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rcksmith · 4 years

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Not you — Five Hargreeves

Requests: “Five Hargreeves x fem!reader, Fluff prompts 9, 52 and 53, please? (You can do this whenever you feel like it) Five and Y/n are both hit by one of Hazel and Cha-Cha’s bullets in the Gimbel Brothers store and they immediately go to the academy (Five wants Y/n treated as soon as possible.) after they’re fine, the siblings start to question them on Five’s protectiveness over Y/n”

“Hii could I request 4 & 23 off the fluff prompts for Five pls ty 😌✨”

Fluff prompts:

4. “Sweetheart, you’re my entire world”

9. “So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend?!" "No, that girl is my wife!”

23. “i’ve dreamt about this.”

52. "Help her first."

53. “There are no limits when it comes to you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

I hope you guys like💖I decided to compile these two requests, since they were the same energy and they prompts connect to a central plot. I added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down. Good reading.

I used here some fragments of the central plot of Five, but, guys, keep in mind that he is 20 years old, and that when he comes back to 2019 Five does not make a mistake in the calculations. I changed the location of the fight too, but a really I hope you, Anon # 1, don't mind.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: blood, mention of death, swearing, fluff too.

— — — — —

You remembered perfectly when you met Five Hargreeves, the commission's golden ball, The Handler's award-winning shamrock. If you closed your eyes, even after years, you could still smell the male cologne wafting in the air, and you could relive the same feeling in the pit of your stomach that you had when he looked at you with those obsedian eyes.

Five Hargreeves was gorgeous. Absurdly gorgeous. But absurdly arrogant, boastful, presumptuous and completely absent of any delicacy in relation to empathy and kindness. He was the type who would open the door for you to enter first, but who would be the first to make fun of your erroneous reasoning.

And that was why, at the time, when you were assigned to be his partner, you lived in conflict with what you really felt. It was a mixture of tantrum and physical attraction.

But unlike all the people around Five, when he spit fire at you with all the anger at his difficult temper, you didn't run. In fact, when it exploded the first time in front of you, you crossed your arms, arched an eyebrow and looked at him with boredom.

“Have you finished your show yet?” You said, as if you didn't care, leaning against the hood of the car while Five screamed through the 7 winds “Stop to imply with everything.”

Five had been your partner for a few months now and it became clearer each day that the irritation was mutual. He made it perfectly clear that you pissed him off until his last hair.

But, unlike you, it was for another reason.

Shit, you were a fucking goddess! Your beauty was notorious, but that was not all that caught his attention. You were smart, canny, brave, Five never saw you in fear of any situation or shaken by any scene of blood. You knew your goals and went after them. It was strong, decisive, and, goddamn, he loved it. You had a fist, you were firm, and you always made it very clear that you were no helpless maiden.

It felt like you had gotten out of his imagination, from the daydreams in which Five rambled about what kind of woman he admired. And, hell, you came with the full package. It was a combination of overwhelming beauty, intelligence, dexterity, and he never thought that someone like that could be real.

But of course you were. And now Five was completely irritated because you were real, and not just another his dream and daydream in which a sublime woman starred.

“To Imply?” Five turned to you, eyes on fire “To Imply?!”

“Like a 2-year-old who didn't take his afternoon nap. It's not the end of time, it doesn't have to be childish.”

Now Five felt himself ignite. He was a dry, rough fire and you were gasoline, igniting everything saw ahead.

Was that damn woman calling he a child?! You?! Just you, the person whose Five wanted to tie the bed and do all kinds of sinful things.

Oh hell no!

Five came forward, furious, like an angry god, his coal eyes never leaving your direction.

“Childish, isn't it?” He snarled “I'm going to show you the childish!”

Five held your face tightly in his hands and pressed your lips to his. Fierce, needy, set on fire, lost in half sentences of feelings about you. He slid his hands to the back of your neck, closing his fingers in your hair and invading your mouth with his tongue, letting you taste the caffeine, danger and lust he had.

You sighed, or Five, or both. You held him as close as he was, with the two of you being on the same mission: to conquer, to take, to possess. But Five had an extraordinary intensity, a magnitude that managed to win you

Then your touch became more docile, your kiss became submissive and you were surrendered. When Five walked away, not with his body, he still held you against him, but with his head, enough to look you in the eye, you sighed.

“I’ve dreamt about this.” You gave up your game, because you couldn't pretend anymore, and Five responded by kissing you again, this time tasting your whole mouth.

After that day, Five and you never came apart. You two were like a dynamic duo, crime partners in the morning and intense lovers at night.

But Five spent so much time with affection, love and caring being denied that when, on a night when work got the best of him, Five fell into the bed you shared in a Motel room, very close to your lap and you smiled sweetly and ran your fingers through his black hair, establishing the affection there, Five was catatonic.

His wild mind wanted to take it away and go, tell you to swallow those loving gestures and that he would never need them. That they were a nuisance, a distraction.

But his body and heart... well, they begged Five to stay another second. Just one more second enjoying that touch, the care, the importance that someone felt for him. He liked to be pampered, who knew.

So he ended up falling asleep with your touch and, after that day, Five realized that if his body and heart couldn't get any further from you, then no one would ever take you away from him. You would stay with him, until the end. As long as you wanted to stay.

And you wanted to. You wanted all the stages, all the moments, all the fights. You wanted Five, completely. And after some time like that, he said that you two were going to get married. It wasn't a request, it wasn't a speculation, it was a fact and that's it. You laughed, it was Five's style to be embarrassed about something and treat it more coarsely, just because he didn't know how to deal with the emotions he felt.

“Of course I do.” You reassured him by bringing your hands to his face, tracing affectionate circles on his cheek with your thumb.

“You would have no other option.” He grunted, not looking at you, trying to divert attention from his own racing heart.

You laughed and sealed the future of the two of you with a kiss.

After five years of making it official, Five said he had found a way for him to get home. And as he spoke, you noticed a flickering hesitation in his eyes. You knew, at that moment, that Five would leave it behind if there was a chance that you wouldn't want to go along. He promised to love you, in joy and sadness, in difficult times and in good times, and he never broke a promise.

Five Hargreeves would stay for you. In 1963, in 1988, in 2019, it didn't matter the season, the year. It wouldn't be worth anything if didn't have you by his side.

But, like him, it was logical that you would never abandon him, ever. So you went along. It was together in the murder in 1963, it was together at the time of the target, and it was together when he jumped in the portal. You were with Five when he reunited with his family, they all amazement by the 13 year old little brother who disappeared to reappear as a man of 25. On top of that accompanied by a girl.

But Five still couldn't administer his emotions properly, he still couldn't say that he missed his brothers and that being without his family had been terrible. His past contained many shipwrecks and he did not know how to open up about it. After so many years alone and then killing without any judgment, it was difficult to connect with emotions.

So, instead of saying everything that screamed inside him, after just some time with the siblings he took your hand and pulled you out, telling the Hargreeves that he would go after a decent coffee.

“I wish I could have talked to them better.” You grumble whit Five and he rolled his eyes.

“As if they were going to understand the things you were going to explain.” He murmured, covering the whole issue of the Commission and time jumps.

“This is not difficult to explain.” You raised your left hand, signaling the silver circle that hugged your finger.

Five laughed, sipping his coffee.

“You will be my wife forever, there is plenty of time for you to tell that.”

But as soon as Five's words had just left your lips, blowing in the air like fog, the door to the store opened, and you two didn't have to turn around to find out who they were. Years on the commission have earned you enough training to even recognize the sound of their footsteps.

The exchange of looks that Five and you gave was enough to know what each one was thinking and how they would act. That was your secret language, the superpower that you two shared. No words were needed to understand each one like the back of your hand.

You took a deep breath, while your fingers on your right hand steadied yourself on the coffee cup and Five on the knife. There was no waiting for speeches, exchanging words, you both knew that the Commission would send the best agents besides you, and Hazel and Cha-Cha were not known to be late at work.

Then the action started, Five turned and teleported with the knife, shoving it into the leg of one of the agents covered in rabbit masks. You didn't stay behind and swivel your chair around, throwing the sizzling coffee into the second's hands, causing him to drop the gun on the floor. You didn't wait to kick him in the chest, making him stagger backwards as you got up from the chair. You and Five were good, but so was Hazel and Cha-Cha, and you couldn't count on the powers to dodge physical attacks.

Everything was very fast indeed, windows were broken, punches were exchanged, blood was plucked. But when you looked to the side and saw who was probably Cha-Cha pushing Five against a broken glass stake, you understood why love at work was so dangerous. You understand completely. Because you've lost your focus. It took a thousandth of an instant for years of training and improvement to be thrown out the window. Only the possibility of Five getting hurt got you off track, and that was fatale.

The agent who fought with you took advantage of your distraction, reaching for the gun that was on the floor in that split second. And a shot reverberated through the place.

Suddenly, the world for Five stopped the axis. Everything was suspended, appalled, frozen. And in that very second, his body shivered from head to toe, as if misfortune had sighed in his neck. Five Hargreeves never feared anyone, even death itself. But as soon as he heard the sound of the shot, Five tasted death. Was rough, metallic and cruel, the blood drained from the body and the world released a dark and funeral note, sinking into a black sea.

Because fear is not the bullet hitting you, but someone you love.

Five turned back, eyes wide, hands shaking, and he didn't know what was beating faster: his fear or his heart.

He would remember that moment as the most cruel and frightening of his entire life, years in the apocalypse and killing had no comparison to the terror that was seeing your white shirt start to be stained with blood, the bullet hole marking your abdomen. You looked up at him, shocked, livid, and Five could see death perfectly, pulling the vitality out of your eyes.

He didn't think, he didn't reason, he just teleported himself to you, taking your body in his arms and teleported you two away from there. Five’s hands were shaking, a visceral pain snaking through his body and suffocating him with the worst sensation Five had ever felt in his life.

He took you both to the Hargreeves mansion in the blink of an eye, his powers failing when the blue flash left you both in the giant living room.

“Five!”

Maybe it was Luther's voice, or Klaus, or Diego, he didn't know. Everything was a distant echo, a note submerged in the water. Five saw or heard nothing but your body in his arms, your eyes closed and face frighteningly pale, his right hand, which was pressing on your wound, was already soaked in blood.

It was too much blood, the smell was overwhelming, and for the first time in a long time, Five Hargreeves was in despair.

Hands touched his shoulders, and Grace's voice was heard in the background. But he didn't want treatments, whatever the goddamn his wounds were going to be.

“Help her first!” Five shouted, his voice finding strength in the terror he felt. And also in fury.

The Handler would pay for that, and so would Hazel and Cha-Cha. And, by God, the whole world would pay if you never opened your eyes again.

“Right now.” Maybe it was Pogo “But, Five, are you…”

“No!” He ordered “She first!”

Then Grace's hands took you out of his arms and Five refused to leave you for even a second. He was beside you at the operating table, holding your hand, with him bloody fingers of your blood and the agent he had fought.

But Five didn't care about the himself state, the people around it, or anything. His eyes were focused on you, his face frozen in a livid expression.

And when Grace said that you would need a blood transfusion and Five barely let her finish speaking before rolling up the manga and extending his arm, the siblings Hargreeves and Pogo were shocked. What they saw in Five's eyes was not a man afraid of losing someone, but of losing the person he loved.

I shouldn't have come back. Was Five's first thought when the surgery ended well and you were still asleep. It was his fault that you almost died. And everything was buzzing in Five's head like a propellant.

“So…”

Klaus appeared in the kitchen, with the siblings, while Five was washing the blood from his hands, now calmer since you were alive.

“That was heavy.” Luther let out a little gasp, a kind of choked laugh.

“Aren't you going to tell us what happened?” Allison sat at the table.

“She almost died because of my decision, that's what happened.” Five replied, turning and picking up a cloth from the table, drying his hands.

“Five...” Allison made his eyes go towards his sister “Who is she, actually ?”

Five gave a bitter laugh. Who were you? How would he explain it?

You are everything. The reason wake up everyday was good, what made the summer breeze and the sun's rays warm, the reason why his world was still spinning.

Who were you? It was absolutely everything for Five.

“Someone very important.” His whispered escaped.

“So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend ?!" Luther looked at Five in shock, as if the possibility of him having a girlfriend was absurd.

“No.” Five looked at Luther with fire in his eyes, his voice hoarse “That girl is my wife!”

The room's breath evaporated, everyone was dumbfounded and bewildered. But Grace came in at that moment, saving Five from continuing that conversation.

“She woke up.” His mother's voice was soft, and Five dropped everything he was doing and disappeared into the blue flash.

The first thing he noticed when he entered that room was you sitting on the bed, your back against the headboard.

“Hey...” the smile you gave made Five's world spin again.

He didn't wait a second before walking up to you in quick steps, holding your face in his hands and sealing your lips in a desperate kiss, as if that could prove that everything was fine.

“I thought I lost you.” He whispered against your lips, hands shaking, thumbs stroking yours cheeks.

“Bad vase doesn't break early.” You joked and Five laughed softly, his forehead touching your. “Were you hurt?”

He denied it, still with you, as if letting you was impossible. Maybe it was.

“I got distracted, I'm sorry that we let them escape and...”

Five interrupted your sentence

“Sweetheart…” You stopped, bewitched by his tone of voice “You’re my entire world.”

Five wasn't calling Hazel and Cha-Cha right now. He would kill that entire Commission later. Later. Now the only thing that mattered was you.

“I shouldn't have broken our contracts with the commission. I shouldn't have put you in this.” He said “But ... but I am very selfish, and even though I knew it would be better to let you go back to the Commission, I cannot live without you...”

“Hey, I not go come back.” You held his hands that were on your face, looking at him with love "My place is with you.”

“I promise you that I will never let anyone else hurt you. Even if I have to kill every single person on this planet. ” Five guaranteed “There are no limits when it comes to you. I'll do anything to keep you safe. ”

You smiled, put your lips together in a passionate kiss and whispered:

“I only need you, my love. Forever.”

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garrothromeave · 4 years

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the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused.

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk.

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline?

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest.

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk

#in conclusion i hate it here #lets go back to mystreet bein slice of life pls #anyways tune in next week for 'the hell is pdh??'#aphmau #mcd #mystreet #minecraft diaries #please ignore these next tags im just promoting relentlessly #garroth ro'meave #zane ro'meave #aaron lycan #kawaii chan #kim mystreet #laurance zvhal #pls i have no idea how to tag posts #rant

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laufire · 4 years

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Supernatural s5

I finished it a little while ago, but I haven’t had the time to make an involved post about it -or watch that much of s6 yet; I’m trying to be Resposible and the time I have has been spent in advancing fics a little bit or answering short asks lol.

-I have really enjoyed this season for the most part, but there’s something I need to get of my chest LOL: all through it, the song “Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)” played in my head xDD. Like, listen, I knew what I was signing up for with this show!! I didn’t expect NOT to find it offensive or regressive on multiple occasions!! But I guess s3-4 must have spoiled me lmao. I’m not saying those seasons are the height of feminism, but if you removed its most important female characters, ESPECIALLY Ruby, the plot of the season would fall apart. That’s not something you can say for s5 and preventing the Apocalypse, just sayin’.

It wouldn’t’ve been that hard to expand Meg’s, Anna’s or the Harvelle’s part (they had good material to go there -Meg as the faithful possibly opening her eyes, Anna as the betrayed and the juror jury and executioner, the Harvelles as normal hunters fighting something way too big for them-, but barely any time and like I said, no incidence in the actual plot of the season). Hell, I’m biased but bringing back Ruby would’ve at least taken care of the problem lol. Or if the show had indulged me and kept Bellamy Young as Lucifer, at least. But everyone with a real say in the plot is a dude, or at least wearing one as a vessel (angel’s conception of gender is clearly different from humans, but in terms of ~~representation the results are the same lbr).

-My constant frustrations with Supernatural’s bigotry-related stuff lol, like I said, I really enjoyed the season (that combination is one of the most frustrating things about the show lmao). Especially Castiel’s plot. The guy has reached Potential Hall of Faves status and that’s hum. A Problem xD

But seriously, he was breaking my heart in all the best ways. His search for God (the Absent Father that the show specifically compared to John añsldkfjasf. This show ISTG!!), his disappointment and sense of betrayal at being let down (he called God Himself “son of a bitch”!!!). I was especially fascinated by his Endverse version -that AU will have its own section lol-, although it resulted in making me reaaaally nervous whenever he was close to an addictive substance :). Like yes, those scenes were lowkey humourous and adorable (like when he drinks shots with the Harvelles and Ellen is fascinated and Jo delighted -... lowkey shipping this too btw. Lowkey shipping Castiel with lots of people-, or his combo with Sam when he got drunk), but also, you know, WORRYING xD

Some of my favourite scenes of his were, predictably, his interactions with Meg or Lucifer in 5x10. The Megstiel scene was SUPER HOT (both their voices are very unf-y lol), I can’t wait to edit it. And having Lucifer call Castiel “a peculiar thing” sure was something xD (although lbr, this Lucifer isn’t keeping with his rebel angel reputation, Castiel is carrying that all by himself smh).

Another scene I couldn’t get out of my head if I wanted to is when he uhhhh... completely LOSES IT and starts beating the crap out of Dean when he was ready to give it up to Michael. “I gave everything for you, and this is what you give me?!?” ooooooof. It was hard to watch, and fascinating and intense. I shamelessly loved it lmfao.

Though my favourite moment of his is one that can only be appreciated when you know certain things about s6. It’s the scene where, unlike everyone else, he shows appreciation for Sam’s plan of sacrificing himself to get rid of Lucifer. Because yes, at this point it’s the only thing that can save the world. But Castiel isn’t saying, “Sam’s life is a small price to pay in comparison”, because he will go into s6 and snatch Sam out of the cage immediately. s5 established Sam got out, so with that in mind, he didn’t bring it up because he didn’t want to create false hope in case he failed, but he backed the plan with the intention of saving Sam anyway. I love that. I love him.

-The entire season was Missing Ruby Hours for me lmfao. Like I said, some of the problems in the season wrt female characters would’ve been at the very least lessened if she’d gotten to be here wrecking havoc. But generally I just miss her and What Could Have Been with her here. I enjoyed some of the crumbs (Sam using the witchcraft skillz he learned from her! Sam immediately knowing Meg isn’t Ruby, unlike Dean! Her knife! The ARCHANGEL GABRIEL referencing her as “the demon Sam chose over his brother”!! The callbacks with Crowley or Brady!!), but I would’ve wanted her here, dammit xD.

-Aaaaand we’re finally getting to Sam, who is without a doubt the star of the season, if you ask me. His plan at the end, to let Lucifer possess him in the hopes he can fight back for just long enough to overpower him and throw them both into the cage, with no hopes for himself? This is the kind of Big Damn Hero stunt I’m a sucker for, I won’t lie. And I love that the show felt the need to confirm he was still alive at the end of the season hehe.

He really Went Through It this season and he held on lmfao. On top of everything (the apocalypse, the guilt of being its final trigger, the addiction recovery, etc.), he also had to deal with Dean’s usual bullshit, which is no small feat xDD. Like, sure, from an audience stand-point all those things are interesting (some fave/the fuck moments are when Dean is obviously peeved that Bobby still supports Sam because he wanted Bobby in HIS corner, or when he has the nerve to say he wants to say yes to Michael because he doesn’t trust SAM not to say yes to Lucifer lmfaoooo), BUT IT’S STILL A FEAT XD

One note: for all the talk about bi!Dean, bi!Sam is so SEEN this season xDD. AFAIC he totally hooked up with that bartender Paul (RIP Paul. At least in your last moments you enjoyed Sam, who’s clearly an energetic, attentive lover 😔). And Crowley refers to Brady as Sam’s demon ex-boyfriend and nobody bats and eye lmfao (that story is so angsty... the parallels to Ruby, how he ingratiated himself with Sam by pretending to have fallen off the wagon... ouch).

-I have mixed feelings on Crowley. On his own, I fell absolutely in love with the guy on his first appearance. A demon that DOUBTS Lucifer and doesn’t kiss his ass?? That wants to get rid of him and do his own thing?? And clearly enjoys ~earthly pleasures to the fullest (his complains about how the other demons ate his tailor had me rolling laksjdfa)? The way he turned the tables on Brady? OFC I love him. OTOH boy, does it annoy me knowing that fandom GLADLY embraced him when they condemned characters like Bela or Ruby for similar things. It’s not his fault so I still like him (he’s like Gabriel in that sense), but it’s annoying!

It also annoys me how Dean Must Be Right All The Time syndrome interacts with him lol. This season Dean decides they can trust Crowley (despite Crowley killing two humans in front of him and getting him beat up by Brady lol), so they can. Next season he decides they can’t, so Castiel will be WrongTM because Dean Says So. Ugggggh xD

-To be fair, however, this season has my fave Dean so far LOL. In the love/hate scale, this one has been almost solely in camp love, barring some of those moments of irksome hypocrisy that he’s so prone to xD.

But there was something about how this season’s plot chipped away at him, you know? For all the traits he has that drive me up the wall or unsettle me, I appreciate a lot of his personality because it makes him a unique and interesting character driving the narrative -his irreverence, his ability to think on the fly and get out of shitty situations, his disbelief. Seeing all of those things under siege this season made me hurt for him in a way I hadn’t anticipated LOL. By the time he was ready to give in to Michael (and I love that what made him step away from that choice was Sam showing a trust in him he patently didn’t deserve lbr), sometimes I felt terribly for the guy.

I also wonder if this season kind of marked like... the beginning of the end for him, narrative-wise? Making him Michael’s vessel (his angel condom) is the kind of thing that turns him from subject into object, and that can doom characters ime. The fact that he ~resigns himself to Sam’s death when his identity as a character came with being His Brother’s Keeper is another slight.

-I continue having mixed feelings about Destiel too LMAO. I’ve decided I’m just going to try to enjoy the good and interesting parts while I can, while trying not to think of future developments that’ll likely sour the ship for me lol.

Because in truth, yeah, I enjoy their interactions a lot here! The Endverse was particularly enjoyable for me (back to that in a moment), but the entire season had a lot of gems. That moment in the finale, when Dean is wounded on his knees after Sam sacrifices himself, and Castiel resurrects and heals him with a touch? And Dean is staring in awe and asks him if he’s become God?? Like wtf am I supposed to do with that. WHO SAYS THAT. XDD

-The Endverse. Omgggggggg. The Endverse. I doubt I can say anything about it that hasn’t been said a thousand times, but seriously. I loooove it, all of it. My favourite was endverse!Castiel, ofc. The way he was in No Man’s Land, not an angel and not quite a human, his ways of trying to cope with that, how burned he was... I uncomfortably related to some of it too lmfao, but let’s not get into that xD.

Seeing both Deans interact was gr10 too. They really couldn’t stand each other lmfao (do you understand me now Dean?? They actually reminded me of two OCs in an original WIP of mine that are in a similar situation -in this case it’s the future version purposefully traveling to the past though-, which made me even fonder of the AU). And the Destiel? *chef’s kiss*. The bitterness, like when Castiel laughs when present!Dean berates endverse!Dean about the tortures and then purposefully says “I like past you” to hurt him asñldkfjasf. Or those looks when Dean returns to the past and tells Castiel to “never change” d’aw.

I loved Lucifer!Sam in this episode too (and personally, I think in the finale Lucifer -and Michael- should’ve changed his outfit too. Sam’s clothes just don’t get to The Devil’s levels, but that white suit was perfect). He was terrifying xD.

BTW: I’ve decided that, since we never see endverse!Castiel die, well. He didn’t xD. I could see Lucifer keeping him alive and captive out of a sense of nostalgia, as Castiel is the only other thing close to a fellow angel left. Might even decide to return his powers with time, or to ~entice him with such an offer lol. And ofc I headcanon Sam is still inside, occasionally trying to fight. Cue in all the Castiel/Lucifer and Castiel/Sam fic ideas too (I have waaaaay too many of those for this mini-verse. It’s very inspiring).

-I’m still on the fence at Lucifer’s motivations but I can’t question how the family issues fit so, so well into this ‘verse. “Family is hell” is the show’s thesis, after all xD. IMO the angels in general don’t feel like a family, they’re a military body/cult lol, but the Archangels are another matter. I guess is the whole “only four angels have seen God-slash-Dad” thing, the rest were... well, the help, apparently.

But Lucifer, Michael, and Gabriel do feel like brothers when they interact (I’m guessing here Gabriel is the Adam: discarded by the other two like nothing :)))). Raphael too, but since he doesn’t interact with them... does he get to later? Or is he the odd one out? Did the others avoid him because he kept quoting Nietzsche at dinner?? LOL.

-There are no words to explain how terribly I feel for Adam. JFC that poor KID. Who was kind and helpful and intuitive, and only wanted his mother back and to help stop the end of the world. And that Sam and Dean will leave rotting in Hell for a millennia :))). It’s kiiiiiiiiind of hard to do for your show’s “heroes” when they do shit like that lmfao. It’d be different if they never tried to make him feel he’s family, but Sam tried to convince him with the bs “because we’re blood” and they did a half-baked attempt at saving him from Zacharias, and then... yeah. At least he had Michael in the cage, but still.

-I was already spoiled of this, but the reveal that cupids made John and Mary fall in love is so chilling (good on Dean for punching that cupid asshole, btw). It puts what Mary says about John in flashbacks, about how much she loves him and how perfect he is, in such a terrifying light. And I’m under the impression that the show didn’t bother to deal with this properly when they resurrected Mary and just... I hate that tbh. It’s a narrative choice that should have a huuuge impact, dammit.

-I kind of loved how bitter and angry Bobby was about (temporarily, thanks to Crowley, his new demon bf -watch out Rufus) ending up in a wheelchair. That there were no platitudes or false sentimentality and it just... was.

-The Harvelles’ had a good send off. I can respect Kripke for wanting his faves to go on his terms lol. Having Jo refuse Dean’s offer of a fuck on their possible last night on Earth with “I rather spent it with a little thing I have self-respect”? Not because she doesn’t have feelings for him, but because she thinks she deserves better from him? I love it. This guy knows his pettiness xD

-The fact that this fandom seems to have ignored Gabriel x Kali is one of the reasons I’m never going to vibe with it, sns. Immortal exes? Check. She tricked him and killed him... but then it turns out HE tricked and he’s alive? Check. BUT THEN HE STILL GOES BACK AND SAVES HER, DYING BY HIS BROTHER’S HAND?? CHECK CHECK CHECK. Ugh, why can’t they come back to me. I know, I know, Kali is a WoC and those are only allowed one (1) appearance before they’re killed off, apparently. So it might be a good thing that she doesn’t return xD. But gosh, they were gr10.

-Death the Horseman’s intro cleared my skin. I love him. I love how utterly terrifying he is and how chilling his and Dean’s scene was. And I yearn to find a picture of the guy a little younger and with a goatee, because he’s the most perfect Discworld’s Vetinari fancast I’ve ever found xDD

-I’ve seen tons of commentary over the years, and especially lately for obvious reasons, about how this season finale would’ve been a much better ending for the show. I’m not there yet, and it does sound like the finale was a mess and this one’s was a very well constructed episode (and, ofc, the Final Love Interest was NOT blurry!!). But even if by the end I come to loathe the finale, there’s one reason I already know won’t let me agree on the s5 ending being perfect: God xDD

The episode makes Chuck come across as a ~benevolent figure and no, fuck that, do NOT want, take it away from me!! Give me God as the Big Bad Wolf, the last evil to conquer any day. It’s like Dumbledore all over again: I enjoy the character a lot more if I feel canon and I are on the same page wrt his shadiness xDD

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whaq · 4 years

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Fuck You, Animu (1/4)

A dumbass’ war of heart and mind A few months ago, I hit a creative block. Despite considering myself a jack of many mediums, I couldn’t for the life of me bring myself to make--well... anything. While I do have a Google Keep of creative ideas I’ve come up with over the years, I was unable to find the drive (pun shoehorned) to get started on any of them. This sent me into a bit of a spiral. A lot of creatives probably empathize: you find yourself lacking the motivation to create so it starts to negatively affect your self-worth, which is tied to your ability to make things, and this lack of confidence compels you to just succumb to melancholy, finding yourself the victim of a self-fulfilling prophecy to become a slacker because you think you already ARE one.

I was a couple months into this when a buddy of mine hit me up asking if I heard about a call for local anime reviewers. At that moment, it almost felt like divine intervention from God, who I only ever felt in the burning sensation radiating through me whenever I was within 10 feet of a church. An anime news site, let’s call em Animu, with a relatively large following, was searching for writers who would join their staff to review anime being released in the winter season with a salary to boot. As an avid anime fan myself, who just so happened to have honed his critiquing skills over years of media consumption {that has since ruined my viewing experience for the foreseeable future (I legitimately suck the joy out of every piece of media I consume now)}, I saw this as my opportunity to be able to use my skills for some form of monetary gain; which was always a concern of mine throughout my life. Growing up, I was never really good at anything that could easily become a profession later in life. I was too awful at biology to become a doctor, not smart enough at maths to be the next Pythagoras, nor was I athletic enough to shoot a basketball, let alone make it in the NBA. I was good at talking in, and understanding, English... and that was it. At the time, I didn’t realize I had a knack for writing and oration, but even once I did, I found that the trajectory towards being a professional for either of those fields wasn’t so simple. Most people still have the childish idea that “Oh, writers write books and speakers do… speaking things!” but it waters down such a wide yet closed off section of the professional world. Writing alone has so many different specializations: journalism, screenwriting, book authoring, all such niches that don’t have as established a path as scoring high on the Bar exam or being scouted on varsity; it’s difficult to find a place in this world with that skill set, a fear that a majority of creatives have. So I needed some form of validation, an instance of acceptance that’ll allow me to finally believe that my work is worth something and, most importantly, enjoyed by someone. So I started working on my application for Animu by selecting three different series that I was interested in tackling: Re:Zero, Cells at Work, and Kaguya-Sama: Love is War. Starting from zero The posts after this contain these reviews in the state I submitted to Animu. I spent about a month working on these. Re:Zero’s review was close to my usual style of critique, which focuses on the technical aspects and their execution as well as commentary on any relevant subtext, minus the subtext. I wanted to seem as professional as possible with the first one and tried to keep to the proposed 1200 word word limit. With Cells At Work, however, I tried to have a bit of fun. There were many rumblings around the community about the series’ cancer episode which I was eager to capitalize on. That said, upon rewatching the episode, I came across some potentially problematic scenarios that could’ve been blown out of proportion by some headline-chasing media outlet; so that’s exactly what I did. No, I wouldn’t in my right mind compare chibified blood cells to Nazi sympathizers (then again, I’m never in my right mind). Lastly, was Kaguya-Sama, which became my favorite anime of the past couple years. This series was the first anime that got me to actively follow the source material as it hit two of my most identifying traits, being a cinephile and humor academic, as well as a side I’m slightly embarrassed by, my interest in romantic comedies. I wanted to attempt a review that was just hype-hype-hype as it was what the series sparked within me. Oh, and you SHOULD read Kaguya-Sama. Bleeding out After a modicum of proofreading, as well as some peer review from my closest confidants, I sent over my application and I waited. As my heart raced on the day of the announcement, my name was nowhere to be found. To add insult to injury, I was informed that I scored absolutely horribly by Animu’s criteria, my highest grade being one that’d flunk in the most forgiving of schools. While you’d expect me to be crestfallen, I was actually ecstatic to know that the community I’ve been a part of, a local one no less, had people with an even larger passion and greater skills than even I. As someone who went through childhood being made fun of for my interests that have somehow developed into geek chic and gone mainstream (something that, contrary to most of the community, I’m happy to see), I was glad to see how much people like me had developed from waifu worshipping weaboos to outstandingly ornate otaku. Hell, I was content to have made some content. I was looking forward to seeing the fruits of labor from those who were more deserving than me. So imagine my surprise when what I found posted a month later was absolute garbage. I’m not going to get into detail, seeing as said details could lead to someone getting doxxed just because they didn’t meet MY oh so high standards (/s), but what I will say was that the quality of the content indicated something more telling about the whole ordeal. I have taken part in two completely different student publications in my time, and I can say with utmost certainty that THE GRADE SCHOOLERS I MENTORED WROTE BETTER, AND THEY WEREN’T EVEN PAID. Still, it was nice to know I still had it in me to make something of substance. And on this commemorative day, I open up my blog by making public my entries for all to ridicule. As much as I talked down the winning entries, I don’t believe mine were perfect. Like most of my work, it’s rushed and rambly, full of tangents and misnomers. But, it’s very me, and I’m quite happy to see something from me see the light of day.

I hope you find some amusement in my bemusement.

p.s. Yes, the headers are attempts at relating to the three shows p.p.s.s. Yes, they’re BAD attempts at relating to the three shows

#anime #manga #review #anime review #rant #petty #spite #critic #critique #nerd

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bodakim · 5 years

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Hibike Chikai no final - review with spoilers -

So, I finally watched Hibike Euphonium Chikai no final, and I wanted to do a “quick” review about it. I know this is going to be a bit subjective because I am obviously biased, but I am gonna try to be as objective as I can.

Also little disclaimer, but I am going to spoil so I can really give my arguments about the movie without holding myself.

For my general opinion if people wanna know without reading everything, I would give this movie a 4/10 at most. I had a huge problem with the pacing, with some directing decisions and with some scenes. I know I have to take the movie as an individual work and not comparing it to the novel (because a lot of important scenes have been cut from the novel), but I would say that if we compare Chikai No Final to Liz To Aoi tori... For a music anime, Chikai barely has any music, and most of the OST is truly forgetable.

For the in-depth part review...

I will start with the positive points.

- Most of the side characters (and by that, I mean... All the characters who aren’t Kumiko, for this movie) are really amazing. But this isn’t much of a surprise: they already were in the past. The new ones are really lovable too, but I am keeping something for the “bad part”. I am giving a point to Reina alone, but it’s because I love her with all my heart.

- The aesthetic is as beautiful as ever. But once again, it was to be expected from a Kyoani movie. The background is amazing, the colours are lively and give a true paw to the work, not mentioning that it gives a life to the movie.

There was one moment I also found really great in term of directing. During the Kantai competition, when they are playing Liz and the blue bird... During Mizore Oboe and Nozomi Flute “talking” to each other, the oboe part focus on Kumiko (implying that she is the blue bird) and the flute answer focus on Reina (implying that she is Liz). And that part was really well done.

Aaaaand that’s pretty much already it. Now I will go for everything I consider as negative.

- The pacing. Truly, this movie is going wayyyyy too fast. I know it’s only a movie to summarize two whole novels covering both Liz to aoi Tori and Chikai no final, but they cut a lot of character development and important matters due to the pacing.

First of all, Kumiko... Seems to have absolutely no idea about what she is doing in this movie. She is... here. Sometimes she makes cute Kumiko noise and she is being her usual self. But I can’t find the impact this girl had on me during the two seasons. How relatable she was, how emotional she could make me feel. And due to that, there were a lot of important scenes that were supposed to have a high impact... And ended up like a flop to me. I think, for example, about the scene with Kanade. Surely, Kumiko is shining and helpful with Kanade. And she has grown, which is really nice to see. But sometimes, she is just... Smiling, for no reason, and not reacting the way I have been used to see Kumiko reacting whenever she is serious.

Speaking of Kanade, I said I wouldn’t compare with the novel, but... She is mostly being cute and hinting a small part of her personality in the movie... But clearly doesn’t show all her potential. The movie clearly overlook her relationship with Natsuki, only quickly showing it during... One scene (when it’s totally built up in the novel). Kanade is supposed to be really close of Ririka, and... I don’t even think we see them interacting in the movie. Like, at all.

I am doing another paragraph for this one, because it counts for Kanade, but also for all the other characters: due to the pacing, we don’t see them playing individually, and we don’t really hear them in the group (because there aren’t many performances, in fact.) So... When, for example, Natsuki mentions that Kanade’s euphonium is way better than hers... Yes, nice. But we didn’t hear it. We have no real idea if it’s really the case beside hearing the characters talking about it. Same for Mirei and Sasuki. When they have their issue, it’s hard to really believe what they say considering we barely saw them playing together.

Also yes, Nozomi and Mizore got their own movie with Liz... But here, they don’t talk at all. I think we can easily count the frames where they appear during the 1h40. A lot of other characters (like, Natsuki) don’t have many lines or appearance either.

- The continuity. And along the continuity, I am also going to talk about the relationship between Shuuichi and Kumiko.

This movie is supposed to continue Hibike after the second season. And that gives me a huge issue with the way Ishihara threated ShuMiko relationship.

I am going to compare it with both the novel, but also with Tamako Market (because I saw a lot of people comparing it with the way Tamako love story was created).

In the novel, there’s a build up to their relationship. Shuuichi has way more scenes than in the anime, some parts actually can make sense to give credit to their relationship, and Shuuichi’s confession take place during second season of Hibike. But it doesn’t come out of nowhere. There was something clearly established. And then, during the second year novel, Kumiko doubt about her feelings. They are clearly more acting like friends than a couple, and when the break up scene happen after all the doubts and also everything that happened during the novel, it also makes complete sense.

In Hibike season 1 and 2, Shuuichi is inexistant. He barely appear, and when he does, Kumiko doesn’t show any interest into him. Like, at all. Their relationship looked completely like a brotp with one sided love from Shuuichi side.

And when Shuuichi confess literally during the first minute of the movie... Not only it seems wrong, but it’s totally coming out of nowhere in the continuity of the previous seasons. They sell it like a kind of Tamako Love Story scene, but...

The reason why it worked in Tamako Love story was because Tamako had actually quite some scenes with Mochisu during the anime season. Surely, she was completely oblivious about his feelings for her, but they had some nice scenes together, Tamako never blocked Mochisu, and the build up was there. Then, they had an entire movie LITERALLY building up their relationship. It doesn’t happen in the first minutes of the movie, but mostly at the very end.

In this case, the whole Shuuichi Kumiko relationship just come out of somewhere ???

And something that really annoyed me was the fact they added some pointless drama (that wasn’t even a drama) about Shuuichi and a random first year... And then added a lot to the Agata festival scene (because basically, in the novel, Kumiko didn’t plan to go with him. She just spends a bit of time with him before they just part way without doing anything because Kumiko planned to join Reina at her place, and Shuuichi is too scared of Reina to even walk Kumiko to her place - not mentioning she refused, anyway -)

And since they cut so many scenes mentioning Kumiko’s doubt about her feelings for him that were in the novel, when they actually break up in the movie... It’s also totally out of nowhere. Kumiko mentions that she is busy, but... In Chikai, we don’t actually see her being busy. (Which join the problem of pacing I mentioned earlier).

- Some scenes are completely out of character. And I am thinking about one scene in particular that I absolutely hated when it should have been one of my favorite (on a very subjective side).

During the Agata festival, when Kumiko joins Reina atop Mt Daikichi, they have a similar discussion to what they have in the novel... Except that it doesn’t happen the same way and the discussion cut in the middle of nowhere when Kumiko asks for Reina to play for her.

As I already mentioned, they can totally change some scenes. As long as it still make sense and have the same meaning, it’s perfectly fine to do so. I didn’t expect them to adapt 100% of the novel scene.

In the novel, Kumiko and Reina were way more intimate during this scene. Kumiko mostly lays with her head against Reina’s laps, and when she asks Reina to play for her... She simply enjoy the music and wish they could stay this way and that nothing would change between them (because they were talking about their future, like in the anime... Except that the exchange was more powerful).

What I REALLY hated in the anime because it’s a huge finger raised to everyone, and totally out of character from Kumiko’s part... Kumiko asked Reina to play. Reina is playing her trumpet for Kumiko, and Kumiko... Text Shuuichi during the performance. Just. No.

Kumiko loves music, and she loves Reina’s sound. When Reina is playing, she would NEVER do anything else but listening to her performance... And it made me wanna bang my head against a wall (which is also an Ishihara addition, just like a lot of parts of the Reina arc in season 2... And I really dislike some of his choices.)

- Some scenes aesthetic.

Showing a few scenes through a phone could be a nice and interesting idea... Not when it’s every x minutes, and when it shows mostly characters we have never heard about, and we won’t see anymore for the remaining of the movie. The two first scenes made me low key smile. The 25 other made me wanna facepalm.

We are quite far from the impeccable aesthetic of Liz and the blue bird, and the animation between the scenes always on point. I can also understand why he decided to show the lamps during the kantai competiton... But nope, it doesn’t work in this case and just seems a bit “what the...?”

And I would say that’s pretty much it for the review... I wasn’t really expecting anything after the pictures I saw and the various spoilers I read, and I am still disappointed... I really believe they should have made a whole season to cover Kumiko’s second year. It would have been way better, and they wouldn’t have overlooked a lot of important scenes.

I know Kumiko’s third year is gonna be covered in one movie as well... At least, that’s what they were talking about. I kind of hope they are gonna do a season instead. I don’t know what to expect from it, but I am kinda sad I ended up disliking a movie in one of my favorite franchise (if not my favorite). So I do hope third year movie, whenever it’s out, is going to make me dream the way Hibike always did.

#Hibike Chikai No final #Personal opinion #Hibike! Euphonium #kumiko oumae #reina kousaka

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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1052

surveys by lets-make-surveys

1 - Who was the last person to knock on your door? Were they there to see you? Nina usually knocks briefly in the evening to let me know it’s time for dinner. Other than my ex in the past, I don’t let anyone stay in my room for long. Knocking and peeking into my room is enough.

2 - Have you left the house yet today? If not, do you have plans to leave the house later on? No, as it’s only 10 in the morning and I don’t really have a reason to be out somewhere this early. I might go out to buy presents for more relatives, but that’s only if I feel productive enough today. We’ll see.

3 - What’s your favourite brand of chocolate? What type of chocolate bar from that brand is your favourite? The older I get the more I feel like gagging from the idea of chocolate bars lol; they’re all just so sweet. These days my top three would be Hershey’s cookies and cream bar, Whittaker’s chocolate peanut butter bar, and Twix bars. I also love Reese’s, but they aren’t bars.

4 - Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Yes, I’ve done this before and I’ve recounted the stories on here multiple times. As for the second question, yeah I technically do? I’ve only met my workmates online so far, so I’m constantly looking forward to the opportunity to finally meet them all in real life.

5 - What was the last thing you used a blender for? I’ve never used a blender. We don’t even own a blender.

6 - Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about? Yeah, but I don’t even remember what it was about anymore...I do know it was this year, and the person deleted the comment that I replied to not long after.

7 - When was the last time you cracked your joints? Is that something you do often? Now that you reminded me, I just did. I do it at least once a day, whenever my fingers start to feel tight and tense.

8 - What time is it right now? If you weren’t doing a survey, what else would you be doing right now? It is 1:52 PM. I’d be heading to the mall to buy more presents, but I don’t feel like getting out of bed yet. I’d also do embroidery, but my online orders are taking a while to arrive :( My online shopping app says I'll be getting them by Jan 3rd, but the shipping tracker says it’s already being shipped from China to here so I’m looking forward to receiving it this week. I hope that’s the case; otherwise it’ll miss the point of being my hobby this Christmas break.

9 - If you had ten minutes to run around an empty supermarket and fill your trolley for free, what’s the first aisle you’d go for? The fancy meat/fish section. Then I’d go to the condiments/spice section, then frozen food, then chips.

10 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you visit the most and why? YouTube, because I find videos a soothing distraction; Twitter to keep me updated on local and international news; Reddit for quirky posts; and Wikipedia so I can continue learning trivia I’ll never have to use but want to gain anyway.

11 - Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal? My dad is home for Christmas this year, which is one silver lining from Covid. But my relatives living abroad who usually fly back to the Philippines for the holidays obviously won’t be able to this year, so we’re not gonna have a packed family reunion like we normally do. Everything else is the same, but I think the biggest thing about this whole thing is that I can barely feel Christmas coming this year. I think it’s going to feel like such a plain Friday this week; and that makes me a little sad.

12 - What’s your favourite flavour of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake? My favorite flavor is chocolate, but my favorite kind of cake (which I enjoy a lot more than general chocolate cake) is cheesecake. I cannot make either, nor can I bake at all.

13 - Do you prefer sweet or sour candy? Sweet. I hate any sour foods with a passion lol especially sour candy; it is my absolute least favorite taste. I don’t find anything enjoyable or fulfilling about it.

14 - What colour is your favourite fruit? Is this a fruit you eat often? Already made my feelings for fruit clear on this blog, haha.

15 - Is your favourite restaurant an independent place or a chain? What is it that you love about it so much? It’s a chain, like most popular restaurants here. Independent places are a little hard to come by, to be honest. They make the best katsu I’ve ever had; and I also like that despite being a chain restaurant, the ambience is still quite sophisticated and date-friendly so I always feel like I’m treating myself whenever I eat there.

16 - Are you genuinely a fan of Starbucks or do you think it’s all hype? I personally enjoy everything about Starbucks. I like their coffees, their Frappes, the ambience in their coffee shops, their playlists, and their line-up of mugs and tumblers. I’ve always felt right at home in their shops and out of all the cafés I’ve been to, it’s always their baristas that have been the nicest.

17 - Do you own a Christmas jumper? What design/pattern does it have on it? No, I don’t.

18 - What’s your favourite fit/style of jeans? I was obsessed with mom jeans throughout 2020.

19 - What was the last non-essential item you spent money on? Overpriced coffee and a sandwich.

20 - Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules? Public places are super strict with requiring everyone to wear a face shield and face mask; before entering any establishment, people’s temperatures are taken and everyone’s also required to take a contact tracing form. Anyone under the age of 21 still isn’t allowed to go out for the most part, though I think there are some exceptions now because I see kids younger than me already going on out-of-town trips again. Some places that are big on tourism like Sagada, Batanes, and Baguio are still closed off from the public; those that have since reopened, like Boracay, follow strict protocol and everyone going there is required to undergo a swab test. Everyday Filipinos follow the rules; it’s the politicians and police force who don’t, which feels disgusting to say.

21 - What did you last leave the room you’re in to do? A package arrived for me so I had to pay for it. It was the phone case I ordered for my cousin.

22 - Have you ever read any self-help books? Did you find them useful? No. I don’t really believe in that genre, so I never felt pulled to buy a book.

23 - What’s your favourite programme on the Food Network (if you watch it)? If you don’t get that channel, what’s your favourite food/cookery show in general? All things Gordon Ramsay, man. MasterChef, Hell’s Kitchen, and Kitchen Nightmares are all *chef’s kiss* The Great British Bake Off is also great and something I like watching when I want to wind down :)

24 - Do you still watch cartoons? From time to time.

25 - Who do you know with the most number of siblings? Would you ever want to live in a huge family? My grandpa was one of nine siblings, if I’m not mistaken. I’m not sure if I know a bigger set than that. Unless my family was filthy rich, I would not want to have such a big immediate family.

26 - Are you a fan of garlic bread? Sure. I tend to ask for others’ too, heh.

27 - Do you own any personalised clothing? What’s the reason for getting it? No, not a fan. Two years ago we had a huge family reunion on my dad’s side and we had to wear these cheesy shirts that said “[Last Name] Reunion” with some cheesy motto at the bottom. My parents hated it, which made me feel better about my own feelings about the shirt lol.

28 - Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to? No, it’s just me here.

29 - What colours are you wearing right now? Does your wardrobe contain a lot of those colours? White, maroon, and scarlet. I have a lot of white and maroon; not so much of scarlet as I find the color too bold.

30 - Do you like adding condiments to your food? If so, what are some of your favourites? Yes. My food always needs to have soup, condiments, or sauces; otherwise I tend to feel the dish is too dry. I like mayonnaise, banana ketchup, hot sauce, and lechon sauce.

1 - What have you been up to so far today? Is that a typical thing for you to do on this particular day of the week? I’ve taken a couple of surveys and started binge-watching segments of my newest Korean reality show discovery, 2 Days 1 Night. The breakout actor from Start-Up and the newest love of my life HAHAHA is a cast member on the current season of 2D1N so I’ve been all over the show today. It’s hilarious; I can hardly believe I’m only discovering the show this late.

2 - Did you get a decent night’s sleep last night? How many hour’s sleep do you consider a decent amount? It was around five hours, which isn’t a lot to me. I usually sleep 7-9 hours these days, but I might wreck my body clock during the holiday break because I want to keep being awake and do the things I haven’t been able to do because of work.

3 - What is one silly thing that really gets on your nerves? Seeing pickles in a burger.

4 - Who was the last person you saw who wasn’t family? What did you guys end up doing together? The friendly Starbucks barista from yesterday; her name was Princess. We didn’t do anything lol, she just took my order and was super friendly about it, and she also gave me the Starbucks planner that I chose to redeem.

5 - Do you prefer hot or cold drinks overall? Cold. I avoid hot drinks now haha. Ever since I had that incident with the takoyaki, I’ve been too scared to let any hot food or drink touch my mouth.

6 - Do you own a decent set of waterproofs? If so, what do you use them for the most? If not, do you think that would be something you’d find useful? I don’t know what this is referring to, and I’m too lazy to Google right now. I’ve only ever known this word as an adjective, whoops.

7 - Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? Take more surveys, and maybe have another cup of coffee. I’ll also have to get started on a daily report I submit for work every weekday morning so that my load will be lighter tomorrow. Our office is technically on shutdown until January 4th, but some clients require a daily report every day and I’ll have to shoulder that with another co-associate. It sucks, but at least it’s the only thing I’ll have to do for the next two weeks.

8 - How often do you get your hair cut? When hairdressers were closed due to COVID, did you try cutting it yourself at home? I only go to the salon once a year, and I already did it this 2020 when I chopped off my hair and got bangs. Yeah, whenever my bangs start to get too long I either ask my mom to trim them or I do so myself.

9 - What did you wear the last time you left the house? Is that different to what you’re wearing at the moment? I walked Cooper half an hour ago and I just stayed in the same clothes I’ve been in all day, which was a tank top underneath an oversized hoodie and a pair of shorts.

10 - Would you rather have a relaxing beach holiday or a more active holiday in the mountains? The beach would be perfect right now, but I think my answer changes every time this is asked and I’m pretty sure I picked mountains the last time HAHAHA. I just realized being in the mountains would give me the same cooped-up feeling I’ve been having from staying at home for such a long time, and it might not be the best and healthiest trip for me...the beach definitely sounds more freeing and therapeutic.

11 - Do you know how to tie a tie? Nah, never learned. I’ve never been good at tying anything up, period.

12 - How old were you when you first had a sleepover at someone’s house? Did you miss home? I was 15 or 16; I’m not entirely sure anymore. Not at all, I was so excited to have been allowed to go to my first sleepover.

13 - How often do you spend time with your extended family? Under normal circumstances, we’d visit my grandma and cousins on my mom’s side once every few months or so. It was pretty regular since they’re just a stone’s throw away. But obviously we’ve since had to drastically cut our get-togethers back, and I’ve only seen them around three times since the beginning of the year. My dad’s family lives pretty far south, so I only get to see them once or twice a year even in pre-Covid days; not much of a difference there.

14 - When you get up in the morning, do you have a set routine? No. I just wake up feeling dread and have no choice but to wait for the weight in my chest to subside.

15 - Do you remember the last time you cried? Were they sad or happy tears? Yesterday in my car, in the mall parking lot. Sad tears.

16 - What do you have planned once you finish this survey? Look for another one. I misseddddd taking surveys and I plan on taking a crap ton of them this Christmas break. I may also be called for dinner, so there’s that.

17 - What was the last thing you cooked? Did you cook from scratch or just heat something up? I dunno if it counts as cooking, but I just made the DIY ramen kit that I received as a Christmas gift from the branch I was originally an intern at. Everything was already prepared in the kit and all I needed to do was boil water for the noodles and prepare the broth. Turned out surprisingly good.

18 - Are you a fan of hot chocolate? Do you like it plain or do you prefer to add things like whipped cream or marshmallows? I love hot chocolate and will order it sometimes, but given my aforementioned fear of hot beverages I always wait for it to considerably cool down hahaha. I like my hot chocolate plain.

19 - What caused your last injury? Cooper’s nails.

20 - How many tattoos and piercings do you have? Do any of them have an interesting story behind them? Just a piercing on each of my earlobes. No interesting stories...yet.

21 - What kind of flowers do you like the best? When was the last time someone bought those for you? I like peonies, though I’m not sure if my ex ever gave me a bouquet that included those.

22 - What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over? I’ve only been with one person and I dated her twice, but I was never the one who ended the relationship either time so can’t really answer this.

23 - Would you rather order a starter (appetiser) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses? Three-course meal, pls. I’ve only experienced it once, when my parents treated me to dinner during my cruise gift for my 18th birthday; it was great and every dish was made amazingly well.

24 - How do you get most of your news, if you pay attention to it at all? I catch the evening news every weeknight because we keep the telvision turned on during dinner. I also get to read articles on social media.

25 - Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet? None that I know of, thankfully. It’s always been someone that a relative knows, but so far none of us have gotten it.

26 - Are you a vegetarian? If so, what persuaded you to stop eating meat? If not, is it something you’d ever consider? No. I have been considering it for years, but I truthfully don’t know if I could give up meat.

27 - Do you prefer rice or pasta? Rice.

28 - Is anything you’re wearing a gift? Who bought it for you? No.

29 - What’s the dominant colour in the room you’re in at the moment? I guess white, since my walls are white and that’s the first thing you see when entering my room.

30 - Did you do laundry yet today? If not, do you need to do any before you go to bed? Not my chore to do, but it was already done a few days ago.

#survey #surveys #multiple surveysss

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ick25 · 4 years

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How Steven Universe broke my heart.

So Steven Universe has finally come to an end and people are so happy and crying because of how the show had such a beautiful ending that dealt with real life issues and personal matters that we all relate to at some point in our lives... But I am not one of those people.

I have nothing against teaching children life lessons on how to deal with trauma and anxiety, but what made me interested in the show in the first place was the fantastical elements, the action mixed with comedy, and heartwarming scenes from time to time. From the very beginning, I was never a fan of Steven’s interactions with the people of Beach City who don’t even seem to care about what the gems actually are or why they should be more careful around him. They just feel like characters in a Slice of Life show since they barely make any contribution to the real plot of Steven Universe. It’s like the entire show is split into two different genres, the town’s people only exist for comedic purposes and whenever Steven needs to learn something that the Crystal Gems can’t teach him because of their lack of communication with each other. I know the gems were not fans of making friends with humans, but they’ve had like 1000 years to understand how human society works! Have they been living under a rock all this time?!

Anyway, the show has been infuriating to me many times, but deep down I was hoping that all those questions I had were gonna be answered in a very clever and exciting way in future seasons... That never happened.

Every time the show woke my curiosity, it disappointing me hard, and now that it’s over I have come to realized that maybe the story that attracted me in the first place didn’t matter at all. This was my emotional struggle throughout the show.

Season 1.

Up: The show started out like a funny cartoon with great promise, likable characters, and an interesting background. My first impression was that the Crystal gems were like part of a secret magical society that travels to other worlds to keep peace in the universe.

Down: It is revealed that they are actually aliens and that the other worlds where actually places on Earth where the monsters they fight are corrupted gems. This let me down because, being such a nerd, I couldn’t stop thinking about the odds of another planet having the same minerals with the same exact names and characteristics given to them by humans on Earth.

Too much of a coincidence.

Up: I decided to accept the alien thing and keep watching because I thought it was really cute that both Lapis and Pearl wanted to return to their Homeworld which awoke my interest again.

Season 2.

Up more: Peridot’s secret mission, Malachite coming back again and the introduction of Yellow Diamond got me excited.

A little Down: The slow pacing when we were supposed to be worried about the Cluster.

Season 3.

Down: Finding out that the forced fusion experiments where not relevant anymore because I wanted that to be explored more.

Up: The revelation that Rose Quartz shattered Pink Diamond. I liked this because I thought that Steven was going to learn about the hard decisions his mother had to make in order to keep Earth safe. Oh how naive was I.

Season 4.

A little boring until Blue Diamond appears who I cant help but like.

When I saw her crying for Pink I thought, Ok, she is not what I was expecting but she might become an ally later on. (Turns out she’s my favorite character now)

Up: Pink Diamond’s human zoo intrigued me.

Down a little: Yellow Diamond appears to cheer up Blue and it is obvious that both are gonna become good later on.

Up: Aquamarine and Topaz appear to kidnap humans for the zoo, The town’s people are finally important to the plot.

Season 5, when I started to lose hope.

Up: The mystery that came out from the trial episode to the Off colors being introduced.

Down: Lars basically turns into lion and becomes a shortcut for Steven to go between worlds easily.

Down again: Lars and the off colors suddenly become a parody of Captain Harlock ruining my illusion of having Steven and the Crystal gems traveling to Homeworld to save them.

Slightly Up: Steven gets visions of Pink Diamonds past and how it seemed that it was Pearl who shattered her.

Super Down!: Rose was Pink Diamond and faked her own shattering for no good reason! Everything we were told throughout the show was a lie!

Up: Great battle against Yellow and Blue Diamond, and White Diamond is finally mentioned, and I was like “good, she must be the ultimate evil and maybe we’ll learn more about corruption.”

Crash and burn: White Diamond is forgiven and instantly becomes good.

But a glimmer of hope appears when the movie is announced.

Movie.

Slowly up: New cool villain appears, will we learn more about Pink Diamond’s past?

Down again: Spinel goes to live with the Diamonds which sounds like a terrible idea at first.

Steven Universe Future.

Steven is having trouble with his new power, will we finally address how Pink Diamond was really like?

Down forever: Who cares about Pink Diamond or the origin of the Diamonds, what matters is that Steven is a teenager that finally acknowledges that his life has been terrible and that his family has to comfort him because he is going through puberty and already has a midlife crisis at age 16.

In conclusion, Steven Universe’s main focus ended up being about talking things out in a peaceful matter and that family is the most important thing... But that doesn’t work if you already established that said family consists of aliens who don’t know anything about communication and or have been destroying life forms in the Universe for thousands of years! The message does not fit with what already has been established in the show to the point that it’s unrealistic. It’s nice and all that they’re teaching kids that violence doesn’t solve anything and that talking things out is better, but the truth is, that is not always the case in real life. Even if they are family, some people are not willing to change and won’t listen to reasons. You can’t force someone to “Change their mind” , because you think they are in the wrong, and even if they are, you can’t expect them to accept that what they’ve been doing all their lives is suddenly wrong. The Diamonds had to change for themselves not because Steven tells them to. SU Future showed that they eventually changed for the best and even discovered new powers but it was already too late for me to accept that.

This show really wanted me to believe that the gems were the only advance alien race in the entire universe, nobody fought against them? What was the point of making the Cluster which was referred to as Geo Weapon? Doesn’t Homeworld have any enemies? Apparently not, and all that matters in the end is to make amends with your love ones, avoid toxic relationships, and only talk things out when a family member is threatening to kill you and destroy everything you love. ¬ ¬

#steven universe #steven universe future #my thoughts #cartoon review

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project-stormblessed · 4 years

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1-50

Alrighty!

1. What color are your socks?

All of my socks are either completely black or black and gray. Lol.

2. Have you ever lied about your age? Why?

Only once when I was like, 12 or 13 making a second Youtube account lol.

3. What is something you regret in the past month?

Becoming distant and isolating myself from most of my friends. Quarantine has not been good for my mental health tbh.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Honestly? Not sure. Part of me doesn’t, and part of me does. Can’t really get either part to agree one way or the other.

5. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper? Definitely well over a decade ago. Honestly can’t remember.

6. How old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? Who taught you?

I was 11 or 12, and it was my older brother Jack who taught me. He also taught me how to drive lol.

7. Do you get along with your parents? Why or why not?

We get along well enough. Now that they’re retired the house is a much calmer environment.

8. What’s your favorite season?

Spring. I love seeing everything in bloom—the colors are very pleasing to me. I love seeing lots of green, and lots of lush plantlife.

9. Do you currently like someone?

Hmm, not entirely sure about that one. I guess I don’t really have any strong feelings for anyone in particular. Maybe. 👀👀

10. Have you ever used an Ouija board?

Nope, and I don’t plan on it.

11. What’s the last song you sang?

It was a song for choir this past semester, though I don’t remember the title that well or the composer.

12. What’s your favorite scent?

Never really had a favorite scent, honestly. My sense of smell has been pretty dull/weak for as long as I can remember and I’ve never really given much thought to any favorite scent.

13. What’s your favorite urban legend?

The Roswell UFO incident of 1947. It sparked my interest in aliens and UFOs at a very young age, and is probably responsible for a good deal of my love for sci-fi.

14. What’s a bad habit that you have?

Poor self control when it comes to time management. I tend to let myself get absorbed in things.

15. What’s a strange habit that you have?

Hmm. Totally blanked and could only come up with “making noises and pretending to be a mech of some sort when moving around my house”. That’s all I got.

16. What’s the first instrument you learned to play?

Piano. I started learning at 8 years old.

17. How would you describe your ‘type’?

Y’know funny enough I’ve never really thought I had a type. However reaching my mid-twenties has made me realize that my ‘type’ is kind, compassionate, goofy, and nerdy/geeky.

18. Would you rather stay in or go out?

Depends on the company, I guess. Though, usually I prefer to stay in anyway.

19. What was the last thing you said to your mom?

“I’m taking Dax out.” When I went for a walk with my dog lol.

20. Do you want to get married someday?

Definitely didn’t used to. I’m at the point where I’d be down if my partner wanted to, though I’m not sure I’d wanna spend a shitload of money on a wedding. Guess it depends on financial status at the time and the preferences of my partner.

21. Have you ever snuck out?

Nah, though I never needed to. My parents typically let me leave house whenever I wanted to as long as I told them who I’m with and when-ish I’m going to be home.

22. Can you sing well?

I can match pitch pretty well, but I can’t produce pitch un-aided. Usually. So kinda. I’m ok at best, all things considered.

23. What’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?

I went off on some of my friends over something kinda silly because my mental state as of late hasn’t been all that great.

24. When was the last time you went sledding?

Uhhh, definitely more than ten years ago.

25. Have you ever liked/do you like someone you know you can never be with?

You kidding me? That’s like, all of my crushes ever. Maybe that’s an exaggeration but honestly it’s certainly FELT that way each time.

26. Do people often mispronounce your name?

No, though I have known a few people throughout my life that said “Bin” rather than “Ben”. I eventually realised it was an accent thing and stopped giving a shit very early.

27. Would you like to live in another country?

Yes, actually. For no small number of reasons. I’ve always wanted to live in Italy ever since I visited when I was 15.

28. Do you like to watch ghost hunting shows?

I definitely used to. I don’t really watch tv much in general anymore, though.

29. Who was the last person you said “I love you” too?

My mom.

30. What’s something you’d like to be better at?

Social interaction. Speaking in general. I’m MUCH more articulate in writing/typing than I am speaking.

31. Have you ever stayed up with someone who was sad?

Yes, and I’m always willing to do so.

32. What was the last thing you cooked?

I helped my good friend prepare some bomb ass ramen a few months back. I guess that counts.

33. Do you think you’d make a good parent?

I’d like to think so, yeah. I would make sure my children know I’m always there for them and will support the hell out of them.

34. Do you have trouble sleeping at night?

I don’t, but my dipshit body does.

35. Where is your best friend right now?

All of them are either playing video games or asleep.

36. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Factoring in every aspect of the morning ritual, about 40 minutes. That’s if I’m going somewhere like work or school. If I’m staying home then there’s no getting ready for anything but sitting on my ass lol.

37. How late do you usually stay up at night?

Depends on the time of year/what I’m doing the next day. Right now during quarantine I average anywhere between 2am and 6am. I’m trying to fix that currently.

38. When was the last time you cried and why?

The last time I truly cried was sometime in 2015. I was listening to Breaking Benjamin’s latest album and feeling exceedingly lonely/depressed. It wasn’t a great day.

39. Have you ever won a contest?

None that I can remember, honestly.

40. Can you draw well?

Lol. No. I have very little visual artistic talent or skill.

41. Would you ever date someone you met on tumblr/the internet?

Definitely, though obviously I wouldn’t just jump right in. I’m down for long distance relationships, too. But obviously mutual trust and emotional connection would have to be established first.

42. What was the last thing you ate?

Some brownie fudge M&Ms lol.

43. Do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend?

I don’t really know. Never been in a relationship so I don’t have anything go off of. On the one hand I’m super understanding, laid back, and accepting of boundaries. I just want to make sure people feel comfortable and safe around me. On the other hand I’m also forgetful and very selfish when it comes to my time. I also obviously have plenty of emotional trauma/baggage (who doesn’t?) that tends to impede how I interact with people, so. 🤷🏼‍♂️

44. Have you ever had a near death experience?

Not that I can remember, and I hope I never do. The closest I think I ever came was when I fell off a ropeless bridge into a dry riverbed at 4 years old. Got a concussion from that.

45. What do you think people think of you?

Well, my anxiety tells me I’m annoying and boring. The logical side of me tells me most people in my life enjoy my company, so I guess there’s that.

46. What is your middle name and do you like it?

Don’t feel like sharing my middle name here, but I will say I don’t dislike it. Kinda neutral.

47. Are you close with either of your parents?

Kinda. My parents were often emotionally distant/abusive to my brothers and me growing up, and it’s left me rather stunted emotionally, and generally unwilling to establish a deeper relationship with them. We’re a bit closer than we were when I was a teenager, but honestly not much.

48. Do you like yourself?

Generally speaking? No. There are parts of me I’m proud of, but honestly I often find myself wishing I was someone else. I’m far from the self-loathing I experienced when I was younger, though.

49. State five facts about your appearance—

1. I’m 6’1”-ish.

2. Definitely just a bit chubby.

3. Blue eyes.

4. Currently sporting longer hair because I haven’t had a haircut since about September.

5. I have a number of faded scars on my arms from various self inflicted/work related injuries. All of them were caused by extreme clumsiness/poor spacial awareness.

50. State five facts about your personality—

1. I’m super goofy—I make lots of weird noises and motions.

2. I tend to ramble about things I’m interested in, particularly hyper fixations.

3. I like to think I’m a pretty compassionate human being.

4. Extremely awkward, but strangely that doesn’t show because I’m apparently a social chameleon.

5. I’m an observer, but also an overthinker.

Whew, that was a lot! Thank you, friend!

#asks #answered asks

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reallysaltyobject · 5 years

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Timeless children thoughts

Ok, so I’ve spent about all day trying to form my thoughts on the changes that last nights episode had and now i’m going to try and write them down just to process and, like, see other people’s thoughts (???)

First of all, I love Doctor who. I hate feeling like this. This conflicted feeling. I love Jodie as the Doctor, she is probably my 2nd all time favourite Doctor (David T, Jodie, Tom, in case you were wondering). This season has had some, in my opinion, great episodes. I loved Fugitive of the Judoon, the Tesla episode (featuring my SJA fave Rani), the Mary Shelly episode. Guess what? i EVEN LIKED SOME OF ORPHAN 55 (it fell apart in the end, but Ed Hime can write some great lines (that spam line and the sequence with Ryan getting rid of the virus are personal faves), also that episode was co-written by Chibnall, and the episode seemed to be going in one direction but it felt like there was changes from a certain show runner). Anyway, I have been watching Doctor who since I was 4, I’ve been watching consistently since Ecclestone, through the good and the bad, never missing an episode. And until the finale of season 12, I have never felt so... sad. Not even angry, just sad and let down. I hate this sensation. I need to vent

So, now that the disclaimer is out that I do like Doctor who, even up till now, let’s get into my current trauma

WARNING THIS IS NOT A SHINING REVIEW OF THE LATEST EPISODE. IT IS JUST MY PROCESSING OF WHAT HAPPENED AND HOW UNSURE I FEEL ABOUT ITS CONSEQUENCES FOR THE SHOW

OK, the Doctor is not a TIME LORD. what? ...What?!...WOT!!? Time Lords and Gallifreyans are mutated from her DNA!?

Right let’s back up a but and start from the beginning of my puzzled thoughts. Why did we need last weeks episode? I mean seriously, It was about an hour of going ‘you’re going to learn something, we known something you don’t’ and then it leads to that. I’m just very confused. Also more side characters which I do not remember the names of by the end of the episode, and thus them dying does not affect me in any way. Was it ever explained why the head Cyber man was ‘torturing’ the other Cybermen? I honestly cannot think of why that was there (maybe to make them 100% robotic with no organic material cause of the particle (WHICH I WILL GET TO!) but idk not very clear).

Also the whole Irish flashback thing? I get that was supposed to be a filter but going back and watching the episode when we saw it in episode 9 the doctor was ALSO SEEING IT?! There was no mention of it at all during the episode but she mentions it in the episode ten. What?! (Let’s not mention the odd editing choice at the end of nine where the Master’s entrance is funny and wild and then it’s like dramatic, threatening music? WTF. I’m guessing some lines of dialogue were cut but still it would have been better to end on his first entrance)

Chibnall’s first new and interesting villain is just gone. A Cyberman that still has its human emotion, erhm, would that not make a compelling villain that we could see at least another story out of? No? we just going to shrink this guy in the space of ten minutes? Cool. Cool, cool, cool

Also the death particle? WTF. That was 110% convenient plot device which I can forgive (a little lazy but so not worth getting worked up over), but it somehow went from being able to wipe out organic life from the ‘entire universe’ to just ‘a planet’. What. I’m serious what was the process here? Was it like not done cooking? 10 more minutes left in the Cyberman before it was done? I mean, it can’t be because it shrunk, cause, well, it’s A PARTICLE. It’s can’t get any smaller than that. Oh, are we just going with that? Lazy. Never-mind, much more to cover.

So this was Chib’s let’s make Morbius canon time? You know the thing that was created cause they didn’t know how long the show would last, and was pretty much swept under the rug cause it was a weird idea? Right, ok , sure.

I mean I was actually interested in the Doctor having a cycle of regenerations that she didn’t know about. A cycle. Not seemingly endless lives. Cause that would keep with the canon established, you known, with the whole 11th Doctor getting gifted an entire new cycle which we are two bodies into already on the whole Tenzelore death bed thing. It would explain Ruth!Doctor (not her TARDIS being a police box but I’m sure give any Doctor who fan 20 minutes and a box of crayons and they could come up for a better explanation than what was shown last night).

But let’s get into the worst effect of last night’s show. There are no more stakes. The Doctor can regenerate whenever, not matter how many times, and there are no consequences. Sure, you want the show to live on but as an excellent TV show put it recently: it is death that makes life worth living (seriously go watch The Good Place)

The canon of the show is that Time Lords get the regeneration from looking into the time vortex, hence River getting these powers (being conceived on the TARDIS). Normal Gallifreyans do not have this, they have to earn it through the Academy. This episode said it was genetics (SEE midichlorians and star wars). W H A T.

ALSO DOES THIS MEAN THE DOCTOR AND RIVER SONG ARE LIKE RELATED. i mean if regeneration has come from the Doctor and she can regenerate, is it incest?

The Master did not make any sense in this episode - and for a character who is meant to be psychotic it must be pretty bad for him to seem off. So, the Master is mad cause he is made partly from the Doctor? I mean i know that you don’t go to the Master for coherent plans but still, I don’t really get it. He also spent the entire episode being exposition and that was just, a waste. That is one of my biggest gripes about that era. You hire these great actors and you don’t give them anything to work with. I mean you can see them shine when you do but, you don’t. why?

Also why is the Master acting like he has no compassion? Gomez!master literally betrayed herself after spending like an entire serious feeling guilt with the 12th Doctor. So, how can he say he has no compassion? I mean, if you weren’t a lazy writer, you could write some material about how they feel abandoned by the Doctor when he left her to die on the Cybership and went mad by the time they made it to Gallifrey. Or even that idea they were in an alternative universe and so this Master had not had the development that the Capaldi era worked on, which would explain why there was another Doctor (Ruth) (I know that gets a bit muddled up with Jack being in episode 5 but you could probably think of something, i’m still reeling from the finale to form a plan right now). No, we’re just not doing that.

This endless lives also cheapens the Doctor’s sacrifice before. I mean a lot Matt Smith’s time as the Doctor was spent with this. River giving up her remaining regenerations because of his unwillingness to leave his friends. The Doctor spending all of his last regeneration watching over this town in season 7. Was this just nothing? Is the Doctor just going to sacrifice themselves for everything now?

Also, the idea that the doctor is the Other is so much better! That would be cool, it would give her a past that she does not know of (check one), but it wouldn’t have the potential of ruining the stakes and mystery of the doctor (check two), AND it would make the doctor something above what TL are, make her demi-god, which could make the Master made, in a more logical way, (check three).

right to finish this, I have to say i’m worried. The moves that are being made feel like they are cancelling moves. Like we’re going on another long hiatus. That there is going to be a reboot. It also is giving the BBC potential to make spinoffs of the previous Doctors to likes of Netflix and Amazon, which scares me for the safety of the show. With the ratings going down, and a majority of the fanbase being against the developments in the lore, the sustainability of the show is looking risky. This is an option that i do not want to happen. Unfortunately I think the only option would be to replace Chibs. He is writing the show in a way that is continuing from when he grew up (hence the Morbius thing, and the Master acting in this way) and not from how the show has PROGRESSED since then.

I’m still going to watch the show but I fear that more and more will turn it off. The whole point that they pushed in this era of the show was that new people can watch it, there is no need to have all this previous knowledge yet the only times there has been interesting episodes has been to call backs (Jack, Cybermen, Daleks). This change to something so instrumental to the plot is driving old fans away and confusing the new ones. What you need is someone who is above the show-runners keeping the canon and coherency of the lore, as it know most show-runners change the premise when they start (see Gallifrey gone, alive, gone again)

leave the canon. Look forwards. This Doctor is about being hopeful, they should be looking forward.

I want this show to be good. I want this show to live forever, because it can. Because it should.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor

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dailyhobi · 5 years

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The interview is from a book called Interviews with K-POP Stars by Park Hee A [x,x,x,x,x]

disclaimer!! this thread is meant to summarize what hoseok said in the interview and keep everything close to the original context, however it may still contain some of op’s personal interpretation of his words, so just keep that in mind :D

1. as a kid, hoseok didn't like sports, but instead fell in love with the warm-up exercise routine (which was like a light dance to him). he joined school talent shows because his schoolmates and teachers recommended him.

2. hoseok realized how much he loved dancing; his dad was against it but his mom got him into an academy. they struggled financially so his dance teacher, the leader of Neuron, let hoseok join their dance team bc he was so good, and he wouldn't have to pay for lessons anymore.

3. hoseok learned a lot of technique from the dancer AKIN and took dance lessons from him in gwangju. he also loved boogaloo (a sub-genre in popping) so much that he practiced like there was no tomorrow (and won competitions) and this was where he mostly got his style from.

4. hoseok thought street dance would help him as an idol, but was surprised to learn that there were many constraints in their choreography and made it so hard to show his dance skills. over time, he learned how to show more since BTS had been covering different dance styles.

5. street dance involves individual freestyle, but their choreography was set in frames and angles, so experiences in these two help shape the style hoseok has today.

6. bts's music videos used to focus on synchronized dance, but ever since I NEED U, they started focusing on acting. they studied acting, expressing themselves as characters, performing their roles in the story.

7. blood sweat & tears is hoseok's favorite title track choreography. he struggled with expressing his emotions, and perhaps it's the struggle that makes him feel prouder about finally being able to perform the dance.

8. the mic drop choreography is the opposite of blood sweat & tears; hoseok knew mic drop was his song and ambitiously prepared for the freestyle part with old school hip hop.

9. it was a completely new experience for 3J trying to incorporate traditional dance (fan dance, drum dance, mask dance) into their 2018 mma performance. they wanted to take things further from the oriental features in IDOL by putting a traditional concept on stage.

10. since bts was attending lots of award shows in late 2018, hoseok was afraid that they'd become complacent about attending and performing there. but he thinks if artists want the audience to have fun watching them perform, the artist should actually have fun themselves. 11. hoseok said bts wanted to make it enjoyable for the audience, even if it was more exhausting on their end. bts honestly do enjoy award show performances, and they remind themselves they receive awards from fans there so the ceremonies are meaningful to them. 12. hoseok tells us that comeback stages are for tv, demonstrating the performance as is, whereas awards ceremony and concert stages involve audience interaction. 13. at award shows, bts can't be too liberal with audience interaction because there might be fans of other artists and people who don't know them, so they usually try to stick to a script. 14. bts tries to prioritize fan interaction at concerts since the audience is mostly comprised of their fans. eye contact is a must.

15. even when bts agree on going freestyle and try to look carefree on stage, things are still strictly planned out (communication with audience is more important than performing however they want).

16. hoseok describes that he is a human being with flaws, and there are things he can’t change, but he does tries to aim for perfection.

17. to hoseok, every moment of their performance and the process behind, pouring their blood and sweat and resolving issues, made who he is today, and every moment is equally as meaningful to him.

18. hoseok's mixtape allowed him to show who he is, what he stands for, and how he wanted people to view him. by establishing his identity with this, he'd be able to relax about showing his different sides, and maybe let himself go a little next time.

19. the difference between him and namjoon/yoongi is that hoseok knew music through dance, whereas they knew music just through music. they influenced hoseok a lot, and the team gave him the opportunity to widen his spectrum on music.

20. as the choreography team leader, hoseok was really inspired by the other members' effort in dancing, even if they weren't dancers to begin with.

21. it’s important for the team to practice and move in the same mindset and work together on every move of the dance, but now that they understand each other so well, they know exactly what they need. bts always remind themselves that they perform because they love it.

22. hoseok believes the core of bts’s performances isn’t synchronized dances or powerful acrobatics, but the unique energy that comes from their heart.

23. because of long concert set lists, bts tries to conserve their strength instead of using it all up at once. saving energy isn’t slacking. they choose to focus their energy differently on what they consider important (or what requires more hype/energy).

24. hoseok tries to serve as the balancing role in group dances. though he is able to encompass different dance styles, and even if at times he wishes to be more visible, he gives up what he can to the other members, for the sake of the performance.

25. hoseok believes he has moved a step forward by integrating his experiences from past performances; they have widened his spectrum.

26. he combines improvisation with planned parts for performances like mic drop, depending on how his body goes, how the music flows, and how they vibe together.

27. boy meets evil is a painful song about a boy meeting the devil and struggling with sweet addiction; it gave him a chance to ask himself what it takes to express himself well with this challenging piece, full of acrobatics and difficult moves. (he said he really met the devil)

28. for trivia: just dance, hoseok's goal was to just enjoy it. he wanted to show how he fell in love with dance, how much he loves it and how it feels, and also showing how it fits within the narrative of his life.

29. dancing as bts j-hope is different from dancing as jung hoseok; j-hope has to consider the dance, expressions, gestures, coordinating with members and audience; hoseok’s performance would have to become more professional to be like j-hope, who receives more diverse attention.

30. hoseok has always wanted to showcase his dance like how he did as a kid, so he started doing “hope on the street�� to revisit those feelings and dreams as a kid. he still loves dancing and hopes to carry on as long as he can as a performer.

31. hoseok doesn’t categorize his dance into contemporary or street; boundaries between genres are often blurred and depends on how each person perceives it. to him, it’s just about listening to the music and letting his body move. he dances just because he loves it so much.

32. when everyone in the team is worn out, hoseok gives them energy. he doesn't do it on purpose, but the members have come to embrace him that way naturally, and they have also grown to understand each other and function so well as a team.

33. bts try to express a clear message through their albums. when working on albums, namjoon and yoongi play key roles lead discussions with their insight, stories they wish to tell, and what fans are saying. they get so much energy sharing advice with each other.

34. as bts has been growing in popularity and becoming well-seasoned artists, hobi says they are able to explore more diverse possibilities and share their opinions on new ideas. it's hard to always be in agreement, so they suggest even more and better ideas in their discussions.

35. hoseok says he feels so amazing and energized on stage, but his body aches terribly as he comes off the stage (especially during the US leg of the LY tour). he thinks the gap between how he feels being on and off stage is unfairly large. that’s why he prefers being on stage.

36. even though hoseok has been on stages of drastically different sizes and shapes, they are all fundamentally the same to him. he just feels alive whenever he dances and performs, interact with the crowd, and get cheered on.

37. hoseok likes to dance because it's when he doesn't have to think about anything in the moment. all he wants is for the crowd to know that he truly enjoys it. but since bts’s stages have been growing, the added pressure makes it harder for them to perform just for enjoyment.

38. hoseok says he would like to work on stage production in the future. since he’s been on different kinds of stadiums, he thought about what kind of show he wants to present, based on his observations and experiences, though performing is still his priority.

39. he believes dance has the power to move hearts. even though how much dance means to people vastly differs, dance is effective at moving others because its power comes from “actions” that one can see, and hoseok also started dreaming about dancing as he watched others dance.

40. finally, hoseok thinks his identity is pretty straightforward: he followed that pulling attraction from dance, which led him to bts, and fans have come to appreciate him as part of bts and as a dancer, all of which have accumulated to his identity as jung hoseok and j-hope.

#jhope #hoseok #hobi #bts #wow this man really has all my love and respect this was so lovely to read #it seems like he was more vulnerable than usual with this i rly appreciate that so much🥺

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iamdeltas · 5 years

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1, 9, 29, 4?

1. Top 3 Doctors?Hmm... I think my top 3 Doctors would be 10, 13, and 12. Which, yeah, I know, how basic of me to have 10 as my favorite. But it is what it is. I mean, my second favorite Disney revival movie is Frozen so. I’m basic as hell.9. NOTP?Hmm. I mean, I don’t do shipping in general but I don’t know what ships I’d actively call a NOTP? There are definitely ships I don’t like, but IDK if they’re NOTP level. I guess a NOTP might be Donna x Ten in a romantic way? I really really like them as a platonic relationship. The Doctor x Amy or Rory is right out, obviously. (I mean, I could ignore the fact that they’re canonically his parents-in-law but why would I? It’s hilarious!) In general I don’t really love companion x Doctor romantic relationships? I just feel like the power balance doesn’t work, the Doctor is literally thousands of years old, it’s weird. Though there are fics I’ve read that do have Doctor x companion romantic pairings, so again, no idea if they are quite NOTP level.

29. Thoughts on the current Doctor?Oh gosh. Where do I begin? I adore her so much! In s11, I did still like her, and it was fun reading into the little hints we got past her cheery persona, but I was never certain if I was reading too much into it. And then s12 came along and validated basically everything I read into, and deepened my love for her.

I once saw a description of Trish Walker from Jessica Jones as something along the lines of, a very nice looking house but if you go inside, you’ll see a whole bunch of feral and rabid cats fighting each other. Or maybe I’m misremembering what the description was. But that general vibe is how I’d describe 13 in s11, and then in s12, the cats start tearing down the house and you get to see all the ferality that was locked inside. So that’s been fun to watch.

I think one thing I really like is the fact that she puts up a nice cheerful persona in what seems to be an attempt to live up to the promise they made to themself as 12, to always be kind and try to be nice. It is very much a front and not how she Truly Is, but what I find fascinating is that this isn’t malicious on her behalf. This isn’t a Bitch In Sheep’s Clothing situation, she’s not secretly evil. She’s just secretly more complicated than the image she tried to project of herself to the fam in s11. I get the feeling she wants to be that happy, dorky, gregarious space tour guide that she attempted to be in s11 and nothing more, but she isn’t that. Not that the dorky childishness is completely fake or anything, it’s just not the full story. She wanted to ignore all her unresolved past traumas so that she can pretend she’s just the fam’s friendly neighborhood alien, she doesn’t want to be the angry and traumatized eldritch and ancient being that she actually is. Also, the Doctor is always, at their core, an asshole, but she wanted to try to not be that, for once, and so hid all her asshole-ishness away from the fam, which is a decision that probably screwed the fam over for how to deal with her this season. Because while part of the danger of being the Doctor’s companions is the adventures, part of it is also the mercurial nature of alien taking you on these adventures. The alien is wonderful and kind, but they’re also very fae-like and so are dangerous and, well, a dick. Every companion has had to know how to stand up for themselves whenever the Doctor is being an asshole to them, and they know that’s what they’re getting into when they start travelling with the Doctor. I mean, think about it. 9 was initially quite icy to Rose, 10 was a dick to Martha, 10 also literally burned the Racnoss in front of Donna, 11 ditched Amy for 15 years (on accident, but still) and yelled at her and threatened to take her back home immediately because of a decision she made on her first trip with him that she doesn’t even remember, and 11 was a creep to Clara. But the fam was exposed to what’s basically a fake persona by 13. She hid away all of her jerkishness and tried to go out of her way to be as nice as possible. So when s12 comes around, and 13 is hit with a big Trauma Conga Line, and is not able to hold onto her performative personality, the fam are unexpectedly hit with the spiky asshole-ish sides of her personality and they’re not prepared for dealing with it at all! Which is part of why I kind of forgive them for being more passive than most companions when it comes to dealing with the Doctor being a jerk.

Anyway. Kinda veered off-topic there slightly. But yeah, I love that, even though her performative niceness is, well, performative, and she was sort of trying to trick the fam into thinking she’s nicer and sweeter than she actually is, I really dig that it’s not from a malicious place, it’s just from a very misguided attempt at trying to fulfill the promise she made to herself. It’s not something I’ve seen before in a character, because, like I said, most characters who aren’t actually as nice/sweet as they appear are generally Actually Evil, or Secretly A Bitch. Which isn’t the case with 13 at all. She’s an angry traumatized mess, but she’s not straightforwardly Evil.

Which brings me to my next point, I love how much of an angry traumatized mess she is! And I love how much s12 is showing that side of her! She’s trying her best, but her best involves possibly the worst coping mechanisms I’ve ever seen, she is such a disaster! And this is such a relief to see because I was so worried last season that the writers would cop out because she’s a Girl Doctor so clearly she has to be Emotionally Healthy Now. And I saw so many people surmising similarly, because of that and also because of the fact that 12 had so much Character Development, that she’d be the Doctor Who Is Completely Healed. Which I hated the notion of. I recall seeing a fic that had her be the one to bring her older selves together to force them to talk about their issues, which is absolutely hilarious to think about now, considering literally everything about her this season. (Though tbh, it still wouldn’t be out of character for her to do that, purely because she’s a little... lacking in self-awareness.) I also recall seeing a fic last season having 13 meet Clara and one of the things she mentioned was that as a man it was harder for her to talk about her emotions or whatever but she’s finding it much better to talk about them now, which, a) blegh, gender essentialist, much? and b) *starts laughing outrageously because I’m thinking about how goddamn emotionally constipated she actually is*.

I dig how much fun she has when dealing with a villain that is on her level. One of the fun things about how she takes joy in everything is the fact that this translates to maniacal glee when confronting villains. She has a thrill of the hunt that I don’t think other NuWho Doctors have had, and the smiles she gives to bad guys are deliciously creepy. She’s also just so feral. She made some pretty unhinged smiles when confronting the Master, which was so fun to watch. And of course, her crazed smiles when absorbing the Cyberium were *chef’s kiss.* They felt similar to the expressions 11 had in Nightmare in Silver, and that was because he was being possessed! 13 was simply acting that unhinged and arrogant solely because of her own pure ego!

I also super cannot wait to see what goes down in the finale because I get the feeling that she is absolutely going to lose it. There’s no way she’s gonna start developing better coping mechanisms within one episode, and it’s gotta get worse before it gets better, so I look forward to seeing her at her absolute worst.

Phew, wow did I go on for a while there! Sorry for the ramble! I just love 13 a lot.

4. Favorite Dalek story?It’s gotta be “Dalek.” That’s the gold standard for me. I love how well it established what a threat a single Dalek can be, which I think later Dalek episodes failed to do as good a job with partially because they used huge armies of Daleks. With a single Dalek, you end up leaving what an army of Daleks can do to the imagination. And also, this was just a great Nine episode. It showed such a vicious and unhinged side of the Doctor, which is always fun to see. Nine is normally icy on the outside, but he’s usually pretty chill most of the time, so seeing such an angry hateful side to him was absolutely fascinating, character-wise.

#s answers asks #doctor who #cauldronofmorning

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fivecentimeterspersecond · 5 years

Text

Interview with Sui Wenjing with Xu Lijia (English Translation)

Chinese Pairs skater Sui Wenjing sat down for a discussion/interview with Olympic Gold Medalist in sailing, Xu Lijia. I did a loose translation of the 10 minute rapid-fire q&a in the beginning segment, so this is a detailed translation of the long discussion starting at 11:10.

If you’d like to listen, there’s a dropbox link someone sent me of it (since you need to download an app to listen) and someone also uploaded on bilibili.

The “free skate”/discussion portion of the interview starting at 11:10:

After winning the silver medal at the Olympics, Wenjing underwent surgery in her foot and entered a lengthy recovery period. In March prior to the World Championships, she had another accidental fell and hurt her lower back, but finally with persevering will and spirit, she and her partner gave another perfect performance on the World Championships stage. To stand on the highest step of the podium, what kind of pain did she have to endure? Xu Lijia continues her conversation with Sui Wenjing.

Xu: I want to turn this discussion back onto winning the World Championships, this is already your second time becoming World Champions. I saw your performance at Worlds and I was completely blown away - I believe no matter whether you were watching live in-person or watching at home on tv, you have the same feeling. Before the competition did you think you would be able to execute so well?

Sui: No, I didn’t dare think that. Before the competition, we had a lot of mishaps like when I’d fallen while practicing the twist, Cong completely missed catching me and I fell directly onto the ice. At the time, I had to rest 3-4 days just laying there, then slowly resumed training. But even right before I left I was unable to successfully complete all 13 elements which made me pretty anxious. In addition after the fall, I was doubting myself like, “Can I really do this? Can I even compete?” If we didn’t skate well then what do we do? But I felt like there were so many people helping us so I felt a bit guilty. But at the same time I was afraid that, 1) another injury or mishap might occur while competing, and 2) if we didn’t compete well, we would leave a negative impression on the judges and would affect our scores for next year.

Xu: So you didn’t really expect that you would perform so well. Then if you couldn’t even perform all the elements right before leaving, then what mysterious force do you think propelled you to skate so perfectly? Or what other skills?

Sui: Some kind of mystical force from the universe [laughs] kidding, kidding! Honestly just the accumulation of several years of training and learning how to control ourselves during competition. Once we get to the competition, we know what we need to do, how we need to skate because when we were younger, we didn’t have a good feeling on how to compete. In addition our coaches were always encouraging me, saying not to give up, we have to fight. Whatever happens, happens. It’s not like you don’t have a chance. Think about it: even though this is what your preparation looks like, no matter how you skate, at least you did your best and you’re happy. But look at your competitors, they also have a tough battle - they probably think their competition’s condition isn’t that good, and because they see they have a big opportunity, they’re going to be more nervous. This is how everyone’s mindset shifts. But now you have no burdens, you may be injured and everyone knows you’re injured, so you just fight against yourself. However you skate, it is what it is. Our team leader Lu told us “you must show us your status as a top athlete. You don’t necessarily have to skate well, but you need to show your best self to the judges and the audiences and that you still deserve to stand at the top of the world.” That released a lot of our burdens, and allowed us to put forward our best effort in competition.

Xu: It seems that in all aspects you received so much support and coordination from your entire team, they were constantly encouraging you. Because you encountered so many hardships, it sounds like that was able to release your burdens as well. Once you take that pressure off yourself, you’re able to put your best face forward and perform for everyone.

Sui: Right, of course there’s still some nervousness, but comparatively significantly less. Also after seeing our competitors’ condition, I felt like once we got to the competition, I thought, “no, I have to fight. Why are you ahead of me when you usually don’t skate as well as us!” I really thought that! I thought, I have to do my best. I didn’t think, oh I need to surpass them, I just need to be my best self, and if I surpass myself then I’ll win. Also before the competition I had constant support from fans, medical staff, always working hard and helping me with detailed preparation, how to adjust my condition, etc. I’m so thankful to everyone. This medal is due to our entire team.

Xu: I believe that this year’s world championship will be one of your most treasured experiences. Usually after the season is done, the summer is when you choreograph new programs. This year do you have any plans of where you’ll go for choreography?

Sui: We already finished choreographing. Once we finished competing, the week after we got new choreography, and then two weeks later we went to Japan to perform.

Xu: I can imagine you must have a lot of Japanese fans.

Sui: Yes, the fans from Japan are quite adorable. (laugh)

Xu: (laughs) How long does it usually take you to learn and remember a set of new choreography?

Sui: It doesn’t take long to completely memorize the choreography, maybe about one week. But if you want to be able to perform the program in competition, then it’ll take at least 3 months, roughly.

Xu: Three months? This is because it takes that long to perfect and be comfortable?

Sui: Right, you need to be familiar with it. Also, pairs skating is hard because of the coordination needed between partners - the rhythm, timing, in addition to the connection to the music. These are pretty difficult. Like, if you think about ice dance, they do have a lot of elements that require the two partners’ coordination but they don’t need to prepare for hard elements like jumps or throws, so they don’t need to leave time to prepare for these types of elements. In pairs skating, each element takes a lot of time, so once you complete an element you have to continue to perform. So when we’re choreographing we have to be very aware of the timing between the skaters and the music. This aspect requires a significant amount of time to perfect.

Xu: When you are choreographing do you listen entirely to the choreographer or do you guys add your own ideas or movements?

Sui: When we were very young, maybe the first two years we left the country to do choreography with Lori [Nichol], we pretty much listened entirely to her; we did whatever she said. But these past few years, Lori is someone with really good eyes: she is able to recognize our good ideas and pull them out of us. So these last 2 years we’ve used a lot of our own movements. In our programs this year, around 70% of the choreography was from stuff that Han Cong and I thought up. She would be like, oh hey, this way is good. A lot of our friends would ask us, “then why don’t you just choreograph your programs yourselves?” I’d say, no we can’t, because Lori has really good eyes. She’s able to easily see the big picture construction of the program. It’s like building a house: you start from the ground up then seal the roof. But we can’t see that. Also, we can’t see what a certain movement will look like from now until 4-5 months later. Whenever I watch videos of our programs the past few years from the first week after we choreographed, my god, it’s terrifying! They were just so ugly! But one year later, it looks like the way that she envisioned, really good. But at the time we couldn’t see it at all. This is Lori’s greatest strength.

Xu: It seems just like how an actor, after acting for so long can also become a director. Once you’ve done enough choreography you can come up with your own ideas and opinions.

Skating fans like to call Sui Wenjing and Han Cong “Onion Bucket” (cong （葱）= onion, sounds like his name; tong（桶）= bucket, a joke from when she was young and had a “bucket”-like figure). Even though they’ve been partners for 10 years, there’s no actual chemistry between them. Wenjing on Weibo would call him “Second Dad.” How did these two build up such an intimate understanding between each other? Xu Lijia continues her conversation with Sui Wenjing.

Xu: Let’s continue to discuss your figure skating career. Do you remember the first time you partnered with Cong?

Sui: 2007. I remember this clearly because my mom helped me remember.

Xu: Before you previously mentioned because Cong didn’t have a partner anymore, so you got pulled over to try it out, right?

Sui: Right, right.

Xu: At the time, what was your first reaction?

Sui: I just thought why not try it? (laughs) Right, at the time I thought, this guy looks so scary.

Xu: (laughs) You don’t think he looks cool? I think he’s very cool/handsome!

Sui: He does look cool, but when he’s being scary it doesn’t show.

Xu: Ahh. So you just didn’t like that he has a bad attitude.

Sui: Right! Well, it’s not that he “seems” to, he DOES have a bad attitude! (laugh)

Xu: (laugh) So it’s like this! Then as soon as you paired up did you have good chemistry or was it due to many years together practicing?

Sui: Not at the start, because first I never learned pairs before, and second, when I was younger I just immediately started skating with him after establishing some fundamentals in skating and jumps. I was like a blank piece of paper. My individual abilities were quite strong, and I was the type of person who could basically withstand anything during practice, falling a few times, a few bruises here and there didn’t bother me. I was pretty coordinated, which probably had to do with taking dance and martial arts lessons before, I grasped it pretty quickly. After pairing for 4 months — no, more like 20 days after pairing up, we entered our first competition. [T/N: some stuff muffled here, they were interrupting each other] We barely made the qualification round at the National Games, I remember.

Xu: Wow, very impressive that you were able to compete so shortly after partnering up. When you were younger and had less strength, did you fall a lot learning lifts and throws?

Sui: Yeah, I fell a lot. It’s not that I didn’t have enough strength, just that I wasn’t used to the “feeling” of being in the air or “feeling” of pairs skating, because pairs is actually quite different from singles. You have to rotate horizontally and vertically, you have to rotate so high in the air during throws, and low to the ice during spins. It’s important for pairs women have to get to the feeling of rotating in the air so many ways, it takes a while to get used to. But I felt like I got used to it pretty quickly, including throws - my teacher said “do a throw double” and I don’t know how, but I just closed my eyes and did a triple. (Xu: Ohh…) Yeah, and I landed it, but thought, wait, this doesn’t seem right, and fell to the ground.

Xu: You seem to have a lot of natural talent.

Sui: Yeah. Then my teacher said, tomorrow don’t do doubles, just go straight to triples. From then on I never did doubles.

Xu: Wow. You increased the difficulty so quickly. In your impression, what do you think was your worst fall?

Sui: Worst fall I think was probably this year’s [fall before worlds].

Xu: Ah, the one where you said when you fell it felt like you lost half a life?

Sui: Yeah, because this time was during a twist, your entire body is horizontal in the air.

Xu: Ah yes, it’s so high, falling from a height even higher than your body height.

Sui: Right, it’s like my body height plus an arms length, so that would be over 2 meters tall. I went down head first, and watching the video, my reaction was pretty quick and I used my hand to lift my head a bit, then I rolled over. Otherwise my organs, head, spine may have been impacted. My self-protection instinct was pretty good.

Xu: I think this another kind of innate talent, because I heard before from Li Zijun that pairs ladies need to be very tough.

Sui: Right, because during throw and solo jumps, your body is vertical, so if you fall its usually on your butt, knees, arms. It’s actually easier to protect yourself then. But when you’re completely horizontal, you’re already feeling confused while you’re flying in the air, you don’t know where to grab onto and falling straight onto the ice horizontally is pretty dangerous.

Xu: The fact that so shortly after a fall like that you were able to win the world championships is really so admirable. When you learn quad throws, from when you first start learning, how long does it take to have a high success rate? How long does that process take?

Sui: Quad throws? Actually internationally very few attempt quad throws, and right now we don’t do them often either. Once you get to a certain age, the burdens these elements take on your health increase compared to when you were younger. So now we don’t do them often. When I used to do them competitively a few years ago, I actually didn’t do them that often either, only when my condition was good I would do 4-5 of them. But at that time my success rate was higher than 50%, I was able to grasp them pretty quickly. But it depends on the athlete, some could do them for years and never accomplish it. Some will do it a few times and get used to the feeling, and be able to do them. It depends on the person’s feeling. I remember when I was young I did quad throws, and I did them for a pretty long time but I wasn’t able to complete them perfectly. But once I got older, before my surgery, I was able to do both quad throws and quad twists in a program. But these elements require a lot of physical strength and the process took 10 years, almost 20 years of training. This doesn’t necessarily mean you can complete them in a single program, and you have to train with high caution to be able to complete them. Because our height difference isn’t that big, I have to use more strength to make the throws as high or higher than others, and therefore the impact on my ankles, knees, spine, etc. is much greater than other female partners.

Xu: Like you just said, your partner Han Cong isn’t as tall as Zhang Hao or other international athletes who are so much bigger and stronger, his figure seems to be more similar to singles skaters? (Sui: Yes) Even though your height difference isn’t so remarkable, you’re still able to get such amazing results - how were you able to overcome this aside from what you said before, like gaining more physical strength. How did he overcome the deficit due to his physique?

Sui: He just did strength training and “practiced me”. (Laughs)

Xu: So he has a greater strength requirement due to his height and figure.

Sui: Well usually if you’re big then you’ll have more strength, but at the same time, we have our own strengths that others can’t achieve. For example, when we do solo elements like jumps, we’re very in sync because our height and weight are roughly the same, the difference in appearance doesn’t look like much.

Xu: Ahh, just like our synchronized divers, you both are very similar [in shape].

Sui: Correct. Also, for side-by-side spins we look a lot more in sync because we have a similar [body] radius, so we spin similarly.

Xu: Once you explain it, it makes sense!

Sui: Right, and during skating, our legs have similar length so our lines and rhythm is the same too. Plus when we perform we look very coordinated. It’s not like some of the pairs with one tall and one short skater, it’s like, hey why don’t these two seem to have a very “couple” feeling? (laugh)

Xu: I heard that before the World Championships, you specifically lost 6 kg. If you gain even a little weight, does it impacts him a lot?

Sui: It does affect him. As for myself, it doesn’t really affect my ability to do solo elements individually, like I can do them one by one with no problem. But during program, all 13 elements, once I get to the 5th or 6th element, I don’t have energy after. I get very exhausted. In addition, once I lose weight of course it helps my partner but even more-so it helps myself complete the performance better.

Xu: So are you the type who doesn’t gain weight easily no matter what you eat or gains weight easily?

Sui: Well, now I’m over 20, even though I’m past puberty I’m still okay, I don’t gain weight that easily.

Xu: But do you find it painful when you have to lose weight?

Sui: I just eat vegetables. Once I eat vegetables for a few days I’ll lose the weight. But what I find most annoying, is really everyone, including fans, when they meet me are like, “Wow you’re so skinny! I never realized you were so skinny!” But when they watch me skate on TV are like, “Huh, I think you look pretty chubby.” I’m so tired. I really can’t help it! (T/N: i just want to note that she says this all with a very light hearted, humorous tone, not as offended as she comes off in the translation)

Xu: (laughs) But actually, the TV does actually seem to add weight, it pulls you horizontally.

Sui: Yes, but there’s another thing you might not have thought of. There may be pairs ladies that are larger and taller than me, but when they stand next to a super tall and big male partner, they seem much smaller.

Xu: Ahh, you’re right, so that’s Han Cong’s fault.

Sui: (laugh) No problem, no problem at all! But one of his best features is that he’s got a really small face. I also really have a small face, it’s like a melon seed - when you see me in person you’ll notice my face is super small. But Cong has SUCH a tiny face, it’s like a small knife! Ah, it pisses me off! I have such a small face but I have to stand in front of him, so my face seems so much larger and rounder. It’s so unbearable!

Xu: Sui is giving our audience some weight loss tips, just eat vegetables a few days and you’ll get skinnier, right!

Sui: Well, because I usually do a lot of training, aerobics, anaerobic exercise - figure skating is a very physically demanding sport so once you cut calories you’ll naturally lose weight. And drink lots of water!

Xu: When you’re learning pairs skating, are there times you and Han Cong have difference of opinions? Do you guys fight often?

Sui: We fight all the time, it happens often. In pairs skating, or any team sport, these kinds of problems arise all the time. After many years, we’ve learned how to compromise.

Xu: How do you guys make it work and stick together?

Sui: Before when we really couldn’t agree or come up with a solution, we would immediately find our coach, I think like this, he thinks like that, what do we do? And we would just go with whatever the coach said was better. Now we compromise or if our ideas are completely opposite, we do rock paper scissors and let god decide.

Xu: Wow, so you use this kind of method? (laughs)

Sui: Yeah and now we’re much more rational during training and we don’t try to assert dominance over one another. We have to work to maintain each other’s conditions.

Xu: You two seem to have different conditions on and off the ice. Are your personalities similar or different?

Sui: We are two completely different people.

Xu: (laugh) I see that you really like to hassle him (T/N: dragging is probably a better term encapsulation of her sentiment though, kind of like jokingly criticize? it just sounded weird to put it in translation LOL), while I feel like he tries to appear serious.

Sui: No, I just really like hassling/dragging people! Nothing I can do about it, I’m just so used to it, I do it with everyone I talk to. I’m even like this about myself, very self-deprecating.

Xu: You must have lots of fun in your life. When you’re training with the team, do you usually eat with him [in the dorm cafeterias]?

Sui: We usually do eat together. I guess the good thing is that the two of us “look good” together? (laugh) [T/N: she uses the term “赏心悦目” which literally means pleasing to the eyes and heart…so she’s basically say they’re well matched HAHA]

Xu: When you don’t discuss figure skating or training, what other topics do you talk about? Are there any conversation topics you have in common?

Sui: He would tell me about books he recently read, movies he watched, any movies he’d like to see. I usually tell him, man I have things to do…(Xu: laughs) I really do have things to do! I usually have class on Sundays, I don’t really like wasting my free time. But usually most of my free time I’m doing nothing, playing around on my phone, but occasionally I’ll read a book, etc.

Xu: I see. Let’s discuss your coach Zhao Hongbo. Would you consider him a more easy-going or strict/serious coach?

Sui: I would say both. When we encounter hardships, he becomes a lot more easy-going but when we have problems during training then he becomes more strict. Everyone has different sides to them, and he will often try to help us from many angles.

Xu: What has he passed on to you that has helped you the most?

Sui: Because I’m a very fast-paced person, as you can probably tell-

Xu: You’re pretty self-aware!

Sui: Yes yes! And often during competitions, I may get really stressed and unable to control myself.

Xu: So he helps calm you down.

Sui: He would say, don’t rush, take it step by step, like this past competition. He said just do what you need to do, however you skate we’ll be happy. But sometimes when we’re training and not so rushed, he would tell us, “you see what your competitors are like?” to apply a bit of pressure on us.

Xu: I feel like no matter what situation you’re in, he never seems to get too stressed, he seems very calm. You need a coach like this to keep you level-headed, especially when you’re frazzled, lost, nervous, or when you encounter difficulties. As Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo are Olympic champions, do you see any points of similarity and difference between you and them?

Sui: Hmm…points of similarity and difference…for differences, the two of us started competing internationally and earned medals much earlier. In addition, the two of us grasped a lot more performance styles.

Xu: So you two perform with more music genre and dance genre.

Sui: Right. We have a lot more variety because a lot of athletes can’t develop a lot of versatility in performance styles.

Xu: Right now, Shen Xue is the [Chinese skating federation] president, she probably isn’t like Hongbo meeting you in the training center daily. So under what circumstances do you meet up with her, and what do you discuss?

Sui: Sometimes when my condition isn’t so good and I’m in a bad mood, when I’m stressed to a certain limit, she’ll talk with me, give me some small encouragement, step by step work through some problems during training. She would also tell me, “there’s a lot of new kids on the team, you’re all role models, when you have some time help me manage them.” Right now kids are adorable, but then when they’re teenagers/adolescents, then…you know.

Xu: They can be very rebellious.

Sui: They’re okay. Every age there’s something going on.

Xu: President Shen acts as an authority figure, does she give you any advice or guidance with anything?

Sui: Yes, for example during competitions she might give her ideas on hair style, or help with treating my competition tights because sometimes the color isn’t great, so it doesn’t look as bright so she tells me how to treat them so they look a bit better.

Xu: Ah she has many small tips. Finally, a lot of fans may want to know if you have any hobbies/interests?

Sui: Right now I like to read books and do calligraphy. But recently I’ve been pretty busy, I haven’t really been attending my calligraphy class.

Xu: Calligraphy? How did you start? Is it because it helps you calm down or did you like it since you were young?

Sui: Since I was young, I was the kind that wanted to learn everything. I told my mom, I want to learn to sing, dance, draw, play piano, I want to learn everything. My mom said, “who has time for all of that?!” But I still learned a lot of things, I ended up learning dance and martial arts, and of course skating. But outside of school I learned a lot. And english, I learned as well.

Xu: Speaking of english, I saw that you were using Ted talks for english lessons online. How’s that going?

Sui: Eh I don’t think it’s going that great. Sometimes I’ll just try to complete the lesson no matter how sloppily I do. But every day I try to do a few questions and look at them, it’s better than nothing. For english you have to speak and read it often.

Xu: Right, when I see you doing interviews you do speak quite well!

Sui: Well, for those once you do a lot of them you’re used to it.

Xu: That’s true. Last year when I saw you both at the Winter Olympics, I thought wow, seeing so many more Chinese athletes doing interviews in english, I was so happy.

Sui: I actually really like learning things, and I wanted to learn some instruments too. Before I even learned violin but my neck isn’t good for it. (laughs)

Xu: I get the feeling that you’re an extremely versatile person.

Sui: More like I can’t focus on one thing/get distracted easily. (laughs) I can’t ever persist with anything.

Xu: But I feel you already so dedicated to figure skating, you don’t really need any other hobbies, they just make your life more fulfilling (“colorful”). Finally, I want to give you the opportunity to give your loving fans some words/comments.

Sui: Firstly, I really want to thank these numerous fans for their support. I think that they’re all very dear to me, because they don’t have any personal or blood relations, they probably just saw us on TV or in competition one time and grew to love us and support us. Some even travel to follow us across the world. Some of them give us little gifts or throw plushies at every competition. It’s really touching and heart warming. In addition, the cheers and applause we receive at the end of competitions, I believe as an athlete that’s been able to make it this far, I’m so proud and happy. Thank you so much to our friends that are like family to us quietly supporting me and Han Cong. We will continue to work hard to show you our best selves. Thank you everyone.

Xu: Just like you just said, we hope you can maintain your health and have less injuries and fewer dangerous situations, hopefully in future competitions you can continue to surpass yourselves. We also look forward to more surprises from the “onion bucket” team. Thank you, Sui Wenjing!

Sui: Okay thank you thank you thank you!

#suihan #wenjing sui #cong han #chinese pairs #figure skating #sui wenjing #han cong #pairs skating

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whitewolfofwinterfell · 5 years

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My favourite Charmed episodes - season 4

This is the fourth part of my Favourite Charmed Episodes meta series all posts in the series will be tagged as #favecharmedeps.

Season 4 is a brilliant season, there’s no denying that. Over the years whenever I’ve seen fans discussing their favourite seasons, season 4 is usually always near the top and for a good reason. This season is when we’re introduced to Paige, whose transition onto the show is done brilliantly, the sister dynamics are beautiful and each of the sisters has their own unique arc. Overall, it’s just a great season that is strong throughout and although I think season 3 was a great season, I feel like this season is when Charmed truly hit it’s peak. I’ve picked 8 episodes from season 4 (which is the most episodes from any of the seasons) and they are - Charmed Again, Hell Hath No Fury, A Knight to Remember, Brain Drain, A Paige from the Past, Lost and Bound, Charmed and Dangerous and Long Live the Queen.

Just a heads up before you start reading, this post is pretty long (I just couldn’t help myself, season 4 is my favourite season).

Charmed Again Part 1 & 2 (4x01+2)

I’m including Charmed Again parts 1 and 2 as one episode (and I’ll refer to it as one episode from now on just to make it simpler), even though they’re technically two because they’re the same story split across two episodes. As the years have gone by I’ve come to love Charmed Again more and more. Despite how sad it is because it’s the first time we face the aftermath of Prue’s death, it’s a fantastic episode which manages to successfully explore the sisters grief and gives fans some closure about Prue’s death, introduce Paige as the new sister and stay true to Charmed whilst also establishing a new dynamic without Prue and with Paige in her place. It’s no easy task to kill off a main character in the middle of a series and Prue was a very big character and very important to the show. Her death could’ve easily destroyed the show, but the writers handled it amazingly. I’m one of the biggest Prue fans in the world, and even I can’t deny that they did her death justice and introduced Paige in a very authentic way despite how rushed it was and the way in which Prue (Shannen) left the show.

I love the opening scene of the episode and the way in which it makes us doubt whether Prue is really dead, only to bring the hard-hitting reality back home. I love the contrast between the sisters grief with Piper outwardly expressing her devastation and Phoebe retreating into herself and trying to keep busy and hold everything together. It immediately demonstrates that the sister dynamic has been completely turned upside down, since Phoebe in seasons 1-3 is known for being the youngest sister and the least responsible, but now it falls to her to take charge. These differences in how they handle Prue’s death is also shown in how Piper completely shuts down and refuses to continue being a Charmed One and saving innocents, whilst in comparison, Phoebe throws herself into trying to save Paige and believes that whether Prue is alive or not her premonitions still have meaning and she needs to act on them. The follow-up from this is the different ways in which the sisters react to finding out that Paige is their sister. When Patty tells Piper and Phoebe about Paige, Phoebe’s instant reaction is shock but also joy to an extent, whereas Piper’s is just shock and anger. She says that she’ll save Paige because she’s an innocent, but she has no interest in developing a relationship with her or reconstituting the Power of Three. Personally, I think Piper’s closed-off attitude to Paige in contrast to Phoebe’s open attitude perfectly shows the ways in which they dealt with Prue’s death in different ways. For Piper, accepting another sister feels like a betrayal to Prue. I also think that at this point, deep down inside she resents Paige because Prue’s loss is so fresh and in Piper’s eyes, nobody could ever compare to Prue. I think she probably hates herself for thinking it but some part of her probably wished that Prue was still there in Paige’s place and that was very difficult for her to deal with. But for Phoebe, she sees Paige as the only positive to come out of Prue’s death. She grieves Prue, of course she does, but she chooses to see Prue’s death as having meaning because it has brought them to Paige. Phoebe is faster to accept Prue’s death and that acceptance enables her to open up to Paige and see it as an opportunity to bond with another sister.

I love that the writers chose to write it this way, because I think these two different reactions from the sisters represented how most of us felt as fans and viewers. Some of us were Piper - in denial and distraught to have lost Prue; some of us were Phoebe - accepting that Prue was gone and open to the new start that Paige would bring. And whatever side we were on, it was important to that we saw those two reactions from Piper and Phoebe, because that allowed us to come to the acceptance stage through them.

Putting aside the sisters grief over Prue, this episode is one of the most intriguing and mysterious episodes of Charmed because Prue has just died and now anything can happen. In regards to the plot, it is super interesting to see The Source attempt to corrupt Paige, because there is that feeling of I don’t know what’s going to happen. As a brand new character there are no guarantees that Paige is safe from dying or that the sisters are capable of saving her without the Power of Three. Even when the Power of Three is reformed, there’s uncertainty about whether it will be as powerful as the original trio. Overall, this episode has very high stakes and no matter how many times I watch it, I find myself being sucked into it.

The introduction of Paige is seamless and she is immediately established as a unique character different from the other sisters. She’s sympathetic and it’s easy to connect to her from the off. Although I can’t quite put my finger on how, the writers and Rose manage to portray Paige as having Halliwell characteristics that make her feel like one of the family very quickly. But she still has that element of individuality that makes her very different from the other sisters. We learn enough about Paige - that she doesn’t drink, she’s scared of being hurt, she’s a social worker, her parents are dead etc. - to like her but not too much so that there’s an element of mystery about her that leaves us with the oppourtunity to continue getting to know her throughout the season. Although we are emotionally aligned with Piper and Phoebe since we’ve been with them for three years and are dealing with Prue’s loss, Paige’s dilemma evokes a similar amount of empathy. Her world is turned upside down and the only person she has to turn to is Shane, who is possessed by The Source. Paige’s inexperience and lack of knowledge regarding the magical world makes her an easy target and her denial of what’s happening to her is very understandable. In this episode we see Paige go on an emotional journey and the end is such a fantastic pay-off - the sisters bring her to the manor and she meets Patty for the first time. To date, I still consider that one of the most beautiful scenes of the series. It’s the perfect end to the episode and solidifies the fact that although there’s still a lot of development to be had, Paige is absolutely a Halliwell and she belongs with Piper and Phoebe at the manor.

Overall, this episode is the perfect follow-up to All Hell Breaks Loose. When I was younger I had a lot of problems with the way the episode skipped right over the immediate aftermath of Prue’s death and felt we were robbed of seeing that process, but now I see that actually the episode handles it exactly right. Prue is gone and Paige is here and this episode shows that without being too forceful or making it so that Paige is Prue’s replacement, even though in reality that’s exactly what she is and we all know it.

Hell Hath No Fury (4x03)

This episode is one of my all time favourites across the entire series. Why? Because it has everything - Cole, Piper and Phoebe working together to fight demons, Paige experimenting with being a witch for the first time with rather humorous consequences and then being forced to step up and face the reality of being a witch as events take a dark turn, we see Phoebe dealing with being the middle sister and having to mediate between Piper and Paige just like Piper used to do for her and Prue, and of course we see Piper’s grief over losing Prue. It’s the perfect continuation from Charmed Again in addressing the grief over Prue’s death and establishing Paige in both the magical world and the Halliwell family.

Holly’s acting in this episode is phenomenal and that’s something I have to mention when discussing this episode. Her breakdown in the mausoleum is far and above one of the most raw and emotional scenes of the entire series. It’s so powerful and it doesn’t matter how many times I see it, it still really upsets me. In fact, I find that scene the most upsetting one out of all the ones there are about Prue’s death including the scene where she actually dies, because I think that’s the moment where it really sinks in that Prue is gone and she’s not coming back. Although Charmed Again reaffirms the fact that Prue is gone, by the end of the episode Piper was still in denial and in this episode Piper has shifted from denial to anger. It’s the natural process we’re all familiar with - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

What is so beautiful about Piper’s outburst towards the end of the episode is that Paige is the one that is with her. The two struggle to bond as sisters because of Piper’s grief over losing Prue, but in this scene in the mausoleum they are able to connect as two people who have lost their family. Paige knows exactly how Piper is feeling and she’s able to articulate that for her in a way that no one else can because she’s experienced that kind of loss. It’s actually a very underrated sister moment between Piper and Paige, because it’s the first time they really connect, even if it is only for a brief moment. It’s overlooked as a sister moment because the focus is on Piper’s emotional reaction but there’s a bond that’s forged in this moment between the two sisters. The writers were very clever to specifically choose Paige to share that moment with Piper, because it wouldn’t have worked in the same way if it had been Phoebe. And them sharing that moment is what allows Piper at the end of the episode to finally open herself up to Paige for the first time. The scene at the end of the episode where Piper brings Paige muffins and calls her her sister is one of the sweetest moments ever, because it’s such a simple gesture but it demonstrates that Piper has reached the acceptance stage and is ready to welcome Paige into her life and her heart.

Speaking of Paige, I love her development in this episode. In Charmed Again she reacted very negatively to being a witch and wanted to run from it, yet in this episode we see her start to embrace it. Like any other young woman in her position would, she starts to wonder what perks being a witch could bring and although her stealing the Book and casting a series of spells is technically wrong and against the rules, I can’t help but love her for it because it’s so human. Who wouldn’t do that in the same situation? I’d definitely want to have some fun! That happening also demonstrates though that the sisters aren’t there for Paige in the way they should be. It’s understandable given how fresh Prue’s death is, but Paige really needs Piper and Phoebe’s guidance and support and as Phoebe rightfully points out, the fact that they don’t give her that time leads her to steal the Book not knowing that it is wrong. So not only is it a valuable lesson for Paige on personal gain, it’s a valuable lesson for Piper and Phoebe, who take a much more hands-on approach with Paige from this episode onwards. As the episode progresses, Paige has to deal with Piper’s transformation into a Fury, despite being completely new to the magical world. But like Phoebe tells Piper at the end of the episode, she doesn’t freak out, she handles it and she actually takes initiative and figures out that the Call For a Lost Witch Spell will work if they substitute the word sister for witch. And on reflection, Paige is actually the one that saves the day in this episode. Her actions are what save Piper. Her idea to change the spell and use Cole as bait is what draws Piper back to them and Paige’s intuition about Piper’s feelings allow her to get Piper to fully open up about how she’s feeling and that’s what turns her back into herself. It’s very subtle but this episode shows that whilst the death of a sister broke Piper, the discovery of another healed her. And that’s why in Sam I Am in season 5 Piper talks about how Paige brought the family back together and how she’s the reason she is still standing there. It’s true and the legacy of that sister relationship begins here.

What I love most about this episode is how authentic it is in exploring the aftermath of Prue’s death. It shows that grief is an ongoing process, it doesn’t just magically get better overnight and it manifests itself in a variety of ways. Piper handles it very differently from Phoebe, but they both struggle in their own ways. But the important thing that this episode establishes is that the new trio has the potential to work, both as a sisterhood and The Power of Three. Paige manages to overcome her fears of demons to fight back and she takes initiative to find Piper, all demonstrating her potential as a witch. She also manages to access the deepest part of Piper’s grief and enable her to face it so that she can finally open herself up to Paige for the first time. It’s just such a beautiful episode with a great payoff and really lays the foundation for what the new trio can be and what they eventually become.

A Knight to Remember (4x06)

The reason I love this episode can be pretty much summed up in one word: Paige. Up until this point Paige was likeable to me, but this is the episode that really showed me that Paige was an individual with her own personality and uniqueness and that I could love her every bit as much as I loved Prue.

Generally speaking, I am a sucker for any fairytale-esque episodes, so that’s likely part of the reason I like this episode so much, but mostly it’s because of Paige. It’s so good to see her relationship with Glenn and her past self in the form of the Enchantress because it gives us a deeper insight into Paige’s life before she met the sisters and also her depths as a character. In the past Phoebe always chastised herself for having a past self that was ‘evil’ (in Pardon My Past) so by creating the same for Paige, there was a common-ground for both the sisters which acted as a bond for their relationship. All of the sister relationships are unique, but Phoebe and Paige’s relationship is unique because of the way in which they can relate to each other for being more rebellious and ‘dark’ in nature, and although we see elements of that before this episode, the seeds of that are fully sown in this episode.

Moving on from that for a moment, I love the scene at the beginning of the episode with Piper going into Prue’s room and putting on her leather jacket. It’s important to see that the grief process is ongoing and that Piper has moved past the raw emotion to be able to remember Prue in a more peaceful way. I always felt that Piper putting on Prue’s leather jacket was very symbolic of her taking her rightful place as the eldest sister and accepting that responsibility, since she’d been quite resistant and slightly resentful of it up until this point.

Back to Paige, it’s interesting to see that inner battle she’s still having about what being a witch means for her. On the one hand, we’ve seen her embrace being a witch to some extent in previous episodes, but in this episode we see her still being reluctant to give up her ‘normal’ life to fully commit to being a witch. She strongly resists moving into the manor, insisting that she wants to keep a life separate from magic along with her privacy, but really her reasons are deeper than that and much more emotional. Paige is afraid to live with the sisters because it’s a huge step, not just for her but for all of them (something that Piper and Phoebe fail to consider until later on in the episode) and she doesn’t feel ready. She’s worried that the sisters are still grieving Prue and will compare her to Prue, placing her in Prue’s shadow and resulting in her feeling like an outsider. This is huge for Paige since she actually doesn’t have a family (except Uncle Dave, who is only mentioned once and never again, which still kinda annoys me, but that’s a separate issue haha) and finding the sisters means a lot to her. Although Piper and Phoebe embrace Paige eventually, finding her doesn’t mean the same to them at this point as it does for Paige. Piper and Phoebe didn’t need or want family, they had each other and Prue, but Paige was practically all alone in the world. When the sisters ask her to move in, she doesn’t want to potentially ruin that chance at having a family because it means so much to her, so she tries to run from it instead. What this episode does is allow Paige to come to terms with moving in with the sisters in her own way. Her determination to deal with the Enchantress alone has consequences and Piper and Phoebe get pulled into a portal, and it’s at that point that she realises she needs to start working with her sisters, not against them. Again, this is the beginning of an ongoing issue for Paige whereby she has to constantly try to negotiate with her sisters, give up her independence and adjust to being part of a team and a family.

Putting the deeper emotional and symbolic meanings aside, this episode has some light-hearted humour with the Prince arriving in San Francisco and being head over heels for Paige. Also seeing Leo take on the guards in the past was a legendary moment.

Overall, I like this episode because it solidifies Paige as an interesting, unique character with her own personality and past. And of course, I love to see the three sisters in the manor where they belong.

Brain Drain (4x07)

Years ago, this episode definitely wouldn’t have made it onto my list. I always found it very creepy because of some personal issues and deep-rooted fears I have regarding some of the themes featured in the episodes. However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve really come to enjoy and appreciate this episode for everything it represents and its importance for Piper as a character.

Piper goes through a huge change in this season because of Prue’s death. I always think it’s a little unfair that Piper gets all the attention when it comes to Prue’s death and Phoebe is kind of forgotten, but objectively, no one can deny that Piper is more profoundly affected by it. It really comes down to the fundamental differences in Piper and Phoebe as people but also their relationships with Prue, but I digress. The point is that Piper undergoes a huge change and in the episodes leading up to this one we’ve seen her dealing with the loss of Prue. However, by this episode there’s almost an assumption that Piper is totally fine (because outwardly that’s how it appears) and that she has fully embraced Paige, but what this episode does that no other does (not even Hell Hath No Fury) is address Piper’s emotions and underlying grief head-on and give it complete closure.

In previous seasons we’ve seen the sisters be targeted by demons and warlocks who seek to worm their way into their lives and strike when they’re most vulnerable. Generally, Phoebe has been the target because she’s perceived as the easiest to infiltrate because her inherent optimism and caring spirit compels her to see the good in people and trust them. In this episode, Piper is chosen because her emotional fragility makes her susceptible to the Source’s master plan (which, in my opinion, is a very effective plan and I actually think the Source’s intelligence in this instance is very overlooked). Piper is a very unhappy person at this point - Prue is dead, she wants a baby but feels she can’t because of the danger the baby would be in, she craves a normal life but feels she can’t have one - and seeing her friend Wendy reaffirms all of the negative emotions she feels and that desire to be ‘normal’. By attacking Piper’s mind in the way he does, the Source is able to dig into the deepest part of Piper’s fears and desires and it’s very revealing. The entire basis of getting Piper to reveal the power relinquishing spell is to tell her that Prue is still alive. Over and over Alistair (the Source) tells her that if she allows him to help her she’ll be able to leave the institution and be with Prue again. That’s how powerful Piper’s grief still is at this point - so powerful that the thought that she could see Prue again is enough to tempt her to give in. In addition to this, we see the Source play on Piper’s desire for a life without magic by bringing in her friend Wendy and her baby. But what’s taken forgranted, is that this desire for a normal life is linked to Prue. Although Piper expresses in season 1 that she just wants to be normal again and we see her say something similar on a few other occasions, this season is where we truly see that desire rear it’s ugly head and it’s directly connected to Prue’s death. Piper no longer sees the value of magic, can no longer make sense of its purpose and believes that ultimately all it does is put her loves ones in mortal danger. She wants a normal life because she can’t face anymore loss and she doesn’t want to have to live in a world or possess powers that she feels are responsible for getting her sister killed. The scariest thing about all of this is how close Piper comes to giving it all up. By preying on these emotions and thoughts she has the Source manages to break her spirit in the harshest way and the turmoil Piper endures in this episode is really overlooked, in my opinion.

What makes this so significant is that when the sisters and Leo appear to her and the spell is broken, Piper is finally able to appreciate her life and her sisters in a way she’s been unable to since Prue’s death. She realises that she’s not alone - Phoebe understands how she feels about losing Prue and both Phoebe and Paige understand what it’s like to want a normal life - and she also realises that she can still have some semblance of normal life whilst being a witch. It’s a huge turning point for Piper and a reality check for her to appreciate what she has and find a way to get the balance in her life between magic and ordinary life. As a side note, this is why My Three Witches (and season 6 onwards generally) really bugs me because it’s so inconsistent with Piper’s character development. In this episode she faces up to what a life without magic could look like and realises that her notion of having a ‘normal’ life isn’t everything she imagines it could be and that she’s actually very lucky to have the life she has (a theme that’s continued in Lost and Bound, which I’ll discuss more in-depth below). So to then revert her back to the whole “I want a normal life” mantra is so frustrating.

A Paige from the Past (4x10)

Once again, the reasons I love this episode are probably a little obvious: it’s Paige centric. This is one of the most important Paige centric episodes across the entire series because it’s the only one that actually gives us real insight into Paige’s life before she met the sisters and more importantly, her parents. It still frustrates me so much that we only get to meet Paige’s parents once and that they’re barely mentioned again.

However, this episode beautifully explores Paige’s underlying guilt over her parents death and how it’s shaped her life. We learn that Paige was a rebellious teen that defied her parents and that her actions indirectly led to their death. That one event in Paige’s life is what led her to change and from the day of her parents death she devoted herself to striving to be better and do better to honour their memory. It’s a great insight into Paige’s psyche, and just as A Knight to Remember establishes a connection between Paige and Phoebe through their similarities, this episode provides a common connection between Prue and Paige through their trauma over their parents deaths. Prue was hugely affected by Patty’s death and that ultimately shaped the person she became, just as Paige’s parents’ deaths shaped who she became. Just like Prue who actually saw Patty when she was dead, Paige witnessed her parents die and that profoundly affected her.

This episode reinforces an important and valuable lesson that the sisters already discovered way back in season 1 in That 70s Episode, and that lesson is that you can’t change the past no matter how much you may want to. Destiny is a huge theme throughout the show and some events are fixed because they’re meant to be. We’re told that Prue is meant to die because that leads Piper and Phoebe to Paige. Similarly, Paige’s parents are meant to die because that shapes who she becomes and is part of a sequence of events that leads her to Piper and Phoebe. In addition, the purpose of Paige going back in time is to understand and realise that she wasn’t responsible for her parents deaths. It was a tragic accident that was out of her control and she was saved by magic because she was supposed to. Without going back in time Paige may have carried the burden of guilt for the rest of her life and that would’ve prevented her from being able to fully move forward and grow as a person. And the fact that Paige not only gets to interact with her parents in the past, see their death from an outside perspective and understand it wasn’t her fault, she also gets to communicate with them in the present. The one thing she wanted was for her parents to see the person she became and be proud of her, and she gets that chance. That is a pivotal moment for Paige in allowing her to truly move forward and continue to blossom of a person. A price really can’t be placed on Paige being able to see her parents and know they’ve seen all that she’s done since they’ve died and that they’re proud of her. It’s a beautiful moment to witness, and one of my favourite moments for Paige because of the meaning it holds for her.

The side-plot of the episode with Phoebe and Cole being possessed by ghosts is a somewhat comedic off-set to Paige’s plot. But it also allows Phoebe and Cole to vicariously live through Frankie and Lulu and deal with their difference of opinion on marriage. It’s also good to see Piper try and effectively manage the situation without Leo to lean on, as it’s all part of solidifying her new role as the eldest sister. I also like seeing the close bond that’s developed between Leo and Paige in this episode. Leo has a unique bond with all of the sisters’ and it’s good to see how supportive Leo is of Paige as both a Whitelighter and brother-in-law.

Lost and Bound (4x12)

In this series there’ll be quite a lot of episodes that most people would also list as being one of their favourites, but this episode isn’t one of them. Generally, I don’t think this is an episode that stands out in people’s minds because it’s not particularly memorable but I really like it for a few reasons.

First of all, I should say that I, like most fans, find Tyler very irritating. The character himself is good and works in the episode well, but the choice of actor was awful and I wish they had picked someone more appropriate and experienced for the role. But this doesn’t deter me from listing this as one of my favourite episodes because of the character development. I know I keep blathering on about character development, but for me personally, an ‘average’ episode plot-wise can still make it into my favourites if it has good characterisation and that’s a pattern you’ll notice with most/all of the episodes I choose.

This episode is the perfect follow-up from Brain Drain and great for Piper. As I mentioned above, Brain Drain delved into Piper’s desires to be ‘normal’ more so than any other episode up until this point and this episode shows us how Piper has moved forward and grown from that. We see her in this episode acknowledging the importance of magic and how special it is for probably the first time. She feels so strongly that magic is a part of her as an individual and her family heritage that she gets into a dispute with Leo about the possibility of binding their future child’s powers. Tyler acts as the perfect conduit for Piper’s issues in this episode, because not only does he give her the chance to establish a bond with a child that connects to her motherly instincts, it also gives her clarity on the issue of being a magicical child. She helps Tyler try and control his powers and see that it can be channelled for the right purposes which further reinforces her belief that magic is valuable and something to be cherished. But Tyler’s decision to bind his powers at the end of the episode also reminds her that she also once (not so long ago) wished to be non-magical and that having powers means something different for everyone, but particularly for a child. As a child Tyler doesn’t have any desire to be different or special, he just wants to be like every other child his age and to fit in. There are so many negative repercussions to having powers as a child that I really can’t blame him for making the decision to bind his powers. The scene with Piper and Leo at the end where Piper talks about how Grams binding their powers gave her and her sisters the greatest gift of all - the gift of innocence - helps her to finally see Leo’s perspective on binding their child’s powers and to respect the decision that Grams made when the sisters were young. It’s really a beautiful episode in addressing Piper’s issues with being a witch and bringing this character arc to a wholesome conclusion. Now she doesn’t want to have an ordinary life or to give up her powers, she understands that they’re special. She also knows that there are negatives and dangers that come from having those powers, but that ultimately, she would never give them up because they’re fundamentally a part of who she is and she is able to do much more good with them than she could without them.

In addition to Piper’s character development in this episode, Phoebe also has a great arc. Throughout season 4 we see Phoebe have a bit of an identity crisis following on from Prue’s death and her transition from the youngest to the middle sister. We also see her struggle with Cole’s marriage proposal because she doesn’t feel ready and is generally afraid of marriage and what it represents. In this episode, we see the perfect play-out for this underlying fear Phoebe has. Although the way it’s done is somewhat comical, Grams’ cursed ring allows Phoebe to quite literally live her greatest fears of marriage. She becomes a domesticated housewife whose sole purpose of existing is to please and look after her husband at the detriment and sacrifice of her own identity. By being able to experience this Phoebe comes to the realisation that her notions of marriage are just that - notions. It’s not the reality and marriage’s are unique depending upon the couple. In the final scene with Cole the couple discuss this and agree that they aren’t those kinds of people and their marriage will not become what they perceive to be ‘typical’ because they themselves aren’t ‘typical’ as a witch and an ex-demon-turned-human. Along the way we get to see some funny scenes - the scene in the bathroom is a particular favourite of mine and Leo’s face when Phoebe asks him the ‘very important question’ of whether Tyler is staying for lunch. Not forgetting her little song; “I’m making soup for Cole, he’ll eat it in a bowl, I guess that’s my new role, just making soup for Cole” haha.

Although Paige isn’t as central in this episode, we even get to see her growth as she writes her first ever vanquishing spell by herself, demonstrating her abilities as a witch and the potential she has, which we get to see plenty of in season 5.

Even Cole’s characterisation is good in this episode as we witness him struggle to make the transition from demon to human and get his first job. It’s interesting to see that inner struggle he has between his instinct to do good and his instinct to do good things in not-so-good ways. For example, he desperately wants to get justice for the awful actions of the slumlord, but ultimately his solution to that is to use violence. Personally, I love this version of Cole because it demonstrates that he’s a very morally grey character and unlike the other main characters - the sisters and Leo - he really can’t be boxed in as being wholly good or wholly bad. It’s a very realistic take on his struggle to find his identity as a human who has been a half demon for over a century, and it’s a shame that his character arc didn’t continue down this road.

On a final note, I really enjoy this episode because everything just feels together. Piper and Leo are happy and planning to have a baby; Cole and Phoebe are happy and growing both individually and as a couple; Paige has found her feet within the family and the trio and the family feels united and strong. I actually think that the first half of season 4 up until this point is when the family is at it’s strongest and I loved seeing the togetherness of Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Cole.

Charmed and Dangerous (4x13)

Many of the episodes in this series are episodes that I’ve come to love and appreciate more and more as I’ve gotten older, but Charmed and Dangerous has always been one of my all time favourites. It’d be impossible for me to ever choose my number one favourite episode, but this one would definitely be near the top because for me, this is Charmed at its absolute best.

For me, The Source is the Big Bad of the entire series and as much as the writers attempted to conjure up bigger and more powerful evil nothing topped The Source. This episode is a build up of almost an entire season of mentions of The Source, of him sending demons and warlocks after the sisters and it’s a glorious pay off. From start to finish it’s a thrilling ride that feels unpredictable. Even now when I watch it, I know what happens and how it ends, but it still feels like the sisters really may lose this battle and that anything can happen. The Source is cunning and has spent a very long time gathering information on the sisters to discover their biggest weaknesses and using the Hollow to steal their powers is a very effective method of attempting to defeat them. The sisters genuinely believe that there’s a high chance The Source will kill them which we see through Piper planning a will and Paige using magic to help Carolyn get her son back. The stakes are high in this episode and the tension is palpable. The reveal of The Source’s face for the first time is a great moment and the general action in this episode is gripping. It’s interesting to see the sisters trying to win the fight without their active powers and it’s pretty refreshing to see them use their other wiccan abilities, since as the seasons progress they become more and more dependent upon their powers.

Strangely, I don’t have much more to say about this, because it’s not so much about characterisation in this episode as it is about plot and action. It’s a satisfying and gripping battle between the sisters and The Source - which is essentially the greatest force of good versus the greatest force of evil - and come on, what’s not to love about that?! Plus the ending with Cole becoming The Source is a great cliffhanger to the episode.

Long Live the Queen (4x20)

How could I not include this episode? Regardless of whether you love or hate Cole and his relationship with Phoebe, this episode is amazing. We see the sisters take a walk on the dark side multiple times in seasons 1-3 but never like this. Previously the sisters have been turned evil either by transformations e.g. Piper becoming a wendigo, Phoebe a banshee, Paige a vampire or by possession, but this time Phoebe is corrupted by love and her pregnancy and chooses to become Queen of the Underworld. Because of that, in this episode, much like Charmed and Dangerous, there’s a sense that anything can happen.

From the opening scenes of the episode the tone is set with Phoebe killing some of Cole’s subjects out of annoyance and simply because she can. It’s a very clear statement that Phoebe has completely gone over to the dark side. This is a particularly interesting transformation for Phoebe since canonically she is the sister that is portrayed as having more of an inclination to the dark side. Part of me wonders if from the very beginning Phoebe falling in love was part of that underlying pull she had to darkness. She didn’t know Cole was a demon, but she also knew that he was mysterious and I also think that deep down she did know he was a demon before the reveal in Sleuthing with the Enemy, but that’s kind of a separate issue. What this episode does very well, as it has done in previous episodes, is show the inner battle between good and evil that exists within most of us. Phoebe struggles to find the balance between her new place in the demon world as Queen of the Underworld and her conscience and love for her family which compels her to want to continue saving innocents. But more than showing us Phoebe’s inner turmoil with the light and dark that coexists inside her, this episode perfectly explores the heart-wrenching pain of having to choose between the love of a partner and the love of family. And what I respect about how this episode handled that issue is that it showed how difficult of a choice that was. Phoebe didn’t know who to choose or what to do until the last second when she was forced to choose between the lives of her sisters and Leo or Cole. I could never ever judge Phoebe for how reluctant and unsure she is in making that choice because I can’t imagine having to choose between the person I love and my family. In the end Phoebe’s choice doesn’t just come down to family, it also comes down to good and evil. Phoebe is completely in love with Cole but she knows deep down in her heart that he’s evil - he’s The Source after all - and there is no future for them as a couple or a family (with the sisters and Leo) if they’re evil. As Cole rightfully said in Bride and Gloom, there is no such thing as evil love. Watching Phoebe go through this emotional struggle is heart-breaking to watch, but also compelling. It’s the first time we really see a sister come up against this kind of emotional and moral dilemma which is so huge that the word ‘dilemma’ seems too light a word to use.

Obviously Phoebe is the central focus of this episode, but it’s also very interesting in regards to Piper and Paige and the dynamics between the sisters. Piper’s pessimism stands in contrast to Paige’s determination, and for a lot of fans Piper’s reaction can actually come as a bit of a shock. Personally, before watching the episode if someone had asked me how Piper would react in this situation I would’ve said that she would do whatever it took to get Phoebe back and wouldn’t stop until she did. However, knowing how she does react and having had plenty of years to reflect on it, I completely understand her reaction and it’s perfectly fitting for her to react that way under the circumstances. Prue’s death was the biggest trauma in Piper’s life and although outwardly by this point she seems completely fine, this episode is just another reminder that that pain is still with her. Just as we see Phoebe struggle with the transition from youngest to middle sister, Piper struggles with the transition from middle to eldest sister, and in a way, the transition Piper has to undergo is more difficult. Piper is practically the opposite to Prue; she’s not a natural leader, she’s not very pragmatic, she’s not commanding and when it comes to the sisterhood (particularly as witches) in seasons 1-3 she takes a much more passive position within the trio. So for her to lose Prue, who was her strength and her security, and then to actually have to become her was incredibly difficult for her to deal with. The scene where she’s drunk in P3 demonstrates how she feels she’s failed in her role as the eldest sister and although she doesn’t explicitly say it, the subtext almost says, “This would’ve never happened if Prue was still here”. She feels that she’s failed Phoebe by not being the best big sister she could be and it reflects that insecurity she has that she’s not capable of being the responsible big sister and that she’s not fit to fulfil the role Prue once did so well. So her pessimism towards Phoebe may come across at first as resentment for choosing Cole over her family (I don’t doubt some part of it is), but in reality, it’s her own self-loathing coming out side-wards. She hates herself for allowing Phoebe to go to the place she does but instead of admitting that, she projects that onto Phoebe and it comes out as anger. And there’s also the fact that she is most likely devastated because she feels that she’s lost yet another sister. Unfortunately, there’s not really a solid resolution in this episode for Piper’s feelings. Phoebe choosing to vanquish Cole to save her, Paige and Leo ends Phoebe’s reign as Queen, but it doesn’t solve this underlying insecurity and uncertainty Piper has about being the eldest sister. Nonetheless, it’s interesting to see how Phoebe’s stint as the Queen impacts Piper.

As for Paige, this episode just reaffirms how much I love her. This is a young woman who was thrust into a world of magic completely out of the blue and had to learn the craft and attempt to fit in with the sisters and develop a relationship with them organically, without treading on Prue’s toes and giving them the space to grieve her and then this awful thing happens with Phoebe becoming the Queen of the Underworld all she cares about is helping Phoebe and Piper. She never once shows any fear, she fights to remain positive and chooses to believe that Phoebe still has enough goodness inside her and love for her family that she can be saved. In the face of Piper’s emotional downward spiral, she stays strong, saves the innocent (by herself, might I add), picks Piper back up and encourages her to fight for Phoebe with her. Paige is truly a hero in this episode and her strength and determination is overlooked because the focus is primarily on Phoebe. But this episode is just more proof of how awesome Paige is and how much the sisters need her.

Returning to Phoebe and Cole who are obviously at the centre of this episode, nothing really compares to those final scenes where Phoebe says the vanquishing spell and kills Cole. It’s shocking, it’s heartbreaking, it’s a relief; it’s just so damn emotional. Nothing shows the strength of Phoebe’s character than that moment, and weirdly, in my opinion, no other moment shows the strength of the love Phoebe and Cole have than in that moment and this episode as a whole. These are two people that are not themselves (Cole is possessed by The Source and Phoebe is under the influence of The Source’s spawn) and yet their love is powerful enough to overcome all of the evil that is taking them over from the inside to be together. In reality, Cole should’ve killed Phoebe a long time ago when he was first possessed by The Source, but his love for her is so strong that he can’t. And Phoebe, despite knowing from the second she makes the choice to be with Cole that it’s wrong, makes her decision out of love. It may be wrong, it may be unhealthy, but once again, I don’t judge Phoebe and I think that some fans judge her decisions and actions too harshly in this situation. This is also where I have a slight problem with Piper’s reaction, because her belief is that Phoebe is delusional for choosing Cole because she should’ve chosen her family point blank, end of story. But it’s not that black and white and I’ve always thought that if Piper had been in the same situation, she would’ve done exactly what Phoebe did. Piper prioritises Leo above her sisters so many times because he is her husband and the man she loves, and because of how much she loves Leo I always felt that she should’ve been slightly more understanding. Phoebe didn’t choose The Source, she chose Cole.

Back to the point, this episode is one of the most emotional and memorable in the series. It explores some very heavy issues regarding good vs evil, love vs family, duty vs loyalty and choice vs conscience. And the very last scene with the sisters comforting Phoebe is by far one of the simplest yet touching scenes and sister moments across the series. It encapsulates every bit of emotion from the episode in just a 2-3 minute scene without even a word of dialogue and I love it.

And that brings me to the end of my favourite season 4 episodes. I know this was quite a lot longer than seasons 1-3, but that’s because season 4 is my favourite season so I have lots more to say about it. Like any long-term Charmed fan, my favourite season has changed over the years, but season 4 has always been near the top because it’s the best season in terms of character development and arcs. All three of the sisters have fantastic, coherent character arcs and the transition from the original trio to the new trio is organic, and despite the heartbreak of Prue’s death, it’s actually refreshing and enjoyable to watch. It’s a rare thing that I’m able to watch a show after the death of my favourite character and still find enjoyment, and embrace the change of tone and pace, but with Charmed, I really do. Admittedly, the Cole/Phoebe plot gets a little too much focus towards the end of the season which is slightly detrimental to the season overall, but it doesn’t take away from the brilliance of the season in overall. Beyond the character development this season far and above has some of the most memorable scenes and episodes of the season - the whole of Charmed Again and Hell Hath No Fury, Cole’s vanquish, the face-off with the Source and Phoebe becoming the Queen of the Underworld - whether you like it or hate it, few people can deny that those are the scenes that stick with us most for how powerful and emotional they are.

As always, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed hearing my thoughts and feel free to share yours with me. The next post will be my favourite season 5 episodes which is currently my second favourite season so once again you can expect lots of analysis.

#charmed #mine #my meta #charmed meta #favecharmedeps #text post #this will likely be the longest post #s5 will be long-ish #and then after that seasons 6-8 will be VERY short because i don't really have any fave eps from the later seasons

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