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runawrites-blog · 22 days ago

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Not Part Of The Plan | Ch. 2 / 2 (Boba Fett x Reader)

Summary: The mission to rescue Han got uncovered and now you have to try and escape while also dealing with your complicated feelings for Boba. During the planned execution of Luke and Han, things go horribly wrong. (Female Reader) Word Count: 4,987 Warnings: Jabba's Palace Typical Violence, Arguments, Breaking-Up and Making-Up, Presumed Character Death (Boba), Angst, Protective Boba, No Y/N, Pet Names (Mesh'la, Cyar'ika) A/N: Unlike on AO3, I will post it in two parts instead of several chapters here. All but the last part takes place during Return Of The Jedi and the last part takes place Post Mandalorian Season 2 -- the Time Skip is marked to avoid confusion. Also while the Reader is Han's sister, her appearance is not described and they could be seen as half-siblings, so her ethnicity, height, weight and such are up to you to imagine! Have fun! Previous Chapter: https://runawrites-blog.tumblr.com/post/765792752807051264/not-part-of-the-plan-ch-12-boba-fett-x Cross-Posted On AO3 (in 6 Chapters): https://archiveofourown.org/works/36209275/chapters/90261490

---

Your escape not going according to plan was really no surprise with all the people that were sneaking around the palace, trying to bring Jabba any information and gain his favour. And the fact that after Leia had been discovered, you were found to be an accomplice didn’t really surprise you either. Now Han was sitting in a cell, you and Leia were chained up by Jabba’s throne and there was no sight of help.

But the worst had been that Jabba had sent you out as a pleasure slave to Boba that night and things did not go well. Not that you had expected a good outcome after Boba had found out that you had actually just been undercover to scout out the place – it wasn’t a far fetch for him to think that you had been using him all along. So when you were forced inside his rooms, not as his lover anymore but as someone he undoubtedly hated now, and his angry gaze fell onto you, the door shutting behind you felt like a cell’s door rattling shut.

“Why would he send you out of all people? He knows of our past and of what you’ve done!” Boba hissed angrily, glaring down at you in understandable anger. “I would have prefered anyone else over you right now.”

Although that statement hurt you knew that you were not in the position to get upset at his words. But that didn’t stop the tears that rose in your eyes. Boba just scoffed at you and shook his head before coming closer.

“Don’t you have anything to say in your defence?”

“He’s my brother.” You tried to reason, not daring to look up at him as you kept your eyes trained at the floor, fighting off the shivers that tried to make their way up your body at the cold stone underneath your bare feet. “I couldn’t stand by while he was being displayed in the palace, frozen in carbonite.”

“And you thought it necessary to use me for your plan?”

“I didn’t--”

“Don’t try to come up with an excuse now.” Boba snapped at you. “What use was I for you? Help me understand!”

You swallowed at his anger and shook your head. “No, I didn’t use you for anything! I was sent to scout out the place and find Han, but I didn’t need-- I didn’t need you for that. What I-- My feelings for you are real!”

“Why would I believe you?”

You tried your best not to let your tears fall at this situation but the tears felt so close to falling. You knew he wasn't going to hurt you and you were aware that he was rightfully upset with you but the fact that there was most likely no hope of ever gaining his love back hurt you terribly. He had told you that he had cared for you, had shown you that he really had feelings for you, had protected you and you had betrayed his trust. Boba hated you and it hurt you so terribly much.

“You-- I can’t give you a reason to-- to believe me.” You said, swallowing against the lump in your throat but a few tears still rolled down your cheeks. “But I’m telling the truth! I came here to-- to free my brother but there was a delay in our mission, so-- so I had to stay longer and while I was waiting for them I fell in love with you.”

Boba was watching you in silence and when you looked up you saw the frown on his face. Though now it was less angry and more confused than anything. But he wasn’t speaking, just watching the tears start to cascade down your cheeks.

“I know you distrust me and I know you must hate me now but-- but I just-- I really do care for you!” You pleaded quietly, bringing up your hands to grasp at your upper arms and shield yourself from the cold. “I know you’d rather have anyone but me here but-- but Jabba sent me anyway. If you’ll let me, I’ll just wait out the night until I-- until someone comes to get me in the morning.”

“You’re cold.”

Before you even had the time to confirm his suspicion, he’d turned and grabbed a blanket from his bed. In a smooth motion, he threw it around your shoulders and you quickly caught it before it fell. Confusion painted your face as more tears gathered in your eyes, though this time they were brought on by how touched you were that he still seemed to care for your wellbeing.

“No one will come to get you until the morning.” He stated calmly before he began to move around and throw a few of the bed’s pillows onto the sofa by the window. “You can stay.”

“Thank you.”

“Just take the sofa and try to warm yourself up. I may not trust you anymore and I’d be a fool to do so again, but that doesn’t mean my feelings were just snuffed out.” As if to undermine his point he began to extinguish the lights in the room. “Tomorrow, Jabba will decide what will happen to your brother.”

“Do you-- He sent that woman who betrayed him to the Great Pit of Carkoon a week or two ago. Do you think he will do the same to my brother?”

“Possibly.” Boba shrugged and went over to sit on his bed, finally looking back at you. “There’s nothing you can do about it.”

“I didn’t even get to talk to him again.” You whispered sadly. “I haven’t spoken to him in years and-- and I just-- Leia freed him and then he was immediately taken away.”

“That’s his own fault for not paying Jabba back.” Boba said before lying down on the bed and eyeing you with an emotion he couldn’t quite place. “I suggest you rest now. Someone will pick you up in the morning.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

“Just be quiet and rest.” He huffed before shutting off the last lamp and plunging the room into darkness. “You’ve got me to care for you. I still do.”

“I care for you, as well, Boba.”

“That makes no difference and you know it.”

“I do.”

---

“He is my brother!”

Boba gave a sharp tug to the chain Jabba had placed around your neck. Once more, the Hutt had sent you out to serve Boba who was on the upper deck of the sail barge. From up on top of the barge, you had the perfect view of the pit below the barge that Luke and Han would soon be thrown into. But at the tug you turned back to Boba behind you, watching him shake his head.

“There is nothing you can do. Just be glad you’re not thrown in after him.”

Panic rose in you as you grabbed onto the railing at the side of the sail barge and looked down at the Sarlacc with abject horror. After hearing Threepio translate what would happen to your brother and your friend down there, you were horrified. Thousands of years of torture for both Han and Luke, and there was nothing to be done now. You grabbed the chain and pulled at it once, gaining Boba’s attention.

“Can I not try to talk to him?”

“You tried that before.” Boba said sternly. “You tried to talk to him, tried to bribe him and nothing made a difference. If you try reasoning with him again, he might just throw you into the pit after all.”

“I don’t care.” You begged, grabbing onto the chain tightly. “Let me try.”

“I will not be responsible for you being executed!”

“I couldn’t even say goodbye to the only family I have.”

“That happens.”

Then Luke was moved into position and your grip on the railing tightened, breath catching in your throat. Han had been there for your for as long as you could remember and ever since you’d gotten to meet Luke, the two of you had become close friends, as well. The thought of them inside the Sarlacc’s guts was entirely too horrible to imagine. You couldn’t even imagine how Leia must be doing inside the sail barge. At the very least you weren’t with Jabba at the moment. But still, your fingers began to shake as you felt your throat tighten with anxiety.

“Look away.”

Boba’s voice ripped you from your thoughts and you saw that he stepped closer to the railing out of the corner of your eye, now also looking over the edge. When you eyed him for a second, the confusion on your face must have been evident because he spoke up again.

“I will tell you when it’s over if you wish to look away.”

But you couldn’t and as Luke jumped off the ledge you reflexively grabbed Boba’s arm next to you, needing someone to stabilise you. Then all hell broke loose and Luke pretty dramatically jumped up onto the cargo skiff again, catching the lightsaber Artoo had thrown him – you hadn’t even noticed the astromech coming onto the upper deck.

And just like that Luke was fighting them, hitting men left and right as a commotion broke loose. At your side, you saw Boba move, readying himself to fly down and stop the escape. But Lando noticed his movements and with the blaster, he had obtained during the fight, he managed to fire at Boba without the bounty hunter taking notice.

In a fraction of a second, you had decided that although you wanted everyone to escape, you also couldn’t let Boba get hurt and you quickly tackled him to the floor, both of you watching as the blaster’s beam shot over your bodies.

Once you noticed that you were lying on top of Boba, you quickly got back to your feet and looked over the railing to check if everyone was still alive. As your eyes found the skiff again, you saw that Luke had noticed you pushing the bounty hunter out of harm’s way and he threw you an understandably confused look, questioning why you would save the man. But then his attention was drawn back to another attacker and he turned away again, kicking him off the skiff.

“You saved me.” Boba’s voice ripped you out of your thoughts and when you turned he was coming closer, head tilted slightly to the side. “Why would you save me?”

“I still care about you.”

Boba stalled for a second before pulling you closer and tilting your chin up with his thumb. “I have a job to do. I will come back for you, Mesh’la.”

And with that he was off down to the skiff, leaving you behind on the sailing barge. You looked around, unsure of what to do when you saw a nearby guard getting ready to shoot at Lando who was now hanging off the side of the skiff, nearly falling into the pit himself. Quickly, you grabbed your chain and swung it at his ankle, effectively knocking him to the floor with the force of the metal. He dropped his blaster and you swooped in to get it. When he grabbed for a weapon at his belt you shot the man and then took a step back, watching two more guards come up the ladder.

While you managed to shoot one of them, the other managed to get a grip on you and pushed you toward the railing of the barge, attempting to throw you overboard and into the Sarlacc pit below. You had unfortunately dropped the blaster and he was physically stronger than you, completely putting his weight into pushing you over, so panic soon began to rise in you.

The chains rattling at your feet sparked an idea in you. Quickly you grabbed for the chain, careful not to let him notice, and wrapped it around the railing before taking a deep breath and letting yourself fall over the edge. The guard fell with you but unlike you, he had nothing to hold onto and tumbled right down into the pit. You held onto the chain tightly as the guards tried to reach you from the windows below.

And on top of that, another guard was up on the platform now, reaching for his blaster and aiming at you. But before he could shoot, a blaster beam hit him and he fell over the railing, just missing you as he tumbled into the pit below.

Swearing quietly you looked down, expecting Chewbacca or Luke to have fired at the man, but to your surprise, you found that it had been Boba, blaster still in hand and shoulders sagging in relief as he saw you had still hung on.

Quickly, you climbed back onto the barge and turned back to see what was going on when you realised Han had hit Boba, making his jet pack malfunction and sending him flying toward the sail barge. He knocked into the side of it and you watched in absolute horror as the man you loved fell into the Sarlacc pit. Tears gathered in your eyes and you felt your breath run cold. Your first instinct was to try and help but logically you knew there was nothing you could do to help. The tears threatened to fall and you had to pull yourself together to continue fighting.

But there was no time for grief at the moment because Lando was almost pulled into the pit by one of the Sarlacc’s tendrils, only saved by Han who was hanging on for dear life himself, Luke was crawling up the barge and an explosion shook the whole structure beneath your feet. You ran to the ladder to see what was going on just as Leia came climbing up, grabbing your hand to pull herself up.

“We need to get off this sail barge.” She urged, running to the railing. “Luke, hurry up! This whole thing is about to blow up!”

You ran after her, quickly extending a hand to help Luke up. “Why are you coming up here? I thought we wanted off this barge!”

“Han is bringing the skiff over.” He explained, readying his lightsaber to fight another guard. “Stand back!”

Everything after that passed in what felt like a fraction of a second. At Luke’s comment, Leia directed the canon at the barge. Han stirred the skiff over, Leia made a jump for it and he just managed to catch her and get her to safety. Then you felt Luke wrap an arm around you before he grabbed a rope and gave a kick to the canon, making it fire at the barge. You hung onto him tightly, pleading with him not to let you drop into the pit below. But fortunately, you soon found yourself safely on the skiff, just as the barge blew up and Lando stirred you all to safety.

“Han!” You exclaimed as soon as the shock had passed and hurried to embrace him. “Are you okay? Can you see again?”

“Yeah, I can see. I mean I managed to shoot the Sarlacc.” He joked and hugged you for a few seconds. “Are you injured? I saw you hanging off the barge. Did you get hurt?”

“No.” You shook your head and let go, looking him up and down. “I can’t believe you’re back! I’m glad you’re feeling better. That night Leia got you out and they brought you to your cell, you looked like hell.”

“Thanks.” Han said in amusement before shaking his head. “It takes a toll on you to be frozen in carbonite. But I’m fine now.”

“I’m glad.”

“I hope Lando watched out for you while I was gone. I heard Jabba sent you to Boba Fett of all people. He didn’t touch you, did he?”

You stilled for a second, feeling Leia’s eyes on you and seeing Lando raise an eyebrow at you from next to Han. Even Luke looked at you suspiciously. But you just shook your head, giving Han a comforting smile and ignoring your grief as you lied to him.

“No, he didn’t touch me.”

---Time-Skip---

“We have a guest.”

You looked up at Leia and shushed her, not wanting to disturb Luke and Grogu. But she shook her head and came closer, pulling you away by the arm. You’d been busy watching Luke train Grogu for the past few hours, fascinated by the child’s powers. Once Leia had you far enough away, she lowered her voice.

“He’s here to pick up Grogu so he can spend some time with his father.” Leia explained. ��You should go and tell our guest that Luke might take a bit longer.”

“Why me? Can’t you do it?”

“It’s someone you know.”

“I know a lot of people.” You mumbled in confusion, not really understanding why the person talking to whoever Din had sent needed to be you. “You have to be a bit more specific than that.”

“It’s Boba Fett.”

Your mouth fell open at that and you had to manually reach up to close it before you shook your head in disbelief. “No, he-- he died. I saw him fall into that-- into the Sarlacc pit with my own eyes!”

“It’s either him or someone that stole his armour.” Leia shrugged. “But Din said that Boba Fett would come to pick Grogu up because he himself couldn’t make it. So either way, it would be great if you could come and verify that it’s really him.”

“Why would you want me to verify that it’s Boba who came to pick Grogu up and not some impostor?”

“None of us ever saw him without the helmet, so you need to verify it.”

You shook your head quickly, not wanting to give away your past with Boba to her, even though you were sure she’d had some ideas on it. “What makes you think I saw him without it?”

Leia rolled her eyes lightly at that and shook her head. “I know you’ve slept with him while you were at Jabba’s palace. I saw the way he kept you close to his side, the way he protected you. And Luke told me that you saved him from Lando’s shot, so I know you actually cared about him. If anyone has seen him without the helmet, it’s you.”

“Fine.”

And with that, Leia was off and you close behind. Your heart was rising into your throat with every step you took. It couldn’t be Boba – you had seen him die. You had mourned him all alone, only occasionally getting a sympathetic glance from Luke or Lando. Yet still, you hoped that against the odds the man in his armour was really him. So when you arrived at the doors to the landing dock, you stopped dead in your tracks when through the windows to the room you saw Boba’s armour again, no longer looking as beat up as before but painted over and polished up.

“I’m getting Luke and Grogu. You confirm if it’s really him.”

You nodded absentmindedly as Leia left and then you opened the door. They swished open and the man turned to you, hands reaching for his blaster before quickly dropping when he saw that it was you. Slowly, you approached and tried to resist the urge to run into his arms. You needed to confirm if it was him first so you knew Grogu would be safe.

“You’ve come to pick up the child.” You said quietly, looking at his visor in anticipation. “Take off the helmet, so I can confirm who you are.”

Without another word, he reached to his head and unfastened the helmet, slowly taking it off and your breath stopped. It was Boba. He looked scarred, his face burned by the Sarlacc’s acid but it was Boba. It was unmistakenly him – his eyes, his face, his lips. And the smile he gave at your awe was also unmistakenly his.

“Mesh’la, did you not believe it was me?”

“How?” You whispered, tears gathering in your eyes. “How are you alive?”

“Told you I would come back or you.”

And with that, you launched yourself into his arms, your own wrapping around his neck as you clung to him. The tears fell from your eyes freely as he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, his face falling into your neck where he took a deep, steadying breath before he spoke again.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to come back for you.”

“I can’t believe that it’s you.” You sobbed out quietly before pulling back and taking his face into your hands. “I thought I’d lost you forever.”

“I made you a promise, Cyar’ika.” He said softly, his hands dropping to your hips to hold you close. “And I keep what I promise.”

“I am so sorry that I lied to you. I-- I don’t even know how you can come here and give me this much love and-- when I lied to you and--”

“Stop that.” Boba’s hands pulled you closer and he shook his head. “I believe you. I had a lot of time to think it through and I trust you that you didn’t use me, alright? Would you give me another chance after I treated you so harshly?”

“What?” You asked in surprise, eyes going wild. “I lied to you. You had every right to be angry. I should be the one asking you��that!”

“I would give you another chance. Will you give me one?”

You nodded quickly before pulling his face down and kissing him deeply, eyes closing as soon as he started kissing back. His arms wrapped around you now, pulling you to his body as he held you. It took all your strength not to burst into tears again as you deepened the kiss and he held you even closer, securely keeping you in his arms. It was only when you heard something being dropped behind you that you pulled apart.

“You have to be kriffing kidding me right now!”

You turned in shock to face Han who had just dropped a box of tools and was now staring at you two in disgust and shock. Before you could explain he was marching over and grabbing Boba by the collar that stuck out from his armour, just for the bounty hunter to grab Han’s wrist and pull it away from his body. But Han’s free hand grabbed the one around his wrist as he glared at Boba.

“You are kissing my sister?”

“If I were you, I would think twice about attacking the man that collected the bounty that was on your head.” Boba hissed, eyes narrowing at Han. “You don’t decide if your sister and I kiss. She decides whether or not she kisses me!”

“Listen, I have no clue how you managed to escape the Sarlacc Pit but if you put your hands on my sister again, I will personally send you back in there!”

To your dismay, a smirk appeared on Boba’s face and you knew he was just going to keep this argument going. “She decides if she kisses me or does other things with me.”

“That was entirely unnecessary, Boba!”

“Other things?” Han snapped, ignoring your complaint as he glared at Boba. “Did you sleep with me kriffing sister, Fett?”

“What about it?”

“Can you two stop it?” You hissed and tried to pull them apart, pulling Han back by his collar while pushing against Boba’s chest to make him step back. “Han, lay off him! And Boba, stop kriffing riling him up even more!”

The two of them remained quiet for a few seconds but after another attempt of yours to pull them apart, they finally separated. Han let go of Boba before turning to you, his shock still evident in his face as he stared at you with wide eyes.

“When did that happen? When did you decide to sleep with Boba Fett?”

“It happened while I was infiltrating the palace and the plan got delayed, forcing me to stay there longer than expected.” You confessed, feeling as though the truth was the only way forward. “We talked a lot and then it just sort of happened.”

“It just happened? Things like that don’t just happen!”

“That’s what I told her!”

You turned to find Lando coming into the docking bay, carrying another toolbox and grinning widely. He obviously wasn’t going to side with you and Chewbacca who was coming inside behind Lando was probably also going to side with Han. But to your surprise, Han didn’t agree with Lando. On the contrary, his face fell even more and he glared at his friend, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You knew?”

“Oh, kriff.” Lando hissed, now realising his mistake. “I promised her not to tell you!”

“He found out by accident.” You explained, eyes flicking back and forth between Han and Lando. “I sort of pleaded with him not to tell you. I knew you’d react like this!”

“I hope that by ‘like this’ you mean in a completely rational way.” Han huffed, crossing his arms as he kept his eyes trained on you. “He’s not a good person!”

Boba looked back at Han at his exclamation. “And you trying to police your sister’s life is something a good person would do? She can make her own decisions!”

“Boba’s right.” You stated, nodding at Han. “I can decide who--”

“You agreeing with him is not surprising at all.” Han huffed and turned to Lando. “I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me!”

Lando just shrugged at that. “I figured there was no reason to after he fell into the Great Pit of Carkoon. I thought she’d never see him again anyway.”

You eyed Lando, nodding at his words as the memory of that day and the horror you’d felt resurfaced. “So did I. I never told you after the fact because-- well, because I thought he was dead.”

Upon hearing about your grief, Boba came closer and put a hand on your back in an attempt to comfort you. “I came back, didn’t I?”

“Yes.” You nodded, giving him a small smile. “I’m glad you did.”

Han shook his head once more, pointing at Boba’s hand. “Get your hands off her!”

Boba glared back at him, bringing his other hand up to put it onto your shoulder now, effectively riling Han up even more. “That’s not your decision to make.”

“I can’t believe you!”

“All of you, cut it out!”

You felt yourself relax at Leia’s voice and looked up to find her coming into the loading dock, Luke in tow who was holding Grogu in his arms. If anyone would be able to tell Han to back down, it was her. She eyed the situation before coming closer, noting Han’s accusing finger still pointed at Boba and sighed quietly.

“So it really is Boba Fett?”

You nodded at her. “Yes, it really is him and not an impostor.”

“Good.” Leia nodded, looking at Han. “Then what seems to be the problem?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Han asked in exasperation, clearly annoyed that Leia wasn’t freaking out over this. “He slept with my sister and he’s being so-- so kriffing smug about it.”

Leia nodded at that, looking back at you. “Do you mind him touching you? Is he doing anything against your will?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t see the problem.”

“What?” Han shook his head and looked at his girlfriend. “And why are you not more surprised? Did you-- You knew!”

“I figured it out pretty quickly.” Leia nodded and sighed. “Listen, things have changed, alright? And Din sent him here, so he must be somewhat trustworthy. Besides that, your sister is an adult, Han.”

Han sighed in defeat and looked at you. “I just wish you would choose someone nice.”

“I am nice.” Boba stated from behind you, raising an eyebrow at Han and to your surprise, your brother gave a dry laugh at that.

“You stole my line.”

“See? She’s fine. And I’m pretty sure she can stand her ground.” Leia then looked at Boba again, pointing a finger at him. “If you mess up, though, I will personally come for you, am I making myself clear?”

“More than clear.”

Han sighed quietly and shook his head in dismay. “I can’t believe both Leia and Lando knew, and neither of them told me.”

That’s when Luke gave an awkward wave behind Leia. “I knew, as well.”

“How come everyone knew, but me? Chewie, did you know?” A roar from the Wookie confirmed Han’s suspicions and he groaned in exasperation. “I can’t believe it!”

“Are you good now?” You asked, reaching up to put your hand over Boba’s. “I promise you that he treats me well. I appreciate your worry but he’d never hurt me. Trust me.”

“I trust you.”

You smiled at that, leaning back into Boba who brought an arm around your waist then. He looked down at you, not paying any mind to your brother or friends. “You could come to deliver the child to Din with me.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“She says that as if she was ever any good with sticking to plans.” Leia joked.

Luke shook his head and approached, Grogu held close to him, before he gave Leia a smirk. “To be fair, some of our plans did fail tremendously.”

Han just gave a small laugh at that, watching as you gently took Grogu from Luke and turned to Boba, quietly discussing something with Boba. Before entering Slave I, you gave Han a small wave and then left to buckle up the child. But before Boba could follow you, Han called out to him once more, making him look up in question.

“Treat her right, you Buckethead.”

#textpost #writing #fanfiction #my writing #star wars #star wars return of the jedi #return of the jedi #rotj #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars reader insert #boba fett #boba fett x reader #boba fett imagine #star wars original trilogy

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runawrites-blog · 22 days ago

Text

Not Part Of The Plan | Ch. 1 / 2 (Boba Fett x Reader)

Summary: You're Han Solo's sister and after he's been brought to Jabba, frozen in carbonite, you infiltrate the palace to scout it out and locate him. Sleeping with the galaxy's most famous bounty hunter Boba Fett was not part of the plan but with the rescue taking longer than expected the two of you get closer and closer. (Female Reader) Word Count: 4,866 Warnings: SMUT MDNI, Jabba's Palace Typical Violence, Angst, Protective Boba, No Y/N, Pet Names (Mesh'la, Cyar'ika) A/N: Unlike on AO3, I will post it in two parts instead of several chapters here. All but the last part takes place during Return Of The Jedi. The last part takes place Post Mandalorian Season 2. Also while the Reader is Han's sister, her appearance is not described and they could be seen as half-siblings, so her ethnicity, height, weight and such are up to you to imagine! Have fun! Next Chapter: https://runawrites-blog.tumblr.com/post/765792759680548864/not-part-of-the-plan-ch-22-boba-fett-x Cross-Posted On AO3 (in 6 Chapters): https://archiveofourown.org/works/36209275/chapters/90261490

---

This was definitely not part of the plan.

And if your brother Han didn’t smack you upside the head for this – which would be completely understandable if you were being honest – you were sure that Leia would do so for him. You had been sent to infiltrate Jabba’s palace, find possible escape routes, scout out the place and locate your brother, so that eventually everyone could come to save him. But things had turned out a little differently than planned.

After doing your job of locating Han and reporting back to Leia and Luke, you’d been told that the rescue could take a bit longer and that you had to wait it out. So you’d been stuck at Jabba’s palace for weeks and though you’d eventually managed to get a reputation amongst the people there, you still didn’t like the place.

But that wasn’t the only thing that was going a little off-plan.

If you could call sleeping with Boba Fett, who’d hunted down your brother and brought him to the palace, something as mundane as ‘going a little off plan’. There really was little strategic need for this but after a few weeks of being at the palace and talking to Boba, the two of you had gotten closer. The tension between you two had been rising constantly until it had all come to an acme on a stormy night.

The two of you had talked as you mingled with the courtiers, once again letting the tension rise between you as you inched closer, fingers lingering on each other’s bodies for longer until finally, he made the next step – much to your relief because it still felt strange to you to be this close to the man that had hunted your brother across the galaxy.

And that was precisely why you now found yourself being led to Boba’s chambers, his hand on the small of your back as he navigated you through the corridors and the masses of people at the palace. A few times, a seedy man or woman tried to convince you to go with them, but they quickly backed off. Though you were unsure if it was because you threatened them or because they saw who the armoured man behind you was – it was probably the latter but you still hoped you were at least a bit intimidating.

When you finally arrived at his chambers, he unlocked the door and led you inside before closing it behind him. And before you could react you found yourself pressed against the wall. But you hadn’t built up your reputation of being strong and no one to mess with for nothing. So you put your hands to his armour-clad chest, pushing him backwards and catching him slightly off guard. The second it took him to react was quickly used by you to back him against the bed in the room.

“Careful.” He warned and grabbed onto your hips again like he had while leading you to the room. “Don’t overdo it.”

You just huffed at his quiet warning before pushing him onto the bed and into a sitting position before climbing into his lap. “I’ve been careful for weeks. I want you now.”

A chuckle made its way through his modulator before he reached up to take his helmet off. The soft hiss of it opening made you hold your breath as you waited to see him without his helmet on for the first time. He lifted it off his head and set it down on the bed, revealing his soft curls and truly beautiful face. You couldn’t help but stare, taking in his pretty eyes, soft lips and the small scars littering his face. His eyes blinked back at you, soft and warm, a hint of amusement in them as he spoke up again.

“Like what you see?”

That was all it took for you to break out of your trance and kiss him, leaning down to press your lips to his as you braced yourself on his shoulders. Boba seemed surprised for a second but his hands quickly found your hips as he kissed back, eyes closing just as you couldn’t keep your own open anymore.

Kissing turned into making out, into needy moans, into heightened arousal, into clothes being strewn across the floor and his armour being undone, until both of you were left in nothing but your undergarments. You slowly pulled back from yet another kiss to look at him, smiling softly.

“Kriff, why did I wait so long to do this?” You whispered before leaning down and pressing soft kisses along his neck, relishing in the hitch of his breath when you gently bit down on the juncture where his throat met his chest. “Look at you. You look so handsome. I just-- Would it be strange to say that I’m almost mesmerised?”

“A little.” He said in amusement, hands coming up to cup the side of your neck and bring your face to his. “But I’ll let you go on.”

“Generous.” You snorted and looked down at him. “But honestly, you are so pretty. It’s a shame you hide underneath that helmet.”

“You talk so much.” Boba whispered with a low chuckle, bringing your face even closer to his, but you could see the fondness in his eyes. “And I thought you talked much under normal circumstances.”

At that, you brought your hand up to mimic a key turning next to your mouth before leaning back in to kiss him again, moaning as his hand came down to grab your thigh and spread your legs a little wider. Then he pulled your underwear aside and finally plunged two of his fingers into your wet heat, scissoring them just a little and making you gasp at the sensation. He began to move them and you were about to complain about the lack of stimulation until his thumb came up to rub slow circles around your clit. And you turned into a moaning mess in his lap.

“Like that?”

“Yes.” You moaned out, spreading your legs a little more and closing your eyes as he began to tease a third finger at your entrance. “But you-- you know what I’d like more?”

“Tell me, Mesh’la.”

You flushed a little, having picked up a few words from your time spent with him and knowing exactly what he’d just called you, before reaching down your hand and grabbing his hard length through his underwear. His surprised gasp turned moan, made you smirk ever so slightly as you kneaded him for a few seconds before pulling down the garment and letting his length spring free.

“I can-- I can offer that.” He nodded, hand gripping tightly at your shoulder now. “Before we start, though, do you have some sort of contraceptive implant?”

“I do.” You nodded, using your free hand to tap your left hip where an implant had been inserted some time ago. “Don’t you?”

“I do, but you can never be too sure.” He explained nonchalantly before pulling his fingers out and shushing your protests. “Stop whining, Mesh’la. I’ll fill you right back up. Don’t worry.”

And with that, he grabbed your hips and hoisted you up, making you gasp in both shock and excitement before situating you on your back. Then he crawled over you and grabbed your leg, hooking it over his hip.

“Ready?”

“Yes!”

If he laughed at your impatient exclamation, you didn’t even hear it because your focus was entirely drawn to him entering you. You gasped at the intrusion, taking a deep breath to relax and adjust, eyes closing for a second. When you back looked up, Boba had stilled and was seemingly waiting for your permission to move. Feeling warmth spread in your chest at that, you quickly nodded at him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he began to thrust into you, setting up a slow rhythm.

But quickly, you two decided that he was far too slow and after a little urging, he began to speed up his thrusts, one hand supporting his weight and the other grabbing your hip to keep you in place. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, pulling him down a little further to have him closer to you.

“Boba, please, I--”

“Please what, Mesh’la?” He asked lowly, a deep moan cutting into the last word as you clenched around him. “Tell-- Tell me what you need.”

“Closer.” You whispered, pulling at his shoulders. “Need you closer.”

Boba just nodded at that and leaned down to press another kiss to your lips as he kept up his movements. And soon enough you felt yourself nearing orgasm as he pumped into you, dragging against your clit with every thrust. You could tell he was getting close, as well, his thrust becoming erratic as he moaned your name into your neck.

And when he once more kissed you, picking up the speed and gripping your hip tightly you felt your climax wash over you without any real warning. Your back arched off the bed as you moaned his name, fingers digging into his shoulders hard enough to make him hiss. He held out for another thrust or two but your body contracting around him sent him over the edge soon after and he spilt deep inside you.

It took both of you a few moments to come down from your height, your fingers trembling as you held onto his neck and his face dropped against your shoulder, breathing deeply. Eventually, you broke the silence, still a little out of breath and Boba’s head perked up at the sound of your voice.

“We should have done this sooner.”

“A lot sooner.”

He agreed softly and slowly pulled out of you before letting himself fall onto the bed next to you. You watched his chest rise and fall next to you, trying to ignore the urge you felt to turn over and wrap yourself around him. After sleeping with Boba and already straying from the plan, the last thing you wanted was to actually develop feelings for him.

But you suspected that it was already too late for that anyway. After all, his teasing didn’t annoy you anymore but made you smile, and when you saw him you felt nothing but happiness. Boba noticed you staring then and turned his head to eye you, raising his brow at you in question, probably wondering why you were staring at him. Perhaps allowing yourself to indulge in your feelings while you were still stuck at the palace wouldn’t be the worst idea. Your brother and his girlfriend would probably not be happy about that but if anything it was their fault, as well, for letting you stay longer than needed.

Gathering your courage, you slowly turned and reached out to wrap an arm around his stomach. You totally expected him to pull away but to your surprise, he moved a little closer before grabbing onto your arm and pulling you flush against his body. You were pretty sure you had really already fallen for him because it made you strangely happy to feel him pulling you closer.

“Can I stay for a while?”

“If you want to.” He said, shrugging his shoulders and turning his head to look down at you. When you leaned your face against his shoulder, pressing your lips to it, he spoke up again, in a softer voice this time. “As long as you need to.”

“Thank you.”

---

Getting close to Boba might have been straying from the plan but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Not when over the next week or two, you got to feel his hands over you again and again. Not when you got to spend night after night in his chambers. Not when he protected you or kept a hand firmly planted on your back when someone made attempts at getting with you. Not when you were maybe really in love with him.

But then you noticed that the rescue was drawing closer and while you were glad to free your brother, you were also sad that you’d have to leave Boba’s side. And besides that, you were irritated that you hadn’t been told about the plan progressing but rather had to find out yourself when you saw Lando Calrissian walking around, dressed as a palace guard.

Of course, you had quickly confronted him, excusing yourself from the conversation you’d been having with a courtier to wander around and eventually, pretend to run into him. He seemed hesitant to talk to you but when he noticed no one in the immediate vicinity he relented.

“Why has no one bothered to tell me that the plan was moving forward?” You hissed at him, careful not to let anyone around you hear your words. “How come I find out by accident when I recognised you?”

“We couldn’t get a hold of you without being suspicious.” Lando explained in a whisper. “But the plan is moving forward; you’re right about that. It might still take a few more days, though.”

“I can’t believe no one told me anything.”

Lando was about to answer but then his mouth snapped back shut. You were about to ask what was going on when you saw that he was looking past your head. But before you could turn you felt a hand on your hip and when you looked down, trying to see who it was and if you should hit them for touching you, you realised it was Boba’s gloved hand.

It was then and there that you realised that perhaps it wouldn’t be Han or Leia that would go off at you for sleeping with Boba, but Lando instead. Because right now he looked pretty confused as Boba’s arm snuck further around your waist and he was staring down Lando. You were frozen in shock but you knew you couldn’t blow Lando’s cover so you had to think of an excuse as to why he was talking to you.

“Is that guard bothering you?”

Knowing that there was no good reason for the guard to come talking to you, you nodded your head a little. “But I was just about to tell him that I am not interested.”

“I should drag him out of here myself for even thinking he can try and make moves on you.” Boba said before turning back to you and looking at you through the visor or his helmet. “But I trust that you can handle yourself.”

“I can.” You nodded. “And I was just about to leave.”

You dared to look back at Lando to find him staring at you in abject shock, having now realised that you and Boba were involved with each other. Luckily, Boba shrugged his shock off to fear and gave a dry laugh at his expression.

“Just stay away from her and you will be fine.” He said, calming down now. “I am not opposed to taking things into my own hands and getting you away from her. Got that?”

Lando just nodded, giving you one last shocked glance before he left. He took his space at the nearby door again and you knew he could still hear you talking to Boba. But Boba didn’t seem to mind as he kept a hand on your hip and you close by.

“There was no need to intimidate him like that.”

“You got jealous when one of the dancers tried to get with me.” Boba said and turned back to you. “Do I not get to be possessive?”

“That’s fair.” You had to admit, looking back at him. Against your better judgement, you blurted out the first question that came to mind in that situation. “But what does that make us? Are we exclusive if we’re that possessive over one another?”

“We can be if you want to.” Boba said quietly. “But you know that I cannot stay here forever. If that doesn’t bother you, we can be exclusive.”

“That doesn’t bother me at all. I just like being with you when I can.” You smiled softly. “And you don’t need to worry. I have no interest in anyone but you.”

“Good.”

---

After that, things got a bit harder around the palace. You worried that Lando would tell everyone back with the Rebellion that you were involved with Boba. And you also worried that Boba would find out who Lando was. So you decided that you would have to tell Lando to keep quiet about this because while you obviously didn’t want the plan to fail you also really didn’t want to deal with your friends finding out how close you were to Boba.

And the opportunity came a few nights later when you woke up in the middle of the night to some random yelling in the hallways. You were about to chalk it up to the usual fighting that took place in the palace and cuddle back into the warmth of Boba’s body when you saw that he wasn’t in the bed with you anymore. He’d been protective over you lately after your run-in with Lando and it wasn’t often that he would take his eyes off you so this might be the only opportunity in a while.

Quickly, you got dressed and made your way into the hallway, knowing from what you’d gathered during the day that Lando was guarding one of the back entrances to the throne room. Within the next few minutes, you were by the entrance and called for Lando who was luckily on his own. He waved you over and once you were there, he immediately started questioning you quietly.

“What were you thinking?” Lango whisper-yelled at you. “You slept with Boba Fett? Are you out of your mind?”

“It just happened.” You whispered back.

“It just happened?” Lando hissed quietly, eyeing you. “What? Did he trip and his dick accidentally ended up in you? Did you slip and he caught you with it? Things like this don’t just happen.”

You groaned quietly at his questions. “As if you haven’t slept with at least one person here since you’ve arrived.”

“That’s none of your business.”

“So you have!”

“Sleeping with a courtier is not the same as sleeping with Boba Fett!”

“I was just--” You stopped for a few seconds, taking caution to quiet back down. “Things took so long and we ended up talking. I don’t know why but I kind of--”

“Don’t tell me you actually like him.”

“I don’t.”

You defended yourself but your answer came a little too quick to be not suspicious and you noticed it, too. But Lando reacted before you could backpaddle, face completely in shock.

“You’re in love with him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“But I heard you two. You two are ‘exclusive’ as you called it.” Lando raised an eyebrow at you. “You are in love with him.”

“That doesn’t matter anyway.” You huffed, crossing your arms. “That’s not why I’m here. And I don't want you telling anyone about my involvement with Boba – especially not Han.”

“Yeah, I think your overprotective brother wouldn’t really like the idea of you and Boba Fett of all people together, would he now?”

“That’s why you have to keep quiet about it.”

“I can keep my mouth shut but you have to be careful. I get it, he’s handsome and he can protect you but you don’t know what his endgame is.” Lando said sternly. “I promised Han to watch out for you while he couldn’t.”

“I don’t need anyone looking out for me.”

“I’m just trying to--”

“Trying to do what?”

Both you and Lando turned at the familiar voice from behind you to face Boba. He was standing in the hallway, one hand at his blaster as he eyed the two of you. Quickly you began to wreck your brain for an explanation but Lando luckily came to your rescue.

“She got lost and I wanted to help her find her way back to her room but she said she didn’t need my help.”

You couldn’t see Boba’s face but you knew he was scowling as he came over to pull you back and away from Lando a little. “If she says she doesn’t need help, then you leave her alone.”

“Of course, I understand.”

Then Boba looked back at you. “What are you doing here? Why are you roaming the palace at night? You know how dangerous things can get around here.”

“I woke up and you were gone.” You said, inching a bit closer to him and feigning innocence. “I was trying to find out where you were but I got lost.”

“There was an altercation. I went to see what was happening.” He said, hand finding its way to your hip again. “Let me take you back to my room.”

“Thank you.”

He gave Lando one more look over before he led you down the hallways and back to his room. Once there, he closed the doors and took off his helmet, giving you a stern look, though you could see the worry in his eyes.

“Don’t do that again. There was a big altercation. Someone was shot and when I got back you were gone.”

“Don’t tell me you were worried about me.”

But your teasing didn’t seem appreciated because Boba frowned at you. “I care about you if that’s what you want to hear. Now, will you promise me not to sneak off without telling again?”

“I promise.” You said and got a bit closer, taking one of his hands into yours. “Can we get back to bed? I missed you.”

“I wasn’t gone for that long.” A small smile made its way to his lips and he nodded, reaching behind himself to unclasp his armour. “But we can do that, Mesh’la.”

“And just so you know, I care about you, too.”

---

“I don’t understand why you like me so much.”

Boba’s voice ripped you from your thoughts and it took you a few seconds to focus on him. He’d been stroking your hair, almost lulling you to sleep before he spoke up, so it took you a bit to fully wake up again.

“You don’t?”

Your voice came out hoarse and a little tired, making Boba laugh a little before he nodded. “There are other men at court. Why did you seek me out?”

“You were the one that first talked to me.” You said quietly, putting one of your arms under your head as you faced Boba. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?”

Boba sighed in what you could only describe as exasperation before once more bringing his hand up to stroke your hair. “But you still decided to sleep with me. Why did you?”

“I like you.” You said quietly, giving him a soft smile. “You’re so strong, yet you treat me with so much care. I have never been with a man that treated me with such care and I guess I like the fact that I can have actual conversations with you, that you treat me as an equal.”

“I treat you with care because I care about you.” He reasoned, his hand straying to stroke your face softly. “It might be a foolish thought, but I think we are simply in tune with one another.”

“You really think so?” You reached up to take his hand from your face, interlacing your fingers with his. “I thought so, too. We might have bickered and argued a lot, but I think we just fit well together.”

“But I did tell you that I cannot stay here with you forever.” Boba said softly, almost apologetically before he squeezed your hand. “Right now, I’m at Jabba’s palace but in the future, I’ll be hunting down bounties and I’ll be gone for weeks at a time.”

“I know that.” You said quietly. “But I don’t mind. As long as you maybe send me a sign of life every now and again so I can be at peace, I’ll be fine.”

“I think I should manage that.” Boba joked quietly. “We should get back to the main audience room. Jabba will notice that we’ve been gone for a while now.”

“You said he wouldn’t notice.”

“I said he wouldn’t notice if we snuck away for some quick fun.” Boba gave you a sly smirk before leaning in to capture your lips in a quick kiss. “But he’ll notice if I spend the whole day in my chambers with you.”

“Then let’s get going.”

With that, you rose from the bed and began to put your clothes back on, watching as Boba did the same before he started to strap his armour into place. Once you were done, you simply watched, absentmindedly securing your blaster at your hip while you eyed him. Boba seemed to notice because he turned around with a sly smirk, helmet lodged under his arm.

“Like what you see, Mesh’la?”

“Maybe that’s another reason why I was drawn to you.” You chuckled, coming closer to press one last kiss to his lips before he put on the helmet. “I like men in amour.”

“I can tell.”

---

The arrival of Artoo and Threepio as well as Luke’s message to Jabba clued you into the fact that the plan was soon coming to a conclusion and that Leia would soon arrive, as well. Thanks to Lando, you knew of her plan to infiltrate the palace and demand a bounty for Chewbacca. But the shooting and commotion from the stairs as she made her entrance still surprised you. And what surprised you, even more, was the fact that as soon as the commotion broke loose, you found Boba’s arm shielding you as he partially got in front of you, in between the nearby staircase and your body.

But as Leia walked in, the commotion died down and Boba slowly withdrew his arm. You couldn’t tell what look Leia was giving you because of the helmet she wore so you were unsure if she had seen Boba’s protective action. If she had noticed anything, she never let it show as she walked toward the throne.

The two of them bargained and you listened intently, watching as she demanded more credits from Jabba, intimidating him, and as he tried to get out of paying her more than he had offered. You could see Boba watching in interest. Although he wore his helmet, from the tilt of his head and his attentive stance you could tell that he was invested in the bargaining – you had spent so much time in his presence, you realised at that moment. Your thoughts were interrupted when Leia pulled something out of her pocket and Threepio gave a shocked exclamation.

“Because he’s holding a thermal detonator!”

Everyone in the room disparaged, taking cover or drawing their weapons. Boba next to you drew his blaster, as well, pointing it at Leia as he roughly shoved you behind his body. You didn’t even care if your friends found out about your involvement with Boba at that moment because the detonator had not been part of the plan and you were now genuinely worried.

But Jabba just began to laugh, defusing the situation and Boba lowered the blaster as Threepio translated the new offer and Leia nodded, putting the detonator away. And after that agreement, Chewbacca was brought to the cells and the music began anew. Everyone gathered in the middle of the room again, enjoying the celebration, and you drew a breath of relief.

“I really thought he was going to use that.”

Boba turned back to you, giving you a once over. “That was a good way of bargaining. He impressed Jabba.”

You nodded, watching Leia as she moved across the room and began to talk to some of the courtiers. “I could tell. Thank you, by the way.”

“What are you thanking me for?”

“Trying to protect me.” You said with a gentle smile. “Thank you for that.”

“I told you before; I care about you.” Boba said with a shake of his head. “Why would I not protect those I care for?”

You just smiled at that and let him lead you back toward the throne, his strong hand on the small of your back. But as you passed Leia, you could tell that she was watching you now, her head following you and you avoided her gaze as Boba’s hand wandered to your hip, pulling you closer. Not only did Lando know; but Leia knew, too. You just hoped that none of them would tell Han.

And you hoped that your departure from Boba wouldn’t pain you too much. But after the last few days, you weren’t so sure about that. Not only had sleeping with him been unplanned – but you had also fallen in love with him. You felt his hand tighten at your hip as he led you closer to the throne, keeping you by his side and you couldn’t help but smile at how much you enjoyed being with him.

You had definitely fallen for him more than originally planned.

#textpost #writing #fanfiction #my writing #star wars #star wars reader insert #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars return of the jedi #return of the jedi #rotj #star wars original trilogy #boba fett #boba fett x reader #boba fett imagine #boba fett smut

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runawrites-blog · 23 days ago

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Pros of re-reading your own fic

a good time;

Has exactly the tropes you like and the characterization you want to read;

Gratification: yes you did finish a thing and yes you did do good;

just a very fun time all around.

Cons of re-reading your own fic:

Is that another TYpO

#textpost #writing

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runawrites-blog · 23 days ago

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x ex-wife!Reader

SUMMARY — James and Reader have not been on great terms since their divorce, but an emerging situation with their son forces them to put aside their differences and work together and hope that past feelings don't resurface

WARNINGS — hospitalization, chronic illness, swearing, complicated feelings (idk y'all they're divorced what more can I say)

NOTE — Okay so I have so many things to say about this fic, but if I say them all this post will be way too long it already is like this came up as 33 pages in my docs but this is a day late birthday present for @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey who also provided the James pic I hope you had such a fun day and a great year of simping ahead!

Pronounciation — Mahlet = Ma-h-let | Hennock = Hey-knock

Ever since you had become a mother, birthday parties were the bane of your existence. The sugar overload, the loud noises, the cleanup afterwards, all amounted to your own personal hell. Yet, you would move hell or high water for your son to have the most enjoyable party every single year.

Today was no different, eight years later you were still breaking your back to ensure every small detail was perfect, from the pin the spikes on the stegosaurus to the cake you’d spent at least a month painstakingly training to make.

A friend of yours, another parent from the school your son Julian went to, came over in the kitchen to give you a hand with some of the snacks.

“How are you managing here?” she asked and you took a deep breath.

“Managing is the operative word,” you chuckled. “Kids having fun out there?”

“Yeah, loads, you’ve outdone yourself again,” she assured you. “Will James be making an appearance?”

“I stopped asking myself that question after we got divorced,” you said while fixing the plate of vegetables and dip. “He’s supposed to, he promised Julian, but we all know how that ends.”

There seemed to be a bit of commotion out in the backyard and you tried to assess what was happening from the window, but your suspicions that something was off was confirmed when Julian’s best friend, Hennock, came rushing inside.

“Mrs. Wilson, something’s going on with Julian,” he said and you frowned while your friend followed you outside to see the kids circling around Julian who seemed to be gripping onto his chest.

“Jay, what’s going on? Are you okay?” you bent down to be closer to his eye-level, trying to understand what was happening to your son.

“Can’t…” he pointed to his mouth. “Can’t…breathe,” he wheezed.

Your eyes went wide, but before you could grab him and run for the car he began to cough and you hoped and prayed there was just something caught in his throat that would make its way out, but with the coughing came spatters of red all over your white shirt.

“Mahi,” you looked over at your friend quickly while picking Julian up. You didn’t have to say a word, she already knew what she needed to do.

Living close to the hospital, it was worth it to drive yourself, that way you didn’t have to wait for an ambulance to get to you. You had made the mental calculations many times before, just in case there was an emergency and now it was finally coming in handy.

When you got Julian in the car, you checked in on his breathing, it was still laboured, but at least at this point he was getting in the air, even if he was coughing up blood.

You turned on the car and began driving while calling your ex-husband with one hand. The line rang until you reached voicemail so you called again, expecting at least this time for him to pick up, only to hear the tone once more.

“Dammit James!” you threw your phone down on the seat next to you knowing you’d deal with him later, now you needed to focus on getting to the hospital without killing either of you.

Barely paying attention to how your car was parked, you grabbed Julian out of the back seat and ran into the ER with him.

“Ma’am, what’s going on?” a nurse came and asked you as you put Julian down.

“My son, he-he’s having trouble breathing and he’s coughing up blood I-I-I don’t know what’s happening.”

Before you could say a word they had whisked Julian away and another nurse came to ask you some questions about his medical history and any information that may be important to the doctors treating him.

“Where’s my son?” you asked, “I want to see my son.”

“Ma’am I’m sorry, but the doctors are working on getting his airway cleared, you can’t be with him right now.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line and bit back your tongue. There were a million and one things you wanted to say to the nurse, but none of them would help your situation. On the other hand, finding your ex might.

So instead of finding the waiting room you went over to the elevator and made your way up to the oncology department, briskly walking through the halls until you reached his office. At this point, you didn’t bother knocking, opening the door to see him sitting down over a file and talking with House.

“Hey Greg,” you said in a fake cheery voice. “Mind giving us the room?”

“Oh, this is the wife with the kid, did you forget to pay child support?” House asked James.

“Get out, Greg,” you said warningly and he listened, instead opting to steal the rest of James’ sandwich and slipping past you, while wishing James good luck and letting you slam the door shut behind you.

“What’s going on?” James asked, clearly confused by your demeanour and appearance. “If this is about the party I didn’t forget I was-wait is that blood,” he stood up from his chair and came over to you.

“What’s going on is you didn’t pick up your fucking phone,” you said angrily.

“Hey,” James looked at you sternly. “What is going on?” he repeated his question, this time more pointedly.

You could feel your lips begin to tremble and your vision became blurred while you shook your head.

“Who’s blood is on your shirt?”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, “It’s Julian’s.”

“Julian-I-what happened?” his demeanour changed from frustrated with your attitude towards him to worrying for his son.

“I-I don’t know he said he couldn’t breathe and then he started coughing up blood and I just picked him up and drove him here a-and now they won’t let me see him.”

“You drove him?” he asked incredulously. “You didn’t think to maybe call an ambulance?”

“That’s what you’re hung up on? That I decided to drive because it was faster than getting him an ambulance?”

“That’s not what I-,”

“Yes it is,” you stepped back. “I wouldn’t have needed an ambulance if you were there.”

James sighed and chose to ignore your comment,

“Where is he?” he asked.

“Emergency room,” you muttered. “They won’t let me see him, you need to talk to them, say something, anything.”

James nodded his head, at least you could agree on that. He walked with you out of the office and to the elevator so you could go to the ER together and figure out what the hell was happening to your son.

When you got down there and James began speaking to the nurses, they informed him that Julian had been moved to the ICU and his respiration was being closely monitored while they ran a few tests to see what had caused the arrest.

You had to fight to hold yourself upright when they pulled back the curtain and you could see Julian hooked up to all the machines and with a ventilator tube stuck down his throat. You covered your mouth with your hand and shook your head again. This couldn’t be happening, now you were supposed to be cutting into cake and opening presents, not sitting in the ICU.

You stepped inside with James and he closed the curtain to give you a bit of privacy and decided to look over his chart and see if they had given any relevant information there. Seeing none, he turned his attention over to you, seeing your eyes filled with tears, unable to tear your gaze away from your son.

James walked over to you and cautiously put a hand on your shoulder, eventually encouraging you to turn around so he could pull you into his arms. You allowed your tears to soak his white coat, gripping onto him so tightly because there was nowhere else to hold.

You could hear his breathing change, accompanied by the small sniffles and you knew he was doing just as bad as you were right now, wiping the tears from his own eyes as he finally allowed himself to see his son as he was, sick, helpless, vulnerable, and only moments ago, without his dad’s help when he needed him most.

Your moment was interrupted when you heard the curtain being pulled back and you saw two doctors standing there. You pulled away from James and wiped whatever remaining tears were in your eyes so you could properly address them.

It seemed as though one of the doctors recognized James and when he looked down at the file and saw the name he made the connection internally.

“Can we talk to you guys out in the waiting room for a moment?” he asked.

“I don’t want to leave my son,” you shook your head.

“Ma’am, this is the ICU and the visiting hours are very strictly adhered to, I think your husband maybe got lucky and pulled a few strings so you could see your son, but we need to leave now.”

“He’s not my husband,” you muttered and reluctantly followed them out of the makeshift room and towards the waiting area.

“Did you find out what was wrong?” James asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I looked at his chart. You took him for an emergency CT and bloodwork.”

“We also ran a few other tests,” the doctor began explaining. “From the medical history your, um, ex wife gave I had a suspicion of something so we ran a sweat test to check for elevated chloride levels and it just came back positive.”

“Chloride levels?” you looked up at James. “What does that mean?”

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “It means Julian has cystic fibrosis.”

“I-I’ve heard of that, is it curable?” you asked.

“I’ll leave you guys with Dr. Liu, he deals with the pediatric cystic fibrosis cases and will be able to answer your questions better than I can,” he wished you a good day and left you alone with the other doctor.

“Cystic fibrosis is manageable-,”

“So you can’t cure it,” you reiterated.

The doctor shook his head, “Unfortunately there is no cure for CF yet, but many people have been able to live longer and happy lives with the medical technology now available.”

James was silent, taking in all the information that was being presented.

“How did he get it? Is it contagious or-or was it just always there?” you asked.

“It’s a genetic condition, so he’s always had it, the symptoms have just gotten to the point where they’re now visible,” the doctor explained.

“I-It’s genetic so one of us is a carrier?” you pointed to you and James.

“We both are,” James said. “Both parents have to be carriers to pass it down to their child, right?”

Dr. Liu nodded and you pressed your lips together.

“C-Can you just tell us what this means for right now?” you asked. “I just think-I think I need a minute.”

Dr. Liu nodded his head and explained they were giving Julian medication to help with the infection and airway damage that caused him to cough up blood, then they would get him on some bronchodilators to help with his breathing for the time being while they assessed what other issues the cystic fibrosis had potentially caused in his body. He’d have to stay at the hospital for a while, but hopefully could be moved to the pediatric ward within the next day or so.

“We can talk more about what Julian’s medical journey will look like later, I’ll give you guys some time together and if you have any questions, Wilson’s got my pager and knows where my office is.”

You nodded your head and thanked him quietly as he left the waiting area. You finally sat down on one of the chairs.

James took the seat next to you and you covered your face with your hands.

“We couldn’t give him a functional family and a happy home and now we’ve given him a chronic medical condition to top it off.”

“Blaming ourselves isn’t going to do anything for Julian,” James said.

“And sitting around here is?” you asked and James sighed.

“No, no it’s not.”

You sat there in silence for a little while longer before you noticed James stand up and motion for you to follow him. As much as you didn’t want to listen to him and just sit and wait until they would let you be with Julian again, you got up and followed him to one of the OR supply closets. He used a key to unlock the door and sifted through some materials until he found what he was looking for, pulling out a scrub shirt in your size and handing it over to you.

You looked down at your own shirt, seeing the red specks of Julian’s blood and closed the door behind your both, pulling your shirt off over your head and handing it to James. You were about to put the other shirt on when you noticed the flecks of dried blood against your chest.

While you eyes were transfixed on that, James had grabbed an alcohol wipe package from the shelves and tore it open with his teeth, removing the wipe and reaching over to help you clean the blood off yourself.

“James, I can do it myself,” you reached for the wipe, but he pulled it away.

“You’ve got some on your neck too, just let me take care of it,” he insisted.

You knew better than to cause a fight over something trivial like this right now so you put your hands down, watching as James tossed your shirt over his shoulder and carefully began wiping away the specks of your son’s blood off your chest, collarbone, and neck.

“Have you eaten today?” he asked you while holding your face to tilt it to the side so he could get a spot he’d missed earlier.

“No, why?”

“Because it’s his birthday, you’d always forget to eat until dinner and even then it would be scraps from the party until I forced you to eat something better,” he recounted. “Let’s just go grab something from the cafeteria before we go back to the ICU, okay?”

“Will it make a difference if I say I’m not hungry?” you asked.

“You can’t take care of Julian if you’re not taking care of yourself.”

You scoffed and pulled the shirt over your head, “And you’ve suddenly become an expert on taking care of your family?”

“Believe it or not, we were once happy and there was a reason we got married and decided to have a child together.”

“And there’s a reason we got divorced too,” you added and opened the door behind you.

You didn’t go to the cafeteria, instead heading back to the ICU waiting room knowing either visiting hours would have to start eventually or they’d move Julian to his own room and you could finally sit with him.

James clearly hadn’t followed you so you ended up alone again, wringing your hands and waiting for some sort of news.

Eventually, you felt a bag drop on your lap and you looked up and saw James standing overtop of you. You looked inside and saw a package of a sandwich, a small bag of chips, and a water bottle.

You knew he was right, that if you didn’t take care of yourself you wouldn’t be able to take care of Julian, so you forced yourself to eat, even if you didn’t want to.

A little while later, Dr. Liu had returned and informed you that they were moving Julian to the pediatric ward and you could stay with him there in his room. When you joined him there, James had taken off his white coat and tossed it on one of the chairs, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and sitting down next to Julian’ taking one of his hands in his own.

“Don’t you have patients you need to see?” you asked, sitting on the opposite side of the hospital bed.

“I told Cuddy I needed the day, someone else is taking care of it for me,” he said, not removing his gaze from Julian.

With the two of them sitting next to each other like that, you could clearly see the similarities Julian had with his father. They shared the same eyes and nose, and when they smiled they had the same little creases around their eyes.

You wished that’s what you could have been looking at, them smiling together, instead of the frown etched onto James’ face and Julian still fast asleep while an oxygen mask now delivered the air he needed to help him breathe.

“Do you know much about cystic fibrosis?” you asked James, brushing your thumb against Julian’s other hand.

“Only that it mainly affects the digestive system and the respiratory tract,” he explained. “I’m not too familiar with how it's managed, just that there’s regular doctor’s visits and probably some medication and therapies involved.”

You could feel a small stirring and you looked down and saw Julian’s hand begin to move underneath yours.

You smiled when you saw his eyes blink open and James was quick to stand up and come closer to him so he had a familiar face to look at while he took in his surroundings.

“Hey buddy,” James smiled and you could see Julian light up at the sight of his dad. He lifted his hand to try to remove the oxygen mask, but James gently encouraged him not to. “This is giving your lungs an extra hand right now, let’s just keep it on until the doctor tells us it's okay to take it off.”

“But you’re a doctor,” Julian countered and James chuckled.

“I am, but I'm not your doctor. I am, however, your dad so you have to listen to me anyways,” he teased and bent down to kiss his son’s cheek and tickle him a little bit in the process.

“Hey, go easy on him,” you placed a gentle hand on James' arm and he laid off.

“You know,” James said. “It’s still your birthday.”

“It is?” Julian asked and you both nodded and James reached down to grab something he’d brought with him.

“All the presents your friends got you are at home waiting for you to get better so you can open them, but this is what I got for you,” he said. “I was gonna come and bring it to the party, but I think you brought the party to me.”

Julian laughed a little at that and you rolled your eyes, of course James could make himself look good by not showing up.

He sat up with the help of his dad and pulled out the tissue paper from the bag to see the present that was hiding underneath. With a big grin on his face, he took out a dinosaur stuffed animal along with a book all about the different species of the Cretaceous period.

“This is awesome,” Julian grinned. “Thanks dad, I love it.”

James gave Julian another kiss and you joined them, taking a seat on the bed and glancing over at the book on Julian’s lap.

“How are you feeling sweetheart?” you asked, fixing the twisted band of the oxygen mask on his face.

“My throat hurts a little bit,” he admitted. “And I’m kinda hungry.”

“Let me call a nurse and we’ll see what you can eat,” you said and pressed the button to send someone over from the nurses’ station.

Meanwhile, James poured Julian a glass of water and helped him take a few sips of it. His throat was probably irritated from being on the ventilator, but his lungs had become stabilized from the use of the bronchodilators.

The nurse came and you spoke to her about getting Julian something to eat and she said she’d double check with Dr. Liu and then grab him some food.

“Hey, Jay,” you walked over to the bed and took your son’s hand in yours. “Are you okay to hang out here with dad while I go grab some stuff from home? The doctors said we might hang around here for a few days so I think I need to pack a bag.”

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Julian nodded. “Are you okay mom?” he reached up and touched your cheek and you realized you'd let a few more tears slip.

“Yeah, I’m just really happy you’re okay,” you wiped the tears away and pressed a big kiss to his cheek. “Right, Jamie? We’re both happy he’s okay.”

James looked over at you with softness reflecting in his eyes at the sound of the nickname he hadn’t heard in a long time and nodded his head.

“Bring some cake back with you,” Julian whispered. “Even if dad and the doctor say no we can sneak some.”

You laughed at his plan and gave him another kiss, assuring him you’d pack some in a container to bring for him when you came back.

When you arrived at your home, you thought you might cry at the sight in front of you. The kitchen and living room were completely clean, presents piled neatly on the coffee table along with a new card you didn’t recognize. Coming closer, you noticed the bright marker, signature of eight-year-olds across the country, with the message Get Well Soon Julian! written on it and signed by all his friends who had attended the party.

You packed the card in your bag along with a few other things and made a mental note to grab a nice thank you gift for Mahlet to thank her for what she had done.

As promised, you cut a big chunk of cake, enough for the three of you to share, and packed it in a tupperware to bring back to the hospital.

You grabbed a few changes of clothes for both you and Julian and changed out of the temporary shirt you had on and into something more comfortable for the rest of the evening, making sure everything you needed was in place before heading out and going back to the hospital.

When you got back to Julian’s room you saw James squished in next to him on the bed, the book he had bought him opened on his lap as he read its contents to Julian. Julian was resting his head against James’ arm and James was doing those big exaggerations he always would whenever he’d read bedtime stories to Julian, emphasizing all the insane details and changing the inflections of his voice in just the right way to make him laugh.

“I brought cake,” you grinned, holding up the container as you entered the room, holding three plastic forks. “If Dr. Dad says it's okay, we can eat it.”

“Dr. Dad desperately needs some sugar,” James nodded his head and closed the book for the time being while you took a seat by Julian’s legs and opened the container, handing each of the boys a fork.

You helped Julian take off his oxygen mask for the time being and placed it off to the side, acutely aware of how his breathing sounded more laboured without it.

James only snuck in a couple bites of the cake before taking the mask from your side and holding it ready in case Julian needed a bit of an extra hand.

Just as he had predicted, after a few bites of cake Julian was noticing a bit of a difficulty to get air into his lungs and James held up the mask to his face, allowing him to take a couple deep breaths.

“What do you think of the cake, Jay?” you asked.

“Really good, just like everytime you make it,” he grinned.

“I’m sorry you didn’t have a great birthday, buddy,” James apologized. “I mean with all your friends and classmates.”

“What do you mean?” Julian asked. “I think I had a good birthday.”

“You do?” you frowned curiously, wondering what kind of light he’d seen in the day that you and James as worried parents had somehow missed. “What made it good?”

“We’re sitting eating cake. Together. Just like when I was little,” he said simply and you chewed on the inside of your cheek, looking over at James whose gaze hadn’t left Julian. He almost looked disappointed, at what, you couldn’t place, but at least for the moment Julian was happy and that was all either of you really wanted.

—

You grabbed your purse from the ground and thanked Dr. Liu for all of the information he had given you and assured you’d be there with Julian at the allocated follow-up time you had arranged. You were just about to leave when James came rushing into the room, apologies spewing out of his mouth for being late.

“Late? You missed the whole appointment.”

“I-I did?” he said, looking down at his watch and cursing when he saw the time.

“Jay, sweetheart, why don’t you sit down here,” you moved out of Dr. Liu’s office and set him up on a chair in one of the general waiting areas and handed him his dinosaur book from your purse. “I just need to go have a chat with your dad real quick.”

Julian nodded and opened up the book, flipping through the pages while you grabbed James’ arm and pulled him into a dead-end hallway so you could speak in private.

“What the hell took you so long?” you asked firmly. “We waited for twenty minutes before even starting the appointment!”

“I’m sorry,” James apologized, “I was in the OR with a patient and something went haywire and it took longer than expected to fix it.”

“Still, you couldn’t have told someone to at least pass on a message?”

“I was in the middle of saving a patient’s life! What did you want me to do?”

“I wanted you to be there for your son,” you whispered harshly. “You make promises you can’t keep and I have to watch him get disappointed over and over again. He does not deserve that, especially now.”

James placed his hands on his hips and said,

“I am trying to be there, it’s not for lack of effort-,”

“Well try harder!” you threw your hands up in the air. “You’re an ex-husband James, not an ex-father. You don’t have to show up for me anymore, but you damn well better show up for him.”

When he said nothing you continued.

“Believe it or not, you don’t have to work as much as you do James. You chose to do that and right now that’s coming at your son’s expense and he is scared and vulnerable and neither of us know half of what Dr. Liu is talking to us about. Do you know what he said to me when I was confused about the management plan? He said Dad would know what this means. Dad can help us. And he’s right, you would have known and you can help so stop acting like your fucking schedule controls you and get your schedule under control.”

James was quiet for a moment before he nodded his head,

“Okay,” he said simply.

You knew better than to get your hopes up with him and you didn’t have any more energy to argue, so you told him you could talk more later, but right now you were going to take Julian home so he could rest in his own bed and finally open his birthday presents.

“Is dad coming with us?” Julian asked when you picked him up and began walking away to leave the hospital.

“No, not this time,” you shook your head.

“Did you fight with him again?” Julian asked and you pressed your lips together.

“We just had a disagreement,” you settled on. “You can call him later when he’s done work if you want to talk to him, sounds good?”

Julian was content with your answer and left it at that.

Over the next few days, aside from Julian’s call, you didn’t hear much for James and you assumed things were right on track to going back to the way they had always been. You loved your son to pieces, but this was one time you wished his dad would be here to support, working and caring for Julian on top of trying to figure out how to be his at home doctor was already taking its toll and you didn’t know how you’d be able to keep it up.

One night, you were sitting in the living room reading a book Dr. Liu had recommended. It was detailing strategies for parents with children who had cystic fibrosis. In the middle of your chapter you were interrupted by a knock to your door and you put in your bookmark, wondering who was stopping by this far into the evening.

Unlocking the door and opening it, you found it hard to hide the surprise in your face when you saw James on the other end.

“James?” you tilted your head. “I haven’t heard from you at all this week, what’s going on?”

“I reduced my patient load,” he said, “and I talked to Cuddy about reducing my clinic hours. I still have to do some administrative stuff for the department, but it can be done from home for the most part.”

“Oh,” you were surprised to say the least. You didn’t realize your outburst the other day had worked.

“You were right,” he said. “I need to be here for Julian and I can’t do that if my work always comes first.”

You nodded your head, following along with what he was saying.

“C-Can I come in and see him?” James asked. “I know our custody agreement has always been all over the place-,”

You didn’t say anything, simply opening the door wider for him to come inside.

“He’s asleep in his room,” you said. “When you’re done we can talk some more.”

James nodded and stepped inside, slipping off his shoes and taking off his jacket, making his way to Julian’s room to sit with him for a moment before joining you in the kitchen.

“Want something to drink?” you asked and he said some water would be nice. You poured him a glass while waiting for the water to boil for your tea.

“I saw the book you were reading over there,” he pointed to the couch. “Dr. Liu recommended it to me too, I just finished it the other night.”

“Show off,” you rolled your eyes and handed him the glass.

“What I was trying to say is I think something that stood out to me is having consistency and a routine is good, especially when things are new,” James explained. “I don’t think it makes sense for him to be moving back and forth from here to my place.”

“So you think we should have a home base here?” you confirmed and he nodded.

“I can come by more often, if there’s days where you need to be at work I can be doing the administrative stuff here after school and take care of Julian until you get back.”

You pursed your lips and as you heard the kettle click, moved to pour your hot water into the mug you were holding.

“These are all good ideas,” you started.

“I’m assuming there’s a but coming?”

“But I don’t want to give Julian the wrong impression is all.”

James shook his head.

“You really need to pick whatever it is you want,” James crossed his arms over his chest. “First I’m not here enough, I don’t put my family first. Now I’m putting my family first and you’re worried Julian’s going to think this means we’re getting back together.”

“He doesn’t need to get his hopes up for something that’s never going to happen,” you said flatly.

“Have you ever considered having a conversation with him instead of shielding him from every little thing that might hurt him?” James asked and you rolled your eyes.

“Clearly every little thing can hurt him!” you pointed over to his room. “He can’t even breathe without help, James. Maybe he needs to be protected.”

“Stop, just stop,” James ran a hand over his face. “I can’t get into a fight with you every single time we see each other. Julian is just as much my son as he is yours, if this is going to work we need to be able to have a conversation with each other.”

You took a sip of your tea and said,

“Okay, I’m worried Julian might take the fact that you’re around more the wrong way.”

James nodded his head, “I hear you, so maybe we should talk to him about it and say I’m coming around more to lend a hand around the house and help take care of him.”

“Dad? What are you doing here?” as if on cue, Julian had walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes awake and adjusting to the light.

“Julian, where’s your oxygen mask?”

“I don’t wanna wear it mom,” he whined. “I don’t like the way it feels on my face.”

You sighed, having had this conversation at least five times before, you didn’t know what else you could say to convince him.

“Hey buddy, maybe we should listen to mom on this one,” James suggested. “You know that feeling you’ve got right here,” he pointed to his chest. “That’s only gonna get worse if you don’t wear it and we don’t want to have to go to the hospital again, right?”

Julian shook his head and sighed, stomping back over to his room to grab the portable machine and place the tube under his nose and around his ears, allowing him to get the right amount of oxygen.

You looked over at James gratefully and he reached his hand out to yours and gave it a squeeze. It was nice being on the same team even if you had just been arguing.

When Julian came back he repeated his question to his dad who explained that he was here to talk to you about a few things that would be changing soon and that he’d be around more to help look after him.

“If you’re going to be here to help look after me can you stay tonight?” Julian asked. “Mom still has some of your clothes in those boxes in her closet.”

“She does, does she,” James looked over at you.

“It was the stuff you wanted to give away and I never got around to it,” you said. “There’s probably a hoodie and some pyjama pants in there if you want to stay.”

James pressed his lips together and sighed,

“You know buddy as much as I would love to have a sleepover with you I don’t think it’s a good idea if I spend the night here,” James said. “But I can tuck you in again and wait until you fall asleep to go back home.”

“Mom, can you come too?” Julian asked and you nodded your head.

James stood up and helped Julian carry his portable oxygen machine back to his bedroom and you trailed behind them, watching as James carefully tucked Julian back under the covers while peppering his face with small kisses, like he would do when Julian was younger and just learning to sleep in his own room.

“Dad that tickles,” Julian giggled and James simply smiled and continued littering his face with kisses.

“Too bad. I love you too much; I just can’t get enough of you.”

“Alright, move it,” you nudged James from the opposite side of the bed and took your turn. “It must tickle having two parents who love you so damn much.”

“It does,” Julian’s laughter died out as you both finally left him alone, sitting on either side of his mattress.

You both wished him a good night and waited as he slowly fell back asleep. When his breathing was steady and his grip loosened on yours and James’ hands you took it as your cue to leave the room.

James placed a hand on your shoulder as you stepped out of the room, prompting you to turn around and face him.

“I’ll come by tomorrow and we can work out a schedule or something, does that sound good?”

You nodded your head,

“Yeah, I have a work thing tomorrow in the evening, I was gonna ask Mahlet, Hennock’s mom, if she could come look after Julian, but if you’re around…”

“I’ll come for dinner and then do the bedtime routine,” he said and you smiled.

“James I’m begging you-,”

“I won’t be late,” he assured. “No surgeries planned and I’m ending my shift with clinic duty.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line and nodded your head.

“I’ll see you then,” you patted his arm and he showed himself out.

You walked back to the kitchen grabbing your now lukewarm cup of tea and sitting back on the couch picking up your book and opening it, reading until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer, falling asleep right there on the couch.

—

Over the next few months, you, James, and Julian had developed some sort of routine around school, work, and doctor’s appointments. A part of you thought you were spending more time together as a family than when you were married.

Today you had to go in for work, also having reduced your hours, but in a way that you were working in tandem with James. When you arrived back home the house smelled like warm spices and big plates of home-cooked food.

You dropped your keys on the entryway table, next to James’ keys and wallet and took off your jacket, hanging it up before coming to the kitchen and seeing Julian and Hennock doing their homework at the island.

“Mr. Wilson, what is the difference between these two words?” Hennock asked, holding up his paper so James could see while cutting some vegetables for a salad.

“I think the first one is the kind of principal in your school that looks after all the students and the other one is… man, that’s hard to describe. Hey, how do you describe what principle is to an eight-year-old?” James asked you.

“I think that kind of principle is something that guides the way people behave or act,” you sat next to Julian and Hennock. “Like a principle is the foundation for something that people believe in.”

Hennock and Julian still looked a little confused by your explanation so you tried to give an example.

“So a principle could be to be kind to everyone we meet and so people who believe in that principle will try to follow it.”

That put it in better terms for them to understand and there was a chorus of oh’s before they looked back down at their papers and scribbled down a few things to answer the questions they were asked.

“They learning about homonyms?” you asked James and he nodded.

“I talked to Mahlet,” James said, changing the topic. “Hennock’s gonna stay for dinner and she’ll come pick him up around seven.”

“Sounds good, it’s always nice to have you, Henny,” you smiled and ruffled your hand through his coarse curly hair in an endearing way.

“Thanks, Mrs. Wilson,” Hennock smiled.

James was now over the stove, stirring what looked like a soup before giving it a taste and figuring something might be missing.

“Can you taste this?” James asked. “I don’t know why, but every time I make it there’s something off.”

You took a spoon and tried a little bit of the broth, looking down to see that he was making matzah ball soup and immediately when you tasted it you knew what was missing.

“I know what it is,” you said. “But you can’t tell your mom I told you. She swore me to secrecy.”

“My mother told you this?” James asked and you nodded.

“When we were getting married she wanted me to know how to make it the way she would for you when you were sick.”

“And she didn’t think to tell her own son how to do this?” he seemed thoroughly offended, but all you could do was laugh.

“It’s tarragon. I don’t think it’s something everyone adds, it was just something special she’d put in hers to make it a little different. Here,” you reached into the spice cupboard and took out a jar of dried tarragon and took a bit of the herb out of the container and crushed it in your hands before sprinkling it into the soup. James mixed it in and gave the broth a minute to soak in the flavour before trying it again and shaking his head.

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me!”

“I’ll let you finish having your little meltdown,” you patted his back. “I’m gonna hop in the shower quickly and we can eat when I get out.”

“Did Dad forget the tarragon?” Julian asked and you nodded your head.

“Wow, so everyone knew, but me?” James asked and you nodded your head with a shrug.

“Sorry, I guess your mom has favourites, or something.”

“Figures,” James teasingly rolled his eyes and you chuckled, waving him off and going to take a shower and change into something a little more comfortable.

When you came back outside they had migrated to the dining room table, each with a bowl of soup in front of them and a plate of salad. You sat on the same side as James since Julian and Hennock were already sitting next to each other and the boys happily recounted the details of their school day and playdate with you while everyone ate their soup and salad.

“What did you do at work, Dad?” James asked.

“Oh, nothing interesting,” he shook his head. “I think your mom was doing bigger things than me.”

“Bigger than treating people with cancer? You flatter me,” you drank some of your soup’s broth. “I had a meeting with a big company about a building they’re making.”

“Did you go do a site visit?” James asked and you nodded.

“Engineers are being a pain in the butt, keep making me adjust the design, but we’ll see who gets the last laugh.”

“Mom always does,” Julian told Hennock and they chuckled along with James.

After dinner James helped you clear up some of the dishes before heading out and leaving you with the boys. When Mahlet came by to pick Hennock up you invited her in for tea and a little visit.

“Thanks for coming to stay with Julian the other night,” you said after handing her a mug. “For once, I was the late one and James had an emergency come up so it was a huge help.”

“And how are things now, with the co-parenting?”

You took a sip of your tea, “Weirdly good,” you admitted. “We don’t argue as much which is nice and Julian gets to see his dad more.”

“Do you think maybe you’re not fighting because he’s changing?” she asked.

“I don’t wanna go down that path,” you shook your head. “If Jay hadn’t been diagnosed things would still be the same as they always were.”

“But they’re not. More often than not people show their true colours during times of difficulty.”

You took a deep breath and sighed, “If that was the case I would have seen something worth keeping when my marriage was falling apart.”

Mahlet nodded, seeing as you had a point and your conversation was halted as they boys came out of Julian’s room.

Mahlet and Hennock left shortly afterwards and you quickly got Julian ready for bed, tucking him in and then going to get settled yourself. You looked through a few client papers for work before calling it a night and turning off your bedside lamp, curling into bed and falling asleep.

Your sleep was interrupted in the middle of the night by a tapping on your shoulder and when you blinked your eyes open you saw Julian standing next to your bed.

“Jay, sweetheart, is something wrong?” you asked.

“My stomach really hurts,” he told you and you sat up, motioning for him to come sit with you on the bed.

“Where?” you asked, turning on the light and he pointed to the upper right corner of his abdomen. If you remembered correctly that wasn’t exactly where his stomach was and your suspicions were confirmed when you saw the yellowing whites of his eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, I think we have to go to the hospital.”

“The hospital? What happened?” Julian looked worried and you assured him everything would be alright.

“We’re just being safe,” you told him. “I’m gonna call your dad, maybe he can tell us a little bit more of what’s going on. Do you feel good enough to get your jacket and shoes and your hospital bag?”

Julian nodded his head and you gave him a kiss and he went off to grab his things while you did the same, but also taking your cell phone and calling James.

It took a few rings, but he eventually picked up.

“Hey, did something happen?” he asked and you could still hear the sleep thick in his voice.

“I think something’s wrong with Julian. I’m gonna take him to the hospital, can you meet us there?”

“Yeah, of course, I’m on my way.”

“James…the whites of his eyes were yellow. Does he have jaundice?” you asked.

“It’s possible, was there anything else?”

“Yeah, he mentioned stomach pain, but he pointed to like his upper right abdomen, I think,” you explained while grabbing your bag and putting on some socks.

“Makes sense as a liver issue,” you could hear his car starting in the background. “If he’s presenting symptoms now I would call an ambulance.”

“James-,”

“Just trust me,” he said. “Call 911.”

“Okay,” you nodded your head and hung up, calling the emergency services and explaining the situation to them and then to Julian while you waited for them to arrive.

James made the right call, seeing as while you were in the ambulance Julian began to throw up and the paramedics obviously handled it better than you could have if you had driven him.

When you arrived at the ER they wheeled Julian away and you began getting flashbacks to when you first brought him in.

“Where are you taking him?” you called after them, but no one answered you. “What the hell kind of hospital is this?! Where are you taking my son?!”

“Ma’am they're taking your son to do a liver biopsy,” one of the nurses came back and informed you. “We need you to sign this consent form.”

You nodded your head and took the pen from her hand, signing it, but just as you were about to ask her a question she ran off to give them the okay.

You could feel your anger and worry bubbling inside your throat and you wanted to let it out in a scream and you were about to go running after her, but before you could you felt someone grab your wrist and pull you back.

“James let me go,” you said warningly, looking back at your ex-husband.

“No,” he stated just as firmly.

“James-,”

“I am not going to let you do something you’re going to regret,” he said and pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, even when you pushed to get away.

“James, let me go.”

“No,” he repeated and simply held onto you tighter.

“Let me-,” your voice broke and you stopped pushing away. “Please, Jamie, please I just want to see him,” you cried into his shirt and he squeezed you so tight you thought you might get bruises in your arm from the way he was holding you.

“I know, I know,” he whispered. “You brought him here and he’s going to be fine.”

“I can’t do this anymore, James. I can't be his mom and his doctor and they can’t expect me to wait out here while they drag him away and ask me to consent to God knows what.”

James didn’t know what to tell you, instead he just continued to hold you close, rubbing his hands up and down your back, and pressed a soft kiss against your temple.

You wrapped your arms around him and finally let yourself fully sink into his embrace, hating yourself for how much you liked it and how good it made you feel while your son was in some back corner of the ER getting a piece of his liver biopsied.

Eventually James pulled away from you, helping you dry your tears on the sleeve of his sweater and walking with his arm wrapped around you to the waiting area. You didn’t know how long you were sitting there, but it was possible that you had dozed off once or twice against James’ arm, waiting to hear some sort of news from the ER doctor.

“Mr. and Mrs. Wilson?”

Your eyes blinked open when James gently shook you awake.

“That’s us,” he said. “Is Julian okay?”

“Your son has a mild case of cirrhosis,” the doctor explained. “Due to his cystic fibrosis diagnosis we believe this is due to clogging and inflammation in his bile ducts.”

“What does that mean for him? Does he need surgery to fix it?” you asked, fighting back a tired yawn.

“Unfortunately, yes,” the doctor nodded. “It’s good you caught it early, there’s minimal damage to his liver so far and he’s still growing which means his liver is too. We can get him into an OR tomorrow if you consent to the surgery.”

You looked over at James and he nodded his head. You trusted him and told the doctor you would sign the papers as soon as you could see Julian.

“He’s been moved to the pediatric ward for now and Dr. Liu has been informed of the development. He should be in touch with you tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” James said and when the doctor left, he helped you up and you began the walk up to the pediatric ward.

When you arrived a nurse pointed you in the direction of his room and after each pressing a kiss to Julain’s forehead you sat on the seat bench together.

“We should sleep,” James said, but you had a hard time imagining how that would be possible.

“I’m having a hard time working out the logistics,” you admitted.

“Come on, it’ll be just like on the way back from our honeymoon,” he insisted, recalling your extremely delayed flight on the way back from France, causing you to sleep with your head on James’ lap, stretched out along the airport chairs.

You were too tired to argue or try and find another way, so you leaned down and rested your head against his legs, closing your eyes and sighing when you felt his hand rub up and down in long motions along the side of your body. Sleep could not have come quicker.

—

“Mom…Mom, Dad?”

Julian rolled his eyes when he received no answer and grabbed the stuffed animal you had placed next to him when he’d come into the room and threw it at his sleeping parents, nailing his dad in the face.

“Oh, God, mhm, wake up,” James shook you while he raised his hands to rub his face.

“Huh?” you opened your eyes and pushed yourself off of James’ lap. “Oh crap, my back. Remind me not to listen to you when you talk about doing something I did ten years ago.”

“Julian, did you throw Steggy at my face?” James asked, picking up the stuffed animal from where it had fallen on you.

“You weren’t getting up,” Julian shrugged his shoulders.

“Julian,” you chastised and took the dinosaur from James’ hand. “You could have hurt your dad’s important doctor-face,” you joked and rubbed your hand all over James’ face making Julian laugh.

“Okay, okay,” James moved your hand away and gave you a look.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” you yawned and moved from the bench to the side of his bed.

“A little better,” he said. “Did the doctors fix what was wrong?”

“Not yet,” James shook his head and came to sit next to you and placed a hand on Julian’s. “You’re gonna have to go in for surgery today.”

“A surgery?” Julian looked a little nervous. “Like cut me open?”

“It’ll be just a line right here,” James drew it with his finger along Julian’s abdomen. “They’re going to fix a part of you called your bile duct and then sew you right back up and you’ll be good as new.”

“Is it dangerous?” he asked.

You looked over at James, a small note telling him to lie to make him feel better. He didn’t need to know all the details.

“No,” James shook his head. “You’re gonna be fine and your mom and I will be here the whole time.”

“Promise?” Julian whispered.

“Swear on it,” James leaned in towards his son and snuck a kiss to his cheek. “We love you, buddy.”

“I love you guys too.”

Dr. Liu came by a little while later to inform you what time the surgery was scheduled for and he helped make Julian feel a lot better about the procedure. When it was finally time for him to go, you were a nervous wreck, but tried not to let it show for Julian’s sake, instead just pressing a big kiss to his forehead and telling him you’d be waiting for him once he got out.

It only took about fifteen minutes of your pacing to get James to grab onto your arm and make you stop.

“You’re gonna burn a hole in the ground,” he said.

“I don’t know what to do with myself,” you admitted. “If I sit I’m gonna fidget, if I stand I’m going to pace.”

“Then come on, let’s go to my office for a second, grab a coffee and a snack and then we can come back out and wait,” he suggested.

You agreed to his idea so he stood up and you walked side by side to his office, passing House who had some comment about your dishevelled appearance together.

“You’re an interesting man, Greg,” you shook your head at him. “You can’t think of any other reason we might be here?”

House was silent so James explained,

“Julian’s in surgery right now. He’s got cirrhosis.”

“Ah so not a late night ex-wife rendez-vous. Can’t get ‘em right all the time,” he shrugged and you chuckled. “I hope the kid’s alright.”

“Thanks, that means a lot coming from you,” you admitted.

He raised his brows and lifted his cane to say goodbye, letting you and James continue your walk to his office.

“House mind that you’re not spending as much time here?” you asked.

“No, he just bothers me more when I am around,” James said while opening the door and letting you inside.

He went towards his desk and pulled out a few packages of snacks tossing you one and you shook your head when you saw the label.

“You still eat these? I thought the FDA recalled them?” you asked sarcastically.

“I’m sorry I have better taste in food than you do,” he said right back.

“Right, this is food,” you chuckled. “And if you have such good taste why didn’t your mom tell you about her secret ingredient?”

“That’s cold,” he pointed to you with a bag of chips in his hand.

“No, it’s true. Just like your dad telling me I was his favourite wife of yours,” you opened the bag James had tossed you.

“Just shut up and eat your snack,” James chuckled and you listened to him, beginning to eat a little something, not realizing how hungry you were until the food made its way to your stomach.

“You got another one of these?” you asked and he nodded, passing it to you when you were finished with the first one.

“Feeling a little better?” James asked and you nodded your head.

“Hey James?” you said, unsure of how you’d gotten to this point, but you were too exhausted to stop yourself from saying it. “I want you to move back in.”

“You want me to do what?” he raised his brows and looked at you stunned.

“I want you to move back in with me and Julian,” you said. “It’s becoming pretty clear to me that it’s safer to have two people around when possible than not and you’re already around all the time now.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked. “I mean you didn’t want to give Julian the wrong idea about us.”

“Our lives changed the second we got that diagnosis. I think we need to change along with everything else.”

You couldn’t believe that just barely twelve hours ago you were telling your friend there was no chance James had changed, but here you were saying things that had proved you had changed. Things you wouldn’t have dreamt of saying a year ago.

“Okay,” James nodded. “I’ll move back in.”

You just silently hoped you wouldn’t regret asking.

Waiting for Julian to get out of surgery was a little easier now that you had some food in your stomach and you decided to wait on coffee until you got the note from the surgeon that everything had gone well.

As James had continued to assure you almost a hundred times, the surgery went fine and before you knew it you were back in Julian’s room watching him sleep off the anaesthetic.

“You know he looks like you when he sleeps,” James said from the bench while you sat on the bed next to Julian.

“He does?”

“Yeah, his nose does that same scrunchy thing when he sniffles and when he snores-,”

“Hey, I only snore when I’m congested,” you said defensively.

“I never minded,” James smiled. “I thought it was cute when you sounded like an old man.”

“Yeah, but you’re not fond of all my old man characteristics,” you turned around to face him, still holding Julian’s hand in yours.

“All your old man characteristics?” James furrowed his brows in confusion.

“You told me I argued like an old man. Stubborn and could only see my own way. And I fought dirty.”

“You sure did,” James nodded. “If you brandishing my mother’s clear favouritism shows anything, it’s definitely that you fight dirty, but I never said I disliked that about you.”

“Really? Near the end I thought there was a lot you disliked about me.”

James shook his head, “No, I was just upset and you were passionate. It wasn’t like my other marriages where things just…fizzled.”

“We did go out with a bang,” you inhaled deeply.

“If it weren’t for Julian… do you think we’d…”

You shook your head.

“No, we probably never would have seen each other again. Another old man trait, I hold a pretty mean grudge.”

James pressed his lips together and looked over at his sleeping son.

“I’m happy we had him,” he said quietly. “Even if we didn’t work out.”

“Me too,” you agreed, looking over at Julian quietly snoring, just like his dad had said. “Best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Julian’s nose watching him scrunch it up, making you smile. It was a miracle that two such flawed individuals could make a child so perfect.

—

“Alright, he is asleep, but I do warn you it took some bribery so you’ll have to buy him another dinosaur book to read to him at night,” you walked out of Julian’s room, dusting your hands off like you’d just finished a heavy labour job.

“I’ll run to the bookstore tomorrow,” James nodded and you fell onto the couch next to him and sighing as you sunk into the plush fabric before noticing what he was doing.

“Where did you pull these out of?” you asked with a soft chuckle.

“I was just clearing up the closet in the guest bedroom and I found a box of these,” he picked up the albums. “Look at this one.”

He placed the book of photos on your lap and you smiled seeing as it was Julian’s baby album, filled with small mementos and little notes you and James had made in the margins.

“Oh my God, Mom’s first day home, she looks like an angel,” you read from the side. “And my response: I look like I just got hit by a bus, cut it out.”

“You can still read my chicken scratch writing?” James asked.

“My most useless talent as I like to call it,” you nodded. “You wrote a lot in here.”

“I used to bring it with me to work cause I missed you guys so much,” he admitted. “Made me feel closer to you.”

You read through some of the notes in the book, chuckling a little at some of the written back and forth you had. Eventually you got to the family portraits you’d had taken a few months after Julian was born, smiling softly to yourself.

You remembered the day well, you felt like you hadn’t slept in weeks, James was just getting off of a twelve-hour shift and you were almost late to your appointment with the photographer. You were worried everything was going to look terrible and you’d barely had enough time to do your hair or makeup, but James had silenced your worries with a kiss and assured you the pictures would be fine.

In the end most of them were terrible, but the photographer managed to get two shots, one of you and James smiling down at Julian in your arms and another immediately after where you were looking up and smiling at each other.

“That session was a shitshow,” you recalled and James agreed. “We did get a few nice things out of it though.”

You looked back down at the pile of albums in front of you and noticed a large white one, tucked under a few things and even though nothing good could come of it, you pulled it out from the bottom of the pile, carefully blowing off the dust and turning the first page.

Centerfold, just like you remembered it, was a picture of you and James on your wedding day. You leaned further back into the couch and James scooched in closer to get a look.

You both looked younger in the picture, with that spark of je ne sais quoi in your eyes.

“I told you there was a reason we got married,” he said quietly, his hand brushing the corner of the photo.

“Yeah, we loved each other,” you said. “That was the reason.”

“Same reason we decided to have Julian,” he added.

You could feel your breathing become a little more shallow and a tightness in your chest as James spoke about Julian. You remembered the conversations so clearly, like you’d had them yesterday, caught between happy and passionate kisses while James made some dirty jokes about getting you pregnant.

That was back when he still couldn’t get enough of you. Before things changed and he slowly distanced himself until it felt like it was just you and Julian against the rest of the world, and not the three of you like he had promised all those nights throughout your pregnancy.

You wondered quietly to yourself what had changed? What had become so unbearable that there was distance in the first place? There was never a lack of love on your end which is why this was dangerous.

At least when there was distance you could be angry with him, you could go to bed at night and not remember all the little things that made you love him in the first place. He wasn’t there as a constant reminder that you loved his cooking, or even just your banter together. More importantly, it was giving you new reasons to feel that fluttering feeling in your stomach.

You’d always loved how he’d interact with Julian, but now that you got to see it day in and day out, it made it harder to weigh that against the cons of everything. Most notably, this was the beginning of the end. If you let yourself fall you would both crash and Julian would be caught in the middle once again.

You tried to distract yourself by flipping through the album photos to find some funny old picture of a relative or maybe even an embarrassing moment to tone down whatever it was that looking at that picture was making you feel.

All you could focus on was how in every picture, almost without fail, James was looking over at you. Rarely into the camera along with everyone else. He was enamoured, that was the only word to describe it, and oh how much you missed that look.

You made the mistake of tearing away your gaze from the pictures, looking up at James instead, and for a moment you thought just maybe you saw that same look in his eyes. But no. It couldn’t have been. The dim light of the lamp must have been playing tricks on you.

Finally you closed the album and put it back down, unsure of what feelings might resurface if you opened another one. Your honeymoon, family dinners and pictures were all just reminders of the happy times, not what came after.

James did what you didn’t want to, grabbing another album and sifting through the pages until he found what he was looking for, taking a picture out of its protective sleeve and showing it to you.

“Can I keep this one?” he asked.

You took it from his hands, examining it while your fingers precariously held the edges of the photograph.

It was a silly picture, something you had taken while you were travelling. James got someone to take the camera, but along with snapping a few shots while you were posed with smiles they caught a few candids, most notably, James kissing your cheek while you laughed and tried to squirm out of his grasp.

Your finger gently brushed over the spot on the photo where James’ lips were against your cheek before nodding your head.

“Sure, you can have it,” you handed him back the picture and patted your hands against your legs, preparing to stand up. “I should get to bed.”

“I’ll be out here for a while longer if you need anything.”

You gave him a tight lipped smile and stood up, walking towards your bedroom. When you closed the door behind you, you let out a breath you had been holding and ran a hand across your face.

Maybe Julian was never the one at risk of getting the wrong idea.

—

Waking up in the middle of the night always made you feel uneasy. Especially if Julian was the one waking you up. The chance that you’d have to drive to the hospital or call an ambulance was high and you hated the fear and worry that came along with any possible complications.

Tonight, you woke up on your own accord. Your heart was beating inside your throat and your stomach felt like it was housing a group of persistent butterflies.

You glanced over at the clock and saw the time, flashing in red.

3:07

You took a deep breath trying to steady your heart rate and breathing before peeling away your blanket and kicking your feet over the side of the bed. You grabbed a different pair of pyjamas from your dresser and walked into the washroom, tossing them on the far end of the floor while you stripped down and turned on the water for the shower.

When you stepped inside you hissed initially at the cold, but forced yourself to become fully submerged under the water, closing the curtain behind you. Your muscles clenched as your body adjusted to the temperature, and when the time finally came you let your thoughts and dreams become washed away by the water coming out of the shower head.

You were simply standing there, letting the water fall on your face when you heard the click of the door opening.

“Julian, sweetie,” you sighed, turning around so you could speak. “Maybe you should go to your dad if something’s wrong, I’ll come out in a sec.”

“No need,” you heard a voice that did not belong to your son.

“James? I’m in the shower. What are you doing?” you asked incredulously, feeling the need to cover yourself up even though there was a curtain blocking his view. You felt exposed nonetheless.

“It’s three in the morning, I thought something was wrong, I came to check on you,” he explained.

“And what were you doing up?” you asked.

“Got in late. There was an emergency at the hospital after you guys went to sleep, I dealt with it and just came back.”

You stepped under the running water again, washing the water over your face with your hands.

“So, is everything okay?”

“Peachy,” you said sarcastically, leaning against the wall of the shower.

“Nobody ever says peachy when things are okay,” James pushed further and you sighed, moving to sit down on the floor of the shower, still positioned under the water.

“I just had a dream, that’s all,” you said, watching as the water hit your toes and the ground around you.

“A bad dream?” he asked.

“No, it was more like… déjà vu.”

James sighed, and rubbed his hands on his legs.

“Was it about us?”

He took your silence as a yes.

James didn’t really know what to say, his hands were clasped together as he leaned forward sitting on the bathroom counter.

“You’re not gonna ask what it’s about?” you hugged your knees close to your chest.

“Would you tell me?”

“Maybe…I don’t know,” you mumbled.

There was another moment of silence before James spoke up again,

“What was it about?”

You turned to face the water with your eyes closed again, gathering the courage to speak.

“It started when I told you I was pregnant,” you said softly. “Like the memory replayed in my head, exactly how it happened.”

“I remember that day,” you heard the soft smile in his voice as he spoke. “You took the test at work and when it came back positive you came straight to the hospital to tell me.”

“I was barely two steps inside your office when I blurted it out, you were eating lunch and had that stupid look on your face with a mouth full of sandwich,” you chuckled to yourself.

“I almost choked on that,” James shook his head. “And I just remember running up to you and freaking out.”

“And then when you were done freaking out and everything sunk in you kissed me, and you told me you loved me, and we cried because we made a child. Our love did that.”

You reached forward and turned the shower off, pushing yourself up on your feet and taking a deep breath before pulling back the curtain. You had told him what you were thinking. You couldn’t get any more exposed than that.

James looked stunned for a moment and it didn’t go unnoticed how his eyes raked up and down your figure.

“Get me the robe, would you?” you motioned to the back of the door and he jumped down grabbing the robe and holding it out for you so you could place your arms into the sleeves and wrap the towelled fabric around you, trying it off with the belt.

When you turned your head to look back at James, you could tell at least you’d succeeded in raising his heart rate, much like he was doing for you recently.

You moved to go sit on the closed toilet while James retook his spot on the counter.

“Do you remember when Julian was born?” he whispered.

“I like it was yesterday. I can’t believe it’s been eight years,” you nodded your head.

He was having trouble holding your gaze and you wondered what he was about to say.

“I-I screwed up,” his voice was soft, almost hurt, like it pained him to think about what he had done. “When you were resting afterwards the nurse asked me if we were going to do a newborn screening. We hadn’t talked about it, but you were so tired and it was such a hard labour…” he swallowed thickly, his voice wavering slightly, remembering the birth. It wasn’t easy by any means and James had often thought that the hardest thing he’d ever had to watch was you in that much pain. “I told her we weren’t going to do it. I just didn’t want Julian to leave and h-he looked so perfect I never thought anything could have been wrong with him.”

James took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, “I am a doctor and I didn’t get a newborn screening for my son, what the hell kind of father does that make me?”

“Oddly enough, I think it makes you a good one,” you admitted.

“Even though we could have known about this years before? We could have gotten him treatment, medication, therapies, all sooner?” he looked back at you confused.

“You said it yourself, Jamie. He was perfect for us. Still is.”

James nodded his head and looked forward at the opposite wall. You stood up and walked over towards him, reaching out a hand to gently hold his face, your thumb brushing against his cheek while he looked at you.

“I don’t blame you for this,” you whispered. “I don’t blame you and I don’t think you’re a bad father.”

“I know,” he murmured, “but I do.”

You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, not knowing what other comfort you could offer.

James leaned in a little to your touch, sitting up straighter when it was gone, trying to play it off like he hadn’t been missing it and craving it as much as you.

You were about to say something when you heard a knock on the washroom door, and this time it had to be Julian.

“Mom? Dad, are you in here too?” you could hear his small sounding voice, a little strained and worried so you quickly assured him you were both inside and opened the door.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” you asked, noticing his tear-stained face.

“I just had a bad dream,” he sniffed and wiped his eyes.

You kissed away his tears first before assuring him everything would be fine, you and James were there to take care of him.

“Why don’t you go and lay down on my bed with your Dad?” you suggested. “I’ll get dressed and come join you.”

Julian nodded and made his way over to your bed while you went to quickly speak to James.

“It’ll be good for you. Both of you,” you told him.

“You don’t mind?”

“Just this once.”

James thanked you with a kiss to your cheek and left the adjoining washroom, closing the door behind him and giving you a minute to get changed and deal with anything you needed to before going back to bed.

When you opened the door and came back into your room, you saw James under the covers with Julian pressed close to him, their foreheads resting together while James told him everything was going to be alright and he could go back to sleep.

You slipped in under the covers, sandwiching Julian between you both, letting his back rest against your chest while you pressed a kiss to his hair.

One hand was tucked under your pillow and another was draped over Julian, and your fingers carefully placed over top of James’.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” Julian asked his dad.

“Right next to you,” he kissed his nose. “Now try to get some sleep, okay?”

Julian nodded his head and yawned and you whispered a quiet goodnight to bed him and his dad before letting your eyes close, silently smiling when you could feel James’ hand finally hold your own.

—

“You guys, relax, he’s going to be fine,” Mahlet placed a hand on both yours and James’ shoulders while you spewed out your worries. “It’s one night, I have the whole list of things he needs and I’ve taken care of him before, right? It’s just at my house this time so the boys can have a sleepover and you two can have a bit of a break.”

“She’s right,” James sighed. “I’m still worried out of my mind, but she’s right.”

“Mahi, are you sure you don’t want us to come even for a little bit?” you asked.

“Absolutely, if something happens I’ll call an ambulance and then you, but Julian’s been good for months now, he can survive one night away from home,” she assured you.

“Thank you, Mahlet. I’m sure Julian and Hennock will have a great time tonight. Just call us when he’s ready to be picked up tomorrow morning,” James said.

James wrapped his arm around you, giving you a squeeze knowing you were still uneasy about this, but deep down you knew Mahlet was right. The chances of something going wrong at this point were small and you’d had enough time since your last hospital visit to even consider doing something like this.

“You boys ready?” James called and Julian came rushing out of the room with his bag in hand, Hennock following close behind him.

“You have fun tonight, okay?” you bent down and gave Julian a kiss. “And if anything happens or you feel sick, or are having trouble breathing, tell Mahlet, okay?”

“I know, Mom. Dad already told me this like fifteen times,” Julian chuckled.

You looked up at James and he shrugged.

“Alright, well you guys better go before I change my mind,” you crossed your arms over your chest and that was all the permission the boys needed to run off, leaving Mahlet to say goodbye before stepping out and closing the door behind her.

You sighed and turned around, looking at James who had his hands shoved into his pockets.

“You hungry?” he asked.

“I could eat,” you nodded your head.

“Why don’t we make something for dinner together?” he suggested.

You looked at the clock and smiled, “I think we’ve got enough time for pizza, what do you think?”

“I think that’s a great plan,” James agreed. “I can start on the dough and you get the sauce and toppings?”

You gave him a thumbs up before putting your hand out to high-five him, noticing how your fingers so easily intertwined before you walked apart and let go.

James rolled up his sleeves and took off his watch, placing it on the small jewelry tray you kept by the sink for when you were washing dishes, while you went to the fridge and began pulling out all the things that could make good pizza toppings.

Moving to the sink to wash some vegetables, you noticed James’ watch resting there. You didn’t pay much attention when he was wearing it, but now you realized why it looked extra familiar. It was one you had gotten him as an anniversary present after your first year married.

“You still wear that?” you pointed with your eyes to the watch.

“It’s my favourite watch, of course I wear it,” he nodded while portioning the flour into a large bowl.

“Even with that engraving?” you raised a questioning brow.

“Dearest Jamie, Here’s to the first of many happy anniversaries. Love forever, Your Wife,” he recited the engraving back to you.

“I don’t know why you do that to yourself,” you chuckled a little, looking down into the sink.

“Yeah, well why do you still go by Mrs. Wilson?”

“Easier to keep the name than change it again,” you partially lied, it wasn’t the full truth, but it was what you had been telling yourself ever since the divorce was finalized.

James could sense you were lying, but he knew the only way to get you to open up would be to let himself be open with you.

“The watch is my favourite because you gave it to me. Functionally it sucks and it's uncomfortable, but you went out of your way to get me something that looked nice and that’s why I love it.”

You smiled a little to yourself, but kept your head facing the sink and continued to wash the vegetables.

“You’re not going to say anything?” he inquired.

“Do I have to?” you asked.

“That’s normally how a conversation works,” he remarked and you chuckled.

“What do you want me to say?” you asked.

“Honestly, the real reason why you kept your married name,” he said plainly.

You sighed, “It wasn’t a full lie. If I went back to my maiden name Julian and I wouldn’t have the same last name it just makes things complicated and confusing and I didn’t want to deal with it, but,” you added, “I always kind of liked the sound of Mrs. Wilson and even though I was pissed at you all the time I still liked that there was one thing aside from Julian connecting us. I don’t know, maybe I didn’t want to end up like Sam or Bonnie just…detached, like there was barely a trace that you were even there.”

“It’s a fingerprint,” James said. “Mine.”

“Yeah, even though it's small for who we were to each other, it's the fingerprint you left on my life.”

James pressed his lips together and opened his mouth to say something before shutting it and evaluated how he was going to speak,

“Can I ask you something?” he settled on.

“Sure,” you nodded, moving over to the cutting board and placing yourself on the opposite side of the kitchen island.

“Did…Did you ever stop loving me?”

Your smile faltered and James noticed the change in your demeanor, quickly retracting his question.

“You know what, forget I asked,” he shook his head and continued to knead the dough.

There was a moment of silence before you spoke again.

“I didn’t, but I got tired of not being loved back.”

James stopped what he was doing and looked up at you with concern.

“You thought I stopped loving you?” he asked.

“James, I was wife number three. Didn’t take much to connect the dots and see you got tired of me,” you said bluntly. “I wanted to know if I could count on you, and it was starting to feel like maybe I couldn’t. Then the divorce happened and everything after that just made me feel like I was right.”

James chewed on the inside of his cheek and remained silent.

“You didn’t fight for me,” you said quietly. “You fought for joint custody, but you didn’t fight for me. You just…accepted it.”

“I…I didn’t know you wanted me to fight for you.”

“Are you saying you would have?” you asked, unsure of whether or not you wanted to hear his answer.

“I’m saying I thought I didn’t even have a chance,” he admitted.

“So you wouldn’t have,” you clarified for him, beginning to chop the toppings into pieces and separate them into bowls.

He chuckled humourlessly, “I have dated one person since the divorce. I hated it.”

“Why do you have to talk in puzzles, James? Why can’t you just come out and say what you really mean?”

“And then what?” he asked. “We go back to living in the same house. Sleep in separate rooms. Move on now that we know the truth?”

“Say it,” you put the knife down and looked him right in the eyes.

“What are you going to do about it?” he asked, cleaning the dough off his hand. “I’m going to say it and you’re just going to stand there and I have to live with that?”

You walked around the counter and came right up in front of him.

“If you were listening to anything I was saying, you would stop making excuses and say it.”

“Fine!” he threw his hands up in the air. “I still love you. I never stopped loving you. These past few months, even though stressful, have been the happiest I’ve been in so long because I feel like myself again when I’m with you and Julian. Because I feel like your husband, and I feel like a father and I keep kicking myself wondering how I could have been so stupid to lose that.”

“Say it one more time,” you whispered, lifting your hands to hold onto his face. “Please.”

“I love you,” his voice was softer, relieved like after being underwater he could finally breathe again.

You finally pulled him into you, your lips hesitantly resting on his at first, before you found your rhythm again after so long. It was muscle memory, his hands finding the spot they always rested against on your hips, his lips moving in synch with yours, eventually trailing off and finding their favourite spot against your jaw and behind your ear.

“James,” you breathed.

“Jamie,” he mumbled against your skin. “Call me Jamie.”

“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” you repeated the nickname until he silenced you with another kiss, muffling your voice.

“God, I missed you,” he whispered when you pulled apart, breathing heavily due to your fast beating heart.

You closed your eyes while your forehead rested against his, feeling his nose touch yours, his hands still firmly planted on your hips when your thumbs brushed against his cheeks.

“Jamie?”

James snuck another small kiss at the sound of the nickname.

“Yes, my love.”

“Can I count on you?”

You could feel him nod his head and confirm with a verbal ‘yes’. And even if it turned out to be a lie, at that moment you didn’t care. He had proved to you that it was possible, you could work with that.

“I love you,” you said and kissed his nose and then you said it and kissed him again for good measure. “You told me twice; I tell you twice.”

James moved his hands up from your hips and brushed the back of his fingers against your cheek, a warm smile coming to his face.

And there was that look, the one you thought had vanished over time. His eyes fully transfixed on you with nothing but love and admiration. It didn’t take much to convince yourself you could get used to seeing that look for a long, long time.

TAGLIST —

@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter

#this is a long read but its absolutely worth it and i cannot recommend it enough #textpost #writing #reblog #house md #house md x reader #james wilson #james wilson x reader

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runawrites-blog · 23 days ago

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a new year thing

oneshot: this new year’s eve, with no big plans and plenty of quiet moments, something shifts between you and chase. the playful banter gives way to a growing tension, and as midnight approaches, so does the realization that things between you might be changing.

pairing: robert chase x reader

tags: roommates to lovers, slight slowburn, fluff, holiday romance

based on this prompt by @novelbear (tysm i luv ur prompts so much) <3

It was New Year’s Eve, but neither of you had any extravagant plans. After the whirlwind of work in the hospital, you and Chase had barely noticed the date. No party, no fancy countdown, just the two of you—roommates who’d become more like something undefined, and you both were too tired to figure it out.

Instead of celebrating, you ended up on the couch, binge-watching some ridiculous show while your laundry was still piled up on the floor. The air was quiet, interrupted only by the occasional chirp of the smoke alarm that had been mocking you for days now.

You stared at the thing and groaned. “Man, I should probably change the batteries in that smoke alarm. It’s been chirping all week.”

Chase, stretched out lazily beside you, raised an eyebrow, not moving from his comfortable position. “Want me to do it? You can’t reach that thing, you know.”

You shot him a playful glare. “Excuse me? I’m perfectly capable of reaching it—on a good day, maybe with a chair.”

“Right. And then you’ll fall and break your neck,” he said, smirking as he sat up, brushing his hair back. “Come on, just let me do it.”

You sighed and handed him the batteries. “Fine, since you’re so desperate to be the hero.”

Chase chuckled and stood, dragging the step stool from the corner. He climbed up and easily reached the smoke alarm, his hands skillfully replacing the batteries. He looked down at you, that smirk still plastered on his face. “See? Easy.”

You crossed your arms, shaking your head. “You just like showing off because you’re taller.”

“Not my fault you’re vertically challenged,” he shot back with a grin as he jumped down from the stool, landing lightly on his feet.

“Sure, rub it in,” you muttered, but your lips twitched into a smile. “So, what now, hero? Want a reward?”

He flopped back down on the couch beside you, making the cushions bounce. “Maybe stop hogging the couch?”

You bumped your knee against his, shifting a little to give him space. “I wasn’t hogging anything.”

He gave you a playful nudge in return, and the two of you fell into comfortable silence, the TV filling the room with background noise as the clock ticked closer to midnight.

“Happy New Year, by the way,” Chase said softly, breaking the quiet.

You glanced at the clock—it was two minutes to midnight. “Happy New Year.”

It was a simple exchange, no fanfare, no fireworks, just the soft hum of the TV and the warmth of Chase beside you. The way you were sitting, your shoulders were pressed together, your knees bumping occasionally. The quiet felt different, heavier with the weight of something unspoken between you two.

Midnight arrived, and outside, you could hear fireworks exploding in the distance. But inside your little apartment, it was calm. Chase reached over, casually resting his arm on the back of the couch behind you. You felt the shift in the air, like something was about to happen but neither of you was quite ready to acknowledge it.

You broke the silence with a sudden, almost impulsive question. “Should we kiss?”

Chase’s head snapped toward you, eyes wide, the question catching him off guard. “What?”

“What?” you echoed, immediately regretting your boldness. “I mean, it’s New Year’s and… isn’t that a thing people do?”

He blinked, his mouth twitching into a small smile, but his eyes remained serious for a beat longer. “Only if they want to.”

A warm flush crept up your neck. You hadn’t thought this far ahead—what had you been expecting? Before you could come up with something coherent, he reached for your hand, his fingers brushing against yours softly. His touch was gentle, like he was asking for permission.

“Well, do you?” His voice was lower now, a little more serious.

You opened your mouth to answer, but then you saw it—that vulnerability behind his teasing smile. The way he looked at you wasn’t casual, it wasn’t something you could laugh off. You swallowed hard and nodded, the air between you thickening with unspoken feelings.

Chase didn’t hesitate after that. His hand cupped your jaw softly, and he leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. The kiss wasn’t hurried or awkward—it was slow, like both of you had been waiting for this moment far longer than either was willing to admit. You could feel the warmth of his skin, the way he breathed against you, steady and grounding.

When he pulled away, there was no rush to speak. You both sat there for a moment, eyes locked, the gravity of what had just happened hanging between you. The TV droned on in the background, but neither of you noticed it.

“I didn’t know you felt…” you trailed off, unsure of what to say.

“Yeah, well,” Chase rubbed the back of his neck, the familiar playfulness creeping back into his voice, though his eyes remained serious. “Guess it took New Year’s for me to stop being an idiot.”

The days following your accidental confession were filled with strange, unspoken moments. There were times when Chase would brush past you in the kitchen, his fingers lingering on your arm a little longer than necessary. You’d catch his eye during breakfast, and he’d give you that knowing smirk, like he was waiting for you to say something.

One evening, a few days after New Year’s, you walked into your room to find a bouquet of flowers sitting on your desk. A little card was tucked into the stems, and the handwriting was unmistakably Chase’s.

“Did you get me flowers?” you asked, holding them up as you walked into the living room where he was lounging on the couch.

Chase glanced at the flowers and then back at the TV, nonchalant. “They were for decoration.”

You raised an eyebrow. “In my room?”

He shrugged, refusing to meet your gaze. “Thought it could use a bit of color.”

“Right,” you muttered, but you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. You set the flowers back in your room, your heart doing that weird, fluttery thing it had been doing ever since New Year’s.

The shift between you and Chase wasn’t dramatic. It was quiet and subtle, like two puzzle pieces finally snapping into place after spending too long figuring out where they belonged. You spent more time together, lingering in each other’s spaces, exchanging glances that carried more meaning than words.

One night, after a long shift at the hospital, you came home to find Chase trying to change the batteries in the smoke alarm again. The step stool wobbled slightly under him, and you stifled a laugh, crossing your arms as you leaned against the doorway.

“You’re gonna fall,” you called out.

Chase turned, glancing down at you. “What, you don’t trust me to handle this?”

You let out a loud laugh, and you saw how his expression softened even more, as if knowing that you generally find him funny cures something in him.

“Get down, then,” he said, stepping off the stool with a grin. “I’ll let you try.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing him out of the way. “You’re hopeless.”

As you climbed up, Chase stayed close, his hands resting on your hips as if ready to catch you if you lost your balance. You could feel his breath on your neck as you fumbled with the smoke alarm, and despite your best efforts, the moment felt heavier than it should’ve.

“You’re not even doing anything,” you muttered.

“Just enjoying the view,” he teased, squeezing your hip playfully.

“God, you’re impossible,” you grumbled, but there was no real annoyance in your voice. You liked it—this new, easy intimacy between you.

---

The clock struck midnight again, marking a few weeks since that first kiss on New Year’s Eve. This time, there was no hesitation. You and Chase had settled into this new chapter, one filled with teasing, casual moments, and the quiet understanding that, somewhere along the way, your friendship had shifted into something deeper.

As you sat together on the couch, his hand resting lazily on your thigh, you couldn’t help but smile. “So, we gonna kiss again at midnight, or is that only a New Year’s thing?”

Chase looked at you, his green eyes twinkling with amusement. “Nah, I think we can make it an everyday thing.”

And just like that, he leaned in, pressing his lips against yours, the moment feeling just as new and exciting as the first time.

#i love this one its so lovely #house md #house md x reader #robert chase x reader #robert chase #reblog #writing #textpost

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runawrites-blog · 23 days ago

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Nothing Personal (Boba Fett X Reader) (NSFW)

Oh my god. I could think of nothing else this week but this. I haven’t written any of the things i need to do for class because this has consumed my thoughts. It is also SO MUCH LONGER than I originally intended. Oh my god. This is so long. It’s almost a whole entire ESB rewrite, which I really didnt intend but I got carried away. ESB takes place five years after ANH, and six years after part one, so I am fully imaging Mr. Temuera Morrison under the helmet now. Here’s Part 1

Warnings: Reader is a lil snitch, again this is essentially an ESB rewrite with a reader self-insert, flirty Lando, implied (past) sex, Possessive! Boba, PDA, the Han/Leia angst that comes with ESB, a smidge of angst, Smut, rough sex (like wow,) dry humping, marking, spanking, again a warning for possessive! Boba, soft! Boba and fluff

Word Count: 4,650

#the second part of this great work!#textpost #writing #reblog #star wars #star wars x reader #Boba Fett X Reader #boba fett

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runawrites-blog · 23 days ago

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See You Again (Boba Fett X Reader) (NSFW-ISH)

I’m so glad to be writing for Boba Fett again! I missed him! This is just the set-up to my idea I’ve had recently, but I have had this thot before. This takes place a year before ANH, Boba is 31, and I’m picturing grown up Daniel Logan under the helmet 👀 (Part 2)

Warnings: Established relationship, pet names, mentions of death, alcohol consumption, making out, groping, exhibitionism, biting/marking kink

Word Count: 1,867

#i love this little 'series' so much it's a mist read #textpost #writing #reblog #star wars x reader #star wars #boba fett x reader #boba fett

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runawrites-blog · 25 days ago

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"English isn't my-"

Hush now my friend, and let me read the absolute beauty of a fic that you have bestowed this world and humiliated the first English speakers with

#textpost #seriously

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runawrites-blog · 25 days ago

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Ouch, My Face | Dad Bucky Barnes x f!reader x Bucky's daughter.

Pairings: Dad!Bucky Barnes x f!reader x daughter

Themes: Funny as in Bucky's reaction. Mentions of school teasing/bullying.

Summary: You and Bucky have been called to the Principal's office because your daughter Bianca hit another kid with her lunchbox.

A/N: I just feel like Bucky would do something like this 😂. . .

The tension in the principal’s office is almost suffocating, the kind that makes you shift uncomfortably in your seat and wonder just how far you can push the limits before someone snaps. But not little Bianca Barnes. No, she sits perched at the edge of her chair, feet swinging, hands folded primly in her lap like she wasn’t just hauled into the principal’s office for smacking another kid across the face with a metal lunchbox.

Principal Torres clears his throat, looking between the three of you with a wary expression. “Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, I called you both in because there was an...incident today during lunch.”

You part your lips, half-ready to apologize profusely, when Bianca cuts in, her tiny voice bursting with righteous indignation.

“She started it!” Bianca’s face flushes red as she leans forward, eyes blazing. “That big girl said I was dumb ‘cause I can’t read good. She said, ‘I bet you can’t read what’s on my hand!’” Bianca mimics the older girl’s mocking tone, raising a tiny fist as if to make the same gesture.

Principal Torres blinks, bemused. “And what was written on the other girl’s hand, Bianca?”

Bianca takes a deep breath, throwing her arms wide. “‘Ouch, my face.’” That’s definitely not what was written on the girl's hand.

There’s a giant pause in the room as everyone processes that declaration.

“She called me a liar,” Bianca continues, steamrolling on as if she hasn’t just declared the most absurd statement. “She said, ‘No way, that’s not what it says, you’re so dumb you can’t even read.’ But I didn’t back down, no way.”

She shakes her head furiously. “I just thought, what would Daddy do?”

You shoot Bucky a sharp look, one eyebrow lifting as you slowly turn your head toward him. Bianca’s voice fades into the background as your expression narrows into something suspicious, your lips slightly pursed, eyes boring into Bucky as if silently saying, Did you seriously tell our daughter to hit someone?

Bucky shifts in his seat. From the corner of your eye, you see him glance sideways at you, his face stiffening as if he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His mouth twitches, the hint of a guilty smirk threatening to break through, but he tries his best to appear serious—innocent even. With a small, almost imperceptible shake of his head, he mouths, What?

You don’t blink, your suspicion growing stronger. Slowly, you turn your gaze back toward Bianca, who is still animatedly recounting her tale. Then, as if you share one brain, you and Bianca both turn back to Bucky, the same unimpressed look mirrored on both of your faces.

Bucky’s stiff expression melts into a defensive half-smile, a silent plea of Don’t look at me like that. He shifts again, looking more and more like a kid caught sneaking candy before dinner.

You cross your arms, gaze flicking up and down his form, as if daring him to deny his involvement. Bianca stops speaking mid-sentence, noticing the way you and Bucky stare each other down.

“What?” Bucky finally mutters, the corner of his mouth twitching upward in the ghost of a smile.

“Daddy said the lunchbox was the best weapon,” Bianca pipes up suddenly, blinking innocently between you and Bucky.

Your eyes widen a fraction, and you turn fully in your seat to face Bucky. The look you give him then is one for the books—one brow arched high, chin tilted in that knowing way that says, I knew it!

“Then I hit her with my lunchbox!” Bianca declares triumphantly, crossing her arms over her chest.

You turn back to your daughter, jaw hanging open. “Bianca—”

“But she didn’t fall down,” Bianca mutters, clearly displeased. “She just went, ‘Ouch, my face,’ like I knew she would.”

Another pause.

You turn your head again, slowly this time, fixing Bucky with a narrowed look, one that screams This is your fault. He shifts slightly, schooling his expression into one of feigned innocence.

“Don’t look at me,” he mouths, raising his hands just the slightest, the picture of a man who isn’t at all responsible for his daughter’s violent sense of justice.

But the guilt is all over him. You recognize the barely concealed pride lurking in the corners of his eyes, the twitch of his lips threatening to curve into a grin. You narrow your eyes at him, exhaling sharply through your nose.

Principal Torres clears his throat again, and you snap your head back, trying to hide your own incredulity. “Mrs. Barnes, I think we need to have a discussion about—”

“About what?” Bucky’s voice is a lazy drawl, but there’s an edge to it, protective and almost daring. “Bianca defended herself against a bully.”

You shoot him a look, a clear not helping expression that Bucky answers with another side-along glance that’s almost sheepish. Sorry, he mouths, but it’s clear he isn’t.

“Mr. Barnes,” Principal Torres begins, clearly exasperated. “We’re not encouraging physical altercations as the first response here.”

“Sure, sure,” Bucky says agreeably, nodding along. “Just tell your kids to keep their hands to themselves. Then mine won’t need to step in.”

You groan softly, burying your face in your hands. Bucky’s gaze flicks over to you, and you can feel his amusement.

When you finally peek through your fingers, Bianca is still going on, explaining in minute detail how she calculated the exact swing angle of her lunchbox. You shoot Bucky one last look, shaking your head slightly.

He just shrugs with a grin that could only be described as smug.

You can’t help the exasperated smile tugging at your lips. “Bianca, honey,” you murmur gently, drawing your daughter’s attention. “Next time, let’s use our words first, okay?”

Bianca beams, nodding enthusiastically. “Okay, Mommy. But only if the words are really, really strong ones.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, and Bucky chuckles softly. That’s his daughter alright. Parenthood is going to be a long, long road, especially with the two of you.

#this was such a fun read and so cute loved it #mcu #marvel #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #textpost #writing #reblog

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runawrites-blog · 25 days ago

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in hazardous bliss | part one

LITTLE REBEL

part two →

{series masterlist} {masterlist} {cross-posted on ao3}

Rating: Explicit 18+

Pairing: Boba Fett x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Chapter Summary: never in your life did you expect to meet boba fett, let alone have him between your legs.

Chapter Warnings: explicit sexual content, oral sex (f receiving), handjob, cumshot, size kink, possessiveness, boba is a cocky manwhore

A/N: if i stare at this any longer i’m going to psych myself out sooo here we go! thank you so much to everyone whose expressed interest in this, i hope you like it 🥺

Keep reading

#love this one and the reader's background is such an interesting plot point #star wars #star wars x reader #boba fett x reader #boba fett #textpost #writing #reblog

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runawrites-blog · 25 days ago

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This is your boyfriend, Mom? | Beefy!Bucky Barnes x f!reader.

Pairings: Beefy Bucky Barnes x Single Mom reader. Themes: Bucky getting absolutely roasted by a six and half year old baby boy. Summary: Bucky comes over and meets your very protective son for the very first time. A/N: I'm in a phase where I like Bucky interacting with kids. . .🥲

The doorbell chimes, and you pull open the door, coming face to face with a broad-shouldered figure that fills the entire doorway. Bucky’s piercing blue eyes twinkle with humor, but there’s a hint of uncertainty in his posture, as if he’s unsure whether to step inside or bolt.

“You’re here!” you exclaim with a warm smile, stepping aside to let him in.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Bucky murmurs, leaning in for a brief kiss before glancing around your living room nervously. “So, where’s the little guy?”

A shuffle of small feet behind you catches your attention. You turn to see your son peeking out from behind the couch, his eyes narrowing suspiciously as he sizes up the man who just entered his territory.

“There he is!” You wave your hand toward your son encouragingly. “Come say hi.”

Your son doesn’t budge, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Bucky like a miniature security guard. “So, this is your boyfriend?”

You can hear the disdain dripping from each word, and Bucky’s lips twitch into an amused smile. “I guess I am.”

“Mom,” your son deadpans, his eyes never leaving Bucky’s. “This is what you’ve been hyping up? He looks like he just rolled out of bed.”

“Hey, kid, I put in a lot of effort today.” Bucky gestures to his dark leather jacket, perfectly disheveled hair, and rugged stubble. “This is my ‘I’m totally put together but still approachable’ look.”

“Approachable?” your son snorts. “With that hair? You look like a drowned dog who’s been through a tornado and then zapped by lightning.”

Bucky blinks, surprised. He looks at you, then back at your son, and his mouth quirks up in a grin. “A drowned dog, huh? That’s original. So, what’s your excuse for your hair?”

Your son’s small hands shoot up defensively to his carefully combed locks. “My hair looks great, thank you very much. I didn’t put all this mousse in for you.”

You bite your lip, trying to suppress a laugh. “Be nice,” you whisper to your son, who rolls his eyes dramatically before turning his attention back to Bucky.

“Alright, old man—”

“Old?” Bucky interjects, eyebrows lifting. “I’m still in my prime, kid. What are you, five?”

“I’m six and a half.” Your son’s voice drips with indignation, as if Bucky has committed an unforgivable crime by getting his age wrong. “And you’re still old. You probably creak when you sit down.”

Bucky shakes his head, chuckling. “I don’t creak, but your mom might tell you I’ve got a few squeaky joints, yeah.”

“Ew, don’t—don’t tell me stuff like that.” Your son makes a gagging noise and then glares up at you. “Why is he even here, Mom? You know I’m supposed to have final say.”

“You have final say?” Bucky repeats, clearly intrigued. He shifts his weight, giving the boy a once-over. “What’s your name, anyway, kid?”

“Lucas.” He squares his shoulders, a defiant lift to his chin. “Got it memorized, old man?”

Bucky nods slowly, a glint of amusement in his gaze. “Lucas, huh? Alright, Lucas, I’ll try not to forget it.”

“You better not.” Lucas looks Bucky up and down, his brow furrowing in concentration. “Mom, this guy looks like one of those 90s action figures. You know, the kind where the legs don’t bend, and they’re so top-heavy they keep falling over.”

You snort loudly, unable to hold it in, and Bucky shoots you a betrayed look.

“Kid’s got a point,” you manage to say between laughs, and Bucky shakes his head, feigning exasperation.

“Oh, really?” Bucky folds his arms across his chest, staring down at Lucas. “Well, you look like a baby duck that wandered into a windstorm. All fluffed up and ready to pick a fight, huh?”

Lucas blinks, startled for a moment before narrowing his eyes, a grin forming on his face. “Better than looking like a grumpy cat that hasn’t had its coffee yet.”

You cough to hide your laughter, and Bucky raises an eyebrow. “Grumpy cat?”

“Yeah, with all those lines between your eyebrows.” Lucas steps closer, squinting as if he’s examining a rare species. “I bet you frown at the sun, too.”

You stifle a giggle, and Bucky sighs dramatically, placing his hands on his hips. “I’m starting to think you don’t like me, Lucas.”

“Starting?” Lucas tilts his head mockingly. “I’m basically giving you a head start, ‘cause if I really didn’t like you, you’d know.”

Bucky chuckles, glancing at you. “I like him. He’s got guts.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get too comfy, Gramps.” Lucas gestures to the couch with a flourish. “The only reason you’re even here is ‘cause Mom seems to think you’re ‘cute’ or whatever.”

“I am cute,” Bucky agrees seriously, causing Lucas’s mouth to drop open in disbelief.

“No. Way. You’ve got metal bits, and your beard is all scratchy, and—” Lucas cuts himself off, his gaze dropping to Bucky’s stomach. “And a jelly belly! Mom, did you know your boyfriend has a jelly belly?”

“What?” Bucky sputters, glancing down at himself with wide eyes. “I don’t have a jelly belly—Also this beard?” He strokes it like he’s pondering life’s great mysteries. “Your mom likes it.”

“Yes, you do!” Lucas insists, poking at Bucky’s midsection with a tiny finger. “Superheroes are supposed to be all muscle, but you’re hiding a squishy balloon in there.”

“Squishy balloon?” Bucky repeats, looking thoroughly betrayed as he turns to you.

“Lucas,” you chide gently, but your son’s eyes are wide and innocent. “Don’t be mean,” you add, fighting back laughter.

Bucky sighs and looks down at Lucas with a mock serious expression. “You know, I’m part super-soldier, part robot, and part… dad bod. It’s a package deal, kid.”

Lucas narrows his eyes, scrutinizing Bucky’s face. “I guess that makes you a little cooler, but you’re still a metal-armed grumpy pants.”

“Metal-armed grumpy pants?” Bucky echoes, eyebrows lifting. “Wow, we’re just racking up the nicknames today, huh?”

“Yup.” Lucas grins, then frowns again, cocking his head thoughtfully. “You’re also kinda like a… metal mop. All hair up top and a shiny stick arm.”

“A metal mop?” Bucky asks, his voice filled with mock offense as he raises his eyebrows. “You’re really on a roll.”

Lucas shrugs, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. “I think it suits you.”

“Well, you’ve got guts, I’ll give you that,” Bucky says with a chuckle.

Lucas scowls, but there’s no real heat behind it. “You’re lucky, you know.”

“Oh?” Bucky leans down, hands on his knees to get on eye level with Lucas. “And why’s that?”

“‘Cause Mom likes you,” Lucas mutters, eyes flickering to you and back to Bucky, a hint of protectiveness in his tone. “But if you hurt her, I’ll tell everyone you still sleep with a nightlight.”

Bucky’s eyes widen in shock. “What? I don’t—”

“Yeah, okay,” Lucas interrupts, holding up a finger. “But I’ll tell everyone you do. Including all the Avengers.”

Bucky’s mouth opens, and then he shuts it, clearly struggling for a response. “You wouldn’t.”

Lucas just stares at him, completely unblinking. “You wanna test me, Mr. Metal Mop?”

Bucky glances at you, looking for support, but you just raise your hands innocently. “He’s tougher than he looks.”

After a long pause, Bucky leans down, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “Alright, kid, name your terms.”

Lucas pretends to think for a moment, tapping his chin. “You have to play video games with me… three times. No complaints. And no quitting when I beat you.”

Bucky looks horrified. “I—”

“Deal?” Lucas extends his tiny hand with a sly grin.

Bucky glances between you and Lucas, then sighs dramatically. “Deal.”

Lucas’s grin widens. “Oh, and one more thing—if I catch you throwing the controller in frustration, I’ll know you can’t handle losing.”

Bucky stares at him, completely lost for words.

“Just a fair warning.” Lucas pats Bucky’s arm as if he’s the one doing Bucky a favor. “Welcome to the family, Mr. Jelly Belly who’s gonna get his butt kicked at Mario Kart.”

You burst out laughing, and Bucky groans, running a hand down his face. “You’re really not gonna let this go, are you?”

“Nope.” Lucas shakes his head with a grin. “Better practice up, Grumpy Pants.”

“Practice? Against you?” Bucky scoffs, but the smile pulling at his lips betrays him. “Kid, I’m gonna wipe the floor with you.”

“Sure, Mr. Nightlight,” Lucas replies smoothly. “Sure.”

Bucky glances at you and then back at Lucas, a mischievous look in his eye. “You know, at this rate, you’re gonna start calling me Dad.”

Lucas pauses, then tilts his head with a confused look. “Why would I call you Dad?”

Bucky smirks. “Because you know I’ll beat you so bad at those video games, you’re gonna need a parental figure to console you.”

“Right, I can call you Dad,” Lucas’s eyes light up, and he leans in, voice dropping to a whisper. “Only if you pay me twenty bucks a week, Dad.”

Bucky’s jaw drops. “Twenty bucks?!”

“Yeah,” Lucas shrugs nonchalantly. “Think of it as a ‘dad fee.’ I’m expensive. Mom’s got good taste.”

Bucky looks at you, baffled. “Did he just—?”

“Oh, and I’ll need a ride to school every morning,” Lucas continues, holding up his fingers as he lists his demands. “And ice cream. Twice a week. But no toppings. I’m not greedy.”

Bucky bursts out laughing, shaking his head. “You really thought this through, huh?”

“Business is business,” Lucas says with a serious nod. “So, what’s it gonna be, Dad?”

Bucky blinks, then leans back and sighs dramatically. “Sorry, buddy, but I think I’ll just stick with Mr. Metal Mop.”

Lucas crosses his arms, a sly grin forming on his lips. “Your loss. Could’ve been Dad. Now you’re just gonna be the guy who cried during Shrek.”

Bucky’s shoulders slump as he glances at you, utterly defeated. “I’m doomed.”

“Yup,” you say with a grin. “But hey, at least you didn’t agree to the ‘dad fee.’”

“True,” Bucky mutters, then he turns back to Lucas, raising an eyebrow. “But for the record, I did not cry during Shrek.”

“Sure, Mr. Nightlight,” Lucas deadpans. “Sure.”

#i love this one it's so good and reader's son is so sassy #and the fact that he accepts bucky bc bucky is sassy too is so fun and sweet #mcu #marvel #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #textpost #writing #reblog

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runawrites-blog · 25 days ago

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Annoying (Boba Fett x fem!Reader)

Annoying ( Boba Fett x fem!Reader )

Warnings: fluff, hurt with sorta comfort, mentions of blood, one (1) mention of an erection, naughty words

Word Count: 3.1K

Author’s Note: boba may be a grumpy boyfriend, but he’s pretty decent. reminder that requests are open and if you want to be added to my tag list the link is in my bio :)

Keep reading

#must read #it's genuinly one of my favourite boba fett 'fics' out there it's so well written and funny and sweet and UGH I LOVE IT #star wars #star wars x reader #boab fett #boba fett x reader #writing #reblog #textpost

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runawrites-blog · 25 days ago

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Don't Look at Me Like That [18+]

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader. Summary: You get stuck in an awkward position in a very tight space and Bucky's dick decides it's a good time to get hard. Themes/Warning: Comedy Smut, forced proximity. Oral sex - Male Receiving. Guided Deep throating. A/N: Hah......to have your throat ruined by bucky ;_;

@classicrebound can you guess what inspired this? LOL

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Bucky groaned as the door of the janitor’s closet clicked shut, trapping the two of you inside.

The Avengers’ compound was massive—thousands of square feet of pristine, state-of-the-art design, but you and Bucky had somehow found yourselves stuck in the one claustrophobic, cramped janitor’s closet with a broken door handle.

“Move your stupid foot,” you muttered, glaring up at him.

“I can’t move anywhere, doll. There’s no room,” he snapped back, looking like he was trying very hard not to elbow you in the face as he shifted.

He wasn’t lying. There was barely enough space for one person, let alone two. Your shoulders were pressed against shelves full of cleaning supplies, and your knees were almost touching the floor, awkwardly bent as you knelt in front of Bucky.

“Why didn’t you wait until I finished grabbing the damn broom?” he complained, glowering down at you.

“Because I needed it!” You rolled your eyes, exasperated. “You were taking forever, and— Look, I’m sorry, okay? Just… help me up.”

Bucky tried shifting again, but with the tight space and the way your body was jammed into the corner, it was impossible. “You’re wedged in there like a sardine. I’m gonna have to—”

“Just move!” you snapped, tugging at his belt for leverage.

The sudden force made him stumble forward. You yelped as his hips knocked into you, and you lost your balance, falling forward—right into the worst possible position imaginable.

“Whoa—! What the hell?” Bucky’s voice came out in a strangled yelp as you braced yourself on his thighs, your face now directly level with his crotch. You looked up at him, scowling.

“I swear, Barnes, if you don’t—”

But the words died on your lips when you met his gaze. His chest heaved with the effort of keeping his balance, and his hands hovered uncertainty in the air as if he didn’t know what to do with them. The tension in his face slowly turned into something else as he looked down at you.

You blinked up at him, your annoyance fading as his expression shifted. His blue eyes locked onto yours, and you could feel the air change between you—growing thicker, heavier.

“Bucky…?” you asked, voice softening as you looked up at him, noticing his breathing had gone ragged.

He swallowed hard, the muscles in his throat working visibly.

“Doll,” he managed to croak out, his voice strained.

“What?” You frowned, looking at him in confusion.

“I—” He glanced down at you, his gaze darting to your lips before flicking back to your eyes. His nostrils flared, and he shifted awkwardly. “You… gotta stop looking at me like that.”

You furrowed your brow. “Like what?”

“Like—” He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut for a second before looking down at you again, his cheeks flushed. “Like you’re about to… you know.”

Your eyes widened, and it took a second for his words to register.

“Wait… What?! I’m not—!” You pulled back slightly, trying to put distance between you, but it only made things worse.

Because that’s when you noticed it. The growing, unmistakable bulge in his jeans, right in front of your face.

“Oh my God, Bucky,” you gasped, your voice a mix of shock and disbelief. “Are you— Are you getting hard right now?!”

His face flushed crimson. “I— No! I mean— I don’t know! You’re the one kneeling in front of me like— like—”

“Like what, Barnes?” you demanded, eyes narrowing. “Like I’m about to— Oh my God!”

You threw your hands up in frustration, accidentally brushing against his thighs in the process. His breath hitched, and you pulled your hands back like you’d been burned.

“Stop it!”

“I’m trying!” he hissed back, his voice dropping to a desperate whisper. “You’re making it worse, dammit!”

“What do you mean I’m making it worse?” you snapped, staring up at him in disbelief. “You’re the one getting turned on in a janitor’s closet!”

“I’m not doing it on purpose!” he growled, his hands flexing at his sides. “You keep looking up at me like that, and I— I don’t know, okay? It just— happens!”

“Stop saying it happens!” you squeaked, your face heating up as you looked at the bulge right in front of you. “Just— make it go away!”

“I can’t!” Bucky barked, his eyes wild with frustration. “I’m not a damn magician!”

“Then just think of something!” you snapped, voice rising. “Think of— of— I don’t know, dead puppies or—”

“That’s not helping!” he yelled, his voice cracking in a way that would have been hilarious if it weren’t for the very real problem growing in front of you.

“Then stop thinking about me!” you shouted back, your voice a panicked whisper.

“You think I’m doing this on purpose?” His eyes narrowed, his gaze dark and dangerous. “I can’t stop it, okay? It’s a reflex!”

“Reflex?!” You threw your hands up in exasperation. “What kind of reflex?”

“The kind that happens when someone’s looking up at you like they’re about to—” He cut himself off with a groan, rubbing a hand over his face. “God, this is the worst.”

“I’m not looking at you like that!” you protested, shaking your head furiously. “I’m looking at you like you’re a goddamn idiot!”

“Well, your face is saying something else!” he shot back.

“What’s it saying?” you demanded.

“Like you’re about to— I don’t know—” He faltered, his eyes darting down to your lips and then back up. “Like you want to—”

“Oh my God, stop it!” You covered your face with your hands, utterly mortified. “Just— Stop getting turned on, okay?!”

“I’m not trying to!” he groaned, dropping his head back against the wall. “Christ, do you think I want to be stuck in a closet with a hard-on right now?”

“Then do something about it!” you yelled, glaring up at him.

“I can’t just tell it to go away!” he yelled back.

“Then tell yourself to go away!” you shouted.

“Where the hell am I gonna go, Y/N?!” he yelled back, throwing his hands up. “We’re stuck in a goddamn closet!”

The two of you fell silent, glaring at each other. Bucky was breathing hard, his chest heaving with every breath, and you were trying very hard not to look at the problem that was still very much in your line of sight.

“This is insane,” you finally muttered, shaking your head. “Just— take deep breaths or something. Think. . .Think of Steve in a Speedo!”

Bucky made a face. “Why would I think of Steve in a Speedo?”

“Because it’ll kill the mood!” you shot back. “Just do it!”

Bucky sighed heavily but nodded. He closed his eyes, muttering to himself as he took slow, deep breaths. “Steve… in a Speedo… Steve… in a Speedo…”

You waited, watching his face closely. After a few long moments, his shoulders relaxed slightly, and his breathing steadied. He opened one eye and glanced down at you.

“Better?” you asked cautiously.

“Yeah.” He let out a long, relieved breath. “Better.”

“Good.” You nodded. “Great. So, can we get out of here now?”

“I’ll try the door again,” he muttered, reaching for the handle. But when he moved, he shifted just slightly forward—and the bulge that was supposed to be gone brushed against your shoulder.

You froze.

Bucky’s eyes flew open.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” you shrieked. “Bucky, stop it!”

“I can’t!” he shouted, his voice echoing through the tiny closet.

“Why can’t you just—”

“I don’t know! You’re the one who’s all— all down there, and—”

“Stop saying I’m down here like I’m doing something else!” you screamed back, face burning. “Just— I don’t know— stop thinking about my face!”

“I’m trying!” he yelled back. “But you keep looking up at me like—”

“Like what?!” you demanded. “Like I want to blow you or something?!”

“Yes!” he shouted, then slapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes widening in horror.

The closet fell silent.

You stared up at him, mouth hanging open in shock. “Bucky… did you just—”

“I didn’t mean—!” he spluttered, turning even redder. “I mean— I just— Oh God—”

“Oh my God, this is— This is the worst,” you whispered, covering your face with your hands again. “This is literally the worst.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed, sounding utterly miserable. “It really is.”

The two of you sat there in stunned silence, the reality of the situation sinking in. Bucky was still very much hard, you were still very much kneeling, and neither of you could move an inch.

“…So, how long do you think it’s gonna take for this to… y’know… go away?” you asked hesitantly, still crouched awkwardly on your knees. You shifted a little, trying to get comfortable, but every slight movement made your face closer to the obvious problem in Bucky’s jeans.

“I don’t know, okay?” Bucky muttered, his voice dripping with frustration. “Just… don’t look at it.”

“Look at what?” you asked innocently.

“My… my—DICK.” He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut for a second as if to gather his composure. “Just… stop looking at my dick!”

You blinked up at him, eyes wide with feigned confusion. “I’m not looking at anything.”

“Yes, you are!” Bucky hissed, gesturing at his crotch. “You’re staring right at it, doll. I can feel your eyes on me.”

You glanced at the bulge again and then back up to his flushed face.

“Oh, this?” you asked, pointing at it like it was a random spot on his jeans. “Sorry. Didn’t realise I was staring.”

“Y/N…” he warned, his voice low and dangerous.

“What?” You shrugged, doing your best to keep a straight face. “It’s kind of hard to not notice, y’know?”

“Just—” Bucky exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose with his metal fingers. “Just stop. Stop looking at the dick. Stop talking about it. Just… stop it.”

“Fine, fine.” You nodded and turned your head away, doing your best to ignore his predicament. But after a few seconds of awkward silence, your eyes involuntarily drifted back.

And there it was—still very much… present.

“Y/N!” Bucky growled, his voice strained. “Stop looking at it!”

“I’m sorry!” you blurted out, throwing your hands up in a helpless gesture. “It’s just— it’s right there, and it’s not going away!”

“Well, you’re not helping by staring!” he snapped, his voice a mix of irritation and something else—something that sounded suspiciously like desperation.

“Okay, well, maybe…” You hesitated, biting your lip as you considered your options. This was already the most awkward situation you’d ever been in, but if it wasn’t going away…

“Maybe what?” Bucky demanded, narrowing his eyes at you suspiciously. “Don’t even—”

“Maybe I should just…” You waved your hand in a vague motion, indicating the space in front of you. “Y’know… help or something?”

Bucky’s entire body went rigid.

“Help?” he repeated slowly, his voice barely a whisper.

You nodded, feeling a wicked smile tug at the corners of your lips. “Yeah… I mean, it’s not going away, right? So maybe if I just—”

“And what?!” Bucky interrupted, looking both horrified and intrigued. “What are you saying, Y/N?”

“And maybe if I…” You pressed your tongue against the inside of your cheek suggestively, your eyes dropping down to the bulge again. You heard Bucky’s breath hitch, and you had to suppress a grin as his gaze darkened.

“Don’t,” he warned, his voice a low growl. “Don’t you dare.”

You tilted your head, looking up at him through your lashes. “What? I’m just trying to help. You said you couldn’t get rid of it, so…”

“So what?!” Bucky’s voice was almost hysterical now, and he shifted on his feet still not knowing what to do with his hands. “You think— You think you can just—”

“I mean…” You leaned in slightly, your cheek brushing against his thigh as you moved closer, your lips dangerously close to the outline of his jeans. “If it’ll get us out of here faster…”

“Y/N, don’t.” Bucky’s voice was strained, his hands coming up to hover uncertainty in the air as if he wanted to push you away but couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. “I’m serious. This isn’t—”

“Isn’t what?” You raised an eyebrow, pressing your tongue against your cheek again in that infuriatingly suggestive way. “What do you want me to do, Bucky?”

“Not that!” he blurted out, his voice cracking slightly. “Just— Jesus, Y/N—”

“What?” You tilted your head, batting your lashes up at him. “It’s not going away on its own. And you said it’s my fault, right?”

Bucky groaned, his head dropping back against the wall with a soft thunk. “You’re gonna drive me insane, you know that?”

You bit back a laugh.

“So, should I…?” You trailed off, your eyes flicking pointedly to his crotch again.

“No,” he growled, his jaw clenching.

“Just trying to be helpful,” you murmured, smirking up at him.

“Helpful, my ass,” he muttered, but his gaze dropped to your lips, and his expression softened for just a split second.

You tilted your head slightly, your lips curving into a mischievous smile. “You sure you don’t want my help, Sergeant?”

His breath hitched again, and for a second, you thought he might actually say yes. But then he shook his head violently, squeezing his eyes shut.

“No,” he muttered, his voice rough. “No, I— We’re not doing this. Not here.”

You sighed dramatically, sitting back on your heels. “Fine. Suit yourself.”

Bucky let out a long, shaky breath, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “Thank you.”

“But you know…” You leaned in again, your breath ghosting over the front of his jeans as you looked up at him with a wicked grin. “If you change your mind—”

“Y/N!” he groaned, his voice breaking. “I swear to God, I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” You grinned, thoroughly enjoying his torment. “Push me away?”

“I—” He faltered, his gaze darting down to your lips and then back up to your eyes. “I—”

“Didn’t think so,” you murmured, pressing your tongue against your cheek one last time. He let out a tortured groan, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“You’re evil,” Bucky muttered, his voice low and rough.

“And you’re still hard,” you teased, eyes drifting down to the very obvious bulge in his jeans.

“Yeah, well, whose fault is that?” he shot back, his voice strained, his gaze boring down at you.

You shrugged, feigning innocence. “Guess you’ll just have to suffer, then.”

Bucky let out a long, tortured breath, his head falling back against the wall. His shoulders heaved as he struggled to keep himself under control. It was endearing, really—seeing the big, bad Winter Soldier at a loss for words, his composure unravelling inch by inch.

“I— I mean it, Y/N.” His voice was a mix of a plea and a warning now, and you felt a rush of satisfaction ripple through you. “Don’t… don’t mess with me like this.”

“Mess with you?” you murmured softly, leaning closer, the space between you narrowing. “Who said I was messing with you?”

He stilled, his jaw clenching as you brushed your cheek against the front of his jeans. You heard him suck in a breath, and when you tilted your head up to look at him, you saw the raw, unfiltered desire in his eyes.

“Doll…” He swallowed hard, his voice coming out rough and gravelly. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” you asked, lips curving into a slow, wicked smile. “Like I’m about to do this?”

Before he could fake his protest, you reached up, your fingers lightly tracing the outline of his length firmly through his jeans. Bucky let out a low groan, his hips jerking at the contact.

“Shit,” he hissed, his head falling back against the wall.

You hummed softly, applying more grip to the fabric. He was so thick and hard beneath the denim, and the heat of him seared through the fabric. You ran your thumb along his length, pressing against the tip slightly, and Bucky let out a ragged moan, his hips twitching again.

“Want more, Sergeant?” you murmured, looking up at him through your lashes. “Want me to touch you properly?”

“Jesus—Fuck, yes,” he groaned, his voice breathless, “Just do it.”

With your deft fingers you unbuckled his belt, unzipping his jeans, pulling down freeing him from the constraint of his clothing. He sprang free, thick and hard, the tip flushed and glistening. You wrapped your hand around him, though your hand couldn’t fully envelope him.

“God, you’re big,” you murmured softly, giving a slow stroke from base to tip. Bucky shuddered, a low, needy moan escaping his lips.

“Doll, I—” His voice was rough and breathless, his hands hovering at his sides, watching you. “Just like that. Nice and slow. I want to feel every inch of your hand.”

“Yeah? Does it feel good?” you murmured, gripping him with your other hand. You ran your thumb over the sensitive head, smearing the precum that had gathered there, and Bucky let out a ragged groan, his hips bucking involuntarily.

“Fuck, that’s it,” he growled, his hand sliding down to your chin, tilting your head up further. “Look up at me, doll. Want to see those eyes on me while you make me feel so fucking good.”

You stared up at him, your gaze locking onto his as your hands continued to pump his hardened length, your hand slick with precum as you moved faster, firmer. Bucky let out a choked moan, his hips thrusting into your grip as he lost himself in the sensation.

“Like that, Sergeant?” you asked softly, twisting your wrist at the end of each stroke. “You can’t even fit in my hands.”

“God, yes—” he muttered, “Your hand feels so fucking good. But you know what I really want?”

You raised an eyebrow, your lips parting slightly as you looked up at him. “What’s that, Sergeant?”

“I wanna feel that mouth on me,” He murmured, his thumb brushing over your lower lip before gently pressing it into your mouth, your eyes locked with his as you slowly wrapped your lips around his thumb, sucking it seductively, “I want to come into your mouth and you swallow every drop of me.”

“Mhm, yes please.” You moaned softly, your breath hitching as his words sent a rush of heat straight to your core, making you undeniably wet under your skirt.

“Yeah?�� he murmured, his voice dropping even lower. “You like that, huh? Like the idea of me using that pretty mouth? You gonna let me fuck that throat until it hurts, doll?”

“Hmm…” You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of him before pulling back, your gaze never leaving his. “Yes can you fuck my mouth good, Sergeant?”

“Holy shit—”

You leaned forward again, your lips brushing against his tip as you gave him a slow, teasing lick. Bucky’s hips jerked involuntarily again, as he was not expecting this, accidentally forcing his cock further into your mouth. You just smiled around him and worked on the head of his cock, the tip of your tongue tracing the grooves of the head of his penis. You slurped your way to the tip and suckled on the head for a minute, keeping him in your mouth as you nursed on it. You worked your way down to his balls, and took one and then the other in your mouth, and started the whole thing again.

You weren't even sucking him and he felt like he was about to scream.

“Fuck, that’s it,” he groaned, his voice strained. “Just like that…”

You took your time with him, lavishing attention on his tip with soft licks and teasing strokes of your tongue. Every time you flicked your tongue over that sensitive spot just beneath the head, Bucky let out a low, desperate sound, his body trembling with the effort of holding himself back.

“Y/N,” he groaned, his voice rough with need. “More… need more…”

You wrapped your lips around his tip, sucking gently as your hand continued to stroke his length. Bucky let out a choked moan, his fingers twitching in the air as if he was fighting the urge to grab you.

“God, you’re so fucking good at this,” he muttered, his head falling back against the wall. “. . . you’re gonna make me lose it—”

You glanced up at him, your eyes locking onto his as you slowly took him deeper into your mouth, your lips stretching around him. Your jaw widened and you pressed forward, letting him slide along your tongue. When Bucky hits the top of your throat, you paused.

His fingers itched to take the back of your head and shove his way inside, but he let you do this. You knew what he wanted, and he needed to see how far you would go to give it to him. You widen your thighs, changing the angle, and relax your throat muscles enough for him to slip in.

“That’s it,” Bucky crooned. “I will let you breathe in a moment. Eyes on me, baby.”

Your wide, almost panicked gaze met his and he saw the fear and determination. It made his dick pulse, and he gave a short thrust of his hips to tunnel deeper. You worked together for a few seconds until he was fully inside, exactly where he wanted to stay.

“Relax,” Bucky instructed. “Don’t pull off.”

Tears gathered and spilled over your lashes, the most beautiful sight Bucky’s ever seen. His cock filled your mouth and throat, your lips pressed to his pelvic bone.

“Swallow, Y/N.”

Your throat muscles worked, squeezing him, and he gasped. “Oh fuck,” He moaned, pulling back so you could take in air.

After a few seconds, he lifted a brow in question, asking silently if you were ready, and you nodded once. This time Bucky didn’t wait, unable to keep from grasping your head and ramming his cock in your throat. When he was as deep as he could go, he held there, loving the way you looked on your knees, suffering to make him feel good.

Bucky could feel the orgasm building, his balls growing tight and heavy, the need to empty his seed in your mouth. You saw it in his face, swallowing twice, then again, trying to force his come from his body, and the idea of it was so hot that he began roughly fucking your mouth.

Every third or fourth stroke went in your throat, and he was like a man possessed. It was so much better than he imagines, your sweet tongue rubbing the underside while your lips pulled to give him suction. Like you couldn’t wait to drink him down.

You let him set the pace, your eyes locked onto him as his movements become more erratic and desperate. His cock was sliding in and out of your mouth like an oiled piston, and the suction noises you created were squelching into the room. You held yourself steady, hands holding onto Bucky’s ass, while his hips moved faster, his grip tightening as he chased his release. His mouth hang open while ragged gasps escape past his lips and his moans filled the tiny closet, raw and needy and desperate.

“I am going to shoot all over your mouth,” Bucky panted.

You moaned in your throat as if you liked the idea, and the sound vibrated along his shaft. The thin threads of his self-control snapped and his balls sizzled with the impending orgasm. Pulling out of your mouth, Bucky fisted his cock as he aimed his spurting cock into your waiting mouth, thick jets erupted in pulses, his come pooling at the back of your mouth, coating your lips and chin. You sat patiently, taking it, letting him paint you with his release, and Bucky snarled in satisfaction, wishing he could drown you more in his come. When he finished it dripped off your chin and onto the floor.

“Fuck,” Bucky said, slumping against the wall. “I wish I could keep you like this. Just like this, baby. At my feet, covered in my come.”

Swallowing, you grinned, you licked your lips, tasting the thick mess. “Yum.”

Wiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb as you sit back on your heels. "Glad I could help, Sergeant," you murmured, your voice soft and teasing as you licked your lips, making sure to savour every last drop.

#a must read bc not only is it well written but it's genuinly so funnyand then the tone shifts ^^#reblog #writing #textpost #mcu #marvel #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut

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