#kasalanan ko nanaman lahat. bakit kung naging engineer ba ako mas madali buhay? parang di rin. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kasarian · 4 days ago

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im glad to be friends with one person who at least gets me and is so very patient with me even tho we dont talk much bc of timezones because if not i wouldve been worst off. recently been reaffirmed again and again that the world will keep blaming me for things i never did and will nitpick me of my mistakes because i forgot left something a mess after my routine of cleaning consistently or something like that.

#i may or may not be in crisis mode #ive unfortunately broke my streak of blunt SH #no cuts. but ive been hitting myself again and i hate it.#thank fucking god for my system but also god im so guilty.#just a goddamn burden because i cant get any help #im supposed to help myself but woof woof bark bitch i dont have the resources to.#my art isnt good enough for people. they all think its worth 12 dollars tops and the rest is overspending.#like im sorry i have needs and the world is expensive.#i wonder where it started. my overall negativity. what if i werent alive anymore would that ease my parent's burdens? haha.#that theory hasnt been proven yet on yes or no.#kasalanan ko nanaman lahat. bakit kung naging engineer ba ako mas madali buhay? parang di rin.#parang at that point nagpakamatay na sana ako nung pandemic for real.#vent #im on my period and its so. fucking heavy and it hurts for once again btw so maybe thats why im emotional but fucking hell i wanna perish.#i feel insane right now i feel like . well. nothing.

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