#i feel like it was just yesterday that i was like 12

[orangeshinigami]

.

[kyouka-supremacy]

I think we should put more emphasis on how Akutagawa's love is killing him. Descriptions of his feelings for Atsushi should draw from death imagery more. Atsushi's smile is devastatingly beautiful to Akutagawa. His laughter is lethal. Atsushi's touch feels scorching hot. When he's near, the air around becomes unbreathable. He hugs Akutagawa, and Akutagawa feels like his bones are being crushed under those new and overwhelming feelings. Akutagawa drowning in Atsushi's eyes, sinking in his embrace. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is piercing, painful, Akutagawa's heart is wounded and bleeding. Akutagawa is smitten. All contributing to represent how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is going to be the end for him. And it was! And he is doomed by his very love, by his very ability of feeling human emotions. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is going to be the reason he dies.

[ilkkawhat]

so anyway this dream about ilkka, sharing to hopefully give someone a chuckle, first just some random appearances on shows but at one point he was the doctor on doctor who (which, i had a similar dream with george funnily enough) except he wasn't...him. he was peter capaldi. it was like. revealed that he and peter capaldi were the same person.

[lettucing]

tomorrow is 4 years since unus annus ended jesus christ someone sedate me.

[sskk-manifesto]

(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

[number1girl]

my boss is abusive like straight up <3 <3 <3 not even in a "donate to my gofundme to help me escape an abusive living situation and by that i mean my roommate asked me to do the dishes" type of way. like i am literally trapped in the cycle of build up explosive incident honeymoon phase

[ashintheairlikesnow]

my brother brought his sick kids to family Christmas and now I am a plague riddled abomination weakly calling out for more hot tea from the couch while my body simply falls apart with me trapped inside it

[orcelito]

Either side effects started immediately or I'm just way too burnt out from how much effort I've spent on this fic this week

No writing done today. None. Nilch. I think im losing my mind a little bit actually. Unable to focus at all. It's 9 pm. I'm thinking about painting my nails and putting on a nice calm show to chill the fuck out, go to bed early, be consumed by mental illness during the night to write this last scene in the time it's embodying, edit and post in the morning

Maybe.

Just need to chill a bit. That's all.

[chronicillnesscaneffoffplease]

I’ve had a few “whoops this thing I stopped doing is actually helping me” moments recently.

I’ve felt wretched and like I was coming down with the flu recently. It felt more than my normal PEM symptoms, and I was really concerned. And then I realise it’s spring, a bunch of stuff is blooming, and it’s been sooooo windy. And I stopped taking antihistamines and my nasonex sometime last year (antihistamines bc we thought it might have been causing some side effects, nasonex bc I hate the sensation of nasal sprays and need motivation to use it). Pesky hayfever. Needless to say I’m feeling much better having restarted my regimen. I felt a bit silly that I could have avoided feeing miserable though.

I went out for an appointment yesterday in my “knock about the house” shoes that are podiatrist loathed (nil ankle support, nil arch support, worn down), rather than my lace up shoes with my orthotics. After that appointment, I thought I’d check out a new store that’s opened at the shops nearby. I ended up doing a LOT of walking at the shops and today my ankles are sooooo painful and my hips been acting up. I guess it’s good to know that my shoes and orthotics are doing good things in terms of symptom prevention (as well as better longer-term outcomes) but damn do I feel ouchie.

I’m framing it as “yay negative data also tells us important things” because I gotta remember it’s not my fault when these things happen but it is good to try learn from them. And frankly, when there’s so many things going on with your health and condition management as a disabled person, it’s okay when things fall through the cracks. It’s gonna happen. Especially when there’s lots of non-disability stuff going on too. It’s okay.

[halfdeadwallfly]

me when the group conversation is triggering a bunch of instrusive thoughts and he notices that i'm uncomfortable so he keeps trying to redirect the topic without drawing everyone's attention to me 💪🥳😭🥀💌🌬️☄️🪐⛈️👾🐛🙏💌

[candyredterezii]

[vulpinesaint]

did 90 pages of my reading for three different classes is everyone proud of me :) finished the chapter on judaism for my sacred texts class, read "an apology for poetry" by sir philip sidney for my lit theory class, and did my two chapters of reading from the truth about stories by thomas king for my folklore and mythology class. and wrote a summary paper on that sacred texts chapter. and did my little writing assignment for my french class. all while sick. who is going to kiss me on the forehead and tell me i did a good job

[alabyte]

On literally the first day when I have the desire, time and energy to draw, suitable references, ideas and an inspiring playlist, I can’t even pick up a stylus, because a day ago my body decided that it was a GREAT time for a mental breakdown, and now my hands are shaking as if I had been living with a jackhammer in my hands for WEEKS

[herbalsingularitea]

Venty stuff in tags ignore me I’m just screaming into the void about chronic pain/illness

[camscendants]

They won’t send you home from work early?

Have a panic attack in the back room problem solved