#i dont really have much to add . its okay
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[reverse entry AU]
so glad the work week is over!
no more meetings!
what do you mean its only tuesday.
#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#reverse entry au#isat modern office au#isat spoilers#<- not REALLY but its blink and u miss it tbh#and is hardly legible#and probably doesnt make much sense as a spoiler for regular isat tbf#its more of a spoiler if u know the spoiler from isat to begin with????????#i think i am starting to confuse myself on if this is really a spoiler ASFASDAFRA#inspired by my week so far thumbs up#sometimes u end up in too many meetings about the same subject and wonder why you are even here#proceed to zone out till hear key words#tune in and respond#then continue zoning out#omg just like beloved indie game in stars and timeeeee#for legal reasons that is an exaggerated explanation to further enhance the joke thumbs up part 2#alternative takes that build on this same idea include#staring at computer screen in general trying to remember what you were doing#or silently judging a computer program for freezing on you for the seventh time in the past twenty minutes#or just staring blankly at the screen in general as people do yanno thumbs up part 3#oh also to note yea this is not in the office lmao#modern times means sometimes you also get to have wfh days yippeeee so siffrin is in his apartment#the star is probably sitting in the kitchen next to the flavor tree at this moment in time dont worry about it aha#WAIT i just realized i forgor the shine in siffrins eyes OOPS#actually wait nvm this is fine it adds to this i think HAHAHA#okay tag talk over !!!!
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hi its me so back when wattblr was at its peak (2020), watt basically gave me a drug that made me really fuckin creative and want to do a bajillion musicals. 4 years later, warriors has now force-fed me this drug again. Welcome back to me being annoying as fuck woo here's the Izzy Original Rambly Musical Masterlist - Part 1
+ Misfits - been developing this SINCE I WAS 13 and um its Basically A Show Within A Show idea inspired by my past experiences with my former church and their Christmas musicals. TO UNDERSTAND THIS HERE IS SOME BACKSTORY: so when I was 10-13 I used to be in Christmas musicals staged by my sunday school. These musicals were Pilipino translations (the songs stayed English) of Typical American Children Christmas Musicals found on youtube (check out A Rocking Royal Christmas on YouTube yes we did a Filipino translation of that and I played the narrator when I was 11 I'm not kidding). When I was 13, I wanted to make something more resonant to the teen crowd as um to be quite honest the stuff my fellow Sunday school people were going through were Fucking Heavy and i wanted to feature that + I always knew that the Very Kiddy Musicals we set up were mainly a show for the parents and all that. I wanted a message of faith that actually resonated with my age group - and i developed it far enough that at 14, i was commisioned by my sunday school teachers to work with the church's orchestra in actually having this developed! But 15 happened and I started questioning a lot of the stuff my Sunday school and church does in terms of like politics, mental health stuff, sexuality and identity and pressuring me and my fellow teens to become something we were not, and it really felt alienating, almost as if I was simply putting on a show to appease all those that look to me and want me to be the Best of Young Christian Soldiers
So the concept of Misfits is um okay just read this ramble i wrote 3 years ago that is MUCH MORE COHERENT AND COHESIVE than the descriptions ive been whipping up for three hours now:
There is more to this like I have been developing this for 7 years now and there IS A TRACKLIST and each character has a storyline and a certain dynamic with all of the characters - like all are connected one way or another - but the basic gist is:
1.) The Narrators Put On A Show For The Religious Audience, then Start Crumbling at The Questions Presented and Prompted by The Misfits, but also Upon The Realization Of How Much Pressure They Are Under in Supporting A Narrative They Are Conditioned To Unquestionably Trust + the reveal of the secrets they hide and deny about themselves in order to seem as the Perfect Model Christian (sexuality, mental health issues, parental/pastoral pressures, abuse, psychological trauma as a result of Putting On The Show - the Time Travel element is not just there for the purposes of the show, it has a very important plot element too that connects the leader of the Narrators with the defacto leader of the Misfits) + how do they deal with these secrets being slowly revealed when They Know They Are Being Watched
2.) The Misfits Try To Navigate The Strange Musical Scenario and Why The Narrators Seem Preachy, While Also Being Forced to Address Their Pasts and Presents on why They Are Deemed "Misfits" in the First Place (outside of Christian conservatism, there exists undeniable concern for the wellbeing of the "Misfits" aka juvenile delinquency and poverty, mental health issues, and um the defacto leader being a Former Member of the Narrators wHICH WILL BECOME THE RUNNING THREAD TO THE PLOT TWIST which is why they were chosen in the first place), so basically The Misfits Are Challenged to Acknowledged that They Are Indeed Troubled (especially with carefully planted plot points and script prompts used by the Narrators to have these in the open) - but the original Producers Approved plotline has them Turn Back To God, but how can they do so if the problems they face are rooted in the current religious institutions in place? That is the question presented by the Misfits to the Narrators - which is what causes their show to fall apart
3.) Through Questioning The Mission They Were Given and the Environments That Mandate Them To Do So Despite Their Own Struggles (Narrators), and Through Questioning Themselves, Their Struggle, and The Acknowledgment That They Do Need Help (Misfits), the two groups face what I want to be the ultimate thesis question of the musical: when you grow up, where does one find hope? This is my attempt at breaking down the concept of religion because ultimately, people look to a higher figure in the dream of hope and the want for answers - thus, religion cannot ultimately be taken away from people who truly want and seek it. But we gotta deconstruct the narrative that hope is only limited to these religious institutions - and criticism must be relayed to the institutions that mandate that people serve them for the hope they supposedly provide but subsequently break because of prejudice, conservatism, and close-mindedness towards the people the Bible says to serve above all.
So yea the thesis slogan is basically: grow as you go, redefine your mission, and break the script if needed be.
Also it's pop rock, very inspired by SPRING AWAKENING, we are the tigers, and a dash or rent. The songs are English when They Are Part of the Producer's script, and Tagalog when They Are Not Part of the Script (like the characters being honest or unexpected rebuttals to the narrators' preaching moments or when the narrators themselves reveal their secrets). Otherwise, dialogue is taglish YAY
#warning: THIS IS VERY FUCKING LONG#that i had to make the text tiny#it was supposed to be longer likE I HAD THE CHARACTERS' BIOGRAPHIES ALL TYPED OUT#bUT FUCK IT DIDNT SAVE FUUUUCK#anyways thats okay#that'll be for fucking next time i suppose even if i just SPENT AN HOUR WRITING THEM KFJSNVJSJ AAAAA#but anyways here we go yhis is Izzy Project 1#even tho i am more keen on producing Patron rn#i still wanna complete this because like fuck ive been sitting on this one for 7 years now#like for my thirteen year old self's sake i really wanna accomplish this#also this is like i dunno#the 7th complere redraft of misfits like there have been sSO many changes as i grow#i'll probably have to like put a stop to the narrative changes soon because like#i wanna keep the youthfulness of it all#like Patron is very much mature and like political and shiy#i wanna keep how like genuinely confused the spirit is here with Misfits cause that is entirely the point here#its a story of kids figuring shit out#and they dont get it all figured out and thats okay!#all they know is that they wanna break out of the script imposed on them#and find their way from there#ANYWAYS THATS PROJECT 1#next is Patron which will um#take a while#personal shit#izzy's projects#AYAN PARA HINDI MAWALA#also there are so many additional themes that i wANTED TO ADD THROUGH THE TYPED OUT BIOGRAPHIES PERO WALA THEY WERENT SAVED#like the theme of forgiving oneself before anything else and finding hope within and beyond religious faith#Crumbling beneath the pressures of following a predetermined script that does not befit you at all#i HAD SO MUCH TO SAY IF ONLY THE FUCKING BIOGRAPHIES I TYPED OUT WERE FUCKING SAVED
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how do you feel about the whole 'phantom ruby originated from The End' theory. i personally love it, the cyber corruption sonic gets is like a mild version of what infinite has to deal with every day & there's more voices fucking w him
OKAY tbh originally i didnt think id have too much to say on this(and i still might not lol but Im Thinking really hard abt it so it COUNTS !!!!!) n whatever cause i personally don't really give a shit abt sonic frontiers it just doesnt intrigue me as a Complete *thing*
HOWEVER !!!!!!!!!!!!
i just watched like over an hours worth of End related videos and????????? THIS SHITS CRAZYYYYYY its so insane how this fits in w my lore n shit 4 the phantom rubies personally (Sega upholding the tradition of stealing ideas directly from my brain<33 im just that good😏)
my actually genuine reaction when the celestial bodies n space rocks r sentient w power that rivals the chaos emeralds:
LIKEEEE. okay. okay. not to be infifi lorepilled on main r anything. *i explode💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥*
I THINK ITS A VERY FUN IDEA. idk how i feel abt the phantom rubies coming directly from The End but i can def see how they can be related to each other, esp knocking sonic out of his super form briefly COME ONNN literally phantom ruby reference?!?!!?. i rest my case💼. i still dont think i know enough about The End to give a full comparative analysis on The End and pts abilities n such but i can 100% see the correlation anf thinks its a VERY VERY fun idea even if i dont necessarily agree w them being one n the same... ill have to do more research n come back to this for sure.
ill end this w a silly thought of my own though(lmk if this has already been said lol... i dont keep up w all this lol): obv ive seen ppl compare the dialouge of The End and infinite..... AND. hear me out if we were to run w the phantom rubies and End being of similar origin and ignore every other supplementary material that expounds on infinite besides Sonic Forces there is a teeny tiny bit of room to consider infinite rock possession😳 like the way they speak in certain contexts is similar and like.... if we can consider the phantom rubies as vessels that serve as an extension of The Ends power perhaps....?😳😳😳
OBV ik this is a MASSIVE stretch and isnt fully backed by canon but. a silly theory to consider to regardless lol. if someone else has already come up w this idcccc its mine now. bajabnsbbd
#asks#woven#didnt touch on the cyber corruption bit specifically cause i idnt think i had much to add........ n i dont really know the extent of The End#s power n whatnot so i cant say for certain butttt sonic cybercorruption bit is interesting but also id say its also a reason i DONT think#The End and the phantom rubies r too closely related. tails said that sonic was 'stuck between realities' n if this is directly related to#The End then it would imply that the The End n the ohantom rubies powers. while similar. dont exactly line up#it seems like to me based on the. WAIT#wait hold on i just thought of thi mid thought. fuckkkk okay#i was Going to say Teh End and the ohantom runies powers r similar but not one to one cause it seems like to me The End is more related to#like actually other realities whereas the ohantom rubies power obv deals more in the augmented reality sorta thing. BUT THEN i just#remembered that null space is real and a Thing so. HJWBSJBDBWJSH#so much to consider !!!!!!!!!! will def have to look more into this...#this is literally gonna keep me up tonight damn you man !!!!!!! jwnkdbndb#interesting..... very interesting...... *i pace around the room intensely*#also i literallyyy had the sentient space rock thing before frontiers even came out I HAD ITTTT I HAD IT!!!!!!#sega is tauntig me ik it....... augh !!!!#anywayss. goes insane<33333
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A Word-Filled Update
that no one's asking forrrr~
Sooooo, hiya~ ^^
Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)
Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3
(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)
Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)
That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.
This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.
But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~
So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.
I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)
Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~
I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!
Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.
So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~
There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3
And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~
#waterfalltalks#waterfallrambles#more like waterfallparagraphs im so sorry hahaha#been thinking about making this for awhile- but always felt so anxious???#idk why specifically... maybe cause i cant be short to save my life#or maybe because it feels like ive left it too long?? been promising so much and never fulfilling#but i am gonna try!! not to fulfill everything but- to start enjoying it again#i worry this comes off like i have an ego... i really dont haha~ i dont expect anyone to really interact with my blog or care#it was always meant to be for ME- and i just hoped to create things ID enjoy and that#if anyone else enjoyed it too that i could start giving back to the community thats given me so much content ive adored#anyways this is a LONNNGGG post and so are these tags hahaha~#using this blog as a journal again i think! but its mine! so okay! im gonna let myself!#gonna add here too that i might be reblogging with shorter tags for a bit- i promise its not cause im not excited!!!#just trying to make it the least overwhelming situation so i can start really getting back into ENJOYING it~#thank you to anyone who read this far and a huge thank you to all my friends from here and anyone who stuck around <3#i appreciate and love you all so dearly <333#not snz
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i really find it interestin that you can kinda clock an artist's age based on how self-deprecatin they are lol
#its the uh. 'OMG THIS SUCKS SO BAD!!! SAWRRY' attitude#which is like. yeah. i get it#and im an adult rn and i also dunk on my art#but i feel like the way an adult dunks on their art vs how a teen does it is. noticeable#adults usually are like 'eh. this kinda sucks but w/e' (at least i am in this camp)#teens are just way more mean to themselves and dont shut up about how much their art 'sucks'#i was there before so i understand#but i think. ppl need to realize. when theyre overly self-deprecatin and put themselves down a lot it becomes annoying#which i know is very harsh of me to say#i used to be there so i know that feelin of insecurity but MAN#once you mature more you realize that expressing yourself in such a way is kinda cringe!#PLEASE just practice being kind to yourself#i think the cringe comes from the fact that no one really likes to see that stuff#if you need comfort or anything please talk it out with someone but like.#being VERY terrible publicly to yourself just makes a lot of people uncomfortable#keep in mind. if you post it online a bunch of strangers will be seein you moan about how 'bad' you are#and guess what! they dont know you! and they wont care!#it can start with 'i dont like how it turned out but at least its done'#what matters if that you enjoy yourself#if you start being terrible to yourself about your hobby that you should be enjoying then remind yourself youre there to have fun#skypeaks#also i will add. self-deprecation will also not help you in the long run. i would know from experience#cause rather than being productive with your self-deprecation you stick to 'i just suck!!!'#rather than like 'okay. im bad at this. but what can i do to better myself??'#i say from experience. this attitude CAN affect your relationships. not in a good way#so practice bein nice to yourself. truly.#you dont even need to be NICE just be neutral#start there. start with 'im okay at this'
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non paralive moots im begging yuo listen to my wife singing
#i was behind the camera nd i never blinked once lookinf at him i will jeffthge killer style burnoff my eyelids so th better i can lookathimw#i need to put My oil in his pores#i woudl fry my food w his face oil i'll let him feed me cockroaches and set me on fire like the one vid of the guy w the cockroach as long#s i get to set him on fire back i hope they project this on time square toe curlinf music tha t makes me gag if i was a vampire and he was#n his period. strawberry jam im in the background of all the shots just watching him itmust be crazy goinf from ibuki imperialism#sitch to kenta character focus all rise for the anthem of every country ever united under one stupid greenfHIS EXTRA VERSE IS PLAYOING OAOO#kenta shimeji that deletes all my shit and only plays his songs#gonna recite thi slike a mantra to myself rock myself back and forth in a corner if i get out of a parakive concert itll look like attempte#murder but i did it all myself in will be the guardian angel to everyone who worked on this everything after gokuluck is opposite of peak#poo. opposite of peak is poodoodoo. imagine having to ppost yer music after peakuluck kenta solved all my problems ever I LOVE WHEN YOU#CAN HEAR KENTAS SNARKY SMILE his little Alrights and okays and buu!If the sneezing when someones talking ab you myth was true#he would be sneezy bc of me HANDSOME HIII HANDSOME how am i gonna talk to non paralive moots what do i even say Hello! How ar e you!#i cant do that anymore im the surprise man from freak month are you sure its alright are you sure UUGUHHHH THE LITTLE wikaioaiugh at beginn#ng i love music thanks for inventing music guys thanks for inventing handsome Lockjaw Parvo Tetnis Botfly kenta tetnis eerm i thought yousa#tetris ☝️‼️‼️‼️ EVERYONE SHUT UP HES SPEAKING. LISTEN LISTENthe world will be like that one scen e in the one movie where they all stop tal#EXTRA VERSE CUTIEBEAR I LOV E YOU YOU SOUND SO PRETTYYY WE FINALLY GOT PRETTY SOUNDING KENTA AWROOO BOW WOW !!!!!! ing when he heads upstai#and just look at him when claudio went how cute how fun how SWEET and also when claudio went i spit in it my saliva is now inside all of th#se peoples bodies thats me when kenta leaves his energy drinks unattended but dw itll add extra fizz Hi ryog A the only way to describe how#i feel about kenta is like claudio gregory shawn mendes you cast a Spell on me Spell on me! STILL ALIVE okau HES SO CUUUTE kenta i will hel#you dispose of every other groups bodies okau man i gotta draw salkenta after this day 1 of scarface I already feel my beast form taking p#HIIIIE KENTA RIDE ON RIDE ON INDEED WAUAUUAA WAUUAUAUUAUA WAUAUAUAUAU kachi toru made lets be like UTV and the archiver babydoll my face is#n fire and SOOOO ARE YOUUUU KENTA COVER OF EVERYTHING FOR APRIL FOOLS CROSSING MY FINGERSS NO POINT IN ACTIN LIKE I DONT LIKE HIM I FOOOOLD#IM YOURS cozmez long forgotten they can be locked in the dome forever for all i care salkenta time im going to sweep kenta off his feet pri#cess style MY PRINCESS YOU DID SO WELL I'LL REWARD YUOUUU youre right youre a musical genius my god my savior my everything you are light y#u are like a fallen angel to me im gonna go kiss him sloppy now and listen to His Own music and draw him GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IM A GOKULU#K GIRL thank you for reading so far i really love kenta and he straight up changed my life i got rid of my ocd opened tabs so i could#watch the stream and i started drawing after 3 years and got back into music and made friends bc of him genuinely i love this guy so much#and no amount of content creation or words could ever convey it but i'll do s o either way i love this community i love my friends i lvoe m#paralive friends i love kenta. i lov ekneta i love kenta
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its been 4 years since i first watched be more chill how has it been that long
#watched as in watched a slime tutorial#but its such a fundamental part of me even if i dont really like it now#like if i didnt see that video of lauren marcus playing agtikbi on ukulele i dont think id be playing as many instruments as i do now#it also led to me being a liana flores fan#and the username i use on most websites is related to one of the characters#i was probably super annoying to my friends during my bmc era since i was the only one in our friendgroup who liked musicals😭#it had a chokehold on me for at least 4 months which might not seem like much but it’s enough to shape who i am today#*cough cough like tallyhall*#i also never watched the two river version in its entirety i genuinely like the one on broadway#or liked#its been a while since i watched a bmc boot#okay that’s enough rambling i just woke up and thought of voices in my head for some reason#the more you know about tumblr user variationsoncloud#waitactually before i stop writing i just remembered that bmc was the reason i found out hanukkah was a thing because of a boyf riends fic#im so glad i didnt know how to make new social media accounts at the time#ESPECIALLY FOR TWITTER AND TUMBLR#okay thats it#thank you for listening to my ted talk#i lied in editing this just to add that this is probably what im gonna think about myself in the 4 years about my falsettos or tbom era#im* i wish it was easier to edit tags on mobile since i have no idea how to do it without rewriting the entire tag#okay no more tags#for now#thank you for listening to my ted talk again
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honestly as someone who never really got into lotr but independently also came up with the idea that the most sensible way to handwave everyone in a fictional setting speaking english & using terms that would have no reason to have originated in that setting is to just pretend its all a translation/localization of whatever language theyre actually speaking, it was such a relief to learn that tolkien also did that. like oh ok so im not crazy for wanting to do it that way. or like, maybe i am, but at least in the same way that a wildly successful fantasy author was, so i think im good
#like it just makes sense!! yeah you COULD go through & nitpick english so you take out all the loanwords & words with religious origin etc#anything that wouldnt make sense in the setting youre writing for. words relating to places that dont exist there. you COULD do that#(& iirc there are some authors that HAVE done things like that which is incredible i love that)#but its so much easier to just be like. well these are not the actual exact words they were saying. they were not speaking english#bc why would they be?? why would this fantasy world have english At All. even if u call it by a different name. u know??#why would they come up with the same sounds and the same alphabet and the same grammar and everything#it just makes more sense for it to not actually BE english to begin with!!!#i would love to eventually make up all the conlangs in my various settings but unfortunately i do not have the time & energy for that rn#so im just using real languages as stand-ins. which does mean i will either need to learn them or get someone to translate for me lmAO#but im fine with that. also learning more languages would make it easier to make a conlang anyway bc u have more knowledge of#language structures besides english & u can use that to add more variety..... maybe someday ill get to the point where i can do that#its always been something that interested me tbh i used to make up fake alphabets all the time but never really got much farther#they werent all exact 1:1 w a-z either like some combinations would have their own character or id omit some#god okay anyway i gotta go to work#oopsie i made the wrong word italic. i fixed it tho
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It always seems a bit unbalanced on The Great Food Truck Race when there will be multiple teams who are cooking a wide variety of complex dishes with 10 different components and a bunch of prep work, and then there's that one team who like... exclusively serves plain crepes with some premade nutella on them, or plain waffles with just some whipped cream and cut up strawberries lol...
#AND then they'll be the winning team or whatever and its like... wow... imagine that... I wonder how its possible that they can get#more dishes out faster than the other teams... hrrmm.... lol#Not that they aren't still doing work like. obviously it's still hard and there's still a sales component and other stuff to be done#but It's just kind of unbalanced seeming when one group is serving like grilled shrimp sandwich with 3 homemade sauces and a#slaw and two sides and the other people are like... slicing fruit and drizzling a bottle of hersheys chocolate syrup on top of some thing#they just threw in a waffle maker for a few minutes#You see the footage of the teams cooking and everyone is like prepping a ton of different things and meat and vegetables and they have#boiling pots and pans and fryers going and tossing stuff in bowls and compiling these multi component dishes#and then That One Team is always just casually slicing bananas or doing some whipped cream in a bowl gbjhbhj#They usually dont even make their own caramel or chocolate sauces or anything. Nutella out of a jar babey!#So all you're really Making is like... whipped cream. and some sort of batter (waffle. crepe. etc)#If I got placed in a competition like that and I found out one of my opponents just sold waffles or pancake sticks or etc#like that I would just be like... okay.. I'm out then. bye. OR I would pivot and be like.. right I shall remove all complexity from my menu#whatsoever and just start selling plain balls of fried dough with powdered sugar or plain fries with nothing on them or something lol#update: OH my god.. one of these teams on a newer season is selling a 'bonus add on' where you can add#cinnamon sugar and caramel syrup (possibly not even home made by them???? just from a bottle) for $5 extra on your order#If I bought a $12 waffle from a food truck and they were like 'hey do you want to upgrade? for only $5 we'll drizzle a teaspoon#of caramel and sprinkle a little sugar and cinnamon on there!' I feel like I would cancel my order and walk away.#that is a $1 add on at MOST.. for a freaking DRIZZLE of caramel sauce LOL#and of course this team is in the top 3... squirrel.... come ON...#Which I know all these shows are fake and bad and whatever. I dont watch them seriously. I think I liked the first few seasons#but then anything past like season 4 (or whenever they started having established people who already ran food trucks on there#instead of taking a bunch of peope who had never run a food truck before and giving them one - which is a much more equal footing#premise to me) I have just been increasingly annoyed at and I really just have the show on for background noise#whilst doing chores or something and am not genuinely paying that much attention but... my god.. At least try to pretend its fair lol#WHICH I KNOWW... you can say 'well the other teams could do similar if they wanted.' or blah blah. tehcnically it's THEIR choice to#make stuff from scratch and not sell a bunch of packaged frozen chicken wings dropped into a fryer over a shitty 6min waffle or etc.#but... I will never respect a $5 for 1tbsp of caramel sauce type of situation.. even if they win.. you will always be losers in my heart#So many teams with real cooking skill & good concepts go home to the 'slap nutella on fried dough' people... how...
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Sorry guys for being completely unhinged this weekend 🙏 but I can't help it and I refuse to be normal about it
#its been a good weekend what can i say#but like seriously i think this has been the most exciting and insane wknd of my life#like in terms of my interest and hobbies it has been fucking nuts#ive been so deranged thank you mutuals for putting up with me ilysm <3#ive screamed like actually fully screamed at the top of my lungs at least three times this weekend#(the end of that quali session and then josef winning the 500 and then the tomgreg moment)#but i feel like ive just been on crack this whole weekend#its just been insane event after insane event and ive just been completely unhinged !#but its been so much fun i dont think ive had this much excitement and fun in my life in so long#(bahrain probably hsjdjfkf)#okay anyways i need to have like at least 24 hours to calm down so bear with me#AND I STILL HAVE TO WATCH BARRY'S FINALE FUCK#but then after ive recovered from this eventful wknd ill be back on my bullshit!(gifing old stuff lolol)#okay just need to scream bcs i really just dont feel normal at all at the moment#like so many times this wknd ive had so many moments where ive been shaking and heart pounding and sweating#took like 50 years off my life but in a pleasant insane way#great fun i am having :D#again love you guys <3#catie.rambling.txt#oops must add:#succession spoilers
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Hey guys. gay rights
#i already made the sonic one a while bc yknow. kinnie stuff youve all seen my blog theme#but then i was wearing my Fearless Year of Shadow(tm) shirt along with it and my irl bff was like.#'why are you wearing a sonic bracelet with that shirt if you love shadow so much 🤨' *#(he doesnt know much about sth stuff but ive infodumped abt shadow and his backstory to him many times)#and i was like 😭😭 BECAUSE I DONT HAVW A SHADOW KANDI BUT I WANNA MAKE ONE. I WILL SOON#so. now i do!! taking my ad/derall on the weekends always make me want to make more kandi. its great!#and yknow what else it makes me want to do...... talk more on here >:3333#me and my dad are gonna go to a local jazz festival this afternoon bc our jazz combo is playing at it!!#itll be fun. my dad said hes gonna get some food from this really good breakfast place on the way thwre#which is not the best part. the best part is outside the shop there is a wonderful kitty cat who hangs around the parking lot#bc hes owned by the ppl who own the bar right next door#its so great. everybody knows him (the cat) and loves him. the v/ape shop next door has a tip door set up for him even though the#bar owner ppl take care of him and take him to the vet nd stuff. my dad found a faceb/ook page somebody made for him#and apparently it just has pictures of ppl at the bar holding him. its so great and hilarious. this cat is so loved#by the v/ape shop people. by random people at this beachtown bar. by the breakfast shop people.#anyways uh. this post was abkut kandi wasnt it 😭😭😭 lol#cherry chortles#anyways the add/er/all also usually makes me want to look at and sort through my pkmn card collection. so imma do that#because my dads friend (and my friend too i guess! me and him exchange cat photos bc he has this adorable chunky cat named gremlin) that we#play bar trivia with on tuesdays (dw its not really even a bar. its mostly a restaurant) asked me abt my pokemon card collection#bc the final question was to put a few franchises (it was like. dora the ecplora and spide/rman etc. and pokemon) in order of revenue#and obvs pokemon was the top. bc of factors like the trading cards so thats how that came up#we didnt bet any of our points btw but we almost! got it right! the order was pk/mn dora spidamen friends (the tv seies) but we had spidman#as second. but we still won!! our team is on a two game winning streak!!! we always split the money so next week ill get another 8 dolla >:3#wow i havent hit tag limit yert#lol. yall'll open the 'see all tags' thing and boom. do you love the color of the sky type shit 😭😭😭#sorry that sounds too much like aave. i (white baby) cant be sayin that#cherrys kandi#okay well i had a tag with a verse from the ultimarw showdown bc i didnt know what else to say#but with my kandi tag and these two tags i have hit tag limit. thank you folks ill be here all night
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As an white autistic who unlearned several prejudices and stereotypes:
Idgaf how autistic you are, stop being racist.
idgaf how autistic you are stop being racist😭😭
#stop trying to use your neurodiversity as an excuse to make other people uncomfortable#its actually easier with autism because you just identify the talking points and logic them all to dust#then you actively stop yourself whenever you're going back into bad patterns#it might take effort to change but it shouldnt take effort to want to change if you really are a good person#i've also been working on my parents#and im happy to report that they're realizing when and why things they think/say are bad and are putting effort in to be better#my sister not so much but hey im fine with being an only child if I have to be#but please please everyone stop using your neurodiversity to excuse things#its why people dont fucking believe actual neurodivergent problems#if we want people to learn and respect our diasbility then you need to stop using it as an excuse for things it doesn't affect.#specifically your bigotry but that also stands for other things as well#also on that note please let me know if this is not an okay addition to add im not trying to whiteknight anything here#is that the term idk#this is meant to support your post not to piggyback/take credit or anything
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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bestowing my highest honor as an artist to ffxv (drawing the characters in fun outfits)
thoughts under the cut
RREAAAGHHHH SO EXCITED TO BE DONE WITH THIS!!!!! it took me forevarrrr but i soldiered through as an act of love. now excuse me. yap time
OKAY SO the concept behind this was originally specific fashion subcultures for everyone!l ike noct emo ignis dark academia etc. but then decided i didnt want to pigeonhole it all and just freestyled outfits i thought would look nice on everyone
noct - i do think noct would still be emo-ish but also opt for comfy baggy stuff a lot. something you could just fall asleep in on the spot. note the details of bass pro shop shirt (of course) XV necklace, little moon + stars accents, carbuncle + fish keychains. i also wanted his metal band logo shirt to spell LUCIS but i forgor some letters but its not very readable anyways
ignis - ignit ooohghh ignos ignaurs. sorry i made him serve so much cunt it will happen again. i drew him first cause that kind of inspired this whole thing i love him so bad if i didnt draw it id explode. not much detail to note except his collar pins are like his double blade thingies
luna - lunaaa the concept was “clean girl aesthetic” idk if that happened but im actually really happy with how it came out! might be my favorite of the bunch just because she looks so pretty and happy. your honor she should have been able to just be a normal girl and just. chill
prompto - prompotoooo i had trouble picking his vibe!!! my first thought was techwear?? because weeheeeehee he loves tech and well... you know... but then i realized i didnt really like the look of anything i saw + it was so bulky and dark and serious for him! ending up going with some more youthful and baggy. i was considering something more loud and colorful but ended up not going with it. i feel like in canon he'd be too nervous to have such a flashy fit and would want to just look "cool" to fit in with the boys lol. itty bitty details here - chocobo keychain, pompompurin and bi miku buttons, and his lanyard is kings knight themed! i also thought it was funny to write LUCIS on his shirt like you know those shirts that just say BROOKLYN or TOKYO or SAN FRANCISCO and thats it. thats what its like
gladio - okay i know this is going to sound like a lie but im not horny for gladio like at all, hes my least favorite, i think he's just alright. but also i KNOW in my heart of hearts that he would LOVE being a leather daddy and so i had to make it happen. main detail to note here is that his tank top has the motifs of a cup noodle! i didnt know what else to add cause you know.. hes the cup noodle guy.. but also i didnt want it to be so in your face about it with a big as logo so kept it subtle!
(side note the leather daddy gave me an idea for a post where its like noct and prom go to a gay bar all nervous but then they run into gladio and its like "p: GLADIO YOURE GAY?" "n: nevermind that PLEASE dont tell ignis we snuck out" and then ignis walks up and theyre all like WHAT THE FUCK!!!! caption would be "the gang finds out theyre all bisexual." probably wont draw it but i think its very funny lol)
iris - iris my sweetheart.... definitely leaned into the scene vibes here and also that one image of the blonde emo anime girl. details here - of course the moogle big ass backpack and keychain (can you tell i love keychains), but also her buttons are an iris (the flower) and also a crown with hearts (haha symbolism)
anyways oh god i didnt mean to write an essay down here. usually i keep this in the tags but this time i just had Too Much To Say. can you tell i put a lot of thought and love into this . anwyays. *walks off into the sunset and fuckig dies*
#ffxv#final fantasy xv#ff15#final fantasy 15#noctis lucis caelum#ignis scientia#lunafreya nox fleuret#prompto argentum#gladiolus amicitia#iris amicitia#koob art#digital art#procreate#illustration#1k
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IMPORTANT POST PLEASE READ
Im gonna be honest and open for a sec, and please do not take this as "oh I HATE my community or I dont like the people who watch me" but honestly as of late (and I did highlight this during the mcc bit), ive felt like I havent been able to really be in my own community simply because of the constant way that "discourse" is handled. Making vague posts and not really tackling issues in a good way, all that is going to do is just show people a big "THIS COMMUNITY BAD" sign and not actually help anything within the community, all its going to do is have the good and potentially good people leave or not join in the first place. The way that discourse is treated that ive seen has been the main reason why I have started to try to distance myself, which has been the most heartbreaking thing I have had to do. I want problems to be solved in a mature, civil way, with either a dm or a reply, not an entire vague thing that only says "bad things are happening" and doesnt elaborate on anything or barely elaboratesa and only gives people on both the inside and outside a bad sign of what the community is. Making posts whenever something happens being like "here we go again" is only going to highlight the wrong things, and actually DOESNT help the issue at all! The problems should be discussed directly with the people who are doing said problems FIRST! Bring attention to behaviors and things that arent good DIRECTLY! And also, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO!!! It is not your duty as a viewer or fan of me to be involved in any of this if you do not want to! Just enjoy the content and make silly posts! As someone who constantly tried to fix and get into every problem as it was happening, it took a huge toll on my mental health, and I want you guys to just be able to enjoy the content without having to worry about what you say about it! Be constructive! Dont make posts again just being like "wow this community is so bad" because that doesnt solve literally anything! If you have enough passion to make the posts saying "wow this community is bad" then only post about that, you are only spreading that negative message, and not uplifting anything of actual value! And if the person you are trying to help is not willing or not listening, BLOCK! MUTE! DONT BRING MORE ATTENTION TO THE PERSON IF THEY ARE NOT BEING A GOOD PART OF THE COMMUNITY!!!! I know I say that if I see problems I will call them out, but I shouldnt have to babysit every single time a thing happens within the community as that just isnt a healthy way for a creator or a community to be handled. This does not mean that I do not care about the issues or dont want them fixed, rather it shouldnt take me having to make some grand statement every single time something happens it should take only your own self reflection and self awareness. And to add onto this, make sure that every once in a while no matter who you are you think and have that self reflection, you should be open to being willing to learn and grow as a person! And again, I do NOT want anyone taking this as "Wow this community is terrible" but rather that we just have things that need to be fixed and changed and THAT IS OKAY! I do not hate the community, I care so much about it that I want it to be a silly place for my content again! I want it to be the reason why people get into what I do because of it again! And I want to be able to just have fun and relax without having to worry about how every single thing that I may say could have someone stirring things up that simply dont help or solve anything! Take care of yourselves. And this isnt coming from a place of "I hate the community as a whole" but rather again I want to be able to exist and make content that we can all enjoy without having to worry about walking on eggshells around me or around eachother! At the end of the day im just a fella that wants to make silly videos for you all, and you are people who enjoy said videos. Nothing more. Nothing less.
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starring: jordan powell x male reader x vinnie hacker
request: can i get a jordan powell x male reader x vinnie hacker smut fic i CRAVE more vinnie hacker smut
warnings: smut, cursing, unprotected sex, creampie, overstimulation, handjod, making out
when you went out to have some fun at a bar you didnt expect to end up back at a hotel room getting fucked by two guys you barely met but i mean are we really against that (i know you aren't) but you really couldn't complain with such good dick fucking you right now.
i think the guys kissing you was named jordan and the other one fucking you was vinnie, and god was he fucking you good while you were slumped in the arms of jordan who was making out with you, his tongue invading your mouth and his teeth casually nipping at your bottom lip every now and then.
"good boy" jordan whispered in your ear as your head drooped onto his shoulder, vinnies hands snaking up to lift your face off jordans shoulder "mm mm we wanna hear those pretty moans some more baby" he drawls deepening his thrusts into your making you whimper while your hands tighten around jordan arms.
looking up at him with watery eyes from the hours of fucking, feeling so tired but wanting more and more just for him to smile back at you "y'know you look so good all desperate for some cock" he mutters before going back to making out with you, they both enjoyed the sight, vinnie loved seeing you lazily making out with jordan and jordan loved seeing you take vinnies cock.
"yeah just a little more" vinnie said from behind you as he fucked you a little harder, his grip tightening before he came in you, creaming your hole for like the 3rd time tonight, pulling out of you and switching with jordan who slipped into your loose hole easily "did you miss this face" vinnie asked taking jordan place in front of you.
as much as you wanted to make a snarky remark you did in fact like looking at his pretty face but it looked better when he was destroying you hole and before you could answer he was quick to kiss you down your neck, sliding his hand down your back to arch it more, giving him the perfect view of your ass getting fucked.
"keep it just like that mhm" he lowly ordered nipping at your neck making you mewl a little, jordan ran his hands down the insides of your thighs, inching closer and closer to your sensitive cock after hours of cumming "ngh please no" you whine making both of them chuckle before jordan leans over your shoulder "what can't cum anymore" he teases and you shyly nod your head.
"well i think you got one more in you dont you think so vin" he asks "id say he has about three more in him" vinnie answers slipping his hands down to fondle your balls a little snickering at how you moan into the crook of his neck more and more as jordan slowly strokes your aching cock.
vin leans back up to kiss you, quickly making you go quiet as all the pleasure worked your body more and more, hips bucking your ass back onto jordans hips a little more "so slutty huh" jordan says slapping your ass causing you to moan into vins mouth making his cock jump a little.
"c'mon just one more and were done okay" jordan coos next to your ear as his fist tightens around your length and your hole tightens around his cock "yeah just one more for us okay baby boy" vinnie adds holding your face to look at him before your cumming onto the soaked sheets, jordans load spurting into your ass not to soon after.
"good boy" vinnie whispers kissing you while jordan comes down from his high and you collapse onto the bed and soon fall asleep "i like this one" jordan says admiring your sleeping figure "y'think he'd come live with us" vinnie asks.
taglist:@mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat @addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09 @znerac
#vinnie hacker#jordan powell#x male reader#x male y/n#gay smut#x male smut#x male#gay#male reader#bottom male reader#jordan powell x male reader#jordan powell x reader#jordan powell smut#vinnie hacker x reader#vinnie hacker smut#vinnie hacker x male reader#vinnie hacker fanfic
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