#i feel this is fitting for it also being the year i decided to branch out with my blog posting a bit more

[13eyond13]

2024 Tumblr Top 10

1. 947 notes - Feb 25 2024

Remember how Griffith immediately told Guts he wants him and Guts was like are you gay and Griffith was just like "..." and then...

2. 820 notes - Mar 11 2024

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4. 530 notes - Feb 1 2024

5. 441 notes - Feb 4 2024

6. 430 notes - Mar 13 2024

The thing I respect most about Griffith Berserk is actually how ridiculously unsubtle with his hitting on Guts he is. Just...

7. 403 notes - Jun 21 2024

8. 321 notes - Feb 2 2024

Imagine if shortly after Light died in the warehouse it's revealed he also has a secret orphanage of little Lights being raised...

9. 310 notes - Jun 19 2024

you ever think about how Misa's lack of intelligence and the way she lets her emotions impulsively dictate her actions was kinda...

10. 297 notes - Feb 3 2024

one of my fave headcanons about Light is he worships L because he was the one who finally killed him.... like... if L had just...

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[dqrciedaily]

oblivious, m. cheli x sophmore!reader

a/n: lowkey kinda nervy to post this! but since it’s the woso off season i’ve decided to branch to wbb because morgan is number one loml rn

-

morgan cheli had never been so frustrated with her own feelings until she met you. she was used to many things not going her way, or anxiety filled bus rides before games. but nothing prepared her for the challenge of having a massive crush on the most oblivious person to walk this planet.

you were everything morgan admired: confident, talented, a natural leader on the court. as a sophomore, you had very quickly became one of the team leaders throughout the last season, and morgan had fallen for you almost instantly. the slight problem? you were completely oblivious to her feelings, mistaking all her gestures of affection for simple acts of friendship.

it started off with waiting. after practice, gym, dinner, anything. morgan always lingered near the exit, always ready to walk with you back to the wherever you were headed next. no matter how long you took to finish your ridiculously long post-practice routine or if morgan needed to walk in the other direction. she was there, waiting, everytime.

one day, as the two of you left the gym together, you glanced over. “you’re always so patient, you’re gonna fit in great here. i can tell!”

morgan shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, even though the simple compliment sent her mind into overdrive.

“seriously, i mean it,” you replied before walking inside your apartment building. morgan who had walked the whole way with you, had to turn back and walk “the walk of shame” as jana would call it, back to the main building where everyone else was.

then there was flowers. morgan had picked out a bright bouquet of daisies, after a particularly tough practice. she presented them to you with a bashful smile.

“these are for you. i just thought they’d brighten your day.”

the girls who were nearby snickered at the innocent gesture as you beamed at her, eyes lighting up with delight. “aww morgan! thank you! you’re such a sweet friend.”

morgan’s heart sank a little but she nodded, hiding her disappointment behind a smile.

you gently took the flowers out her hand, gave her a hug before walking off, bag in hand flowers in the other.

morgan watched in confusion as you walked off, she thought she was being a lot more obvious this time. paige patted her on the back in faux sympathy.

finally, there were the late night chats.

you often didn’t get involved in the tiktok lives, rather watching from the couch and laughing at everyone.

morgan usually would be apart of the lives but rather chose to sit on the couch with you instead.

“you also not feeling the live tonight?” she questioned trying to start a conversation.

you grinned before answering “i never join the lives, the comments annoy me and i can never read them quick enough, bloody irritating if you ask me!”

the conversation then flowed, the two of you completely oblivious to the others animatedly talking to the live, doing… whatever they do on lives.

that night when you got back to your apartment, you facetimed azzi, who you’d gotten super close to the past year.

she instantly accepted the call as she sat with paige on the couch “what’s up?”

“i think i like morgan… like a lot” you mumble

[californ1asnow]

Call Me Up Again - pt. 2 Mike Schmidt x Reader

Part two of All Too Well Angst!!! So much angst everyone I've decided to turn this into a miniseries, this post being the second part. I'll continue to link chapters as I post them This is also being updated on ao3 (cough cough) No warnings this time 1.9k words

Snowflakes fall silently, coating everything around them in a white dust. The wind blows with a crisp chill, nipping at all the rose-pink noses. It sends shivers down the backs of those who dare be out in this weather. The pumpkins and fake graveyard decor that had once littered every home’s front yard has long since been swapped for tinsel garlands and pine wreaths. 

The Schmidt residence beams with colored string lights and holiday music. A tall, sturdy evergreen sits patiently by the window. Its branches are decorated with years worth of homemade ornaments, ranging in all size and age from both Mike and Abby. The red skirt beneath it falls relatively empty of presents, only donning the few small ones Mike could afford to buy this year. They’re wrapped pathetically in an old birthday paper, the only wrapping Mike could find to reuse. 

Usually, the tree is so full that he’s had to store things in his closet, but that was when you were still a part of their Christmas. Stockings hung happily above the fireplace and a love so innocent it wraps the house in a warm glow. However, it’s void of that feeling now, instead Mike is left to pick up the pieces that you once fit together. Abby doesn’t understand why you don’t come over anymore, or why Mike has been so quiet lately. All she knows is that something went wrong, and now everyone is upset. She’s stopped bringing up your name in conversation when talking to Mike, because it always ends with him withdrawn and retreating to the solidarity of his room. 

That didn’t stop her from drawing you, though. Sometimes she’d sit at her desk, tears collecting in the well of her eyes, and doodle old memories of the three of you. She remembers them being happy, but by the time the crayons were set aside and the picture was finished, it was a glum mess of dark blues and frowning faces. 

After a drawing is finished she’d slip past Mike’s room, quietly tiptoeing out the front door, and make a break for the house across the street. Your house. She’d work fast, her feet carrying her quickly to and fro. It was unclear from her perspective whether you paid attention to what she’d give you, but by the time she slipped a new piece of paper underneath your door, the old one she had gifted you was gone. 

Mike was unaware of it all. 

He had found a new job in town where he could bury all his thoughts. It was working construction for a local contractor, a job that certainly wasn’t ideal but it paid better than what he’d been used to. Unfortunately, it required longer hours and ate up all his free time, meaning Abby needed a new babysitter. A job that was once happily filled by your company, now replaced with an afterschool program suggested to him from a flyer he found at work. He hated the thought of her sitting in essentially another classroom, surrounded by strangers and snotty kids, but it was his only option left. 

With a third of his paycheck dedicated to it, Abby now spends her weekdays at the nearby YMCA. 

The first time he told her about the new program didn’t go over very well. He remembers it clearly.  

“Abby please,” his irritated voice interrupts her incessant protesting, “listen, it’s the only place that can watch you.” 

“No it’s not!” She yelled at him, her finger pointing to your house across the street, “I want her back!”  

A pang of guilt struck his chest at her words. The lack of your presence has clearly been taking a toll on the both of them, but it’s the first time Abby’s ever been so vocal about it. He crossed his arms with a sigh, watching his little sister stare up at him with solemn eyes. Her lip quivering ever so slightly, evident that she’s holding back tears. 

He crouches down to her level, just like he had done to you so many nights ago, “I’m sorry,” he pleaded with her, “but she’s not coming back right now.” 

Her head shook with disbelief, stubbornly stuck in her spot, “Then make her come back.” 

–

You’re not sure when the Mike shaped hole in your heart stopped aching, but it’s significantly less sore compared to a fresh wound. That’s not to say the constant reminder of him and Abby living across the street from you doesn’t sting. It’s hard enough to ignore all his calls, but trying to get to your car while avoiding his gaze is even worse. Eventually, he gave up on contacting you by the third month of radio silence. It hurt both of you, but you knew deep down neither of you could continue functioning like how you were. 

The back and forth pull of his affection took too big of a toll on your mental well being. You can remember every moment down to the exact detail of how much you craved for him to just do something, anything. 

All those times you held him in your soft embrace whispering sweet nothings in his ear, reassuring him everything will be okay, just for him to turn around the next day and never bring it up again. Or when you’d run your warm fingers through his hair to calm him down after a panic attack, and he’d let his head rest in your lap. Words of affection dripping off his lips like a rich honey, warming you up from the inside out. Then he’d disappear for a while, claiming he needed some space to figure stuff out, all the while you’d beg and plead for him to tell you what’s on his mind, only for him to give you nothing back.You stood by him regardless though, keeping a silent promise that you’d always be there for him when he needed it, a love that was never reciprocated back. 

A long sigh escapes from you, eying the new delivery that just appeared by your door. You shuffle towards it weakly, unsure if you really wanted to torture yourself by looking at it. It’s one of those things that curiosity will drive you to do, unable to ignore it like a pedestrian passing by a car crash. The paper crinkles under your touch, unfolding it reveals the familiar childlike style of Abby’s drawings. A man drawn in green crayon frowns up at you, holding hands with an equally sad looking child. Your gaze drifts over to the other side of the paper, highlighting a person relatively similar to you standing alone with their arms crossed, angry. Your heart hurts at the sight of it, knowing that Abby is implying that you’re angry at the two of them. You shake your head quickly, trying to evade any tears that threaten to spill. It’s not fair for Abby to be caught in the middle of whatever is going on between you and Mike, and you realize that. 

The sound of your phone ringing breaks your train of thought, and when you check the caller ID your breath hitches. Standing in the middle of your living room frozen with indecisiveness, you stare at the screen while chewing on the bottom of your lip. Without thinking, you accept the call.

“Hello?” 

There’s a sound on the other end of the line, somewhere in between a choke and a gasp, and then your name is mumbled out in disbelief. 

“I didn’t think you’d actually pick up…” Mike’s voice is still a little startled, mimicking the internal panic in your chest. 

You suck in a deep, steady breath before answering, “Yeah, I didn’t think so either.” There’s a slight pause from both of you, unsure how to continue the conversation. It’s felt like years since you last heard his voice. 

“Are you…doing okay?” 

“...Yeah.” Your answer is unconvincing, but Mike doesn’t have any ground to be able to question it. So it’s left like that, timidly dangling in the air between you both. 

You hear shuffling in the background, and a smaller voice asking a question before he dismisses it. Your heart lurches thinking about how Abby is there, trying to figure out who her older brother might be on the phone with. It almost makes your cool demeanor crack, urging you back into your savior complex. 

“Uh, sorry about that,” your phone crackles back to life, “anyways, I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Oh okay.” 

“Can you,” he stops, leaving you on edge, “meet me somewhere?” 

The lack of response from you causes him to start rambling, going on about how it would be better to talk in person, and how it would be easier if you could see each other’s expressions. Soon afterwards, a string of apologies ensue, and you pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. 

“Okay Mike. Promise me this will be worth it.”

“I promise.”

–

A young waitress stares nervously at your booth. Orders continually piling up, hungry customers giving her rude looks whenever she ignores their impatient huffs. It’s been a good thirty minutes since you first showed, and she’s checked up on you at least a handful of times by now. Mike had suggested this little diner down the street from your house, and you agreed to meet here. 

However, it seems like you’re the only one who showed up. 

Your back is pressed against the uncomfortable foam board of your seat, a leg bobbing rapidly out of habit. You pick at the pills on your sweatshirt sleeve, trying to avert your gaze from the sympathetic waitress. Prior to your predicament, she had asked if you were dining alone, and you told her no. However, It’s starting to look like you just might be. With anger bubbling inside of you, a voice in the back of your head is saying you should have seen this coming. It’s so typical of Mike to make promises that he’s unwilling to keep. 

The air smells like grease, mostly from the old fryers sitting in the back of the kitchen. Oil bubbling and brooding in their tanks, waiting for someone to drop a morsel of food so it could shrivel in the scalding lard. Stomach stirring with disgust, a wave of nausea washes over you. It’s unclear exactly what’s causing it, you’d like to give credit to the sleazy restaurant, but something deep down points to the lack of a certain person’s company. 

You keep your attention trained on the dwindling heat of your coffee. Both corners of your mouth scrunch downwards at the smooth ceramic now held in your cold hands. When did watching a cup of coffee become so interesting? 

“Would you like some more?” The sweet but timid waitress asks you, now back at her spot beside your table.  

A joyless smile flashes across your face, a futile attempt at masking your dejection. Pushing the cup forward, silently accepting a fresh refill from her kettle. 

“He’s not worth it.” She adds, tipping off your mug. Her eyes refuse to meet yours as she does so, and you are thankful for that fact. 

“No,” you respond back, “he never is, I guess.” Your voice is shaky, as are the hands that are folded in your lap. 

Mike is not worth the years of being hurt and pushed away. Not worth the tears that fall after coming home from a night spent at his house, inconsolably sobbing because you know no matter what you do it leads back to the same thing. To give up all your time, love, and patience just to receive nothing in exchange. 

It’s not worth the unrequited love. 

“Can I have the check please?” You ask quietly, still avoiding the gaze of the girl next you. 

Her head shakes with pity, fingers wrapping around the arm of the kettle, “it’s on the house.”

TAGLIST - @wriothesleysbimbo @psbc @victimsofadownn @that1lxnlybxch @callsignwidow

[zeninprincess]

pastries and documents; n. kento

wc: 2.8k | nanami kento x reader | office au

warnings: drinking 🍸, the use of 'name', no beta we die like kento

office romance au where nanami is your boss who is secretly in love with you, and you're pining him so bad. reader gets sick and nanami took care of her

a/n: this was supposed to be aizen but i feel like nanami would fit this better than aizen 🤭 also if there's still "aizen" or "grimmjow" in it my bad bro im writing this at 3 in the morning I haven't edited shit.

“good morning mr. nanami”

“morning ms. lastname”

nanami was a man who couldn't care less about feelings, love, or carnal desires. a man like him is someone whose calculated, precise, and self-sufficient. so, when a liability like you exist in his life, nanami could not stand the fact you light up his world, he needs to have you. you two were nothing alike, nanami being the calmer individu while you're a ray of sunshine, a bomb of glitter.

you see, despite you two being a co-worker, for nearly a year or so, you two had never interacted much, and when you do it's limited to “good morning mr. nanami” or when you bump into him in the middle of the day you'd say “good afternoon” “good evening” and when departing from office you’d say “see you tomorrow”

just because nanami is someone who prefers being a lone wolf doesnt mean hes a cruel boss to you, he was neither cold nor tough. matter of fact, contrary to popular beliefs, he was warm and approachable, he's easy to talk to. almost each time you say greetings or farewell he'd flash you a closed smile, or a on a rare occassion he would reply back depending on how he feels that day.

so when you find yourself for almost a year only interacting formally, what was the straw that finally made you decide to make a move first? there was no easy answer to this however, what really prompted you to pine him was the fact that you were drunk at a your co-worker’s celebration party.

that evening a fellow co-worker, had gotten the promotion to become the branch manager. satoru decided to throw a drinking party at a bar in which your boss, nanami was invited as well. after a few too many drinks you're left in a state half conscious. and even though the night is still young, and you know that, you were never a big drinker. even before this you have never really drank much. knowing this, satoru made fun of you for being a goody two shoes and you were having none of that so you tried your best to prove it to satoru's face.

‘tried’ being the keyword because after 3 glass of beer you're tipsy already, stuttering and blubbering anything that comes to your mind. little did you know, nanami watched you from across the table. observing silently, like a wolf stalking it's prey. back to you whose now on your fourth glass of beer you chug it all down gaining cheers from people hyping you up. you wipe the foam of beer that sat just right at the corner of your lip, and just when you thought it was over they ordered one more glass of beer. feeling peer pressured, you laughed and chug down the fifth, and then the sixth all in under half an hour.

then, there you are tipsy and disorganised. perhaps feeling bad, nanami interfered before satoru could coax you into drinking your seventh glass. “alright thats enough” he said as he adjusts his glass, walking over to your seat. and just when hes about to reach you, everything turned black. your body went into shock from alcohol poisoning.

waking up in the er, you found yourself dishevelled, missing one of your stocking and your black sweater. lucky youre covered in duvet, because people could see whats under your mini pencil skirt that you wear everyday to the office. you look around and found nanami sitting beside you, reading something you cannot quite make out. you try to sit up only to fall back into the not-so-comfortable hospital bed.

nanami turns his head to you, “easy, you could break that pretty little skull of yours” he chuckles as he helps you adjust your position. “w-what happened?” you ask, your voice raspy from dehydration. but before nanami could reply, a nurse and a certain white haired individual walks in.

“thank god… you could have a permanent brain damage. its because mr. nanami youre still alive!!” satoru said as he hugs you, his face shows guilt and especially concern about your wellbeing. “you see, you could have died, but thank god mr. nanami took you to the hospital as soon as you pass out. doctors had to pump your stomach to get the alcohol out of your system” satoru mansplained while you writhe in pain as you feel your head spinning around.

the nurse who was adjusting your iv, gave you a glass of water to reduce your migraine. nanami, whose sitting again now scolds satoru for pressuring you to drink more than what you can drink. you shot a weak smile as you thanked the nurse before she departed from the room.

thank god it was friday, you had saturday and sunday to rest. as nanami drove you home the next day, you couldn't stop thanking him for his action that saved your life and the fact that he paid for all your hospital bills.

“are you sure it's okay mr. nanami? i could send you back the-”

he cuts you off

“dont worry name, its my obligation to watch over other co-workers. besides, whats more important is youre alive and well” nanami replied followed with a smile. his eyes watched the road intently.

“i mean i know you would do the same to me name. im just returning the favor early”

you don't know why but that moved something inside of you. the way he articulate those words makes you feel a certain way. maybe its the fact hes so charming, or maybe how eloquent he is, dancing with words as if its his usual routine, it might also be the fact that he just have that natural charm, i mean the guy is enchanting, elegant, and articulate. but you would blame it to the fact that it's the first time you heard him talks about something other than stupid company stuff he usually discussed during meetings.

“right name?” he asks

“in a heartbeat mr. nanami” you replied. he clicks his tongue, the way his name rolls on your tongue sounds like songs of praises in his ears.

“call me nanami, or kento when it's just the two of us” you look at him, surprised by his request. you were surprised since you aren't even close to him hell, it's the first time you guys ever talk to these extent, somehow it felt like you knew each other for eternity.

that’s when you decided to return the favor by making him an apple pie on sunday morning. baking has always been your forte since you were young. with a family of chefs and bakers, you were taught how to bake sweets and pastries as soon as you could walk. and it grows on you because every time you have the opportunity to bake, you will do it and this one of the instances where you actually got a chance to do so.

monday comes, you walk into the office with files on your left hand, bag on your shoulder, and a freshly baked apple pie on your right hand. you knocked on his door with one of your elbow, then you opened the door. there he is, basking in all his glory with documents and files mounting all over his desk. he looks up to you. smiling, his eyes flicks into your right hand.

“i hope im not interrupting you, mr. nanami. i baked you a pie as a thank you gift” and with that you place the pie on his desk.

“oh you don't need to do this, but I guess thank you” he smiles. “uhhh its such a shame it's bigger than my stomach. if you dont mind, should we eat this together later?” he offered.

your words stumbled, your breath quickened, and your face turned red. “um, absolutely! but won't I upset your girlfriend?” you asked hoping he would say something like…

“i dont have a girlfriend”

oh… relief washes over you kmowing that nanami isnt taken, not yet atleast. well it's set then, you two are going to have lunch together.

this process repeats again and again. some day you found yourself wasting your break time to come to him, you even picked up his habits of staying up late in the office. and it was not unnoticed by your colleagues, especially satoru. he wonders if you got alcohol poisoning was a blessing in disguise. his boss who's now turning 35 finally found himself a girlfriend, or so he hoped.

despite the contrasting differences between you and nanami, you found yourself drawn to him like a moth to a flame, engaging into him more and more. each day you found yourself developing a crush on your boss. you even began to boldly flirt with him.

nanami on the other hand he's not really playing hard to get nor did he reciprocate, he was just there deflecting your sweet talks and your attempts to seduce him. although, deep inside nanami loves to see you try and pine him. he loves your attention and the pastry you bake him as an attempt to get him to fall in love with you.

he was a silent lover, he loves you from afar watching to his heart content, he loves when you do small things only he noticed. for example, when you're anxious you'd bite the nail of your thumbs, or how your fingers curls around your locks when thinking. he found all of that cute, it just fits you so perfectly. he also plays favourite with you, and it really stirred up your dynamic with your co-workers.

he would do things like extending your deadline, dismissing you whenever you're late, even giving you extra day off whenever he saw you depraved of your sleep. he would praise you here and there but he never really show how much he likes you, unless you really look into it.

your mother taught you that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and it's true because after weeks of baking him pastries, cake, sweets, spending lunchtime with him, he felt empty the day you didn't come to work and brought him his pastries as usual. your mom taught you well and nanami is the proof.

you never skipped a day working, even when he insists on giving you extra time off, you would deny the offer “i want to see you you know” you gave him the same excuse each time. until today, where you were nowhere to be found, not in the office kitchen, not in the cafeteria, and ofcourse your cubicle is empty.

nanami was alarmed by your absence from work, as you had never skipped a day before. he was also troubled by the fact that you didn't pick up his calls. He inquired about your location to satoru, who was smoking a cigarette outside the building while they both sipped their coffee. satoru then provided nanami with your information.

you were sick, you had high fever from getting wet when walking to the train station last night and now it made sense. nanami quickly called his secretary and told her to clear his schedule for the day. after that, he hurriedly drive himself to your house. he wanted to see you, he needed to see you. with a basket of fruit and a few medicine on his left hands and his briefcase on his right hand.

standing infront of your apartment door, a 6’1 man ringing the bell with each second he grew impatient, and he decided after the third time ringing your bell that he would invite himself in, but before he could do that he was met with a clicking sound of the white door.

looking up, your eyes met nanami’s. you were taken aback at the sudden appearance of nanami. sharp features adorned his already perfect visage. his suit is always neat with no signs of crinkles or stains. it's a stark contrast to your appearance now, with your hair tangled, covering yourself in your warm blanket, face pale as a ghost.

“can i come in?” he asks.

you took a step behind, letting him in.

“sorry if it's messy” you muttered under your breath, your voice has a hint of raspiness from lack of hydration, it was the same raspiness nanami once heard in the hospital. you invited him to your living room, setting down the medicine and fruits.

“tis for me?” you eyed the fruits and the meds. he nodded his head.

coughing non stop, he leads you down to your beige sofa. he put a palm on your forehead. you were burning up and nanami couldn't help but pray for god to just transfer all the pain you feel right now to him. he couldn't bear seeing you like this. then, he heard your stomach grumble loudly, and nanami couldn't ignore that.

“you haven't eaten yet? see, this is why young people these days get sick easily, they skip breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and- bla bla bla bla… you couldnt really process his scolding as you're too sick to argue back. seeing you rolled up in your duvet, trying not to fall asleep on the couch melts his heart.

-and the way you younglings live, my god you guys would rather stay up late to procrastinate more” his scolding came to an abrupt end when he felt your hand holding his. you didn't spoke any words but nanami understood.

“sorry, i'm just concerned for you” he paused “it's just, i don't want anything to happen to you” he elaborate further.

now nanami found himself pacing to your kitchen, taking off his blazer, loosening his tie, rolling up his sleeves. see, the thing about nanami is that he'd do anything for his loved ones, he may not be the best at cooking but he'll try and definitely succeed at that. he's planning to make you an egg porridge.

you desperately crawl to the kitchen trying to stop nanami from burdening himself but to no use, he carries you back to the living room and pins you on the couch.

“be a good girl for me, yeah? the porridge is already done so wait here” and you just nod. he smiles and paces himself to the kitchen once more before coming back with a tray of porridge and tea. “here, i know i'm not the best at cooking but atleast eat up for me” he said as he set the tray down to the table.

you eagerly sat up, ready to taste his food. he sat beside you and fed you with a spoon. “hey! im not a child. i can feed myself!' you protested, but nanami didn't give in. now you were being fed by your own boss whom you'd never have thought would do things to this extent for the sake of his ‘co-worker’

after a while the bowl is empty and you've taken your meds, the one that nanami bought you. he praised you for being good.

“so you do care about me nanami” you smiled as you teased him. expecting no response as usual, you were surprised when he replied back to your teasing. you followed him to the kitchen, he's doing your dishes while you sat on the kitchen island.

“of course i do. i'm worried sick for you!!” he exclaimed. “day and night I think of you, your wellbeing, your whereabouts. i sleep and the first thing i think about after opening my lids are you. when i see pastries i couldn't help but missing you, i breath for you, i want you no, i need you name” he confessed.

“ever since you started working here i-” he paused. “i was waiting for the chance to talk to you” he sighed. glancing at you.

your face reddened, the confession took you aback. he looked at you with loving eyes, it was as if nanami were drunk in love. “im not a man of many words but I always try” he continues his rambling while soaping up spoons “nanami… all these times i thought you're just being nice to me. i didn't know that you like me back”

“like?” he scoffed, not in a cocky way “no, no, you're wrong. i not only like you but I fell in love with you name” he continues to express his deep feelings for you.

“so…”

“be mine name, please. i can't stand the thought of you- mmph!!” he was cut with a deep kiss.

he didn't hesitate to kiss you back, deeper, more aggressive, it was full of desire yet gentle. you pull back and he's already missing your lips. “yes! yes i do!!”

“let me take you on a date, please” he begs. you chuckled and nodded to his request. “come here and kiss me already” he smiled as your lips dominate each other.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

bonus:

satoru cursed under his breath as he look at the clock, it was 11pm he found himself juggling between his works and your unfinished documents that nanami had forced him to finish during the days you were sick.

“god damn it. he better gave me a raise after this!!”

©️ zeninprincess 2024. reposting, plagiarizing, translating or claiming my works are strictly forbidden.

[poproccks]

John Dory Headcannons!

★ Glove is a compression glove for an old injury; a major burn scar that lines his fingers, palm, and paw pads on his left hand. (Inspired by @teaOwOstache’s comic – I am currently writing a one-shot for them based on their amazing comic.)

★ Has about an inch of white hair from the sheer power of Crimp’s vacuum. I, personally, believe that the vacuum’s power accelerated the talent-leaching tremendously and caused physical effects to show sooner. (Also shown on Bruce and Clay)

★ Various scars from his years of camping, foraging, cooking, hunting, and other things related to the nomad life.

★ He is the third tallest of his brothers, being almost the same height as Bruce. Second shortest of Brozone.

★ He was left-handed before the burn incident – and had to reteach himself how to write with his right hand instead since his left hand shakes too badly to write properly now. His handwriting, while improved, still isn't as good as it used to be.

★ Has nightmares occasionally like Branch. I like to imagine they bond slightly over that fact once they do get closer – obviously, it's still nothing like Branch’s and Floyd's relationship.

★ Building off the last point, JD tries not to feel too bitter about the close relationship they have. He realizes that the fractured relationships he has with all of his brothers are his own doing. He’s doing his best to get to know them all now and learn about their interests and hobbies. JD still walks on eggshells around them all about 60% of the time after a few more major blow ups between them. He is John Dory, however, so he still crosses lines many times by accident.

★ Thickest and fluffiest tail of Brozone (more of a general HC but, tail hair/fur can move like Troll head hair/fur.)

★ Very active, and regularly takes walks, runs, etc around Pop Village to keep up his fitness.

★ Found Rhonda when he was in his early 20’s and she was a much smaller bug bus. (Inspired by @ohposhers) She grew rather quickly after that and they became inseparable. John Dory handles all of her repairs and anything to do with her healthcare. He becomes very anxious when he has to pass that responsibility to anyone else. Branch took care of an ailing Rhonda once because he was the only one in the village with the needed materials and ingredients for the medicine. (“Who's crazy now? Me. Crazy prepared,) The dull-toned troll basically had to beat John off with a stick to get him to listen/let him help the poor bus, basically like a Helicopter parent. I genuinely believe without her, John Dory would absolutely crumble. Troll dust.

★ Stay’s in Branch’s bunker the most of the four others, besides Floyd who decided to move to Pop Village. When he’s feeling especially bad or wants to be alone, he will still retreat into Rhonda. She is basically an oversized security blanket.

★ Smells like either dust, fresh dirt, or rain. Definitely smells like something naturey. Branch smells like things similar, but it’s noticeably different.

★ Usually ALWAYS has something stuck in his hair or tail, no matter how small. Dust bunnies from exploring or helping clean, leaves, branches (ha), and other miscellaneous things.

★ Usually has the following in his hair pocket dimension; 2-3 bandaids, an extra glove, chapstick that he always loses, granola bars, and a small thing of water; just in case. Oh, and treats for Rhonda.

★ Carries an old family photo of his brothers and Grandma Rosiepuff from right after Branch hatched. His parents were also in it, but have long been torn out.

★ His goggles, past and present, were from his father (Also inspired by @teaOwOstache) and so he takes begrudgingly good and meticulous care of them.

★ Definitely a victim of parentification/older sibling syndrome. (I’m not projecting, you are.)

★ The order of brothers he bonds or reconnects with the easiest to hardest; Floyd, Bruce, Clay, Branch.

★ Suffers from aches and pains when it's cold or rainy out. He refuses to admit it is because of age.

★ Self soothes by pulling at his jacket, running his fingers along the zipper teeth, or adjusting his goggles when anxious.

★ If he doesn’t want to make eye contact or is crying or about to, he’ll pull his goggles on. It’s easier to hide than to explain. He gets better about talking about it but emotions are always a sore subject and difficult for him.

★ Like most Trolls, John Dory can hiss, growl, and purr.

★ Dark blue paw pads, with blunt nails with chipped polish.

★ When he went back to the troll tree pod, after mourning what could have been, he collected mementos of his brothers and his grandma; Branch’s old baby blanket, Floyd’s old plushie, Bruce’s old hoodie, One of Clay’s old books and a blacket Rosiepuff knitted long ago. They’re hidden in a box on Rhonda.

[runawrites-blog]

But It's Not Time (Levi x Reader)

Summary: After getting injured during a scouting mission, you are trapped in a tree to await rescue. Thankfully, you're not alone because your captain, old friend and the object of your affection, Levi Ackerman is there to help you until backup arrives. But as time goes on and your state worsens, you two start to worry whether or not you will make it. (Gender-Neutral Reader) Word Count: 2,915 Warnings: Talk of Injuries and Blood. Angst. No Y/N. A/N: Guess what fandom I added to the list of stuff I write for! You'll never guess, I bet! No, but in all seriousness, I added AOT/SNK to the lists of fandoms I write for, so feel free to request something for that fandom, as well. I'll write it as long as it's for adult characters and you adhere to my 'What I Will Not Write' list. The lyrics at the beginning of this are from the song "The Gambler" by Fun which is one of my favourite songs and fits so well. I really hope this isn't OOC by the way because it is one of my first times writing for Levi.

---

You swore you’d be here ‘til we decide that it’s our time

Well it’s not time, you’ve never quit in all your life

So just take my hand, you know that I will never leave your side

---

“You’re lying to me.”

You looked up at Levi, ignoring the pain in your leg, the way your wet clothes clung to you and how cold you were from the storm around you. He looked back at you, still standing on the branch of the tree you had been hiding on for the past hour. Your pained expression and slight shivering must have alerted him to the fact that you were not as fine as you’d told him you were.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you injured?” Levi asked sternly, looking down at where you were sitting against the trunk of the tree. “Do not lie to me.”

“I told you. I think I twisted my ankle.” You lied, shaking your head dismissively. “I’ll be alright. What we need to worry about now is looking out for titans and for other Scouting Legion Members that could help us get back to base.”

“I am your squad leader and as such I would like to know the truth.” He said but when you just averted your eyes withtout answering he decided to change his tactics. “Besides being your squad leader, I am also your friend, aren’t I? You always refer to me as such. Shouldn’t you be honest with your friends?”

He was right and you knew it. You two had been friends for years, had gone through the hardest of battles together and had only grown closer as a result. And it would’ve been a lie to deny that your feelings had grown past those of friendship in the last few months. You couldn’t lie to your friends, to the man you cherished and had fallen for. Besides that, the pain in your leg was also getting worse and you decided to tell him the truth.

“I-- I think that I actually hurt my leg quite-- quite badly while falling down from my horse. And I’m sure I’ve made it worse by-- by jumping up and trying to go after my horse. The straps of my maneuver gear are pressing on it though, so-- so I should be fine.”

“And why would you not tell me?”

“I didn’t want to worry you. I don’t think the bleeding is that bad and as I said, the strap is applying pressure.”

“You not telling me is much more worrying.” He said sternly though you heard the worry seeping into his voice. “If you are injured, I’d like to know.”

“I thought that we’d be found quicker.” You sighed as you leaned your head back against the tree. “We had so much else to worry about that I didn’t want to add to that when I thought we’d be back at our base within no time.”

“Next time, don’t worry about worrying me and tell me if you’re injured.” Levi said before he knelt down in front of you. “May I have a look?”

“I guess that would be a good idea.”

You slowly reached down and tried to roll up the leg of your pants but found that with how it was sticking to you after the rain had gotten it wet it was almost impossible. So you ripped it open, flinching at the shoot of pain it sent up your whole leg. When you saw the wound for the first time you gasped. There are a huge cut stretching upwards from above your knee to just underneath the valley of your hips. Now without the added pressure of the straps, the blood was pouring out more freely.

“I’m going to bleed out, aren’t I?”

“I won’t let you.” Levi promised and looked around before shaking his head in desperation. “I need something to stop the bleeding with.”

You swallowed thickly, tears welling up in your eyes. If Levi was this concerned, things must have been more serious than you had initially thought. Fear gripped ahold of you again and you had to take several deep breaths to not cry. But Levi had noticed, observant as ever. He turned back to you, eyebrows furrowed.

“What’s wrong?”

You swallowed against the lump in your throat but a few tears still rolled down your cheeks. “I’m sorry, it’s just that if you’re this worried I-- I must be pretty bad off, right? This situation must be more-- more hopeless than I previously thought.”

He looked at you for a few seconds as if contemplating on what to do before he knelt next to you and put a comforting hand on your arm. “I will do whatever I can to get you back to base safely.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

“No formalities. I’m not your captain now. I’m your friend who’d like to get you back to base safely.” To his shock, you started crying at his words and he inched closer, looking you over in a slight panic. “What did I do wrong? Did I say somthing?”

“Thank you so much.” You sobbed out quietly, wiping at your teary eyes. “When I hid by the base of the tree I thought I was going to die but you saved me and now you’re still saving me. Thank you, Levi.”

“Of course I am.” Levi said softly, giving you a stern look. “I am your friend. Now let me think of how to stop the bleeding.”

About ten minutes later saw Levi provisionally applying a turnequette fashioned out of the straps of your gear and you trying not to make any noises while he did so. When he was finally done you looked up and gave him a thankful smile. It was getting harder and harder to not slur your speech or slump fruther down on the branch.

“Thank you.” You whispered and looked down, noticing your bleeding hand. “I must have bitten it pretty hard when-- while trying not to make any noise. But it’s-- but that’s nothing to worry about.”

“Your speech is slurring.” He pointed out and sat down next to you. “You have to stay away, alright? Help is on the way.”

“How-- how do you know that?” You slurred, trying to focus on Levi but it was getting increasingly harder to focus on anything and to keep your head clear. “I get that you’re smart and-- and a good soldier and-- but you’re not-- How do you know?”

Levi raised an eyebrow in concern and inched closer to you. “I sent out a flair earlier. Green for an injured and lost soldier. Don’t you remember?”

“Green.” You nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, green.”

“You know if Hanji was here she’d laugh at you slurring your words.” Levi remarked softly as he looked back at you. “You sound so thoughtful when you talk about the colour green.”

“It’s a pretty colour.” You retorted, pushing yourself up to sit a little straighter. “Can I-- Is it okay if I take a little-- if I just close my eyes for ten minutes?”

“No.”

“Five minutes?”

“No, you have to stay awake.” Levi urged and shook his head, fishing around in the little bag the horse had dropped earlier as it had taken off, pulling out a little flask. “Here, have a drink.”

“Is this the time for alcohol?”

“It’s water, you moron.”

You chuckled at his insult before a smile overtook your face. “I like that more. I don’t like it when you’re-- when you’re too nice and soft. Makes me wonder if-- if I’m hallucinating. Doesn’t matter that I’m injured. Just insult me.”

Levi gave a dry laugh at that and then tipped your head back, gently helping you drink some of the water. You drank half of the flask before pulling back and looking at him. Levi gave you a questioning look.

“You need to-- you need water, too.”

“It’s raining. I can just collect more water.” Levi reasoned before holding the flask to your lips again. “You’ve lost a lot of blood. You need to drink.”

“Alright.” You nodded and let him help you take another sip before he leaned you back against the tree trunk while you smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. How are you feeling?”

“Cold and wet and hurt.”

Levi looked at you for a few seconds before he shrugged off his cape and draped it over your shoulders. You tried to wave it off, not wanting him to be cold, but he grapped your hand, holding it to stop you from taking the cape off.

“Take it. The cold will only make you feel worse.”

It was ironic because you had longed for this sort of gesture from Levi for years, your feelings for him only getting stronger every time you spoke to him. You two were friends and you knew that yet this gesture would have delighted you had you not been in such a dire situation. Knowing that Levi would probably not feel the same either way you shoved your thoughts away, instead giving him a small smile as you pulled the cape close around your body.

“Thank you. You know, I’m really glad you’re my friend.”

“Likewise.”

A smile tore your face and you leaned back to watch Levi scout out your surroundings, then cursing under his breath as he still saw no other soldiers coming. You hoped they weren’t waiting out the storm before they came to your rescue. Levi seemed to notice your worry and sat down next to you, turning his head to face you.

“You’re going to be fine, I promise. All you have to do is be quiet and stay awake. The others will find us soon.”

“I hope so.” You whispered, tears brimming at your eyes. “My-- my little brother is in-- He’s also in the Survey Corps and I can’t leave him alone.”

“I know.” Levi said and inched closer to you. “And you won’t. I’m sure right now he is safe with the others and in due time, you will see him again. We just have to wait a little longer.”

You swallowed then and turned to Levi, pulling out a small silver locket. “My father gave it to me for-- for my sixteenth birthday all those years ago. And-- Well, should I not make it--”

“No.”

“Would you give it to my brother?” You mumbled out, tears running down your cheeks. “It’s not worth a whole lot but I’m sure he could use it-- He’ll find a use for it.”

“I won’t give it to him.” Levi said sternly. “You’ll be able to do that yourself. Because I will get you back to base safely.”

“We’re running out of time, Levi.” More tears cascaded down your face as you slowly leaned into Levi’s shoulder, exhausiton and the need for comfort overtaking any restraints you had about being so close to him. “I’m bleeding so much. I’ll never make it.”

“You will. Just keep your eyes open.”

“It’s so hard to-- I’m so exhausted and--” You paused, taking a deep breath and looking up at Levi. “Can you slap me across the face or-- or something? I need something to keep me conscious.”

“You want me to slap you?”

“Unless you-- you have a better idea to keep me from passing out.”

Levi was quiet for a few seconds and drew back a bit, making you raise from his shoulder. You expected him to slap you or shake you to keep you conscious. His hand came close to your face but instead of doing anything you had asked for he cupped your cheek and before you could question what he was planning he pressed his lips to yours, his eyes closing.

Your eyes grew wide in shock and you felt more awake than you had been in the past hour. But you quickly reciprocated, eyes fluttering shut as you leaned in to your best ability with you still being injured. He held your face gently, thumb rubbing your cheek as he gently leaned you back againt the tree with his free hand. A bolt of lightning struck a nearby tree and despite you trying to chase after his lips Levi pulled back from the kiss.

“I told you to keep your eyes open.”

Blinking back at him, you gave him a soft smile. “I thought you’d make an exception for me just this once.”

“Not when you’re this injured.” He said sternly, leaning closer again. “Do you feel more awake now?”

“Defintely.”

“Good because I’m going to climb a bit higher to get a better view and see if anyone is approaching, yet.” He said but before he stood he ran his hand along your cheek once more. “Hang on for me until I’m back.”

Before you could answer, he was gone, using his gear to get to a higher branch and dissapearing between the leaves. His absensce gave you a much needed chance to think. You had long since come to terms your feelings for Levi but he had never shown you any interest beyond being friends with you, so you had accepted that your feelings would remain unreciprocated. But now you wondered whether or not he felt the same way or if he’d simply kissed you to keep you from passing out.

“I see horses approaching!”

You nearly jumped out of your own skin when Levi landed in front of you, hair once again drenched from the rain as he knelt down by your side. With help approaching you wondered when you’d again get the chance to talk about what the kiss had meant, so you gathered all your courage and decided to ask him.

“Levi, may I ask you something?”

“This is not the time. We have to get you to safely first.” He said, standing and getting beside you before he grabbed you underneath the arms and helped you stand. “Whatever you want to ask it can wait.”

You quieted down at that, partially because you knew he was right to want to concentrate on getting to safety first and partially because of your pain skyrocketing at having to stand up. Despite trying to keep your pain hidden Levi once more saw right through you and hoisted your arm over his shoulders to support you. Exhausted and in pain you leaned your head against him and Levi let you.

“I will get you to safety, I promise.”

---

“How are you feeling?”

You looked away from watching the rain outside the window of the small castle this expedition had set up camp in to face Levi. He was standing in the doorway to the small medical bay you were currently staying at after you had been treated. You pushed yourself into a sitting position to get a better look at Levi and when you saw is worried expression youhave him a soft smile, hoping to reassure him.

“I’m alright. I had to get stitches on my leg but I’m alright now, still in pain but no longer in danger of bleeding to death.”

“While it’s not good that you’re in pain I’m glad you’re in a stable condition.” Levi said, coming closer to your bed and resting his hands on the board at the foot of it. “You had me worried about you.”

A surprise chuckle left your mouth at that confession. “You were worried about me?”

“You were injured, bleeding profusely and far away from basecamp. Of course, I was worried about you.” Levi said sternly, frowning at your reaction. “Is it that hard to believe that I worry about you? You are my friend, after all.”

His words made you stall because it reminded you of how you still wanted to know what the kiss you’d shared had meant and if he also felt more for you than friendship. “Levi, may I ask you something? The thing I wanted to ask you about before?”

“Does it happen to have anything to do with me kissing you?”

“Yes.” You nodded, swallowing nervously before speaking up again, gathering all your courage to confess to him. “I’m aware that you might have simply kissed me to keep me from passing out but I want to be honest about my feelings for you just on the offchance that you feel the same. I’m in love with you and I have been for a while now. You probably don’t feel the same and--”

Having apparently had enough of your rambling Levi decided to stop you and he did so by once more pressing his lips to yours. But before you could even react or let alone reciprocate he pulled back again, eyes locking with yours.

“I apologise but I had to make you stop talking before you got it all wrong.” Levi said and at your slightly confused epxression he sat down on the foot of your bed. “I was unsure of whether or not I was really in love with you but I think the prospect of losing you today made me realise what these feelings really were.”

“You feel the same?”

“I’m in love with you.” Levi said before he reached out to gently push you back against the pillow. “But now you need to rest so you won’t hurt yourself even more. Can you do that for me?”

“I can.”

Levi gave you a small smile before standing back up and nodding his head toward the door. “I have to report back to Erwin now but I will check in on you afterwards, I promise.”

“Levi, just one more thing before you leave?” “What do you need?”

“Would you kiss me again?”

“Of course.”

[sulumuns-dootah]

3. 12. Agares - Picking out a tree

      ༺☆༻

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

⋆꙳·❅‧The Yule festival of Hell 2‧❆ ₊⋆

A/N: Did I just create a possible crack OC of an old demon lady for this? I guess so :D The more I think about her, the more backstory i come up with

      ༺☆༻

It's only the beginning of December and it's already so cold, you'd surely freeze to death if it weren't for the coat that Agares irritatedly put around you. Hell does really freeze over sometimes, huh?

“This is why I was telling you to bundle up, and yet you declined that it won't be so cold.” the former king of Nifflheim scolds you the whole way.

You're not really listening to him, having opted to tune him half way through. Since he's been dethroned, he's been more and more moody and snappy. Hopefully this year's celebration can get him into a better mood.

You and Vassago were hard at work to organise everything necessary. Most of the preparations was done, except for picking out the perfect christmas tree, which Agares insisted on picking out personally himself.

The place that you decided to grace with -your- his presence was a square, quite miniature compared with the size of the trees being sold there. One of Agares' requirements was that it was bigger than the one Belphegor has in his palace.

That wasn't much of a challenge since, if Beleth wasn't messing with you, the kings had a small plastic tree in a corner of his room and nothing really fancy. And yet, Agares still demanded that his tree is so tall it can only barely fit into his palace.

Approaching the tree selling place, an uncomfortable feeling takes over you as you become more and more aware of how tiny you are in comparison to the trees being sold there. If you wanted to see the very tops of some, you had to crane your neck so much, you felt it pop a few times.

“Hmm... Yes, these might be exactly what I'm looking for...” Agares ponders and leaves your side to briskly walk towards one of the trees that piqued his interest.

Meanwhile you're still shivering despite being covered in a very expensive winter coat. Perhaps you could ask one of the seller demons if they'd at least have a cup of tea or something for you to warm your hands.

And after having talked to a really nice older female demon, most likely the seller's wife, your hands are finally regaining feeling while absorbing the heat of your beverage. Agares is still walking around the area, inspecting trees weather smell nice, their needless fall off too much...

“He must be a lot to deal with, if you forgive me for speaking up about him...” the old lady joins your observation.

“Ye-yes... He is, but he does have his good moments. Sometimes he-” you're about to confide with this seemingly maternal demoness, when Agares interrupts you with a commanding voice: “Y/N, come here! I have made my choice!”

As you join him in front of the massive tree, Agares wraps his arm around your waist and kisses your cheek. You both lift your heads to see the highest branches leading up to the highest point and sigh out. Agares, because he feels content that Belphegor will be no match to outdo him this year with his tree. And you, because it's clear to you that it will in the end be your task to decorate this skyscraper of a tree.

      ༺☆༻

But wait, this demon also has a gift for you!

"Ah, my queen/king. I see you haven't had the time to get a crown made for yourself, so I took that task upon myself."

[kittyoverlord]

Queer Converts at Chabad?

It's more likely than you think.

I'm putting this together because as someone whose practice tends more "traditional" (for lack of a better term), and someone who is very obviously Queer, I have found myself relying on Chabad every now and again, and have some tips for how to interact with the organization with minimal stress. Hope this helps someone.

For those who don't know, Chabad is the "missionary"* branch of Chasidic Judaism, an ultra-Orthadox Jewish community which holds some of the most bigoted beliefs you'll find in Judaism. At the same time, Chabadniks are some of the nicest people that you'll ever meet.

My first experience with Chabad, I had just started learning about Judaism in college and had very little context about the wider Jewish community. During Sukkot I happened upon the local Chabad's sukkah in the middle of campus, and decided to pop in. They were holding a learning session about the meaning of the Lulav, and through a line of questioning I learned for the first time about Family Purity (Nidah) laws, and I piped up, "What if you're gay?" To which the Chabad Rabbi kinda stumbled over his words and said, "Well, simply put, you can't be gay." or something to that affect. I said, "Oh, ok." very calmly, realizing what I had walked into, thanked him for the Pizza, and respectfully left.

I've also had some good experiences with Chabad. There's a local Jewish festival in my town every year, and the last time I went I visited both of the Chabad booths (one for the university, and one for the general town). I can't remember which, but one Rabbi wrapped tefillin for me, while the other Rabbi only offered to the cis men who walked up after me. I found myself surprised, but glad to fulfill the mitzvah, and we had a brief conversation about Jewish practice and being true to oneself. His words were very measured, but were neutral, not antagonistic.

This is just to give you a bit of context of what you may deal with at a Chabad house.

Today, on the last(ish) day of Sukkot, I needed to go shake a Lulav and eat in a Sukkah. I couldn't build my own Sukkah this year due to my health, and had also been unable to plan ahead to register for any local events. As someone who has struggled to connect with my local Jewish community becuase it's very spread out vs. where I converted, I don't have any connections with local Jews who may have their own Sukkahs. Hence, I turned to the last possibility, the everpresent Chabad.

I googled around and found the closest Chabad house, found an email form, and sent a quick email inquiring about stopping by to use the Sukkah. I also had a back-up house closer to the liberal bubble I grew up in where Chabadniks are more likely to keep their homophobia on the DL, but I couldn't find an email for them, so I was gonna call the next morning. However, I received an email respose right away and quickly was able to set up a time for me to visit their Sukkah.

Fast forward to today. The Rabbi was very pleasant and I was able to observe the mitzvot of the lulav and dwelling in the Sukkah, so mission accomplished. I had planned on what to say regarding my queerness - "Yeah, I live around here, I just tend not to fit in to many local congregations." which went fine. What I was not anticipating was the very pointed questions to determine how Jewish I was.

I had been thinking about what I would say about this after seeing this post from @vaspider. So I hit him with the "I started practicing in college where the Jewish community was really close together." We walked around it for a bit but he was practiced and ended up eventually hitting me with the "Are your parents Jewish?" then asked me where I converted. While I have little love for Chabad, I didn't feel comfortable lying to him, so I let him know that I converted with the conservative shul where I lived at the time.

The reason he was asking me such pointed questions is because he was trying to determine how much effort it would take to work me into the Chassidic community. If I were born Jewish, he would just need to convince me to strengthen my traditional practice and be a nice heterosexual woman. As a convert in another denomination**, he would need me to convert again with a Chasidic Rabbi before I could be fully incorporated into his shul.

Luckily, I was somewhat prepared for this possibility, so I wasn't taken totally by surprise. And I didn't really feel insulted - I know he subscribes to a very specific idea of the world that is fueling his actions.

I was also very consious to not offer my hand to shake, and he didn't offer his. A lot of Orthodox people observe a practice of not touching people of the "opposite" sex, and I didn't want to extend my hand only for him to refuse it. I wasn't trying to be stealth, but have a full beard, and wasn't sure where he would land on that.

At least after all of that he still had me shake the Lulav and gave me some noodle kugel to eat in the Sukkah. That's all that I wanted.

TLDR: Chabad has the reputation it does for a reason, but if you go in with a very specific purpose and knowing what to expect, they can be a valuable resource. They want you to fulfill the mitvot, so if you can put up with a bit of awkwardness and proseltyzing, it may be worth it to you. Of course, it may not be, this is just to provide some info for other Queer Disabled Jews who find themselves in need of a Jewish space in a pinch.

Edit: I told my Rabbi (who hates Chabad) about this and basically summed it up as, "I feel like a carry a little of your spirit every time I interact with Chabad, because I think I'm fueled out of spite. Like, 'I'm going to fulfill these mitzvot, even if you don't want me to.'" and he loved that. My Rabbi is the best.

If spite is what gets you there, use what works lol.

*I'm calling them missionaries because that's the closest term I could think of, however their goal is not to make non-Jewish people Jewish (that's prohibited), their goal is to make already Jewish people more Orthodox. Not that they'd turn away someone trying to convert.

**Jewish groups that vary by practice are more commonly referred to as "movements" as at the end of the day a Jew is a Jew so even different movements will respect eachother, but of course there's always exceptions and I just didn't want to use the word "movement" over and over again, so denomination seemed like a sufficient synonym.

[justine1268]

Genuine Question About Broppy getting Children In The Future... (long rant incoming)

Am I the only one who really wouldn't like an accidental/"surprise"/ unexpected/unwanted/unplanned/unintended Broppy child in future canon and who isn't really all that overjoyed about the idea of them having one in the future in general? I want to know.

I kind of feel like the only one because I haven't seen anyone else be so genuinely confused as to why the first situation is such a widespread and beloved thing in the fandom. If you do, please feel free to let me know what you find so appealing about it, because I'm not so sure I understand in all honesty and I want to get it.

I want to say that I really don't mean to come across as rude or hateful towards anyone who created Broppy children that would fit into the current canon who were unplanned! I just want to give my own perspective on it and why I personally feel iffy about that scenario.

A lot of my opinion here is also related to my personal attachment towards the ship itself. It's the first one I've had and for more than 7 years at the time of writing this, they've consistently been part of my life during this time. It's the ship I've been invested in the most.

The reason why I'm worried about this is because in Shrek, an other DreamWorks franchise, him and his wife had unexpected children. If they decide to make an other story like this:

Branch and Poppy is one of their few romantic relationships from ongoing franchises and a very popular one at the moment, so it could be with them.

There's a multitude of reasons why I rather have them want and desire a child before it happens and also to have it be almost a last part of the franchise addition. Like, one of the last things we get out of their relationship.

If it happens accidentally, depending on the context, it could likely be because they weren't careful. I feel like this is especially out of Branch's character. We know one of his major traits is making things the safest possible, he's hectic whenever something could be trouble. I think he probably would put action to avoid getting an unwanted egg as much as he could. We know Poppy can be kind of reckless, but she listens to Branch now and I don't think she is enough to not do any prevention and roll with it. She loves to throw herself head first into danger, but when she truly thinks she'll be okay. If she knows her own safety or well-being are really at risk, she takes it more seriously.

Obviously, putting characters through tough situations is the whole point of a storyline, but when it comes to them getting a child, it is something that (I'm assuming because we don't really know much about that yet) they CAN or at least should be able to control so...I think they should.

I don't want them having a toddler to get in the way of their relationship. I want lots more of just them two. A toddler, unless they don't show up for much, would take up a lot of moments that would otherwise be only with them. I want to get a lot more moments of solely them and focusing on their relationship with each other before a baby comes in!

Their characters, if, let's say, an infant or egg is with them during most events of a movie, I believe would be reduced to having to meet their needs. They're now tied down to needing to care for them and they lose that freedom they currently have. They'll have to be like "Ah, no, can't do that, got a baby." I don't want that.

I find it still way too early in canon for them to have children and that they should really be able to enjoy their time together and with their loved ones for now. Considering all Branch has gone through and the years he spent alone, being at such a low point, I don't want him to have the added responsibility, stress and worries of a parent so soon. I want him to be able to just have good times and hang out with his friends, girlfriend and family.

Both him and Poppy are so busy already, not to mention Branch is a person who really needs alone time. Give him a baby and that's going to be a whole lot harder.

It doesn't even seem to me like it's something they want in the future for now. Branch wants to marry Poppy, we already know that, but neither of them have ever mentioned wanting to have kids someday. Poppy already works with little trolls and loves it, but she has never said she wants one herself someday. Branch doesn't seem like it's crossing his mind. All he wants is to be Poppy's significant other.

I don't want a "surprise" Broppy kid and not know what went wrong or why it was so. If it's like Shrek, they'll leave that part ambiguous and I am not going to be happy about that. If they're going down that road, I at least want to know if they were intending on being careful at all. (Obviously brought up in a way that's appropriate for PG content).

Kids being raised by parents who didn't want them to arrive isn't ideal to me. Yes, parents can have regrets on deciding to have children in a way down the line and it doesn't mean they'll do a bad job, I agree the ship would make awesome parents, but it can be a lot more difficult thanks to that.

Look. I love the idea of them having little ones someday, I really do! I just wish it to happen way later on in the timeline than now, and most of all, I seriously want them to intend and want to have a baby before they do (we'll likely know if it's accidental, since, like I said, they did that in Shrek).

Scenarios I'd appreciate in canon:

1- They get married or just engaged in whichever next installment we'll get or stay only a couple and have a child or children that they planned on having years later.

2- They adopt a child/children which they either stumble upon or meet at an orphanage. They still look like their own, their colors being a sort of mix between Branch and Poppy's possible colors and being pop trolls (honestly, my favorite idea for a Broppy child).

3- It arrives at least a couple years after their romantic relationship has started (either still a committed couple, engaged or married), it wasn't intended or expected at all, from an unknowingly failed appropriate prevention method. They would be suggested the opportunity to abort, but they choose to keep their egg/eggs that resulted and raise them.

Scenarios I don't want:

1- It's a Shrek The Third 2.0 where it's left very ambiguous what happened with any time jump or none.

2- Unwanted egg from not trying to prevent it, no time jump at all. They have to raise their child/children as the early official couple they are now.

3- A baby/babies they didn't want and weren't careful for with a truly effective method, years or not after they're made official.

4- The child wasn't really wanted from both sides. Either one of them wasn't actually happy about the idea.

If we mostly get content of them out of the newborn stage (between about 5-18 years old), we get to know them once they already have built a personality. The child also has some amount of autonomy so the parents won't have to impose as much and we can still get only them both interacting pretty often. Kind of like in How To Train Your Dragon where Nuffink and Zephyr were already kids when we met them.

I think that's the idea I'd enjoy the most. Branch and Poppy wouldn't be tied down as much(also yes I'd want to see them getting older. Something so bittersweet in seeing a long time ship of mine age together...chef's kiss with that.) I'd get attached to the child a lot more easily as a character and I'd just love to see how the couple handles their youth.

Like I said: I do see lots of positives. I love the idea of them getting a child to build sweet, deep bonds with. The idea of caring, super invested dad Branch makes me melt. Him getting through that has something that can beautiful and powerful considering his story. It adds another person for him to love. A lot of wholesomeness and emotions to be explored! It can bring more to his relationship with Poppy as well! A supportive dynamic that's always ready to advise each other and to work through when it gets harder...yeah. It's simply great! It's a good foundation for a child to grow up on.

I just have some preferences for how it happens. Thank you for reading my long opinion piece!

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #327

Today, J and I got up early. Early enough for me to snap some pretty good pictures of the morning sky:

J wanted to practice takeoffs and landings while having me in the plane, and so that is what we did! I got a couple neat pictures as we did that:

I guess there was some kind of forest fire that spread to a nearby mountain range from a state that is east of us. It's why the first picture is all weird and hazy-looking. We were gonna go to the place where new pilots practice, and J was gonna ask me to do some things, but visibility was a bit too low. We decided to do that some other time.

We decided to go to Eggcellent once we were done. Ea was there. And apparently, today is their last ever day of making and selling their famous cream cheese tarts:

Of these, my favorite is easily the yuzu one. But when they have matcha, that one is my favorite.

...I'm a little sad that they're not gonna make these anymore. But apparently, the cost of the shell that the filling goes into is getting so high that they'd have to sell each of these little tarts for $6 if they wanted to turn a profit. They think that such a price would be unreasonable. So they're going to try to make Portuguese tarts instead. I don't know what a Portuguese tart is, but if it's made by Ea and Ch, I'm sure it's gonna be delectable!

We spoke to Ea at length about the general state of things here. There were several things that he wasn't aware of, I guess. We explained that we will try to leave, and he seemed sad about it. He and J talked a little about the idea of us starting a Canadian branch of Eggcellent, haha...

...It's a nice idea, but I don't know a damn thing about running a business. I could memorize their recipes, but... I'd probably get really frustrated and overwhelmed with trying to figure out the logistics. And who knows whether people would even wanna try it.

...I looked into maybe studying game design in Canada. There's apparently an 8-month program somewhere over there. I'm gonna try to figure out how much it costs, and whether I can do it remotely. I'll need some of those skills for certain stories that I've got rolling up around in my noggin.

J and I went to a meetup for autistic people after that. There was me, J, a dude and his son who was about my age, I think, and also a lady with her son, who might have been a few years younger than me.

...The lady spoke to J and I as though she didn't understand that there's a difference between “quiet” and “stupid”. She kept responding to anything that J said with a slow, high-pitched, patronizing, “oh that's so interesting,” as though she was speaking to a small child showing off their paperclip collection, instead of to a grown man who was talking about his experiences as a musician in a ska band. I found it rather distasteful, but I wasn't sure that it was worth fighting a battle over; her son was wearing a camouflage-print John Deere hat, and a shirt that said, “I don't need no therapy; I just need to listen to more Garth Brooks!”

...You're not going to understand the cultural references behind non-military and non-hunting things being camouflage-print. You're not going to understand the relevance of John Deere and how these things fit together. And you're not going to understand Garth Brooks, or the implications of denying the efficacy of therapy, and how these two things are connected. And that's perfectly fine. I'm not going to explain it. I sure do wish that some of my brain cells weren't allocated towards knowing these things, so I'm not gonna force you to also allocate any of your brain cells for the purpose of understanding it.

So don't worry about it. It's ugly stuff anyway – stuff I grew up in and understand intuitively; I don't think I'd be able to explain it well even if I tried. It's too much contempt towards mental health concepts, too much contempt towards the idea that men also have feelings, too much worship of military culture, too much worship of rural culture, and too much worship of extremely narrow definitions of “masculinity”, all rolled up into a few very small symbols, and worn in a performative fashion. There are too many hostile defense mechanisms in play from this other person for me to be able to untangle them all.

I was glad to be home. The other man and his son seemed generally delightful, and I look forward to maybe meeting them again, but... I was glad to be home.

I'm... tired today. Though I'm not sure why. It could be a simple matter of me not keeping up with my water intake as much as I ought to lately. It could be the weight of things catching up to me. It could be that I didn't sleep well last night. I'm not really sure.

...Are you doing any better where you are...? I wonder...

It's cold outside. It's supposed to be cold outside. But I guess the chill has kinda seeped into the house, despite the heat being on. Suppose the thing to do is sit in front of the fireplace for a while until the chill decides to leave my bones.

...Wanna join me...?

...It's impossible, I know. But maybe you can pop by, kick off your boots, and warm up your toes here next to me.

...Maybe I'll try to play a video game tomorrow or something...

Hey. I love you. And even on days I'm tired, I'm still gonna write to you. So please stay safe out there. Please keep making good choices. Because I'm gonna write a letter to you tomorrow, too.

'Til soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[stickyricewithmangosauce]

Character who should have died in Naruto

I'm still pissed that there was a war but hardly anyone died that was important to the viewer. The war arc was complete shit anyway and shouldn't have happened in such a form -

So here is my super important opinion:

Hinata dies instead of Neji to protect Neji. In my opinion it was just tasteless anyway. There was a great battle between Naruto v. Neji; Free Will v. Fate; in that Naruto proved to him that it wasn't Neji's fate to die for the Main Branch, only to end up dying for the Main Branch. That the heiress of the Hyuuga clan dies to protect a Branch Family member would be a breaking of the circle.

Tsunade dying in the Pain Arc while protecting Konoha. The arc would have been the great end of the Sannin. Instead of Hinata, Tsunade protects Naruto. Tsunade's goal was to protect Naruto's dream and by protecting Naruto, she also protects the dream of Dan, Naruto and her brother. Both Jiraya and Tsunade die knowing that they did everything for their goal and left a legacy in Sakura and Naruto. Of course, it goes against the whole thing that Tsunade didn't want to die as sHokage, but honestly? It's a particularly good death when not all your dreams have come true.

After the Pain Arc, at least 1/3 of Konoha's population should have remained dead. No Rinne Rebirth, no 'it's all good, nothing happened'. I just wouldn't let Kakshi die instead.

Ibiki dies in the war. Remember that gross guy with the scars from the Chunin Exam? Yep, that guy. So first off, I'd give him more screen time simply because he's doing important work that should also be important to the story, but also because he's a pillar of Konoha that was just too constant and secure to not bring down. After all, we are at war, no one is safe.

Someone from the Suna siblings dies in the war. Be it Gaara, Kankuro or Temari. Three siblings, all on the front lines. All survive? I do not think so.

Orochimaru stays dead. I'm so pissed that the characters in Naruto can't just stay dead. It takes away the importance, the finality. Why should anyone take any death seriously when you just walk around reviving everyone?

Gai dies after opening all 8 gates. Even though the death hurts me the most, because fuck he is one of my favorite characters, but it would just make sense. Actually it means that you can't survive after opening the 8 gates. It should stay that way. He did great as it was his goal and in the end he also got his eternal rival by being the only one who could do something against Madara. Gai should have killed Madara too, but that's not possible because the MC always has to do the final blow

Choji dies in the Sasuke Revival Arc. I'm not 100% sure about that one. But it would have simply once again set a sign that the feel good anime Naruto is over and after the time skip the seriousness begins. It would also have clarified again in which world they live. The death of a 12 year old is relatively normal in this world. Choji's death would have been tragic, but it feels necessary.

Finally, someone from Team 7 should have died. I can't decide who it should have been. Kakashi wouldn't fit in my opinion. His curse has always been to survive everything and I'm not willing to give him his peace and follow Gai into the afterlife. Sakura would feel like a slap in the face, because damn, the bitch finally deserved to get something done. Naruto is a no-go, so it would probably come down to Sasuke. With him, the Uchiha clan will end, breaking the cycle of hate by dying for his team, his family. He would be the last death in the war, bringing peace as one of the few Uchiha.

These are just ideas. At the end of the day, I think Kashimoto showed complete ignorance to the horror of war by making the ending all lovey-dovey and with hardly any casualties. War leaves scars and wounds that never fade and never close. War changes everything, even if you survive and arrive home, it will not feel the same

[urlocallesbiabs-reblog-sideblog]

so, i remember seeing a red dwarf tumblr post about how if you leave your universe, it's almost impossible to go back, because there's trillions upon trillions of them, and every minute decision branches off a new one

so what if our original rimmer spent maybe a few months genuinely being ace and enjoying the hero status, then decided it's too dangerous and scary and tiresome and wanted to go home, and spent the entirety of those nine years (between s7 and s9) looking for his home universe?

and he kept saving people along the way of course, ace duty is ace duty (half of those heroic acts were accidents anyway), but his heart wasn't in it anymore; he's found many a universe where there were still people, where he could theoretically fit in and settle and live as close to a normal life as he could hope for, but he could never stay for long, he longed for *his* home, for lister, *his* lister

and wise people told him "you'll never get there. there are too many universes, and every day that you wake up and make a choice to continue looking for home, that choice creates a new one, setting you back. you're dooming yourself.", and he answered "shut up, you stupid goit, you don't get it! get smegged to hell!"

and i imagine a scene:

it's close to the end of the 9 year gap, kochanski's already gone, lister's Not Doing Well, and it's another monster-of-the-week life-or-death situation aboard the red dwarf, a particularly nasty one: all is shit, end is near, how will our heroes get out of *this one!* this is probably it! this is it! they're all gonna smegging die! and then outta nowhere ace pops out, hair billowing in the air and all, shoots some bullets that bullshitly ricochet and perform miracles, and saves the day

after that he asks to spend the night there, because even heroes need to sleep a bit, and of course he's welcome!!

lister doesn't quite know how to approach the subject, so he goes for subtle bordering on undecipherable: asks how long has it been since this ace got the flame passed on to him? what was it like? ace deflects with a charming non-answer and a fun adventure story, and lister thinks well, that's not him, then. must be a new one. that means that his rimmer passed on the flame, that he... died.

lister doesn't know how to process the idea, so he doesn't.

he tries to stick around and listen to the stories that's gotten kryten (and even cat, a little bit!) enthralled, but quickly grows bored and goes off to wander the ship and entertain himself on his own. at some point few hours later, he notices ace out and about as well, measuring doorways with tape, comparing wall paint with color swatches, counting the rooms and making notes in his little notebook; ace doesn't notice him. kinda sketchy behaviour, lister thinks, but doesn't confront him just yet. who knows, maybe the guy just went a little bit space crazy, maybe he's preparing for some impending disaster; would be rude to accuse him of nothing, wouldn't it?

as lister returns to his quarters in the evening, he sees ace briskily walking out from about the same corridor that lister is headed to, throwing him a shining, but somewhat strained smile; ace is going to the room he's claimed for the night, which is on the officer's deck, literally on the other side of the ship (makes sense to lister that he doesn't share the room with him, since this isn't really his bunkmate. smeg knows him, maybe in his universe he actually was an officer and slept alone, not like lister cares). this feels *really* sketchy, but none of lister's things seem to have been messed with on closer inspection, so he can't really prove shit. he feels kind of paranoid, but also tired, and decides he'll talk to ace in the morning.

lister sleeps badly and fitfully, and wakes up in the middle of the night. he can't fall asleep again, and decides to go and grab a bite; maybe visit krissie in the observatory, watch stars together, have some time for himself.

the lights are on in the drive room. ace is there, talking to– *interrogating* holly and kryten, swiveling on a chair back and forth to face either of them, whisper-barking rapid-fire questions; lister is Alarmed (what is this? mutiny? a hostage situation? a threat?), so naturally he hides and eavesdrops.

ace runs them through a bunch of questions that vary wildly in immediately obvious importance, seemingly nonsensical (what fuel does this ship run on? when did the leak happen? who was assigned to fix it? how many irradiated haggies were in the ship's hold at the moment of disaster? has lister ever passed an officer's exam? on what day and what ship did they find kryten? and so on and so forth), growing more and more agitated and focused, determination so passionate it's almost angry. at last, he takes a deep breath, clenches fists, and says "now, i did notice this ship's crew lacks a usual, i'd say indespensable member, namely one arnold judas rimmer. where, pray tell, did you put the bugger?"

"arnold died in 3,002,386 from a vending machine related incident, arnold," says holly.

ace's face falls, and he laughs like someone died. "ah, of course it's like that, of course. it's always like that. well, good chat, gentlemen, thank you for humoring me." he gets up, even though it obvious his legs are weak.

noticing his distress at the information, kryten hurries to clarify, "it was the second one, though! the first one died a few months before that!"

ace falls back into the chair. "what do you *mean* the second one?!"

"the one my nanobots ressurected!" kryten clarifies with mostly pride, partially guilt.

"what smegging nanobots? what on io has happened here?" ace rimmer has to forcibly hold his horses, pulling a palm down his face. "no, forget it, doesn't matter, not right now. the other one, the first one — how did *he* die?"

"well, physically it was the cadmium 2 leak in 2181" holly helpfully explains. ace rimmer makes a dying groan. "but his hologram form was destroyed by an escaped knight from an AR camelot game."

the man perks up. "was me — well no, not exactly me, but — ugh, was ace rimmer there?.."

they confirm that yes, even though he left soon after. rimmer goes slack in his chair and puts a hand over his eyes. "so this is it?" he whispers. "so many years, and... this is it. i'm here. i can't believe it."

after a minute in weird silence, he gets up and staggers out.

lister's a few paces down the corridor, having been unsettled by the exhange and made the decision to leave.

rimmer calls out to him, loudly, with intense gravitas, "lister!"

"rimmer," he responds, shocked and disbeliving, eyes open.

"lister!" he exclaims urgently, desperately.

"you're my rimmer, aren't ya," lister states a question, incredulous.

"of course i'm yours, you stupid git!" rimmer cries out and lunges at him, crushing him in a hug. "you gimboid, you imbecile, you smeg for brains smeghead," he chatters on, out of breath, cradling him.

"i've missed ya," lister sobs. rimmer doesn’t manage to respond, only hugs him even harder.

(rimmer didn’t want to throw himself at the guy until he'd made sure it's *his* guy, didn't want to make himself vulnerable only to later make a fool of himself; too many times he let himself hope and get drunk on that hope and then had his stupid heart broken by some tiny little thing being off, inviting a flood of other little things, suddenly finding himself in an embrace with a stranger wearing his best friend's face. he just couldn't bear it anymore, not again. he needed to make sure first.)

however, this headcanon poses a problem of reconciling this with late series rimmer claiming to have saved red dwarf from the corrosive virus back then. because if our rimmer only returned during the 9 year gap (closer to end of it), he couldn't have been there at the end of s8, right?

to which i propose this: the alternative ending to "only the young" is canon, and it was nanobot rimmer who saved (or rather tried to save) the day; then he was killed by a rouge vending machine. they couldn't bring him back as a hologram though, because the holo-suite was heavily damaged by the corrosion virus and they didn't have the intricate spare parts needed to fix it. so, his memory disk stayed unused, carefully kept in the hopes of someday fixing the holo-suite (never found a suitable derelict though, not with their shit luck). then our rimmer came along, learned of the entire situation, fixed the suite using details taken from wildfire, and asked holly to merge the info from this disc onto his (because for smeg's sake, it's at least 1 year out of those hellish 9 that he can remember having spent home; he can Not pass it up). the merge was successful, but majorly jittered his vibes (since he remembered two different versions of being 32, and in one of them lister was 8 years older than in the other, and he became aware that in the same year as he was 32 for the second time he also was 40 and in another universe) and gave him lifelong memory issues. he's still happy as a clam about the result, though!

that's why other's disagree when he claims having saved the day back then — he figures that if he has that guy's memories, he *is* that guy, because that's how holograms work, but others want to argue that the alive nanobot rimmer technically wasn't exactly him; you Don't wanna be there for all of the smeg-throwing that occurs during the argument.

it all could be a fake episode (or maybe a fake two-episode special), where the first half's main gag/storyline would be lister slowly growing convinced that ace is actually evil and is in the process of brewing some Sinister Plans, and the second would be about rimmer going peculiar from the merge and randomly glitching between various remembered stages of his life (thinking he's still ace and this is isn't his lister; thinking he's nanobot rimmer and wondering what happened to the crew; a throwback to an early episode or two; thinking he's a fresh hopeful enlist on red dwarf [kinda painful in a hindsight way, but also pathetic and hilarious]; thinking he's a small child [very silly and funny, mostly cute even if a bit weird because that's a grown man's body, also an epic Rimmer Trauma Lore moment as usual]; etc), to the point that lister worries they've smegging broken him and he'll never be alright, only for him to finally cope and appear sane, only to reveal last second that parts of his memory are still kinda jumbled.

i'd call that fake episode:

"H Stands For Home"

and i imagine a scene from the second half:

rimmer sees the destroyed holo-suite (god, i really can't leave you bastards alone even for a day, let alone a decade), and finds the memory disc for the other him (wait, what is this? i clearly remember taking mine with me when i left...), and gets filled in on the whole nanobots, ressurected rimmer, corrosive virus debacle (he needs to sit down.)

naturally, he decides to fix the hologram-projecting hardware (obvious turn of events) and merge the discs' data together (man, what??)

he pops out, promises to be back in a jiffie, and returns from the hangar with a bunch of circut boards, unconneted wires and the likes, immediately getting to work

"whatcha doing?" lister asks, clearly entertained but also genuinely curious

"having a smegging picnic, what does it look like?!"

"...can you fix it, though?"

"i've serviced my own ship for a decade straight, i've prevented all kinds of disasters on dozens of red dwarves, i've saved countless city-states from technological ruin, of course i'm perfectly capable of fixing this ship's holo-suite!" (this very moment, he connects something wrong and gets a shower of sparkles right to his face, which startles him and causes him to bang his head rather hard against an open latch)

when lister's done laughing, he asks "where on smeg did you even get the details? i've meant to patch it up all these years, but just... never could find 'em." (here his voice voice grows distant and sad; he had lost rimmer *twice* in one year, and it was just unfair. it just hurt.)

"good ol' baby racehorse wildfire," rimmer slaps one of the circuit boards with pride; something falls off of it. "presume it got the upgrade sometime since the original ace kicked the bucket; something needs to keep all of us holograms going."

"wait, you tore these from your ship?"

"what, was i supposed to pull them out of my arse?" rimmer is getting annoyed by the pointless conversation

"it's just... how will ya fly it, then?"

"it's still perfectly spaceworthy, i'll let you know!" rimmer preens. "sure, no more having my arse fall asleep after one week straight in the cockpit, hauling vaccine to pluto or some such (would not recommend), but i can still give it a good run as long as my lightbee's got charge! not all that different from our other off-the-ship missions — now what are you, stupid?"

"you won't be able to travel for long," lister clarifies apprehensively. "you won't be able to have your... space smeg adventure. you won't be ace."

rimmer looks up at him like he's crazy. "of course i won't be ace." he gets up, walks weirdly close to lister. "i'm not leaving. what — what did you think this was? that i'd spent all these years looking for you, for this dimension, only to have some tea and smeg right back off?!"

"...i don't know what i thought," lister admits, half-laughing and weirdly upset and relieved.

rimmer gripes him by the shoulders very, very hard. "i'm not leaving. never."

also, he wears his hair in the classic long and free ace style until the proper Reunion, then as soon as he fixes the holo-suite and hookes his projection to red dwarf he asks holly to chop it all off (he wanted to do that immediately after confirming that this is his home universe, but he was still connected to wildfire's holo-hardware and the ship's ai wouldn't let him bc ouughhh houghhh ace but your hair is So Beautiful, i simply Can Not); between the two points, he wore a tight neat ponytail to keep all his golden locks out of his smegging face, and he looked Hot doing it

***

and another thought, that isn't directly connected to this imaginary two-episode special, but still has to do with rimmer, lister, and the 9 years gap:

(though i'm not sure if it's canon to my personal headcanonverse [...i'm not even sure i've got a personal headcanonverse here. i love the idea of them getting together in early series when he's still soft-light, or later when he's hard-light and they can touch, or after the reunion, or post-tpl; too many possibilities!] because i feel like it gets rimmer off the hook of his internalized homophobia way too easy, but anyway, just imagine.)

it's rimmer's ace years, and it's not only beautiful young birds throwing themselves at him for his sexy heroics, but beautiful young studs as well; he switches many a dimension, and what happens in a reality stays in that reality, right?; he meets many a lister, some of them openly queer, some of them in a relationship (past or ongoing) with their rimmer; he sleeps the night away with some of them. long story short, 9 years of both excessive human attention and crushing loneliness are ample time to confront one's sexuality. he's still got his hangups though, so in his mind "i am gay" and "lister is my best ever friend whom i miss terribly" don't quite cross together, not immediately.

either way, he finally gets back, they have their happy reunion, and then rimmer learns while he was off adventuring, lister had a wife and a child and loved her deeply and then she died; obviously, lister still needs some space to process all that. rimmer will talk to him about his soul-search some other time (no, he doesn't feel like he'd been replaced, he's not jealous, jeez!). lister just needs some time to move on, yea? and then it'll all be back to how it used to be, just the four of them.

and then s9 happens, and lister is obsessed with getting kochanski back, and rimmer feels as insecure as in s1 but ten times worse — there's the woman who'd been by lister's side for the last decade, there's his wife, there's the love of his life, and there's, well, just some guy. there's rimmer.

he longs desperately to be the most important person in lister's life, but he just isn't, and that's driving him mad. that's what (partially, together with all his lifetime-accumulated trauma) fuels his tpl insistence that nobody aboard red dwarf (read: lister) likes him: he knows lister doesn't love him back, and that is killing him.

[risingscorchingsuns]

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Unconventional

its late and i needed to write something. here’s a small warmup unrefined thingy, just to put some words out somewhere, so i don’t go bonkers. its a first draft with almost zero editing, it is very very messy and not very good, but i just needed to make something. i hope you enjoy regardless 💜🪲

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It was a cold spring morning, and as usual, Hikaru Eritora was in a tree.

Whenever he needed to think, or he couldn’t sleep, or he just felt like he needed to go somewhere, Hikaru would find the nearest tree, scale it, and nestle himself among the branches. It was a way for him to feel grounded, for him to feel real.

He’s been having a hard time with that lately.

Ever since Hikaru had started training with the Flame Hashira, Kyojuro Rengoku, his life had gotten so much more complicated. They were master and apprentice, teacher and student. But they were also friends, closer all the time. And lately, Hikaru hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the flame-haired swordsman. More than usual… something about Kyojuro had been making Hikaru’s heart race, something that just got him all jumpy. He can’t get the man out of his head, with his molten golden eyes, his broad, strong frame, his warm, infectious laugh…

Frankly, these feelings were making Hikaru really fucking nervous.

He wasn’t totally sure what to make of these feelings. He’d never had a crush before, but Hikaru had read about them, in stories and books over the years. He was no master, but he was pretty sure that whatever that meant, he was probably developing a crush on the Flame Hashira. Which, obviously, was unacceptable. There were so many reasons why it wouldn’t work, and a million more why it shouldn’t. Why he shouldn’t even try, why it would only complicate everything.

Besides, a small part of Hikaru whispers. It’s not like he’d ever possibly return the sentiment. Not for someone like you.

Hikaru felt a small, familiar pang in his chest at the thought, rearranging himself in the branches of the oak. It was probably… well, it was probably true.

Ever since Hikaru had left the woods and joined the Corps, he’d found it increasingly obvious that he was an outsider. He’d never interacted with people his age before, and he hadn’t interacted with much of anyone at all during his time in the Sumitomo Forest. He was… different. He stuck out, and the other Slayers noticed.

It didn’t help that Hikaru was a boy, and very much didn’t sound or look like one. He wanted so badly for the other male Slayers to include him, to give him that sense of brotherhood, of belonging. He craved it, wanted somewhere to belong, something to make him feel the way he knew he was inside.

But no matter what he did, Hikaru just didn’t seem to fit. He never quite belonged in any group, never quite found his own place. No matter how much Hikaru tried, he was simply… unconventional. Too unconventional for those around him. He didn’t fit… maybe he was never meant to.

He’d made his peace with his solitude, for the most part. He knew he didn’t have a choice, anyway. Pretending to be something he wasn’t just wasn’t in the cards for Hikaru. It wasn’t what Hiroki taught him. He was going to live authentically, he was going to be himself. Not doing so simply wasn’t an option. This feeling of emptiness, this ache in his chest… it was simply the price Hikaru had to pay to be himself. Just the cost of authenticity.

But the isolation, and the sheer solitude of being the only one like Hikaru… it made the poor boy ache.

And now, the matter of Kyojuro.

Hikaru was okay with being alone. He always had been, and he had mostly accepted that he always would be. But for some damn reason, when he thought about Kyojuro looking at him the same way the other Slayers did when they thought he couldn’t see… the thought made him want to rip the bark off of the tree he was sitting in with his bare hands. It made him feel hollow.

No, he decided, it’s not a crush. I do not have a crush on the Flame Hashira. I admire him as a warrior, and respect him as a friend. He’s a brilliant man, who deserves a brilliant partner. Someone put together, someone strong, someone… conventional.

Not someone like me. It’s safer this way, if I say it’s not a crush. He could never want someone like me. There’s just… no way. I’m simply… too much. It’s better like this, better to nip this in the bud.

It’s not a crush. It’s just admiration. It’s not a crush.

It’s safer not to get my hopes up.

Maybe if he just kept saying it, maybe it’d be true.

[jessicanjpa]

stalker

Edward is in Chicago to "inherit" from himself. To pass the time at night, he decides to visit his old house. An excerpt from this 1970 one-shot.

I had hunted for a few days in the northern suburbs of Chicago during the four dark years of my rebellion. By that time, I had already arrived at my plan to feed only on the worst criminals; it seemed only fitting that I should spend a few months protecting the city I had once called home.

But in the end, I couldn't bear to stay or to venture any closer to where I had lived as a human. Regardless of whether the spirits of my human parents had any means of seeing what I was doing, it just felt too wrong to bring that kind of darkness that close to their graves... to the people I had once known and cared about. There was also the very real possibility of cornering a victim and discovering that he was someone I had known. And since Carlisle had practiced medicine in and around Chicago once already this century, we had never lived near this area in the years since.

So this was really my first time back. I strolled aimlessly through the night, trying to match the buildings I passed with the blurry streetscapes from my human memory. I did eventually find an old hotel that seemed to be in the right place, and a couple of small parks.

There was a certain street I wanted, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember where it was. I finally surrendered and ducked into a telephone booth. I flipped through the frayed telephone book in annoyance, looking for a decent street map. I finally found one and ripped it out, memorizing my route as I walked.

Once I got past the audience of cops and prostitutes and adolescent children out too late for their own good, I relaxed and slowed my pace. I still couldn't put my finger on any particular building, but this was starting to feel more and more familiar. After taking one last look at the map, I crumpled it into my pocket and turned down a street where the front yards were bigger. The mental barrage quieted a little, settling into that unique, rhythmic whisper that comes from a neighborhood where nearly everyone is asleep.

I knew this street. The houses nearly all looked wrong, but the roll of the hill felt right. I had ridden my bicycle here, laughing and calling out to... someone. I squinted at the pavement, feeling the tingle of a memory that was trying to wake up. I had fallen here one day. No, that wasn't right... I remembered getting off my bicycle, feeling a heavy weight on my chest... my mother carrying me home, rubbing my back and telling me to breathe more slowly. An asthma attack, presumably.

Happier memories came to me half-formed as I walked on. More bicycle rides... a nameless boy with freckles and black hair. A pair of girls, teasing me from across the street. One house seemed particularly meaningful, despite being the wrong color, though I couldn't figure out why. Perhaps the freckled boy had lived here? There was a brick firehouse that looked about right. And when I finally turned onto my own street, the bright scent of roses washed over me at just the right place.

Home.

I was fortunate that the real estate company had let the trees and brush get overgrown in the backyard. I found a sturdy oak whose branches offered a good view of the house. My eyes traced over the lines of the house first, finding comfort in the angle of the roof and the peaceful shush of the breeze slicing through the screens around the side porch. There was a formica table perched inside and crumbs beneath it, evidence of the family who had rented the house for the past three years.

The interior was dark, but moonlight was more than enough for me. I could see into the parlor where I had spent hundreds of hours practicing the piano. I leaned out from the tree, trying to see whether there was a piano in there, but I didn't have a full view of the room. I should have come earlier, when the family was up and moving around, so I could have gotten a fuller view via their minds.

I briefly considered letting myself in. The windows were all unlocked in welcome, after all; I wouldn't need to break anything. It was my house. But... that was a line I probably shouldn't cross. I crawled up into the higher branches, rewarded by a tight knot in my throat as I looked into my old bedroom for the first time in fifty-two years. Two twin beds filled the space, complete with the lumpy, blanketed forms of two dozing boys. My first guess was twins, but after a few moments I thought the one on the right might be a little older, based on the quality of his dreams. I left them in peace, more interested in the room itself than its occupants.

More memories began to return to me, coming in such quick succession that I dared not breath for fear of interrupting the flow. I remembered a scene in which I was the one lying in the bed, crumpled in blankets. Mother was feeling my forehead, humming a tune that eluded me, but still placed an unexpected warmth deep in my chest. I could hear the clink of a spoon and smell the aroma of... chicken soup, I thought it was.

Then I was seated at a desk just there, over by the farthest wall, tinkering with a model biplane... or was it a model train? I remembered coughing, curling up with a book and wishing I could go play outside. I remembered sitting at the desk, now taller in my chair, writing with careful penmanship in a journal. Next I was playing on the floor, meticulously lining up row upon row of tin soldiers.

I remembered posters on the walls, various incarnations of Uncle Sam or heroic-looking US soldiers telling me to come save the world. That my country needed me. I remembered sitting at my desk with a forgotten pencil lingering over a page of mathematics, gripping the desk's edge with the other hand and refusing to look up as my mother pleaded with me to go to college instead. Then I was a child again, huddled up in a fort made of bedsheets, surrounded by books and toys.

One memory led to another, skipping back and forth through my brief span of human years and filling new, aching holes inside my heart. I kept my eyes locked on the quiet room until I came up empty, and even then I continued to stare, shifting my gaze to look again at the sleeping boys.

Was this what I would have had? What would it have been like to have children of my own? Would I have stayed in this house?

I really had no excuse to stay. There wasn't the faintest hint of vampire scent on the air, apart from my own, and the unlocked windows and cars told me everything I needed to know about the crime rate. I had learned all I was going to learn, if I was going to keep my vow to stay outside. But all I had waiting for me was a depressing hotel room with an even more depressing book. And... there was something keeping me here, something even more intangible than the memories that teased the corners of my mind, flitting away whenever I tried to grasp them.

I didn't think it was nostalgia, not really; for all I knew, half those new memories were invented. And while the sight of my human home did stir something deep within me, that was all it was: just a sight. A picture. There was hardly anything about the structure in front of me that was really familiar... that was really mine anymore.

That was the problem, I supposed. It was the lost potential—this new version of the life I could have lived. More than the house itself, I couldn't take my eyes away from the home I had been so eager to leave behind.

That was excuse enough, I decided—that it might give me some small shred of purpose to stay and guard a family I cared nothing about, in a house that was all but a stranger to me. I imagined the sleeping boys to be my own sons, and the dozing parents across the hall to be myself and the wife I loved more with each passing year. And so I let myself stay, just for tonight, keeping vigil over the life I had lost so very long ago.

[charlotte-family-apologist]

I was reading your OCs post and I sympathize with Huai a lot. Kung Lao is one of my favorite characters so I'm glad to see some lore about his family, as terrible as they are to this poor gal.

I don't know if this aspect of your AU completely follows the canon lore so it might be irrelevant but how did Huai live through the death of her cousin and her family moving to the U.S? What about her son leaving the family to become a thief or when she found out about Jin's orientation? Surely she had to find herself standing up for her son despite the pressure of her family's hate and judgement.

Thank you so much for the ask! 😭

In my au the Kung family doesn't move to America because of their status in China. If they are as powerful as canon suggests I don't understand why they would uproot their life. Also I've structured them like a clan with land that multiple families live on, with Lao's being the main family/clan heads (I figured they wouldn't name some random Kung after their ancestor).

Lao's death hit her hard as he was essentially her rock, even if he didn't know the true extent of how she was treated. She found herself just going through the motions for a couple years afterward. The only times she was really present was when she was raising Jin. I don't think she ever fully processed her grief and just tried to "move on" on her own.

After Jin was caught with his boyfriend at school there were several family meetings on what to do with him. The majority without Jin present. His head had already been shaved to mark his dishonor. So most was about deciding his future and whether or not he is still fit as a member of the main branch.

The consensus was to have him married off to a woman and if he resisted he'd be kicked out and disowned with nothing but the clothes on his back. Huai tried to fight it, not wanting him to become as miserable as she is. She pulled her status as clan heiress, something she hadn't done in over a decade, but was overruled. That night after everyone was asleep she helped Jin pack a bag and gave him the money from her childhood escape fund, she told him the elders were disowning him (purposefully leaving out the marriage part) and he had to get as many things as he can and leave before they noticed. Telling him that he'd be happier out there than he ever would be here.

I imagine Jin feels incredibly conflicted about it. He found himself resenting Huai despite his better judgment. He questions why she didn't fight for him more, why she was such a doormat his entire childhood, and, while grateful for keeping him afloat the first couple weeks while he adjusted to his new life, why she gave him such little money, not knowing it wasn't from the family's vault. An itching feeling keeps telling him there's more to the story but he can't seem piece it together.

After joining the Shaolin, he's redirected most of his anger toward the clan itself, accepting Huai tried to do her best. But if he saw her again he doesn't think he'll be able to meet her eyes.

[lightlycareless]

if my fic wasn't trying to stick to canon, toji would've been the one in naoaki's shoes. WOULD HE HAD DONE ALL OF THOSE THINGS? nope, here is what I think would've gone down tho: (mentions of abuse, sa. proceed with caution)

he would've approached you, as it happened originally. toji has been keeping an eye on you for a while now, who hasn't? you're like a celebrity at the estate.

however, he's not as... nice as naoaki. there isn't any compassionate approaches or whatever, toji kind of pities you and not in the good sense. you don't really approach him either, he's scary, and you think he's actually meaner by all the things he tells you so you try to avoid him whenever possible.

yet, the two still hang with one another. i mean, he gets to eat some of the nice stuff your staff brings you. he's not going to let that pass!! and he's also part of the few people that are around you and treat you like a human being.

something will happen between the two that will evoke some sense of empathy from him; idk what, maybe he sees you being berated, maybe he sees naoya abuse you. (if you want to get real angsty, he hears naoya r word you.)

but it's safe to say that it's something that has you completely desolated and that pushes him to attempt to comfort you; you're unwittingly moved by his gesture and you begin to open up to him.

the two get along more and more, to the point where you get to see the human side of him, as well as all the horrors that plagued the zen'in—how they branched out to those of their own blood, regardless of what status they considered them.

the sweetest moment between the two would have to be you touching the scar on his lip, and him leaning into your touch. (yeah, we still have the dubious romance haha HOWEVER...)

the turning point in this story would have to be another heavy setting that pushes you in a very delicate, desperate moment. it would've taken lots of development I guess, or maybe not, for this to happen but essentially Naoya is much more around the estate, he's just as cruel as you expected and one day he decides to hurt you even more, fueled by his jealousy.

this moment leads you straight into toji for comfort, and him, a bit... too invested in you and tired of the zen'in clan, decides to thrown caution to the wind and do the one thing he's been planning to do for a while now:

leave the estate.

he manages to convince you quite easily, and so that night, before things get heated even more, you leave with toji.

I like to play with the idea that he actually convinces you to leave the jujutsu community all together, but I don't think that would be possible, considering how close you are with your family.

Though that might happen if you continue to feel betrayed by them in some sense, abandoned.

I'd like to think this is Naoya's turning point :) the moment he realizes he messed up BIG TIME, ensuing his redemption.

Years would pass tho, more likely, and perhaps... something more happens between you and toji.

Ngl this is a story that would mainly be toji and y/n ending together, I don't think I can fit Naoya in that equation... but who knows?

and there you have it, an au for first it hurts!! Quite tragic, ngl. I feel like a lot would need to happen for Naoya and Y/N to end up together, but it's more likely that it doesn't so :) let's just enjoy the main storyline where they be the endgame.

maybe I can write something tho... or maybe not. I have other toji ideas, however. I look forward to those :) and a naoaki au. hehehe.

omg this made me remember a comment where someone asked me to write a side story where naoaki and yn end up together. i wonder if they still want it?