#thank fucking god for my system but also god im so guilty.

[kasarian]

im glad to be friends with one person who at least gets me and is so very patient with me even tho we dont talk much bc of timezones because if not i wouldve been worst off. recently been reaffirmed again and again that the world will keep blaming me for things i never did and will nitpick me of my mistakes because i forgot left something a mess after my routine of cleaning consistently or something like that.

[justanotherbrooke]

Pinned Post V2

My Neocities!!!!! (its a WIP)

Hello I am Brooke i am dog or fox depends

also like 18+ please tumblr has changed me as a person lol

Usually I am a girl but also sometimes im like a little furry creature that is kinda just a puppy so like bwekh

also this blog will just be how i feel during the day lol, also started hrt: Sep 19th 2023

I use It/She pronouns and honestly i am fine with any pronouns except for masculine ones so... if you want to call me by some fun pronouns have at it i guess!

I am bisexual and by bisexual lets just say that is still under heavy scrutiny and i might just be a lesbian

I am currently in university studying computer science, I am in the earlier classes however, I do know how to program in(varying degrees) Java, Python, C++, C, gdscript, html, and css ,and I am learning assembly right now.

I also use Linux, thank God for the arch wiki

Does this blog have a theme: No! it is whatever the fuck i feel like at the moment

Also if I dont respond to a message or being mentioned im sorry i am very forgetful and also dumb feel free to uhh dm msg or whatever again i dont have tumblr on mobile so like i welcome the notifications :3

hmm guess i can also just put a list of things that i think are cool i guess

Right cool i get to put a long rant that i will hopefully edit over time!

Games

Rimworld

Space Station 13

Space Station 14

Minecraft

Factorio

VrChat(specifically karaoke)

Mario Kart

Guilty Gear

Music

Will wood

Will wood and the tapeworms

Glass Beach

Ado

Good Kid

Femtanyl

YonKaGor

Fake Type

Left at London

KanKan

Lemon Demon

Arc System Works

Jhariah

Chonny Jash

Car Seat Headrest

INOHA

Stomach Book

awerawa

Salv the Dog

Mailpup

Azali

Patricia Taxxon

Friends without Faces

r u s s l e b u c k

ida deerz

Blahaj

blahaj - Aurora

blahaj - Grongus

rainbowhaj - Gerald

greyhaj - shork

will put more when im not as lazy :3

[historixally-accurate]

hee hoo its late at night but im still awake so im repsonding teehee. youre probably gonna see this during breakfast, so. good morning! ohaiyo早安 selamat pagi <3

YOURE A NATURAL ENGLISH A1er?!?!?!? god damn but also lowkey me too LOL. i dont remember much from when i was still wriitng narrative/discursive essays, but i found it easier than others for the most part. holy yap. ill gladly listen to you yap too its only an equivalent exchange...we're both a bit insane for men halfway across the world who love to go fast in a video game.

your primary school sounds like a nightmare. goddamn. i guess my prisch was also pretty pressurising, but from the sounds of yours, suddenyl i think it wasnt that bad after all... psle huh, crazy times. seems so long ago help now i feel old. i hope youre gonna be okay in your current school :,) the sg school system really doesnt let up, but its really, really important to know that youre never alone!

thanks for the compliment about marker mediums, though i dont think its actually that bad unless you have markers that are seriously in need of rescucitation. like on their last legs. unfortunately i cant send a picture of that kazuha because going anon removes the image sending feature, so maybe someday in the future. once i work up the courage to actually talk to you under my handle >_>

OH WOW you really have a hbg themed phone thats so cool u_u i agree with your family, thats swag as hell. the slingshot feinberg quote sent me for absolutely no reason, im shaking w laughter rn and frantically trying to suppress it so i dont wake my family. send help😭😭 and youre so real for the daily usage of the word "mongey". its only NOT invaded my daily speech because im purposely avoiding thinking about it...if i bury myself in doing sports surely the bigbigmongey brainrot wont get me smile (no this isnt copium wdym) this is ignoring the fact that without thinking i keep saying "what the sigma" and "what the skibidi" unironically btw. both my friends and i know im cooked as fuck

i actually did NOT know there was an upcoming BAC stream. im like a fake ahh fan... ill do my best to be there but uh. my duties arent over, despite it being the hols. this sucks :^(

mad respect to you, actually playing the game you watch. my lazy ass would NOT get off my ass enough to do this ever smh. im sure getting knocked off by a piglin is a pain every speedrunner can relate to . same goes from hitting the cope. except for me, if that shit ever happens im skipping the cope and striaght up hitting the bong. for SG legal reasons this is a JOKE! MOH please dont find me

hey you take lit too ? aura level just went up dawg. youve just caught a fat lit lover right here. im a guilty guilty poetry lover. sorry i just love both poetry and prose it makes me go WidePeepoHappy

lowkey though if you ever decide to take a HBG members legs may i suggest mr lewis fulham ive heard him being desrcibed as a birch tree so that means hes tall right. ill even aid and abet! im sure he wouldnt miss a few cm

bro did NOT just do the clash royale laugh at me😒😒my friends keep telling me im firmly chaotic evil. like damn where is the democracy bros didnt even give me a chance to squeak out a fart before straight up attacking my reputation😟 they my opps frfr

i get it when you say you get pressed cause whenever things dont go as theyre supposed to i inwardly get more and more tilted LMAOOO dw ur not the only one.

i would loooove to watch hbg do more sports related content because i find it hilarious that the one time at twitchcon (?) during poundy's football match there were SO MANY INJURIES... tf you mean couri broke his mf elbow in a sport supposedly restricted to legs. as a sportsperson i really do love playing sports wahaha <3

i cant tell if youre serious about liking amath but damn if you like amath thats really good smile :) much more formula based but overall more predictable.

question for today... what made you decide talkingmime was your favourite hbg member? kinda curious and wanted to give you a reason to yap more about him . feel free to type out a response the lnegth of the mekong river, i promise ill read it i love to read (maybe that why im such a good lurker LMAO). personally im still undecided on who my favouirte member is, but since ive talked so much about mr condiment cringe man 21custard i guess ill just say i like him cause of his goofy ahh humour and memes. im just a sucker for people with good vibes/dryass humour/an entire arsenal of your mom jokes. dont ask about tgat last one. im currently trying to know tekniik better and im falling victim to more deez nuts and your mom jokes than ive ever experienced before. i love it btw

holy yap i think ive talked too much.....never trust anything you say after 9pm....i think they were right the demons got to me. namely my unhealthy terminal obession with fart jokes. same to you, hope you have a beautiful mongey pyun pyun morning <3 always happy to give you an essay response. arigato for readin ;)

-sgmcsr anon

hi anon!!! sorry for the late response, I just got sick and I WAS SLEEPING FOR HALF THE DAY TODAY. let's get cracking

about my amazing spectacular skibidi English, yes! natural English a1-er ^_^ well actually it was only up till like eoys where I got my first DEVASTATING B3, but apart from that, I've been doin good for English. call me. idk Shakespeare. idk. ALSO SHARING OF YAP.. whenever you gain the courage to ask on main, I'll gladly yap with you... I'm online literally 24/7 now that I've got nothing to do with my life, so it'll be nice to speak with someone in the same timezone and who has the same interests that I do.

about my primary school, yeah it was a little bit of a nightmare academically. coming to think of it, because of all I experienced, it doesn't seem that bad because I experienced it. but on paper it's terrible. wow. anyway, not to be trauma dumpy or unskibidi ^_^ struggling to make friends in my current school, and MOE's school system is unrelentless as always, but ball it we fuck, I am okay.

about marker mediums.. I see... that's really cool.. yeah, all my markers are like. dried up and I haven't bothered to go buy new ones or ask for new ones </3 I'd love to see the weed smoking kazuha one day... very excited

about my skibidi HBG wallpaper. I feel like my layout is hella cramped, but its what I have to work with because. I don't know how to organise my phone. maybe I'll sit down one day and figure out how to make it cooler </3 also, very mongeyful, very beautiful. I am filled with mongey joy. ome

not sure if it's obvious, but fein has also cultivated my usage of the word 'skibidi' specifically?? it's very obvious because I say it every 5 seconds :') and because of one specific mime clip, fulham has influenced me to say the word 'peculiar' very very often 😭😭😭 like instead of calling someone weird, I'll say 'dude! you're soooo peculiar.' yeah, I'm a little normal!

bout the upcoming BAC stream, yeahhh I don't blame you... mime released that fact like. a couple streams ago, and even then nobody knew he was live except for like. 20 people? so i dont think it's just you who doesn't know, dw! I'm just caught in the loop :3 besides, it's on either November 22nd or 23rd, and it'll take at least 24 hours, so don't worry about not catching it for at least a little ^_^

about my. haha. very terrible learning of how to speedrun. despite getting all the help I could ever want to speedrun, I'm still absolutely terrible at it, and I can never find the motivation to do so </3 I'd love to be better and gain more confidence or motivation.. I just don't know how to do that. also, fuck hoglins, suck it pigs >:(

ALSO. FUCKING FART JOKES?? I'm drawing the line...anon... you are behind bars now........ STAY AWAY!!!!! (/j please stay they're funny) as someone who's purely true neutral, I have no comment and will nod my head, saying 'normal ass Tuesday in singapore'

about which HBG members people.. fuck it you get the point I'm tired of this format. yeah! Singaporeans and their short fuses, it is so normal and I am no exception </3 it's awesome tho, I can keep boundaries as someone who says yes too much 😎 hell eyah

HBG FOOTBALL. couriway breaking his arm, silver r runs spraining his ankle and tapl harvey also. straining his ankle iirc??? that shit was so chaotic. IF YOU WANT HBG PLAYING LIKE. FOOTBALL. THE MINECRAFT KIND. here's a feinbergfunny/feinberg rocks video. enjoy.

I haven't done too much amath, but. ohhh it's so. clear cut?? it's very inchresting. I think it's not terrible so far... but I can't say for myself </3 must keep grinding forward and see

GOLDS DAILY DOUBLE.. why is mime my favourite HBG member.. and how did I come to that conclusion... man, it's been like 2 months.. I think it's cuz i watched the silverrrunsfunny video about HoN? and it's a lot of mime n silverr clips... the 5 minutes that they were trapped doing parkour in a cubby hole tryna get the last easter egg made me extremely intrigued like.. who is this MIME GUY... he's so peculiar... and then I finish the video, and see talkingmimefunny recommended!! I watched all his videos. and I got hooked. SO FAST. ended up finding people who also like him, and found out he did BAC, and. the rest is history. or historix. haha. Hahaha. I like mime because of how smart and organised he is, I also like how he take initiative in a lot of events that he's participating in together with friends. I also like people who are snarky and have a very interesting voice but you didn't hear this from me. at all. aaanyway, apart from mime, I also really like nEmerald and fein? I like emerald because he reminds me of lifesteal cc mapic, which drew my attention to him. he's also really silly. and I'm a sucker for people who have green as their colour pallete. feinberg.. he's just. silly. and he's feinberg man I don't know what else to say bout that 🤷

Holy yap. happy 11pm! NEVER UTTER THE WORDS 'HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MONGEY PYUN PYUN MORNING' EVER AGAIN. I CRIED. SO HARD. it's fucking hilarious. I'll start using that with my friends. anyway, as always, have a skibidi-tastic, mega ultra kawaii, animefied morning if you see this, and an alpha, rizz master night if you're seeing this at night and you stay up.

here's your daily mime doodle :)

[nyan-koii]

Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players

aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update

PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen 

Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch

"Fck this game, i've had enough,"

"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"

Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"

"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"

His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see

"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"

Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far

"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"

"I think i get your fav character?"

"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"

"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"

Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long

"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"

"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"

"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"

"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"

"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"

!!!!

It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it

Type of player

Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner

Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month

"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully

He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!

He's very lucky. Very

Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.

'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'

'I want to be like him'

Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home

"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish

"not NOW!!" Clicks

The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.

Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.

"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"

He will be a c6 bennett haver!!

Type of player :

Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.

Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.

Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.

Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.

He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.

Everyone loves his teapot

Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real

"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"

"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"

"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"

"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"

'Bp?'

"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies

"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"

She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon

"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"

"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"

Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."

Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly

"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS

Type of player :

Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going

She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka

Ayaka main btw

Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out

Fragile resin = 0

Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon

"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"

"But i cant,"

Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there

Only coops if mitsuri is there

"So that someone can calm me down,"

"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"

Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.

"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"

"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"

"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"

"Oh yeah i know,"

"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"

"i just know right after you told me,"

"...."

Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something

"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"

"But the next banner is zhongli's,"

"....."

"Ah fuck it," buys

My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists

"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"

That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person

"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears

Type of player :

Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants

Zhongli main

Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it

"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"

Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it

Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs

Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.

"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"

His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it

They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately

Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears

"Zhongli main forever,"

Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.

Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.

"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"

"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"

Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit

"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"

"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"

In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team

"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems

"Tengen, you should control yourself!"

"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"

"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops

Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.

"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"

"Who do you main uzui?"

"Beidou,"

Type of player

Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs

R5 every battle pass weapon

Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff

Mona wanter

Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery

Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs

Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers

Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down

Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it

In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"

Doesnt heals his characters

[isdisorigionalenoughforyou]

Super sexy aa7 ideas that will never happen

*puts on my clown shoes

Themes: “the worst times are when lawyers have to smile their brightest, but you can’t be a lawyer 24/7” “sometimes (esp now) the system is WRONG”

CASE 1

Klavier Gavin prosecutes, because society has progressed beyond needing Paynes

And if the widespread complaint is that he’s too nice, this position is perfect

Make a witty remark abt feeling demoted >:(

Athena and Trucy dream team girls

Murder took place at a theater/has something to do with acoustics, to ~fit the characters~

Maybe Lamiroir was there 👀

Phoenix is once again a witness, but hes less infuriating. But still fucking funny infuriating

He mentions his college degree, vaguely. Pressing him reveals nothing.

Also address that TRUCY AND KLAVIER PROBABLY HAVE SOME TRAUMA FROM MURDERS AT THEIR PERFORMANCES

Defend a rando

The twist: the murder only could’ve been committed by someone with superhuman hearing, so Athena’s senses are vital here!!

End: the culprit tries to psychologically fuck with everyone, but Athena stays strong, maybe uses some noise cancelling headphones, and corners the SHIT out of them

Also, there’s a new judge. A higher judge than your normal judge, who is a boomer. BOOMER JUDGE

Post-trial: a comment about all them missing Apollo…

CASE 2

Athena vs Franziska von Karma

Athena calls her out on the whipping if that’s still a thing

[Maybe Trucy is there again for extra spice,,,] but Solo Thena would be EPIC

NEW FRANZISKA DESIGN

Maybe we can bring Maya back here, but NOT ACCUSE HER FOR MURDER

Or accuse her at the scene but quickly disprove it

Idk also address her trauma

Wow this is turning into ATHENA CYKES- ACE THERAPIST

Put Simon there too because he’s hilarious

Maybe him and Maya are casually attending Comic-Con for the Steel Samurai panel

Defendant: some toxic celebrity with DRAMA

the twist: the murderer was targeting several high-profile ppl, but only killed like. A janitor instead. They aren’t found OR arrested, but you get a not guilty by… indicting their accomplice. And it HURTS but you have to or its your not-guilty kinda-a-dick client that gets guilty

New judge plays by the written rules, so u can’t ague ur case

Franziska is skeptical of the Accomplice’s guilt, but she lets the verdict go because your client is innocent.

Athena cries to Phoenix about how she feels like she fricked up b/c she empathizes with the accomplice but also everyone, Phoenix does his best dad comfort—this is the truth that’s allowed in the confines of their court system.

CASE 3

NARUMITSU DATE

Open with a call from Maya. She loudly thanks the god/the holy mother for this

MURDER!!! AT THE VENUE  

Kay and Sebastian are there

GUMSHOEEEEE (OLDER SPRITE??? Higher salary?? Maggey too?)

Classic Wright vs Edgeworth

All the options are flirty

Everything is an innuendo

Trucy co-council is embarrassed by ur Old Man Flirting (NEW SPRITES)

Lampshade conflict of interest what with dating opposing council. Gloss over it completely

Phoenix’s college degree is vaguely mentioned to be helping him. This is Not elaborated on

The murder is some crazy shit that basically parodies the whole series

TWO SETS OF EVIL TWINS

3 cross poisonings and with INTERESTING results of chemicals mixing (Ema: 👀)

All the dying messages were faked

Handedness contradiction.

Some gross old guy appears, but you can punch him

The murder weapon goes from bloody knife with defendants fingerprints on it to glass shards of a broken bottle to an icicle to an overly spikey piece of hair

EXTRATERRITORIAL RIGHTS

For extra funnies: BOOMER JUDGE IS NOT USED TO THIS. They are the straight person of this comedy clown case.

For extra feels (the twist): Phoenix actually has an emotional breakdown on one of the investigation days. Maybe Trucy gets put at risk again, or something with poisoning, or even something with Kay or Seb (to show how much Phoenix cares, in general) and we address all the shit that he’s gone thru

Awkward comforting by miles

HUG SPRITE/ART

CASE 4

(shoves Klavier into Khura’in) GO FAKEGERMANBOY GO

Play as Apollo (khura’inese clothes sprites)

KLAVIER CO-COUNCIL (CASUAL SPRITES?? Put his hair up in a bun capcom im begging)

ADRESS AA4

Maybe at the end of one investigation, theres just. A heartfelt talk.

Ok ill make it heavy (b/c if its lighthearted these fuckos will never talk about their feelings)

LAMIROIR IS HERE TOO??

TRUCY ALSO- im sorry truce im shoving you everywhere because I want you to develop

maybe she and Klavier are like, performer bros

Apollo is happy that Trucy is but also feels alienated, like AA6 totally pulled him from his AA4 roots [COUGH]

CASUAL TRUCY SPRITE??? I would cry capcom

Nahyuta, Rayfa, and Apollo being awkward but trying (and mostly succeeding) siblings, Amara being a scary but p good queen momther

FRANZISKA INTERNATIONAL PROSECUTING??? Idk it’d be epic tho

She roasts Klavier so bad

Though he is very smart so she just roasts his terrible German

Resolve the Gramarye siblings here?

Include something with gender dysphoria to contrast how they butchered Robin Newman???

This is huge headcanon territory here tho

The Twist: realizing that this case cannot POSSIBLY be resolved in 3 fucking days. Also that Apollo is so backlogged that hes stressed and he probably needs help

Also someone tries to frame Klavier with his Gavinners-brand shoeprints

End: answer yes/no to Klavier working at Justice Law Offices. The choice affects his dialogue with Apollo in 7-5

CASE 5

Some fuckin. International level scandal

Elaborate on whatever the fuck “the phantom” was spying for? btw is the same that the culprits froms 7-2 and 7-4. maaybe 7-1?

And it involves MORE AUDITORIUMS

Open w/ calling Trucy, whos in the states. She mentions that Klavier casually got a Japanifornian defense attorney badge. Cue exasperation/fondness/incredulity (I promise this is relevant)

In Khura’in

Starts small- like a robbery, which leads to an attempt on Thalassa’s life. Again

Athena gets to therapy her

Then someone high-profile actually fucking dies

Athena (co-council Apollo) vs FINAL BOSS FRANZISKA

Lots of investigating with them

Talk about space center and grief

The twist: a person with low emotional output is framed, but they are innocent because LOWER EMOTIONAL REACTIONS DOESN’T MAKE YOU FUCKING EVIL

The other twist: Bring in 7-2 framed person for a character witness, show that they’re innocent. Athena is panicking because of Fear(?) so Apollo is determined to Do Something, and points out how this only happened because the system is Stupid and calls Klavier and Trucy

BECAUSE:

At the same time, there’s a stateside investigation. some botched, continued interreference at the Space Station

Klavier can pull an Edgeworth and investigate with Trucy

With parently narumitsu

Klavier talks about Apollo a lot, Trucy calls him out on it

Nahyuta is prosecuting this case

Depending on the relations between Klavier and Nahyuta established in 7-4, this will be hilarious or disastrous

Protective Yuty route: makes scathing comments about petty parts of Klavier- a petty-off

Teasing Yuty route: brings it up whenever Klavier talks about Apollo. Rlly funny banter. Klavier showing more human emotions sprites!!

Revisit the Space Center and get emo. Simon is here, arguing with Nahyuta

Because the cases go to trial simultaneously, the comment about the wrong conviction in 7-2 can be brought to the Japanifornian courts by Klavier and Trucy

They argue that Athena was forced to do that to spare an innocent and press HARD for legal reform

They call in Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth for reforms??

They also start a twitter war (that can be investigation minigame) and get public opinion up abt it

Yuty vouches for change, w/ khura’in as evidence

SO AA4 CAN GET KINDA RESOLVED!!

DUNK ON BOOMER JUDGE

BONUS: CASE 6: TURNABOUT CHILLOUT

Phoenix vs Franziska

Larry time

Scruffy time

Idk man. No more international stuff, just good old fashioned cleaning up ur shitty dad’s messes amiright

Resolve things with the Shelly card?

oldbag cameo but you file a restraining order

help trucy and pearls with college

TLDR: Athena actually tracks an international conspiracy that has weight, the AJ gang once again changes the system, Phoenix gets emotional resolution, Franziska helps international stuff AND gets emotional resolution, and i finally stop trying to throw hands with capcom. 

[jango-fettish]

The Ruler and the Killer (Syrena Aster x Sunburst Squadron)

Rating: R or M (I don’t know, yo)

Word Count: 7,376

Warnings: DEATH (there is character death in this you have been warned), canonical-type violence, cursing, the Heretics are meanie butt heads with meanie butt head rules, brief mention of a blowjob (im proud, i only used cock in this once), my possible typos and grammatical errors (please let me know if i should warn about anything else!!!)

A/N: Thanks to @jangofctts​​ again for creating the Sunburst Squadron and letting me use them. And thank you for letting me kILL MAX. Also, thank you to @weebblossom​ for letting me steal your Heretic personality for Fenn. 

Someone once told Syrena, when she was a young girl still surrounded by the loving embrace of her mother, that a person can be brought back to life just by remembering them. If that were true, Syrena had a long list of names she’d like to bring back. Most with a black check next to their name: the people she wanted to bring back just to kill all over again. People who deserved to die for a second time, like her mother who once held her so tightly to her chest and promised to love her till the end of time. 

But there were a few she would bring back because, truthfully, they did not deserve to die. She shouldn’t have killed them and she would do anything to turn back the hands of time to fix her mistake...her error that resulted in the blood of an innocent spilled on her behalf. But like Death, Time was a fickle friend to Syrena and once something is done, there wasn’t enough money or praying in the world that she could do to change it. 

Syrena frowned to herself, a dark unsettling feeling sinking in the pit of her stomach. It was the type of feeling someone wouldn’t want before they were about to commit a crime against the Republic. She’d had it once before, when she took her first solo job after her training finished. She had just turned sixteen. Three innocent people died that day, three names added to her list that she would bring back. Syrena looked around the ship, wondering if the others had the same feeling, but they were all preoccupied with checking their weapons on last time. 

“What’s on your mind?” a sweet voice said, tearing Syrena away from her thoughts. 

She looked up to see Nettie, a plucky Rodian that had a knack for getting too involved in other people’s business. Syrena supposed it fit: Nettie was a hacker, a damn good one too, so of course she would try to get as much information out of a person as possible as she did with a computer. Nettie’s bulbous black eyes stared down at Syrena, trying to silently unlock the secrets she held. They looked as if starlight was streaking through them. It made Syrena uncomfortable and only added to the unsettling feeling in her stomach, making it expand upward and try to claw its way out her throat. 

Syrena had known Nettie for some time now, probably the most out of anyone on their four person team. They had been roommates during the beginning years of training, spending nearly six year stuck in the same small room together and trying to survive. Nettie was sweet and soft, everything a Heretic wasn’t supposed to be. They spent years whispering secrets and crying to one another, only letting the other person in. They were each other’s rock during those six years. The only reason why they went their separate ways was because they had to choose their speciality, to continue their training and become the deadly weapons the Heretics were known throughout the galaxy as. The Rodian chose technology and hacking, while Syrena stuck with combat and weaponry. 

“All this trouble just for some information,” Syrena said, rubbing the palms of her hands on her thighs. The ship they were on lurched to the left again, the various weapons hanging from the walls clinging together. “Seems a little overkill to have four people for this.”

It was rare for there to be a mission that required more than just two Heretics. And even then, one was usually good enough. But for this specific mission, there were two teams of four. They didn’t even know what information they were after. 

“Get in, get the information, get out. Kill anyone that gets in your way, if necessary,” the Creator had told them when giving the assignment. The Creator wanted everything, so they would get everything. The other team would take care of the distraction. 

“Knowing your enemy from the inside out is the only true way of instilling fear,” Nettie said, slowly sliding into the open seat next to Syrena. 

Syrena recoiled at her words, “Since when was the Republic our enemy? We haven’t chosen a side in over a millenia.”

“Perhaps our current Creator wishes to change that,” the Rodian pondered. 

“‘Bout time, if you ask me,” another voice said, cutting through their conversation. The melodic tone clashed with Syrena’s patience like loud cymbals being beaten together over and over again. “The Republic has been taking advantage of the Heretics for decades now. Glad we finally have someone in charge that has a clear vision of what we should have always been.”

“Oh, piss off back to Dothomir, Fenn,” Syrena said, rolling her eyes. She leaned back and shut her eyes, barely catching the snarl form on the Zabraks face. “The Heretics shouldn’t take sides. We’re nothing more than the shadows that charge the wealthy bastards of the galaxy a bit too much to do their dirty work.” 

“Rich coming from you, snake,” Fenn hissed, stepping closer to Syrena. 

“You got something to say, Pointy? Say it.” Syrena’s eyes were still closed, but she could feel the heat and rage radiating off of the Zabrak. 

“You’re fucking a clone. We all know it.”

Syrena’s eyes shot open into a glare, “Who I’m fucking isn’t anyone’s business, especially yours.” 

“If it clouds your piss poor judgement on a job, then yeah it is my business.”

There was a shock of electricity throughout the cabin of the ship. In an instant, Syrena was on her feet, the blade she kept hidden in her wrist vambrace shot out and pressed against the Zabrak’s neck. Fenn, for all of her faults, was just as quick as Syrena. Her own vibroblade was pointing upwards against Syrena’s stomach. One movement from either of them would result in a painful and bloody death. They were snarling at each other, animalistic noises coming from their throats. 

“Alright, that’s enough,” Alyze said.

Alyze was one of the oldest Heretics. They were well respected in the community and had a favorable opinion with the Republic after helping to train the clone ARC Troopers at the beginning of the war. It was a well paying gig, one any Heretic would jump to take. But Alyze was the best choice for the job. 

Syrena and Fenn continued glaring at each other. Syrena pressed the knife harder onto Fenn’s skin, satisfied when the Zabrak winced at the sting of the freshly sharpened blade. Alyze finally stepped close to the two, wanting the situation to diffuse. If Alyze was in a worse mood, they would have physically stopped the encounter, but their thoughts and care were focused on the mission. 

“I said enough,” Alyze barked, their irritation with the two smaller women growing, “We’re almost at the drop location. Get your heads out of your asses and get ready for deployment.”

Fenn hissed at Syrena before drawing her vibroblade away. Syrena could only laugh to herself as she retracted her blade. It slowly slid back into its secret compartment.  

“Unless your mouth is the one on my pussy, shut the fuck up about who I’m sleeping with, got it?” Syrena warned. Fenn went back to her seat, keeping her glare on Syrena. 

Syrena approached Nettie again, holding onto one of the overhanging bars. The closer the ship got to the drop point, the bumpier it became. 

“Fenn has a point you know,” Nettie said, looking up at Syrena. “Your infatuation with the clone could be detrimental to this and future missions. I give it a 88% chance of failing and resulting in the death of the clone or yourself.”

“Nettie, can you just,” Syrena sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose, “just not be a know-it-all right now.”

“Interesting, though, how they are allowing this relationship to continue.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“The powers that be. The Creator. Myrkos.” Syrena frowned at the mention of her old Master. “They stopped Alyze’s relationship with that Jedi on Kamino before it became....a hindrance to the Creator’s objective.”

“Well clearly they don’t think that this is anything more than me screwing around.”

“For now,” Nettie said, her voice sounding far away. “Though, you have been put in their favor since you provided the intel on when the troopers change their shifts, giving us the perfect opportunity to drop in. Does your clone know that you used him for information? Is that the type of bedroom talk you can get out of him? Impressive.”

“Nettie, just...just shut up, please.”  

“My apologies, no harm intended,” Nettie said with a smile. 

She was beginning to make Syrena feel uneasy, and rather guilty. She had gotten the information out of Bruiser during one of their more...intimate encounters, but he didn’t have to spill the beans. It was his choice to tell her, his choice to trust her even though she had warned him not to.

“Syrena,” Nettie began again, “I don’t know what gods you pray to or if you even believe in any. But you better hope that they are on your side. Who knows exactly what would happen should you lose favor with them. Or worse, lose favor with the Creator.” 

“Let’s go,” Alyze interjected before Syrena could fully process what Nettie had said, “we’re at the drop zone.”

Getting into the Republic military outpost on Coruscant was easy, especially with the knowledge Syrena had provided regarding trooper shift changes. In the end, it was an easy drop, with a quick landing on the roof before the four of them got in through the ventilation system. Surely by now the Republic would learn to get smaller vents. 

“It changes all the time,” Bruiser had said to her in confidence, his words breathy as her tongue swirled around the head of his flushed leaking cock. “Never know until, oh kriff, never know until we’re called.”

She only hoped that they weren’t stationed there today. She usually warned Bruiser if she was involved in any unsavory Heretic business. Though it was typically only a, ‘Hey I’m arriving in like five minutes to fuck shit up, see you then,’ type of warning. But five minutes was better than nothing. 

“Syrena,” Alyze harshly whispered, pulling her out of her memories, “Get your head in the fucking mission.” 

“Sorry,” Syrena mumbled, checking the hallway for the third time to see if anyone was coming. 

They just needed to clear one more hallway before they made it to the main room containing anything and everything regarding the Republic’s Military Intelligence. Just two more blast doors and then the easy part would come. Nettie was ready, her gear already hooked into the security system and working on encoding the firewalls. 

“Their systems are as protected as this building,” Nettie scoffed sarcastically. “Ray shields are down, we can proceed.” 

“Good, let's get this shit over with,” Fenn said, walking down the hallway with her blaster drawn.

Alyze and Nettie trailed behind her, their own weapons at the ready. Syrena, however, looked back the way they came, the unsettling feeling rising once again. She could feel the Force stirring ominously, hear the way the electricity cackled throughout the walls. Something was terribly wrong, but Syrena had no idea what it was or if she could do anything about it. 

“Syrena,” Nettie said. Syrena turned, almost slamming straight into the Rodian, “Let’s go.” 

Syrena nodded shortly, following the shorter woman carefully down the hallway. Her nerves were on high alert and she couldn’t read the energy in the Force anymore. 

They got into the room quickly, Nettie making her way to the main computer to set up her gear. 

“Syrena, you stay here with Nettie, make sure everything goes alright. Fenn and I will scout the hallways,” Alyze ordered before looking at the spunky Zabrak, “We’re here to incapacitate only. I don’t care what the Creator said, I don’t want any unnecessary deaths.”

“What’s the fun in that?” Fenn whined, “If you ask me, the only good clone is a dead one.” 

“It’s a good thing no one asked you,” Alyze snapped before looking to Syrena, “Lock the doors behind us.” 

Syrena nodded, sending a seething glare towards Fenn. She truly would not care if something happened to Fenn during this mission. If she had the opportunity to, Syrena was sure she would just step to the side and let blaster fire turn the Zabrak to dust.

She watched as Fenn stalked back into the hallway, putting her brass knuckles on. Syrena had been on the receiving end of one of Fenn’s beat downs. She knew the power and aggression behind Fenn’s hits and only hoped that whoever would be receiving them today truly deserved it. Alyze grabbed Syrena by the arm, pulling her close to their side. 

“You need to promise me something,” they said, their dark box braids brushing against Syrena’s forearm, “I need you to be one of us if your clone and his friends are the ones here. I need you to remember who you are.” 

Syrena looked up at Alyze, their dark eyes boring into her own pink ones, “You ever regret it? Letting them determine who you could be with or love, like a good little Heretic?” 

Syrena’s words cut through the air, her accusatory tone causing Alyze to recoil. They dropped Syrena’s arm, “You’re the reason why we are here, Syrena. Don’t forget that.” 

Syrena watched Alyze follow Fenn out the door, a small twinge of regret surging through her bones before she shut and locked the blast doors. 

******

“How long until we are back online?” Commander Fox asked into his commlink, his station in a frenzy since they were locked out of the security system. He had taken a small group of troopers, along with Commander Blanche and most of the Sunburst Squadron, to go hall by hall, looking for the intruders. Two of the members were needed elsewhere. 

“Won’t know for awhile, sir,” the trooper on the other end responded. “We keep coming across more and more viruses.”

“Can you tell me anything?” Fox asked exasperated. 

“Got a good photo of the perps. It’s ‘bout 20 minutes old, can’t confirm where inside they are. Forwarding to you now, sir.”

He looked back to Commander Blanche, signaling for him to come over. With a long stride, Blanche made his way to Fox, speaking once he got close enough, “I think it’s best if we split up, my squad will head to the east while yours goes west. Cover more ground that way.” 

“I agree,” Fox said with a nod. In an instant a hologram photo was pinged to his wrist link. “These are who we are dealing with. Their running facial recognition now.”

Blanche took a long look at the hologram, his face dropping into a frown as he recognized one of the faces, “Dank farrik, Heretics. We need more troopers.” 

“Well that explains the other attack,”Fox said to himself. “Working simultaneously.”

“Other attack?” Blanche asked.

“Another group of four, what I’m assuming now, Heretics bombed a hospital. Thorn has the rest of my men and the 104th to help with the wreckage. 212th are trying to track them down.” Fox looked back to his wrist link, the blue hued photo flickering as the communication systems surged. He had dealt with Heretics before, lost men to them. They were feral and unyielding beings with no clear allegiance, which made them even more dangerous. “You recognize any of them?” 

Blanche took a closer look at the hologram, his face dropping when he did recognize one of the small figures, “Syrena Aster. She’s, uh...helped us a few times, been against us more.” 

If that were only the case. Blanche took a quick peek back at the rest of his men, his eyes settling on Bruiser’s large form before looking back at the hologram. 

“Do you trust her?” 

“I trust her about as far as I can throw her, and even then she’d probably turn around and stab me,” Blanche scoffed. 

“Do any of your men trust her?” 

Blanche was silent at this. It wasn’t a secret that Bruiser had some sort of relationship with the Heretic. Blanche and the General had both warned him against it, but Syrena had the heavy infantry trooper wrapped around her finger. 

“We don’t know what they are after or who paid them to get it. I need to know if any of your men would hesitate at any moment with doing their job.” 

“They’ll do their jobs,” Blanche snapped. “It’ll be fine.” 

Fox paused for a moment before nodding curtly, “We’ll meet back here in 30 minutes if we don’t find anyone.” 

“Got it,” Blanche said.

“And Commander,” Fox said, dropping the informal nature of their conversation, “If they went to where I think they were going, we can’t let them get away with that information. Engage if your team finds them, kill ‘em if necessary.”

Blanche nodded again, his hands clenching and unclenching. He turned away, stalking back to his team. His mind was a mess. It just had to be her with them, couldn’t have been some faceless Heretic that they didn't know. But this was Syrena and although most of the squadron found her just tolerable, there were others that liked her, that needed her. 

“We know who we are dealing with, Blanchie?” Max asked. Just his soothing demeanor was enough to calm the Commander down. 

“She’s short, blonde, and green,” Blanche said, “and more annoying than a Gungan.” 

“Syrena’s not that annoying,” Max argued softly. Blanche could picture the smile on the sergeant’s face under the helmet. “Plus, she makes Bruiser happy.”

Blanche grimaced under his helmet, keeping a rather mean comment about how it was her mouth and cunt that made Bruiser happy, not Syrena herself. “You’re too nice for your own good.”

Max sighed. Maybe he was, but he’d rather believe that Syrena wasn’t as bad as everyone believed than condemn her to be just an evil seductress. He looked over to Bruiser, “You think he knows she’s here?” 

“No,” Blanche admitted, watching as Bruiser checked over his Z-6 rotary blaster cannon, “And let's keep it that way for now.”

Max nodded stiffly. He didn’t like keeping things from his team members, especially something like this. Blanche maybe didn’t see it, but Max had noticed the way Bruiser and Syrena were around each other. How they seemed to be each other’s center of gravity. He heard the noises coming from Bruiser’s room and the soft words they whispered to each other. He knew he wasn’t the only one that saw their searing looks and secretive touches. It was like they were making sure that the other was actually real, that they weren’t just some spectral being about to fade into the ether. 

The team moved out, Blanche only relaying that there were four possible perps: highly armed and highly dangerous. The hallways had been long abandoned, any officer or staff member told to evacuate the building when the alarms first went off. They went door to door, checking to see if anyone was hidden in the dark corners of unlit rooms. 

Blanche realized as they passed another empty set of rooms that they had transitioned into the Naval Intelligence headquarters and were approaching the main intelligence room. All of the GAR’s battle strategies, outpost locations, and other important information was stored there.

“I hear something,” Jaws said, positioning himself behind a large column. He signaled for the others to find cover. 

There was a large bang, like the sound of blast doors shut, followed by two bickering voices. 

“You egg her on anymore and I’ll let her kill you,” one said. 

“You would take that bitches side,” the other voice sneered, “You are both whores for Republic dogs.”

“Fenn,” the first voice dropped low and threatening, “if you speak to me that way again, I will tear your heart out of your chest and eat it before letting her finish you off.” 

The troopers were silent as the footsteps of the Heretic’s retreated down another hallway. 

“We need to get those blast doors open,” Blanche said. 

“I can shoot at it?” Bruiser suggested, lifting the blaster cannon up a little. 

Max shook his head, “Takes too long, buddy. I got some detonators, but I need to get closer.” 

“Alright,” Blanche said with a nod, “Sweets, Fuse, Blue, you three stay here and watch our backs. They might find a way to circle around. Bruiser, Max, Jaws, and I will approach the doors. Has anyone heard from Kami or Void?” 

“Kami said they shot down a ship that tried to escape to the lower levels, but can’t confirm who was in it or if it was even the one they were after,” Max said, “Void’s up in his arms in injuries.” 

“Alright, let’s make this quick so we can rendezvous with the General and others,” Blanche ordered, getting his blaster at the ready. He hoped it would be quick and simple. He hoped Syrena would see them and somehow convince her team to just back off and leave. 

But nothing was ever simple with Syrena.

The four of them slowly approached the blaster doors, their footsteps silent against the shiny floors, their warped reflections inching closer and closer to the intended target with each step. Blanche looked back for a moment, watching as Sweets, Fuse, and Blue’s figures got farther and farther away. The hallway seemed longer, more narrow, than it actually was. Blanche’s heart was racing, he could feel his hands and neck sweating the closer they got to the blast doors. 

“Fenn, You hear that?” a voice said. It sounded like it was coming from everywhere as the crisp sound echoed off the hallways. The four troopers quickly took cover behind columns and sections of the wall that jutted out.  

“No,” the second voice, Fenn, responded with a giggle, “but I can smell them. Looks like we’re going to have some fun after all, Alyze. Come out, come out wherever you are, boys. We just want to play.” 

Fenn’s voice was melodic and sweet, almost like she was singing to them. She was the one to fire first, sending a scalding red blaster shot where Jaws’s head had been seconds before. 

It happened all at once, blaster fire coming from both sides, igniting the hallway in angry flurries of red. It was so loud, so aggressive. The hallway flooded with smoke as the blaster fires sizzled and seared into the walls. 

“One coming from our end!” Blue called into the commlink. “I repeat, one coming from our end.” 

They had been able to find their way through the maze of hallways, with one Heretic approaching from the blast doors, while the other took charge from the other side. Though the Heretics were outmanned, their skills and ferocity made up for it. 

Blanche heard a strangled cry before Blue’s voice echoed through the comms again, “Sweet’s been hit. He’s alright, just a shot to the shoulder. Can’t see the perp though.” 

“Stop hiding!” Fenn’s teasing voice echoed above the blaster shots, “I want to play!” 

Blanche turned to Max, “Are we close enough?” 

Max peaked over the side of the wall, a blaster shot narrowly missing his head. It singed the cheek of his helmet, leaving behind a blackened streak of soot, “I can’t tell. Might get the door, might miss it. It’ll be a good distraction though.” 

Blanche thought for a moment. They hadn’t seen or heard from Syrena. She was either inside of the room or Blanche had  misidentified the person in the holophoto. He secretly hoped for the latter. 

“Do it,” he ordered Max, “Get that kriffing door open.”

Max nodded, reaching to his side and taking out two thermal detonators. One was bound to hit the door, right? He pressed the bottoms on the top, making sure the red light was blinking before he crouched down. He swung his arm back, ready to release the detonators before Bruiser’s voice on the other side of the hallway made him hesitate. 

“Syrena?” Bruiser called. He ceased fire as he saw Syrena appear from behind the blast doors. 

“Wait, wait! Max, wait!” Blanche hurriedly said, looking down at Max. 

But, it was too late. 

The sudden change in order didn’t catch up fast enough with Max’s hand and one of the detonators was released, rolling down the hallway. He quickly shut off the other, the red light disappearing as it powered down. He let it drop to the ground in a thud. But the other one continued to make its way down the hallway right towards Syrena.

Max and Blanche both looked at each other, before looking back at the detonator. Max attempted to scramble forward to get it, but a blaster shot from Fenn forced him back. Blanche watched as Syrena’s face contorted from confusion to panic and she took in the scene before her. He realized she didn’t know they were the ones that would deal with the intruders.

She didn’t know. 

“Oh no,” Max and Blanche whispered at the same time, as Syrena’s expression changed again to horror as the detonator rolled past her foot and into the room.

****

Syrena watched as Nettie continued to shift her way through the Republic firewalls, installing virus after virus so that they wouldn’t be able to stop her, while she simultaneously scoured through the information. It was taking the Rodian longer than expected to get to everything and scramble it to her server the created just for this. The uploading process was the longest, having to go through multiple security systems in order to begin the upload. 

The two heard loud blaster shots coming from beyond the blast doors, ricocheting off of the thick metal with a booming twang. They had started only a minute ago, getting louder and louder as whoever was out there closed in. 

“How much longer?” Syrena asked, stepping behind Nettie and looking over her shoulder. She scrunched her nose, unable to read the various symbols and numbers that Nettie was typing. 

“This one file is giving me some issues,” Nettie said, her teeth gritting. “Go see if they need help.” 

“Alyze told me to stay with you,” Syrena argued. 

“I know what they said,” Nettie snapped. She clenched her fists once, taking a calming breathe, “Your energy is just too much for me to handle. Just go...I should be done any minute now.” 

Syrena bit her lip, leaning back up and stepping away from the workstation. Nettie’s shoulders seemed to relax as the shadow of nervous energy retreated with Syrena. 

Syrena clicked her wrist link, “What’s going on out there?” 

“We’re taking on heavy fire. Hurry up in there,” Alyze answered. 

“I’m opening the blast doors,” Syrena said. “Nettie’s almost done, we can hold up in here until she’s finished.” 

“That’s a negative,” Alyze growled, “Don’t open the doors. That’s an order.” 

“Oh, bite me,” Syrena quipped back. 

She walked to the blast door, clicking the controls for them to open. As they slowly began to unlatch, that unsettling feeling settled in Syrena again. It was painful and tight, slowly swirling through her chest and stomach all the way to her fingers and toes. The door continued to open and Syrena ducked to evade a stray blaster fire. 

“Syrena?” a familiar voice said, the booming sound muffled by the blaster fire. 

She looked up, recognizing the voice. Realization slowly melted into her bones as she watched Alyze and Fenn fire at the Sunburst Squadron. 

“Wait, wait!” a man hurriedly called out, “Max, wait!” 

Syrena watched as the clone sergeant rolled a circular thermal detonator towards the opening door. It was like time had turned to cooling lava, thick and heavy and moving slowly, and all she could do was watch. Her breath hitched in her throat as it rolled past her feet and towards where Nettie was seated. 

“Almost got it!” 

“Nettie, move!” 

Syrena and Nettie shouted at the same time, the Rodian not seeing the explosive stop just shy of her feet. Syrena began to rush forward, towards Nettie and the bomb. 

The explosive went off and Syrena was launched out of the room in a burst of smoke and flames. Her head slammed against the metal floor and she felt a sharp pain through her side. Syrena could only hear the yells and screams of everyone around her before she succumbed to the darkness. 

She woke up to Fenn screaming at someone to stay quiet, followed by a loud crunch. Her eyes shot open, realizing that they were back in the room her and Nettie had been in. Though, it looked nothing like the room anymore. It was like a bomb went off. Syrena slowly remembered that a bomb did go off. 

Her eyes followed a body sized streak of blood leading from the blast doors right to where she was located, propped up against a cabinet. She was sure she would have remembered being dragged back into the room, but everything was a blur since the explosion. Syrena tried to take a deep breath, tried to blink away the black spots that clouded the edges of her vision, but her lungs stung. She sputtered out a cough, phlegm and blood dripping onto her chin as she took in her surroundings. 

The tightness in her chest and burning in her lungs increased as she saw Nettie’s mangled and charred body lying peacefully on the ground. She was missing an arm and the lower half of her left leg. Syrena blinked away the tears that threatened to spill over as she was overcome with grief. She remembered letting Nettie expertly braid her hair when they were younger and the countless hours they spent consoling each other after a particularly rough day. She remembered her final goodbye as Nettie moved out of the tiny space they shared, the silent words of sisterly love and adoration for one another passed through the Force.  And now, nothing. Nothing in the Force was signaling to her that her fellow Heretic...her friend was alive. 

Syrena heard another one of Fenn’s engaged screams and she looked to the commotion. Alyze and Fenn, in their rage, had somehow managed to incapacitate every member of the Sunburst Squadron, bringing them to the center of the room and binding their hands together. Not all of them were awake and in her haziness, Syrena couldn’t tell who were the ones that were lying motionless on the ground.  She could see the rise and fall of their chests, soothing the panic that rose. They were all alive. 

But Nettie was dead.

“Syre, can you hear me? It’s Ja-”

“I said shut the fuck up!” Fenn screamed at the helmet clad trooper, her brass knuckle covered fist slamming to the side of his head. The plastoid cracked under her punch and his helmet was launched off his head. 

Jaws. 

“That’s enough,” Alyze said, cutting through Fenn’s rage. They were close to Syrena, hurriedly scouring through a medic bag. 

Fenn growled something incoherent as a response. She gripped the collar of Jaws’s chest plate, dragging him over with the rest of the members. She wrapped a piece of fabric around Jaws’s mouth, mumbling how tired she was of his pleas and sobs. 

As she blinked away the black spots, Syrena could make out the bruised and bloodied faces of those without helmets: Blanche, Max, Jaws, and Bruiser. Her heart clenched and she attempted to get up, but a sharp pain in her side stilled her movements.

Alyze bent down next to Syrena, grabbing the green woman’s face in their scarred hands, “How do you feel?” 

“I can’t,” Syrena coughed out, bile rising in her throat, “I can’t fucking breath.” 

She touched her chest and her stomach, her breath hitching once again when she felt a piece of smooth metal sticking out the side of her abdomen. She gripped the metal, yelling out in pain as it moved inside of her. 

“Syrena,” Bruiser called, trying to break free from the restraints. Fenn hit him across the face, telling him to be quiet. It only caused Syrena to move around more, wanting to wrap her hands around the Zabrak’s throat and squeeze until the bones cracked.

“Calm down” Alyze said softly, their larger hand wrapping around Syrena’s. 

“I have a fucking piece of metal sticking out of me, Alyze! I’m not going to be fucking calm,” Syrena growled, “Get this thing out of me so I can kill that bitch!”

“You always were so impatient.” Alyze rolled their eyes, “On the count of five, we’re going to take this out and then I’m going to stuff the wound with bacta and cover it. It’s not going to be pleasant.”

“You know what isn’t pleasant-” Syrena started, glaring at them. 

“Will you hurry it up already?” Fenn snapped, interrupting Syrena, “We don’t have the time to diddle daddle around.” 

Syrena took a deep breath in before looking at Alyze and nodding stiffly. 

“Okay...one, two three-” Alyze ripped the piece of metal from Syrena’s abdomen, a thick river of blood running out of the wound. 

“I thought you said on five!” Syrena snarled. She felt like her entire body was on fire as Alyze stuffed the wound with bacta. The pain was almost unbearable.

“You’ll live,” Alyze quipped. 

They put one large bacta patch on top, covering the rest of the wound. With careful hands, Alyze wrapped gauze around Syrena’s abdomen and stomach, tying the ends tightly. It was already stained on the edges with her blood, but it would keep her alive until they found a doctor. Alyze slowly helped Syrena up, allowing her to lean against the cabinet. She would need help to get back to the ship, further setting them back. But Alyze couldn’t lose another person.

All three of their wrist links beeped, causing the Heretics to look at the notification, though Syrena’s movements were lethargic and slow. Nettie had done it: the last of the information had been uploaded to their server. 

“Let’s go,” Alyze ordered, wrapping their arm around Syrena’s middle, “Leave them here.” 

Alyze began to take their first steps forward before Fenn’s growling voice stopped their movements.

“We can’t leave yet. We have rules for situations like this Alyze.”

Alyze shut their eyes tightly and cursed under their breath. They hoped that the surprise of the explosion and the news that they successfully completed their mission would be enough. But Fenn liked to follow the rules and was stubborn enough to risk them getting captured to see them through. 

Alyze gazed down at Syrena, expecting her to make some sort of sarcastic remark, but she was silent.  They had seen Syrena take worse hits and injuries. Kriff, Alyze had been the one doing the damage to the shorter woman a few times. But here, as she leaned against Alyze’s body, it looked like Syrena was about to fall to the ground dead. She wasn’t even looking at Fenn. Her pink serpent-like eyes were bleak and focused entirely on the clone troopers kneeling by Fenn’s feet. 

“This is the one that did it,” Fenn said, standing behind Max and pushing him forward. He fell hard onto his hands. 

“We don’t have time for this,” Alyze tried to argue. 

“Well, make time!” Fenn yelled, “Nettie is dead because of him. Syrena is injured. He needs to die.” 

Blanche, Bruiser, and Jaws all protested at once, Jaws’s voice muffled by the gag. 

“Please,” Blanche pleaded, his lip split and left eye swelling from Fenn’s beating, “Please, I’m the one that gave the orders. Leave him.”

“Blanche,” Max said softly. 

“No! Just-just shut up, Max.” Blanche looked to Alyze. “Take me instead.”

“We are not as lawless as you might believe, clone,” Alyze said, “We do follow a code. You may have said the orders, but your hand was not the one that released the detonator.” 

“I’ll do it,” Fenn said, taking her vibroblade out. 

“No.” Alyze looked from Max to Syrena. “Syrena has to be the one to do it.”

“What? No,” Bruiser said harshly, “No she isn’t doing anything. Syre...tell them you aren’t doing anything.” 

“You can’t be serious, Alyze,” Fenn scoffed, “She doesn’t have it in her. She’s grown soft. If anything, we should tell Myrkos when we get back and have her sent to the Pit or, better yet, decommissioned.” 

Syrena was still silent. Her gaze went from the Sunburst Squadron to Nettie’s body. She wished she had been quicker to realize what was happening, faster on her feet. She was a Heretic for crying out loud, she could have Force pushed Nettie out of the blast area. But she was too focused on the Sunburst Squadron, too focused on worrying about their safety. In that moment, she allowed them to make her forget who she was and it cost her friend her life. 

“She is the only survivor of the attack,” Alyze explained, “She knows the rules, a life for a life, and she will follow them.” 

“Syrena, please,” Blanche begged. 

“I’ll do it,” she whispered, her eyes tearing from Nettie to Max. All she could think of when she saw him was her failures. Her failure to keep Nettie alive and her failure to keep the Sunburst troopers safe and out of Heretic politics. She didn’t want any of this, but it was happening and she couldn’t stop it.

A cacophony of no’s and pleas came from the clone troopers as they all tried to break free of their constraints. Fenn backhanded Blanche, causing him to stagger to the side. He spit out to the side, a mixture of his blood and salvia splattering against the concrete floor.

As Syrena staggered towards Max, Blanche and Bruiser continued to plead with her, offering their life in exchange for his. It was a noble appeal really, but Syrena knew that it wouldn’t meet the most rigid law of the Heretics. And she knew Max wouldn’t allow it to happen; he wouldn’t let one of his brother’s suffer a gruesome fate for something he did. He took a life, so he would pay for it with his own. 

Syrena didn’t want him to die. She knew Max, knew the kind of person he was. He was kind, almost to a fault. He was nice and welcoming to her the moment they met, something not even Bruiser had been. 

But rules were rules and Syrena was ready to follow them. She would be the one to watch the light leave his eyes, to feel his last breath waft against her face, to add him to her list of lives that she wished she could bring back.

She would be his murderer. 

Syrena slowly kneeled in front of Max, ignoring the searing pain in her side. She blocked out the room, shutting out Blanche and Bruiser’s cries and Fenn’s yells for them to be quiet. She focused entirely on Max, taking in how he had sat back on his knees, his shoulders slumped forward and into himself. He hadn’t looked up since Fenn had brought him forward. His eyes were locked on Nettie’s body, and Syrena could see a few tears begin to stain his tanned, flushed cheeks. She reached out and touched one of them, rubbing the tear between her fingers.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he whispered softly to her. “I didn’t mean-I didn’t want to kill anybody.” 

“I know,” she replied, her hand moving to rest on his shoulder. “You understand that I have to do this.”

He finally looked up at her, a small warm smile appearing on his face, “Yeah…It’s alright.” 

“It’s not alright.” Syrena couldn’t help the way her voice broke, as she settled her other hand on his other shoulder. “Are you afraid?” 

“No,” he said, shaking his head, “Are you?” 

“Terrified.” 

Max nodded back to Bruiser, “Take care of him will you? Take care of all of them. They need someone to keep them on their toes.” 

“Can hardly take care of myself,” she replied with a small smile. 

“You aren’t as bad as you think you are, you know? I can see it in your eyes.” 

Blanche’s broken voice cut through the air, “Please, Syrena. Please don’t kill him. I’m begging you.” 

She could hear the sobs he tried to hold back. She wouldn’t look at Blanche or the others. She couldn’t. So instead, she let her pain and anger take over, allowing the Dark Side to wash through her system and act as a crutch. Syrena didn’t want to feel this.

Max turned his head, his sweet smile still on his face as he looked at Blanche, “It’s okay Blanchie, I got this.” 

His last syllables were short and stuttered as the hidden knives in Syrena’s wrist vambraces sprung out, sinking deep into his chest. Bruiser and Jaws choked out sobs, their cries flooding the room as they were unable to form words. And Blanche. Blanche was beyond broken. 

Max turned his head back to Syrena. She had gotten him in the weak points of his armor, piercing down into his heart. She watched, her face expressionless, as his sweet face, still smiling softly at her, became still as he slumped onto the ground. His wonderfully warm eyes faded into nothingness. 

A life for a life.

“NO!” Blanche screamed, trying in vain to get up. All he saw was red, all he felt was pure agony and hatred as Syrena slowly pulled her hands back, revealing the red covered blades. “No!” 

Fenn put her vibroblade to his neck, “You clones just don’t know when to shut up do you?” 

“Back off Fenn,” Syrena said weakly, unable to tear her eyes from Max’s body. She hurt all over and her side stung. 

“Maybe I’ll have to make you shut up,” Fenn laughed, ignoring Syrena. 

“I said back off!” Syrena shouted, Force pushing Fenn away from Blanche and the others. She was on her feet in an instant, ignoring the dizzying pain on her side and head. “We got what we came here for, now let’s go.” 

“Syrena’s right. They’ll be fully online and operational soon,” Alyze said. 

Fenn grumbled curses under her breath before putting away her vibroblade. She bent down and picked up Nettie’s body, slinging it over her shoulder with ease. They would need to give her a proper burial, a Heretic’s goodbye. 

She stopped by the Sunburst Squadron on her way to the blast doors, sneering at them. She was enjoying their pain. Enjoying how they seemed unable to process what happened. Bruiser and Jaws cried for their fallen brother as Sweets and Void began regaining consciousness. What a sight to wake up to: the body of their beloved sergeant dead in front of them and a seething Blanche. 

Fenn grabbed Max’s helmet from the ground, tossing it once in the air before smiling ruefully at Syrena, “A nice trophy, don’t you think?”

Before Syrena had the chance to lunge at her, Alyze wrapped their large arm around Syrena’s middle again to keep her from falling. She hadn’t even realized that she was losing balance. Her wound needed immediate medical attention.

Syrena didn’t look at the Sunburst Squadron as the three Heretics made their way out of the room. She didn’t watch as they scrambled to Max’s side, didn’t see Blanche’s binded hands grab his face. She tried to block out their cries and broken Mando’a, but their words and pleas for Max to wake up invaded her mind. It would be the sounds to haunt her dreams for the rest of time.

Alyze pressed the button on the controls for the blast doors, the heavy metal doors slowly shutting behind them to lock the clone troopers in the room. Syrena, with the last of her fleeting strength, waved her hand, sending a burst of Force energy to the troopers. All at once, their bindings fell to the ground, allowing them to hold each other and hold Max. 

The blast doors closed with a loud bang and all Syrena felt was pain and regret.

[snickiebear]

Hi bby! 1, 2, 3, 6, 16, 27, 29, 33, 35! 🖤

mittens!!! loml!!

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

oh goodness... um, i’d say a 4?? yeah, that sounds about right, only because i often make so many tense mistakes and even when i edit there’s always something to fix. and just,,, im still learning a lot (aren’t we all). plus, sometimes the stuff i put out needs so much more work (see: my recent shisaku fic... i want to tear it up and put it back together.. ugh.. also wt&r, just everything)

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

OH GOODIE! i just... well, i wrote a lot when i was twelve-fourteenish, then kind of on and off through the years. never really had anything to ground me and get me to take writing seriously. and then i found naruto and sakura who has so much unused potential and it just made me so angry to see her treated that way. 

point being, the naruto fandom (more specifically the sakura fandom) rooted me down and allowed me be able to grow as a writer even though i’ve only been posting since january my writing style has changed so much, and i can physically feel myself becoming a better writer. 

plus, i just love it. the thrill of being able to use these characters and pairings and do what i want with them?? i drink it up, i love it!!! its so freeing and such a great way to really dig deep within writing itself. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

i think its just the way i word things, you and a lot of others call it poetry but meh i just call it fancy words or word vomit from my brain AHAHHAHA

also, my thing is God Killers, God Eaters, and Angry Wrathful Women at this point, so maybe thats another thing?

but honestly,,, i have no clue... you’d have to ask my lovely readers, im so thankful for them 😭

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

plot probably. this changes often though. usually when i have an idea, the rest comes to mind and i jot it down and come back and change things and stuff, so thats usually pretty easy tbh... at least for now LMAO

and inner dialogue, inner struggles, showing the entire internal thing. its fun writing that angsty part of a story, the small insights into a character’s mind, how miserable and alone they feel. or, perhaps how happy they are, overjoyed and at peace. 

OH AND WORLD BUILDING. i pride myself so much on my world building. i honestly think thats one of the better things im good at! just weaving small details into the text, and subtly building a world within your mind, oh i love it so much!!!!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

mmmm nothing really comes to mind? men simping for women who could kick their ass? tho idk if thats really a guilty pleasure....am very fond of same age aus, sometimes mafia aus too... ummm,, yeah

(probably big dick tenzo tbh... and the fact that kakashi’s face is a legal weapon AHAHAHA,,, and broken, vunreble men. also, shattered, all consuming women.)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

oh god... i cannot chose! you, ele, al, and hika leave the kindest comments, and literally any comment on the things i write just make me so so so so so HAPPY. i just them more than kudos tbh. 

but! one comment on the intimacy of being understood i always come back to. it was left by GuardianMars and they wrote that the fic was like a “love letter to the pairing.” and that well. i think about that comment all the time. 

there have been so many others comments that have utterly touched my heart and that i will go to read on terrible, horrible days and i value ALL comments. especially those who say “i’m rereading this again” or “i’ll read anything you put out” that just. there is something so intimate about that, that utter faith and loyalty that i do not know what to do with. 

its so touching and makes me truly believe in the good of the world. 

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

yes! i am attempting to get better at writing smut because ol&w is going to have some fucking in it so i experimented in that shisaku fic and just..... yeah idk man. idk... its something i do want to get better at cause, meh why not? and i want to write some good porn for my readers damnit! HAHAHA 

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

hmmm,,, probably that i stress so much and yet so little at the same time? allow me to elaborate! i stress so much about whether my writing is actually good or if people are just being nice LMAO and also posting, i get cold sweats and a thumping heart and yiKES

but also, i enjoy writing so its like “fuck you (jk ily guys) imma write what i wanna!”...do you see my issue? HAHAHA

also, im a planner. most of the time, and a lot of the details in my more serious fics (ol&w) are blink and miss details but they’re important and i LOVE foreshadowing!!!! like yes, i will vaguely mention something and itll simply come back with a vengeance! 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

aaaaaa okokok thank you for this ask LMAO i just love talking about writing and rambling (as i often do,, im a long winded person, im very sorry)! 

but anyways! my summer semester just started up and i’m taking three purely online classes and the college im attending (im a dual enrollment student; meaning a high school and college kid,, taking advantage of the system!) fucked up my schedule so! im taking two TWELVE WEEK CLASSES that will end in AUGUST???? and then my fall sem starts five days later so... no summer break for nadia! yay...

writing will be very slow and updates will be too, which i am so sad and frustrated about because i’ve finally hit a paved road and now we’re driving into the forest! all bumps and bruises damnit! BUT worry not! i (as i said above, am i severe planner. every day has a plan, i am also an avid lover of lists also. i have lists for EVERYTHING) am working out a schedule so that i can get all my school shit done as soon as i can (while not failing) and write while hopefully not burning myself out.  

ol&w is such an intricate fic and im truly trying to give it the justice it deserves,,, im just hoping that my dear readers can bear with me HAHAHAHA there is honestly so much going on in that fic; shikamaru’s development, the underlying plot, the hate to love build up, the world building, and then laying down the foundations for the next fic (because yes, this is supposed to be a trilogy.. question is; will i be able to write it?) (answer: maybe. hopefully. i desperately want to but it might take some time.)

BUT ASLO i have so many oneshots i want to write! kisame week! kakashi week! kibasaku long fic! and not to mention my og work that i plan on rewriting and putting up on ao3 because a few people showed some interest. there is just so much to do and write and i am itching to do it all! but. well, but school, and the exhaustion of insomnia, and the weight of stress, sigh. 

shit sucks, it is what it is. but writing is like my safe haven and i just love pouring all myself into my fics and then baring my soul to you all and you take a peek and decide to keep looking. that is my favorite part of this little pocket of tumblr. 

this was not really... fic related? more like a dump of issues! so sorry about that AHAHAHAH 

anyways! thank you so much mittens! :)))))))))

pick my brain!

[thewebcomicsreview]

Oh shit, Homestuck 2 is back! Looks like the art team problems are getting worse, but maybe the writing’s good? Quick, recap of the story so far, since there was a hiatus

Previously, on Homestuck 2:  DIRK: I’m evil now and we’re on a new planet where we shall create our own lifeforms and rule them as gods ROSE: I’m making memes and vaginas DIRK: NOOOOO ROSE: Jade got me preganté and we named our kid Yiffy and I kept it a secret from everyone this whole time, including my wife but inexplicably not the dictator I’ve trying to overthrow, who kidnapped her JOHN: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: I’m in ur bod drinking ur juice JADE: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: Oh, like you’re not used to having weird people inside you, skank JADE: Wow, rude, I’m kicking you out of my brain for that  CALLIOPE: NOOOOO JOHN: Man, I love how my son tells me everything and keeps no secrets  KARKAT: John! Vriska’s alive and she murdered the clown pope and your son is hiding her because he and his friends are wanted for treason  JOHN: ...... KARKAT: You’re supposed to say “NOOOOO” John: Why would I? That fucking rules!  We now return to Homestuck 2

Yay, we’re finally seeing Davebot, Aradia, and Calliope. Fun fact: In a comic with like ten billion retcons and timeline splits, this Aradia is still the definitive “real” Aradia in a way no other character can claim to be (except Sollux), which is a fun endgame for a character who was introduced has having hundreds of thousands of duplicates.  I can not wait to see how the HS2 writers ruin her. (Also, where did they get a rocket ship?)

Also it it me, or is there something a little off about this art?

DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom

“David”? 

This is the first indication in the entire series that any of these kids�� names are short for anything, something Hussie explicitly said wasn’t the case but which was never actually addressed in the comic proper so I guess it’s not a plot hole. Still, it feels a little....wrong? 

ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...

Wait, what?! Aradia is Ultimate, too? When did that happen?! Why does she not need a robot body? 

DAVEBOT: time DAVEBOT: say time ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face

There’s a fine line between “callback” and straight up recycling a joke. 

ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind DAVEBOT: are you ARADIA: am i hung up about leaving your wife and friends behind ARADIA: i do not think that i am no DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck

I do like the implication here that Aradia flat forgot about Sollux. Poor dude can’t catch a break. .

Ooh, an [S]. An extremely basic one, but still. Also, from this scene in the epilogues:

The distant sounds of war travel above the canopy of a forest. The artillery fire fades to a series of muted knocks and thuds as the sound waves cross beyond a thinning patch of the forest and arrive in a clearing of grass and shrubbery. Above, the sky is dramatic, colorful, menacing. The way it looks when a storm is coming. The clouds are wild, whipped into a sort of spatial frenzy, as if they know what’s imminent is no earthly phenomena. Aradia stands in the field, her mouth gaping wide. But not at the sky.

Probably the starkest example of how the epilogues presented Earth C has falling about and doomed and stormy and scary like the system crash in Reboot and Homestuck 2 has it all sunny and bright. I kind of wish HS2 kept the semi-apocalyptic feel of the epilogues, even if it made Aradia’s spurious decision to leave Sollux behind way more dickish. 

Oh hey, God’s back, and back in the body of the OG pre-Retcon Jade Harley. There’s something very Shoujo about this posing.

DAVEBOT: thanks JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them

I think Calliope, and possibly Aradia, is shipping Dave/Aradia right now, which is a pairing that has some comedic appeal were it not for Dave’s gayness.

ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery

We just established that this is months after they left Candyland. Has Jade’s body been covered in the blood and guts of Lord English this entire time? Take a goddamn shower, Jesus. 

Oh, there we go. Much better. Also, the one thing I heard about this upd8 was all the discussion of jorts, and then Dave references jorts, but no one is actually wearing them, unless Aradia’s got a pair on under her cultist robes? (Also, is Calliope’s Jade body healed from the shard of reality that killed it originally, or is there just a huge hole under her shirt)?

JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!

The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption. Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.

ARADIA: :(

Given how much time was spent on how Terezi can sense Dirk’s narration, I like how Calliope’s narration is literally just her talking out loud and everyone can clearly hear it and just assumes it’s like a troll quirk.

ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant DAVEBOT: no thats boring DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.

One of the things I don’t fully get about Calliope is why there’s stuff like this she doesn’t know. Another thing I don’t get: How come John and Jake are visibly middle-aged? They’re gods, too. 

ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude

I believe this is a reference to Pesterquest?

DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen

What the fuck is David even talking about? What? 

DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)

I like the “Best Narrator” mug, and with this sudden headache to interrupt the laughter comes the end of the chapter and presumably a lead in to the next one when we’ll learn what’s blowing Calliope’s mind 

[mononyann]

warning: don't even read this if you aren't ready to respect my opinion and only want to attack me for it, thanks!

BNHA SPOILERS AHEAD

hi um 😃 i saw someone saying that if you like or side with the pro heroes you're supporting police brutality. no doubt ill probably be flayed for this because im literally scared to say anything in the my hero academia fandom bc people can't respect opinions ❤ but just because i love some of the pro heroes and think they're not all horrible people does NOT mean that i fucking support police brutality. it. is. a. fictional. world. the pro heroes are all individual human beings with opinions of their own, they dont all automatically agree with the hero comission. im tired of people literally going out of their way to assume hurtful shit about me because of my view on some FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, yeah, im mad lmao, its stupid as fuck thats why. ive been called toxic for not thinking the villains are "in the right". have some of you forgotten and the the villains are LITERAl serial killers? and as much as trauma fucks a person up you cannot justify actions because of it. i don't think that either side is completely justified and im tired of it being a constant fight between heroes and villain stans, seriously, just respect other people's opinions my god. and those who constantly yell at the pros abt how they're letting the children fight: yall make it seem a lot worse than it actually is, yeah, its really unfortunate that they're having to go through this, but they literally have their provisional licenses, they all talk about how they're excited to be able to fight now, AND the pros beside them in battle have been trying their best to protect them no matter what. midnight is either dead or ALMOST dead from standing her ground trying to assure that the villains couldn't make it to the students who were HIDING deeper in the forest. some of the pros literally even fucking expressed their distaste for having students fighting with them. i feel like me saying anything about how i like the pro heroes assures people coming for my throat immediately. please just be respectful for the love of god, i genuinely feel guilty for liking some of my biggest comfort characters sometimes because people go out of their way to call me toxic and a supporter of police brutality :/ i don't want to feel guilty for having comfort characters, please haha. lol im scared for the wave of people that r gonna come in to shit on me so 🙈

edit: i also hope you guys realize that other countries exist outside of america, the system is not like ours everywhere else.

[missjanjie]

As I Lay Waiting | Goodedoll

this is a commission for @lepakonpaska and im super excited and think this came out quite well :D

Ship: Goodedoll (Gigi Goode x Nicky Doll) Word Count: 1.8k Rating: T

comission info

Nicky prided herself on being a good, supportive friend to Gigi. They had been friends since they met in their junior year of college, and have been inseparable ever since. She was there for her with every one of her passion projects, through every high and low, indulging her impulses or talking sense into her. And it was reciprocal, Gigi was a good friend, too. She was an amazing friend.

That, as far as Nicky was concerned, made the crush she had that much harder to bear. It was both a hindrance and a hope - a hindrance because she would always feel like she had something to hide, and that glimmer of hope that followed her around, saying maybe, just maybe there was a chance for them.

But that hopeful voice became awfully silent when Crystal came into the picture.

Crystal was Gigi’s type - she was funny, weird, unique, and as soon as Gigi set eyes on her, Nicky’s heart sank to the pit of her stomach. It was as if it were one of those scenes in a movie where the protagonist sees everything going wrong in slow-motion but they can’t do anything to stop it.

The worst part was that Crystal and Gigi were cute together. They had chemistry, and as much as Nicky wanted to cut her losses and move on with her life, it only made the longing she felt towards her best friend even stronger. Now she had an excuse as to why she couldn’t tell her the truth, though it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“I feel like my window of opportunity has closed. I had all this time to make a move and now someone else has swooped in,” Nicky lamented, making a swooping motion with her arm to illustrate her point.

“You make it sound like Crystal stole her from you,” Jaida told her. “The bitch ain’t psychic, she barely knows what’s going on in the present.”

Nicky groaned and lay back on her bed. “I know that, but it makes me feel better to blame her.”

“Of course it does. But that can’t be your solution.”

She rolled her eyes. “Then what is my solution? And please don’t say ‘talk to her’.”

Jaida shrugged. “I got nothing then, sis. Y’all have been friends for three years, you gotta find something.”

“Ah, putain,” Nicky muttered and rolled onto her stomach. It had really been three years of pining over Gigi - no wonder it was hurting so badly.

- Nicky had just finished her shower and changed into her pajamas when she heard a knock at the door. She furrowed her brows - she hadn’t ordered food and mail delivery usually stopped around eight at night. Regardless, she shrugged it off and opened the door. “Gigi?” she blinked in surprise, stepping to the side to let her in.

“Is now a bad time? Sorry, I know I usually call or text first,” Gigi said with a sheepish laugh as she went right into Nicky’s room and sat on the bed.

She frowned, following behind Gigi into her room. “It’s never a bad time for you, angel,” she assured and sat beside her. “Tell me what’s going on,” she prompted, placing her hand on the other girl’s knee.

“I…” Gigi swallowed thickly, “I think I need to break up with Crystal,” her face fell as she admitted that - it was the first time she had said it out loud, and her whole body seemed to deflate as she let herself drop backwards and lay on the bed.

Nicky suddenly became hyper-aware of every muscle in her face, needing to consciously contort each one to erase any sign of relief, god forbid the slightest glimmer of happiness. She pressed her lips together and swallowed before moving to sit cross-legged next to her on the bed. “You do? Why?”

Gigi kicked off her shoes before pushing herself up and sitting on the bed as well, her back against the mountain of pillows Nicky always had neatly arranged on her bed. She took the headband out of her hair, relieving a bit of the physical tension she felt, but not alleviating anything emotionally. “She doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship. And I mean, I don’t fault her for it, I know lots of people are non-monogamous. But me… I just don’t know if I can get on board with it,” she explained, her fingers tracing patterns into the duvet.

The conflict of interest for Nicky made it incredibly difficult for her to figure out how to handle this. She wanted to be the supportive friend she always had been for Gigi, but she would be lying if there wasn’t a big part of her that wanted to take the opportunity to get rid of a romantic rival. “You deserve to get what you want out of a relationship, so does Crystal. If you guys cannot see eye to eye on monogamy… I don’t know, maybe you need to think about if it’s worth sticking it out.”

“What if she changes her mind?”

Nicky shook her head and looked down. “Oh Gigi, you can’t change people just because you want a certain life with them,” it pained her to say even more than it pained Gigi to hear. This wasn’t the victory she had been hoping for - it didn’t feel like a victory at all. If anything, it felt like a twisted punishment. Gigi was in reach once again, only now it felt like she had to push her away to prioritize being a friend.

Gigi sighed sadly and rested her head on Nicky’s shoulder. “I guess you’re right. Thanks, Nicky, I knew you’d have the right thing to say.”

“Of course,” she said and gently wrapped her arms around her. “That’s what I’m here for.”

-

It had been a week since Gigi and Crystal broke up, and Nicky had finally gotten past the point of feeling guilty about it. She had spent hours upon hours talking to Jaida - or rather, Jaida put up with her for hours by reassuring her that it wasn’t her fault, that she didn’t intentionally sabotage the relationship.

More than that, Jaida had kept the offer open that Nicky could text her whenever she needed to, and Nicky had taken her up on that a handful of times, especially after hanging out with Gigi.

Being with Gigi had started to feel normal again. Nicky did her best to help Gigi both mourn her ended relationship and move on from it, all while keeping her own feelings bottled away. This wasn’t about her, it wasn’t about her crush. She just had to keep reminding herself to not make Gigi’s relationship about her own feelings.

So, barely ten minutes after Gigi had left her apartment, Nicky got her phone out to text Jaida.

“Gigi just left, and I swear this gets harder every day. I can’t fucking look at her without thinking about how badly I want her. Every time she speaks I’m just reminded of how crazy I am about her. C’est un fucking nightmare, Jaida! But it’s also not, you know? Because it still feels so good to be with her and I never want her to leave. Is this love?”

Nicky set her phone down and went to the kitchen to grab herself a bottle of rosé cider. Upon her return, she opened her phone to her messages and her eyes widened in horror.

Jaida and Gigi were the last two people she had texted, which would explain why when she had haphazardly gone to text Jaida about her romantic woes, the block of text was sent to Gigi herself.

Nicky tossed her phone across her bed in horror, knees curling up under her chin. Maybe if she didn’t touch her phone, nothing would happen. Maybe if she tried hard enough to will away the mistake, she would be able to look at her phone and see that no message had been sent at all.

Then she heard that familiar tri-tone. “Merde.” Nicky watched her phone carefully as she approached it, as if it would explode under her touch. With a deep breath, she picked it up and, of course, the text was from Gigi.

“I don’t think this was meant for me, huh?”

Nicky wanted to scream, and another text came in before she could reply.

“I’m coming back over.”

This time, she did scream, albeit into her pillow. At least she got it out of her system so by the time Gigi came back, she was no longer in the middle of a nervous breakdown. She froze when she heard a knock at the door, and had to force herself up out of bed, fighting with herself all the way over until she opened the door. “Gigi, I’m so sorry, I-”

Gigi cupped Nicky’s face with both hands and kissed her deeply, stepping inside and kicking the door closed behind her in one swift motion.

Nicky, on the other hand, nearly fell backwards with shock, grabbing onto Gigi for support when she nearly lost her balance. As confused as she was, she kissed back - she wasn’t about to pass that up regardless.

“How long have you felt this way? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Gigi breathed out when she let Nicky go.

Nicky blinked, her mouth forgetting how to form words for a moment. “I… guess a few months after we became friends.”

Gigi laughed, grabbed Nicky by the shoulders, then leaned her head against her chest, still a bit out of breath all the while.

“Are you… okay?” Nicky wasn’t sure if she was supposed to hug her, have her lay down, or ask if she could smell toast.

“I just can’t fucking believe it,” Gigi explained when she finally pulled herself together. “Do you know how long I’ve had a crush on you?”

Nicky stared blankly. “Obviously not. What about Crystal?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I really liked her too,” she clarified. “The relationship I had with her was sincere, but if I knew that was how you felt… I don’t know, I probably wouldn’t have pursued her in the first place.”

“I need to sit down,” Nicky laughed dryly, moving to the couch and gesturing for Gigi to follow. “So, what does this mean for us?”

Gigi shrugged. “I mean… we’ve waited long enough, we could give a relationship a try. If you want to, that is.”

Nicky smiled, leaning over and pressing a chaste kiss against her lips. “Of course I want to,” she laughed. That was all she’d wanted from the beginning. Sure, she was kicking herself for waiting this long, all things considered. But she had Gigi now, and that was worth all the wait.

[talkfastcal]

you can tell a lot about someone by the type of music they listen to 🎵🎶

rules: hit shuffle on your media player and write down the first 20 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

Thank you for tagging me! @i-like-5sos

1. Long Way Home - 5SOS: Oh! I haven’t heard this song in awhile. This is one of my favorites from self titled (although I will always prefer the acoustic version) I still remember when they changed the lyrics to “white snake on the radio” during my ROWYSO show. My favorite lyric is “so we’re taking the long way home cause I don’t wanna be wasting my time alone”

2. Bloody Mary - Lady Gaga: I remember the first time I heard this being 11 years old and shocked LMAO if I’m being real honest I love the beat (AND THE BASS) of this song. ALSO the chorus “I WONT CRY FOR YOU” is so GOOD

3. Not Warriors - Waterparks: y’all are in for a TREAT THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE WATERPARKS SONGS. I cannot just listen to this song just once. It’s always at least 3 times and it’s ALWAYS blasting (and yes I did replay it 3 times and blast it through my headphones while typing this) When the beat drops and “THERES NOTHING IN MY SYSTEM SO IM FEELING WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU” so POWERFUL!!!! My favorite lyric is “but hey for what it’s worth I think you saved my life”

4. Best Song Ever - One Direction: I still refuse to believe this song is about sex LMAO this is such a fun song to dance to though I love it. My favorite part is Niall’s solo “I said can I take you home with me, she said never in your wildest dreams”

5. Strong - One Direction: OH! FUCK! MY FAVORITE ONE DIRECTION SONG DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH THE CHORUS “IM SORRY IF I SAY I NEED YOU” I CANT I CANT. If you have not heard them acapella sing this do me a favor and go listen ITS SO GOOD ALSO! Zayn’s high note. My favorite lyric is ofc Louis’ solo “think of how much love that’s been wasted people always trying to escape it move on to stop their heart breaking but there’s nothing I’m running from, you make me strong”

6. Kids In The Dark - All Time Low: YES I LOVE THIS SONG I LOVE THIS ALBUM I LOVE THE MEANING OF THE SONG I’m not joking when I say that I found this song and this band during the hardest time in my life and this song just really hit me hard. My favorite lyric is “beautiful scars on critical veins” AND the firework pop towards the end!!!!

7. Olivia - One Direction: I will admit this song has grown on me big time post hiatus (also the fact that now I’m not hiding my sexuality from myself I can freely listen to this song without feeling ashamed) I! Love! This! Song! It’s such a cute love song!! My favorite lyric is “the summertime butterflies all belong to your creation”

8. I Love You 5 - Never Shout Never: another band I was obsessed with back in 2015 I haven’t listened to this song in awhile!! I remember loving this song though and using it everywhere. I also like in the beginning he says “I love you one a two a three shoobe-doo I love you four that’s more than I can afford”

9. Only Angel - Harry Styles: idk not much to say about this Harry song it’s not in my top 5 but it’s a good song! I like listening to it but it’s just not my favorite. My favorite lyric is “open up your eyes shut your mouth and see that I’m still the only one who’s been in love with me”

10. Viva La Vida - Coldplay: no one: - me: AHHHHHHHHH literally this song will never be the same ever since 1d performed it on xfactor. Idk what to say about this song other than the fact that I like it??? I also like 1D’s cover of it??? Yea cool. My favorite lyric is “Never an honest word but that was when I ruled the world”

11. Glitter & Crimson - All Time Low: this song has definitely grown on me since the release of wake up sunshine. ALSO THE BRIDGE! My favorite lyric is “lets start lets start a riot hard to sit still when your head’s on fire”

12. (Love Will) Turn Back The Hands Of Time - Grease 2: don’t clown me y’all but this movie and soundtrack are a guilty pleasure. I love the original grease BUT grease 2!! It’s such a stupid movie but the soundtrack is fantastic. Anyways this song is another guilty pleasure LMAO I love the whole song so I’m not picking a “favorite lyric”

13. Savior - Rise Against: OH!!!! OH!!! THIS SONG RIGHT HERE!!!! fun fact: the first time I actually heard this song was when I watched a video of someone on YouTube burning her littlest pet shops because a trade went wrong and she got scammed so she took her anger out on that. I literally forgot about this song until one day I heard it in my junior year literature class and had major deja vu. Okay anyways I love this song LMAO my favorite part is the chorus “that’s when she said I don’t hate you boy I just want to save you while there’s still something left to save. That’s when I told her I love you girl but I’m not the answer for the questions that you still have WOAH OH OH WOAH OH OHHH”

14. National Anthem - DE’WAYNE: okay THIS SONG it’s so good and it describes what it’s like growing up in America as a POC. I don’t wanna say too much about it since I’m not a POC so I know I will never fully understand the song because of my privilege but I appreciate the fuck out of this. I love the entire song I don’t have a favorite lyric

15. Your Love - Nicki Minaj: I miss this Nicki Minaj. UM not much to say about this song either??? It’s a good song and I like it?! My favorite part is the chorus OH and the outro I love it

16. Just Dance - Lady Gaga: another pop classic from my childhood alright I MEAN ITS JUST DANCE?! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS SONG??? ALSO THIS LADY GAGA?! Don’t get me wrong I love the lady Gaga we have now BUT THIS ONE WILL ALWAYS BE ASSOCIATED WITH MY CHILDHOOD AND PRETEEN YEARS. I remember feeling like a badass singing this song when I was 10 years old LMAO I don’t have a favorite lyric I love the whole thing it’s a bop

17. Dear Patience - Niall Horan: Oh!! One of my favorites from Heartbreak Weather. His voice in this song is just so beautiful ugh yes. I absolutely love the chorus of this. My favorite lyric is “feels like you don’t even know me just me and the stars can get lonely”

18. San Francisco - 5sos: OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG ITS IN MY TOP 3 FROM SOUNDS GOOD FEELS GOOD. I hardly see anyone appreciate this song so I’m here to tell y’all: ITS A GOOD SONG?!?! have y’all listened to the live version AS WELL!!!! masterpiece. This song makes me happy especially the guitar at the beginning. My favorite lyric is “reminds me of when we were free I swear that it’s still haunting me” BUT! I do love that pre-chorus

19. They All Float - Waterparks: NICE a song from their first EP okay but I love this song it’s much heavier compared to what they sing now and that’s what I like about it. My favorite part is THE BRIDGE!!! “this is the part where you cut your losses this is the part where you get a job this is the part where you settle for less just like you never wanted to”

20. We made it finally Adrenaline - Simple Creatures: OH MY GOD THIS SONG LISTEN this is the first song I listened to from this band (which btw if y’all didn’t know is made up of Alex Gaskarth from ATL and Mark Hoppus from Blink-182) I mean while it’s more pop (which is what their intention is) ITS STILL A GOOD BAND!!! ESPECIALLY THIS SONG!! ITS SO GOOD DAMN I love the music video omfg. I’m just a sucker for dance choreography since I grew up surrounded by dance (I did competitive dance for a couple of years and my sister was a competitive dancer until she graduated) okay enough about me this song is so damn good I can’t stop saying that alright! My favorite lyric “I think we’re failin to connect you don’t what you do to me do to me do to me” and I LOVE THE CHORUS

This was fun!!! And it took me forever LMAO I’m not tagging 10 people but I’ll tag some

@louhazzabeingloudandloud @28-oops-hi @devilatmydoor @glitter-cal and anyone else who wants to do this!! 💜

[gocatboygo]

Hello! I am a singlet and I really want to be a good ally to systems and people with DID/OSDD. I think very highly of you, so I figured you were the best person to ask on this topic. Please don’t feel obligated to reply, but if you have any suggestions as to how I can be a good ally and supportive of my system friends, I would very much appreciate it! Thank you

heyyy!! this is katy. this ask is like so sweet, jackson is gonna be gone for a while tho so i think i’ll answer it with a couple things sterling and i can think of? just until he’s back and can add his own takes lol

okay the biggest thing is just. understand DID/OSDD, be willing to learn and unlearn. u probably have a lot of ideas about it that are very wrong and that’s okay, systems aren’t mad at you for being misinformed, you just need to be willing to like. fix that. most systems (us in particular) are happy 2 answer questions, especially to close friends, but it can get EXHAUSTING to explain your condition constantly so we rlly prefer if you check out resources on your own for at least basic questions. i recommend umm... actually i don’t know very many resources LOL we’ll have to wait for jackson to get back to u on that. but ik there are good youtubers and jackson is also working on a dictionary of terms that he’s like. straight up collecting statistics for via surveys so it is going to slap pretty hard

honestly one thing we rlly appreciate is just when friends r like. willing and interested to meet our alters? obviously we dont want you to be like, creepy about it (making us a psych project or whatever) but if youre like. happy to meet a new alter it makes us feel so much better about being there lol and it makes whoever ur original friend in the system was feel way less guilty about switching. our sexy huge meated friend jinx (idk your url babe im sorry) is super sweet and always like. welcoming to new alters and happy to meet them and it makes us stan him sooo hard

please please please dont get mad at systems for not remembering shit. like. we have amnesia lol. some ppl will be like “why don’t you remember this thing i said to your alter” & we have to be like. that’s not me ((((((: (mostly ppl with DID and i think OSDD-1a get amnesia but i think ppl with OSDD-1b might have fuzzy memory too? i have no idea lol)

jackson has a post about system pride day that might be relevant <3

OH OMG and sterling said to add don’t ask invasive questions!! this doesnt rlly apply to me so much bc like. my backstory is notttt sad lollll but like. ppl will literally be like “why are you a demon? do you think you have a soul” to him LMAO oh my god also he said to add sometimes people are creepy about him to jackson apparently? OK DON’T. be invasive and also don’t be like “can i fuck your demon alter” i think these are very basic rules

that’s all i can think of!! watch jackson come back and be like. well first of all that whole answer was incomprehensible,

[piximiplays]

Take Us Back “Review” ig

Wow that episode was just... wow 😭 That was actually a really good ending (at least the one I got, I'm not sure about any other endings there might be) to an amazing series 😭😭

Also, if you haven’t blocked the twdg spoilers tag, I’ll put a break here but if you haven’t played the episode and/or don’t want major spoilers for Take Us Back, don’t read the rest of this long ass post. You have been warned. (That sounded super serious sksksksks 😂)

Ok so I’m just gonna start off with the beginning when AJ voiced the “last time on The Walking Dead” like damn that entire sequence put my anxiety (which was already super high because I was literally freaking out about possibly getting Clem or anyone else killed) through the roof. He was listing all the things I’ve taught him in the past and that shit honestly gave me ten different types of anxiety.

So, I got James killed in the last episode so I have no idea what he says in this episode or anything like that, but I’ve heard that it’s not great sksksksk

Anyway, the fact that we literally saw James as a walker broke me so much I was literally crying at that point.

And then when AJ said he wanted to be a firefighter damn that shit was lowkey kinda cute. At that point I was a little more relaxed because we were somewhat safe in the cave.

But then shit went so south when we left the cave and after we met up with Violet.

Of course I had to mention the tree house and omg I almost cried again just thinking back to season 1 when we met Clementine in her tree house 😭 (Even though I’m pretty sure she said she hated her tree house in season 2 abgsfhj)

And of course I had to rename Ericsons to Castle Violet who do you think I am

But the bridge OOF

Fuckign Minerva akajsfkjh I’m wondering if there was a way where she could have lived I highly doubt it but damn I wasn’t expecting her just die like that wow I was lowkey kinda hoping maybe she would get some kind of redemption but wow that whole dragged out death was so gruesome but not necessarily in a bad way, at least not for this series sksksksks

And damn Minnie just had to fucking slice Clem’s leg that shit looked like it hurt askdjashdg

AND THEN TENN FUCKIGN DIED WHAT THE FUCK

I think if I hadn’t told AJ to make the tough calls then he wouldn’t have shot Tenn, and Violet probably would have died instead (or Louis if you saved him at the end of episode 2) Fucking hell

And when we split up and Vi went back to the school goddamnit that scared me because I had a feeling something was gonna go wrong  AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

At this point I was fucking crying my goddamn eyes out because CLEM GOT FUCKING BIT WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT JFHJKSGHJGF

I was such a mess at this point there was honestly no saving me

The entire time I was shouting at Clem to just chop her leg off at that point because there was no way that Clem was gonna die in such a stupid way like damn. wait fuck that's how Lee died AKSFJKG IM SORRY LEE I DIDNT MEAN TO DISRESPECT YOU LIKE THAT FUCK

Anyway

And then when I got that fucking achievement after that at that point like, first of all fuck you game, second of all fuck you. But seriously, I was genuinely wondering if there was any way to avoid her getting bitten but idk at this point it’s almost 1am I have school in the morning and I am way too tired to replay the entire episode even though it was a lot shorter than I thought it was gonna be tbh probably because I didn’t look around for collectibles as much and because I probably didn’t pause the episode as much as I usually do while making hard decisions sksksks

And then when we made it to the barn and we fucking started playing as AJ I was freaking out at this point

But when Clem was literally dying I was sobbing the entire time and just fuck, the parallels between that and season 1 when Lee died goddamn that shit hurted

I literally had to pause the game at this point because AJ was crying right in my ears and I couldn’t focus because I was also crying and only one of us can cry at a time buddy

Originally in episode 3 I told AJ to leave Clem if she ever got bit but fuck I didn’t think it was actually gonna happen so I changed my mind and told AJ to kill her because god damn I’m not gonna let her turn into a walker fuck that (even though that’s exactly what I did with Lee fuck) (Also I just looked and I’ve literally used the word fuck in this post like 23 times so far sksksksksks 😂)

And when it cut to black after that, literally all that was left was the sound of my sobs goddamn. And the achievement “final lesson” that shit just made me cry even harder

And the fucking ranch flashback right after goddamnit I was still mourning Clem you can’t just have me play as her again like that, shit. Also damn poor AJ 😭😭

And then when AJ was fishing and Rosie showed up damn she actually put a smile on my face somehow. I didn’t think that was possible at that point

Clem’s hatttt 😭 I was so scared I wouldn’t get it because I kept missing the quick time events but then Rosie got it thank god

And omg when we got back to the school and Take Us Back started playing I was even more of a mess I thought the episode was gonna end there but boy am I glad it didn’t

Also omg Ruby and Aasim holding hands damn that shit was adorable

When the music faded out and shit, I was like ok I think there’s still a little more to the episode but then FUCKING CLEM STARTED TALKING AND AT FIRST I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IS AJ IMAGINING THIS BUT NO CLEM WAS ALIVE AND OH MY GOD I LITERALLY STARTED CRYING AGAIN BUT THIS TIME THEY WERE HAPPY TEARS AJHAFSGF

I was so fucking glad that Clementine was alive I didn’t even care about the fact that she was missing a leg I was just so glad to see her oh my god I really thought she was dead

And they all lived happily ever after

Jk except for Tenn GODDAMNIT HE DESERVED BETTER

But seriously, I was so glad Clem wasn’t dead and that mostly everyone was alive I seriously thought I was gonna get a shitty ending (But I’m also a little confused on how Clem survived the bite. I know she obviously cut her leg off and she did say something to AJ about she was glad he didn’t listen to her in the barn which I’m assuming was referring to when she told him to kill her, but if that was where Clem had her leg chopped off, I feel like the bite would already have spread to the rest of her system at that point? Idk I’m not gonna question it I’m just extremely glad she’s not dead)

And the very ending where we walked through the hallway and it showed all the names from the Still Not Bitten Team damn I loved that so much

And omg when we went into the room and were able to look at Disco Broccoli and his friends, I noticed that the option to look at Disco Broccoli kept popping up so I kept selecting it and ALKHASDFJKG I FELT LIKE I ENTERED ANOTHER DIMENSION WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I don’t wanna spoil it but y’all need to see that if you haven’t already skskskkssk whether you replay the episode and see yourself or if someone makes a video of it on YouTube (which I feel like someone will eventually)

But omg the very ending with the “thank you for playing” that shit hurted 😭 I literally started crying again but not nearly as much as I thought I would tbh I thought I would be bawling my eyes out for hours but at this point I just feel kinda numb 😂 Like it hasn’t really set in that The Walking Dead just ended. Maybe because I can immortalize it forever in my Steam library and replay it however many times I want (and by reading fanfiction sksksksksks) 

(Also this post is gonna be put into my queue until more people play the episode so it probably won’t be posted until later tomorrow. So just know that this post was made at 1 in the morning a few hours after the release of episode 4 and I have to go to school tomorrow morning. Wish me luck)

Long story short, that entire episode was amazing (even if it did fuck with my head a little and was a little emotionally scarring sksksks) and I am so glad I was basically able to grow up with Clementine and this entire series

Also here are some screenshots because why not 😂

sksksksk AJ’s face 😭😂

This shit hurted 😭 (But it’s also a really pretty picture and I highkey want this framed on my wall or at least as my wallpaper on my phone or some shit)

What the fuck when did I ever say it was okay to try and kill someone if they try to steal from you alskhjags (Update: I just realized that this was referring to when I attacked Abel aksjdhkhg AJ THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED YOU TO TAKE AWAY FROM THAT)

This was actually really cool and even though it made me feel a little guilty because some of these choices I made weren’t the best, oh well

And here are my choices because why not 😂

And lastly, I want to thank Skybound from the bottom of my heart for saving this incredible game. If it wasn’t for this company these last two episodes wouldn’t have ever come out and Clementine and AJ’s story wouldn’t have gotten a proper ending. So thank you so much Telltale for starting and creating this amazing game and thank you to Skybound for giving it a proper sendoff.

[deangirldisease]

let me very quickly emotiondump on here how do you make a read more

oh that was easy thanks google. anyway maybe i should look for a therapist again because i hate my brain right now its all im not doing enough at work but im doing too much at work with no support and also i hate letting these people down who are paying for a service only for the service to be shit but then yesterday i reached a boiling point (probably bc of my period) and just held back tears all damn day until finally i was like fuck it im gonna have plans and goals and aspirations and shit and looked up the admissions requirements for my masters so now im stressed about that cos theres Steps and i need money but like big money, loan money, on top of wanting to see my family in general but also because my grandma fucking DIED apparently and my cousins are there and i shouldve just STAYED WHERE I WAS but i dont like. regret coming here? i dont know i dont know ANYTHING i cant tell what im doing whats my fault and what isnt what any of the issues even are. i just dont know. i dont know what i want so i cant decide what would be best in order to achieve it, i havent talked to my step dad in years and i miss my MOM and my fathers being a dick even when i call him for a favor and i feel guilty so i try to like chat with him he still acts like a twat and makes me feel bad by turning it into a transaction. i dont even really like talking to him but it’s just hurtful i guess. especially when he claims to love me and whatnot all the fucking time. and im literally AT WORK having all these breakdowns and i dont know what to do about any of it. i mean im perfectly capable of just doing the tasks and applying to university, getting a loan, studying and pretending i have a plan but i dont and its terrifying and just emotionally im so confused. ive never wanted to hurt myself out of anger ot self hatred but ive literally always kind of considered death as relief. an easy way out. dont have to plan for anything or understand your emotions if youre just gone. im not suicidal but i do wish i was dead if that… makes sense. i dont want to have to figure out what i want so i can figure out how to get it and then be forced to put effort into things. but i also think my anxiety and depression are all coming from the aimlessness. im just existing, killing time.. until what? until i get hit with wanting something and instantly regret the time i wasted? i cant even confidently say hey at least i lived in all these cool places because im barely enaging with my surroundings!! im not making friends im not going out im not even understanding any of the systems and policies i technically live by. like i say i should get a therapist but i dont know the first thing about HOW to do that. who would pay for it. i dont know anything. about anything. i just go to the woods here and theyre lovely woods, very unique, people come from the whole continent to shoot their moody movie here because its so pretty so i guess thats all. thats what ive gotten out of the last two years of my life. i read wheel of time and i saw really nice woods. and even when i think about going back to bulgaria i just think about how easy it would be to not do anything and have my familys support but thays not solving the problem!!! but idk how to explain it to my best friend because she just thinks i hate bulgaria on principle which i dont honestly, i kinda hated my peers and the general mentality of the people but now that im here i miss the humor and the food. i dont know. it all boils down to that i dont know ANYTHING and its so much to untangle and im on my PERIOD. and i feel like i need to keep talking but i dont want to actually open my mouth and say this to anyone because it doesnt make any sense and if they start trying to help ill lose my fucking mind because ill have to explain it but i dont know HOW i dont know what IT evennis and oh my god thats why i hate this job because i have to constantly explain things i dont understand so it makes me feel like THIS all the time holy shit…. i knew that before but i didnt realise how deeply rooted my issues are

lmao tumblr said i gotta shut up. how do you have paragraph restrictions embedded in the server that makes no sense. anyway. another small part of my brain keeps telling me to just move back to europe. but like on my own. but also in madrid to live with my cousins. but thats… silly. ah i finally understand the “you cant just run away from your grief/problems/emotions” movie cliches lmaoooo

let me stop fucking crying and go answer my job. dont read this

[spellcastersjudgement]

Jaden nd bastion for that domestic ask thing? >:3c

THE OTP YES i have so many feelings and everyone needs to hear me sob over the nerd baby and his superhero 

also that icon is the content i look for on this hellsite well done 

who is the big spoon/little spoon Jaden is the little spoon!! he prefers being the big spoon tbh he likes curling up against bastions fuckin ripped back but jaden always falls asleep first because he has to get this twelve hours or else he will be a grumpy boy but bastion?? bastion stays up all night drinking coffee and doing god knows what bc he’s the type of guy thats like ‘hey jaden im gonna go read a bit before i got to bed’ and then he fuckin stays up all night because he has no self control lmao so when it’s like 3am and he’s finally put down his book or finished dicking around on the computer he finally gets in bed and he doesnt want to wake up his husband (yes theyre married in my mind ok im love them) so he just lays down and pulls the human kuriboh to his chest and falls asleep 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity the standard answer is Card Games but besides dool masters they like to go on drives and look at stars and talk abt whatever. bastion is a chemical engineer and jaden’s his professional duelist trophy husband so they dont get to be together as much as they want bc jaden’s tournament schedule so when they’re together they gotta make it count u know so bastion will pick jaden up from the airport and they’ll just start driving out of the city talking about DM or what bastion’s been up to or whatever’s going through jaden’s mind (an enigma lmao) and then when there are no more streetlights to make it difficult to see the stars they’ll pull over and lay on the hood and cuddle and keep talking. it’s like 4am before they finally go home and since they’re going to sleep at the same time jaden finally gets his chance to be the big spoon 

who uses all the hot water in the morning getting jaden to shower is a fucking struggle he’s like a cat. living in the slifer dorm made him accustomed to being a generally gross person in general so he lives off dry shampoo and body spray so he doesn’t smell like hassleberry after a workout so that leaves bastion to take all of the water because he showers every morning after his run and insists on h is hair being perfect and well taken care of. like the guy has at least five different hair care products in the shower at all times while jaden, even though he’s dumb thick rich, buys that 3-in-1 crap he and syrus used to make stretch for a month back in college. jaden is also known to stick his kuriboh hair under the sink and shake it out like a dog because he is a gross boy that usually gets up about ten minutes before he has to leave so there’s no time for an actual shower and we’ve gotten away from the actual question but the tldr is bastion stands under the hot water he’s got one of those mirrors to shave in the shower while he’s doing his deep conditioning treatment and has a pore strip on his nose for beautiful ™ skin 

what they order from take out this one ties in a lot to my sageshipping BrOTP headcanons (on god there needs to be a brotp ask so i can scream to the world my love for bastion/alexis friendship) but the bit of background is that bastion and alexis would always order from this indian place that was open real late at night when they were in grad school together (no delivery at duel academy cause its an island u know) so it has a special place in his heart. jaden is a wimp when it comes to spice but since bastion loves it they order it anyway and the people that deliver the food know to make it wimpy baby spicy for jaden so he doesn’t end up sweating half his body weight up and crapping out lava four hours later 

what is the most trivial thing they fight over oh god they dont fight a lot because they love and appreciate each other’s eccentricities but if they’re going to fight its going to be over who’s doing the driving. they both love cars, bastion likes taking it apart and modifying them and whatnot and jaden likes the aesthetique (though his aesthetique is painting flames on a corolla jaden u lil shit smh) and they both like to go fast so when they go out they bitch abt who gets to drive. bastion tells jaden he doesnt appreciate the feel of the machine and jaden says bastion drives like a fucking old man so they end up settling the matter with rousing game of rock paper scissors 

who does most of the cleaning NEITHER OH MY GOD theyre both total slobs. bastion’s desk and home office is covered in his notebooks and duel monster cards, his walls covered with god knows what (formulas, dates, to-do lists, grocery lists) the guy just grabs the sharpie and starts writing because he’s afraid of forgetting something if he doesnt get it down right then. jaden lives in filth he has three day old bowls of cereal at his desk and uses used napkins as tissues he is certifiably NASTY. anyway they hire a housekeeper to make sure the entire house doesnt fall into disarray and she’s like their surrogate mother making sure they eat more than takeout and coffee and making sure the house smells nice. they call her Mama Cheryl (good middle aged mom name) and she’s the embarrassing mom at jadens local tournaments the kind that prints out huge pictures of his face and wears shirts with Neos on them and cheers for her boy v loudly. again we’re away from the question but i have a lot of headcanons abt this i’ll probs put in my dissertation lol 

what has a season pass in their DVR hmmm this is an interesting one…i like to think jaden loves crime shows because they’re heroes and he likes watching the good guys ™ win in the end. his favorite show is psych (which u all should watch its hilarious) but since that ended a while ago he’s been in to criminal minds and SVU because he likes watching the really diabolical criminals get caught. bastion never knew his mans was into such dark stuff until he opened the season pass thingy and got quite the heart attack because he thought jaden was all butterflies and flowers and funny stuff but bastion had to learn the duality of man the hard way. bastion doesn’t watch television that much but his guilty pleasure is vikings on the history channel and stuff on the discovery channel because he loves learning what a nerd 

who controls the netflix queue jaden is the one that likes to watch netflix the most but i wouldnt say he’s in control per se. they’re usually down for watching what each other likes but in the end jaden will sometimes end up superseding bastion because dammit bas we are not watching a documentary about the dead sea scrolls you dont even believe in god and bastions like fine youre cute we can watch Castle (even though thats not on netflix but i wish it were) 

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working jaden. jaden all the way. bastion brings up a a wikihow article about how to fix the hvac system and he’s like I CAN FIX THIS and jadens like ily babe but you work with chemicals not with this kind of thing ur gonna break it like the time u tried to fix the sink and fuckin clogged the shit out of it we are calling Cheryl and Cheryl’s like jaden im a housekeeper call someone who actually does this for a living. anyway while theyre waiting for the professionals to get there bastion tries to demonstrate he knows what he’s doing he is smort by writing the steps and shit on the wall and jadens like youre so cute but no dont touch the heating system. he has to distract his lil nerd by asking him about what deck he should use for his next tournament or what the probability of drawing three polymerizations on the first turn is and bastion loves talking about math so jaden keeps asking questions until the system is fixed (he doesnt remember much of bastions mathematical explanations but bastion looks so cute with his eyes all bright and shiny talking about statistics) 

who leaves their stuff around BOTH they are slobs. jadens a bit worse if we’re being honest because while bastion leaves his papers and cards around schmaden schmuki leaves his underwear and food and cups in the living room and is prone to stripping off his clothes for one reason or another and just laying on the couch watching ESPN with his goddamn pants on the floor and saying they were constricting his knees or some shit when bastion asks why he feels the need to be half naked all the time. bastion had his own room in college so he doesnt quite understand why jadens comfortable just answering the door with a trail of clothing behind him because most people that dont know him assume he’s been getting bizzay but nah he just be Like That

who remembers to buy the milk jaden do because he drinks milk in his coffee. bastion drinks it black so if theres no milk its like eh whatever but jaden is a mess without his caffeine and he hates how bitter and gross it is when theres no milk in it so even if jaden’s not the one going to the grocery store he’ll write it on the wall so bastion will remember it because his mans dont check his texts that often but anything on that wall he fuckin remembers and jaden doesnt understand why he be Like That 

who remembers anniversaries both! they are dumb thick in love with each other and they like to plan little things to do for the anniversary of their first date, when they made it official, their wedding, etc. jaden is much more extravagant and will do something like jump on the bed until bastion wakes up and then drag him out for breakfast and get atticus to sing a really off-key renditions of classic love songs and bastion blushes so hard and its so cute it should be criminal lmao. bastion will get jaden a cute little gift like one of those pictures where the artist takes a photo and paints it so they can hang it on their wall. or bastion will fine tune his duel disk or get him a new card for his deck. they are in big gay love and i love them so much 

thanks for this ask on god i just wrote 1800 words of tutorship feels i have a problem lol 

[luisneer]

selected tweets 2016-17

These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived. 

I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at luisneer@gmail.com. Thank you

    2016

   morgantown has ~48 vape shops

 **morgantown has ~480 vape shops

 siri has werner herzog-like inflections

 considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)

 think i remember ~5% of things i said today

 imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'

 felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar

 just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'

 looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed

 listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show

 feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth

 feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes

 enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')

 felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair

 left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm

 repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway

 strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones

 feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at

 in winchester, VA

 thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'

 thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name

 successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell

 ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college

 feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues

 feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours

 persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me

 psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'

 feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class

 psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes

 imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'

 saw a moth at open mic, thought about god

 experiencing difficulty trying to smile

 enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay

 intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way

 felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class

 imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview

 enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology

 perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed

 spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer

 feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success

 feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago

 i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers

 i dont like videos

 i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible

 simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance

 feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets

 huge power outage at shepherd lol

 realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'

 remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted

 feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again

 struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz

 feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery

 crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee

 laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall

 drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas

 just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting

 opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself

 'camcorder' would be a good band name

 i thought arnold palmer had already died

 willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable

 i want to stop being mean

 i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf

 wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service

 tangled up in myself and others

 twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital

 eating shark

 thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'

 thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain

 had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time

 i miss being in therapy

 i love carpet

 i love carpet !!

 just thought about my own tweets and lol'd

 mood lately very fragile

 this is what i get for staying up til 5 am

 all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me

 sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving

 my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all

 fuck, im feeling so much terror

 gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst

 the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear

 interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him

 what if old people have secrets

 my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally

 i feel guilty in general

 thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago

 im close friends with satan rn

 feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $

 from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread

 finger

 desk

 coffee cup exterior

 pajama pants

 knee

 carpet

 chin

 phone

 shirt

 shoe

 thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"

 feeling shorter, broader

 the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet

 is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos

 the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream

 i like citing things in MLA

 i write essays by pretending im werner herzog

 doesnt seem to be getting later

 lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled

 heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change

 i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help

 crazy how things get worse

 there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset

 bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed

 weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn

 also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number

 the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about

 the sunlight is obscene

 im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside

 im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys

 i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day

 yr = your ur = you're

 my favorite things are pdfs

 now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe

 i hear him but i never see him

 i love latte art, i drink many lattes

 thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew

 felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships

 went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned

 my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity

 record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money

 i prefer EPs

 felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones

 writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from

 have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why

 the internet isn't big enough

 usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"

 "uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks

 feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront

 the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours

 i'm sad

 my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today

 was luis neer in odd future

 thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account

 becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself

 thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician

 imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets

 how does anyone do it

 in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls

 everyone in the world is high except me

 feel like i want to have poems published immediately

 having delusions of grandeur

 im sitting on my record player

 my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"

 prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM

 my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend

 all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever

 watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc

 my nose feels like it's going to bleed

 im sad because every bf looks like me

 getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue

 the internet is too freaky...

 i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things

 im watching the angry birds movie

 the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...

 ive never had a new years kiss

   2017

   im weird

 eating medicinal ice cream

 im not going to do any drugs in 2017

 made a medicinal phone call

 i want to drink some blood

 i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"

 years dont kill people

 feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career

 i've felt stoned since i was a baby

 downloading google earth

 made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers

 realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football

 i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger

 experiencing cognitive dissonance

 used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally

 i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs

 my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"

 thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting

 mediocore

 beyonce is cool i think

 i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it

 remembered that i own a pinata

 i will be at awp

 how could i make twitter a better place

 i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend

 feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems

 felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones

 watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center

 i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day

 im dumber than me

 reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"

 i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion

 my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion

 i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

 does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water

 sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me

 resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts

 eating chicken and squash

 i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow

 when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day

 i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

 white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical

 terrified of being cool

 walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones

 i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung

 2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport

 i have 5 twitters

 i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman

 why doesnt anyone blog about me

 thesis statements arent real

 thinking about my book

 i deleted both my tumblrs by accident

 sad about my tumblr

 my name is all over the internet

 im a lizard

 someday there'll be no more ppl

 a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses

 feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away

 idk how to use venmo or what it is

 present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around

 when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated

 the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me

 on tumblr i have 4 followers

 almost all of my tweets seem unimportant

 feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it

 ground control to commander venus

 i like my new tumblr

 i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one

 feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life

 is everything ok

 i look like michael moore