#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception

[gigabyte-flare]

Insatiable (Part 1)

Summary: You are a researcher for D.S.O. who is responsible for studying Leon Kennedy as Las Plagas overtakes him, maybe even finding a cure. He starts to take a liking to you, too much of a liking to you.

Word Count: 2k

Pairing: yandere plagas!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader (afab)

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Actions depicted in this story are not condoned in real life. You are responsible for your own content consumption. If any of the following warnings trigger you, please read at your own risk. Minors do not interact, this story is 18+ only.

Warnings: Extreme violence and gore, biting, dubcon, forced breeding, gross las plagas-y things, death, mentions of un-aliving. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT.

A/N: Heavily inspired by this artwork by @chanif-art on Tumblr along with Project Scorpion by @tagzpite. Literally could not get this idea out of my head until I wrote it down. Definitely going to be another series. We're also going to pretend D.S.O. was founded way sooner than 2011 k byeeeeee

“I fought a war and I learned how to win, but how do you fight when the enemy’s within?”

You step out of an elevator led by two armed D.S.O. operatives in tactical gear deep underground at HQ, your white lab coat flowing gently as you walk forward. Grasped in your right hand is a voice recorder. You and the operatives go through a series of heavy steel doors leading you into the bowels of the underground facility.

Is all this really necessary? you think to yourself as you’re led deeper into the abyss.

Finally, you’re brought to a single cell enclosed with clear polycarbonate panels with steel reinforcements. In this cell was a man sitting in a chair that was bolted into the floor, his hands chained behind his back and his legs chained to the legs of the chair. This man is Agent Leon S. Kennedy. You approach one of the panels closest to the steel door keeping him in. 

Switching the voice recorder on and bringing it to your mouth, you state your name before continuing, “The year is 2004. The subject is field agent Leon Scott Kennedy, currently 27 years old and exhibiting the late stages of Las Plagas infestation, his body is covered in dark, vein like marks. Subject is currently slumped over in the chair. He appears to be catatonic.”

Bringing the recorder away from your mouth, you motion to one of the operatives to guard the door. You input a passcode into a key panel next to the door. It lets out a hiss as it slowly swings open. As you step in, the door swings closed and locks.

You bring the recorder back to your mouth and continue, “Agent Kennedy?”

You watch as Leon slowly lifts his head, his face completely covered in the dark veins, his once blue eyes now have a slight red tinge to them, it makes your stomach twist in sorrow, he used to be such a handsome man.

“Subject appears to still have some cognitive ability left as he immediately recognized his name. We’re still trying to understand how he hasn’t broken down now that the alpha Plagas host, Osmund Saddler, has been destroyed--”

“I’m right here, you know,” Leon suddenly spoke, making you jump.

“Ag-Agent Kennedy!” you reply, eyes wide in shock that he’s able to speak. 

“Please, just call me Leon, sweetheart.”

His dark gaze seemed to pierce straight into your very soul. You collect yourself, clearing your throat.

“How are you feeling, Leon?”

Leon looks down at himself, tugging gently at his restraints before looking back up at you, “all things considered, I actually feel pretty damn good.”

“That’s… good, I guess,” you reply, your nervousness clear in your voice. 

You hadn’t prepared for this, every researcher that attempted to interact with him got absolutely nothing out of him, hence why they sent you down. You argued with them, not seeing the point but now you began to realize that the difference was they were all men, you were a woman. 

“Awww… there’s no need to be so nervous, sweetheart, it’s just me, Leon Kennedy. I promise I don’t bite,” he says, a small smirk appearing on his lips, “hard.”

“Do you know where you are and why you’re here, Leon?”

He lets out a chuckle, “yeah, I’m in D.S.O.’s research facility because I’m turning into a monster.”

“That’s putting it rather bluntly, but yes, that’s correct.”

“About time they sent someone cute down here to visit me, the rest were much too dull. If I wasn’t chained up, I’d ask you out to dinner and a movie.”

You feel yourself blushing, “that’s… very kind of you Leon, however that won’t be happening anytime soon, I’m afraid.”

“That’s a shame, because I’d love to take you to bed and make you scream my name,” he growls, a sinister grin overtaking him.

Your heart is pounding out of your chest as your eyes widen at him. This wasn’t like Leon at all, the parasite was clearly twisting his thoughts. You panic, turning around to motion the operatives to open the door and let you out. As soon as you’re out of the cell, you briskly walk away from the cell as fast as you can, not once looking back. You could have swore you heard Leon’s laugh echo after you. 

“I am not going back down there, are you insane?!”

“You’re the first person he has actually spoken to since he got back from Spain,” the lead researcher, Bryan said, setting your voice recorder down onto his desk. 

“So? Your point? I’m not doing it and that’s final!”

“Look, this recording gives us valuable data on him, it’s clear that the Plagas inside him is mutating into a more dominant strain. It must know it’s the last one left,” Bryan said, pleading with you.

“So we’re just going to poke and prod him like he’s some guinea pig? Leon wouldn’t have wanted that! Are you sure there’s no way we can cure him?”

“If we attempt to remove the parasite now, it will kill him--”

“Then let’s put him out of his misery, this isn’t right!”

The silence between you was deafening. After a few minutes, Bryan finally spoke.

“Judging by this recording, the Plagas has one thing on its mind.”

“Which is…?”

Bryan looked up at you, letting out a heavy sigh, “reproduction.”

“All the more reason I shouldn’t be going back down there!”

“He’ll be restrained and you’ll have at least two operatives with you at all times, you’ll be safe,” Bryan leans forward on his desk, folding his hands together, “the data you collect from Agent Kennedy is invaluable in finding out how the parasite works, just… go down and talk to him. I know yesterday was unnerving but there is one thing he said that is true, he’s just Leon Kennedy. He’s in there somewhere, even if the Plagas is influencing him.”

You cross your arms, staring at the floor, letting out a frustrated sigh before looking back up at Bryan, “fine. But I want hazard pay.”

“Consider it done, here’s your recorder back,” Bryan says, sliding the recorder across the desk towards you. 

You grab the recorder of the desk, turning on your heel to walk out of Bryan’s office.

“You are to report down there in an hour, you hear me?” Bryan calls after you just as you walk out the door.

You fight the urge to flip him off, thinking better of it. You walk down the hall into your office, getting your lab coat back on and sitting at your desk. You press play on the recorder, listening back on your interaction with Leon several times. There was one part where you repeated it several times, sending chills down your spine.

“That’s a shame, because I’d love to take you to bed and make you scream my name.”

How long had Leon been locked down here, chained to this chair? How many men in lab coats came and tried to talk to him? He knew he was a lost cause, why were they keeping him alive? How many times did he wish death would come and take him in his sleep?

But then you came, awakening something in him.

Your natural scent filled the cell completely, so many hours had gone by and he could still smell you and you smelled absolutely divine. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, the way your voice was so sweet yet filled with drive and intelligence. The way you blushed when he flirted with you. The way your heartbeat began to race at just the mere mention of taking you.

God you were so cute when you ran off, all flustered, he couldn’t help but laugh; he hadn’t felt alive like that in so long. His reminiscing was interrupted suddenly when he could hear footsteps coming down the hall. Lifting his head, he practically began to salivate when he saw you had returned.

You came back to me, baby, where you belong…

“The subject appears to be conscious and alert, he watched us as soon as we were in his line of sight,” you say as he watches you speak into the voice recorder. 

With a hiss, the door opens and you step inside. Leon breathed in deep, taking in the smell of you, you smelled even better than you had yesterday. He feels his cock twitch in his pants in excitement. He watches as the door behind you closes and locks, just like it had yesterday, trapping you in here with him.

Curse these fucking chains…

“You’re more lively today, Leon, care to tell me why?” you ask, your voice flat and void of any emotion.

“How about you tell me why you smell so nice,” Leon replies, grinning at you, drool running from his mouth down his chin.

He watches you shift uncomfortably before you continue, “I’m not answering that.”

Leon scoffs, shaking his head, “then I’m not going to talk to you, sweetheart.”

You take a deep breath, “if I’m going to be honest, I don’t know why I smell so nice to you, Leon.”

His red eyes scan up and down your form, imagining it without all those needless clothes. Imagining himself pinning you to the floor and fucking you stupid. A strange, clicking sound came out of him from the back of his throat as he pulled aggressively on the chains holding him to the chair. He watches as the two men with guns outside become alert. Leon lets out a low growl as he glares at them.

You turn to face the men, signaling to them to stand down. He watches them both relax before you return your attention to him. 

“The transformation appears to be progressing faster than expected,” you say into the recorder, “are you in any pain, Leon?”

Leon slowly shakes his head, “no, just unbelievably horny, doll.”

“We have reason to believe the subject is displaying an increased libido due to the fact that the parasite inside him knows it’s the last of its kind.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here, that’s awfully rude.”

“Fine,” you say, lowering the recorder away from your mouth, “what do you want to talk about, Leon?”

“You should ask those nice boys out there to take these chains off me,” Leon purrs, staring at you longingly.

“Absolutely not, Leon,” you reply, crossing your arms, “those chains are there for my safety as well as your own, at least until we can get the Plagas out of your body.” “I think I’m too far gone for that, don’t you think, sweetheart?”

You take a deep breath and exhale loudly, the sorrow clear in your eyes, “I am so sorry that this is what you have become, Leon.”

“I’m not,” Leon says as that sinister grin overtakes him again; he starts to chuckle.

“Leon,” you begin, stepping closer and kneeling down to be eye level with Leon, “I know the real you is in there, somewhere, you have to fight it.”

Your scent was almost enough to drive him crazy, you were delectable. He licks his lips, that clicking sound coming out from this throat again. His eyes are locked on you and he sees you glance down briefly before looking back into his eyes. He knew what you were looking at, you were looking at the noticeable bulge in his cargo pants.

“You’re so pretty, you know that?” Leon says, his body visibly trembling.

You don’t respond, you simply stare at him with that same sad look in your eyes. How could you not want him as much as he wanted you. His lips curl into a snarl.

“Let me FUCK YOU!” he growls, lunging forward, the bolts in the chair letting out a loud screech as they’re bent slightly.

You stumble back, falling backwards onto the floor as Leon continues to struggle violently. The two men with guns come rushing in, one of them grabbing you off the floor while the other shoots a tranquilizer dart into Leon’s thigh. Leon feels the effects almost instantly, his body becomes limp as he becomes sluggish, his mouth hanging agape as he watches you get led out of the room by the two men, the door shutting and locking behind them as you’re led away.

“Mine,” he whispers in his last moments of consciousness, “all mine.”

Part 2

[lbxbx]

Blackmail | KTH

Pairing: Idol!taehyung x reader

Genre: smut, angst. Five shot

Synopsis: being part of their staff meant you had to be around them all the time, Taehyung has a checklist of all the girls he slept with and filmed and you were next on the list, as he lures you using several ways one of them being actually showing you the content he films, before you finally give in and he actually films you to tick you off of his list. Little do you know it’s the biggest mistake ever.

Disclaimer: events and incidents in this fiction are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. This does not resemble Taehyung’s character whatsoever.

next

“He’s probably late over something stupid.” One of the hairstylists huffs blowing her fringe off of her face.

Nothing new really, you’re so sick of hearing her whine all the time, as if she’s not aware of how hectic the schedule is especially during their tour, not only the schedule is all over the place, they usually get sick and exhausted during this time so they do deserve to rest for an hour longer at least.

Of course you rolled your eyes and sometimes you would actually leave the entire room the second she starts whining and radiating negative energy to the entire staff, once she starts nagging, the energy shifts right away since over half of the staff don’t like her.

You were able to manage though and got used to it since you’ve been working with her for a couple years now, you figured out a way to reduce your chances of a headache. The moment she starts whining you take your airpods out of your pocket and put them on, blasting the music really high up and totally caring less if you couldn’t hear people around you.

Your job was quite sensitive, it took you years to get to where you are right now, you had to be there all the time whether it was broadcasts, practice or even listening parties or stupid birthday parties, you were always there with them.

And being with them for a few years now made you all really close, you understand their characters very well and it’s nothing like what people see on TV or their phone screens, they’re still human after all, and most importantly, they’re still men.

It’s four in the afternoon and time is ticking, the concert is supposed to be started by 9 in the evening and they’re still not here, and there was still a sound check and practice that had to be done first, you were really behind on schedule. You see the girls standing up at the same time which makes you lower down the music.

You hear footsteps coming from the end of the aisle and the staff are all on standby which means that they’re finally here, you take your spot near your station and put your airpods back in their case ready to start on Taehyung’s face.

Your work suited his face the best, of course you’d work on everyone’s face if they needed you to cover for someone, but you were really skilled and your talent suited his features the most. You’ve been working on Taehyung for a couple months now.

 He gets into the room and yanks his top off, a view you’re used to the entire time whether it was him or any of them, he throws himself onto the chair and looks at you once before looking at his reflection in the mirror. “How are you?” A forced smile lingers on his face.

“Good, how are you?” You smile under your face mask, he nods his head. “Sleep deprived, but I should make it.”

“Fingers crossed.” You cross your own fingers and put a headband around his head to get his hair off of his face, he’s growing his hair really tall that he’s tying it in a man bun most of the time. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m not planning to cut it off.”

He’s smarter than what people think, you giggle and nod. “I think it looks good on you.” You finally pump some primer onto your hand and start dabbing it onto the skin of his face.

You know people envy you for your job, and in fact you’re really happy with it because it pays really well along with other privileges. Their fans probably envy you the most and you know they look really good but you’re not attracted to any of them in any possible way. You spent so much time with them that they feel like colleagues.

After all, you and them work for the same company.

He takes his phone out and dims the brightness as he starts rapidly texting someone, his leg anxiously moving up and down, you’re used to that too, he must be nervous or tired.

It was peak summer and the weather was suffocating, the humidity and the heat together forced everyone to either wear less clothes or constantly keep the air conditioners turned on, but in your case you had to chose both because you cannot stand the heat, and you get really embarrassed if you got sweaty.

And honestly your top was driving you insane, it was really lose that it kept going down your shoulder, and whenever you would move to grab a brush or anything, it would slip down your shoulder and reveal your bra straps, you can’t keep holding onto it the entire time because you needed both your hands while you’re working, so once you adjust your top it would slip back down your shoulders in seconds.

It kept happening over and over before Taehyung notices, a smug smirk sits on his face before he runs his index finger over the collar of your shirt. “I love your shirt.” And you playfully slap his hand off and grab him by his chin to throw his head back, dabbing contour onto his jaw line. “Thank you, I got it when we were in Vegas last year.”

He moves his head down again to look at your plain white top as if it was his first time seeing this excessive amount of skin, he’s totally checking out your tits and cleavage that appeared whenever your shirt fell down your shoulder. “Oh I miss Vegas.”

“You do?” You push his head back again and he finally gives in. “I enjoyed shopping there.”

“Other magical stuff can happen in Vegas if you know what I mean.” He winks at you which makes you force a laugh. “Says the one who spent his entire time at the hotel.”

“Exactly.” He simply agrees before looking around making sure no one is listening before signaling you to come closer and you do, and he whispers. “I spent two nights with four different women.”

You’re used to so many weird things from the seven boys, but this is a first for you. You look around worriedly hoping that no one over heard him, your body tenses and you feel the need to escape this weird topic. “It was an iconic concert though.”

He scoffs before whispering again. “Girl fuck the concert, four different whores in two nights, it was an experience out of this world.”

“Taehyung.” Your voice stern and serious when you stop him. “You know this isn’t allowed, and you’re being a little loud right now.”

He waves his hand before he looks you dead in the eye. “We do this all the time, nothing is not allowed.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s always you men bragging about stuff like that.”

And he even dares to look around the room again. “There are 13 different women in this room right now, I slept with like.. 9 of them.”

Your shirt drops down your shoulder again but you’re too occupied working on the face in front of you that’s been blabbering nonstop about things that are making you severely uncomfortable. “This is totally not okay.”

“Says who.” His eyes pierce through your cleavage. “Sometimes girls beg me to sleep with them, and I can’t let them down can I?”

“You’re lying.” Your fingers start working faster still making sure the makeup that sits on his face is flawless, you’re wishing this conversation would end fast.

“I can show you if you want to.” He raises an eyebrow in challenge and you giggle thinking in your head that he’s totally joking, but he probably isn’t.

“No thanks I’m good.” You finally put on some lip tint and spray his face with a setting spray. “You’re good to go.”

He gets up but his eyes are still focused onto your chest, a little uncomfortable space between you two as he puts his hands in his pockets. “If you still don’t believe me go ask Namjoon or Jungkook, they spent the night with someone and they could probably tell you about it.”

“Why are you insisting on proving it to me?” You frown and walk a step back, “I’m not interested in finding out more.”

He shrugs carelessly. “I wanted to do you a favor, maybe the nine I fucked in this room can finally be ten, by then I’ll have only three left.” He laughs, totally proud of the joke he said, if that’s even considered a joke.

You scrunch your nose and hit his chest playfully, you kind of wished you did it harder though before you tell him. “Shut up, get away.”

He takes another step closer and hooks his finger to the collar of your shirt to reveal your chest that’s only covered with a bra.

“I know the female body really well, and I know women really like having their tits sucked, have you ever had your tits sucked before?”

This time you push him harder and hug your shirt closer to your chest. “You’re crossing the limits Taehyung. Get away.”

He laughs playfully and feigns innocence before tapping your nose. “You’re so cute do you know that? I’ll see you on the break, maybe you should do some thinking until then.”

Mira the hairstylist pushes Taehyung back onto his chair and takes the headband off of his head, you reorganize the makeup into the makeup bag when you overhear him asking her. “Are you feeling better today?”

Mira sounds flustered when she answers him. “Shut up.”

Maybe he did actually fuck over half of the girls around this room, this man is unbelievable.

-

As soon as the first part of the concert ended they moved backstage again to change and have their makeup retouched, you knew he was going to start the awkward talk again so you put your airpods  on and pretended to be listening  to music even if you weren’t. His eyes were  piercing through your entire body the whole time.

He takes out his phone and opens the gallery to purposely open a video he filmed, he could see that you were watching his screen so he turns up the brightness on his phone.

In the video was a naked girl on her knees in front of him, her hands tied behind her back and her makeup was smudged, she was begging him to make her cum . And he was caressing her cheek and  putting his thumb between her lips.

Your facial expressions change and you find yourself cringing, he looks at you and bats his eyelashes. “I told you.”

“Taehyung, this is wrong on so many levels.” You push his face to the side to work on his makeup.

“It isn’t, I promise.” He shakes his head. “I promise you no one will ever know. We can spend a couple nights together and that’s it, no strings attached.”

And you immediately refuse. “Absolutely not.”

“Are you close with any of the girls around here?” He asks and you’re a little taken back at his question. “Yeah?”

“Who?”

“Luna I guess.” You name one of the girls while shrugging and he scoffs, before exiting the video on his phone and scrolling through it to open another video.

In it you see Luna one of your closest friends in the company, blindfolded in a bed and Taehyung’s face is in between her legs as he’s eating her out. Is it really okay to mess around?

“You can’t be serious.” You gasp. “Is it only you or do the other guys do the same?”

“I don’t care, but if you have your eye on someone I could hook you two up together or something.” He shrugs and your jaw visibly  drops. “You are unbelievable Kim Taehyung.”

“Wait until you try me in bed. I’m a fucking god.” He confidently speaks and you’re shocked, you’ve known the man for years but this is totally new for you. “Name someone else.” He exits the video on his phone before you shake your head. “No thanks, I don’t think I wanna see anymore.”

He locks his  phone and leans his head back onto the chair while crossing his arms. “Just think it through and I promise you won’t regret it.”

“It seems to me like you’re the one begging for sex.” You force a smirk, his eyes meet yours for a couple seconds and he mirrors your smirk. “What if I was?”

“You’re getting nothing anyway.” You shrug. “You’re done, get up.”

“Oh I get it.” He remains in his seat. “Are you attracted to someone else? Let me guess, is it Jungkook? All women have something for that jerk.”

“I can’t deny he’s cute. But nope.”

“Is it Seokjin?” He tilts his head. “No, is it Jimin? Do you have a kink for cute guys or something?”

You roll your eyes and turn your head to walk away before he grabs your wrist. “Can you make my lips a little darker please?”

You look around trying to find the lip brush before dabbing some color onto his lips. “I’ve been told that I was good with my mouth, I just care about you so much I feel the need to make you experience it.”

“Oh my god.” You roll your eyes and put the lip brush away, he rises up on his feet while laughing, “Alright I promise I’m done, but I just want you to think it through, you won’t regret it.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t think I’m changing my mind.” You clean up your station, he brushes his entire body against your back and whispers. “Will you be there tomorrow on the episode filming?”

“Well I guess unfortunately I’m always there.” You flinch in your spot and immediately take a step back. “Taehyung please stop touching me like that.”

“Alright.” He takes a step back and whispers. “I have a surprise for you tomorrow, I promise you will love it.”

“Then maybe I should call sick.” You look at his reflection through the mirror, he smirks and high key stares down at your ass, a second away from actually groping it in front of the entire staff and his band mates. “So I’m guessing you don’t like surprises.”

“From you? Nope.” You turn to face him, realizing you’re sandwiched between him and the mirror behind you, “May I?” You clear your throat, trying to find a way to get away from him, he stands next to you and gives you enough space to walk out of the room, his eyes still locked onto your ass, thank god it was summer time and thank god for biker shorts. Taehyung was suffering when he can clearly see the outline of your panties through your shorts and he can’t do anything about it.

Your rejection only makes him insist more and Taehyung grew up spoiled, people got him everything he wanted, and if they didn’t, he made sure to get it in his own way. So your rejection doesn’t really matter to him. He will have you eventually.

Even if you said no.

-

It’s the next day and you were already on the set, luckily one of the other stylist couldn’t make it so you had to work with Namjoon and Jimin instead. You could clearly see Taehyung’s eyes staring at your reflection in the mirror even when he’s three chairs away. You roll your eyes when he winks at you and he even dares to blow a cheap kiss. Your friend Leah who’s been working on his face rolls her eyes too and stands in the way.

“Do you wanna put your lenses on?” You ask Namjoon, he takes one look at the mirror and shrugs. “I don’t feel like putting lenses on, what do you think?”

“You’d look good both ways, but maybe I should put more eye makeup on if you’re not putting lenses on, is that okay?” You fish out another palette and show him the colors and he nods. “Yeah, sounds good.”

“Of course. Y/N’s so good you have no idea.” Taehyung gets up from his chair and walks towards you. “You’re lucky she listens to you, I tried suggesting things to her but she kept saying no.”

Namjoon scoffs and grabs out his phone. “It’s because she’s smart.” Does he know about his friend?

“Don’t you want to know about the surprise?” He puts one of his hands in his pockets and takes a step closer to you, his other hand picking onto your top, even sneaking a look under it.  Practically there was nothing to see, the studio they were filming in was freezing cold so you had an extra layer on. You subtly push his hand away and look back at Namjoon’s face trying to finish him up. It was basically impossible with Taehyung distracting you.

He takes another step closer this time his body almost touching yours as he whispers. “I’ll be waiting for you in the parking lot after we’re done filming, please come.”

You sigh and look at him, this can’t end up will and it won’t. His personality specifically scares you and you could swear the man was bipolar in some sort, when sometimes he’s all flirty and shit, and all of a sudden he claims this character that’s so innocent and cute which doesn’t really suit him.

“I’ll think about it.” You put the brush down and tap Namjoon’s shoulder. “What do you think?”

“It looks great, thank you.” He barely smiles and immediately leaves his chair to go and lay down on the nearest couch. You turn your head back to put the brush back into the makeup bag and Taehyung is still standing there. His eyes still scanning your entire body.

He’s a man with a plan, and honestly he knew exactly how he wants to have you. He scans you head to toe, your hair that he wants to pull on while he’s pounding into you uncontrollably, your lips and neck that he cannot wait to bite into. The way you bite your lip when you’re anxious or when you try to hide a laugh always ignited him.

Your chest, fuck he can easily tell the color of your bras and he even knows when you do your laundry, he knows exactly when are the days you wear on your sports bra, or the days you switched to your black bra that perfectly highlighted your tits. Although he grew to be a fan of your pastel pink bra that makes the color of your skin pop, he admires how the cups hug onto your big tits and this bra’s straps particularly keep sliding down your small shoulders.

He moves down to your waist and hips, the outline of your panties through your pants were like a gift from god to him, he would purposely drop things down on the floor just to watch you pick it back up, and those days would usually end up with him either hooking up with someone just to let it out of his system, or just jerk it off alone in his place.

Your juicy ass is going to be the death of him, he would sometimes sneak into the gym at the company just to watch you jog in your tights, satiating his eyes and scratching an itch inside him just to watch it jiggle right before his eyes.

During their tours he would constantly grab your handbag into his hotel room, making an excuse that your handbags look alike even when they aren’t even remotely close to being similar. He would lock the door right away and rummage through your clothes just to fish out all your panties and jerk off to them, one being around his cock and the other one near his nose and lips, sniffing and inhaling whatever is left onto them of your smell, even though they were washed, but he convinced himself that this is how you smell. It was really erotic.

And before you notice your bag missing, he would quickly take pictures of your panties just for him to keep and return them to your bag and switching it out with his. He lost control so many times and “Accidentally” Shot his seed onto your panties, and with the small span of time he had, he had to return them soiled into your handbag.

Which when you discovered it was already dried up, you huffed and the naïve you thought it was the bottle of your conditioner blew up or something, which if you think harder and open your eyes, it was only one soiled panty.

Taehyung had a goal, and growing up not being surrounded by many women in his life, he’s compensating but in an abnormal way, he has hooked up with over half the women who work in your company and it was your turn and he wanted to have you just so he can check your name on the list and tick it done.

“We’re starting in 10 minutes.” The producer announces which snaps Taehyung out of his thoughts. “So did you pack for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, aren’t you excited?” You genuinely ask, you packed up your carry on the night before since you’re all heading to Osaka tomorrow for their tour. You can’t deny you love your job, you get to travel all over the world with them and you even get paid for it. But little do you know, there will be a price you have to pay.

“Oh yeah, even when it’s just for one day but I love Osaka.” He looks behind you and you follow his eyesight to find one of the stylists wearing short shorts that her lower butt cheek was clearly visible to everyone. You look back at Taehyung to see him still glancing at her ass with his head tilted. “Oh my god Taehyung, stop.”

He laughs and takes his phone out. “Come take a look. Her ass didn’t look like that when she was naked.” You debate for a second but you’re human after all and you’re a little curious, you stand next to him and watch him dig through a locked folder on his phone, scrolling up for a good two minutes before he finds the picture.

It was that stylist laying flat on the bed face down, her hand tied behind her back and her bare ass was sore read, clearly spanked and fucked until she passed out. And he was right, her ass didn’t look the same when she was naked. “You’re right, but that doesn’t mean that this isn’t wrong.”

“Hey, if it makes you feel better I get their consent before I do anything.” He scrolls up again. “Wanna see something else? Look, this is her.”

He hands you one of his airpods and you put it on, and he starts a video of her down on her knees, her eyes blood red, clearly she was either drunk or high, and she was begging him to slap her on the face with his thumb into her mouth.

“Shit.. Please daddy, please spank me and make me yours.”

“Good girl, are you going to be daddy’s little whore and beg more?”

“Please spank your little whore on the face, it feels so fucking good when you do that, please spank me.”

And he slaps her hard on the cheek enough to make her hair fall on her face, but she immediately looks back at him and begs him to do it again and again and he does. And you can’t help but to notice the tip of his cock showing in the video. “How does getting slapped on the face feel good? I don’t get it.”

“Shh-“ He notices your voice getting a little higher and opens up another video. “You shouldn’t knock it till you try it, every girl I’ve been with said it felt amazing.”

“Do you think you would enjoy getting slapped on the face?” You ask, blinking your eyes a couple of times, he smirks and locks his phone. “I haven’t tried yet, but I’m willing to try it with you if you want to, maybe you can slap me on the face while you’re riding my dick, we’ll see if it feels good.”

Your face flushes at his explicit mentions of sex, you hit him on the arm and turn away from him, packing your kit into the makeup bag and taking a seat finally. And your flushed cheeks are considered as a good sign to him, he’s getting there and he’s slowly sinking his claws in to have you eventually.

The episode they’re filming took them a little over eight hours, you’re already packed and ready to leave and you hesitate actually going down to the parking lot, it’s almost an hour after filming and you’re not sure he’s still in the building or not.

The elevator stops at -1 and you make your way out, the entire floor is near empty and you can only spot around four cars parked around the floor, and all of them seem empty, except for the Genesis Suv that’s parked way back in the corner that flashes it’s lights repeatedly. It’s him.

You make your way there and reach your hand to the door handle and try to open it but it’s locked. Quite a trashy move of him to actually call you over and forget his car locked. You roll your eyes when he unlocks the car and you go inside. “What?”

“What?” He mocks you and locks his car again, “How was your day?”

“Taehyung just make it quick will you? We have a flight to catch tomorrow and I’m nowhere near ready—“ You’re interrupted by him shushing you and grabbing your purse away from you to put in the back seat. He reaches his entire body to the car floor and takes out a little box that’s wrapped in a tiny velvety ribbon. “This is my surprise for you.”

You’re intrigued. Your gaze meets his for a split second before you reject the box. “I can’t take gifts from you.”

He doesn’t even argue as he offers you the box again. “Hey, you don’t have to open it now if you want to.” He puts the box down onto your lap and leans his arm on the middle console. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning and you’ll tell me what you think, deal?”

You’re even more intrigued and you’re getting more curious to actually find out what’s inside, and why would he actually stay after schedule just to hand you this gift? You even shake the box while suspiciously maintaining eye contact with him which makes him smirk. You can only hear one thing clicking in the box and you can’t quite put a finger on it and figure out what it is?

“Alright, whatever. Are you going to drive me to my place or what?” You already put your hand on the door handle ready to leave the car. “No I can’t I’m sorry, I have a place to be, I can get you to the bus stop if you want to.” He just says that out of pity. What a douche.

“No thank you, I’ll walk there.” You squint your eyes before you leave the car, he doesn’t even wait for you to walk out of the building and he drives away fast, he really is a douche.

Public transportation wasn’t a big deal for you anyway, the ride home on the bus was very therapeutic to you, you usually keep your headphones on and listen to an audio book on your way back to clear your mind, or you would usually catch up with your friends on the group chat or something.

Sometimes you would even fall asleep if it was an exhausting day, but on your trip home tonight you were anticipating getting to your studio apartment so much, not that you’re greedy for the gift or anything, but you’re just curious why he so suddenly decided on giving you a gift that actually looks expensive.

You get there after a 40 minute trip and you finally get into your flat, not even taking your shoes off you rush to your couch and put the box down and untie the little dainty velvety ribbon, you take the top of the box off and you only see a few wrapping papers covering what seems to be a clothing item. You take it out and you feel your entire body heat up. It’s a costume.

No no, not any costume, it’s a little too slutty to be an actual costume. It’s a black leather one piece with spaghetti straps, a really low neck line that you know no one’s chest will ever fit in them. Not only that, but a pair of black lace stockings and suspenders, and a choker.

What in hell..

You put them down on the couch beside you and dig deeper into the box to find cat ears headband and a.. What the actual fuck.

A butt plug?

You cannot believe him, you put the blame on yourself for actually listening to him and meeting him up in the parking lot, and you shouldn’t have accepted the gift in the first place, he’s an actual man whore.

You scrunch up the entire outfit in a messy ball and throw it back in the box, before closing it and throwing it near your door on the floor, so you can pick it up and throw it in the trash in the morning.

-

A mini-van is supposed to collect all the girls up from their places and head to the airport, and of course you’re late. Last night’s sleep was horrendous, you couldn’t stop overthinking about the little trashy gift you got from the trashy man. You cannot believe some girls actually idolize this man.

“Y/N, if we miss the flight we have to book one ourselves.” Mira shouts as you hurriedly close your carry on and struggle to put on your pair of sneakers. You look at the trash near your door and sigh. “Damn it. I have to take the trash out.”

“Nope, you’re not taking anything out, I’m not willing to pay anything extra for the job I cannot stand.” She’s slowly losing her patience and so are you. You forget about the trash and get out of your place and lock your door.

The moment you get to the airport it’s already chaotic. Their schedule has been up since last week to the public and their fans know that they’re going out for tour, so they’re waiting there to hand them gifts and handmade letters. Again you cannot believe the image he shows to people of him when you know his true personality.

And boy was he good at faking an entire persona, you have no idea what girls think of him but fuck he’s nowhere near how girls imagine him. A trashy human being that you could swear reeks like sex the entire time. He looks like he woke up with a hangover so you guess he was probably with someone last night and he was onto something.

He notices your existence amid all the chaos when you all get up to the lounge to have your breakfast even when you could’ve waited to get to Japan to eat, the trip wasn’t that far away. You grab yourself a cup of coffee and stack up food on your plate, you know you won’t have the time to eat later so you decide on fueling up early today.

“Good morning.” He puts his coffee down on the same table you’re sitting around and you sigh before looking around. Relax Y/N, you cannot make a scene.

“Good morning.” You proceed on eating, you cannot let him ruin your morning this quickly.

“So, what do you think?” He crosses his legs and tilts his head towards you. “The moment I saw the costume I knew I had to buy it for you.”

“Mhm, truly says a lot about your character, a trashy gift from someone like you.” You don’t beat around the bush. He laughs and leans towards you to whisper. “Please tell me you got it in your luggage.”

“Nope, I’m getting rid of it—“

He shrugs right away. “Then I’ll buy you another one.”

A moment of silence fills the air when your gaze meets his for a couple seconds, he pulls his chair closer to yours and takes his phone out which makes you whine. You know he’s going to show you more of his kinky NSFW content and it’s really uncomfortable for you to watch it. “Look, I don’t know how I can explain this better for you, but trust me. It is okay for things like that to happen in this field.”

“Just because everyone’s doing it doesn’t mean it’s right.” There you go, a girl with standards.

“I swear it is okay.” He pulls his chair even closer and now his shoulder is rubbing against yours when he whispers. “Y/N baby, us men are totally different. You girls can go around without sex for ages and you won’t even care. But men have this sexual energy that they need to let out one way or another.”

This is really disgusting.

“And people like us need to be careful on who to hook up with, and you girls are the safest because we work together.” He shrugs. “Not only us, every idol in the country has to do so.”

Of course it’s partially right, but you’re genuinely confused on why wouldn’t he just get a girlfriend instead of bitching around with plenty of women.

“You know, the idea itself is not that acceptable, but I can understand. But why do you film them? For the love of god you have an entire folder on your phone dedicated to this content. I mean, why do you have to film them when you have them right there in front of you?”

“Good question.” He nods. “You know how some people try and discover themselves, they sometimes dig around here and there trying to find out what actually turns them on, and you know they try and discover their preferences?”

“Are you trying to mansplain what kinks are?” You proceed on eating. “So is that your kink? You like filming women?”

“It’s more fun than the actual thing to me. And the times I made myself cum to the videos I created are countless. It’s fucking sexy.” He grits on his teeth and puts an arm around your chair. You’re getting uncomfortable with him not leaving you enough amount of personal space. “I love watching them looking at the camera and begging to be fucked and just submit to me.”

“And they’re all okay with being filmed?” You ask him and he nods right away. “Now they know what I like, and now they ask me to film them. What about you?”

“No, I’m good thank you.” You answer right away and put down your fork when you’ve fully wiped your plate clean.

“No, I mean what kinks do you have? Have you tried discovering what your preferences are?” He asks, twirling a strand of your hair in his hand, you can feel his breath against your ear when he whispers. “What was it like being fucked the first time?”

It takes you a moment to answer but you eventually do. “I don’t remember what it was like, it was long ago, but I don’t recall it being fun.”

“First time is always awkward.” He nods. “What about the second time?”

You shrug one shoulder and cross your arms. “I don’t think of sex the way you do. I mean I’ve had sex multiple times with different partners, but I think it’s a little overrated.”

“Overrated?” He’s offended. His hand sits on his chest. “You think sex is overrated?”

“Okay chill.” You get up on your feet to refill your coffee and he follows you. “I just don’t find it as fun and as pleasuring as people claim it is.”

“It’s because you haven’t had it with the right person.” He defends right away. “Oh my god did you even cum before?”

You shrug. “I don’t know, maybe.”

He’s interrupted by your gate opening, their carryon luggage is carried and already loaded inside and the rest of the staff is starting to board. “This isn’t finished yet. I’ll see you when we get to our hotel.”

“Whatever Taehyung, don’t make a big deal out of this.” You push him away to grab your bag and get in line. “It is a big deal.” He argues one last time and gets in line and boards the plane.

-

You have no idea what went through you, but the entire flight you were rethinking your conversation with him and you find yourself slowly getting convinced about the idea generally. You really surprised yourself when you hum out loud, thinking that you are getting curious to try and spend one night with him.

Do girls actually want to sleep with him because he’s good? Or because he’s an idol and that’s like literally a fetish to some people.

You cannot deny he’s really good looking, he’s really charming on camera but even the camera doesn’t do him any justice, he was perfectly sculpted in real life and way more attractive than people think.  But it’s just his recurrent sexual behavior that’s been setting you off. You find yourself cringing.

The entire plane has been booked for Bangtan and their staff. Them with their managers, security, filming staff, directors, producers, engineers, stylists and makeup artists of course, editors. Everyone on this plane knew each other.

It was a little noisy to begin with since some are catching up and some are chatting, so you put your earphones on the entire flight, and right when your third song on your playlist ended and the fourth one is about to start, you over hear the girls behind you.

“You need to cover for me when we get there.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can barely stand on my feet, and I’m really sore from last night.”

“Who did you spend the night with? I thought you were inviting me.”

“Taehyung and Jungkook. I passed out at the end.”

“You’re kidding.” 

So it is normal for girls to actually sleep with them and go around telling their friends like it’s totally okay. It’s starting to feel like a whore house, and it probably is.

You peak your head to look towards Jungkook and Taehyung, both of them are sleeping and even snoring. Of course they’re tired when they spend the previous night with the same girl. This is so fucked up.

Not long after you all get to the hotel to spend the only free hour you get before your day starts and you all head to the stadium for rehearsals. You’re surprised that the entire hotel is booked for the staff too and you luckily get your own room with one single bed, but who are you to complain? You always hated having roommates, so one bed is way better than having a roommate.

Right when you’re about to close the door a foot stops it from moving any further which startles you for a second before you open the door again. Of course it’s him, who’s been digging deep and moving around asking stylists which room you got. “Oh come on.” You whine.

“Can I come in?” He so politely and innocently asks, for a second you’d doubt he’s the same person who showed you an entire folder of girls begging him to do stuff to them. He doesn’t even step a foot further inside your room before you huff and roll your eyes. “Come in.”

He takes one last look to the corridor and walks in, the door automatically locking when it closes.

“What’s up?” You act occupied as you take out your skin care products to put onto the dresser. He plops down onto your bed and grabs the pillow to put under his head. “We have unfinished business.”

“Taehyung, don’t you take no for an answer?” You don’t even spare him a glance.

“Hey, If it makes you feel any better, I’m your friend and colleague, we’re around the same age, consider this as a friend helping another friend.” He shrugs and talks as if it’s that easy. “And if it makes you comfortable, I’m not filming you if you don’t want to.”

“Oh yeah, because filming me was the only problem.” You turn your head to the little coffee machine in the corner of your room and make yourself a cup, he doesn’t argue back which makes you wonder why, you turn your head and he’s literally digging into your handbag and taking out one of your bras.

“Kim fucking Taehyung.” You snatch your bra away from him. “Get out.”

“I knew you were a C cup.” He gets up onto his feet. “Look, I’m sorry if this made you uncomfortable, but I don’t know why you’re really over thinking it. It’s just a one time thing, we hook up and that’s it, no one has to even know.”

“You could easily lure any woman into bed and we both know it, but snatching away my bra and showing me your stupid kink and shit won’t get me into bed with you.” You put your bra back into your handbag and close it.

“Then tell me how.” He puts his hand into his pockets. “What could get Y/N to sleep with me?”

“Exactly, and it’s nothing, nothing could get me to sleep with you Taehyung, this is fucked up.”

“Money? How much and I’ll give it to you cash, right now.”

The audacity on this man.

“Oh my god, you’re making it even worse if you can’t tell. Get out.” You open the door to your room.

He huffs and walks towards the door to shut it again. “Okay, look, I’m sorry if this offended you I didn’t mean so. But again why are you rejecting it? Millions of women want to be in your place.”

“Yeah, I know, and I’m not one of those millions. Besides, how am I supposed to look at you again if we ever slept together?” You cross your arms.

“Like you’ve always looked at me.” He pouts. “Nothing will change, no strings attached, it’s just one night, is it my fault that I really want you to enjoy one night?”

You open the door again and look him in the eye, your coffee is already gone cold and you’re over this argument. He closes the door again and tugs your hair behind your ear, whispering softly. “Y/N.. I feel like you’re different, you’re nothing like other girls, you’re a really nice, sweet and attractive young lady that deserves to feel like a woman.”

It’s a little alarming to you that with such small physical contact with him could make you think about it seriously.

There’s nothing to lose, you’re a woman after all and you have your needs.

He promised you one night, no strings attached, and apparently he’s really good and he knows what he’s doing.

“Don’t you think you deserve to have at least one night of mind blowing sex?” He grins and grazes the back of his hand against your cheek. “We’re flying back to Seoul tomorrow night, I’ll give you enough time to think, and maybe I can have your phone number or something, we could stay in contact and probably discuss things while keeping it on the low key.”

“Discuss?” You squint your eyes.

“Yeah, we could talk, tell me what you like and how you like it, you know, stuff like that.” He elaborates, you sigh and look him in the eyes. “What if we happen to like different things?”

“Then I’m willing to let go of the things that I like just for your sake.” He crosses his fingers. “I’m a good boy I promise.”

“Fine.” You can’t believe yourself. You take your phone out of your back pocket and proceed to add him to your contacts, a satisfied smile lingers on his face and he even leans forward to print a kiss to your cheek. He’s totally buttering up his bread and he thinks he can get you to agree to this faster, but you’re smarter than him.

“You’re crossing the lines Taehyung.”

“Who cares about the damn lines, if we agree to this I’ll be kissing other things and you’ll want me to.” He opens the door to your room and walks out. “I’ll see you around.”

And indeed. After your one hour free time you all headed to the stadium for rehearsals, the concert was happening tomorrow but everyone needed orientation around the place.

During the entire day he never brought it up, neither look at you like he has been recently, he kept it professional with you in front of everyone and never spoke about it like it never happened.

You were scheduled to leave the stadium at around 11 in the evening, the girls decided on going out for dinner but you skipped, you had multiple coffees during your day and you don’t feel physically well, so you just head back to your hotel and take the elevator up to your room.

You gasp when you see him about to take the elevator and go down, you barely recognize him when he has a cap and a face mask on. “Oh, hey Y/N.” He so casually speaks.

“Hey, you’re going out?” Why did you even ask. He laughs softly and shakes his head. “No, I’m going downstairs to grab a bite from the buffet, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you going out?”

“I’m a little tired, I guess I’ll just go to sleep or something.” It feels like you’re talking to the Taehyung you’ve always known for the past years, nothing feels different so far.

He looks at the time on his wrist and looks back at you. “If you want to, I’ll grab something to eat quickly and come hang out with you, maybe we can talk about that thing.”

Yup, never mind.

“I think I’d rather sleep.” You walk out of the elevator and he walks in instead. “Come on, 10 minutes max, I won’t be late.”

You shouldn’t have asked him anything in the first place.

“You know, I don’t think it would be a good idea if you and I stayed alone in one room.”

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to spice things up, we’re just hanging out discussing things, like other colleagues do.” He presses the button on the elevator. “I’ll see you later.”

And the elevator door closes before you could even shoo him away for the evening. He’s just going to come up to your room later and you know he’ll force himself inside.

You click the key card to your room and immediately change to your pajamas, you even turn off the lights and hope he thinks you’re asleep by the time he knocks at your door.

Thankfully time passed by and he never knocked. But instead he went back to his room and decided to text you.

1:54 | KTH:

Couldn’t come by sorry

1:54 | KTH:

Are you still awake?

1:54 | KTH

Wanna come over to my room 😉

KTH sent a photo

KTH sent a video

Of course he can see your read receipts, he knows you’re awake and he even lured you further into the conversation by sending you a photo and a video that you rush to open.

He’s not exactly there in the photo, the picture is taken of his TV turned on and he’s under the blanket, you can only see his covered legs from above the blanket, nothing too special.

The video is what makes your ears buzz, you find yourself pressing your thighs closer to each other, when he palms what seems to be his erection from above the blanket, and holy fuck was he big or were you hallucinating. You turn the volume up and you can hear his breath changing with every stroke of his cock. He inserts his hand under the blanket and strokes his cock before flipping the camera to his face and smiling like nothing happened.

Luckily that video is on replay, so it keeps replaying on its own unless you swipe it away, you don’t know what possesses you, you put your phone down against the used coffee cup from earlier and pull your pants down, your hand travels down to your folds and you touch yourself, delivering circular continues rubs to your clit and teasing your entrance with your middle and ring finger.

You spit onto your fingers and move further down again to rub your clit faster this time, your shoulders tensing and your hand already growing tired. It always takes you so long to get to your edge and you need a stimulant more than just a stupid photo or a video. Your other hand moves to grab your breasts out of your top and you pinch your nipple and squeeze onto your flesh. “Mmm.” Your eyes are piercing through your phone screen but your stupid screen saver decides on locking your phone which makes you whine desperately. “Ugh.” You grab your phone and unlock it, of course the video is gone.

2:03 | KTH:

Like what you see?

Has it been 9 minutes already?

Your fingers rush to type on the screen.

2:03 | You:

🙄

2:04 | You:

Mister kim is spending a night alone how weird

2:04 | KTH:

Mister Kim?

2:04 | KTH:

You can keep calling me mister kim if you want to 😉

You bite onto your fingernails, wanting to send a risky text but you’re so unsure. Your fingers hover over the screen and you proceed to type, but quickly delete what you wrote.

2:05 | KTH:

Want me to send you more? Maybe you can send me some

And of course this is off the table, you’re not going to send him nudes not because you’re against sending them generally, but you’re against sending nudes to him. Your pictures may end up in a folder on his phone like any other woman.

2:06 | You:

Goodnight.

Taehyung has been dealing with women like you for years now, he can see and expect any behavior that you may project and this is one of these situations. You sending him goodnight didn’t quite literally mean goodnight. He knows you want this to happen but you’re still in denial and you don’t know that yourself.

So of course, without thinking twice, he opens the camera on his phone and this time pulls the blanket down a little just to reveal the tip of his cock that’s pressed against his stomach. He grabs the massage oil to pump some onto his long fingers and strokes his angry dick again.

The man has been with so many women that he built a stamina that no regular woman can take, he can go for hours and women even beg him to cum just so they can rest, he was animalistic and it was out of this world, hence women actually passing out when sleeping with him. Stroking his cock alone won’t get him to his end and he could easily calm his erection without having to cum, the self control on this man is incredible.

 He touches the red circle on his phone screen and starts filming, clearly teasing you and showing you only the tip, his cock all glistening from the massage oil. It was quiet around his hotel room, and the only thing that’s heard in the video is the sound of stroking heard clearly when it’s this slippery, and the sounds he was unbelievably good at faking, little whimpers and moans, his breath hitching and even swear words escaping his lips. “Fuck.. Mm, Y/N, this is all for you.”

The video was sent to you, and you don’t hesitate to open it, this time actually positioning yourself on the bed and grabbing out one of the thickest makeup brushes you have on hand, wetting it with your mouth and slowly teasing your entrance before pushing it inside. The video starts and your fingers abruptly move to turn up the volume. Your body instantly heats up and reacts upon the sounds you hear, and holy fuck you can clearly see the tip, and it looks fucking edible at this moment.

You cannot believe this is happening and you feel your face even heating up, is it embarrassment? You can’t tell, it may be embarrassment but hey you’re not the one sending nudes he is. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Well except the fact that you’re masturbating to a video of him.

You hear your name and in a click of a button, your stomach tightens and your back arches, your hand moves faster to insert the back of the makeup brush further inside your thirsty pussy as you chase your orgasm. Even when the brush was cold and it practically didn’t feel like skin nor had the size of an actual dick but it was enough for you to let go.

Your chest heaves and your legs shut tightly around your hand and the video still plays on your phone that’s still nesting in your other hand, your eyes locked onto the screen afraid that you can’t see the same shot anymore when you swipe away.

The last bit of self control of you finally washes into your body and you swipe away, you can’t deny you immediately regret but you had to swipe away at some point.

2:35 | KTH:

I thought I’d hear u cum but I didn’t L

Your body stiffens and you immediately get up onto your feet, the makeup brush slips out of your vagina down onto the floor and you rush to see through the peephole and immediately cover your mouth with your hand when you see him standing there on his phone, leaned against your door and still texting you. Your hand that’s holding your phone is leaned against the door so with every text he send it vibrates and the entire door vibrates with it which makes him look at the peephole from his side.

And holy fuck at this point you’re terrified. Luckily your room is dark and he can’t see anything, but he knows you’re watching him. You rush to grab your pants and put them back on and get under your blanket. As if he’s going to open the door at any second and hurt you.

You shut your eyes tightly trying to avoid looking at your phone screen but you eventually do.

2:38 | KTH:

Sent you 9 messages.

The door to your room knocks and you actually gasp, covering your mouth again but the entire floor was so quiet and empty that if a needle fell everyone would hear it.

You get up onto your feet and put on a jacket to cover yourself even when your pajama wasn’t revealing at all, you just put your jacket on for protection. You look through the peephole one last time before you open up and he almost stumbles because he leaned his entire body weight against the door. “Hey, I thought you’d never open.”

“Yeah, what’s up?” You hug your jacket closer to your chest and cross your arms, “What’s up?” He asks with a smirk on his face as he walks inside your room and closes the door behind him, “So what did it feel like?”

“Hmm?” You open the mini fridge and grab water out for yourself to take a few sips. He chuckles and puts his hands into his pockets. “Y/N baby, I know your body more than you do. Your face has the afterglow and you’re not breathing regularly, and your lips are blood red. What did it feel like when you made yourself cum to the video?”

“Taehyung I—“

“What did you like the most? The sounds or your name actually being called when I’m jerking off to you?” He plops down on your bed and throws his phone down on the nightstand.

“I’m not breathing regularly because you’re over here past midnight spying on my door.” You sit across the room, maintaining a good amount of space between you two. “And please don’t call me baby, I’m not your baby.”

He rolls his eyes and huffs. “We’re just chatting, trust me I’m not going to touch you if you don’t give me your consent I promise, besides I-- Hey, what’s that?”

His eyes land on the makeup brush that’s dropped down onto your floor, and the glistening tip is what caught his attention. “What do you mean, this is a makeup brush.” You rush to stand up and run towards it but he’s faster than you are, he picks it up from the floor and a smirk sits on his face, fuck he even grabs it closer to smell it and he knows what this smell is. But yours was sweeter and truly different from other smells.

“Would you look at that.” He scoffs. “A makeup brush? Really?”

“Stop.” You bite onto your own teeth and you approach him to snatch it away, but again he’s faster. He licks the tip of the brush once and smacks his tongue into his mouth before swallowing. “Mm.”

Your entire body freezes when you watch him savor it, he licks  the tip of the brush clean with his eyes closed, you thought your body would react to it but none, you’re standing there stiff right before him when he gets up onto his feet. He opens his eyelids and his gaze meets yours, his pair of tight sleepy eyes gazing right through yours. “You taste heavenly.” He grabs your hand and puts the brush into it before leaving your room and closing the door behind him. The second you hear  the auto lock on the door you drop down to your bed with the brush in your hand.

Trails of his saliva are visible on the end of it and you cannot help but pull it closer to your mouth and lick it after him. You’re fucked.

You wake up the morning after wishing you could forget what happened last night. You’re pretty sure you’re embarrassed and ashamed at the fact that you got caught. You didn’t want this to happen to begin with, how are you supposed to look at him when you have to spend the entire day with him?

You pack your handbag and hand it to the hotel staff, you’re going straight from the stadium to the airport so you had to be ready and they took your bag to load the bus with the rest of the luggage.

“I don’t get it, we left the hotel at the same time, he’s supposed to be here.” Mira whines. The entire staff was ready and he wasn’t there yet. “The sound check is in less than an hour—“

“We know the schedule Mira, please just Shush.” You woke up on the wrong side of the bed and you weren’t ready to hear any whining, “Yeah Mira. I’m here give yourself a break.” Taehyung walks from behind you and gets seated onto the chair. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Mira alone responds and proceeds to blow dry his hair while you take out your kit and completely ignore the man seated on the chair in front of you.

He’s trying to look at you sneakily but he’s keeping his promise, no one is going to know anything so he’s not going to be doing anything suspicious to the rest of the staff. “Are you feeling better today?” He asks politely.

“Me?” You point to yourself unsure if he’s talking to you, and he blinks his eyes in a “Yes.” Before speaking. “You weren’t feeling well when I saw you in the elevator last night.”

“Yeah, she didn’t join us for dinner, are you feeling well?” Leah asks while she’s working on Seokjin’s hair.

“Oh yes, I went to bed early and I’m doing well today.” You force a smile on your face and grab out the little bag that had all your makeup brushes.  That brush is the first thing you see when you open the tiny purse and it reminds you in case you forgot, that you were caught masturbation last night.

“You can start Y/N. I need to get a new bottle of hairspray from downstairs.” Mira puts her stuff down and walks away leaving you to work on Taehyung’s face.

“Can I ask you something?” He looks around before whispering and you answer him right away. “Nope.” Which makes him pout. You roll your eyes and start dabbing primer onto his face. “What do you want?”

“Did you really throw away the thing I got you?”

“Well, I’m planning to.” You poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue, he shrugs and whispers. “What you did yesterday would feel ten times better if you actually use the gift.”

“I don’t do butt stuff Taehyung.” You argue right away, still low enough for only you two to hear. He looks at you while squinting his eyes. “Who said anything about butt stuff?”

“You sent me a butt plug, don’t try and act oblivious, the gift didn’t send itself.” You grab his chin to throw his head back. “Silly, it wasn’t a butt plug, it was a vibrator.”

His face is right there you can easily slap him and make a scene, it’ll cost you your job but who cares.

“Don’t look  at me like that.” He scoffs. “Text me when you get home tonight I’ll show you how to use it.”

“I know how a vibrator works Taehyung thank you. Now would you stop moving I can’t blend the concealer well.” You try hard to change the topic, but the idiot grabs your purse of makeup brushes and takes out that brush and hands it to you. “Here, I think this one will do.”

Your gaze meets his for a couple seconds before he looks down at your lips and bites his own, totally imagining your lips swollen from all the kissing, the picture of you choking onto his dick that he drew in his head is now chasing him whenever he lays his eyes onto you.

Maybe you being mean to him made him actually want to have you more than before, you’re unlike them, other girls from your staff didn’t even think twice before hooking up with him. But you being a tough cookie made him ready to beg just to be with you even if it was just once.

[damnfandomproblems]

"The Bi Guy" Superpost

This is where we're gathering all the remaining inbox items submitted by that one anon. Keep in mind that you may still see some posted in the fandom problem queue, these were submissions that were already scheduled in advance before we decided to finish them all off in one big post.

People have dubbed this submitter "the bi anon", but we're just going to post all remaining submissions of his. This may include some that don't mention bisexuality at all. Submissions from other users on the topic of bisexuality will not be included in this and will receive the normal Fandom Problem image format at some point.

And just a disclaimer in advance, since these were all submitted on anon, we're just making our best guesses for which posts are his, based on formatting, proximity, theme, and for lack of better words, "vibes". It's possible that we could make a mistake at some point and include submissions from other posters. We apologize in advance if we make any mistakes.

Originally we planned to include everything into one big post, but there were so many and the post was already getting so long that I've decided to break it up into a few separate posts. This first post will comprise all the submissions he's sent from the months of February 2024 through May of 2024. So, four months, and we've still got quite a bit of catching up to do. Remaining posts to follow in the coming days.

February 2024:

Most of the time, it's pretty clear and feels like a vast majority of fandoms and in general, don't really care about bi men and only "care" about bisexual men either in fictional characters, in theory, in headcanons, celebrities, or celebrities they headcanon as bi. That last one is in the same boat as shipping real people. Don't do that. It's a huge ick and very gross. In addition to that, it's annoying watching the same people who praise and hype up a (internet) celebrity for having a "queer" taste in women, than assume those are the only men who are like that and men in general like this don't exist. Ridiculous to say, bi men have a "queer" taste in women than not stand by that view, say you need to be bi to be like this than not stand by said view and only pick a select few (straight) men as the good ones. It's even more irritating using this to dunk on men in general. Reinforcing stereotypes, one stereotype at a time. It also doesn't help that erasure is seen as a "privilege" for bi men, when much of the same people who claim that hate erasure directed towards themselves and don't hesitate to call it bigotry. "Bi men face a lot of erasure, therefore in being forgotten about and invisible, they have it easy! The fact they're erased and ignored means nothing bad happens to them!" Way to keep more in the closet. I understand them in some cases; why come out to a community that will ignore you and actively assume nothing bad happens? This view also does nothing for fanbases. Caring about fictional characters over real people will never be a good thing. Writing off all male fans as a bunch of dumb straight incels is never going to be a good thing. I wish things were different. Watching bi men posts turn into posts about fictional characters, and headcanons are never going to be good.

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"If there were more canon bi male characters, they would be shipped with canon bi female characters!" Lol, no, they wouldn't be. When a fanbase makes it crystal clear that they never want to see a (bi) female character as much as look in the same direction as a male character, they mean it. Also, why do we need qualifiers before accepting that some fans just genuinely like "straight" pairings? It's possible to just like it and call it a day. There's nothing wrong with that. And that shouldn't earn negativity from other fans who can just adhere to a "don't like it, don't read it," view when participating in fandoms. Lastly, what a fan does in headcanons is rarely an indicator of what they say about canon. Otherwise, you would see a lot more tolerance for bi female characters being shipped with men or acknowledged as being attracted to men in canon because of all the headcanons brought up the moment a "good straight" pairing rolls around.

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Many times, a fanbase comes up with some of the most boring and annoying reasons other fans should never even look at putting a female character with a male character. Or even just m/f ships in general. When they themselves could adopt a "I don't ship it but I'll leave shippers of it be," view, as opposed to bullying or forcing other fans to never touch these kinds of ships. "The main female character is in a relationship of the same gender!" I can see that. Not an indicator of who other female characters should be shipped with. Also, there will always be fans who ship the main character with other characters "She's a strong independent woman!" Falling in love is not a weakness, even for "strong" female characters. A fictional woman is not a weaker character for falling for a man and loving one deeply. "She's bi, that means never shipping her with a man!" I don't believe you know what that means. Or you just don't respect a bi female character being attracted to men. Also, it's possible to accept the fact that you'll never ship her with any of the male characters, but plenty of other fans will. "All the male characters suck!" That's an opinion. Even if that's somehow the case, OCs exist. "No one is allowed to ship her (with men)!" Not up to you. "She was abused by a man in canon! That means romanticizing abuse if you ship her with other men!" Plenty of women have gone through an abusive relationship before entering a much healthier one with another man. Fictional women aren't any different. "How can you look at her and believe she's attracted to men?" Stop stereotyping. A female character being gnc doesn't mean she's not attracted to men. "She hates men!" Most of the time when this is said, it's either haters projecting or a line or a scene taken out of context. Or both. Leave other shippers alone. It's not that hard.

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There is some sweet and REALLY annoying irony in how the moment a fictional woman is revealed to bi, she takes a complete nosedive in the shipping department. Irony only gets deeper when many of her fans who insist she must never as much as be even seen around a male character (because as we all know, that's what bi means, right?) in both fan and canon content act soo surprised by her sudden lack of fandom popularity as of late. My friends kicked out by the manager, YOU caused this on yourselves. Viewing a female character as incapable of being a popular character and one that is attracted to men at the same time is never going to be the win you think it is. Not even just in the context of bi female characters & biphobia. Female characters in general who are attracted to men in canon being seen by a fanbase as only worth attention and popularity when you ignore that attraction is not a win either.

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If you want to talk about how a fanbase feels about a fictional woman, you need to stop acting like it's exclusively men who have ever (irrationally) hated any female characters. Erasing certain fans who create discourse does more harm than good.

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If you want animation to stop being seen as lesser by audiences and the larger entertainment industry or regarded as "just for (dumb) kids" like many celebrities or famous people have condescendingly said in the past, you have to stop acting sooo surprised when animation does many wondrous things in both the animated and writing department just because most of it is for kids. "I can't believe this cartoon for children tackles so many serious issues in such a well-written way for children! Did I also mention it's a cartoon for children?!" Yes. Because children aren't idiots. And just because something is for kids does not imply the overall quality, nor does it imply being bad or lesser by definition. Your welcome to be surprised when something animated surpasses many expectations, but saying or implying it would be more possible if it wasn't for kids is rarely needed. "Animation can't be worthwhile or worth real respect! It's for kids Lol!" is just as annoying as "It's amazing how this animated movie for children is so well written despite being written for children." If you want animation to earn more respect and stop being seen as a lesser children's thing, you need to let go of this stance.

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It's amusing how much of the same people who go on and on about how other fans can't handle "complex" female characters, not only actively act like there are ZERO pre-existing examples of said characters, also tend to have some very dumb reasons for not handling them either. "THEY RUINED (INSERT FICTIONAL WOMAN HERE)!" "Oh no! What happened? Did they forget all of her character development? Was she reduced down to a stereotype? Down to a bunch of tropes? Is she losing character agency as the plot goes on? Don't tell me she's blatantly being set up for a badly written death!" "It's worse than that! They're... giving her a male love interest*! How dare they give strong female character a (male) love interest!" *It's even more frustrating when she's just shown to have a crush or just finds a (male) character attractive, and fans still get worked up. Or other fans aren't allowed to ship her with male characters in non-canon works for very stereotypical and annoying reasons, such as being a "strong female character."

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Unpopular Opinion: It's pointless for to go on and on about bi men having a supposed "queer" taste in women, if you're going to not stand by that and then turn around, and praise straight men with a "queer" taste in women, acting like they're the only ones like that. No surprise, more bi men don't come out with all this dismissal and erasure. Which is not only hurtful towards bi men. You all complain and stereotype about how straight men in general lack any real preferences (in both fictional & real women) outside of societal beauty standards that the moment you come across men who are different in this regard, you think it's smart to act like only a select few are like this while others are straight-up liars worth stereotyping. For example: "Why can't more men be like (insert male celebrity/internet celebrity here)?" Or "Only this (insert male celebrity/internet celebrity here) has a 'queer' taste in women." Plenty are. You all just hate seeing your stereotypes not be as widespread as you think. Another example: "Why can't more men be like (insert male character here) when it comes to women?!" This also does nothing for questioning men. E.g. you don't need to be bi to find gnc people of the same gender attractive. Reinforcing stereotypes, one stereotype at a time.

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I fail to see what's oh-so-evil when someone points out how a fanbase loves a bi female character points out how fans are NEVER (oe rarely) allowed to ship her with male characters. Or if she never displays any attraction towards male characters and they want to keep that way. In both canon and fanworks, unless it's laced with contempt. And honestly? If it turns out there's more bi female characters, this happens to than male characters? By all means, bring it up and give the problem more attention. "I respect this (bi) female character unless no one acknowledges her attraction towards men," will never be a smart take.

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"This fictional woman is a 'strong female character' because we remind the audience that she's better than the male characters and all those icky men, every second!" is A LOT more prevalent than everyone who stubbornly believes most writers these days have flawed male characters peacefully coexist with flawless fictional women, with some kind of invisible barrier between the two. And I'm tired of fandoms acting like that's not the case. Male fans shouldn't have to put up with all these depictions that are poorly disguised insults and caricatures, especially when written by women who try to hide their bad writing under something that's not even that deep. It's just their contempt for others, in this men. And more fandom women should stop viewing flaws in a fictional woman as some kind of insult towards them. Otherwise, you're not gonna see many good female characters anytime soon, like you used to.

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It's really bonkers hearing a fandom claim: "More would ship this if it was between a male character and a female character!" When most fandoms make it pretty clear, they only care for certain ship dynamics when it's between two fictional men or two fictional women. Anytime it's not, it's all "problematic" or some other nonsense. Made even weirder when it's a popular pairing to begin with.

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"Gays are the only ones with good taste in m/f ships!" Those same "Gays": Why are these bisexual characters being shipped by other fans with characters of the opposite gender??? Bi erasure is not just from the biphobic straight fans.

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There's something amusing in watching fanbases prop up certain characters that are also given more attention by the creators that they and the creators get sooooo surprised when said character is the one keeping that attention, winning awards related to said character in award shows. Or other big things. If you didn't want them to be this popular, why did you give them said popularity? You put them on the same pedestal you claimed you never wanted them on. There's a cause & effect on all actions.

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"I CANNOT BELIEVE THE BIGOTRY THAT IS ALIVE AND WELL IN FANDOMS TODAY! ESPECIALLY FOR CANON!" ... All I said was I don't ship Sam & Frodo? You're always going to meet fans who don't ship the same things as you. Difference of opinion is everywhere.

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Love to one day come across a tumblr blog run by a bisexual here that doesn't go on and on about all men are worthless and deserve to die. And then some of them have the audacity to be so surprised more bisexuals aren't coming out.

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There really needs to be a term (unless there already is one) for when an older male character is close to and looks out for a younger one, but calling it a father son dynamic is a bit of a stretch to some fans who want to purely view it as a close friendship. Especially if the younger character still has a good (alive) dad. And when the older of the two realizes/remembers what it means to be a parent. Or wants to be one.

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Nothing screams apathy harder than everyone who goes, "ARE THE STRAIGHTS OKAY!?" everytime a post about a woman mistreating a man rolls around. It's even more annoying when it's a post that actually puts the man in a sympathetic light, and yet there are still those comments being made. Yet the opposite is often treated as no laughing matter. Double standards, am I right? Made only worse by the same people saying it's men's own fault that they're not believed to be victims of abuse or rape. Also. Way to erase abuse victims of same-sex relationships. Yes, there are examples of posts of fictional relationships where this happens (because we all know how fiction usually tackles women on men abuse), but this is about real people. Tackling the issue in real life will most likely lead to less of it happening in fiction.

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While I sincerely doubt there is a shortage of well-written m/f pairings in media, in regards to many badly written ones, I can't help but feel as though a big problem with the way they're written is right there yet it continues to be ignored. Whether purposefully or just naively. That problem? Most audiences and writers don't ask how men feel about said m/f pairings. Men are just written off as either being why the pairing sucks, not knowing what makes a good one and/or not the ones to turn to because they're men. Even though it's a pairing between a man & a woman. This also sucks because men are rarely given the chance to voice how they feel about how male characters are depicted in m/f pairings. Just put up and be silent, especially around all the "fictional men are better than real ones!" claims. If you're gonna let women voice their critiques, you might as well let it go both ways. Which is most likely also why female characters mistreating male characters get ignored or swept under the rug. They're a part of audiences and fandoms as well. Excluding them goes against the idea that fandoms are inclusive of everyone.

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I'm sure it's been said before, but it's just odd to me when a fanbase insists more fans would ship (insert same-sex pairing here) if one of them was the opposite gender. Which is rarely ever true when a fanbase (these days) makes it pretty clear they only care for certain relationship dynamics if it's between two men or two women. "Enemies to Lovers only works if it's between two women! Women can't hurt each other like how men hurt women!" "More would ship this if it was a straight pairing!" The pairing: (a shonen rivalry between two male characters) Yeah, that isn't happening. But as I said before, it is certain ship dynamics. The fans who make this assumption usually don't point towards the ones where more or the same amount of shippers would ship it. And it gets annoying when said pairing is already very popular inside a fanbase, yet the shippers not only can't accept when they're wrong about this assumption but can't accept only like roughly 30% of a fanbase not shipping it. Differences of opinion will always happen. That's part of being in fanbase.

March 2024:

I'm never going to take any fan who refuses to acknowledge or believe there are any women who hates female characters, seriously. You can't want to change how a fandom feels about a female character and purposefully ignore half of the fanbase.

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I never really cared much for the trope to begin with, but I just LOVE how "himbos" has lost all meaning in the last few years in a fandom. And boy is it annoying watching a fanbase still try to cling to it. At first, it was fans (mainly women) romanticizing about male characters who are simultaneously the dumbest, kindest, and most muscular men fiction had to offer. And, for some reason, that's what a woman should be encouraged to look for in real-life men as well. Because a man with a brain is a red flag, for some reason. Anyways, it wasn't bad in some cases. It just got WORSE when a fanbase insisted that it's the only kind of male characters to write. So, of course, fans started to call every male character they like a himbo, not caring about the fact many examples didn't meet the all criteria, making the term lose all meaning. As long as it was a kind male character they liked, than they just went with it and straight to stereotyping. "My favorite ship dynamic is girlboss x himbo!" The himbo they're referring to: *a kind unathletic male character of average intelligence* Which is horrible, considering how many smart male characters are made dumb in fandom content just to appease these fantasies. Taking canon characters and flanderizing them should never be encouraged. And even funnier when they question the lack of "himbo women" in fiction. How about not turning every fictional woman, uber compentent, and absent of flaws?

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Canon: This character's trauma is valid and not hard to see why they snapped. It still DOESN'T mean they're allowed to hurt whomever they want, especially innocents who had NOTHING to do with it. Pay attention to how some characters may lose sight of what really mattered and became as evil (or worse) as those who hurt them. Most Fandoms: Problematic. Cancel the story right now. They did nothing wrong. This is now the worst writing in existence. Trauma means everything they do now was right and justified. Whose to say every innocent person they harmed was REALLY innocent? How dare the writers victim blame!

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One of the weirdest and most backward things I've encountered about shipping is the number of shippers that just utterly HATE when certain ship dynamics or clichés are not only written one way. You can only write enemies to lovers when it's two men or two women. You can only write enemies to lovers if it's two characters who argue. You can only write friends to lovers if it's two men or two women, or not at all, otherwise you're romanticizing incest. You can only write a ship between a male character and a female character if the former is madly in love with the latter; the opposite or mutual is erasing a woman's agency. You can only write a "strong female character" if she never falls in love because love is a weakness for her. I can't relate to any fan or shipper who thinks that way. Especially with the number of potentially interesting stories and/or pairings that get erased because a fanbase is too caught up in playing it safe. Yet, you can argue that a lot of these examples aren't even playing it unsafe. The fanbase needs to change.

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I know fans are welcome to ship whatever they want but oh my god, it is so disappointing when a women in canon is attracted to men and next to NO ONE in the fandom wants to explore that in fanon or any fan works. A fictional woman is a "strong female character" until fans even just acknowledge she's attracted to men. Her attraction to men is seen as lesser and an antithesis towards being a strong character. Love is a weakness, in many contexts in their eyes. A bi woman is so loved by a fanbase that most of those fans will tell others to NEVER ship her with any of the male characters. Apparently, being bi means not being attracted towards men. Because a woman was abused by a man in canon, that means her attraction towards men goes poof and no one is allowed to put her within 5 feet of a man. Even though loads of abused women in real life say otherwise. And let's not forget when a fictional woman being attracted to men is seen as "romanticizing abuse" on the basis of being attracted to men.

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I'm still amazed by the fact I have to say, "If you want a fictional bi woman to become popular in a fanbase, you have to accept there will be fans who ship her with men," to entire fanbases. "But she has no chemistry with any of the men!" That's just your opinion. "But shipping her with men is romanticizing/normalizing abuse!" Go outside. "But the icky men get in the way of my cute wlw ship uwu!" None. Of. This. Is. Canon.

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It's really annoying in Fandom where people get mad at others for shipping a confirm Bi Character with a character of the opposite sex in the show, especially weird when its implied the bi m/f will not canon, its just a ship people know won't be canon but just like the ship.

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Fandom: "We support our Bi Kings and Queens in canon!!!" Fandom *People start shipping Bi characters in m/f ships* Fandom: "No!! why are shipping them together!"

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It's amazing (and very annoying) how many women in fiction from a few years or even decades ago would be viewed as "repressed lesbians" if the stories they starred in came out today. As opposed to audiences respecting the source material and stop viewing all the headcanons and non-canon shipping they do as canon. Or accusing writers who don't deserve it of being bigots. It's not a good thing that this is the case. It just goes to show how many people are chill with stereotypes when they're the ones doing it.

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There's some hilarious irony in watching the same people who go on about "normalizing gnc," throwing hands the moment they see anyone who is gnc is in a relationship with the opposite gender. In regards to both real people and fictional characters. Always halting the progress before it begins.

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"I can't believe the amount of sympathy the fanbase had for this character dropped, all because they attacked (or worse) whomever they wanted!" Good. A character's trauma can never be an excuse to hurt innocent people who had nothing to do with it.

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It's amazing when a bi woman is not ashamed of her attraction towards men in canon and maybe even open about said attraction, yet fanbases ignore it at every turn. Because most fandoms and most people in general can't conceptualize a bi woman not going on about how much she hates men or feels ashamed or wishes she wasn't or just makes fun of being attracted towards men; fans love to ignore that she is none of those things. And man, does all of this show in shipping circles. As seen in fanart and fanfics that make it looks like she hates being attracted towards men and ignores canon like the plague. Clearly, fanon is better (it's not). Or worse. They take a scene or line out of context to prove she is bi and hates men. Just be more accepting of it. It's not hard at all.

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People SERIOUSLY need to stop asking for Bi representation for a character if they’re just going to get mad when said character is in a relationship (or just shipped in general) with the opposite gender. Like, do you guys KNOW what Bisexuality means??? It’s not watered-down Homosexuality, it’s just as valid.

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"Misandry doesn't exist" What realm do you live in?

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It's interesting watching the same fans who call every fictional adult woman with breasts "sexualization!" based on just having them. Often calling for them to be flat chested immediately, when many of them will yell, "child-coded!" on the basis of that. And no doubt already have for pre-existing female characters.

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"I can't believe the audience preferred the flawed male character(s) OVER the perfect female character(s) who we blocked criticism of at every turn!" And? What else were you actually expecting? It's basic logic at play.

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"Why aren't there more women in fiction who snapped and became evil after losing the man they loved deeply and adored?" Y'all can barely handle when a woman is a "strong woman" and loves the male love interest she is with, often viewing it as her "losing all agency by the writers" or "she can't be a strong woman and with a man" on the basis of such. Is it any surprise that something this complex is avoided by writers, when fans get this unnecessarily worked up over something this simple? It should come as no surprise something as deep as this is avoided. Especially considering how much hate a fictional man gets for daring to be with a fictional woman and, considering how many hate the simple idea alone of her caring this much about a man. "WHY does she care so much for HIM!? HE'S A MAN!" I wish more or anyone would tackle this concept for a female antagonist as well, but some introspection is worth looking at. And biases that need to end now.

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I don't see why one should take discussions about "sexualization," of female characters seriously when the majority of those involved call flatchested (and/or short) women in fiction "pedophilia" or "child-coded" and simultaneously assume the creators are pervs. Made humorous when it's a woman doing the supposed "sexualization" and they still assume it's men, staying in denial. It really is blown out of proportion in many cases.

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"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS FANBASE ERASED THESE TWO BI WOMEN AS LESBIANS JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE WITH EACH OTHER! Bi erasure is horrible to see a fanbase embrace!" "Have you tried not erasing their attraction towards men? Or leaving fanfics that ship them with male characters alone? And stop acting like they either hate men, when they don't, or they're only good characters if they hate on men?" "NEVER! ALL MEN DESERVE TO DIE!" Seriously. Y'all want to avoid bi erasure so badly yet contribute to it yourselves and act so surprised that you are. Or are you well aware of this and want to end bi erasure but draw the line at liking men. No wonder a fictional woman takes a nosedive in terms of shipping the moment she's revealed to be bi.

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It's amazing how next to NO ONE actually stands by the stereotype of "you need to be bi to find (fictional) gnc men and/or (fictional) gnc women hot!" in execution. Only in theory. And yes. That stereotype does more harm than good. As most of them do. You don't need to be bi to find those kinds of people (or characters) attractive. There are plenty of straight women (for example) who find feminine men attractive. That's rarely ever a statement on their sexuality; only a statement if a lot of them realize they are attracted to women as well. It is interesting how, once again, most only stand by this in theory. Most of the time, they won't even assume bisexuality of other people while still stereotyping. E.g., "You need to be bi to find (insert character here) attractive!" (Later) "... Why do so many men find her attractive??? Can't they look at her and tell she's not for dumb straights!" Or assuming only certain men find gnc women attractive (and vice versa), and all of them in general are just creeps or fetishizers. It's really not hard to understand. Straight men are attracted to women. Straight women are attracted to men. It REALLY isn't hard to understand. And don't misunderstand me. This does hurt bisexuals because it's such a boxed in and stereotypical view. For example, a bi woman being with a man (or the opposite) who looks like an average person shouldn't receive so much anger. This is anything but progressive, and it's very telling how many so-called "progressives" believe it to be.

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Nothing is more telling than when a fanbase assumes a character is a victim of assault based on how "conventionally" attractive they are or aren't. Or when a character is in canon, but biases such as those prevent most fans from viewing it as canon. This is almost as bad as a character's gender affecting that stubborn view ("How is this character a victim? HE'S A MAN!")

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There's nothing like watching a bunch of people who aren't bi call actual bisexuals "straight" and spread biphobia onto them for the most petty reasons. (Not any better when it's other bisexuals by the way) Yes, there are bisexuals who don't need to headcanon the male and female characters in a pairing as bi in order to like said pairing. Yes, there are bisexuals who ship bi characters with characters of the opposite gender. Yes, there are bisexuals who are accepting of bi female characters and don't erase her attraction towards male characters. Yes, there are bisexuals who find (insert character here) attractive. Yes, even THAT character. Yes, there are bisexuals who headcanon THAT character as bi and enjoy the wide array of characters to ship them with. Both male and female. Yes, even the ones commonly headcanoned as gay. None of this deserves biphobia. Please be more mindful and nuanced of others.

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"I miss when there was no drama, no discourse, no ship wars, no morality contests and nothing negative going on in fandoms." Me, a Fandom Dinosaur: ... There was always negativity like this. It just got worse in certain areas when it shouldn't have. And as much as I hate to say it, ship wars are always going to be a thing because shippers exist in basically every fanbase, and not each of them avoid discourse. Some start it. Fandoms in recent years just felt the need to tag more "moral indicators" onto it for no reason and/or just made them more apparent and known to all fans (e.g., "If you ship this! You hate female abuse victims/all women!") There's nothing wrong with wishing things were better, but acting like there was never anything wrong forgets how long a lot of this has been around for and needs to end by now.

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When people only want to make a character “Bi” so they can be attracted to the same gender and then call YOU Homophobic when you ship them with the opposite gender. This is mostly annoying when said character is possibly Straight, because it seems like they’re just using Bisexaulity as a tool to have their precious gay ship and deem any wlm ship as “siblings”. These are the same people who will claim that “Bisexuality is just watered down Homosexuality”. How Biphobia/Bi-erasure can you get??? Doing shit like this, you’re is just making Bisexuality more invalid, which is terrible.

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"It is homophobia when male celebrities are disgusted over being shipped together and the fans are the ones being told to stop all their gross fantasies around their friendships! As celebrity men aren't allowed to say anything unless they want to be labeled as homophobes. And it's a good thing that we do call them that!" Go. Out. Side. Touch. Some. Grass. These are real life people you're being gross around. Save this for the characters they may play but please don't view that as "ship fuel" for what relationships they have outside of this.

April 2024:

It's possible to enjoy a close canon friendship between two characters and leave the fans who ship them alone. For example, for every "close m/f friendship," you love, there always will be fans who ship them, and just because you don't, doesn't mean they're not allowed to. There's no need to insist that no one can ship them or shout something unnecessary like, "Only boring people ship this!" Or "Why can't fans let men & women be friends!" (Way to nitpick) Differences of opinion should be embraced in a fandom.

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Me, joining Tumblr for the first time: Wow! So many fellow bisexuals! (5 minutes later) And they won't stop talking about how much they hate men, and the world is better off without them. Facing no consequences. Great (sarcasm). At least they're not surprised more aren't coming out while doing this... ... (further sarcasm)

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There is nothing more telling when the same fans who call a series, "so bad, it's good!" When it is legimately well-written and they actively ignore that for the most fussy reasosn. Even more when they are also (toxic) shippers. You'll lie about a work of fiction just because your ship isn't canon? Go outside.

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"Fandoms are meant to be escapist!" - Says the same blog that says all art is political regardless of how much people say it isn't.

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I love how all the "representation" in the last 10 or so years in media has just encouraged more people to watch older media and/or media from their childhood. Bad writing is bad writing, and no amount of "WE HAVE REPRESENTATION!" Is going to erase that. Which is funnier when older media has "representation" and so many people act like they didn't. They just understood better writing and not making it such a big deal. Or they acknowledge it to prop up something from today that either doesn't get it or defend the bad writing of another series. There's more "representation" and good writing in a season of Rugrats than most TV shows in the last few years.

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I'm just gonna say it out loud. If you want a fanbase to treat more fictional women with the same level of "shippability" as some of the male characters, you have to leave other fans be. And stop hating the simple idea of a female character who doesn't hate being attracted to men. Or acting like other fans shouldn't ship her with men. Yes, those fans won't always be the same person (some ship her with men, some with other women, some both, you get the idea), but I'm talking about the fandoms at large. No, it is not "romanticizing abuse" towards women when a female character is given a male love interest. No, a "strong female character" is not less of one for having a male love interest. No, a fan doesn't think less of her for shipping her with a man. That alone is not evidence. No, she doesn't lack chemistry with the male characters. That's subjective; also, fanfic writers often do more with them and often better. In addition, OCs exist. Even if the "all male characters have no chemistry with her (and/or are badly written)," was true, original male characters exist. You shouldn't judge OCs based on canon characters who fanfic writers did not make. If you want more fandoms to embrace the cringe (affectionate) of xOC pairings, that also applies to canon female characters x male ocs. All of this also applies to bi female characters. Yes, that means accepting if they don't hate being attracted to men in canon. Yes, that means accepting the fact that some fans do ship them with men. What do you think bi means? Yes, that means Many times, fans claim to "protect" a female character when they're clearly doing the opposite. And hurting many fans in the process.

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A character being mean doesn't instantly translate to being morally gray. It's not always an indicator of their morals. Oftentimes, just a part of who they are.

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Bisexual blog: *exists* Me, who is also bi: "Cool! I can't wait to see it mys-" That same blog: *keeps going on about how all men must die like it's a good thing, wishes death on all men, says being attracted to men is disgusting and horrible, makes rude & biphobic comments about anyone who isn't ashamed to be attracted to men, says being bisexual is "half-failed" when attracted to men; "half-success" when attracted to women* Also, that same blog: *claims to be accepting of all bisexuals here and still spreads positivity* Me: "Don't know what I was expecting. This isn't the first blog where this has happened. And they wonder why so many stay in the closet..."

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"We need more bi characters because they help more bisexuals to come out! Representation matters!" They scream before treating real people as fictional characters and fictional characters as real people. Bullying all around and forcing more to stay in the closet. "Why is this bisexual character being shipped with the opposite gender? Damn straights." "Why are you shipping this bi female character with men?! ONLY DUMB STRAIGHTS DO THAT!" "I don't trust fans who ship (insert bisexual character here) with characters of the opposite gender! They must be straight!" And many more.

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Full offense, but as someone who is bi, I can't stand the insistence that every "good" ship between a male and female character needs to be headcanoned as bi in order for you to like it. You are not going to die liking a pairing between two straight characters. Especially when much of the same fans who do this have such a stingy relationship with canon bi characters. No, it is not romanticizing abuse towards women when some fans ship a bi female character with a male character. Also, how hypocritical. You will headcanon every pairing between a male and female character as being two bisexuals in disguise, all because you see being straight as something inherently toxic, but fans aren't allowed to ship canon bi characters with anyone they want? The insecurity speaks for itself.

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Calling enemies-to-lovers "romanticizing abuse" makes about as much sense as calling friends-to-lovers "romanticizing incest" and it's time fandoms start to retire those retorts. It's been around for WAY too long.

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I hate how normalized and casual it is to treat the men in fandoms like crap. "Men are not allowed to like (insert series here)!" "Only men ship this horrible m/f pairing!" "Men are not allowed to draw (insert fictional woman here)! Only women can like her!" "Men are not allowed to like (fictional woman here)!" "All male shippers do is imagine themselves as the men in m/f pairings to take advantage of (insert fictional woman here)!" "FORBID MEN FROM DRAWING (fanart)!" "BAN MEN FROM WRITING (fanfiction)!" "Keep this fandom men free!" "This male character is better than every man alive!" "All male fans are incel, neo-nazi, overweight, neckbeard, perverted manbabies!" "Why are other women coming to the defense of male fans? THEY'RE MEN!" And no doubt many more. Fandoms should be accepting of everyone, and that means everyone.

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I love how it's always, "respect all female characters!" Until it's one, a fanbase can't project their hatred of men onto.

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"If this show was made today, the evil side would condemn it for being too woke!" And you all would call all the flatchested female characters "children-coded" and accuse the creators of being perverts. Or accuse the creators of "romanticizing abuse towards women" because they gave a female character a male love interest. Or accuse other fans of being pedophiles because they ship a pairing you don't like. Whichever comes first. :)

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I hate when a fictional woman is given many options of both male and female characters to ship her with, but the fanbase can't help but reduce all the male characters to boring and uninteresting options for her that only the dullest of people ship her with male characters, (Or worse; assume abuse is wished on her, just on the basis of fans shipping her with male characters) And then the fans who do this discourse have the audacity to question why she's so untouched in the world of shipping and overall ship content. Stop projecting for one minute.

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Just because you view every pair of male and female characters as siblings does NOT mean no one is allowed to ship them, nor are the fans "romanticizing" incest. A difference of opinion should always be embraced in a fanbase. No matter how hard you try, it's going to be there.

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It's funny to me how watered down to nonsense some things are in a fandom, because so many fans lack nuance and expect to be praised for the lack of such. "THIS EVIL MALE CHARACTER IS A RAGING SEXIST!" The male character in question: *teases both men and women they are friends with* Which is funnier when the opposite is seen praiseworthy and "let's welcome our man-hating queen!" just because fans purposefully don't get a woman playfully teasing her male friends. Funniest when the fans who do this get so shocked if she ends with a man down the line. Your only evidence was misinterpreting teasing and banter? Weak.

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I hate it whenever there's a post on Tumblr about men being able to defend themselves from abusive women, the notes either feel the need to make it gender neutral (where's that when posts purposefully stereotype abuse as purely man on woman? Double standards), defend the women who mistreat innocent men, or say neither side should be hitting one another. In regard to the last one, first off, stay on topic. It's hit "back" for a reason. And you know that. Stop being ignorant. Secondly, I love how no one treats abusive men the same. They see them as unreasonable abusers who won't listen to words and need to be dealt with immediately. While abusive women are so complex and just need to be talked to in order to stop. I'm sure they didn't mean it! Thanks for the double standards. I know who not to call when a man is abused by a woman. Third, stop defending abusive women. Men have every right to defend themselves as much as every other abuse victim.

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One of the most interesting (yet often annoying) things to see happen in a fanbase is assumptions on how a character reacts to crushes on them. Two things: most crushes are one-sided, AND it's not always a universal indication of a character's sexuality. Maybe a male character rejects a female character because he is attracted to men, OR they are attracted to women; this one they are either not into, only see as a friend, or has little regard for their personal space and/or can't take no for answer. Opposite is also true. Yes, this fictional woman fell for another male character after rejecting one they're not into; pay attention to why. Don't even get me started on all the bi erasure that comes with all this assuming. Most fans either assume gay or straight. Nothing else. No, this canon bi woman (for example) rejecting 1 male character doesn't mean they're bi and hate men or gay and hate men; they're not attracted to this one in particular. Not every character who rejects a character of the opposite gender is telling the audience they're not straight. Many times, they just don't share the same feelings as another character, who just so happens to be of the opposite gender.

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"None of the anti m/f shipping discourse hate on the male characters in those pairings!" Y'all assume the writers are romanticizing abuse towards women, just for giving a (strong) fictional woman a male love interest. Or the creators, who are male, are clearly projecting onto the men in these pairings. Or the male fans who are fans of these pairings just have some gross "power fantasy" with the women in them, over genuinely liking said pairings. Or go on about how the women in these pairings "deserve better" than this. Or just hate certain male characters on sight. Only confronting half the problem helps no one.

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I really can't stand how bisexuals (both real AND fictional) are treated as some kind of political stance to support very flawed and idiotic views. "ALL BISEXUALS are sexually attracted to men, so men (who DO NOT deserve it) know what it feels like to have evil sexual attraction towards them! AND romantically attracted to women because they're the fairer sex who don't feel evil sexual attraction and are the only ones who experience romance!" Way to keep more people in the closet by being this boxed in.

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A fandom's inability to acknowledge all the women in it who hate certain female characters is just plain stupid. And will only halt them from being more popular. Assuming all the women in a fanbase loves each female character on the basis of just being a woman, erases all the haters. If you want a character to be popular in a fanbase, you have to call out all haters. Both the men AND women. And differentiate between the haters and fans who just don't like them. Not everyone who doesn't like them is a hater or a raging sexist. It's just their opinion.

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"Everyone who has ever asked why two characters can't stay friends, are CLEARLY homophobes!" My sister kicked into Hell, you look at every pairing between a male and female character asking why they can't stay friends, while praising those same tropes put on same sex pairings. This isn't a bigoted problem. It's a difference of opinion from fans that certain fans don't want to accept, often out of ego.

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It's amazing how simple the lesson of "this character's trauma is not an excuse for them to hurt whomever they want; especially innocents who had nothing to do with said trauma," is so despised by audiences these days. This is what separates the "heroes" from the actual heroes in a work of fiction. Yes. A character is not a "hero" if they hurt whomever they please, as opposed to those who wronged them, and view it as justified. What else were you expecting?

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I hate when bisexuals are treated as some kind of unarguable or "you must agree with this, or else!" view in fandoms. "All bisexuals only feel sexual attraction towards male characters and men! Now, men know what it feels like! No man alive provides romantic relationships!" "All bisexuals only feel romantic attraction towards women and female characters! Women are the pure, fairer sex! Everyone who feels sexual attraction towards women is a damn freak! No one finds 'sexy' women in fiction attractive!" It's funny how much of this same stance comes from the same people who call fictional women "child-coded" on very empty reasons.

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Just because a problem in a fanbase got worse as of late, does not mean it came out of thin air. For example; shippers who believe shipping will lead to their ship being canon. And getting angry when it does not. This has been around for awhile. It's just dragged in more toxicity in recent years. And questionable viewpoints ("You can't ship them with Character B! It romanticizes abuse! The ship with Character A is the healthier pairing!"). It's important to know how old a lot of these problems are.

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When a bi female character has a wide selection of both men and women to ship her with; I hate when the fanbase decides all the male characters you can ship her with are all the "boring" or "lukewarm" or "only lame straights ship her with men" ones. Or her attraction towards men is seen as lesser and "it doesn't count" in the eyes of an entire fandom. Or giving her a male love interest is seen as "romanticizing abuse" by these same fans. And then the fanbase has the audacity to question why she's barely used in shipping while doing all of this.

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Everyone hates corporations until some of them make a huge "men bad" comment. How easily swayed a lot of you are.

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"I can't believe more bisexuals won't come out!" - Said the same Tumblr Blogs who won't stop talking about how horrible and disgusting it is to be bisexual and attracted to men. "No bisexual is actually, happily attracted to yucky men! If they are, something is wrong with them!" You are the ones keeping more in the closet.

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It's astounding how many fandoms get so angry seeing the ship of bi female characters often involve shipping them with male characters. Like, yeah? What else were you expecting? If you want fictional bi women to be popular in fandoms, that means letting fans actually embrace the "bi" part of them. You can't say, "I want (insert bi female characters here) to be used more by fans!" And then get worked up that some of them put them with male and female characters. Also, don't act so surprised or mad if these fandoms avoid as much as looking at her or others. You forced fans into not wanting to touch them unless they abide by strict guidelines, or else. Putting limits on other fans will only limit fancontent and thus, how often you'll see her in said fancontent. Shipping bi characters gets enough toxicity as is. Avoiding this should be necessary.

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The amount of FEAR a fanbase has for a strong woman potentially ending up with a man is just plain pathetic. Made even more pathetic when shippers are afraid to ship her with male characters due to how widespread the negativity is. "You can't be a strong female character and have a male love interest!" Go. Outside. Love is not a weakness.

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"Finding a female character hot means you DO NOT respect her as a character! You can't admire her as a well-written character AND find her physically attractive!" Go Outside.

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"It's so EVIL when you KNOW a character is BISEXUAL but the writers don't!" "Does that mean the fanbase is gonna leave fans who ship them with characters of the opposite gender alone?" "NEVER!"

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It's amazing how many fandoms answer their own questions, yet remain so unnecessarily confused like the answer isn't right before them. "This character/show was made for bisexuals!" A few seconds later. "WHY ARE MEN HERE!?!" Take a wild guess.

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"Back in my day, we NEVER shipped with the hopes our ships became canon, and we NEVER got any ship wars." I hate to break to you, but this was always a thing. Ship wars did not just pop into thin air a few years ago, and doing so erases how long this has been an issue.

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Would be nice to have more kind male characters in modern media who aren't also dumb idiots.

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While there's nothing fundamentally wrong with having this kind of headcanon, it really grinds my gears when the majority headcanon in a fandom between two unrelated grown ass adult men is a father/son relationship, just because one is a mentor to or just older than the other. It especially grinds my gears when I'm considered "weird" for enjoying them as a ship.

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I find it very frustrating in one of the fandoms I'm in how there are people who are like "it's ridiculous that there are people who think these two male characters have a father/son or master/student relationship, the way they interact and speak to each other is not how people in the culture the series is from would behave if they had that relationship' like I'm from that culture and they are absolutly right, in my culture you would not speak so casually to a parental or teacher figure. however the thing that bothers me is that most of the people bringing it up insist that since they relationship can't be father/son or student/teacher, then obviously the only option is lovers. And they act like anyone who thinks the relationship could be platonic is a total idiot and disrespecting the culture. But the thing is that while yes, the way the characters address each other is a way that lovers might, it's also a way close friends or siblings might. There are multiple options for what their relationship is besides father/son and student/teacher that could be the case. But they totally disregard that and treat people horribly for not bending over and agreeing that their ship being canon is the only possible option. Like can you not fucking ship your ship without trying to stop other people from interpreting things differently

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A lot of fandoms these days are full of fans who are under the impression that there is clearly "something wrong" with other fans who wishes there was less "politics" in media and most media these days focused more on quality over politics being brought up. When they are the ones who are in the wrong. First off, most turn to fiction for escapism. They rarely want to connect what they're doing for fun to current events in the world. Secondly, that dates media fast and I mean FAST. Making EVERY. SINGLE. Movie, TV show, cartoon, video game, etc, also be about the current politics and events in the world is gonna leave audiences with less reason to care about it years later, when those same current events become a thing of the past. Thirdly, no. Just no. The examples you bring up of older media pulling off "political" themes in fiction were most likely not entirely political to begin with. Or political at all. And even if some of them were, as I'm sure many examples have crossed your mind by now, that was less of the focus and more focus on the themes themselves. Plus, they most likely wrote it with more talent than most writers these days, who are waiting on fans to defend it for reasons that have little or anything to do with writing quality. In addition, that LIMITS the kinds of stories writers are trying to tell to audiences and fans. "Freedom" for example, cannot be a purely a political theme when writers can do so much more with it. Lastly, all of this applies to fandoms. If the fans don't want to talk about politics 24/7 with people who make wrongful assumptions about others and focus elsewhere: Good. For. Them.

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I really can't stand when the "we need fiction to teach important lessons" is made biased and selective by fans. "I hate how they removed this one male character being sexist for 3 episodes because we need to teach little boys that they're all born fat, misogynistic, rapist, incels who deserve to die and can retain some decency!" "Are you gonna recognize the importance of the same lesson when writers say it's wrong for a woman to hate every single man? It can go both ways." "NEVER!"

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"This male character barely, if ever CRIES at ALL! THAT MEANS! HE'S A HEARTLESS JERK and MUCH more evil than the antagonist(s)! AND the writers are CLEARLY saying men aren't allowed to cry!" The male character in question: *kind, looks out his friends and loved ones, compassionate, enjoys making other people happy, sympathetic for others who have been hurt and still expresses a wide range of emotions* As it turns out, crying is NOT the only way to express one's emotions and writing off characters, male in this case, as being a heartless person for the lack of it is ridiculous. I hope no one who does, this treats the real-life men their friends with like this. This mentality is too close-minded for its own good.

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Common pet peeve; fans calling something plot armour when it isn't.

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May 2024:

One of the problems with, "bring back [more] canon x OC!" is not tackling how many fandoms live in pure FEAR of other fans shipping canon female characters with male OCs. Made more frustrating when some of the canon female characters in question are bi. If you rightfully hate the opposite, this shouldn't get a free pass. You can't want certain characters to be used more in fancontent and not stand by that want.

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It's pointless to go around saying, "Fandoms are a safe space for everyone!" if you're going turn to around and write off all the male fans as a bunch of degenerates.

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The worse piece of "criticism" for "The Simpsons," is how it's "so great" that Lisa went from feeling like an actual kid in older episodes, to just being a mouthpiece for whatever the current issue in the world is. And that piece of "criticism" should be taken into account for anyone who writes children characters. Not making them feel like children is bad writing.

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Media illiteracy is astounding, and I hate how well-written stories have stereotypes and projection forced on them, all because the audience can't enjoy what's there and feels the need to replace it.

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I'm not sorry, but I can't vibe with any fans who insist ALL m/f ship dynamics and relationship tropes only work one way and ONE WAY alone. Made more annoying by all the double standards that follow. "This harmless thing is romanticizing abuse towards women!" They scream before shipping it when the dynamic is reversed. How telling. Not only that, but all they're doing is limiting creativity in shipping and character pairings. Both in fan-content and official content.

A woman who is deeply and madly in love the man she's with, can be just as interesting as the opposite.

A woman who wants to burn the world after losing the pure-hearted man she loved can be as intriguing as the opposite.

Pathetic female characters can be potential love interests of male characters, not just the opposite.

A grumpy female character with a kindhearted male character can be as cute as the opposite.

There's bound to be more. And I wish more fandoms understood all of this. And I hope they do.

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There is no bigger slap in the face on Tumblr than coming across a bisexual blog, and it's full of posts about how being attracted to men is horrible, and everyone attracted to them are disgusting.

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It's so odd to me when a fanbase acts like you can't like two characters at the same time, all because of the contrast they share in canon. Or one made by them. e.g., "They're both in-love with the MC (or potential love interests for said MC), how can you be fans of BOTH of them?" Chances are, they have identities and character outside of this. Or some of us are fine with either pairing happening. Or we're multishippers. And fans don't really care either way. Not every fan who likes Character A views that as some kind of intended attack on Character B. This is made even more nonsensical when the contrast between both characters is a major part of both characters. And we as fans are supposed to pay attention to said contrast, since it was written by the writers into them and for us to notice.

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"If these two characters were not of the same gender, you would ship them!" No. I most likely wouldn't. Why? 99% of the time, I ship based on tropes and ship dynamics. Changing the genders of the characters won't erase how "meh," I feel about pairings I don't find too interesting. A boring fictional pairing between a man and a woman is just as boring as a pairing between two men or two women. This is amusing when this same accusation is often made by the same people who refuse to ship certain pairings unless both characters are the same gender. And insist that everyone who doesn't ship the same as them are bigots. No. A lot of the time, fans just like or hate ships regardless. No biases present.

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The hypocrisy of a fanbase to say, "Looks aren't everything!" Then immediately turn around and go on and on about how ugly an unconventionally attractive actor is. With the occasional comment on no one having (insert facial feature here) being an attractive or a good person. With more comments about how no one finds him attractive and everyone who finds him attractive is a gross person.

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"I cannot believe even after everything this male character has done for the woman he's with and madly in love with, the fandom still writes him off as just some jerk!" Because he's a man. Who cares if he has a bunch of positive traits? The fanbase won't care. It doesn't endear him in their eyes. Once a hated male character, always a hated male character. Especially if they would rather see her with a woman and don't see what the issue is in resorting to actively lying about him. Or accepting other fans who do like shipping her with him.

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Not everyone who says "This character deserved better," is talking about them in the context of how they were written. Some are. Some are talking about the life they lived in canon. As we see with tragic characters. Context matters.

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I'm never going to feel bad for fandoms that lack the ability to acknowledge women who hate female characters. You can't keep the attention exclusively on toxic men and be surprised by the lack of progress you play a part in halting. "This female character is a bad role model for young girls!" is often said by fandom women. Amongst others. I fail to see the appeal in letting them off the hook.

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I'm never going to be a fan of the assumption that every straight man is a bi man who is too much of an insecure jerk to come out ("They put themselves in the closet! Those privileged morons!"), hence why we need more representation in media. Or all straight men will come out as bi and become the "safe" group to be around. Focus on good writing, and drop this view.

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I can't stand terfs or radfems as much as the next person, but the assumption a woman needs to be one or become one in order to be a toxic woman (both in and out of fanbases) is downright infantilizing. No one says you need to be in PETA in order to hate animals. This toxicity is based on choice.

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"THIS IS ALL A DUMB POWER FANTASY!" My sister dropkicked in Limbo, anything, and I mean ANYTHING, can be a power fantasy. It's not just a male character having a bunch of women faun over him (or the opposite), it can be anything big or small. Limiting it to purely romantic fantasies limits the term.

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"This conventionally attractive actor is playing a conventionally attractive fictional male character who has a couple of scars. They have a lot of fangirls! THAT MEANS NO MAN ALIVE HAS EVER BEEN BODYSHAMED (by a woman)! And any man who has deserved it! Or those incels are lying! All because this male character exists!" This is a major reason as to why fighting bodyshaming and a lot of "body positivity" have largely failed. A lack of empathy for certain people. And outright dismissal fueled by a lack of logic. In addition to how some people enjoy this level of apathy and power over others. This doesn't diminish individual experiences. This just creates more.

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I can't stand the "All fandoms must be women (and gay men) only!" mentality. Look. It's bad enough that male fans (with little regard for teen ones) are written off as incels and creeps for as much as being in a fanbase, but all the memes and jokes are pointless, and only creates more division. Not only is it antithetical to the idea that fandoms are inherently welcoming of all people, regardless of who they are, but it's present in so many fanbase circles and hurts so many innocent people. All for getting back at those so-called gross men; the nuance is NOT present. As we see with fanartists. "CLEARLY! The artist who drew this is an icky male! No real woman draws like this!" "... I'm the woman who drew this." "LIAR/GET OVER YOUR INTERNALIZED SEXISM!" Or with fictional characters. You're not a clever person for reminding men how disgusting they are for finding a fictional woman attractive. Nor are you funny for making "leaves you for a woman!" jokes about female characters towards male fans. Which is ironic, when a fanbase applies this nonsense to a fictional bi woman. How progressive. Seriously, none of this is acceptable and fandoms don't gain anything from treating the average male fan like $hit. For both all the bigger reasons here and the fact bullying is plain wrong. It will never be justifiable.

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Everyone who acts like the anti-anime sentiment that's been present for many years is not fuelled by sexism in any way, shape or form, is making the issue go for much longer than it needs to be. And chances are, many who do this hate the fact they can't be sexist in peace. Of course most haters who go on about how inherently degenerative all anime and animation from Japan is, feels the need to remind you that it's the fault of men who live there and make those series to begin with. Why would any haters care about the fact they might be racist? They're attacking "icky" men and placing themselves as some kind of moral good, protecting you from them. "We're doing this for the right thing!" And any men who doesn't make a series "like that" (grow. up.) are just rare exceptions. As we see with all the unfunny Miyazaki jokes. This is also present in how most perceive women there who work on and/or create anime. The constant assumption that no woman "would make a series like that," is not as progressive as you think it is and is backwards as heck. In addition, praise them for their talent and not the fact they only made something worthwhile because they are women. It erases the years of talent they put into what they made. And it's not progressive to act like there are only a select few women who are actually good at making an anime, while the others suffer from internalized sexism or are not "real" women. Or secretly gross men in disguise. None of this is proper criticism. Treating women or men as a monolith is never going to be progressive. Once again, to act like it's not fuelled by sexism is ignoring an entire part of the larger problem.

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Whenever a franchise is going to get a new installment or addition that is bound to fail based on many clear bad factors already present, it's amazing how all the creators have to do is just say something "woke" to drag in a bunch of defenders who won't even consume the product to begin with. Or many of those defenders do openly admit to either not being apart of the audience or even a fan to begin with, yet still feel the need to be here and write off all legitimate criticism as bullying of the creators. Like, all you're doing is making things worse and defending something destined to fail. I miss the days when a creator didn't have to fund very questionable charities and/or be exposed as a bigot of some kind, in order to not defend what they're going to make. Empty excuses for something badly made is not any better.

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I'm never going to pity a fandom's inability to acknowledge women who hate female characters.

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You have little room to talk if you wish more fans would acknowledge bi women in canon as being attracted to women AND men, if all you ever do is go on about how much these characters hate being attracted to men in canon and how disgusting it is. I see it all the time. Fans adding to stereotypes they claim to hate.

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I always hold in a big laugh, whenever someone says the biggest problem with how most fandoms treat m/f pairings is taking a canon pairing and making it into one where a woman "MoThErS" a male character. My brothers and sisters kicked into purgatory, this level of flanderization and obsessive need to take an m/f pairing and make it into what it is not, would not receive so many fans if that were the case. This is NOT the dynamic present. The actual problem is not only a fanbase making canon pairings very OOC, but it's making it into one where a woman is stripped of all her flaws and the man she is with only exists to be a pathetic cheerleader, as opposed to an actual character. In other words, fandoms refuse to believe that a woman in a piece of fiction can be a good character AND be with a man that compliments her flaws and strengths as much as she does with him. This is not any better than saying a fictional woman is too good or too much of a "strong female character" to be in love. This is just that under a different coat of paint. It's also very alienating in certain circles, when all a fanbase wants to do is go on about her fanon version, writes off all her canon flaws as sexism and views acknowledging how she treats her partner instead of the just how he treats her, also as sexism. The alienation also applies to how fans who actually like the canon pairing and not the fanon version that is almost unrecognizable in comparison. In addition, this level of hyper-fixating on how he treats her instead of looking at how they treat each other makes it feel like less of a relationship and more of a dull power fantasy disguised as one. I see what other fans mean when they say, "sometimes, fandom is worse."

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"I hate stereotypes." Much of those same fans: "This fictional woman is gnc/tomboy-ish. That means no one is allowed to ship her with fictional men." "This fictional woman is bi. That means no is allowed to ship her with fictional men." "This fictional woman is muscular. That means no one is allowed to ship her with fictional men." "This fictional man is effeminate. That means no one is allowed to ship him with fictional women." "This fictional woman has a mean side. That means no is allowed to ship her with fictional men." I love how hypocritical many fans are, and then are in denial they're the ones creating so much division.

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Unpopular opinion: I'm often disappointed in the lack of male oc X canon female character pairings and related fancontent in fandoms these days. Especially in regard to all this talk of bringing back canon x OC pairings. I know this won't seem like much to most who read this, but it's a bit sad when a woman in a piece of fiction has attraction to men, yet a fanbase has little or no real interest in exploring this part of her character. Mainly when you look at many of the reasons given. Such as. . . Many fandoms refuse to believe a woman can be a "strong female character," and attracted to men at the same time, looking down on that part of her character, refusing to view any pairings with male (original) characters as interesting, or outright ignoring said attraction. And then there's when we get around to canon bi female characters. Oh, when we get around to there. Yes, letting a fandom have fun with bi female characters in shipping means leaving any who ships them with male (original) characters be. They're bi. It's not that shocking. I also see this similarly with female antagonists. Both in comparison to male antagonist x female ocs or not. Look. It's great hearing how many fans and fandoms want to see more canon x OC pairings, both for bringing them back, and for helping fight back against this being "cringe" when fun to should be the focus in a fandom. And I'm in full support of that. Along with encouraging others to do that themselves. I just wish this was brought up more.

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unpopular opinion: I really cannot stand the recurring fandom takes on a fictional bi women's attraction towards men (and women). It's so annoying, when a fandom pats itself on the back for being so accepting of bi female characters in a very narrow way. Bi female characters must either hate being attracted to male characters, make fun of it every two minutes, or experience it with such a low opinion. Bi women in fiction are rarely allowed to just like the fact they're attracted to men in fanon; a fanbase can't be normal or accepting of that fact. And fans who are accepting of said character's attraction to men and women equally, are bullied or ignored for not following this mindset. In addition, it sucks when this is applied to ship dynamics and shipping in general. I'm sorry, but I don't see the appeal of every pairing involving bi female characters with male characters only being with pathetic male characters. Whether it's actual ones or flanderized canon male characters. This trope is commonly in comparison with female characters who are often allowed to be actual characters when paired with bi female characters. Which sucks when fans who don't portray that attraction to women in a "pure" way are looked at differently. Or bullied. All this stereotyping is not worth it.

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It's always been so odd to me, whenever a fan acts like there aren't any male characters demonized in shipping, when there are plenty of examples and trends to go off of. It would not surprise me if some fans who act like this are aware of said hatred; they want it to stay. For example, some male characters are often called incels or "nice guys" just for being awkward or shy around a woman they're crushing on, when that is not what either of those terms mean or refer to. Or all interactions they have with a female character are seen as trying to get with her and/or force a relationship with her. Because apparently they're not friends in canon and there's no ulterior motive present. (Or them along with many other male characters are written off as incels just on the basis of being there) And this view is commonly heightened if the female character in question that they crush on is either too much of a "strong female character," to be with a man or she's popularly shipped with another fictional woman. That latter especially. Demonizing other characters in shipping will never be a good thing. It doesn't help when no one seems to want to fight back against this view. By not fighting against it, this treatment tends to leak outside of shipping. The same contempt for male characters here is present outside. Hating a character for traits they don't hold is not any better. Ship and let ship should be the main focus. Not this.

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If you want being gnc to be normalized so badly, that means accepting and acknowledging "Le Evil Straights" in this discussion. To elaborate, there will not only be plenty of people who will be gnc and straight, but also plenty of people who are into said gnc people who are straight themselves. Not every woman into gnc men will come out as bi. Not every man into gnc women will come out as bi. The same applies to fictional characters. For both fans of said gnc characters and for fictional relationships those characters enter. And with shipping. It shouldn't surprise you to see gender nonconforming characters being shipped with the opposite gender. Don't even get me started on phrases like "this man has a lesbian's taste in women," being tossed around. Stop stereotyping. Some may realize they are bi, but expecting it to happen for each one is weird. And very gross and invasive. Also, this is not doing any favors for anyone questioning their sexuality. Stereotypes are not a step in the right direction. And it's interesting of me to say that when some who believe in this stereotype don't stand by it afterward. In other words, it's interesting how many people will say you need to be bi in order to be into gnc men & women, only to turn around and act like bisexuals don't exist. "You need to be bi in order to be into (insert gnc character here)!" (LATER) "This proves you were straight all along!" Once again, stereotypes are not a step in the right direction.

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I hate how the phrase "gay people have great taste in m/f ships" ignores biphobic gay fans in fandoms and shipping. It's not good when those same fans with "great taste" in m/f ships are also biphobic. Nor is it any better to listen to their alone opinions when it comes to m/f ships. Or worse. Which ones to ship and/or are good ships. It's all opinions.

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"I've met/know people who don't act like the ones you mentioned therefore it NEVER happens and what you said NEVER happened." Your (fandom) experiences do not mean someone else's never happened. Stop being this dismissive.

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Yeah, as a bisexual I CAN'T relate to only finding (fictional) women attractive because they're all goddesses that walk this Earth while men are weird bugs (affectionate). Sounds like yet another box to be forced into. And the assumption everyone who doesn't think like this not-so secretly hates women. Get a hobby. Which is funny of me to say, whenever someone says they're only into "weird-looking men" and the men or male characters in question are all conventionally attractive men that either smile a lot or just give off "weird" vibes. Especially attractive actors for some reason. Average man, who? I see a lot of denial.

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The lack of kind female characters in today's media is disappointing. Made more disappointing in how it's great that more fans understand that kind characters and kindness aren't boring; yet that is rarely extended over to fictional women. This also extends to when fans believe making a preexisting female character only mean makes them a good character. Being kind and/or driven by kindness is not a weakness for female characters who embody said traits.

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I'm happy to hear more and more fandoms and audiences these days are starting to get that a kind character is not inherently boring, and there are plenty of worthwhile kind characters in fiction. I'm not against edgy characters or characters in general with a "dark side" to them, but it's great to hear that not only are more growing tired or bored of the badly written ones, but ask themselves this: should a character having kindness as a big part of who they are be a barrier to being a fan of them? And more answer no. It should not. It never will.

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Many fandoms either deify female characters (strip them of all flaws) or infantilize them for very empty reasons (child-coding is one of the worse things to happen to fandom) or both, than act so surprised those same female characters are largely left behind by the same fans they force these views on. Made worse when much of those female characters are loved, but they believe everyone else must love them for aforementioned reasons, or else. The fans who treat these female characters as whole characters and as fictional people with flaws? Sexists. The fans that understand a woman in a piece of fiction does not need to fight to be a good character and loves her all the same? Misogynists. The fans who don't infantilize or deify them? How dare they hate women. The women who don't join in on all of this? Suffering from internalized misogyny. It's amazing how it's viewed as respecting (fictional) women to infantilize them or put them on a pedestal.

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Not every character in fiction who is against killing is a morally gray character. That's too broad and often not applicable to many of the examples people give of a "morally gray character" who isn't one.

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How interesting that the "ALL MEDIA IS POLITICAL!" Fans tend not to be in support of any anti-communist messages or themes in said media. Or put any to begin with. Either identical, half-baked political messages or subtext inserted by the fans that narrows down to their own interpretation. I wonder if there's any coincidence.

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Stop calling men “porn addicts” or “gooners” for liking attractive fictional women. Especially since some of you have a whole bunch of porn of your favorite male characters and some of you sexualize them way worse than a man sexualizing a female character. Porn addiction is a serious addiction like every addiction. Stop reducing it into an insult as a “gotcha” towards men because you hate men because of your one terrible experience with them. Stop letting your confirmation bias determine your opinions towards all men in fandoms. And gooner is not the insult you think it is. Might as well tell a man to edge himself to his favorite female character. He won’t see it as an insult. He’ll see it as a command. Jokes aside though, sexism in fandom generally is a huge issue. It’s not just misogyny that is an issue in fandom. It’s also misandry. You guys can’t be crying about sexism in fandom meanwhile you treat men like they’re subhuman and like they’re objects.

[emotionalhottiee]

You’re my little secret 💋.

Part 1

(inspired by “My little Secret” by Xscape (kind of).

Warning: 18+ (This content may include explicit material).

DISCLAIMER: This oneshot is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise stated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events in this fanfic are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner.

Jey Uso x Ashleigh (OC)

It’s not really a secret, it’s just nobody’s business.

Being a woman, working in the nightclub scene isn’t for the weak. Yes of course the tips are amazing, but the men you have to deal with on a daily basis will make you homicidal. From the stingy motherfuckas that order one bottle for 20 plus people. To the ones who don’t tip (honestly they’re the worst).To the creepy ass men who think that just because you work in a strip club that you are dying for any type of attention from them. To the ones that think you’re supposed to want to sleep with them, because they have “money”. Those are the type of men i wish i never had to interact with, but this is the job I choose so it comes with the territory. Now I don’t know how most clubs work, but here at Queen of Diamonds in Atlanta I don’t have to worry about any of that because I have my uces. My incredibly buff Samoan bouncers/ Top flight security of the world aka my personal body guards; Joshua & Jon, my twinsies. They were here long before I started bartending here. But ever since I’ve been working here, they have been my lifesavers on more than one occasion. I love those boys…one maybe a little more than the other ;).

“What’s up Sis” I heard from the other side of the empty club. Recognizing that damn voice from anywhere, “wazzup JonJon” i hollered back. Followed by laughter seeing Jon’s face scrunched up at the nickname. He acts like he’s hates it but deep down inside he loves it. Once my laughter settled my eyes made their way over to Joshua, Jon’s twin brother. An instant smile was plastered all over my face. Josh made his way over to my bar where i was setting up, getting ready for the night. “Wass good babygirl” he said. Pulling me into a big bear hug. “Hey Joshy pooh” i said gleefully wrapping my arms around his neck. We stood embracing each other for what felt like an eternity, but it was only for a few seconds. He smacked his lips at the sound of the nickname i gave him. They know they love my nicknames.

It is a quarter to ten and the club is officially about to open for the night. As i was finishing up washing the rest of my shot glasses out. I felt some rough ass skinny arms wrap around me. My skin was crawling with disgust because i literally knew who it was. “Wassup girl” Que the Club Dj tried to whisper in my ear, as i struggled to push him off of me. I need to start lifting. I thought to myself because i could not get this man off of me. “I thought i told yo ass, DO NOT TOUCH ME!” I said very loudly.

I don’t understand why this man cant get a fucking clue. Don’t get me wrong he’s not a bad looking guy… It’s just his horrible personality that ruins it completely. He puts his hands up in defeat, as if he didn’t want any issues. I was wondering what caused him to switch up so quickly. But I didn’t have to look very far. Just as he started to walk away. I looked up at the club entrance to see Josh standing up jaw and fist clenched tighter than i have ever seen. But I’m not complaining, I love seeing my “man” get all worked up about me! My pussy started throbbing, just thinking about him. But i can’t have him right now, the club is about to start and people will surely notice us missing. I looked back up at Josh, letting him know with my eyes that i was fine. He slowly started to relax, unclenching his hands and jaw. He was silently telling me okay, but i knew he wasn’t over it. He couldn’t stand Que!

Part 2

[pennyellee]

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐗 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞

LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU

pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader

genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au

summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.

Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.

chapter warnings (preview only): minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, yandere, implied age gap, hoseok-sshi being tired of yoongi, …

beta read by @chaoticpuff17

word count: 646

release date: 7/12/24

disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.

author’s note: WELL AT LAST INNIT? Y'all I swear I’m as impatient to put this out but also so nervous. This is the longest chapter of Lacrimosa to this date and there is a reason. A lot is going to happen here and in part two. That’s why I decided to split this into two parts, and perhaps if this would be only one part I would have to write “the end” which I’m still not contemptuous with soooo yeah. But this has been such a long ride and looking at the almost 300 pages long document I’m sitting here like damn. The first draft of Lacrimosa can be traced back to 2021 and I can’t believe we are almost at the end of it all.

ANYWAY - for those who asked a lot about Y/N’s and Yoongi’s age gap, kudos for your patience. Also, I have another fic that is setted in the world of champagne confetti [now i’ll know if you’re actually reading these notes hihi] of which preview will come, probably this week too, or maybe the next one, again, very excited to push it out finally AND, yes to all of you if you’re still reading this note - CHAMPAGNE CONFETTI [now you just looked up to see what i’m talking about right] will come around as soon as i’m finished with UNI this year. If yall be good I can pull out a preview out of my sleeve for Christmas. SO, see you all on 7/12/24, the usual time :))))

previous NEXT

….

“You don’t just do that without having something bigger planned.”

Seokjin’s eyes flickered to observe Yoongi’s reaction to their brother’s words. “He is right, Yoongi. She has always been emotional, and driven by her heart. But this—" He shook his head. “It’s different.”

Jimin shifted in his seat, looking between the men, the concern in his eyes growing.

Hoseok stood straighter, his expression softening as he spoke with conviction. “She had a choice. She could have walked away or stayed neutral, but instead, she chose to act. And what she did, Yoongi, was not just for herself. It was for all of us. For you. Do not dare to doubt her loyalty, when she worked hard to finally be contemptuous here!”

Jungkook, his voice quieter than usual, spoke up listening to Hoseok’s words. “She did what she had to do. And whatever her reasons are, I trust her.” His gaze met Yoongi’s. “You should, too.”

Yoongi’s expression hardened, trying to keep his emotions in check. His mind raced, the weight of everything that had happened in the past hours pressing down on him.

Taehyung’s voice broke through the silence once again, more serious than usual.

“She has changed—” Yoongi exhaled sharply, his mind still reeling. “I just need to understand why. Why now? Why this?” His voice dropped to a near whisper, the vulnerability slipping through despite his best efforts to hide it. His heart... his heart wanted to believe in her, wanted to believe she was doing this out of devotion, not manipulation.

“Of course, she has changed!” Hoseok’s frustration was bubbling at this point. "You were nine when she was born," he continued the quiet force in his voice, not backing down.

“Nine years, Yoongi. You have had that much more time to figure things out. To live your life, to become who you are now. She did not have that—” Yoongi’s jaw clenched, and for a moment, he didn’t know how to respond. The truth was there, raw and unfiltered, and it stung.

“She had three pathetic years to enjoy what life can be and then she went to be your wife.” He took a breath, trying to steady himself. Y/N had spent so much of her life suffocated by the things that had shaped her, by the violence and manipulation that had plagued her existence long before she ever crossed paths with him.

The silence that followed was thick, the air heavy with unspoken emotions.

His voice was quieter than it had been, softer, as he spoke the words he wasn’t sure he was ready to say. “I just… I need to—”

“Even if she is plotting some grand escape, we will stop her, Yoongi.” Yoongi’s head snapped up at the interruption, his eyes narrowing at Hoseok’s words. For a moment, Yoongi’s chest tightened, the idea of Y/N plotting against him threatening to undo everything he’d been trying to hold together.

He stepped forward, his hand resting gently on Yoongi’s shoulder, an attempt to ground him in the present. “You all are too busy doubting her, instead of trusting her.” Yoongi flinched slightly at the rawness in Hoseok’s tone. He had been too caught up in his own doubts to truly see the bigger picture.

“Maybe you are right,” Yoongi muttered, his voice low, almost to himself. He ran a hand through his hair, frustration bubbling back to the surface.

“She is not running, Yoongi. She is not playing you. What is happening now is what happens when you have been given enough time to think.” Hoseok’s gaze softened, his expression becoming more contemplative.

For the first time in a long time, Yoongi allowed himself to take a breath, to breathe out the doubt, and let himself hold onto the belief that maybe, just maybe she was done fighting him for good.

“I genuinely hope that you are right, Hoseok-sshi.”

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.

coming soon

©pennyellee. please do not repost

Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥

PS: Taehyung and Xiaoli 🤭🤫❤️

keep in mind - I'm not expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction.

tag list: @beautifulcloudfestival - @honsoolgloss - @jingerbreadoutofstock - @moscow778 - @januara26 - @dinosolecito - @yoongislatinagff - @xyahrinx - @hi12345567 - @nochuel - @deltamoon666 - @bbkissme99 - @darkuni63 - @nansasa - @sazsazsaz - @strxwbloody - @royallyjjk - @jaiuneamesolitaiire - @shadowyjellyfishfest - @bbgniecyy - @elayne321 - @seojunandsoju - @bun-27 - @whipwhoops - @wobblewobble822 - @whofan88 - @haneyyyyyy - @lostgirlinthewoodss - @secfir - @btspurplesky - @elleflying07 - @pamzn - @megseungmin - @selenophileforlife - @idkjustlovingbts - @seonghwaexile - @catlove83

[salpho]

We need to talk about what happened with Mike D.

For those who don't know, Mike D, co-creator of Bendy, has stated that Thomas Connor is a white man. He's done this before with Norman Polk, too. Because of this, drama has arose which led him to make his account private, and shortly after, deleted.

This thread on Twitter gives details of what happened, screenshots provided for those who can't view it below-

I must state as a disclaimer that no matter what he's like, past or present, we should not seriously be wishing death on him. The person who said they wished death on him has since retracted their statement, as said and shown in the thread above.

The two characters, Thomas and Norman, were nearly universally agreed upon to be black men, and have been implied and coded to be black through their voices, their interactions with other characters (especially in the books) and likely many more things I've missed, only to then be revealed to be canonically white.

Mike D has also stated (correct me if wrong) that he believes minorities are forced, unless the character's identity helps the story. Think of Buddy from Dreams Come To Life being Jewish, and how his religion effected his story.

This is erasure. The fact they decanonised the books that show these important interactions, the fact they led us on, being told your identity or race must serve a purpose in fiction, is all erasure. If you are part of a minority and see a character like you have that part of them stripped away or forgotten, it sends the message that people like you must be censored and eradicated, especially knowing how many minorities were treated historically. Being told minorities are forced unless given a greater purpose in storytelling reinforces the idea that being part of any minority is abnormal and thus, wrong.

TheMeatly has recently addressed that the cutouts used in all games post-BATIM had (accidentally) stolen fanart and plans to use a new texture in future games. This is proof that he has improved as Bendy merchandise has used fanarts without permission years ago.

In contrast, I have yet to see Mike D improving on any of his past actions. I really do hope he does, but right now, things do not seem hopeful. He must understand the messages he's spreading, intentional or not, and improve.

EDIT - There are actually some signs regarding his improvement in other areas. When the KindlyBeast team was laid off, he did make an apology post for them, and his "We make stupid games for stupid kids" quote doesn't seem to apply seeing the M ratings newer games are getting. Courtesy to the other Bendy wiki staff to giving me these points.

However, I do think there's still an issue with how he views minorities. Here's to hoping for the best.

[theyanderespecialist]

Dracula's Trans Man (Headcanons) Dracula X Transman Reader (Castlevania)

[Hello, my sexy muffins! I am here with another post and happy International Trans Day of Visibilty. So, of course, I had to do a Trans Related Video! Enjoy this video!] 

(Disclaimer: Transmen are Men, it does not matter if they do not change their vagina or chest, they are still men even if they still have those parts. They do not need to have a pp and balls to be a man! Transmen are men and trans rights are human rights!

Disclaimer: Dracula is not Yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon. Thank you! 

Disclaimer: Small Mention of Relgious Transphobia the past fricking sucked and this took place in the 1400s or 1600s and the Bishop burning Lisa, Dracula's wife, as a witch is why he went after humanity in the first place. Yeah, so religious transphobia was mentioned. I obviously do not support that poo!) 

-Yandere Headcanons With Yandere Dracula X Transman Reader From Castlevania Netflix Series- 

.Dracula met you through Lisa; she would talk about a man who was born with parts that did not match up to how he felt he was as a man. 

.That man was you, and you went to Lisa because she was one of the only people who was willing to hear how you felt and was the only person who saw you as a man. 

.She even taught you how to properly bind your chest and make fake packages for you to have between your legs. 

.You were the only one to speak out for Lisa as you believe she was a woman of science. You were told you were unwell. 

.The Chruch said you would be locked away until you accept your birth gender. (I am not saying this in a religious thing, but clearly the bishop would say it, the past fricking suck and this was like 1400s so of course they be transphobic and homophobic poo.) The Gender God gave you. 

.Dracula remembered Lisa talking about you and saw you a scared young man, the only man who stood up for his wife even though you did not have the parts that would make society see you as a man. 

.You were more of a man and far braver than anyone here. 

.For that, he snatched you from the bishop's hands and brought you back to his castle. You saw his rage at losing his wife, but you were in debt to Dracula as you would have been locked away and maybe even executed. 

.Dracula knew you did not agree with killing humanity but he knew you respect how he felt. 

.You were the only one to stand for his wife, and he saw the beauty in your stunning and slightly handsome face. 

.He made sure everyone would refer to you as man; he was going to create a world where you can be a man. 

.He would do his best never to misgender you, and he knows you do not like your chest touched. 

.As that part of your was very dysphoric. Even though at the time you did not have this word for it, instead you said it made you feel like your body did not make up to how you felt it should be. 

.That it felt wrong and just not right. He did not understand fully what it felt like, but he knew it caused you discomfort, and so he made sure never to touch your chest or touch your chest as little as possible. 

.He learned to love you as the man you were, and he found comfort in you, even though you were short for even human males. 

.He would love to tease you and wrap his arms around you. 

.You were his little man with a lot of passion, and you got so passionate about certain topics he would find himself enamored with just listening to you. 

.He did love to tease you because seeing you flustered as he would tease you would give him great joy. 

.He would even let you work on what you called Gender studies. You told him you wanted there to be documents on the third Gender that were scattered around history before the church got to them. 

.You wanted to leave a mark about the people that were like you, and the people that were neither male or female. 

.You wanted to leave a mark on this world, and he understood your need to do this. 

.Also, with you in his life, he did not want to commit genocide; he still wanted humanity to suffer. 

.But on a much smaller scale. 

.You tamed a lot of him because you were given a hand that caused you issues; you had no way at the time to change your biological sex.

.But you still stood to fight when the world was stacked against you, when you were given the worse biological hand. 

.He would be the one to support you in your life, and he promises to find a way to turn your body into what you felt would match up with you. 

.He did enjoy your body while it still had it biological sex. 

.He did make sure not to make you uncomfortable during sex with your body not being the parts you would like. 

.He would be the type of man and yandere who is very aware of how you are feeling while he makes love to you, as well as being aware of how you feeling almost all other times as well. 

.He is aware when you are feeling uncomfortable with your body. 

.He also knows you do not want to see him on certain days because of your body's reproductive cycle. 

.Although he is a vampire and he wants to show you how much he loves you when you are your monthly bleed. 

.He does not let you get the whole week away from him as he wants to worship your core and to make you feel adored. 

.Once again, he wants to worship you with his mouth and show you that he savors every inch of you. 

.He is the type of yandere that is very overprotective of you. he knows you are a man, but your body has limitations due to its biological sex. 

.Like when you are on your reproductive cycle, he makes sure that you are only in his bed chambers and that Hector and Issac are the only ones who come see you during that time. 

.There had been a slip-up when you went to wash without them, and Godbrand commented when he smelled your reproductive cycle. (Because of course Godbrand one) 

.Dracula had turned Godbrand's head to paste, and it took a week to regenerate; Godbrand was also put on a month-long restriction from blood. Which now has Godbrand avoiding you like the plague. (It seems he learned his lesson.) 

.Dracula does not play around when it comes to your protection and comfort as a man. 

.He is not going to let anyone, even his most trusted generals, say things about your gender and or biological sex. 

.He once again loves how small you are to him and has you sit on his lap.

.Also, the sex with you being so small was a turn on. You are an adult male, but man, does he love the size difference? 

.He also uses your smaller size to his advantage and physically picks you up when you get in arguments with his generals. 

.He just picks you up and is like No, you have done enough. 

.He is firm with you, though, when he has to be. 

.He knows he has given you such freedoms, but you are his consor,t and that means that you have to obey him. 

.He is Dracula, and you will obey him; he is your lover and king, and you are his husband (as he would marry you as a man) and the man carrying his child and will carry future children. (Yes this is the 1400s or the 1600s you can bet your sweet ass that he got you pregnant also it was in the request lol) 

.As a yandere, he is very protective of you, but it only gets worse the more he is up against humanity.

.Because humanity had tried to take you away from before he even knew he loved you.

.So as more time goes on he does not want you out of his sight, and he wants you to leave the castle less and less.

.Soon, he does not want you to even leave the wing that he would have for you, him, and your children. 

.When you are pregnant, he gets so overprotective he might resort to chaining you to the bed. 

.Losing Lisa really changed him as a man and yandere where he would not care what you would say about needing to leave. 

.You were his husband at this point and the other father to his children. 

.It was HIS Job to protect you and both his and your children. 

.He does not care what you have to say on the matter; the world is far too dangerous for you, his husband, and the other father to his children. 

.He is the type of yandere that would die before he let any harm come to you or the children you give him. 

.You are the second chance he has at a family, and he is not going to let it be stolen from him again. 

.If anything happens to you or the children you give him, he would turn on humanity; you are the only thing keeping him together at this point. 

.You are his man, the other father to his children, his husband; you are his world, and he will do everything to protect you and keep you 

.If anything was to happen to you, he would burn this world to ash. 

.He would deal with rivals brutally, no whorish women would be allowed to come close to you. 

.Also, he is even harsher on the men that try to get close to you. he does not mess with them at all. 

.But in the end, all of the rivals end up having their skin made to be the covers of his books and has their flayed bodies on spikes as the birds and rodents devour them while they are still alive and in agony. 

.He would be there to make you feel like a man, but do not get it wrong he is the top, you will not make strap to fuck him with. 

.He helps you with your dysphoria as much as he can, knowing you are hurting, and it is his job to take care of you. 

.He is a devoted yandere and lover who sees you as his greatest treasure; he does not love you like he loved Lisa. 

.It is an obsessive love and new love for him. He will hold Lisa dearly, but also you are his everything as well. 

.He had confessed to you after a year of courting you, and you, feeling like you owed your life to him, accepted his love. 

.Yes, you owed him your life so you would, of course, give your love to him. 

.He was a good man, if a bit controlling of when you left the castle and who you had in your life. 

.The moment you defended his life, you had sealed your fate, and you would never be able to escape Dracula, your yandere husband. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done, I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!]

[celestie0]

so your insecure about your smut I hear ? if it makes you feel better I still mentally jerk it in memory of the following:

kickoff chapter 6 particularly when reader’s collapsed over the sink and gojos still on his knees behind her just WATCHING and then when their eye fucking eachother in the mirror and readers hand is reached behind to grab the back of his head THATS SO SEXY

the tension in chapter 8 i know there was only a proposition of smut but when it was stripped away I think that’s when I fell in love with the series because the slow burn is just everything - disclaimer I don’t jork it to that I just like the scene

The duration of kickoff chapter 11 couch scene 👌. My stomach does the thing every time, dry humping is elite, and the high school in love-ness between them 😭I’m throwing up

THE IHM SNEAK PEAKS

I refuse to believe you think those are bad as well like tf???? And not just the lazy morning sex that had me bust a load but the death row meal comment??????? Making out while doing calculus in his head so not to get a boner???? And for someone who’s not a fan of dirty talk like babe come on, the way you capture all the different sexy aspects of that sexy man like the vulgarity had me HOT and then his dumbass down bad-ness just UGh the need to put a baby in him right now

anyway that deserved its own paragraph but then obviously there’s works with smut as the actual premise

L&L specifically the bj scene I think you awakened my praise kink with that one - btw will we ever get a part 2 because I’m pretty sure that plan fell through but just letting you know I’m all up for seconds, no pressure if it’s not a part of ur agenda though

Round the clock.

actually hold up let me elaborate on these above two points in my full opinion because I really want you to understand this, the tropes/pairings/dynamics which your brain births are so fucking hot that the smut scene is instantly made good even if it’s not your most proud part of the writing process, this links to the common knowledge which ihm reader preached in the recent chapter- men will get hard to anything - but unfortunately it’s not so easy as a woman, personally that’s why I tend to resort to reading cause there’s nothing more psychologically immersing and of course the point of fanfiction is we’re already in love with our husband gojo so just add a little sexy lore ie. older, boxer, babysitter and babe I’m already halfway there cause of the quality of your ideas and writing, smut is only part of the experience and it’s not necessarily the most important

Last but not least that one domestic drabble you wrote I know it’s kind of a pwp moment but the position wifey reader and toji did it in omg and when he called her a slut and when he had her cockdrunk and babbling and begging for a baby 😫✋

honorable mention because like I said smut isn’t everything: the scene where ihm Gojo is shirtless fixing the kitchen sink and drinking oj from a mug and then when he picked up reader while she’s in a measly silk gown … yeah I jork it to that😔

in conclusion ur smut makes me horny🙂 so I think your sufficiently successful in achieving its primary purpose, please don’t be so hard on yourself and I hope you can learn to find more self satisfaction in these parts of your work where you lack confidence and see it in a better light

<333

ok hi anon im back! lol

first of all thank u sm. some people might think a fanfic author would desire a good dicking down from their favorite fictional character and a blunt shortly thereafter. but no. THIS is all a fanfic author truly wants.

HAHAH no but in serious you’re so sweet to point outtt these little details i could sob :”) i was cheesing so hard in the morning when i read it haha!!

i always forget the kickoff ch6 party bathroom scene happened xd sometimes i get thrown into a state of shock when i remember i wrote it. and that’s the thing!! i was so excited n giddy to write it bc it was back when i didnt think too hard about my writing haha. somewhere along the line i just became so self conscious ab smut :( but anywho yes the couch scene in kickoff ch11 had me screaming while i was writing it i was so excited to eventually post it so i’m so happy you enjoyed ittt aaa :”)

STOP bc i have SO much smut planned for ihm 😭😭 ranging from borderline crack smut to passionate lovemaking loool i can’t wait to get to those parts of the series but ouf yea them insecurities be haaaaard. i think i just don’t see a lot of representation of the kind of smut i like to write in the fandom very much so it gets me second guessing 🥲 like idk i like dirty talk but it has to be kinda on the nose?? like the whole part where ihm gojo says the thing ab doing calculus in his head so he doesnt get a hard-on 😂😂 like idk it’s so cute n hot to me in my head but it’s kinda niche to my preferences haha

sorry i’m rambling but like ugh same w the morning sex scene i wanna get to that part sooo bad but i just hope i don’t second guess that scene once i get to it 😩😩 bc oh my the way my coochie was clenching the whole time while writing it LOL i sob

aw yeahh i was supposed to do a pt2 for l&l but hmm i kinda got bored of the concept. it was my first major oneshot smut n like aaa i like it but :0 i think it does stand good alone as just one part

thanks my dear :”) i agree i think…well, i have a hard time giving myself credit for anything usually haha, but i do think that the character dynamics i created outside of i guess the smutty stuff rlly helps? i guess its kinda like a buffer when i get into writing smut bc im like oh yknow even if this isnt the hottest thing my readers have read i hope that they enjoy it bc they like my versions of gojo xd so you’re so sweet for validating me on that HAHAHA

also stooooop i love that scene in ihm. the one where he picks her up effortlessly while she’s on all fours in her grandma nightgown on the floor 🤣🤣 idk if this is so hyperspecifically arousing but like the thought of sporty muscular gojo having just come back from a run n he’s manhandling vintage silk nightgown-wearing reader while she’s has barely awoken from sleep is so cute n silly n hot to me. sorry it sounds like im jerking myself off here but i just love ihm gojo sm honestly i would like to fuck him until his balls look like raisins :/

anywhooo you’re too sweet. like seriously. and i saw your follow up ask, an hour?? imma sob. i’m saving the link for this ask to look back on whenever i feel bad ab my smut writing abilities!! or just writing in general. i fear u may have saved me anon LOL i haven’t felt this excited to write smut in a while! i appreciate you :)) much love!

[moirindeclermont]

Why am I fascinated with Dark!Colin?

There is a scenario I did not explore much in past posts, but it deserves some space. I like to place characters in scenarios and situations where their worst traits take over. The concept of Dark!Colin is familiar, as many people explored it in fanfiction, but I want to play with it because it tickles my brain in the best way.

Disclaimer: These are not traits to look for in reality, IMO. I do avoid people with these traits in real life. But in fiction, we can engage with those fantasies safely. If it is not your cup of tea, I do understand; please take care of yourself. Furthermore, I love the Colin we know, the sweet, empathetic man we embraced and celebrated for all the right reasons. While the show will probably continue on that route (which is good, IMO), I want something darker today.

Jealousy is one of the first things that comes to my mind. People have said that Colin would never share Pen, and while I disagree on principle (but that's another post), in this particular version of Colin, he does not share, and he is jealous of every interaction Pen has with other men, especially now that everyone seems to have open their eyes on her beauty.

Right away, there is possessiveness—fierce, blind possessiveness. Pen is his (as much as he is Pen's), and you know that a darker version of Colin would go to unhinged ends to mark Pen as his. Bites and hickeys are mostly in places where no one can see, but sometimes he does leave some small token of his affection when they have to go to social events so no one can get the wrong idea.

Is Dark!Colin capable of unspeakable things? Absolutely! Pen writes in her diary, "There is something to be said about the desire and love of a man that is used to do the worst things", and while there are certain boundaries, Dark!Colin would not pass - he considers himself if not a gentleman, at least a man of honour when it comes to his family - those are very few. Forcing a woman is the fastest way to get to the wrong side of Dark!Colin very quickly, for example.

But the part that interests me most is that show!Colin could quickly go under this road if the armour were to rust, for example. The fact that he has the flaws of being a Dark Character, but he is not, speaks to me about choice and intentionality. Being kind, empathetic, and overall good is a very intentional choice real people make every day. Colin is a good person because, in the show, he chooses to be one.

I like flawed characters who choose to be better, to be good. Show!Colin is primarily good, but I like the cracks that I see. They make me wonder... what if? And that's one of the most fascinating questions you can explore with a character. What do you think of Dark!Colin? Does it tickle you?

If you have fics, please link them; I need more Dark!Colin in my life

[thevanillerose]

CAPTIVE | GAVIN x ANDROID!READER | DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN

~ WRITING COMMISSIONS ~ ~ PATREON ~ ~ KO-FI ~ ~ NOVELS ~

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own anything except my own writing. All properties belong to their respective creators.

Content Warning: Yandere themes / Non-con / Captivity / Gavin being Gavin A/N: Sorry, I was gone for a little bit! It was my 28th birthday, and so I was busy celebrating! I'm back again! ^-^ I'm currently working on the requests for my 100 Followers Celebration but, as they're not quite ready yet, here's something to tide you guys over in the meantime! Because I've been really into Detroit again recently, and I love Gavin. I know. My taste in fictional men is...questionable... yes he's a douche but he's so hot ok

“You know...I used to hate androids. I thought they were useless pieces of plastic shit...That changed though.”

His cruel blue eyes flickered up to you, and where you hung like a marionette from the various wires and clamps that had been set up to hold you suspended.

He had invited you round to his place because it was supposedly 'crucial' for the investigation. You had been surprised by the fact that he lived in a literal mansion. Even more surprised by the basement you had ultimately ended up being trapped in.

Down here, he kept other androids like yourself. Caged up, mangled and mutilated. By the time you had realized just how risky it was to be here, it had been too late. He strung you up like this, and jammed some kind of plug into the back of your neck.

“...It was before I realized just how much fun I could have with you guys. You don't have any rights...so I can do whatever I like, can't I?” Gavin tilted his head and scratched some of the scruff on his jawline, “Yeah...pick and pull you apart, put you back together again. It's become a hobby of mine. Police work can be stressful, something you pricks obviously can't understand. I need to get my kicks somehow...”

He trailed off, smirking at you. Your blue blooded heart was pounding. You felt the fear and couldn't deny it. Thus was the nature of actually being a deviant.

“...Wh...why are you doing this to me?” you asked him, and he just chuckled, pacing around casually in front of you, back and forth.

“Why? Because I want to. And because you've always pissed me off too. I have to see you in my office every day, all buddy buddy with that other android asshole and that washed up cop. You must think you're better than me, huh?”

Your bottom lip quivered a little. It wasn't necessarily painful to be in this position, you weren't capable of feeling that. But you were frightened. Undeniably dreading what he might ultimately end up doing to you.

“No I don't--!”

“Yeah, sure. Anyway...if you really wanna know the reason why I chose you...I think it's kinda obvious.”

To your shock, his hand suddenly snaked up to your jawline, gripping it firmly. You wanted to jerk your head away, but the cable in your neck prevented you from moving it enough.

“Wh...what are you saying?” you whimpered softly, and he just grinned wider, showing off those pearly whites.

“I'm saying that you stand out. Usually you androids creep me the fuck out. But you've got a pretty face.” he uttered, while letting his hand traverse down from your neck, over your chest, and lower still, until he was resting his fingers on the buckle of your belt.

“And a nice body too. I'm not sure how that ties in with being a police officer, but I can't complain.” he stated, while you squirmed and struggled. Gavin toyed with your belt for a bit, tugging on it, before letting go and walking over to where an array of screens were stacked.

“Anyway...I'm not going to waste any more time. We're going to do some troubleshooting on you, sweetheart...”

“What are you going to do to me!?” you gasped, and Gavin glanced around over his shoulder.

“What am I going to do?” he tapped away on the keyboard and slammed the space key, before straightening up and walking back over to you again.

“I'm going to wipe your memory. Reprogram you, basically. It might surprise you, but I've done some research into this.” he stated, “I know how to take that little electric brain of yours and make you obedient. I like the idea of having you helping around here. And when you're not doing what I need you to do, we can have some fun together...”

You could feel every artificial nerve in your body seizing up at once.

So...he intended to make you his slave then? Was that basically what he was saying?

“How does that sound? Ah but it doesn't matter what you think, especially not now...” Gavin trailed off with a dark look, as the screen popped up with a progress bar. The panic truly set in at a new level of extreme, and you started to lash out and gasp desperately.

“No! NO! NO PLEASE DON'T RESET ME!!”

“Sorry sweetheart. I've already decided.”  

Gavin leaned against the wall opposite you, folding his arms and smirking as he watched you struggle all the more. Not for long though.  

Soon enough, your mind was wiped. You lost grip on whatever semblance you had of who you really were, and fell into a void from which there was no escape.  

All your memories were ripped right out of your plastic skull.

Conversations with Connor about dogs.

Hank taking you for burgers at the Chicken Feed stop, even if you couldn't eat them.

Little things...triggers that had ultimately set you on this deviant path.  

All of it. Lost.

By the time the process concluded, you stepped away a hollow shell of what you once were. Of course, that was precisely what Gavin wanted, and he drew closer to you again, taking your face between his hands and tilting it up.  

Your eyes were distant. You eyed him without clarity, as if you were no longer really present. It made you malleable enough that he knew he could get away with anything. Just the way he liked it...

Plus...since you were no longer really there...he could finally set aside his pride and do what he had wanted to all along.

The gap between you closed. The tip of his nose brushed against your own, before his lips captured yours too.  

You didn't feel a thing.

Like my writing? I can write for you! Check out my WRITING COMMISSIONS!

[ctrlsht]

Seat of Power | jungkook political au 04

pairing: ceo!jungkook x reader genre: political & yandere au

summary: in the world full of power and greed, there are people who seek freedom and peace. While the two rival families are fighting for different purposes, it's their son and daughter fighting for what they desire. You already buried the memories that happened that night while he already tattooed it on his mind. You've forgotten them while he's doing everything in his power to make it happen again. 

chapter summary: after you successfully escape in Jungkook’s territory, you are now in the care of the Choi family that helps you with your situation. Everything is now in favor of what you want until it’s not. You thought that you finally saw the light at the end of the road but it was a thunder that would consume you alive. 

chapter warnings: Jungkook breaking down, yandere tendencies, unstable mental health, Jungkook’s men breaking in the house, Y/N is physically and mentally unstable, brief smut (if there is more and not included, please do mention it. ty!) word count: 8.5k

disclaimer: This is pure fiction and I do not condone the acts of Jeon Jungkook in the story. All events and occurrences in this book are all fictional and all are part of my imagination. And also, this fiction will be political.

Jungkook receives a call while he’s in the meeting. It was your nurse who’s calling. 

It’s been only 2 days since he left to go back to Seoul for a deal and he’s going to be away for a week. It’s hard for him since he doesn’t want to leave you that long but his company would go down when he abandons his duties. His father is already doubting him for all the things that he’s been doing that’s why he needs to go back on track. 

He thought the only reason why your nurse called is to deliver a daily update from you about your condition. But he was wrong.

Your nurse didn’t even let him greet her and she immediately spoke. “Mr. Jeon, I’m sorry! Y/N is missing. We’re just preparing her meds when we left her in the living room and when we went back, she wasn’t there anymore and we still couldn't find her!”

The nurse speaks nonstop. She spoke so fast that Jungkook couldn’t understand most of what she said. 

But out of all she said, what marked him was you are missing. 

Jungkook felt like his world collapsed at his feet.

The people in the meeting got surprised when he suddenly stood up from his seat while he’s on a call. Hoseok—his friend threw him a concerned look but he didn’t give him attention. He immediately stormed out of the conference room without saying a word. 

“What the fuck happened?!” His voice thundered as he walked rapidly towards the rooftop where his private jet is located. He called his men to command a search on you. He also instructed someone to communicate with the government of Hanrim to help in the search for you. He still doesn’t know the whole story of how you went missing because he’s occupied commanding everyone to look for you. 

He was tense during the whole trip going back to Jeju. He’s been thinking a lot and he can’t stop his anxiety. He already thought about the things that can happen to you while you’re away and he’s been thinking the worst. There are a lot of things that’s been going inside his head but what’s on the top of his mind is “Why did you leave?”

Did he do something that you don’t like? Did he say something? Did you remember a certain memory that caused you to leave?

He still doesn’t understand why you left and he doesn’t want to acknowledge that the reason why you left is that you may have already remembered everything and you chose to leave. It’s the most possible reason for you to leave yet he chose to ignore it. 

Maybe she just wants to wander around the house? That she wants to see more than what’s inside the house. She can’t just leave me because I know that she loves me too. She can’t do that. 

His men and nurses ran into him immediately as they saw him walking in the house. They reported about what’s happening and stated how you left the house. They also showed CCTV footage of you leaving the house. It was obvious that you planned your escape but he can’t accept that on himself. He ordered everyone to leave the office because he wanted to be alone and give himself time to think. He’s been playing back the footage of you hundreds of times that he already memorized every move you make and yet, he still can't believe that you really did that. 

After he rewound it for the last time, that’s when it hitted him. 

You left him. You plan to leave him. 

He’s starting to shake and tears are now forming on his eyes. He bit the nails of his thumb to prevent himself from crying but it was too late. A broken tear was leaving his eyes. 

It didn’t last long for his tears to fall continuously until he started to scream and shatter the things in front of him. 

One of his men entered his office to check up on him but the man ended up bitten by Jungkook. He was practically screaming at his men, blaming him for your loss. He was continuously throwing punches until other men were begging him to stop before he killed the poor man. Whoever tries to stop him gets involved as well. He was already out of control when he decided to get the gun inside the drawer of his table and pointed it to the people in front of him and everyone went freeze.

“It was all your fucking fault you careless son of a bitch!” 

His eyes were bloodshot while he was pointing the gun and everyone paused to raise their hand in signal of defeat. The room was silent for a few seconds and Jungkook’s breath was in fast-phase.

He pointed the gun on the roof to shoot all of a sudden and everyone was leaning back while covering their ears as they screamed.

“Leave or you won’t be able to leave this room alive!”

And with that, he’s alone once again. 

He put his gun on the table and he tried to calm down but he couldn't. Another set of tears were flowing on his cheeks once more. He allows himself to fall down on the ground as he rubs his face with his palms and he looks at your frame hanging on the wall.

Why did you leave me alone? I gave you everything for you to stay. Am I not enough? Baby please come back. You know that I can’t live without you…

He doesn’t know how long he’s in his position crying for you to come back as if you could hear him from where you are. He’s blaming himself why you chose to leave. You planned to leave and he can’t accept the fact that he wasn’t enough for you. What makes it even worse is the fact that you might be in danger out there. It’s raining hard and you don’t have anything to cover yourself. You’re soaking wet when he last saw you in the footage and you’re probably shivering out there. You have no idea on the things that can happen to you and you were so naive in this world that there might be people who will hurt and take advantage of you. That thought alone scared him the most. He can’t just stay here and cry his ass because he knows for a fact that you won’t just appear in front of him. He must set aside his emotions and focus on finding you. 

Baby, no matter what happens, I will find you.

—

You were shivering because of fear and coldness and you were starting to lose your breath but you weren’t stopping from running. The road is getting blurred and foggy but you still continue to run in it. You're frightened because of the emptiness of the wide road but you didn’t stop because him catching you is the scariest of them all. 

You don’t know how long you’ve been running and where you are now but what matters is you’re already away. You’re not familiar on the road and there is no vehicle that’s stopping by. It doesn't last long until you realize that you’re in the middle of nowhere. In both corners of the road is a woods and it’s dangerous to enter that path. You just keep on running until you see a house in the corner of the road. You suddenly feel like there’s a light at the end of the darkness and you finally received the hope that you’ve been waiting for. 

You immediately knock on the door when you reach the front of the house asking if there is someone inside. As the second goes by that the door isn’t opening, you were panicking that Jungkook might catch you. You speak louder hoping that someone can hear you inside and after another few seconds, the door finally opens and a man in his late 30s is standing in front of you.

“Please, help me!” You begged and your cries became louder. 

“Oh my, what happened to you?!” When the man processed your state, he looked at you with his wide eyes before he looked back to call someone.

“Yeobo! There’s a woman in here!” The man called inside and he looked at you with a concern in his eyes before he let you in. 

“Thank you so much, ahjussi!” Your cry in relief. 

“What is it?” A woman in her 30s as well appeared in front of you. Probably the wife of the man. When the woman saw you, her eyes immediately opened wide. 

“Who are you?!” 

They let you change your clothes and they gave you a cup of coffee to drink. They help you make yourself comfortable in their house before you explain your situation. It was hard for you to finish your narrative because you weren’t sure of what you’re going to say. But you ended up narrating the reasons why you left that place. 

You’re already covered in a scarf yet you’re still trembling from what just happened to you. It hasn’t sunk in you that you’re finally out at his control and you manage to escape. You still can’t believe that you did that. 

You’ve been talking to the married couple who helped you and they were also helping you to figure things out. They were Choi Seung-won—the husband and Choi Ji-woo—the wife. They have a daughter named Yumi who’s at the age of 12. You were so thankful to them for helping you despite you being a stranger. They also thought that it would be easy for them to find you since their home is accessible since it’s along the road, hence, they offered to bring you to their parents so that you’ll be safe until you figure things out. They even offered to give you a ride which you were so thankful for. They’ve done enough for you yet they continue to help. 

“Jeon Jungkook? The son of Jeon Tae-soo?!” The mother of Ji-woo reacted as they had finished narrating your story. The couple nodded. 

“Are you sure?” She added, obviously doubting you. 

“Eomma!” Ji-woo reacted.

“Do you even remember your parent’s name?” The mother asked you.

You didn’t respond immediately because you’re trying to remember their name. You’re squeezing your brain in the hopes of remembering their names but you don’t.

You manage to remember their names however, because of the drugs and medicines that Jungkook made you drink, your brain resets.

The sad part is, you will never know that everything that happens to you is Jungkook’s fault.

“Of course she wouldn’t remember. She loses her memories, remember?” Seung-won answered for you.

You thought that everything would be in favor of you but it wouldn’t be just like that. Ji-woo’s mother couldn’t believe you because they find it impossible to happen. You couldn’t give much information regarding yourself and Jungkook because you do not have enough knowledge. All the things that you manage to remember before you left disappear in an instant. It was when you realized that you don’t have enough information about Jungkook who claims to be the love of your life. 

The only thing that you know about him is he has a company that you don’t even know about and his age. Your knowledge was limited because Jungkook himself doesn’t talk much about his personal self. The thing that he mostly talks about is the memories you’ve created with him in the past. He also only talks about you and who you are but never about him. 

Nonetheless, the Choi family let you stay with them even though it’s hard for them because if it’s true that you’re really connected with the Jeon’s, then they’ll be screwed because they are aware how powerful their family is. They’ve seen and witnessed how you were scared for your life and it’s enough for them to convince themselves to help you. 

In a snap of a finger, your life changes after you run away from Jungkook. You don’t have a single plan and you didn’t even think about it carefully yet you still continue. You acted based on your emotion and it was late that you realized where your actions brought you. Your life with Jungkook was a dream that most people want. Having things you want and being served. Most people would want that but behind closed doors, you were living in a prison and treated as a prisoner. 

You may be living in a huge and fancy house while being served delicious food and sleeping in a huge bed—but it wasn’t all about that. You aren’t treated like a normal human. It’s more like you’re been treated like a pet. 

Everytime you feel like you regret your actions, you always go back to the reason why you left. 

Your life with the Choi’s isn’t the best but it’s better living with Jungkook. You learned how to cook, how to clean and how to communicate with other people. It was an experience that you couldn’t have when you’re in that rest house. You feel that you really belong here. 

But honestly, you sometimes feel like a burden to the Choi family because you live with them rent free and they feed you for free. You always thank them for the things that they’ve done to you. Now, you’ve been thinking about how to go back to Seoul and see if you still have a life there. But they already warned you that it’ll be hard for you because Seoul is far away from Jeju. As much as they want to help you, they don’t have the money and resources to do that.

You thought that once you leave that place, you would start to remember but you were wrong. The most difficult thing is, most of the things that happen to you after you left that place suddenly fades away. You once again forgot all the things that you remember and even the things that you found out about your family and this is all because of all the medicines and drugs you’ve taken. 

 You’re once again clueless on who you are hence, it’s hard for them to find your real family. They want to ask for the help of the police but you’ve thought that it’s not safe because you’re aware of how powerful Jeon Jungkook is. Once the police know about you, it won’t take long until they bring you back to him. 

“Hey.”

The sun was already setting and you were sitting at the front of the house you’re staying in. This place is very different from the place you have with Jungkook. It’s a forest like and the houses are away from each other. There is no signal but it has electricity. You were starting to love this place because you feel more at peace. 

You looked at Ji-woo who sat beside you as she gave you a smile.

“What’s running through your mind?” She asked you.

“Nothing in particular.” You answered, still watching as the sun set.

“Are you starting to gain your memory?” 

“Not yet, unnie.” You smiled at her but it didn’t reach your eyes. 

A silence filled both of you and after a few moments, you spoke again.

“Thank you so much for letting me stay here. I swear, I’m going to repay you once I’ve figured this out.”

“You’ve thank us enough, Y/N. You don’t have to repeat it a hundred times.” She chuckles. 

They already treat you like a family and you’ve already felt comfortable around them and you’ve realized how you feel like yourself when you’re with them. You feel like you’re at home already and they are your family. 

“But seriously, how are you, Y/N?” After both of you joked around with each other, she looked at you with full concern in her eyes.

“I  wanted to say that nothing’s been bothering me but I would lie.” You smiled bitterly and you can’t hide what you really feel right now. “It feels like the decisions I made are wrong and I don’t know already.” You added.

“Oh dear. Why would you think that?”

“I also don’t know. I’m not sure how far I will go. I’m starting to feel like I’m just fooling myself and I don’t know when to stop this madness.” You sigh before you look down on your feet. The sun finally set and it’s already getting dark and cold. 

“I’m sorry that you feel that way and we can’t help much other than making you stay here.” She lightly caresses your right arm. “My family alone isn’t enough to help you. Do you want to ask for help? Maybe they won’t bring you back to him.”

“You’ve already done enough, unnie. I’m the problem and I don’t know how to deal with myself.” 

You don’t have a plan in the first place. Yes, you didn’t plan your escape and you acted based on your emotion and your instinct but you can’t just do that again. There are already people involved. You’re trying to formulate a concrete plan this time but the truth is, you’ve already created a plan but you know to yourself that it won’t work. 

You’re already doubting yourself if the decisions and actions you’ve made are right and as the time goes by, you’re starting to believe that you’ve made the wrong decision. 

Everytime you’re thinking about the Choi family, you’ve been thinking about how grateful you are that they’ve helped an unknown woman. You’ve also learned to love them and you’ve realized how your life is better when you’re with them. However, not because they were nice to you doesn’t mean that you’ll forever depend on them. They have their own lives and you weren’t part of it. You were just asking for a temporary home but you can’t stay with them as long as you want. They’re not like Jeon Jungkook who’s rich enough to support and take care of you. 

You’ve also thought about leaving already but you’ve realized that you have nowhere to go. You can’t do what you did last time—finding a family to help you. You cannot become a burden once again. 

You might be free right now but you can’t be free forever unless you have the solution to your problem—your memories. Without that, you’re nothing. You’re still hoping that you can have your memories back but you are starting to lose your hope. And the sad part is, as the day passes, it seems like you always lose a memory. It seems like you’re a hopeless case. You were thinking of who can help you and the only person you can think of is him. Sometimes, going back to him crossed your mind. When you first think of that, you immediately deny it to yourself because you’ve gone a lot just for you to go back. But as the time went by, you felt like going back will be your end decision because the only one who's capable of helping you is him.

Weeks have passed and everything was normal. For you to at least show your debts of gratitude, you always help in the house. At first, it was hard for you to adapt to their way of living but you’ve learned with their help. It wasn’t hard and the truth is, you felt like you’ve also done this even before. It’s easy for you to experience daily hardship like you’ve been through it. 

One day, when you’re helping Ji-woo’s mother in the kitchen, Seung-won was rushing to enter the house. He’s catching his breath and he’s sweating a lot. 

“Y/N, I’ve heard the news! Everyone in the city already knows that Mr. Jeon is looking for you! Most of the people were participating in the search party and it won’t take long before they find you here!” He was speaking so fast but you understand what he said. 

You silently gasp and an anxiety of fear fills you. Your feet were glued to the ground and you can’t seem to move. You haven’t said a word while the two are discussing it already. After a few moments. Ji-woo arrived at the house as she joined the discussion. 

“We have to find a place where they won’t find her!” Ji-woo said and Seung-won shook his head.

“We don’t have a place! We can bring her to my parents but it’s in Jongdal-ri but it’s literally on the other side! The trip will cost a lot.”

They were already arguing about what to do with you while you were still in silence. Your vision is slowly becoming blurry and their voices start to echo in your head. You suddenly feel that the world is spinning and you’re about to fall. 

And in a blink of an eye, you heard a loud sound on your head. 

The relatives were shocked when they heard a loud scream. You immediately caught their attention and they ran into you. 

“Y/N, what’s happening to you?!” 

You’re gripping your head and you’re groaning in pain. You’re already at the ground and when the pain intensifies, you’re now knocking your head. They were already panicking because they had no idea what to do to you. Your situation is becoming worse as you scream is getting louder. 

You were lying on the soft fabric of his bed while he’s at the top of you. He was caressing your delicate skin as he was slowly thrusting himself on you and you were crying from pleasure. You looked at his eyes that made you drunk and he inserted his thumb on your mouth to suck it.

“That’s it baby, take me so well.” He moaned before he went down to suck your sensitive nipple and you cried his name. You pulled him by the neck before you aggressively kissed him in the mouth. He continued thrusting and when you’re about to come, you screamed his name.

“Jungkook, please don’t stop!”

After a memory hitted you, silence filled you. Your whole body stops and you are only looking in one direction while your mouth is slightly opened. 

You were in a state of shock and the people around you were already asking your feelings while you couldn’t answer them. 

You have remembered a memory of you with him. It wasn’t just a memory because he was fucking you. You couldn’t believe that out of all the memories that both of you have, it’s the memory you remember. You have no idea when and where it takes place but you were sure that it does happen in his penthouse. 

“Y/N, please talk to us!”

You were back to reality when Ji-woo was shaking your arms. You looked at her and she he was almost crying. Everyone was looking at you like you’re almost going to die. 

“I remembered a memory.” You started.

“What? Do you remember everything?” Seung-won asked you and you shook your head.

“No. It’s just a memory with Jungkook.”

“What is it all about?” You didn’t immediately respond when Ji-woo asked you, you only stared at her in response. 

What happened to you terrifies them therefore, they become alert to what can happen to you next. They don’t know how they can handle you when it happens again and the only thing that they could do is look after you. 

You weren’t talking the whole day and you're always looking away. They don’t have an idea what’s running in your mind but they know that you’re in deep thoughts. Before the day ends, you finally spoke.

“Can I come when you go downtown?” 

“What? You won’t be safe Y/N. People might recognize you!” Seung-won responded. 

“I’ll hide and if they still manage to find me, I’ll surrender.”

You don’t know what got into you when you said that. They would probably catch you without a hassle but you still want to risk it. Because of what you recently remember, you suddenly want to get a glimpse of him. It’s been two weeks since you’ve last seen him and you wanted to see how he’s been. After all, he took care of you at least. 

You’ve doubted yourself even more. You felt like all the things you chose to believe are all wrong. You might be preceded by fear and doubt that he’s lying to you hence, you choose to believe what you want.

What if all your medicines you’ve drunk were really the medicine that will help you recover? What if you were drugged for your own sake? What if he’s just thinking about your safety? What if every information that he’s been grinding to you were the truth? What if he really loves you? What if you really love him? You’ve thought all of that because of a memory that you suddenly remember.

Now, you’re having a hard time finding the truth and you just wanted to confront him to answer all of the questions that won’t let you sleep but you were scared that he will lie and manipulate you. 

But there is something that you’re sure of, your heartbeat increases when you remember the memory you had with him on his bed.

—

You were overwhelmed with how crowded the city downtown is. For many weeks, the only people you see are the Choi family and way back when you’re with Jungkook, the only people you see are the nurses, maids, doctors, guards and Jungkook himself. You aren’t used to seeing a lot of people and you find it fascinating how you see what the real world is. 

You were used to being taken care of by the people you’re with but now, people don’t care about you anymore. They mind their own business as if you weren’t existing and it smells like freedom. 

“I’m going to buy some fruits over there and you should probably stay here. Don’t remove your scarf, alright?” Ji-woo pointed at the stall who’s selling fruits before she tapped your shoulder and you nod. 

You stay in your position and you keep on watching what’s around you. You’re in an open street market as Ji-woo granted your request of wanting to go outside.. You tightly close your scarf that’s also covering your head. Besides that you’re afraid to be known, you were also getting cold. It’s autumn and it’s starting to get colder. People are already starting to wear thick clothes to prevent getting cold. 

While you were looking around, you caught a person that’s very familiar to you and when you realized who he is, your heart suddenly jumped and you immediately turned around. 

It was one of your bodyguards and he’s also the last person you saw before you ran away. Anxiety of fear is falling on you and you don’t know what to do. You immediately use your scarf to cover half of your face and you start to panic. You were about to run towards Ji-woo when you saw another person that you were hoping to see. 

Jungkook is standing meters away from you. He wasn’t wearing his usual attire that’s white button down long sleeve polo and a black slacks instead, he’s wearing a beige sweater with a white collar inside of it and fitted dirty white pants. His hair is longer the last time you saw it and you admitted that it looks good on him. He stands tall and everyone can easily notice his great but intimidating aura and he looks stunning. 

You were hoping to see a glimpse of him but you didn’t expect it to be here where he doesn't belong. With his magnificent appearance, no one would ever spot someone like him in a public market. But now he’s here, everyone that’s passing by him eventually looks back.

He’s looking around, his eyes are like a deep ocean. It can be scary with its everlasting waves but you would love to look at how beautiful it can be.

You were so close to him.

The bodyguard that you saw a while ago is now talking with Jungkook. They were discussing something and you cannot even tear your eyes away. You should be running by now but you can’t help but to stay and look at him. You can’t help but to embrace the thrill you’re feeling right now that you’re close yet so far away. 

Waves of memories with him flashes through your mind. From the day you opened your eyes in a hospital bed and the first thing you saw is his crystal eyes to the last thing you remembered that you’re with him. It was when he’s tucking you to bed the day before you left. A sharp pang of guilt suddenly filled you. You don’t remember even a one time thing where he treated you badly. But rather, he treats you like a princess. He doesn’t even let a fly land on your skin but yet, you choose to leave him. 

He treats you right and you left him. 

And just before he laid an eye on you, someone pulled you aggressively and now, you’re running. 

“Oh my god, Y/N! He almost saw you!” Ji-woo was looking around as she was checking if there is a suspicious person near the both of you. She’s already panicking while you’re in there standing like an idiot. 

“I was talking with the seller and she suddenly talked about Jungkook who’s always visiting the area in the hopes to see you! And she mentions that because he’s literally in the area! Oh dear. What if they saw you? They saw us? We should probably leave now!” Before you know it, she’s pulling your hands and both of you are running once again. 

—

“Y/N, can you get the plate for me? The food is ready to be served.” Ji-woo’s mother looked at you and you immediately responded by getting the precise plate for the dish.

“You call Ji-woo outside. Seung-won won’t join us for lunch.” She added after you bring her the plate she asks you. 

It’s been two days since you saw Jungkook in the public market yet you felt like it happened just a second ago. Everything happens in a swift way. Ji-woo is pulling you and before you know it, you’re back at the top of the mountain where you’re alone with the Choi family once again. 

Your life cycle was still the same as usual. You wake up, help Ji-woo's mother in cleaning and cooking, eat, rest, sleep and repeat. Everything is still the same but your standpoint is slowly changing as the day goes by which you find complicated. You’re not just having a hard time dealing with yourself but you are also troubling the people around you. 

When you are opening your eyes in the morning, you were hoping that you would remember something from your past. Who you are, who your family is, what your life looks like or how you are in a relationship with Jungkook. You were hoping that you will remember at least one of them but they never come.

On a second thought, you did remember a memory of you in the past. You were having a sexual intercorse with Jungkook in his bed. It was a vague memory but you were certain that it did happen. You don’t understand why out of all the memories you had, it was the memory that you remember and you don’t even know if it's relevant to your life. 

That is the one memory you have and nothing more. You don’t have a choice but to make it your basis from your past and all your standpoint is slowly trembling because of that one memory you have. 

Your life would be better if you were really a part of the Choi family. Your life is simple and the place where you live is spectacular because of huge and refreshing trees, peaceful place and you always love watching the sunset. 

You’re content with the life that the Choi family allows you to have but you should look outside the box. You were still a stranger to them and there will be a time that you have to leave because you’re not really a part of them. They were just nice and generous to let you stay with them until you figured things out. 

You were trying to hide behind the Choi’s.

But everyone and everything that’s hiding will always be found. 

—

The weather is good, the air is always fresh, you can already reach the clouds from the sky, and you were having a wonderful day with the Choi’s. 

You were cooking a native dish outside the house to eat later this afternoon. 

You are happy. Until you’re not.

They were outside the house and you went inside to get the ingredients that are needed for the dish that you’re cooking. You are humming while you’re arranging the ingredients that you’ll bring outside and once you’re done, you grab them with the help of your two hands.

You haven’t even taken a step when Ji-woo suddenly appears in front of you. Her both eyes were wide and she looked agitated and she’s panicking. You were about to call her by her name when she suddenly pulled your arm inside your room where you’re sleeping.

“Whatever happens, don’t make a noise.” She warned you in a monotone voice as she closed and locked the door. She grabs the tupperware that you’re holding and places it on a table before she sticks her right ear on the door. 

You don’t know what’s happening but you know that it’s bad and it makes you nervous with how Ji-woo is acting. 

“What’s happening?” You whispered. She looked at you before she pulled you far away from the door. 

“They’re here. The people of Jungkook are here to find you, Y/N.”

It was like you’ve been doused with cold water and you can’t move. Your head felt like spinning and you were about to pass out. 

“How come—

“Shhh!”

She turned away before she returned in front by sticking her ear on the door. The room is filled with silence and you don’t hear a thing until you hear voices from outside of the house. 

“Who owns this dress?” A man speaks.

The house is small for you to hear what they are talking about.

“My wife’s.” You heard Seung-won respond. 

There was silence for a moment until you heard a man speak again.

“I don’t think that this dress will fit on your wife. I saw her a while ago.” 

The dress that they’re talking about belongs to you. It was the dress that you wore when you left his place and you were still wearing it up until now. You gasp when you realize that the dress is hanging outside because you had laundry yesterday.

“Can we check your house real quick?”

“No! That’s against the law! You don’t even have a search warrant.”

Everything happens so fast. You heard that Seung-won and Ji-woo’s mother are already shouting outside and Ji-woo is already panicking with you. She’s pulling her hair while she’s walking back and forth. 

“We should leave!” She said before she opens the door to peek outside and when she confirms that the inside of the house is clear, she opens it widely before she pulls your hand. 

At the back of the house, there’s a door going outside and both of you immediately exit the house. Both of you were rushing going the opposite way where the front door is. Ji-woo is looking around while you’re looking where the people of Jungkook are located and there, you see again the man you saw in the public market. He was fiercely standing in front of another man who’s attacking Seung-won. Your surroundings went in slow motion when you saw the scene for a few moments. Everything is a mess and you cannot believe that it all happens at once. 

It will take a few minutes before you can reach the streets from where you’ve been but with how fast you and Ji-woo, it only took you a second to reach the main street going to the town. After you’ve landed to the ground, both of you stop to catch your breath. Ji-woo rests her hands on her knees and you lean on the pole beside you. 

The streets were empty. There’s no car passing by and there’s no people that can be seen. You look up at the sky and the sun that’s shining a while ago is now covered with thick clouds. It looks like it’s about to rain.

You can’t believe that everything turns upside down on just a one snap of a finger. 

“Our house is far from here and we don’t have a vehicle as of the moment.” Ji-woo said while also looking around. “We can’t be walking on the street right now.”

Ji-woo is speaking and it’s almost like she’s already talking to herself. You cannot even utter a word and were just watching her go crazy.

It’s ironic that you should be the one having her reactions instead of her but here you are, standing like a 3 year old kid that’s waiting for her mother to decide for the both of you.

“I know a friend! We can go there first since it’s nearer than our house.” 

She walked on the opposite side where both of you are facing and this time, she didn’t pull you. 

You notice how she’s been always pulling you to get out of the situation you don’t want you to be in. She pulls you away when Jungkook almost sees you at the public market, she pulls you going inside the room to hide and she pulls you when you escape the house of her mother to avoid getting caught by Jungkook’s men. 

She’s always the one who helped you get away while you were always acting stupid with everything. 

When Ji-woo noticed that you weren't following her, she looked back and walked back to you. 

“We should hurry! They might catch us!” She extends her hand for her to pull you once again but you resist.

“Unnie.”

She looked at you confused. You slowly let go of your wrist from her grip.

“I think we should stop this.” You spoke and she immediately frowned from what you just said.

“What are you saying?” She asked in a low voice.

“I can’t keep hiding like this. I can’t keep hiding with you.” Tears were now forming on your eyes and you inhaled deeply to prevent it from falling. 

“What do you mean? It’s okay. We can reach at the house of my friend in no time—

“No. I should… stop.” Your voice is getting lower as tears escape your eyes. She immediately went to caress and wipe your tears before she hugs you and with her warmth, you cry louder in her embrace. 

“We can deal with this. You have us, Y/N.” She spoke as she rubbed your back and you shook your head.

“That’s not what I mean. I should stop this because nothing will happen and things will only get worse.” You said as you sobbed.

That’s the reality that you keep denying to yourself. No matter where and how you hide, he will manage to find you. You will only make a fool of yourself when you continue to hide because you will only trouble the people around you and nothing will happen. 

You pulled away and you looked at her. 

“You’ve done enough, Unnie. You, Seung-won oppa and your mom have done enough for me and I will forever be thankful.” You sob and she was about to speak but you hush her.

“I feel bad that I seek help from your family even though I don't know who you are yet, you still accept me and treat me as a family and I will be forever grateful because I don’t know what will be the worst thing that will happen to me if you didn’t let me in when I was in front of your house, begging for you to help me.”

A strong wind blows on your face, an indication that there’s a chance to rain. You look down on your feet and Ji-woo grabs both of your wrists.

“I understand that you feel bad but we’re open to always help you because we know the situation that you have and we won’t let bad things happen to you. We will help you to gain your memory until you are finally able to go back home. If you feel like you’re a burden, then I will tell you that you’re not. We’re glad that we had a chance to meet a wonderful woman like you.” She’s also crying already and she hugs you for a second time. 

“That’s not only my concern, unnie. Do you remember when I was having intense pain and I told you that I remembered a memory with him?” She nodded before you continued. “It was a memory of me having sex with him.” Her eyes widened and her  mouth agape when she heard what you’ve just said.

"I don't understand why out of all the memories I had, it's the memory that I remember. Everyday when I wake up, I'm praying that I will remember something in my past that can be linked to who I am, who my family is or even who's Jeon Jungkook in my life. But I remembered nothing." You sighed heavily letting your head drop before you wipe your eyes. 

"I can't help but make it my basis from my past because that's the only memory I have. What if I'm really in a relationship with him and he's only helping me to recover? That everything that he's been doing to me is for my own sake?" You covered your face as you let go of your heavy cries. 

You never expect that you will be able to tell her your thoughts about this. You’re just taking everything to yourself considering that you don’t know how to talk about your own feelings and thoughts because ever since you’re with him, you never used to talk about it and you would prefer to keep it to yourself.

You keep it to yourself until it overflows and now, you explode.

A loud thunder roared furiously in the sky. The surroundings are getting dark and it’s about to rain. Ji-woo hasn't said a word afraid that she’ll say something wrong.

“What if what I want to believe is actually wrong and I’m just making a fool out of myself.” You wipe your tears once again before you look at her. You’re already exhausted and you just want to end this.

“I can’t run anymore because I might be running on the wrong path.” You looked at the sky and it thundered once again before you heard a drop of rain from afar. 

“Do you want to think about it carefully or do you… want to go back?” Ji-woo asked after her long silence. You looked at her and you smiled painfully.

“I’ve already thought about it hundreds of times and it exhausted me enough. I’m going back.” A rain started to pour on your face and you closed your eyes as you cried along with the rain.

From that, both of you and Ji-woo are in silence embracing the coldness of the rain. As the rain is getting heavy and louder, you slowly try to calm yourself down and let go of the heavy feeling you have. It feels like a lump on yourself has been removed when you finally decided on what to do because you’ve been killing yourself by making yourself exhausted. 

“If that’s what you really want,” You glance at Ji-woo as she speaks. “Then I’m going to go with you.”

You’re walking along with her in silence to reach the nearest bus station while the rain is still pouring. It’s like you’ve reset that you cannot even process the things that happened but you felt better. Like it’s your first time to feel relief. 

You still can’t believe that you will go back after all the things that happened to you. You’ve done a lot yet you still choose to go back. It may be ridiculous but you’ve decided that it’s the best thing to do in the situation you have. 

The bus dropped you off in a place where it’s only 500 meters away from the rest house and as your distance is getting close, that’s the only time that you feel anxious but you slide it away because you’re already here and there’s no turning back.

“I guess, I’ll just stay here until you finally enter. But I’m still going to watch you.” Ji-woo smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. Both of you said their final goodbyes before you continued to walk.

The rain continues to pour and you’re getting numbed at the coldness of it. 

It was raining when you did your escape and it’s still raining when you decided to go back. 

You looked at the sky before you finally showed yourself in front of the gate. It didn’t last long until the guards noticed you. They’re surprised as expected and they immediately open the gates for you. 

One of the guards pulled his walkie and he radioed someone. “Mr. Jeon! Y/N is in here!” 

After a few moments, the double doors were opened and from there, you saw him wearing his office attire and at his back is where his men were. 

His eyes shine from afar like he has seen a diamond in a treasure box. 

Despite the heavy rain, he’s running fast towards you. Like it was his only chance that he can see you even though you won’t be going anywhere. 

And with a blink of an eye, he’s all over you. You never realize that you’re getting cold until his embrace brings warmth in you. He hugs you so tight and even with the heavy rains, you can clearly hear his broken sobs from your neck.

“I thought I won’t be able to see you again! I thought you won’t be going back! I thought you’d be gone forever! I missed you and I almost died when you’re not here! Please don’t do that again, baby. I’m begging you. You can’t leave me alone!” He spoke so fast like it’s the only chance that he can say everything to you. His hugs are getting tighter and you can barely breathe.

You gently rub his back in an attempt to calm him down. You felt his hot breaths on your neck when rests his left cheek on your left shoulder as he still sobs. 

“We should head inside. The rain is pouring.” You spoke and he slowly pulled away to look at you.

You’ve known him for his serious and intimidating personality and right now, he’s the complete opposite. He looked like a kid who cried so much with his red and puffy eyes, red nose and red plumpy lips.

You didn’t realize what you made him turn into. 

“Why did you run away? Why did you leave me, baby?” He broke down once again and you have no choice but to caress his face and wipe his tears away in the hopes that he’ll calm down.

“We’ll talk later but now, we have to go inside.” You tried to talk to him in a softer  voice and he nodded before he wrapped his hands on your waist and walked inside the house. 

As you step inside, you look around and everything is still the same but there are only a few maids that’s going around and nurses aren’t visible. Once the maid saw you, they immediately assisted you by wrapping you with a towel and drying your hair. They assisted you on your way to your room and helped to get yourself cleaned and dry. 

It’s the only time you notice something after you’re finally alone in your room. The smell of the room isn’t what it used to be. It smells like a fresh lime with the soft, sweet scent of vanilla. It smells exactly like Jungkook. 

You’ve also noticed that the bedsheets were still the same before you left and you’ve seen some of your clothes on the top of the bed—below the pillow in specific. Before you even analyze everything, the door slowly opens and you see him standing in front before he decides to enter the room. He’s wearing his sleepwear. Oversized shirt and pajamas. You admitted that this is your favorite outfit of his as he looks adorable and less intimidating. 

He doesn't break his eye contact as he walks towards you and when he’s in front of you, he slowly raises his palms to stroke both of your cheeks before he gently pulls your nape and pressed his forehead on yours. 

“You left this house and you willingly returned. Why is that, baby?” He asked in his delicate voice. It took you a few moments before you answered. 

“Cause I missed you.” His hands traveled at your back before he snaked his arms on your waist.

“Do you have an idea on how I’ve been when you’re away?” He asked and he rested his right cheek on your right shoulder. 

“You’re finding me.”

“That’s given already, baby. But did you know what I've been through?” you didn’t know how and what to answer so you only stayed silent. He looks at you once again as he caresses your face. “I lost my mind because I don’t know what to do. In the first few days, I thought it’s already the worst but when you’re already gone for a week, I died. I may be breathing but I died inside, baby.” He slowly strokes his fingers on your hair. “You killed me when you chose to leave, Y/N.”

You’ve thought of his state where you could never imagine. A pang of guilt filled you as you can’t admit to yourself that you regret leaving him.

“I slept in your room hoping that I can still feel your presence when you’re away and it helps me to keep me sane. I lie on your bed and imagine that you’re lying beside me even though you’re not.”

You stay in your position with him for a few moments as you embrace the silence between the two of you. “How about you? How have you been?” He asks after a long silence and he gently tucked on your ear the remaining hair strands that’s covering your face. “I want to know everything, baby. From your reason why you left to the reason why you willingly returned.”

Now that you’re back in his arms, you’ve realized two things: you did really miss him and you regret leaving him. If the past you from months ago will see you right now, she won’t believe the choices you’ve made. 

You’ve done a lot to prove yourself that he’s the bad guy but now, you have returned in his embrace. 

You slowly accept the fact that the only memory you have from the past and even in the present is him and nothing else. 

End.

—

Note: it finally ended, yay! Thank you for reading and supporting the seat of power series and I appreciate it so much! I do enjoy writing the series and I’m happy that I got to finish writing it because there are times that I lose my interest in continuing to write a series but this time, I really enjoyed it! Again, thank you for the support on this series! ♡

[footprintsinthesxnd]

The Good Die Young

Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of graphic themes, war, injury, weapons, sexual images, language, 18+. Pairings: Jake Seresin × f!reader. Disclaimer: This is a series reflecting on the true events of the US Marines in WW2. All of the characters are fictional and not based off are original characters (except for Jake Seresin) and they are not representations of the real, brave men who fought in WW2. I have tried to make all the events in this series as accurate as possible but please bare in mind this is fanfiction and i have added/ changed certain things to fit with this.

December 1943

Dearest Jake,

I can’t believe it has been four months since you left us. It feels like only yesterday that you were here, safe in my arms. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through. I hear reports on the news and from the papers that things are bad but I believe no man can sum up what it is like if he had not been in the war himself. I have seen the brotherhood you have formed first-hand and the love that you share for each other. I only hope your love for each other is enough to get you through what is to come.

The papers bring the never-ending news of the war. I am kept busy with new articles. The latest being the death toll. With each name and age I write down my heart breaks a little more. I fear that most of them are no more than boys - just children really. Not even old enough to buy alcohol and yet they are old enough to fight for a war they do not understand. I fear that this war is far from over, I wish I could bring better news on that front.

We are both doing well here though. My tiny bump has started to show and Fern keeps making fun that soon my clothes will not fit me but I do not mind. This little one is a part of you that I carry with me always and will continue to do so until you return to me and we can be a family at last.

I hope you can celebrate Christmas wherever you are. I don’t have many plans for Christmas, it doesn’t seem right celebrating it when you are stuck in some foxhole or on a ship god knows where.

My heart aches for you, my love. I pray each night for your safe return.

Yours always

Y/n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my dearest Y/n,

You do not know how much relief I felt to receive your letter. Your words are my light in these dark times.

Christmas here on the ship is not the same as at home. We had a hearty Christmas dinner and sang some carols but I’d much rather have been with you than stuck here. As you can imagine, the company of George and Frank for Christmas Day doesn’t compare to you.

Edward drew me a picture of you for Christmas. The picture you sent me ended up getting coffee split on it by Frank one morning and was ruined. He’s drawn you almost from memory. I never realised how good of an artist he was but his talents are wasted here. Now I can cherish a drawing of you, close to my heart as always.

I hope you're safe this Christmas. I hope you can enjoy it with your friends and if I don’t get to write to you again, I hope you have a good new year.

I miss you Y/n. I miss you every day but just know that you are what gets me through each day, the thought of you and our child is all I need to help me through.

Yours always

Jake

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Britain - December 1943

Jake flinched, smacking his neck as he killed another mosquito. “Fucking things!” He protested as George laughed at him, the cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth.

“What ‘ave you got to laugh about Lover Boy? Still writing letters to Florence?” Jake craned his neck to see the letter but George quickly stuffed it into his pocket, along with the drawing of Florence that Edward had done for Christmas. “None of your damn business, Cowboy.”

It turned out that Edwards' gift to everyone had been a drawing. Most of them were of the girls they loved but for Johnny, Edward had drawn his spaniel, Daphne. Johnny was over the moon and was no longer bothered by the others' teasing when it came to Daphne. ‘You’ll see what I mean when you meet her boys. She’s quite the catch.’

The pair laughed as George stood to help Jake tie the last rope for their canopy around the tree, it wasn’t much but at least it would keep the worst of the rain off them. The hope of keeping dry in the jungle was limited and once the rain began, the heavens opened and it poured for hours. Most nights Jake barely slept, too busy watching the rain fall and listening to the noise of the forest to sleep.

“What are you reprobates doing?” Frank boomed, jokingly stalking over to his fellow Marines. “You think it’s funny so you.” He wiggled his eyebrows at the pair, a new cigarette balanced behind his ear ‘For later’ he always said but it would often fall out and be lost somewhere along the way.

Jake only laughed, “Don’t worry Sarge, you're still number one.” Frank laughed, smacking Jake on the back heartily.

“Congratulations Cowboy, looks like the Marine Corps did make something out of you after all.”

Jake shook his head. He’d recently been promoted to Staff Sergeant and it had brought with it a never-ending string of teasing comments from his friends, all meant in the usual joking fashion.

“How’s that girl of yours doing?” Frank asked smugly. He’d been the first to find out Y/n was pregnant and after the initial congratulations he followed with a never ending line of ‘Bun in the Oven’ jokes.

“Should have put a ring on her first, Cowboy.” Really though Frank was happy for him, the thought of a baby filled the group with hope for the future.

“Well I’m sorry to break up the party fellas but just because you're on machine guns doesn’t mean you're missing out on the patrol. Mortar squads are going too so I want you two with Shorty and Mary.”

“You got it, Harvard,” Jake swung his Springfield over his shoulder, lending George a hand and pulling him to his feet. “Let’s go catch us some Japs.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rain trickled down through the canopy, soaking the thin, mesh blanket that covered the lower half of Jake’s body. He groaned, rolling onto his side and watching as a single stream of water dripped into the large, muddy swell that surrounded the tent. The murky water reflected the moon, rippling it across the puddle with each gust of wind. Jake watched it sadly, wondering whether Y/n were looking at the same moon. He often wondered what she was doing, whether she would be eating breakfast or going to work or out with her friends. His life here felt so distant from the life he had with her.

“JAPS! THEIR COMING!” It always amazes Jake what came after those three words. Men dashed to their posts half awake, half-dressed and unable to form a coherent sentence but could fire off a round of mortars like it was nothing. Jake grabbed the barrel of the Browning Machine Gun whilst George posited the baseplate along the tree line. Neither of them cared how wet they were getting now, their helmets creating a shield against the worst of the rain but still allowed it to run over the rim and straight down their backs, soaking down into their trousers.

“MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!” Jake and George sat in complete silence, their eyes scanning the tree line at the edge of the clearing. Jake could hear his heart beating loudly in his ear, the rhythmic thudding keeping in time with his breathing.

“THEIR HERE!” And with that, the bullets start flying. Jake let out a cry as he squeezed the trigger, allowing the short burst of ammunition to fly into the darkness, an orange glow lighting the treeline as the bullets were fed through the gun. Between the shouts of other Marines, mortar pounding the earth and the gunfire Jake could hear his heartbeat increasing in time with the Browning's fire.

The fight was almost over before it began. “CEASE FIRE!” Jake’s ears were ringing, he rested his head against George’s shoulder who hugged him back. He never realised the bond he’d have between him and his fellow machine gunner but he could imagine being here without him. He pulled out his padded glove, lifting the now burning hot barrel of the machine gun from the plate. Jake wouldn’t be surprised if they’d need a replacement barrel for it soon, the number of rounds it had fired for them over time was impressive if not hellish at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Y/n,

I am afraid to say we lost Johnny last week. There was an attack in the middle of the night. I don’t know how it happened but I found him the next morning when we were clearing the bodies. I’ve never lost one of my friends before but to see him so lifeless, so deathly pale. Y/n I don’t know how any of us are going to make it out alive.

The group hasn’t been the same since. Frank is in a foul mood, he blames himself I think but he doesn’t want to admit that. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. The damn Japs will have hell to pay the next time How Company gets near them.

He had the picture of Daphne clasped in his fingers. I’ve kept it. I wasn’t able to throw it away so I sent it with this letter. I hope you will keep it safe for me.

We’ve left New Britain now. I don’t know where we are going but our group is stretched thin. We look worse each day and I don’t know how much more of this we can stand to take.

George is doing alright. He and I keep to ourselves mostly. He writes to Florence often and she writes back. He’s officially invited us to his wedding back in the States when the war is over. I don’t know where you want to live after the war but maybe we could visit my hometown while we are there. I know my Ma would love to meet you, she’s heard all about you (only good things I promise)

I miss you Y/n. I’ll miss you until you're in my arms again.

Yours always

Jake

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[beauty-and-passion]

FSS3 Episode 11: Broken

In order to understand, sometimes you have to let Anger do his job.

Updates every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

What is FFS3 - Introduction - Season 2 finale - previous episode - next episode

AO3 link for this episode

DISCLAIMER: As said in the introductory post, Fanders Sides Season 3 (season 2 finale included) could have triggering themes/scenes. Please keep that in mind before reading.

_______________________________

PREMISE: if I were Mr. Sanders and had to play this episode, I would never use my family - also because I believe the Sanders family is made of wonderfully supporting people.

But since this is fiction and we need drama, I would instead use some actors and open the episode by clarifying that this is a work of fiction and it has nothing to do with Thomas Sanders’ real family. I know people already learned the difference between Mr. Sanders and Character!Thomas, but better safe than sorry.

I would also change all names, just to be sure. And for the sake of simplicity, I also gave Character!Thomas two brothers and not three, just for the sake of avoiding too many characters.

_______________________________

The door opens and Thomas is welcomed by his brothers.

We get to know them a little more, while they exchange pleasantries: the older brother is a doctor, while the second brother is the head of administration in a company. They are both married, but have no kids. (From now on, I will refer to them by using their jobs.)

Thomas tells them about Nico: his job, his ambitions, his skills, his beautiful lyrics. He shows them a few of their videos together and they’re both happy to see Thomas found a boyfriend. But why didn’t Thomas bring Nico with him today? They would’ve loved to know him in person!

Thomas gives them a look: maybe they would’ve been happy to meet Nico and maybe mom and dad would be happy too. But grandpa and grandma…

The doctor rolls his eyes: grandma already asked them why they still don’t have any kids and grandpa lectured them for 20 minutes about the importance of having kids before they get too old.

The three brothers share a knowing look. Same as always, Thomas comments.

While they’re talking, Thomas’ parents appear. They're both retired, but keep pursuing hobbies and doing small works, so they look very lively.

They immediately ask Thomas about his job and he tells them about his recent auditions. He still got no reply, but maybe he will in a few days. Both his parents are very supportive and glad to see him.

And then, Thomas finally meets his grandparents. His grandma is a nice old lady and she looks extremely happy to see him. She tells him how big he is, what a beautiful man, how are you my boy and so on. They talk about their health too: Thomas tells them about the first random pains, and they tell him about their chronic ones. Despite them, his grandpa is still quite active and his grandma undergoes regular medical check-ups.

His grandma reassures him that aside from all of that jazz, they both rely on God’s will. They pray every day, for the entire family. And especially for their precious little Thomas, who is still so alone, poor boy.

Thomas sighs: he knows how this story goes. Still, he reassures them that everything’s okay, he’s fine, he can cook (read: he can order delivery), he can clean his house (even if he doesn’t do it regularly) and he’s self-sufficient.

Still, his grandparents act as if he said nothing: Thomas is a man, he should find a good wife, who takes care of him and the house! He needs a good woman who will cook him a meal! And they should have children as soon as possible, otherwise Thomas will get too old to properly grow them.

Thomas’ expression morphs from exasperated to pissed: he says they already talked about that. Every. Single. Time. And no, he still doesn’t want a wife. He doesn’t want a woman - any woman! He likes men.

His grandma shakes her head. Thomas talks like that, because he never found the right one. Once he will find the right woman, he will understand.

Should they help him find one?, his grandpa suggests. There’s the daughter of that friend, who is single too and she’s a beauty and she’s a bit younger than Thomas, but even better, so she can have more children…

Look at your brothers, his grandma adds, holding his hand. They’re both married and happy, because they found the right woman. You can be like them.

Thomas takes a step back, escaping from his grandma’s touch. He said it 200 times: no woman can change what he feels, because there’s no “right woman” to find. He doesn’t want a woman.

You talk like that, but God will bring you the perfect wife… his grandma adds, but this time it’s Thomas’ father who tries to change the topic. They already had this conversation over and over again, it’s useless. This isn’t a phase, Thomas likes men and that’s all.

It’s because you spoiled your kid, the grandpa says. You always let him win and now, look at him: he lives all alone in a house, doing an unstable job. Back in his days, kids were disciplined from an early age, so they didn’t get any weird ideas about “liking men”. Maybe he should take care of Thomas’ discipline and call that daughter of their friend…

Thomas can’t take it anymore: he gets up and slaps the phone from his grandfather’s hand.

The phone hits the ground, everyone looks at him in shock. But Thomas has had enough: he repeated himself so many times, he lost the fucking count! He doesn’t want a woman. Any woman! It doesn’t matter if she’s the daughter of a friend, if she’s beautiful or if she’s a good cook or not. He. Doesn’t. Want. A. Woman. Period. He is gay, he likes men, MEN! And no, it’s not an illness and it’s not a whim nor a phase nor the lack of discipline. He likes men, he just likes men! What’s so fucking difficult to understand?! And before they bring up the “back in my days”: back in your days, children died of flu and there was a world war going on. Now it’s over, it’s the future! Things change, everything changes, why can’t they understand that things are DIFFERENT now?! It’s not so difficult, goddammit!

Thomas comes to his senses and realizes what he just did and said. His grandpa’s phone is still on the ground, his entire family still looks at him with shocked faces.

Thomas turns around and runs away. Once he exits the door, one of his brothers finally catches up with him: why is he running away, he should come back in and…

But Thomas stops him. He can’t go back. He knows his grandparents are old and everything, but he just can’t keep repeating the same thing over and over. He wants to be accepted for who he is. And he really should go now, because he’s still livid with rage. And if he stays, he will end up punching someone. So, it’s better if his brother leaves him too.

His brother’s grip loosens, Thomas jumps in his car and drives away.

°

Thomas is back home: he opens the door, slams it behind him and once he raises his head, the first person he sees is Anger, his back against the couch, his ankles crossed. On his face, the same sardonic smile he showed Thomas when he was driving towards his parent’s house.

Thomas suddenly remembers his words: “You will understand by yourself” and pure rage blinds him.

He verbally attacks Anger: everything was his fault! It’s because of him, he got so angry! It’s because of him, that he said all those things! It has always been because of him! Even when he was in middle school and got angry at his friend for doing a better job than him! Even when his ex-boyfriend didn’t like his hobbies! Every time, Anger was ruining his life from the shadows!

Anger reacts with a smile. Oh, please, everything he does is something Thomas wants. He is the one who wants to react to all the assholes that ruin his life. Anger is just the means to do that.

Virgil was right about you!, Thomas screams. You are impulsive and dangerous! I cannot talk like that to my family!

Oh, but it’s exactly because you never talked like that to your family, that you reached that point!, Anger replies. Thomas never stood up for himself, never defended his ideas. He grew up like a wimp, too scared to talk back to a couple of decrepit old folks with stale ideas.

And once he finally does it, he whines because oh no, maybe he offended these old hags!

Thomas gets so angry, that he grabs the first thing he finds (a TV remote) and throws it at Anger, who dodges it. He mocks Thomas: he even sucks at being angry.

Thomas replies that he’s not the one who sucks, it’s Anger who is an asshole.

Anger laughs: well, better being an asshole, than a weak! All Thomas does is undergo everything. He undergoes his job, Nico, his family, even religion. He’s weak, he’s pathetic, he clings to everyone in his life because he’s unable to do anything by himself.

I build my life and my work by myself!, Thomas replies. I chose my job, my home, my boyfriends and everything else, all by myself!

You chose to ruin yourself with your own hands, Anger says and his tone is cold rage. You locked away the Sides who could’ve helped you grow a spine and chose to keep around just the ones who agreed with everything you did. And you did that, because you are afraid of everything, especially of confrontation.

That’s not true at all!, Thomas replies, offended. He always takes a stand and tries his best to follow it!

Anger replies with a bitter, shrieking laugh. Does he? How? His beloved Core Sides aren’t even able to talk to each other! And every time there’s a moment of confrontation, Thomas prefers to run away from it, instead of facing it! He makes promises he doesn’t fulfill, he wants to improve himself and doesn’t change anything, he wants to give his Sides a better life and does nothing for them, he wants to confront his family and runs away.

Thomas’ voice grows frustrated: he’s trying! He’s really trying to become a better person! But he doesn’t always succeed! He still tries and insists, but it’s difficult! So difficult! He has to take a break and clear his mind and he hates it, he doesn’t want to be this weak, but he doesn’t know how to do better! He doesn’t know what to do!

Anger looks at him with a pitiful expression: see? You’re giving up even before trying. That’s what is wrong with you.

Thomas screams and, in a fit of rage, throws everything around: the stuff on his table, a cup against the wall, books, toys. Everything he finds, he just throws it.

What should I do?, he screams, but he’s not listening for a real answer: he’s just too blinded by rage.

And after he throws everything, after there’s nothing else he can destroy, after his voice gets sore for screaming this much, he falls on his knees and his rage melts into a long, liberating cry. Thomas cries, hitting the ground with his fists for a very long time, until exhaustion takes over and he ends up curled on himself, hiding his face between his hands.

He cries for a very long time and, during the entire time, Anger waits. He stands in front of Thomas, patiently waiting. He looks at how Thomas’ breath slowly calms down, how the sobs, slowly, come to an end.

After a long time, Thomas finally looks up at him.

And now, Anger asks and his tone is calm, what do you want to do?

Thomas sits on the floor. His face is still wet with tears, but his eyes are brighter, more focused, clearer. He has a lot of problems to solve, he says.

Start from the oldest, Anger suggests, with a simple shrug.

Thomas looks at him, then lowers his head. He gets up and sits on the couch. He gets as straight as possible and takes a deep, long breath.

Okay, Thomas says and his tone is firm, as well as the expression on his face. Time to give Logan the confrontation he has been waiting for all of his life.

Thomas closes his eyes.

_______________________________

END CARD

The camera pans to show us a location: a beach, the sea, the sun on the waves, a lighthouse. In front of it, there is a small line of rocks extending into the sea.

The camera shows us someone walking along these rocks. We don’t see the face, just its back: it’s a figure dressed in black.

The figure walks on the rocks and reaches the lighthouse. We see a hand opening the black door. With a flick of a blue tie, the figure enters the lighthouse and closes the door behind him.

_______________________________

AUTHOR’S NOTE

If you’re queer, you probably met people who told you stuff like this. People who don’t reject you entirely, who care about you. But are not able to accept that part of you.

I chose this and not the typical “I hate you because you’re gay, now get out of my house”, because there are already a lot of examples of that. I wanted to focus on something a little grayer, because I believe this is a lot more painful - especially for the queer person.

If a member of your family straight-up hates you, it’s “easier” to hate them in full. But if a family member still loves and cares about you and tells you all the time, while also telling all the wrong things - and not because they want to hurt you, but because they want to help you… that’s hard to bear. You have to balance the affection you feel for them, with their inability to handle that specific topic.

You might be able to do it. But you might snap too and end up saying everything you kept inside to not hurt them.

I chose that solution, as a perfect example of all of Character!Thomas’ life: he always avoided confrontation, until confrontation hit him in the face. And Anger, by being the embodiment of all the jealousy, disgust and fury Thomas always felt, knows all of this even too well. All he needed was a moment to throw everything out. To show Thomas the truth. And, consequently, to break him down completely.

But why? Because Thomas needed to break down. He cannot just feel bad for a while, then forget everything and keep going without actually solving any problem. Only after fully breaking down, he can get up and start getting things done. And now, thanks to Anger’s suggestion, he decided to start from the oldest problem.

Speaking of the endcard: why a lighthouse? Because I’m weak about my headcanon and because lighthouses are cool. But they work too, you’ll see ;)

The lighthouse I chose as a reference is this one (link 1 + link 2): the Cape Florida Lighthouse. That’s in Mr. Sanders’ state, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to reach it. Also, it’s very similar to the one I imagined.

( Support me on Ko-fi )

_______________________________

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[morgensternauroras]

Lyrical analysis of Taylor Swift's Exile

[Disclaimer: These are my interpretations, they may not be facts. I am human, I can be wrong.

If I say something factually incorrect, feel free to correct me. Add stuff in the replies if you see smth I may have missed. Also, because this is a duet, I will be using Taylor & Justin's names for their respective POVs. However, Taylor stated these songs on Folklore, while they are rooted in real emotion, are about fictional situations. So take that into account.]

Let's start by defining Exile

Exile (noun) - the state of being barred from one's native country, typically for political or punitive reasons.

Exile is a song following 2 exs after their breakup, reflecting on it and telling their respective perspectives on the end of their relationship. The song's theme is rooted in miscommunication and lack of understanding.

So we are introduced to Justin's point of view first

I can see you standing, honey

With his arms around your body

Laughin’, but the joke’s not funny at all

He is describing seeing Taylor with different, new person. The 2nd lyric would imply they are not on perhaps a first date considering there is a physical intimacy there that seems natural, but the 3rd lyric describes the action we often attribute to newer relationships where we often up our reactions or fake them to make sure the other person is comfortable. I believe it is worth noting that this is Justin's pov. therefore, the joke may not be unfunny. It could be the jealousy talking, but if the joke actually is unfunny, the fact that he knows when her laughs are fake displays a level of closeness they used to share that would allow them him to distinguish fake and real laughs.

We could also say that perhaps he is not seeing her out and about literally, but rather simply thinking of a hypothetical scenario. The level of realness of the situation he (and later Taylor) is describing doesn't really play a part in the narrative. He doesn't need to see them on a date to percieve her quickly moving on with someone new.

And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Justin brings an interesting point up here. He is telling us it took his partner 5 minutes, a significantly short amount of time, to leave the relationship. She essentially just packed it up and left. There is a common pattern of men saying their girlfriends just left one day, that the breakup was sudden, but those same girlfriends say they mentally broke up with their ex 3 months ago. They got so tired and so disappointed that they emotionally detached and waited to get over a relationship mentally so they could leave in peace. There is a common perspective saying that men break up with a big argument and women just mentally detach slowly and leave. Of course, this isn't a rule, but I have certainly experienced it as a woman and I have seen my friends go through it. I like seeing it addressed in a song. We will return to this in Taylor’s verse :).

Holdin’ all this love out here in the hall

Taylor uses hallways in her music in the context of the transitional period prior to a relationship ending. Often referring to holding onto something that was relevant to the relationship. Justin's pov states that he loved her, so he is left in the hall holding onto that love because in his mind, the relationship ended suddenly.

While this song is co-written, I would like to bring attention to some other contexts in which she uses halls and hallways.

In Coney Island she is asked if she is standing in the hallway with a big cake, happy birthday. This lyric is often interpreted as a callback to The Moment I Knew, in which we find out the last straw was her then boyfriend missing her birthday after promising he'd be there.

In Maroon, she says her ex lover was standing hallow eyes in a hallway and mentions how he mistook carnations as roses. Roses in general are considered romantic flowers, often attiributed to longer lasting relationships, they also are easy to preserve and often keep their shape for a long time; while carnations are often attributed to prom flowers, young love that won't last. In essence, the breaking point is miscommunication and realizing that the relationship simply won't last, it's not mature enough to last.

In You're Losing Me her ex is running down the hallway, and she mentions how "you know what they all say" how he won't know what he has until it's gone. As in he is rushing towards that pre-breakup moment, that breaking point.

I think I’ve seen this film before

And I didn’t like the ending

Films in Taylor's discography are also not a new thing. In The 1 she says the greatest films of all time were never made while referring to a past relationship she views as sweet and fun, a relationship that was really something.

In This Is Me Trying she refers to a flashback (so we can assume a part relationship, romantic of not) on a film reel that played on the onlt screen in her town. So this relationship was significant to her and she looks back on it. It is at some point the central point of her life.

There is an entire song called If This Was a Movie where she is asking an ex to come back to her.

So movies and films are often a retrospective, potentially romanticized look at a relationship that was mostly good.

The one time she breaks this pattern is Hoax, where she refers to herself a hero who dies and asks what the point of the movie is for. The song is seemingly about a toxic relationship.

Justin is essentially saying he is noticing a pattern (of relationships ending) and he doesn't like where this is going.

You’re not my homeland anymore

So what am I defending now?

Taylor’s songs often refer to a lover as a place, I mean she will eventually end up writing a song where she refers to an ex as 'London.' But the concept of a home town being a metaphor for a lover is far from new.

In Long Story Short she says her lover feels like home, in Down Bad her same old town feels so hollow after a breakup, in False God she says her lover is looking at her like she is not his favorite town after what seems like an argument, etc.

Defending her "home town" or the person who feels like home. Is also something Taylor has referenced before. For example, in Peace she says she'd sit in the trenches with her lover.

In this case, Justin is saying that since his ex is no longer his homeland, there is no point in defending her anymore. Defending an ex one still has feelings for is not unheard of. We can still feel a sort of attachment to that person, even if what we had is now over. So this is Justin essentially referring to this feeling of duty, fighting this need, this habit of defending an ex.

You were my town, now I’m in exile, seein’ you out

This line basically confirms my previous points, but it also points to a feeling of displacement, loss of balance even. They are using towns and exile as a metaphor because they are equading their relationship to a town, but the feeling of exile after a relationship can refer to loss of other people, such as mutual friends, after the relationship ends.

Now Taylor’s part begins

I can see you starin', honey

Like he's just your understudy

Some of the lyrics in her perspective change, of course. She says her ex is seeing her with her new lover and that he is staring at them, as if the new lover is an understudy, a replacement, someone who learned to play a part belonging to somebody else if the need arises for a replacement. Those replacements are often temporary and done by people less qualified than the original. This furthers the idea of film as a theme, although understudys are more often used as a reference to plays and theater.

Again, this situation she is describing may not be a real scenario, it could just be her thinking about what he would do in a made-up scenario.

Like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me

This contrasts Justin's previous line about defense. Taylor is saying that he looked ready to fight this understudy for her, try and win her back somehow. Justin looks jealous, like he wants to be with her again. This also won't remain the only time Taylor's songs use knuckles in lines about holding onto a relationship. We see it again in The Great War and So Long London which are both about relationships going through hardships.

Second, third, and hundredth chances

Taylor essentially goes back to my earlier point, while her lover views the relationship's ending as something sudden, Taylor is saying that she gave him hundreds of chances. This also seems like a pattern in Taylor's music which was explored in songs like You're Not Sorry and The Last Time. Taylor describes not a sudden end, but a slow painful falling apart of a relationship. Sometimes it is not one single big thing that breaks us, it's a million little things that add up.

Balancin’ on breaking branches

Again, Taylor confirms their relationship was fragile even before, she had to balance multiple issues within their relationship, but every time she'd give a chance, the branch she was balancing on would proceed to break underneath her. It's a similar sentiment to what she says in Haunted.

Those eyes add insult to injury

She is referring to the jealous, fight-ready look her ex lover has, causing her even more pain. The reason for their breakup was miscommunication and lack of mutual understanding and the look he is giving her new partner further confirms that lack of understanding.

I'm not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

While Justin 's verse referred to his ex as his town, Taylor's refers to herself as his problem. We can interpret this in 2 ways.

1) Taylor isn't aware that her ex still has feelings for her, therefore she sees herself as something he dealt with that is now no longer an issue.

2) (and in my opinion the more likely interpretation based on the context) Taylor is being spiteful, the use of 'problem' is sarcastic as she previously states she gave him a hundred chances. For me this is further solidified in the line that follows.

She clearly knows she is seen as the offending party in the relationship, as the percieved reason the relationship ended. She left (in his opinion suddenly) therefore the problem was her. She moved on first, she detached first, therefore she is the offending party.

The word offending is also a clever way to contrast the 2 completely different perspectives. As it is a complete opposite of 'defending.' So that's a clever writing trick used in the writing of the song to further exaggerate the differences in their views.

You were my crown, now I’m in exile, seein’ you out

In this lyric, Taylor puts her ex, in a way, above her by using the word crown. While I have seen a few people interpret this as a patriarchal power dynamic thing, I don't agree with that interpretation. Yes, the town is ruled by a crown, but in this case, I think the more obvious answer is easily found. In a monarchy, the crown is the one who exiles individuals. Therefore, this is a subtle way Taylor points out that she didn't just 'pack it up and leave him,' she was forced to make that choice because of his actions, lack of understanding, and lack of change.

In a way, she is blaming him for the breakup, the same way he blames her.

I think I've seen this film before

So I'm leaving out the side door

Now for my favorite lyric change in the song! While both of them mention recognizing the pattern and not liking where this is going, this is Taylor saying she is refusing to watch the hypothetical ending of the film. Instead, she is taking initiative, taking the narrative into her own hands, finding an alternative way out.

The bridge is where the song transitions from showing us their perspectives into more of a conversation between the 2.

So step right out, there is no amount

Of crying I can do for you

Justin seemingly acknowledges and responds to Taylor’s previous statement, telling her to go ahead because there is no amount of crying he can do for her, meaning he believes there is nothing he can do to make her change her mind, nothing to fix their relationship (presumably because he didn't see the signs and didn't believe there was anything that would need fixing, at least not by him specifically) .

All this time

We always walked a very thin line

This is also where Justin's perspective acknowledges that they did actually walk a thin line, that there were problems, the relationship was fragile. The line feels very reminiscent of Haunted, and Taylor saying in that song how her and this person walked a fragile line and she had actually known it all this time, but she never thought she'd see it break. [For the record, no, I don't believe Exile is about John, I just felt the need to point out the parallel].

You didn't even hear me out (You didn't even hear me out)

Both of them then proceed to claim the other didn't hear them out, and this can, of course, be true for a whole list of reasons. Not every case of someone not being heard out is intentional. It could be because they were putting their own problems first, because their communication was bad in general, because they didn't want to directly point out problems, etc. It's more about the feeling of being unheard which can lead people to feel less valued, or even less loved.

You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

And again, while Justin's pov says he was given no warning, no reason to believe they had come to their breaking point, Taylor’s pov reiterates that she did give signs, she gave many and he never noticed them.

All this time

I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind)

I couldn’t turn things around (You never turned things around)

Their back and forward continues, he admits that he never learned to read her mind, that he couldn't pick up on those subtle signs.

While he is saying that because of that he couldn't turn things around, her pov uses a different work, she says it's not that he couldn't, he didn't turn things around. Because ok, fine, he can't read her mind, but she mentions again that she gave so many signs so surely one registered and if so, then not turning things around seems like a deliberate choice or at least an act of surrender.

The song ends on a similar note, with Justin once again saying she gave no signs. They never reach an agreement on whay happened because that very rarely happens, but also, the point where they can reach an agreement of their relationship ending was never the intended theme of the song.

Relationships end, both parties do not have the same story about how it ended because they experienced it differently. That's life, not much we can do about it, maybe someday the 2 could reach an agreement if they had a conversation about it, but not at this point when emotions are high.

[errihaienx]

Hello!! Can I have a request hq characters reaction on being prank by their girlfriend. The prank will be the girlfriend will be fake texting someone while laughing while they are doing something on their phone. Thank youuu, love ur works btw. 🫶🏼

Hiii i am not quite sure who among all of the hq characters shall i write reaction on. so i applied multiple characters(characters who i am familiar with, i can't include everyone T^T) by the reaction that i think they will have during the prank! thank you for loving my works ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡

(REQ!)

quick disclaimer: these scenarios don't affect the original plot of the series. any information or events that contradict the original plot are purely fictional. (i do not own any of the characters) (I did not proofread this)

⠀:¨ ·.· ¨:⠀ ⠀ `· . ୨୧⠀HQ MEN REACTING TO YOUR 'FAKE TEXTING SOMEONE' PRANK

SUNA, Tsukishima, Kenma, Kunimi

"I KNEW IT BUT WHY AM I SO GRUMPY"

Actually saw and knew about the trend, but he didn't expect you to do this, so when he found out you were following the trend, he was taken aback.

though what he couldn't understand is why the hell is he grumpy and displeased about it even though he knows that it is just a prank

"Heyy, your mouth could reach the ground, stop pouting! you knew it was a prank, so why are you acting like that"

"You're such a child, why are you even doing those things?" he said sharply.

If you've just been his girlfriend for a short time, his remarks will hurt you, but at this point you just know that it's either his love language or he was born that way.

"So who's the grumpy one because I did some 'childish stuff'?" you laughed

You returned to the prank and began typing random letters while giggling, and then your phone was taken away in a matter of seconds.

"Hey! what are you doing!"

He checked your phone with strained brows, then handed it to you, his countenance considerably calmer now.

"What did you do?"

"I don't usually check phones coz that's your privacy but I can't help it, stop that antics of yours and just cuddle me that would've been better"

"I don't want to!"

"oh trust me you do"

OIKAWA, Atsumu, Kuroo, Terushima

"YOU DID ME SO DIRTY, I'LL BE DOIN' THE SAME >:("

It was a typical day for you and him; he was busy packing for an international match, at the same time you were laughing on your phone.

"What's the matter, babe?" He asked

He stopped doing his thing while his gaze fall upon you.

"N-nothing! I'm j-just talking with a friend.."

Your nervous chuckle made his eyebrow shot up. When he's packing his belongings, you usually help him, but he thinks it's strange because you're texting and giggling with someone else instead.

You snickered as you swiftly glanced at him, seeing his brow furrowed while stiffly folding his clothes.

That caused him to stare at you again, and this time he can't help himself.

"Babe."

"y-yeah?"

"Who are you texting."

"he's a-"

"He?! I haven't left yet and you are replacing me right away??"

You turned your phone off, trying not to giggle, and reached out your hand to him, which he ignored while looking at you.

"Explain." he sternly said, with his arms crossed.

"It was nothing! I just saw a video online about fake texting and I decided to-"

He interrupted you by laughing dryly. You handed him your phone and told him to check it himself if he was doubtful.

"I don't have to, I believe you. I can't just believe that you did this to me!"

You hugged him because he looked betrayed.

"Just wait until I start giggling and kicking my feet while texting someone!"

His childish words made you roll your eyes; he'll certainly never do this ever. He is totally committed to you.

SAKUSA, Kageyama, Ushijima

"UH YEAH OKAY GO ON, I'M HURT BUT I WON'T BE SAYIN' THAT TO YOU"

Your boyfriend arrived at your shared condo late at night. Tired and feeling a bit drowsy, you knew exactly what he needs. yourself

But, for the time being, he will not be getting that. You're busy pretending to text someone.

"My hugs..?"

You ignored him as you shifted your body so that it looked like you were hiding what you'd been doing.

"Love.. what are you doing?" he asked again

His voice was soft and desperate, so you kept typing random letters and let out a quick giggle that drew his attention.

"Oh are you talking with Sana-san?" he concluded

You finally looked at him with a grin on your face, finding his conclusion amusing.

"No, babe, I was talking with a male friend.. have you eaten?" you returned the question

You could see his eyes widen a little; he knew you didn't have any close male friends, so you expected him to question you. He, however, did not.

"Oh, okay.. go on continue talking to him."

His cold, trying-not-to-sound-jealous voice was hilarious, his ears growing red, and the way he acts in the next minutes confirms his jealousy.

He's always been this way; he's not the very jealous type, and when he is, he attempts to hide it and fails miserably. He'll be stiff and irritable, as though he doesn't know how to act.

After a few minutes had gone and you had not heard from him, you stood up and provided him a back hug.

"Hey baby, I was just kidding.. I missed you so much.."

He shifted his weight and is now facing you with a less tense manner, but his brow wrinkled clearly indicates that he needs a little clarification.

"You preferred to play some pranks on me rather than give me my hugs."

AKAASHI, Iwaizumi, Kita, Hinata, Sugawara, Osamu, Daichi

"I UNDERSTAND YOU MWA (ɔˆ ³(ˆᴗˆc)"

He got confused when he called you for dinner and you were still on your phone, texting and laughing constantly. especially since you had a motto "food always comes first!"

"My love? I called for you, you can continue that later.." He called again

He got your attention, and you acted annoyed by turning your phone off in a tetchy manner.

"Eat first, you were doing what?"

"I was messaging a friend, and he invited me to watch a movie with some of our mutual friends."

You assumed him to question you, but knowing your partner's personality, he didn't. You finished your dinner, but he's still all smiles!

What you expected did not come around, and guess what? He even insisted on driving you to the place you were going.

Because of how things played out, your prank was reversed, and you are now the one who is grumpy.

"Hmmm, why are you acting this way?" he gently asked as he kissed the furrow in your brow.

"Nothing!"

He laughed at your defensive tone, still holding you in his arms;

"I love you.."

THE BOKUTO ( my baby ! ‹𝟹 ) TYPE

he'll be so whiny lol

will be saying these for sure;

"heyyy who are you texting?"

"oh you're talking with a boy, okay! — WHAT A BOY????"

"baby you don't love me anymore??!"

"baby are you happier with him?"

"bAbY dOnT LeAve mE:("

please stop the prank and cuddle this babieee! ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎♡

HI EVERYONEE!!!! It's almost been a week, i am clearing up my requests and I have a post lineups that will be out very soon! I also got addicted creating dividers lmaoo. anyways, thank you for appreciating my works! see ya in few days! ₍ᐢ⸝⸝› ̫ ‹⸝⸝ᐢ₎

[fyodior]

𝑆𝑇𝐴𝑌 𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐸.

♙ pairing: son!fyodor x reader

♙ cw: DARK CONTENT!! (i)ncest, yandere!fyodor, vaginal sex, handjob, sub(ish) fyodor, 18+ only minors dni!! it is mentioned, but fyodor is an adult

♙ notes: starting off with a bang for my first 1k event fic, dedicated to my one and only beloved kal @hnnnnnnnmscorner ♡ ♡

♙ wc: 1.8k

⇢ dark content disclaimer: pls remember this is entirely fiction with absolutely NO reflection of reality! i do not condone this nor any other dc i write, pls just block or unfollow if you dont like it, and do NOT report or leave hate comments.

Your son, Fyodor, always seemed to have an emergency whenever you had a date set up.

“I need you, Mommy,” Fyodor whined over the phone, sniffling. Your heart broke hearing his despaired sobs, exactly like Fyodor knew it would. 

“Don’t worry, baby,” you cooed as you haphazardly gathered your belongings and offered your date an apologetic look. “Mommy’s here for you.”

Fyodor mumbled a sniffled thank you, before hanging up, as a knowing smirk spread across his face.

You had been single ever since Fyodor could remember, and to him, that’s how it needed to stay. As an only child, he always had all of your attention and was comfortably used to being the center of your world. You loved him more than anyone else, and Fyodor would be six feet under before he ever let that change.

You’d been through countless dates, had countless ­­almost­-boyfriends, but could never seem to understand why none of them stuck. Was your job too demanding? Did you not call or text enough? Were you just that unlikable? It was hilarious how oblivious you were.

You somehow couldn’t – or refused – to see how your son was purposely fucking up every potential romantic relationship so he could ensure he remained the most important person and thing in his life.

And he had a lot of fun doing it, too. He loved acting happy and supportive whenever you came home from work telling him about a new blind date you had been set up on because he loved seeing you smile, though the rage that bubbled up inside him thinking about your attention being on another man made him nauseous. But by doing so, he could overplay the sad boy act when they finally ended things or even ghosted you, expertly timed tears slipping down his cheeks as he hugged you tight.

He really just wishes he could see the faces of all the men you’ve bailed on when they realize they’re missing out on sex that night because your adult son called crying for mommy. Especially the repeat offenders who put up with the antics much longer than they should’ve – what they looked like when, once again, your precious Fedya’s face popped up on your phone alongside his special ringtone. God it was fun.

You fly through the front door, face flushed as you arrive home, searching for your distressed son.

“Honey?” you called out.

“I’m in here,” he replied, voice cracking and dripping with tears – in your room.

You kicked your shoes and jacket off before hurrying up the stairs, peaking your head through the doorframe to see Fyodor curled in on himself, sobbing.

He had watched your location in real time as you drove home, so he knew exactly when to turn on the waterworks – approximately eight minutes before you arrived to allow for a perfectly flushed face, puffy eyes, and runny nose to make it seem like he’d been crying for hours.

And it fooled you every time. You rushed over to the bed to sit, back leaned against the headboard, and pulled him into your lap. He curled up into you instinctively, fitting against you perfectly like he had his whole life. You pet his mussed, dark hair with one hand as you hold him tight to your chest with the other, as his tears continue to spill onto your shoulder.

“It’s okay, Fedya baby, it’s okay. Mommy’s got you.”

He only sniffed in response, seemingly too in distress communicate verbally.

“Can I ask what happened?” You asked, very, very delicately.

“Just r-really missed you, and started panicking, is all,” Fyodor hiccupped. You just pulled him closer to you, tears collecting at the corners of your own eyes now.

He wrapped his arms tight around your neck and buried his face into your top.

“Is there anything Mommy can do to make it better?”

The words Fyodor had been waiting for. A small smirk played across his lips where his face was hidden from your view, but wiped it away before pulling back and looking at you. He looked a mess – his long hair tangled and tousled every which way, his cheeks and nose tomato red, and lips torn to shreds from where he had been anxiously chewing on them. You offered him a gentle smile, bringing one hand up to tuck a lock of black hair behind his ear.

“Can you-” he used a hand to adjust the crotch of his pants. “Can you… help me?”

Your eyes flicked down to where his hand just was to see a slight tent forming. You smiled – it was easy when this was all it took to cheer him up.

“Of course I will, honey.”

Your hand slithered into his sleep pants looking up at him for approval before you slipped past the waistband of his boxers. Fyodor pretended to wipe away more tears to hide the menacing smirk he couldn’t help from forming as he got exactly what he wanted – you.

Fyodor groaned as your familiar fingers wrapped around his half-hard cock, thumbing briefly at the slit to gather the dribble of precum that had already begun forming.

You spit in your hand for extra lube before properly jerking him off. He couldn’t help but harden up quickly – he had been waiting for this basically all day, and he was only human.

“Were you really this excited for me?” you teased, squeezing his length and making him yelp.

“Just missed you, is all…” he grumbled, repeating himself.

He couldn’t help but fuck up into your expert fist, a little too desperate for the feeling of your hot palms against his now aching cock.

Fyodor was coming undone fast, and you, of course, could tell. The way his face contorted and hips spasmed were telltale signs that your son was about to cum, so you quickened the speed of your jerks to encourage him.

“C’mon my love, cum for Mommy,” you cooed into his ear. He whined.

“Wait wait wait-” Fyodor suddenly exclaimed, tugging at your wrist.

You immediately stopped, looking up at your son still sitting in your lap, eyes full of concern.

“What’s wrong, Fedya?”

“Can I-” Fyodor started, eyes widening before he covered his face with his hands. You could barely hear the following nevermind he mumbled, already soft words muffled by his palms.

You wrapped your fingers around his wrists and tugged gently.

“Look at me, sweetheart. Can you, what?”

“It’s selfish, Mommy.” He couldn’t meet your eyes.

“You’re allowed to be selfish sometimes, baby,” you reassured, offering him a gentle smile.

“Can I have…. more?” he asked shyly.

“More?” you cocked your head.

“…More. Of you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to make sense of what he was saying, until it clicked.

“You want Mommy’s cunt?”

Suddenly his violet gaze met yours as you uttered the exact words he wanted to hear. Fyodor almost wanted to clap and cheer at how perfectly you had been following the script he had outlined in his head, of how tonight was to go. Of how he was going to ensure that you remained under his thumb, even if you never realized it. Just another step in the direction of making sure he would remain the only man in your life.

“Is that okay?” he almost squeaked, making sure not to fall out of character.

You just laughed and shook your head affectionately.

“C’mere, baby.”

Soon Fyodor was on his back against the mattress, looking up at you as you now straddled his lap. You still had the softest, most loving expression with a gleam in your eye.

“Let Mommy do it for you,” you whispered.

He nodded against the pillow, still playing the shy boy act.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Fyodor stared as you pulled your dress up over your head, leaving you only in your underwear on top of him. Surely this was what your date from earlier had been hoping to see, but it was all for Fyodor. It always would be.

You shifted off him momentarily to gently shimmy his sleep pants and boxers all the way off, and rid yourself of your panties before resuming your position. Now Fyodor was breathless as your pussy came in contact with his skin, already weeping slick onto his pelvis.

Grabbing his cock into your hand once again, making him hiss, you look back up at him.

“Are you sure you want this, Fedya?” you asked, a hint of nervousness in your voice. You just really didn’t want him to regret this.

“Please,” he whined, grabbing your hips.

You chuckled, running your hand up his chest.

“Okay, my love. Just for you.”

Reality turned into slow motion as Fyodor watched you raise yourself up on your knees, line his painfully throbbing erection up with your entrance, and sink down onto him. The yelp he let out was completely involuntary, as you clenched your tight heat around his cock.

“M-mom- feels so fucking good-” he stuttered, throwing his head back into the pillow.

“Good baby, I’m glad.” You leaned down to press a chaste kiss to his lips, rubbing his cheek with your thumb. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you, t- fuck!”  he attempted to reply, cut off by your next moves.

Using your thigh and core strength, you raised yourself off his lap once again before falling back down, moaning at the way his tip brushed directly against your sweet spot. You searched his face for any sign of discomfort but all you could see was the contorted look of pleasure as he involuntarily bucked his hips up into you, overcome with pleasure. It was reassuring enough for you.

Slowly but surely, you fell into a rhythm, using the bedframe behind Fyodor’s head as leverage as you fucked yourself on his cock.

Fyodor was a whining, garbling mess, only able to gasp out single words like fuck! or mommy!  He couldn’t do anything, could only watch as you used his cock.

Though it felt good for you too, overwhelmed by the pleasure of Fedya’s length as he filled you up again and again, what felt the best was knowing how happy you were making your darling son. To see the fucked out look on his face as he approached his climax was better than anything else ever could be.

Fyodor was too distracted to properly voice his oncoming orgasm and accidentally spilled his seed inside of you but you didn’t really mind, just climbed off him and used the sheets to wipe yourself off a bit.

Then you were laying on your side next to him and pulled him in close to you, running your fingers up and down the pale skin of his back as he caught his breath.

“So good for me, baby. You did so good for me,” you cooed.

“Thank you, Mommy.” Thank you for staying mine.