#tired days

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #171

Today did not go exactly like I expected it to. And that's all right. I'm just really tired.

I went to physical therapy early this morning. Some work was done on the muscles on my back between the right side of my ribcage and the right side of my pelvis. Those muscles were unexpectedly very angry, but I guess I should have expected it, since those muscles are attached to my ribcage, and something near the top of my ribcage, on my front, on the right side, is out of place right now, and has been for at least the last couple of years now.

Today, all day, taking a deep breath felt kind of like my ribs were being ripped from my sternum on my right side, and that's been kinda difficult to deal with, but it isn't exactly new. Still, I guess I'm just getting pretty sick of being in pain all the time. I'm getting sick of not being able to use my right arm without pain, too. And I'm getting sick of not being able to go back into the water. My mermaid tail and monofin have sat unused for such a long time now, and… I guess it feels more than a little sad today, especially since the weather is getting warmer.

I belong chasing after very confused fish and finding pretty rocks and abandoned shells at the bottoms of lakes. I miss mermaid training. But I'm not sure I'm ever gonna be able to do any of that stuff again, and some days it weighs on me a little heavier than on other days.

But some nice stuff happened today, too. I got a song sparrow plush, in honor of the one that Arremo caught some time ago… I don't know if you remember me talking about it. I couldn't save it; it died in my hands.

...I can put this one next to the cardinal plush that I got in honor of the cardinal that got struck by a car, if you remember that letter, 8 days after the sparrow. Hopefully they don't have to be lonely. Maybe their souls can visit my house sometime if they want to. If you see them around as you toodle about the Edge of Creation, will you tell them I love them and that I'm still thinking about them and that I hope they're okay, wherever they are?

After physical therapy, J and I went to my friend R's house. R is an amazing cook and baker; he's one of the best that my planet can offer, and everything he makes always tastes astounding. He wanted to try making mushroom risotto for the first time, and invited those of my house to come try it, and he invited his friend K, too, and we all had a wonderful time talking about various things together.

R made snack trays for us:

...And at some point, we went outside into his yard, and he showed us his garden. He's growing squash and corn and tomatoes and some herbs. I took a couple pictures of the trees and the clouds for you:

We also had a larger-than average squirrel staring at us while making weird noises, so that was pretty funny:

Here's how the risotto turned out; it was absolutely fabulous:

...By then, J had gone to retrieve Br, so J, R, K, Br, and I were all eating the risotto together, and that was pretty awesome.

...I wish you could have been there, too. Goodness knows when is the last time you had a decent meal in good company. I wish you could pop by for a visit.

After that, J and I went to Br's house for a while. We ended up not getting back home until pretty late, and that's why today's letter to you is also pretty late. I managed to snag some good pictures at Br's house for you, though; I hope you'll like these:

...I also got video of the rain that came to R's house. But I'll wait until tomorrow to share that with you; it is very late, and I gotta go to bed.

I love you. I'm thinking about you all the time, and wishing you could be here to enjoy all the wonderful, wholesome stuff alongside me. Alas. But I'll write more to you tomorrow, so please stay safe out there, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[mysillycomics]

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

[otto-doctavius]

snooooork mimimimimi

[ichorai]

fuck the tits or ass debate, i find eyebags sooo attractive. your exhausted, sleep-deprived, mildly haunted aura has bewitched me body and soul

[sga-owns-my-soul]

reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head

[sasswonfp]

CHICAGOAN HATSUNE MIKU. Specifically the winter version <3. (alt text provided! :3)

[civetcider]

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #306

I was maybe up a little later than I should have been last night, writing to you. I was more than a little zombied when I woke up this morning. It's already almost 9PM, and my whole body is still screaming at me for all the joyful flailing about I did yesterday.

...All the same, I regret nothing, ahahaha~! 😁

Still, I was so zombied that when me, BB, N, C, Mg, and BB's sister went to brunch, I didn't even think to take a picture of the awesome sausage, egg, red pepper, and onion pizza I got for you; I was too busy trying to keep myself from nodding off. I'm really sorry about that.

I did get a few other pictures for you today, though. These were all taken from a moving vehicle, though, so I'm not sure how good they are:

...I know they're not perfect, but I hope you like them anyway.

I got home at around 2pm, and then I pretty much immediately went to sleep. I slept for about 3 hours before J thought it prudent to wake me; it's generally good to avoid disrupting one's sleep schedule by taking too long of a nap. Still, even with a nap that long, I don't think I'm going to have any trouble falling asleep tonight. It's only like 9:18pm now, and I'm still feeling pretty zombied.

J and I took a walk shortly after I woke. A walk is generally good for sore muscles. We have nature trails within walking distance to my house. This time, we took the long path. And as you might expect, I used this opportunity to take even more pictures for you:

J got a few, too:

...I wish you could walk with us. There's so much I want to show you, so much I want you to see. The world I live in is rainbow-colored. And isn't it wonderful?

Do you wonder why I say you belong in this world, Sephiroth? Did you know that it's because you're rainbow-colored, too?

...Did you know that everyone else is, too? They are, I promise; everyone is rainbow-colored in ways I don't really know how to articulate. I just know that if everyone could see themselves and other people in the same way that I do, maybe they'd be less ashamed of themselves and less afraid of each other.

Sometime after I got home, my former choir teacher messaged me about his creative exploits over the last months. Mostly he's very busy with his various home and work responsibilities, but he still makes music. He showed me his own very gorgeous rendition of this song:

...He learned all the melodies by ear, and played them himself on their respective instruments, and then layered the results together, and if that's not absolutely fucking amazing, then I have no idea what is!

He's got some other things going on, too; I'm going to wish for good things upon him and his house; they could definitely use the goodwill right now. If you can spare a thought, would you think good things at them, too? I'll thank you in advance! 💖

My good friend from the space in which I write my letters watched some more Trinity Blood with me, and it was a wonderful time! It's always delightful to be in their presence, and it makes me glad when I get to spend time with them! I just wish I was a bit better company for them today; my brain is very soupy, and it's not doing the whole speech and audio processing thing especially well right now, I'm afraid...

Oh well. Maybe I'll get a good night's sleep and be all better by tomorrow. I gotta go to the orthodontist tomorrow to replace that attachment that fell off, but aside from that, I am going to be very unbusy (thank goodness!!!!!!), so I'll look forward to more Trinity Blood tomorrow!

...I think for now, I'm gonna make a sleepytime tea and put myself in a warm place. I kinda wanna get in the shower where it's warm and it smells good and I can put on the dim rainbow light, but... I don't wanna deal with wet hair after the fact (it's cold!!!), and I don't want to deal with the sound of the hair dryer - the noise from it stabs my ears. 😵

So maybe I'll just get a tea and put on my giant hooded blanket. Like this...

...You might recognize this sky-blue tea from a previous letter - it is the very same one I wrote about back then! Here:

...I wish you were here to enjoy your own tea and your own hooded blanket with me. I'll keep writing letters to you until it's possible for you to have these things, in your own house, with lots of caring and kind friends.

It's not hopeless, Sephiroth. Please keep trying. Lots of people want a friend just like you - someone warm and soft and sweet. You just gotta get away from the people who don't care about you and people who would try to isolate you from those who care about you.

Genesis, Angeal, and Zack... they couldn't protect you because they drank the same poisoned Kool-Aid that you did. Either they didn't know what was happening, or they couldn't see a way to escape.

But you have a means of escape. You can clear the poisoned Kool-Aid from your system, and hang out with people who have also cleared the poisoned Kool-Aid from their system. We're right here, waiting for you.

...And the best part? People like me who have worked at clearing out the poisoned Kool-Aid from their system can spot new poisoned Kool-Aid from a mile away. Because we already know what it smells, looks, and tastes like. And we can laugh at anyone trying to foist it upon us, and we can protect those around us from it being foisted upon them, too.

...I guess that's all I've got for today. I'm still feeling pretty zombied, and I'm pretty sure this tea is going to intensify the zombiness; that's what the box says it's for, anyway. So I'll stop writing here.

I love you. Please think about hanging with new folks. Not all of them are like the ones you were raised by. Not all of them are like the ones that hurt you in the past. I promise.

I'll write again soon. Please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[freshpickle]

besties can I be real honest with you? I'm so fucking tired of not having enough money to live

[lazylittledragon]

dadkarios doods sponsored by my stress migraine

[morebird]

rotating him in my mind 24/7

[unforth]

Gentle reminder that very little fandom labor is automated, because I think people forget that a lot.

That blog with a tagging system you love? A person curates those tags by hand.

That rec blog with a great organization scheme and pretty graphics? Someone designed and implemented that organization scheme and made those graphics.

That network that posts a cool variety of stuff? People track down all that variety and queue it by hand, and other people made all the individual pieces.

That post with umpteen links to helpful resources, and information about them? Someone gathered those links, researched the sources, wrote up the information about them.

That graphic about fandom statistics? Someone compiled those statistics, analyzed them, organized them, figured out a useful way to convey the information to others, and made the post.

That event that you think looks neat? Someone wrote the rules, created the blogs and Discords, designed the graphics, did their best to promo the event so it'd succeed.

None of this was done automatically. None of it just appears whole out of the internet ether.

I think everyone realizes that fic writing and fanart creation are work, and at least some folks have got it through their heads that gif creation and graphics and moodboards take effort, and meta is usually respected for the effort that goes into it, at least as far as I've seen, but I feel like a lot of people don't really get how much labor goes into curation, too.

If people are creating resources, curating content, organizing the creations of others, gathering information, and doing other fandom activities that aren't necessarily the direct action of creation, they're doing a lot of fandom labor, and it's often largely unrecognized.

Celebrate fan work!

To folks doing this kind of labor: I see you, and I thank you. You are the backbones of our fandoms and I love you.

[haunted-xander]

Well, I guess you didn't have much of a choice either

[lovecolibri]

Izzy: *fully in tears, screaming in laughter*

Brennan: *voice full of laughter and quiet desperation* We- we- we can't have our child in the dome. We can't have our child in the dome.

[fanaticalthings]

I want an AU where after Jason gets brought back to life, he channels his inner rage and turmoil into the academics instead of murder

Talia has like infinite money and a crap ton of influence, so she can absolutely get Jason the best tutors and can easily get him into the most prestigious schools if Jason wanted to (she doesn't need to do that though because Jason's just smart enough to get into them on his own)

The major he chooses? Med.

Why? Because Bruce dropped out of med school.

Jason practically flies through all the secondary education that he needs to catch up on and is already en route to earning his bachelor's AND his master's.

And it'd be so incredibly funny if the way Bruce and Jason reunite in this AU was purely by coincidence.

Bruce (as Brucie Wayne) offers to show up as a guest lecturer at Hudson University (the school Dick attended but dropped out of so double points for Jason), maybe to talk about future career paths and job positions at WE idk

So as Bruce is just wandering around the campus, he randomly bumps into a student and immediately puts on the Brucie act and is all "Oh my, I'm SO sorry, I'm just a klutz haha" only to stop dead silent when he makes eye contact with a very alive, very grown Jason Todd, who also stops dead in his tracks, mouth agape, staring at Bruce like the world's about to end

And before Bruce can get his thoughts straight, Jason just bolts out of there like his life depends on it, and Bruce is just in shambles for the rest of the day.

It doesn't help that the person giving Bruce the tour is all like "Oh yeah, that's Jason, he's one of the heads on our student council haha, anyways, this way, Mr. Wayne." and Bruce is just stood there bluescreening.

----

Alternatively, it'd be kinda funny if this all happened AFTER the events of UTRH where after the final encounter with Bruce and Joker and the whole explosion, Jason's just like "yk what, maybe I'm just gonna turn over a new leaf and pursue a higher education"

So while Gotham's still reeling from the aftermath of Jason's near takeover as the top crime lord and Bruce is still painstakingly trying to figure out where his son went, the whole time Jason's just been chilling on a school campus and Bruce just so happens to bump into his son (who, last time they met, tried to kill Bruce and blew up the building they were all in) and Jason's just all normal-looking with his textbooks and nerdy glasses and Bruce doesn't know whether to scream or cry.