#i feel like it would be on tumblr more if you lot did know

[alpaca-clouds]

BG3 fans, we gotta talk CPTSD

Okay, I have spend about a week considering writing this blog, but I really gotta say, that it is something people really need to understand. See, I mostly see this issue with Astarion and his depiction in fandom. However, I would argue that it is a thing that affects literally all characters that play some sort of bigger in this entire game. Including many NPCs.

But let me start with Astarion. See, I wrote the blog two weeks ago about people being judgy on people, who do not want to have graveyard sex with him. Mostly people will argue how Astarion should be allowed to have his agency in that moment - while I argued that whoever the player is playing should have also agency in that scene. Including the agency to say "no" for whatever reason. I also included that my Tav absolutely denied Astarion, because he was not trusting that Astarion in the scene really was ready for it, for a variety of reasons. Which is very much a valid reason for someone not to want to sleep with someone else. (Literally every reason is a good reason for that, mind you.)

And obviously there came the comment, that went basically: "As someone who was raped I am very appalled by you saying that raped people cannot consent." Which is very much not what I said.

What I said was, that my Tav did not consent. Yes, he did not consent because he thought Astarion was not ready for it - but he is the one not consenting. It does not matter for this whether his assumption about Astarion is true or not. Tav does not feel comfortable in the scene, so Tav does not want sex right there.

However... If you consider the drow orgy scene, Tav is also very much right. If you do that scene after defeating Cazador, Astarion is enthusiastically consenting to that orgy, but he still ends up dissociating during the scene. (And in that scene, even if your character notices it, you cannot go "Stop!" Which I hate.)

Here is the thing. If you are in the BDSM scene, you might actually have encountered a scenario in real life where someone was enthusiastically consenting to something - only to them realize, that they were not into it at all. And people can withdraw their consent IRL at this point. Only that in this game, obviously you can't. So within the game choices I will just start out with "no" for this character.

Still, that is actually not what I mainly wanted to talk about. No.

What I wanted to talk about is the other thing. I absolutely know that for a variety of reasons a lot of SA survivors do identify with Astarion, and I do not want to take that from anyone. I think it is amazing that we got a character with whom we see this issue portrayed seriously. And let's face it. Especially in tumblr fandom circles, we will have a lot of SA survivors, because the userbase of this website is majority afab, and many are queer. And we know from statistics that queer afab people are even more likely than non-queer afab people to experience SA at some point in there life. So, yes, Astarion is going to be embraced by this community makes sense - even without his dashing looks.

But here we get to the actual meat of the issue: Astarion was not just raped. Astarion was abused in a variety of ways - some of them sexual - over the course of 200 years. He went not through a single traumatic event, but an ongoing trauma that, again, lasted for 200 years.

Or to put different: Astarion does not have PTSD. He has C-PTSD. Complex trauma. The kind of trauma that develops when the trauma lasts over a long, long time, without the survivor getting a chance to ever really properly ever relax. Something that was very true for Astarion's time under Cazador. He was under constant threat of rape, torture, and other forms of violence.

While CPTSD is a form of PTSD, it has some differing symptoms - and additional symptoms from plain old PTSD.

I found this graphic on this blog here, and found it fairly good in the depictions. (If you google CPTSD you will find several graphics like this.) It shows very well the additional symptoms, compared to normal trauma.

Generally speaking, CPTSD brings a lot stronger issues with self-worth, interpersonal problems, and emotional regulation. CPTSD folks are often prone to emotional outbursts (this graphic names anger, but technically it can be all other kinds of emotional outbursts - which is why at times CPTSD gets confused with BPD).

And Astarion is written like this. He shows very much all the symptoms of CPTSD. And let's be honest: That is an issue he will have to deal with for a long, long while.

But... As I said, the same is actually true for pretty much all the characters.

If you look at the companions, it is obvious.

Gale spent at least a year in constant fear of blowing up. While Mystra's abusiveness towards him within the relationship prior the orb is more fanon than canon (though the relationship was defnitely not an easy one), the "one year in constant fear of death" is very likely going to instill some form of CPTSD in him.

Karlach was a slave for 10 years, forced to fight in the hells. While she will also probably suffer from certain forms of PTSD more common in soldiers. Additionally I would argue that she also has some CPTSD from tiefling-racism. While she does not bring it up often... She does seem to have a thing there.

With Wyll it is a bit more complicated. Yes, for him I would see the kind of CPTSD I have - parental abuse related. Ulder was not openly abusive, but neither was my mother, and guess what fucked me most up in my childhood, despite experiencing some really bad violence elsewhere.

Shadowheart was abused by Viconia and midwashed and tortured and was forced to kill her fucking pet mouse. Bonus points that a lot of it happened during her childhood. She very much is gonna suffer the consequences.

Lae'zel... Do I really need to say something about her upbringing among the Gith?

Then we have Halsin. We know fairly little about his background, given that he is very coy in talking about it. But his "three years as a drow slave" definitely make it likely that he has developed some form of CPTSD.

And then we have Jaheira and Minsc. For whom just the... Well, look folks, the adventuring lifestyle would logically also leave you with CPTSD of some sort.

Even if you play a Tav who entered the game after having a very untraumatic life... They will spent what has to be at least two months with a tadpole in their head threatening to kill them - while half of Baldur's Gate is trying to do the same. They'll have PTSD after this at the very least, if not CPTSD. (Even though, let's face it, chances are we all gave our Tavs more than enough background trauma to go along with it, right?)

And same goes for so many other characters. The tiefling refugees. Our main villains (especially Gortash and Orin). Cazador. The other vampire spawn (duh). The list goes on.

So, what am I trying to say here?

Well, for once I just want to make sure folks understand that CPTSD is a thing that exists and while being similar to normal PTSD differs in some points. Including the fact that people with CPTSD have a high likelihood to make very rash decisions driven by instable emotional states, that might be harmful to them on the long run.

And mind you. In real life most people with CPTSD have it because either they were bullied for a long time, or were in an abusive relationship of some sort. (Abusive parents, abusive partners, abusive friends/roommates.) But even in those heightened scenarios the game represents for the most part - the issues are gonna be still mainly the same.

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Hello :D

I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!

I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,

Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!

hello. oh my god. this took forever to find. im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is

my fall 2024 rendering tutorial! (this will be very very long)

FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering

i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush

FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!

my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals. it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.

one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.

contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔

okay so basically: contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.

shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark. BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.

it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself

YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense

so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing

adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky

the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer

around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol

adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol

i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.

i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)

i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol

make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you

this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead

i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.

the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer! the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol

if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only), i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps. there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.

personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me

then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)

as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)

i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way. you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!

along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes. don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!

now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is

THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared. like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different. on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.

don't be afraid to paint over your old art. rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless. find your balance and just go for it.

and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)

if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment. particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them) but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.

rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.

it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker. it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!

i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)

have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!

[chaggiehearts]

I'm gonna be brutally honest: I think it'd be far more satisfying to watch Lute redeeming herself than dying as a villain.

I know a large part of the fandom hates her (although thankfully most people here on Tumblr don't) and I'm not gonna act like I don't understand why. She's a sadistic genocidal woman who won't hesitate to hurt everyone that goes against her corrupted morality. Even outside the series, her words and beliefs might remind a lot of viewers of extremist Christians, and since a lot of us are LGBT we might be reminded of ugly things we've been told in the past (I'll admit that even though I don't interpret that scene as her being homophobic, the "Their love is vile and blasphemous" comment might hurt me if I watch that scene when I'm feeling too sensitive). Lute is clearly not a good person and the series doesn't try to hide this fact at all, specially given her fixation with hurting/mutilating/killing Vaggie. Even though she's my 3rd fave character, I admit that she kinda sucks as a person.

However, I think that all the arguments on why she's irredeemable fail to be convincing once you take something into account: Lute is the Vaggie that never left her Exorcist position.

Their characters are clearly parallels and meant to be narrative foils. Vaggie is what Lute could turn out to be if she admitted she's wrong. Vaggie is my favorite character but I can't deny that before her fall she was despicable too. We know that at the very least she killed 2,000 sinners (going by the "thousandS of Sinners" comment) and I highly doubt the actual amount is that low given the number of Sinners killed by Lute during last Extermination. My personal headcanon is that it's around 10,000-15,000, but we don't know, at least not yet. Vaggie WASN'T a good person, even if she had doubts from the very beginning (which we don't even know if it's true, let's be real here) she still did horrible things. She took part in the Exterminations and, according to Adam, she was one of the most efficient Exorcists (perhaps second only to Lute herself). This is why I adore the dynamic between them, because the mutual hatred comes from the rejection of certain ideals: Vaggie hates what she used to be in the past, which is represented by Lute, a perfect reflection of who she used to be, and Lute hates the idea that Exterminations might be wrong, that she might be wrong, that her entire worldview might be flawed, which is represented by Vaggie.

If Vaggie was able to redeem herself, if we can collectively agree that she regretted her actions and improved as a person, if we can understand that Hazbin's concept is that EVERYONE can be redeemed, even the worst villains, even the nastiest individuals, if we can see that the structure of the Exorcists greatly resembles a sect (I will analyze this better another day, but they're literally a patriarchal sect in which one has to adhere to all of their leader's beliefs and not doing so will result in abandonment, punishment and isolation from your entire circle), isn't it logical to think that Lute might reach the same conclusions as Vaggie one day? Why would Vaggie deserve compassion and forgiveness and a new life and not someone who's overall very similar to her? As I said before, yes, I do understand why people hate Lute more than Vaggie, specially given what she did to her, one of the protagonists, but they're not that different at all. The issue is that we've only seen evil Lute and good Vaggie so far, but the series might explore other aspects of their characters. Hazbin Hotel criticizes the black-and-white mentality of Heaven, Lute's very mentality that has led to what she is right now. Putting Vaggie in one end of a morality scale and Lute in the other is imho a flawed interpretation. They're both in a gray place, they're both complex people.

Lute is going to do horrible things in the future and, if I'm allowed to speculate, I heavily believe she's going to be worse than what Adam ever had the chance to be, way worse than Vaggie ever was. After losing Adam, revenge will probably make her go from evil to downright monster. And honestly, I want to see that fall, that corruption arc (does it count as a corruption arc when the character was already corrupted from the beginning?). I want Lute to metaphorically fall into the darkest pits of Hell. And you know what? I want her to get up after that, start a new life just like what Vaggie did. I think Lute searching for redemption would be a great test on Charlie's ideals, because she probably wouldn't be too enthusiastic about this idea (since her body language in Episode 8 clearly shows that she knows about what Lute did to Vaggie, her role in Vaggie's fall). I think something beautiful might come out of something like this happening. Charlie realizing that she doesn't have to personally empathize with someone to help them become a better person (and the whole concept of redemption being proven right because if someone like Lute can do it then literally anyone can), Lute seeing the error of her ways, growing and searching for the light she lost in the shadows and Vaggie empathizing with one of the residents in a deeper level. Even though Lute doesn't deserve Vaggie's forgiveness, I'd love to see Vaggie extending that forgiveness to her and seeing her past self in Lute, but this time not the merciless Exorcist Vaggie that she hates, but the hurt, lost and scared Vaggie that had just arrived in Hell after her worldview had been flipped entirely. If these two made amends, I think we would be able to see a very sweet new side of Vaggie, because even though she'd love to help Angel Dust, Husk, Cherri Bomb... She'll never fully get how they ended up down there. But she would get Lute, she'd understand how addictive bad actions can be for an Exorcist, the search for purpose and acknowledgement from Adam, the self-righteousness. If there's anyone in that hotel that would know what it's like to be an Exorcist that regrets her actions, that's Vaggie.

In the end, the only thing I'm sure of at the moment is that Lute's story is far from over. Things could go either way and redemption is a viable path for her. Who knows, maybe she'll do something so extremely evil in the future that I lose my faith in her ability to change after that, but for now I'm still holding onto that hope :)

[idontliekmondays]

excerpts from lindsay's old classmate

1.28.13 I have really tried to like Lilith but after two weeks with her I can't. My thinking on it is she hasn't given a reason to like her. It's more like she tries to complain, storm off, be rude, and ignore the rest of us as much as she can. Her special skill is that she can walk anywhere in high heels.

2.05.13 Lilith did not get any roti because she decided to stay in her room the whole day.

Dance lessons. And a full shot of me in uniform. Thai dancing does not require a lot of movement so it can be done in a pencil skirt. Left side, front to back: Deanna, Me, Donna, Lilith. Right side: Dance teacher, Karen.

2.07.13 (I have mentioned before that Lilith gets motion sick. So today instead of getting in the front seat like she's supposed to she climbed in the back of the songthaew with everyone else. The whole time I'm praying in my head "Don't throw up everywhere, don't throw up everywhere" because she started looking sick about half-way through the trip back. I really do not understand her logic).

Drexler is forcing Lilith to go to yoga or meditation (it's so nice she's paying all this money to go to another country to sit in her room on the computer all day.)

2.08.13 More creepy messages from Lilith's talking horse doodle today. She told us that she gets all these from a tumblr account called Crazy Horse(?). I also don't think she gets what all of them mean, because the horse's first message today was "Pumpkin Jokes.PDF". Really confused on that one. She erased that and had the horse say "Becoming a bounty hunter is not easy but I am here." I can see these two coming from a tumblr account, though they make zero sense to me. She then drew a dog and gave it this dialogue "Timid little girls she never put fairies on the summer gathering place for the Nazi elite." I'm really getting freaked out by some of her messages and was very thankful when Ajan Pranut (our afternoon teacher today) erased them.

2.11.13 Watched Lilith fight with a bee for her cake. She hates insects so she literally flew from her chair to get away from it. Then thought swearing would shoo it away. The bee cared more about the cake.

2.13.13 Originally I was going to say writer but Lilith wants to be a writer (today's creepy horse message was "Bring me all the people and I will make sure they are burning." Don't think I want to see anymore of her work)

When everyone returned we had a review session (except Niko and Lilith because her boyfriend broke up with her today. Most of us had to take a moment to go "You had a boyfriend??").

2.14.13 Last post I said Lilith's boyfriend broke up with her. Today she was excused from half of our midterm because she told Drexler she was up all night. Later, Donna informed me that she had downed a whole bottle of wine to help deal with her feelings. That's definitely healthy (sarcasm).

2.15.13 Drexler informed me he was forcing Lilith and myself to go to Tai Chi today with his wife Barbara.

Lilith stood there most of the time refusing to follow the movements and afterwards said "It wasn't her thing". For those who know Lilith at Coe, I saw her wearing ballet flats today, not heels!!

We complained about Lilith and Donna told us the funny story of how at Multicultural fusion orientation, where every African American freshman was, Lilith announced that she hated black people during her introduction. If you ever wanted a stupid idea, here's one of the dumbest ones ever. She has not been invited back since.

2.18.13 Lilith grossed everyone at her table out by hogging the delicious fried chicken, eating it with her fingers, and dipping her spoon (the only utensil that goes in your mouth besides chopsticks) into the soup. I feel Barbara has caught on to her.

Some of the people I'm here with. From left to right: Lilith, Niko, our guide/the Dean, Alessa. This temple was at the second ruins. I think it was a temple.

2.20.13 Forgot about going to Tai Chi today so got going a little later than planned. Lilith did not join us this time (my prayers have been answered!!) so she will be forced to go to yoga or something else. Barbara is the type of teacher who believes that if we talk to her we will realize she's just shy, not a bad person. This makes me remember she has a Hitler poster in her single at Coe. I don't think we'll be painting each others toe nails and gossiping about boys any time this lifetime. Or the next.

2.22.13 On the way back from buying detergent I walked past Lilith who made a point of ignoring me. I get the feeling she doesn't want to be friends.

2.28.13 Lilith's creepy horse message of the day was "Is the dance floor calling? No."

Lilith, who's half Laotian and this was her first time visiting Laos, spent her time in her room on her computer. Again I wonder why she came on this trip.

3.03.13 The other skit was... awkward. Lilith was randomly sitting on the ground talking about absinthe and Deanna happily stormed out at the end.

3.11.13 I had to sit by Lilith who dressed herself as a hooker. If my grandma saw the way she was dressed, that would be the first word out of her mouth. She bought some platform high heels that don't have a heel. I will take a creeper picture when I get the chance because they are so outrageous. They look like Lady Gaga shoes as a better description.

3.15.13 One thing I did edit out was how completely disgusting and rude Lilith was today. She actually belched at one of the Vietnamese students. Her behavior ranged from obnoxious to 'I was raised in a cave by monkeys'. The students were very concerned that she wasn't having fun.

3.18.13 Watched Drexler try to talk to Lilith about some issues that she has been causing but we watched their body language get more and more closed so it was probably not successful.

3.26.13 When you get out of an elevator it is a common prank to push all the other buttons. Instead, I pushed all the buttons on the way up to our floor. Deanna and Donna took it as a joke but you could feel the loathing rolling off Lilith in waves so much it scared the others. I am not sad to say it made me happy to make her angry. I am a terrible person, but she is worse. One story the host students keep talking about often is how when Lilith showed up at her host's house she asked for potato chips. When none were given she asked to be taken to the bar.

3.30.13 Had to sit by Lilith. Again. I'm starting to believe that I am put in charge of her, that Drexler thinks I can handle this responsibility.

We are the first Asia Term to come here. It's all thanks to Lilith who's half Laotian and her dad wanting her to meet his side of the family. That's happening tomorrow. Perhaps getting sick suddenly would be the ideal way to deal with meeting a family of Nazis. This is her first time meeting her dad's family so we are expecting her to hate them immensely and the day to be awkward or they will make her their new leader.

3.31.13 She decided to wear her hooker shirt today to meet her dad's family for the first time. Hope she doesn't regret that later on.

4.04.13 In previous years Asia Term has been there for a week but because Lindsay wanted to meet her relatives our time in Cambodia has been cut down.

4.25.13 Lilith has gotten on everyones last nerve. Including Drexler's. It's a good thing we're coming home in a little bit.

source

[ariannag6-blog]

If Touya Todoroki were still alive he’d hate to know what his lover was doing with his father. 18+

Reader notes

Heads up, I think my stories are a bit (or a lot idk) longer than most people’s I see on here. 6k words. I’m not an experienced writer so don’t expect it to be written perfectly. Hopefully you enjoy!

18+ , smut, age difference, daddy kink, power imbalance if you squint I guess

You can find all of the stories I publish to tumblr about Enji under the hashtag enjiaria

If Touya Todoroki were still alive he’d hate to know what his lover was doing with his father. 18+

You were dating Dabi/Touya. You met at the smoke shop. Touya needed a job and you were the same. You’d been working there since you were 15. You and Touya quickly became fond of eachother and began dating. You continued dating for the next 5 years. Touya ended up joining the league of villains as a way to seek revenge on his dad. You knew he had daddy issues and you sure did too but you wished he didn’t join. You worried about his safety daily. You didn’t end up joining the villains and continued working different jobs until you landed one at a bakery. It payed the most. Touya sure didn’t make a lot being a villain. Not unless he robbed someone but you didn’t want to pay rent with stolen money in fear of being caught. The best the both of you could afford was a small run down one bedroom apartment but you didn’t mind as long as you got to be with your love. Touya could be mean, he had anger issues but at the end of the day he was always so sweet. You couldn’t imagine life without him. He started being more distant as the final fight against his dad approached. He knew it would be his last he was already getting more and more burnt up with each fight he knew he couldn’t last another. He loved you so much but in the end revenge would consume him. You hadn’t heard from him in a week. He never said goodbye. He never left a note. Nothing. You desperately tried to find him. You heard from one of his villain friends where the fight would be. You rushed into the danger yelling for Touya begging him to stop and come back to you. Touya mouthed “I love you I’m sorry” when he saw you. He wished you didn’t show up he didn’t want you in danger that’s why he left without word or location. Endeavor looked over at you. Seeing you crying for his son. He felt horrible. Then..then it all went down. Touya and Dabi were gone. You spent everynight for a month mourning him. Clinging to photos you had of him in your chest. You had no one. Touya along with every single one of his friends who were also your only friends were dead. You were the only one left. After a month passed you found out Rei and Endeavor had set out a grave for Touya. You visited it everyday.

Endeavor always wonders what his son was like, he desperately wants to ask you being that you are the only living person he knows of that knew anything about him. He often saw you at Touyas grave but always waited until you left not wanting to disturb you feeling like you probably hated him too. He had previously hired a private investigator years ago to spy on Touya. He wanted to get to know his son better. In almost all of those pictures Touya was with you. Kissing you. He knew you had to be the closest person to him. Now that Touya’s villain friends were gone he knew you were the only living person who knew Touya in his older ages.

You had heard on the news that Endeavor’s family members cut him off after that fight. His wife divorced him and kids moved out. You also saw he started doing more charity work and less press. In all honesty you didn’t hate Endeavor you saw him as a broken man who changed or was trying to change for the better. You’re hoping he finds peace you actually hold no resentment towards Endeavor you are a very forgiving person.

One day when he sees you at the grave he has the courage to approach you. He slowly walks up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder keeping you in place not wanting you to turn around and look at him or he’ll be too nervous to ask. He tells you to hear him out but that if you hate him you’re allowed to hit him, kick him, yell at him, punch him anything that you want and then leave just hear him out first. He says he feels horrible that the way he treated Touya made him turn out this way and that you’re the only living person he knows that his son was close with and loved. He asked if you’d be willing to tell him about what his son was like. To his surprise you turned around slowly grabbing his hand off your shoulder, holding it softly smiling gently at him saying you’d be happy to. He was amazed by your grace and seemly no hatetrid towards him but he didn’t question it he had to know about Touya’s life.

You gave him your number and invited him to come over to your apartment for tea to tell him about Touya.

He came over on a weekend when he was off work. You made him matcha tea. As he walked in he noticed how small, run down, and bleak the apartment was. It was in a horribly unsafe area of town too. He was shocked you lived here he didn’t expect this as you looked so put together plus he assumed Touya had to make some money being a villain didn’t he? He also noticed some pictures hanging of you and Touya together hung on the messy run down walls.

You told him that you and Touya lived here when he was alive and that Touya didn’t really make money from being a villain so you mostly worked. But you only worked at a small bakery so you didn’t have much money.

After your conversation Endeavor and saw that it went well he asked if he could see you again. He told you he wanted a friendly somewhat close relationship with you because of your connection to Touya. That and he was honestly really lonely and you were the only person who didn’t seem to hate him but he didn’t want to admit that.

You said yes. You told him after Touya and all his friends died you didn’t have anyone close in your life. You explained how the main person in your life was Touya and his friends but now you didn’t have anyone so being friendly with Endeavor would be fine.

He comes over again next weekend. You enjoy telling him more about Touya. It’s nice having someone to talk with about him now that everyone who knew him before is long gone.

On Monday on endeavors lunch he took a longer break to be able to go over to that awful side of town. He visited the bakery you worked at as an excuse to see you. You were suprised at how nice and warm he was it was very unexpected from what Touya had told you about. You only saw this as a positive sign meaning that he must have been truly changing, you trusted him more because of this.

He offered to invite you over to his house next weekend for dinner but you declined insisting he comes to your apartment instead saying it’s too dangerous for you to go back home so late because of the part of town you live in.

Endeavor frowns at your statement concerned of what awful things his son must of gotten his lover involved in. Surely you couldn’t have lived like this before Touya. He declines and insists but more like politely demands that you come over anyways he tells you to sleep in one of the guest rooms so you won’t have to worry about going back home. You accept.

When you arrive at the previous Todoroki house now just Endeavors house you’re in awe at how big and beautiful it is. When you enter Endeavor hands you some soup telling you to eat then saying he needs to have a serious conversation with you after. You’re nervous. Though he’s sweet to you and seems like a good person now his dominate personality is intimidating. Too intimidating to disobey anything he tells you to do. You quickly eat as he watches you in silence. After you finish you take a gulp of water and he guides you to the living room couch sitting you down next to him.

You speak laughing softly trying to play off your nerves

“E-Endeavor you’re making me awful nervous you know”

Endeavor

“Call me Enji please.”

You

“O-okay yes Enji”

Enji

“I apologize if this sounds rude but your apartment looks like it could break if you breathe too hard. The part of town you live in is scary even to me the number 1 hero. I don’t want the girl my son loved to be living in such a horrible place. I want to offer to pay for an apartment on this side of town. There’s many close to this house but i can get one in whatever building you like. If you keep living where you do I fear you’ll only be alive for another 10 years. Touya wouldn’t want this. I don’t want this.”

You

“Thank you for your offer Enji but it’s too far of a commute to make it to the bakery and I can’t have you spending money on me I’d feel to bad.”

Enji

“Nonsense. I have more than enough money to know what to do with myself. Bakery’s pay more over here anyways. I can find you a new job. Please accept my offer I’m worried about you.”

You excuse yourself to the restroom to collect your thoughts. You hate that he’s offering you feel as though he looks down on you for being poor. You question it for a few moments and think it couldn’t be that bad. You’d have to be pretty stupid to turn down this offer from Endeavor of all people. It’s not like any of your friends are alive to judge you anymore. You pull out your phone to see what the apartment costs here are. You audibly gasp at the cost! It’s more than tripple what your apartment is now. You simply would feel too bad having Endeavor/ Enji do that even if he is rich. You remember how’s he’s told you his family moved out into a new home he built them. This house is pretty big. Honestly the size of a small hotel. You decide to ask to live in one of the spare rooms instead it’ll be a smaller cost to him. Plus you can cook for him often to show your thanks as a way to makeup for the trouble of you being there.

You go back out to the living room and tell him your idea. Nervous to hear his response.

Enji is suprised at your suggestion wondering why on earth you’d ever want to live with an awful man like him?! But then again he thinks it is a big house, he’s getting lonely in his older age, plus he’s usually working so it’s not like you’d have to see him often. He accepts.

Enji

“Alright. I only use two rooms in this house. One for sleeping, one for training. You’re welcome to pick whatever rooms you’d like then for whatever you choose. I work most of the day so you won’t have to worry about me being in your way. I’d like you to move in as soon as possible please.”

You

“Thank you Enji. What meals do you like? I can cook for you for when you get back from work. It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done.”

He ponders fighting the urge to tell you not to cook for him but decides not to fight back finding your kindness endearing. Plus he wants to be more likeable he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings saying no. He accepts and tells you what meals he likes.

You end up moving in the next weekend. Enji is ready to help you with loads of boxes but you only have one. To be honest you didn’t have much stuff. He felt a little sad knowing all you had was one box. Enji carried it for you the entire way back to his home. When you both arrived back Enji pulled out some cash and handed it to you for a “shopping spree”. Now that you were here he wanted to spoil you. He didn’t get to do that with his wife or children he wanted a chance to be that way for someone. Plus he knew Touya would be happy knowing you were being treated well.

You got a new bakery job quickly and went shopping for new clothes with Enji’s money over the next week everyday after work. That weekend he was home all day. You wanted to be even closer with him since you would be living with him from now on. You were feeling a bit playful this weekend…to be honest it was mostly because you had sneakily drank some of Enji’s beer while he was sleeping. You gave him a little clothing haul showing him all the outfits and stuff you got with his money. Showing him how thankful you were.

He liked how playful you were being. He was starting to see you as a family figure. He was growing attached to you quite quickly maybe it was your kindness or just the fact that you seemed to be the only person who didn’t hate him he didn’t know.

You have been living together for a month now. Feeling a bit closer everyday over the meals you shared together. It felt domestic but sweet. You hadn’t seen him much the past week he was busy with hero work. You honestly started to miss him it surprised you. One morning you woke up to the sound of him grunting working out. You were happy he was back. You rushed out of bed to see him and ask if he was okay. He had never been away this long before you were worried. When you arrived at the opened door of his workout room you saw him shirtless and sweating grunting loudly while kicking and punching his punching bag. You stood there silently for a moment taking in the site of him. You’d never seen him shirtless before. He usually was in long sleeves and sweatpants. To be fair when you had first met it was winter, now it’s warming up so it’s not surprising to see him in different attire but still you didn’t expect to see this sight. You subconsciously bite your lip, you start to have lewd thoughts about him but quickly try to get them out of your head. God why are you thinking this? Is it just because you haven’t been layed in a while? You were used to Touya using you 3 times a day. Enji was the only person you were around aside from work. Do you really need to get out that badly? You stumble trying to get those thoughts of your lovers dad out of your head. Enji hears a noise and notices you in the door. He pauses for a moment noticing you biting your lip. He always thinks you look so cute in your sleep wear. Your sleep wear is some old t shirt of his and old sweatpants of shotos he had given you on your first night here. The way your looking right now is making him flustered but he tries to ignore it. No way Touya’s girlfriend would ever be thinking of him like that and no way could he think of you like that either.

Enji

“Hi, how long have you been there?”

You

“Sorry. Just a minute. I heard you were home and wanted to check on you. Are you alright. You’ve never been gone that long.. I was worried about you.”

Enji

“Sorry I didn’t text I didn’t think you would care. I’m alright sweetheart. I just had to go out of town to fight a difficult villain with Hawks. The hero’s over there had a difficult time getting rid of em. I’ll text you next time how long I’ll be gone so you don’t worry. Okay?”

You

“Okay. I’m going to bathe and get ready. Did you eat yet? When I’m done I can make you some breakfast.”

Enji

“Some black coffee and pancakes would be nice if you don’t mind.”

You

“Ah the bakery has been making pancakes recently so I can do that. It should be done in an hour.”

You leave the room to head to the bath. You can’t help but hear his deep voice calling you “sweetheart” over and over again replaying in your head. Why did he call you that? Did he mean to? No, he was just being nice he probably views you like a daughter. Why did you like it so much. You guess it’s not that bad to find Endeavor sexy, it’s not like half of Japan doesn’t already. It’s not like anything will ever happen.

You finish your bath. It’s hot today so you put on a lavender tank top with a black skirt. You go to make the pancakes.

The pancakes are finished and Enji walks in the kitchen. Your hair is still wet from your bath. Your wet hair sits on your chest soaking your top slightly you move the hair out of the way as you go to give Enji his food. You don’t notice but Enji sure does…the wetness of your hair being over your chest makes your lavender top stick to your skin..not wearing a bra it looks completely see through on your breasts. Enji can’t help but stare. He gulps at how perky your breasts, and how pink your nipples are. He tries to move his gaze elsewhere to be respectful but it only leads him to your legs. Suddenly noticing the skirt you’re wearing. You had never worn something like this before. Your legs looked so soft and sensual it was driving him crazy. He quickly grabbed his food and ate at the table not saying a word to you. He glanced over at you cleaning the kitchen while he was eating. You clearly still hadn’t noticed your top was completely see through. It’s alright though it was starting to dry. He didn’t want to embarrass you so he didn’t say anything. Plus he didn’t mind the veiws. You were short so as you got on your tip toes to put away things in the kitchen cabinet your ass showed slightly. Enji almost choked on his coffee when he got that view. He wanted to know what you looked like bend over the counter top and what you sounded like moaning from his touch. He had to get those thoughts out of his head. You weren’t related so it wouldn’t be illegal but he couldn’t do that to Touya. He figured his feelings were just because he hadn’t had sex since Rei left. Nothing more.

Over the next few months Enji continued to casually call you sweetheart during sentences he didn’t notice he started doing this but you couldn’t get it out of your head. It sent tingles down your spine every time he did. Your attraction towards him only grew stronger and you hated it. You tried to tell yourself it was just because you hadn’t been layed but that was a lie. You had a one night stand with a customer you met at the bakery a month ago and it did nothing. It didn’t help you relieve anything you felt at all. Thats how you knew all of these feelings weren’t because of anything other than you having a crush on Enji. Touya’s father. What would he think of you? Enji isn’t the same bad man he was when Touya was little. He’s so sweet and caring you found it endearing. A big strong sexy man with a soft spot only for you? You loved it. Your feelings got the best of you and you decided to ask Enji to train you. Just simple work outs. As an excuse to see him be all hot and sweaty. Nothing had to happen you weren’t going to make a move.

Little did you know he wanted you just as badly. He didn’t mind casually complimenting you or shamelessly teasingly flirting with you. Finding any excuse he could to hug you or put his hands on your shoulder. He didn’t think you’d ever feel the same way and felt too guilty to make a real move so he found all of these actions to be harmless. Oh was he wrong.

When you asked him to workout with you he accepted. When he saw the outfits you wore to workout with him slowly becoming more and more revealing he lost his mind. He didn’t think you were doing it for him he simply thought it was just because of the weather. You on the other hand were pushing your limits tempting him trying to see if he would look at you. That’s all you needed was a look from him at your body. You figured it would be enough to get you off at night then you could go back to playing a sweet and innocent daughter role.

Little did you know you were getting to Enji. The second he went to bed he touched himself to the thought of you in your pretty little outfits. He had enough self control not to be obvious in front of you but god the second he was alone he went mad over you. He wanted to see you on your knees, bent over the bed. He wanted to see you in so many ways. The guilt that he was feeling this way over his son’s girlfriend felt so naughty it was oddly turning him on more.

The next two weeks you continued you train and also lost your self control. You touched yourself to Enji every night when you thought he was asleep. Unknown to you he could hear your moans and the sound of you finger fucking your pussy. On the last night of those two weeks he heard you moan his name while you were touching yourself and he lost it. He pulled down his boxers and began to touch himself to the sounds of your moans. You both finished at the same time. He cared for you deeply he felt bad that he also wanted you in this way too but now that he heard you moan his name..he figured you just wanted him sexually. Could that hurt? A woman has needs too. He could please you and then go back to being sweet and warm with you the rest of the time right?

The next day you were working out with him. He was trying his best not to act awkward after hearing you moan his name last night. He tried the best he could but ended up not paying attention to where he was putting his feet causing you to trip over his big foot.

You tripped and he grabbed you quickly his thumb resting right under your breast. You never seemed to wear a bra and he noticed. He stared at your lips. Then gazed his eyes down the rest of your body panting harder the longer he looked. Unknowingly to him his face was growing redder.

You

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Playing innocent. You were hoping he’d make the first move so you didn’t have to seem like the bad one.

Enji

“It’s not my fault you always look so damn beautiful”

He was about to say sorry realizing what he had just said out loud but he quickly noticed your pupils dilate when he said that. They got so big your eyes looked black.

Enji

“Am I going mad in my old age or..do you feel more than platonic about me?”

You

“Of course I do. Your…you’re like a father figure”

Enji

“Mm I know you’re smart don’t play stupid sweetheart.”

You gasp before saying

“I- I… I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to feel this way I just- I want you. So bad.”

Enji

“I can hear.”

You

“W-what?”

Enji lowers his mouth to your ear and says

“I can hear you moaning my name at night. I can hear you touch yourself. Do you always touch yourself to me or was it just last night?”

You

“I- I’m. It’s always to you. But..we shouldn’t do this. Touya. It’s just..you’re becoming too irresistible E-Enji”

Enji against his better judgment replies

“What kind of host would I be if I didn’t please my guest hm? And for Touya..I know I’ve held myself back from you these last few months because of him but then I thought..would he really want his beloved to go touch starved for the rest of her life? I’m sure he’d want you to be spoiled. I can spoil you sweetheart. Let me.”

You think it can’t be that bad. He is Touya’s father in a way you’ll always have a part of Touya with you this way. You bite your lip and moan softly. Enji takes that as a yes. Usually your head length is right below his nipples while standing. He lifts you up in his arms so your face can reach his. He kisses you softly trying to hold himself back at least somewhat. He doesn’t want to hurt you he knows in the past he can get carried away and be too rough in bed. With you he just wants to please you gently for now that’ll be enough for him. He walks to his bedroom with you. You had never been in his room before the scent smelled just like him. It was so comforting. You had such weird mixed feelings between intense lust for the big man and also wanting him to hold you in his arms and treat you like his spoiled girl. He sits up on his bed with you in his lap. He grabs your ass gently before tugging at your shorts taking them off. He grabs your bare ass and feels down further, teasing your wet entrance with his thick fingers.

Enji

“So fucking tight sweetheart do you not put your fingers inside when you touch yourself?”

You say though soft moans

“Mm I do but y-yours are really big you know”

Enji lifts up your hand placing his fingers next to yours. Two of your fingers aren’t even as thick as one of his. He knew he was a big guy and you were a petite girl but still he didn’t expect you to be so tight. He was used to being with Rei for years who had plenty of years of experience taking all of him he had forgotten what she felt like at the beginning. He knew it would be a tight fit. The thought of it made him drip precum in his boxers. You were so innocent he could teach you everything. But were you? You’d been with Touya surely he wasn’t going easy on you if he took after his dad in any way and surely you had to had been with plenty of men Enji thought to himself. If so..why were you so god damn tight even on his thick fingers?

Enji

“Tell me something sweetheart. How many men have you been with?”

You

“Two.”

Enji

“Touya and who?”

You

“Touya and one guy who came in to the bakery. Only once. I was just trying to get my mind off of you but it didn’t work. It wasn’t very enjoyable to be honest.”

Enji

“I didn’t expect you to be so inexperienced sweetie.”

You

“I- I’m sorry I- Touya was my first boyfriend-“

Enji

“It’s alright, you’re just so pretty I would’ve thought you’d been with more men. You could clearly get anyone you wanted. It’s not a bad thing. I just know to go easier on your little pussy okay? I’ll be extra gentle with you.”

You

“Thank you Enji”

Enji

“Let me do everything. I want to take care of my sweetheart. It’s the least I can do after you cleaning and cooking for me all the time.”

Enji flips you over laying you on your back. He kisses your neck gently as he traces his fingers down your body until they reach your thighs. You close them slightly out of instinct. He forces your legs open. He lifts his leg up slightly pressing his thigh against your leg to hold you open and still. The way he’s taking control is only making you go more dizzy. You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second. Enji can see your pussy leaking onto the sheets. He moved his fingers over to your hole collecting some of your juices on his fingers before rolling circles on your clit. You try to hide your face out of embarrassment of how sensitive he’s making you feel. Enji grabs your chin with his free hand gently instructing you to look up at him.

Enji

“Don’t take your eyes off of me sweetheart. I need to see your pretty little face okay?”

You

“Okay..”

Enji

“Say yes sir for me.”

You

“Y-yes sir. Yes sir, I’ll look at you.”

Enji says in a deep sultry tone

“That’s my good girl. I’m going to take care of your pretty little tight pussy. I want to make you cum..more than once if you can handle it.”

Enji slowly slides a finger into your entrance. It goes in so easily with your wetness. He thrusts a few times before pulling out and adding a second finger. He knows he needs to warm you up to three of his thick digits for you to be able to be even close to taking his cock. He pushes both his fingers knuckles deep inside holding them still while tracing circles around your clit with his thumb. You cant help but pant and moan being drunk off of his touch already. He starts to thrust his fingers in and out of your tight wet pussy. With his free hand he sticks two of his fingers down your throat. He wants to be gentle with you but he also likes seeing his women submissive, at his mercy. He wants to see just how wrapped around his fingers you can be. His eyes darken as you willingly take his fingers down your throat and begin to suck them. He gasps when his fingers are knuckles deep down your throat and you aren’t even gagging. Fuck that was impressive. At the very least he wants to see some tears drip down your face from his fingers down your throat. He slips a third finger in your pussy slowly without warning. You try to moan but it’s muffled by Enji’s fingers. His hardness is growing more and more at how accepting you are of just letting him keep his fingers in your throat. You’re taking him so well in every hole. He can feel you cum on his three fingers. That brings a dark smile to his face and low chuckle out of him. Tears are coming down your face but he can’t tell if it’s from your pussy being stretched too much or from his fingers not releasing from your throat. He removes his fingers from both ends and strokes your hair gently while leaving soft kisses over your face.

Enji

“Are you ready to take me baby? I’ll go really slow sweetheart.”

You

“Yes sir. I’m ready. Please I need you so bad.”

Enji pulls down his pants setting his heavy cock on your body. It reaches your belly button, it’s so thick you couldn’t wrap your hands around it. You thought Touya had the biggest dick you had ever seen but you were greatly mistaken. You can’t believe that monster could even fit inside of anyone but surely it had to after all Touya had to be born somehow. Enji notices you looking nervous. He opens his bedside drawer and grabs a blindfold placing it over your eyes.

Enji

“Here sweetheart. Don’t focus on that now. Be a good girl and just focus on how good it feels. I won’t go all the way in don’t worry.”

God the way he was talking to you so sweetly was making you want him even more. He slowly placed the girthy tip at your entrance. You could feel all his precum god you were happy you were on birth control. You were made for him to fill you. Enji spread you apart slowly. He put in just the first few inches. You screamed, a mix of pleasure and joy. It felt like he was completely ripping you apart. You could hear him chuckle softly. Your screams only turned him on more he loved a little bit of pain but that wasn’t unexpected Touya was the same way. Enji gently traced circles around your clit again as he began to push himself in deeper. The feeling was so over stimulating but you didn’t want him to stop you couldn’t now that you finally had him right where you wanted him. You were squirming slightly from his touches.

Enji

“Shhh hold still. Let me do everything. I know it’s a lot baby I know. You can take it can’t you? You want to be a good girl for me don’t you?”

His grip on your hip tightening to hold you still. His sweet words were sending you over the edge you began to cum all over his thick cock. You screamed and shook. It felt like you were going to break with every clench down on his cock it felt way too big the more you came. But Enji wasn’t done he needed to cum too.

Enji

“Such a good girl I knew I could make you feel good right?”

Enji began to thrust faster. You grew dick drunk beneath him.

Enji

“I’m going to fill you up and you’re going to thank me.”

You tried to say “yes sir” but you were so brain dead underneath him all you could do was babble nonsense. On the plus side you were so overstimulated from cumming you could no longer feel much pain from his girth anymore.

Enji

“Awe my dick made you cum so hard your brain fell out your pretty little head didn’t it? Sweetheart daddy’s gonna cum inside your perfect little cunt now”

You couldn’t think much but you definitely made out the fact that he just referred to himself as “daddy”. You’re starting to notice the similarities between him and Touya even more now. Touya would throw a fit if you forgot to call him daddy every sentence in bed. God it was hot. You loved how dominate it made them feel and how powerless it made you feel. You loved strong men who had their way with you. Enji referring to himself as such made you squirt underneath him as he came inside you. You didn’t think it was possible for someone to cum so much especially a man his age. You were milking him so good.

You

“Thank you sir. Did you like that daddy?”

Enji

“Oh- oh. Tsk tsk you’re so naughty you liked that didn’t you?”

You

“Yea, yes. Daddy fucked me so good I’m gonna be sore tomorrow you’re so thick.”

Enji

“….can daddy make you feel good again? Maybe I can make you feel good quite a bit if you’re okay with that sweetheart..”

You smirk and say

“Mmm I’d like that a lot.”

Enji pulls your panties back up

Enji

“Keep my milk inside you. I want you to stay filled for the rest of the day okay”

You giggle softly at his statement and nod. He pulls you close to his chest with ease. Wrapping his big fingers around your body. His hands practically drown your torso. God he was good at cuddling just as you expected. You never wanted to leave this bed. After a nice hour long cuddle session you both bathe together. Enji is so sweet and gentle with you in the bath. You know the feelings you feel for him are more than lust and he feels the same. He doesn’t know what to make of these feelings. You’re so much younger than him he wouldn’t have expected you to want a real relationship with him but you did.

You both finish the bath and go on with your day.

The next week goes by and you both behave as normal. One day Enji has to work late. Too late to eat dinner. He comes home exhausted not even enough energy for a bath. Only enough strength left to get out of his clothes and lay in bed. You’re feeling needy and knock on the door. He’s too tired to hear. You climb into bed with him and lay your head in his chest. He wraps his arms around you not expecting you to be there.

Enji

“Hi sweetheart sorry I got home late. What’s wrong?”

You

“Nothings wrong I just missed you daddy”

The way you called him “daddy” so effortlessly and naturally sent shivers down his spine. He almost forgot what that was like casually. He made Rei call him “daddy” but he’s been separated from her for a while now he had almost forgotten how good it made him feel.

Enji

“Daddy’s right here sweetheart”

Enji holds you closer and caresses your back gently.

You

“Enji..can I sleep here with you?…everynight?”

Enji

“Everynight? You sure you won’t get tired of me?”

You

“No I could never get tired of you daddy. Ever since that night I can’t stop thinking about you. Not just sexually but I want you to hold me. I want you to want me.”

Enji

“Oh baby..I do want you. I want you so badly. But daddy’s 22 years older than you..I don’t want you to waste your time on me.”

You

“Enji it’s not a waste. Plus you’re related to Touya so it’ll feel like I have a part of him always with me too. I don’t care anymore please I want you.”

He can’t help but admit you’re right. Being with you would also feel like he always has a part or Touya with him as well. That’s not the only reason he wants you though of course.

Enji

“Do you have to be so irresistible sweetheart? I want you alright. I’m..to be honest I’m falling in love with you. I didn’t expect to feel this way after all these years. I don’t deserve you.”

You sush him knowing nothing you say will make him believe he deserves love and happiness after all the trauma he’s caused to his family. You pull him in for a kiss attempting to comfort him in different ways. Enji’s missed kissing you after that night. You both get addicted to the taste of eachother. Enji climbs on top of you slowly. He wants to make love to you. He pulls down both of your pants and sticks his tip at your entrance. He’s too tired to prep you for him tonight but he knows you’ll be wet for him and you are. He shoves himself in slowly. It goes in so much easier than before. He can tell you’ve been practicing with yourself he’s flattered he can tell you’ve been wanting this again. Wanting to be able to take him better. You’re such a good girl for him. He thrusts himself into you balls deep. He puts his hand over your mouth sushing your pretty screams. He’s too sleepy to take his time he needs to come now. He uses his other hand to grab a vibrator from his bedside drawer and places it to your clit on the highest setting. He needs to see you overstimulated and in tears. He needs you to come fast. It’s only a minute before you in a puddle beneath him cumming like crazy. He thrusts faster slapping his balls aginst your ass desperately needing to cum. The way he’s fucking you is primal yet still gentle. He still doesn’t want to be too rough. He fills you with his seed. He pulls you in his chest afterwards. His cuddles are so soft leaving kisses all over your back. You both fall asleep content, happy to finally be with one another.

I might do a part 2/ continuation of this storyline to this but for now this is all I have. 🩶

You can find all of the stories I publish to tumblr about Enji under the hashtag enjiaria

[archivalofsins]

Addendum (September 23, 2024 5:03pm )- It was brought to my attention by a concerned friend inquiring if something had happened yesterday that this post can come off as complaining about a fandom issue of some sort. Because of how often "Don't be like x" (in particularly Futa) has been used in regards to ongoing Milgram fandom incidents.

It was not my intention to invoke those sort of alarming past experiences for anyone that may have come across this post. My intentions when writing this were to interrogate the prevalence of that phrasing when it came to Futa as a character while including the prisoner paired with him known for bullying as well.

To put it in a plain and jovial way- These are my feelings in regards to this topic in a meme format,

Since I have now been informed of how emotionally disruptive this phrasing can be given the things it's been associated with in the past at least within the tumblr Milgram community I will be putting it under a cut with one more addendum further down that uses the same phrasing.

Once again saying to not be like Mu.

It's easy for individuals to understand why they shouldn't be like Futa. In a lot of ways, not many people would see their actions as being similar to his even when they are. This is why I stress not to be like Mu either.

Because it seems to me that a lot of people are comfortable with being bullies as long as they convince themselves they were the victim first.

A trait that's present throughout both Futa and Mu's narratives. Even if not many people recognize how emotionally manipulative, insidious, and abusive this sort of behavior is socially.

Because just like with these two, some will convince themselves it's the other parties fault for doing something wrong first.

That the person who did something wrong should just,

"You apologize if you do something wrong, you learn that even before words, don't you?"

Q.09 Do you want to apologise to the person you killed?

Mu: I think the person who did something wrong first should apologise first.

These two are simply not as different as some fans like to tell themselves. They are both reactionary bullies. Just because one goes on offense (attacks) and the other defense (cries/deflects) doesn't make one any better than the other. That's why they both got into codependent relationships with another prisoner over the first trial intermission.

Both Amane and Haruka provide them with something. Giving Futa and Mu hope and help in a difficult situation. Along with something to do with themselves to prove their own worth. They also both took on a naturing and protective role in Amane and Haruka's lives. Making the other their main priorities as of the second trial.

23/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Futa: Oi, you. Is he ok? He’s not even left his room lately.

Mu: You mean Haruka-kun? Hmm. Yeah, probably. I’ve been bringing all his meals to him so he should be fine. Isn’t that great of me?

Futa: Hah? Who the hell says that sort of thing about themself. ……ah, no, well, right now I understand a bit. When you’re feeling down, it’s nice to have someone who relies on you and accepts you. The rest of us can’t really understand you from where we’re standing. But well, if you’re Haruka’s “salvation” then I guess it really is great.

Mu: Salvation……? I don’t know what you mean. Futa-kun, you don’t sound like yourself. Did you hit your head or something? Oh, wait, you actually did, didn’t you. Ahaha. Ah, putting that aside though, did you know it’s my birthday today?

Q.02 What do you think of Haruka?

Futa: I can’t afford to be worrying about other people at the moment. Anyway, he’s not a little kid.

This is also why one of my first posts discussed them together. They were both even abandoned by their groups,

"Everyone else was having fun, weren't they? What about them?! Why is it just me?!"

Q.18 Do you regret anything?

Mu: I think maybe I should have chosen my friends a bit more carefully.

Q.11 Who do you want to see right now?

Mu: I miss my friends too. But most of all, Papa and Mama.

Yeah, don't be like either of them, actually.

This is not a healthy thing to strive for. The only difference between them is that Futa takes the orders, and Mu gives them. Aptly portrayed in the relationships they've formed over the course of Milgram.

Also, a bully is a bully regardless of if they cry about it. Women have been weaponizing crying for decades. Stop pretending like this is a brand new undiscovered form of manipulation it's not.

Addendum (September 23, 2024 5:03pm ) continued: Also it was not intent to specifically call to attention Mu's characters flaws or take any digs at people who relate to her. Saying things like don't be like x character can be inconsiderate towards individuals who relate to that character a lot especially if it's something done on a consistent enough basis.

These are once again my feelings on that in meme format.

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[gingergari]

Ooh for Toad Peach AU how did the first meeting go with the officials of the Beanbean Kingdom? Ohh maybe more on Peach and Peasley's becoming friends. Does he help her feel a little more confident in her true form? Gimme all of the dynamics hehe

idk why i thought i dreamed this ask but i forgot you sent it 😭 here ya go!

the beanbean and mushroom kingdoms have an extremely close relationship that’s rather old, and as such the births of both heirs were highly celebrated by both families.

here, peasley is roughly 1 year older than peach, and the betrothal between the two was set up very early so the two do not remember their first meeting as they were infants at the time. but still, they visited peach many times before her debutante.

peach’s parents died in a horrific incident i still haven’t detailed when she was around 3-4, which did result in queen bean reaching out more often as peach grew older to offer additional guidance and support :]

but back to peasley and peach, they were thick as thieves and peasley introduced her to fencing! toadsworth wasn’t a fan at first but eventually relented (whatever endears her to peasley, plus any experience with a weapon could come in handy if the mushroom kingdom were to ever leave the peacful era). she’s quite adept in both forms, but prefers to fence in human form. it isn’t something she practices often in current day but it’s something she treasures the memories of alongside trying his bean pillow and learning about beanbean allies and his travels :]

though, as they got older, the two became more aware of their betrothal and what would follow, but things weren’t clicking so they decided to experiment a little (read: they kissed and neither of them liked it. sad!) but neither have brought up calling anything off as both are quite fine with something contractual if it came down to it (but peach would call it off if peasley asked)

at peach’s debutante, they danced together first as a show of the kingdom relationship, and when the first attack/kidnapping happens, the beanbean kingdom offered aid and refuge (little fungitown)

re: her appearance and peasley—she initially meets the beanbean family in toad form, but as she got older this became rarer as experience (and her self image) became priority. peasley makes sure to praise her toad form’s beauty when he sees it, and when mario does come into the picture is of the firm opinion alongside daisy that he does not deserve her if he doesn’t like her true form. on most days she agrees with him

as for superstar saga, he still arrives to the mushroom kingdom ahead of time and toadette volunteers to take peach’s place instead of birdo (the effect is later undone before peach arrives in the beanbean kingdom)

post superstar saga, the two meet (peach crownless) to discuss their love interests, and their betrothal is officially called off. consequent meetings with the beanbean kingdom are held in her toad form :]

[pleafyistired]

this thing i do when i have not consume anything about a media but this guy who makes art about that media is really good and im gonna follow them. And also its probably because of the sunglas- [I AM SHOT DEAD]

[em-b-sides]

I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually

[rintoki]

if you don’t think that your comments in the reblogs mean anything, i just want you guys to know that i still go back and read through them even now, months after you wrote those comments.

so please reblog and leave comments, i promise it means more to the writer than you realise.

[thestaplerqueen]

I know a lot of people who say “yeah I don’t have tiktok either…. I just go on Instagram reels 😅” like ok bestie you’re still plugged into the infinite scroll attention currency trap and staying up to date with the songs and trends. I want to see where the tumblr userbase stands. I am aware of the biases. Reblog.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

the sense of having any lore about the ancient [ten to thirteen years ago] of marble hornets times like granpa granpa tell us a greentext story....the only hitch is not having stories and instead having "i guess you had to be there" tales from the fringes, unless instead of a hitch you frame this as a bit

[kuiinncedes]

bro

[nomairuins]

i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list

[medicinemane]

Jesus fucking christ I get tired of sitting here and hearing my dad loudly ripping ass from the other room

Like listen, I get it, I get that you can't control your guts. Like fuck, for a while... as in like months, I was having trouble even leaving the house... still no clue what was even up which makes me feel like my theory about not eating enough is in the lead given... haven't found any allergies I can identify

So I get it and have sympathy (and fear inheriting my dad's guts), but... it's just so fucking gross man

And it's also like... maybe I'm eating, maybe I'm watching a show... whatever it is the mood's kinda ruined by this just... it almost literally couldn't be louder or grosser

I get you can't control your guts but... do something... anything... see a doctor or... anything

It's just nasty. He's not a bad person, but my dad's just a nasty dude