#i may or may not be in crisis mode
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im glad to be friends with one person who at least gets me and is so very patient with me even tho we dont talk much bc of timezones because if not i wouldve been worst off. recently been reaffirmed again and again that the world will keep blaming me for things i never did and will nitpick me of my mistakes because i forgot left something a mess after my routine of cleaning consistently or something like that.
#i may or may not be in crisis mode#ive unfortunately broke my streak of blunt SH#no cuts. but ive been hitting myself again and i hate it.#thank fucking god for my system but also god im so guilty.#just a goddamn burden because i cant get any help#im supposed to help myself but woof woof bark bitch i dont have the resources to.#my art isnt good enough for people. they all think its worth 12 dollars tops and the rest is overspending.#like im sorry i have needs and the world is expensive.#i wonder where it started. my overall negativity. what if i werent alive anymore would that ease my parent's burdens? haha.#that theory hasnt been proven yet on yes or no.#kasalanan ko nanaman lahat. bakit kung naging engineer ba ako mas madali buhay? parang di rin.#parang at that point nagpakamatay na sana ako nung pandemic for real.#vent#im on my period and its so. fucking heavy and it hurts for once again btw so maybe thats why im emotional but fucking hell i wanna perish.#i feel insane right now i feel like . well. nothing.
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There’s something very tragic about the first king of Yong’an, Lang Ying that I feel both reflects Xie Lian in his almost-corruption era and also serves as a lesson for Xie Lian during his second banishment era.
Lang Ying loses his wife and young son to the drought in the city of Yong’an, only to be faced with the cruelty of the Xianle court who would rather preserve themselves and their status than help their suffering citizens. Xie Lian is the only noble to help him (by preventing Qi Rong from arresting him for stealing coins from a fountain, offering the man water, helping him bury his son, and then offering him his priceless pearl earrings that Xie Lian had used in the ill-fated Lantern Festival parade), and in return Lang Ying leads the Yong’an refugees in overthrowing the nation of Xianle and installing the nation of Yong’an over its ashes, the drought long over. In this ironic twist, Xie Lian breaking with the Xianle nobles to save Lang Ying’s life caused Xie Lian to lose his kingdom and loved ones, reversing their positions from beloved prince and impoverished commoner to beloved king and banished commoner. Now, they’ve both experienced a mirrored tragedy, though with different causes.
You’d think this would be a story of a man getting his due after experiencing injustice at the hands of the precious kingdom’s rulers, but no. Lang Ying is not satisfied with this takeover; he feels guilty. When Xie Lian goes to kill him, he still has the red pearl earring Xie Lian gave him. He tells Xie Lian that he always wanted to thank him for having given it to him, even if the help had come too late. This is also not the story of a man exacting vengeance for having his kindness repayed with “treachery.” Yes, Xie Lian in that moment was caught up in how Lang Ying seemed to have lived a “good life” and died relatively peacefully, but in later refusing to demolish the original city of Yong’an after realizing the error of following resentment, I feel like Xie Lian was at least partially influenced by Lang Ying’s death.
Lang Ying became king of a new kingdom, but he never got his wife and son back. In fact, his unwillingness to move on from the past, his regrets and fears and resentment, led to him (willingly!) being infected by the Human Face Disease. Yet on some level, he knew his thirst for vengeance—particularly in destroying the life of the one man who tried to help him—led to him being puppeteered by an even greater monster and having to forsake the part of him that wanted to repay a young man’s kindness. He didn’t die a proud king; he died a broken man filled with regrets. Xie Lian could have very well followed this same path: never releasing his regrets and resentment of what led to the fall of Xianle, always chasing those former pleasant memories by disgracing your morals in the present, and eventually being deposed by a victim of his actions. He consciously chooses not to.
Xie Lian is able to learn the lesson Lang Ying wasn’t given the chance to, and in doing so, he breaks out of the cycle of vengeance that Jun Wu was attempting to manipulate him into. I feel like his interactions and history with Lang Ying, as a result, would be good sources of heavy reflection and inspiration for his actions in his second banishment and third ascension.
#tgcf#human metas mxtx#also he isn’t given the choice since lang ying dies on his own lmao#but still with all the talking xie lian was doing before the killing#i wonder if he would have actually done the deed#or if wuming would even have let him#but also this isn’t to say that lang ying was wrong for rebelling#just that his resentment led to him being manipulated by the person who WAS orchestrating xianle’s downfall#and had he not been in crisis mode for so long#he may have chosen differently for himself
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botw/totk link will forever be so special to me. the dichotomy of the feral little goblin kid that eats rocks and builds hyrule's first korok roller coaster, and the incredibly scary person who can best 5 lynels at the same time in less than 30 seconds combined is just. chefs kiss. yes he's both. he can be so silly people will straight up think he's joking when he says his name is link because no one expects the hero of hyrule to look Like That and catch lizards with his mouth. But then also in the same vein when he has to get serious, he WILL become an unstoppable force that can singlehandedly fight off an entire horde of monsters, and none who see him do that will ever doubt him ever again.
Link woke up with nothing after resting for a long time (TWICE EVEN), disoriented, immediately used some random sticks he found somewhere and in his hands, they turned into the deadliest sticks in the continent. He dives off cliffs and opens the paragilder 0.005 seconds away from landing head first on the ground. He (kinda) brushes off [the beginning of totk], multiple assassination attempts and Ganon's special troops meant to destroy him specifically. The Yiga clan are so bad at even getting a dent into him they look like comedic relief, while to the regular people in Hyrule they're deadly and terrifying, especially to the Sheikah. He won't die. He is Hylia's specialest little cockroach.
he's also absolutely shredding it on a shield like crazy. the people at the stables have an internal bet going on what type of definitely-not-horse Link will try to register next. last week it was a bear. next week it's the satori he "just found somewhere". someone once saw him fall out of a tree and he immediately tried to stuff 5 apples into his mouth. he jumps into every well he finds.
#totk#botw#i choose to integrate player agency into his personality bc it makes him so fun#also hey listen okay Serious Link is incredibly scary. i headcanon he'd probably rather be goofy and have some fun but when he's needed?#Serious mode.#it also brings me immense joy that the canon link in totk seems to have done all of botw's side quests. he cares!!!!#demises curse may have made his reincarnations live in times of crisis but that won't stop him from taking pics of monsters bc kilton asked
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“Soldier,” Vengeance of the Moon Knight (Vol. 2/2024), #3.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Vengeance of the Moon Knight#Vengeance of the Moon Knight vol. 2#Vengeance of the Moon Knight 2024#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Soldier#Tigra#Greer Nelson#I love this distinction between what Moon Knight does/did in vol. 9 compared to other heroes#don’t get me wrong I obviously love Spider-Man (and only to a slightly lesser extent Daredevil) but this is a cool difference#feels a little more grounded almost like community defense as opposed to a high-flying cape issue#also fascinating comparing to a drug implying these low level villains are thrill seekers/adrenaline junkies#but most critically…hmmm….this may just be more indicative of my own perspective than anything (bear with me)#but interestingly those last two text boxes on finding the balance between keeping a group too scared to make a move#and not so scared that they get desperate/have nothing left to lose#is very similar to the basis of a theory of counterinsurgency#that an iron fist can keep a group from developing means + will to organize but the ruling regime must be careful#to not be too cruel or else it will push the group into survival mode/win it sympathy from the local or international population#(it’s very reminiscent of Machiavelli’s The Prince)#Mind you it’s a theory usually entertained by authoritarian regimes where people have few de facto civil rights#and its efficacy/sustainability’s debatable as it takes one hiccup with the regime (markedly weak ruler/secession crisis/natural disaster/#excessive use of force/etc) for the insurgency to flair up again#Marc’s past with the CIA is mentioned in this issue so I wonder if that’s what this is all about#but uuuuuh yeah do with that info what you will sorry hahaha#don’t mind me rambling in the tags
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me, a former homestuck cosplayer, seeing all the other alastor cosplayers at the con wearing gray facepaint:
#this is purely a joke y’all looked amazing#HOWEVER it did give me flashbacks to unsealed paint on fucking EVERY goddamn thing#also I definitely should have worn a wig but I think if something (except like two specific hats) touches my head I will explode#I looked weird with my normal hair but it’s fine it’s fine don’t worry about it#going to a con in November and tbh I may just dye my hair red rather than wear a wig#idk how I would do the black tips impermanently lol I do not actually want to have the fuckass bob in real life#maybe hair wax or something idk#I used that once and it was a sensory hell but if it’s just on the ends maybe it would be okay#the perils of playing dress up I guess man idk#I have some Plans for my next alastor cosplay though (rubbing my gay little hands together)#once I’m not in crisis mode I want to work on it so bad#bc man. I have Ideas.#v excited to do a masquerade al#time to do something overly ambitious babeyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!#got a Definitely Not Questionable deer skull mask a while ago and stripped off all the feathers and beads and stuff#found some extremely cheap restoration grill cloth on ebay that I’m gonna glue onto it#I wanna get some fake Spanish moss or something to drape over the antlers#I have a list of possible designs to make in glitter/sequins to make the mask more masqueradey too#so far it’s mostly just bayou plants that have names that are juuuust close enough to something alastor-related to be funny to me#no one else will get it or find it funny but that’s okay 👍#trying to think of a way to incorporate a kind of jazzy motif without resorting to like. notes and clefs bc that’s a bit on the nose idk#maybe I’m just thinking too hard about this#also thinking of a stylized superhet circuit diagram (or part of it lol)#yes I have 500 ideas no the mask isn’t big enough to accommodate even 5 of them probably#I also have an old burgundy cloak that would be perfecttttt#I think underneath it I will just wear the normal attire to not venture TOO far from canon lol#so like the red shirt with the cross and the black pants and his lil deerprint dress shoes#I gotta fix the bow tie from this last con bc I forgot the middle was red and ended up cutting up a christmas decoration to sew on lmao#I wanna use something satin so it matches the texture of the rest of the tie lol#idk!!!! I am just excited about this :>
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I feel a little more alive today. I reached out to a crisis text line last night (just for any sort of guidance) and it did actually help a bit. I got some resources for job search and low cost therapy, and funny enough, the person I was talking to was also named Elijah. They were nice and I'm glad I spoke to them. It felt weird at first but talking did at least help distract me enough for my brain to settle down a bit. So thanks from one Elijah to another.
#Eli Speaks#ask to tag#i dont feel *great* but at least im not in crisis mode#i think i may have been pmsing the last couple days and that caused my mental health crisis#isnt it fun having a uterus#but yeah#i have some new resources#and this morning i actually found a resource that may help manage my migraines better#fingers crossed#wish me luck#i really need it#i just need one good thing
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fanmix myself, 2023 edition
genuinely almost can't believe i have TWO of these on here now (i do one of these every two years ish.) time really does pass huh... ANYWAY here's the link, and full tracklist under the cut, plus me rambling :) please talk to me about any of these songs my little brain will esplode
a song you like with a color in the title: forever yellow skies by the cranberries
a song you like with a number in the title: 10,000 emerald pools by børns
a song that reminds you of summertime: rain king by counting crows (literally the album of visiting my fiance the summer after i graduated college. song of joy and also freedom)
a song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about: all the small things by blink 182 (no i don't want to talk about it)
a song that needs to be played LOUD: bulls in the bronx by pierce the veil (i'm in agony but this song is so good)
a song that makes you want to dance: genghis khan by miiike snow (obviously)
a song to drive to: one week by the barenaked ladies (specifically if you're stuck in traffic. bnl are really good at making songs that are good for listening to in really bad traffic somehow)
a song about drugs or alcohol: home again garden grove by the mountain goats (had this one on repeat for about 2 weeks straight somewhat recently)
a song that makes you happy: tunak tunak tun by daler mehndi (also had this one on repeat recently. the vibes are immaculate)
a song that makes you sad: in corolla by the mountain goats (self explanatory)
a song that you never get tired of: awake my soul by mumford and sons (this is on one of the first albums i ever bought with my own money and i still never skip it to this day. it's SO good.)
a song from your preteen years: my song from angel beats… the memories of playing minecraft on the family computer with the angel beats songs playing in the background are SO strong...
one of your favorite 80’s songs: i wanna dance with somebody by whitney houston
a song that you would love played at your wedding: run away with me adam neely cover (my fiance introduced me to this song and it's honestly one of the Very Few songs he likes that i genuinely love lmao)
a song that is a cover by another artist: BILLY COBB hide and seek (ignore that the previous song is also a cover lol. billy cobb does some of my favorite covers of all time. i've lost count of how many times i've played this, running up that hill, and linger honestly)
one of your favorite classical songs: edward elgar's cello concerto!!! specifically as played by jacqueline du pre (i'm NOT sorry for the length. listen!!!!! it's so so so so so good!!!)
a song from the year that you were born: how's it going to be by third eye blind (literally the way he shouts at the end is top vocals of all time imo)
a song that makes you think about life: the times they are a-changin by bob dylan (the first time i heard this song it was simon and garfunkel's cover and let me tell you. it fucked me up. listened to it probably 10 times in a row)
a song that has many meanings to you: wish you were here by pink floyd (song of very potent memories plus the actual song is like. woof. plus the double hit combo. you know how it is)
a favorite song with a person’s name in the title: jenny was a friend of mine by the killers (self explanatory. this song fucks.)
a song that moves you forward: hark to the music by ezra furman
a song that you think everybody should listen to: foundations of decay by my chemical romance (hello!! obviously)
a song by a band you wish were still together: tumble by stabilo (i have so many thoughts about this song it needs its own separate post also this is my favorite band that no one cares about)
a song by an artist no longer living: paradise by the dashboard light by meat loaf (my curse of getting into someone and then they die 2 years later continues with this man)
a song that makes you want to fall in love: better than by gretchen parlato (this one doesn't make me want to fall in love as much as it reminds me of a time when i was falling in love. close enough.)
a song that breaks your heart: addict with a pen by twenty one pilots
a song by an artist with a voice that you love: dead of night by orville peck (first song of his i ever heard and one of my top 3 of his still. his voice is EVERYTHING in this song, i fell in love instantly.)
a song that you remember from your childhood: i need you to love me by barlowgirl (... i have issues.)
a song that reminds you of yourself: midnight by tyler glenn (the issues strike again. genuinely cried the first time i listened to this song lol)
#own post#my incurable playlist curation hobby#it may be suppressed due to me no longer being in crisis mode and also having a full time job but it is not gone!#i used an old ask meme for this lmao#love how i said i would post this in the morning and then it took me almost a month to get around to it... whoops :)
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i was supposed to move shit and do plant things but honestly i'm just drained
#logbook#and supposed to stop by the townhouse and drop off the key etc. but i may see abt doing that tmrw.#i just feel like resting and eating food. ive been running on crisis mode for so damn long and im crashing#plus news my coworker got fired is like. another cherry on top. sigh.
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well
everything's gone to shit, as usual
happy fucking birthday to me.
#jay speaks#don't mind me#adhd crisis mode wore off and now I'm catastrophizing#come this time next week this may be a funny ha ha#but right now I am absolutely extremely upset
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(sorry in advance for the more personal ask, you're the most intelligent person i know of when it comes to these things)
genuinely, how are we supposed to find the strength to go on? it feels like capitalism has won. only a few decades ago my country was openly and proudly socialist, and now we're nothing but an american military base with an economy. everything's been privatised, the unions are broken, the people are starving, and we keep voting for more of this! people are gleefully begging for yet more exploitation! sometimes it feels there's not a drop of class consciousness to be found in the entire country, and that it's pointless to even hope for change. how can i stay sane?
The class struggle is not a team sport which either side can win or lose. It is a historical and economic process, one that's inevitable. As long as capitalism exists, there will be a social majority of workers it must exploit, alienation will still happen, and a portion of these workers will be aware of this fact. The class struggle is also a long process, one that, most of the time, is imperceptible to the individual in physical and time scale. Only sometimes, it accelerates to dizzying speeds and the conditions necessary for taking power are met. We can talk about victories and defeats, but we can't lose sight of the fact that those "only" are points in time, momentaneous advances or retreats in the process that is the class struggle, but they never mean the paralization of this process.
We can only really talk about the bourgeoisie taking power and creating the first properly capitalist states in the late 18th century and early 19th, but the bourgeoisie had lead or taken part in attempts at or glimpes of revolution as far back as the early 16th century. The bourgeoisie never really had an unifying theory of the class struggle, most were never really fully conscious of it. But they still eventually took power, once the development of the national economies advanced so far that it forced the replacement of the feudal mode of production, the bourgeois revolutions became inevitable. Marx and Engels only ever saw one real attempt at the proletariat taking power, in the Paris Commune of 1871, but it only ever lasted a few months. They both were long dead when the first actually (relatively) long-lasting instance of the proletariat in power broke the oppressor classes' veneer of invincibility.
When Marxists talk of inevitability it is not in a conspiratorial manner, or an expression of satisfied optimism, we never mean that "one day the capitalists will get what's coming to them", in a vague way. We mean that, only if communists continue to work towards the revolutionary organization of our class, is a complete overthrow of capitalism inevitable. We should all do an exercise is historical perspective when it comes to analyzing progress, take the Marx and Engels example from the previous paragraph, they never got to see an effective application of their theories. Class consciousness will fluctuate continuously, it always has. The bolshevik party in 1913 had nothing to do with the party that lead the October Revolution, and 8 years after the defeat of the 1905 revolution, I bet many felt like their work was hopeless. My point is that, while the borders of the Communist Party may shrink, grow, or even disappear, and while we might be savagely oppressed, no system of oppression has ever lasted forever.
When it comes to revolutions, there are objective and subjective conditions. The objective we can never control; it's the stability of capitalism, the characteristics of its suprastructure, if there is a crisis or not. The subjective is what's under our control; our own work as communists, the state of the revolutionary party, the degree of influence of communists at the core of the working class. These two sets of conditions interact with one another, with the objective conditions influencing the possibility of development of the subjective conditions much more than the reverse. What makes you hopeless is in part the objective conditions. Capitalism is quite stable right now (though not as much as it ever seems), and, for now, we can't do much about it, because the subjective conditions, the other part of your homelessness, are also very delayed. But these we do have control over, at first very little, but as they improve, the control we have over them also increases. Essentially, friend, all we can do is prepare our class, do our best to gain more workers to our cause, bit by bit, so that once capitalism shows one of its cracks, we can be ready to pry those cracks open and bust the whole system. The Russian soldiers in WW1 were already discontent when the bolsheviks began to agitate up to the trenches, Mao's guerrillas grew to an army taking advantage of the deep fragmentation China suffered throughout the first half of the century, etc.
Once again, class struggle is not a straight line that we move in two directions. It is a complex space. The overthrow of the USSR was a very profound blow to revolutionary organizations all around the world, of course, but the state of communism in general in 1995 was still in a much better position than it was merely 90 years prior. Every defeat also sharpens the tactics and strategies we use. Eastern Europe (where I assume you're from) did use to be socialist, and those worker's states were overthrown. But you are still in a better position than a communist in the interwar period, facing borderline fascistic dictatorship and a future of Nazi-Fascist occupation. They did not have any precedent or much practical experience to learn from, but you do. Every day that we delay work, even in the most hopeless of contexts, is a day more that our grandchildren will have to bear in capitalism, and a day more they're deprived of true freedom and self-government
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FOR UR FELLOWSHIP REQUEST THING maybe the fellowship with an depressed reader? like how each of them would treat the reader (i wanted to go for su1c1d@l but idk if ur chill with it(ONLY IF U WANNA))
Remember that you are not alone so please reach out for help. There are hotlines to call/text if you are struggling, suicidal, or in a crisis
My messages are always open if you want to talk but I am no replacement for professional help and support of your loved ones
The fellowship x depressed!reader
Aragorn:
-He recognizes the signs quickly
-I imagine he’s had his bouts of depression
-He definitely takes a very gentle approach
-Offering a shoulder and an ear
-He’s kinda an unpaid and unlicensed therapist
-He gives lots of tips on how to keep going in your daily life
-For some people depression is kind of a way of life; you have to learn to live with it
Legolas:
-He doesn’t fully understand at first
-To elves, depression is really only experienced after loss
-So to have it chronically is a new concept to him
-He’s remorseful that you feel so low and he knows there isn’t much he can do
-But he will try
-He will force you to get up and out of bed, even if he has to throw you over his shoulder to get you some fresh air
-He will constantly point out little beautiful things to be grateful for; little joys
-Maybe it’s the smell of dawn or crunchy fall leaves
-Or maybe it’s him; he is very insistent that you would miss him most
Gimli:
-I literally love this dwarf so much; he would be such a cutie that you can’t help but smile at him
-Like he is so gentle and patient with you; which is saying something because dwarves are not patient beings
-He isn’t someone who will beat around the bush though; he will very bluntly tell you your worth and why he and everyone else needs and wants you around
-He gets you involved in anything he can
-Is it against your will? Maybe
-But I’ve found I sometimes end up feeling a little better and enjoy the time out even after I’ve bitched about it and my friend had to drag me out of the house by my hair
Boromir:
-Big brother mode is always active so he picks up on your subtle changes very fast
-Maybe even before you do
-He will tell you stuff like “even if you can’t, you must”
-Wether or not you find that helpful or not; just know he’s trying
-His experience with depression is seeing it with his soldiers
-And that’s the sort of thing he tells them so he just kinda hopes can be applied to you
-He is very action oriented; I think he may have a difficult time sympathizing with not feeling able to get up and do anything
-But damnit if he doesn’t try; he wants you to tell him everything so he can learn and be of better support
-He also gives the best hugs
Frodo:
-He is a very steady friend
-Like he’s not going anywhere; no matter how dark things look he’s still there with a torch
-He makes you go on walks like clockwork to give you some feeling of routine
-He always invites you over because if he can’t help he’s sure Bilbo can
-How can you be sad when talking to Bilbo?
-Well actually he talks a lot so maybe it’s a bit exhausting; but it’s a kind thought
Sam:
-So Sam wants to help so bad; the idea that he can’t fix it doesn’t sit well with him so he will keep trying
-He will help with tasks obviously because acts of service is his love language
-But I also imagine him trying to give comfort but not in the “let me hug you and you can cry on my shoulder way”
-More so in the “look at this photo of a piglet in rain-boots! You can’t be sad while looking at that!”
-Yes you can because that’s not how depression works but still; you put on a smile anyway because he’s just so adorable and he’s trying his best
-This may turn into a sort of “fake it till you make it” situation where eventually you may feel better from his antics
Merry:
-We know this hobbit likes to plan things and is always up for adventure with his friends
-And he’s basically Sherlock of the hobbits so you don’t have to say anything for him to read you like an open book
-He will set you a schedule and will hold you to it by joining you
-He’s not going to go easy on you ngl
-Not in a mean way; but he won’t give you a day to take a break and stay in bed
-Even if you have to half ass everything; you will be doing something
-“you don’t need to wash your hair but you do need to sit in this tub for at least 10 minutes”
-This can feel exhausting at the time and may make you snap at him sometimes but he’s determined because he loves you
-And sometimes tough love is the most helpful
Pippin:
-Can’t get out of bed?
-Don’t worry! Pippin won’t let you be lonely
-He won’t always drag you out of bed. Instead he will join you and talk your ear off
-He brings the “fun” to you
-With the hope that he will either annoy you so much you get up
-Or that his stories give you some level of intrigue to want to go out and see whatever it was he is talking about
Gandalf:
-This is a very old man, he’s seen depression in all states and forms
-He’s a quiet type of comfort
-He definitely says some vague poetic shit that isn’t necessarily helpful but it does have a meaningful lesson
-Offers his pipe
-He is also sort of they type that you are a little afraid to disobey
-Like if he tells you to get outside more; even if you don’t see him, he knows if you have or haven’t
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Idk how good this is. I personally do have depression so I know my own experiences with how it affects me, but it shows in different ways for everyone. In terms of comfort and support I’m not fully sure this does any justice, hopefully it’s a little comforting. I have a great support system but I’m notorious for being too stubborn to accept help. Don’t do that by the way, because eventually it will likely stop coming. Let your friends and family support you; it’s not out of pity; it’s because they care and want to help in anyway they can even if that just means checking to make sure you are alive each morning to let you know they are there.
Anyone can message me if they need someone to talk to. I’m no therapist or expert in any sense but I can be a friend :)
#lotr#lord of the rings#lotr headcanons#lotr preferences#legolas#lotr fellowship#aragorn#frodo baggins#boromir#meriadoc brandybuck#peregrin took#merry and pippin#gandalf the grey#gandalf#gimli#samwise gamgee#lotr x reader#lotr x y/n#lotr x you#legolas x reader#aragorn x reader#boromir x reader#merry x reader#pippin x reader#gimli x reader#sam gamgee#frodo x reader#the lord of the rings
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How about ‘forgetting’ to say ‘I love you’ back to Ace and anyone else?
ooo the betrayal! The drama! I can see it now
I added Leona, Idia, and Malleus
Request rules and Masterlists
Ace:
oh no you don't
if you don't say it back he will repeat himself getting louder each time until you hear him
if for some reason you still don't say it back or hear him, he's following you and shouting "I LOVE YOU"
and if you still don't say it back for some reason? well two can play that game
he'll walk away but next time you say I love you to him, he's not going to say it back
he'll either respond with a "yeah" or "same"
Leona:
how dare you.
forgetting to say I love you back to Leona is a serious offence
you may think you're safe but he's following you
and when he gets close enough he is flopping on top of you
doesn't matter if you're standing or sitting or laying down
all of his body weight is going on top of you
all he says is that he's not going to move until you say it back
you'll basically be forced to say it back
Leona is heavy and doesn't move easily
if somehow you can move him, he'll just move back on top of you
once you finally say it back he's content
...doesn't mean he'll move tho since he's gotten comfortable....
Idia:
it always takes Idia a lot of courage to say I love you in the first place
but when he said it and you didn't say it back, he's gone into panic mode
he's not going to say it again
he'll just accept the pain of you not saying it back
Idia's brain is in overdrive
oh god you didn't say I love you back so clearly you've realized what a weirdo he is and you want nothing to do with him anymore because why would anyone want to be with him-
please come back and say I love you
the longer it takes you to say it again the further his thoughts go
one "i love you" after that will reset his brain
crisis averted
Malleus:
instant heartbreak
he's so upset
why did you not say it back?
perhaps you didn't hear him
Malleus will move closer to you and say it again
if you still don't say it, his soul is crushed
he's thinking of all the reasons you might not be saying it back
there's no way you don't love him anymore, he simply refuses to believe it
eventually settles on the conclusion that you must be upset with him
so now he's doing everything he can to fix whatever mistake he made
when you see him again he's sitting there with a bunch of gifts and he's showering you in affection
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#ace trappola#twst ace#ace trapolla x reader#leona kingscholar#twst leona#twst leona x reader#leona x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#idia shroud#twst idia#idia x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia#twst malleus#malleus x reader#malleus draconia x reader
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I don't want to talk about this much, but it may affect page uploads.
Saturday night, I was assaulted and strangled by my brother. This is not the first time he's done this, but it was severely excalated this time. I deserved it. Honestly, I wish he'd succeeded so nobody would have to deal with my shit anymore. I'm still very much in crisis mode, and I'm so sorry if I disappear. I'm praying I can continue working despite the situation, but this may warrant a short break.
I'm so sorry for any inconvenience this may cause, and I'm even more sorry I'm bringing this up at all. I need to stop talking from now on, honestly. I just wanted to communicate why I may poof. I don't know. I'm scared, and I can't do this. But I have to keep going.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
#abuse mention#im not so afraid to use that word now#but i still feel so much guilt#it must have been my fault#im a screw up#all i ever do is ruin things and bring people down#anyway sorry ncksncjd#not cat#important#notice#i cant do this#i cant#ask to tag#suicidal ideation#im so very tired
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Counting Noses
“This is an interesting document,” Palpatine said, looking up from it at Senator Amidala. “But you must understand… at this critical time in the war, to change the means by which it is being waged would be a terrible mistake.”
“I must understand no such thing, Chancellor,” Padme replied. “The argument for your emergency powers was that they were necessary to cut through the gridlock of Senatorial factions. No such gridlock now exists. The Grand Army of the Republic exists and has been winning victories. The powers you have are emergency powers, and it is no longer an emergency.”
Palpatine gave her an odd look. “I was kidnapped yesterday, Senator.”
“We are quite aware,” Bail Organa agreed. “However, a move like that is…”
“Similar to what I did, during the Naboo crisis,” Padme said. “A desperation move – and one that failed. The Confederation would not have launched an attack of that nature if they were confident in bringing about a successful conclusion to the war.”
She clasped her hands. “Chancellor – this is a request, out of friendship, that you give back your emergency powers before it becomes necessary to force the issue.”
“Are you threatening me?” Palpatine asked. “Senator, I realize that your past may have given you an exaggerated view of how easy it is to replace a Chancellor, but this is a time of crisis.”
“I think our views on the crisis are different to yours, Chancellor,” Mon Mothma stated.
“Chancellor, you don’t appear to remember one of the core principles of the Republic,” Sweitt Concorkill added. “That principle is democracy. You have been taking all kinds of actions based on a single vote from the start of the war, and you are refusing the clearly expressed will of the Senate.”
“What?” Palpatine snapped. “I am doing no such thing! You don’t speak for the Senate!”
“Read the title of the document,” Padme said. “None of us would have come here to make empty threats, Chancellor. We represent two thousand Senators who are of like minds on this matter.”
“That’s eighty percent of the Senate,” Mon Mothma provided, helpfully. “Indeed, this is the most unified that the Senate has ever been on anything.”
Palpatine scowled.
“I disagree with your assessment,” he said, shortly. “And you will not use weight of numbers to bully me into doing the wrong thing.”
“Isn’t that literally the definition of democracy?” Meena Tills asked, quietly.
“Well, that could have gone better,” Bail muttered, as they left the Supreme Chancellor’s office.
“I know,” Padme replied, already on her comlink. “Hey, Ani! Just to tell you, we met with the Chancellor…”
There was a pause, during which Bail Organa leaned in to Mon Mothma.
“You know it’s not quite eighty percent?” he asked. “Thirty-six columns, seventy-two rows, it’s actually seventy-seven percent. Seventy-three if you account for junior reps.”
“I was accounting for the Senators and Representatives who’ve left their positions during the war,” Mon replied. “It’s actually eighty point five if you do that. Does Padme really think she’s being subtle?”
“All I know indicates that she’s the subtle one of their relationship,” Bail shrugged. “Maybe she should have had some body doubles pretend to be in a relationship instead.”
Padme shook her head. “...yeah, he refused because he didn’t believe he should give up the powers, like the war might still go the wrong way,” she said. “Like you guys would just stop fighting if he lost emergency powers! It’s weird… yeah, I’ll probably have to no-confidence him… I know, I know, but it’s the principle of the thing, he could get voted back in again but that would reset the emergency powers and that’s what actually matters… love you too!”
She turned the comlink off. “I intend to call a vote of no confidence in the next session tomorrow morning.”
“Wow,” Chi said, blinking. “Padme, do… do you understand that people can overhear com calls?”
“No, I’m not using speaker mode,” Padme replied, with a shrug.
“Just let it go,” Bail advised the Pantoran senator.
#If they don't make the size of the Senate canon#I will assume something funny#star wars#palpatine#padme amidala#they once said it was only 1024 senators#making this a petition of everyone twice#petition of 2000
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DOES TIME STOP IN A BLACK HOLE??
Blog#427
Wednesday, August 14th, 2024.
Welcome back,
Theoretical physics went into crisis mode in 1974, when Stephen Hawking first argued that black holes destroy information. Hawking showed that a black hole can evaporate, gradually transforming itself and anything it consumes into a featureless cloud of radiation. During the process, information about what fell into the black hole is apparently lost, violating a sacred principle of physics.
This remained an open problem for almost 50 years, but the pieces started falling into place in 2019 through research that I was involved in. The resolution is based on a new understanding of spacetime and how it can be rewired through quantum entanglement, which leads to the idea that part of the inside of a black hole, the so-called island, is secretly on the outside.
To understand how we arrived at these new ideas, we must begin with the inescapable nature of black holes.
Nothing seems more hopeless than trying to get out of a black hole—in fact, this impossibility is what defines black holes. They are formed when enough matter is confined within a small enough region that spacetime collapses in on itself in a violent feedback loop of squeezing and stretching that fuels more squeezing and stretching. These tidal forces run to infinity in finite time, marking the abrupt end of an entire region of spacetime at the so-called black hole singularity—the place where time stops and space ceases to make sense.
There is a fine line within the collapsing region that divides the area where escape is possible from the point of no return. This line is called the event horizon. It is the outermost point from which light barely avoids falling into the singularity. Unless a thing travels faster than light—a physical impossibility—it cannot escape from behind the event horizon; it is irretrievably stuck inside the black hole.
The one-way nature of this boundary is not immediately problematic. In fact, it is a robust prediction of the general theory of relativity. The danger starts when this theory interacts with the wild world of quantum mechanics.
Quantum theory redeems black holes from being the greedy monsters they are made out to be. Every calorie of energy they consume they eventually give back in the form of Hawking radiation—energy squeezed out of the vacuum near the event horizon.
The idea of getting something out of nothing may sound absurd, but absurdity is not the worst allegation made against quantum mechanics. The emptiness of the vacuum in quantum theory belies a sea of particles—photons, electrons, gravitons, and more—that conspire to make empty space feel empty. These particles come in carefully arranged pairs, acting hand in hand as the glue that holds spacetime together.
Originally published on https://www.scientificamerican.com
COMING UP!!
(Saturday, August 17th, 2024)
"DID MARS EVER CONTAIN WATER??"
#astronomy#outer space#alternate universe#astrophysics#universe#spacecraft#white universe#space#parallel universe#astrophotography
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Vaggie in the show really did piss me off, I just…feel bad for the character, like Viv HATES her so much and it shows. For most of the season, she’s just Millie 2.0. Her entire character revolves around Charlie. She exists to help her, to make her dream come true. Without Charlie she’s literally nothing and the show FLAT OUT says that itself in the third episode. I love how during that, she says she doesn’t know who she is without Charlie, but then proceeds to sing about how much she wants to protect her, something we already knew. Like…even Viv doesn’t know who Vaggie is without Charlie and that’s fucking SAD bro. How have you had this character for years and can’t even answer simple writing 101 questions about who they are and what they do outside of their partner/peers. And her having an identity crisis arc would have worked, but the show doesn’t do anything with that concept. Husk says she “hates herself”, and while her exorcist reveal may be the reason to that, the show puts no effort into actually showing us that on screen, cause the writers can’t seem to realize that we don’t know who Vaggie is at all OR without Charlie around. What are her likes and dislikes? What are her hobbies? Interests? None of that in the “female led” show!
Outside of her love for Charlie she’s SO flat and empty, and sadly her VA’s performance plays a heavy part in that cause Vaggie now just sounds so bored and lifeless all the time. Then we actually get to her exorcist reveal and I just know Viv stole this idea from the fan theories and decided to do it at the last minute, because the way it’s handled is so poorly done and lazily rushed. I felt NOTHING during that reveal because the show didn’t give me a reason to care. Not just cause everyone and their momma predicted it, but because there is ZERO buildup to it. Would have been nice to see this secret eating Vaggie up emotionally throughout the season and determined to keep it a secret, but nah…just flat out lay it on us like you do with all your characters Viv. Like….maybe develop the character FIRST before you reveal her darkest secret, and maybe actually show how this secret affects said character so we actually give a damn when it’s revealed.
Then near the end she has a supposed “arc” or we’re of course just told that. The moment Carmilla said that Vaggie was “too bloodthirsty and desperate for revenge rather than thinking of the people she loved”, truly shows how Viv doesn’t understand her own fucking characters despite trying to convince everyone she does. All we’ve SEEN is Vaggie thinking about the people she loves. You’ve shown us nothing else outside of that, you’ve said yourself that her whole purpose is protecting Charlie and making her dreams come true so what the hell was Carmilla saying? This of course would have made more sense if Vaggie was someone who desperately wanted to get back at heaven and we see her rage take over her love for Charlie and her plans, but again….we don’t SEE any of that. If anything all we see is someone who DOES care about the people around her and her actions were always out of love. I also hate how her arrival in hell is in flashback mode, this series is so allergic to taking it’s time, cause these are things you could have made into a full episode within itself, same for her meeting and falling in love with Charlie. Vaggie is a character that’s so easy to make likable and deep, and she WAS likable. But Viv could give less of a shit about her, in the end she ended up being so flat. Love how the joke of her name is that she was given that name by a sexist pig character, yet Viv decided to keep said name for her too that’s SUCH good writing.
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