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#me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just
nomairuins · 26 days
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i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list
#its difficult. i used to be rly good abt not doing kms type jokes bc i did when i was younger and then i stopped bc of um . stuff#nd i think it rly was good for me nd then ykw started making them a LOT and now i do them constantly and ik itis bad for me like. as a guy#whos been suicidal since i was 7. yk. ik itisnt good for me but its hard#idk. i need 2 try 2 stop making them again. like idt ppl who make them r evil I personally dont tend to use them very seriously#it rly is judt a like. Ugh something annoying happened i should kms. but like. witht he we should kill connor joke its Less and less a joke#and more just feeding into ummmmm. the bad parts of my thing that i have to be vague abt so ppl dont worry.#Im not planning anything its not that. its just a belief i have that is ummm concerning to many but very comforting to me and keeps me sane#but i dont like 2 talk abt it . bc ppl tend to get worried its rly not anything that bad its judt likeee. I know that thing is true and#there isnt anything i can do to stop it from happening so i made peace with it ages ago and its comforting that i dont have 2 like. worry#abt whatll happen bc ik whatll happen#sry im being vague ive like. i think ive mentioned it a couple times and ppl get very concerned (my old psych literally told me verbatim#That sounds so terrifying.) and likeee. there have been times its scared me a lot like i can remember a few times i woke up having a panic#attack bc i didnt want to do it but i know thats whatll happen and its fine. but it wont be any time soon#it keeps me from doing anything honestly bc like. why rush FJFNFJNFNik itll happen eventually no matter what i do so even when it gets bad#enough i think abt it im like. yk. it helps. i kind of lost a bit of vagueness. please dont worry abt it fr like. it keeps me sane it keeps#me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just#bc like. i have a lot of other stuff abt me i need 2 fix first but i think it would probably be good for me if i stopped. sigh. which suck#bc like its been said time and time again that like. Im going to kms is just like. it encapsulates feelings very well there r like no other#exclamations that fit. aside from the like. Krill my shellfish type things but thats the reason i slipped back into just saying kms in rhe#first place so. UGH. and theres so many fucking stupid tjmblr ones. like no im not going to sub Kys for Go step on a lego >_< bc like... im#not 1. 5 or 2. 27. the 2 ages i think ppl would say shit like that.#sry my vendetta against 27 year olds is neverending idk i just dont like whatever happens to tumblr users of dhat age. ive mentioned it#several times inwont go into it and im probably near out of tags anyway#ive got 7 more spend em wisely one supposes. idk. its just difficult. ik its judt words and shit and im sure i cn come up with good#alternatives. theres judt like not any rhat r like the same vibe without also reinforcing My stuff in an unhealthy way. idk. idkk#like not that making kms jokes is gonna make me do it anytime soon but like yk . ik i cant blame my self loathing spike on this alone#bc ive like. Beeeeeeeen going through some stuff thats contributing way more#but i do think before i started making these jokes again my self loathing and like. rhe amt of time i thought abt it was less . idk#sui ment#<- jic i tried not to be like. too much. but you know
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Bride of the God of Death mice au
Doesn’t that sound like the title of a manga? Cause that’s what it was influenced by. huh, didn’t expect people to actually reply to that... thanks! i’m flattered :3 I probably once spoke about this AU years ago, but since then I’ve cemented a few more details. Anyway, this was inspired by artwork @widdlez made once upon a time, specifically these images : 
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(pretty sure there was a third one but having difficulty finding it among the 5,000 mice arts I have saved on my laptop [not an exaggeration])  idk how long this will be, so I’ll put it under a cut.
Once upon Ancient Japan time, there was a quaint village that was technically owned by Minnie’s family - she is the priestess of the village, meaning she can (faintly) see and speak to spirits, although she can’t quite hear them herself. She even tamed a demonic-like dog (that’d be Pluto up there) that once frightened the villagers, until she realized the poor thing was just hungry. Everyone in the village adores her, because she’s so kind and selfless. Lately there had been a large number of people becoming ill, and although Minnie does her best to take care of them, there doesn’t seem to be any cure.
One of the village priests who is supposed to be Minnie’s servant, Shyster (which, for you comic geeks should give you an idea about his intentions) proclaims that this is the work of the God of Death, in that he’s trying to steal people’s lives to expand his kingdom. The only way to stop the people’s suffering, he says, is to offer a bride. But the only bride worthy to be with him must be a pure, spiritual soul... Sayyyy, Minnie... Yes, the girl is so naive that she believes Shyster has the best intentions and he must be right. Wanting to save her village, she resolves to find the mountain where the God of Death lives and offer herself up as his bride. The next morning, she departs with Pluto (Strange, she notices, how no one said goodbye as she left...)
Eventually Minnie founds the mountain, coming across a gigantic, eerie cave. Suddenly, a booming, terrifying voice calls out. WHO DARES APPROACH THE LAIR OF THE GOD OF DEATH
Shaking, Minnie announces herself.
BEGONE, MORTAL! THIS IS NO PLACE FOR THE LIKES OF YOU!
Out steps a huge, smoke-spewing dragon, eyes the color of blood, teeth sharp as a knife. The powerful God of Death! Minnie is scared beyond belief, but she gets to her knees, bowing low. “Please, I beg you to hear my words. O great God of Death.. I offer myself to you, as your bride.”
“... WAIT WHAT”
“... I said I offer myself-”
“NO NO I HEARD YOU - HANG ON A MINUTE -”
Clearly startled, the dragon suddenly scoots back into the cave, talking with someone??? WHY IS THERE A CUTE GIRL SAYING SHE WANTS TO MARRY ME??? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS!!! After a puff of smoke, the god leaves the cave again - but this time in his real form, which is the Mickey we all know and love. He can shapeshift, being a god and all, and uses that form to scare people away from the location. So, uh, what’s going on??? Not that he isn’t flattered - she is VERY pretty - but, uh???? UH????
Minnie explains the situation about her village, begging Mickey to stop taking away their lives. Mickey explains in turn that he doesn’t actually kill people, all living things die on their own. He just makes sure the spirits stay in the Underworld, and often travels the world to stop malevolent spirits from hurting people and helping them move on. He offers to take her back to the village so she can see the truth. Once they arrive, Minnie finds out that no one can see either mouse - and thus the sad truth is revealed.
Shyster has been poisoning people (the ‘illness’)  so he can try to make people leave and sell the land. He knew that once Minnie was gone, he could accomplish this, so he gave her a fatal dose the night before she left for the mountain. Minnie’s been dead this whole time, and Mickey had come along to make sure she didn’t turn into a malevolent spirit  - which she nearly does, due to her anguish. But he helps calm her down, and says that while he can’t interfere too much in the mortal realm... he can still pull a few strings. Such as acting like a poltergeist and scaring the bajeebus out of Shyster, eventually making him admit his wrongdoings to the village.
With that problem solved, Minnie accepts her death and that she must pass on. She thanks Mickey for his help, ready to vanish, but by now Mickey (you all saw this coming) is completely smitten with her and decides to pull one last string. With one magical kiss, he gives her some of his divinity, making her a semi-demi-god and his official bride. Minnie is actually quite thrilled, having fallen for Mickey herself, and devotes herself to becoming a “proper” bride... hilarity ensues because she’s so sheltered she’s not 100% sure what that entails.
But the adventures don’t stop there, as when I’m bored at work/trying to sleep I often think of them traveling the world, helping spirits and other Japanese supernatural beings - such as , again, artwork inspired by widdlez - 
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In this scenario, Lady Daisy was traveling back home with her servants when bandits attacked and she got separated and lost. Just as she’d given up all hope, along comes Donald the Kappa, who (albeit stubbornly) helps her find her way home. Daisy then says she refuses to go along with her arranged marriage until someone finds that Kappa so she can properly thank him. Nobody believes her, since Kappa are the stuff of fairy tales, and thinks she’s just finding a reason not to get married. When Minnie finds out, she begs Mickey to help out. (And she knows every time she calls him “my husband” he goes weak in the knees, so it’s a sure thing.)
Mickey manages to find Donald and bring him to Daisy - as it turns out, Daisy WAS finding a reason not to get married... Because she wants to marry Donald instead! Whoops. She latches onto him and won’t let go, but the hometown refuses to accept a marriage between her and a “monster”... so she runs away to be with him! Donald is 100% confused but eventually just rolls with it because he clearly can’t get rid of her anyway. Mortals are weird.
Other concepts I had included - 
Pete as a Lightning Oni/Demon, who constantly picks fights with Mickey as he believes if he won, he could become the new God of Death. (Mickey kicks his ass every time, so he becomes comedic relief.)
Comic-Book-Exclusive-And-Relatively-Unknown Prince Penguin as a male version of a Yuki-Onna (Snow woman) who kidnaps Minnie to be his bride instead.
Goofy as a spirit that can’t move on because he forgot who he was, and becomes a traveling companion. 
Mostly it was fun imagining Minnie in these beautiful long dresses and gorgeous long hair constantly calling Mickey “my husband” instead of his name. Mickey in turn wants to keep spoiling her rotten, having secretly been so lonely all these years and just so happy to have a wonderful woman at his side. Might write a storybit about this eventually. Hope you all enjoyed this!
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