#i dont understand how they expect people to actually get help
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dykedvonte · 2 days ago
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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lost-dazed-andconfused · 21 days ago
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Legitimately, I wish the medical and mental health fields would stop this nonsense.
In order to get therapy you (person with phone anxiety) need to make phone calls.
In order to get support for ASD you (person with unsupported ASD) need to navigate difficult new unclear social situations, get to appointments at brightly lit offices, articulate your issues, and Also seem disabled enough to warrant support.
Bonus one from my childhood that I know was legitimately necessary but I still wish they were more gentle about:
In order to know what bones are broken you (person who has broken bones) need to move your broken limb into various positions and hold them there despite any pain while we take an x-ray.
"to get treatment for adhd you (person with untreated adhd) need to schedule and then show up for several appointments" is the kind of shit the greek gods would inflict on a guy who ate his son
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liquidstar · 8 months ago
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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autisticlee · 6 months ago
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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chemicalbrew · 1 year ago
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achievement get (for the billionth time): take one look at an assignment and get severely overwhelmed AND discouraged for the rest of the day and do nothing
#it's so much and it's dishonest work!! literally dishonest because all i can think of is how bullshit a lot of it sounds. instead of#you know?#actually learning anything?#but this thorough lack of motivation is just gonna get me in trouble isnt it. how do i swallow my emotions and figure things out#its getting harder every year and the feeling that the few people i have close by do not ever truly understand - like at all - is horrifyin#yes sorry this is all i could think of for the past six hours. im having a great day (no im not. i also hate myself for feeling this way)#zero.txt#im sure it hurts the few people who care and who thought i'd actually go on to do things to see me constantly wallowing for reasons#that they refuse to comprehend or have compassion for.#just stop being sad! just get to work piece by piece! have some resilience#meanwhile all ive done is cry. maybe a part of me just likes feeling like this i DONT KNOW#and ofc so often im like. the only reason im still around is im quiet and they havent invented thought police#yet.#how can i have hope when the moment i decide to pluck a silver of it out of my core i read something that in a better world would not even-#-be a nightmare#like. you say things like that with your mouth and expect us to mindlessly repeat if we want anything in life...#fuck my stupid baka life <3#ugh im just going in yet another circle now when i know trying to put my feelings in words is not helpful. what IS helpful#negative#again sorry. at least you dont have to open this wall of tags#delete later#maybe
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mejomonster · 1 year ago
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As I get older and older I more tangibly realize why queer individuals in older generations than mine might prefer words I wouldn't use for myself, and likewise why younger generations preferences would be different too. Like it was always clear you know, a person knows their identity best and what labels they prefer best and even if you don't get it you should respect it. But I guess the older I get the more I realize I really don't know and never can know the background another person has for their perceptions and meaning for labels and why something in particular helps them to use or not
#rant#lgbt#...........................................................................................................................................#i just. so im alive in the time i guess when i saw trans identities barely discussed like even in educational material i didnt#hear about gender identity until i dug deep. to people now using transmasc and transfemme as labels. labels i dont understand and know#i dont. i presume they mean trans people who identify with masculinity or femininity? but i think im probably wrong#because ive seen transmen call themselves transmasc and it confuses me. because a transman can be a very feminine person who loves makeup#so. one cannot say transmasc and actually Mean all trans men. a transfemme does Not include all transwomen because transwomen can be butch#and reject femininity. so like... from my outdated perception i see it as the cis straight societal gender expectations of men MUST be masc#women MUST be femme which. i hate. becayse i specifically feel all people should and can be whatever they want.#any man can be feminine any woman can be masculine any person can be any range on that and change daily and do what they want#and their gender is still valid. and then like. theres ppl like me. im nonbinary. im a pretty feminine guy#im a fairly masculine woman. i dont think i could even fit into transmasc or transfemme labels.#i do think those labels help and suit people who like them. if i met a nonbinary lipstick lesbian perhapa#transfemme would help her xommunicate how she feels. but those words dont help me they are boxes i cant fit inside#and i get why they exist but its like. cool. now i get why transman needs to be preserved Outside of transmasc. because feminine trans men#still need space. i get why masculinjty and femininity need to mean something clearly Separate from gender itself or we loose the ability#to express the range of gender expression in qll areas. i dont know what transexual means but now i realize why a person older than me#may LIKE that label and cling to it. because it may communicqte something For Them that helps them in a#way that was lost to understanding by my generation. in a way that the terms no longer useful for my self identity but is for them.#in the way that trans man and nonbinary fit me but i could never be fit within the labels of transmasc or transfem etc#and in the way that for some people transmasc etc labels will fit Them and Help in a way a label like transman never can. and so on
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k0kichiimagines · 2 years ago
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its so insane to me when i see certain women say that period leave is somehow offensive i am begging you stfu i would kill for period leave dont ruin it for the rest of us because you dont want it 😭😭
#i have endo but i think it'd easier if i could get even only a few days off automatically rather then having to get like special time off#and otherwise we have to use sick leave and then we cant use it when we're actually sick :(#so insane though fr i saw someone say 'its offensive because you're saying women are weaker '😭😭?????#people who r afab are like usually weaker then people who r amab why do u think cis men r so scary#its not offensive to say that#if you chose to turn that into 'people who r afab are therefore useless and dumb' thats your fault for seeing a difference to mean one has#2 be useless because of it#if you have periods then yes you'll be tired and weaker then often getting a lot of pain#i think its more offensive to say that we need to just pretend we're the same as people who r amab and just push through#how come we're always expected to behave the same as cis men?? like if there's any difference it's always that we need to change it to fit#in with cis men?#its so annoying#like even without conditions periods can b so draining#pls help me to understand why its offensive to give people who suffer from them a break???#i do not understand#because amab people dont need it it's offensive and demeaning to give it to afab people in ur eyes??#so like fuck pregnant people then?#like how far are you going to go with this#its not equal sure but being exactly equal isnt always fair.#it's like when i say i dont fast during my period and they say its offensive like personally it gives me the benefit of being able to have#water and medicine and keep my energy up#everyone is different#and its not bad to say everyone is different#different doesnt mean one side is stupid or deserves unjust treatment#(dont take that out of context for like serial killers or something ok i beg)#its your fault if different automatically means that to you i think#i specify cis men because i personally never see transwomen act this way if anything theyre the opposite and always really kind ab periods#idk if i worded that well u probably know what i mean
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puppyeared · 7 months ago
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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harmoonix · 4 months ago
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west side
Astrology Observations
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Do you ever have a hard time to accept some planets or signs in your birth chart? Personally i have a hard time to accept my scorpio placements because they are not so easy to have in ones chart
Venus in the 1H, 5H and the 11H are the most outgoing placements for Venus! Social, creative, charming! they got all the plate
Moon aspecting Mercury in good aspects can be liked for their personality and the vibe they give to others
A Fire rising in your mars persona chart can indicate a desirable person, or someone people love to have to around
Lilith in the 2H, 6H, 10H can often charm people with their bossy atittude, they have a specific earthy energy
People with LIlith In air signs can often use dirty words while they are talking and sometimes dirty words are in their everyday dictionary
Venusian Moons (Libra and Taurus Moon) can have a pleasing voice and personality, often they can have a seducing aura
Aries Risings tend to have extremely beautiful relationships thanks to their 7H Libra, is honestly such a beautiful energy
Neptune aspecting ascendant natives can not always see their worth! They are very worthy people but tend to fall under certain stereotypes which can bring them down
Leo Lilith and Leo Rising both need to recieve attention in order to feel loved. They need to be feel seen to feel like they are worthy for you
If someone has their mercury in the same sign as your venus, you can often get compliments from them!! or to be praised by them
I feel like people with a taurus rising dont always realise their beauty, they are so modest and nice when people appreciate their beauty
People who have 11H placements often have the desire to change the world somehow or to make the world in a better place
Chiron in Scorpio or in the 8H can talk about how deeply the natives needs are, they can become needy of certain things or people
You can always tell the majority of zodiac signs someone can have in their chart based on the season they are born, for example people born in spring will mostly have planets in aries and taurus and sometimes even gemini, someone born in winter can mostly have lots of planets in sagitarrius pisces aquarius and so on
Aries Venus/mars and lilith are always full of energy! they can struggle with being stubborn though because when have a plan or an idea, they have to finish it
People with mars in libra, cancer and virgo can be the submissive ones in a relationship but without that toxic "dominant and submissive" thing, is just their energy to not rule but to help the ruler
People with an earth sign in their 8H love intimacy and in the same time will keep it priviate from others, usually those people who are shy to others but the most sexual beasts to their partners
Gemini rules over the hands/nails, gemini placements can have really gorgeous hands and nails naturally
If you have your moon between 0 and 9 degrees , your moon has a new energy which can indicate that is more active, more sensitive, more curious, they are little explorers from a young age
I think i said this more times in my observations but if you have Pisces or Libra placements, do not start a relationship until you dont learn how to love yourself first, because you can end up hurt,
People with Saturn in Libra or the 7H can actually become more mature while in a relationship, is like their partners can open their eyes and teach them how to be more mature
i started to love my 7h Saturn honestly, i have it at 0 degrees in my siedereal chart and is honestly an indictor that i dont have to rush love relationships at all. my mom tells this everytime, love will find a way in your life when you least expect it
Aquarius and Capricorn Moons in my opinion are so loyal they will keep everything private but still being loyal and loving to you, they are honestly so sweet
Usually mercury in fire signs can be a bit harsh in love relationships, they have a harsh humour which not everyone can understand, deep dark humour jokes
If is something im not sure if is accurate about astrology and birth chart is probably those asteroids that are related with genitals.. like you cant tell about someones genitals just by looking at some asteroids
Aquarius and Scorpio in the 4H, 12H house can talk about a deep wound connected with your family or close relatives, if someone hurt you from your family you can easily cut them off
People with pluto or saturn aspecting south node can indicate having a dark past in the current and past lives
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princessbrunette · 7 months ago
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puppy!reader trying to break up with rafe or just distancing herself because she overheard someone saying they couldn’t understand how rafe could be with a pogue and it hurts her feelings and has her overthinking :( (obviously rafe later on gets her to tell him who said that and he deals with it)
꒰ ౨ৎ .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩
he was used to you being all over him. if you weren’t constantly yapping in his ear, you were using him like a climbing frame, subtly rubbing your needy cunt on his leg or trying to stick a body part of his in your mouth. so, the difference in your behaviour all of a sudden was palpable.
you’d been at the country club. not particularly because you liked it there, you knew despite recently joining the kook life people still saw you as less than — but you had to say, the icecream they served was top notch, and you wouldn’t keep yourself away despite being told off plenty of times by rafe for overdoing it on the sugar and then getting hyperactive.
you step away from the counter with your cone, smiling to yourself at the small victory when your ears picks up on a conversation round the corner. you stop in your tracks, realising it’s about you.
“i mean she’s definitely hot, i’ll give him that. in like, a weird way. she’s got the whole ‘fuck me daddy’ thing going on, you know. she’s helpless. rafes gotta be fuckin’ her.” a kook you didn’t even recognise comments, sipping at his beer.
“dont be weird, bro.” another turns his nose up.
“its true! i dont care man, i know rafe — he fuckin’ hates pogues, he wouldn’t be caught dead with one, ‘specially not one as obvious as her. the girls a mess, and mommy and daddy suddenly coming into money ain’t gonna change that about her.”
your heart sinks as you continue to listen to the berating. in the north carolina heat, icecream didn’t stay structurally sound for long — and you’re only dragged out of your eavesdropping session when the dome of strawberry icecream slides straight off its podium, splatting on the floor besides your sandals, leaving you with just the cone in your hand. you stare down at it, barely registering the loss.
you’d overthought it— something rather uncommon of you. when a few hours had passed, and rafe hadn’t had you hurtling through his front door with a ladybug on your finger or something of the sorts, he actually wondered where you might be— so he showed up at your door.
you wasn’t expecting him. he never chased you, always letting you come to him first — but something felt off, and his curiosity got the better of him.
“w—what is this, you not comin’ over to bother me today?” he shakes his head and your brows crease, staring at the eldest cameron in your doorway.
“no…” you reply quietly, even going the extra length to avoid his eyes. you weren’t trying to be obvious about it, but you couldn’t help that you were upset. he stares at you for a moment, unnerved by your unusual mood.
“…well can i come in or what?”
you allow him, purely because despite your mood you didn’t like to be impolite.
“whats up with you? i already told you to stop watchin’ those animal planet documentaries, kid. they upset you, alright i—”
“i wasn’t.” you snap, and he looks over — your tone grabbing his attention from wandering around your living room, seeing you standing in the corner clutching yourself like you didn’t know what to do. you were so used to being all over him that standing by yourself felt odd.
he scratches his cheek awkwardly, eyes flickering over you. “shit, you mad at me or somethin’?”
slowly, you sit down on the couch, tucking your feet beneath you.
“i’m just trying to give you space.”
he huffs a laugh out from his chest, thinking you’re joking — but his smile fades a little when he sees that you’re not. “yeah? you were all over me yesterday, now what — you shy?”
“i’m a pogue.” you raise your voice over his just a tad, bringing your knees to your chest. the statement catches him off guard, and he sways awkwardly on the spot, watching you.
“yeah no shit. so what.” he drawls, and his agreement stings.
“you hate pogues. so… you hate me.” you draw the conclusion and he fights an eyeroll, walking over to where you’re sat briskly.
“listen if i hated you you’d fuckin’ know about it, alright? i don’t hate you. you’re a pain in my ass, but… but nah.” he shakes his head, settling down on the seat next to you and pushing his hair back, not enjoying the idea of being vulnerable. it made him a little uncomfortable. “where… where is this coming from anyways? since when did you give a shit ‘bout all that?”
“since the people at the club were saying stuff.” you mutter, and now he’s really invested. his head snaps towards you, arm freezing in the air from pushing his hair out of his face. he could tolerate the weird moods, but he wouldn’t tolerate people disrespecting you or him.
“huh?”
your lip starts to tremble at the memory, voice growing higher as you speak. “there was a group of boys, and they were saying i was a mess and that im nothing and that you had to be fucking me because that’s the only thing i could offer you and i dropped my icecream and—”
“what?” he turns his whole body towards you as you let out a quiet sob, wide eyes darting between your wet one.
“i dropped my icecream!”
“no— kid, who was saying this shit?” his outrage is somewhat comforting and you sniffle, wiping your snotty nose on the back of your hand.
“i don’t know his name. he had a green shirt on.”
he leans back in his seat for a moment, wiping hands down his face — a little frustrated with your inability to identify the culprits. he pushes his palms into his eyes for a moment, realising it’s not your fault — and you were already upset. sighing out his nose, he looks at you once more, shuffling as close to you as he can.
“quit listenin’ to nobodies at the club, a’ight? you… you think people don’t say shit about me? running their mouth about my private business? they — they do, alright— but what i don’t do is cry about it n’let them think they won. i handle that shit, like i’m gonna handle this.”
you blink at him, hanging onto his every word. you really were adorable, and as much as he’ll never admit it, his heart softens at how sweet you were by nature. you didn’t deserve to be picked on by people that weren’t him.
“how do you know who they are?” you tilt your head, really emulating a puppy and he presses his lips together, shrugging a shoulder and shaking his head.
“uh, you’re gonna point ‘em out next time we go to the club. i’ll… i’ll handle it from there.”
you nod, hating that you’ve caused any kind of conflict at all, eyes drifting towards as you burrow yourself into thoughts of guilt. before you can think too much, rafe grips your jaw — meaning well, but still carrying that boyish roughness. “hey. you’re my girl, alright? i don’t let shit slide.”
he’d never called you his girl before, so instantly — you’re all sniffly smiles, launching at him to clamber onto his lap once more.
꒰ ౨ৎ .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩
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autisticlee · 8 months ago
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sometimes being autistic really separates me from other people. there's an invisible wall that separates me from people, society, the world. all those things can reach through the wall and slap me around, but it's one way. I can't reach them. and they never pat me on the head. nothing nice comes through. and I can't get out. I try to share good things. nothing gets through the wall. they see it as I purposely don't come out of the room i'm locked in. they think I act like i'm too good for them. they are offended and reach in to slap me. i'm desperately screaming and trying to reach out to them. trying to be part of things. but I can't. I can't connect with them. I can't be part of society. this wall isn't my doing, but they are making sure it stays up and making sure they only send negative signals through. know I can't stay behind this wall or I literally can't live. but also can't get out. i'm stuck and blamed for it. told i'm not trying and it's on purpose. i've been kicking and screaming at the wall my whole life and didn't make a dent. the lonliness and disconnection that can be felt when autistic is something nonautistic people will never feel or understand.
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damiel-of-real · 9 months ago
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its been a whole week and im still thinking about it. i am unfortunately doing a completely piss poor job at being normal about it
mann i have GOT to develop a better response to seeing a bad take online. i just saw an understandable but still pretty bad take about flowey earlier and i had to immediately close the app and walk away to cool myself down
#damiel bullshit hours#the take in question was that someone said they didnt like how undertale expected them to sympathise with or forgive a genocidal maniac#i might be misremembering the exact thing unfortunately. it mightve been a bit different than that#but anyway i do get it. i dont agree but i definitely understand the thought process#but despite what you may think: undertale does NOT require you forgive asriel. its literally a choice#killing him doesnt even abort pacifist! the game considers it a morally neutral action!#but more than that i feel like its just a really boring read on asriel's crimes#as weird as it feels to defend it. all of flowey's murders were ultimately inconsequential#completely reversible actions. he didnt kill anyone because he wanted them dead forever‚ he just wanted to see what happened#obviously‚ this still isn't a good thing#but i guess my point is that in my eyes‚ the timelines where he killed everyone and the timelines where he killed everyone-#aren't different in any meaningful way#even if flowey spent every reset helping people‚ it would really change much#he still undid his actions. he didnt do those things because he was a good or bad person#he did them because he could#i think most people would do the same#idk. i think its fine to be a flowey hater‚ but i think it's good to actually UNDERSTAND his actions first#god i wish i was better at talking about things better#this should prooobably stay in drafts but i need to get this out of my brain#sorry
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cyanidedrinkers · 2 months ago
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Wade Winston Wilson and Tony 'I am Iron man' Stark
I think a lot of people forget just how incredibly smart Deadpool is. This man was in the special forces, You dont get there by being stupid. Now, I know he was discharged but still. It's been proven over and over again that this man can put together an amazing plan and is a very quick thinker- Now: Give me Wade who knows how everyone sees him, Stupid, loud, annoying and lets them think that way. Give me Wade who's scared of showing that he can have a coherent thought even after the mutation and after his brain broke and after he started talking to audience. because he's built this facade and it's easier for everyone to expect nothing from him then for them to expect everything because he's scared. Give me Wade whos scared of rejection from not only his friends and family but his coworkers and those he looks up to so he plays the dumb card and the crazy card and he plays it well Give me Wade who thinks with his hands Give me Wade who has very precise hand signals, Some that came over from his special ops days and some that he's made up for himself, to think because his brain is so loud he has to voice every thought or at least make it physical in some way so he doesnt forget it Give me someone who learns his hand signals and uses that to put his ideas into place (backtracking to my later post about Iron man and Deadpool respecting each other) Give me Tony who notices his hand signals and little drawings on the edge of his notepad and voices them for Wade like their his own ideas, Not out of malice or because he wants to steal them but because he believes in Wade and knows he's a smart man Give me Tony who keeps Deadpool behind in meetings to ask for his opinion on the matter and implements that into his plan as well because you cant tell me Wade doesnt know the best way to infiltrate a highly secured base. Give me Wade who's eyes light up everytime his plan works because he's forgotten how smart he actually is Give me Tony who learns Wades hand signs and uses them in battle, like a secret code to each other Give me the others confused by why Tony and Wade are just staring at each other only for Tony to turn to them and tell them they're changing their entire plan Give me Logan or anyone really walking in on one of Wade and Tonys private chats to see Wade, map out, little marks via figurines that Tony made (They're replicas of everyone on the team to help Deadpool visualize better), giving precise and logical ideas and Tony just nodding along Let it be Tony and Wades secret that he's not stupid. He's a smart guy, smarter than a lot of people but the pressure of being smart never appealed to him Give me Wade who asks questions about Tonys tech and Tony asking questions about Deadpools healing factor Give me Tony who allows Deadpool into his lab and lets the man watch him until he falls asleep and Tony just draps a blanket over him Give me Wade and Tony who are two very intelligent but broken people understanding each other and having the others back when no one else will.
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kosmicdream · 4 months ago
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Hello. After drawing webcomics for 10 years and making about 10,000 pages of comics, here are some things i have learned/observed in that experience..
1) making comics does not get easier.. Not really
Making comics is a tedious and slow process and with so many different facets of the experience to learn - you’ll never run out of stuff to learn or weaknesses to work on. I’m not saying this to discourage but to just give the frank reality that it really takes a lifetime to understand. Be patient with yourself and try to set healthy expectations. 
2) Read your own comics after making them.
I don’t know if this is as important to other people as it is to me, but I do think that sometimes its easy to not re-read your own work and just go from your own memory of it, or maybe you’re tired of looking at it because of all the flaws. I don’t personally get sucked into the “rewrite/remake” cycle that I know is common with comics, as I sort of just accept things as they are, but re-reading my work does help me see where I have come from and where I need to go to next. I personally don’t like to lose sight of that, and I think re-reading helps ground me in the planning process of my work and gives me a better perspective on all aspects.
3) A lot of comic advice should be taken with a grain of salt, because its the person talking to themselves. (including this)
I see a lot of advice that never would have worked for me, or just simply wasn’t something I was ever going to follow. “Dont start with your big epic long stories”! Is a common one. I don’t think that’s bad advice exactly, but how many young artists are going to listen, especially if they’ve never told a story in the first place? Yes, the advice to start small and build yourself up with experience sounds great, I’m sure people do it, but if you’re an artist you’re probably not gonna be that responsible. And for me, when i tried to do this with eggshells, my house burnt down and i kinda gave up comics for a while because i lost a lot of work. 
Writing short stories is still something I struggle with, its just not easy for me. I have gotten better at it but i don’t think that makes me less of a comic artist because I haven’t gotten good at that particular format, or that I jump around on my projects. Is it more impressive to have more completed work under your belt, sure. But I also think that.. Idk.. what is the advice actually saying, because with that one it sort of feels (often times) as a warning that you’re setting yourself up for failure/embarrassment by attempting a comic like that. I don’t know how to tell you this, but comics are gonna be embarrassing no matter what you do and there’s no guarantee you’ll be more successful/not experience failure by avoiding your passions. Something to think about anyway. 
4) Don’t draw every leaf. Unless you really want to.
I’m the kind of comic artist that kind of doesn’t care about the art as much as the whole package of the comic. When i see a very impressively drawn panel/page, with laborious detail that is well drawn and maybe even colored ect.. That usually is kind of, I guess, a turn off for me as part of the reading experience. The thing is, when i encounter that, it usually signals to me that someone has poor planning skills for comics. It says to me that comic is probably not going to see its end or that artist is overworking themselves in an unnecessary way, that ends up concerning me about how they’re doing. Because i know how hard it is to draw comics. When an artist phones things in a bit, or has a limit on how much they work on a page, its a relief for me to see! because I understand they have healthier boundaries and expectations, and the art itself usually is less stiff too. This is all an overgeneralization, but I think with a lot of webcomic artists we are usually drawing a comic for the first time ever, so it makes sense we want to do our best and try as hard as possible - that just usually isn’t the smartest plan to put all the stock in the visual department. This also kinda frustrates me to see because most comics (professional or not) will also (generally) not reel the art in ever or make a more simple style. Generally I see it always trying to outdo itself, which leads to burn out. I personally only work about 1hr on each page i draw, that hasn’t changed in the 10 years I have been drawing comics, but i used to spend hundreds of hours drawing detailed lineart for eggshells and it didn’t even read well and i’d be disappointed with the results, feeling more lost with my goals than ever. PLEASe.. Just draw worse, its usually better looking in the end too. (because you wont have the experience to judge visual clarity until you’ve been drawing comics for a while imo..)
5) Don’t draw ahead, draw those inbetweenies.
“Inbetweenies” are the pages for the “boring” ones. They are also usually the most common KIND of page. Its the pages that are necessary, but “inbetween” the action. The impact moments in a scene, ect. You gotta draw them. They’re always gonna be there. They’re the pages where maybe, the character is walking somewhere, thinking, ect. The after impact from an action.. There’s a million examples, but hopefully you’ll understand what I mean when I say they’re both necessary pages/panels, sometimes so mundane/redundant, but also required for telling the story.. As a comic is a sequence of images. This is why, the previous advice is also important IMO- because if you really want to “draw every leaf” - maybe you should save that energy and effort for those impact moments that you want to impress the reader with.. And not for the inbetweenies, which are the foundational support, but also not the most important moments. If you conserve your energy a bit, the contrast OF that effort will also pop more. I personally find it funny when I put more effort into a page and end up tricking my readers into thinking I got better at drawing, when really i just have been able to draw better and only save it for moments like this instead of always.
Also, when I say don’t draw ahead.. I mean I draw each page at a time before going to the next one. I have no idea if this is an unusual practice or not, and I know a lot of people will draw their chapters/episodes/whatever in sections like sketch/ink/color/ect.. But I personally draw and finish page by page, unless its the thumb/sketch stage. Even then, i don’t go ahead much. I think that you can control flow/pacing better by doing chapters all at once of course, I see that as a benefit. But i also think that makes things very overwhelming and can also result in a lack of flexibility if something isn’t working. No matter HOW much planning you do- comics are always going to have an aspect of IMPROVISATION with the result you get in the end. There are way too many factors in play to be in complete control of all of them and always know the result of the reading experience. SO for me, this technique is easier and has been something that continues to get me to working effectively. Plus, rumiko takahashi said that’s what she does. And i think she has some of the best visual flow/compositions in comics. So that’s what I do.
I could write more personal advice or rules that i follow..but I think those are the ones I find are the most important to me anyway. Of course, comics are a strange medium and not everything that works for me will work for you. That’s all for now.. Bye bye…! 
Oh by the way, my comics are here: feastforaking.com nastyreddogs.com https://kosmic.itch.io/ Support me on patreon! https://www.patreon.com/kosmic
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the-s1lly-corner · 7 months ago
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Hi, may i request some headcanons for Toby, Ej and Ben with a S/O who is really clumsy and always has new bruises?
toby, ej, and ben x reader who is clumsy
my legs hurt i hate how they tense up when i get stressed out it hurts so much notes: reader is gn, ben is platonic as i do not feel comfortable writing romantic for him, heavy hcs for all of them naturally but esp ben cws: edit
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toby
he has a little bit of a disconnect between pain and injuries- both for himself and other people. obviously for himself its because of his CIPA, and that leaks into how he perceives others. he knows it hurts for them but he doesnt fully understand to what degree
still, he does his best to sympathize with you when you get hurt- actually you guys likely come up with a system.. a scale to rank how painful it is.. not just for physical pain! i can easily see this being used as a general thing for you guys to rate an experience both lightheartedly and as a serious thing
gets you meds as well as an icepack for your bruises so youre not too sore- hopefully
keeps an eye on the coloring of your skin, headcanon that he keeps tabs of the look of how an injury looks to determine severity.. as well as generally having a curiosity
he doesnt outwardly judge you all that much for your clumsiness, he knows his tics have caused some accidents so hes not going to fault you for a lot of your accidents
eyeless jack
tries to find a reason for your clumsiness, or at least tries to clear it of "okay do you have something internally thats happening", and if you actually do he does what he need to accommodate you
makes sure you dont needlessly get put into a situation that can lead to you getting hurt, he doesnt babyproof his place or yours.. nor does he treat you like youre a kid, but he does make precautions
lightly scolds you for not being careful if youre careless and roll with it as you get hurt- he doesnt want you to get hurt even if its something small
knows some tricks to lessen bruises before they get too bad, as well as ways to relieve any pain and swelling
medical interest really coming in clutch!
he hears crashing sounds and he just preps himself for whats about to transpire
he loves you but he does try to help you manage your clumsiness
ben
he thinks its a little funny that youre constantly hurting yourself, as long as its not a major injury- he also thinks its a little... pathetic... its a little mean for him to think that but hey, hes a bit of an asshole so its to be expected
he cant do much most of the time on account of him not being physically there- stuck in your phone or computer or some other device. but he does try to verbally be there for you- there in spirit!
if hes connected to the internet and hes able he does try to find some solutions to either lessen your clumsiness or how to make your bruises fade faster
tries to see if theres a cause to your clumsiness but its mostly him bullshitting you
"it could be a tumor" "you little shit its not a tumor"/ref/hj
more of a "lets move on and forget about it" kind of person, which isnt terrible especially if you find yourself embarrassed by your clumsiness
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brightbertalt · 10 months ago
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just please teach me
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michael gavey x bimbo!reader
authors note - i can’t resist this man…..he’s so nerdy and hot. also meant for female!reader
warnings - dumbification, kinda mean michael, a little praise, degradation, perv!michael, the word slut, breeding kink, accidental breeding?
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god michael couldn’t wait for this.
it was your first tutoring session with him. after your failed your first math test of the semester, you decided to get some help from the smartest man you knew, who also happened to sit next to you.
“hey, you’re like super smart right?”
you asked him, peeking over at the 100% on his test. he turned his head, internally surprised you were even talking to him.
“uh, yeah. yeah i am. do you need help?”
you nodded, pouting and practically shoving your test in his face.
“i can’t even believe it! i got a 53% on this test, it was like, super hard!”
you complained, crossing your arms; which just so happened to push up your breasts. they looked so good in that tight tank top you were wearing.
“you’re asking me to tutor you?”
you scoffed out of frustration.
“duh! i don’t wanna fail!”
he was going to be your tutor. it sounded like music to his ears. michael gavey was going to be personally teaching the cutest girl he knew.
and annoying.
you yourself weren’t annoying, but the fact that someone like you, who probably didn’t even know which direction an x axis pointed, could get into oxford university. probably on a huge helping of daddy’s money is what he thought. unlike him, who actually earned his place. nonetheless, he would tutor you.
he could have some fun with that.
he saw this situation in porn all the time. dumb schoolgirl goes to someone like himself to get help, and they end up fucking like rabbits. he didn’t have any experience with women in person, but he figured porn was close enough to the real thing, right?
he wondered how sweet your voice would sound begging for him.
“sooooo, does my place sound good? i have such a cute setup it’s like, unbelievable! and im free around 6 tonight.”
“yeah, of course. i guess ill be over then..!”
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he knocked on your door, trying to stop his hands from shaking. he adjusted his glasses, waiting for you to open the door.
“mikey! you’re here!”
you opened the door and hugged him. he tried not to audibly moan from the sensation of your boobs pushing against him.
“just michael is fine!”
he blurted out, nervous that you were this close to him. would he even be able to survive this night?
“i dont have any extra chairs, so we can just study on my bed! how’s that?”
you asked, walking in your dorm and sitting on your bed.
he wouldn’t be able to survive. you said that so innocently, as if you didn’t understand what two people could do on a bed. as he walked over to your bed, he didn’t expect anything different. it was adorned with pink pillows and a huge fuzzy pink blanket. it was so you.
“the thing I wasn’t really understanding was number seven. i don’t even know where to start!”
he nodded, grabbing his supplies out of his bag. how could she not understand this one? it was the easiest by far. nonetheless, he explained it in the most basic way he could. you nodded, pretending to understand.
“okay, now you try.”
you smiled dumbly, attempting to try it on your own. you stopped shortly thereafter, flipping the pencil in your hand.
“i just don’t get it michael! maybe math just isn’t for me..”
you leaned in closer to him, putting your head on his shoulder. you felt defeated. defeated by some numbers on a page. he sighed in annoyance. he did like this feeling, but he didn’t like your dumb little brain. maybe he could take advantage of that. he only dreamed of that, though. tricking you into pleasing him. giving you a ‘reward’ for finally get 100% on your tests. you’d probably love that too.
“ill probably drop math. its too hard! i dont know how you do it. you’re so smart michael.”
“well you’re not even trying are you? you just have to think, y/n!”
“i am so trying!”
you loosely hugged michael. he could feel himself starting to get hard. why’d you have to be so handsy with him?
“thanks for helping me though! you’re so smart michael.”
he felt himself twitch in his pants. he couldn’t take it anymore. he couldn’t take the teasing anymore.
you felt his lips press against your own soft, glossed lips. he pulled away quickly, already preparing for the worst. you would push him off your bed, throw his bag at him and yell at him to leave. instead, you grabbed his sleeve.
“please don’t leave mikey.”
how could he refuse you?
he moved closer to you, going in for another kiss. you were an aphrodisiac. so irresistible. made for him to fuck.
you shook your head, kissing all over his face.
“it’s totally fine, please just stay here.”
he gently pushed you down onto the bed, kissing and sucking on your neck. fuck, you were so nice. your skin was so soft and plush, and your voice sent him into a spiral.
“is this your first time mikey?”
“y-yeah. i know you probably think that’s pathetic or weird or-“
“mikey. please just fuck me. i don’t care.”
those were the sweetest words he ever heard. he could cum right then and there.
“god, fuck, can i ask you something?”
he asked.
“are you on birth control?”
you shook your head. fuck, for some reason that was even hotter.
“ill pull out, don’t worry.”
you nodded, noticeably absentminded. you were so dumb, and it was so cute to him. he was known around campus for his smarts and talent in math. and now he had, which was quite possibly, the dumbest girl at his university under his thumb. it felt so good.
“i trust you mikey.”
he smirked as he pressed continuous kisses into your neck and chest, experimentally pushing his hands underneath your cute tank top and groping your breasts. you whined underneath him, taking your top and yanking it over your head to expose your chest.
“you’re so cute. just let me take care of you, okay?”
he licked and sucked on your chest, trailing his way down your body until he got to your little cute shorts. god this boy was a freak. you helped him get your shorts off of you, exposing your bare cunt to him. you squeezed your legs together, a feeble attempt in covering yourself.
“why be shy now? you already teased me for half the semester.”
you nodded at his remark, leaning your head back. he teased, kissing up your thighs. michael’s smirk was criminal as he placed a gentle kiss on your pussy. you bucked your hips and moaned on him. he gently prodded your entrance with his long fingers, slowly inserting two of them inside you. he chuckled as he moved his fingers in and out.
“mikey i-“
“you’re what? wet as a bloody fountain? because you are.”
you let out a pornstar-esque moan and feebly grabbed in his direction. you needed him inside you.
“mikey please just fuck me! please!”
you shouted out, rocking your hips into his fingers gently. he grinned and stood up to take off his pants, as well as unzipping his coat.
“i don’t get it.”
you said bluntly, looking up at him.
“what?”
“your shirt. I don’t get it.”
you pointed to his shirt.
‘not all math puns are awful. just sum.’
you shared a moment of brief awkwardness.
“it’s like how the result of an addition-“
“i didn’t ask for more math! just come over here michael!”
he quickly nodded and took off his stupid shirt, leaving it on the floor next to the bed. he climbed over you, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.
“are you sure?”
“please just do it already mikey!”
you whined. he always knew you were bratty. he would love to put you in your place though. he slid himself into you, gasping at the warmth and tightness of your pussy. he slowly slid all the way in, swearing under his breath as he did. you were definitely made for him. so warm, so soft, so perfect. he placed a hand on your lower stomach, feeling himself inside you.
“you’re so warm holy fuck, I can’t believe im inside you right now.”
he blurted out, slowly starting to move. michael was definitely a little above average. so goes the trope of nerdy white guys. the largeness of him made you feel so full, so stuffed. you couldn’t handle it already. tears pricked at your eyes as you slung your legs onto his shoulders. michael wasted no time fucking himself into you, letting out all sorts of lewd noises.
“can’t believe im the one doing this. always thought you’d be with someone like felix, fuck.”
he grabbed at your hips, guiding you up and down on his cock. another loud, indecent moan was let out of you.
“im the one fucking you, no one else gets to have this dumb little cunt.”
he tilted his head up, overwhelmed with pleasure.
“im all yours mikey, please just keep fucking me!”
you cried, grabbing onto his hands on your hips. he grabbed your right hand with his left, pressing it right next to your head. his face was right next to yours as well now.
“nothing in that stupid head, huh? nothin’ but me fucking you right now. i always knew you were so simple.”
you clenched around him, leaving him to chuckle under his breath.
“you like that? me calling you dumb? knew you were a slut.”
michael’s smartass attitude definitely never left him. you shook your head unconvincingly. you did like it, but being a brat was so fun.
“i know you like it. you already feel like you’re gonna cum on me. poor little thing. probably forget everything you learned this semester just from this.”
he said with fake sympathy. it was true, you were close. you could feel his thrusts getting more erratic and needy, so you knew he was too. you just remembered you were supposed to have a math lesson today. oh well. you could always just google the answers.
“I don’t think im gonna be able to pull out, you’re so fucking warm and tight I can’t-“
you immediately came to your senses. you were admittedly dumb, but not dumb enough to let michael cum in you.
“michael please pull out-“
“i- fuck!”
he abruptly came inside you, his jaw slack as he aggressively rammed his hips into yours a few more times. the sensation of his filling you up was too much, and your orgasm shortly followed. he collapsed on top of you, breathing heavily.
“im so sorry y/n, you just-“
“ill figure it out mikey, just hold me.”
and he did. he laid on his side as he traced his thumb on your belly. you fell asleep soon thereafter, together.
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