to get up. Four cocks are in front of you and you begin sucking with no hesitation, eyes closing as you give into your role at the company. Your lips wrap around one of them, slowly taking him deeper until he gets too impatient and forces your head down to the base, the gagging noises your throat lets out simply making it feel better.
"Good girl." You don't even know who's praising you, but it's enough to give you the encouragement you needed, starting to bob your head up and down until you're pulled off the cock, a new one being shoved down your throat. They're using you— you know it, and you're letting them. You get passed around, tasting and sucking on different dicks while your hands keep themselves busy, deep moans and groans coming from above you. They get too impatient quick, the man you recognize as Oz wrapping his fingers on your hair, pulling on it until you willingly get up, throwing you into bed and opening your legs wide with brutal force. You look down, eyes widening as you see just jow thick he is.
"You said you could take it, ain't that right?" He uses your words against you, the tip of his cock rubbing up and down your folds, your head dropping back as a moan escapes your lips. That's all he needs for confirmation, hands firmly holding the curve of your waist before he buries his cock to the hilt in one thrust. A pained moan escapes your lips, eyebrows furrowing as your nails dig into his arm— the pretty, long acrylic nails Graves paid for earlier that day.
"Shit... S‐slow down, asshole." The way you struggle to take him is almost cute, a cocky smirk pulling on his lips as he shakes his head no once, holding onto you tighter while he slams in and out of you. You don't have much room to complain before another cock is being shoved into your face, your lips willingly wrapping around the tip, hollowing your cheeks while your tongue circles all over it. Your whiny moans are muffled as you slowly begin to suck more and more, the pleasure of being groped all over and being fucked good slowly getting rid of any hints of regret you may have.
"Fucking slut." Oz says, hand coming up to gently pinch and pull on your nipples while he fucks into you faster. All you can do is nod, tears dotting your eyelashes at the mix of pain and pleasure, using the cock in your mouth to cover up the embarrassing sounds escaping you from being a used like a whore. Your body is manhandled into another position, a different shadow underneath you who wastes no time on fucking into your cunt, filling you just as much as Oz was. Your hands are kept busy jerking off more cocks while your mouth is put into good use again, muffling the moan of protest that threatens to escape when you feel the tip of a dick teasing the entrance of your ass.
"Wait—" You manage to speak when the shadow takes his cock out of your throat to give you time to breathe, only to be interrupted by your throat being forced open again. You close your eyes tightly, trying your best to relax, the folds of your tight hole slowly being eased, the man is being surprisingly gentle for someone who holds so much power over you.
"Good girl." He praises softly, voice deep with desire, yet holding so much care. His hand gently caresses your ass as he bottoms out, giving you time to adjust before his hands rest on your waist, pulling you up and down his cock, the thin layer of skin diving your ass and cunt making the pleasure even greater. It doesn't take much before you're willingly slamming your hips down, moving in your own pace and fucking yourself into the big cocks inside you like a greedy whore, too eager to wait.
"Lovely girl, ain't she?" You can recognize Grave's voice, choosing to ignore it for now as you simply focus on feeling good. It doesn't take long until the men are taking turns with you, wet cunt leaking everywhere, yet none of them seem to care. You wince as you feel a second cock on the entrance of your pussy, nervous, yet eager to please. You don't even have to lift your head to know whose cock it is— fucking Phillip Graves. The man who got you into this situation on the first place... which you're now glad happened.
He's surprisingly gentle as he squeezes his cock into your airtight hole, the pain of the stretch only being overpowered by the feeling of a cock slamming back into your throat, nose hitting dark, curly pubes every single time the masked man makes you deepthroat him. Your whiny moans are mixed in with the lewd, wet sounds of your holes being used and abused. You lost count of how many times you were filled, mind too hazy from all the overstimulation, yet you can register the door closing behind them, leaving you alone with Graves.
''Attagirl.'' He praises, his hand running down the length of your sweaty hair as his soft cock settles into your cum-stained lips, half-lidded eyes looking up at him with curiosity. Your mouth is suddenly filled with a warm liquid and you swallow without thinking about it, eyes closing once he's done pissing into your slutty mouth. He slowly pulls out, putting his cock back in his pants and admiring the mess his men did of your body, covered in cum and small bruises from their strong hold when they were fucking you.
''I got another job for ya. Ever heard of the 141?''
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thankskenpenders · 1 year
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It's a bit late, but I figure I have to touch on the big news from today, which is that for an (early) April Fools celebration Sega went and released a free visual novel about Sonic getting murdered
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Here's a thing you should know about me: I am deathly allergic to ironic visual novels, and the related trend of announcing dating sims (which are synonymous with the medium of visual novels as a whole to many people) on April Fools
Aside from an incredibly small selection of titles that have seen wider success, it feels like much of the game industry is only willing to acknowledge visual novels as a punchline. And said jokes about dating sim stereotypes have been done a million fucking times by now. They're parodies of parodies of parodies. Even when these prank dating sims actually go and get made rather than just being a few fake screenshots, it feels like it's just because VNs are seen as cheap, disposable entertainment compared to "real" games. Companies can afford to commission some bullshit like the KFC dating sim and write it off as a marketing stunt. And it works. These games will get widely reported on for being so ~wacky~, while devs pouring their hearts into doing sincere, interesting work with the medium of visual novels are usually out of fucking luck. It's so, so tiring. The fact that this happens like clockwork every year has made me come to dread April Fools Day
So imagine my surprise when The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog drops out of nowhere and it's actually one of my favorite Sonic games in years
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Aside from the intentionally tongue-in-cheek, attention-grabbing title (and Sonic doing the Family Guy Death Pose), there isn't an ounce of irony here. It's just a straight up whodunnit VN set on a train, albeit a lighthearted and pretty easy one. It's still a Sonic game, after all, and Sonic games are for kids. But it's so clearly made out of a place of love, both for the characters and for murder mysteries, rather than being a parody that's constantly winking at the camera and going "haha, isn't this absurd that this even exists at all?" Forget that. This wants to tell a genuinely good little Sonic story. Not to mention how gorgeous all of the artwork is throughout, with character illustrations from IDW cover artist Min Ho Kim (AKA deegeemin)
Like, for real. I've wanted the Sonic games to explore the supporting cast more for years, and I can't believe the game to finally do it is a murder mystery visual novel released for April Fools. This might be one of the best showcases of the cast... ever, in the games? The script from Ian Mutchler is so, so great, with fun and cute moments for everyone involved. And, smartly, you see the cast through the eyes of a new character (I named them "Blorbo") who isn't necessarily familiar with things like Blaze being a princess from another dimension, making this a surprisingly valid way to introduce people to the supporting cast. I'd say more, but it's a short game, so I think everyone should just go out and play it if you haven't already
There is still part of me that wishes a Sonic visual novel like this could've been greenlit for release any other day of the year, rather than being yet another April Fools visual novel. But regardless of the excuse they used to make it, I'm extremely happy that this exists
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sofiareidings · 1 year
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Coffee Runs
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Summary: The guy who's been coming to the cafe you work at finally asked why you've never called him by his name.
A/N: I'm sorry this story is so late, especially since I missed Monday's post. School has been so busy this week and I've also had a bunch if extracurricular lately. I'll try and be more on time from now on (Don't hold me to that) Also! I got the idea for this one shot from @hanllo-kitty
Word Count: 0.8k
Song Suggestions: Invisible String - Taylor Swift
It was a good job, a great job really. The cafe was in a nicer part of town and people would subconsciously give nice tips so your pay was good. Rarely were customers terrible. Most people that came in were students or really busy people rushing in and going.
There were a few regulars. Like Joe, Joe was an eighty year old man who came in everyday for a coffee and a sandwich. While he waited he would talk about the lotto numbers and how his kids were doing. There was also Lola, she was a journalist who spent most of her day sitting in the corner of the cafe while refilling the same cup until closing.
But there was only one regular you would think about while getting ready for work.
Come on, I don't know his name. Don't shoot the messenger.
He'd been coming in for the past three months almost everyday, right after the cafe opened for a coffee. He always looked a little tired and acted like it too. He barely made conversation and normally shuffled out of the store in the same fashion as the other overworked people; quickly.
You hadn't learned his name yet. He always seemed to forget to say it when you asked, which resulted in you making up something.
"Guy with the sweater vest!"
"Guy in the purple!"
"Guy with the scarf!"
You get the point.
He was your favourite regular because of his looks. God, even when he was incredibly sleep deprived he looked beautiful. He had brown hair that fell just below his sharp jaw. Brown eyes that always happened to be in the light from the cafe window, making the small gold flakes in his eyes shine. He was normally dressed in a sweater vest and neutral pants, he probably worked at some type of office. The one part of him that stood out in his outfits were his converse, odd for the rest of his outfit. You could've sworn a few times you saw brightly coloured mismatched socks.
***
The sound of the cafe bell echoed through the nearly empty shop, having only opened half an hour ago. Smiling in the direction of the person walking in you quickly noticed it was 'Guy with *whatever he had on*" who came in. Something was different, he had thick glasses on. That was new.
"Hey, just the regular coffee and donut?" You put the order into the computer, looking back up at him. Taking in the new look.
"Yeah, thanks." His lips creased into a line, you called it a tired smile, the same one he made everyday. He handed over his money and poured the change into the tip jar then stepped back to wait for his order.
A couple minutes later you came back to the counter with his order. "Guy with the glasses!"
He did his usual, smiled and grabbed his order saying bye. But just when he reached the threshold of the door he paused and turned. "Why do you do that?"
Having already turned around you paused, this was the first time he'd talked to you in a clear voice. You weren't really sure what he meant. "Do what? Did I get your order wrong?"
He cleared his throat and seemed a little frustrated. "You never say my name, you just call me guy with something. Is it just to annoy me?"
"What? No, you've just never told me your name." Laughing a little, realising the misunderstanding.
"I didn't?" His face changed to confusion, "Oh my gosh, I didn't." He realised his mistake then his face flushed a shade of red.
"Don't worry, it's okay. Guy with the glasses." You laughed, looking around the cafe for a minute, strange it was still pretty empty.
"I am so sorry, I thought I told you and you just wanted to annoy me. I feel like a jerk, you seem so nice." Genuinely sorry he apologised profusely. "Can I make it up to you?"
Deciding to take the chance, you'd been daydreaming about this guy for months. "Well, maybe you could take me on a date." A little shocked by your own boldness, your face went up like twelve degrees.
"Uh, yeah…" He trailed off, clearly flustered. "Yeah, I would really like that."
"Well then, it's a date." You beamed, internally jumping up and down out of excitement. Since when were you so forward? He made that smile he made everyday before turning towards the door again.
That's when you realised.
"Wait!" You shouted, louder than you expected. Causing your coworker to drop a cup. "You still haven't told me your name."
"It's Spencer. I'll make sure to be back tomorrow." He nodded again and chuckled lightly before finally walking through the door.
God could tomorrow morning come any quicker.
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