askganon
askganon
Ask Ganondorf
30K posts
I am the Demon King. Lord over all tribes of the Gerudo. Rightful bearer of the Triforce of Power. I am rage incarnate. I am Ganondorf.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
askganon 15 hours ago
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Sir Ganondorf I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed and I have terrible anxiety about it!
Do you have any words of encouragement or comfort?
Trust that those in the business of your health know their task. If they do not, let them fear your wrath.
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askganon 18 hours ago
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What is love to you? You've said you don't experience it, but do you think you've ever truly been loved in more than a subject to their king sort of way? Does that matter if you could never love them back?
I choose not to experience it, that does not mean I cannot. I once felt a love stronger than any power previously known to me. When it was stripped from me, I filled that void with hate.
As for the love of others, I would enjoy the thought that there are those in my service who hold affection for their King. But in the larger scale, such hopes are meager compared to the work that must be done.
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askganon 21 hours ago
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You know, Bokoblins are kind of handy, aren't they? They look stupid but like, they can build things, tame bears, and operate searchlights.
...How smart is a Bokoblin? It seems like they might be smarter than the average Hylian.
They have their uses, as I have said before. They are smarter than one might assume, but not so much to be a threat to me.
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askganon 2 days ago
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Hail, Lord Dragmire!
May I offer you some skullcrawler meat? (In case you are unfamiliar with skullcrawlers, they are large, bipedal, crawling hypervores that we must hunt and therefore eat a LOT of.)
It tastes very good with your Gerudo spices, I've noted.
Also, if it looks like it's moving, usually creatures of the Hollow Earth tend to move after death.
(I must also mention it tastes extraordinary when one is high on weed. I saw colours.)
Sincerely,
Valentina, Loyal Follower of The One Who Is Many
(also whoevers running this blog i see u 馃馃馃馃馃)
... Your speech is sporadic, likely due to your substance abuse. Your reality seems quite unstable.
These creatures seem to be a fetid, opportunistic scavenger, like the crossbreeding of dodongos and rodents. I cannot imagine their meat savory or even palletable, but I have eaten worse I suppose.
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askganon 2 days ago
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What do you think of Sora and his Keyblade?
During the tournament, the boy attempted to tell the combatants his journey. I confess, that even with my intellect, I had difficulty understanding his convoluted tale.
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askganon 2 days ago
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Weird question but if you had to bring anything from our world, just one thing, what would it be? Also, in your opinion, if all the races of Hyrule were sent to our wild and we were sent to Hyrule, which would survive/do the best in terms of living?
Provided that it would include a power spurce and means to operate, the toaster is a revelation.
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askganon 2 days ago
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It is not self pity, idiot bird, but a reminder. Forgiveness breeds complacency. Complacency spawns content, which in turn blinds eyes to the wrongs of the world.
There are some wounds, particularly the metaphysical, that must remain open and bleeding, lest we forget how we obtained them. They serve as a reminder to me why I hate, and what my goals are.
I would expect one with your elongated cranium to have figured that out. Alas, what would be guessed as extra space to hold a larger cerebrum is solid bone, encasing a miniscule, primitive avian brain.
i hope you heal from the things you never speak of, dear king
Some wounds do not deserve to close.
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askganon 3 days ago
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Is Vaati still single? Please tell him I'm available 馃槝馃槝馃槝
I would not know, nor do I care. The rodent's personal life is of no concern to me.
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askganon 3 days ago
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Hi there! Loving these answers. The artwork you鈥檙e using is from Evelyn-Jade, correct? She鈥檚 an amazing artist. Please make sure to credit her! 馃グ
Credit has already been given and is still displayed. But is is always fair to remind other if the artist.
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askganon 3 days ago
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Are you well? You have been quiet, Lord Ganondorf. If it is a break you are taking then I hope it is good.
Fear not the booming thunder. Fear instead the silence between strikes.
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askganon 4 days ago
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What do you do when you are sealed away? Are you aware of the passage of time?
Painfully aware, and unable to do much of anything.
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askganon 4 days ago
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Can I give you a biggggggggggggg hug? 馃馃槝鉂わ笍
You cannot. Trust that your feelings toward me are understood even at a distance.
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askganon 4 days ago
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I am attempting to make a liquor out of hydromelon. It is not going well so far. These things do not seem to ferment well or quickly.
It is more an art than a science.
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askganon 5 days ago
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How high is my chance to seduce a woman if I gift her a sword?
Much higher than they would be without. Unless, of course, she has already made it clear that she holds no romantic desires for you.
If the latter is the case, I would focus less on your chances of seduction, and more your chances of survival.
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askganon 5 days ago
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Hey so what if I told you purely hypothetically I ended Link and Zelda and got the Triforce of wisdom and courage. Of course I don't want you to get your hopes up because I didn't. But what if...
If such an incredibly unlikely instance were to occur, you would then be considered a target.
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askganon 5 days ago
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hello your majesty, do you have any advice on how to stay motivated on horribly bad days?
Both you and this day will end. But which will go first, you, or the day?
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askganon 6 days ago
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In cult of the lamb, I have a follower I named after you as a way to honour you... Little did I know that at the time it was my strongest follower, and when I took them with me on a crusade they took out bosses in one blow...
A typical attitude and prowess to be expected from a namesake.
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