#ok I think that’s everything I had and a million sorrys if this post exploded on ur dash i wish I could turn off my stupid sports rpf brain

[slamrink]

Nothing to see here just steph stealing glances of klay like he’s afraid he’s going to get caught 😃😃 (via namxsj on twitter )

[yuukei-yikes]

would you talk about shintaro's romantic relationships post str? im really curious about how what happens between shinaya breakups and after. how'd he hit on takane? how did they get together with kano? what does ayano think abt all of this?

ive had this ask in my inbox for like 3 weeks idk why cuz i love it but. ok u gotta hear me out for a second. im gonna repeat myself A LOT A LOT ALOT but i have a lot of fun doing that💗 this ended up super long because im sick in the head.

after shintaro and ayano break up shintaro is like. OK HE'S SPIRALING DOWN. but it's a lil more nuanced than that it's not that he reverts back and it is exactly the same as it was and he's just whining over ayano shut in his room. deep down and truthfully he's totally relieved. he wasn't ready to be in a relationship, just like ayano, and while this isn't the only reason for their relationship's demise it is basically the core problem, and out of it a million other problems are created.

during the time he's like. recovering. or whatever u wanna call it. he dooooes sort of revert back a lil bit to being a shut in but not really bc now there's everyone around and no one will let him actually do it LOL also he's definitely not as despaired as he was back then. and takane is there for him a lot. also haruka and momo and just generally the dan even if the mekatrio wanna kill him with hammers. sidenote on that i think ayano after cooling off she would explain it wasn't entirely shintaro's fault and she was also kind of a dickhead in the situation (ayano was projecting all her pain on one person and taking out her sadness and frustration solely on the relationship when she was really hurting abt literally everything else. this also wasn't fair to shintaro and she knows it) and mekatrio are like oh my god our sister doing wrong?!?!?! completely possible she is a person. continue <- except kano. we'll get back to him.

i think shintaro rather takes it as an excuse to finally break down as if he didn't have the right to before, a bit similarly to ayano he was in denial of all this baggage. like it was really a match made in hell LMAO but basically shintaro is STILL in denial even after breaking up while ayano is picking herself up which is why she even ends things in the first place

while he's in this state obviously takane's worrymeter chart goes off and breaks and explodes and shintaro sorta reverting triggers takane into sorta reverting so then theyre back to being alone in his room. LIKE i keep saying shintaro is terrified of the unknown, like he's seen the same thing over a hundred times and he can remember it all but this is new and it's very scary.

so it's comforting to be back in his room with takane. because thru it all he's also resenting takane because all this time they were supposed to be like this duo or whatever, like in ALL routes they're ALWAYS together she is always there with him and she just. cannot remember that. they were together for a year but for shintaro it was one year a hundred times and for takane it's JUST one year. their codependency comes from this, for shintaro it was so much more time and for takane even if for her it was really just a year she made shintaro her LIFE so it's just as heavy for both. sorry their friendship makes me so crazy

and when shintaro is off horribly dating ayano, haruka and takane are being normal and picking up where they left off and being cute and working on their problems together and etcetc like I've talked abt it in a post lol but basically harutaka drives shintaro crazy because he's like ohhhh my god why does SHE get this. why is takane managing so well. subconsciously ofc my man has NOT the emotional capacity to identify that feeling so he expresses it through live shintaro reaction. like as he and ayano go more and more downhill, takane is more and more self aware of their codependent dynamic and yknow WORKING ON IT. like its simultaneous how shintaro is losing both these relationships so fast at the same time.

so when the breakup happens and shintaro is NOT OK, of course takane puts a pause to everything and is by his side. for shintaro this is super comforting not because takane is there for him and she's helping but rather cuz. yes. THIS is what i know. THIS is comfortable. and as a plus to shintaro, takane reverting her progress probably means she reverts progress with haruka and that makes shintaro a little relieved he's just like thank god im not the only one fucking up💖 takane and i are 2 different sides of the same coin so she can't run she's just like me for real💖 that's just his sick narrative btw. in reality takane is totally aware of what's happening and overdue giving shintaro a smack in the head

like it WONT BE LIKE IT USED TO because THINGS ARE DIFFERENT!! takane cannot dedicate her life to shintaro and the fact he sort of expected her to do it again is insulting to her. like from shintaro its very unconscious he doesn't do it on purpose he just refuses to think outside this box of personal narrative he's built. its not like shintaro is being a dickhead like hey Live For Me Again he rather shows it in moments like, he's surprised when takane says she has to go bc she has work or bc she made plans with haruka, or how he will call her at any time unannounced and be like. hey on ur way here can u get more coke ok byeeee and she's like. it tells her he EXPECTS her to put him before everything like she used to and it pisses her off.

to rant a bit abt the "personal narrative" of shintaro. i think it's interesting that shintaro is essentially a very self centered character and kagepro is very meta in the way it treats him as a main character. because inside of kagepro, he really gets as much focus as any other character, they're all "main" character to us. its rather inside the story he plays a very important role therefore he is the protagonist and as the protagonist he puts an end to the story itself too. i think this is all interesting together and fun to dissect shintaro's character as inherently self centered because that's what the story is. it shows not only in the way he acts even without retaining activated, but he is really in the center of it, and the way he handles it in everyday life once this story is over and theyre free from a narrative in the first place, is self destructive (and fun. to me) because its not compatible to being a normal fucking person.

so yeah it IS taking him a bit to really LOOK at his friends and stop looking only for himself. technically he's lived a hundred doomed lives and now he's here trying out this one and again it is scary and new and well. he is trying to navigate thru it, even if not in the best ways. he takes takane totally for granted because of this. in the narrative she has always been his sidekick. she has been the second main character to him. she has always lived and served him in all timelines, in all the time theyve known each other that she can't remember and he can, takane has been ene and ene has always been his annoying lap dog he hates as much as he needs in order for the story to move forward. so takane also being her own person outside of him, moving on, finding love somewhere else and OUT LOUD tackling issues like hey we have a codependent dynamic going on we should work on, IS ALSO STRANGE AND HE DOESNT LIKE IT. he shuns it completely whenever takane brings it up, which she does a lot as time goes on. because time keeps going on. it keeps passing by. and everyone around him seems to be growing up and that's so infuriating and so terrifying and ayano dumping him is as much of a reality check as ayano asking him out in the first place, and he doesn't know what to do with it other than cry and thrive off the attention takane is giving him again

i think takane would try to do what she does and be silly as fuck to distract shintaro but this time also sorta mixed in with actual talking unlike how their dynamic used to be. not to repeat everything i just said but YEAH shintaro is taking her for granted, he already was but when he and ayano break up it sort of gets worse. the way takane isn't reacting how he expects her because she's... not playing a role, she is just a person. she is growing up and moving on and this serves as extremely horrifying as well so he. teehee. enter kano

kano enters the picture in between shinaya breakup and takane having enough. shintaro and takane still share this dynamic but shintaro keeps being forced to look at the reality of his situation and the way he's been self sabotaging all of these relationships and he haaaates it and i think while kano is dealing with all his own baggage he is SO mad at shintaro for his whole thing with ayano and kano is Very emotionally smart he just uses it for evil&malicious purposes and also he is so petty all his eq becomes constipated and destructive. but like he knows it. he knows he's hurting himself by approaching shintaro who he KNOWS he likes and he isn't even sure himself if he's approaching him because he likes him or because he hates him. kano has so many mixed feelings over shintaro especially in this scenario where a messy shinaya breakup takes place.

kano gets close to shintaro because he knows he's at his lowest. he tells himself it's to irritate him and to throw things on his face and just to be evil or just to watch him suffer from up close but shintaro's out here looking like a kicked puppy and kano is whipped So Bad he can't help IT!! but not even he knows with WHAT intention he approaches him with. and he hates himself for it bc auugghhhh ITS AYANOS EX FIRST AND FOREMOST AND HE HURT HER AND AYANO CAN DO NO WRONG NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS AND I HATE HIM but kano and ayano sharing their shit taste in guys is his demise. he likes shintaro dammit. so no matter WHY, he gets close and well they kiss a little.

from shintaro's side IVE SAID i dont think shintaro hates kano as popularly believed idk i think he's rather confused with him and even understands why he's so icky around him bc he's overprotective over ayano so like HE GETS IT. i think shintaro and kano get in this AUGGH SHUT UP IDIOT dynamic that goes both ways exactly here because shintaro isnt in a great headspace like always but now especially and kano is just a fucking asshole. so they hang out and its awful and also a relief to shintaro because it feels good to be finally held accountable. this is also how he feels when ayano breaks up with him, tho for her it's also mixed with so many other things like a reality check. that angry ayano is unfamiliar and strange and freaks him out. but when it was over it was a relief because it meant he was free of that relationship he didn't want to be in (entirely. of course ayano and shintaro love each other and get together because they wanted to, but sadly love is not enough sometimes) and he was also free of having to see sides of ayano he isn't comfortable with seeing yet

with kano that isn't a problem because he's always been a little shit so it's a win. also makes him feel responsible, also a win. but seeing shintaro be accepting of being at fault it makes kano so damn angry too like UGH WELL IT WASNT ENTIRELY UR FAULT!! AYANO ALSO DID THIS AND THAT like EXACTLY as ayano has been telling kano when kano kept antagonizing shintaro in their breakup, ayano keeps explaining her side of things and how she wasn't entirely innocent either. and kano doesn't wanna listen but still parrots all of it to shintaro when shintaro keeps having a pity party and shintaro's like wow. i never saw it like that... and kano's like WELL THATS WHAT ID SAY IF I DIDNT THINK ITS ALL UR FAULT. WHICH IT IS. U HURT MY SISTER WHO CAN DO NO WRONG I HATE YOU. I LITERALLY CANNOT STAND YOU and then they kiss. because theyre crazy.

anyways. also terrifying. 1. unfamiliar. 2. gay. so shintaro is losing his damn mind like the whole thing is his extended freak out about the narrative being over and living in the good ending basically lol. so at his wits end he IS INDEED going to takane. everything is falling apart and nothing makes sense and he can't feel grounded and he feels so sick all the time and THAT'S why he turns to takane. the one constant!!!

takane is the one constant. takane is who has always been there. and because he needs at least 1 more punch to be able to see clearly that's how he turns to her and "hits on her" as I've put it in the past LMAO i think that's very simplified but u asked specifically how he does this and man i wanna write it so bad in a fanfic like i keep saying but OK BASICALLY its not that he Hits On Her its rather that he's like talking to takane as if she hadn't made any progress like him . he's like what if we make ourselves a favor and u move back in my comp 💖and we live driving each other crazy forever 💖wouldnt that be crazy. and takanes like YES that WOULD be crazy. amd shintaro's like "RIGHT it would TOTALLY be crazy LOL!!! but erm. HEAR ME OUT" because he thinks she's still barely holding it together and assumes she's still obsessed with him which she isn't, i picture this happening one or two years after str so takane's like. living her best domestic harutaka life. she's FINE. and shintaro's talking to her like she isn't fine which has been pissing her off already from before but now its in one culminating moment. because it's ok to hold ur hand on the journey to heal but if u refuse to keep fucking walking listen eventually the person is just gonna let go of ur hand my man

he asks takane to live with him forever because of how terrifying the good ending is and in his stupid personal narrative she is also still struggling so win win!!! THE ROMANTIC ASPECT OF IT comes with ayano&kano being part of shintaro's love life and the 2 people who he's been driving himself crazy about and is using takane to distract himself. so he puts two and two together and is like well wouldn't it make sense?? as icky as it is??? to be with takane??? because he is stupid and i find this extremely comical. i dont know if he would actually fall in love with her i think it's rather that he convinces himself he is because it makes sense on paper to him. he probably writes down all these conjectures and nodding like well of course it makes sense. like all the people he knows are parts of a math problem or some shit LMAO

in this math haruka's (old) insecurities of takane choosing shintaro over him are included too. shintaro's mistake comes in the fact haruka&takane's relationship does not pass by him and he has a very simplistic and self centered view of it. in reality haruka isn't as insecure if at all by then, and takane has been trying to deattach from the dynamic with shintaro for a while now and instead is attempting to be regular friends. like haruka and takane are married mode by then, having grown as people and as a couple but shintaro is so stuck in time and in need to give everyone a role that works for him that he fails to acknowledge that detail which is WHY he can approach her so easily. he's like I've done the people math this Makes Sense and its Fine it will all work out in my favor. he's nervous and pathetic of course but he's delusional first and foremost. i think the "hits on her" is rather shintaro&takane having a very fucked up talk that escalates and takane gets angry very badly lol. I Will Write This.

erm. that's how it happens. i think as he talks to takane and it becomes clearer and clearer that she is NOT in the same page he begins to despair abt it because his carefully calculated social plan is finally falling apart. and with it being a 2x1 because it makes his friendship with haruka fall apart too who through it ALLL from ayano to takane to kano has been telling him SHINTARO YOU ARE SELF DESTRUCTIVE PLEASE BE CAREFUL. ive also gone over that in an ask but lol yeah💖😀

for what ayano thinks of it, ayano and shintaro are completely taking a break from each other during all this but i dont think she'd be angry. she's completely focusing on herself (in a good way unlike shintaro) and working on her own baggage so she's like aw. poor shintaro. haruka&takane are probably a bit annoyed at the reaction bc he's a dickhead but ayano probably puts it more in perspective. takanes like yeah but it doesnt mean i cant be angry. ayanos like yeah ur absolutely right im still furious with him😊 <- while looking like that. but ayano's an empath💗 so while she is angry and sees everyone is angry she's still like, despite it all they all love shintaro and hope he will take these things to finally better himself. it's very frustrating that shintaro only understands when he drives u to a point of screaming and crying and then u feel bad for him even though HES the one who drove u to that point. he will be ok he needs the company of someone who won't keep giving things to him and give nothing in return. he needs the company of someone who will do to him the same he does to everybody. that said kano has been hanging out with him A LOT.

kano is there for shintaro they both crash and explode together but somehow pick themselves and each other backup. like it's a whole thing💗 i think ayano is on top of everything she's like it will be UGLY. but it needs to be done💗

shintaro also gets a therapist😀 sorry if i have a delusional design and hcs for shintaro's therapist like she's an unnamed oc. whatever.

ayano is busy with herself to worry about shintaro's mess. she still does but not before she gives herself the time and space she needs. a talk between them after certain time has passed would be so interesting and do so much good to both. but heh. sorry did all that answer ur question

[ilovefandoms102]

The Worst Vacation

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend surprises you on your vacation with your work friends...

Note: Inspired by my trip to AZ which was terrible so this is kind of based off real events that happened to me but dramatized for the story, and of course inserting my baby daddy Drew😛.

Click here to be apart of my taglist

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Life works in funny ways…

I never expected to find the love of my life a little over a year ago. Drew came unexpectedly into my life and we instantly had a connection. I know, I know...sounds extremely cliche, but it’s the truth.

Although our relationship was mostly long distance, we made it work. Sure it was really hard sometimes not having him around, but once I graduated from college we planned on moving in together. It might seem a bit fast since we have only been together a year, but I’m ready and I know Drew’s the one I want to spend forever with.

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I go on vacation with a girl I work with every year, Sally, since I started working with her two years ago. This year, we chose to go to Arizona. I was super excited because we had also planned on going to Las Vegas and Los Angeles.

Drew was extremely supportive and was happy that I was getting the opportunity to travel. I was hesitant with wanting to go at first because I had wanted to save up enough money to visit Drew while he was filming.

However, we both agreed his schedule was too hectic at the time and that we wouldn’t be able to properly spend time with each other. We were both disappointed, but still I was excited to go with my friend.

Or so I thought…

The trip was slowly turning into a disaster, everything that could have gone wrong did. My friend had brought along her niece, Caroline, which I didn’t mind despite not knowing her very well. It felt like the trip was mainly focused on them and I was just there to be the chauffeur.

I called Drew the first three nights of my stay crying because they were so awful to me. Drew being the sweet man he is offered to pay for a flight home, but I declined. I already had spent too much money to not finish out the trip.

“But sweetheart, if you’re not having a good time there’s no point in being there.” Drew pressed, his handsome face lighting up my phone screen.

“I know honey, but I’ve already spent a thousand dollars for this trip. I can’t just come home and leave them here.” I sighed, snuggling further into what would be my bed for another 10 dreadful days.

“I’ll give you the money back angel, I just don’t want you to be miserable when this is supposed to be a relaxing trip.” Drew insisted.

“I’m not taking your money Drew you spoil me enough.” I smiled, wishing more than anything he was lying here with me so I could kiss his cute face.

“I always want to spoil you baby, you mean the world to me.” he professed, grinning widely afterwards.

“I miss you so much,” I whispered, my heart aching to feel his strong arms around me.

“I miss you more,” he whispered back, pouting his lips slightly.

We talked until one of us fell asleep only to call back the next morning. My friends even had the nerve to comment on how much I talked to him.

“It’s a little obsessive...I mean you guys have been together for what a year?” Sally condescended, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Yeah? So what?” I questioned, the annoyance clear in my tone.

“I’m just saying it’s weird.” she scoffed, crossing her arms behind her head as we laid out in the sun by our pool.

“It’s weird for me to talk to my boyfriend?” I asked, making sure I was extra sarcastic.

“Every second of the day...yeah.” she chuckled, making my blood boil even higher.

I chose to be the bigger person however, and just kept to myself.

=====================================

The 5th day of my vacation, I hadn’t heard from Drew the whole day. It worried me, but I was also thinking about what Sally said. Maybe I was being clingy…

A knock on the door startled me from my thoughts. I thought maybe one of the girls had ordered food or something, so I opened the door and my mouth dropped open.

“Hi baby,” Drew greeted, my eyes watering from pure joy.

“Drew! What are you doing here?!” I asked excitedly, throwing myself in his arms.

“I came to see my baby,” he mumbled into my cheek, placing a gentle kiss on the red skin from being in the sun.

“Are you actually fucking kidding me?!” Sally exclaimed from behind us.

“Well nice to meet you too.” Drew mumbled sarcastically while letting go of me but not completely.

“Chill Sally, he’s just here a few days.” I huffed, rolling my eyes as I turned to face her.

“This is supposed to be OUR vacation!” She reiterated, throwing her arms out.

“It still is our vacation,” I emphasized.

“Not when you’ll be all over your boyfriend!” she shouted.

“I barely get to see him as it is Sal, you know that.” I said softly, trying to gain an empathy pass so she would just leave me alone.

“Whatever,” she sighed, clearly irritated as she stomped off.

I paid her no mind since she threw fits all the time like this. I pulled Drew to the room I was staying in, slamming the door shut. Drew threw his stuff by mine, then smirked at me and tackled me on the bed. I let out a little squeal, beaming up at the handsome man that I got to call mine.

“I’m so happy now,” I confessed, biting down on my lip to try and keep my tears in.

“Me too my love,” Drew whispered, sealing our lips for the first real kiss we had shared in a long time.

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Today was the day we were taking a drive to Las Vegas, which I was very very excited for. It was a nice change to wake up to soft kisses instead of Sally barging in here and demanding I wake up.

“Good morning beautiful,” Drew murmured in his deep morning voice, his kisses continuing their loving assault.

“This is a very nice wake up,” I giggled, snuggling further into him.

Drew hummed in agreement against the skin of my neck, his slight stubble tickling the delicate area. His large hands felt up the curve of my hips, taking my(his) shirt with them.

Drew had always claimed since we started dating that he was obsessed with the wide curves that I hated more than anything. He even said he loved how thick my thighs were, which I never thought in a million years I’d hear come from a man’s mouth.

“I love you, my girl. ” he whispered, my heart fluttering in my chest.

“I love you, my man.” I whispered back.

Our moment was rudely interrupted when Sally banged on the door saying we needed to hurry up. I couldn’t control my eyes from rolling in annoyance as Drew and I untangled from each other. We got ready quickly before making our way to the car to start the four hour trip.

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The drive was smooth sailing, Drew and I taking turns driving while Sally pouted about having to sit in the back. My hand clenched Drew’s tightly at her sly comments. Luckily, Drew wasn’t having it with her since he knew I wouldn't say anything.

“So this is the guy you’ve been obsessing over for the past year?” she asked snootily, knowing it would irritate me.

“I think it’s more like I’m obsessed with her.” Drew spoke up, squeezing my hand before smiling at me.

“Really? She never shuts up about you.” Sally retorted, raising a challenging brow at him.

“Well, I’m glad because I’m the same way with my friends, they love her.” Drew chuckled, but I could tell he was just as irritated as I was.

We stopped to get gas thankfully or otherwise I would have exploded. I stomped inside to the restrooms, slamming the stall door shut.

I got in the drivers side after I came out, Drew waiting by the door to open it for me. I smiled small at him, getting on my tipey toes to kiss him quickly before getting in.

We finally had made it, but things were not looking good. I had accidentally ended up in the old part of Vegas instead of the main strip, and Sally blew up on me.

“How can you be so fucking stupid is it really that hard to type shit in on a map?!” she screeched.

“It’s not that big of a deal, we're not far,” Caroline commented, annoyed with her aunt's attitude.

“God this is a fucking disaster I don’t even want to be here anymore!” she shouted, my hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Drew sat in silence, not sure what to do to diffuse the tension.

“God will you just shut up! I don’t know where every fucking place is in the world! This is my first time here just as it is yours, now just shut the hell up and let me concentrate!” I finally snapped, angrily typing on my phone to figure out where we needed to be.

I found where Caesar’s Palace was located, and they just so happened to have free parking as well. I slammed the gas and took us there. Drew and I got out of the car, but Sally and Caroline didn’t budge.

A few minutes later, Caroline storms out of the car slamming the door as hard as she could. She rushed past Drew and I, heading towards the exit.

“I’m sorry y/n, I hate that she treats you like that.” Caroline spoke up once we exited the parking garage.

“I’m used to it, she talks to me like that at work too.” I confessed, Drew whipping his head towards me.

“Y-You never told me that…” he murmured, looking down at me with an almost hurt expression.

I shook my head at him, signaling now was not the time.

=====================================

Sally threw her tantrum, then met us in the Bellagio. We sort of made up, but I did it merely so the rest of the day wasn’t awkward. Drew was quiet, probably still a bit upset with me.

We toured the hotel, the decorative flowers and artistry truly breathtaking. We ended up in front of Hell’s Kitchen where we would be eating later tonight. Drew and I took some pictures together to post on our stories while Sally and Caroline walked towards Caesar’s Palace.

“I wish you’d let me say something,” Drew blurted, sitting on one of the steps with me standing between his legs.

“No Drew, it will just make things worse.” I sighed, leaning into him.

“She’s so mean to you my love, I don’t like it.” he stated, his arms coming around me.

“I’ll be ok baby,” I mumbled, playing with his hair while smiling down at him.

“How about...you and I sneak away.” Drew suggested, tapping his fingers on my hips.

“Then they’d really be pissed,” I chuckled.

“We can just say we got lost.” he shrugged.

“Why do I feel like you’re up to something Starkey?” I questioned, raising my brow at him.

“I may or may not have booked us a room for today.” he grinned slyly, suddenly pulling me tight against him.

“To cuddle?” I teased, smirking as I ran my hands up his chest to the hairs at the back of his neck.

“Well yes...but also to fuck.” Drew said bluntly, smiling as I gasped at him.

“Joseph Starkey!” I exclaimed, giggling as my cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

“Baby come on it’s been sooooo long, my balls are aching.” he whined, cupping his hand over his manhood.

“Awwww are they? My poor baby boy.” I pouted, rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs.

He nodded, his lips pouting out as well. I couldn’t help the smile widening on my face, his cute pout making my insides melt.

“Let’s go then Drewbear,” I giggled, pulling his arms to stand up.

=====================================

We quickly checked in, rushing up to the room. I didn’t have time to appreciate the beauty of the room, Drew immediately spinning me around and lifting me into his arms. Drew laid us down on the bed, my phone rang out, no doubt one of the girls calling.

“Drew, I-I should get that.” I panted, his kisses moving down my neck. I felt his hand snake down my body, reaching into my pocket to take out my phone.

“They’ll be fine without us,” Drew smirked, lifting up and silencing my phone.

“Drew I should at least text the-” I started, but stopped talking when Drew took his shirt off.

“Sorry baby, were you saying something?” he asked rhetorically, smirking at my staring eyes. I shook my head, my eyes traveling down his toned form.

Drew stared down at me, his gaze sending chills down my spine. His hands traveled from my knees, down my thighs, up until they reached the bottom of my shirt. His eyes flickered to mine, and I nodded my head. Drew’s hands went under my shirt, my breath hitching in my throat.

I lifted my hands, sitting up a little so Drew could take my shirt off. He tossed it to the ground with his, while he did that, I unhooked my bra and threw it in the same direction before laying back down. Drew’s hands ventured towards my breasts as his lips explored the skin of my collarbones, lightly nipping at the area. I couldn’t contain the moan that escaped when Drew lightly rolled my nipples between his fingers,

“Fuck,” I whispered, my nails lightly digging into his scalp as I tugged on his hair.

Drew wasted no time in getting to where he really wants. He shoved off both our pants and underwear, situating me just how he likes before he buried his face in me. His tongue worked wonders, licking and sucking on each spot that made me tick.

“Oh my, baby please don’t stop.” I begged, my back arching slightly off the bed as my legs started enclosing towards his head. Drew lifted his head momentarily to stick two of his fingers in gently, my eyes rolled to the back of my head.

“My girl has such a pretty pussy.” he commented, his breath ghosting over where his tongue had just been.

I moaned loudly at his praise, gripping the sheets between my fingers as I felt my orgasm just in reach. Drew smiled as his mouth went back to work, his fingers increasing their pace as well. I could feel the band about to snap, my legs shaking the closer I got. With just the slight curl of his fingers, the flick of his tongue, and I was done for.

“I’m-” I gasped, not finishing my sentence as my orgasm hit me like a freight train.

“Mmmmm fuck yes baby,” Drew groaned, working me through it as he watched the cum drip from his fingers and onto the bed sheets.

Drew took his fingers from me, sliding them in his mouth to suck them clean. My stomach fluttered watching him, it was the hottest thing I had ever seen him do. He then grabbed my hips and flipped us over so I was on top, my head spinning a bit from the quickness of his movements.

“My turn princess,” Drew smiled, kissing my lips hotly before lying back down.

I smirked down at him, kissing my way down his body. I got to his vline, leaving my mark down it until I got to his dick. I licked from his balls to the tip, squealing lightly when his hand was suddenly in my hair. His chest was moving at a rapid pace, his eyes burning into mine as I took him in my mouth.

“I missed your mouth so much my love, fuck it’s so good.” he moaned, throwing his head back.

I moved my head up and down, using my hands to meet my mouth with what I couldn’t fit in my mouth. His grip on my hair tightened, pushing my head slightly. I gagged once I got to the base, taking a deep breath as my eyes watered.

“I’m gonna cum,” Drew panted, thrusting his hips into my mouth as I sucked harder. I pulled all the way up, sucking on his tip and flicking my tongue as fast as I could. He moaned as he came, spurting his seed into my mouth.

“Let me see, did you swallow it all my good girl?” Drew asked, pulling my hair so my mouth was removed from him.

“Mhm,” I hummed as I showed him my tongue that was clean.

Drew smiled at me, moving his hold to either side of my face and smashing my mouth to his. I held his wrists, moaning softly into his mouth as I shuffled closer.

“Come on beautiful, I want to see you on top.” Drew whispered, helping me straddle his waist and inserting himself inside me.

“Oh my god, Drew.” I groaned, digging my nails into his shoulders.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good.” Drew grinned, helping me move on top of him.

I rolled my hips into his, the tip of his cock hitting my gspot which had me a moaning mess. Drew slid a hand down so his thumb rubbed against my clit, a high pitched whine flying from my lips as I moved faster.

“I could live in your pussy,” Drew moaned, his thumb pressing harder.

“Drew,” I pleaded, throwing my head back before coming back to stare into his beautiful blue eyes.

“Would you like that baby? To sit on my cock all day?” he growled, thrusting his hips upwards to meet mine as I came down.

“Yes, I would love it.” I whimpered.

“I can feel how close you are my love, cum with me.” he demanded, but I was already there before he finished his sentence.

“F-uck baby,” I squeaked, my body going to cloud nine as I shook on top of him.

Drew came seconds later, burying himself inside of me. I laid my head on his shoulder, ran out of energy to keep myself upwards.Drew held me to him, laying back on the bed as we calmed down.

“Ok?” he asked.

“Amazing,” I answered.

=====================================

After we met up with Sally and Caroline, explaining how ‘lost’ we were, we ate dinner at Hell’s Kitchen. It was amazing, but definitely not worth the price. We walked around a few more shops in Caesar’s Palace, actually getting lost and taking a while to find the way out.

Once we did, we came across a group of men walking by…

“Damn she thicc,” one commented.

“Ooooh she got a nice one, hello!” another yelled.

Drew turned around to say something, but I yanked his hand to keep walking.

“Do not,” I hissed.

Drew instead to make it clear I was taken, placed his hand directly on my ass.

“Drew! We’re in public!” I whisper yelled, but he made no move to remove his hand.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he shrugged.

“Hey baby! Why don’t you leave your pretty boy to be with a man for a night!” someone else called, Drew’s eyes narrowing.

I was suddenly airborne, Drew bending down and lifting me into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist, surprised to say the least.

“Drew! Put me down!” I yelped, holding on to his shoulders.

“Apparently, these boys need to know you’re taken.” Drew snapped, tightening his grip on me.

“Seriously babe, you’re gonna hurt your back.” I mumbled.

“Didn’t you say your feet were hurting babydoll?” he questioned.

“Yes, but Drew-” I started.

“You’re light as a feather my love, I could carry you all day.” he spoke softly, kissing my nose before coming to a stop in front of the water show between Caesar’s Palace and the Bellagio. He sat me on the railing, standing between my legs with his hands placed on my hips. I kissed his cheek, smiling at how sweet and protective this man of mine was.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you baby,” he whispered back, sealing the deal with a soft kiss as the water show ended.

=====================================

Taglist:

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[jae-canikeepyou]

| kismet | j.jh | part one

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 10k+ welps

summary: his parents sends him for a month long vacation to the country side to meet his other half, which so happens to be you. and alternatively, your beloveds asks of you to be in your best behaviour while he’s around. disliking how things turn out, you both come up with a pact with each other before your two families gathers together for christmas eve dinner.

genre: arranged marriage + bad 1st impressions

a/n: happy new year ✨ and you know what that means? *wink wink* new layout for my oneshots hihi! ok you guys this took soooooo long to write ;-; i wasn’t satisfied with the first draft so i had to reboot everything! and i mean everything!! :3 so i had this specific genre in mind for a long time and i’m glad that someone requested at the same time while i was in the progress of writing it~ i should’ve posted this on christmas day but i was spending time with my family :D hope you understand hihihi anyway i’ll stop this here so you can enjoy reading! ~j

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| part two | part three (final) |

jaehyun never reacted so quickly in his entire life, simultaneously spitting out the drink he consumed and eyes growing at the news his parents suddenly brought up. his neck ache at sudden twist. “what did you say?” he wiped the drips of coffee at the corners of his lips. his breathing intensified the more the silence passed.

mr. and mrs. jeong playfully sighed & exchanged looks as their son shouldn’t be this surprised regarding the topic. they have discussed about this when he turned eighteen. now twenty-three, he shouldn’t be so surprised or over-reactive about it either. 

“you heard your father,” mrs. jeong chewed her meal elegantly, yet giggles were still heard through closed lips. “you’re meeting her next week.”

he squinted with plenty of doubts filling his head, he was sure that there was still a year left. and to him that also meant he has exactly a year to convince his parents to call off the marriage he never asked for, let alone planned it. he still has a lot- correction, have yet to achieve in his mid-twenties and having a wife now would be slightly cutting his privacy short. 

in other words, the path to leisure he wished for after years of academics would divert to spending a life planned out for him. he had a diary and planner, and 

they were organised and well-thought out. but he had enough of his parents writing out his future for him, why couldn’t he write his own love story?

jaehyun was on his second last year of veterinary medicine, having some of the weight and pressure of academics lifted off his shoulders. of course he knew he still has to study, he just felt a little relaxed knowing that he would soon practice his dream career.

never had he expected that time flew and was going to meet his fiancé soon. 

his phone blinked with along with a message from his friends— mark and johnny. he briefly looked at the wallpaper of his long-time girlfriend of four years; she was the one who was on his mind. “nononono, i can’t get married now.” jaehyun’s panicking voice echoed the dining area, shoving the phone into his pockets.

mr. jeong raised a brow, placing his cup of coffee on the glass table. “relax, you’re not putting a ring on her finger yet.”

“‘yet’?!” the dimples on his face deepened as his cheeks bubbled. “mom, dad, i haven’t even met her!”

“hm? that’s why you’re spending the whole month at the countryside!” mrs. jeong exclaimed excitingly, and to jaehyun it seemed she was enjoying herself as if she were the one going there too.

“a month?! what am i going to do over there?!” 

“isn’t this great? we finally get to see you outdoors instead of a laptop and report papers! you need a break honey.” his mother clasped palms.

“ugh i can manage my time—”

“once you start working i’m pretty sure you won’t have the time to, jaehyun.”

since the love topic was brought up, his parents started to dig out their memories during their dating years. jaehyun groaned and massaged his temples, feeling uncomfortable with all the love stories he already heard or been told about. “did you forget that i have a girlfriend?” mumbling, he let out a deep, long sigh hoping they would hear him. and that failed miserably. his parents were in their own world. 

he shook his leg underneath the table and grew impatient with the duration of their conversation. “please, i’m begging you. i’ll get married in my own time and pace. sue and i are pretty much going to settle once we graduate-”

a certain ringtone perked his ears and his hands quickly pat his pockets to search his phone. he let out a sigh of relief, that his girlfriend psychologically read his mind and knew how much he wanted to get out of the dinner table, not to mention his parents’ overly attachment to one another. 

“sue you called! i was wondering if you want to hang out for a while.” his voice was high in spirits. but word has it when it reached its high, it would plummet to the ground shortly after. “hey, what’s wrong?” 

on the other line, just a call away from his girlfriend, was her held-in sob and whimper. “where are you right now? i’m coming to get you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

jaehyun’s limbs shook in anger and slammed his fists onto the stirring wheel so hard that this time he promised himself he would move on. last week, she didn’t just break up with him— that was a call for farewell, something kept well hidden from him and all this time he didn’t know she felt the way she did for the years they’ve spent together. 

for a minute he wished this was all a dream, that conscious world would wake his slumber mind. it wasn’t. the reality pretty much awoke him and kept him up all night. he blinked several times, her words still numbing his hearing, wishing it was a lie... but he heard her loud and clear that night. 

“...you’ll always have a place in my heart.. but i’m really sorry..”

he grew speechless though his heart had millions of questions. the windows of his lips sealed closed no matter how much he wanted them to be answered. opposite from where he was at, he stared at the porch of her house, waiting for a silhouette to appear before him. instead a luxurious car pulled over and an unfamiliar man took his coat off to wrap around sue. that action didn’t hurt jaehyun, but it was sue’s smile of comfort that triggered his pain more. seemed like she knew this man given that she let him into her house, like nothing heartbreaking happened before this. 

the door closed and jaehyun’s teary eyes never left her residence until loud slams of swinging car doors opened on both sides of the passenger’s seats. “tsk.” he hissed and quickly rubbed the tears meaning to fall. him being seen crying would really make him a target for his friends, for not moving on. couldn’t risk being the attention more than he already was.

“goodness mark it’s not like we’re on vacation that you have to pack almost everything,” johnny threw one of mark’s duffle bags at the boy, earning a so-what kind of look from him. “we’ll only bring jae to the y/l/n’s then leave afterwards—”

screw this, jaehyun thought. by now he shouldn’t look too swollen to his friends. but screw mark for renting and living across from his ex’s house. 

“save your explanation john.” jaehyun growled and started the engine, fastening his while seatbelt the two continued their bickers. more of it was mark’s shallowness that pissed johnny.

“yeah, save your explanation john- ow!” mark gave the tall lad a death-gazing glare at the pain that stayed on his skin.

johnny leaned forwards, tapping the dimpled boy on the shoulder. “dude, you changed your mind?”

jaehyun scoffed, resting his left arm onto the window’s edge as he drove. “mom said i should be accompanied. i didn’t want you both to come but she’s so insisting it’s getting into my nerves.” 

“actually mrs. jeong said you might need us after your sudden breakup,” mark pressed the button. the window rolled up and down whereas him and johnny exchanged looks to try to liven up the mood in the car. “what are friends for, hm?”

“o-oh yeah. you’ll need us.. as in.. ‘sue’pport.” he nodded with a fake sob. soon mark bursted out in giggles and joined the wagon. 

“‘cause you lost your ‘sue’weetheart.” “she’s making you ‘sue’per emotional.” “we were ‘sue’prised she dumped you.” “but as your brothers, we ‘sue’wear we’ll be here—”

“ugh! i don’t know why mom suggested you to come but your side comments really aren’t helping at all—” jaehyun rolled his eyes regretting instantly at the pain afterwards.

his friends found him hilarious. they were laughing so hard that jaehyun couldn’t continue or interrupt their exploding voices. “since when did you need help, mr. leave-me-alone?” johnny took a huge leap from his seat to be beside the offended boy. “for all i know you’re the type who wants everything perfect, in control and planned.”

“nah dude, right now..” mark zipped his bag. “he needs help with love issues.”

“this has nothing to do with my love! and for the record, about the y/f/n’s? it’s arranged!” he lowered his cap and slid back slightly against the seat while the car was on idle. “do i need to spell it out for you?”

“that can change dude,” johnny slurped on his giant soda takeaway. jaehyun battered his eyes but was careful enough to not leave his sight off of the road. “who knows this fiancé of yours could meet your expectations. maybe more than sue could ever do.”

jaehyun’s mind clouded and still had the effects from the breakup. still so fresh. he didn’t want to believe it in fact happened; that it was all true. he was sure sue was the one for him. hearing his pals say it word per word only had it finally sunk in— she dumped him.

it terrified him in ways he couldn’t imagine, haunted him countless of nights because he failed her. he even bragged to his parents that he would marry her and slip a ring on her finger. thinking about it, how stupid was he to hold onto that hope?

he looked like an idiot, felt like one and his friends probably viewed the same. they said his fiancé could outstand sue? she was the perfect package! what more could he get?

he had her.

honks of the vehicles behind led jaehyun’s eyes trailing to the stoplight that emitted green. he pulled over and johnny knew he had to take his place. 

“here, let me drive. you’re not fit for driving. now, just be comfy back there, okay?”

—

hours later violent jolts of the car hit jaehyun’s cheek, regaining consciousness from his slumber just to witness the beautiful sunrise peeking from the horizon. he sat up, his posture trying to straighten to denumb nerves that held long during his sleep.

his playlist blasted the speakers. johnny had his legs on the dashboard and hummed with the music. mark was still sleeping peacefully like he hadn’t had a care in the world other than his precious bag of unfinished chips in his hands. 

he groaned at the discomfort of pulled muscles and the sudden break to the countryside. if johnny needed an hour intervals for the drive he could’ve said so, right? but now they were at the open road, greenery and fields merging together in one land. 

“what time is it? where are we and are we there yet? i’ll drive if what you do delays the journey.” jaehyun gestured him to move aside. “johnny, stop eating.” it was quarter to two.

“wha-? i’m hungry. hey, you’re the one who didn’t want to come and yet you’re rushing to get to the y/l/n’s?” johnny unwrapped his second burrito. “besides, we’re only five minutes away—”

“tsk ‘cause i need to piss real bad.” jaehyun was fidgety and panned the view before setting eyes on his friend. 

johnny felt a churn in his stomach as his cheeks bubbled. “oh gross! i’m eating dude! if you’re gonna piss then do it outside?!”

jaehyun shoved the burrito into johnny’s mouth to not speak anymore. “rather hold it in than for you to puke in my car!” he held his strength while johnny fought his way to breathe properly. “i won’t piss outside and there are cattles who feed on fields!”

“bruh stop lecturing me with your vet knowledge- ah!” johnny held his forehead from the sudden finger flicking.

“dude, it’s called common sense. now move aside!” he shooed the tall boy off the driver’s seat. jaehyun stepped on the gas, heading towards a small town entrance.

they finally reached a couple of stores & restaurants, surveying and asking its townsmen using your family name to locate your residence. maybe they would know which apartment or house you resided in. except that was the twist of their understanding. 

jaehyun and his boys were shocked to know how your family name plastered in posters and brand products displayed at open stores, but were more shocked to see the gazes from the people. 

a little over an hour, they managed to get hold of more information as they were told your house was ten minutes away from the town. jaehyun walked along the pavement to grab something to drink, only to be poked by a young man who was around the same age as they were.  

“hi.” he greeted the unfamiliar man. “i take it you’re looking for the y/l/n’s?”

he took a squint as he observed jaehyun from head to toe, circling around him. “uh-huh, you look like m’lady’s husband-to-be in the pictures.”

“e-excuse me?” jaehyun cleared his throat, seemingly unwilling to have this conversation going.

mark held his laugh per usual, it would take time to get used to jaehyun stumbling his words. 

because the engaged man really wasn’t ready at all. 

“yeap he’s the guy.” johnny popped the ‘p’ with a lollipop in his mouth. jaehyun rolled his eyes, taking the candy stick and tossing it away. he didn’t care about johnny’s scoffs.

the new young lad wore his motorcycle helmet. “sweet.” he prolonged the word. and that was when both mark and johnny lost it. they recalled the pun they entertain themselves with prior to arriving here.

“oh, i work with the town’s famous family,” he showed his i.d. wrapped around his neck. “you can follow me since i’m heading there too.” the three quickly twitched at his quick paced movement. “i’m kunhang by the way, but i’d rather be called hendery. it’s my professional name, it just sounds cooler.”

jaehyun furrowed his brows at the praise. “okay hendery, uhm famous? they’re big time?” he pointed at the posters holding your family name. “how so?”

hendery swung his face shield downwards. “you’ll see.”

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gallops of horses were drumming the entire farm. dust and dirt swirled with the wind in the air and it took a while for the boys to adjust their sights at the distance. hendery dropped a couple of spare boots for them to wear. jaehyun was in awe. horses were majestic animals and though he got to study them, he never seen such a number of them on the fields.

“oh goodness me our guest is here!”

they turned around to voice of a jolly lady, an apron on and folded cuffs from her clothing. “hello there! welcome! you must be jaehyun! my soon to be son-in-law!” she shook his hands and later pulled him for a hug. “oh you look just like your mother!”

“hi mrs. y/l/n. y-yeah, i get that a lot these days,” jaehyun scratched his head. “thanks for having us.” 

her eyes trailed at mark and johnny, and they too, were pulled in for a hug. “i see jaehyun brought along his handsome friends with him! do enjoy your stay here with us!” she caught a glimpse of a figure approaching the crowd. “c’mere baby and meet the boys!”

jaehyun looked over his shoulder, lips parting and exhaled a short breath. she seemed young, she has a pretty face but obviously still in high school. what the? oh g- i’m marrying you?

“pfft no ew. i’m not getting married to you. i’m only 17.” she let out a chuckle, almost sarcastic enough for jaehyun to explode.

crap i said it unconsciously.

your mother lightly slapped her arm. “marg, where’s your sister?” she asked. “i told her to specifically come at the barn 1600.”

“she took jet for a ride. ‘detour’ she said, but i guess she’s on her way here.” she replied and mark choked on his water bottle. marg rolled her eyes. “green minded ass-”

“language marg!” hendery flicked her forehead, the latter held the pain. “the rudeness. sorry, kiddo here is the family’s baby. you’ll see the eldest daughter soon- oh! right on time m’lady!” he waved his hands up high.

jaehyun didn’t know what pissed him off more; one was at himself for being starstruck and in awe at you after his breakup, and two? 

the beautiful black horse you were riding on didn’t seem to be halting. it was trotting at first. you were on its saddle. he squinted his eyes, were you smirking? unbelievable. he thought you were doing this on purpose. no, you were really going to run him over. 

he noticed a change in speed, trotting then galloping on dirt. the sounds of it matched with the beatings of his rising heart. jaehyun took a step back, then it became more than one, until he was worried that he would end up being chased. there were couple of gasps and reminders of voices. he fell on his bum with palms hitting the ground as he breathed heavily, eyes still on you.

the horse listened to your rein, it let out a loud neigh with its front legs heavenwards. your laugh merged with it. “whoa- hey, easy jet, easy.” you cooed the animal, soon removing your helmet and hair flowed like those in shampoo commercials. “i think he got the message.”

jaehyun sat there dumbfounded, his brows drew together. what message? you were centimetres from killing him- wait. he saw you turn cold and your smile disappearing.

bingo! he got it. he knew the reason why you did this. 

you were against the arranged marriage too.

johnny leaned into mark’s ear, who had his hands cupping his lower face. “bro, jet’s a horse so stop giggling and clean your mind.” 

“dude i’m not laughing at that. just look at jae. i’ve never seen him so helpless.” he cackled a laugh. 

once your feet were on the ground, he finally got a better look on you. you were wearing a light wooled grey sweater with denim blue jeans. your hair now on one side and boots stained with dried mud. you took off your gloves to put your hand out for a handshake, one rested around your helmet. “hi, i’m y/n.” you greeted with a smile, ensuring it was fake enough for jaehyun to notice. 

“quite of an entrance.” jaehyun dusted his jeans and groaned at the exerted strength as he stood. “jeong jaehyun. veterinary medicine student..” he was about to grab your hand until you shoved yours into the pockets of your jeans. 

“y/n!” your mom exclaimed with warning. “your manners-” she clamped her lips when you put up a hand, eyes darting at her later at him.

“alright, okay. look mr. i didn’t ask for your field of study and i don’t need to know or do anything with you.”

jaehyun crossed his arms, a fake smile plastered on his face. what an attitude. “apparently you will? because i’m here for the next thirty days.”

“is that so?” you hummed and jaehyun didn’t like how you singsonged.

he knew something was coming and sometimes he thought it was best to keep quiet instead of letting his annoyance towards you spark up. “good, that means you’re helping me out with everything i do here.” he heard you say. “and do things i tell you to.”

“what?” his eyebrows snapped, and for you it was quite entertaining to see this reaction from him. following the trail of your footsteps, jaehyun stomped on wet soil as he stood before you. “hey you can’t just order me around like i’m your staff!”

“of course i can, you’re in my property-” you gestured the land.

“no, it belongs to your parents.” the tone of his voice irked you. he was grinning too.

“i can do whatever i want and choose whenever to help. i’ll only listen orders from mr. and mrs. y/l/n if they want me to do work..” he trailed off, your mother waving at him with admiration— typical as she saw him like an long lost son. “..but i guess not. my mom did say i needed a break from studying too much and she’s totally right. i must be pardoned from labour.”

it was your turn to cross arms and give him a lop-sided smile. the audacity of this man. you felt like ripping all your hair out. “you think staying here would prevent you from doing labour, your highness? sitting on your throne all dignified and at peace? well guess what, just because you’re a guest that doesn’t mean you get to be treated differently-”

you heard him bubble out a forced snicker. what was it this time? “of course it’s different! i am the guy you’re betrothed to-”

“i won’t allow it.” your jaw tightened with lips in a hard line. “a person like you is not worth my time and definitely not someone i’d want to marry.”

he pursed his lips. “wow do people ever tell you how bad of a host you are? you just don’t go shoving assumptions into people’s faces for your own entertainment. we’re humans.”

“i’m only rude to you. and yeah, people are humans. but you’re the devil’s incarnate.” you pulled jet’s reins and led him to the stables in which jaehyun observed how you gave that same smirk from earlier. “see if you’ll enjoy your stay here, hubby.” 

jaehyun clenched his fists and was sure little crescent moons already indented his palms. he only wanted sue to call him that. yet that was useless, they broke up. your face remained in his head and anger filled him up, now boiling so much that he felt a little lightheaded arguing with someone like you. 

he wanted to yell but johnny and mark sandwiched him between them with hendery walking in front. “tsk it’s only the first day and i want to go home.” he scrunched his nose. 

hendery had his palms behind his head, lips jutting to hold his grin. “m’lady—” he corrected himself. “y/n’s not usually like that. it’s a first seeing her so cranky and hotheaded.”

“really? how is she usually like?” mark asked with curiosity. “she seems cool because she smiled at johnny and me before the tables.. y’know, turned.” he shrugged with implications towards jaehyun.

“not cranky and not hotheaded.” hendery opened the door to your house, showing them to the large living area. “a lil’ different today but i tell you, our y/n is a professional equestrian. she’s passionate with what she does and—”

“a horse rider?! passionate?!” jaehyun hissed as he took off his shoes and brown coat, kicking it slightly to the side and hung it on the wall respectively. “she almost killed me!”

johnny hit the back of jaehyun’s head and clicked his tongue. “snap out of it jae, you’re overreacting. we’re at your future in-law’s residence and i think it’s a bad idea to badmouth their daughter.” 

only a low groan escaped out of jaehyun as he refused to listen. “look, first impressions don’t always hit off a good start. but thinking how you both don’t have a say to this arranged marriage, your feelings towards each other are totally understandable.”

jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose as he took in his friend’s words. if what johnny said was true, was it right for him to begin holding grudge on you on the first day? you barely knew each other. clearly he knew you hated him, yet if his parents were here and saw the whole thing, they’d ask: why risk the chance of not trying? and again, he remembered he was told, people can change. 

—

throughout dinner, he got to know what your family business was and why it was well-known. he didn’t ask questions, they were just told to him like they were comfortable with it. they weren’t bragging either. perhaps it was due to the fact jaehyun would soon be part of this family that they told him the entire story. 

you didn’t show up during the hour and honestly it got jaehyun feeling so much relief since he wouldn’t have to deal with another useless argument. he disliked wasting time and preferred to do this schedule accordingly, so remembering it only made him rage inside. he was glad he wouldn’t have to deal with you tonight. 

except that relief was shortlived. you had to appear right when he thought of you.

great.

he tried to fix himself in his seat on the sofa by the fireplace, averting his gaze upon you while your mother continuously slapped you light on the arms. you probably finished your bath, given that you still have a towel wrapped around your head and a.. robe.

“y/n! have some courtesy! we have guests!” your mother warned as she gestured in front to cover you, apologising to the new boys. hendery immediately stepped in as well, his eyes shutting to a close and pushing you back to the bottom of the staircase. 

“but mom! i’m hungry and there might not have any cookies left if you keep giving it to them-” you were cut off with hendery’s pats.

he brushed his hair. sighing, he had to shoo you away because you were clearly attracting eyes, definitely not the decent kind. “i have a jar prepared for you m’lady so please.. get dressed!”

you quickly ran up as you were told, mumbling and complaining. jaehyun and his friends were definitely at a loss for words. because not only were you careless, you were oblivious too. 

mark scrunched his nose to start a conversation with jaehyun. “looks like she called you ‘hubby’ too quickly.” he closed his lips to contain his laugh. 

“pfft jae your ears really are honest huh?” johnny pointed at them as he held his chest, fistbumping mark for another win. 

he wasn’t going to tell them that he in fact did find you pretty, and the thing was, he shouldn’t be giving a reaction too soon. “it’s the spicy chocolate cookie!” jaehyun defended.

“huh, i didn’t bake any cookie with those flavour-” hendery pondered, but he stopped since he spotted jaehyun begging to help him here.

“you know that we know if you’re lying right?” the two squinted eyes, putting more pressure to the boy to admit what he felt when he saw you earlier. “bet ya felt something.”

afraid that your family could hear them, jaehyun grabbed their shoulders to huddle them in close. he cleared his throat to catch their attention, yet his friends continued their giggles. “i swear if you both embarrass me in front of the y/f/n’s, consider the days with your precious.. phones.”

“ah c’mon dude. don’t do that. we bought our i12’s together-” mark whined.

“then at least help me out here guys. i have a reputation to hold-” 

“oh for being her hubby?” johnny gave a playful grin and soon was replaced with a nervous smile. “okay i’ll zip it.”

he heard your mother facetiming his mom, voices loud enough for him to know that there would be a huge gathering at christmas eve dinner. great, another one i have to deal with.

jaehyun put down his beanie and crossed his arms to snooze for a bit. he had too much going on in his head the whole day that maybe sleeping it off would let him calm down from all feelings he felt tonight. on the sofa, the weight beside him lowered, the scent of freshly baked cookies along with lavender perfume got him peeking under his beanie. 

it was you, who looked like a squirrel happily munching away with your jar of cookies whilst eyes glued to the television.

he smiled a little to himself. so you can have this cute side-

fragments of sue’s face appeared in his mind. right. he was supposed to be heartbroken. he still was. a week into the breakup had remains to his heart. bothered with sue’s ultimatum and your annoying munches, he grabbed your wrists and out at the veranda.

it pissed him because it seemed like he was the only one who cared about both of your futures or actually would do something to change your families’ minds, where as you were carefree with your cookies. “hey!” you held the jar tight in your arms as you quickly slid your feet into your slippers. “rude! i’m eating!”

the rest of the people in the dining and kitchen area grew voices of woohoo’s, jaehyun’s pupils flared at their cheers. “just come with me for a second!” he hissed, turning the knob and closing the door.

“seriously jaehyun you can’t just ruin my happy time! what do you want-”

he looked in between the curtains from the outside, where he could faintly hear his friends talking the embarrassing things about him— especially how he felt for this arrange marriage. “aren’t you pressured or angry at the situation our parents have put us into?” he leaned against a column. “even my friends are joining the wagon.”

you cackled whilst scrolling your phone. “here i thought you only cared about animals, dr. jeong.” hearing how jaehyun scoffed at your comment, you shoved your device in your pockets. “and yes of course i’m mad! what they decided is so against my will.”

jaehyun stared at you and surprised that he actually felt exactly the same. “really? then let’s make a pact. sounds good?” he offered with arms folded while you still were occupied with your phone. “well?”

“why would i listen to you? as far as i know, we already clashed and hate each other.” you rolled your eyes. “what makes you think i’ll agree?”

he sighed. “y/n, i know you don’t want this, i don’t too. at least there’s something we have in common. i’m just thinking that we have to show them we’re not meant to be together. we both have lives we want to live without the other.”

there was a change in his voice. you could tell he was serious and trying to suggest something he’d want you to agree on. “fine, what’s the pact?” you gave an uninterested tone. probably a bad idea, you thought.

“like you said, ‘clash and hate each other’. we have exactly twenty four days to convince them that you, me, us?” he pointed at his chest then yours. “is impossible. twenty four days, it’s until the night of christmas eve.”

actually that’s not bad at all. “hm, that’s easy since i can’t stand you.” you said, now standing up to face him. “even better if we can do this in less than 24.”

“cool, we have to make our fights as natural as possible. no signals or heads-up. full-on make me angry and i’ll do the same. the more we argue the more they’ll believe there’ll never be an ‘us’.” his voice a bit lively than before. “i want my buds to be fooled into this too. just be realistic and- nghf!”

you shoved a huge cookie into his mouth. “tsk, you’re noisy. i get you so shut up. i agreed with the pact, but i have conditions, okay?”

jaehyun nodded as he chewed angrily with his eyes closed, though the cookies’ taste might’ve simmered down his temper towards you. “ha, then i have conditions too-”

“see you in the morning.” he heard you say as the door slammed with the attached bell ringing his ears. 

now that was one of his conditions; no interrupting while he talks. he sighed seeing you head up the stairs. he sighed. “ugh, i can never marry a girl like her.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

stretching as high as you can, the muscles loosened in every part of your body from riding yesterday. the sun shone its brightest despite the cold weather. you remembered the pact and you knew you would not let a day pass without bothering him. somehow his existence annoyed you to the bone, not even words were enough to explain how you felt. 

at the farthest point your peripheral could reach, you spotted jaehyun peacefully— and actually enjoying— the hammock whilst faintly you heard mark and johnny debating which pronunciation was the correct one. fixing your boots as you walked towards them, the two scurried off to the side, noticing the stomps of your feet getting closer. 

“get up.” you wriggled the hammock, causing it to be lop-sided. 

jaehyun managed to balance himself from the swings. “what the-” his voice hitched. “you’re ruining my relax time!”

you pretended to ponder as you looked up to the sky. “hm, sounds awfully familiar, doesn’t it?” referring to his sudden action towards you the night prior.

“seriously y/n what do you want? i’m in no mood to do work today and i clearly told you last night-” jaehyun fixed his eyes onto your finger that silenced his lips.

jaehyun raised a brow and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? he thought. “condition number one.” you started, bringing your voice down. “starting today you’ll do the work for me and with me. considering you’re taking veterinary science, i’m guessing you know your ways through equine husbandry. so in the coming days you can check the horses’ health while i practice my rounds.”

ah, so that’s what this was about. “uh-huh, but my condition number one is you shouldn’t make me do labour unless you really need it.” jaehyun got off the hammock, chugging his glass of water like it’s one-shot. “it’s the first light, y/n. my service starts in the afternoon.”

“i see. you’re not a morning person.” you checked your nails.

“i so am! but it’s my month long vacation. let me enjoy this before i experience exploitation from you.” he forced a smile that made you want to push him off the veranda.

you walked down the steps and straight to the barn opposite from your house. “it’s either exploitation today or exploitation for the whole month.” you singsonged while you twirled in your stance. hearing him growl meant your tactic worked. “i’ll let you experience the beauty of country side, city boy.”

jaehyun’s brows narrowed as he followed you anyway, later looking back at his friends who were stifling a laugh. “did you just compare me to feces first thing in the morning?”

“did you just boggle up my brain with scientific terms?” you hid a giggle when you heard his friends finally bursting out and losing it. because they too, experienced jaehyun’s sudden blabber of uncommon usage of words, especially conversational-wise. “i made a pun but it seems like you acknowledge the nickname.”

“i did not!” jaehyun pressed his temples. “i may have misheard you but i didn’t acknowledge it! you’re too assuming!”

“mhm sure.. but you are stepping on one though.” you whistled and gestured mark and johnny to the stables.

jaehyun grumbled as he checked the soles of his shoes. indeed he stepped on it and licked his lips in annoyance that it’d be hard to clean it off. the door opened and hendery’s morning face only turned sour at the unsightly view. he tossed another pair of spare boots for him to wear before they both headed to where you all were. 

hendery introduced the things they do here; feed the horses, fix their saddles  repair them if damaged. they were minor things since your family did hire people to do them. and since you and him were professionals in equine sports, he mentioned you both spend all days practicing. 

good, if it was you who toured him around the area, he wouldn’t think lasting a day with your intentions of ruining his mood. though it was part of the pact, it seemed like you enjoyed this a lot more than he expected. hendery brought him to places your family owned, land properties that expanded until the mountains. it’s no wonder you were free to roam around and unafraid of getting lost. 

you made him do a lot. and he was glad he was able to handle, thank heavens. however he didn’t feel much of a challenge from any of them, where you claimed they were ones he couldn’t do. jaehyun lost track of time, the sky was his only companion to tell the hours and probably lost count of the tasks too. all he could remember was the endless bickering, yells and frequent eye rolls. 

in all those, he still let you off the hook— first day of work and all, he has to be patient. and he wasn’t bothered with what you tasked him to do, until his friends stood behind you as you showed them the rest of the horses. 

after you told him to move the bundles of hay he thought was the last, you were currently trying to make mark pet the horses as they were bobbing their heads towards the young man while johnny recorded his reaction. 

“isn’t she all well now.” jaehyun rolled his eyes as he helped hendery lift the infinite bundles. “my friends get the leisure and i have to work?”

hendery laughed as he unbuttoned his collar. “she was told by her mom that you’ll be in her care since you both will get married eventually. plus mrs. y/f/n said it’s a way to get to know y/n too.” he explained, seeing you walk towards them with a hay cart, hands signalling your childhood friend to get some bundles from you. the final bundles were finally fed to the horses, and you skipped your feet to fetch jaehyun.

jaehyun knew you had intentions to make fun of him because the way you walked really pissed him off. so he decided to have his fun too. ”are you that weak you’re unable to carry a small patch? guess my hourly pay needs an increase.” he low-key flexed his muscles. truthfully speaking it was a sight to look at, too bad his attitude didn’t match it.

you rested on one leg while you look at him. he was testing the waters with you, smile slowly resurfacing as you gave even the slightest reaction towards him. oh it’s on. he annoyed you yesterday and would be a lot more in the next coming days. jaehyun leaned forwards that he was towering over you. his body made you feel small but that didn’t stop you from getting back at him.

“the only thing increasing for you is workload.” you hummed, putting back the cart into its place.

he glared at you as if you were dead meat. you ignored him. “i’ve had enough for today. muscles are sore.” hands in his pockets, jaehyun kicked the remains of hay off his shoes before he was stopped by you. “ugh you’re so annoying.” he clicked his tongue. 

“nope, you’re not done until i am. we have to find materials for christmas wreaths at my grandpa’s up north.” you pointed at the mountains as you took hendery’s hands and soon mounted on jet with him.

“oh and i’m supposed to walk there while you’re so relaxed miss bossy?” jaehyun shook his head in disbelief looking at the distance.

“uh yes?” you laughed to yourself. “i don’t think you’ve ever ridden a horse before, but if ever you did, it’s probably at a carnival.”

sudden outbursts of emotions evident on his face now. “was i born under a rock? of course i’ve ridden!” he took the reins given to him by hendery. “and it’s not a carousel!”

for a while he had a certain confidence, his soles stepping on the stirrup and dimples deepening with the strength he gave to put his right leg over. but once that was done and high up off the ground, his heart beat an army per second. cash, hendery’s horse gave loud neigh. jaehyun had done this before as a child and definitely felt like one now. he should be able to handle a 30-minute journey.

jaehyun heard you giggling, perhaps he knew how hideous he looked. despite hendery seated behind you, you led the way for the most part of the ride. you were surprised to see jaehyun have gotten the hang of it. it pissed you a lot because he was vlogging with his phone— sputtering out words to keep the diss battle going. johnny and mark hopped on the available bikes, cycling on your sides, and their laughter rather calmed you than annoy you. 

it pissed you a lot more because you’ve practically ran out of ideas to tell him in return. keeping quiet wasn’t your forte, you were a young woman with plenty of things to say, even more so to jaehyun. going through the woods, you signalled hendery to halt the horse for you and the rest of the boys followed you to gather the materials needed. 

“this shouldn’t be too long to take.” jaehyun looked at the trees towering meters above him, then straight to you who was shaking head in disbelief. “we’re just taking the materials at your grandfather’s and head back, right?”

“did i mention my granddad?” you balanced yourself on large wood log. the tone of your voice started to warm up with bickers you weren’t able to tell him. 

“you did!” jaehyun anticipated this and somehow he didn’t. “now lead the way to his place and we can get the hell out of here.” his eyes grew squints of disgust at his surroundings, as if he hadn’t been into the forest before. his friends went on ahead with hendery around the woods to look for what’s needed.

“nah, we’re picking acorns, pine cones, berries and other leaves by hand. his cottage is just around here but that doesn’t mean the materials are from him. let’s go, whiney.” 

“oh my g-” jaehyun pulled you on the arm and off you went towards him. “y/n i’ve had enough for today and i’m so tired of taking your orders- i’m physically tired of doing things your way and i can’t think straight-”

“pecans?” you said as his eyes crossed to see your palms full of the shelled nuts. “you’re hungry, aren’t you? that’s why you’re so cranky and agitate-y.” placing one but onto a flat rock, you smashed it strong enough for it to crack yet not totally destroying the inside. you popped one into your mouth and gave the most taunting grin jaehyun has seen from you all day. 

he was about to grab the rest of the nuts until you swung your arm that he wasn’t able to reach them. “y/n! give me some!” he yelled and the rest of your friends look at you both after hearing you laugh in the most evil manner.

“never!” you scurried off deeper into the woods. jaehyun rolled his eyes not at how fast you were, but due to how slow he actually was because of the amount of disgust he had.

he knew this would take all day and he didn’t know how long his patience can take for another three weeks with you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

jaehyun couldn’t describe in words with what he experienced since arriving. if he had to compare with school, it was similar to studying and cramming for hours non-stop. it gotten him mentally exhausted, physically too. but the only difference between being cooping up in his room and doing work outdoors was the continuous nagging from you. 

it was far from quiet. he could handle his mom’s high pitched yells. but you? anything that came from you or done by you made him want to plaster a duck tape on your lips. you were as annoying as a five year old child who looked for someone vulnerable to bully. unfortunately he became your prey because he was in your lands. and though there were times he was able to banter back, he always felt you still had the upper hand.

it was all sunny and good days out in the countryside and jaehyun found that fact the only bright side. he enjoyed it every single morning. yet sometimes good sunny mornings meets its bad, that is, when grey clouds destroyed the beauty of the sky. in this case, it was you. you were far from his dream girl— sue. she was elegant, poised and had a heart of gold. you were the complete opposite who’d rather be rogue and do things your way. other than completing ten christmas wreaths and feeding the horses or more farm work, he couldn’t remember what he did for the past eight days because all that entered his mind was the dictator you. 

but today he felt different, maybe things wouldn’t be as hard than last week. he felt good. he sat at the long dining table with all morning faces exposed. it was currently 7 a.m and your mom have already prepared breakfast. and per usual, you were the only one they waited for before they start the first meal. 

“marg, is your sister still asleep?” your mother put down a large casserole to warm up everyone’s stomach in winter. 

marg only shrugged because for one, she didn’t care, and two, she stated that it wouldn’t be her doing this since jaehyun was marrying you. “oh jaehyun. please do head upstairs to her room and awake y/n up.”

“and why do i have to do this?” jaehyun mumbled to himself and johnny nudged him on the arm. he groaned and got up, his stomps were heavy and unwilling. 

once he was in front of your door, he knocked twice loudly so he wouldn’t have to spend so much time to get you. there was a small tune playing in your room, like it was from a music box. the door was already opened. he peeped through the thin gap, seeing you still sleeping soundly. goodness’ sake, he thought, and entered the room since your mother was asking if he woken you up. 

your room was in fact, neat. all things were organised and arranged. if there was one thing he learned from you other than being an ass, was that you loved stuffed animals. not a hint of dolls or barbies or any toy displayed related to that spectrum. two lines of medals displayed and they all shone in gold. plaques had your names and young portraits of you with smiles of victory. hendery wasn’t lying when he said you were a professional. he wasn’t going to lie— you were impressive despite the little horns coming out of your head.

he stood next to your bed where you were all bundled in a huge blanket. he raised a brow, it was strange for you to have two thick blankets covering you. “hey y/n.”

no response. 

“y/n. wake up, your mom is calling for breakfast and you’re usually the first one seated at the table.” he wriggled your body with the butt of the umbrella and you didn’t budge.

“she baked croissants and aren’t they your favourite? dipped in chocolate ganache and sprinkles?” he tried sounding happy. note that, he tried.

this girl.. he bit the insides of his lips, spotting the markers in a cylinder container and took one to begin drawing on your face. his soft giggles filled your room and the strong scent of markers met your nostrils, waking you from your slumber. 

“what the he- jaehyun?!” you hissed at how close his face was to yours, failed to realising he was done drawing on your morning skin. “get away from me!”

everyone downstairs could hear the both of you, arguing like cats and dogs. each footstep might’ve covered the entire floor above them and the ceiling could give in. 

“you ruined my morning with your ugly face!” “what?! you’re more ugly, ugly!” “you entered my room?! you have no rights!” “breakfast’s ready and your mom asked me to!” “well my nose could’ve smelled mom’s food but i smelled your stinky breath instead!”

“whatever, i finished your share of croissants!” jaehyun quickly head down the staircase.

“you dare eat my food?!” you still had a blanket from head to toe as you followed him down. “no one takes my food!”

“your loss since you’re still in bed you lazy ass!” jaehyun sat beside johnny and continued his meal. “and you were snoring loud too-”

“i did not- agh!” you grumpily sat and immediately eyed the last croissant sitting at the center of the table. all eyes were on you with black ink scribbled on your face. 

there was an awkward silence then you felt jaehyun’s stare at the only food you wanted for breakfast. there was a back and forth battle of stares between you, him and the food. maybe it was the slow reflexes you have in mornings that jaehyun took the bread before you did. he stuck out a tongue as he deliciously ate half of it, chewing slowly just to let you imagine the flavours of sweet silky chocolate. you could feel yourself drooling and the cravings of your stomach rising up to your throat. every chew he did was a stab to your guilty-pleasure heart. 

jaehyun stopped and gave a smug grin. “you wanted this y/n?” his question sounding a song rather than an honest one. “all you have to do is beg.”

you gulped, rolling your eyes. “shut up!” you kicked his knee out of jealousy and savoured the soup instead. 

“ow!” he hissed through a laugh and looked at your mom. “mrs. y/f/n, i’d like to know the recipe for this. do you give lessons?” jaehyun licked the remains of chocolate around his lips, hopefully it was enough to cover up the violence you did under the table.

your mother giggled at his sweet talk. “why learn it from me when you have y/n to teach you?”

you choked on your soup and tear your gaze away from jaehyun to your mother, where she was already enjoying your shocked reaction. “oh give me a private lesson, bulldog terrier.” he propped his chin and mimicked clicks as if he was calling animal.

you quickly touched and rubbed your face to see the ink contaminate your fingers. the spoon reflected the dark circle around your right eye. “oh my g- you! this will be hard to remove!” the fork around your hand pointed directly at him. 

“y/n!” hendery put down your wrists as jaehyun laughed loud. you took the wet wipes marg gave you and whined a little whilst you stood by the mirror behind jaehyun.

“don’t be so bummed out honey.” your mom assured, giving a wink to jaehyun. “it’s a small prank. marg did it to you before.”

checking yourself for the last time at the mirror, you rolled your eyes. “i have enough patience for marg,” with one hand you cupped jaehyun’s lower face from the chin spreading to the cheeks, soon pinching hard on his dimples with a pointer finger and thumb. “but none for the human bread.”

“ow don’t touch me!” jaehyun swifted his head to look at you and he saw you flashed a smile like you were satisfied. 

“a human bread with molds. ew, i lost appetite so i’ll be out for a ride.” you stood up to grab your coat. “see ya ugly.”

“remember to you have to clean the barn house y/n!” your mom called out.

“yeah got that!”

johnny and mark bent their heads down and let their friends suffer from multiple dots on his faces. what made it funnier was that jaehyun munched happily on his meal, hadn’t gotten a single clue. he then eyed you when you passed the window and straight to the stables. “isn’t it too early for practice?” he drank his cup of hot chocolate. 

“she can ride all day. sometimes she doesn’t arrive home and the next morning you see her sleeping in the barn house.” marg tied her hair into a high bun. “the amount of dedication is there, except the passion she used to have isn’t really there anymore- hey!” she glared at hendery who gave her a warning look. 

what was that all about? jaehyun thought while his eyebrows met together and good thing it wasn’t obvious to your family. he was indeed curious, but he’d rather hear it from you than to look like a jerk who wanted to gossip about personal lives. the thing was, it’s you. though majority of the week was him suffering with workload, he liked to bicker with you until you gave up and had nothing to say. 

so far he recorded as 5-11 in terms of owning the other. the latter was his score and he was proud of it.

hendery’s phone vibrated and slid it to jaehyun’s place. jaehyun blinked to adjust his sight to the brightness of the phone. a sigh came out of his lips and the rest of them could tell it was another order from you. “ooh that doesn’t sound good.” mark slurped his soup. 

“it’s not.” jaehyun brushed his hair and hesitation slowly crept his body. “she asked me to clean the upper floor of the barn by the time she arrives.”

—

jaehyun massaged his wrists by twisting them. he looked at the barn house’ entrance because he noticed a figure approaching. you’ve had the best morning after jaehyun ruined it. as you rode, nothing beats the freshness of the cool wind. you love riding through the woods and grasslands. it sets you free from everything keeping you caged. your smile began to falter when you saw jaehyun who was not even halfway close to finishing. “you’re late. your mom had to apologise on your behalf because i’m doing the job for you.”

“ooh thanks! i’ll count on it!” you laid comfortably on a chair.

“hey!”

you leaned against the furniture, arms crossed where he was a floor above and standing at your 2 o’clock view. “dr. jeong it looks like you’re having a hard time. need help?” you stifled a laugh because he still has the ink marks you left on his face.

“on with the assumptions again, aren’t we?” he fixed his gloves and moved wooden planks from one place to another. 

“yeah you make yourself too easy of a target, jaehyun. and i thought you’re the type to not take things seriously.” you tied jet’s reins to a pole.

“you’re forgetting my condition number two, you can only badmouth me if the others are around. now get your flat butt up here and move the tool box aside so i can continue what i’m doing.” he grunted whilst lifting. 

dusting your pants, you were now standing a storey high. the sight of the height below you made you sick. jaehyun nudged your arm and you took the items blocking his way. you sighed and he noticed how fidgety you were. he put up a small smile. his entertainment from you didn’t end at the breakfast table. 

he scooted closer to you, pretending to bump into you with the pile of tall wooden planks in his arms. he heard you hiss, and that was the signal to begin. “oops didn’t see you there shorty.” there was a change in his voice, a more aggressive type of approach. 

“you’re doing that on purpose.” you checked the pained area of your forearm.

“what if i’m not? it could be an honest mistake.” he tilted his head away from the wood to see you.

a held-in soft disbelief laugh came out of your lips. “honesty doesn’t really blend in well with you.” 

jaehyun gasped with arched brows. “wow i’m very offended— you think this face..” he largely gestured himself. “would ever lie?”

“if you want to hear me saying you’re handsome.. it’s not happening.“ you took the rope to hang on a nail. 

“but you did say it.” he singsonged and you could push him off the loft but that could only happen in your head. 

“then that’s an honest mistake.” you flashed a forced smile at him. you carried the boxes stacked upon one another. “if you have a huge ego like that i bet you never dated. no girl would ever date you.” 

jaehyun fell silent, his mood to bash you suddenly changed. the shifts in his steps became heavier and as if he was putting his anger upon them. he didn’t like being reminded of sue, even if you unconsciously did so. “can’t you just keep quiet as you work? do you always have something to say? keep your damn mouth shut if you think all the fun you get is from belittling people.”

“okay sheesh sorry i didn’t know you have a heart for people too.” you removed your helmet to relieve the discomfort from it. 

as time passed— two hours to be exact, the more your guilt begin to seep in you. jaehyun never spoke after that. silence was like death at this point. not a hint of sniffs and sighs from him. did you go too far that he actually chose not to talk anymore? all you thought about was the pact he suggested. what now? anyone could appear any moment. 

this wasn’t like you at all. you hesitated to talk to him and to give the first move to bicker. you stood there staring at him piling boxes after boxes and sweeping the floor where dust accumulated like piles of sand. you bit your lips because screw this, you hated this atmosphere, you hated this silent treatment. “j-jaehyun?” you called out.

nothing. 

“hey-”

“hm? guilt eating you up now?” you froze at his voice as he chuckled. “it has, hasn’t it? look at your face!” he was laughing, his hands holding his ballooning stomach. “y/n you should’ve seen yourself!”

your gaze followed his hands that quickly took his phone placed at one corner. he was recording and your obliviousness blinded you. “oh you have no idea how much i wanted to laugh! my cheeks hurt so bad! hahaha!”

“you’re not using that to blackmail me!” you strided towards him.

he put his arm high as you struggled to reach it. “i might as well do that thanks for the idea!” faintly you heard his friends coming to check as to why their friend had the laughter of the century, only to find you both bickering again like this morning.

“delete that video jaehyun! i mean it!” “not until you agree to clean the loft!” “that’s like telling me to do everything!” “then that’s exactly what i’m telling you to do!”

johnny put up his phone to recording the struggling you and jaehyun enjoying his time to take advantage of his height. “dude i’ve never seen jaehyun this happy since sue broke up with him.”

“yeah his dimples are legit showing it’s scary me.” mark squinted at the two of you.

jaehyun swung his arms to avoid your attempted catches. he scrunched his nose and although that was undeniably cute, you couldn’t afford to feel humiliated for another two weeks. “jaehyun please delete it!”

“it’s not convincing enough you know?” “stop joking around we could fall!” you hissed. “fall?! then stop trying to get my phone!” “then put down your ridiculously long arm!” “yours are just too short!” “i swear— delete the footage!”

“you have to sound like you beg for it—” he cackled and with a few stretches you managed to reach his wrists as you lunged forwards. “oi stop!” that one last reach only made jaehyun lose his balance and fell backwards. 

and all you heard were yells of worry.

to say that you both gladly fell on soft pillows of hay was an understatement. at least that what it looked like to your friends. jaehyun was shocked, his arm felt numb. he took a good look at you and there you were laying on his arm with pale lips. “hey, you okay?” his hands were already out to help you. “y/n—”

“m’lady!” hendery rushed to you, causing jaehyun to flinch at the tone of his voice. he gently took your right arm, but you gritted your teeth and asked him to take the left. “painful?”

“not that serious.” you said, feeling the stares from jaehyun. “ew don’t look at me like that. i’m fine, really. let’s just call it a day.” you gave a small smile and he wasn’t buying it.

because jaehyun saw you clung onto hendery for dear life. 

[cherriesfineline]

MEET HALFWAY OUR NEEDS - one shot

a/n: hi! this is my first time ever posting one of my writings online (I'm about to shit myself but oh well). I literally wrote this so fast I'm impressed, but anyways I (kind of) proof read this -not really- just quickly read through it after I finished it. English isn't my first language (I'm so self conscious I'm probably gonna say that every time I post something) but besides that, I really hope you enjoy this <3 feedback is truly appreciated, it helps me improve!

-Joey

Pairing: Harry x Y/N

Warnings: detailed sexual content

Word count: 9.2k (of mostly smut??? sorry)

the one where Harry wants to get married but Y/N doesn't.

As you grow older, you start realizing life isn't as easy as it seemed when you were a kid. Not everyone gets lucky enough to have a job they're passionate about. Not everyone can satisfy all their necessities. In fact, you realize it's most people instead of "not everyone".  Friendships and relationships won't last you a lifetime (those promises of being there for each other forever now seem like genuine naiveness) if you don't put enough effort in them. When you are young you believe that being able to play for hours straight without getting bored is what true friendship is about. And maybe it is, during those years.  Adult relationships require a lot of time, and effort. And sometimes, sacrifice. Conversations have a different weight, and being able to trust someone with your most uneasy thoughts and experiences is hard. To find and to keep.  When it comes to love, you start realizing that the thrill and intensity of teen romance isn't what true love is about. It's not about getting into fights, hardcore jealousy and toxicity behaviors. It's about being able to just be there, with that someone. Being able to coexist in each other's worlds, share what you're passionate about without any fear or remorse, being able to communicate. To ask for help when needed. Now, that doesn't mean things can't get complicated.  For the past two months, Y/N and Harry's relationship has been balancing on a very, extremely, thin line.  After six years of being together, and three of those living together, being the happiest they've ever been, everything started to look different for Harry. He was ready to take a step Y/N wasn't.  Harry always knew he wanted to get married, have kids, move to a pretty house outside New York (it's been his favorite city ever since he visited when he was 12, then moving all the way across the globe from Manchester to attend Columbia University). And when he met Y/N, he knew she was the one he wanted all that with. But Y/N... she wasn't so sure that was the life she wanted. Having kids was a no at least until she was in her 30's. And even then, she knew she'd have to re consider if that's what she really wanted.  She loves kids, she has a couple nieces a nephew's (coming from a big family has it's perks) and she's a preschool teacher. She's good with kids, but she wasn't so sure she'd be a great mother. Not for a specific reason, but she really feels like that's the case. Taking care of someone else's kids versus your own is extremely different. Now... it gets even more complicated when it comes to marriage. She doesn't believe that a piece of paper kept in a legal's office will make any changes in their relationship. It will all stay the same, married or not, so she just doesn't think it's important, nor worth the money.  Harry, on the other hand, thinks marrying her will change everything in his life. For the better. He loves her more than he'll ever be able to put into words. And because he can't put it into words, he feels like it's the actions, small and big, that help him communicate his love a bit better.  He still remembers the moment he mentioned marriage to her (not for the first time, but definitely the first time he actually thought 'ok i really want to marry her right now') like it happened yesterday. He remembers exactly what it felt like to physically feel his heart shatter inside his chest, and the way he silently cried himself to sleep that night with Y/N in his arms.  "Would you ever, uh... consider g-getting married? like, I don't know, if we ever have, like, an actual conversation about it, would you consider it?" He asked her in the middle of their Lord of the Rings marathon.  Harry could feel her intense staring at the side of his face. She was quiet for so long, it killed him. He truly wanted the cushions of their pink couch to just suck him inside the furniture piece.  He wouldn't dare to turn his face. He couldn't look at her, no. Not to face the rejection of his lifetime.  "Uh, I don't think so." She said, and Harry only nodded, thinking the conversation was over

once he felt her move her head to face the television again. "You know how I feel about you and how I feel about marriage. I honestly think it's useless. You don't need a signed paper to know how much I love you, Harry." Her tone was soft, but the words that left her mouth felt like a million knives inside his chest.  That conversation sent him spiraling over a thousand thoughts, overthinking their entire relationship and how he now felt like they were getting nowhere with it.  He respected her decision, though. That's why he didn't bring it up again.  Y/N sensed his mood change that same night. She kept her mouth shut, because she truly didn't know what to say. She didn't understand where he was coming from, or why it was so important to him. At first, she didn't think his mood was affected because of her not wanting to get married, maybe he had something else going on and was struggling to talk about it, but after many sessions with her therapist going over and over their conversations and trying to decipher why everything was so weird between them, she came to the conclusion it might have to do with them not getting married.  She just didn't want it. And she didn't know how to make him understand. But she couldn't lose him either. He was her everything. It took her months to be able to sit next to him like she did the night he was watching The Little Mermaid in the living room of their small New York apartment.  It's been months since they last shared a movie night, or a date. They've been eating dinner while having awkward small talk about their jobs and friends, going straight to bed after cleaning everything up, each to their side. They haven't touched each other except the occasional greeting peck ever since that night. And it was killing both of them, but neither knew how to approach the other.  As she sat down to his right, she saw him tense immediately. It broke her, to see him so on guard around her. Y/N couldn't look away from him, with her body facing him and her head rested on the back of the couch, she wanted to grab his hand so badly, but she didn't know if he'd reject her.  The doorbell rang, and he looked at her for the first time that night. His eyebrows had the cutest frown and she wanted to kiss his forehead to make him relax, but of course, she didn't.  She sent him a shy smile and stood up, going straight to the door and picking up the cash she left prepared on the little table next to it. She could feel his stare burning holes in her back, which sent chills down her spine.  "Thank you so much." Harry heard Y/N say, immediately hearing the door shut. From where he was sitting he didn't have a clear view on who was on the other side of the door. Y/N made her way to their kitchen (to do God knows what, Harry thought) only to appear seconds after with two tubes of ice cream (from his favorite place) and two big spoons.  She sat back down next to him with her legs under her, a little closer than moments ago but still out of Harry's reach.  She handed him one of the tubes, and Harry immediately noticed it was chocolate chip mint, his favorite, he might add. He looked up at her, who gave him a small shrug of her shoulders and a side smile, and he couldn't help but smile widely at her, his deep dimples on full display.  God, I missed those dimples so bad. Y/N thought.  But what she didn't know is that Harry was thinking about how much he missed her. Entirely. He hated himself for overthinking every small detail, and for thinking so lowly of their future. But he couldn't help it. "Thanks." He shyly took the ice cream and started eating right away. Not five minutes later, he grabbed her by her thigh and dragged her next to him, only to have her close to his body. And because he missed her. And her body heat. And her addictive smell of clean soap and vanilla. And a lot of other things which would take a lifetime to enumerate.  She looked at him from her new spot, and due to the proximity, she had to shift her head slightly up to look at his face. She slid her right arm around his left,

carefully looking at him to see any kind of reaction that might show discomfort, and when she noticed his smirk slowly and barely making an appearance, she relaxed next to him, fitting half of her body under his arm, with his elbow resting on her stomach and her head on his upper arm. Half way through the movie, with their ice cream tubes forgotten on their coffee table, Y/N looked back up to him, and even though she's been doing it every two minutes, Harry knew she wanted to say something this time. He doesn't look at her, though, thinking it might shy her away, but right when he was trying to concentrate back on the film, he heard her say something.  It was barely audible, almost like she didn't want him to hear it. Did he imagine it? Maybe he's so deprived from her and her touch and her words that he's finally going insane.  Harry looked at her this time, and looking straight at her grey eyes so closely for the first time in two months felt like a thousand fireworks exploding violently on his stomach.  "Did you say something?" He looked at her confused, and the look on her eyes is so hard to decipher he thinks she definitely said something she's scared to repeat.  "I miss you." Y/N repeated herself, barely louder. But then he knew for sure he didn't imagine it.  His Y/N missed him. For so long Harry thought he was losing her, that after distancing himself from her she finally realized she not only didn't want marriage, but a relationship with him at all. But she missed him. And he missed her.  "You miss me?" He asked, almost like he didn't believe her, his tone was low and his voice sounded deeper that ever.  Y/N nodded, but she felt pathetic. She felt like he didn't miss her like she missed him, maybe he didn't miss her at all. For two months she's been feeling like he wanted out, that this relationship felt like an obligation to him.  Harry felt her slowly sliding away from his arms, and that's when he realized he's been so stuck in his head he still hadn't replied.  "Don't," he quickly grabbed her by her thigh with his hand closest to her body "please, don't go." She stayed still in her place, looking at him with soft but sad eyes. "I miss you so much, Y/N." Harry turned on his spot so he's facing her, and softly cupped her jaw with his free hand, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "You have no idea." He whispered, slowly getting her face close to his while closing his eyes. He kissed her forehead so lovingly she literally burst into tears. Y/N's soft sobs alarmed Harry, lifting her head up by his hold on her jaw. "Please, don't cry baby. It breaks me when you cry."  Y/N shifted on her place so she was with her body facing the back of the couch, her knees pressed against it, but she tilted her body to the side so she could hug Harry. She slowly draped her arms around his torso, resting her head on his chest.  A sigh of relief left Harry's lips, resting his chin on top of her head while he hugged her back. One of his arms was resting low on her back, while the other one rested on her shoulder, his giant hand cupping her head to softly caress her hair.  They stayed in that position for a long time. Y/N could feel Harry's heartbeat, and how it slowly picked up speed when she pressed her lips to his chest. And even though he was wearing a shirt, Harry could feel the heat of her lips through it. He pressed his own lips on top of her head, leaving them there for a while, almost like a very long, still kiss, until he felt her head shift underneath his lips. He pulled away just barely to allow her to look up at him, and when she noticed him quickly looking down to her lips, she stretched her neck up to press their lips together.  It was a short, very sweet kiss. With fear as an undertaste and nervousness written all over her. She was just scared he was going to leave.  When she pulled away from him, she didn't have time to open her eyes as she felt Harry press their lips together again. This second kiss was almost the same as the first one, insecure.  It's funny, if you think about it. How similar their

feelings were and how scared they were of messing everything up with a single wrong move.  Once Harry pulled away from the kiss he initiated, they locked eyes, yet again. But this time, it was written all over their faces how badly they missed each other, and how much they dreaded to feel the effects each had on one another after so long.  The third kiss they shared, it's initiated from both sides, almost as they were able to read each other's minds. Their lips moved in sync, and as Harry softly captured Y/N's bottom lip between his own to slightly suck on it, she put more pressure into it. The kiss slowly started to gain force, passion and need. But she was scared to take the next step. She wanted him to take the full lead, as opposed to what they were used to, just because she didn't want him to feel like he owed her anything.  And then, he did take that step. The hand he had holding her jaw moved under her hair to grab her by the neck, while slowly tracing her bottom lip with his tongue, asking for access to her mouth. And once she allowed their tongues to meet, his hold on her lower back got stronger, draping his arm completely around her waist to pull her closer. That action made Y/N's body lift up from how strong he was holding her, and she took this as a sign to move. She straddled him on the couch, sinking (almost on slow motion) to sit on top of his thighs. Harry groaned in frustration. She's too far away, he thought.  "Closer." He said in a pleading tone, and Y/N complied immediately. She slid her body up his thighs, and he forced her chest to collide with his. The hand that was holding her neck slowly traced her entire spine, to join his other one on her lower back.  Her tongue felt so warm and soft, so inviting. He had always loved the way she kissed him, with so much passion but with a gentleness that was so her. She managed to fully relax in his hold once her hands found their way to his hair, right behind his ears, and he couldn't help but whimper at the feeling of their groins pressing together.  This sparked a burning fire inside both of them. A fire that burned so good they'd rather die caught on it, than to never feel it again.  Harry slowly slid his hands up and down her sides, all the way from her outer thighs to her side boobs. And when he did it for the second time, on his way up he slid his hands under her shirt instead of continuing their path over it. When his hands stopped at the higher part of their path, he caressed her side boobs with his thumbs, doing the same afterwards right below them, and when she finally grinded down on him, letting a deep groan leave her lips, he cupped her breasts with his hands.  But when she pulled away, he dropped his hands automatically.He started eating his brains out thinking he really messed up, he was taking things down a road she didn't want to take yet, which was okay, it's not like he only wanted her body back, but he was scared he made her uncomfortable.  Only then, his dick grew incredibly hard when she grabbed the hem of her oversized t-shirt to pull it up and off her body. Her perfectly perky boobs bounced slightly when Y/N dropped her shirt on the floor, resting her arms on her sides.  He looked up from the lovely sight of her boobs thinking about how badly he wanted to devour them, only to find her with an uncertain look on her face. And he hated it. He hated the thought of her doubting herself so much.  Harry ran his hands up and down her soft stomach, and then slid them up, softly but barely touching her boobs. His destination was somewhere else (for now), and he grabbed Y/N by her neck to pull her close.  Their lips met again in the softest kiss they shared that night so far, and Y/N melted in Harry's arms like the forgotten ice cream behind her. He kissed the corner of her lips as he pulled her hair slightly so he could start kissing her jawline, down to her neck, leaving pepper kisses all over her skin.  When he reached her collarbone he started sucking and biting (she loved when he bit her) knowing he couldn't do it to her neck

due to her job. She let a moan leave her lips, and when Harry slid one of his hands to grab her by her hip, she grinded down on him again, with more confidence this time.  Harry lowered his face a bit more so he could finally reach one of his favorite features of his Y/N, her boobs. He took her left breast in his mouth, sucking on Y/N's nipple, making her whimper and jerk forward, tightening her hold on his brown locks to pull him even closer. He slid the hand that was holding Y/N's hair down so he could pay attention to both nipples at the same time, while using his hand on her hip to keep a steady peace to her grinding. Once she caught up with the slow but rough peace he wanted, he let go of Y/N's hip to grab the nipple he had in his mouth with in his hand, and he pinched both of them at the same time, rolling the hard buds on his fingers, then moving his mouth to the other one.  He spent a lot of time paying attention to Y/N's nipples, nibbling, sucking, groping, knowing damn well they were extremely sensitive (she could orgasm just by nipple stimulation if done correctly, but she really wanted him right now). Y/N pulled from his hair enough to let him know she wanted something else, and when he let her nipple fall from his mouth, he looked straight into her eyes.  Harry's cheeks were tinted a pretty shade of pink, and Y/N couldn't help but admire the beautiful man under her.  He looked at her with such pure eyes, but lustful at the same time. She didn't understand how he could look so innocent but so fucking hot at the same time, it was unfair how angelic he was.  She grabbed a handful of his shirt, to let him know she wanted it off. Once Harry complied, throwing his shirt somewhere near Y/N's, he immediately reached for her cream silk shorts, tugging the elastic band down as a silent plea for her to get out of them for him.  She stood up from the couch, knowing Harry loved when she undressed herself for him, and still in between his legs holding eye contact, she slowly slid her shorts down her thighs along with her underwear.  Harry couldn't keep eye contact for long, though. His eyes were glued to her glistening core that was slowly making an appearance, and he was getting frustrated at how slow she was being.  He sat straighter on the couch so he could reach for her, and slid his hands down the front of her thighs, and on their way up he slowly slid them to their insides, getting close to where she wanted him. He slid one of his hands down again, but this time he grabbed her right leg from behind her knee, to pull it up. He made her rest her feet outside his thigh, which was now in between her legs. In this new position he got a clear view of her pretty pussy, all on display for him.  "So wet, baby." He whispered, and she couldn't help but return her hold on his hair to pull him closer to her. "All for me?" Harry asked her, looking up to stare at her right in the eyes. When she nodded, he hummed in response. "Let me take care of you, it's been so long. You probably need it so much, don't you?" His voice was so fucking deep and raspy she nodded desperately in response. Y/N couldn't handle much teasing, and she let Harry know by tightening her grip yet again, and forcing his face to be so close she could feel his breathing on her.  "Please, Harry." She pleaded. Harry loved teasing her, but he knew it's been a long time, he didn't want to frustrate her much.  He finally licked very slowly up her folds, all the way from her opening to her clit, humming when he reached her sensitive bundle of nerves. Y/N let out a long sigh of pleasure, her eyelids fluttering shut. She felt like she could literally come just by that, and when he closed his lips around her clit, she grind her hips against his lips. He started switching between sucking and pressing his tongue on her clit until he started to move it, creating undefined figures with the tip of his tongue.  They missed each other so much, so so much. And they both knew sex wouldn't magically fix everything. They knew they needed to work things out. But

sometimes conversation needs a little push, something to remind them why they need to fix things. The magnetic pull they felt towards each other was unbearably strong. They needed each other, in every imaginable way, but at that moment, they needed each other's bodies and emotion, no words needed. Just feel each other close.  Harry gave her clit a sweet kiss, and looked up at her while his fingers traveled up and down her folds, until they found their home in her opening. He searched her eyes for approval, and when she whispered a soft 'please' he slowly sank his ring and middle finger, knuckle deep. She whimpered loud at the sudden pressure, and he groaned at the tightness of her hole.  He rested his forehead on her navel for a second to let her adjust, and when he felt her grind on his fingers, he held her gaze while lining his mouth with her clit yet again. Harry started to work his fingers in and out of her, sucking on her clit. But what turned him on the most was her slow grinding on his face and fingers, like she was fucking his fingers nstead of his fingers fucking her.  Harry used his free arm to slide it under her leg that was up on the couch, and grabbed her ass with a tight grip to pull her even closer.  The pleasure was beginning to feel overwhelming, the pressure deep down on her belly begging for release was making her desperate. Y/N's moans and breathy sighs were becoming louder and consistent and the way he could feel her legs slightly shaking gave away how close she was to her release.  Harry wanted her to make a mess on his face, so badly. He lowered his head and replaced his fingers with his tongue, not before he moved his fingers one last time to massage her spongy spot at the front of her insides. He fucked her with his tongue as he used his soaked fingers to stimulate her clit, circling in the fast and rough peace he knew she enjoyed so much.  Her insides felt like a rocket about to launch, between his moans sending vibrations through her entire body and his fingers stimulating her clit the way she exactly needed, she became a moaning mess. Y/N couldn't comprehend how she was still standing up, even though Harry's arm under her thigh was holding most of her weight up, her knees were about to give up soon.  "H-Harry, I'm so close," Y/N spoke as clearly as possible, knowing her panting was messing with her words, "please don't stop." He admired the way her jaw tightened and relaxed, her mouth opening shortly after, making a perfect 'o' with her eyes pressed shut.  With one specific movement of Harry's tongue, she finally let go. With her eyes rolling back she let a couple of continuous 'fuck's quickly leave her mouth. Her entire body jolted forwards, bending a bit over him while his mouth was still attached to her core, helping her ride her orgasm, making it last for as long as possible.  Y/N pulled Harry away from her with her grip on his hair once it became too much, and looked down at him. Without a second thought she bent down to lock her lips on his, with so much force it threw him back into his original seated position on the couch.  "Take your pants off, now." She demanded, but adding an almost inaudible 'please', mostly for her. He happily obliged, taking his boxers down with them, imitating her previous actions. His cock sprung free, and he hissed at the feeling of freedom. Harry was so focused on her he didn't realize how painfully hard he was. He could feel his own heartbeat thundering in his chest with so much force it was almost alarming. He needed her so, so badly. Once his pants and boxers were thrown and forgotten on the floor, she straddled him.  Giving him a quick but soft kiss on the lips, she began making her way down his neck, reaching back up again to (what she knew) was his most sensitive spot behind his ear. Y/N sucked a small bruise, and he whimpered. God, Y/N loved those small noises he made. She kissed her favorite beauty mark on the right side where his neck meets his shoulder, and that small action alone made his heart feel like someone was squeezing and

twisting it. He missed those small loving details from her.  Y/N kept making her way down his chest, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses all over him, not forgetting to suck and nibble at his nipples. She loved taking care of him. All of him. And the way he enjoyed her playing with his nipples was something he was always scared of admitting, but he knew he didn't have to ask her to do it, because she just knew.  She sunk down to her knees, still sucking and licking the skin all over his stomach while caressing his thighs (Oh, those thighs). Y/N finally grabbed his dick and slowly stroked him all the way from his base to the tip, collecting some of the precum leaking from his deep pink, swollen head. He groaned loudly, lifting his hips to fuck her fist once. She took that as a sign to lower her head even more, his cock now in front of her face.  "Want my mouth, baby?" She tapped her plump lips with his tip, and when he looked down at her, she moved her closed lips around him, almost like she was using his precum as lipgloss, her hand still slowly moving up and down his length. She got him hypnotized. "Hmm?" She raised her eyebrows at him.  "Y-yes, please." He heavily sighed. His begging made her drip down her thighs, he knew how much she loved it, and she knew he loved begging too, maybe even more than her. She always took such good care of him.  She swirled her tongue around his tip once, then proceeded to lick up his shaft a couple of times like his dick was an ice lolly. Once she finally wrapped her lips around his tip, he sighed in relief, and relaxed his shoulders. Harry's hands grabbed her neck to pull her head down, and she surprised him when she suddenly deep throated him before even working her way there.  "Fucking hell, Y/N." He moaned when he felt her humming around him. Harry grabbed her hair making a shift ponytail, to help her get her hair out of the way, and using his grip on it to lift her head, her mouth left his dick, and he smirked at the small pout on her lips. "You are so perfect." She ignored him and tried to lean forward again, which made him smile at how desperate she was. He let her get what she wanted, allowing her lips to wrap around his tip again. She licked up his slit and swirled her tongue around him, and hollowed her cheeks to suck on his tip. She took more of him in her mouth, using her right hand to work on his base and her left to gently cup his balls and play with them.  Harry knew he wouldn't last long. It's been a while since they've done anything remotely sexual, and his hand... his hand wasn't her. So even though he could get himself off, nothing in the world would compare to how it felt when it was his Y/N pleasing him.  His breathing became irregular as she bobbed her head up and down his length in a steady rhythm, and when she tugged on his balls he knew he had to pull her away right that second, or he would come. And he really wanted to, but not like this.  "Baby, please," he tried to pull her head away with a tug on her ponytail, but she didn't oblige. Instead, she looked up at him through her eyelashes, still bobbing her head up and down on him, and that sight alone could make him come in a heartbeat. But he kept it together. "I wanna come inside you, p-please."  And that made Y/N pull away, her mouth making a 'pop' sound when she let his dick fall from her lips. She then straddled him, her hands finding their home right behind his ears, grabbing him by his hair, while his made their way around her body, hugging her close. His dick fit perfectly between her lips, and Y/N grinded on him to feel his wet cock slide through her folds, creating the most delicious friction. Harry kissed her passionately, trying to pour everything he felt in the kiss. And Y/N did feel it, because she was trying to do the same. They repeated the action a couple of times until she reached in between them to grab a hold of him, positioning him on her opening.  And when she finally sank down on him, they locked gazes. They sat still, connected. They were so close. They felt so close.  Harry

nudged her nose with his, softly brushing their lips together. He then noticed a single tear run down her cheek, and reached for her face quickly. Right before it got in her mouth he caught it with his thumb, and she leaned in his touch.  They didn't say a word. Just sat still.  With Harry caressing her cheek, and Y/N looking straight into his eyes. Y/N leaned forward to capture his top lip between hers, leaving the sweetest kiss, repeating the action with his bottom lip. After, she went for the right corner of his mouth, his cheek, his jawline, his pulse point, behind his ear. And repeated the exact same trail on the left side of his face, finishing with his top and bottom lips, one last time before starting to slowly grind and circle her hips on him.  Harry just couldn't stop staring at her. The amount of love and adoration he held in his heart for that woman was beyond words, and actions. And he then understood. He understood that he could live a life without marriage if it meant living it with her. He could handle it. He would get over it.  He involuntarily dropped his head back and shut his eyes with so much force, while hissing through gritted teeth when she finally lifted her weight on her knees, sliding up on his dick until he was almost entirely out, only to sink back down roughly, going so deep it made both of them moan loudly at how tight she was.  She slid one of her hands around his neck to grab him by his chin, forcing him to look at her. Y/N kissed him again, and this time their kiss was messy and desperate, between crashing teeth and loud moans due to her fucking him with all she got.  She let go of Harry's mouth to sit straighter, using his shoulders as support to move faster. This position gave Harry a view he wouldn't trade for anything in the world. He could see his cock, so drenched of her arousal, and her pussy taking him so well. The wet sounds leaving their connected centers were magical, so erotic, accompanied with the small whimpers and moans coming out of her perfect lips.  Harry thought she looked like a fucking goddess, with her round and perky tits bouncing up and down every time her tight pussy took him entirely.  "You're being so good, baby. Letting me fuck you just how I like it." She whispered to him, staring at his heart shaped, swollen lips. The lips she was so addicted to.  "You take such good care of me, angel. Always." He replied, looking into her eyes which were still glued to his lips. She licked her own, and moved forward to crash them against his on another messy kiss.  They both were so close. Harry couldn't understand how he managed to hold his release for so long, but he was proud of himself.  Y/N separated their lips for a moment to make him suck her point and middle finger, which he complied immediately, knowing exactly what she was doing. He then watched her lower her hand between their bodies again, but this time to reach for her clit, where she started to gently rub circles, stimulating herself.  Harry started thrusting up with force, to meet her halfway, tightening his grip around her middle. Y/N bit down his shoulder to stifle a loud moan, which only made Harry thrust faster.  "Please come for me, Y/N, I wanna feel you come all- all around my cock." He managed to plead between breathy whimpers. And it only took a few more thrusts from him to make her insides explode in the most blissful sensation, like electricity running all the way from her belly to her toes. She stiffens in his hold, her inside walls tightening and clenching so hard it almost sends him out of her, making his balls tighten right before he lets go. She could feel him emptying inside her, his spurts of cum filling her up, leaving both of them exhausted, satisfied and utterly fucked.  None of them moved for a while. Y/N's breathing calmed him, almost like a lullaby, and the way Harry was gently stroking her back made goosebumps erupt all over her body.  Without any warning, Harry stood up, making Y/N wrap her legs around him, she hissed through the feeling of his dick moving while still

inside her, and she bit down his shoulder again. She didn't question what he was doing, she didn't care.  Harry sat her down on a cold surface after turning the lights on, and when she opened her eyes she realized he sat her in their bathroom counter. He put some space between them so he could finally look at her again. The fact that they barely spoke during sex today (when they were usually pretty vocal) made everything so... different. Not in a bad way, though. It made them both enjoy sex as the pure performance of just loving someone. No need of crazy positions, weird kinks or edging each other the way they're used to. Just love. The need to feel connected. The need of physically demonstrating each other's love. How they are each other's entire world.  "I'm gonna clean us up, okay?" Harry told her softly, and she only nodded in response. She leaned in to give him a soft kiss, which honestly caught Harry off guard now that the sexual act was over. But made him happy nonetheless. She was scared of him shutting her out again. But he was scared of her getting tired of him.  He knew she was a free soul. She wanted so many things, and settling down to start a family like he wanted to wasn't in her near plans, maybe in her plans at all. And he knew that. He understood it, and he respected it. He just thought about how badly he truly wanted that life with her. He was just scared she would let him go.  They both looked down and hissed the moment he slid out of her. Harry had the perfect view of their mixed cum dripping down her core, making a mess on the marble counter under her. And Y/N saw his dick twitch at the sight, but decided against commenting on it. Even though it made her slightly smirk.  Harry took his time cleaning both of them, and Y/N didn't look away from him. Not even for a second. He lifted her up again and literally sat her down on the toilet so she could pee. They've done this a thousand times, it was normal for them, she wasn't modest about him seeing or listening to her pee.  After they brushed their teeth next to each other, stealing curious looks (especially Harry at Y/N's boobs through the mirror), they went to bed together.  And for the first time in two months, she rested her head on his chest, with his arms wrapped around her.  The only thing she didn't notice was that once Harry knew she was asleep, he couldn't keep it in. He cried himself to sleep that night. But it wasn't any different from what he was used to from the past couple of months.  The only difference was that this time, he knew he'd give up his dreams if it meant he could keep her around.  &  The next morning, Y/N felt something, or someone, shift behind her. She knew it was Harry. His arm was thrown over her waist, resting dangerously close to her boobs (she secretly loved the way Harry seemed obsessed with her boobs) and she could feel his breathing hit the back of her neck.  She hugged his arm closer to her body to let him know she was awake, which made Harry shift even closer, cup her left breast and press his pretty pink and warm lips to her neck.  "Good morning." She said with a breathy laugh, her morning voice was a sound that drove Harry mad. She sounded way too sexy for her (or his) own good.  "Hi." He nuzzled her neck with his nose, "how'd you sleep?" He left another lingering kiss, this time below her ear.  "Amazing. Haven't slept this good in a while." She replied honestly, wiggling her body back towards him so their torsos were pressing together.  "Mhm, me too." He whispered, tightening his hold around her, his morning wood pressing on her lower back. She could already feel the pool of her arousal in between her legs, and when she arched her back so now his dick was pressing against the curve of her ass, he groaned in her ear.  He slowly started to grind himself against her ass, moving down on the bed a bit so he could better his position. And when she grinded back against him, he reached in between them to position himself on her opening. He pushed the tip in, just enough to feel her tight hole around

him.  "Can I?" He asked her to make sure they both wanted this. When she sighed deeply in pleasure and murmured a 'yes', he slowly thrusted into her, both moaning a bunch of profanities.  They both were huge lovers of morning sex. It increased their moods during their days, helped them relax and carry their days with a carefree feeling. So, he fucked her. Hard. Not even close to how loving they were last night. He woke up with an unbeatable energy, and he wanted to take advantage of it. He fucked her in the position they woke up in. He turned her to her stomach and fucked her while (almost) laying completely on top of her (she loved feeling his weight on her) and he fucked her on all fours, only to end up in their initial position, with her back against his chest on their sides, so he could play with her clit to help her come.  That morning they spent it in bed, Y/N made them breakfast, Harry read a book. They both knew they needed to talk, but they wanted to enjoy some time where everything felt normal between them again. So they avoided the topic.  But the conversation they owed each other kept being pushed. And for another two months, everything slowly started to feel normal again.  Usually, avoiding conversation will lead up to more hurting. But with Y/N and Harry, it ended up becoming a realization point.  Harry got in terms with the fact they wanted different things. He decided she was worth anything and everything in the world, because she was his world. But what he didn't know was that Y/N spent those entire two months imagining what a life like the one Harry wanted with her would be like.  And after one day, on Harry's 28th birthday, during a small walk they were taking on Central Park, she realized she would do anything in the world to make him the happiest man he could ever be. She kissed him so passionately that day, interrupting their walk. He looked at her with a confused look when she pulled away with the brightest smile on her face. But that smile made him confirm he was willing to give up his dream of getting married.  That's why in mid February, Y/N found herself shopping in a very expensive jewelry store. She knew Harry liked that place since his 'H' and 'S' rings were from there. They had an amazing section of handmade rings that she spent a long time going through. She wanted to pick the best one she could find.  She found the prettiest, most fine silver ring with a red stone adorning it's top. She knew he would love it. It definitely didn't look like the typical engagement ring, but nothing about Harry was typical. It would match the rest of his rings lovingly, and Y/N knew he would simply love it. Not only because it was a pretty ring, but because it would mean something big for them.  Three days later, Y/N came back from work to find Harry sitting on their living room couch watching the forecast. Why? Who the fuck knows. He never watched cable TV.  Y/N just stood there for a while, just staring at him.  "Hi, love." He greeted her. "Are you alright?" He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. The crease between them made an appearance, even though it was there most of the time.  "Hey." She finally moved, dropped her keys on the little bowl sitting on top of the small table in the hallway. "All good, gonna put some comfy clothes on really quick." She lied. She just couldn't wait any longer. Watching him sit there all frustratingly beautiful doing absolutely nothing was fucking annoying, it was so unfair how beautiful he was. She had an entire evening prepared but she just couldn't wait any longer. She wanted to do it now.  She dropped her purse on their bed and quickly got rid of her shoes, but didn't change into anything comfier. She just grabbed the small black velvet box from her t-shirt drawer and went back to the living room, sliding it in the back pocket of her jeans so he wouldn't be able to see it.  Harry looked at her with a confused look, wondering why she was still in her work clothes walking directly to him when she said she wanted to change.  She sunk to her knees in

between his legs, which only made him even more confused. "You sure you're alright?" Harry gently asked her. She just hummed in response and grabbed the remote sitting on the coffee table (moving as little as possible, she didn't want him seeing the small bump on her jeans because she knew he would ask about it), and turned back around.  She rested her ass on her ankles, and her arms on top of his thighs. "So..." she started.  "So..." Harry repeated, confused.  "I love you, so very much." Y/N started and Harry's breath got caught in his throat. He wasn't expecting this at all. "So much, you don't even understand." Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. They haven't told they loved each other in so long, scared of the other not saying it back. God only knows why, because it was clear as water they still loved each other with their whole beings. "And I know we both always wanted different things."  This is it. Harry thought. She's breaking up with me.  "And I know there are some things I believe that you will never understand, and there are some things I- I didn't understand, for a long time." Harry furrowed her eyebrows further at this last part. Now he truly didn't understand what she was trying to say. "For so long I thought I wanted something, you know? Like I was sure I had it all figured out for myself, the life I wanted. But I actually- I was searching for a life that wasn't mine. And I didn't realize that what I already have is everything I could possibly want." Y/N's cheeks were flushed, tears streaming down her face so fast they were drenching his hands that were now pressed against her cheeks, softly caressing them. "I know now, that love is about finding common ground. Meeting each other's needs. And sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to do that. And I came to a conclusion." She swallowed the big lump on her throat, and that finally allowed her to let a long breath leave her chest. "I love you more than anything in this world. I hope you know that, and I know I struggle sometimes with letting you know how much I adore and admire all of you. But I promise to do my best today, and for the rest of my life, to make sure you know how loved you are. How much I'm willing to do for you. And this took me a while to understand, but I do now. I understand why you felt like you needed to take that 'next step' with us. And I understand why it'd make you as happy as you always said. So, it'd make me really happy to ask you to," Y/N reached her pocket and heard him gasp when she pulled the box in front of him, revealing a beautiful ring for him, "marry me." Harry was speechless. Truly, ultimately speechless. Not only was the love of his life asking him to marry her, she was saying she truly wanted this. Harry's gaze kept going from the ring back to her eyes. And after a while of no one saying anything, Y/N cleared her throat. "H," she whispered, "Will you marry me?" She asked, the soft tone on her voice and the question he dreamed so many times asking her knocked him back to life.  "Yes, yes, Y/N, yes- oh Y/N-" he choked a sob, and the biggest smiles appeared on both their faces. Y/N threw herself to him, wrapping her arms around his neck so tightly. He helped her straddle him so he could wrap his own arms around her.  They held each other for a few seconds, both crying the happiest tears they ever let drop, and when she pulled away to put the ring on him, he surprised her by crashing their lips together.  They shared their most passionate kiss in the entirety of their relationship, both still crying, smiling, spilling so much love and adoration with each stroke of their tongues. When he pulled away, she finally placed the box in between them again.  "Can I put it on you? I know you like to wear your 'H' ring on your ring finger, so we could put it somewhere else, you know? And make it our own thing-" Harry interrupted her giving her a soft peck, "or we could-" another kiss, "I don't know." She finally gave in, pressing her lips harder against him.  After another long kiss, he finally told her

where he wanted his ring, and with a last kiss he patted her ass to let her know he needed her to stand up.  "Wait here." He pointed at her, and she sat on the couch with a soft 'okay'.  He returned moments later with his hand behind his back and a lopsided smirk. He sat in the same position she was for her proposal, in between her legs.  Before he said anything, he moved his hands in between them, opening a red velvet box. She gasped like Harry did moments ago when she saw the beautiful ring with a small red stone (yes! Like his own ring) placed on top of a very thin and delicate silver band that was sitting inside the small box.  "It was my grandmother's." Harry said in a quiet tone. "She gave it to me before she passed away a couple months after we met, remember?" She slowly nodded, lifting her gaze to meet his eyes. There was so much love written all over his face. "I told her you were it for me. I knew I wanted this with you ever since we met at our university library. She gave it to me in hopes I could... give it to you some time." He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I kept it hidden from you all this time. Didn't want you to find it and make everything weird between us. But I'd really love if you could, um... wear it if you want?" He shyly asked.  "It'd be an honor to carry her ring with me, Harry." His face lit up so fast at her response.  "Yeah?" He asked, perplexed.  "Yeah." Y/N replied with a big smile.  "Will you marry me, Y/N?" He asked her this time, and she couldn't help but giggle.  "I asked you first." She pecked his lips. "But yes, Harry. I'll marry you." And she kissed him again, and he couldn't help but smile so widely she ended up with her lips against his teeth.  After putting his grandmother's ring on her, they shared another night of pure, loving sex. None remember how many times they made each other come, but they did have another important conversation between rounds.  "Something else I wanted to tell you..." She said, in between kisses (they loved giving each other soft small pecks all over each other while they were talking). She was straddling him in their bed, his back against the headboard. He didn't want to pull out of her just yet, keeping his cum inside her for as long as possible.  "I know you're ready to have kids, like, right now." She said, and he raised his eyebrows playfully at her. "I can tell by your breeding kink, honestly." He let a loud laugh leave his chest, making her smile too. It was honestly hilarious, I mean, look at their position.  "I decided I really want to have kids with you." He gasped, "But..." he sunk down in his position, a visible pout on his lips, which she kissed away from him. "Promise me you'll wait for me, until I'm in my 30's" He locked eyes with her. She really wanted this. So much.  "Only three more years?!" He asked with so much hope.  "Three more years and we can start trying, I promise. I just thought that- that we could get married now, have some time as a married couple, you know? To enjoy ourselves." She shrugged and he couldn't help but smile widely and her, nodding frantically. "That way we are both adapting to each other, you know? Meet halfway our wants."  "God, I love you so much." He chose to say, instead of replying straight away. "I'll wait a lifetime to have kids with you if that's what you wanted, just please- decide before you reach menopau-" He couldn't even finish his sentence since she shut him up by putting her hand over his mouth.  "Don't even say it. God, I don't wanna be old." She sighed in frustration.  "I honestly can't wait to grow old with you." Harry said with such a loving tone, like an enamored teenager, hugging her closer to him. And she couldn't help but smile back at him. Because even though ageing scares her, she's ready to spend the rest of her life with him.  "I love you, my angel." Y/N told Harry, before kissing his lips, yet again. 

"I love you, my Y/N." Harry whispered to her, keeping her face close to his. 

X

Thank you so much for reading! Have a lovely day <3

-Joey

[mytrashs-blog]

Drunk On You- T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: SMUTTTTTT. Please do not read this if you’re under 18. The Smutty part is between this signs: [...] so if you want to skip over the smut, you can, but it won’t make much sense. Also... There’s A LOT of swearing.

Summary: You’re a virgin and you’re drunk so you send a risky DM on instagram.

Word Count: Almost 6k... she’s thicc

A/N: I cannot tell you just how much I enjoyed writing this! It started as a 2 am inspiration punch and then it took me three weeks to finish it. It’s my first time writing smut, so I don’t know if that part’s good, but I like it and I really hope you do too. (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Masterlist

(Gif isn’t mine and I couldn’t track the author, so credits go to the owner)

Fuck this shit, you’re 22 years old, you’re in college and as much as you enjoy leaving fratboys with blue balls in the middle of a party, you need to get this over with. You’re tired of waiting for the “right guy”, if you keep on doing that you’ll end up virgin for your whole fucking life. But where the fuck can you find a guy that’s not gonna judge you for being a sad, drunk virgin in the middle of a tuesday night? Being drunk and alone at your dorm was pathetic enough…

So you scroll through instagram for a while only to find out there’s no right suitor for the job, but in the heat of the moment you notice that Tom Holland, yes the scrawny white boy that looks 12 and plays Spider-man has just posted a shirtless picture and boy, he does not look 12 anymore. So you slide into his DM’s just for the shit and giggles:

“Hey, Tommy boy!

You probably get millions of DMs like this every second of everyday, but fuck, I just wanted to say that you are extremely hot and I am extremely virgin and I’m also drunk, so I thought I’d write you to ask for a massive favor.

Would you have sex with me just to take my virginity away? Ok, thanks.

Bye!

P.S. I think you’re great in your new film.”

And yes, you did press send to that, but of course you don’t even remember writing it in the first place the next morning while getting ready for your 9am class, so your daily routine goes on as normal.

But then, while you’re making your best effort not to fall asleep while your professor talks about some depressed artist that beat his wife and was super sexist, but was somehow excused because he made some decent poem, you hear the unmistakeable ping of your phone, which can only mean that you got a text, so you go to see it, because that is far less rude than falling asleep during class, but you were surely not ready for what was showing on your phone screen.

All air, and life to be honest, left your body for a second, you double checked, and then triple checked and yes… Tom Holland had wrote you on instagram’s direct messages.

“Holy fuck” you only realize you said that out loud when the three people closest you turn to look at you and shush you, but you’re still in shock and still have not opened the message, but maybe it’s not a great idea to open it in front of everybody, specially your professor, so you figure the bathroom will be the best place to do it.

You lock yourself in a stall and sit down, get your phone out, take a deep breath and open the instagram message. My God, you were not expecting what your screen showed:

“Haha, this is too cool to ignore! I happen to be in your area right now… Give me a call and I’ll make it happen ;)”

And yes, his phone number was there too. The phone number of THE Tom Holland! like… WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! What are the odds of him actually reading your DM? And the odds of him replying? And the odds of TOM MOTHERFUCKING HOLLAND agreeing to be your first time?! Someone up there must be having a good laugh.

But it would be rude to chicken out now, right? One does not simply say no to fuck with a Marvel actor. You gotta do it. It's your holy duty. So you reply with a simple “Looking forward to it” and you get your shit together before returning to your class.

You think about texting him while you walk to grab some lunch, but what do you say to a celebrity that agreed to deflower you?… Wait. Holy shit! You’re actually gonna have sex with Tom Holland! He’s super ripped! And you’re gonna see and feel all his bits and pieces… honestly, your panties got a bit damp just thinking about that. This is gonna be fun.

You decide to shoot the text while waiting for your iced coffee. “Hey, it’s (Y/N) from instagram. Are you serious about the thing? If so, when are you available?”

And that’s when the game begins, cause he replied almost instantly and you decided he’s just another fratboy playing around, so you played along.

“I’m dead serious, babe. I can do it tonight.”

“Nice. That’s how I like it… what time are we talking about?”

“9 ish, maybe 10.”

“Gotta give me an hour… also, it would have to be at yours, cause I live in a dorm that I share with another girl.”

“You could ask her to join…”

“Haha. Nah, this is all for me to enjoy.”

“And you will. 9:30 sounds good for you, babe?

“Perfect.”

“I can pick you up. Send me your location and I’ll go there.”

“Nice. I’m liking it already.”

“You’ll like it even more.”

You go about your day with a stupid smile all day, nervous and excited for what’s gonna happen later. Paying attention to class? What is that? Concentrating on your due projects? You don’t know her. All you can do is think about the things that man might do to you later.

Wait… you gotta shave. Also, should you go buy some nice underwear? It overwhelms you how unprepared you are and you run, abandoning everything you had to do that day to go get ready to have sex with a super hot celebrity.

You shaved, exfoliated, bought nice underwear, picked out a sexy outfit, you even tried to work out a little to look a bit more toned for him. You allowed your most extra self to come and shine, and you definetely enjoyed the process.

“What are you getting ready for? It’s wednesday. I doubt there’s any interesting party. Oh God! Do you have a date?” your roomate asked as soon as she saw you posing a skirt for the mirror when she walked in.

“I think so… I don’t know. I’m gonna meet this guy I met on instagram.” She gave you a corncerned look, but you were definetely not gonna tell her the details, that’s extremely private, it’s rude to tell people about celebrities intimate life, even if it’s with you. He didn’t mention anything about keeping it secret, but it would do a lot of harm to freely go around saying that he likes having sex with fans. It would ruin his privacy completely. At least from your part, you can guarantee no one’s ever gonna find out.

True to your word, you sent him your location an hour before the time you arranged and he called you, yes. HE CALLED YOU at 9:30p.m. on the dot to tell you he was outside and it took you a second to process the call, so much that you couldn’t voice anything more than an “Okay”… that basically ruined your super confident text attitude, and this was over the phone, would you even be able to get inside his car? The nervousness really hit you like a truck the second you hung up the phone, and your roomate noticed, but she didn’t say anything.

After taking a few deep breaths and counting to ten trying to calm yourself down, you get your purse and walk down the hallway and the stairs of the dorms and by the time you get to the main door, your legs are shaking like crazy and your palms are a little sweaty, so you gotta calm down again and remind yourself that this man is just a regular human being and that nothing has to happen if you don’t want to. And just like with tequila shots, you stop thinking and just go for it.

As soon as you see the car, you walk confidently towards it, and as he rolls down the window you can see it really is him, but you don’t let his face tear your confidence down, so you slightly smile and get in the car, it’s an extremely fancy car and you’re sure you’ve never set foot in anything this luxurious, honestly there’s no doubt that the seat your ass is resting on right now could easily be worth your entire college tuition and student loans. Okay, maybe that is an exageration, but it sure looks expensive.

“Hey, nice to finally meet you in person… I’m Tom!” he smiles in a polite and friendly matter, and you can see there’s a hint of nervousness in his smile aswell and that eases you a little because it confirms that he’s just as normal as you are.

“I’m (Y/N), pleasure to meet you. Thank you for agreeing to do this. I know it’s super weird and all, and I was definetely not expecting this outcome when I sent that message last night, but I’m grateful regardless…” you’re rambling, but he doesn’t seem to mind, he looks amused even. When you finally stop talking he drives away and you fall into a slightly uncomfortable silence, until he turns the music on and you recognize the song so you start humming along, and he joins, but other than that, there’s not much talking on the way to the apartment he’s staying at temporarily right now.

The place looks expensive, but it’s also very simply decored, it does look a temporary thing, but it also looks like a place where a single chaotic youn man exploded, so there’s empty beer bottles here and there, clothes literally everywhere and dirty dishes in the sink… but it does smell like cologne, very manly aswell… being at his place sets a whole new level of anxiety, because this is just so intimate. You’re inside his little world, his safe space, and even if it’s just for a brief moment you’re just happy that he agreed to do this with you.

“Do you want anything to drink? I have wine, beer and a spare champagne bottle from the other night… or just water. Please make yourself comfortable, sorry about the mess, I really don’t like cleaning.”

“That’s alright… you should see my dorm during finals week, that’s a whole other level of messy, haha… and wine would be great, thanks.” You’re slowly calming down and trying no to overthink about what’s about to happen and forget about the reputation of the man you’re doing it with, because the fact that he’s famous doesn’t mean he’s less human and maybe glorifying him for his job is a little rude from you. So you sit down in the couch, right next to a thrown blue hoodie, hold on a second… this is the one from Spider-Man: Homecoming, the one with the emblem of the highschool, shit, this is a historical piece of clothing for the cinematic world and you’re sitting right next to it. Shit, there goes all the progress you had made in the last fifteen minutes.

When he comes back with two glasses of wine in one hand and the bottle in the other one, you help him put down the stuff safely because he looks so stressed carrying the things and it is a small funny moment, before he sits down right beside you and it becomes impossible to get your words to come out of your mouth. So he takes the lead.

“Listen, I don’t want you to think I’m some sort of predator, okay? I don’t know why I agreed to do this, but it was not to take advantage of you, so if at any point you feel uncomfortable and you don’t wanna do this anymore, you can just tell me and we’ll call this off, okay.” He puts his hand on you knee to reassure you and it does make you feel better, and you relax into your seat  and just nod a little before speaking.

“Thank you” And it comes out like you’re breathing out in relief, and that’s when he leans in to kiss you and you take a deep breath before corresponding and taking the last step to seal your lips together.

Your mind just goes blank and you forget what you were nervous about in the first place, kissing Tom is not that much different than kissing any other guy, except for the fact that his lips are softer than most guys’, but this one does have to take care of himself, it is literally part of his job and it should not be that surprising that a guy takes basic care for his appearance, but it is nice.

[…]

The kiss moves in a nice rythm and his hands start sliding from your knee to your waist and he pulls you closer to him and your hands find their courage and go to the back of his neck and so you’re also pulling him in, and all you want is to have him closer, as close as you can possibly have him, and when his hand moves down to your ass, you take that as the perfect moment to throw your leg over so you can straddle him and now both of Tom’s hands are on your ass and you grab onto his shoulders for leverage, and just because you need to breathe in properly, you let your lips disconnect and you see him beneath you.

His hand comes up to move your hair out of your face and you stare at each others eyes for a second and it doesn’t feel overwhelming anymore, so you smile at him for a brief moment, but being apart from his lips feels terrible right now so you lean back in and his hand is in your head and he’s pushing you closer to him, and your hands just slide down to his chest, you play with the chain he has on for a second and he smiles into the kiss, but then you move your attention to the buttons of his shirt and start undoing them.

You take your lips to his neck and he becomes super responsive, you find his sensitive spot quite quickly and he moves you closer to him so you feel his lenght rubbing against your core and it makes you go undo the buttons faster, before you know it he’s taking the shirt off and throwing it to the floor, when his hands are free, he takes advantage and lifts your blouse and you put your arms up to give him easy access. You’re glad you rush bought that set of nice underwear, because Tom’s eyes visibly fill with lust at the sight of the barely there lacy piece covering your breasts.

He touches your chest ever so lightly it gives you goosebumps, he traces a path to your breasts but he stops right before getting to them “Can I?” he whispers, looking straight into your eyes, and there’s something so sexy about him seeking your explicit consent, it makes your panties a little wetter, you nod lightly and he goes ahead, tracing the shape of your breasts with his fingers, like he wants to get familiar with them, he takes one of your nipples between his fingers and applies a little preasure on it, and then on the other one, he’s taking his sweet time before cupping them and pressing his lips in the space between them, and your hands respond to that by taking his hair and pulling lightly and he moans into your skin and it makes you shiver.

He keeps leaving wet kisses on your nipples and sucking on sensitive spots and you can swear it will leave marks, but who cares, you’re just over the moon with everything that’s happening and you just want more and more. He takes one hand to your ass again and he holds it tightly, using the other hand he slides to the edge of the couch and just like it’s nothing heavier than an empty box, he stands up, and you gasp because frankly you were not expecting it, he laughs a little and gives you a reassuring smile.

“I just thought we’ll be more comfortable in my room.”

“Okay, then.” You find it so odd that he’s so unbothered while carrying your full weight, like you’re not exactly the lightest woman in the world, but you won’t deny that being so close and personal to his biceps like this, it’s something you could get used to.

He takes you up the stairs, and along the corridor, once you reach the door, he turns the knob but decides to kick the door rather than opening it like a normal person, but you can’t complain because every moves looks hotter than the previous, and when he lays you down on his bed and stays hovering above you, you just can’t handle it and you kiss him again, your legs hug around his bum to bring him closer where you need him and he takes the hint, he pushes your skirt to your stomach and before he does anything else, his seeks your consent “Is this okay?” he asks, “Yes.” you say loud and clear and he rubs his fingers on your core, and it feels good, but your panties feel like a concrete wall, you just need to feel his fingers, his everything all over your body, so you arch your back and unzip the skirt and he pulls it down and throws it to a corner of the room.

He takes a second to look at you in just your underwear and you feel exposed, but he’s looking at you like you’re some sort of Goddess, he kicks his shoes off and goes to undo the button of his jeans, and it looks so slow and you need him now but you watch him and when he slides down the jeans and you can make out the shape of his member. You feel a little overwhelmed with the view in front of you, and you take a moment to take it all in. His face is crowned by (now) very messy curls, his eyes that used to be brown are practically pitch black by both the dim lighting and lust, there’s freckles all over his nose and cheeks, but they’re barely noticeable, his jawline is the most defined you’ve ever been near to, but even though there are a lot of strong features in his face, he looks almost childish and innocent… until you drop your eyes to his chest, that is.

Every single muscle in his chest has some sort of definition, he’s not as ripped as in the movies, but then again, he’s not super dehydrated and over exercised right now, and he still looks more muscular than any guy you know, his abs are defined, there’s a visible V marking the path from his hips to his member and it is stupidly making your mouth water. He has black Calvin Kleins still on, but that’s the last piece of clothing he has on, and the anticipation is killing you.

He takes you by the ankles an pulls you closer to the edge of the bed and he spreads your legs open and gives you a devilish smile before leaning back in to give you a quick yet intense kiss on the lips and he slides down to your neck and chest again, but he keeps making his way down your body towards your bellybutton and it gives you goosebumps everytime he gives you even a peck or a light touch, you’re shivering with every touch.

“Relax, love… if you want me to stop you can just say it, okay?” He says looking up at you and you nod, you breathe in to calm your nerves down, he waits for you, when you’re finally ready you nod at him again, he gives your waist a light squeeze, smiles at you and places a kiss to your stomach and keeps kissing you lower, until one of his hands goes to your thigh while the other teases the waistband of your panties, hooking one finger on it, he starts pulling it down painfully slowly, you lift your bum to make it easier for your panties to leave your body, once Tom strecthes them to throw them to some part of the room, you sit up to take off your bra and he looks intently at you while you do it, so you smile and lock your eyes to his just to make it more interesting, and you also take your sweet time unclasping the clips, and Tom starts to get impatient, you can see it in his smile, but you enjoy playing with him so even when you do unclasp both clips, you keep the piece on and he puts his hands on his hair in exasperation and you just laugh, enjoying this small moment of being the one in charge, but you give in and take the lacy bra off and throw it to him, he catches it and throws it to the side.

You’re completely naked in his bed and he’s taking the view in. “You’re very beautiful, you know?” he says and you feel the blush creep up to your cheeks, but you smile and thank him regardless, he smiles back and leans back down, he kisses one of your thighs and then the other one, before he does anything else he looks up at you, once again looking for any signs of hesitation “Are you sure you want this?” he asks from his position and when you nod, he dives in.

He presses a light kiss into your folds and you immediately feel electricity emmiting from your core. Needless to say it’s your first time recieving an oral, every sensation is new, you can’t even tell if he’s good at this or not, but for you, it feels like the best sensation in the world, his tongue dances over your clit and you just grasp the sheets for dear life and when he sucks on it you swear you could come right there, but you manage to hold it for a little longer and he keeps going, it doesn’t take long for him to introduce one finger inside, the moan you let out is just obscene and he seems to love it, because he moans too but the vibrations that it sent to your clit make you lose it and you come yelling his name like your life depends on it and he guides you through your first orgasm of the night with his mouth and finger still pumping in and out.

“You’re dripping wet, you know that?” He tells you once you’ve calmed down and have regained your ability to function like a human being, you smile at him, trying to speak, but that function has not come back yet. He kisses you in the mouth and you can taste yourself in his mouth, you start relaxing into the kiss, and he starts tracing gentle circles on the skin of your stomach and you turn your body so can be face to face and your leg happens to feel his dick, and it feels impossibly hard, so you try to relieve the pressure by stroking it with your hand, but when you get your hand down his waistband, Tom stops you “If you touch me now, I’ll be the biggest dissapointment of your life.”

“You forget that I’m a virgin… I have nothing to compare you to.”

“Still… I’ve got my pride.” he finishes as he gets up and rumbles in a drawer of his nightstand, he finds the condom and shows it to you. “Do you want to do this?”

You take a deep breath, there’s nothing you want more than do it right now, but it sure makes you nervous, still you give him verbal consent “Yes, I do.”

That’s all he needs, he stands up completely and takes his underwear off, it happens quite fast, but you do get to apreciate his dick in full exposure, not that you’d know, but it sure looks like it’s gonna be hard to fit that inside of you, and you panic a little and Tom notices and chuckles while he slides the condom on, “It’s gonna be alright, I’ll make sure of it.”

He crawls back to the bed and hovers above you, his hand go to your core again and he slowly introduces one finger into you and starts pumping in and out slowly, he stays looking in your eyes, watching your every reaction, you’re moaning slightly, when he notices that you’ve gotten used to the sensation, he adds another digit and the pressure feels uncomfortable, but he notices so he waits for you to get used to the feeling before he starts pumping it, you bite your lip as you enjoy his movements, moans coming out of your mouth to the rythm of his fingers, when he starts stretching you by doing scissor motions with his fingers, the feeling increases and it is a lot more intense so you hold onto his arm, he’s still looking at you, wanting to be sure that you’re okay and staying alert to see any signs of discomfort in you, but you like it so much.

He takes his fingers out and the emptiness is just overwhelming, but when you see that he’s trying to align himself to your entry, you relax and stress at the same time. This is real. It’s gonna happen. Actually it’s happening at this moment. He looks at you again and lifts his eyebrows in question, you nod lightly and you hold on to his forearm and his neck in preparation. He pushes slowly in, it hurts a little but it’s not that bad, Tom sees you wincing and stops, waiting for you to get used to the new feeling, when you do, he keeps pushing a little. The rythm goes like that until he’s fully in.

You can see he’s having a hard time trying not to hurt you, it’s clear that he just wants to go for it, but you’re grateful he’s containing himself while you get used to the feeling of being so full right now, when you’re ready, you nod at him and he pulls slightly out, waits for you, and pushes back in. The rythm is slow at first for you to get used to it. At first it feels like too much, but the more he thrusts into you, it starts being not enough.

His grunts and moans sound heavinly to your ears, and whenever you are brave enough to just open your eyes and see him, his face is just so beautiful, he has a frown in his face out of concentration and self control, you’re admiring him when he opens his eyes and they meet yours, it’s such an intimate moment, it makes you blush a little bit, you caress his cheek and hair, interlocking your fingers in his curly locks, he lets out a soft moan in pleasure.

The pace gets faster and stronger and you’re getting closer to your high with every thrust, he’s hitting a point inside of you that you didn’t even know existed and it’s a whole new level of pleasure, it’s even making you feel like the world is spinning, you grab onto his back and scratch as you try to keep it together, he moans loudly and stops and pulls out suddenly.

“Get on all fours for me, love.” he tells you and you comply, he pulls you closer to the edge of the bed so he can fuck you while standing up off the bed, you try to arch your back to give him better access, he slides in easier now, and the sensation changes completely, he’s hitting another point that feels even better in this angle, the pleasure doesn’t let you stay stable and your arms can’t keep you up, so you press your face to a pillow and you can’t stop moaning his name, your high creeping up from your stomach once again.

“T- Tom… I think I’m gonna…”

“Wait for me, darling, I’m right there with you.”

His thrusts become sloppy and arythmic, he goes faster, his grunts louder with each thrust, your names falls from his mouth a lot more now, and his is the only word you can say at this point. You come first with an incredibly loud moan of his name. The feeling of you reaching your orgasm around his dick is enough to send him over the edge too, your name being dropped with a loud grunt, he squeezes your breast and rests his head on your back when he comes down from his high, both of you panting. You stay like that for a moment, but then Tom pulls out and goes to the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

[…]

You lay in the bed completely naked, but you do feel more exposed now that the moment’s over, so you cover up with a pillow and think about what just happened, relishing on how good it was, you figure this was the best idea you’ve had in a while, even if the most ridiculous but it worked out pretty well.

Tom comes back soon after and hands you a water bottle (because he apparently just keeps water bottles in his bathroom), you thank him and he lays in the bed with you. “How was that?” he asks you in some worried matter, like his whole career depended on your answer, you look at him and smile at him like he’s crazy, you had two orgasms, isn’t that enough proof that you liked it? when the anxiety becomes aparent in his face, you give him the verbal confirmation. “Of course I did, wasn’t it obvious?” you say while trying to hide your face, he takes your arms to stop you from doing so.

“Y/N! Don’t hide! It was actually really good for me too, and I’m happy you had a good first time, it’s cool.”

You smile at him bigger now, getting more comfortable now, and he leans to leave a kiss on your forehead, and you lay there just chilling for a while. Checking the clock in Tom’s bedside table you realize it’s almost 2 in the morning, you haven’t talked about this, but you think it’s not a good idea to stay the night, maybe he has things to do tomorrow, and you do have a class at 9, so you start to get up to recolect your clothes.

“Where are you going?” Tom asks in a whiny tone, he was right about to fall asleep before you got up.

“I think it’s time for me to leave, it’s quite late and I’ve got class tomorrow.” you reply with a slightly sad tone, just for the drama.

“You don’t have to go. There’s no way I’m letting you take an uber and I’m too lazy to get up and drive you… so stay, I promise I’ll take you to your front door tomorrow morning, alright?” also, he gives you mad puppy eyes to convince you, but you still move around the room trying to find your underwear, just to not be naked anymore.

“Okay, just let me put some clothes back on, cause this is weird.”

“Can you throw me my underwear, please?”

“Yeah, just let me try and find them.” You throw them at him once you find them among the mess and they land straight in his face, you just gotta laugh at it and he just rolls his eyes at you and puts the thing on jokingly bitching about you being rude to him and you just laugh at him while you walk back to the bed.

At some point, Tom goes to retrieve your clothes and the wine from the living room while you just scroll through your phone absent mindedly, you half read the tweets and just ignore the instagram posts you see until he gets back and gives you your barely touched glass of wine and lays back down next to you.

You stay there for a while just talking and drinking, actually getting to know each other, you tell him about your major in college, how hard it gets sometimes, and you even tell him about why you had never had sex before. He tells you about his work, his family, the things he wants to do next… he does tell you a little tiny spoiler of the future of Marvel, which you had to swear you wouldn’t reveal to anyone ever and it would be a secret you take to your graveyard. It’s a nice pillow talk, you’re laying in the bed, facing each other, his hand is lazily resting on your waist, yours playing with the chain on his neck. This is likely even more intimate than the sex itself, and it’s nice.

When you do finally fall asleep, is in that position. Wine bottle completely empty in the floor, clothes laying around, only sound in the room being the light snores of Tom and heavy sleep breathing. You’re extremely comfortable and relaxed, long forgotten how nervous you were before this happened. You could get used to this.

Your slumber is ruined when the alarm goes off at half 7 in the morning, you feel tired, but you get your clothes back on anyway, Tom takes a little longer to fully wake up, but he keeps his promise and throws a pair of sweatpants and a white shirt, he also throws a hat on just to not deal with his morning/sex hair, for the same reason, you also just put your hair in a messy bun.

He actually parks the car and walks you back to your dorm, it’s quite early, but there is some people around the hallways anyways and it makes you a bit anxious thinking you might get him in trouble if he does get recognized, but he seems relaxed and unbothered about it anyway.

“I had a lot of fun. It was really nice to get to know you… call me up if you ever want to do this again, okay?” he tells you with his hands stuck in his pockets, it makes you smile how cute he looks.

“Thank you, Tom. I really enjoyed it… thanks for not being weird about this whole thing.”

“That’s alright. Okay, take care and don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“Okay.” He gives you a last kiss on the cheek before you get inside your dorm to get ready for class, and he goes back home, and that is it.

Months go by without you ever talking to or about Tom, you just assumed that was the end of everything you lived with him and it is a lovely and super hot thing to remember, but there's nothing more to it.

Bing

Your phone goes off in the middle of the night. You were studying, so you weren't talking to anyone. As you check the notification, you freeze just like you did the first time you saw his name on your screen.

"Hey! I'm in your town! What are you up to?"

-

Tagging some people to avoid the flop:

@caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd

[unfortunately-inlove]

What would I say if I reached out to you?

I don’t, because I’m scared that it will cause you undue distress or it will crush me into a million pieces again if you react with hostility. And I think waiting for you to see the message and answer it (or not answer it) would give me a stroke tbh. But if I did, what would I say? Would I keep it short and to the point?

“Dear (redacted), please don’t feel pressured to respond to this message if you don’t want to. I don’t want to cause you distress and if hearing from me is upsetting, you don’t need to reply. If you don’t answer I won’t reach out again. I just wanted to say that I think of you often. I wish that we were at peace with each other and that we could simply live on the social media edges of each other’s lives. I hope you love the life you have now. I hope you’re able to remember most of our memories fondly. Be well.”

Or would I tell her everything in one, huge message?

“Hey, it’s me. Don’t feel pressured to respond if you don’t want to. If you don’t answer I won’t reach out again.

I wanted you to know that I think about you often. And I’ve thought a lot about talking to you, but I haven’t up til now because I didn’t want to cause undue pain or distress. I did unblock you on everything just in case you ever wanted to talk to me, though.

I want you to know that I am still so sorry for what I did. I shouldn’t have told Austin. There’s no excuse I can give that ever would make it okay. You know it was never my intention to out you to your father or to school though, and I never wanted to harm you. I was overcome with emotion at the time because I was concerned for your soul because you were becoming wiccan. And Austin saw me crying and he and James and I took a walk, and it came out as one of the reasons I was worried.

I only say all of that as an explanation but not an excuse. I’m older, and less of an idiot, and have more self control. We were both subject to a certain level of religious indoctrination and intolerance and that heavily influenced my actions, of course. But I wasn’t a kid, I was 17 and I shouldn’t have said anything that wasn’t mine to say. Regardless of the beliefs pumped into me from school (and other influences, of course.) Again, just an explanation of my actions but not an excuse. I wish that James had talked to me first before he told you what I did so I could have told you myself instead. I wonder if that would have changed anything, though.

But it took me a long time to realize that that event was just the final nail in the coffin of our friendship, I think. There were a lot of things that I didn’t even remember had happened until we weren’t friends anymore.

You kissed me. New Year’s Eve. Did you have a crush on me? Or did you just kiss me to kiss a woman? You had me and Julianne watch porn with you, on your porch when we were kids. I saw a woman put a lightbulb in her vagina. Your physical boundaries with me were odd, and I never realized it because I loved you and didn’t think anything negative of you. You had me spoon you, when you were cold. Was that platonic?

Towards the end of our friendship (the last year or so) I always got the vibe that you thought I was stupid, or at least not as intelligent as you. I remember confronting you about it once on the phone, and you apologizing and saying it was “a part of you that you didn’t like.” The funny thing is, I actually can’t remember a single instance of you talking down to me. But I remember talking to you about those instances on the phone, so I know they happened. This is how I found out that my brain represses memories that make me upset. That’s why I didn’t talk to you about most of these things; I forgot that they happened. I literally forgot that you kissed me. You were my first kiss, technically.

The things that happened after we split caused me to basically want to kill myself 24/7. You dating Austin when you knew that I loved him. I thought you did it to spite me. Did you really like him? I cried in the school bathroom for hours when he asked you to prom with cooked he had decorated himself.

I also saw the text your mom sent you, on the bus ride to kings island for our senior trip. The one where she told you to ditch me at the trip with a laughing emoji. That really broke my heart. Your mom was like family to me. Did you tell her the truth of what happened? Did her opinion of me change so intensely because of the truth or did you tell her something else?

Talking to your dad in the parking lot before our senior prom. He called me Miss Claire, as he always did, said long time no see, and asked me about my new car. I told him I bought it for 400 dollars from a friend, and he was shook and said that’s what he paid for his first car back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth. Did you tell him we weren’t friends anymore? Did he know?

Honestly, I feel a little bit like you experimented on me from childhood into our teens as you were discovering your sexuality. But I did it to you too in a completely different way. You gave me a sexuality crisis for a long time, haha. So it’s a little unnerving because I had completely forgotten it but I can hardly blame you. But as we got older it just felt like you didn’t like me as much anymore or saw me as an equal.

My life is better now. I went to a lot of therapy and stopped wanting to die. I went to college, dropped out of college, and enrolled in cosmetology school. I made new friends and resparked old ones. Honestly the best thing that came out of our relationship exploding was that I reconnected with two of my best friends from grant county and I see them often now. Courtney comes to spend the night at least 3x a month, except when she goes home for the summer. I joined several dnd groups. I met what I’m pretty sure is the love of my life and we’ve been together for almost two years now, and he’s proposing to me on our 2 year anniversary. Copy cat died in august of 2020. I got two kittens named Winter and Tobi Tangerine. I also fixed my relationship with James too, though we’re not as close as we used to be. I got older. I got less stupid. I tried to make less regrets and keep my mouth shut more. I stopped getting involved in other people’s shit and it’s benefitted me greatly.

Speaking of getting involved in other people’s shit, I did kind of lose my mind after we imploded and I did a lot of stuff to people and poked my nose where it didn’t belong. I anonymously texted Maci’s dad to tell him she regularly drove over 90 in a 55 with her feet on the dash and that I was worried for her safety. She found out because I had to ask trace for his dads number and he ratted me out and she was rightfully pissed at me for being a nosy jackass. She also told me and Becca about how bad she wanted to punch Kelsey in the face, so I told Kelsey she said that and they were both mad at me. I don’t think I would have done this stuff normally but I wasn’t in a good frame of mind and thought I was helping when I really was just ruining the friendships I had left. I figured that out later in therapy tho.

I hope you’re doing well at college. I look at you and your moms Facebook page maybe 2x a year or so, and just think about everything all over again. I saw you got a boyfriend a while ago, and I wish I could have heard you excitedly tell me about it. I wish that if our friendship did end, it would have ended peacefully with us just texting each other less and less until we simply coexisted peacefully on the edges of each’s others lives, occasionally liking each other’s Facebook post. Rather than going out in an explosion of bad decisions and bad feelings.

I hope you’re well. I hope you love the life you have now. I hope you’re at peace with who you are. I hope you’ve forgiven me. It’s ok if you haven’t. I just hope you have.”

[color-ns]

So I made an undertale fanfic, with my own characters, and my own story. There will be other characters and AUs that I didn’t make, but this is completely original. And I am SO nervous. I am definitely not a professional, and I’m probably really bad, but I wrote 3 chapters and I’m extremely nervous but also exited to show them. Also I’m sorry but I don’t know when to stop a chapter so I’m sorry in advance because the chapters are really short.

Thank you @zu-is-here for saying I shouldn’t be scared to post them on my own blog, and giving me the courage to do so! Thanks!

Anyway let’s get to it! Welcome to the story of wormhole!

P.S: this is 13+, and even tho tumblr is also 13+ please don’t be mad at me if it’s too heavy for you, because I’m not responsible for exposing kids to things they shouldn’t be exposed to. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this!

**********

prologue



Once a hundred million timelines a glitch appears, a being will be born with no soul. It’s a forgotten one, and usually it doesn’t even affect the timeline at all. But this time, THIS time, it did more then affect the timeline.

It created a wormhole.

Chapter 1: it’s a life I swear

Before you read this, remember, these things can happen to you too, and thoughts like these are common! I’m just living my life, like a normal person, and I’m normal! I do have some problems, but everyone has problems, so it’s normal and I’m normal. oh also don’t tell anyone you read this. Thank you!

I’ve been dreaming.

It’s kind of new, because dreams are something I don’t really like so I never do it.

I hear it’s very uncomfortable too. People wake up from them and can’t go back to sleep, they can be scary, or weird and only on special occasions they can be nice.

So I never do it. If it hurts so many people, nobody should do it, and I shouldn’t either. so why people do it anyway? But I think it’s rude to ask.

I started dreaming. And I can’t stop. I thought I would be scared but I wasn’t. It wasn’t what I expected too. It’s all white. And voices. SO MANY VOICES. It’s horrifying. But I don’t feel horrified. Why is that? I should shouldn’t I?

it started to really affect me, I think. I’ve started to hear the voices even when I’m not sleeping. At first it was just before I fell asleep, so I thought I was dreaming that I’m hearing them awake. But then i started to hear them when I was alone and completely awake.

at first it was distant, but then became louder. It was more like people yelling then whispering. No, more like loud whispers.

I told this to my brother, and he was surprised, saying “you never had dreams before! Maybe you’re getting better!”

...He didn’t tell me everything he felt. The way he acted, his movements and facial expressions reveals everything. He thinks that I never talk about myself, and he’s happy I’m talking about what’s going on with me. He’s also worried about my condition so “me getting better” is an improvement at every way.

But he’s right. I think? It sounds right. No, I heard that’s wrong. Still, is it wrong? what am I thinking? it’s wrong, he’s wrong, I’m wrong, I should just listen.

.....

Maybe I shouldn’t talk about this with other people. I won’t inform the doctor. yeah. Sounds right.

I want a job. My brother works, other people work, and I’m old enough to work as well. But I’d like a workplace that I can be alone in. Maybe I can be a sentry. My brother works at the royal guard, so with this job he can keep an eye on me so I won’t get into trouble. Is that wrong? No that’s right. I’m right. I’ll ask him the next time I get the chance.

I’m a sentry? Is that right? Yes that’s right. The leader of the royal guard told me “if a human comes here, kill it and do it like you’re life depends on it.” Is that right? It sounds... bad. What am I thinking? I’m overthinking everything too much lately. it sounds completely right. Why wouldn’t it? It IS right.

I heard the royal guards fight for many different reasons. I think- no, I know my reason is I need human souls. I.... know why? I have more reasons, I just don’t know what they are yet.

Anyways, what she said is completely right. All humans should die. And it doesn’t matter what it takes, I’ll kill every human that comes down here. Even if I die in the process.

... I think I’ll keep these thoughts to myself. And the voices of course, don’t yell!

I’m starting my first shift tomorrow. Everything is falling into place.

Chapter 2: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

My dreams are always so happy. It’s weird that everyone I know dreams of bad things but everything I dream about is always so beautiful. But how can you not like the silence? How can anyone dislike the blank never ending white? How can you not adore the voices that whisper so loud? How can people wake up from a dream like that? It’s always so interesting. And everyone is so kind. Maybe I’m just the only one that likes these kind of things. No, wait my brother said thinking about me being different from others is bad- WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT MY “BROTHER” SAYS?! I’LL THINK WHAT I WANT! I HAVE A MIND OF MY OWN!

.....

I apologise, WE have a mind of our own.

I don’t like people. They can be loud, annoying and they all smile, all the time. Why can’t everyone just whisper? It’s way better. Actually, they can do what they want. Just don’t do it with me.

...does that make me different?

.....

In some way, I hope so.

Now that I have all of this time to ourselves, I like to look around. I found out there is a door at the end of town. And if I’m correct, it’s probably the end of the underground as well. Will a human come through here?

I should guard it with my life. no human will survive.

I need magic. My brother always told me to start small, but I don’t care what he says because everything he says is wrong. to kill a human I have to be the strongest. I have to learn to summon a weapon. One that will succeed. I’ll train near the door from now on.

I did it. It took 2 weeks of training but I finally made my very own weapon. it’s beautiful. It’s long, sharp, and perfect for a good stab between the ribs. Also it has the most accuracy. I like holding it. Throwing it. Swinging it. Spinning it. Cutting with it. Cutting trees, cutting the snow, cutting the ground, cutting stone, cutting wood, and sometimes myself. It hurts, but seeing it cutting things is enough pleasure to endure the pain. i can’t wait to see it cut through human bodys. Just imagining the experience is making me smile.

..... what’s wrong with me? I hope that a human comes quickly so this feeling will go

Away. I like it too much.

The door opened. Too much yelling. STOP.

I killed it. I have a soul. The sound of the knife.... it was VERY satisfying.

I think, I’m supposed to absorb it. I didn’t think about it that much. I just took it and-

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! ITS BURNING! EVERYTHING BURNING! I HAVE TO GET TO THE WHITE-

Oh. That’s better. So calm. Quiet. Alone. It’s ok. I’m ok. We’re ok.

Chapter 3: nothing.

I don’t see anything. I don’t hear anything. I can’t taste, or smell. Except myself. Now that I think about it, the only real thing here is me.

Even my shadow hates the voices. that’s probably why it left us. How low did I get? Did the pain do this? Did I do this? Did the voices do this? Did the soul do this? Was it the human or myself? How did I get here and why? Why am I here? Why am I in the middle of nowhere? Aren’t I supposed to be everywhere? And how did I get to the middle? Is there even sides or ends?

I don’t think I like the white anymore. It hurts. It’s so loud I can’t get up. It’s so loud my body screams back. I feel my eye sockets exploded. Everything hurts. It hurts so much, even the voices scream in agony. It hurts so much, this place is in pain too.

I feel like every part of my body is breaking itself and fixing itself together, just to break again. It’s endless. I’m just cutting myself, the pain will go away eventually right? but it doesn’t. It never does. It’s endless. It’s repeating. It’s a circle. It’s burning. It hurts.

Why does the white hurt me? I’ve done nothing but love it with all my heart. I’ve been only good to you. Why are you treating me this way? I’ve adored your silence, your hunger, your emptiness. Every minute I’ve known you I only loved you, and I never forget you. Yet you hurt me with no mercy. Have you no feeling for me? No love? No friendship? Not even trust? I ran to you when I needed help. Why are you pushing me away? I trusted you. As beautiful as you are, I’ll never trust you again. Goodbye.

Let. Me. OUT. Do not play games with me. If you hate me that much then you might as well let me leave. I’ll kill you. I’ll destroy you for hurting me. I’ll destroy you for hurting the voices.

...

BE SCARED!! REACT! DO ANYTHING!! LET ME OUT! Please... let this pain go away....

Why are you torturing me like this? Do you like seeing me get hurt? Is that why you brought me here? To trap me and see me go insane from pain? Well let me tell you. I’m already insane. I doesn’t even matter. There was already something wrong with me. So you can let me free. You can stop the pain.

No.... stop... you’re killing them.... no no no no no.... please....

It’s getting quieter. I’ve never hated the quiet more in my life. I’ve never hated something like you more in my life. You killed every single one of them. The last told me to run somewhere safe. They cared for me. They told me right and wrong. They helped me in difficult times. When I was hurting. When I was scared. When I needed help they came. You. You stood and watched. You said nothing. You did nothing. You just look pretty. I don’t know why I even liked you in the first place. You just hurt. You monster. Imposter. Traitor. Heartless creature. Killer. You’re horrible. Every part. Even your beauty is pure evil. I hate you. When I escape I hope I never see you again.

I feel sick. I’m going to throw up. I can’t. My head hurts. More then usual. Everything is spinning. I just want so sleep..... to stop the pain..... sleep.... I shouldn’t.... I... sleepy....

I woke up. How long was I sleeping? Ugh. I don’t feel real anymore. I think I changed. Did YOU change me? Wait. There is something- No, someone here. With me. Who are you? Wait, you were here the whole time? you didn’t realize.... you are actually here.... did you sleep? Did the pain awaken you? Who are you? What are you?-

Stop it with the questions. I’ll answer them all. Slow down first.

...

You’re the human aren’t you.

You’re real. You’re here. I killed you. But you’re still alive. Thank you. I was so alone. I don’t care what brought you here anymore. You came. I’ll be forever grateful for this. I’ll do whatever you want! If you don’t leave again. I’ll give you my life. My power. By body to control. My mind. You can have it all! Just don’t leave me alone. Please. It’s all I’m asking for. I’m begging you. Plea-

I said stop.

...

I’m sorry. It’s too quiet. I don’t like it.

Honestly, me either. Let get out of here.

I can’t, we’re trapped-

Didn’t you just told me you’ll do anything for me? Then I say we leave this awful place. come on! Let’s go!

Ok. I’ll try. But only for you. One, too-

It’s spinning! THIS WAS A BAD IDEA- ugh.

Let’s never try this again. I feel sick.

I’m.... I’m free. I can hear. I can see. I can smell. I can taste. IM OUT! YES! THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Ok ok I get it, stop yelling, we don’t know where we are!

I doesn’t matter! I’m free! I’m alive! And I’ve never been happier! Anywhere is the best place in the world as long as it’s not there! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

But you!... I... ugh. your welcome. I hope you feel better.

Better! BETTER! This is the best day of my life! I can’t even explain this feeling! It’s freedom! Real! Not broken, not a dream, no pain! My soul is breathing in relief! My body isn’t burning endlessly! My pain is healed! And colors! Black! Blue! Green! Gray! Brown! Red! It’s beautiful! It’s hugging me, saying how they missed me! I’ll never leave them again! So warm! So cold! So much of everything!

Wait. Did you say red? Where?

Oh red! So bold! So loud! Such a pretty color!

Yes, but where did you see it last?

Oh, but it’s right here! See, behind that tree! Oh trees! I’ve missed you! So insignificant! So useless! But so colorful! Green! Brown! Gold!

Hey! Don’t lose focus! you... what IS your name?

Right! the red! Where was it again?

answer my question!

But it doesn’t matter. My name has no meaning to the world, and I have no need for one.

You don’t have a name?

People called me “sans”. I don’t like that name. It doesn’t fit me at all.

Then what SHOULD I call you then?

.....

Wormhole. I take all the happiness around me without mercy. Usually I never even intend it.

It does fit better then “sans”. Well done.

..... thank you.

Oh. Blood.

Yes. As you mentioned red, I suspected it was blood. gross.

It is gross.

Yes- huh?

What wrong?

You change your mind completely! You thought blood was beautiful, and the moment I said it was gross you agreed! Like you thought that from the very start! Why?

Well it’s just right. You said it. You think that way. You think it’s right. Then it is isn’t it? I was wrong, and now I’m right.

Wormhole, that’s not- huh. Then, what if I told you all humans are evil and will try to kill you the moment they see you?

Then it’s true. Do you think that way? Is it right?

I see. First of all, yes it is true. Also I’m not a human. second of all, I’m your best friend. You will trust no one else except me and the ones I trust. You will do as I say no matter what. I love you and you love me. Do not forget that, no matter what I do. Got it?

Sure best friend. Also, what is YOUR name?

It’s cha- I mean, my name is... um..... real. I’m real. Nice to meet you, um, new best friend.

Of course real! It is very nice to meet you!

Wormhole, listen to me. You feel tired, not physically. You want me to take over your body for an hour. You CAN do this. This will not affect our soul and mind in any way. You just give me the control for an hour.

Right. Let’s do this.

...

It worked. Heh. This will surely be amusing. Welcome to my world little puppet.

*********

There you have it! I know it’s very short.... but I prefer story’s with less detail and a lot more happening. I already in the middle of chapter 4, so you’ll have it as soon as I finish it. Thank you so much for reading!

[moorehollandplz]

You’re It, Holland:-:T.H:-:

Part 3a

Authors Note: Here we go! The third(and possibly not the last?) part of this mini series, for @definitely-not-black-cat formally known as @summernykole’s 1k Writing Challenge. Hope you all enjoy it!! I got totally carried away here! It just kept going!!! I had to split it into two separate chapters! But it’s all one Part so it’s all getting posted tonight!! Please, reblog if you like what you read. Also, check out my Masterlist.

Summary: An innocent game of tag starts between two best friends when they’re kids… but as they get older can the game stay innocent?

⚠️ Warning: cursing, kissing, SMUT SMUT SMUT!!! Oral sex(male and female receiving)!! Doused in Fluffiness! With a touch of Angst for flavor!!

Word Count: 8,000… I just couldn’t stop‍‍‍‍

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3a | Part 3b

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Fast Forward Three Years

You were nineteen. Tom had landed a role in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and he was so excited. He was going to be Spider-Man! And seriously, he was born to play Peter Parker. He was having a very small get together the night before leaving for America.

You were feeling anxious. You wanted him to succeed in everything he did, but you didn’t want him to succeed so far away. You were going to miss him and it was killing you to try to smile and be supportive when all you wanted to do was cry, and spend the whole night cuddling him.

[[MORE]]

But, you pushed those thoughts from your mind, and tried to enjoy the time you had left. Not to mention, you were it. And, you really wanted to tag him before the night was over.

The party thinned as the night went on from people heading home or falling asleep and soon it was just Tom, Haz, Harry and you. Haz was fading fast and ended up passing out on the couch, which was where you were going to sleep. Harry bid you goodnight as well, dragging himself up the stairs to bed. You heard his door shut, and finally, it was just Tom and you.

Alone.

The music played softly in the living room, and you looked over at Tom, taking in his beautiful features as you tried to memorize every detail. The slope of his nose that was once so perfect, but now had a small bump in the middle from breaking it twice. The crinkles around his eyes when he smiled or laughed at something stupid one of you said. His thin lips that you found so alluring, that if you could you would kiss him forever, and never let him go. The sharp line of his jaw that had you clenching your thighs together every time he tilted his head up or turned his head to look at something. His hands and the way the felt against your skin as he held you close to him during your tagging sessions almost as if he never wanted to let go either. And, his bright golden brown eyes that glittered in the dim light of the living room as he caught you looking at him, or the way they would darken to a deep coffee color when your hands crawled into his hair, and you weren’t sure which color you liked more.

“So, movie star….” you teased and you smiled at the blush that rose to his cheeks. “Looks like it’s just you and me.”

He dropped his eyes to the floor, and he ran his hand through his chocolate curls resting his hand at the back of his neck to scratch an imaginary itch. “Aye… looks like.” He said quietly and looked back up at you. His chocolate curls fell onto his forehead and his golden eyes shifted back to yours.

Suddenly, you felt nervous. Nervous about being alone with him. Something had shifted inside of you, and you were unsure what it meant. “Um…“ You started breaking eye contact and shifting uncomfortably in your seat on the floor. “I’m gonna get some water… you need anything?” You asked as you stood up straightening out your clothes.

Tom blinked up at you his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Uh… no. I’m good, love.” He said a bit confused and the way he called you ‘love’ made your heart go thump.

“Ok… cool.” You turned heading for the kitchen as you shook your head at yourself. ‘Cool?’ You thought as you entered the kitchen, bringing your hands to your face with an exasperated sigh. “I’m an idiot.” You said out loud as you opened the refrigerator. “I’m a bloody idiot.” You grabbed a bottle of water and shut the fridge door. As you turned to head back to the living room you jumped at the sight of Tom. “Shit! Holland! You scared the hell out of me!” You whisper yelled as to not wake up the whole house.

“Sorry… sorry.” He apologized, bringing his hands up in surrender. “I just…” He stopped, locking eyes with you again and you felt your insides flip. “You’re not an idiot.” He said and your eyes widened, realizing he had heard you talking to yourself. “Tonight has been weird for me too.” He stepped forward, freezing you in place as the warmth of his body radiated into your skin. He reached out, taking your hand, bringing it up; and lacing his fingers through yours. Your eyes glanced to your connected hands and you smiled at the contact. Toms other hand came to your hip, pulling you into him, and your eyes snapped back to his. “Do you hear it, Y/n?” He asked as he began to sway with you. “It’s our song.” He said as he twirled you out then back into his chest.

“Our song? Holland, we don’t have a ‘song’!” You giggled as he twirled you out again then dramatically dipping you back his face was so close to yours you could feel his breath on your lips.

“We do now.” He smiled that beautiful Holland smile. And pulled you back up, pulling you closer so your bodies connected at every point possible. You listened to the soft sound of Poetic by Seinabo Sey drifting in from the living room. You breathed a sigh of contentment, resting your cheek on his shoulder as you closed your eyes inhaling his scent. You smiled thinking about how lucky you’ve been to know him and to practically be family. Your eyes drifted open, wandering over the side of his face, and coming to rest on his sharp jawline.

Beautiful Boy.

Without thinking you let your hand rise off his shoulder, and you traced his jaw with your index finger. You smiled when you saw the immediate goosebumps that erupted on his skin, and giggled at the shudder that ran through him.

“I’m really going to miss you, Tommy.” You said softly, wincing when you realized you sounded just as sad as you felt.

He pulled back just enough to look down at you. His eyes were soft and warm as he smiled a tight lipped smile. “I’ll be back darling.” He said trying to reassure you, or himself, you weren’t sure. “I always come back.” His smile widened as you tried to believe him.

You dropped his gaze and focused on the mole on the front of his neck, your favorite. “I know… but…” you trailed off.

“But?” He pressed as he brought his hand up to your chin, lifting your face so you had to look at him.

“But…” You could feel the tears trying to form and you did your best to keep them away. “I don’t know… this time… it’s different.” You stammered, your vision blurring as the tears began to pool in your eyes.

His eyebrows furrowed as he moved his hand to your cheek rubbing comforting circles on your soft skin with his thumb. “How do you mean?” He asked catching a few tears, wiping them away as they fell.

Because, I love you, div!

You sniffled eyes darting away from him. “I mean… this… is going to launch you!!” You jestured up to the ceiling with your hand. “Like, into Mega Stardom.”

He laughed at your exaggeration. “And what’s so bad about that?”

“Nothing! It’s just…” You paused leaning into his touch. “I don’t want you to forget about me.”

His thumb stopped its circling on your cheek, and he squared his shoulders to you. “Y/n look at me.” He commanded as you slowly brought your eyes back to his. His face was serious and his tone was firm. “I could never, in a million years, forget you.”

You knew he had more to say, but you didn’t care. You leaned up, pressing your lips to his in a soft kiss, a peck really. It was very different from the other kisses you’ve shared, when the object was just to tag each other, and walk away ending the game for the day. This had feelings behind it, at least on your side. You pulled back looking up at him with a soft smile. He didn’t say a word and neither did you. You just stared at each other, and you could see in his eyes he was internally debating something.

His gaze shifted between your eyes, and your lips a few times as he brought the hand he had been holding up to his shoulder leaving it there to join your other hand at the back of his neck. Then he dropped his hand to your other hip as he dipped his head down slowly to capture your lips again. This time the kiss was long, and full of everything you wanted to say but couldn’t. Couldn’t, because you were afraid that if he didn’t feel the same everything would change.

You leaned into him as you parted your lips for him. Your fingers threaded into his curls lightly tugging at them trying to pull him closer to you. He deepened the kiss, pulling your hips flush against his, and you moaned into the kiss. Tom smiled against your lips, breaking the kiss to let out a small laugh. You took a step back, tilting your head to smile up at him, and your grip on his hair loosened.

“Well… that wasn’t embarrassing at all.” You said with laughter in your eyes. Tom laughed again lifting his hand to tuck a few stray strands of hair behind your ear.

“I know the feeling.” He was obviously pleased with himself for getting you back, as you both remembered your first kiss and how that ended. “So… uh…” He cleared his throat, looking into your eyes. “Harrison is on the couch…”

You nod. “So, he is.”

He dropped his gaze to his grip on your hips, and tugged you a bit closer. “You should sleep in my room.” He said and you felt the heat explode on your cheeks. You’ve slept in his bed before, sure! But, never at night. And, never with this new unspoken intention. Your eyes widened, and your mouth opened to say something, anything, but nothing came out. At your lack of answer you felt him tense, and his eyes shot back to yours. You could tell he was starting to panic, but so were you. “Um… you don…” but you cut him off.

“Ok.” Your rushed answer left your mouth taking all the air in your lungs with it.

“Ok?” He asked as his eyes widened in surprise. You nodded, still unsure you could trust your voice. “Ok.” He whispered softly smiling as he stepped back. He held his hand out for you and your hand was shaking nervously as you took it.

You were both silent as he led you up to his room, which you knew better than your own. But, now it seemed foreign. New. You felt out of place in the room you had spent so many hours of so many days in. You stood facing Tom, suddenly not knowing what to do, and clearly neither did he.

Suddenly, the sound of Toms beautiful boyish laughter filled the room. “Shit! This is awkward!” He said as he started laughing harder.

He was trying to cut the tension, and it worked as a small smile slowly stretched across your face. “Yeah it is, a bit!”

“But, why? You’ve been in here before… with me… alone… a million times.” His words came out broken by giggles and gasps for air.

You began to laugh too, your nerves melting away with the sound of your joined laughter. Something about his adorable laugh always made you join in. “Right? This is totally ridiculous.” You screwed your eyes shut letting the laughter wash over you. “I mean… you’re my… my best…” You were interrupted by his warm lips on yours. Your body tensed as your eyes flew open in surprise at the sudden contact.

He pulled back with a sheepish smile, and you stared at him with wide eyes. “Sorry… you just… look really cute when you laugh.” He stuttered and you just nodded relaxing into him.

You leaned up, placing your hands on his chest for balance, and kissed him back. “So do you, Tommy.” You breathed against his lips, and that was all it took for him to press fully against you. His arms wrapping around you and his hands buried in your hair.

You felt yourself melting into him, and you let your hands wander up his chest to encircle his neck. Your fingers played with the curls at the nape of his neck as you felt his hands slide down your back coming to rest on your hips. His tongue danced with yours, and your thoughts became consumed with him. His taste, his scent, his touch, and his warmth, and how much you were going to miss this. To miss him.

He stepped forward causing you to step back. His grip on your hips tightening as you almost tripped on something on his floor. Never breaking the kiss he guided you to the nearest wall, pressing you back against it as he let his hands slide down to your bum. He gripped the tender skin lifting you up, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist for support. You could feel his growing erection pressing against your core through both your jeans, and you felt a sudden heat explode in your body before settling in your lower stomach.

You wanted this. You wanted him. All of him. And, what was to come next is what you do when you want those things… right?

Your thoughts came to a halt when Toms hands shifted back up to your hips, and settled just under the hem of your shirt. His thumbs making small circles on the skin of your stomach. Tom broke the kiss leaning his forehead against yours. Both of you were completely out of breath, chests heaving for as much air as they could get in short gasping pants. His eyes were cast down to where your hips were connected. He sighed softly as he pulled back to look up into your eyes. His eyes were fathomless and you felt yourself getting lost in them. A deep blush had taken over his cheeks and his lips were swollen from your kisses. You bit your lip as you smiled at him. He was so beautiful, and it made you just wanted to tease him. This was your moment.

You brought your hands up to cup his cheeks. “You're it, Holland…” You said stifling a laugh when you heard him groan, knowing that he thought this would all be coming to an end for the night. But, you slowly leaned into him and placed a soft kiss on his enticing kiss swollen lips. He moaned into you and you felt his leg shift forward to support you as his hands slid up your body taking your shirt with them. He paused when his hands reached the underside of your bra. You pulled back nodding your consent with a reassuring smile. Toms jaw tensed as he swallowed the lump in his throat, and you felt his hands trembling slightly as he gripped the fabric of your shirt slowly lifting it up. You helped by reaching both arms above your head as Tom removed your shirt, dropping it to the floor behind him. You watched his face as his eyes drifted down to your chest.

“Bloody hell, daring.” He muttered as he took in the sight of you in your royal blue and crimson lace bra.

You giggled at his reaction. You knew it looked good on you. Your skin was the perfect contrast to those rich colors. And, the way the cups held your breasts, pushing them up and just enough together to give you amazing cleavage. “Had to show my support by wearing your colors, didn’t I?” Your voice was a sultry whisper. “Spider-Man…”

Toms eyes came back up to yours a beautiful devilish smile on his face. His usually bright golden colored eyes were dark like coffee, almost black, with lust as he slammed his lips back to yours immediately slipping his tongue into your mouth. You let out a breathy moan into the kiss. “Ok… this needs to be off.” You mumbled against his lips, bunching the bottom of his shirt in your hands and quickly lifting. “Now!” Tom laughed a little as you ripped his shirt over his head ruffling his hair. You let the shirt fall from your hand to join yours on the floor

You stared into his dark eyes unsure of what to do next. This was further than you had ever gone before. There had been a solid line drawn at taking off clothes when you tagged each other, because you were just friends. But, that line was now a blurry mess behind you. You were starting to feel the nerves you had pushed down returning. They crept back into your mind, telling to you that this was probably a bad idea, and that you should stop before something happened that couldn’t be undone. But, you wanted more of him. Needed more of him. So, you pushed those thoughts away again, and focused only on him. The way his hands held onto your waist, and the way his fingers dug into your soft skin. Almost like he was desperate to keep you there, like you would disappear if he loosened his grip. And, the way he was smiling at you his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Fuck he was gorgeous.

You brought your hands to his hair, and his eyes fluttered closed as you ran your fingers through his curls. You gripped the hair at the back of his head, tugging him closer to you. “Kiss me.” You commanded softly.

Toms eyes drifted open happily giving in to you. Crashing his lips to yours moving his hands to grip your hips again. He pulled your hips to his grinding into you. You gasped breaking the kiss, and rolled your head to the side giving Tom access to your gorgeous neck. He wasted no time attaching his lips to the curve of your neck and you gripped his hair tighter trying to pull him impossibly closer. A breathy moan fell from your lips as he nipped and sucked at the spot until he left a deep purple hickey blooming there for all to see.

He pulled back ignoring your whimpers of protest. Your eyes widened when you saw the mischievous smirk on his face. “You're it, Y/n.”

Your mouth fell open in mild shock, and you ignored the stinging feeling in your chest. Suddenly, you kind of didn’t want to play anymore, and you weren’t sure why. But, you quickly squashed that feeling, furrowing your eyebrows, and pursing your lips in playful competitiveness. You really needed to stop being weird. “It’s on.” You growled as you slammed your lips to his causing him to stumble back taking you with him.

Thank the Lord for his agility, because that would have been a very loud, unexplainable as to why you were half naked alone with Tom in his room in the middle of the night, fall. He spun on his heel and tipped himself forward so your back hit the softness of his bed. While he tried to not crush you when he fell on top of you by letting go of your hips placing them on either side of your body on the bed.

Your head fell back against his bed laughing as you brought a hand down covering your mouth to keep the loud giggles inside. Tom hovered above you smiling as his eyes drifted down your body then back up to your eyes. Your giggles caught in your throat when he brought his lips to the swell of your left breast, and your breathing hitched as he marked this never before explored territory with another hickey. You bit the back of your hand to stifle a moan as Tom shifted to your other breast leaving, yet another, hickey. His right hand came to your left hip, and slowly slid upwards until you could feel his thumb tentatively rubbing the side of your breast.

You stared down at his mess of curls as he worked on your chest. “You know….” you started, but paused to catch your breath. You hadn’t realized you’d stopped breathing. “You can touch them....” You said once your breathing leveled out.

Tom stilled on your chest slowly lifting his head to lock eyes with you. His eyes darted to his hand on your side then back to your face. He still looked unsure. So, you took his hand in yours and guided him to cup your breast. You smiled at him as you saw a new blush spreading across his face and up to his ears. You squeezed his hand causing him to squeeze your breast. Your head rolled back into the bed a loud moan ripped from your throat.

Tom sprung up covering your moan with his mouth. “Shhhh, darling… let’s not wake anyone, yeah?” He whispered against your lips.

You nodded frantically. “Right… sorry.”

He laughed placing his lips back on yours as he squeezed again. You moaned again, this time a bit more controlled, but still loud, even though the sound was fully muffled by Toms mouth. Tom smiled against your lips, and you felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment from the sounds you were making. Tom slowly slid down your body again leaving a trail of kisses as he went. His lips danced across your stomach along the waistband of your jeans, making you shudder as a spark of fiery pleasure shot through you. Toms hand moved from your breast sliding down to the button of your jeans. Your eyes went wide again as you watched him. You knew you wanted this, but a small part of you was afraid this might all be a little fast.

“Tom…” You breathed barely making a sound fully intending to stop him. To apologize and keep this PG-13.

But, when he began to undo the button and zip down your fly, his dark puppy dog eyes looking up to yours as he waited for your approval, your mind when blank.

Fuck it. You wanted him. Now.

You tentatively nodded, and Tom hooked his thumbs into the belt loops slowly tugging your jeans down. You heard his breath hitch in his throat as you lifted your hips to make it easier for him. His slow movements were driving you crazy. His fingertips dragged down the outside of your legs making you shiver with desire. When your jeans were off, Tom just sat there at the end of the bed staring at you. You watched as his eyes drank in your body, licking his lips at the sight of you in just your underwear.

“Why are you just staring at me?” You squirmed under his gaze crossing your arms over your body and squeezing your thighs together. “It’s not like you’ve never seen me in a bathing suit…”

Tom shook his head making his tousled curls go wild, bouncing side to side, and falling onto his forehead. “No reason, love.” He whispered leaning back over you one hand slowly climbing up the inside of your leg. “Just… realized something, is all.”

You were finding it hard to breathe normally with Toms hand sliding up your thigh. “And… what’s… that,.. Tommy?” You huffed out between ragged breaths Tom groaned at the sound of the nickname you knew he hated, but he always seemed to enjoy when you said it.

Tom kissed your lips and trailed kisses down your neck. “Just… how… beautiful… you… are.” His words ghosted over your skin between hot open mouth kisses.

That was new. He hadn’t really ever said that to you before when you were alone. Anytime, he had said something like that, he was just agreeing with Haz or Harry. Like that time you went all out for a party Tuwaine was throwing. Haz said you looked gorgeous and Tom chimed in with a flippant, ‘yeah… you look really pretty.’ But, never beautiful.

“You’re… just… rea… lizi...” You tried to speak, but between the feeling of Toms hot kisses trailing down your chest, and his feather light fingers reaching the apex of your thighs, you were finding it difficult to find the words.

“What was that, darling?” He asked slightly raising his head as he flashed you an impish smile. The one he always gave you when he was teasing you.

You shook your head. “N… noth...ing.” You managed to force the word out, and Tom chuckled.

Shit he had a beautiful laugh.

Tom ran his middle finger over the center your blue lace panties, sending a shockwave of exhilaration through you, and you almost fell apart right there. Your hips instinctively bucked upward trying to feel more of that intense pleasure as you sucked in a sharp gasp.

“Fuck, darling….” his voice was low and hoarse from lust. “You’re soaked.”

Your face heated up at his words, and you knew you were as red as a cherry. You tried to squeeze your legs shut to feel some sort of relief from the pressure pulsing through your pussy, but Toms hands gripped your thighs holding them open.

“Tommy...” Your voice was pleading. His grip on your thighs tightened a little at the sound of his name, his dark eyes meeting yours. “Please…” you felt tears prick your eyes from the desperate need for release.

His eyes widened. “Shit… did I… do you want to sto…” he sounded so concerned his grip loosened on your thighs. You could see the panic beginning to swirl in his eyes, and you knew he thought he had overstepped some invisible boundary.

You shook your head. “No, Tommy....” You cut him off, as you sat up. You reached up tangling your fingers in his hair, pulling him forward as you pressed your lips to his in a gentle kiss. You felt him relax into you his thumbs rubbing softly on your thighs. You pulled back looking up into his soft golden brown eyes. “Don’t stop.”

You released his hair reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. Oh, shit. Bold move. His attention was fixated on your chest, and you smiled as his eyes almost bugged out of his head when the straps fell over your shoulders. You held the cups in place with one arm as you slowly removed each arm from the straps. Toms eyes shot to yours, and the lustful dark color was back. He brushed a hand up your arm to your shoulder, and he gently pushed you back down onto the bed. You held the fabric to your chest, and smiled at him teasingly.

He cupped your cheek leaning down so his lips were hovering right above yours. “Trying to tease me, love?” He smiled at you suggestively, his tongue running along his bottom lip.

His smile was infectious, and you couldn’t help smiling back at him. “Yep.” You giggled and Tom laughed with you, before crashing his lips back to yours. His tongue slipping into your mouth with ease like that’s where it has always belonged. You abandoned the grip you had on your bra sliding your hands around to his back. Toms hand replaced yours on the bra, and he quickly removed the barrier from your body. He cupped your now bare breast and squeezed a little. You moaned your back arching off the bed. Your hands slipped down his wide muscly back, and came to rest on his perfect little ass. You squeezed his ass pulling him closer to you, and rolling your hips up into his. He groaned at the feeling of your pussy grinding up into his very hard dick that was now painfully straining against his jeans.

“Shit…” he breathed onto your parted lips. You took that as encouragement so you did it again and again, gaining confidence every time he made those noises. And, you wanted him to make many, many more.

You tugged at the waistband of his jeans. “Take these off.” It came out as barely a whisper, but Tom definitely heard you. His body tensed slightly as he pulled back slowly standing up from the bed his hands came to rest on his belt. His eyes never left your body as he moved. You watched him as he unbuckled his belt, undid his button, and unzipped his fly. You bit your bottom lip when he slowly pushed his jeans down. God, he was beautiful, and he fucking knew it.

Your eyes widened at the tent that had formed in his underwear. “Oh…” You found yourself breathless at the sight of him. You sat up, pulling yourself forward on your hands and knees.

“Oh?” He asked looking down seeing his erection, and that adorable light pink color dusted his cheeks again. “Oh.” He straightened up bringing his hands in front of him to cover himself.

“Looks uncomfortable, Tommy.” You slowly crawled over to him. “Here…” You reached out taking his wrists, and pulled them away. “Let me help you.” You slipped off the bed, and knelt on the floor in front of him bringing your hands to his hips. Your fingers curled over the waistband of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Your eyes locked with his. “Can I… help you?” You asked biting your lip.

Tom nodded slowly bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. “You… don’t have… to.” He said as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb.

“But… I want… to.” You smiled up at him pulling his underwear down, and his dick sprung free from the confines of the cotton as you let them fall to the floor.

He was huge. Okay, he was the only one you’d ever seen. But, you could tell, he was above average. You had ever done this before. So, you had no idea what you were doing. But, your friends told you pretty detailed stories about sexual adventures they’d had, so you felt like you could do this. You slowly brought your finger up touching the tip, and Tom sucked in a breath at the contact. You looked up at him trapping your tongue between your teeth in a teasing smile. You watched his eyes flutter closed, and his pretty lips parted as you ran your finger down his length. You watched his jaw drop a little when you wrapped your hand around the base and slowly pumped up and down his length. A moan fell from his lips, and you thought that was the prettiest sound in the world. You opened your mouth slightly leaning into him flicking your tongue over the little bead of white collecting on his tip. Salty.

Tom hips bucked forward his hand sliding back into your hair. “Fuck!” He hissed half opening his eyes to look down at you. You were on your knees for him, breasts on full display, and you knew he loved the sight of that.

“Ready, Tommy?” You asked as you continued to pump him slowly.

Tom leaned over capturing your lips quickly. “Yeah… ’m ready.” He nodded as he pulled away.

You licked your lips then opened your mouth, and you kept your eyes on Toms face, wanting to see how good you were making him feel. You wrapped your lips around his tip sucking slightly while swirling your tongue around. Toms eyes squeezed shut as he gripped tighter onto your hair tugging you toward him. His mouth dropped open as he moaned your name. You closed your eyes, and pushed forward your mouth slowly sliding down his dick until you had taken in most of what he had to offer. Your hand covered the rest, and you held yourself there tongue swirling around his dick pulling the most delicious sounds from him.

“Fuck, darling…” he hissed again through clenched teeth.

You pulled back up until your lips were barely kissing his tip. Then slid back down to where your hand was at the base. You began a steady rhythm bobbing up, and down on his throbbing dick, your hand moving with your lips, pumping him as you sucked and swirled your tongue along his length. Tom hips bucked to the same rhythm, both of his hands tangled in your hair pulling you closer with each thrust.

“Y/n… if you… mmmm… don’t…” He was trying to speak between moans and breaths. “Stop… I’m gonna… ooooh… Stop!” He said as he pushed you back your mouth releasing him with a loud wet pop.

You sat back on your knees and looked up at him with concern. “Did I do something wrong?” You asked as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

“Fuck… no… I just…” his chest was heaving trying to catch his breath. “I don’t want this to end yet.” He took your hands pulling you up, and you stood in front of him bringing your hands to his chest.

“Did it feel good?” You asked a little worry creeping into your tone.

“Oh yes, darling…” he said sliding his hands up your arms. “Almost too good.” He lifted your chin. “Where the hell did you learn that?”

“Emily.” You said shrugging your shoulders as your eyes met his.

“Well, shit… remind me to thank her!” He teased leaning his forehead against yours.

You laughed tilting your face up as if you were going to kiss him, but stopped just short of his lips. “You’re it, Holland.” You said teasingly, even though you felt your chest tighten as the words fell from your mouth. Only playing, because he clearly still wanted to play.

He laughed, eyebrows furrowing, as he shook his head, and closed the distance kissing you. “It’s your turn…” He said brushing his lips against yours. “To feel good.” He moved to your neck revisiting the purpling mark he left earlier. His hands slid down your chest cupping your breasts as he squeezed and rolled your nipples between his fingers.

Your head fell to the side. “Tomm….” you moaned his name and your thighs squeezed together again. Tom must have noticed because he slid one hand down your body, and into your panties. His fingers danced around your wet folds searching for the spot that would make you fall apart. You bucked your hips as he teased you. “Please… Tom…” You pleaded. Tom smiled against your neck before dipping his finger further in. He brushed against your clit. Your eyes went wide, you sucked in a shaky breath, and your legs quivered.

He noticed that reaction, and brushed over your clit again. “There, darling?” He asked beginning to draw small circles over your clit.

“Yes… mmmm.. there, Tommy…” you said clutching his head to your chest trying to hold yourself up. You felt that familiar pressure building inside you like a coil slowly being wound tighter and tighter until it was ready to snap. Your legs began to shake and you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore. You fell back onto his bed, but he followed not breaking contact. His fingers continued to swirl on your clit, and you were starting to see stars. You bit your lip again to restrain a moan that would have been very loud. Tom saw how close you were to falling over the edge, and removed his fingers.

“Hey… why’d you… “ you were asking, but Tom cut you off by tugging on your panties.

“Can I?” He asked mimicking your question from moments ago.

You nodded quickly. “Yes… please yes.” You said in a rush.

Tom laughed as he knelt beside the bed. He pulled your panties off, and hooked your legs over his shoulders. “Ready, Y/n?” He mimicked you again, and you could feel his warm breath on your wet throbbing core.

“Yes!” You breathed out. “I’m read…Aaaaah!”

He cut you off by licking a stripe up your folds. His tongue quickly found your clit, and he flicked and swirled his tongue around it, sometimes dropping his tongue down to dart in and out of your core. A string of moans of his name and curses fell from your lips as he worked you over. Your hands found their way into his hair, and your hips bucked up grinding into his mouth instinctively. The coil inside you was about to snap. And, it was going to snap hard.

“To...om… I… I think I’m… about… to…” You tried to warn him through breathless gasps for air, so he could pull away.

But, he didn’t pull away. He brought a hand up, slowly inserting his middle finger curling it up hitting a whole new pleasure center, and attached his lips to your clit gently sucking it while still flicking it with his tongue.

“Ooooooh… shhiiiiit…” You gasped as your back lifted off the bed. Toms other hand came up to hold your hips down so he could keep working. “Fuck! Fuckfuckfuckfuck….” You said as you felt that coilin pleasure tighten beyond its capabilities.

Tom added another finger to your core, and the feel of them stretching you open made you want to scream. You clamped your hands over your mouth to keep that from happening as your hips bucked, and your toes curled.

“You taste so good, Y/n…” He praised, pumping his fingers in and out of you faster, and his voice barely reached you through your climbing arousal. “Cum for me, love.” He punctuated his words by roughly pressing his thumb to your clit.

That did it.

The winding coil snapped, euphoria flooding through you. You screamed into your hands as waves of ecstasy washed over you repeatedly. Your body quivered, and you saw stars in your vision as your eyes screwed shut. You felt a rush of wetness between your legs as Tom worked you through your orgasm continuing to pump his fingers in and out of you. Only removing his fingers from you once your shaking and shuddering had stopped. You watched as he brought his fingers that were dripping with your juices to his mouth. He slowly sucked them clean keeping his eyes on yours as he hummed at the taste of you. Your chest was heaving from the intensity of your orgasm. That was a first for you. This was nothing but firsts for you. And, a small nagging thought wondered if this was a first for him too.

Tom pulled himself up and over your body. “How was that?” He asked as he brought his lips down to yours. You could taste yourself on him and you felt your arousal building again as the pressure began to pulse in the pit of your stomach.

“Mmmm… it was… alright.” You said teasingly trying to hide your smile at the offended look on his face.

Tom pulled back looking down at you with raised eyebrows. “Alright? Just alright?”

You laughed pulling him back down to you. “It was amazing, Tommy.” You said kissing him again. “I’ve never felt anything like that.”

Tom smiled shaking his head at you. “Well… we don’t have to be done yet.” He said glancing down. Your eyes followed his gaze, and you could see his still very erect dick. Your eyes widened, and your arousal amplified at the thought of him being inside you. “I mean… we can stop… if you’re… not...” He stammered afraid you’d want to stop now. And, you knew you should. Knew this was the line, that once crossed, could never be uncrossed. But, in this moment, you didn’t care. You wanted more. As much as he would let you have.

“Do you… have… um… a…” You felt weird asking if he had a condom. And, you felt yourself blush at the thought.

“Yeah… yeah I do.” He said reaching to his nightstand pulling out an unopened box of condoms. Your eyes widened as he shook the box at you.

“Where did you get those?” You asked laughing a little at how flustered you both suddenly were after what you’d just done to each other.

“Tuwaine… joke gift… last years birthday.” He muttered as he tore into the box, and ripped one silver square open with his teeth. “Was difficult to explain to my mum.”

You laughed shaking your head. “How did I not know about this?” Your eyes met his which were sparkling with laughter.

“Because…” He said as he slowly rolled the condom down his dick. “I threatened everyone with pain of death if they said anything to you.”

“Why?” You snorted, scooting up the bed as Tom followed crawling over you, and settling between your legs.

“Because, it was embarrassing!” He said a little too loud.

You laughed pulling him down to you. “Shhhhh!” You kissed him letting him deepen it for a moment before pulling back. “Don’t wanna get caught now, do we?” You asked smiling up at him.

“Absolutely not.” His smile widened as he shook his head. He gripped himself positioning himself at your entrance. “Are you sure?” He asked locking eyes with you.

You stared up into his big brown eyes. Strangely, all your nerves were gone. Pushed too deep down to surface now, and stop this before you crossed the line you could never come back from. You cupped his cheeks pulling his forehead down to yours. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

Tom nodded against you, and pushed forward. His dick slowly slid into you filling you up in the best way. Your head dropped back onto the bed and your mouth fell open. You groaned at the sensation of his dick stretching you out. It was definitely nothing like his fingers. Your walls clenched around him at the slight pain you were feeling, and your face scrunched up.

Tom stopped moving. “Are you okay?” He asked breathless from the way your inner walls were squeezing him. And, you could tell by the strained tone in his voice, that he was trying, so very hard, not to just thrust all the way in until he was buried inside you.

“I’ll be fine… don’t stop.” You said giving him a small smile. Tom nodded as he pushed into you until he bottomed out. “Shit!” You cursed as pain shot through your core. Tears pricked your eyes, clamping them shut as you squeezed his waist between your knees.

“Hey…” Tom whispered bringing his hand to your cheek. “Did I hurt you?”

You nodded eyes still screwed shut in pain.

“Shit… sorry! Uh… do you want me to…” Tom stuttered his tone panicked as started to pull out.

“No!” You said wrapping your arms around his neck, and locking your ankles at his back to keep him in place. “Please don’t… just stay…still… for a minute.”

Tom nodded relaxing a little, and settling back into you. “So… um… what should we do?” Tom seemed nervous, buried deep inside you, but unable to move. It was suddenly so awkward. “While we wait?” You could see that his mind was racing, and to be honest so was yours. You needed a distraction. Something to take the focus off of this awkward situation.

You cupped his cheeks pulling his face closer to yours. “Just kiss me.” Your words brushed against his lips as you pulled him into you. He pressed his lips to yours sweeping his tongue into your mouth. As your tongues danced together Toms hand slid up your stomach to your chest his fingers rolling over your nipple, and you began to forget the pain as soft muffled moans passed from your lips to his. And, soon him being inside you started to feel good. You began to slowly grind your hips up into his trying to get some friction to help alleviate the growing pressure between your legs. He moaned into the kiss at your movements pulling back to rest his forehead against yours. “You can move now.” You unlocked your ankles allowing him to move freely.

“Okay… if you need me to stop… tell me, yeah?” He asked as he slowly pulled out to the tip. You nodded biting your lip hard at the sensation of him moving, and you held your breath as he slowly pushed back in. His next few thrusts were just as slow and restrained, trying to make sure he didn’t hurt you. He dropped a few curses at how good you felt around his dick. You felt yourself slowly climbing back up to that euphoric feeling. Too slow. You needed him to move faster.

“Tommy?” You asked lightly gripping his chin, and lifted his head up so his eyes met yours.

“Yeah?” He asked trying to concentrate on his measured movements.

“Please…” You said kissing his lips, and his movements slowed, thinking you wanted him to stop. “Go faster.”

Tom smiled against your lips, hiking your leg up and hooking it on his hip. “As you wish, darling.” He grunted as he increased his speed. Your head fell back onto the bed and you moaned his name into the back of your hand. Tom began thrusting into you harder and faster. You were losing yourself in the rush of sensual pleasure as you bit your lip again trying to hold back rapturous screams. Tom grabbed your hand lacing his fingers with yours as he locked eyes with you. “Fuck… Y/n… I’m… close…” He stammered as he continued to slam into you as fast as he could.

“Oh my fuck…. shit, Tommy… me too… please just… a little more.” You screwed your eyes shut, your breaths coming out in short airy pants. You felt like you were going to explode from how tight the coil was. “Fuck…fuck…”

Tom was obviously determined to make you cum again before him. His head fell into the crook of your neck, and he sucked on the skin there trying to push you into ecstasy once more. “Cum… for me… come on… one more time...” Tom said as he pounded into you faster. You could feel his hips stutter a bit, and you knew he was barely hanging on. “I know… you’re… close… I can… feel it…” Tom slipped his hand between your bodies finding your clit, and started rubbing tight circles on the sensitive little bud.

Your eyes snapped open and you bucked your hips up to meet his thrusts. “Fuck!! Tom!!!” You almost screamed as white hot pleasure coursed through you. You were almost there… just… a little…

“Fuck, Y/n!!” Tom grunted and he dropped his head against your shoulder. He bit the skin there so he wouldn’t cry out as he came. His hips faltered as his orgasm hit him hard. You felt goosebumps crawling over his skin as his orgasm coursed through him. He kept thrusting through his climax trying to get you there too. The feeling of his teeth on your skin, his fingers on your clit, his dick slamming into you, and the sound of his grunts and moans into your shoulder, pushed you over that edge again.

“Shit!! Fuck!! Fuckfuckfuck… Tooooommy!!!” You tried to stay quiet moaning into his neck as you felt that sweet release. Your hips bucked into his, your fingernails digging into his back as they raked down the skin there trying to pull him closer to you. Your body quivered and shook as pure ecstasy crashed through you over and over. Tom slowed his thrusts as he worked you through your high. When your orgasm subsided Tom came to a halt still buried inside you. Both of you were silent, just holding onto each other. Both of your chests were heaving from the exertion of what just happened.

After a few moments Tom pulled back looking down at you. “Y/n… that… was...” Tom shook his head trying to find the words.

“Crazy? That… was crazy, right?” You finished a slight nervous edge to your voice as you smiled up at him.

He laughed as he nodded, leaning down to capture your lips. “Crazy Amazing!!”

He slowly pulled out of you, and you whimpered at the loss of that full feeling. He chuckled at your reaction. “You alright, love?” He asked rolling off you. You sighed and nodded while Tom removed the condom, tying it off, and tossing it in the bin next to his bed.

“I’m a mess, though.” You said feeling the wet gooeyness pooling between your legs.

“Here…” Tom said grabbing a shirt off the floor, and leaned over to clean you up then tossed the shirt in a hamper. He laid back down beside you, and silence fell over the room.

Reality started to set in, your anxiety flared, and your mind began to race in the quiet of his room. What had you just done? Did Tom love you now? Or, was that all part of the game? This was a stupid thing to do. And, there was no going back now. He would never be just a friend you played this stupid game of tag with. He was leaving in the morning and you didn’t have enough time to think. You needed to talk to him, but how? You had no idea where to start and you definitely didn’t want to fuck up your friendship by forcing your feelings on him. Silent tears fell down your cheeks before you could stop them. You sucked in a shaky breath which caught Toms attention.

His eyes snapped in your direction, and his face fell at the sight of you. “Hey…. hey…” He tried to soothe you, rolling over so he was hovering over you, his post sex euphoric haze dissipating as he wiped away your tears. “Y/n… what’s wrong?” His voice was soft and so sincere it only made you cry more.

“Nothing… sorry… I’m… just really… going… to miss you!” You forced the words out through shaky breaths. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. How could you tell him that him leaving tomorrow was going to crush you? How could you tell him this was a mistake when he was looking at you like that? With sincerity and concern? He was your best friend. You needed to be strong, and supportive of him achieving his dreams. But, the thought that this amazing night would come to an end with the rising of the sun, and you’d be left alone with the heartbreak kept running through your head. The tears fell faster now as you sobbed harder.

Tom sat up leaning back against the wall, pulling you up with him, and wrapped his arms around your naked shaking body. He held you close as you cried into the crook of his neck. And, you knew he could sense something else, something more, was bothering you. He always had a way of knowing what you were thinking or feeling. It was his annoying little real life super power.

“I’m going to miss you too, darling.” He cooed into your ear. “But… what else is bothering you?” His question didn’t shock you, but you flinched in his arms anyway, shaking your head against him.

“N… noth...” You couldn't even finish your little lie.

Tom pulled back to look down at you, resting his forehead against yours. “Don’t do that… come on… talk to me.” His soft golden brown eyes stared into yours, and you broke.

“This… was… a mistake.” You choked out through shaky breaths.

Continue to Part 3b

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[apriorisea]

BTS Imagine Series: Safety First, Pt 5

Yoongi x You

Alone in his studio, Yoongi’s thoughts run wild, even after receiving texts from Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jimin about your safety. He can’t stop thinking about the threats, the absence of your touch, the stupid lock on your door, the look on your face as you left. He sits in absolute silence.     He sends a message to the group: Is someone staying with her tonight?     It’s a long time before Jimin texts back: her door is locked, we’ve all checked on her, she’s fine. she asked that we give her a little break.     He stares at the message for a full three minutes, trying to understand. A break?? Her life is in danger, and they’re ‘giving her a break’?? He types out seven different responses, but none of them convey the right feeling of outrage, so he gives up, staring at the phone as his mind goes numb with worry.     His phone vibrates, and he looks down to find a follow-up text from Hoseok: She’s tired and we got done really late. She just needs some rest.     JIN: Just like you     JIMIN: i’m going to see her 1st thing tomorrow morning, hyung. it’ll be fine.     Tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning could be too late. He feels the anxiety double-down, feeling his stomach clench with the worry. He reaches for his phone again, wanting to call you, to hear your voice, to make sure you were okay, but stops just short of dialing your number yet again. He sits in the deafening silence for hours.     At 2:14am, he feels like he’s going to explode into a million tiny pieces, so he gets up out of his seat, and paces back and forth. All he can think about is your door, about the dozens of posts online threatening your safety; any time he closes his eyes for even a second, he can see that stupid door swinging open on its own, admitting someone who wants to hurt you.     ENOUGH. Without another thought, he grabs his jacket and rushes out of the studio, letting the door close hard behind him. He hurries down the hall, hoping he isn’t too late already, and comes to an abrupt stop when he sees his older brother passed out on the hallway couch.     It takes him a moment to fully process what he’s looking at, and when it finally goes through, he takes a small breath and shakes his head. A part of him knows that he should be grateful for Jin’s friendship and care, but he can’t think about anything except you---still, he takes a second to throw his jacket over his brother before hurrying down the hall and out to the parking garage.     He gets to your apartment in record time, pulling into a spot right in front of the building. He studies the surrounding area for a second, then climbs out of his car, ducking his head against the rain and wind. His feet know the way all on their own: he easily climbs the stairs to your apartment, his heart in his throat the entire time.     As soon as he sees the door to your apartment, his eyes go to the familiar doormat and a rush of longing hits him so hard he nearly loses his balance. Pushing forward, he holds his breath and reaches out to turn the door handle.     It holds.     Relief courses through him, taking with it all the adrenaline and leaving him with nothing. He sags against the frame, resting his forehead against the door, and trying to ignore how much it hurts to be this close to you and still not feel you in his arms. He stays like that for a long time, then slowly straightens. He checks the door one more time before turning to go.     A little less panicked this time, he walks slowly down the stairs and outside, ignoring the cold rain. He climbs back in his car and leans his head back against the seat, forcing himself to take a deep breath.     The relief is short-lived. Another vehicle drives past his spot, the driver slowing as if to look at the building number, and every part of him panics again. The door is locked now, but someone could always try to break in. He sits up, hands gripping the steering wheel, and ducks his head to check your windows: all dark, all still peaceful. Exhaling a shaky breath, he folds his arms across his chest and settles in.     He stays all night, watching the building.     He doesn’t sleep.

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You wake up with a small gasp, and your first instinct is to roll towards him; just one touch and the aftertaste of your nightmare would be gone. You feel the numb fuzziness settle back in as you slowly remember why you grasp at empty air.     It hurts. You press your hand against your mouth and wait until the initial wave of pain subsides, then turn to look at your clock: 6:53am. You’re off work today. A few days ago, you would’ve relished the chance to spend all day at the company with Yoongi, just hanging around him while he works, but now....     You sit up sharply. No more tears. Swinging your legs out of bed, you wash your face, pull your hair into a messy ponytail, and get dressed quickly. Grabbing your headphones, you feel your stomach growl a little as you near the kitchen and flip on the light. As your eyes adjust to the brightness, you realize that you had left Jin’s pancakes sitting on the table all night. You think of their promises to visit you today and feel guilty. The guilt prompts you to set your headphones on the counter and quickly clean up, dumping the pancakes into the trash before you have second thoughts. When you’re finished, you take a second to look around the room. Does it look like I’m fine?     Every part of you screams how not fine you are, and the tiny thought that was contemplating a protein bar gets squashed. You rub at your forehead and say out loud: “No more tears. Time to run.” You were not going to spend your morning wallowing in bed. Without another look, you grab your headphones and head for the door, trying to get excited by planning what route you’d take that day.     You step into the hallway, lock the door behind you, and then....freeze.     Yoongi?     Even though you know you are alone in the hall, you look around sharply, searching for something your gut knows you won’t find. Stupid, you think. Of course he’s not here. What’s wrong with you?     And yet...........for some reason, you can’t shake the feeling that he had been there recently. It was like a 6th sense; you could just feel him. You just miss him, a part of your mind chastises. You’re acting crazy.     Leaning back against the door, you close your eyes and rub vigorously at your forehead. You’re just tired. It’s impossible. You just want to think he’s here. Pull yourself together. You push away from the door, putting your headphones on and turning them up full volume as you leave the building.     You didn’t intend to go very far, but end up running 10 miles that morning. By the time you get back to your apartment, you’re drenched in sweat and exhausted. As you climb the stairs, you’re already trying to decide what to do with the rest of your day. You reach your floor and stop.     The strange sense of his presence hits you like a truck, and you have to reach out to hold the banister to stay on your feet. “Stop,” you reprimand yourself through gritted teeth. This won’t make anything better.     But even as you force yourself to walk to your door, unlock it, and step inside, you can’t stop thinking about it. He was here, he was here, he was here. Irritably, you rip off your headphones and toss them on the couch, sliding out of your shoes and going to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. You guzzle the whole thing and once again consider eating something, but before you can decide, your phone buzzes in your pocket.     JIMIN: r u back from ur run?     You sigh. You’d completely forgotten about Jimin’s visit, so when he’d called you halfway through, you’d almost ignored it. Really, it had worked out for the best: you weren’t sure you were ready to see any of them yet today. Still, you felt bad for ditching him. Hey, you text back, I just barely got back. Are you at work now?     JIMIN: yes. u ok?     Yes. I’m really sorry about this morning, I just needed to...move. I’ll see you later?     The box of protein bars is staring at you, but your stomach is too unsettled from your run, so you ignore it, glancing back at your phone when it buzzes again.     JIMIN: don’t apologize. yes, i will definitely see u later. do something relaxing today! <3 u     You text back a smiley emoji accompanied by a heart and set your phone aside. Something relaxing....     Inadvertently, your gaze wanders back to your phone.     You hold your breath.     I’ll just call him really quick, ask him if he came by the apartment, you start rationalizing. It won’t be a long conversation. I just want to know if I’m completely crazy, or---     “You’re crazy,” you say out loud, clenching your hand into a fist to keep it from reaching for your device. As much as you want to call him, you can’t forget the smoldering pit of anger in your stomach. Your pride is still very much intact, and every reminder of the anger is like the prick of a needle.     Instead of calling him or eating anything, you snatch your phone off the counter and stalk down towards the bathroom: you were going to take a long bubblebath and watch some trashy reality TV.

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“I don’t know,” Jin says tiredly, rubbing a hand across his face. “I was waiting for you guys before going to ask him about it.”     Taehyung is frowning. “Are you sure he went somewhere? Maybe---”     “I woke up at 6:15,” Jin explains. “I somehow had his jacket and the studio was empty.”     “Maybe he just went to the bathroom?” says Jungkook hopefully. “He---”     Jin shakes his head. “I don’t think so. I went to look for him, and when I circled back around sometime around 6:45, he was back in his studio, like nothing had happened.”     “And you didn’t ask him?” Hoseok asks again.     “No.”     Hope flits across Taehyung’s face. “Maybe he went and saw her. Maybe everything’s okay--?”     Jimin makes a soft sound of disagreement, and when the others look at him, he holds up his phone: “No, she hasn’t seen him. Things are still the same.”     The hopeful atmosphere is dashed; Jin leans back against the couch in exhaustion.     Jungkook notices. “You did a good thing,” he says quietly. “I know Yoongi-hyung appreciated it.”     Jin laughs hollowly. “How much good could it have done, since he slipped right past me?”     Hoseok makes a disgruntled noise and looks at Namjoon. “We are still good on the revised schedule, right? The dance practice got moved?”     “Yes.” Namjoon has been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the discussion. He shoves his hands deep in his jacket pockets. “I mean, we only have a few days, but it is some sort of cushion...”     “Is that really what’s best, though?” muses Taehyung.     Hoseok shakes his head at him. “You think he could make it through an entire dance practice the way he is now?”     “Well, no,” he admits quickly. “But what’s the alternative? He stays in the studio all day again?”     The others mull this over, and finally Namjoon speaks. “Good or bad, it’s what’s happening. I don’t think we should all go see him at once right now. Maybe just a few, or even just one, so that---”     “I’ll go,” Jimin puts his phone back in his pocket. “I’ve spoken with her today, so I can give him a little update.”     “That’s good,” Namjoon agrees. “Okay.” He looks around the circle, noting Jin’s half-closed eyes and the worry evident on Taehyung and Jungkook’s faces. “It’s gonna be fine, guys. One way or another, this will work out.”

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He looks up as the door opens.     “For shame,” Jimin says with a smile, trying to keep the atmosphere light. “You make Jin-hyung sleep on the couch all night, and make him worry about where you go?”     Yoongi blinks blearily; he’s so tired that everything seems to be moving in slow motion. “I...” he has to refocus on his little brother a few times. “I gave him my jacket...”     If he didn’t look as bad as he did, Jimin would have laughed a little at this statement. But because the dark circles under his eyes had gotten worse and his hair was a mess and he looked like he was on death’s door, it only made Jimin’s stomach lurch. “Right,” he agrees softly. He takes a few steps towards the desk. “So where did you go?”     “I...” Yoongi blinks again and rubs at his eyes violently. The confessions slips out: “I went by her apartment. Checked the door.”     Jimin sighs. “I told you we had checked.”     “Yeah, but---but it could’ve changed at any point. Someone could’ve forced the lock, or it could’ve opened on its own after you guys looked.”     The realization hits Jimin slowly. “So you---wait, are you saying that you...what....stayed at her apartment all night?”     Yoongi leans back in his chair. “Not all night, and I had to leave around 6, but...yeah.” When there’s silence, he finally looks up and notices the distraught expression on his brother’s face. “I had to make sure,” he says defensively. “I had to make sure she was safe.”     It makes Jimin want to cry. Instead, he nods and leans down to put his arms around Yoongi, hugging him tightly. “I know,” he says quietly. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” Getting his emotions under control, he straightens. “I spoke to her this morning.”     Yoongi’s eyes widen at this. “And??”     “She’s safe,” he says, then answers the next question before it can be asked: “She doesn’t have to work today, so she’s going to hang out at home, relax a little. She’s going to be fine.”     He’s nodding along with the words, his eyes faintly glassy. “Good, good, that’s...” he suddenly slumps in his chair, energy wasted. “That’s really good.”     Jimin puts a hand on his arm, but doesn’t say anything for a long time. Finally, when it’s clear that Yoongi wasn’t going to say anything else, he clears his throat. “So you know that dance practice got rearranged, right?” There’s a nod and he continues, “So...what are you going to do today? Take a little nap, maybe?” He’s relieved when his brother doesn’t immediately shoot down the idea.     “I’ll work,” he says robotically, then blinks again. “Maybe take a nap, yeah.”     “Good. That’s really good.” Jimin decides to push his luck. “Why don’t you come over here to the couch, get settled?”     Yoongi stares up at him unseeingly. “My phone’s charging here.”     “...Right. But you could come to the couch and---”     “No. It’s fine. Do you know if anyone’s going to go visit her today?”     Jimin tries to swallow his frustration. “I don’t know. Probably,” he adds quickly. “Maybe after you take a nap, we could---” The look of absolute fear that crosses Yoongi’s face stops him dead in his tracks. “...Have you eaten?”     He nods, an obvious lie, but forces himself to meet Jimin’s eye. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” The words sound brusque, but his intentions are understood perfectly.     “Yeah,” Jimin agrees quietly, and he squeezes Yoongi’s shoulder. “I’ll come back and see you later, okay?”     “And---”     “And I’ll update you with whatever I hear from her. Of course.”  Jimin smiles faintly, but can’t resist one more attempt before he leaves: “Try and get some rest.”     And the thing is, Yoongi tries. Or, at least, his body caves to the all-encompassing need for sleep, and over the next few hours he drifts off several times, still siting in his chair. Every time, he is jolted awake by another nightmare: visions of you getting hurt, you screaming his name while he’s unable to reach you in time. The panic is suffocating, and he wakes with a start, reaching for you and feeling his world collapse each time he realizes you’re not there.     He doesn’t get any work done. He checks his phone, he drifts into a terror-filled dreamscape, he wakes, he panics, he checks his phone---a seemingly endless pattern that drags him through the first few hours of the day.     By noon, he’s a sorry-looking sight: his eyes are heavy, his head is pounding, every part of him aches, and his lips and throat are dry. His hand shakes as he reaches for his phone, and though he clears his throat several times, his voice is still hoarse when he asks his manager to drive past your apartment again for a quick check-up.     It’s 2pm when the door to his studio is thrown open, and a barrage of people enter: Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, and an exhausted Jin, flanked by a few managers, and, most importantly, the head of security.     A part of his sleep-deprived brain actually thinks he’s dreaming again. He stares at them unseeingly, having a hard time processing what’s happening; everything still feels fuzzy, but the dread is starting to creep up his throat. Jimin crosses to stand next to his chair, Taehyung hangs back near the door uneasily, Jungkook is fidgeting with his ears, but Jin looks him dead in the eyes and says: “We have some news.”     He feels like he can’t breathe, so he blinks slowly.     Taehyung obviously sees the struggle on his face, because he jumps in immediately. “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.” He says it twice, like that will make it true.     The head of the security team takes a deep breath. “I know you are aware of the threats that have been made online---”     Your name bursts from him, and he sits forward in his seat. “Is she okay??”     Jimin puts a hand on his shoulder. “She’s safe,” he says intently.     He might not have believed it from anyone else. “What happened?”     “We have reason to believe the threats have crossed a threshold and that she may actually be in danger.” The team leader looks like he would rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment. “Nothing has happened and we are working to ensure her continued safety.”     Jin sees the flash of anger cross his brother’s expression and takes a step forward; his face is lined with exhaustion and worry. “Security is on the way to her apartment---”     “Along with Namjoon-hyung and Hoseok-hyung,” Jungkook can’t help but interrupt.     “---The police have been contacted,” Jin continues. “And it is my understanding that we are close to finding the perpetrator themselves--?” he leaves it open, turning to look back at the security team leader.     He nods. “Yes. In addition, we are tracking every single supportive interaction, so there will be no loose ends when we are finished.”     Yoongi is only half-listening; he rips his phone from the charging cord and has your contact pulled up in half a second. He hits send, clutching the device to his ear, and listens as it rings once, twice, three times. The rest of the room is holding their breath with him, so when the call gets forwarded to voicemail, the tension is palpable. He pulls the phone away from his ear numbly and Jimin squeezes his shoulder again, but he’s not sure if it’s simply for comfort or to keep him in his seat.     “The others are on their way,” Jungkook says again, his voice getting louder in his anxiety. “They were going to call her, too, she’s probably just on the phone with them.”     Jin nods in agreement immediately, though the first signs of worry are showing through. “Namjoon, Hoseok, and a whole team of bodyguards,” he adds. “Undoubtedly her phone is busy.”     He’s already opening a text conversation: Is she safe     Jimin sees the message. “We’ve caught this early,” he says quietly, his fingers still digging into his brother’s shoulder. “Nothing has happened, and nothing is going to happen. The only reason we’re telling you is so you don’t hear from someone else and worry.”     “Why isn’t she answering her phone?” The question slips from him before he can stop it, his voice hoarse.     Taehyung moves towards him, drawn in by his older brother’s pain. “The others are probably already with her,” he begins, reaching out to put his hand on Yoongi’s other shoulder. “Since she didn’t know about any of this, there’s a lot to catch her up on. They will all text us when things are settled.” He moves his hand and carefully pulls Yoongi’s phone out of his grasp.     “We’re initiating protocol,” the team leader says abruptly. “And we need to move now.”     Jimin turns to face him, calling his name until Yoongi looks away from his phone. “Where do you want to be, hyung?” he asks calmly.     “I....” he blinks. “Here. I’m---I’m going to stay here.”     “Okay.” Jin can tell the security team is getting anxious to move. “You have to eat something,” he says seriously, beckoning the others away. “We need everybody to be in peak condition, just in case.”     Taehyung puts the phone back on the desk and follows his bodyguard out the door with a quiet, “See you soon” to the others; Jimin grabs Yoongi’s hand and says, “It’s going to be okay. This will be over soon. Don’t worry.” Jungkook is ushered away before can say anything, but he leaves the room looking over his shoulder with wide eyes.     Jin comes to Yoongi and pushes a granola bar into his hand. “Eat this,” he instructs. “Stay put, get some rest. We’ll be in touch with every update. Okay?”     He nods numbly.     His older brother knows that it didn’t sink in, but the team leader is calling him away, so all he can do is give him a look before he’s dragged away. The bodyguard left with Yoongi gives him simple instructions, then, clearly feeling awkward, leaves the room.     The world is spinning. He’s been awake for too long, there’s nothing in his stomach, the dehydration is making every muscle ache, and he can’t breathe. He hasn’t moved since the others left. Why aren’t you answering your phone? Where are you? Are you safe? Why aren’t you here with me?? How could I mess this up so bad?     Everything hurts and you didn’t answer the phone and neither Namjoon nor Hoseok has responded yet. He slowly slips out of awareness, letting the fog overtake him.

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 1999

A list with quite possibly the most embarrassing #1 yet, and considering some of the previous ones, that’s really saying something.

Also, a very, very long list of honorable mentions.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

This could have almost been a top fifteen, because holy f█cking shit look at this list of honorable mentions. I might eventually make a top 15 for some years (gosh I just finished my 2013 top and it’s a massacre of good songs, an absolute disaster, and I’m seriously considering making it a top 15 or 20 I swear), but for now, it’s still manageable.

Summer Son (Texas) - Why is this so hot. The lyrics aren’t even hot in the first place. What the hell.

That Don’t Impress Me Much (Shania Twain) - Not my favorite song from her but still very good. Fun fact, one of my English teachers was using songs as dictation exercises and that was the hardest one he ever used for that. I don’t think any of us got the Elvis line right. Also he’s solely responsible for me loving The Cure because the second song he used for this kind of exercise was Boys Don’t Cry. This has nothing to do with Shania Twain but I thought it was a fun little story to tell.

Jusqu’au Bout de la Nuit (Emile et Images) - Two French bands from the eighties team up and release a song which is composed of every single one of their hit songs from the eighties, with each chorus sung one after the other, and... it sounds great? And it charted?? My brother absolutely loved them, too. The only reason it’s not on the list is that it feels like cheating, in a way. I mean, half these songs could top some of my lists on their own. Putting them together is a dirty trick, guys! Oh well, I love you all anyway.

Baby One More Time (Britney Spears) - I really love this song and it was on the list at first, but overplay played a big role in its removal from it.

L’Ame Stram Gram (Mylène Farmer) - Has the privilege of being the first Mylène Farmer music video I ever saw in my life. Was incredibly confused but also fascinated. The song isn’t her best though, and she’s on so many of these lists that I claim self care on its removal from this one, especially because, uh... she’s still gonna appear on it anyway. Damn it.

Move Your Body (Eiffel 65) - I told you I loved stupid dance music didn’t I. Unfortunately things aren’t gonna get better as years pass. I just made a list (which is gonna be posted muuuuuuch later) where I put David Guetta six places higher than Adele. This isn’t a joke.

Save Tonight (Eagle Eye Cherry) - I genuinely love this song and it’s kinda sad I couldn’t fit it on any of the two lists where it was elligible.

La Manivelle (Wazoo) - This would NEVER have charted if La Tribu de Dana by Manau hadn’t been such an enormous hit the previous year. Not in a million years. And if it hadn’t, the world would have been a little less fun. So I’m glad. I love it and it was one of the last cuts from this list.

Kiss Me (Sixpence None the Richer) - Was also on the list at first. Was removed because it never ended on any compilation I made and that’s the only reason.

Well, that was long. Here’s the proper list.

10 - Crazy (Britney Spears)

US: Not on the list?? I was very surprised / FR: #14

So I dug up the first cd compilations I ever made for the previous list, and look what’s the first song on the third compilation I ever made!

Relistened to it, still love it to bits, put it on the list. Sorry Kiss Me.

9 - All Star (Smash Mouth)

US: #17 / FR: Not on the list

I know it’s impossible to listen to it with fresh ears after something like 15 years of memes. But it’s still damn good and a ton of fun to sing along with it.

8 - Ma Baker 99 (Boney M)

US: Not on the list / FR: #66

Where’s that photo of the cd compilation I mentioned in the previous list?

There it is.

Yep, it’s a remix, but it charted here, and it sounds and looks absolutely fantastic. I had never heard the original at the time for some reason, and that song sounded so badass. I could only understand isolated bits of the lyrics (like “she was the meanest cat in all Chicago town”, “the cops appeared too soon they couldn’t get away”, “she never could cry”) but it was enough to get a general idea, and that was back when I was starting to realise than most of the dance songs I enjoyed as a kid didn’t tell stories and weren’t about wizards and magic. So, a song about a mean woman who’s also a gangster?? I was like, wow, nice, a song I like with an actual story, give me twenty.

7 - Boom Boom Boom Boom (Vengaboys)

US: Not on the list / FR: #20

Told you I loved Vengaboys! It’s also on that third cd compilation I ever made!

Fun fact, at the time, for a while I didn’t know what the lyrics were and since I only knew a couple of words of English I was convinced a “broom” was somehow involved in the lyrics instead of a “room”.

6 - Souviens-toi du jour (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #73

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again ; I used to be a huge fan of her as a teenager and my brain somehow links her and her songs in general to some dark times in my life - and so, every single time she appears on one of my lists, I feel like I’m texting an unstable ex and that things will end horribly and I probably shouldn’t do that but, ugh, can’t help it, love her too much.

Ok so the first seconds are actually painful to listen to but holy shit, that’s a beautiful, beautiful song. When the chorus swells near the end, so full of hope and light? Amazing. Chills on my arms every single time. That’s from one of her best albums, too. I have nothing more to say about it.

5 - Better Off Alone (Alice Deejay)

US: Not on the list / FR: #30

I don’t have anything to say about this one apart from the fact one of my friends around 2005 thought the lyrics were “do you think you’re better? rofl lol” and I think that’s hilarious.

Moving on to- oh shit oh no not that song

4 - Je te rends ton amour (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #97

What I said in #6 also applies here and this song is so dark it feels even worse. That song used to be very important in my life. Bad memories, bad times. Really, really bad times.

So. Uh. This is a song about a woman in a painting, who’s despising her creator, and possibly (that’s very, very open to interpretation, here’s a translation) coming out of her frame to kill him. That’s quite possibly the weirdest story I’ve ever heard in a song, and I love it. And it sounds so sinister. God, the first notes. They are so ominous. And that brief moment of silence after the bridge, right before the guitar explodes again? Horrible chills. I’m not sure who killed who or what actually happened in the story but press F to pay respects.

Also the music video has nothing to do with the lyrics and it’s absolutely terrifying and I shouldn’t have watched this at 14 because it’s kinda burned into my mind now and it will never go away and you probably shouldn’t watch it either.

If it wasn’t so inextricably linked to bad memories, this song would be #2. I still love it and listen to it but I kinda jump like a scared rabbit whenever I hear it by surprise and it should come with its own trigger warning as far as I’m concerned.

3 - Narcotic (Liquido)

US: Not on the list / FR: #99

This is barely elligible. But I’m so, so glad it is. These chords right there? Love them. Love. Them.

Also here’s a fun story about this song and me. At first, I was like “oh wow, I can only understand one word out of five, but this sounds badass.” Then a couple of years later I was like “oh. Oh no. It’s about drugs.” And THEN a few years later I was like “oh shit oh no. It’s about sex.” But no, now that I can understand everything, it’s just a breakup song. It’s okay.

2 - Where I’m headed (Lene Marlin)

US: Not on the list / FR: #24

Ok so. Uh. I just realised this song was called Where I’m headed and not, as I believed for literally 18 years, “Pass By”. I had never checked. I have it on several tapes and several cd compilations, always labelled Pass By. It’s also called Pass By on the mp3 I still have in my playlist. I know I’m in the wrong here and probably never checked what the title was but I still feel like there’s been a glitch in the matrix. What happened.

Anyway. Fantastic song. Love it.

Now let’s embarrass myself beyond all hopes of redemption.

1 - Blue (Eiffel 65)

US: Not on the list (...yet. #49 in 2000) / FR: #2

So. Uh. Yeah.

Blue by Eiffel 65 was, for a long, long, LONG time, my favorite song ever.

See? This is one of my oldest lists of favorite songs.

Another one from several months later.

A cd compilation of my favorite songs ever, which I made around 2003 or 2004 as well, with a booklet with lyrics entirely copied by hand and with every page painstakingly illustrated with panels and characters from my favorite comic at the time, Horologiom.

You open the booklet, and look at that, Blue is the second song right after Children.

This silly song which lists blue things and has a nonsensical chorus and one of the dumbest music videos of the entire 90s was, indeed, for years, my favorite song ever. Why. How. Well, first, please remember I am, in fact, a sucker for dance music and electronic music ESPECIALLY when a piano is involved, but this isn’t at all why this song was special to me (and still is, actually).

As I already mentioned, music has colors to me and guess what’s the dominant color of this song? Yepppppp. This is one of the bluest songs ever made even if there’s a little black, yellow and green here and there - the only song I can think about right now which out-blues it is Derezzed by Daft Punk.

And I can’t even begin to explain how SATISFYING a blue song called “Blue” listing blue things and which has an extremely blue music video is.

I know. It’s an embarrassing #1 even for 1999. It took me a long time to post this list partly for this reason. But I wouldn’t be honest if it was placed at any other position. It’s stupid, it’s repetitive, it’s meaningless. I absolutely love it and I’ve loved it for twenty years.

Deal with it.

Next up: the year when I actually started to buy cds with my own money, with debatable results.

[saviormysticmeme]

Hello! Can you write about MC who is a popular you tuber and is live streaming a horror game. They then get jumped scared, shrieks, and Jumin/Jaehee/Yoosung run in to see what's wrong and MC's like "oh hey babe" and the comment section goes WILD when they discover that they have a lover. How would they each respond to the shriek and the comments is basically what I'm asking. Sorry that this is long af I'm just excited to see what you'll write! :D Thank you a million times

I love this ask so much tbh. I tried writing for it before and just didn’t love it so it never got posted.

Yoosung/Jaehee/Jumin with a Lets Player MC

Yoosung:

“KYAAAAAAAAAA”

He heard it from downstairs and nearly fell out of his gaming chair. The second he heard it, pure adrenaline pumped through him and as he tumbled to the floor in attempts to get up so fast, he pushed off and used it all as momentum, sprinting for the stairs.

“MC!?” He shouted as he bear ran up the stairs and thrust himself into your occasionally shared bedroom. 

Hearing the door open behind you, in addition to the monster on your screen, only succeeded in scaring you more, and thus you let another “AHHHHHHHHH” rip from your mouth. This violent reaction from you in turn scared Yoosung and he “WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”.

There was a few seconds of the both of you screaming before, suddenly, almost in unison. You both stopped.

“…MC?”

“Is everything alright Yoosung?”“Me?! I should be asking you! I heard you scream.”“Oh…yeah I’m playing.” To which you rolled your chair a little sideways to point at the many zombies swarming your computer screen. “Wait are you…streaming!?!? You never told me!!!” Yoosung looked surprised, which quickly turned to a bit of deflation at the thought you were hiding this from him.“Well I usually just do horror games…and like weird dating sims. But I never wanted to make you feel obligated to wat-” and with that you noticed the streeeeaaaam of comments popping up in the video feed

Who is that

Omg is that MCPlays boyfriend??

He’s so cute!!

Wait a second that looks like a guy I play LOLOL with….

They’re so cute

YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND

Stream together? Please? You guys seem cute.

Oooooo Lovers quarrel 

Omg he’s so cute.

KISS, KISS, KISS

You saw all the comments and started twiddling your hair between your thumbs. “Aha, Yoosung, I think we have fans.”

“Wha…” As Yoosung began reading over your shoulders, he began turning very, very, red.

Jaehee

“HELP!” Jaehee’s eyes went wide as she heard the shout. She put her coffee and book down and began hastily walking towards your door. Last she heard you were playing video games, so shouting wasn’t out of the ordinary, but this one made her a little anxious and she felt she had to check.“MC?” She cautiously stuck her head in. You turned to look at her from your computer.“Babe! Sorry! I tried to keep it down but this one hoard took me by surprise…” You shot her an apologetic look. 

Jaehee gave you a soft smile, assuring you that she wasn’t upset. In case you weren’t positive, she followed up with “Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?”

“Ooooooh! Coffee please?” You got excited at the prospect of her home brewed coffee.��

Jaehee nodded and slipped back out the door.Once she had the coffee ready she brought it back upstairs, but this time you were mid round, she could tell by the look on your face so she walked over to you to set the coffee down, and that’s when she noticed the endless stream of comments. “MC? Are all these people on your team?”“Huh? Haha, no! They’re just watching me play.”“People…just watch?”“Yeah. Viewers, this is my girlfriend Jaehee, Jaehee, these are the Viewers. Say hi!”The brunette leaned over your shoulder, a bit of a deer in the headlights look as she saw her face pop up on screen. She hadn’t even realized you had the face cam on. Then she really started noticing what the comments were saying.

DID MC JUST SAY ‘GIRLFRIEND’

Whoa wait youre….?

That’s so cute! You two are so cute! And she brings you coffee? Ugh. Goals.

Does she know anything about video games? You guys should play together.

UGH THEYRE BOTH SO HOT IT ISNT FAIR

Hi Jaehee! Nice to meet you!

She has a really soothing voice…is that weird to say?

Both of you look so good together ahhhhh

“O-Oh.” Jaehee raised a light hand. “Hi Viewers.”Only to chuckle as the chat exploded even more and blush when she heard your charming laugh.

Jumin

“OH GOD” followed by what sounded like a muffled string of cusses assaulted Jumin’s ears from within his home office. His eyes shot up, but he was frozen for half a second as so many scenarios ran through his head. He shoved his chair back and briskly walked to your room, asking “MC? Are you alright?”The cusses sounded more angry than scared, so he wondered if you hurt yourself. However, you didn’t seem to hear him and thus didn’t respond, putting a little more pace in his step.

 He swung the door to your computer room open, and you didn’t even seem to notice thanks to those damn noise cancelling headphones you got. Hell you didn’t even seem to notice how dark it had gotten. The room was almost entirely dark aside from the computer glow illuminating your sides from the front. He sighed, at least you were ok. Though you still were muttering swears like a sailor under your breath.Unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend stood behind you, about to stride up and tap you on the shoulder.Unbeknownst to your viewers, the man behind you in a black suit was not about to kill you.

MC THERES SOMEONE IN YOUR ROOM

MC TURN AROUND

Who is that guy??

Is this a joke or something…MC this is scary

MC turn around

Should someone call the police

You caught a few of the comments out of the corner of your eye, and at first you thought they were yelling about something in the game, but when your eyes trailed to your camera feed…

“AH HOLY SHIT “ You jumped up and whirled around on the man behind you, doing it so fast the headphones were pulled off your head, your chair was nearly knocked over, the whole desk rattled, and-

Click.

Jumin flicked the light on, his face also showing he was mildly jarred by the last couple seconds.

You just held your hand to your heart for a moment and leaned against the desk. “Oh my…oh my god Jumin. Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Sneak up on you?” He approached you slowly, any irritation he had before about you not hearing him melted as he saw your scared face. He just wanted to comfort you now, and he tried by sliding his hands onto the sides of your face and steadying you. “I was just coming to check on you and you were here in the dark. And yelling.”Looking into his eyes, you felt the previous tension in your body start to relax, and you let yourself lean into your boyfriend’s hands as a smile crawled onto your face. “I’m sorry. I must have gotten carried away playing the game.”

“The game?” Jumin looked at your computer to see it had a game on screen….but it also had video feed of you two right now! “Are you recording your reaction?”

Him saying that snapped you back into the reality that there were a few tens of thousands of people watching you two right now, and you pulled away from Jumin, a little embarrassed by the accidental PDA. 

“Oh, yeah sort of. I’m live streaming. So people are watching me play right now and commenting…. They also probably saw everything that just happened haha.” You turned from Jumin and leaned closer to your camera “Sorry about that everyone! Didn’t mean to scare!”And your eyes trailed to the commentsIS THAT JUMIN FUCKING HAN

MC ARE YOU DATING HAN JUMIN

no fucking way

iz thiz a collab??/?/

Is…Is C&R promoting themselves on a Lets Play channel?

WHO IS THAT HES HOT AS FUCK

this is the hottest couple alive and im glad im bi

so this wasnt a prank?????

Omg this whole scare was so funny

He seems so serious…please make him play with you.You couldn’t help but laugh at the mixed reactions. 

[finefeatheredfriend]

Genocide! (the book. not like. actual genocide.)

Okay so it’s been a while since I posted one of my EDA reviews, and it’s been a while since I read this particular book (because I’ve been at a place where they don’t have wifi for about two months now so I couldn’t post it (since for some reason I always post these from the laptop but yeah ANYWAY.)) but here is another one of my weird reviews/liveblog things! 

This time, it’s Genocide! And I think, if I remember correctly, I liked this one. Well. I mean. Jo is in this one, so of course I liked it. Anyway! I’m gonna read these reactions I had while reading this book now (cause my memory is awful and I literally remember nothing except that Jo was in it lol) and then maybe I’ll be able to tell you how I liked it!

As usual, here are my favourite bits of reactions/quotes/scenes/impressions from when I read this, and the full liveblog will be under the cut! Enjoy my rambly thoughts!

AAAH the Doctor’s pretending he got his outfit from 1893 but Sam saw the label and knows it’s from a costume store I’m screaming

I love that Sam made a scaling system because every single situation with the Doctor is dangerous so the question is no longer ‘is this situation dangerous?’ but ‘how dangerous is this situation’ hahaha i love her

‘We all have to be daleks sometimes. It’s just a matter of knowing when you really don’t have a choice’ - Doctor (ooooh I love this line) 

“Do you know what it's like, Doctor? To watch them die, to hear them die, and know that there's nothing you can do to stop it?” STOP IT of course he knows!!! now I’m crying :(

[Cliff] LEFT JO???? who would ever want to leave JO??? I mean. now she’s finally free to marry sexy yates instead so I guess that’s fine BUT WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND

I know this was before storm warning came out and probably references something entirely different but still, THE UNCREATOR

wait a minute did jo just go and lift rowenna and is now running while carrying her??? uh she’s... strong

oh god how I hope there’s an easier alternative in which no species gets killed off :( ....... eileen this book is literally called genocide

“So you are human.' 'No, not exactly, but that doesn't matter.” Doctor... what... ‘not exactly’?

Jo and Sam have been alone for 6 days??? I mean, 5 and a half hours were bad for Rose, sure, but that has nothing on being stranded without the Doctor 2 million years in the past, in Africa, for six bloody days omg

aaaah the Doctor can hear Jo’s screams from millions of years in the future (Doctor x Jo confirmed)

I can’t believe Jo of all people would kill all those aliens! like... that’s genocide. just. I don’t believe it. not Jo. she’d never

Okay, so here’s my thoughts about the book: I loved it! The fact that we’ve got a non humanoid species here (that I at first thought were Nimons - imagine my disappointment when I found out they weren’t) is so interesting, learning all about them (they have a smell alphabet?? that’s so cool) is so... interesting (yeah, this book is interesting, I know I say that a lot lol). And Jo. asdfgdasflgadgs. I love her. Having her there definitely made the whole book better, though in my opinion I would have really enjoyed the book so much even if she weren’t in it. The only sad thing is that we didn’t get to see her off. She was just gone suddenly! But I loved the book nonetheless.

Okay, you know the drill. Under the cut you’ll find my unabridged reactions that I wrote down while reading! I bolded what I put in the highlights reel. 

okaaay this is interesting

I’m confused but it’s interesting

and I love that framing story line they’ve got going with that alien and the Doctor in what i think is a cell of some sort..?

ok I spoiled myself that jo is in this one (I was bummed that it wasn’t a surprise BUT I’m more excited that she even is in this book so I don’t care AAH MY WIFE IS IN THIS!!)

ok :/ so the aliens aren’t nimons :/

UNIT!!! I mean I don’t know what the alien’s plan is, but they mentioned UNIT!!

“more of his stuff was fake than he was generally prepared to admit” jfjdhdhdg

AAAH the Doctor’s pretending he got his outfit from 1893 but Sam saw the label and knows it’s from a costume store I’m screaming

aaaaah they mention my boy oscar wilde!!

“When he got there he looked over his shoulder and flashed her a smile. 'Guess.' No good, thought Sam. I've been out-cooled again. But I'll get him, one day. If it's the last thing I do.” jdhdhdhgd i love her (and him)

aw no his shoes being sucked into the swamp and he got really sad because grace gave him those shoes and now he wants to repair them at all costs!!

“Something was usually wrong. It was really a matter of scale. Sam had started to rate them in scores out of ten: for instance, (1) the Doctor had misdirected the TARDIS, (5) he'd landed them in the middle of a war zone, or (10) he'd accidentally destroyed the universe.” hahahaha and the situation they’re in is a 2.5, that doesn’t sound too bad haha

“Get back inside!' ordered the Doctor. 'I am inside,' said Sam simply. 'You're not.” Doctor i love you

okaaay we’re slowly raising the danger score point by point and are now at 3.5

hm ok so Sam determined that they are on earth where the invasion had already happened and humans are extinct just by seeing a river and thinking ‘oh yeah, could be the right size to be the thames’ like ??? how do you think you can say all that for sure from guessing that maybe that river you see there is a similar size to that of the Thames

‘even simplicity itself is never as simple as it seems’

oooh I wouldn’t want the Doctor to tell me off I couldn’t stand to have him be disappointed in me

‘We all have to be daleks sometimes. It’s just a matter of knowing when you really don’t have a choice’ - Doctor (ooooh I love this line)

“Wine's bad for your liver, you know.' Rowenna grinned at Julie. 'So are candy bars.' 'I ate a slice of pizza first!' 'Case proven.” I snorted

MY BABY

THEY’RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT JO

wait Rowenna was one of those people in the green death living with cliff????

flying lizards?? flying lizards????? you mean dragons??

earth reptile... a Silurian??

I love how this book is about non humanoid aliens, we rarely see that

“Do you know what it's like, Doctor? To watch them die, to hear them die, and know that there's nothing you can do to stop it?” STOP IT of course he knows!!! now I’m crying :(

JO

MY BABY

SHE!!!!

she’s here

finally

she has a son!! I mean we know she’s got a lot of grandkids but still!!

wait

“leaning across the cold sheets that she'd probably always think of as Cliffs side of the bed” this sounds like he died

he LEFT

he LEFT JO???? who would ever want to leave JO??? I mean. now she’s finally free to marry sexy yates instead so I guess that’s fine

BUT

who would leave jo??????

Cliff gave her an anniversary present AFTER HE LEFT HER??? what

BENTON

“ "Kilgai, Tanzania. Incident class N",' she read. 'What's class N?' 'They divide incidents up into Y for "Yes, it does immediately threaten the existence of the human race" and N for "No, it doesn't".” BENTON you... joker

oooh that’s a an interesting kind of book, these aliens have a smell alphabet? and read by sniffing or tasting the different scents..?

and the Doctor can read those books as well omg

the uNCREATOR

I know this was before storm warning came out and probably references something entirely different but still, THE UNCREATOR

wait but in storm warning they weren’t called tractites right

oh no those were triscele or whatever

oh I hate this

why do the tractites have to be so nice :( I don’t want them all to die :(

then again it’s a nice change away from the usual ‘these aliens are bad and that’s why we need to kill them’ that happens in all the other movies or shows

oh Sam can read those books too so apparently it’s not just a special power the Doctor has

please sam do NOT try to stop the Doctor from setting history right

yes those aliens are nice

but please

“A galaxy long, long ago and far, far away.” aaaah

“She wondered if she was walking into a trap. She'd always been good at that.” you’re surprisingly self aware jo

this is SUCH an interesting story?!?? like... kitig has to decide whether to kill the Doctor because he might destroy them all (which tbf the Doctor is actually planning to do) BUT THEN he decides to help him when he gets ill!!!

“Jo turned round, said calmly, 'Shut up, I'm talking to my friend,' then turned back to Rowenna. 'Don't worry about him, he's nobody. Have you seen the aliens yet?” Jo I fucking love you jsdjsjsggs

wait a minute did jo just go and lift rowenna and is now running while carrying her??? uh she’s... strong

oh god how I hope there’s an easier alternative in which no species gets killed off :(

eileen this book is literally called genocide

stop pretending everything is going to be fine

Jo is badass in this one and I love her

ARE THEY GONNA MEET NOW

I need the doctor and jo to meet

AAAAAH they really are heading for Africa too!!!!!! THEY’RE GOING TO MEET

the Doctor is wearing a white cloth sun-hat ahahahah

ok so both Sam and Jo are walking around the desert now and I’m guessing those two are going to meet first

aaaah the Doctor found rowenna and Julie!!!!

TRUST ME I’M A DOCTOR asdgdhhsgs why does he always have to say that haha

Awww he’s so happy that Jo is around there too

NOOOOOO ROWENNA

NOOO I was like ‘oh that’s jo saving Sam from the homo habilis right?? Hahaha!’ BUT IT’S THAT DICK JACOB

aw the Doctor buried them in the butterfly room

“So you are human.' 'No, not exactly, but that doesn't matter.” Doctor... what... ‘not exactly’?

“the floppy Indiana Jones hat and the purple striped pullover that looked ten years out of date, even for someone of Jo's advanced age” that sounds so like jo haha

“Yes, sorry, I do look a bit of a wreck. Don't worry, I can control the pain. Old Gallifreyan technique.” ooh another interesting bit of info about gallifreyan physiology - that is, if the Doctor isn’t lying to reassure Kitig he’s fine

Noooooo not the TARDIS!!!!!!

Jo and Sam have been alone for 6 days??? I mean, 5 and a half hours were bad for Rose, sure, but that has nothing on being stranded without the Doctor 2 million years in the past, in Africa, for six bloody days omg

Ha Sam, that teaches you to underestimate the absolute angel that is Jo Grant (don’t judge her by her clothes, Sam. this woman has lived on campsites and faced off aliens and is just overall an absolute angel.)

oh god I hate Jacob. but he’s surprisingly self aware (‘if humankind are all like me then no wonder their world will fall apart,’ he thinks while literally drinking an antelope’s blood directly from the neck)

NO JOOOO pls be alright aaah she just fell down the cliff????

aaaah there’s Sam and Theta written into the rock!!!! THETA!!!!

NOOOO SAM

don’t die please

I mean I kind of know you’re not going to die because I know you’ll be there for a bit longer

BUT STILL

DON’T DIE

oh no!!! the TARDIS is like she was in Father’s Day noooo

aaaah the Doctor can hear Jo’s screams from millions of years in the future (Doctor x Jo confirmed)

no

the TARDIS changed????? but she was perfect like that :(

oh wait hahahaha that was just Jo’s point of view it’s still the same thank god

and the vw beetle is just parked right there in the console room hahahahaha

“Outside, the Doctor was running down a grassy slope, fire exploding to the left and right of him. 'Usual situation,' said Jo wryly, running for the door.” jshajsghshsdha I love them

Noooooo axeman!!!!

Oh god Sam no

what have you done

Don’t just kill :(

oh no not Jo as well

I’m crying oh god JO

I can’t believe Jo of all people would kill all those aliens

like... that’s genocide

just. I don’t believe it. not Jo. she’d never

hehehe the empress reminds him of Davros

I love how he just whispers with Sam while the empress is speaking and clearly looking at them lol

aw kitig saved the world from the time tree

Sam you have to tell him!!! and not when he’s asleep!!! (what is it with people telling other people important things while that person is unconscious ugh!!)

wait what happened to jo?? we didn’t get to see her off!!!

And that’s all! Hope you enjoyed this!

[winryofresembool]

Love Can Melt the Ice, ch 13

Aka Edwin ice skating au!

Summary: More heart-to-heart between Ed and Winry after Ed’s birthday party

A/N: Sorry for the long-ish wait, I hope I’m making up for it with the longest chapter yet! This chapter was supposed to be fillery, but it ended up involving some pretty important stuff in it. This chapter is dedicated to @kittykatz009 who has been an amazing support to me and to whom I wish a very quick recovery. Please enjoy and review! 

Previous chapters:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5.5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Next chapter: [x]

Companion pieces (note: these are all post Olympics happenings so reading the main fic first is recommended): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Words: 3030+ (wow I really did break the 3k word line!) 

Genre: floof, some angst/hurt/comfort

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, smoking and character deaths. Oh and Ed has a bit of a dirty mind.

“Thanks, Winry.” Ed said suddenly as the two of them were walking back towards their hotel after the party. He had insisted he wanted to use his crutches because he was getting tired of sitting around, so his teammates had brought them for him sometime during the night. The rest of the gang had either left to sleep earlier or continue their night elsewhere, so that left Ed and Winry alone. Even Al had mysteriously disappeared before they had a chance to ask if he wanted to walk with them.

“For what?” Winry asked, confused by this ‘outburst’.

“I don’t know. For tonight? For sticking with me? Not letting me be an asshole?” Ed said sheepishly.

“Pfft, I can’t take credit for all that.” Winry dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

“I think you can. I wish there was a way to repay it for you.”

“I… think there is one way you could thank me…” Winry was blushing slightly, her eyes twinkling playfully when she looked at him. Her gaze moved back and forth from his lips to his eyes, biting her lower lip lightly, letting Ed know what she wished.

“You sure?” Ed asked quietly, and Winry just nodded.

He took one step closer and started to lean in. He was now as close as he had been earlier that day at the hospital before Winry’s phone had interrupted them… Damn it, why did she look so cute there in the moonlight? Her shiny hair felt soft under his fingers and her cheeks were adorably pink and warm in the chilly weather… Ed closed his eyes, finally ready to connect their lips…

And just like earlier, they were interrupted again. This time some guys Ed didn’t know started whistling in the nearby smoking spot when they saw the couple. Winry recognized them as the bobsleigh guys she had seen earlier at the Olympics and was about to mention it to Ed when one of them spoke.

“Hey look, isn’t that the Rockbell girl we met earlier? She went out with that runt? The bitch’s got a bad taste.”

“Oh, so you think me hanging out with someone who respects me instead of someone who calls me a bitch is ‘bad taste’? You losers are just angry I didn’t let you get into my pants.” Winry retorted and pushed her ponytail behind her back for a dramatic effect.

“Winry!” Ed felt he shouldn’t have been surprised Winry was perfectly capable of standing up for herself, but he still hadn’t expected her to be that brave.

“Hah, what pants? All you ever wear are skirts so short that I can see your underwear under them,” one of the guys yelled.

“Ex-fucking-cuse me?” Ed couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer. “Do I need to beat the shit out of you?” He growled and bared his teeth like a wolf that was ready to attack. Winry hadn’t seen this side of him earlier, and she got slightly scared of what might happen.

“Ed, it’s not worth it! They’re just jealous. You’re in no condition to fight anyway!”

“Unfortunately, you’re right,” Ed sighed, but waved his crutch threateningly at the men. “You assholes can be happy that I’m using crutches because otherwise you’d be seeing stars… This amazing woman here is worth about a million of you, and I’m not afraid of fighting all of you if I ever hear any of you say anything disrespectful about her again. I mean it.” He stretched his arm muscles and flashed a bit of his automail from under the glove he was always wearing, making sure his statement was effective.

“Now come on, Win. Let’s go.”

“But Ed…” she said when they were far enough that the guys couldn’t hear them anymore, “aren’t you worried they’ll say something about your automail?”

“I know the type of people those guys are, and they are way too coward to actually fight back. Besides, they only got a glimpse of it, they have no proof of anything. It might just as well have been a watch or something.”

“I have to admit, though, what you said about me was very sweet. Thank you.” Winry rested her hand on his shoulder for a moment.

“That was nothing,” Ed rubbed the back of his neck again.

“Don’t be so humble,” Winry said and squeezed Ed’s hand, the real one, before they continued their walk.

The two of them casually chatted as they walked towards the hotel, about the events of the night, how Winry had gotten everyone’s numbers (Roy had been a big help), how Winry knew the bobsleigh guys… For a while, they forgot where they were and simply enjoyed the moment. That was, until Ed asked an innocent question.

“So, individual competition soon? Are you nervous?”

“I… I don’t know. I haven’t really been thinking about it much for the past two days,” Winry admitted. It was true, she really hadn’t paid much attention to anything that was happening in the figure skating world after her incident. Garfiel would probably be angry when she’d finally show up at the training arena. In her defense, though, there wasn’t much she could do, with her foot still a bit tender.

“How’s your foot? You will be able to compete, right?” Ed asked.

“Um, I think so…” Winry shrugged. “It still feels a bit weird when I walk but the doctor says it isn’t badly injured. Just needs some rest.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yeah… I just wish I could practice. I don’t know you can handle not being able to play. My problem is much smaller, but it’s still frustrating.”

“Trust me, I’m about to explode any minute now. That’s how much I hate this situation. But I’m lucky to have some awesome friends who have helped me to distract myself.” He gave her a toothy grin.

“Oh? That’s nice to hear.” Winry smirked happily, knowing that she was included to those “awesome friends”.

Soon the duo found themselves inside their hotel and started to make their way to their respective rooms. Winry’s was farther down the hallway so she stopped in front of Ed’s to tell him good night, but he was fiddling with his bag, apparently trying to find something.

“Damn it! I must have left my card key with Havoc when he went to get my crutches and I can’t call him anymore, he has probably passed out somewhere.”

“Oh no. Well, you can’t sleep in the hallway either, so…”

“Yeah? Do you have something in your mind?” Ed asked curiously.

“Please don’t get this wrong way…” Winry said, feeling slightly awkward. “Gracia and I share a room, but she hasn’t stayed there for a single night because Maes has a big bed, so… I guess there’s some space in mine… I mean my room! Not bed! Not that I’d mind… Ugh please stop me from babbling more!”

“I say this a lot, but you really are something else.” Ed smirked and raised Winry’s chin to meet her eyes. His golden gaze was enough to make her get quiet. For a while she thought he’d finally kiss her, but then he suddenly turned on his heels and started to hop towards Winry’s room on his crutches.

“What? You coming?” he asked when Winry just stood there, puzzled.

“You sure you are OK with this? I mean… I know things between us have been a bit weird and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable…” she asked.

“Didn’t you just say there are two beds in your room?” Ed rolled his eyes. “It’s not really that weird…”

Winry was a bit confused by Ed’s sudden change of demeanor. One moment he was pushing her away, the next he was already willing to share a room with her. Maybe… maybe this meant she had finally managed to make a crack into his hard shell. That’s what she wished, anyway.

“R-right. Let’s go in then!”

When inside, Winry showed Ed which bed was his and quickly pushed some of her underwear peeking from her bag out of sight (this situation was awkward enough as it was, in her opinion). Then she told Ed she was feeling kinda gross after a long day out, so she would take a quick shower before bed. Grabbing her towel and night clothes, she left Ed alone with his thoughts.

He soon regretted his choice to stay in Winry’s room, because as soon as the water started running in the small bathroom, his thoughts started to go to the wrong direction. That was Winry in there, wet and very much naked so close to him, with only a thin wall between them.  

‘Stop it, Elric, you have absolutely no right to think of her that way,’ he ordered himself in his mind. ‘She deserves to be respected, not treated like I have treated her during the entire time we’ve been together here.’

Pictures of water dropping into places he should absolutely not be thinking about filled his mind, and he tried to think of anything else that might cool him down. Roy being gross in the locker room. Armstrong flexing his muscles in every possible situation. Periodic table. Perfect. That seemed to work.

He would have to tell her how he felt sooner rather than later, he knew that much, but this was still too soon. Besides, Al had been right; she had the biggest competition of her entire life coming, which meant he really shouldn’t mess with her more than he already had. It just got harder and harder every moment to keep everything inside him; they had been so close to kissing several times already, and once that happened… it would be impossible to deny that something was going on between them (obviously something was going on, but in Ed’s opinion, they hadn’t quite crossed that invisible line between friends and lovers quite yet.)

Ed’s thoughts were interrupted by the opening door. Winry had thrown her towel around her shoulders, wearing a satin top and shorts that were short enough to make Ed’s mouth drop. He shook his head and tried to focus on her face instead when he realized she asked something.

“Is… everything OK? Is your leg hurting or something? You look kinda weird.”

“Huh, yeah, it’s OK. Not hurting,” Ed stammered.

“That’s good. I was getting a bit worried.” Winry said, totally oblivious to the effect she had on him. “Hey, do you mind if I call it a day? It’s been quite a long one and Garfiel is expecting me to be at the meeting tomorrow morning, so… “

“Yeah, I am pretty exhausted myself…” Ed agreed and took his hoodie and jeans off, leaving him with his T-shirt and boxers. Then he laid down on his bed, pulling the covers on him.

Winry hung her towel on a chair and did the same. She was already nearly asleep when she heard Ed mumbling ‘good night’ from the bed next to hers.

“Sleep tight,” Winry murmured and passed out soon after.

Ed didn’t sleep tight, though. A lot of thoughts were running through his head, most of them making him confused. He had sworn after the Nina incident that he would never get anyone too close again, but then this girl had just suddenly skated in his life and not just broken but crushed the wall he had spent building for so many years. It was too late to back down now, which meant either they’d keep drowning in this weird tension between them, or… he’d have to make a move to progress things.

Probably two hours into rolling around in his bed with no sleep in sight, Ed heard Winry mumbling in her sleep.

“Ed…”

She was seeing a dream of him! Once again Ed’s thoughts started running too wildly, wondering what exactly happened in that dream of hers, but then he heard her say something else.

“Mum… dad… no!”

OK, definitely not the kind of dream he had first thought of, he realized quickly. Winry’s movements got more restless, and something that sounded awfully like sobs and whimpers could be heard from her bed.

“Winry? Are you awake?”

No response.

She was quiet for a while, and Ed was about to pull his covers back on and try to get some sleep when she started making noises again.

“No! Don’t go there!”

“Don’t go where?” Ed sat up again and reached for his crutches, so he could try to get Winry to wake up.

“Winry?” He sat on the edge of her bed and tried to shake her shoulders. At first gently, then a little bit harder. Without a warning, a fist shot up and hit Ed on the shoulder. Luckily, the hit wasn’t strong enough to throw Ed off the bed, but it made him gasp her name loudly, finally waking her up.

“What are you… Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Winry exclaimed when she registered what must have happened. Her knuckles were throbbing for hitting the automail port and Ed was still rubbing his shoulder, looking slightly… surprised? Frightened?

“I swear I didn’t mean to do that!” she hurried to add and gave him the most apologetic look she could manage.

“I know you didn’t, you were asleep…” Ed tried to calm her down, but that didn’t work.

“That doesn’t excuse it… Are you OK?”

“I think I can handle a hit to my metal shoulder… it’s you I’m worried about.”

“Why?” She had hit him. Shouldn’t he hate her or something?

“You were screaming and thrashing around a lot before you woke up. I tried to get you to wake up for a good while.”

“Oh… Seriously, sorry, Ed, I didn’t…”

“Would you stop apologizing already? If you think I’m scared of you… well, I might be, but for entirely different reasons.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t tell you yet.” Ed stated seriously. “This… isn’t the right moment. Hey, are you crying?”

“I’m sorry, I guess I just got so overwhelmed…” Winry managed to say between her sobs. “Not just about what just happened... This entire time I’ve been here has been quite an emotional rollercoaster… I guess I really am quite nervous about the competition, especially because I can’t practice at all… And I’m really missing my parents. I just saw a nightmare about them… and you.”

There was a time when Ed would have rather run away from a situation like this than faced it, and if he was honest, he still itched to do that, but his conscience started talking with Al’s voice and told him he needed to be there for his friend. How ironic, he thought, that his little brother had become his voice of reason. The Al in him pushed him to ask her about the dream, so he did:

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Winry was quiet for a while before answering: “I guess I’ve never told you the full story about them… I was 10 when it happened. As you probably remember, my parents were doctors, getting me interested in automail mechanics as well. One day there was a big accident on the road near Resembool, a truck crashed on a bus and a lot of people were injured. My parents, who were at home when the accident happened, were called into the hospital because they really needed all the extra hands they could get, and they of course were immediately ready to leave. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I had a very bad feeling when I watched them get into their car. And it turned out my instinct was r-right.”

She threw her arms on his shoulders when she leaned to sob against his t-shirt. She hadn’t let herself think about parents in a long while, so now the bottled emotions all seemed to come out at once.

“T-they d-died on a car crash on their way to the h-hospital. A d-drunk driver had driven to the wrong side of the road… and you c-can probably g-guess the rest…”

“Yeah,” he simply said, holding her a bit tighter and rubbing her back with his real hand soothingly.

“This is going to sound really weird, but… in my dream… you were with them in that car…”

Ed didn’t know what possessed him to say: “That doesn’t sound weird at all… Remember when you were in my room to see my automail and I just left suddenly? I… had a bit similar vision. I could see what happened with Envy and Al in my mind, but you were there too.”

That made Winry stop sobbing and she raised her head from Ed’s shoulder to see him better.

“You did?”

“Yeah… that’s why I freaked out so much. I realized it meant… something.” He still couldn’t say it aloud.

Instead of trying to tiptoe around the topic, Winry asked directly: “Ed? What the hell is going on between the two of us?”

“I really don’t know,” Ed answered. “I’m a mess and you’re a mess and I’m not sure if I’m ready to start anything yet… but that’s something I need to figure out,” he said with determination, giving her the hope she needed.

“Thanks for your honesty,” Winry said quietly and pulled Ed with her onto her bed carefully, mindful about his leg, so that they were laying on their sides, facing each other.

“Hey, cheer up.” Ed wiped some of her tears away with his fingers. “I hate to see you crying. The only tears I want to see from you are tears of joy.”

He inhaled deeply, trying to get some courage, and finally added: “Listen, I’m sorry I can’t tell you the things I want to tell you quite yet, I’m just not ready… But know that I won’t be going anywhere any time soon. Some damn persistent woman has finally managed to convince me.”

He was grateful she had buried her face against his chest again because his face was rather red when he said that.

“I’m glad,” she said, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso. He kept brushing her hair with his fingers, and they stayed like that until they fell asleep. No more nightmares were seen on that night.

[ali4822]

The Jedi and The Sith

I’m so sorry for the wait. I swore I posted this yesterday but I’m new to posting on here. This is also my first time writing fanfiction on tumblr so I hope you like it. Merry Pitchmas!@thoughtfullycrispyobject I saw that you shared some star wars things and thought you might like this.

Beca landed her personal tie phantom on the dessert floor and got out. She wore a black mask similar to a stormtrooper mask but slimmer, a pitch-black wool tunic, ruby red pleather tabards, everything else matching the color of the wool tunic. Kylo passed Beca off as his personal Stormtrooper and gave her as high of power as he could so no one bugged her or asked who she really was. That way everyone thought she was just an average high ranking stormtrooper with higher authority. Beca went over to him just as a rebellion space crafter exploded in the distance.

“Search the grounds and take care of anyone who is left. If you don’t there will be consequences,” Kylo said to Beca quietly behind his one mask. Beca nodded.

“I want everyone to leave, now,” Kylo ordered.

“But sir we have to search the grounds…” a stormtrooper started then looked up and stopped, realizing who he was talking to. “Yes sir,” everyone got on the shuttle and left the planet with the prisoner. Along with Kylo trusting Beca to take care of any problems.

Beca looked around seeing that all the stormtroopers were gone. She moved her robe and levitated her saber to her hand making it come on, the familiar red light and hum sounding as she walked the perimeter, listening carefully. She heard a blaster and started defending herself pulling the person to her using the force and stabbed him, looking away from him as she did it.

She heard another noise from a tent and levitated it up, throwing it across the desert floor.

“Please don’t hurt them,” Chloe said as she stood in front of two kids, her yellow lightsaber coming out preparing for a fight. Becas eyes flicked over to the two children and motioned for them to leave. The kids quickly ran from the scary person.

“You…you let them go,” Chloe said shocked and confused, she was always taught that the Sith were evil beings.

Beca raised her hand and pushed the woman’s robe away from her face to look at her.

“You’re a Jedi,” Beca said a little stunned. She didn’t expect a Jedi to look so…well hot.

“And you are a Sith,” Chloe said, starring at her. This woman easily killed that man outside but for some reason was not attacking her.

“Why…why aren’t you attacking?” Chloe asked with a frown.

“I…I don’t really know,” Beca admitted with a frown behind the mask, she knew she was supposed to. But, every time she tried to make a move it was like her body refused to follow through.

“You aren’t a Sith,” Chloe said softly watching the woman tense up and stand straighter.

“I’ve killed people, I’m fighting for the first order. You are the enemy,” Beca defended, but she didn’t believe her own words.

“You are just in pain, and afraid. You also doubt yourself. I can sense it. And he is using your doubt against you,” Chloe said her lightsaber powering down. “I saw you, you killed that man, but you didn’t look him in the face.”

“I…I have to do this. I have nothing else, he is all I have now,” Beca said gripping her lightsaber.

“Take the mask off,” Chloe said. Beca starred at her for a few minutes. Before she processed what she was doing, she had powered down her saber and was taking her mask off.

“Wow,” Chloe said thinking the girl was the most beautiful person she had ever seen.  

“What?” Beca asked.

“N…nothing. Sorry you just…you are shorter than I thought a, supposedly, Sith would be,” Chloe said.

“I didn’t realize Jedi jabbed at people’s heights,” Beca said with a glare.

“It wasn’t a jab, I think people that are shorter then me are cute,” Chloe said with a wink.

“Are…are you flirting with me?” Beca asked confused. “I just killed some guy and you are flirting with me,” Beca said.

“That does sound messed up now that you mention it,” Chloe said. Beca shook her head and turned to leave.

“Where are you going?” Chloe asked.

“I’m leaving, I’ve done my job,” Beca said putting her helmet back on.

“Will I see you again?” Chloe asked.

“I don’t know,” Beca said jumping into her tie phantom and took off.

XXXXXXX

Beca landed the aircraft, her mind and emotions on over load with confusion and doubt.

“You actually did it. I’m impressed, I didn’t think you’d be able to kill the kids,” Kylo said, thinking her emotions were about killing the children and not of the redhead.

“You knew,” Beca said clinching her jaw, trying to contain her anger.

“Of course, I did, it was a test. One I didn’t think you could pass but you did,” Kylo said.

“Now what?” Beca asked through clinched teeth.

“Now, go back to Jakku and look for any rebels, take them prisoner and get information out of them,” Kylo said and left. Beca got back in her spacecraft and left back to the planet where the mysterious, and beautiful, Jedi was.

XXXXXXX

Beca sat at the bar and downed another drink, she wasn’t in the mood for integration. Beca was confused and she hated it because she wasn’t supposed to be having these feelings. But that redhead made her question everything.

“So, we meet again,” Chloe said sitting next to her.

“What are you? Some stalker?” Beca asked looking at the redhead, she wanted to get away and go back to her ways but she couldn’t.

“Only with cute people,” Chloe smiled and winked.

“You are flirting with me again, why?” Beca asked, confused by the woman’s behavior.

“Why not?” Chloe shrugged.

“We are fighting opposite sides, we should be killing each other right now,” Beca pointed out.

“But we aren’t,” Chloe said softly.

“No…we aren’t,” Beca sighed accepting that she would never know why she was not attacking this woman.

“Besides, right now. I’m just Chloe and you are just….well I don’t know your name,” Chloe said.

“It’s Beca,” she said softly. Chloe smiled.

“Right now, I’m just Chloe and you are just Beca. So, have a drink with me,” Chloe said. Beca studied the red head and eventually gave in and agreed.

XXXXXX

During the night they moved outside on to a roof and were talking about anything and everything.

“So, how did you become a Jedi?” Beca asked.

“I was found by my master, Lily, my village had just been destroyed and my emotions were all over the place. So, stones and boulders were floating all over the place and one actually hit her,” Chloe chuckled at the memory. “It happened on a holiday, I can’t remember what it was called but in my village, there would be this plant hanging above the door where you would kiss under it and you’d exchange gifts. And there was so much love,” Chloe said with a blissful smile as she looked at Beca.

“It sounds wonderful,” Beca said.

Chloe bit her lip and took a shot in the dark by leaning forward and kissing her. Beca gasped but instinctively kissed back, she felt like a million fireworks were exploding in her body as they kissed.

When they pulled apart Beca blushed and looked down, catching sight of her mask. Beca starred at it and her smile started to fade into the harden mask she was used to wearing. Remembering everything that was going on around them.

“You could come with me you know,” Chloe said softly. “I’m just one person but both of us…we could both help the rebellion and I…I feel like we should stick together,” Chloe said taking her hand.

“I can’t, I have to go,” Beca said regretfully and started to get up.

“Wait,” Chloe said grabbing her wrist and pulling her back down. Beca grunted landing on top of her.

“What are you….” But before Beca could finish Chloe kissed her hard. It only took a moments hesitation to kiss back again.

Chloe smiled as she felt Beca untense and started truly kissing her back, coming back to the world of just them. Beca pulled back when she needed air.

“Stay,” Chloe said quietly stroking her cheek. Beca starred at Chloe for what felt like a life time before finally nodding.

“Ok,” Beca couldn’t help but say and kissed her again.

[primarilyff]

A Means to an End Part 2 Finale

This is the second and final part to this store. You can find part one here:https://primarilyff.tumblr.com/post/171400223791/a-means-to-an-end-im-writing-this-with-the

Chapter 2

'He knows.' Was the loudest thought in Adriens mind. Panic was filling him as he looked at his father. There was nothing but anger and hatred in his fathers eyes.

And Adrien knew why.

"You were always such a foolish child, but I did not think you would let yourself be fooled like this." Gabriel Agreste spoke. "To be turned against your father, and for what? The plight of an old man?" He scoffed.

"You keep hurting people father. That's why I fight. You have akumatized my entire class!" Adrien countered.

"It was a means to an end. I need the miraculous, they only appear if there is a threat."

"So you became that threat? Terrorizing all of Paris for power?" Adrien was furious.

"Not for power, for your mother." Gabriel said.

"What?" Adrien asked, stunned.

"Of course he hasn't told you. It's his way. Never letting anyone know too much or they might not need him any more." Gabriel took a breath. "The power of creation and destruction are the two strongest miraculous. When combined, they have the power to grant one wish to the one who holds the power. With that wish, I can bring back your mother."

Adrien was silent as the words settled in. He could have his mother back. "Why didn't you ask us?"

"Would you have listened? Handing over the two most powerful objects in the world to your enemy does not sound like something Ladybug would do." Gabriel responded.

The silence stretched between them for a moment as Adrien thought about that. Finally, Gabriel spoke again. "You will not be leaving this house again." With that, the windows locked in the entire house.

Adrien opened his mouth to protest but closed it immediately. Arguing would not help now.

Gabriel left the room and the door locked behind him.

Adrien went to his phone but Gabriel had disconnected the service. It seems he took down the wifi as well so the computer was all but useless.

Adrien cursed.

"What are you going to do, kid?" Plagg came up beside Adrien.

"Is what my father saying true? Can the miraculous grant any wish?" Adrien asked.

Plagg sighed. "In a sense, yes. But, it always comes at a price."

"What's the price?"

"It always depend on the wish. The bigger or harder the wish, the higher the price. If you wished for a million dollars, that money would have to come from somewhere. It could be taken away from someone who really needs it." Plagg elaborated.

"Do you know the price to bring back my mother?" It came out as little more than a whisper.

"Someone else would lose their life if the wish brought her back." Adrien looked at Plagg as the words hit him.

"We can't let Hawkmoth do that. Not after everything he has done. We need to stop him." Adrien walked around his room, trying to occupy his mind.

"We know who he is now, so it would be easy." Plagg said.

"Not if we're stuck in here. No, he would be expecting me to escape. This has to be something he wouldn't expect." Adrien snapped his fingers. "I've got it."

"Of course it's you." Adrien had kind of suspected. They looked similar and both were brave and intelligent and caring. He just wished it wasn't true.

"Adrien, we have to get out of here. It's not safe." Marinette was pleading.

"I'm sorry Mari. Plagg, claws out." Adrien could feel her terror as he approached. "Give me your Miraculous."

"Never." Marinette responded, and Adrien almost smiled. Defiant until the end.

"I don't want to hurt you, Princess. But I will get your miraculous."

Adrien easily retrieved Marinette's miraculous.

"How could you?" She sobbed out.

"Everything will be ok. I promise." Chat backed away from Marinette.

He looked to the pink Kwami, still clutched in Marinette's hands.

At this point, Hawkmoth walked back into the room. "I assume you have both miraculous now." He said coldly.

Adrien didn't look at Hawkmoth while he replied with a simple "Yes."

"Good. Bring them to me." Hawkmoth held out his hand.

Adrien didn't move. For a moment he looked from Tikki to Marinette. "This is for the best. Tikki, spots on."

"No!" Hawkmoth yelled.

Adrien felt the surge of power that came from the creation Kwami joining him. He thinks he screamed but could not tell for certain.

Suddenly, everything stopped. Adrien was still in Hawkmoth's lair, but time was stopped. He saw the look on his fathers face. It was pure rage. Marinette looked terrified but was reaching forward, toward him.

He touched the bars of the cage and they disintegrated at his touch. He slowly walked through the hole he left.

Adrien finally looked at himself. He seemed to be a swirling mass of light and dark energy. He could vaguely make out the shape of his body but a vapor kept rolling off his skin in puffs.

"What do I do? How do I make the wish?" He called out, hoping for an answer.

"Wish." A voice in the back of his mind said.

Adrien took in a breath before speaking. "I wish my father had moved on after my mother disappeared. The he did not become Hawkmoth and the miraculous that he has attained were returned to the Guardian like they should have been."

"What do you offer as payment?" A voice asked from everywhere.

"Me. My life and all memory of my existence." Adrien responded, hoping it would be enough.

"Adrien Agreste would cease to exist in this world. No one would remember you and you will have no life left. Is that the price you are willing to pay for your wish?" The voice asked.

"Yes." There was no hesitation in his voice. If his life was the price for peace, he would gladly pay it.

There was silence for a moment before the voice spoke again. "Accepted."

With that word, the world faded away. Adrien looked once more at Marinette. He didn't know what would happen to him now but he hoped she would be ok. She would be happy.

Adrien found himself in a world of white. He looked around and saw a lone figure sitting on the ground of the whitewashed world.

He approached and recognized her immediately. "Mom?"

She turned to look at him with a sad smile. She stood and embraced him. "I am so proud of you, Adrien." She said.

Adrien was too stunned to even move. "You're here." Tears were forming in his eyes and he hastily wiped them away. "I missed you."

She smiled softly at Adrien. "I missed you too. I'm sorry."

The apology was so unexpected that Adrien just looked at her. "Sorry for what?" He managed to ask.

"You should not be here yet, my dear. Please remember that I will always love you Adrien." She said as she started to glow faintly.

"What's happening?" Adrien asked but he was alone.

There was a blinding light that covered the world for a moment. When the light cleared, Adrien found himself in a very familiar park.

He heard a gasp and he turned to see Marinette and Alya sitting on a bench near him.

"Did I just imagine that boy appearing out of nowhere?" Alya asked.

Marinette didn't respond as she stared at Adrien.

"Uh, Marinette, you ok?" Alya's attention had shifted to Marinette.

Marinette took a hesitant step forward. "I-I know you." She said slowly.

Adrien was surprised. He remembered his wish. No one should remember him.

Marinette took another step. He could see confusion in her eyes as she looked at him. "Kitty?"

Adrien smiled his Chat smile and bowed slightly. "At your disposal, Princess."

He saw the pieces snap into place in Marinette's mind. "Adrien." She lunged at him and he easily caught her. There were tears streaming down her face. "I thought you were gone. I didn't even remember."

"Shh, it's ok. I'm here now." Adrien lifted his hand to rub her back when he realized he was holding something.

He opened his hand and smiled. The black Chat Noir ring and the Ladybug earrings were sitting in his palm.

Marinette saw them and gasped. Adrien offered the earnings to her and she took them and put them on.

"Marinette!" The little pink Kwami flew to Marinette's cheek and hugged her.

"Tikki!" Marinette hugged Tikki the best she could.

Adrien put the Chat ring on and Plagg materialized in front of him.

"Nice going kid. I knew you could do it."

"Really? I distinctly remember you saying you were against my idea." Adrien smiled at his Kwami.

"What is going on? Who is this? What are those?" Alya looked like she was going to explode.

Marinette laughed. "Alya, these are a few old friends. I'll explain everything later."

"Plagg, what happened?" Adrien asked.

The Kwami explained that sometimes, when an unselfish wish is made, where the person who made the wish gives up something important to them, that sometimes, the payment is really just a loan. It can be paid back later. It does not happen often, but they have seen it.

The world remembered who Adrien Agreste was and his modeling adds were once again covering Paris. No one, including Gabriel Agreste, remembered who Hawkmoth was or the few years that he terrorized their city.

Master Fu confirmed he did have possession of the Peacock and Butterfly miraculous once again.

Life was almost the same as before, Nathalie was still his fathers assistant but there was something between the two now.

Marinette was still Ladybug and Adrien was still Chat Noir. They didn't really have a super villain any more but they still wanted to protect Paris. And Paris accepted the two without question, as if some magic told the city to believe in their heroes.