#i may or may not be in crisis mode

[kasarian]

im glad to be friends with one person who at least gets me and is so very patient with me even tho we dont talk much bc of timezones because if not i wouldve been worst off. recently been reaffirmed again and again that the world will keep blaming me for things i never did and will nitpick me of my mistakes because i forgot left something a mess after my routine of cleaning consistently or something like that.

[onyxmistkes]

LITERALLY SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THE TOP DRAWING LIKE HOW DID I EVEN DO THAT???

the second image is so messy and my hands have lost the ability to transfer my mind's image onto the canvas because I apparently used up all my skills on the illustration part but I still wanted to draw this interaction and arhgHHHGBHJBNIJNJIK

I did not expect Marvel x DC (specifically Spiderman x Batfam) crossovers to be my new obsession but here we are

If you're looking for a good read I would highly recommend Existential Crisis Mode written by @luciaintheskyainthi!!! The writing is beautiful and the character interactions are pure gold :D

[thedreadvampy]

lmao it is undeniably true that I am Depressi Spaghetti but you know. fuck it we continue.

[mxtxfanatic]

There’s something very tragic about the first king of Yong’an, Lang Ying that I feel both reflects Xie Lian in his almost-corruption era and also serves as a lesson for Xie Lian during his second banishment era.

Lang Ying loses his wife and young son to the drought in the city of Yong’an, only to be faced with the cruelty of the Xianle court who would rather preserve themselves and their status than help their suffering citizens. Xie Lian is the only noble to help him (by preventing Qi Rong from arresting him for stealing coins from a fountain, offering the man water, helping him bury his son, and then offering him his priceless pearl earrings that Xie Lian had used in the ill-fated Lantern Festival parade), and in return Lang Ying leads the Yong’an refugees in overthrowing the nation of Xianle and installing the nation of Yong’an over its ashes, the drought long over. In this ironic twist, Xie Lian breaking with the Xianle nobles to save Lang Ying’s life caused Xie Lian to lose his kingdom and loved ones, reversing their positions from beloved prince and impoverished commoner to beloved king and banished commoner. Now, they’ve both experienced a mirrored tragedy, though with different causes.

You’d think this would be a story of a man getting his due after experiencing injustice at the hands of the precious kingdom’s rulers, but no. Lang Ying is not satisfied with this takeover; he feels guilty. When Xie Lian goes to kill him, he still has the red pearl earring Xie Lian gave him. He tells Xie Lian that he always wanted to thank him for having given it to him, even if the help had come too late. This is also not the story of a man exacting vengeance for having his kindness repayed with “treachery.” Yes, Xie Lian in that moment was caught up in how Lang Ying seemed to have lived a “good life” and died relatively peacefully, but in later refusing to demolish the original city of Yong’an after realizing the error of following resentment, I feel like Xie Lian was at least partially influenced by Lang Ying’s death.

Lang Ying became king of a new kingdom, but he never got his wife and son back. In fact, his unwillingness to move on from the past, his regrets and fears and resentment, led to him (willingly!) being infected by the Human Face Disease. Yet on some level, he knew his thirst for vengeance—particularly in destroying the life of the one man who tried to help him—led to him being puppeteered by an even greater monster and having to forsake the part of him that wanted to repay a young man’s kindness. He didn’t die a proud king; he died a broken man filled with regrets. Xie Lian could have very well followed this same path: never releasing his regrets and resentment of what led to the fall of Xianle, always chasing those former pleasant memories by disgracing your morals in the present, and eventually being deposed by a victim of his actions. He consciously chooses not to.

Xie Lian is able to learn the lesson Lang Ying wasn’t given the chance to, and in doing so, he breaks out of the cycle of vengeance that Jun Wu was attempting to manipulate him into. I feel like his interactions and history with Lang Ying, as a result, would be good sources of heavy reflection and inspiration for his actions in his second banishment and third ascension.

[riheinorn]

botw/totk link will forever be so special to me. the dichotomy of the feral little goblin kid that eats rocks and builds hyrule's first korok roller coaster, and the incredibly scary person who can best 5 lynels at the same time in less than 30 seconds combined is just. chefs kiss. yes he's both. he can be so silly people will straight up think he's joking when he says his name is link because no one expects the hero of hyrule to look Like That and catch lizards with his mouth. But then also in the same vein when he has to get serious, he WILL become an unstoppable force that can singlehandedly fight off an entire horde of monsters, and none who see him do that will ever doubt him ever again.

Link woke up with nothing after resting for a long time (TWICE EVEN), disoriented, immediately used some random sticks he found somewhere and in his hands, they turned into the deadliest sticks in the continent. He dives off cliffs and opens the paragilder 0.005 seconds away from landing head first on the ground. He (kinda) brushes off [the beginning of totk], multiple assassination attempts and Ganon's special troops meant to destroy him specifically. The Yiga clan are so bad at even getting a dent into him they look like comedic relief, while to the regular people in Hyrule they're deadly and terrifying, especially to the Sheikah. He won't die. He is Hylia's specialest little cockroach.

he's also absolutely shredding it on a shield like crazy. the people at the stables have an internal bet going on what type of definitely-not-horse Link will try to register next. last week it was a bear. next week it's the satori he "just found somewhere". someone once saw him fall out of a tree and he immediately tried to stuff 5 apples into his mouth. he jumps into every well he finds.

[age-of-moonknight]

“Soldier,” Vengeance of the Moon Knight (Vol. 2/2024), #3.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

[quasieli]

I feel a little more alive today. I reached out to a crisis text line last night (just for any sort of guidance) and it did actually help a bit. I got some resources for job search and low cost therapy, and funny enough, the person I was talking to was also named Elijah. They were nice and I'm glad I spoke to them. It felt weird at first but talking did at least help distract me enough for my brain to settle down a bit. So thanks from one Elijah to another.

[indiegame]

i was supposed to move shit and do plant things but honestly i'm just drained

[highwayphantoms]

well

everything's gone to shit, as usual

happy fucking birthday to me.

[mesetacadre]

(sorry in advance for the more personal ask, you're the most intelligent person i know of when it comes to these things)

genuinely, how are we supposed to find the strength to go on? it feels like capitalism has won. only a few decades ago my country was openly and proudly socialist, and now we're nothing but an american military base with an economy. everything's been privatised, the unions are broken, the people are starving, and we keep voting for more of this! people are gleefully begging for yet more exploitation! sometimes it feels there's not a drop of class consciousness to be found in the entire country, and that it's pointless to even hope for change. how can i stay sane?

The class struggle is not a team sport which either side can win or lose. It is a historical and economic process, one that's inevitable. As long as capitalism exists, there will be a social majority of workers it must exploit, alienation will still happen, and a portion of these workers will be aware of this fact. The class struggle is also a long process, one that, most of the time, is imperceptible to the individual in physical and time scale. Only sometimes, it accelerates to dizzying speeds and the conditions necessary for taking power are met. We can talk about victories and defeats, but we can't lose sight of the fact that those "only" are points in time, momentaneous advances or retreats in the process that is the class struggle, but they never mean the paralization of this process.

We can only really talk about the bourgeoisie taking power and creating the first properly capitalist states in the late 18th century and early 19th, but the bourgeoisie had lead or taken part in attempts at or glimpes of revolution as far back as the early 16th century. The bourgeoisie never really had an unifying theory of the class struggle, most were never really fully conscious of it. But they still eventually took power, once the development of the national economies advanced so far that it forced the replacement of the feudal mode of production, the bourgeois revolutions became inevitable. Marx and Engels only ever saw one real attempt at the proletariat taking power, in the Paris Commune of 1871, but it only ever lasted a few months. They both were long dead when the first actually (relatively) long-lasting instance of the proletariat in power broke the oppressor classes' veneer of invincibility.

When Marxists talk of inevitability it is not in a conspiratorial manner, or an expression of satisfied optimism, we never mean that "one day the capitalists will get what's coming to them", in a vague way. We mean that, only if communists continue to work towards the revolutionary organization of our class, is a complete overthrow of capitalism inevitable. We should all do an exercise is historical perspective when it comes to analyzing progress, take the Marx and Engels example from the previous paragraph, they never got to see an effective application of their theories. Class consciousness will fluctuate continuously, it always has. The bolshevik party in 1913 had nothing to do with the party that lead the October Revolution, and 8 years after the defeat of the 1905 revolution, I bet many felt like their work was hopeless. My point is that, while the borders of the Communist Party may shrink, grow, or even disappear, and while we might be savagely oppressed, no system of oppression has ever lasted forever.

When it comes to revolutions, there are objective and subjective conditions. The objective we can never control; it's the stability of capitalism, the characteristics of its suprastructure, if there is a crisis or not. The subjective is what's under our control; our own work as communists, the state of the revolutionary party, the degree of influence of communists at the core of the working class. These two sets of conditions interact with one another, with the objective conditions influencing the possibility of development of the subjective conditions much more than the reverse. What makes you hopeless is in part the objective conditions. Capitalism is quite stable right now (though not as much as it ever seems), and, for now, we can't do much about it, because the subjective conditions, the other part of your homelessness, are also very delayed. But these we do have control over, at first very little, but as they improve, the control we have over them also increases. Essentially, friend, all we can do is prepare our class, do our best to gain more workers to our cause, bit by bit, so that once capitalism shows one of its cracks, we can be ready to pry those cracks open and bust the whole system. The Russian soldiers in WW1 were already discontent when the bolsheviks began to agitate up to the trenches, Mao's guerrillas grew to an army taking advantage of the deep fragmentation China suffered throughout the first half of the century, etc.

Once again, class struggle is not a straight line that we move in two directions. It is a complex space. The overthrow of the USSR was a very profound blow to revolutionary organizations all around the world, of course, but the state of communism in general in 1995 was still in a much better position than it was merely 90 years prior. Every defeat also sharpens the tactics and strategies we use. Eastern Europe (where I assume you're from) did use to be socialist, and those worker's states were overthrown. But you are still in a better position than a communist in the interwar period, facing borderline fascistic dictatorship and a future of Nazi-Fascist occupation. They did not have any precedent or much practical experience to learn from, but you do. Every day that we delay work, even in the most hopeless of contexts, is a day more that our grandchildren will have to bear in capitalism, and a day more they're deprived of true freedom and self-government

[mari-lair]

Let's talk about Nene and how she find power in other people.

Nene gets overwhelmed easily and is very insecure, not just about her body but about her power, and smarts too.

When she thought Hanako may like her she wasn't sure about her judgement, but when Aoi who never even met hanako said 'oh yeah, he likes you~' she became far more confident.

Aoi must have been her reassurance for most of Nene's school life, so much so that when Aoi tells her "he might confess to you in the confession tree <3" Nene acts like that's the truth and spend the rest of the chapter giggily waiting for it.

She is right that Hanako have a crush on her, but when he start hiding behind excuses, she believes it right away. She never consider that his excuses and his feelings can both be true, she trust what he says more than her own judgement

When she started getting involved with the supernatural she start getting more and more doubts about herself. Her issues growing from the simple 'do they find me cute? can i get a boyfriend?' to questions about what is right and how much power she have.

She have a crisis when she learns Hanako used to be a living student, with a real life, who killed a real person. She become so helpless by this realization that she can't look at him in the eye.

Reality is so overwhelming, that she keep running away from Hanako.

There is no "Hanako is my friend anyways! His life doesn't matter what matter is the now!! Let's gooo!!" self talk in the garden. She want to hide. To give up.

Kou is the one that come to her side and reassure Nene that her feelings are valid, that not knowing what to is alright. That there is nothing wrong with being overwhelmed and doing all you can do, even when 'all you can do' isn't much.

They find strenght in each other.

Throught the entire manga Kou is there to cheer Nene up or to back up her plans. They are in this together.

Break the fake world? Rescue Hanako? Go to the Red House cause a kid is crying?? That's a Nene and Kou plan. That's their team effort. They got each other's back! They can do it!

Even when the idea isn't that good, Kou constantly cheer her, rewarding Nene for trying instead of giving up.

Most of the time Hanako is with Kou cheering her up, albeit not as upfront, being his indirect and 'haha just kidding i would die if i was vulnerable!' self.

Regardless, Nene got support through every step of this new and scary supernatural world!

Or at least... most of the time. Let's go over the instances where times were tough and Nene didn't have Kou and Hanako by her side. The times when she become her most vulnerable and insecure. She ceases to be "Your overwhelming grass type and beloved heroine Yashiro Nene!" and becomes Nene, the insecure high school girl.

When she learned about her death she was lost and confused, she didn't try to imply she could conquer death, she couldn't do anythnig, so she asked for guidance.

When she was given no real answer, just cryptic orders to stay in her caje forever cause hanako will 'solve everything', Nene was even more lost. And she was alone. No one to talk to in her time of need, no one to cheer her up.

We have no panels of her trying to break her window of wiggle between her caje bars because she isn't determined, she was devastated. So she cried and cried and tried to comfort herself

ONLY AFTER who knows how many doodles and time to process her feelings does her hopelessness turn into anger for Hanako and determination to change her situation.

She only fully enter "I will fight this! I can do it!! I won't do what Hanako want!!" mode after Mei visits her with a friendly dispossition and comforts her, giving her sweets to soothe her heart and give her energy.

Nene say her tears are false here, a mere ploy to make Mei lower her guard!! But it is rotted in real sadness.

The fire she gained after doodling her friends in the real world only spread into an inferno of determination when she is told she is deeply loved, that Hanako would sacrifice everything for her sake. That love is why this was made in the first place.

This world want to protect her, not kill her. Her hapiness is cheerished. And she isn't happy. She haven't loss the real world yet, she can still change things.

She was already determined to change things, but she doubles down on it, she gain more confidence and becomes bolder. She will kick and scream and try her best to win! Is amazing. She is sweating but she know what she is doing is right so she will do it!!

Throught the manga, as the time passes she start to stand up for herself more, she tries harder, she takes any opportunity she can to do something and believe in herself. She stop seeking superficial attention to feel worth.

Take her play of Oz for exemple, she want to be dorothy, the big role that is worthy of a beautiful dress and all the spotlight! Despite all her development and traumas she still cares that she was given a unimpressed role, that she 'isn't worthy' of the main role

But instead of being unable to focus on anything else except how bad her role is and how uncute it makes her, as the Nene from the start of the manga would, she get the strenght to move pass it and have fun, keeping her head high because she won't be alone.

Hanako will be there for her.

Hanako is one of her biggest strenghts, and when he is gone she is hit hard.

Her first instinct is to seek someone to talk too.

And when she can't, she falls. There is nothing she can do, her friends are already dead, and just like her own death, she doesn't know how to solve it.

Even when she feels better, going out to the arcade instead of being trapped alone in her room, the moment she remembers that she can't talk to her friends, that they are gone, she relapses again, sapped of all of her strenght.

She is 15, she can't handle this.

Her major sorces of comfort is still her close friends, which is normal, but she does gain strenght from other people.

Enters Teru and Akane.

Akane is one of the characters that push her to act when things are at their most hopeless, but unlike Kou and Aoi he isn't her cheerleader, he never coddles her. If she ask for reassurance that she is beautiful, or useful, or doing the right thing, he will either not give her that or straight up say "I dissagree".

Akane is not a source of hope for Nene, his belief in her is not nearly as strong as Kous or Hanako or Aoi's belief in her. Just as Nene's believe in herself isn't very strong in hopeless situations.

He never sugarcoats tragedy, in fact he consistently drag her back to how bleak things are. Ignore the arcade, don't distract yourself: Face reality.

He is open about his misery.

It mostly feel like he is processing his own feelings when he rants to Nene, but the end message is clear "I hate this, i want to try to change it. You want to, don't you?" which is exactly how Nene feels.

They are hopeless but they're not alone in this hopelessness. Despite Nene never working up with Akane during the rescue arc. This served as a reality check, which serves to process her feelings better.

Reality does sucks, there is no clear solution, she is unhappy, she does want to change things, she hates crying and being helpless while her friends are dead/suffering. So she eat a sugary sweet to comfort herself and she chin up.

Akane never says "you can do it, you are stronger than you think!" he sucks at comforting, I love him but oh god he sucks. But the message he gives her is till important "You have to do it." "You have to try anyways or you'll stay helpless."

Teru is the savior, Nene already idolized him from the start, but he is the one that showed them a way to rescue Aoi too. He is amazing. He can do the impossible!

Now let's jump to the new timeline.

Kou, her buddy, her biggest cheerleader, doesn't know her. It hit hards and she was so so happy to have him back!!

But just as quickly as she gets to see her buddy, Kou is gone, this is just a shell trying to lure her to death, the real one is dead at the bottom of a wheel.

She doesn't have the time to process that, because Hanako, her big source of comfort, doesn't exist. Amane, who she had watched be brutally slashed by Teru, have been possessed and wants to kill her and all her friends instead of protecting her.

Teru, this invincible guy (Nene wasn't present when No.6 took Teru down, so for her he is unbeatable) that made saving Aoi possible, is the first one down.

Everyone is doing what they can, so Nene does too, she want to help her friends, she can't let them be in danger! While Aoi takes charge, she doesn't allow herself to be too shocked and focus on destroying the tentacle attacking Akane.

But she is still terrified.

The last thing she want to do is to be alone. But she have too. Once more, Akane doesn't sugarcoat the situation, he says "This reality, it sucks, and if you want to change it, you have to act! Go!"

But this time he is left behind too. Nene is completely and utterly alone.

She has the weight of the world on her shoulders as she run through the city for who knows how long, but she is terrified and she doesn't have Akane to be terrified with her, just the weight of his words and the faint hope that they'll meet her in the big clock to keep her going.

She is doing something so so big, she need to talk to someone first, she need strenght. She need people.

So she seek them. And no one answers.

She crumbles, she becomes small. There is no heroine to be seem, just a teen girl in shambles after losing every. single. person that used to give her strenght.

That's why Tsuchigomori was needed.

Let her cry. Let her process the situation with a comforting sweet to gather the strenght to do what she must.

[luludeluluramblings]

Hiii! Sorry to bother you, but I just had an idea I wanted to share

Idk if you have a name picked out for the baby yet, but imagine if pregnant reader (assuming she has the same, or at least similar backstory to small town reader) named her son Samuel, after her stepfather?(i think that’s his name?) Can you imagine the angst?

(I’m imagining reader doesn’t mention that they picked a name already while pregnant)

Reader has finally started to get closer to the Batfam, things are finally looking up, and sure it may take a while to fully patch the relationship, but things are better. They have a friendly relationship with all the siblings, they called Jason ‘bro’ a week ago (it was sarcastically, but we can skip over that part), reader has even started hugging Bruce recently! (It was one time, and was incredibly uncomfortable)

Reader gave birth, and after an excruciating stay in the waiting room (reader didn’t want any of them in the room until it was over) they are finally able to see her and the new baby boy. Bruce gets to meet his first grandbaby! And it might be the best moment of his life. The little darling in laying on his mamas chest, looking around with big curious eyes, is the cutest thing in the world!

Reader smiles the biggest, proudest smile Bruce has ever seen, and he thinks it’s the prettiest thing in the world. His baby girl and her baby boy. He’s so happy he can feel tears welling up in his eyes!

“What’s his name?” One of the boys asks

“Samuel!”

And suddenly Bruce’s whole world feels like it’s crumbling down around him

That’s his grandbaby. That’s his daughter. Why does some child stealing, no good, piece of crap get the honor of sharing a name with his grandson. How did he manage to wrangle his way into your son’s life, even after dying so. Many. Years. Ago.

Doesn’t reader care about their family, his family? How could they do this to them, to Bruce? Sure their relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was getting better! How could she just spit on that? After everything he has done and is doing for her benefit and safety!

(Meanwhile reader is completely oblivious to his crisis. Sure, reader’s on better terms with the Batfam than before, but they are at best friendly roommates. Reader fully intends to move out as soon as they physically can, and has no issues with the idea of going no contact with all of them (minus Alfred) if necessary)

(Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes! It’s the middle of the night and I’m about to go to sleep) hope you’re doing well 🩷

Yooooooooooo! Lois’s dad was apparently named Samuel, plus that sounds like it could be a Kryptonian name (Sam of House El).

The plastic smile on Bruce’s face when he hears his grandchild’s damn name. If the kid doesn’t get a middle name he is so calling the kid Sammy or Sam, ain’t no way he is calling him by the other man’s name.

Or, he could delude himself into thinking it was after Lois father. Just to cope. Like, no it wasn’t named after your step-daddy. It was just Conner wanting to feel included in the Kent family. (The mental gymnastics are Olympic level here.)

Edit: Wait! It’s Jon’s middle name too. Starting to think we can’t use it. Damn, I should’ve double check. Currently in research mode and fact checking things!

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Spoiler: We might wanna name the kid Samuel because Bruce is going to fuck up really bad and piss everyone off in Part Four. I just gotta get the balls to write it.

[live-laugh-legolas]

FOR UR FELLOWSHIP REQUEST THING maybe the fellowship with an depressed reader? like how each of them would treat the reader (i wanted to go for su1c1d@l but idk if ur chill with it(ONLY IF U WANNA))

Remember that you are not alone so please reach out for help. There are hotlines to call/text if you are struggling, suicidal, or in a crisis

My messages are always open if you want to talk but I am no replacement for professional help and support of your loved ones

The fellowship x depressed!reader

Aragorn:

-He recognizes the signs quickly

-I imagine he’s had his bouts of depression

-He definitely takes a very gentle approach

-Offering a shoulder and an ear

-He’s kinda an unpaid and unlicensed therapist

-He gives lots of tips on how to keep going in your daily life

-For some people depression is kind of a way of life; you have to learn to live with it

Legolas:

-He doesn’t fully understand at first

-To elves, depression is really only experienced after loss

-So to have it chronically is a new concept to him

-He’s remorseful that you feel so low and he knows there isn’t much he can do

-But he will try

-He will force you to get up and out of bed, even if he has to throw you over his shoulder to get you some fresh air

-He will constantly point out little beautiful things to be grateful for; little joys

-Maybe it’s the smell of dawn or crunchy fall leaves

-Or maybe it’s him; he is very insistent that you would miss him most

Gimli:

-I literally love this dwarf so much; he would be such a cutie that you can’t help but smile at him

-Like he is so gentle and patient with you; which is saying something because dwarves are not patient beings

-He isn’t someone who will beat around the bush though; he will very bluntly tell you your worth and why he and everyone else needs and wants you around

-He gets you involved in anything he can

-Is it against your will? Maybe

-But I’ve found I sometimes end up feeling a little better and enjoy the time out even after I’ve bitched about it and my friend had to drag me out of the house by my hair

Boromir:

-Big brother mode is always active so he picks up on your subtle changes very fast

-Maybe even before you do

-He will tell you stuff like “even if you can’t, you must”

-Wether or not you find that helpful or not; just know he’s trying

-His experience with depression is seeing it with his soldiers

-And that’s the sort of thing he tells them so he just kinda hopes can be applied to you

-He is very action oriented; I think he may have a difficult time sympathizing with not feeling able to get up and do anything

-But damnit if he doesn’t try; he wants you to tell him everything so he can learn and be of better support

-He also gives the best hugs

Frodo:

-He is a very steady friend

-Like he’s not going anywhere; no matter how dark things look he’s still there with a torch

-He makes you go on walks like clockwork to give you some feeling of routine

-He always invites you over because if he can’t help he’s sure Bilbo can

-How can you be sad when talking to Bilbo?

-Well actually he talks a lot so maybe it’s a bit exhausting; but it’s a kind thought

Sam:

-So Sam wants to help so bad; the idea that he can’t fix it doesn’t sit well with him so he will keep trying

-He will help with tasks obviously because acts of service is his love language

-But I also imagine him trying to give comfort but not in the “let me hug you and you can cry on my shoulder way”

-More so in the “look at this photo of a piglet in rain-boots! You can’t be sad while looking at that!”

-Yes you can because that’s not how depression works but still; you put on a smile anyway because he’s just so adorable and he’s trying his best

-This may turn into a sort of “fake it till you make it” situation where eventually you may feel better from his antics

Merry:

-We know this hobbit likes to plan things and is always up for adventure with his friends

-And he’s basically Sherlock of the hobbits so you don’t have to say anything for him to read you like an open book

-He will set you a schedule and will hold you to it by joining you

-He’s not going to go easy on you ngl

-Not in a mean way; but he won’t give you a day to take a break and stay in bed

-Even if you have to half ass everything; you will be doing something

-“you don’t need to wash your hair but you do need to sit in this tub for at least 10 minutes”

-This can feel exhausting at the time and may make you snap at him sometimes but he’s determined because he loves you

-And sometimes tough love is the most helpful

Pippin:

-Can’t get out of bed?

-Don’t worry! Pippin won’t let you be lonely

-He won’t always drag you out of bed. Instead he will join you and talk your ear off

-He brings the “fun” to you

-With the hope that he will either annoy you so much you get up

-Or that his stories give you some level of intrigue to want to go out and see whatever it was he is talking about

Gandalf:

-This is a very old man, he’s seen depression in all states and forms

-He’s a quiet type of comfort

-He definitely says some vague poetic shit that isn’t necessarily helpful but it does have a meaningful lesson

-Offers his pipe

-He is also sort of they type that you are a little afraid to disobey

-Like if he tells you to get outside more; even if you don’t see him, he knows if you have or haven’t

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Idk how good this is. I personally do have depression so I know my own experiences with how it affects me, but it shows in different ways for everyone. In terms of comfort and support I’m not fully sure this does any justice, hopefully it’s a little comforting. I have a great support system but I’m notorious for being too stubborn to accept help. Don’t do that by the way, because eventually it will likely stop coming. Let your friends and family support you; it’s not out of pity; it’s because they care and want to help in anyway they can even if that just means checking to make sure you are alive each morning to let you know they are there.

Anyone can message me if they need someone to talk to. I’m no therapist or expert in any sense but I can be a friend :)

[sinnabarmoth]

Getting Older

Pairing: Xavier x Fem|Reader

Prompt: You have an existential crisis when Xavier tells you that he is a centuries year old alien.

Length: 1200

Xavier was hiding something.

After months of officially dating him you could tell when he was trying to hide something from you. Problem is you couldn’t think about what he could possibly have to hide. You knew Xavier. There was a lot of him that was a mystery to you but ever since you got together he had been very open and honest about who he is.

So what was it that he was still keeping to himself?

You were lounging at home, you had just gotten a new video game and Xavier was over to play co-op mode with you. It was a pretty typical day until you noticed that Xavier kept glancing at you. Usually when you played video games he was zeroed in on the screen. You had tested him once just to see how focused he was while playing a video game and started stripping right next to him on the couch. The man did not so much as blink until you were completely naked and then he paused and pinned you to the couch. Apparently he had been aware of what you were doing the entire time and was just biding his time until you were bare.

But now he kept looking over and was barely paying attention to the puzzle you were trying to figure out in the game. Finally you had enough and paused. “What is it?” you asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’ve been stealing looks at me the entire time you’ve been here. Something is on your mind so just tell me what it is because if we get a game over on this level again I’m going to slap you.” you crossed your arms over your chest. “Now tell me.”

Xavier sighed. “I…there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you but I could never find the right time. Then again, I’ve had enough time to learn that there is no perfect time for anything. There are better moments but I can’t keep this to myself any longer.”

“Xav,” you took his hand. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, right?”

“I know. I just don’t want you to freak out when I say this.” Well that was ominous.

Xavier took a deep breath and looked at you. “Do you remember when I said I had killed over 70,000 Wanderers?”

“Yeah. Still have no idea how that is possible for someone so young.” you shrugged. “Is that it? You’re gonna tell me you were exaggerating to look cool?”

“No. I wasn’t exaggerating and I’m not exactly what you would call young.” he cringed away from your inspectful gaze. “I…um…”

“Xavier?” you squeezed his hand. “It’s alright.”

He dropped his head, looking up at you through the fringe of his hair. “I’m not in my twenties like I told you, nor am I exactly human.”

You wanted to ask what he was going on about but remained silent, waiting for his explanation. “The truth is, I come from the planet Philos. The people there age very slowly and about two hundred years ago I came here with some friends. That’s why my record of Wanderer kills is so high. I’ve been around a long time and I’m going to be around for an even longer time.”

“You…” there were so many questions swirling in your head. He was from Philos? Was he really that old? How had no one realized that he had been around for two hundred years if he looks exactly the same? Who were these friends? Were they still around? Who else knew about this?

But what ended up coming out was, “Does that mean you’re still gonna look like this when I’m eighty?”

Xavier blinked at you. “I mean, I suppose. I may look a little older by then but not by much.” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Is that all you have to ask? I just told you I’m a centuries old alien.”

“I know. I just--” your brain was short circuiting. “Do you know what it is going to look like if I’m fifty and I’m walking around calling a guy that looks like he’s twenty my husband? They’re gonna think I’m a cougar or a sugar mommy or something! People are gonna think it’s weird!”

“Did you say husband?”

“Wrong thing to focus on!” you sighed, trying to rein your emotions back in. “Sorry. I know you didn’t want me to freak out but my brain is just flooding with thoughts and I can’t sort through all of them at once.”

“It’s alright. I figured this would happen when I told you.” he turned you to face him again. “But I needed to tell you. You deserved to know the truth.”

“And I’m grateful that you did. I don’t care that you’re super old--”

“I wouldn’t say super old--” he muttered.

“--or that you’re technically an alien. I still feel the same as I always did. I still love you.” you cupped his face. His two hundred year old youthful face. “But now I’m thinking about how long this is going to last.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said people on Philos age slowly, right?” Xavier nodded. “So if you age slowly and you look like this at two hundred years old, that means you’re going to be alive for a really long time. But me, I’m just a human. Our average lifespan is eighty years. By the time I’m old and dying you’re still going to be like this. You are still going to be around and me…”

You took in a shaky breath. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Pain flashed in Xavier’s eyes, as if this hadn’t occurred to him either. He pressed his forehead to yours. “I…I don’t know what to say to make you feel better. I don’t even know if anything could. I have no answers about what may be waiting for us in the future but I do know this. I do not care how long we have together, I will cherish every single second of it. And if you leave this life while I am still here, know that I will find you in the your next one. I will always find you.”

“I’m going to get so old!” you cried. “I’m gonna be all wrinkly and slow!”

“And you will still be the most beautiful woman in the world to me.” he kissed your forehead. “But if there is a way to match our lifespans, I will find it. Because I would want nothing more than to grow old with you. Be it we are given sixty more years or six hundred. I will always love you.”

You hugged him tight. Whatever fears you had about your future you didn’t want to think about them now. Right now you were young and happy and your lives were full. That was all that mattered. And come hell or high water you would find a way to rewrite fate. You would not leave him, not for anything.

He gave you a tissue to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. Once you had calmed down he left a chaste but loving kiss on your lips. He pulled back with a small smile. “So…what did you mean exactly when you said husband?”

Your face flushed with heat all the way up to the tip of your ears. “Oh uh…about that…”

[ryker-writes]

How about ‘forgetting’ to say ‘I love you’ back to Ace and anyone else?

ooo the betrayal! The drama! I can see it now

I added Leona, Idia, and Malleus

Request rules and Masterlists

Ace:

oh no you don't

if you don't say it back he will repeat himself getting louder each time until you hear him

if for some reason you still don't say it back or hear him, he's following you and shouting "I LOVE YOU"

and if you still don't say it back for some reason? well two can play that game

he'll walk away but next time you say I love you to him, he's not going to say it back

he'll either respond with a "yeah" or "same"

Leona:

how dare you.

forgetting to say I love you back to Leona is a serious offence

you may think you're safe but he's following you

and when he gets close enough he is flopping on top of you

doesn't matter if you're standing or sitting or laying down

all of his body weight is going on top of you

all he says is that he's not going to move until you say it back

you'll basically be forced to say it back

Leona is heavy and doesn't move easily

if somehow you can move him, he'll just move back on top of you

once you finally say it back he's content

...doesn't mean he'll move tho since he's gotten comfortable....

Idia:

it always takes Idia a lot of courage to say I love you in the first place

but when he said it and you didn't say it back, he's gone into panic mode

he's not going to say it again

he'll just accept the pain of you not saying it back

Idia's brain is in overdrive

oh god you didn't say I love you back so clearly you've realized what a weirdo he is and you want nothing to do with him anymore because why would anyone want to be with him-

please come back and say I love you

the longer it takes you to say it again the further his thoughts go

one "i love you" after that will reset his brain

crisis averted

Malleus:

instant heartbreak

he's so upset

why did you not say it back?

perhaps you didn't hear him

Malleus will move closer to you and say it again

if you still don't say it, his soul is crushed

he's thinking of all the reasons you might not be saying it back

there's no way you don't love him anymore, he simply refuses to believe it

eventually settles on the conclusion that you must be upset with him

so now he's doing everything he can to fix whatever mistake he made

when you see him again he's sitting there with a bunch of gifts and he's showering you in affection

[transmutationisms]

hi! may i ask you something? are there authors or techniques you find helpful in times of existencial despair, dissociation and/or trauma? specially through anticapitalist lenses. i know it is a central point in psychoanalyses and i was curious if you have any recommendations. i'm going through a deep crisis right now and was diagnosed with bpd (many women are! haha) and i would like to explore authors with a more critical vision of the dsm/hegemonic psychiatry/"pop psychology" and standart treatments such as cbt, etc + ways to feel better, honestly. hence my interest in analyses.

i have a reading list on psych that might have something you're looking for, but i don't really think that any of my personal techniques of, like, distress management are anti-capitalist inasmuch as they're really individual health behaviours or whatever... like if im frank mostly the way i deal with trauma or whatever is things that the average psych discourse currently puts under the heading of 'maladaptive coping mechanism' (though i think this framing is incorrect too lol)

i'd be cautious about the ascription of revolutionary potential or whatever to psychoanalysis... there are numerous camps of thought on this and i do think analysis in its broadest sense has a capacity to describe & engage with psychological aspects, like ambivalence and internal conflict, that biopsychiatry laughably fails at. this is kind of what like byung-chul han et al mean by talking about psychoanalysis as dialectical & inherently composed of negations, as opposed to the facile 'positivity' (double sense) of the other psy-sciences.

but 'psychoanalysis' in practice historically and presently often means quite different things, such as a pre-fab set of triangular mommy-daddy-me discourses just as reductive and inappropriately universal as those of cbt and pop psych, and with the added bonus that often the psychoanalytic mode is conceived as a way to avoid giving patients access to care configured as an 'easy way out' (psychoactive substances, hrt, etc). this is kind of why for example deleuze was so critical of lacan and such, while still building elements of his critique off people like wilhelm reich who have actually tried to develop psychoanalysis in an explicitly revolutionary marxist direction. i have a lot of sympathy for such projects & certainly much more than for biopsychiatry or 'biopsychosocial' mental disease models, etc. but it's demonstrably simply not the case that psychoanalysis is always better than, or even opposed to or separate to, other modes of psychiatric practice.