#i felt so sorry for both of them
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
❝Since when did you start liking me?❞
FORCE JIRATCHAPONG as PHOOM and BOOK KASIDET as VICHA KANNULA episode 7 of PEACEFUL PROPERTY
#peaceful property#peaceful property the series#บ้านหลอน on sale#haunted house on sale#th: peaceful property#asiandramanet#userdramas#thai drama#bibi gifs#book kasidet#force jiratchapong#forcebook#mlm#lakornedit#lakorn#mlmedit#mlmgif#mlmsource#dramasource#what if i say this might be my favorite forcebook performance?#i'm very serious they delivered it so well#i felt so sorry for both of them#ALSO#force in that scene with his mom when he knocks on the door begging her to let him go back? amazing tbh
665 notes
·
View notes
Text
sekuuti and akestur, deities of the rau-kakse and crakam
LONG ASS CREATION/ORIGIN STORY OF THE RAU KAKSE AND CRAKAM HERE
the sun and moon both have important roles in northern basilisk religion, and are interpreted as two deities: sekuuti (sun) and akestur (moon).
both seen as patron deities of their respective people (rau-kakse aka basilisks and crakam aka harpies). their eggs were originally stars in the sky that fell and hatched in the world below.
at first, there was only pure spirit. something known as "tukaarti" (which is an unconscious but all powerful driver of all things) - the "natural force", arose, and began create shapes from this spirit, polarities, warmth, energy eventually the forces shaped this spirit into The World, which was barren at first, amorphous, but this shaped energy began to solidify, first into mountains, then into lakes, rivers, flora etc etc. but the water did not stay liquid long for after the formation of these things, and a brief flourishing period, the World cooled down, and fell under a great winter, as it had no sun. the sky is basically where tukaarti resides in its rawest form still, and stars are "concerntrations" of it, and the only light source. the stars began to fall eventually on occasion into the world, and that would spawn Creatures. early on when the world was still fresh after this was when the eggs of sekuuti and akestur fell, they were among the last creatures to fall onto the world. prior to them similar animals had hatched from other eggs, but they all perished trying to survive on their own.
both sekuuti and akestur were lonely and struggled on their own - persecuted by hostile ancestors of other creatures. not only was it difficult, most of all, it was lonely.
sekuuti was so lonely that she desparately wanted children, but as she was the only one of her kind she prayed to tukaarti for a way to achieve that company she desired. she was heard, and granted the ability to shapeshift to any creature that she found. this also was something tukaarti needed, as it lacked a way for spirit to go from the World back to tukaarti, and by "collecting" bodies to learn as forms, sekuuti would also return their spirit to tukaarti. with this ability, she resorted to courting different birds that she transformed into and bearing their young. and she did successfully hatch them. her children would not only inherit a lot of her features and shapeshifting ability, but they also inherited the plumage and some other traits from their other parents, and she loved them all the same. this also means that according to rauk-kaksian lore sekuuti "has no comparison" and doesnt look like an extant bird in particular, but interpretations vary. these children were the first "rau-kakse". the most important established trait of her depictions though is that it seemed that the glow from her egg ("star") never faded, and her plumage glowed strongly and brilliantly.
akestur, meanwhile, sought company with birds in a different way. he found flocks of corvids, flocks of nightjars, and found certain comfort with them. but he was frustrated with the fact that they could not communicate, he prayed for the ability to "hold a conversation" with his new contemporaries. and the tukaarti granted him his wish - the flocks that he had become familiar with were granted a blessing, but with that blessing, they also changed in morphology - they became harpies (crakam), and gained sapience. he was reminded, however, that he had gotten this wish without cost - and that the forces counted on him to do what they wished in return if they so needed it. they only cryptically let him know to "not keep his eyes off of the flame". akestur is thought to have looked like a harpy slightly, but with a different face, black as night, but with brilliant glowing white eyes.
again, the world during this time was pretty barren and harsh due to an eternal winter, as they had no sun. sekuuti, while having found comfort in her kin now, was unhappy with the state of affairs - especially as many young would die in the harsh conditions. akestur, too, hated seeing his new contemporaries suffer.
the two groups would meet one day, sekuuti and akestur leading them. the two were fascinated by one another - sekuuti brought warmth to akestur and the crakam, while akestur brought a certain darkness, that while somewhat discomforting at first, also shrouded both groups from other hostile creatures, theyd come to find out. there was safety in his darkness. sekuuti and akestur grew very close and became partners (according to most legends).
sekuuti wanted to change the state of the world and set her eyes upon the sky, wanting to become a sun and bring warmth to all and end the eternal winter. akestur was hesitant, for he did not want to lose her, and her children needed her. when seeking the guidance of tukaarti - they discouraged her from it, urged her to stay and perform her duty as a bringer of spirit from corpses of this plane back to tukaarti. but she was insistent, and one day, decided to simply go for it. she flew so fast, with such force, that she caught flame, but her will was so strong that it didnt bother her and she became one with the flames eating her as she flew up to the sky.
akestur was too late, and only realised she was gone once she had lit up the sky. betrayed, upset, but most of all - realising that he had failed tukaarti. he had let his eyes off his flame. as a punishment, tukaarti undid the blessing it had granted his people for half of them, leaving half of them as regular birds again.
sekuuti lighting up the world had done something - it had taken away the eternal winter, but the problem was - sekuuti had nothing to temper her up there. the world was beset by a devastating drought with no end in sight. akestur, trying to lead his people as well as the basilisks, then realised what he had to do.
before leaving his people, he urged them "to not take their eyes off the flames", meaning the basilisks in this case, and then, he also set off for the sky. instead of setting ablaze, his eyes seemed to burst with the pressure of the speed of his flight, engulfing him in a cold, bright light. once he joined sekuuti in the sky - the heat was finally tempered.
however, sekuuti, both overwhelmed with love but also guilt and shame over abandoning akestur, fled him. but he, loyal and also overwhelmed with love, began to follow her. and basically, the day/night cycle is their eternal chase after one another - and on occasion, they meet, during eclipses :,) perhaps they also realised that their chase is what brings the world balance. and perhaps its a bit of a punishment from tuukarti for disobeying it.
#worldbuilding#lore#fantasy#speculative biology#speculative fantasy#speculative zoology#pareidolia tag#BTW FOR ANY ASKS hi guys again hi i will likely answer Later but yes. i have been pondering this sorry#pondering actually bcs i pondered a certain rau-kaksian tradition that i felt needed a connection to a greater creation story#these two are the “main” deities of both crakam and rau-kakse#but crakam also worship other different deities that can be highly local#while rau-kakse may worship some of them but mainly are most dedicated to these two. But it may vary ofc#rau-kakse#crakam#realising i should actually start making tags for the species and culture stuff so. LOL
395 notes
·
View notes
Text
Casual touches between Sol and Sunjae 💛
LOVELY RUNNER - EPISODE 16
#lovely runner#kdramaedit#kdramadaily#kdramanetwork#userlab#my edits#if anyone is wondering why the colouring is kind of all over the place it's because:#a) i'm all over the place#and b) my computer crashed while i was in the middle of this set ghjfkg just started glitching out of nowhere#[ the out of nowhere is actually me having around 40 psd files opened :))))) ]#anyway i say casual touches because they're not the big kiss or the reunion or the proposal etc#but i love that we got so many this episode they really felt like a couple (grown up too)#and also i liked that sol initiated so many because a lot of kdramas tend to have their fl shy away from that#but they're both playful with it#ok i'm done giffing now sorry @my pc#byeon woo seok#kim hye yoon#this isn't even all of them btw 💜#mine: lovely runner
760 notes
·
View notes
Text
enlighten me, my dear. why am i still here?
#in the back of my mind i killed the both of them because i cant take this shit anymore#phoenix wright you incorrigible man are you or are you not going to push him away make up your DAMN FUCKING MIND#ace attorney#ace attorney art#im sorry guys but i just i cant take them away from myind#this obsesson i have w them is becoming so unhealthy#love this work of mine tho#very proud of this#ace attorney fanart#dont ask me where they are i dont know either.. rhe setting felt so right to me#art#aa#aa art#fanart#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#aa4#aa4 fanart#seven year gap
766 notes
·
View notes
Note
"#still losing my mind over the beta canon where bones lives with spock on vulcan when Amanda gets ill and then passes away#and Spock's like yeah my dad liked him so much <3"
where's that from???
It's from The Autobiography of Mr. Spock by Una McCormick!
#thank you so very much for asking!!! sorry the answer took so long#i literally. bought the book to answer it bc i felt bad linking the page someone saved to talk about sp*rk#sorry 4 being so insane about them#spones#spock#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#it's just crazy how much both bones and spock are constantly absolutely obsessed with each other#calculating the way the other works. examining every inch of what particularly fascinates them#all of them but spock the scientist particularly focused on his mind. bones the doctor particularly focused on his heart/physiology
441 notes
·
View notes
Text
North and Simon: (shaking hands on killing Simon potentially)
#detroit become human#north wr400#simon pl600#markus rk200#josh pj500#jericho is just... so funny to me as like. how they function (or dont)#like im v glad that i did a Good Job my first run and no one hated me but i also felt like a very distraught parent#in regards to how markus is just able to either hurt them (by suggestions OF THE OTHERS IN THE GROUP)#or help them because hey what the fuck i just dragged simon to safety and now north wants me to kill him#and then simon like oh no north got shot you should leave her BUT ! i saved her and made simon happy#so its like you know what they have to have some animosity but also respect#i feel like i wanna see more of north and simon being buddies ... and i might have to do that myself#but i also apologize if this is ooc for them because i really did only just play through once and got a not good end#i probably missed a lot of lore and stuff so im v sorry if im Messing Them Up#its currently just me liking their designs and vibes and hoping im not ruining other fans lives by being wrong#and i honestly dont know when north would kill simon but hes on her possible victims list#so since both of their victim lists include themselves for suicide it just reminded me of the meme#with im so mad im gonna (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health)#and it was like yeah watch north be like im gonna (well if i cant kill myself because markus said no suicide) murder someone
178 notes
·
View notes
Note
can I hug the narrator? I’ve had a shitty week :(
P.S: tell him I love his voice 🥰
#android’s insides#the stanley parable#the stanley parable art#the stanley parable fanart#tsp fandom#tsp art#tsp fanart#the stanley parable narrator#tsp narrator#thats you btw#It's meant to be silly I swear!!#I typically don't skip around as I like to answer them in order they're received but this one felt a tad urgent#I'm very sorry you had a bad week but hey; it's over now and next week may be better!#I know its an awfully Sisyphus way to think about things but it's gotten me through#we're both still kicking so we must be doing something right ey?
278 notes
·
View notes
Text
Kinda 😾 rn cause I realized the Senna show made the "can we be equal? 👉👈" scene SOOOO much less intimate/cute. Upon watching it, I was too distracted by "Oh! They're referencing dialog that actually happened!!" but now I'm peeved having rewatched the actual clip 😭
Why would they do this to me specifically
#skflka sorry i love to nitpick#i guess this kinda thing is fascinating to me#why change the setting and layout so much???? if you're going to portray dialog we have actual footage of#to me theres just smth so palpably different about them sitting pretty intimately close together on a couch#in much more informal zipped down racesuits. very chill. very close. etc. much more levity(if a bit awkward lol)#vs having them in this very formal setting. sitting in separate chairs. in full racesuit. team and press surrounding them.#having ayrton sit so much more stiff and alain more lax whereas they were both lax in the original. ayrton even more so w his arm draped#i guess im curious how little things like this contribute to the overall portrayal and narrative they are specifically pushing#id include clips to compare bcs i feel like the way they have them speak the lines is sooooo different from irl#but clipping netflix is so annoying LOL maybe later#smth about how they make ayrton feel like this innocent puppy whereas they feel like they're on very equal footing in the irl clip#idk how to describe it. i guess i felt in the original clip alain felt way more cutesy and earnest#joking abt fighting and being equal. and ayrton laughs w him and is much more the intense one yknow#whereas he is portrayed very earnestly in the netflix one. as if alain is this older driver who doesnt take him seriously.#hope this makes sense :) yes i am the annoying fan who holds up a microscope to everything slkjal#anyways. i love that clip. alain is sooooo cute in it#prosenna#catie.rambling.txt#f1
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive seen so many people draw that first meme w the kfc gang and i Love it i just thought it was funny with my aus/theories strange someone frisk and knight chara being Damn Nuisances for kris and being. older than them
and also thinking abt my headcanons for how frisk was able to become possessed and how that might mean for kris (their dialogue is based on this art of mine here) consider this perhaps a post-game were ssfrisk is No Longer attempting to take the SOUL back and kris and the SOUL are. amicable.
also narrator chara and ssfrisk are both From the undertale timeline but chara being dead they didn’t age. knight chara is deltarune’s chara. just to catch everyone up one Just The Hell I’m talking about
#also tweaked my damb ssfrisk design Again. sorry#i felt like their dark world fit having 2 delta runes looked too cluttered#so they have an. empty heart. :)#death mention#suicide implied#the art gallery#deltarune#strange someone frisk#knight chara#both of these things I could’ve and probably would’ve made more sense if I drew them in the light world but Whatever
387 notes
·
View notes
Text
francis madoka magica crozier
(the witch designs are here and also posted separately with some lore under the tag 'the soul gem passage')
#the terror#puella magi madoka magica#obligatory magical girl au sketchdump#digital art#krita#francis crozier#harry goodsir#james fitzjames#john bridgens#cornelius hickey#also jopson would be SO homura coded that i cannot even handle drawing that someone please help me out with it#everyone is plagued by white magical beasts big and small x2. now with kyubey in the mix#you'd think finding the passage would be easier with their powers - and yet -#anyway sir john held back on becoming an mg until he was desperate to make a break for it#his wish was for the passage to be found - but he did not specify it would be him who'd find it#so he died long before that eventually happened#also no cat ears here if you see them that's just a diadem or another headpiece sorry#thinking about if hickey made his deal after the flogging#again in a bad state and with bad phrasing - just something like 'i wish to get out of here'#and then his ears perked up when they left the ships and he jumped at the chance to get everyone together because he thought he WOULD#get himself and all his boyfriends out.#well. they did leave crozier's camp#anyway i'm probably not gonna draw more of these so if anyone wants to join in i'd like to see some takes on their witch forms!#also yeah. crozier's shoulder pieces ARE modelled after tricorn hats#both bc he lost the other two captains and had to bear the responsibility for the expedition on his shoulders#and because i just wanted to use a symbol of power in a silly way as some mg outfits do#and yes jfj has a cprset and yes i was thinking of orpheus while drawing bridgens#and goodsir in a beret just felt right lol#also made hickey's clothes less open than the others' bc reasons#the soul gem passage
87 notes
·
View notes
Text
eventually once im done rambling about warriors, wild is next, i just need more warriors focus at the moment since its harder to find things for him
botw and hw were the first zelda games id ever played so these two mean so much to me so you bet your ass im gonna make them interact with each other and ramble about the both of them
they dont have enough that is just them
#linked universe#lu#linked universe warriors#lu warriors#lu wild#linked universe wild#ezzie rambles#my bad i just love both of them so much#okay sorry about that little ramble just felt like i needed to know how much i love both of them equally#figures both my favorite links are arsonist
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I read A Stitch in Time and one result of that which I was certainly not expecting was that I feel so much sympathy for Enabran Tain. Garak's life is a tragedy, but Tain's is a fucking black comedy.
I mean, he's a terrible person and an absolute shitbag, but can you imagine? You have this kid. You go to all the trouble of arranging for him to be raised in a family situation where he won't be rejected from society for being your bastard. You get him into the nicest indoctrination school where he can hobnob with plenty of uppercrust kids. You get him a job in your Order and all the proper training. And he's actually, like, really good at it. But he has this fatal flaw of being completely incapable of not making stupid, short-sighted, emotional decisions.
A scene I imagine has to have happened just prior to Garak and Tain's confrontation at the end of part II:
Like goddamn. When Tain asked "what's your plan for getting rid of her husband?" and Garak's just like "plan what plan." Dude. I'M disappointed, I can only imagine the guy who's job it is to know and plan for everything isn't at least as disappointed.
I know he didn't actually, but do you think there was ever a time when Tain wanted to be like, You know what. Just go back to Tolan and become a gardener. Join that illegal hippie cult. It's fine.
#enabran tain#<tagging mostly in case anyone has him blocked bc i get it.#a stitch in time#elim garak#ds9 the garyalmor rewatch#(obviously not technically part of the rewatch but that's mostly a timing tag for organizing my opinions)#can't believe this is the second time i've compared tain to a character from teen wolf. BUT IT WONT BE THE LAST#I was reading apolesen's fantastic Love in a Time of Oppression and for some reason it made me remember a fic i read last year by#GoddessofBirth called There Are Many Names in History (but none of them are ours). which. yeah that's probably bc of the doomed nature of#a prequel romance. but also Chris Argent and Garak both win the 'i'm sorry your dad is the literal worst' award. Anyway I've always felt#like I *should* get a Tywin Lannister vibe off of Tain. like this is the guy who orchestrated the red wedding. who fucked up his kids so ba#he died from it. But I don't. I can definitely agree to a Gerard Argent vibe though. The 'you though you were laying out some kind of#dynasty but in actuality your son is a better person than you and everything you have ever striven for has been undone' sort of vibe
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Time was at a standstill. Vegas was holding his breath without noticing, and continued to hold it when he did - he was afraid of what would happen if he exhaled loudly enough to draw attention to himself. His gaze was shifting between Pete and the man who was standing before them in the doorway, blocking their entrance. Vegas had never seen him before, but even so, he recognized Pete in him enough to know who he was. A dangerous aura surrounded him. There was an edge to his presence that Vegas would only come across people of certain circles. He was a fighter. A muay khao. Pete's father. Shame coursed through Vegas' body, smearing his skin, settling in his lungs, rendering him speechless. I thought he was dead, he wanted to tell Pete if he could. He wanted to scream at him, I thought you killed him. Pete was the one who broke the stillness. As if awakened by something, he took a half-step back and made a motion with his arms, almost raising them to his chest, but not quite. In an instant, Pete reverted into the pet Vegas had been keeping at the safehouse, bound by handcuffs and afraid of his belt hitting flesh and drawing blood. A lump formed in Vegas' throat. "Have you stopped practicing? Your form is off." The uncanny similarities between Pete and his father appearance-wise didn't mean a thing when it came to their voices. Vegas shivered. Was this what Pete would sound like in a few decades? (Were these the condescending words he'd choose to spew? Was Pete going to embody his father? Was Vegas embodying his?) "What are you doing here?" Pete whispered. "They let me out for a few days, so I came here to collect some money. Imagine my surprise when I found out my offspring left the job someone found him worthy enough of doing to... do what exactly? Yaai didn't want to tell me." He crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. Vegas didn't know what he was allowed to say. If he was allowed to say anything at all. "It's none of your business." "I'd say it very much is my business, as well as yaai's business who was dependent on the money you were making being some rich asshole's human shield." A choked sound scratched Vegas' throat. He didn't like getting reminded of Pete being the main family's bodyguard, even though he stopped being one mere months ago. Especially like this. That was the first time Pete's father stopped looking at his son and turned his head to look at Vegas. For a moment, there seemed to be recognition in his eyes. Did he know who Vegas was? Did he care? A snort came out of his mouth. He leaned on the door. "Oh, I see how it is." He laughed, scratched his neck. "I never expected you to whore yourself out for money. Tell me, is it preferable to the path I carved out for you?" Vegas could sense the disgust in his voice. He could also see it on Pete's face. He was too astonished to share it, but not enough to be unable to speak. "Khun, there has been some misunderstanding-" "Don't bother. I can recognize a faggot when I see one." Pete's movements were too fast for Vegas to stop him. A direct jab to the nose; his father fell like a pack of cards, groaning like a wounded animal. Surprisingly, no blood - Pete held back. Vegas didn't know what to think about that. "That was a pathetic attack, even for you." "Get up." "We're not in the ring, son." Pete growled. Vegas could see his hands trembling as he was keeping them in the air, maintaining an offensive stance. "That never stopped you before." "You were too young to understand what I was doing back then. What I was preparing you for." Pete was silent. "The world isn't kind. It'll fuck you over one way or another." He got up, spat on the ground. "You still haven't learned a thing. You're too old to afford being naive." He turned around, and without sparing a look at Pete again, said: "Now get the fuck out of my house." (For @musictooth, whose posts about Pete's father have reignited my passion for this specific concept and for @wretchedamaranth, whose comments on my writing are always lovely and precious ❤️)
#tw slur#vegaspete#pete saengtham#snippet#yu is writing#I started writing this today while waiting for my bus to arrive and wrote most of it on public transport <33#(hopefully it doesn't show lol)#there's a lot of context missing here but basically: VP visit yaai and a wild father appears#I didn't have space to include her unfortunately but just imagine her in the background with a sad look on her face#which is mostly fixed on Vegas :))#for no reason at all :))#due to a certain someone who I won't name (😤) I mayyy turn this into a fic? Maybe?#because 1. I did have a similar idea a year or so ago but never did anything with it and 2. this concept NEEDS to be explored more come on#because in my mind Vegas and Pete can't go to yaai's house until/unless Pete's father leaves#all their stuff is in her house#and they only have Vegas' car with which they traveled there#and Bangkok is too far away to go back now in the middle of the night (yes this happens at night time)#so basically what I'm saying is: VP will spend their night in the car :)#I'm sure the combination of an agitated Pete and a tired Vegas who's also equating Pete with his father due to their external similarities#will be a delightful experience for them both#I'm vibrating out of my skin just thinking about it#can I promise I'll write it and put it out there? Hell no#can I still get excited by the prospect of it happening? Hell yes#sorry I'm rambling a little too much over here#I just haven't felt this good writing in MONTHS#thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it <3333
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
so lol, i kinda and finally listened to the jyushi and hitoya drama track that came with noctiluna (i am working lol) and it was adorable lol, jyushi and hitoya rode their bikes out to the sea and had a lovely time 🤗
and so i’m sure hearing that the jyushi hitoya drama track was them going to the ocean immediately set off a lot of alarm bells, ik it did for me LOL but the track also went out of its way to explain that jyushi had wanted to go with kuukou as well, but he was mysteriously unavailable, much to jyushi slight frustration, and y’all gotta understand that the second round of manga drama tracks have hinted at developments that happened in this current track drop i’m so terrified the bat drama track might have something to do with the ocean bro 😭😭😭
#this is vee speaking#i can’t remember if it’s something i tossed out on stream or in the tags of some post#but everyday i get more and more certain that ren and unami symbolise something kuukou needs to grow into and something he fears lol#ren’s name means lotus and you know it’s the flower of enlightenment lol#and unami’s name means the sea essentially and that’s one kuukou’s dislikes#so i’m pretty certain something about ren and kuukou’s story symbolises goals for kuukou#but his and unami’s symbolises a fear or something that negatively impacts him in some way#but anyway lol hitoya reasoned that kuukou was probably just busy to get jyushi to stop thinking about it#and kuukou at the end of the track messages jyushi asking him what he’s doing lmao#and the track ends with jyushi and hitoya wanting to come to the sea with kuukou some time#*clenches fist* may it happen and not be traumatic for any of them lol#i’m so sorry i have more to say tho LOL#this track and the curry track had an emphasis on winds actually#like there was a moment of silence in the curry track where the wind rustled the trees and it felt peaceful b4 kuukou ruined it lol#and then in the noctiluna track they both enjoyed the wind riding their bikes and the sounds of the ocean with that wind it was peaceful#maybe kuukou then messaged jyushi??? but nvm that kuukou has a verse talking about kamikaze in terminus#and a kamikaze is ‘the great wind’ translaterated and symbolises destructive forces of the wind and sea#IM JUST SO TERRIFIED WHAT IS THIS DRAMA TRACK ABOUT TO BE ABOUT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#c: jyushi#c: hitoya
21 notes
·
View notes
Photo
into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the witch.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
293 notes
·
View notes
Text
The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.
We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.
@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)
If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.
(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)
We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.
Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.
By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.
But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)
One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)
With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.
To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)
At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.
TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.
I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.
#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot#this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day#where she relayed an argument she had with her partner#who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes#and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see#and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence#when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it#(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post#again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so#also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive#being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire#it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed#she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it#because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them#whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner#in her adult life at least#and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted
55 notes
·
View notes