#im still learning how to be a proper human. one that can learn to love herself and not distrust any form of affection.
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tokyoteddywolf · 7 months ago
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It sucks so much once you realize how entwined someone is in your life, then it just sucks more when you have to scrub away the traces it existed. That it was there, and it was good, until it wasn't anymore.
(Ignore my angry venting it's 3am I'm cranky and want chocolate.)
#vent#i feel like my hands are soaked in blood that soap cant clean#'blood is thicker than water' they say but that just makes it all the harder to scrub away once it goes bad#i loved you so much and i still do but now everything is just bitter and rotting and i hate it so much#and im just ranting to myself about how unfair it is that im doing so much better but i still miss what i had#that it wasnt your fault i didnt get help sooner- i believed so badly that i didnt deserve help.#that if i just waited long enough id rot away and be done with it all.#and i never got to say 'thank you for loving me when i couldnt love myself' at the worst time of my life.#you tried to help me. i can appreciate that#but i can be bitter that you still abandoned me. i have that right. i am going to be better and do better but you dont get to have that.#im still learning how to be a proper human. one that can learn to love herself and not distrust any form of affection.#but im going to do that on my own and when im better i hope you see it. i really hope you do.#you both still abandoned me though so fuck you both for that. im not gonna be nice about it anymore.#i didnt wanna hurt feelings even though mine were CONSTANTLY trampled over. so yeah. fuck you. that feels good to say.#fuck you for never apologizing. fuck you for abandoning me in a city i had no place else to go in. fuck you for giving me false hope.#fuck you for making promises you couldnt keep. fuck you for all the times i felt alone or excluded or just plain unwanted.#fuck you for constantly picking each other over me. fuck you for all the times i had to swallow how i felt because it was 'mean'.#fuck you for making your love conditional. fuck you for never even trying to understand how i felt. fuck you for taking years of my life.#and mostly just- fuck you for making me think i was worth it.#i felt like i had to do all the work in that friendship. starting convos and game days and INTERACTING.#the friends i have now dont do that shit. they COMMUNICATE WITH ME. Fuck you for that too by the way! not communicating!#rant over. fuck you. im gonna sleep now knowing you wont see this cuz ya BLOCKED ME.
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drawnfamiliarfaces · 26 days ago
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What's with Jenny's (one-sided?) beef with Ben? Is it just for comedy? Is it to knock him down a peg because he does have a bit of an ego? Love your art by the way ❤️
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It's not completely one-sided, Ben has a couple of grievances against Jenny too, but admittedly hers are stemming from more serious issues, while his is more reactory to her behaviour. xD
It's going to be explored more in the story, but for now I can explain it in broad strokes. Its all connected to the small differences i made in Jenny's backstory/after-canon story, about how complicated her existence in the world is, basically.
So, imagine it like this:
You are XJ-9, the latest, the best, in the line of robots/AI specifically designed to protect Earth, primarily from alien attacks that have plagued Earth's secret space military after their first participation in intergalactic/planetary conflicts. After the disaster of the first creation Armaggedroid turning on humanity, the government (who was primarily responsible for the choices of his design and programming) decided to give more creative freedom to Dr. Walkman, their lead scientist, to ensure that the next creation does not turn rogue.
And it was succesfull! But still, it was pretty hush-hush, so you were basically kept a secret the first 5 years of your life, and even after your broke the rules and went out into the world to live a life, you were still on a short leash - after all you were created for a job! A job that you loved and did well, but still a job you were basically comissioned by the government for.
As years go by, more people learn about you, and well, then come questions - if its a robot, wouldn't someone else be able to control it? Can it turn on humans? Basically, some people's fears are heard louder than praise for your job well done. And the government says - of course it won't turn on us, we control it. And it seems like status quo is reached and everything seems more or less fine, or at least as well as it could be.
And then, someone leaks an existence of aliens, intergalactic wars and about a human who can turn into aliens and who protected the Earth from total destruction.
Overnight, the common population is exposed completely to existence of aliens and apparently to some sort of underground superhero who is just some high school kid that can transform. And suddenly the humanity has another hero, a human hero who apparently tamed an alien device. And he became a sensation amongst the normal population, and an absolute pain in the ass to the government, and apparently a figurehead and a legend in all of space, that also spearheaded the return of intergalactic protection to the planet Earth.
And suddenly, you XJ-9, and your whole existence is put into question. The common people wonder: why do we need it? We have a proper human superhero, and a newfound presence of proper alien enforcement body. And the government is raging, because now that this kid apparently brought back the presence of 'higher' intergalactic authority, their control on the situation completely slipped, and what good are you for them if they can't show you off as proof of their control, because that kid's existence alone undermines it.
But there is little that you can do about it, but just continue doing your job, because you are Jenny Wakeman and you love your job, you were created for it. But nevertheless there is a seed of annoyance and resentment nestled in your chest, because this one kid somehow managed to turn your already complicated existence into an even more precarious one. And its not even his fault, technically because he was operating in secret, but he was exposed against his will. So its not like he tried to make your life difficult.
And then you meet this kid.
And turns out he is a smug and cheeky little shit who doesn't seem to be too perturbed by being outed and just casually shrugs and says 'yeah im Ben 10 savior of the universe'.
And he looks at you and says 'oh wow you are a robot, i heard of you! you were doing a pretty good job of protecting earth'.
And the oil in your body boils, because you were 'doing a pretty good job' long before he found his fancy little watch that allowed him to do all of that earth protecting. You were 'doing a pretty good job' while he was too busy smearing snot all over himself on his first day of school. You learned how to destroy a meteorite or an alien battle ship, when he probably still wet the bed.
And he looks at you like you are an obsolete machine that does not matter anymore, because he is here now, with his stolen superwatch.
(And later, when rage and bitterness is not clouding you optics, you will see that what you saw as a sarcastic and pandering compliment, was a moment of genuine admiration and awe, because what teenage boy wouldnt be in awe of you?
And later, when you don't feel like his existence alone is a threat to you, you will see him greet anyone and everyone with that same simple 'yeah, im Ben 10, savior of the universe' because its a fact, and you will hear that note of exasparation, because to most people it is the only fact that matters.)
But all of that is for later, as for now you cannot stop yourself for snapping back at him and watch in satisfaction as he recoils in surprise. And this first interraction will set a tone to your relationship that you are not sure you would be able to change yet. If only because your life is still difficult and because that kid, - no matter how much you got to know and respect him, and even enjoy his company - still needs a reality check to his ego from time to time. But now you dont just do it because you were hurt and bitter, but also for his sake more than anything.
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and yes its also because its fun someimes ;)
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sorry i got a little poetic, i got a lot of feelings for my backstory of jenny's and ben's relationship lol. but at least i hope it was fun to read! <3
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 1 month ago
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Morning News with Asmi 14 Oct '24
OOPS I FORGOT TO MAKE A POST YESTERDAY AND SO I GUESS 13TH OCTOBER WILL REMAIN A MYSTERY FOREVER. AAAAAA. ANYWAY HI IT'S TECHNICALLY MORNING OF 15TH TODAY BUT IT'S TOO EARLY TO CARE IT'S 14TH IN TEXAS MMKAY.
1. HURRICANE UPDATE: PEOPLE ARE NOW SHIPPING THE TWO HURRICANES. THERE'S FANART BASED ON THE VAGUE FACE SHAPES THEY MADE?? EVERYTHING IS FINE.
2. I MANAGED TO SURVIVE A VERY SMALL BIT OF THE SPICIEST CHIP IN THE WORLD EVEN THOUGH MY FRIEND WHO LIKES SPICY FOOD ATE THE SAME SIZE TEENY BIT.
3. THE BIRD, REDDIT, FLEW BACK HOME TO ITS HUMANS ON SUNDAY?? ITS HUMANS WERE THE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS FOR THE PLOT NEXT DOOR? SO... THE BIRD JUST WANTED A GODDAMN NIGHT AWAY AS A HOLIDAY WHILE ITS HUMANS WERE SEARCHING FRANTICALLY FOR IT?? IM
4. MY FRIEND INTRODUCED ALIEN STAGE TO ME LAST NIGHT (YEAH THREE OF US JUST RANDOMLY HAD A SLEEPOVER ON A MONDAY EVENING ART SCHOOL IS FINE WE'RE FINE) AND AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH IVAN MY BELOVED AAAAAH SUA AAAAA MIZI (FOR OUR PRINTMAKING CLASS, THE FRIEND--THE SAME ONE WHO THOUGHT TUMBLR WAS DEAD--MADE FANART OF THEM) OH NAAAAAAY CLEMATISSS AAAA
5. NORTH KOREA IS ABOUT TO ATTACK SOUTH KOREA APPARENTLY?
6. SOMEONE NAMED DAVID ALABA HAD AN INJURY WHICH MIGHT AFFECT HIS CHANCES AS REAL MADRID. WHAT THE FUCK IS REAL MADRID? FOOTBALL? CAR RACING? BASKETBALL? YAHTZEE?
7. I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO PLAY UNO AND I WON THE FIRST PROPER GAME I PLAYED AND IT WAS OF UNO FLIP IM A GENIUS
AND NOW FOR THE WEATHER AND I SWEAR I WILL NOT FORGET ANY CONTINENTS THIS TIME
1. Australia: Hot and stinky. Just like me. I didn't shower yesterday.
2. Asia: Wet. Water. Wet wet sploosh. But not the ao3 way.
3. North America: Hurricane gay porn season I guess.
4. South America: Cloudy with a chance of moqueca.
5. Antarctica: ...still green. I wonder why my brain said piss-coloured. Green isn't piss. I mean. Piss isn't green. It's too early for this.
6. Europe: COZ IT'S TOO COLD FOR YOU HERE AND NOW SO LET ME HOLD BOTH YOUR HANDS IN THE HOLES OF MY SWEATER
7. Africa: The sun peeks out uwu from clouds
AND THE ANSWERS TO SATURDAYS CROSSWORD:
1. Baby food that adults can be allergic to: Milk. Well. It's not an allergy, it's an intolerance. Which involves different biological processes and not being able to digest it rather than the body reacting to an allergen. Shhhh. I never claimed to be smart.
2. Makes shitty copper: El-Nair (thanks @arkytiorlecter for that wild ride)
3. A condition that causes strong reactions to panic and pain at certain sounds: Misophonia (ily mad thanks for educating me @falling-raine)
4. A decaying virtual room of insanity orgies from the 10's: Tumblr
5. With ____, anything is possible: BARBIE!
IM TOO LAZY TO MAKE A CROSSWORD SO INSTEAD HAVE THE LESBIANS I PAINTED FOR MY PRINT-MAKING (MY OC'S)
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AND BANGALORE PALACE WHICH I VISITED ON SUNDAY:
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I LOVE YOU FORGIVE ME FOR MY NEGLIGENCE HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT MAGGOTS OF MINE
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jonahmagnus · 7 months ago
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How I think the TOH characters would react to you asking their pronouns:
1) Luz Noceda
Start of season one: "Uh, she/her! I think."
By the end of season one: "She/her! For noww~..." *double pistols and a wink*
Season two: "She/they baby! What about you?"
Season three: "She/they, but I dont really care."
Post show: "Ehhh, call me whatever. Follow your heart! See where the wind takes you. Look into the sunset. Listen to the whistle of the sea breeze. The answer lies within your heart, you just have to listen" *leaves before you can figure out what the fuck that means*
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2) Gus Porter
"He/they, thanks for asking!" Hes a gay ally at the start of season one, but only because he learned about how humans are opporessed for "being happy" in their realm and that broke his heart so much he swore to stand by any "gay" human he ever found. So he self-identifies as an ally dispite being literally bisexual. Luz considers explaining what gay means in human modern context, but decides this is funnier, and then forgets about it.
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3) Willow Park
Start of season one: "O-oh! She/they, thanks for asking! What about you?" A little unsure of herself gender wise but is coming into it
By season two: "They/She! What about you?" *Winks* By this point shes grown into herself and identifies as nonbinary. However, hes still not ready to peer into the depths of his soul and acknowledge the true hidden truth at the bottom there. No little plant boy dont internalize that!!!!
Post-show: "She/he/they, thanks for asking!" This is still fully a lie but he plays cat and mouse with his own gender for a couple years after the show. Literally refuses to think about it. He has other shit going on (he doesnt).
Finally, post-post-show: "He/him! Yours?" He is a nonbinary butch womanthing. Thank god he finally figured that out. Amity and Gus quietly exchange their bet money. Amity won.
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4) Amitt Blight
Season one: "She/her. What do you want." I loved her bitch era it was so fun.
Season two: "She/they! Uh, thanks... for asking? Am I supposed to ask for yours now?" Still figuring out the proper etiquette. God bless her soul.
Season 3: "Oh, she/they. You?" This social script is so ingrained in her autistic speech patterns and mind that she acidentally said it to a cafe worker once and she almost turned herself into goo. Rip autopilot girlie......
Post-show: "She/they! :) What about yours?" She is secure in her answer now 👍 a certified category five nonbinary woman moment.
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5) Hunter Noceda
Season one: "My..... whats?" You try to explain what they are to him and he says "My uncle says gender is a sin and I should never fall into it lest my soul be lost. And I dont know what that means but I dont want him to be mad at me so. Bye" and then he would flee the scene at 300mph and have a panic attack about in the closet.
Season two: "Oh... uh.... he... him?? I think??" *remembers youre supposed to ask something back* "Why do you need to know that" he sounds increasingly desperate as he realizes the social script for this conversation is slipping from his grasp, much like his current sanity.
Season 3: "Oh, oh, uhm, he/him, I guess" He sounds VERY unsure about that. You eye the book in his shoulder bag, and he shuffles awkwardly.
Post-show: "They/he!" They say, still a little haltingly. You nod like you believe it.
Post-post-show: "They...he... it? I mean I like they and it the most but Uhm he is still fine its fine like Im still a human. Im still a human... man" okay Hunter, for sure.
Post-post-post-post-show: "she...they?????" Sure Hunter
Post-post-post-post-post-show: "she/IT???" she shoulds desperate. Okay hunter.
Post-post-post-post-post-postshow: "It/its, but she/her is fine as well. Uh, thanks for asking. Uh. You?" There we go. Glad you finally came to this realization. The Murderbot Diaries would have irreversible affects on its gender.
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smiley-positivity-potato · 2 months ago
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my father made sure to remind me of my sex, even after the divorce with my mother- for he needed me to know I was just his favorite, special little "girl" all the throughout my life. as i grew up, rebelled and learned about what made me comfortable, it began to frustrate and baffle him. so he damned me, with no hatred or bitterness. just vague detachment he labelled "love". for i was just a gender fluid, self identifying kid at the time and i didn't even understand what that truly meant for me. i knew though that i was not a woman. my father always wanted me to be ladylike but strong-minded when he labelled it appropriate. he wanted me to wear skirts, dresses, and blouses instead of so many black shirts, jeans and shorts- for i was supposed to be a proper lady. not a boy. i can still see the memory, the moment where I was forced to pack a business suit skirt, for a national art competition I was competing in. it was one of the few times i truly was upset for my inability to stand up to my father. for even though I was a kid, i still wanted to be respected and thought of as strong. i argued back and forth for awhile how everyone wears pants. but my father said no one would respect "a woman dressed like that". i remember shuffling around once at the competition, trying to keep my back straight, trying to stop my eyes from dropping to the floor and not coming back up- all because i couldn't stand the fact that i was UNCOMFORTABLE. All to make others feel better. While I had to feel worse. I remember not wanting to leave my room to wander the new city that I had been lucky enough to get the opportunity to visit: for free. For I couldn't stop thinking THAT EVERYONE had to be looking AT ME. I couldn't truly enjoy such a life changing experience - all because I was being reinforced to play the role of a girl. at the time i didn't have the environment or words to tell them im not a girl, im not a woman. im just a non-binary transmasc who doesn't want to have to be forced to wear what others want or expect. I want to wear what makes me comfortable. I WANT to be able to be happy. And I don't think that's so wrong.
Because before I was seen as a girl, I was a boy- now just a man, trying to be a human being that exists happily.
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devourable · 1 year ago
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So, I love all of your OCs so far! I’ve been wondering: how would the yanderes feel about a darling with a young kid? (To make it simple, other parent isn’t in the picture, aside from maybe sending money.) Please, thank you, and have good day!
i decided to answer this for all of my yandere ocs bc im a sucker for found family/single parent tropes 🫶 cw! spoilers for future ocs + mentions of child neglect
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🚼 the yanderes x single parent darling
⛪️ | abraham would be a bit surprised, to say the least. but he comes from a community where people get married and have kids the moment they’re out of high school (if not the moment they become adults) so while he would be sort of caught off guard, he’d adapt pretty quickly. he’d definitely fantasize about becoming a little family unit, probably even subtly propose the idea of expanding every so often. he wouldn’t exactly love your child — at least, definitely not the way he loves you — but you wouldn’t be able to tell with how well he treats them.
🚬 | the delinquents would be more like four older brothers more than anything. theyre all a bit too young to take on a proper parental role, nor would any of them have a real desire to, but they’d definitely have fun sharing their singular shared braincell with your kid. your child would probably grow up to be a massive little troublemaker thanks to their influence, but that’s why you love them, right? if the other parent is still involved one way or another though, they’d immediately put a stop to that. no reason to be involved with your ex now that they’re in the picture.
🌲 | mykolas would be curious of your child. he’s never seen such a young human up close before (considering he was always accused of eating them) so having a chance to actually be around one would be a new experience for him. he’d quickly start to refer to your child as his own, calling them his cub more than their name and carry them around on his shoulders or head whenever they go out together. it wouldn’t be uncommon to see him protectively curled up around them while they’re taking a nap.
🪸 | similarly to mykolas, the mermaids would be sort of curious about your child, though arguably less so as they have seen human children before. they have a very vague understanding of how to care for your child and would constantly search the sea for things that could come in handy for caring for them — you can expect to have a constant supply of eroded toys and suspiciously good quality clothes for them. they’d also try to teach them things that they’d teach the fry of their pods, though obviously they can only do so much teaching something that isn’t meant to live in the sea lol.
💪 | valentina grew up as a parentified older sibling, so while she wouldn’t particularly enthused about taking the role again so soon after getting out of it, she’d be capable of adapting to the role. she knows how to take care of a child and would ensure your kid’s cared for when they’re being watched by her, but she probably wouldn’t be able to establish much of an emotional connection to them without making an active effort to. but she does love children, so she’d learn to love yours too.
👑 | althea would hate your child. plain and simple. she’d view them as the living embodiment of you not keeping your promise to her, of you giving your love to someone else before she had the chance to have you to herself. while she’d never overtly mistreat your child, she’d be incredibly cold toward them and try to find reasons to avoid interacting with them. they’d be spoiled relentlessly with the hopes that if she gave them everything they’d need to live, neither you or her would have to deal with them.
🥩 | rhodes wouldn’t think much of your kid for the most part, but they’d express a gentle fondness for them the few times they do meet them. they’d affectionately greet them, offer them a treat, and hold a little conversation with them to keep them busy for a bit while you run errands or eat or whatever you need to do. they’re kind of awkward with children given they have nothing in common with them and have little experience with them, but surprisingly they’re a natural with yours.
🫀 | melchior has no interest in human kids. therefore they wouldn’t care much for yours, seeing your child more like a pet or something along those lines rather than a sapient being. their treatment of them would reflect that; they wouldn’t be necessarily mean or anything, but they’d be a bit patronizing and talk at them more than they’d talk to them. it isn’t out of malice, they’d genuinely think that that’s how you interact with children and any attempts to correct them would be met with confusion and frowns.
🕷️ | the alt kids would be wonderful parents to your kid. they’d more or less be sort of a mix of abe and the delinquents, but with the added bonus that they’d care deeply for your child as they’d see them as an extension of you rather than a mix of you with someone else. they’d come up with a system to help your child have a good upbringing and stick with it — faust would take up helping them study, anton would teach them manners and etiquette, and delta would help them with their social life. they’re so good for you and your child, see? they live for the idea that them treating your child well and loving them will make you love them all more in turn.
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necroromantics · 1 year ago
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You have opened a whole new perspective for me with the Nina & Kate ship. The idea, the execution!!!!!! PLEASE I am in need of more
MAN Ok Im very glad this is getting attention cuz bro…. The potential…
MORE NINAKATE HEADCANONS 🔥 (Ill write more proper pieces in the future, for now yall are getting rambles)
- Nina invites Kate to raves and parties, but she refuses to go due to her migraines, sensitivity to light, and cuz shes a feral killer proxy misanthrope…
- Nina sometimes ends up drinking or smoking too much and comes home sick and a mess. Kate just softly scolds her, gives her stupid drunk gf a kiss, and takes her to bed
- She wakes up changed into pajamas, not a clue what happened, Kates already gone doing god knows what. But man its so much nicer for her knowing shes being taken care of
- Kate started off being very against the idea of make up, dressing up, nails done, etc. Until one night after Nina had spent hours begging Kate to let her do her makeup. Nina leaned in so close, so close. Kate didn’t get why her heart was beating so fast, or why she kept eyeing the girls lips. She thought she was getting sick again or something
- After that, she was more open to the idea. Especially since its an excuse to have Nina touch her. And she hasn’t been touched as if she was anything but a monster in so long
- Nina is soft, happy, a loving lover. She absolutely showers Kate with affection and is horribly devoted. She has a journal she doodles and writes in. 90% of that journal is about Kate
- Kate skates, both board and roller skating. Roller derby was a huge interest of hers, but circumstances never really let her fully pursue it. So some nights Nina will take her to a desolate skatepark and Kate will teach Nina to skate
- Once she gets the hang of it, rollerskating dates are frequent. One time, when she was still learning, Nina slipped and busted her ass. Kate laughed so hard water came out of her nose, before she ran to Ninas side to check on her
- Nina was fine of course, but god was she unresponsive. All she could think about was that strong, rough laugh. She started doing everything she could to make Kate laugh, even bought herself a “how to be funny” book
- I headcanon Nina to have BPD. Kate is very good at being her FP, and handles her episodes well. It took Nina awhile to learn how to manage her own episodes as well, especially after she relied so heavily on certain behaviours to get attention from Jeff
- But Kate helped her learn how to calm herself down, how to control her emotions and overthinking. And everyone noticed the improvement in her mental health. Having a person who cared, tried, understood
- And Kate is very protective. She was with Charlie, and she is with Nina. Absolutely no one gets to hurt her, talk bad about her, torment her. Toby went too far with a joke once and accidentally made Nina cry. Tim had to hold Kate back from breaking his jaw
- Theyre each others safe person, a place in the terrible, chaotic world they live in where they can find peace
- They have their own history, secrets, inside jokes. Nobody expected the two to get together, especially not a girl like Kate falling in love. But Nina saw that humanity in her and brought it out in ways nobody had even bothered to try, and Kates patience for her sunshine is infinite
- Surprisingly, works out very well
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strangerpringle · 8 months ago
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Ok so I have this au that’s basically just The Owl House but Huntric is a side plot- (it’s gonna be a long one)
So in this au Hunter WAS Edric’s date, but they broke up behind the scenes after Knock Knock Knoking on Hooty’s Door, and we get a hint that they hand a thing in Reaching Out when Edric is stirring the potion, he’s looking at his phone and King asks what he’s looking at, he gets all embarrassed and puts it away, but not before we cut to a picture of him and Hunter being all happy n stuff. Then we find out in Labyrinth Runners that they used to date, but according to Edric Hunter was too focused on his Golden Guard duties to put effort into the relationship and Edric dumped him, and they’re both kinda salty and sad about it then blah blah blah plot happens. Now during Thanks to Them Hunters realizing he thinks he still has feelings for Edric, but Belos is being Belos and doesn’t wanna leave this poor kid alone so that starts to occupy Hunters mind (literally) so we don’t get much Huntric until For the Future. SO NOW during For the Future the hexsquad is back at Hexside, but now Edric and Emira are working with Matt and Jerbo, (also Jerbo and Emira are dating because I think they’d be cute together) Emira is taking care of the younger kids while Edric is trying to make weapons with potions, and Hunter takes notice of this. So Edric is VERY relieved that Hunter is alive because he knew that Hunter has a sigil. Now they’re actually talking and they both start realizing how much they’ve both changed, now Emira knows Edric still has feelings for Hunter, so she sends them to get more food from the supply closet, now they’re alone and can finally talk. While they’re talking Hunter says he’s confused why he ever went out with him in the first place, Edric tells him that he could tell that he was hiding his true self from the world, Edric would love the moments when Hunter would accidentally start to ramble about things he likes, but be heartbroken when he would catch it and stop himself, and move on to do whatever work he had that day. Edric wanted nothing more then for Hunter to let him see the real Hunter, but he never did, it hurt too much so he had to leave him. I’m that moment all Hunter wants to do now is tell Edric all about what he’s learned about himself in the human realm-AND OOP they almost kiss because feelings, but Edric stops them and is all like “haha uhh we should get all this good back to the others.” But while Edric’s on his way out the door, Hunter gets taken back to the moment when Edric broke up with him and his only thought is “I cant lose him again” AND MUAAHH HE KISSES EDRIC THEN EDRIC KISSES HIM BACK AND ITS CUTE IM GONNA CRYYY AAAHHHHHHH-anyway, so cut to the end of the episode where Luz now has her palisman, Edric comes up to Hunter and asks “So, you wanna give this another shot? :)” and Hunter says “When this whole mess is over, I’ll take you on a proper date, the human realm is really nice actually, I think you’d like it!” Edric replies “…I’d like that a lot <3” “Cool *they hold hands* can’t wait❤️” AND WE SEE THEM HAPPY AND IN LOVE IN THE EPILOGUE THE END YAY :D💞💞💞
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gay-artificer · 9 months ago
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i would LOVE to hear your specbio on slugcats and scavengers you've mentioned before
Im gonna do scavengers because its been bouncing around in my head But to do that we first have to talk about chickens... female chickens have this really interesting thing going on, where, despite developing two gonads (reproductive gland/organ) during embryonic growth- only one (the left) matures into a full-fledged ovary. However theres a lot of reasons why an ovary might stop working for a growing chicken, especially an old one, and if it happens to be that left one then the hen has no mature backup, but the body tries to anyway by developing the right gonad if its healthy. This can develop into a proper ovary, but sometimes you get something thats sort of inbetween an ovary and testicle, referred to as an ovotestis. (Sometimes, humans develop ovotestes instead of one or the other. This is a variation of intersex. As a fun aside to this, i believe moles are the only mammal known to have ovotestes by default. Isn't it fun how different things are even for things 'relatively' similar?) Back to chickens though- this prompts what we call sex reversal! The hen, who is still by all means a hen on a genetic level, starts to develop rooster traits- sickle feathers, comb style, size- she may even develop a crow or other 'male' behaviors as the hormonal balance shifts to favor male traits. This is something only seen in females, likely just do to the mechanics of how the organs and hormones work. Anyway I like to think Elite scavengers are an evolutionary development of something intentionally like that. While scouting groups are mixed sex, Females who are old enough for it often return back to a central large tribe 'base' to have raise young in the safety of a denser, more protected community. As a result of this, females tend to live longer than males on average and more commonly reach an age where fertility would decline. Older individuals see their reproductive systems completely shut down and the hormonal shift procs the accelerated development of both muscle and horns.
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(There is, of course, a ton of natural variation in the Scavenger population even within dimorphism, and its not that uncommon to find a particularly masculine young female scavenger; or even young females who have already begun to express 'Elite' typical traits. Or a short-horned male- so its a trend, but hardly reliable) The babies all look the same though, its not something you notice till they hit adulthood
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In terms of evolutionary advantage, I like to think that in the close-knit scavenger tribes an 'Elite' would be old enough to have grandchildren, so the process allows no longer reproductive members to become extra defense around the community and their family lineage. They mostly stay close to the primary scavenger home, although will often join wandering groups or outposts if they have younger members who are learning. (When Artificer ransacked Metropolis, It wiped out a massive portion of the wider areas elite scavenger population. It took a long portion of time for new scavengers to age into the role, and additionally a large amount of technical knowledge was lost with newer elites often being less bold. So recovery was slow, and even afterwards elites in the area primarily became a protective unit for the home base and did not travel as far.
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bookwyrminspiration · 1 month ago
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how are you finding studying linguistics????? can i ask what kind of stuff you do just bc im wondering if i might pursue it
personally I am having the time of my life
it'll depend what specific path/courses you take, but some of the foundational stuff has been linguistic analysis, grammatical analysis, that kind of thing
what is a language (what is the difference between a language and a dialect), characteristics of human languages (e.g. they're culturally transmitted, evolve, etc.), the components. what is phonology, morphology. learning IPA and the types/characteristics of sounds, how those characteristics impact how language changes (e.g. the omission--elision--of a sound because where it's produced in the mouth makes the word take longer)
what are the components of a word (which segments indicate subject, object, tense, polarity, etc.), what are the rules for where sounds can appear in a language and how do we analyze these things from data sets.
here's some example work:
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This one is analyzing when sounds are allowed to show up in a language (it's simplified for practice). It's from my notes so you don't have the data set I was pulling from (my apologies, if this is confusing I can explain more in depth).
But essentially we'd be given a set of words in a language and certain sounds to look at (the ones at the tops of the columns). Using specific notation we'd mark what contexts those sounds showed up in to figure out when they could appear in this language. Like in english B and P are completely different interchangable sounds, but p and pʰ have rules about which goes where (and are both considered to be p in the cultural conscious. average english speaker doesn't know the p sound in pot and spot are different).
In this set, the first two have identical contexts (boxed in), so they're in contrastive distribution and interchangable. Second and third have a near contrastive, (circled), which is close enough and means the same thing. But if they didn't show up in the same contexts, we'd have to figure out why not, and which one was allowed to show up where (e.g. this sound is used before vowels, this one is used before consonants)
Here's another:
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It's marked up pretty chaotically, but it was practice identifying form meaning correspondence. So I was looking at the words and their meanings and seeing what forms always showed up with what meanings--like '-pa' always showed up when the words were in present tense.
There's also rules about appropriate hyphenation, which we learned. And i'm using proper notation--like 3SG to mean third singular subject. and PST to mean past.
Of course this was also simplified because we're still learning, but I think you get the idea!
Essentially we have been learning how languages fundamentally work--how do they construct meaning, use sounds, change with time. There's also the social aspect. How does language shape society and society shape language. A little sociological. What are the theories and scholarship on that.
this has been a chaotic summary and I'm not super far into my studies, but! hopefully that's given you a bit of an idea. as a language nerd i am LOVING it, so if you're into language as a whole you probably will too. deadass considering going full masters/phd for this
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ace-and-the-rpg-horrors · 8 months ago
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hi shizurui moot for the card game im giving you shizurui for your enrichment
actually giggled upon seeing this hehe <33
well, well, i love royalty AUs!! so, they're both next in line for the throne in their respective kingdoms. Shizuku's parents are quite strict indeed, insisting on perfection, drilling it into her that it's the only way she will be a good ruler. she is forced to go through several classes to "improve" her clumsiness and daydreamy tendencies, but puts up with it because she really does want to be a suitable queen one day.
that is, until she meets Rui, prince of a neighbouring kingdom, at a ball and sees how openly eccentric he is. and how, even though many of his future subjects and fellow nobility consider him odd, his parents are still proud of him, and don't seem to be making any attempt to change him in any way. not like Shizuku's, who are keeping a close eye on her throughout the evening, even though she's being as proper as possible, while this whimsical boy is acting the fool and messing around with his friends, while his parents just laugh.
miraculously, Shizuku's parents let her befriend him, (because the kingdom he's from is very technologically advanced and powerful, as well as him being a very polite person), and Rui can detect another silly soul from a mile away, no matter how repressed it is, and gradually helps her express herself, and is so very happy for her when she begins to fear "failure" less and less- and she learns that there's no one singular way to be a successful ruler. in fact, her acquaintances and kingdom may like her more when she is not being controlled by all those expectations.
because even though people take time to respect Rui, ultimately, he's considered very down-to-earth and trustworthy despite the occassional trick- his kingdom can relate to him as he seems more human than some of his peers by not concealing his quirks.
Shizuku, for the first time, is shown that imperfection may actually be more of an ideal than the perfection she's been taught to chase, thanks to the chance meeting with a certain someone <3
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akolnoix · 6 months ago
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I've been following for a bit and I was wondering about your p4 au(?)/rewrite that you have going on honestly seeing you p4 posting has been making me think about it a lot more recently. Also you have a lovely art style!
thank you! it's honestly nothing very concrete, just an assortment of musings that i play around with in my mind for fun... might as well post some of my ramblings (apologies that it's long and a mess)
-im kinda obsessed with trying to make accomplice ending work? the ending itself in p4g is pretty great (seeing the "yu has forged a bond that cannot be broken" text you get for max social link is sooooo good) and fits thematically, it's just that it has like NO proper buildup to it to make it feel even remotely plausible.
so i'm thinking you'd have to really go out of your way to get it. like in addition to maxing out adachi's SL, you can't advance any other characters' SL past like rank 3 or something early on, and you have to select certain dialogue options (like the original game has so many mean/detached responses you can pick to be a dickhead lol), you have to refuse optional hangouts with your friends. and Then you have to choose to not reveal him. so through consistently refusing to truly connect with/care about the people around you, the protag can somewhat reach a similar worldview to adachi, and conceivably relate to him.
-izanami brings up the tv world also being a product of outside perception, but the actual implementation of it in the game feels messy and often like it's just there as a way to give reason for the shadows desiring transgressive things for shock value without committing to them being real aspects of the characters (like, how kanji's shadow is extremely stereotypically gay not just in mannerisms but in overtly showing interest in men, but in kanji's acceptance+future appearances they make sure to assert that the real kanji is not actually gay)
so i've been kinda toying with the idea that instead of the shadows as presented in p4, there would be like multiple fractured shadows in conflict? like i think it would be neat to play more off the tension between how the characters are perceived by the town vs their repressed selves, idk
-i've been turning naoto's arc around in my head a lot over the years... like the easiest thing to do would be transplant the existing (attempted) narrative to a trans woman naoto. but i also want to do right by canon naoto, who sees himself as a man, desires to be one, only gives up on that because he believes he can't become one, and gets treated like dogshit by the narrative for it. so lately i've drifted to the harder challenge of working out the logistics to make a satisfying+believable arc for trans man naoto. i've got concepts but i don't have enough worked out in this regard yet to talk about here.
-im autistic and rise has always read as such to me, so i'm being self-indulgent and making that an overt aspect of her arc. i grew up subconsciously masking my autism, and it wasn't until i experienced autistic burnout just after graduating highschool that i discovered just how much of myself i had been suppressing, and how much was constructed. it was like i had never known my true self until age 18, or noticed just how badly that repression hurt me.
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so um. you might say i saw a lot of myself in rise. she's got a slightly different scenario, but still a pretty autistic one. a child with no friends because everyone thinks they're strange, who decides to learn how to be Normal in hopes of obtaining any human connection. but because she can't be herself, the connections she does make don't feel genuine. her becoming an idol specifically is really fantastic thematically, a career all about commodifying not just your body or talents but your very personality, for a girl highly manufactured on every level to appear Normal.
for the brief period you see her in person before her shadow, rise practically has a flat affect and monotone, with everyone commenting on how different she is from her idol persona, and i'd like to actually retain that as an aspect of her character. i'd like to shift her arc to being about relearning that aspect of herself, and allowing herself to be that. even if just among friends. her idol persona is still part of her (she made it after all, and it can be useful), but she was harming herself by thinking it was all she should be.
i've always hated her going back to being an idol (especially the way they executed it ugh) but it might be nice if she stuck with music...
-yosuke internalized homophobia arc is a gimme
-naturally a major aspect is in the differences btw a playthrough as yu narukami vs femc. as an ex-delinquent she experiences more hostility from the general populace and dojima. oh and i don't care for super self-inserty protags so yu and masami have more established personalities+history+etc.
i imagine the narukami sibling dichotomy is that yu tries to be perfect and masami intentionally disappoints (opposite attention-seeking responses to their ambiguously distant parents), and in their trip to inaba yu takes the opportunity to let loose, while masami reigns in the delinquent behavior (because dojima will actually react to what she does). and they both benefit from the power of friendship etc etc
-sometimes i enjoy daydreaming about a "cross-dressing" sequence that's actually fun. where the crew hang out in yu's room or something and try on each other's stuff for fun. and chie gets a buzz cut
-while it's very true that women can be bigots, that p4 claims that kanji would think that men are more accepting of gender nonconformity in men than women is something just. utterly detached from reality. it makes more sense that he thought there was no possibility of acceptance from boys so he never tried, but he thought there was a chance with girls but was rejected by them too, so he distances himself from everyone.
and i think kanji can be gnc AND gay. for many people there is a real fear of stereotype, of reinforcing them, but that repulsion is misplaced. stereotypes are bad when they are used to dehumanize, but to be a effeminate gay man, a fat butch lesbian, a trans woman with a beard, are not bad things to be. and i think it'd suit kanji to have that sort of conflict, and metatextually to take those aspects of canon that were so negatively presented and transform them
and i think it would suit his love of cute things to eventually start dressing cutesy.
-i've definitely got more in my brain i could say or i forgor but this post is long enough
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im-not-buying-it-ether · 5 months ago
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*revives again*
I'll be soon going to sleep, but anyways
Thank you btw! <3 I'll still be a bit hesitant as of now to write fics but i'll definitely will keep making ideas, boredom does that to ya'
Now i'm like, wanting to write a fic about cryptid Hal especially after reading a one shot with this topic, but i think i'll just write down ideas so i can talk about them with someone who is willing to listen! :3
I'm now like: Hal slowy turning into a cryptid without realizing it.. bird Hal...(I have the perfect bird for him, even though i would probably make my own little species for him), lots of hurt before comfort, it gets worse before it gets better, lots of whump.. nomnom😈
Body horror too since the wings would have to, literally and im not even joking, rip apart his back since he didn't originally have them.. painful back pains before the wings actually come out, gotta love some good old fashioned "it gets worse before it gets better"
Also him hiding out of either fear or denial, or fear of being judged by the League because God that man needs therapy!!
The deep seated fear of becoming inhuman bc of the rings is so scrumptious, MMMM
I’m reminded of that one nightmare JL:U episode where that GL was stuck in a nightmare where humanity became alien to him and he progressively got taken over by the ring until he couldn’t understand English and was scaring people away.
Specifically with Hal and this bird transformation imagine the slow creep into it tho.
His appetite gets weirdly fast and suddenly he’s catching up with Barry or Wally on their snack breaks to carb up, eating way too much until he feels like he’s going to be sick but then it passes and he’s hungry all the same, not knowing he’s fueling the fire of his body burning up calories to shift. His skin gets weird and prickly in places that’s mostly covered by his suit or loose clothing as a civilian, his fingers seem longer and thinner, his hands and palms too as they stretch out to an appropriate wing span but it just looks slightly unproprtional for the time being so he’s not worrying too much other than his skin. His lips thin and there’s a sharp pain at the front of his gums, like something is trying to force itself out and his teeth are feeling ill-fit in his own mouth.
He gets knee pains and during a fight with a heavy hitter, maybe Lobo, multiple bones are broken and they stick him in some sort of med pod to expedite the healing process but that does him in. His broken legs bend backwards and the change forces a talon from his heel as his feet cover in scales over flesh, his arms grow and fingers combine into those misshapen wings that take up so much space in the med pod he’s curled in on himself in comatose agony. His teeth rot and are replaced with the beak that had been forcing itself out until his lips stretch around the outline of it and are covered by the feathers just starting to take proper form.
When someone checks in the next day what’s inside isn’t Hal anymore, he can’t do little more than scream in harpy cries at the agony he wakes up to. He can’t walk, can hardly lift himself up with his hands gone and replaced with winged arms that hardly have the feathers needed to fly after his bones stretched and broke into this new misshapen body of his. His head pounds because his eyes have shifted from front facing to more on the sides of his head like a prey species, not entirely but enough that he can’t physically see the world the same anymore. When the pain subsides and he finds his voice it’s more shrill and improper because his mouth isn’t the same anymore and he has to learn how to speak again with this new speech impediment.
Arugh! Love this
He’d have to be physically bigger too, bc yes, and have to come to terms with the fact he’s got hollow bones now. After all the angst is done his biggest sad factor is that he can’t enjoy food the same anymore bc he can’t really eat much of it depending on what beak he grew in
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faelingdraws · 1 year ago
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Ive been informing on myself for awhile and following the community on and off sometimes and i see people being usually split on stuff such as traumagenic and endogenic systems and also people saying they can become plural (?).
Most of the community agrees endogenic systems arent a thing, whats your opinion on it?
In regards to someone becoming plural, people say they do it for religion which gets me sooo confused, i feel like they dont really know what being plural means but i might not know enough.
I have a huge interest in psychology especially towards the way trauma makes our brain react so im very curious about your opinion on this kind of stuff ":)
I see it as this--
DID is when your ability to have a cohesive whole never forms (traumagenic.) This is attributed to childhood trauma, neglect and/or instability. You do not have a proper ability to self regulate. You cannot accept experiences as having happened to "you". Your brain is in a constant dissociative fog, because it is all you learned how to cope.
DID is the dysregulation of the way we medically/scientifcally understand the way our brain organizes our 'self'.
Endogenic systems and plurality, then, come from a different angle. It is the dysregulation of the societal and cultural definition of 'self.' This is why the identities in plurality are so important and focused on; What "identity" means is far more personal. I do not think it is a good thing, mind; it's still a dysregulation. It is just a dysregulation of how you see yourself and your emotions. I see it most commonly in those with gender dysphoria or who are neurodivergent (A study of 600+ college students with autism revealed that many have identity disturbances due to masking, early trauma, ect)
DID requires intense therapy to 'cure' (to varying success and no widely accepted treatment method) and can cause actual damage in the brain. It is life-long. Plurality, however, can be temporary if one's feelings towards themselves and how they present can reach cohesion again, no therapy needed. Sometimes people identify as plural during the time they begin to understand themselves because it brings them an easier time in accepting all parts of themselves.
Both are valid, and I don't like gatekeeping. The human experience is vast and DID cannot exist in a vacuum - other disorders can cause identity disturbances, too. It's best to just be kind - people are just trying to be comfortable with themselves at the end of the day and it's no one's job to police that. The "truth" or "reality" of their lived experience is between them, loved ones and mental health professionals.
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sharpscion · 9 months ago
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♡ softsmiles
i was hoping not to find myself with a perfect child, but then susanne sent this ask, so uh- here we go.
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i would like to introduce you to conall (if you get it you get it), the esteemed son of seliph and scáthach! the sole heir to grannvale, mixed in with some isaachian royalty as well. he's in a remarkably well off position, but while they are unsaid, the expectations on his shoulders are quite high.
first things first, conall does certainly have some holy blood in him! i rolled a dice to see what we would be doing here, and the general result is that he retains the baldr major holy blood, as well as some od minor holy blood. sorry deirdre, the naga blood is not here to stay for our boy. the brand of the crusader baldr is comfortably sat between his shoulder blades.
as i eluded to earlier, conall has a great deal of expectations on his shoulders from a young age. though his parents might not have left a war for him to finish, there is still a great deal he must live up to. being the sole heir to grannvale requires perfection, and he has always strived to be as perfect as possible. all his time is occupied by something productive, whether it be learning magical arts, training with the sword, studying in the library, all the way down to practicing horseback riding. he has fallen ill countless times due to lack of sleep and overwork. his eyesight started to fail him in his early teens, and now glasses rest atop his nose.
while he is extremely busy, he always makes time for his people as the prince of grannvale. everyone might say he is an upstanding noble, one of a kind even. the general perception of him by the public is that he is the perfect man. though he will accept praise with a smile, it only crushes his spirit further, another reminder he must keep working twice as hard.
making friends has never been a problem for him, he's quite a kind and charming person after all. should you find him with time to spare, he will surely give it to you... but is it really him you're talking to? or is it the mask of someone who feels that simply being relaxed or truly human is boring and unbecoming of his position. it's likely he's also been burned before... could he truly trust a persons intentions when they simply found their way into his path? he had heard the stories, after all, about those who would whisper in your ear.
while conall is generally insincere with others as a necessity for people to think him proper of his place, he is rather relaxed in the presence of his family. his relationship with seliph is likely pretty great! having a dad like seliph, im sure just being around him makes his expectations feel lighter. if he is of the same blood as a man as kind and genuine as seliph, surely he too will reach that one day. he loves seliph... and so he could never tell him just how tied down. seliph probably already expects as much, though.
scáthach and conall are likely very close as well, of course they would be, scáthach likely never lets the boy out of his sight. while some kids might find it smothering, conall has always found his father's watchful eyes comforting. he would be hard pressed to find his father speak from his heart truly, and so he takes these small actions as confirmation of love. though his 'reminders' to relax are mildly annoying, he can count on scáthach to help him if he needs it. conall will feel more akin to his dad, sort of like an outsider in his own castle... which leads them to sometimes talk in the dead of night, where seliph can't hear. though i wish i could say scáthach gives good advice in these times, he can only give his son the drive and encouragement to keep pushing forward.
sometimes he makes 'diplomatic' trips to isaach, where he is absolutely smothered by his aunt larcei. if conall had not been accustomed to her since childhood, he likely would feel incredibly uncomfortable. even so, he could only admire his free spirit of an aunt, who he loves dearly. in isaach, even he can let go of his burdens, though not completely... thankfully larcei is there to give him a hand when he stumbles. he has a truly supportive family.
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lostmyremembrall · 1 year ago
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ohh and also from the same anon who's esfp and in hufflepuff, a missing thing i forgot to include — although im an active person who loves activities, im not competitive and sometimes is scared of competitive people 🥹 yes i'll try my hardest to win but what matters is im having fun 👍🏻
🐍 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐂 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐨𝐦
A/N: I am so sorry this took so long to reply to! Tumblr somehow deleted the draft that I was ready to publish. I'm relieved I still remember most of what I've written in the previous one, but I'm sorry if I miss anything.
𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝐽𝑜𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 1𝐾 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡! Now closed
You met Tom through being paired for a Charms project.
The first impression that left Tom's lips after you left, was "Well she's just a ball of sunshine, isn't she."
If he’s being completely honest, he was jealous of you first.
Smile and friendliness came easy to you, compared to him.
Tom felt like you just had it easier than him. A life handed to you on a silver platter. That’s why you’re able to find reasons to smile. To be kind to others.
But, Tom found it easy to work with you, really that came as no surprise. So the project moved smoothly.
One night, you joined him in the library, feeling especially rotten.
This boy had been name-calling and harassing you. And it didn’t help that others expected you to still keep smiling, as if you aren’t allowed to be anything but happy.
You bit down on your lips, and the tears began rolling down your cheeks involuntarily.
Tom was taken aback, not having expected that you were able to shed a tear.
Tom knew that feeling. To feel like you have to pretend you were okay, even when the world was cruel to you.
Tom bit his lips, his eyes guiltily flickering between you and his own book, unsure how to respond. He wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to look at you cry.
You let out a restrained sob, still trying to focus on the project at hand in the quiet hours of the library.
Tom couldn’t bare it anymore.
“Come with me,” he mumbled out of nowhere, taking your hand.
“Huh?”
Confused, you still followed him. A long walk up the stairs to the Astronomy tower.
Tom had no idea what he was doing. He had no clue whether this was the proper way to ‘fix’ you. But, he knew this place helped Tom.
It was the Astronomy Tower.
Chilly, but the quiet stars shimmering above you.
“You can cry to your heart’s content here. Hell, you could even curse and shout and nobody would come to disturb you.”
“I’ll be guarding at the stairs so nobody would come disturb.”
Tom pulled his lips into a strained smile before leaving.
He paused before descending however, having second thoughts.
He came back to you again to wrap his Slytherin scarf snugly around you.
Then, he disappeared behind the stairs.
Tom sat at the bottom of the stairs, well out of earshot.
It was a revelation: that you could get sad.
A lesson well learned, that at the end of the day, nobody knew what was happening in others’ lives. That Tom shouldn’t sulk in bitterness that everyone else had it easier.
Tom noticed how much he missed seeing you smile.
It never occurred to him that your smile and your friendly conversations had become an escape for him, from his nightmarish life.
“Tom?”
He jumped, dropping the wand that he was playing with.
“Thank you,” You joined him on the stairs.
It was strange, to be comforted by Tom Riddle, out of all people.
A simple ‘your welcome’ would have sufficed. But, Tom found himself murmuring, “Don’t particularly enjoy watching you cry.”
Your eyes widened, caught off guard by the forward sentiment.
“Nobody seems to,” you murmured bitterly.
Tom hummed, the conversation breaching an intriguing topic of human empathy: Nobody really enjoyed seeing others sad. Did they?
“Doesn’t mean you should care,” Tom blurted out. “Cry, cuss, scream all you want. Get depressed. Get angry. We’re only humans.”
You hummed, your shoulders relaxing at the idea that at least someone was accepting of all your raw emotions.
You felt the soft cotton of his scarf against your cheeks. It smelled like him: like pines and old books.
“Actually, you’ve come to the right person,” Tom smirked at his own joke. “There’s no other house than Slytherin that does ‘get depressed and angry’ better.”
A chuckle escaped your lips.
Tom’s eyes turned and found yours, his lips breaking into a smile as well at the sight of you laughing.
It felt special. This moment they shared in the dead of the night, just laughing at a joke that wasn’t even supposed to be that funny.
Tom blinked slowly at the sight of you, the laughter eventually dying on your lips, realising he enjoyed seeing you smile.
When he blurted out the question, it wasn’t ‘What happened?’ It was “Who was it?”
You waved your hand away. “Doesn’t matter anymore.”
Not wanting to press you when you’ve already had a rough night, Tom only nodded.
Needless to say, Tom was quick to find out the culprit
He had gone on to take a mysterious leave of absence
Ever since then, he has become your unofficial bodyguard/boyfriend
Gets VERY possessive and protective of you
Wants all of your sunshine (your smile, kindness, attention) for himself
But, he reluctantly shares
Prefers to have his arm wrapped around you to show who exactly they’ll be messing with if anyone dares to hurt you
Sometimes, you hear the whispers “Does she actually enjoy spending time with him?” “How the hell do they get on together.”
But they’re usually quick to be silenced by Tom’s glare.
You and Tom are perfect for each other.
You eventually found that Tom feels emotions quite strongly. He's just good at hiding them, and pretending that he's all logic and reason.
It helps Tom that you are innately good at reading people's emotions, able to offer your presence and advice and cater to what Tom needs the most at the moment.
You eventually opened up about feeling like not being able to talk to anyone. Your family or your friends.
Every time you needed to feel your negative emotions, he'd wrap his arms around you. Resting his head on top of yours.
"Embrace it, Y/N. No use pretending it's not there," he would talk about your negative emotions, whatever they may be.
He reassures you that, at least in front of him, you are able to feel whatever you'd like, however much you'd like.
He would spend hours, however long you need, just cradling you like that.
He would finally pull away when he starts to hear your breathing even out.
He thumbs away your tears, and smiles when he finally begins to see a hint of smile return to your face.
Tom is quick to intuit that your love language is words of affirmation.
He begins to do more than reassurance for when you're feeling upset.
He would randomly kiss your hand, peck your cheeks, or press his lips to yours during the day - when you pass by him in the corridors, in the Great Hall, the library.
"Radiant as ever, my love."
He smirks, knowing the effect this has on you.
Once he admits it, he doesn't shy away from telling you how much you mean to him. How much he adores you. How much he admires you for your intellect, strength, and courage.
Since there is intellect, strength, and courage required in allowing yourself to feel emotions.
"I'd do anything to keep you happy," he murmurs one day out of nowhere, brushing a lazy finger down your cheek.
"I'd kill for you. I'd break the world hundred times over if it means I get to see you smile."
Tom is a bit intense, you find.
But, a sweet sentiment nonetheless.
Your typical date would be: a trip to Hogsmeade
You introduce Tom to all the delights of the world
Tom rolls his eyes and reluctantly lets you lead his hand
But, you both know he secretly enjoys it
First. Anything that you find delightful, Tom wants to know all about it.
Second. Your laughter and excited giggle are music to his ears.
Third, he admittedly enjoys the process of finding small pleasures in life. To see life from your perspective.
Another reason to smile.
On top of getting to spend time with you.
That includes Honeydukes, Zonko’s, Butterbeer
He loves watching you smile with a foam of butterbeer on your lips
Seems very appropriate to him: A laughter, the warm fireplace, the sweet golden butterbeer that is literally sunshine in a bottle, and you. They all represent something perfect. A little ball of sunshine that he found and will never dare let go of.
These dates would typically end with him, leaning into you out of nowhere with a smitten smirk.
He holds your chin, and kisses your butterbeer foam away.
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