#i dont think ill ever be happy in any job

[strictly-confectional]

feeling so strongly like i will not ever find a job where i wont be highly uncomfortable in some respect or another

[opikiquu]

aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE

[nomairuins]

its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

[phagodyke]

weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

[arolesbianism]

Some stuff I've drawn semi recently

[pepprs]

ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

[mieczyhale]

one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...

my son in christ you are 21

i literally want to fucking die

[be-good-to-bugs]

maybe i WILL get to move back home

[atinyniki]

i ruined it...

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending, fluff if you squint

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, almost breakup, y/n doesnt think felix loves her, felix is referred to as lix, felix neglects y/n bc of his job, felix misses their two year anniversary dinner, felix has trouble breathing in the scene, felix cries a lot, proposals, promise rings, insecurities, felix has been broken up with a lot bc of this, y/ns fav flowers are peonies, fighting

authors note: i cried. i dont even know why this came to mind??? but it did !!! so enjoy the angst :P this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 2232

“i’m sorry”

“sorry isn’t going to cut it anymore, felix. you’ve said it so much i don’t think you mean it anymore.”, you bite back harshly.

you’re normally understanding of felix’s job. it regularly requires him to stay overtime and keeps him very busy, but he’s missed too many of your activities.

he missed ice skating, your birthday, at least ten dates, but now he’s missed your anniversary. two years that you’ve been together, yet it’s like you don’t even see the boy anymore.

“what…?”

“it’s always ‘sorry’. if you were really sorry, maybe you would’ve skipped dinner with the boys. you could’ve come home… to me…”, your voice falters at the last two words, cracking with raw emotion.

it’s not fair to you anymore, nor is it to him. he can’t leave group activities or basically anything work related, even when it’s an emergency. if no one’s in danger, then there’s no chance he can leave.

“don’t you ever want to see me…?”

his face contorts into an expression of disgust. not with you, but with himself. his tears finally drip over his lashline, eyes red and burning. the tears are continuous now, completely unable to stop.

“i do… i do want to see you… i miss you so much, y/n.”

you scoff, “don’t lie to me, felix.”

he opens his mouth to say something back, but only a squeak comes out. “do you still love me…?”

“i love you to the ends of the earth… i promise.”

“then why don’t you ever show it? i don’t even know if i believe you anymore.”

he clamps a hand over his mouth, not out of surprise, but to suppress his sobs. he continues hiccupping, but clutches his mouth harder, not wanting to make too much noise.

he tilts his head down slightly so you won’t be able to see the painful look on his face. he tries to pull through, knowing that your pain must be much worse than this.

the sight breaks your heart.

“take your hand off your mouth. you won’t be able to breathe”

he complies, quickly wiping his tears and taking long breaths. “please- please believe m-me. i really do love you. i’m so sorry.”

he says it again, and you look into his eyes. you can see the pain in there, causing your heart to crack even more. you know he’s dealing with a lot right now, but so are you.

and now you need space. time to think about yourself, and time to think about if this relationship is really worth it anymore.

“i swear, i mean it, y/n.”

“you’re the one ruining this. this isn’t fair at all, felix. i love you, but i don’t think you love me the same way i love you. you’re not making an effort in anything. i don’t know if this is going to work anymore if it stays like this.”

silence.

“i need space.”

“i can give you that.”

“i don’t think this relationship is good for either one of us right now. ill come back when im ready.”

he nods in understanding, but his eyes are blown wide. the second you leave the room, he starts sobbing again.

no, not sobbing. wailing.

there’s nothing else he can do. this truly might be the end of what he hoped would be forever. 

he hurt you. he hurt you and that hurts him. your pain is his pain, but he knows you have it worse. if anything, he deserves this pain. you’ve had to bear this pain for months.

it’s his fault, he knows it. everything’s falling apart because of him, like it always does. everything’s ruined. it will end like it always does. 

just felix, alone.

someone else will come along, and he’ll break them too. it’s happened time and time again, and he’s finally given up.

it’s you he wants to spend the rest of his life with. it has to be you. no one else has made him feel this way, not once.

what’s worse is that you’re truly considering breaking up. ending it all because of another stupid thing felix did.

and for this, he will never forgive himself.

he’s still crying, just as loud as before, but now snuggled up into the couch. it smells like you, he realizes. maybe that’s why he’s getting so emotional.

he plays with the promise ring on his finger, crying even more now. maybe he won’t need it anymore after this.

you start packing, taking a good amount of clothes and stuffing them in your suitcase. you’ll have enough space for everything, you’re sure.

you grab one of your favorite sweaters from the closet, it has an adorable baby chick embroidered onto it. you stare at it again, but then put it back. it reminds you too much of him. 

you make your way to the bathroom, placing your hand on the counter while you open the drawers to check for any jewelry, when you hear a clink.

you place your hand down on the marble again.

clink.

you look down at your ring finger, a singular tear leaving your eye. you remember when felix got down on one knee on your one year anniversary. it was too early for a proposal, so you freaked out, but he calmed you down and opened the box.

a promise ring. a simple band to symbolize eternity. an eternity you believed you’d spend with felix. you’re scared that eternity doesn’t exist anymore, as much as you want it to.

you don’t know if he cares. if he cares about what you have. if he cares about you. 

you remove the band from your finger, shaky hands placing it down onto the counter. you observe the thin tan line it’s made, has it truly been that long?

when did everything change…?

you look for the box that felix gave it to you in. you’ve never taken it off since you got it.

you check in your jewelry drawer, but it’s not there. so you check in his.

there it is. a navy blue box with gold accents on the edges. you smile sadly, crying a little more when you truly think about your circumstances.

you grab the ring from the countertop and flip open the box.

your heart stops.

it’s supposed to be empty.

why isn’t it empty?

there’s a gorgeous gold band on the inside, small peonies engraved into it. your favorite flower, you realize. additionally, there’s a perfect heart shaped diamond sitting on top, almost taunting you. 

the heart was meant to symbolize your love. the love you have for eachother. the love he has for you. but felix has never been able to show that properly, not while under his circumstances.

is this the surprise he mentioned the week before? is this why he told you to dress nicely to dinner? is this why he told you to do your nails all nice?

it had to be, right?

you close the box and hold it tightly in your hand, trying your best to suppress the tears that are trying desperately to escape.

but your heart controls you more than your mind.

its almost as if your heart actually has a mind of its own, bringing you to where you are now. standing in the living room, watching the sobs rack felix’s body, velvet box still in hand.

his body jerks with each hiccup, the noise completely muffled by his hand. it’s then you realize that it’s not muffled, he’s suffocating himself.

you place the box down onto the table, rushing over to felix. you grab his shoulder, pushing him over and sitting him upright. he jerks when you touch him, not expecting you to be anywhere near him.

once he truly processes the sight of you, he cries even more. you pry his hand off of his face again, you know it’s a bad habit.

“felix. you won’t be able to breathe when you do that.”

“im sorry. i didn’t w-want you to- to hear m-me”

“deep breaths.”

he inhales deeply, trying his best to follow your breathing patterns, but it fails every time, broken up into small hiccups. “i c-can’t.”

“calm down…”

you give him a small smile, almost to reassure him. he tries again, but it doesn’t work. he shuts his eyes, unable to take it all, and the tears just continue to spill.

“i- i can’t… i can’t breathe”

you rub circles onto his back, trying your best to do breathing exercises with him. you forget how truly sensitive he is. 

“i’m right here…”

“you’re r-right here.”

“mhm… i’m right here, felix.”

“you’re right here… w-why are you here?”

you tilt your head in confusion, wiping a single cascading tear away from his cheek. “i’m here to take care of you.”

“you- i… i don’t deserve it…”

“what?”

“i don’t deserve you. you can- you can leave. i’m not forcing you to stay…”

your heart is now barely holding on, and it feels like only a single thread is holding it together.

“i’m here because i want to help you, lix.”

“you don’t- no- you don’t need to help me… it’s my fault.”

you open your mouth to speak, but he cuts you off. 

“it’s my fault… i’m sorry.”

“felix…”

“you’ll leave…”

what’s going on with him?

“they all leave… n-not you too…”

“felix.”

“i don’t want you to leave… it’s all my fault.”

“felix, please, calm—“

“you’re going to leave…”

“i’m not going to leave.”

“i ruined it…”

it’s almost as if he’s stuck in the same state of mind, every part of the world being blocked out except for the terrible thoughts swirling around in there.

you cup his cheek with your hand, guiding his gaze towards you. one single look into your eyes, and he’s sobbing again. 

you place your left hand on his knee, you know how much he loves to feel you, but he only seems to cry more.

he tentatively brings a hand up to the one splayed out in his knee, and you watch him out of curiosity. he giggles, and you look back up.

he’s crying even more now, you don’t even know how that’s possible. he picks up your hand by your ring finger, staring at the tan line that your promise ring created. 

“i ruined it. how could i ever let you go…?”

he runs his thumb over it, and he quickly pulls your hand closer to his face. he places a soft kiss onto the line, just once, as to finally seal his fate.

it will never happen. he must accept it.

you don’t let go, instead intertwining your fingers. “i thought about it for a little. i really don’t want to leave you felix. i just… i didn’t know if you loved me anymore.”

“i do… i do love you.”

“i know that now.”

“you don’t know the full extent to which i do, y/n. i don’t just love you for what you have to offer. i love you for you. i love you for your smile, and i love you for waking up everyday. i love you for working hard, and i love you for your heart. i love you for things i can’t even see, and i love every part that makes you you. i love y/n. i love you. and i love you for being you.”

it feels as if the tears in your heart have finally been stitched up. every crack in your heart healed with his pure words. you know they came from the heart too. 

“i can’t guarantee i’ll be there for every event, and im sorry for that. ive tried to change that, but the rules are strict. even then, i wont give up. i’ll try my best to change them, i want to be the best boyfriend i can be. i dont want to rush dates because im running out of time, but instead because i cant wait to get home and finally cuddle with you without being in the public eye. i dont want to be late to any events just so that i can see that beautiful smile on your face when you see me there. i just want to make you happy, happier than you’ve been recently.”

“oh felix…”

he doesn’t say anything else, placing your hand back down on his knee and retracting his hand. that’s when his gaze flies to the table in front of him, the dark blue velvet box staring right at him.

he stands up, grabs it, and then kneels back down, on not one, but both knees. it looks almost as if he’s begging, but what you don’t realize, is that he truly is. he’s begging for your forgiveness, and he’s begging for another chance.

he has to make things right.

“y/n… i know i haven’t been the best boyfriend recently, not at all, but i want to make things right. you’ve brought so much light into my world, and i want to bring you that light too. i just need you to give me one last chance. one chance to make it right. i know it’s not the perfect proposal, but please, make me the happiest man in the world.”

he flicks open the box, displaying the band you last observed in the bathroom.

“i love you.”

“that’s not a yes or a no.”

“yes, i love you.”, you repeat.

you can’t control your heart anymore, and you take the chance to push felix down to kiss him. you know it’s not the ideal proposal, nor is it the ideal post-proposal kiss, but your answer would always be yes.

“it’s you, felix. it’s always been you.”

“y/n.”

“hm?”

“i promise, i’ll never let you go again.”

<3

[feelo-fick]

WELCOME TO PHIO'S EXTREMELY SELF INDULGENT AU HOUR!!!

"Oh, FINALLY, another visitor! It's so quiet in here, it's unnerving..."

—

This AU was meant to be posted on halloween but eh.... Happy Thanksgiving? HAHAHHA

still dont have a name for it, but basically, back in october i was suddenly hit with the need to have a halloween au, so now we have ghost-ified prismo and vampire/witch-ified scarab :D ( although didnt finish the scarab reference spread in time because uh, school and i lost motivation unfortunately )

au synopsis and rambling below the cut!!

the premise of this au is simple : scarab is a real estate agent whos known for his manners ( never barges in, always waits to be invited! though it is a little weird how he keeps asking to be let inside even if they already agreed that he was going to come over... ) and efficiency at his job - that is, convincing people to buy high-end housing for a good price. although his social skills need some... work, his ability to persuade people isnt something to be laughed at.

unfortunately for him, persuading the higher-ups is a completely different story - which he learned the hard way after flunking something big for the company. they dont choose to fire him, no. instead, they put him through a trial, assigning him to sell their most unprofitable property : the mansion in a small town locally known for being haunted by an "evil spirit". if scarab manages to sell it (for good profit) within six months, he is excused and is able to go on with his job. if not... well, best not to think about it, yes? after all, he'll succeed with ease - all he has to do is dispel any worries about some fake "ghost" that only exists as a result of filthy rumors. maybe clean up the place. not too hard, right?

meanwhile, stuck inside said mansion is an extremely bored prismo. hes been hangin around this place for like... how many years now? forty? a hundred? meh, all the same, lately the place has been quieter than usual. i mean- of course people dont just walk into a creepy mansion every day, but there would usually be at least a few bold kids or vloggers coming in now and then for him to entertain but even then they wouldn't stay long ( for obvious reasons ). and now, just some unbound spirits or dumb animals would pass by and thats about it. a guy can only entertain himself for so long, yknow?

that is, until today. when some posh-looking business man entered the premises and started snooping around ( whats the deal with that, by the way?? ). must be prismo's lucky day!! this is the perfect chance to pull out all the stops and play the FUNNIEST prank ever! hah!

... oh. looks like things've gotten a little out of hand.

—

WOOT WOOT WOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!! im so so happy to finish this because ohhhhh my god this has taken ages for no reason other than the fact that ive been really dragging myself to make presentable art JSNDJSJXNSJX.... i realize that i have never worked in real estate ( or at all ) which means i have probably fucked something up but uhh um ill deal with the backlash later :"D im also realizing how many odd unanswered bits and bobs this au is going to have in the future, which... i am ignoring for the most part for now, but there are SOME things that i DO have figured out like ghost lore... but thats for another time, for now i leave you with this >:)

[wassupmygays]

yap about ur headcanons about the socs pls!!

heheeh okay some misc things about the soc guys that have popped into my head throughout the week (im sorry this is so long)

EDIT: ok ive put it all under the cut bc it got so long but i do yap a little bit about each soc guy so please read hehe :)

Chet

chet and his family moved from california when he was in 3rd grade. his first friend in town was one sodapop curtis on his little league baseball team

his dad is a cop and wants to advance up the ranks, and his mom wants to make sure they keep up their good social standing, so chet was not friends with soda for long

you know those boys in like 5th grade that crack all the dumb jokes, hit all the door frames, and tease every girl "because he likes her"? thats chet and trip

this is inspired by @/sky4cherry iirc but chet does Nawt get attention at home man. his dad is always busy with work and a little mean (yknow how dads are in the 60s) and his mom is always working on the next social function or trying to appease his dad. anyways he is just always at another soc guy's house just to have someone Talk to him

i think he picks up drinking and smoking, and fighting, for a similar reason to bob: he just wants his parents to fucking notice he's doing something wrong. but theyre high enough now in the social and job spaces that they can just wipe any misdemeanors under the rug

i cant decide if chet is an only child, or if he has like 2 siblings that are way older than him. idk

Trip

terrance dipp is The Exasperated older brother ever. bro did Nawt want a little brother sorry melvin.

anyways unfortunately i do think trip is very much a guy's guy. that boy is Not a good boyfriend to marcia unfortunately :(((((( at least by the time we get to their sophomore year/the show

him and chet can not be sat together in class. they will never shut up or stop hitting each other.

chet broke his arm one time in like 6th grade. trip threatens to break it again at least once a month

ive said this before but ill say it again: trip and melvin are just soc steve and ponyboy. trip is so tired of his kid brother being in all his sports and trying to tag along to everything

that being said, he was looking out for melvin so much during the rumble. he knew their mom would kill him if he brought his brother home all beat up, but also he really really didn't want him to get too hurt.

he Always goes to marcia to patch him up after hes been in a fight. (after the rumble though, him and marcia are on the rocks, and hes got melvin to worry about. so he just sneaks melvin home and tries to clean him up before their mom sees. its actually a sweet bonding moment between them i think)

trip lovesssss verbally poking fun at any greaser in school, especially two-bit. after he realizes two-bit likes marcia, his mean jokes become a lot more threatening

(i do love trip i promise i just also think hes kinda a mean guy. you know the kind of rowdy douche bags in high school im talking about. im so sorry ksco and sean jones i promise i love trip kdjfkdjf)

Brill

clark brillstein i'll be so incredibly honest i dont have much in my brain for him :((( i gotta sit and think more

i do think he has one of the better home lives out of the bunch, and hes got his lovely perfect girlfriend, and hes good at sports, and honestly i think he just. gets tired of everyone thinking hes got it so perfect all of the time. i think maybe thats why he likes all the fighting so much

while he is relatively happy with his life rn, hes tired of being doted on like hes perfect. and also sometimes he sees everyone else's lives being so shitty, he feels likes hes got to pick fights to justify him feeling bad about his lot.

Paul

ohhh im gonna have to hold myself back from talking about him forever. he will get his own post at some point aDKFJDKFJK

anyways. paul holden. the messiest and most scared gay kid in the town of tulsa

i think he and bob literally grew up together. like their parents are Old old friends, so paul and bob have always basically been brothers despite a 2/3 ish year age difference (i dont feel like doing the exact math). i think bev's parents are also in this old friend group, so pauls known her forever too

anyways. he was probably the bob of his friend group in his class, which is why nobody really really protested darry being in their group. but i also think that when he was with darry, paul didnt really care about the whole social friend group of things too much.

contrary to popular belief i dont think paul is the friend-group-leader type. idk if that makes sense and i can yap about it more but.

anyways post-darry breakup paul is a fucking mess. hes sad and angry and those fights that darry was always trying to stop feel so damn good. maybe bob and his buddies are on to something, and bob's dad always has a full liquor cabinet

Bob

obviously we know the most about bob and his home life and inner psyche and reasons for fighting and honestly all of it really resonates in my brain. like yea im keeping all of that

bro has charisma to the max. like he has always been the ringleader of the friend group, even in like 4th grade when all the boys started becoming best buddies

he used to be such a mommas boy. before her praise just became so meaningless.

oh ive just had a revelation. he is an angrier and more resigned buddy aldridge from rotpl. his dad is pulling the strings to make sure his precious son is climbing all the right ladders.

the difference here tho is bob realized this earlier, and that started his spiral into fights and drinking and causing problems. he wanted to see what would finally make his dad stop covering and fixing everything for him. he never found that limit

he knows cherry cant stand the drinking, and i do think he does feel bad about ignoring her feelings about it. but his urge to push back against everything and spit in the face of anyone who tries to tell him how he should be just overpowers. and god everything is more fun when hes boozed up

[askganon]

Great King, I need encouragement. I have not had an easy life. Any form of abuse besides sexual my parents committed against me. Any time anything is left to chance the worst possible outcome is chosen by the gods, even should I do everything right. I have more mental illnesses, mental and physical disabilities than I can count. I cant do many jobs and can hardly hold most of the ones I CAN do down, on account of the disabilities. My family comes from the worst poverty possible and its grip on me is so strong I know I will never be comfortably free from it. Everyone I've ever known has abandoned me and those that came back keep me at a healthy distance as fair weather friends. Simply put, I'm a survivor, and I intend to survive as long as there is sand in my hourglass. When I am knocked down, nails bloodied and gone, nose broken, I spit my teeth and blood out of my mouth, wipe the dirt out of my eyes and get back up only to get punched back down to the ground just to get back up again. I take pride in this fact, should the whole world and even the gods/goddesses and even lady luck herself be my enemy I will. Not. Succumb. But I am tired... I tired of being strong, I tire of pain, of being offered relief or a mercy only to have it snatched away from me at the cruelest moment against all odds, of having every bit of happiness locked behind one paywall I can never hope to meet, of having everyone like me but never cherish me... I tire not of life but never having lived. I tire of only ever surviving. I dont know what to do, where I can find relief, when or how I get to rest even if just for a moment. I know I must continue on and I know that I will but I have no desire or motivation to do so. Any words of advice or encouragement from you would be a gift, I have admired you since I was young for you have lived a similar life.

There is little I can add as endearment, for all that I would say you have already stated in your resolve.

But you have come to Demon King Ganondorf seeking wisdom. So, it is Demon King Ganondorf's wisdom you shall have.

First, I will make a wound and force it to bleed. Then, I will put salt in that wound, and make you feel the sting of truth. It is only with calm and mature reflection can one see the purpose in the words beyond appeared insult.

First, the wound.

Life is not happiness.

Life is struggle, trial, failure and pain. It can be torment and relief, beautiful and ugly, but it is never happy. Any who speak otherwise are either fools or devils.

It has been said that life is the pursuit of happiness. This is a dream for the mad.

In truth, a "good" life, or one lived well, is one not driven by happiness, but by contentment.

To achieve this, a choice must be made. It is only one choice, but it is the same choice one must make eternally. That is to choose between compromise and suffrage.

In short, will you compromise to be content, or will you suffer for it?

To place this into an example, I could have compromised as King, living content with "It could be worse." Or I could have suffered for contentment with "It could be better."

Which do you think I chose?

Now for the salt.

I have listened to the retelling of your life, and have words regarding it.

I hold no sympathy for abusers of any kind. They cannot match the skills and abilities of their peers, so choose instead to face opponents they know they can conquer. There is no honor nor challenge in an assured victory, and I expect all of them to die knowing they were failures in life and will be forgotten in death.

But as to your abandonments, I hold a different opinion. While the abandonment of one might whisper you the victim, the abandonment of all screams the opposite.

Reflect on these relationships and seek out the common root between them. Do this, but do not rest on the easy answer and use your disabilities as a crutch.

It is said that hurt people hurt people. Perhaps the abuse you sustained in your youth evolved into traits within of which you are unaware.

Seek this out within yourself. If it is discovered, then you have a choice to make.

Will you compromise with this, and remain content in your solitude? Or will you suffer to change this aspect, granting you the chance at a healthy relationship and the possibility of happy moments in a content life?

[inamagicalhallucination]

did i already share it? well ill share it again ig

dazai after oda's death wandering around yokohama, a mess becuz someone so precious to him died, unable to understand the very human feelings he's feeling, perhaps feeling something so strongly for someone for the first time (at least whilst being aware that he is)

its night time now and he's crumpled up in some alley way not knowing what to do or how to process anything when someone calls out to him

he ignores it

they come near him

he reaches for his gun, angry at being approached by who ever the fuck-

"are you okay?" the voice asks, and dazai's so caught off guard even tho he shouldnt be - there r only two ppl after all - ppl who dont care and ppl who ask if ur okay to pretend that they do

oda was always an exception

he thinks he says fine and that should be the end of it and it is becuz the voice leaves and dazai tries to go back to breathing

except it comes back a while later with the familiar rustle of plastic bags and suddenly someone's in front of him, not touching, but close enough dazai cant ignore him, his hand tightens on his gun

"you look like you havent eaten" and in front of him, in a plastic bag, riceballs, water, and napkins

he stares

"you're well dressed" the voice says "so you probably have somewhere to go to" he doesnt "but you look hurt, covered in blood. if it was one of my students i would want someone to help them"

when dazai looks up the person in front of him doesn't look older than him

he's got long blond hair tied up, glasses, dressed in a black button up, a tan coat, and a stern look on his face

"i dont" dazai says even though he doesnt know why he's telling this strange man anything - but its true he has no where to go (chuuya's? but something stopped him before he could; ango's? that... if ango had been here... maybe oda wouldn't have-)

"dont what" dazai doesn't reply but the man seems to understand - his face falters for a second

"youngins these days, they never plan out anything. why would you spend money on expensive looking clothes and not rent out a place? my first priority was an apartment! i bought non necessary clothes after" the man scolds gesturing to his coat, dazai wants to reach for his gun again "whatever, you can stay with me for the night - i have a spare couch! this is a one time thing though! you better rent out a hotel room tomorrow!"

dazai stares at him in surprise, at his offer, his contradictory tone, voice, and words or simply the fact that someone can show such... kindness - dazai isnt sure

he doesn't remember agreeing - but he must have

must have agreed and followed the man back to his apartment, must have cleaned up the blood (odaodaoda) in his bathroom, must have eaten his food, drank his water and fallen asleep on his couch because thats where he is in the morning

its still dark out when dazai wakes up in an unfamiliar place and remembers the man

he has a feeling that the man will scold him for not immediately finding a place but let him stay for longer, but he cant stand to be here any longer

he needs to leave

go far far away from oda, the mafia, this man who showed him kindness for no reason as if oda was still here watching, making sure - he needs to go

there's only a brief hesitation when he sees the man's coat, so familiar to the one oda wears, hanging by the door, easy to grab and leave

he doesn't feel guilt when he takes it with him

he thinks of the man a few times here and there in the two years he spends wandering, waiting

he meets him again eventually, walking into the ada office with a fake backstory - he's there with the person he was told was the boss

when he looks over his eyes linger on the coat, a touch of something but not recognition

this is fine with dazai who puts on his best happy mask

"hey there! i'm here for a job interview! my name's dazai"

"Ah yes. My name is Fukuzawa, I am the president of the Agency. This is one of my employees, your future coworker if it all works out, Kunikida"

[melkyt]

Law has enough eccentric genious vibes to be House or any soap opera level doc lol

This amazing doctor with zero people skills, even more, this doctor that hates interacting with ppl while being the best in the country if not for all the complaints and lawsuits on his record just on the basis of being an asshole or ghosting patients even if he cures them

Luffy, some famous daredevil adventurer type with more money than he would know what to do with probably part of the mob somehow, has an older brother who needs a heart transplant. With all the other issues that Ace has, its unlikely he'll get one, even if they are on multiple transplant list, and nobody actually knows whats wrong with his heart.

(I use Ace for this trope in every fic Im not sorry. That boi can be a damsel in so many ways cx)

Luffy being Luffy decides to wander around hospitals until he A: convinces someone to give up a heart or B: Find out whats wrong with Ace, with no success on either front.

Then while wandering around he hears someone go "Yeah Trafalgar Law, best fucking doctor I have ever had the displeasure of meeting, dudes a fcking headcase but he gets the job done."

Luffy doesnt listen to most of it. He heard a name and best. Tracks Traffy down immediately! No hesitation.

With the full intent to throw money at the hospital to make them put Law on his brothers case.

But he doesn't have to, Law is ahead of him, as he keeps an eye on cases that enter his hospital and not like Luffy has been subtle in looking for Law lol, and he drops a letter in the room "Ill treat your brother, if you stop looking and leave me the fuck alone"

Luffy dumps money at the hospital anyway, and he doesn't leave Law alone, but not on purpose. The dean of the hospital keeps doing everything so they dont meet as they know as soon as they do, and Law opens his mouth, thats it for the money flow.

Luffy isnt about to go with anything anyone tries to make him do, so he finds himself trying to avoid doctors and nurses.

Law does the same, and thats how they meet. In an empty unused exam room that's more of a storage space than anything.

Luffy has no idea who Law is, he didnt bother seeing how he looked after getting the letter. He stopped looking cause it is Ace's life on the line.

Law, meanwhile, knows exactly who Luffy is, though doesn't say anything. They bond over hiding out, and soon, it becomes routine to hang out.

Eventually, Ace gets a new heart and is cured of whatever. He is discharged.

Law almost regrets that he won't spend time with Luffy anymore. He's grown to like their talks.

Luffy doesn't think about it yet. Happy his brother is healthy. When they are about to leave the hospital. Ace points and says 'yo thats the doc, i know you asked who the fuck he was' Ace only saw the man once, and Law ofc pissed him off by flippant remarks. "He's an ass"

Luffy follows his gaze and grins. "Woah, woah, that's the doc I was hanging with! He's the best" He bounces on his heels "Hey! TRAFFY!" Thats ofc what he has been calling the doc even if they never met. He runs over to Law. "My number! We should hang out all official like, I'll text you!" Then he runs out without waiting for an answer, going after Ace.

Law is a little stunned and more than a bit embarrassed that he yelled that in front of everyone. Rumors spiral for days. Law waits for his phone to buzz from Luffy but decides that it's not gonna happen and tries to go back to his life. Which is the exact point that Luffy texts him. 'Picking you up at 9!' And that's it.

They go on a date, if it can be called that. They go urban exploring because Law mentioned he was an enthusiast but didnt have the time or motivation. Luffy drags him to all his favorite places. Its the best date he has ever been on.

They go like that for awhile, at the most random times and days, Law always drops what he is doing, its a highlight in what he considers an otherwise annoying day to day.

Luffy is just happy he can make Traffy happy for saving his brother.

Law is the one who asks if Luffy wants to make it official, be boyfriends. For the first time in his life he finds himself almost stuttering over his words.

Luffy grins and nods enthusiastcly, then they kiss and everything is cool.

Law now marginally happier then he was, gets less complaints and gets along with patients a little better even if they still annoy him, he knows that if he didnt interact that one time, he would have never met Luffy.

Requests Open till 08/09/2024

[tossball-stick]

MORE TRANSFEM KIERAN

hii kicks my feet. twirls my hair. does a little spin. i wanted to write these out sooo much sooner but i got sick :(( luckily!! im here now!!!! so today ive decided to share some camp transition hcs. personally i dont actually think she would have the time to transition in the gang.. buuuuut its still nice 2 think about :) maybe later ill make a post about the domestic au ive got for her. smiles big and wide

sean is immediately supportive of her transition. this isnt really cause for suspiscion, sean is also trans of course. until his true intentions are revealed and hes simply staring at a womens fashion catalogue in the undergarments section holding it out to kieran and pointing, "i think youd look good in that one ;)"

eventually kieran is doing some of the ladies workload, she is one of them, after all (though i imagine her true role even post transition would be a little more mixed, like karen, who can be seen going on watch and such). of course this means grimshaw eventually coming by to nitpick her the same way she does for the rest of the women. chastised for not being ladylike enough, or being improper. i imagine susan and kieran get along pretty well, honestly, i can imagine kieran being a very effective little worker bee for her that goes along with whatever she says in an attempt to pass. susan clearly knows about being a woman. kieran wants to be a woman. its perfect!

you would think if i headcanoned bill as gay and kieran as a woman i would believe that bill eventually loses his crush on her. you would be wrong. very wrong. i think it maybe seems that way at first, but realistically bills manner of attraction has simply shifted. with men you can be rough and rowdy and awful and its expected, even when trying to court one, but trying to court a lady? now, thats a long process of wearing her down with charisma, wooing her, being a gentleman. things bill williamson sucks at. really badly. i think he would simply stop making moves on her because he just doesnt know how, but i dont think his actual feelings change even remotely

thusly, people start looking at bill weird the times he gets drunk and does dare to flirt with kieran. i imagine people would offer to have a talk with him about it, but she would just smile and shake her head, because bill stumbling over his words to drunkenly call her pretty was one of the best feelings shes ever had

i doubt hosea and dutch would care. really. i think either way they keep her stationed with the horses. it makes her happy and ultimately she is helping around camp more now. theres no loss of hands to complain about, they werent taking her on jobs anyway

her and molly!! i knowwww molly is saying some shit like "youre clearly just pretending, wearing that skirt with that lipstick" and it very quickly snowballs into convincing arthur to take them out on the town and buying kieran some clothes with at least a little class. maybe they kiss while out there. whos to say

look. all im saying is. if kieran goddamn duffy can become a woman then sadie adler can become a man. and sadie adler fucking haaaaaates that the start of his transition was watching an o'driscoll transition first. and i also think it would be really funny and i wanna torture that tboy some more.

grows her hair out for sure, i think in any other setting she would wear it down more than up, but due to the nature of her chores at camp, shes keeping the hair off the back of her neck

i can imagine mary-beth and her sitting together on a quiet night, kieran listening to her talk about whatever dime novel or bodice ripper she'd been able to get her hands on lately. its nice and all, but shes mostly just listening, shes not much of a reader, and mary-beth is clearly talking like she wants the man. until, out of nowhere, shes bringing up how the savior is always the men, and how, sometimes, it made her even more giddy to picture the "men" with long hair and even more identity protection, and thinking about them being women masquerading as men. seemingly, kieran is a lot more engaged now that mary-beth is talking about being saved by a woman that is stuck looking like a man for whatever reason. of course, mary-beth doesnt miss this little detail. theyre sharing drinks by the end of the night.

i think one of her first gender moments was getting her first skirt of course. but i think it only really hit her when she had to mount branwen sidesaddle for the first time, and get used to riding him like that. it was kinda like learning to ride a horse all over again. it gets branwen involved in her transition as well and i think thatd be crucial for her; bonding with her beloved horse in a new way, being a woman while doing it. even if he wasnt a part of such a big moment for her, i still think she would gush to him about all the womanly things she got to do that day. branwen is always the first to hear when a day goes by and she barely feels like a man the whole time.

i hope this was enough food to keep you and any other transfem kieran enthusiasts fed for a bit ^-^

[pristine-rose]

so heres ur thrist alice when ur ready to show the world fr (got multiple charcters in this i was bored af and horny af)

ahem

Tattoo artist arrlechino who loves it when you cry and beg to take a break when shes tattooing you she just sighs and puts the plastic wrapping over your healing skin and tells you to shut up before dragging you behind the counter and into the staff room just to eat you out roughly (bonus if she has a tongue percing and its freezing cold touching your clit) you have to watch her bite your thighs and lick them while all you can do is sit there and wince bc you wont let her do her job‼️‼️‼️

Idol miko!!

idol miko just wanted to rebel against those ugly old ass men at the agency (taking ur trope bc ong its so good) . She hated the fact that they had no common sense like sure she would be stalked but doesnt she have a private area besides..They cant keep treating her like crap in this industry and starving and making her feel like entertainment and lying is the best way to live her life, Then she meets you conviently she laughs at the way your easily manipulated into having sex with her going on dates while she despises you yet she cant stop thinking and thinking.

All she can do is kill the emotion off but as she would have it your too cute to let go shes desperate clawing your thighs arms and neck suffocatting you while you go along with it her degarding you and you go along with it will you ever hate her? She finds it annoying yet adorable and shes inlove now and just as obssesed as you are maybe even more. She might steal your panties at night and weae them to shows. She’ll even pin you in public as a fan service moment just to piss off the agency and let the public know your owned

brat tamer and god complex ei

ugh i cant get her out of my head frkm the event anw tho

brat tamer ei is annoyed at the fact your so smug and cunning with the way you play your just like miko so she decides to get her trust strap out and hold the musu no hitotachi right at your neck ready to strike lightning at any given moment not afriad to cut in an instant

she has no place for those who wont listen to their god even in modern day society you can change but you can never forget your beneath her and always will be your just a lowly mortal

you should be begging for forgiveness right now.

and one last one to make everyone happy fr🗣🗣🙏

yelan bc i need her

foreplay and temp play w yelan

yelan is so teasing yet so sweet having her hydro ropes and dice roll around your neck she should just roll the dice and play the game at this point shes being so unfair and rude its removing want from your thighs but now on your brain

you just want her to destroy you make you forget you ever were this needy for her. You just wanna ride her thigh and cum all night or even sit on her face its pure desperation at this point you dont even know your so lost and half registering everything around you wanting something or the woman behind you to stop tightening the wet ropes around your body arousing you more

all you can do was sit there naked and look pretty on her lap as she has her warm thigh underneath you and cold and wet ropes and dice wrapped around your body playing with you

maybe if she rolled a 6 or 5 she could finally fuck you but you know yelan

somtimes being unlucky is lucky for her

-🤲 (mayb im being a bit to nice ill send u angst one day alice fr)

🧍‍♀️