#i tried to sleep on it but it didnt really help
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#i fucking hate that i dont have anyone to turn to about this right now#all my friends have shit going on and i dont want to bother them with this again#and i dont want to tell my family that its gotten worse#i knew i should have just not said anything but it was eating me alive#fuuuuck#i dont know what to do#i wanna yell at him so badly but i dont think i should be acting on anger#i think i should maybe write down what i want to say first and then read it back and see if its like. worth saying idfk#and i dont know if i should tell the manager#i dont know whose side shes on#shit fuck bollocks this is what i get for trying to be a nice person to someone who i know full well doesnt deserve it#i tried to sleep on it but it didnt really help#although i am back to not wanting to put a complaint in about him anymore so theres that#you know what this has been going on for so fucking long and hes been acting like its my fault that hes a bad person for so long and idk#i really dont know why im putting up with it#FUCK#ellies shitchats
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Ectoberweek 25: Will-oâ-Wisps
Rating: T
Warnings: mentions of death, of being buried alive, descriptions of gore, brief mention of vivisection, true crime-esque horror, and general spooky vibes
A/N: I really wanted to do a lil something for the spooky month and what better to write than something for the fandom iâve been sickeningly hyperfixated on for the past four months. Actual prompt had a two-sentence prompt as well, and i went with both <3
- đ -
October 2004
The things everybody tells you about small towns- everyone knows each other, ni things big happens, every day is a slow day, and the biggest local teen hotspots are the walmart parking lot or the big chain pharmacy/corner store âare true. The thing that everyone knows about small towns except for the majority of the people living in said town is that their minds are as small as the local post office.
This is especially true of the teens of Casper High in Amity Park, Illinois.
Samâs black combat boots stomped against the warm pavement as she ran for the next block. Her breathing was ragged, coming out in harsh puffs of air in the autumn cold. She had gotten an SOS text message from Tucker seconds before the last bell rung.
Normally, she didnât take the Foley kid very serious. They didnât know each other that well and they barely hung out save for the couple of school projects theyâve worked on together and those rare lunch hour occasions where heâd sit at her table uninvited. Usually to avoid Dash, Kwan and the rest of their jock entourage.
She stumbled to a stop at a crossroads borderline wheezing. Running was so not her forte. Maybe it was cruel of her, but Same fully intended to ignore his SOS. That is, until she saw Tweedledumb (Dash) and Tweedledumber (Kwan) shove a screaming Tucker into their run-down jeep and speed off.
Hence, why Same was ruining her sickly goth pallor by chasing after them.
She glanced to her left just in time to see the run-down jeep screech to a halt. Christ, the stabbing in her sides was killing her. Sue her for walking. The jeep wasnât going anywhere anymore. She stumbled a few steps, feet burning, as she held a hand to her sides like that would help her.
Dash jumped out from the passenger side, Kwan following shortly after, from the driverâs side. They opened the back doors on each side, where Tucker was. They cornered him. Dash reached in and was soon pulling Tucker out by his feet. Sam could hear his scream now.
âCâmon, guys, please just leave me alone! Let me go, Dash!â
The Wonder Jocks laughed in response. Kwan slammed his door shut, confident that Dash had Tucker handled now that he was out of the car. Kwan rushed to the sidewalk to roughly grab Tuckerâs free arm.
âGuys, this isnât funny!â
Sam was halfway down the street now and she dreaded the idea of having to run again to keep those two muscle-headed idiots from beating the crap out of the geek that for some reason imprinted on her. Ugh, caring for people was overrated anyways. She could still walk away. Save herself the hassle. No one care about her in this stupid town anyways. So, why should she care?
She slowed to a stop. Her feet ached.
Dash and Kwan were dragging Tucker towards the street corner, which just confused Sam, amidst her inner turmoil. Why even drag Tucker all the way out to his own neighborhood? His house was literally a street away, and there wasnât even a bare-bones playground here. So whatâ
âNo, no! Donât put me in there, Dash, Kwan, please! Just let me go, guys, itâs not funny!â
Sam felt a sharp chill run down her spine. Something heavy dropped in the pit of her stomach at the sudden realization of where, exactly, they were.
âShit.â
She broke off into a sprint as fast as she could.
Shithsitshitshit.
Another thing about small towns is that they all have a well-kept secret. A dark past, usually. Sam found that she thrives on such darkness; on those unwanted and discarded things. As it turned out, Amity Park had a surprising amount of those. She made it her personal business to grow intimate with her townâs buried gutter.
The things she learned were both shocking and, for all her boasting, a little horrifying. Things that would be permanently burned into her retinas. Unseeable and unforgettable. So, she scolded herself for not realizing sooner where they were dragging Tucker to. She wouldâve run a little faster, cared a little more, if she had.
She zoomed past the jeep and turned the corner so sharply she nearly fell flat on her face.
Tucker wasnât screaming anymore, but there were tears streaming down his face as he stared in terror at the behemoth of a house towering over them.
In all its abandoned, festering glory: the infamous Fenton House. Even in bright daylight, the house was obscured in awkward elongated shadows, made worse by the houseâs freaky, Frankenstein-esque structure. As if imitating a childâs building blocks tower, there were partial structures jutting out of the houseâs main body. They creaked in the cold wind, threatening to snap off and crush any trespassers. At the very top, there was a round dome of sorts with something resembling letters across it. They were black with rot now. Unreadable.
Sam wasnât a fearful person, but she was a believer. The Fenton House was more than haunted. Sheâs read enough testimonies to not take it lightly. People have gone missing in that house. Hell, theyâve been found dead in there. She may not be friendly with Tucker, but that didnât mean she was about to leave him to a tragic fate.
Body running on a sudden burst of adrenaline, she grabbed the nearest thing she could find (a sizable stick) and marched towards the two jocks.
âHey!â
All three of the boys turned to look at her. She stood two steps below them, resolutely ignoring the way the house seemed to want to swallow them whole. Tuckerâs terrified face shifted into one of pure relief. A new wave of tears was visibly threatening to spill over.
âSam,â he croaked.
Dash barked out a laugh.
âSamantha Manson? What the hell are you doing here?â
âHey, wanna help us lock this dweeb in the Fenton House?â Kwan smiled brightly, pointing at Tucker.
Sam scowled. People always confused her apathy for cruelty. She hated it.
âItâs Sam, and like hell I do. Drop the nerd, assholes, or else,â she said, pitching her voice lower in an attempt to sound intimidating.
Maybe she shouldâve spent her time running thinking up a plan instead of hating on Tucker for making her run in the first place. She clutched the stick in her hand tightly.
Kwan scoffed.
âNo way. I just said weâre gonna lock him in the house.â
âYeah! We wanna know what happens when you put a techno dweeb with murder ghosts,â Dash said, smiling cruelly at a Tucker.
âHe short-circuits. Itâs not impressive. Let him go.â
Dash mustâve realized, finally, that Sam was being serious. He narrowed his eyes at her, the stick in her hand, and smiled.
âOr what? Youâre gonna hit us with the creep stick? Ha. Last I checked, Sam, girls donât have the balls to pull that off, so why donât you get lost and forget you were ever here,â Dash said before adding to Kwan, âAnd Paulina says Iâm not a gentleman.â
It was Samâs turn to smile. She went up a step as she spoke.
âLike any girl would let you get that close, Dash. Besides, I promise mine are bigger than yours. Here, Iâll prove it.â
Before he even had time to blink, Sam jabbed the stick hard into Dashâs crotch. A gentlemanly oof broke past his lips and he let go of Tuckerâs arm to clutch at his wounded pride.
âAugh, bitch.â
Kwan also let go of Tucker to check on his friend. Sam didnât waste a second and grabbed Tuckerâs hand.
âRun.â
They bolted down the stairs, Tucker nearly slamming into her from the sudden force.
âSam, I didnât thinkâ I meanâ shit, thank you. I thought- Ah!â
âShit. Let me go, jackass!â
They had barely cleared the Fenton Houseâs shadow when a large, thick arm slammed into Sam and Tuckerâs bellies as Kwanâ just Kwan âgrabbed them by the waist and lifted them up.
Note-to-self: never piss off a linebacker.
Sam knew Dahs and Kwan were big for their age, being football players and all, but jesus fuck this was insane.
She kicked and punched for her freedom, but either rage was a hell of a pain nullifier or her punches were childâs play.
Crap, and she dropped the stick when he grabbed them. Just her luck.
âYou better let us go right now, Kwan!â
âOr what?â
He was effortlessly taking them up the stairs andâ oh thatâs the door.
âItâs okay, itâs okay, theyâ they canât actually lock us in. Thereâs no key. We-we can just leave,â Tucker whispered, panicked.
âYou donât know much about the Fenton House, do you?â
Samâs voice was small. She felt small.
They were about to be locked in a horror house.
Dash opened the door. Sam didnât even see him get there.
âSayonara, losers. Have fun in the Fenton House.â
The world tilted and blurred for a split second, Samâs stomach lurching at the weightless sensation, before she and Tucker landed hard on the linoleum floor. Pain shot up her elbow and hip. Beside her, Tucker groaned.
âIf you even make it the whole night! Ha!â
Bam!
Tucker scrambled up at once, but as soon as his hand touched the doorknob a sound like a lock sliding into place echoed throughout the empty house.
âWhaâŠâ
Sam waited with bated breath. Thenâ
A low droning sound buzzed across the floor, seeping through Samâs hands in an odd pins-and-needles sensation. Red emergency lights flickers throughout the house, bathing everything in muddy crimson, and the droning sound was replaced by the most horrifying screech of twenty-year-old rusted metal scraping against itself.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Thick sheets of metal began dropping over every conceivable entry. Including the windows and, of course, the door. Sam pulled Tucker back by the collar of his shirt just in time to keep his hand attached.
Tucker yelped, clutching his hand close.
âWhat the fuckââ
Warbled, distorted speech boomed from somewhere in the house, the voice and the words long ruined by time. It was like someone was trying to speak underwater. The message was only a few seconds long, but it was disgustingly haunting. Sam knew exactly what it said.
Ghost attack imminent. Fenton Security measure Christmas Ham activated.
If she remembered correctly, the measure lasted six hours. But the last time it was activated (that anyone knows of) was five years ago. Who knew how much the technology had deteriorated at this point. They could be here for a whole day.
Sam broke from her thoughts to glance at a hyperventilating Tucker. She couldnât blame him. The Fenton House was creepy enough on the outside. Inside? With flickering red lights? Sam was making an active effort not to throw up from the fear writhing in her intestines.
The shadows kept moving in the corner of her eyes, she swore she kept seeing a green glow (but she couldnât tell where from), and it was freezing cold. Colder than it was outside, which should be impossible, but it was the Fenton House. Impossible was inconsequential.
Sam shuddered. They had to find a way out.
âTuckerââ
âSam- ohmygodSam- this is- I mean what the fuck was that? Weâre literally trapped here. In a tomb with linoleum floors. Shit, and youâre trapped, too, cuz of me. I shouldnât have sent you that text. Fuck it I shouldnât have flunked Dashâs essay. Now weâre gonna die here andââ
âTucker!â
Sam grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him lightly. Their eyes met, both wide with incessant panic.
âCalm down,â she spoke slowly. Tucker gulped and nodded shakily.
âOkay, okay, yeah.â
âBreathe. Youâre good with computers and stuff, right?â
Tucker scoffed, but more in a self-deprecative way rather than an offended one.
âSure am. Itâs what gets me in trouble, isnât it?â
Sam shook him again.
âForget that. We need good with computers. The Fentons were notorious for their unorthodox advancements in technology. Supposedly had patents on really futuristic shit. Most of it buried, obviously. But they were good enough that their security system still activates nearly twenty years after their departure.â
Ridiculously good, she thought bitterly.
There was a moment of weighted silence as they looked around the house. The lights, the rusted yet intact panels over the windows. It was eerily quiet. She stepped a bit closer to Tucker, who thankfully didnât say anything about it.
âYeah, alright, okay,â he muttered to himself before clearing his throat. âThe-there should be, uh, a circuit breaker somewhere. We could cut off the powerââ
âWonât work,â Sam stated, eyes furtively glancing around them. She had the weirdest sensation they were being watched. âThe town cut the power away from the Fenton House ages ago. It runs on some kind of external power source, but nobody knows what.â
Sam kinda hoped they didnât get to find out.
âShit. Man, what the fuck. Who the fuck were these people?â
Sam let out a manic sort of laugh. The hysteria was boiling up in her like toxic chemicals.
âDo you want the short answer or the long one?â
âI have a feeling weâre gonna be here a while. Long answer?â
A pause.
âWe should find a way out.â
âYeah.â
Neither of them moved an inch. They stood in the middle of the living room. A trashed one at that. Although, looking closely from where they were, the whole house looked trashed. Wasnât the place SWATted?
She spotted a flash of green in the hallway, right there in the corner of her eye, and snapped her head towards it with a small gasp. There was nothing there.
âHey,â Tucker said softly. âLetâs check out the windows for loose panels or something and you can tell me about the Fentonsâ own loose panels.â
Her mouth went dry, but she nodded.
âSounds good, yeah. So, uh, what do you know about the Fentons?â
Tucker shrugged and went towards the first window, by the door. Sam followed closely by. He didnât mention it.
âWhat everyone else knows. Mad scientists who went so crazy after their sonâs disappearance that they tried to summon him from the afterlife. They got so obsessed that they never left the house and just, died here, waiting for their son to come back. Pretty sad.â
That window was a bust. So was the next, as well as the door. They ventured into the hallway. There were a few square and rectangle imprints on the walls, but only one hanging frame left. With a picture. Hands shaking, Sam reached up and snagged the picture from where it was, careful not to cut herself on what was left of the glass.
It was a family picture. A wall of a man stood at the back with a practiced, dashing smile. To his left and a little below him was a woman with short, bright red hair. They were both in brightly colored hazmat suits, goggles hanging around their necks.
In front of them were two teens. A girl with bright red hair as well, but styled much longer. Next to her was a boy, younger and slightly shorter than her, with black hair. They were all smiling wide and bright, except for the boy. His was more hesitant, not quite reaching his eyes.
Sam pointed at the young girl.
âDid you know the Fentons had a daughter, too?â
Tuckerâs eyebrows went up slightly.
âNo⊠Something tells me I wonât like why.â
âYou wonât. Um, kitchen?â
Sam saw another green flash and was anxious to get away from it. They bee-lined to the kitchen, and Tucker checked the windows there.
âSo⊠Thereâs a few things you got right. The Fentonsââ Sam pointed at the two adults in the picture ââwere renowned scientists. They did some impressive breakthroughs. Like the kind they still teach in universities, but with a disclaimer attached. The more they went into their work, though, the more obsessed they gotâŠâ she trailed off in a whisper, tensing.
The house was creaking.
Tucker stopped in his tracks, too, eyes wide but lips pressed tightly together.
Nothing happened. The house stopped creaking.
Tucker let out a slow breath, eyeing the cabinets.
âThink thereâs anything edible left around?â
She glared at him sharply.
âIf you open any fridge or cabinet doors, Iâm leaving you here alone. This place is bad enough, we donât need to add rats or rotted food to the list.â
Tucker pouted but conceded.
âFine, Iâll just starve. Keep telling me about the creepy doctors and their stupid creepy house while we check upstairs.â
Sam sighed in temporary relief. She didnât think she could handle seeing a fridge full of maggots. Even if it has been almost twenty years.
They continued up the stairs, carefully, and Sam went on with the Fenton tragedy.
âThe Fentons started growing obsessed with other dimensions. Specifically⊠the afterlife, and its inhabitants.â
âLike⊠ghosts?â
Sam nodded.
âExactly like. They became convinced they could create a doorway into the afterlife, at the cost of their reputation. They got ostracized by the academic community once they started referring to themselves as âecto-scientistsâ.â
âYeah, who wouldnât. Bunchâa wackos,â Tucker muttered as they ventured into an organized room with cool colors. Light blue walls, light green bed sheets coated in blankets of dust, so the only reason Sam knew they were light green was because sheâs seen pictures of what the room looked like twenty years ago. She ignored the uneven pattern of small dark spots on the wall.
It was the girlâs room. Jasmine Fentonâs.
Tucker went straight for the window, but Sam hung back near the entrance.
âThey didnât actually open a doorway, right?â
His voice broker her out of her thoughts. She blinked.
âHm? Oh, uh, allegedly, yeah.â
This house probably sat on an open portal. There probably was an infestation of something murderous in it. Sam shook the thought away. Sheâll drive herself crazy worrying about that.
âSupposedly,â she continued. âThe doorway was one of their patents. They had the science backing it up and everything. But they⊠There were rumors, around the time the supposedly opened the doorway, that there was an accident in the house involving their youngest. Daniel Fenton.â
Tucker frowned at the blocked window. A bust. They made their way to the next room. A queen bed bare of any bedsheets, and a large chest of drawers with an equally large mirror attached to it. The Fentonsâ room. It had an extra window.
âWhat happened to Daniel?â
Sam shuddered, goosebumps breaking out across her arms. The room got colder, so much colder than it had been. A soft crackling sound broke out, like frost taking over with a vengeance. She opened her mouth to speak but her breath got stuck in her throat.
She closed her mouth. Breathe. Another flash of green, this one brighter than the others. Breathe. It was so cold, her teeth started chattering.
âT-t-t-tuckerââ
âY-ye-yeah, Iâm-m ignoring it,â he said simply, tugging at the panels.
Fuck, how can he ignore this. Sam was so uncomfortable, consumed by such a sudden unease, she wanted to claw off her skin. She tried to ignore it anyways.
âDanielâ jesus Iâm freezing âhe was out of school a couple of days after neighbors heard a scream. That same night, the power went out in the whole town, except for the Fenton House.â
The freezing cold seeped away, leaving behind a frost pattern that didnât melt on the mirror despite the warming room. Sam blew out a breath, sending out a silent thanks.
She frowned, unsure why she did that.
âA lot of people theorize,â she went in, rubbing the remaining cold in her fingertips away. âThat one of two things happened that night. One, a backfired experiment drove the Fentons all the way crazy to the point that they started experimenting on both their kids, thinking they were ghosts.â
âWait, both ofââ
âTwo, Daniel died because of said backfired experiment and his parents somehow managed to either bring him or his ghost back.â
None of the windows opened. They started for the next room.
âThatâs⊠actually insane. And what do you mean, both their kids?â Tucker stopped for a moment, meeting Samâs eyes.
âDid something happen to their daughter, too?â
Sam pressed her lips into a thin line. Thatâs the part rarely anyone knew about the Fenton horrors. Daniel wasnât their only kid. He certainly wasnât their only victim.
âIâll get there,â she replied instead, looking away. âIt only gets worse.â
âChrist,â he muttered.
They walked onwards.
âA couple of weeks after that, Daniel disappeared. But in those weeks, the Fentons became obsessive, borderline manic, with ghosts. Their nature, their morality. How to trap them, contain them⊠kill them.â
They were nearing then end of the hallway, where the last room was.
Tucker shuddered, sporting his own goosebumps.
âI donât like the way you said that.â
Sam grimaced, sticking close to him once more.
âYeah, itâs pretty bad. Whatâs worse, the Fentons called off the search party after just one night. They claimed they didnât want false hope, they just wanted to lay their son to rest. They buried an empty casket, and Daniel hadnât even been missing three full days.â
Her voice was hollow.
âShit. TheyâŠâ
âKilled their own son because they were convinced he was a ghost? Most likely,â she said bitterly. As far as true crime went, Amity Parkâs dark secret was the worst sheâs ever read.
Neither said a word. For one long minute, intentionally or not, they remained quiet, mulling over the terror a kid must feel when they realize their own parents saw them as something to be killed. And to think, they were standing in the house where it happened. Where two parents killed their son. Allegedly.
And their daughterâŠ
As if reading her mind, Tucker quietly asked, âWhat about the girl? It gets worse doesnât it?â
Sam swallowed, her mouth dry and throat sore.
âTheyââ she sighed. âAfter their son âbecoming a ghostâ, they got paranoid. Extremely so. If one of their kids was a ghost⊠They couldnât stand the idea of having an imposter in their own home. There were reports of screams two nights after the funeral. Like, really awful screaming that went on for nearly an hour, I think. Authorities broke into the house after multiple calls to find the Fentons in the basement and their daughter on a table just⊠cut open. She died before the paramedics could get to her.â
Again, neither said another word. Sam wished sheâd run faster. Hit Dash harder. This house was tainted in blood and betrayal.
Tucker clutched at his chest and Sam realized his breathing was short and sparse. Crap.
âTuckerââ
âI fucking,â he gasped, trying to catch his breath. âHate that weâre here. Weâre trapped in like they were, but theyâ Fuck, they were kids. Their kids. Who does that.â
âTucker, breathe,â Sam insisted lowly, placing a hand on his shoulder.
He nodded, but only got a few gasps of air.
âIâve been t-trying to hold it together but I just canâtâ what if we canât find a way out. What if we die here.â
âWeâre not gonna die here,â she stated fiercely despite being unsure of it herself. âIf the windows are a no go then weâll just find a way to deactivate the security system, okay? Weâll be fine.â
Tucker nodded again, quiet.
It took another few minutes until he finally got his breathing under control. Sam squeezed his arm comfortingly, giving him a small smile. Theyâll make it.
He returned the smile without a word and turned to the last room. They had windows to check.
She suspected it was Danielâs room. It was the only one they hadnât seen yet. Tucker tried to turn the knob but it didnât budge. She frowned. Weird⊠thinking about it, all the other rooms had been wide open.
âRusted?â
Tucker shook his head, shaking off another involuntary shudder. Sam suppressed her own. It was getting colder again. Tucker tried again to open it. No dice. The knob wasnât budging. He let go of it, hissing through his teeth as he rubbed his hands together.
âThe metal is freezing. It, uh, must be something with the heating.â
Sam gave it a try and immediately drew her hand back. Freezing was an understatement. A second longer and she wouldâve gotten the worldâs worst case of freezer burn.
âTucker, I donât think weâre allowed to go in this room,â she whispered, hugging herself to keep warm.
He gave her a look like she was crazy.
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âThatâs Daniel Fentonâs room. All the other rooms were open but this oneââ
ââis locked.â
âNo. Look at the handle. Thereâs literal frost on it. There was frost on the mirror in the other room, too. I thinkââ
âIf you say ghost.â
Sam glared at him.
âAfter everything I told you. Scratch that, havenât you been feeling all the weird stuff in this house? The creaking, the frankly extreme cold spots, the fucking creepy green light!â
Tuckerâs eyes went wide at that, mouth dropping open.
âI-I didnât think you could see them. But thatâ that doesnât meanââ
The house gave a violent creak, causing the floor to rumble threateningly. The temperature dropped drastically, covering the entire hallway in a light frost.
Samâs teeth immediately started chattering from the cold.
âThis is too much,â Tucker whispers, that underlying panic settling back in.
Impossibly, finally finally finally, they both saw the green flash at the other end of the hallway, flickering desperately before disappearing.
âTuck,â Sam let out, mesmerized, overtaken by the overwhelming urge to follow that light. An itch she had to scratch, to claw at until it broke open. âHeâs here.â
She didnât know how she knew that, but sheâs never spoken truer words. This she knew with absolute certainty.
âSam.â
He was struggling not to fall for the light, but he couldnât ignore this forever. Sam thought heâd be an idiot to do so.
She moved forward without another word. Shortly, she heard Tucker follow after.
When they reached the stairs, another flash of light burst to life at the landing, flickering that desperate staccato.
They continued to quietly follow the light wherever it appeared. It led them down the hallway of missing picture frames. Sam clutched the picture in her pocket. They reached a closed door. It was colder in this area, but the door knob was warm. It opened easily to reveal stairs to a basement showered in white fluorescent lights.
They went down the stairs with no hesitation, following that green light that was growing more and more desperate with each step they took. At the bottom, they were greeted by an empty expanse of white floor.
There were various metal tables, but all devoid of any machines or materials that one would expect in a lab. Because no doubt thatâs what this basement was. There were discarded cords and metal scraps scattered across the room. But most notably, there was a large, round arch-like structure at the center of the furthermost wall. It was huge, its top scraping the basement ceiling. It had an indent, with two metal panels that interlocked in the center. As if it were a⊠door.
âSam⊠is thatââ
âTucker, look.â
The little flash of green stopped by a blue button on the wall. It flickered swiftly, faster than any of the other times before it went out entirely.
They stayed there, standing, for a moment.
âAre we⊠are we about to find a dead kidâs twenty-year-old decayed corpse?â
Sam nodded shakily, not believing it either.
âI think so.â
They still didnât move. God, it was so cold. She couldnât feel her fingertips.
âWhat if something happens to us?â
âThe thought crossed my mind.â
Two dead people found in the house during its abandonment. Three missing.
âAnd?â
She looked back at him, a soft smile edging its way onto her face.
âHe deserves to rest. Doesnât he?â
Tucker glanced between the blue button and the closed, arch-like door. Determination set into his features. He nodded.
They went towards the button. Tucker settled his hand over it first, Sam placing her hand over his. Their eyes met.
âThis had to have been the worldâs worst nap.â
Sam snorted and pressed his hand onto the button. The technology down here must be in better conditions because the effect was instantaneous. Concrete scraped against concrete as a rectangular hole opened up in the center of the lab.
From where they were, they could see it. A homemade metal casket that weirdly resembled more of an iron maiden. They found him. Daniel Fenton. He could finally, truly rest.
Thatâs when the pounding began.
Sam and Tucker turned to each other in horror. She felt a visceral tug in her gut she nearly threw up then and there. Instead she ran to the metal casket, dropping to the ground halfway there so she slid across the floor. The pounding grew louder, and it was definitely coming from inside. Tucker was frozen stuck by the button.
It only gets worse.
A faint sound, behind all the pounding. Sam leaned closer, listening. Her stomach dropped. Her head snapped towards Tucker, eyes a desperate frenzy.
âHeâs crying. He- Heâs still- o-oh my g- Tucker, help me get him out!â
This broke him out of his horrified stupor and he kneeled on the ground next to her. His hands were shaking.
âWhat do we do? What do we do?â
âFuck, idunnoidunno- uh, grab, shit, shit, go to the other side. Maybe we can lift the lid.â
Stumbling, trembling, Tucker did as he was told and crawled to the other side. But he saw what was on the lid. Fuck.
âThereâs a lick. Sam, itâs locked.â
She looked back up at him on the verge of tears.
âWhat! No, no it canât be- itââ
âJust, hold on. Iâm gonna go back upstairs. Maybe thereâs something we can use. Iâll be back, I promise.â
She got the feeling he wasnât really talking to her. The pounding quieted down but there was a muffled sound. A strained whimper.
âShit,â Tucker whispered before running out and up the stairs.
Sam sniffled and laid a hand in on the biting cold metal of the casket.
âWeâre gonna get you out,â she whispered, wiping at the tears streaming uncontrollably down her face. âI donât really understand how this is even possible, but weâre not gonna leave you here.â
There wasnât a response. Not a whimper or a knock. She was gripped by the fear that maybe they were too late. Twenty years buried and they were five minutes too late.
Tucker came stomping down the stairs, taking two at a time. She looked up to see he had an honest-to-god metal bat in his hands. Fully intact and not rusted at all. His hat was askew and his eyes seemed wild.
âHe- he helped me find it. Nearly ran all over the house,â he said, panting heavily.
âHurry up and break it,â she begged, not bothering to disguise the desperation in her voice.
Without another word, Tucker aimed the thicker end of the bat downwards and plunged it against the lock.
It broke apart with a resound clang.
âHelp me withââ
But Sam was already crossing to where he was. Kneeling, side by side, they gripped the edges of the casket and lifted. A cloud of freezing cold air puffed up, obscuring their vision for a few seconds. They couldnât see if they really did save a boyâs life, or if it was just his corpse playing tricks on them. But they heard heavy breathing coming from rattling lungs and not from either of them.
Theyâd both been holding their breaths.
The cloud dispersed. In front of them lay a young boy with matted white hair, brilliant green eyes drowning in tears and a grotesque muzzle caked from within with old and fresh blood. Metal clinked against metal. His wrists were chained to the casket. His knees scraped and bloodied from banging on the lid.
Tucker immediately removed the muzzle, which thankfully wasnât locked. Samâs heart broke. Shattered. The boyâs cheeks were caked, blanketed, with that same mixture of blood, his lips horribly scarred.
He sobbed, screwing his eyes shut against the bright lights.
âThank you,â he rasped. His voice scraped against his throat.
Tucker and Sam held his hand. They cried with him.
âYouâre safe with us.â
He always would be.
#ectoberweek2023#day 25#danny phantom#shitâs insane#i wrote this in one night#yes instead of sleeping#it ran away from me so quick#i wrote like a beast POSSESSED#when i tell you this story had me in a choke hold#thereâs a lot of fenton lore for this one in my head in true crime format#i think said format really adds to the horreur~ of it all#things that didnt make it into the story: samâs witchiness#sheâs studying to be a green witch#tucker is the classic nerd#can you tell i tried to stick to the early 2000s vibes? pls tell me you can#alsoalso can you spot the teensy super tiny monster high reference#i couldnt help myself#badass Sam Manson#i love her#posted a little late but hope thatâs okay#sorry for any grammar errors im pretty tired dkdj#tucker foley#he just wants a friend pls#i genuinely like how their personalities came out in this one#will o' the wisp#buried alive#infinite constant: the trio will always find each other
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I saved a daddy long legs!
i was scared and (i know dont @ me) was considering spraying him because I still fear spiders and spider-look-a-likes
up until past few years ive been working really hard on figuring out how to save them rather than kill bc ofc, it doesnt align with my views to kill them
normally i let my dog eat them to justify it- ironically, bc "im not killing them, my dog is"
but he was in one place, not moving and i was on the toilet, so i took the time to read up about him.
i named him, forced myself to, and to call him cute, so that it would make it harder for me to go through with killing him
i tried to imagine him being curious, or scared, or relaxing. Though i know most likely they arent capable of it in a way we can understand, it still helped me see him as no different than my dog or cat or me, rather than "just a bug' or some type of 'scary thing'
and in the end i saved him! container and a folder.
i still was scared, but seeing the (idk another word) humanity in him, the value he has and that he has for himself as a living being, helped make it possible to save him
its still really hard, and on occasion i do end up killing spiders or having my dog eat them when its quick scenarios where i dont have time to think it through
but compared to years ago ive gone from saving 0 to maybe 80%
and this is one of those moments where, its not exactly possible for me to push myself because it can undo all the work ive done. and thats ok.
this is the best i can do right now and im proud of myself.
my best, is not how i imagine my best being. in my mind, i could push myself harder but thats not practical.
doing your best is strategic.
im just so glad i didnt kill him. reading about him, learning about him, appreciating his role, and labeling him cute and giving him a name helped a lot
and sometimes, anthropomorphizing animals can be beneficial. i know he doesnt feel fear and curiosity like i do, but if it means not unnecessarily taking a life, then he does to me in that moment
#anyway#i havnt had a lot of oppurtunities like this where i went from deciding to spray and kill to having time to think it through#so it feels a little different than usual#i think it also helps hes not a spider#but i can feel it made me a little more confident#and truly i used to not sleep for like at least 2 nights if a spider was in the room AND CAUGHT#and killed!#i used to be so scared i would get dizzy and have panic attacks and feel like i had to throw up#this was before i went vegan but even after#even with my mindset changed with how i viewed all animals i still would kill spiders bc i was scared#and i never even really tried. i would justify it by making my dog eat them or i would justify it with my fear#my strong reaction justified me killing them. and id try not to mention it and forget it was a part of my life bc i knew#that my actions didnt align with my morals. like i was well aware of the hypocrisy#and some might thing whats the big deal. but that little guy is part of thr ecosystem. i shouldnt decide that they dont get to live#simply because im afraid. at what point is it then wrong to do so to any other animal? how small do they have to be?#is it ok when its only a bug? id say people would object to someone killing a butterfly out of fear simply bc a butterfly is beautiful#killing mice is acceptable bc we label them pests simply bc they are trying to survive off our items on property they have no understanding#of. so yeah. im not ok with it and i hate that it took me so long to work towards fixing it.#and my friends have held it to me and im glad.
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God I don't wanna go to therapy tomorrow. Sick of talking about my feelings in a clinical setting. I do enough psychoanalysis just by myself, and now I gotta sit through it with someone else??? Come on.
#speculation nation#i say as if i didnt submit myself to this and am not willingly paying for this to continue#idfk man ive always hated therapy. just kinda kept it going bcus i was so messed up about the whole grief shit#and i guess it's been maybe helpful. i dont know.#SHOULD i mention this tomorrow? i already know it's ass and entirely undeserved#if i did it'd mostly be another source to complain about it. theres really nothing anyone can say to make it better#bc it's bullshit and it already happened. and i already have the objective proof of yet another person losing interest in me.#... i dont know. i feel like it's inevitably going to come up. it's already taken up so much of my thoughts.#my every dream last night stemmed from it all. it was such a fitful night of sleep.#i can only pray that i dont dream about it tonight too. i want a fucking break from it all.#i hope she loses sleep from guilt. i hope she hurts every time she remembers what she did to me.#i hope she comes around tomorrow so she can see the face she kissed and she lied about loving#so she can remember im a person with feelings too. a person who opened up to her. a person who trusted her.#............ okay maybe i should talk about my blatantly vicious retaliatory remarks with my therapist.#i tried to reign it in but Bitch Mode definitely came out earlier today. when it was fresh. and i just wanted to make her Hurt.#i still want that honestly. i want her to truly regret doing this. to be filled with so much guilt for how she chose to do it.#i cant change her feelings. no matter how much i might want to. but i sure as hell can make her regret it.#i feel like im allowed a bit of petty bitchiness after this bullshit. but i also dont like the person i become like this.#anger issues. perhaps i should talk about my anger issues with my therapist.#easier than just rehashing the whole breakup. though i'll probably have to do that some too.#but better to have a goal for it. a direction to focus on. so that it's not just me complaining.#... it still wont be fun. and my ex mentioned coming round an hour after my therapy ends for dropping the shit off.#so Assuming she actually shows up (still not convinced she will after she flaked on me twice)#it's gonna be therapy and then seeing her right after. god it's gonna suck.#i'll try to do some homework maybe. and then maybe see if anyone wants to hang out later tomorrow.#my friends r the real ones. hanging out with me for 7 hours... they traded off between them but still#for 7 hours i was not alone. and that was very nice of them to do.#good things. positives! focusing on the positives. i am a healthy person with a healthy outlook on life. smiles.
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im still not over the sleep thing one sec i gotta rant about this shit
#i think the problem now is that historically my sleep habits have been Really Messed Up by what can loosely be called insomnia my whole life#its always kinda just been a given that if im in bed and i cant sleep there is absolutely nothing that can be done to help#and thats not for lack of trying i have tried every meditation and suggested solution possible. it does not happen.#if i cant fall asleep and try to force myself w/o distractions i will be awake staring at the ceiling for hours. usually till the morning#thats not an exaggeration it happened often before i gave up on it. so i figured out coping methods!#namely 1) making sure my body is taken care of as well as possible to make sure its not caused by pain or hunger or anxiety#and 2) not trying to force it and accepting itll happen when it happens. and then reading a book or watching a show on a dim screen#until i physically cant keep my eyes open and then i can fall asleep. if i try any earlier than that no dice. my brain wakes itself up again#these worked for years! but now thanks to adhd meds that actually make my brain quiet. uh. these same coping methods are. not working#im physically tired and start my usual routine and wait to pass out while reading but i just. dont. ever.#like. the physically tired feeling has never made a difference in my body cooperating with sleep. but now apparently it will????#and ive been ignoring it??? bc im used to it not working? i tried just. closing my eyes and trying to lay still yesterday and it WORKED#after like. 10 minutes or so. it was fucking crazy. i thought media and pop culture was lying about people doing that.#anyways. apparently i can fall asleep like a human and not some kind of weird chronically exhausted cryptid now.#(because of new adhd meds to be clear) but i havent been because i didnt even think to TRY it. since. yknow. cryptid status.#shits weird.
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screaming in the club
time for another vent in tags
#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO#i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe#n one of them said they never saw it i said âbut you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdymâ and their fiance was just rude to me and i th#ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a#utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai#ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell#like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc#then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no#food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it#harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats#fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY#SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf#the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther#es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the#bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and#no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh#it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression#i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point#i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT#everything has gone to shit#vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.
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I feel so horrible
#last evening i spilled tea it was obv an accident but i should have been more careful it was through a too careless action#some spilled on the book i got from the library. i thought that was the worst part#a bit spilled on my laptop. very little. while i was busy with the book my mom wiped my laptop#my brother immediately turned it off & told me to keep it upside down overnight#so i put it upside down. for hours. at least 4. before that i picked it up to look i could still see the water#but my laptop reacted to me picking it up & showed the battery percentage on the screen like it does#i didnt do anything else and put it back upside down. so again later i picked it up to check#it look dry. this time it didnt react to my ''touch'' to me picking it up#i didnt think anything. i wanted to do something on my laptop and tried powering it on. idk if that was a mistake or not#but it didnt react. the night is over it's almost noon it's still not turning on. it's been in rice the whole night#but honestly i dont even know if that actually helps. i know it's a popular method but idk#my brother works in IT he knows computers he said he'd unscrew & remove the storage disk to be safe#and to call someone they know who repairs computers. neither of these things happened yet bc we dont have the right screw#my brother i believe asked the neighbor#i'm not really hopeful. i've slept 4 hours last night bc i was so worried i couldnt sleep#went to sleep at 3 woke up at 7 couldnt sleep again#i said i'm not hopeful but one thing about me i never think bad things like this could happen to me so there's always this#''it's not real this isnt happening'' in me. i wish it wasnt bc if it turns out to be real it devastates me#i feel i get swayed so easily by things going wrong. it just immobilizes me#it happened when my luggage got lost. i was completely scatter brained fully gone when it happened#i was staying at my aunt's place. she poked fun at me for how much it affected me. said i have euros i could raplace my clothes#i spent four days this way. i was there to see a friend. i felt i was robbed from truly having a good time. it was our first time meeting#i cried every single day. called the airport lost & found every single day. this one thing occupied my whole being#i got my luggage back but what i'm getting at is for one i actually got it back so it wasnt a real bad thing that happened. it got fixed#and two it just had me in its clutches this one incident. so now my laptop wont turn on i cant think of anything else#cant do anything else. and although it looks real and i DONT want to be hopeful so i can let go and not be devastated when i find out#it's irreparable. idk where i'm getting at with this. except idk i really really really want it to work again#nesi rants
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It sucks so much once you realize how entwined someone is in your life, then it just sucks more when you have to scrub away the traces it existed. That it was there, and it was good, until it wasn't anymore.
(Ignore my angry venting it's 3am I'm cranky and want chocolate.)
#vent#i feel like my hands are soaked in blood that soap cant clean#'blood is thicker than water' they say but that just makes it all the harder to scrub away once it goes bad#i loved you so much and i still do but now everything is just bitter and rotting and i hate it so much#and im just ranting to myself about how unfair it is that im doing so much better but i still miss what i had#that it wasnt your fault i didnt get help sooner- i believed so badly that i didnt deserve help.#that if i just waited long enough id rot away and be done with it all.#and i never got to say 'thank you for loving me when i couldnt love myself' at the worst time of my life.#you tried to help me. i can appreciate that#but i can be bitter that you still abandoned me. i have that right. i am going to be better and do better but you dont get to have that.#im still learning how to be a proper human. one that can learn to love herself and not distrust any form of affection.#but im going to do that on my own and when im better i hope you see it. i really hope you do.#you both still abandoned me though so fuck you both for that. im not gonna be nice about it anymore.#i didnt wanna hurt feelings even though mine were CONSTANTLY trampled over. so yeah. fuck you. that feels good to say.#fuck you for never apologizing. fuck you for abandoning me in a city i had no place else to go in. fuck you for giving me false hope.#fuck you for making promises you couldnt keep. fuck you for all the times i felt alone or excluded or just plain unwanted.#fuck you for constantly picking each other over me. fuck you for all the times i had to swallow how i felt because it was 'mean'.#fuck you for making your love conditional. fuck you for never even trying to understand how i felt. fuck you for taking years of my life.#and mostly just- fuck you for making me think i was worth it.#i felt like i had to do all the work in that friendship. starting convos and game days and INTERACTING.#the friends i have now dont do that shit. they COMMUNICATE WITH ME. Fuck you for that too by the way! not communicating!#rant over. fuck you. im gonna sleep now knowing you wont see this cuz ya BLOCKED ME.
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hello, i am in need of personal advice, preferably from a transfemme person and/or parent, who isn't siobhan because she is Too Close to the situation and i don't want to do anything brash like she does
#cis friend amy fakename and her wife betty fakename got divorced after betty came out and began to transition#they have remained EXTREMELY good friends and everything and coparent really well#amy came over tonight to talk to me about betty's behavior at present#theyve been seperated for just about three years now and betty began transitioning almost five years ago#and everything has been good between them#except amy found out from their seven y/o daughter cassie that bettys (married poly) gf stays over during her week with cassie#the kind of thing that wouldve been fine except that its out of the blue and amy had to hear it from a seven yo child#same with cassie going to a sleepover with a friend and finding out âagain from cassieâthat betty also stayed the night#and slept with one of cassie's friends moms#and apparently numerous other things that amy didnt want to get into so i get the feeling i would be even more pissed#but every time amy tries to discuss any kind of groundrules about strangers around cassie#especially ones that 1) any doesnt know anything about amd 2) are likely not permanent#betty says that she is being transphobic for asking that she doesn't just sleep with people while cassie is there and aware#i do not know how to like#help them#siobhan is firmly on amy's side and i am too#but i dont know what i can actually do thats helpful or actionable that wont hurt either of them#cuz i do believe that betty needs to have some boundaries when there is a CHILD involved#and a child tasked with keeping secrets at that#i just dont know how to support or how to talk to betty or if i even SHOULD cuz this is a new one for all of us#we created a lil family at the shop but somehow amy and betty are the only ones with kids#none of us know how to handle this cuz they dont know when to even ask us to do#if there is anything
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salvatore. nanami k.
cw: filthy, age gap
reader is 23, nanami is like 30-45 if you have a problem then go away
an arranged marriage with nanami.
your parents selfishly gave you away to him as a business move. on your end it was involuntary, but on his it was just something so he could take over his fathers business faster that required having a wife.
nanami kento is way older than youâ at least got 10-15 years on you. he woke up early, worked out, shaved his face every week and stayed in his office for most of the day, giving you space. nanami was grown.
nanami kento was also a very traditional man, hence why your parents chose him. he enjoyed a traditional household. nanami worked during the day, handled business, his fathers business that he was in the works of taking over, and you? he only expected you to play the housewife role, giving you money when asked for various tasks. he only really asked for you to take care of the house and laundry.
you tried your best to not like himâ to spite your parents. you really tried to ignore him every night when you went to sleep in the same bed together, you tried to stay quiet when he asked vague questions about what you wanted for dinner or what you wanted to do that day.
but you couldnât ignore how attractive your husband was. he was mature and he always smelled good. you couldnât help but squeeze your thighs together when he got a faint stubble on his face when it neared his time to shave again.
so after a couple months of moving in together youâre sitting at the dinner table, on the topic about trying to have sex or not. there wasnât a doubt in your mind that you didnt wanna have sex with nanami. even if you were pissed that your parents married you off, you did like your husband.
âwe donât have to.â
he said it bluntly, taking another bite of the pasta as he sat on the other side of the table. he was dressed in a collared shirt, a tie neatly around his neck.
you quickly picked up the glass of wine on the table. glass barely even touched before you started drinking regardless of you being well into the meal. you didnât drink wine.
âi wouldnât mind trying.â
he didnât have any real expression on his face as he ate. glasses a little further down his nose than usual as he finished the pasta with one last big bite.
âokay. weâll try tonight then.â
âohhnnnggshiiitttâ
nanamis cock was fat and gritty. mustâve had about a million veins on it because you swear you could feel every single one. he was well groomed as well, he kept it hairy but to an extent which was expected from him.
he knew how big his cock was. he knew it was big all the way from when he even brought up the topic of having sex to begin with. getting into the bedroom and having him avoid taking his cock out until you were all prepped and in a daze.
and nanami made you feel so full with him. could feel him all the way up in your stomach. he made fucking sure you knew he was in there too from the way he pressed and pushed around at your abdomen whenever he got a chance.
your husband had your ass at the end of the bed. all perked up for him as he stood behind you on the floor. nanami had his hands on both sides of your upper back as he pushed you farther down into your shared comforter.
âdoes it feel better like this? or in theâprevious position?â
his voice sounded out of breath, quiet subtle groans coming from him as he waited for his question to be answered. his pretty blond hair falling out of its usual perfect place but his pace never ever faltered.
it was honestly sickening for nanami to seriously expect a response from you like this. your body so hot, kisses and sweat coating it with your face so fucked out. eyes glossing over and your mouth half open, head bobbing with every stroke he gifted you.
the various pornographic noises that left your mouth bounced off the walls and throughout the house along with the even worse sounds of his pelvis hitting your ass over and over.
ân-amiiiiâ
âtalk to meâ
your new husband was quick to grab a fistful of your hair and pull you up from your position on the bed. forcing your head to rest on his shoulder and letting his hands glide along your body.
his fingers traced symbols and lettersâhis nameâ on your clit, the other pinching and pulling at your breasts while he kept rocking his hips into yours, mindlessly. your hands wrapped around both of his wrists, pushing at his waist and thighs softly.
âsâgood namiâ
âyeah?â
the blond started to kiss at your neck, his stubble tickling you but his motions never stopping. he was so experienced at this, made you feel so naive, inexperienced.
blondieeu xx
a/n: havenât written for my fav in a while and i had this locked up in my drafts!!!
#blondieeu#smut#jjk nanami#jujutsu geto#jujutsu gojo#jjk smut#jjk gojo#jujutsu nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami kento#nanami smut#nanami x reader#kento#jjk art#kento nanami#jjk au#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#jjk#arranged marriage#gojo x reader#gojo saturo#gojo x you#geto suguru#gojo smut#jujustu kaisen#satosugu#getou suguru x reader
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Melatonin is a delicate balancing act, it took some time to find a dose that helped me fall and stay asleep without leaving me groggy after 8/10 hours. For me, that has been 10 mg gradually increased to such over a few weeks then steady since.
I also take roughly a week without it every month or two, as the bottle recommends. Listen to your body and do what you can. Good luck, and thank you for the sweet gay were/pire comic<3
Yeah, I can tell my sweet zone is somewhere between 3 and 6 mg, at least right now. Or at least I think it is. Admittedly my sleep has been absolutely horrible since I was a kid so my standards on "not tired" are pretty low, so I'm not actually sure if they're any good right now. All I know is I'm getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, and I'm not spending every waking moment fighting off a nap!
Thanks for the confirmation I've gotta test with it and go off and on and such, my doc didn't give me a straight answer on that (he just kept saying take it as needed... I need it every night!!!). 75% of the time being good is way better than 0% so I'll take what I can get!
And the gay comics are the least I can do 𧥠thank you for reading it!
#my boyfriend actually commented unprompted that ive been complaining less about being tired all the time..m#like dont get me wrong. im still tired#but it has been a WORLD of a difference.#like. its been every day since i was like 14 that just. all day i could fall right back asleep#and every night i wake up every. other. hour.#ive never really been able to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time#so ive never gotten uhm. good sleep before.#and ive had to stay in bed 14. 16. 20 hours to even feel like i can GET UP!!!!#super bad hahaha#but I'll take a week of that every month or so over every day#im just glad ive found a dose and combo thats workint for me cause ive tried melatonin before and it didnt help#but that was qlso before i used those nose strips. which also help me a lot?#so i think the combo is important#and i wouldn't be shocked if in 5 years i learn of another secret sleeping ingredient#anyways. maybe i can line up the bad sleep week off melatonin with the other week that sucks every month auajjddjdjejdj#see how it goes lol#oh ive also been taking other vitamins which have also been helping#so that combo leaves me with some actual waking time that im not fighting off a nap#this is why I've been posting more recently btw lol#asks#jackedupjack
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Reading a lot of DPxDC fics lately, heres my take on the Danny is Damian's twin AU:
Danny was injured to near death and left for dead by the League as a young boy. Ra's only wanted one heir and Danny was less bloodthirsty than Damian, so it was decided that Danny had to go.
Danny is found and taken to a hospital in Illinois, barely alive. He is saved and wakes up with basically no memories of where he was from and speaking a rare dialect of arabic that none of the cops investigating his case can identify. What words Danny does know in english are concerning so the cops figure Danny was being held by some sort of murder, death cult.
The investigation runs cold and Danny is sent to foster care once his injuries heal. He is then adopted by the fentons and moves to Amity Park. As he grows the only clear memories he has of his past is another boy his age who he felt safe with. He knows the other boy is important to him but not why. He cant even really remember his face, certainly not his name. Danny always felt shitty that he couldnt remember the other boy because if he did, then the cops would have rescued him from the murder death cult too. Instead the other boy is presumably there and getting hurt all the time like Danny was.
Danny gets his powers like normal at 14 and decides that now that he has superpowers he absolutely has to save that other boy. Sam and Tucker help him gather clues, he starts to remember a bit more. He remembers the word ahki and realizes that the other boy is his brother!! Which just really enhances Dannys need to save him from the murder death cult. Eventually Tucker finds a picture of Damian Wayne and Danny is like thats him. Thats my brother.
Wait.
Bruce Wayne is his brothers dad???
Bruce Wayne is a rich fruitloop like Vlad obviously, so he is probably a member of the murder cult. Danny has to rescue his brother from the illuminati.
Cue Sam going to a socialite dinner in gotham much to her parents delight. Getting close to Damian by talking about animal rights, slipping him some sleeping pills in his vegan food. Tucker hacking into the gala and causing a commotion. Danny lugging an unconscious Damian out of the Gala and into the GAV ( no, his parents dont know why he borrowed the car or where he is).
Damian wakes up and immediately tries to attack Danny thinking hes a clone. Danny is like woah shit no its me! Its your brother. Damian is like Danyal is dead. Danny is like obviously not. Now chill out im rescuing you from the cult.
Damian, who has been secrectly mourning his twin for years, has never heard anyone call the League of Assassins a cult. He has to reevaluate a lot of things while Danny drives the GAV out of Gotham as fast as he can. Danny explains his whole backstory and how he is sorry he didnt come to save Damian earlier, his memories were gone but he had never forgotten how important Damian was to him. Damian doesnt do emotions on a good day and is unable to handle that like a normal person.
"Father isnt part of the cult, Danyal."
"Hes a billionaire from Gotham, of course he is!"
Damian who has fought many rich people from gotham, all of whom were evil, tries to find an explanation that isnt 'our dad is batman'. Danny isnt listening to any of it, promising Damian that he will be safe from the murder cult in Amity.
Damian eventually gets out that their mother was in the cult and their father didn't know about them. Danny pulls the GAV over and looks at Damian.
"Did i just kidnap you for no reason?"
"It was a kind gesture at least Danyal."
"Fuck. I just kidnapped bruce wayne's kid in the middle of a gala, am i super villain now?"
"Not if you take me home. Father will understand Danyal."
"I dont want to go to jail!"
Damian gives Danny the address to Wayne Manor and Danny drives to Bristol.
When they walk inside Damian now has to explain the whole 'had a dead brother i never told you about' thing to a less than amused batfam.
Danny introduces himself to Bruce and says that he has an adopted family back in illinois, but that he would be happy to get to know Bruce, also sorry about the kidnapping i dont normally do that i thought you were part of the illumimati and i had to rescue my brother.
Bruce just hopes this kid is normal.
(Hint: he's not)
#bruce internally: this kid was raised by normal parents in a small town in illinois. finally a child that doesnt crave vigilantism#danny: is already a ghost hero#danny phantom#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp crossover#batman#batfam#damian wayne
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SLEEPOVER!!
warnings: smoking, making out, ellie calls reader a hoe once but playfullyâŒïž, mention of sex and i think tyats all. IM FROM EUROPE IF ITS BAD IM SORRY LMK OR SMT. NOT PROOFREAD
a.n.: i dont like the begging and i think its going to be a series but it depends if i have a lot of work to dođ
(reader-đ©·, ellie-đ) you and ellie dated for a few months now. ellie invited you for a sleepover since her father figure, joel, was out of town for work related things. you were headed to her house after school. you knocked on the heavy, wooden door and waited. you also texted ellie just to be sure. after a few seconds you heard someone unlock the door and open them. then you saw the love of your life with her dog between her legs so she wouldnt run off âcome on shimmer.. stay in the houseâ she grabbed the dog by her collar and pulled her away from the door. âhi cutie!â you walked in and closed the door. first thing you did is sayinh âhiâ to ellies dog. âyou come over just for shimmerâ ellie chuckled and messed with your hair. âthats rightâ a smirk appeared on your face and you looked up at ellie. she was standing and looking down at you. your crouched figure was playing with her dog. her cheeks blushed at this position but she shook it off. âim so tiredâ you broke the uncomfortable silence. âwanna take a nap?â ellie smiled and grabbed your bag from tge floor. âyeah⊠i would love to..â a yawn escaped your mouth and you finally stood up. you couldnt help the urge to hug ellie. you arms wrapped around her and yiur head sinks into her neck. âeverything okay, baby?â she asked and wrapped her arms around your waist. âmhmâŠâ you mumbled âim tiredâ you whined. you really didnt know what was happening. normally you werent so whiny and desperate for her attention. âlets go to my roomâ ellie rubbed your back with her free hand. you just nodded and pulled away. ellie locked the front door and you both went to her room. her room was filled with posters and pictures with you, jesse, dina and joel. her favorite was next to her bed. it was a pictute of you and her dog sleeping on her bed. you were in one of her shirts. ellie adores this picture. âi donât understand why you love this photo so much.â you sat on her bed and took the picture in your hands. âi look so weird.â your eyes met her wide eyes. âWHATâ ellie dropped your bag and walked to you âyou are so cute in here. so innocent. AND you are with my dog! literally two things i love the mostâ you just rolled your eyes and took your shoes off. ellie showed you smoking weed but you showed her vapes. you pulled your pink and pretty vape and started smoking. âgod this whole day i couldnt smokeâ you whined and leaned back. ellie placed the picture on its original place and laid next to you. âwhys that?â she looked at you, then your vape and then back at you. you shook your head in disbelief and gave her your vape. âi had so much to do and i couldnât just go for smoke. it was exhausting.â âpoor babyâ she siad back and exhaled the smoke. âwhy is it so hot in your room?â you whined and took your jeans off. you pulled out a pair of sleeping shorts and pulled them on. âi dont know⊠if i keep it hot in here would you underss even more?â ellie teased. you just rolled your eyes and laid down again. âgive me my vapeâ you mumbled. âand what if i dont?â ellie chuckled and took a puff. âpleaseeeeeeeeâ you whined and sat up. âyou are begging already? someones needyâ she teased. she was in some kind of attitude. normally she was more awkward and shy but tonight it was very different. âbaby pleaseâŠâ you sat on her hips and tried to get YOUR vape out of her tight grip. âyou. mother. fucker.â you struggled. a lot. she took a puff just to tease you. you gasped and kissed her. the smoke filled your mouth as you two shared a kiss. you pulled away and exhaled the remaining smoke from your lungs. âyou addicted hoe!â ellie teased. âam not!â you gasped in offense. ellie pulled you into a kiss. The kiss turned into a passionate make out session. You ended up without your shorts and she ended up without her shirt. one of ellies hands were on your thigh and her other one on your lower bavk. your hands wrapped around her neck. after a while you pulled away and tried to catch your breath. PART 2 ???
#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams fluff#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#fanfic#lesbians#the last of us#ellie x you#ellie williams smut#smut#tlou smut
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present day
if every day will be like this from now on, i'll look forward to every single one.
ok. Sits down. help meeee i tried using csp's comic tools for once (and also gradient maps + coloring w monochrome) to save time bUT I ENDED UP SPENDING THE USUAL AMT ANYWAY SO. . erm. WELL IT WAS FUN ANYWAYS
hiiiiiiiii i wrote this script 4 months ago nd finally did it (had this on the backburner for 20 million yrs bc i wanted to get out other angst bullshit first)
the parallels of goro's back (x3) on the first 2 pgs are kinda not 1:1 as i'd like but REGARDLESS i still like them. goro, who had utmost control over his life, running it like a machine, regardless of how he feels or if he's tired or if he wants to give up.......he was in control. knowing, of course, that his life is on the line at every waking moment, but since he was always on edge, always alert, he was still in control.
but now, surviving the long winter and coming out to the other side, he's lost that control AND that edge. now what is he left with? what is there left?
very speficially in the 2nd page.... i think its so <3 YAY <3 that goro, now, doesn't feel the need to take such spic-and-span clean-cut care of his appearance.., guy who rolls out of bed and throws on a shirt to go hangout w akira and sumire. he decides to tie up his hair and forgoes his gloves... feels more "comfortable" to change his apperance, to let down his guard a little. <- was the rough symbolism JKDSHKFS
sumire getting the choco croissant but letting goro have the first bite YEAHHHH WHATEVER
4th page symbolism is also rough i didnt think abt it too hard LMAO. 3rdsem goro watching his detective prince self leave. he knows acutely well that chapter of his life is over - whether he survives the long winter or dies in it. all that he knew - even though it was miserable and awful and frustrating and dangerous - is gone.
and now there's just this: the present day. whatever that means.
i think something important to me abt royal trio is just the idea of Learning To Just Exist: no need for a "purpose" or a "calling" or some overarching "goal". they just learn to exist.
and of course none of them really have a benchmark for "wow i like this i want to live like this" so they just roll with the punches, as they always have, but yknow. finally getting to live their honest student life as they always deserved
edit: and most importantly for goro, i think, is learning to cut himself some slack. "despite everything" he says, despite all the shit he's endured AND all the shit he's done, he feels like this is "right." whatever that means, he's ready to take it day by day to figure it out. AND THATS THE WHOLE THING Punches wall really hard
edit: I ALSO FORGOT. i think the sentiment of "being waited for" for goro means a lot. since he had to do everything by himself, fight for himself, decide everything for himself frm such a young age, the idea of akira and sumire waiting for him, inviting him out simply for him to be there -> is really meaningful to him, more than they could know.
edit AGAIN: also goro sleeping in means a lot to me. i imagine that guy has pretty terrible insomnia. ALSO HE HAS A BEDFRAME! i like the thought of his apartment being so /r/malelivingspaces throughout the game. he doesnât deserve a bedframe. BUT HE HAS ONE NOW!
goros expressions in the last page gve me a hard time. sparkly....
also im SO freaking sorry if his voice isnt too well-written... i had a crisis over the wording while draiwng htis so much DSKHASKDASJK AND THE PANELING AND WHATEVERRR IDEK WHAT IM DOINGGG but it was fun!!!! exploratory..... regardless i will keep workign to do him and royaltrio justice. THUMBSUP EMOJI.
#4am again no problem. chokes#goro akechi#sumire yoshizawa#akira kurusu#persona 5 royal#royal trio#shuakesumi#cele draws#long winter#<- technically but its also good w canonverse#cele comics
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hi! đ
do you also find it really attractive when guys say I know, baby I know. or something along those lines (///w///)
if your taking them could i request jik or hq characters doing this in some scenario/drabble. please feel no rush/pressure.
take care of your self too:)
âi know baby, i know.â
ft. jjk + hq boys fluff, slight nsfw, humor.
tags. nsfw for gojo oikawa and kuroo, rest are cute scenarios + some hcs i made on some.
chars. gojo/oikawa+ kuroo, geto/osamu, toji/atsumu, inumaki/kenma, yuji/hinata, megumi/kageyama, choso/suna, todo/bokuto, nanami/akaashi
a/n. tysm nonnie!! i didnt know if u wanted them separate or just in a group category..couldnt resist not giving gojo oikawa and kuroo smut. i hope this was what u wanted:((
gojo, oikawa, kuroo
you were sprawled out on his bed in his apartment. you were gripping the soft cushion sheets in pleasure, gritting your teeth, occasionally biting your lower lip to halt your moans. his long skinny fingers scissored their way through your gummy walls as if they owned the place. the tips of his calloused fingers hitting your g-spot everytime he thrusted in. you hated how vulnerable you became, how you melted like putty just from his fingers- but it just felt soo good. he knew your insides like no one else, knew all your sweet spots and how to make you cum. he was big- big being in understatement. he was huge, in your eyes atleast. prep was needed, always. even though you hated how long it took to get you ready.
âhngh.. i want you now- please!~â you said, putting a hand on his shoulder, as he looked up to you with a frown. âwant you insideee..ngh! canât wait...~â
âi know baby, i know. youâll get it soon, âkay? i just dont wanâ it to hurt, my love.â he said softly, adding a third finger in. âjust a little bit more, okay princess?â
geto, osamu
it was 3am, and you could not sleep. you tried scrolling through twitter and instagram for some time, but couldnât. thats when you opened up tiktok, fully forgetting that, tiktok.. was a music app. and your volumeâŠwas halfway up. so when you opened it, it blasted for a second before you quickly swiped off the app, why were you so scared? well..
ây/n, what the fuck.. why are you up, go to sleep girl.â
your boyfriend was sleeping, and you hated waking him up.
âbut i canât sleep sugu/âsamu!! im not tireddd.â you whined, pouting. as if he could see you.
âdont care, go to bed or im snatching your phone away. l/n.â he growled and sat up rubbing his eyes.
ânoo im sorry. please i cant sleep, babe!!â
âi know baby, i know. what if we cuddle and i tell you about my plans for tomorrow, hm? maybe itâll help.â
toji, atsumu
âi want a dog.â you said glaring at him, who was sat on your couch.
âi know baby, i know. but yk we cant.. im fuckin allergic âmember??â he shot you a mocking facial expression.
âbut its okay, you can just take some Benadryl and youâll be fineee! its not a big deal toji / âtsumu.â you pouted.
you walked over to him and sat on his lap facing him.
âif yur tryna seduce me into agreeing, its not gâna work babe.â he put his hands on your waist.
âughhh!! can we atleast get like a cat or something?? please babyyy.â
âletâs leave this conversation for a different day, y/n.â he replied before pulling you into a hot kiss...that led to making out.. that led to your own personal problem for tonight.
inumaki, kenma (I PUT BOKUTO AND YUJI BC I WAS ORIGINALLY GONNA HAVE AKAASHI AND MEGUMI IN THIS TOO BUT I CHANGED MY MIND.. SO PRETEND IT SAYS PANDA FOR INUMAKI..)
yuji, hinata
it was getting late⊠too late. your boyfriend had a day off and decided to spend it by sleeping, completely forgetting the fact that you two agreed on walking around the park today.. he was just soo lazy :(
âsweetheartâŠ.get upppp. its 12pm, you needa wake up.â you whined as your boyfriend tightened his grip around your body. he was big spooning you, a position where not even an earthquake could move him out of.
âmmm, i know baby, i know. justâŠfive more- five minutes.â he groaned into your ear, you could feel the warm breath against your earlobe, it sending tingles down your neck to your spine.
âif you get up, ill take a shower with you, and make you waffles.â
you had never seen him get up from bed that fast before.
megumi, kageyama
you and your boyfriend were having you weekly movie night, you were under his right arm while you layed your head on his lap, using the blanket to cover your view of the flat screen.
âbabeâŠ.i dont wanna watch this..its scary.â you pout as you attempt to sink deeper into your boyfriends arms.
âi know baby, i know.. but i love this movie, so can we please keep it on?â he scratched the back of his neck.
âughhh, couldnât we just watch inside out 2 or something babeee??â you whined.
âthatâs a kids movie, im fine where im at.â he flicked you on the forehead.
âstoppp!! owww.â you cried out.
choso, suna
you two were watching moana in his room, the room was dark and you were both on his bed, cuddling. everything was fine until there was a loud noise which you thought came from the kitchen. you thought nothing of it but your boyfriendâŠ
âdid you hear that? what the fuck.â he sat up.
âbabeâŠyou better not.â you warned him with a glare.
âit was a fucking ghost, y/n. i fucking told you theyre real. theres no way im letting somethi-â
you cut him off, âgirl, ghosts are not damn real. if you dont lay your ass right back down i swear to god.â
âi know baby, i know.. but you gotta really think about it, what else could it be?â he bit down on his thumbnail.
âshut up, cho/rin.â
todo, bokuto
you were sitting on the dinner table- across from your boyfriend, who had told you he had something really important to talk to you about. some minutes passed and he was just sitting there, hands interlocked together, his leg beating up and down.
âbabeâŠis everything all right? its been like 3 minutes are ya gonna say something?..â you softly spoke.
âthereâs something..i gotta own up to.â he spoke, not moving a muscle.
âoh fuck no, if you cheated on me i swear to god-â
âare you crazy?,â he finally moved from his position and gave you a puzzled look, âof course not, its just..â
he took a long deep breath..
âwhen i was 5 years old, i went with my mom to the store. she was browsing and i wondered off and.. i saw this lollipop, that i really, like really wanted. and i picked it up and asked her if i could get it, of course my mother being my mother she said no. so i got angry.. and stuffed it in my little pocket. and she checked out and i got away with it. and i just keep thinking about it, and the more serious we get with our relationship i just cant bare the everlasting weight and guilt of this act i decided to act upon. so im telling you now.. if you wanna make your choice on whether you still wanna date a criminal like me.â
you got up from you seat, and sighed.
âi hope its April 1st today.â
nanami, akaashi
#jjk#gojo smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujustu kaisen fluff#fluff#haikyuu#haikyu x reader#haikyuu fluff#hq#hq x reader#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#oikawa smut#kuroo smut#jjk smut#haikyu smut#jjk gojo#oikawa x reader#choso kamo#akaashi x reader#kenma x reader#nanami x reader#suna rintarou#megumi x reader#toji x you#atsumu x reader#osamu x reader#mikgreo writes
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