#i feel like this deserves to be a more general post too

[itertarot]

Tarot | You

Where should you live?

Close your eyes and take a deep breathe, listen to your intuition 🧞‍♂️

Pics in another post:

Pile One: Trigger Trauma/S.A

It seems like you know deep down in your heart where you should live. You must stay where your heart belongs, and for me, it is quite hard to say where it is that makes your heart feel calm and at home. A lot of you should live where you have roots and grew up, places connected to your family or loved ones. Most of you need a calm life, maybe even the countryside, a farm, or small villages. It won't apply to everyone, but some of you have had a really difficult childhood or past traumas regarding the place where you live that makes it very hard to stay there, even though you want to. I see it is very difficult to follow traditions that hurt you. I see here too that you could have had problems with a figure that was liked where you live, almost being an authority figure of some sort due to the influence they had on other people's lives. Unfortunately, some of you could have even suffered sexual violation, and I'm so sorry 😞.

Please, take a look into healing and therapy. Your feelings are valid, and I'm deeply sorry for any hardship you had to face. Know that you can heal and have an enjoyable life. Your heart is so beautiful and generous, you deserve the best in life. I see that most of you are going to stay in this place of yours, but you will change almost everything about it and give this place a new and happier meaning. You're very strong.

Pile Two:

You, my dear number 2, should live somewhere near the beach but with lots of buildings and stores where you could spend your money on nice things, some of you even luxury items. You need a city that’s alive, a city with great opportunities for jobs (especially corporate ones). You need a place that has the energy of a metropolis but also the peace of being able to run to the beach and enjoy a sunny day. It’s the perfect balance of excitement and tranquility for you!

Pile Three:

Hello, pile number three! For you, the reading came out a little differently because it suggests more places than the other two, so it won’t fit everyone. I could divide this group into three:

One: you need to live where is best for your career. I see a lot of lawyers in this pile, so you need a place that has plenty of opportunities and where you can find the best ones in your field.

Two: You need to live in a place that has a lot of commemorative dates, where the whole city comes together to celebrate something, many people celebrating as one. This makes me think of festivals like Carnival.

Three: Even though you seem to need to live in a bigger city, it doesn’t have to be overly metropolitan, just a place with a lot of job opportunities, like the other two groups. However, you also need peace, a place where you can feel calm and disconnected from the chaos of the outside world. Some of you may even have or will have a Pilates, yoga, or meditation studio. So cool!

Pile Four:

Welcome, pile number 4! You, my dear, have infinite possibilities. That’s because you are destined to marry and travel a lot with your future spouse. It doesn’t matter where you choose to have a house because you won’t stay there for long, you’ll be on the road often.

Some of you might move to another country or live far from where you are now. I see that many of you will have a beautiful home that you’ll build from scratch. To be honest, I don’t think this pile will buy a house, even if you do, you might end up demolishing it to create your dream home.

Your house will be everything you’ve ever wanted, with large windows offering a breathtaking view of the moon at night. It might be surrounded by trees or overlook stunning natural scenery. The city you live in could have a vibrant nightlife, plenty of fancy restaurants, and for some of you, it might even be a 24-hour city.

Pile Five:

Dear pile 5, you should live by the beach, in a very sunny place that hosts amazing concerts. The energy of this pile is young and adventurous, full of parties and fun! You need a lively, warm city where there’s always something happening and plenty to do.

Some of you might already know where this place is, but for some reason, it worries you. Maybe you fear you’ll never make it there, or you’re concerned about whether you can afford to live there. Some of you might even worry about safety or feel anxious because moving to such a place is a huge step.

Rio de Janeiro.

Pile Six:

My dear pile 6, you should live somewhere that feels ancient, a place that preserves its buildings through the years. It seems like a calm city with opportunities for professional growth, but it’s not the kind of place where work consumes your entire life. No! The work-life balance here appears much healthier, it’s not a fast-paced, overwhelming city.

For some of you, this city could have an old castle, while for others, it might feature a significant historic church.

[ckret2]

I don't know if anyone has asked this already, but I really really need to know if goldilocks is gonna have any romantic development between agent powers and Bill, where Bill does feel a certain thrill for the whole dating scene. I honestly had never thought of them as a pair before, but with your fic I'm genuinely in need of any content at all where there's a certain mutual romantic/sexual tension between the two, and I really wanna know if you plan on expanding a bit on it, because after all Billford is the endgame, but idk if this is gonna be a plot point where Ford experiences jealousy (bc I'd eat up that too, honestly, anything u write makes me a bit insane) or if the manipulation is as far as we're getting with these two. Thank you for writing!!!

I'm gonna stick this one under a read more since this is the kind of plot point I don't mind spoiling, but that some readers might not want to have spoiled.

EDIT: this sure is a hell of a post for tumblr's "move the read more down one paragraph before posting without telling you" bug to kick in. Fixed.

Powers is gonna pop back in and out of the plot for the rest of the fic, the fake dating will continue, and it's possible they might hook up more than once idk yet that's the kind of minor detail that's too far out for me to have plotted yet; but, the emotions are gonna be pretty much one-sided.

Bill does find a few things he actually likes about Powers (he appreciates a human who yearns to Solve The Mysteries), but in the grand scheme of things, it's like finding a gold watch in a parking lot. It doesn't make you wanna buy the whole parking lot. To Bill, Powers has more dealbreakers than positive traits. (Like... working for the government, for starters.)

And he'll be quite happy to hook up with him, but not due to any attraction to Powers himself; Bill's just turned on by other people being attracted to him. Powers is a warm body that offers Bill attention and physical pleasure, and 90% of the time attention & pleasure is all Bill wants out of people. (The other 10% of the time he wants a portal.)

So there's gonna be like... a cold-hearted femme fatale vs naive rival spy type dynamic here. There's some kinda tension, it gets steamy, but plot twist the femme fatale felt nothing for the spy the whole time. Except it's not a plot twist because we're following Bill's POV instead of Powers's so it's not a surprise.

Ford knows Bill too well to be jealous over somebody Bill's manipulating; and he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who gets jealous over physical intimacy. Bill could bang half the town and Ford wouldn't get jealous until he hears that Bill's been helping someone out on their quantum physics doctoral thesis. He maybe gets jealous over emotional intimacy, but he definitely gets jealous over intellectual intimacy.

(Like,, the one time in the fic so far that he's gotten jealous—not even in a romantic sense, just in general!—is when he saw Bill playing chess with Mabel. Bill playing chess with a kid gets Ford more jealous than Bill banging an utterly smitten suitor and that tells you everything you need to know about Ford's priorities.)

If anything, he actually pities Powers because he knows the guy's getting used and doesn't deserve it.

There is someone else later on that Ford might be getting jealous of (depending on what order events end up happening in—i.e., whether it's still going on AND whether Ford knows about it once his emotions start to turn), but that character hasn't been introduced yet.

There's also someone Bill might be getting jealous of depending on whether I find a way to work them into the plot. I hope I do, I've got a couple killer scenes in mind for them.

[sleepypanda01]

CB theories/Thoughts part 6 (Is Nox cursed or punished?)

the crack theory of @lonelylilspider06 about Buddy being the thief key made me look back to some other theories I had in mind that I didn't post since I felt they were too much of a stretch but theorising is fun so here we are. 

I think most of us have seen the theory of Nox being a key is the result of a punishment or a curse and this made me think. What is ex libris? We know it is an organisation that created the keys in order to extract a substance from books that allows them to make a wish. But what does Ex Libris mean? It is basically a bookplate but what's interesting is that bookplates replaced book curses that were used to prevent book theft.

As the original poster pointed out,Nox has stolen quite a few times during the story and it is possible he has done it behind the scenes too. As stated in previous parts,Nox has a tendency to project his feelings onto Chase and he has accused him at least twice of stealing Silver and Bronze. The truth is that Chase found those keys and Nox should know it since they didn't used to be in his possession and they are suddenly missing. What if in the past Nox has stolen a key or/and a book for a personal reason and was punished through a curse for it? The official art of him suggests that he used to have someone close to him so maybe he wanted to help that person,but got himself into trouble. 

It would explain his reaction to Chase's comment back in the beach boys arc. Maybe the old man makes him believe he deserves this kind of punishment for taking something that wasn't his to use.

However, what is interesting is that Nox hints on not trusting humans in general and not just a certain one.

This could mean he faced a severe betrayal or has been mistreated by people more than once. 

The fandom has speculated before that we might get a second name reveal since Nox doesn't sound like a very human name. It is possible that "Nox" is the name that was given to him after turning into a key,but he doesn't seem to have any problem with Violet using that name. If he had another name as a human I think he would prefer it if Violet addressed him using that(or maybe he is losing memories of his human days). Unless,Nox is actually his only name and he was always destined to turn into a key. If someone who raised him or looked after him turned out to be using him for personal reasons,it would make sense that Nox struggles with trusting others and it explains why he seems to separate himself from other humans and associates himself more with keys. Also,if we accept the theory that Nox was always meant to turn into a key to replace another key,it makes me think of how long the keys have been missing. As stated in previous parts, Goldie and Bronze were covered in dirt and had their keyrings on unlike Silver, which indicates that some keys haven't been used in a long time. Nox could be around 17-20 years old so that could possibly mean that some keys have been missing for over ten years? I doubt someone would give birth to kids to replace keys,I assume that Nox used to be an orphan taken in and raised by someone that has relations to magic and the keys (not sure if it is ex libris though cause I feel that either ex libris is not active or that Nox is not being kept by them. I think it is another organisation or that ex libris has changed its methods over the years,or someone else took over,which further suggests that some keys have been missing for quite a long time if they are not aware of the changes occurring within the organisation). 

Lastly, when Nox confronted Chase for the first time he told him ‘’it’s your funeral ’’this could have many meanings that we don’t know the details of as we don’t have much insight on Nox’s circumstances, but if there are curses connected to the keys and ex libris maybe Nox was hinting on a curse falling on Chase for using Silver.

 @squeer-el made once a theory of Chase and Deacon turning into  keys, so what if they are turned once they gather enough narratonin? Nox can not turn into a key as he is already one. But this raises further questions, if using the keys is dangerous does that mean that other than Nox possibly stealing the narratonin, he is also guilty for not letting Chase know that he is also in danger of getting cursed?

Overall, I don’t know where I am going with this,but it was fun to write so why not go ahead and post it? lol let me know what you guys think and as always thank you for reading ❣

Bonus detail: A book curse ( which was replaced by bookplates that are ex lirbis) usually invoked threat of excommunication or anathema, which is a funny detail because the page that Chase found with Silver has the song lyrics of a greek song called ‘’anathema se’’. Punko has confirmed that the lyrics were random text she found so they did not mean anything, but it is a funny coincidence…unless it is not👀 //jk

[obstinaterixatrix]

Fashionable and upbeat high schooler Aya loves listening to rock, but no one else seems to share her interest…until she meets a cool, stylish employee at a CD shop. Dressed in black from head to toe, he has this air of mystery about him, and his taste in music is impeccable. Aya falls hard for him—not knowing her crush is actually her female classmate Mitsuki! For her part, Mitsuki generally keeps to herself and avoids standing out at school. But given that she sits right next to Aya, Mitsuki’s all too aware of the other girl’s feelings, and she’s afraid to reveal the truth. So why does she find herself talking with Aya more and more…?

happy femslash february, since this series got ✨licensed✨ last year I’m remaking my rec post with ✨licensed✨ excerpts. (also, kinokuniya has an exclusive cover variant~)

here’s an ongoing series about high school gals who LOVE dadrock. this feels like a bit of a cheap rec because of how successful it already is, but for anyone who’s been on the fence about trying it out: the hype is deserved.

1) the art is phenomenal, the use of color has a really sleek look; 2) the artist did really well working within twitter’s 4 image limit, each chunk has a solid hook and a solid end while keeping a good sense of continuity; 3) as someone from the states, it is SO funny seeing these japanese teenagers going like ‘nobody understands me because I like foo fighters and areosmith’ and it’s kinda true because they’re japanese teenagers in the 2020s

also, I really like the pacing—the Secret Identity aspect is used for a solid amount of drama without being overused imo. then, when they’re able to engage more honestly with each other, there’s still a lot they need to work through. it’s good slice of life romance for folks who like that vibe.

[sir-malk]

♠︎♥︎◆♣︎Cosmos Cat Revamp♣︎◆♥︎♠︎

Would you like to experience a never-ending dream? To get whatever you desire and to play for however long you'd like, doesn't that sound better than being awake?

This Plushie Cookie definitely thinks so! As the old forgotten plushie of the Legendary Milkyway, Cosmos Cat Cookie's biggest dream is to find her playmate who will never ever leave her nor forget her! Won't you leave reality and come play with her? Even if it is forever...?

♠︎♥︎◆♣︎(about the design and stuff below)♣︎◆♥︎♠︎

I usually don't explain my designs in detail, but because this oc is very important to me and had many rewrites and redesigns, I think she deserves it!

♠︎ Flavor and base concept

Cosmos Cat Cookie is based on a Cosmos brownie! Not only is it a nostalgic and childish food to me, but this was also to make her have a connection with Milky Way Cookie, both having a connection to something extraterrestrial and massive despite being small and little!

In a lot of ways, Cosmos Cat is supposed to be a direct opposite to Milky Way cookie! Her being a cat is supposed to be a nod to how Milky Way Cookie is often compared to Sanrio's Cinnamon Roll, like a black cat is to a white dog.

In general, Cosmos cat being connected to Milky Way Cookie (and Moonlight cookies Milky way costume) is very important to her as a character and her story. It's not cause Milky Way is my favorite character, TRUST ME.

♥︎ Outfit and Aesthetics

Cosmos Cat Cookie, and by extension, everything around her is heavily based on Alice and Wonderland and Yumekawaii aesthetics, giving off a nonsensical yet soft and comforting feeling! Like a dream!

Her character and the places around her are also slightly based on the Creepy Cute aesthetic, a little bit of nightmare fuel. Only a little, though! Wouldn't wanna scare the kids TOO soon.

Cosmos Cat Cookie's outfit is based on clowns and ring leaders, As a toy, she's made for entertainment! But in her own realm, she does have control! The rainbow candies on her hat and everywhere else are dulled down slightly compared to an actual Cosmos brownie for the more soft and dreamy feeling.

◆ Main inspirations

A lot of these inspirations may not be fully obvious, but all of these were important to building her character and story to where it is now

The list goes:

My irl cat

Coraline the movie

The story of pandoras box

Universe cat drowning by kikuo

Missing Missing by Kikuo

Kyubey from madoka magica

The entire basis around dreamcore, limital spaces, and Yumekawaii

Milky Way cookie from cookie run

Foxglove cookie (An old scrapped cookie run oc)

Maromi from paranoia agent

basic horror tropes centered around toys

and my own struggles with maladaptive daydreaming disorder and memory issues

I would explain each one of these, but this section is already big because it's a list.

♣︎ Extra stuff/fun facts

These are just little fun facts that'll probably come up in later posts as a joke or little comic, not too important!

Each one of the rainbow candies on her hat, tail, and paw are actually eyes, it's not too obvious because of the cookie run artsyle, but they do noticeably have the white outline like most cookie eyes do!

Her wand is like a cat toy. She often ends up playing with it like one, too! This usually leads up to her casting dreams and nightmares all over the place...

Cosmos cat Cookie can change her form! She usually sticks to a small cat (Her plushie form) or a slightly more cookie shaped child (Her dream form). These changes can only happen in the dream world. To those who are awake, she's just a plushie all the time!

All of that, and it's only about the design... Don't EVER let me get into her lore, personality, or main story.

you made it to the end, tho! You get a Cosmos brownie for your struggles!

♠︎♥︎◆♣︎HEY. HEY, JUST TAKE ONE. NO♠︎♥︎◆♣︎

[o4o41]

Warning not tagged to the original creator.

Only brainstorming under this post.

Interesting.

I am dividing this character into Mona and Ira. Typical.

This could be a pre-story of Mona. (Sorry can't remember the word when my typing is making sounds 😩). Now look how I mesh my previous HC into something interesting and new.

In the previous drawing they could've studied together or solving detective tasks on paper from the Sociology subject. For the mind-training.

You can make up how he got a soft spot for a human. Even though he is prejudiced and skeptical with them.

Her body type can be like for Sailor Jupiter (big lady). This take would be different as R is liking a human (likely pink themed, red too, some flowers). Yes he is skeptical to human relationships and all. She feels like a MJ to Spiderman (him going back to her after a rough day and all, except MJ bland like). Mutation or not, they won't work if R isn't emotionally intelligent and nuanced (supportive speech is, like, a nessesity, a confidence boost). MM or Tales will keep her as a human. Maybe a few jokes or dreams or hallucinations that she's a tmnt, she's dressed like R too. (Maybe Leo hallucinating the same idk).

In another version she would become one. She has a high alert (like maybe Penelopie from Looney toones). As opposed to old criticism to her, she is not a Mary Sue (overrated female-attacking word), maybe she jumped high and could swim but she is a mutant and who knows is an athlete: she fails, she cries and she is something else, and the body she/everyone knew and basically everything drastically changed.

She will be involved in that of the "FEMS" lore of mine (i.e. I've connected "Leos", "Mikeys", "Aprils" and it is now FEMS' turn. *Folow my "tmnt" tag for more details*) , discover and orientate in her new identity. Maybe this will be like Shrek and Shrek 2 story btw, like rom-com-wise.

________________________________________

Ira on the other hand is curious and attentive. She has a good relation with Tim and is protective of him when needed. She is confident, secure and likes to a little joke on ones who looks more likely they deserve that (Next Mutation and tmnt 1987 tmnt joked and mocked their villains and made mean nicknames). Rise Leo could say that she is special and superrior but there is no rise, maybe Rodd would say that she looks cool (a little irony because he has no job and where did he got that much confidence from, is it a facade or he heard someone say that from somewhere). I thought that she would have Makoto (Sailor Jupiter) body type. All in all if you have some female or general anatomical diversification it would look better. As April will not be the only one changed (plus size, african-american, glasses, freckles, height, red hair). No shade to, Barbie she was great playing, later her movies were amazing 😊. You know what I mean when you don't need to follow template of simply just one body type. She could have Sailor Scout's power though and the shooting and self-defence too. She can have some of the sick self-defence life-hacks with her surely. (That way she could also join FEMS lore and analysis for FEMS).

Now you have done It! More Irma and Raph PLEASE!!!

And you shall receive 🫡

Bro is smitten

[turtleblogatlast]

Shockingly underrated thing about Leo is that he’s legitimately charming when he wants to be?

He’s the Faceman! He’s persuasive! That’s not just some random title he gave himself with no backing to it. People will listen to him. Even if they think he’s being annoying or if they’re upset at him, people listen to him anyway! There’s a reason his bros push him out front to talk to people, and when this happens, that talking nearly always works.

Moreover, Leo knows people. He looks at them and takes into account how they act and what they’re like as he makes his way through the conversations. It’s easy to forget this aspect of Leo’s character because he only brings it out when he really needs (read: wants) to, but it really is a notable part of him that always love to see.

And I say charm in particular because he has a knack for not only getting people to pay attention, but for getting people to stay and listen to what he has to say.

[dykedvonte]

love seeing your takes on mouthwashing and how sane they are. everything's so black or white. I like how you acknowledge curlys abuse under jimmy (which I honestly didn't quite notice when I first watched a playthrough. should rewatch w this in mind) and how that very much doesn't "forgive" his inaction towards Anya and Her abuse under jimmy. I think what happens to him despite all his issues (bc he clearly wasn't OK 😊✌🏼) is very much karmic. I really did hurt huh

I hate the take that what happened to him is karmic as becoming disabled and being tortured is like not in any way an equal consequence for not taking more action against Jimmy. It is a consequence as is the whole game for everyone but it’s one that is very much established as being undeserved and extreme as everyone else’s but Jimmy’s fate.

Thank you for liking my takes but I also try to point out that this exact sort of framing of the events and what happened to Curly is bad especially if you are gonna factor in his own abuse into the equation of his inaction/ineffective acts. It’s like “saying yeah he deserved the abuse he was already going through to escalate because he didn’t do enough” which is like not a message the game tries to deliver at all. It’s like the game shows that abusers escalate

Karma and punishment are not concepts that I think should be directly tied to Curly’s fate especially since during the game and even in discussion he takes on too many consequences of someone else’s actions. Like this framing is the direct thing I describe taking the discussion away from Jimmy, P.E and the factors that created the environment in the first place.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why

the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and “dodging consequences” dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.

ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, he’s been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapper’s footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). He’s got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.

The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings he’s made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.

People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.

he is NOT a moral character. he’s a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. he’ll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences

[vehemourn]

went to post this on twitter but i didnt wanna get banned . crazy that u can scrape my entire lifes work and i cant even tell u to die over it <3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

trying to say things about the bsol finale & how it has these little twists about what you don't necessarily expect for these roles but would you believe it i'm like i can't use my [just saying some shit] ability i'm pressed about wanting it to be more coherent & verbalizing doesn't even really happen if i don't have the [just saying some shit] wind in my sails But trying to say One Thing, how about the little twist like the miracle banana gets being that he himself lives, vs his emotional resolution that he would have died to help the musician, even as the musician is like no bestie you're good, even as the audience may expect & approve of even dying from funny little second banana guy who may even be supposedly taken as Superfluous now that thee man & thee woman have reunited (but it was always queerer than that) like. more resolution to our themes that that very second banana is doing just fine vs that the hero is, more classic iconisiquisms

[yanderespamton78]

when a regretevator headcanon pisses you off so much that you become a feminist

[funeralfire]

I've legitimately been thinking a lot about trans women lately and like the women I know in my life and how complex and human and real they are. Specifically because I understand the world is not kind to trans women and likes to generalize them horribly.

I know a woman who's an artist and spending her time dreaming about stars. I know another woman who's a terrible friend and manipulative as hell. I know one who's shy and sweet and so intelligent. Trans women can be so many things 💖

I really care deeply about trans women and I hope in my friend groups I'm a good ally to them and know to stand up vocally for them. Trans women deserve so much and they're given not enough. Everyone can do something to stop transphobia by speaking up when they hear it. Don't let your friends make transphobic jokes. Don't let your dad regurgitate trump's words. Protect the trans women in your life and everywhere else, they need to be loved and respected. Mwah! 🥰

[imbeingtauntedbyachild]

Alicia explorations and an attempt at project sekais 2d models

[bleu-sang]

I wish I had someone to talk about how much amatonormativity traumatized me

Not only when I was a kid and grew up scared that my parents would abandon me because people would keep asking me if they "started a new life" but didn't get it was romantically speaking and really thought they were gonna leave town and forget about me

Or not just because as a teen everyone started dating and caring about romantic shits that I couldn't understand and I felt this suffocating pressure that I had to become like them if I wanted to be accepted/normal

But mostly because I am terrified to be seen as an object that can be used and discarded without my consent because I "just don't know" what I'm "missing out" or I "just didn't find the right person yet" or I "just had bad experiences and need to get over it with someone new"

The only message I seem to get from amatonormativity is that my life is worthless if I don't have someone to share it with (romantically & sexually) and that romance and sex can be forced upon me if I don't act like I want them

And it's so scary. It's so so scary.

To know that my life has no value and that I deserve to experience traumatic stuffs to "cure" me

To know that anyone could want that from me and that it wouldn't be acceptable to say "no" because my body is disposable and belongs more to others than it does to me since I just "don't know" that I want to say "yes" yet

And all I'm left with is a bunch of trust issues because anyone I meet could turn on me at any moment and it would be socially acceptable.

Anyone could discard me to "start a new life" with someone that want the same things as them (romance and sex)

Anyone I meet could hit on me and ask stuffs from me that I cannot give them and I would almost always be the bad guy for rejecting them and I know that they could force me and that I wouldn't be taken seriously if anything happened

I don't know, maybe it's just the invisible poc aroace trans neurodivergent otherkin fem-looking ghost in me who's too used to be not acknowledged talking but I think something is deeply wrong with this society and I will not feel safe until it's done right.

[fvckednddistvrbed]

i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad