#i dont wanna be alive anymore right now

[awkwardgaydude]

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[randomminty]

Starting the year off w a uhhhhh. A creechure of some sort

[widevibratobitch]

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[cicidraws]

im not well.

[killerboyratzmp3]

lol just saw that the friend who has aired me for almost a year deleted their tumblr account. lololol

[kasarian]

im glad to be friends with one person who at least gets me and is so very patient with me even tho we dont talk much bc of timezones because if not i wouldve been worst off. recently been reaffirmed again and again that the world will keep blaming me for things i never did and will nitpick me of my mistakes because i forgot left something a mess after my routine of cleaning consistently or something like that.

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

[good-enemy]

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[skeletonmaster69]

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[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery

Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3

tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood

Bisuke: Gai's Back!

Gai: GRAAH!

Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,

Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?

Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.

Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then

Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!

Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry

Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.

Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.

Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners

Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it

Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...

Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.

Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"

Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]

Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?

Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken

Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that

[angustully]

,

[the-last-hipopotamovolador]

Okey a lot of fucking disgusting stuff are happening all around the world. The genocide of palestinians, the new anti queer law in russia, the congo situation and god knows how many other fucking disgusting inhumane shit is happening in so many places right now.

LISTEN i know that even for people like me who arent victims of any of these situations everything can be so overwhelming right now, and that we may feel hopless and we just dont wanna do anything anymore because everything seems pointless.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER YOU BELIVE DO NOT BACK THE FUCK DOWN!

Like me, so many other people of the world (even if we belong to a "minority" and for that suffer daily discrimination) we are lucky enought to be ALLOWED to exist because for fucking coincidence we live in places where our goverments or/and the international powers allow us to just fucking be alive.

But there are so many people who the only thing tthey did was being born and for that the goverments decide that they should not exist.

If you were born in palestina to Israel and most of the world you arent fucking allowed to be alive.

If you are queer and were born in russia your fucking goverment says that you are not allowed to be alive.

If you are black in congo you are not allowed to be alive.

If you are native, for most of the goverments in the america continent you are not allowed to be alive.

And if you are a person with vulva/ you are a woman you are not allowed to be alive in most of the fucking world.

And so, so, so many more examples could be add because in this fucking sick world just being ALLOWED to be alive is a privilege.

So PLEASE I BEG YOU, IF YOU ARE IN A POSITION WERE YOUR MERE EXISTENCE IS ALLOWED (even for the dislike of some people) PLEASE, EVEN IF IT HURTS JUST RAGE, SPEAK THE FUCK UP! DONT BE QUIET!

If there are ambassadors of Israel in your country or/and from any other country that prohibits the existence of people, go and RAGE! GO AND DEMAND A CHANGE!.

If YOUR COUNTRY is in ANY way supporting the fact that some groups have the power to decide whether or not some people should be allowed to exist GO AND SCREAM AND SHOUT AND FUKING RAGE.

We have the previlege of being allowed to exist, is our human obligation to speak and shout for those who doesnt have that privilege and arent heared.

[stewykablooey]

yeah we’re right to make the dickmatized jokes about stewy going against his better judgement to back kendall Again. but this time it’s honestly fucking miserable. stewy has been trying to get kendall out since the beginning, since before the beginning, and then here he is at logans funeral and kendall wants back in. stewy backing him for ceo, yes was him letting kendall pull the friend card and yes was him letting his feelings cloud his judgement and yes was him being dickmatized to a dishonorable degree, but its also like. logan is dead. logan is dead and the company’s not in family control anymore and ken is halfway out the door and he has something good going on. logan is dead and one piece of paper has kendall diving back in. stewy’s been trying to get kendall out of logans control from the start and logan is dead and ken should be free but they’re at his funeral and kendall wants back in. ‘ken is your head on straight?’ genuinely i was surprised that he backed him because stewy wouldnt. because it makes bad business sense and because stewy doesnt want kendall at waystar in the first place. ‘what in it for me, ken?’ he wouldn’t do this but at this point its a resignation. its a last resort. i couldnt get you out when he was alive and now he’s dead and i still cant get you out so i’ll help you get it in because this is the last way i know how to help you at all. ‘i dont wanna live in a haunted house, kendall tells stewy, unaware that he already is, oblivious to the ghosts lurking around them both. they were fucking right. it IS around them both. in kendall’s haunted house the ghost is logan. in stewy’s haunted house the ghost is kendall.

[the-californicationist]

The Simple Mistake (Ghoap)

Ghoap fluff, hurt/comfort (please be nice i dont write ghoap)

Johnny wasn’t often the smaller man. In most situations, he was the aggressor, or at least the larger of the pairing. But, he felt himself being lifted as if his body were mostly air. He was being carried like a sack of flour, hoisted over a huge, mountainous shoulder, and tossed into arms that cradled him with ease. The sergeant could feel the way his captor’s muscles bent and twisted, even under all his black gear, and although the gunfire and the flashbangs were deafening, he could hear the hollow, steady swell of the man’s breathing as it filled his wide chest. 

“C’mon, Sergeant. Just a few minutes and you’ll be right as rain. Hold on,” the dark, muffled voice told him. 

The man had been making these threats the whole time, promising him freedom and safety, telling him he’d be alright. Johnny didn’t much care either way, not anymore. Right now, all he wanted to feel was more of the same, more of these shoulders, more of this expansive back whose lats were pulled wide like spread wings. A great bird of prey, or a vulture come to claim its carrion. 

Bullet wounds were always a fucking mess, that was for sure. Luckily, the pain of it was being covered by an immense layer of shock. Johnny could feel the symptoms; chills, loss of sensation, trembling… it was all there. But, he was thankfully lucid, so they may not have hit him in a vital spot. Because of the vest and all of his gear, he hadn’t been sure exactly which bullet had landed the blow, but he felt the punch of the projectiles in his leg and chest, so something was bleeding… that much was clear. 

It wasn’t his symptoms that concerned him; it was the tone of his Lieutenant’s voice as he reassured him over and over and over again, killing Makarov’s men as he made his way out of the warehouse with a series of pistols that he procured from the piles of dead terrorists. Having to stop and murder more Konni operatives made their journey a slow one, and Johnny could tell Ghost was becoming more and more frustrated. 

“Where are these fuckin’ bastards all comin’ from?” The strong English accent was a comfort to the Scot, as much as it was an annoyance. 

He didn’t reply to the question, not even with a snarky jab, and he stayed as still as he could, trying to make it easy on his carrier. 

“You alive, Sergeant?” The concern had increased by an octave.

“Solid,” Johnny managed to respond, but it was getting a little hard to breathe. 

“Almost there, mate. Almost… there,” Ghost rushed into a heavy, lockdown facility and shut the door behind him.

There were three inches of steel between them and their enemies and absolutely no communication service. The silence of the safe room settled around the two men like a dark blanket, shielding them from the outside world. The light was dim, the floor was mostly sand, and there was a marked lack of furniture. 

Johnny felt himself being gingerly laid down on a desk, all of its contents fiercely strewn on the floor of the room, and Ghost began to remove the sergeant’s gear. 

“Jesus, LT,” Johnny panted, “Feels like you didnae even break a wee sweat, sir. I wanna be just like you when I grow up.”

The lieutenant was too focused for his jokes, his voice flat and cold, focused on ripping Johnny’s gear from him piece by piece,

“You’ll be better than me, Johnny.”

Johnny felt like he was being mauled by a bear. His body was jostled around like a ragdoll as Ghost pulled plate after plate from his chest. Eventually, his vest was ripped away, and then Johnny saw the glint of a huge knife. He barely had time to gasp when Ghost sliced up through his shirt and sleeves, yanking it off of his body, revealing his chest, sweaty and hairy, tanned in odd lines where his tank top and tee shirt had been. The sergeant chuckled a bit, nervous, smiling up at his commander,

“Maybe I already am, sir.”

Ghost didn’t reply. He was too focused on the task at hand. His eyes were wild, checking and rechecking Johnny’s body for the source of his blood. Finally, the sergeant was turned, lifted with ease from the desk, so that Ghost could inspect his leg. 

“Trousers have to come off, Sergeant,” the lieutenant explained. 

It was barely a warning. In one swift rip, Ghost shucked Johnny’s pants down to reveal… all of him. 

Johnny wasn’t really one for underwear, but he was kicking himself for that habit today. 

“LT! Christ!”

“You’re hit in the side of this leg. Need an XStat here. Deep breath.”

Johnny didn’t have time to breathe at all. The searing pain from the insertion of the wound-sealing device made his face twist into a wild grimace, and he shivered from the hot flash of agony. 

“Fuuuuckkk…” Johnny moaned, writhing and fully naked on the shitty desk.

Ghost was on the ground, digging in his gear bag, and he produced a foil shock blanket. He unwrapped it, ripping through the packaging, and lay it over his sergeant, tucking it around him. 

Johnny was shuddering, and his voice shook, but he tried to smile,

“Th-thanks, LT… Wish I had a wee bit more warmth, though. Cannae seem to stop shakin’.”

Ghost pulled off his gloves, and then, to his shock, Johnny watched as he removed his mask. He didn’t see Simon’s face often, but when he did, he tried not to stare. It was just a face, after all. There were no odd deformities, but it was as if some version of Zeus had just revealed himself through a swan or a bull; it was meant to be witnessed. 

The lieutenant didn’t meet his eyes, but he scooped him up, his huge arms curled under his back and in the crook of his knees, and brought him down to the ground. Then, he just… held him there. 

Johnny tried to remember the last time he had been held. A wee lass from high school, perhaps? But, she had not cradled him like a bairn. Perhaps it was his ma, when he drug his knee climbing through nettle at his uncle’s farm, burning up like the idiot he was, sniffling about the sting. 

Now, here he was, a grown man, cradled again in the same way. The bulk of Simon was warm against him, but the gear dug into his naked flesh. Ghost could sense his discomfort and moved him aside for a moment, shrugging out of his vest, and replacing Johnny right back into his arms. 

“Are you warm?” Simon asked quietly, a little under his breath.

“Aye, sir, thanks for tha’.”

“Are you in pain?” This question came out like a prayer, and it unsettled the younger man.

“Aye… but, it’s better now, sir.”

“Good. Help’s comin’. Sent Laswell a ping before we got locked in.”

Johnny chuckled, resting his head on Simon’s shoulder,

“She’ll find us in a right state.”

Simon shifted a bit, and there was a long pause before he muttered,

“I’m sorry, Sergeant. When they arrive, we can —”

“Haud yer wheesht,” Johnny interrupted him, pressing his forehead into Simon’s warm, bare neck, “It’s a fine state.”

“Aye.”

“Aye?” Johnny’s blood rushed through his veins, “So, you have taken a shine to me, then.”

“Aye,” Simon said, finally turning to meet Johnny’s eyes as he lay in his arms. He pressed his nose into Johnny’s space, close enough for a kiss but speaking to him instead, 

“I’ve taken a bloody shine. It’s bright enough to keep me awake at night, and it’s blindin’ me now. Everything in me says that I should leave you alone. Your rank, your future… you rely on me. But, I can’t stop staring at the shine of you. So bright. All the time.”

Johnny’s arm crinkled through the foil blanket as he reached a hand up to touch the coarse shadow on Simon’s jaw, drawing those full lips into his, petting his cheek, tasting the cigarette smoke on his tongue. He moved against him, feeling Simon’s enormous strength respond in a generous outpouring of affection, like a statue once frozen now come to life. They sank into each other, melding together, melted like hot wax, fusing, tumbling until there was only the shine of love between them.

[mayearies]

˚ʚ ©hiimayee ɞ˚

OPEN ARMS? …. miles g. morales ⟡

જ⁀➴ genre : angst | warnings : breakup, no happy ending, lengthy blurb

꒰ঌ ໒꒱ note! : yeah this made me cry if u cry sorrieee

miles knew you too well. you wanted him to choose a new path in life, and he thought different.

you liked to take him out on random dates sometimes. walks around brooklyn, stay up talking, but most of all—convincing him he doesn’t need to do this. he’s heard it a thousand times. he has to.

today was a bad day to catch him. and he would later come to you in the dead of night and find your endless persuasive ramblings being an earworm for him.

“ listen. i get your point, i seriously do. but can you shut up with the prowler shit. for five seconds.”

“ i’m sorry-”

“ i just- i dont wanna talk about it, okay?”

miles wasn’t like this all the time. in fact, he was rather sweet towards you. no matter how annoyed he was, he was usually nice. but he didn’t look recognizable to you anymore. he looked disappointed.

he didn’t hold your hand like he used to when you walked down the street, he was more distant. and you didn’t see him as much anymore.

the ringing of your protests against him were always in his ear, even if you weren’t speaking. thats just what made him more upset. but he didn’t know what to be upset at.

you walked slightly beside him. he would slow down if you trailed too far behind. you didn’t know if you should follow him back home. suddenly, he stopped. “ can i ask you somethin’?”

“ mhm.”

“ do you really think i’m a hero?”

you knew what he had to see. some die, some live, some injured. some of those he had to inflict. but he said he did it for the greater good. for you and brooklyn. “ …i don’t know.”

miles scoffed at your answer, kicking the rocks on the pavement. his sudden change startled you a bit. “ great answer. just absolutely amazing.”

now, there’s one thing here. he can be upset all he wants. but he shouldn’t gain an attitude.

“ you need to chill out-”

“ don’t tell me what to do, [name].”

he doesn’t use your first name a lot. what happened to nicknames? what happened to ‘ma?’ ‘darling?’ ‘amor?’ what happened to those? are they just lost to time now..?

his distance was bothering you. he just wasn’t miles anymore. you don’t know who this is. is this the prowler you’re talking to? you grabbed his wrist making him stumble back. “ i’m worried! i’m worried about you.”

“ well don’t.” snapping at you was something he never did. never once in his life. he would tell you to back off, yeah, but never like that before. “ i’m fine.”

“that’s bullshit!”

he was really trying not to snap at you right now. you were working his last nerve. he doesn’t want to argue. he just wants you to leave it alone and move on. as you always do.

he huffed before relaxing his expression. “ look. just don’t worry about me, alright?” he paused, “ you hear me? just stop.”

you felt unheard. you felt so ignored. " you're a fucking liar! do you expect me not to worry about you when you come to my window at three in the morning? covered in bruises?! is that how you wanna play this out!?"

miles’ expression turned stern. even as he began to shake a little. you couldn’t believe this was miles. “ you think i’m still your sweet boy ?? do you really think that !?"

he looked hurt, he wasn’t happy.

" …i-" you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. he used to be so loving. so caring. it didnt feel like he was here at all. he just felt like a stranger. someone who walked all over your heart.

“ forget it-” silence filled the thick atmosphere again.

“ do you even think im alive, miles?"

miles stopped walking, he looked back quickly. he seemed confused.. and a little hurt. he saw you on the verge of crying. he would always say if he made you cry, he would never forgive himself for that.

" do you think im here? do you think i just-" your voice started breaking, " i just dont ever think about what you're going through? when i clean up your blood from my sheets? do you think i dont care?"

you cant avoid the inevitable, huh? yeah. he thought that too. he knew this would happen. “ because i assure you— i do care. i care more than- more than anyone else! anyone else that you know as a friend. thats why i ask. but you never tell me. never once. i do all of this for you, and i get nothing. miles.”

miles sighed, he had always felt this way—he didn’t deserve you. he knew he didn’t. you? he doesn’t know. it’s just hard for him to show how he really feels sometimes. “ ..please know i care.” he paused, wrapping his arms around you.

“ i really do. i hate to see you so worried about me.. and i hate that i have to put you through that.” he looked down over your shoulder, ashamed.

"then why? why, miles?"

miles paused for a minute, trying to find the right words. “ i have to do it.” he knew those weren’t the words you wanted to hear.

"for what sake!?"

" …i can’t just stand by..” miles sighed, his voice becoming weak. " i can’t."

you cried into his jacket as he rubbed your back. you knew a solution to this. you did, but it wouldn’t be pretty. it wouldn’t be anything considered nice.

pulling away, you stared at you feet. some tears still dripping to the pavement, "… maybe it isnt best… we see each other right now." your breath was shaky, and you could feel his demeanor change. "its just- you have a lot on your plate and… i dont wanna be involved in that."

miles was now silent, there didn’t seem to be anything he could say right now. he felt defeated, like there wasn’t anything he could do to change your mind. “ are you sure?”

you sighed lightly, “ no.”

you knew it had to happen. it was the only way to catch him a break. this was for him, not you. "you cant have it all, miles. i just wish we had better timing… you know?" you were on the verge of crying again.

miles was trying his best to keep you from crying. he knew that. he was lucky enough to even know you. he wish you met somewhere else. some other universe. “ no- please don’t cry. don’t do this to me.." he took his hand to yours, he really didn’t want this to be the last time you talked.

you had to let him go. you had to. it was for the greater good.

miles was still waiting with his hand in yours.. “ please. just tell me your not going to leave. im sorry." he said, he sounded.. really worried. he hated this.

"i just.. feel like i cant love you the same.."

miles had frozen, he didn’t know what to say. he felt like you were leaving forever. tears had started to form in his eyes, he was speechless. those were the words he’s always feared. the one thing he wanted to avoid.

“ please don’t leave me.. it’s just- i dont- i dont know what to do anymore. please. i love you.”

even after everything, you still believed he could figure it out. but you weren’t part of that equation at all. you could see his breath hitching softly as tears stained his face.

you cupped his face and smiled weakly at him. "… meet me in a year. just… find yourself before you find me. can you promise me that?"

your eyes looked pleading and caring. he shakily nodded his head which made you giggle a little. he seemed to have calmed down now, and was prepared for whatever the future has to hold. “ you’re a pretty crier, y’know?”

“ heh,” he sniffled, “ you never fail to make me smile.”

even with all his doubts, he still couldnt grasp how he met someone like you. you were his everything. everything he liked in one. he couldn’t ask for any less.

“i’ll be waiting for you with open arms, mamita.”

and he did. but you never came.

as i said before. you can’t avoid the inevitable, yeah?

afterwards note! : my layout will continue to be inconsistent thanks for asking

[viaviv124]

Homicipher incorrect quotes

Mc: speaking of surprises, Crawly

Crawling: yea?

Mc: i've got something up my sleeve

Crawling: is it... A banana?

Mc: nO! It's an automated gun torrent! :D

Crawling: we're going to a candy store!?

Silvair: what? No! Candy stores are closed!

Gap: WE'RE GONNA ROB A CANDY STORE!? :D

Chopped: omagod u so tall you look like a giraffe :D

Scarletella: that's why you dead built like a baked bean

Chopped: a ba- A BAKED BEAN!? *bites his foot* BAKE BEAN THAT. BEAK BEAN THAT!

Mc: you're under arrest! Scarletella! Scar-face! Scar-poopy-poopy-butt!

Scarletella: you may be the- dont you ever fucking call me that again

Mc: what would you do if i was kidnapped?

Crawling: obviously come find yo-

Hood: nothing

Silvair: wait 20 minutes until they let you go voluntarily

Machete: i killed your entire family

Mc: huh? But i live alone-

Machete: huh? Then who were these people in your house-

Mc: there's people in my house!?

Machete: well not anymore! Dumb bitch! You could've died! You're welcome!

Mc: Crawly am i ugly?

Crawling: nonsense, you're the most beautiful girl in the world, i see you right now!

Hooded Child: Hood am i ugly :D

Hood: very much.

Mc: hold on, the phone's calling. Hello?

Telephone Guy: how do you say uh corn in cantonese?

Mc: sok mai?

Telephone Guy: HAHA SOK MAI NUTS *hangs up*

Mc: ... Well they're not my friend anymore.

Scarletella to MC: so i send u a lil smiley face

So you send back a lil smiley face

So i write hey

And you write back hey

And i say hey what

And you say you said hey first?

And then i say okay

Crossaint emoji

Fuck u

Chopped: smile :D

Bride: sweet :D

Nurse: sister :D

Silvair: sadistic :D

Gap: surprise :D

Crawling: service :D

Stitch: CRAWLING IS A BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER

*cue music*

Mc: name a country that starts with V!

Silvair: venezuela!

Machete: FINLAND! FINLAND

Silvair: OH MY DAYS. LOW IT. YOU SAID WHAT???

Machete: finland?

Silvair: DON'T CHAT TO ME. YOU'RE JOKING

Silvair: SHE SAID F MAN

Machete: what did u say

Mc: V?

Silvair: v.

Machete: VENUS

Silvair: ARGHHH

Mc: you wanna take things up to the bedroom?

Human: sure. ...what's up there?

Mc: btw did you bring protection

Human: WHY WHATS UP THERE!?

Chopped: i am very small. And i have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that i am under.

Scarletella: and without looking up at me Hood said "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair"

Machete: am i boring? Sure. Social skills? None. But i'm loyal if you feed me and i will never leave you because, well, i need the food.

Crawling: i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy-

Hood: i would. I would wish it on my worst enemy and then a whole list of other people that dont even qualify as my worst enemy. I'm not "above things" and at this point i'm existing out of spite

Gap: Your uber instincts cant handle my uber autism. Observe.

[insert him being in the fucking textbox an yoinking mc through it, escaping scar]

MC: You enter the dungeon, and on the far end of the room, you see... a door!

Masque: Can I seduce the door?

MC: No you cannot.

Stitch: Can I seduce the door?

MC: ALSO NO.

Crawling: Can I punch Stitch?

MC: ... Uh Stitch you take 4 damage

Stitch: Well I transform into a beaver.

MC: You... do that.

Stitch: Now can I seduce the door?

MC: STILL, NO

Crawling: I punch Stitch again.

MC: 3 more damage.

Machete: Can I fight the door?

MC: No!

Wheelchair: I also would like to fight the door!

MC: NO ONE CAN FIGHT THE DOOR.

Machete: I FIGHT. THE DOOR.

MC: You lose!

Machete: I fight you.

MC: Machete, take a walk!

Scarletella: Is the door dead or alive?

MC: ITS A DOOR?

Scarletella: Can I enslave its soul?

MC: How would you- No!

Chopped: Can I build a better door?

MC: ... Do you want to build a better door?

Chopped: I acquire lumber from the surrounding forest!

MC: Okay you do that.

Silvair: ... Is the door locked?

MC: No it isnt!

Silvair: I open the door.

MC: You do so! Inside is one small treasure chest!

Masque: I seduce the treaure chest~

MC: NO.