#i feel sick and im shocked so. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

realbeefman · 1 year ago

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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

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insufferablemod · 1 month ago

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#Ruining the semi normal sleep schedule I'd managed 2 keep going for like a week cus of paranoia 😎#This is ofcthe one time I'm like Actually fucking sleepy #I shocked myself earlier n am in a spiral about the whole “even a semi small shock can fuck up ur heart hours or days later” thing #Which idk if thats unreasonable paranoia or like normal n smart #The internet is 50/50 on it lol #Mom says im being paranoid. Called a like phone nurse about it who said it'd be smart 2 get it checked just 2 be safe #But it's late and doesn't feel serious enough for the er?#Also the er is hell. U just sit there for Hours waiting n then get looked at for 5 minutes told n2 wait even more n then told 2 just go hom #So I am just kinda... existing.. until stuff opens n I can hopefully see a doctor about it or something:)#And cus I was already feeling kinda sick Before the shock I can't be sure if I actually have any symptoms of something worrying #AAAAND my anxiety about the whole thing is making me over analyze every heartbeat or muscle twitch #N tricking my brain into believing shit that's not real #I wanna nap so bad but my brain won't let meee #Ok ramble is done... I just needed 2 get this out of my system somewhere...#Can u believe I use 2 think I didn't have anxiety?? I was all Oh yeah I'm Super chill 😎 while sirens played in my head 24/7 #rambles

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angelstrawbabie420 · 2 months ago

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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it

#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn #god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from #but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell #but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at #least become more resistant to it #i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE #and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless #it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19 #but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on #FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick #then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything #it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life #i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself #ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt #available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival #and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches #the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair #and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true #and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears #i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30 #it was all so sudden and quick and shocking #yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit #and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant #over this bullshit #it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies #everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS #it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm #it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.

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jadeoru · 2 months ago

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JADE???!!!???!!! HELLO ARE YOU OKAY WHAT

so i might have gotten into a little tiny car accident !

#logically my first reaction is to update tumblr!!#im okay !!#i think #im still in shock so i dont really feel anything #the worst part is they didnt play paramore in the ambulance #that was sick and twisted

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superbellsubways · 3 months ago

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flaviooooo 😭😭😭☹️

#thinking about him again is this a shock to anyone #i havent liked a character this way since spamton.i love spamton saur much too btw #my.girlfriends #im gonna be sick #i wanna hold them so bad 😭😭😭 I HATE ITHERE #sick in the head.for liking fictional characters #i visualized myself holding flavs face and i feel like throwing up #DUDE. I HAVE TO DIE #sorry im being cringe and talking about this to like 6k people #ialways hav to get my thoughts out #drawing isnt enough

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swagging-back-to · 29 days ago

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will forever feel horrible for the rabbit i was given at like six years old by my previous foster family.

the woman who adopted me forced me to put her in a small dog kennel with no bottom down in the basement with the light off. being 6 i was reasonably terrified to go down alone and did so rarely. she would just sit in shit and piss and old hay.

and then one day the woman who adopted me forced me to help her throw the kennel outside and when we came back later that day she was dead.

they buried her in a trash bag.

#i will always. always. always. feel so sorry for that rabbit.#especially now seeing how babied most rabbits are and knowing how much they thrive on attention and being pampered #that woman forced that rabbit to be neglected and abused and it makes me sick.#im so sorry sweetheart and you deserved so much better #people who give animals to young kids should genuinely be barred from owning animals because it's almost always #going to lead to neglect and abuse and they know this. this isnt some shocking thing. kids cannot care for animals and should not be #responsible for them. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT TYPE OF ANIMAL.#chances are any animal people think are low maintence and 'throwaway pets' are extremely complex.#it really makes me sick.

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koipalm · 1 month ago

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that fucking us spokesperson should be taken out back and shot like a dog

#im so fucking sick of the american administration im sorry #like i feel like this is such a shocking thing to say and then i think about the video bisan posted earlier w people blown to pieces #so. idk

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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...

#i feel like im building sandcastles with dry sand #im just. i dunno. im frustrated and tired and resentful of the fact that in order to recover u have to rest #bc i mean i haven't been like cough cough sick. my immune system was freaking thr fuck out for 10 days and i can feel the damage internally #like. i compulsively exercise and theres this feeling u get when u kno ur stressed and run down but u dont stop physically overextending #like u can feel the muscles start to tear and not heal. and thats how i started to feel last week #so its like i kno i need to rest but its like. u just had a 5 day weekend ur supposed to b refreshed for the end of the semester #but no. im just discouraged and tired. back to making dry sandcastles. shocking. when u feel bad its harder to function #lets see how this affects my ccaps score when i see my therapist Monday lol #itll b fine. just frustrating. im gonna meet with my advisor tomorrow and b like yo my ability to function had been severely limited in the #last week and a half. but yes im not ready to try reviving some new cultures. and hopefully i can autoclave at some point #i just feel like im being lazy and i hate it #the burdon of being ill of body and mind #unrelated

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kavehater · 7 months ago

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I don’t think the weird anxiety/panic will ever leave my tumblr experience🧍‍♀️

#idk like I feel like I’m in the worst place imaginable rn #dora daily #there are no words to appropriately explain how unimportant I feel on this site 🧎‍♀️not because of anything but like #bad things keep getting worse and I just don’t get it. im just so in shock like I don’t think I have it in me to be shocked anymore #this is my life forever #🧎‍♀️#actually im a liar when i said not because of anything #I mean it’s because of some things #specific things #that make me spiral #then those things make me think about existing things and I have no idea if im being reasonable or not but #it makes me doubt the legitimacy of literally everything else #I’ve had this level of anxiety for academics because it’s the only thing that truly ever mattered to me but not my social life becoming a #source of panic too 🧎‍♀️#I say this soooo much and im sick of saying it but idk why im always ignored or it feels that way most of the time #bla bla bla #I make so many mistakes when I feel that way like what if something else happens and we turn that 3 into a 4 #🥳🥳🥳#whenever I leave the house then I come home I have the most existential dread because I hate it here #I hate being on dumblr but as mitski said it best “you have so much to do and I have nothing ahead of me”#I’d just watch paint dry atp

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zeawesomebirdie · 1 year ago

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Only took a week and a half, but guess who finally actually feels sick with covid 😔✌️

#i should know by now that my specific flavour of chronic illness = a delay in symptoms #i *should know this* by now #ive only lived with it since 2016 #i shouldnt be this shocked #force i feel disgusting #jesus *fucking* christ this is so *stupid*#wait a moment #vent post #realised i probably ought to tag that...#but ugh #at least now i know what the strange 'new' fatigue ive been feeling is 🙄#and now i know why i cant seem to write #ughhhhhh #>:(#i swear im fine really i am #i just havent been *sick* sick since 2020 #completely forgot what it was like #i would take the worst of my usual symptoms over this *any* day of the week #blegh #my one consolation is that this means i can continue reading fic to my heart's content #and that i *dont* have to quote unquote go back to work #(work being. writing. and whatever else i usually do)#(nit that i had the cognitive function for any of that before this anyway.....)#ugh #okay thats all my complaining for the day thanks for listening #im sure ill be back to normal soon #in the meantime: im genuinely going to compile a superb@t rec list #not sure when exactly at this point in time #but soon #love yall

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aro-ortega · 1 year ago

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playing an openly attracted to ortega step who is also semi officially dating him as the puppet has made me assume that those two have had a conversation, however brief, about ortega dating them both at the same time.... so playing other routes/options and discovering that That Is Not The Case and ortega has not mentioned the puppet to step at all.. idk. rocks my world

#ik that the puppet is work for ortega.. but given how in love with/devoted to step ortega is. i am shocked that they would be willing to #to cheat on step all this time #i feel like i had nore to say but ive not slept in two days and im sick and exhausted. so you will have to forgive me #puppet #ortega #sidestep #fh #chargestep #op

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nexus-nebulae · 7 months ago

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brrrrr (/pos)