#but its so much easier to just be like. well these are not the actual exact words they were saying. they were not speaking english
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hiii!!! loving your locket comics!!!!!! just wanted to ask a few questions about your process, if you dont mind :D
whats your general process like?
do you do thumbnails, how do they look like?
roughly how long does it take you to complete a comic panel or page?
how detailed are your sketches? do you do multiple?
do you have any specific techniques for lineart?
do you typically use references for your comics?
generally, how much effort and focus do you put into your comics?
do you have any advice for drawing comics?
sorry for for the absolute bombardment of questions, lmao. just really enjoy your art and comics and very interested in the behind the scenes!! feel free to skip any questions (or this whole ask) well wishes and salutations!!! :D
Hello! I'm so glad you enjoy my comics, and I totally don't mind breaking down the process!
For a normal comic page, I would likely actually write a script since it's much easier to keep track of dialogue and actions. But since these are short, I just write it into my thumbnails.
Step 1: Thumbnails. Easily one of my favorite parts, since I get to throw all my ideas down. I do these comics on a 2-panel grid, so I don't have to worry about actual paneling, and it allows me to focus more on the setup of each shot. Think of it like storyboarding!
Step 2: Add cleaner thumbs if needed. I actually made 3D models of Deadlock and Ratchet's chest in Blockbench, so I often trace them to save myself some time! (It might look insane, but I promise, for me, it's not.)
Step 3: Lettering! I actually like to get the lettering out of the way right away since it can take a while. Ever since I started treating lettering as its own form of art, my skills have gotten better, but it also takes much longer.
Step 4: Clean sketch! I'm just now finding out that people think Iâm doing lineart for these? I am not⌠these are all just clean sketches. Maybe doing the blackwork gives the illusion of lineart?
Step 5: Color! Most of these comics are in black and white to save time, but it also lets me focus on values and shot framing again. I add my glow overlay to the eyes, and boom, done!
Roughly how long does it take you to complete a comic panel or page?
It really depends on how complicated the panels are. I like to step out of my comfort zone. I know the Grimlock and Misfire one took longer because of how many panels there were and the fact that I was drawing characters Iâd never drawn before, but Iâd say it usually takes around 5-8 hours for a whole page.
Do you typically use references for your comics?
I'm literally the reference GOD- we all know this. But yes, I love using references and doing character studies. I have yet to do a study on LL Drift, but I have a few references of him that Iâve made.
Generally, how much effort and focus do you put into your comics?
I mean, I wouldn't say I don't put in a lot of effort? I put in enough. I don't know⌠there's a point in the clean sketch process where you can kind of just turn off your brain. I'm passionate about comics, but we can all agree there's a point in a drawing where you just zone out.
Do you have any advice for drawing comics?
I think being able to balance dialogue and visuals is super important. I don't know if you guys have picked up a graphic novel from Barnes & Noble recently, but if you open a page, you'll see a character sitting with the biggest bubble you've ever seen, filled with paragraphs of text. While I get it���being a novel as much as it's graphicâI personally like to visualize emotions more. If it means adding two more panels to make an interesting dialogue setup, I don't mind doing it. Another thing to remember is that not all panels need to have details or 100% effort. Sometimes you need to simplify and move on, and that's okay! Those two extra panels that are giving you a better stage setup might be the ones that need fewer details and less time. I would consider my comic page work and my 4-panel work very different. One is about paneling, setup, and visuals, while the other is very much like storyboarding. Both are skills you learn with practice and study.
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chapter twenty three: serious route
please read the chapter 23 nav before you read!!!
disclaimer: don't perceive this. i don't really like to make written chapters but i thought i'd pay tribute to my og queen (2021 starlight) and try to redeem her. i'd rather you read route 2
warnings: kidnapping, forced unconsciousness
you woke up in a daze. it was unlike the last time you woke up in a foreign settingâ markâs guest room at 3am was starting to sound a lot more pleasant than you rememberedâ but this time you were slumped over, seated on a tree stump in the middle of the forest. the sky was pitch black with only a small fire and a few flashlights illuminating the area.
across the bonfire, you saw three figures talking lowly. you were paralyzed, recognizing one of the people to be eric.Â
mind racing, you tried to think of the best possible escape route but upon shifting slightly, the pressure on your ankles indicated that your feet were bound together with rope.
âhow long is she out for?â one of the voices asked, causing you to freeze. feigning unconsciousness was probably the best way to keep attention off of you, though you werenât sure if you could keep the act up due to your full body shaking in fear.
âhow the hell would i know. i just found out last week that i could even make people fall asleep.â a slightly deeper voice replied.
âwell, letâs just hope she doesnât wake up. makes things easier for us in negotiation.â you recognized the last voice to be eric, though it wasnât surprising to you that he brought you there.
âshit- i think sheâs awake. i hear her heart rate getting faster.â the first vampire commented. your stomach dropped immediately.
âyou can hear fucking heartbeats?â eric asked incredulously, earning a punch on the shoulder from the other vampire.
âwe all can if you focus, idiot.���
as they began bickering, you prayed they somehow forgot about you. eyes still closed, you hadnât realized you shut them tighter as the first boy approached you.
âyn?â he said softly, catching you off guard. there was no malice in his tone. it was a completely different attitude than what you were expecting, especially after the run-in with sunwoo.
you opened an eye slightly to see your captor. he looked to be about your age as well. though knowing he was a vampire, that didnât do much to help you. his friendly smile and round glasses caused him to look more unassuming than you thought he would, but you kept your guard up.
he let out a genuine chuckle at your attempt to crack your eye open without making it obvious you were awake.
âi know youâre awake.â he took a step closer, instinctively causing you to lean back, though you noticed he kept a respectful distance, âiâm sorry about all this. iâm changmin.â
âi know this looks bad but i promise weâre not gonna hurt you, we just need to,,â changmin paused to chose his words carefully. âuse you as leverage for lack of a better explanation.â
you battled with the instinct lingering in your mind to trust him, âwhy kidnap me again? sunwoo already tried and it didnât work.â
âbecause sunwooâs a dumbass who hasnât practiced self restraint a single day in his life-â the boy previously bickering with eric yelled from behind changmin.
âjuyeon, shut the hell up, would you?â changmin tossed his complaint over his shoulder before turning back to you, âweâre doing what sunwoo should have done. he shouldnât have taken it as far as he did. but as of right, we believe this is the only way for us to negotiate.â
âyouâre a vampire now so i would hope you understand where weâre coming from,â ericâs tone was not as friendly as changmin, yet still sincere, âthis deal we have with them- itâs a restriction that doesnât do us any favor. weâre just trying to get them to let up on how much blood we can take from humans each month. its ridiculous.â
âthis animal shit- itâs so fucking stupid. weâre vampires. they can take their moral high ground, but they canât deny what we actually need.â juyeon added on.
âisnât the agreement in place mainly so we donât get found out?â you wish your voice came out stronger than it actually sounded, the slight shake in your voice giving you away.
âso? who cares. anyone who finds us out wonât know for much longer.â eric shrugged casually, sending a chill down your spine. for a moment, hearing them converse and bicker gave them a sense of humanity though they were your captors, but ericâs indifference toward the weight of a human life reminded you just how different you truly were.Â
âanyways. yn, your friends are going to be showing up soon,â changmin changed the subject and redirected his focus back on you, âwe might make threats toward you, just know weâre not actually going to hurt you. we just need to scare them. no promises about not harming the guys though.â
ânow why would you tell her that? sheâs gonna tell them sheâs okay.â eric retaliated.Â
if the adrenaline in your system wasnât so high, you wouldâve found the nerve to actually be annoyed at their constant back and forth. but you didnât have that much time to think about it before juyeon was muttering some insult at eric and walking over to you.
with one wave over your head, you were back out of it, slumping back down.
_______
it wasnât long after your short moment of consciousness that the boys had found the location sent to them by juyeon. jeno was the only one to have stayed behind, keeping an eye out for chaeryoung as a precaution.
when they arrived to the scene, they were met with the looming figures of eric, changmin, and juyeon standing over the bonfire. eric held your slumped body close, making it clear that they had the advantage
seeing you like this for the second time caused renjun to step out, calling your name. mark had to reach out his arm to stop him from escalating anything too quickly, as eric made a show of tightening his hold upon renjunâs approach. this was sick.
they slowly approached them, closing the distance so they could talk.
âyou brought us here to make compromises.â mark called out, keeping his tone neutral. âwhereâs your leader then?â
juyeon scoffed, glaring at the six. âthis isnât a compromise. we want this whole thing dropped.â he corrected.
âsangyeonâs the only one of you who can make that call.â the edge on markâs voice was intimidating, but it didnât phase the opposing team.
âi think youâre forgetting who we have here.â eric spoke up to defend his friend with a laugh, but it only caused donghyuck to scoff at the act.
âi think youâre forgetting youâre outnumbered, dumbass.â donghyuck mocked, causing eric to step forward in retaliation, briefly forgetting about his grasp on you.Â
renjun and jisung quickly took that opportunity catch him off guard. with his grip on you loosened, renjun pulled you away while jisung distracted eric. this action erupted a fight out of the rest of the boys; mark, hyuck, and jaemin moving to keep juyeon and changmin away from you.
it was less of a fight, more of a tussle, when renjun extracted you from the scene. it luckily couldnât escalate into anything serious when a deep shout could be heard several feet away from the area.
the sound of the voice immediately sent the three boys into a halt, as if they had just been commanded to freeze.
âwhat the hell do you think youâre doing?â the words grew distinguishable as the owner of the voice emerged from the trees. it was none other than lee sangyeon himself, as mark was smart enough to shoot him the location his own boys had sent them.
eric, juyeon, and changmin all looked at each other, expecting someone to speak up. their previously serious demeanor had a complete 180. they all looked like children caught red-handed.
âhelping you?â juyeon was the first to break their silence, âsangyeon, youâve been working yourself to death these last few months. the least we could do was resolve this issue for you.â
the firm look in sangyeonâs eyes almost dissipated at the sentiment, but he stood his ground with crossed arms.
âand how exactly would kidnapping their friend resolve any kinds of issues with them?â he almost laughed at the stupidity of it all.
âwe were never gonna hurt her! we just needed to negotiate-â changmin defended their plan, earning a gasp from jaemin, âanyways, we wanted to alleviate your stress with the negotiation so taking care of it ourselves was our best optionâÂ
their leader sighed. his lips parted, attempting to string together what he wanted to say before finally speaking up, âthat's not why iâve been busy.â
âits not? why do you get so touchy everytime its brought up?â eric pushed back.
âweâre moving. iâve been trying to find a city without a large vampire presence so we donât butt heads like this.â he referenced the silent group of boys just observing the dispute; unnecessarily pulled into this shit. âthatâs why iâve been stressed. no other reason.â
he turned to all of you. âiâm sorry about them. you can have my word this time that this will never happen again. i shouldâve kept them in the loop.â
sangyeon nodded and guided the boys out of the forest, leaving the rest of you slightly baffled and annoyed in his wake, though you, of course, were still yet to wake up.
âwell that was pointless.â chenle barked out a frustrated laugh, almost amused at how unnecessary that all was.
âand they never even apologized.â hyuck rolled his eyes, beginning their own trek out of the forest. âhere in the middle of nowhere for nothing. fucking idiots.â
âat least ynâs safe.â mark tried to sympathize to avoid escalating their emotions, âletâs just get the hell out of here.
âdonât have to tell me twice,â hyuck called out, already a few feet ahead of everyone else.
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maraudersâ laughter headcanons:Â
- sirius sometimes bites down on his fist to not laugh as loudlyâ remus does this as well, but itâs more of him hiding his smile behind his fist so no one knows heâs laughing/smiling (which is a little pointless anyway because the ends of his eyes crinkle up easier than everyone elseâs)
- remus probably giggles a little. i can imagine first year him laughing with the other boys while recovering from a particularly bad full moon and heâs just. So shy but its so so cuteÂ
- on the other hand⌠once he's more comfortable with them, he starts to laugh a little more openly when it comes to dirty jokes and stuff (and thatâs just how it starts)
- i wouldnât say any one of them has particularly infectious laughter, but when remus starts laughing i think things just feel especially lighter for all 4 of them and it doesnât matter how hard they were laughing beforeâ when remus truly loses it their laughter automatically becomes so much more genuine and gigglier (and synchronised! idk why i see that happening but i do)Â
- and also i kinda think remus has the kind of laughter that not everyone can remember
- does that make sense? like it's really easy to recall the sound of james' laughter but not remus. it's like you remember seeing him laugh but never what it sounds like. unless you're jamesorsiriusorpeter of course.
- i think sirius and remus both have a little bit of a rasp in their laughs. itâs usually remus but sirius occasionally has it too. james kindaaa does too but itâs more of him sounding a little bit hoarse when heâs laughed too much and/or too hard.Â
- i think sirius always looked a little surprised whenever he found something funny that wasnât a joke made by james
- not like in a bad way but his eyebrows will just be a little raised as he starts laughingÂ
- also not in a mean way he just looks a little caught off guard, thatâs all. almost as though he doesnât expect anyone outside of the marauders to actually be funny.Â
- i also have this hc thatâs a little stupid but i think the first time lily evans made sirius black laugh was the very same day his opinion of her changed acutely. like he probably walked in on james and lily hanging out or whatever and tried to pull james away when lily made a completely dry/witty comment that just caught him by surprise and he started laughing before he processed anything
- and i think he was impressed enough that he left them alone that day but yeah whatever itâs just a silly concept i like to believe and think about at times
- i think peter would have the most⌠normal laughter out of all four of them (for lack of a better word, really)Â
- but heâs also the one that sends everyone back into a laughing fit if they so much as make eye contact with him/glance at him
- i think james probably giggles too (just like remus)â but i think his laughter has a tendency to evolve from loud guffaws with sirius to like⌠laughter where you're laughing so hard it's silent. giggles are just his default version of genuine laughter.Â
- and also i BET remus and james had those silent laughing fits together so so much
- and that whenever james and pete laugh together they probably have their faces in their hands while their shoulders just shake violently and in sync
- also james is SO touchy when he laughs. he has this tendency of holding onto some part of the other person while he laughs and this eventually gets passed onto sirius and by 4th year, 80% of their laughing fits would just be them holding onto each other for dear life as they rolled about wherever.Â
- also i think james had a tendency to have a like⌠roaring kind of laughter whenever someone outside the marauders said something funny, but it would be more of a hoarse/giggly kind of laugh when its his favourites being funny
- i feel like all in all the marauders probably start off laughing really loudly together before naturally progressing into silent shaking laughter and thatâs like, their peak, yk?Â
- but also part of the reason why they seem so exclusive sometimes is because of the way they can be laughing SO HARD together while being completely silentÂ
- so theyâre just likeâ thumping on each othersâ backs and wiggling around in their seats and rolling about the ground while no one has a clue about what they're laughing about or when they startedÂ
- also this isn't really laughter related but i genuinely do believe that not a single one of the marauders were stupid or slow. i think they were all really intelligent and even pete (who was canonically hanging onto james and sirius rather than hanging with them), wasnât as dumb as he was made out to be and that he just seemed very average in comparison to them but even then, he wasnât slow (or at least, as slow as a person can be)
- which leads me to my next point which is that although the marauders definitely laughed over a multitude of silly things, they were also quick up to pick up on and make jokes that required a certain level of intelligence and wit to even grasp
- and that basically kinda adds onto their exclusivity thing because not everyoneâs smart enough to get itâ˘Â
- sorry but i really like crediting the marauders for their intelligence and talent like sometimes i think people just donât talk about james and siriusâ intelligence enoughÂ
- okay that's it thanks please donât be mean these are just my opinions and you donât have to agree â¤ď¸
⧠â§Ëâ â ⧠â âšË⧠â§Ëâ â ⧠â âšË⧠â§Ëâ â ⧠â âšË⧠â§Ëâ â ⧠â âšË ⧠â§Ëâ â ⧠â â§
p.s. hi if anyone sees this please give me more things to headcanon bcs i havenât written anything proper in a while but i think i can manage headcanons until the next moon in virgo when i'm ready to post a proper fic again
#lilioopdf#sirius black headcanons#remus lupin headcanons#james potter headcanons#peter pettigrew headcanons#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#peter pettigrew#the marauders#marauders era
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Sight of a Star - Blue-ish Star RyĹshĹŤ and Don Quixote
#HERES HOW BLUE-ISH STAR BELIEVERS CAN STILL WIN I PROMISE#Rendering sucks but I do like how these look very much. I hate drawing armour. big fan of dramatic shadows however.#but! as for justifications:#B-iS is an abno regarding what one so desperately wants but cannot have - possibly connecting to Blue Star and the paradise-like place-#people wish to reach by throwing themselves into it. though what is offered by B-iS is a much less refined yet as tantalising#given the text of 'The irresistible allure is almost tearing you apart' and the less refined bit being implied by both design#[jagged edges of the actual blue shape and legs like dolls - both unlike BS' much rounder and more naturalistic design]#in short it's the manifestation of impossible dreams - for Don this is her quest for a just knighthood in the City of all places#and for RyĹshĹŤ [though idk her source] it is her final work of art - the Hell Screen#when approached one's body is 'pushed away' as if a manifestation of how it is unachievable. at least it is for them#'To be truly blue the one with the true blue must be left alone in oneâs blueness.'#is what I interpret as: 'to truly dream the dreamer must be left to one's fantasies'#dreams by nature do not intersect well with reality. all their flaws will be shown and they will crack under the pressure of the real world#it is why the dream pushes them away. to preserve itself. also probably has something to do with how DQ also has void dream#and this abno gives pride boosts in its event. and I personally see pride as a sort of 'self assurance' or 'self above others' so to speak#as to chase ones dreams one must think themselves the exception. as the one that can persevere over the City#plus the HP damage and the various juxtapositions in the 'forward' option may be in reference to how dreams and reality don't mix.#harming those who chase them. though all the same the 'backwards' option shows that simply tossing them aside shall hurt in its own way#to think oneself 'impure' enough to give up on chasing it is all the same resignation on your uniqueness#as for the gift: the name is possibly to do with how lower stars seem easier to reach. and the effect of damage at minus SP....#going insane dream chasing?#but to take ones leave allows for it to be left behind without any further effects. you did not look at your dreams. acknowledge them at al#but are you better off like that? not dreaming? forgetting that brilliantly unfinished star?#but anyways I hope you liked my rambles. also this abno and everything related to Blue Star is so tastefully C flavoured that I love them#and fun fact! when I was first generally mapping sinners to unfightable/EGOless abnos I entirely forgot RyĹshĹŤ somehow. which led to this.#they don't have weapons they just kick real hard and it works well enough#limbus company#ryĹshĹŤ lcb#don quixote lcb#đ đŹ
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experimentin w shit heehee
#fake peppino#arts#mine#horror#eye strain#guh#body horror#a lil tho but i just think thats a more commonly blacklisted tag than 'horror'#spooky month is the only time im like. i guess i should TRY to draw spooky shit#i always feel like my style is too loose and roumnd to convey it in the way i want to#but spooky month is like okay u can fuck around and fuck up and itll still be good. the spirit of spookyness n all that#i love horror so much but it feels so hard to grasp. like what is ACTUALLY scary yknow?#its very easy to say whats not scary but then its also so hard to stop urself from doing the same things lol#to be fair. stories and 'motion' (through the use of comics or animations) are far easier ways to convey things like suspense n stuff#still art is like. well that is an image alright lol#not entirely true tho; theres an artist i dont know the name of that did trailcam images that were photorealistic#and theyre sooooooooo fuckin creepy#like when i get around to doing more fp art i wanna use that and the lighting in it as practice#okay thats it i think; gonna draw furry shit bc i need comms yay yippeeeeeee
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it's meant to be the happy time of year - c!tommy + if we make it through december (phoebe bridgers cover)
âď¸ / âď¸ / âď¸ / âď¸ / âď¸ / âď¸ / âď¸ / âď¸
#mine#tommyinnit#web weaving#dsmp#dsmp web weave#had to dig through the vods for this and felt myself actually seething at the fact they did this in a PRAIRIE#the song fits really well regardless but exile would have been SO much more atmospheric if it had been somewhere snowy#<- my opinion dont come after me i like the beacj vibes too but come on!!#also just easier for me the poor web weaver why didnt they think of ME#was gonna leave this for when i have more time but its ctommy day so I had to....#im ngl posting this when ctommy would have turned 20 has me feeling some type of way#like to me its yeah he DID make it thru december he got out he got himself out and now he is fine... maybe not in canon but#in MY head and my heart he is happy or becoming happy#idk maybe im just trying to excuse the fact that im posting a webweave abt december & winter in july#also ALSO#i knowww this would look so much cooler in audio visual format but unfortunately i cant edit and i certainly cant draw BUT im gonna try to#learn editing this summer and this will be my first project <3 so stay tuned if ur into that
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Everyday i wake up and think abouthow sad i am that lestat the musical is objectively a horrible musical because i really do think interview with the vampire would probably make the best musical ever
#TO ME#interview with the vampire#iwtv#the vampire lestat#lestat the musical#okay but like litterally the structure of the story would be perfect for a musical#perfect two act structure#the interview framing device would work SO WELL#a play is also like the only place i think you can actually do book accurate armand#because its theater so you can just have short women and youngish theater twinks play him#claudia works WAY easier in a play for pretty much the same reason of suspension of disbelief being different#like in a play all that works so much easier#or like anne rice style oppulance and sensuality would work amazingly in a broadway style production#literally you cant tell me it doesnt also have the exact same audience as the longest running show on broadway phantom of the opera#JUST THINK ABOUT THE THEATER ACTORS PLAYING VAMPIRES PLAYING THEATER ACTORS PLAYING VAMPIRES#it would specifically be my favorite thing ever#i just think theater is actually the only place you can truly make annes vision come to life#god how i long for lestat de lioncourt to sing showtunes to me
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starchaser, sunseeker
#jegulus#jegulus fanart#regulus black#james potter#james x regulus#marauders#hp#i hate tagging things so much#im screaming#my art#anyway i bought a drawing tablet and immediately did some art#it is so much easier than on my laptop its honestly amazing#i am still self conscious af about my art haha#regulus arm looks so weird but this is actually anatomically correct for some reason like thats with photo reference and i am confused#maybe the photo wasnt anatomically correct who knows#i definitely havent figureed out yet how light works but yolo#oops i just noticed i put the converse star on the wrong side of the shoe#it should be on the inside not the outside#here i an wearing red converse all the time and still cant remember#oh well yolo²#i might fix it at some point
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fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#sure whatever. tagging ship is probably easier than explaining what the fucks up with these two in my head#hi. I watched sk8 with my friend cosme a while ago. I actually dont care about the allegations that much I just got#blasted with teenage years flashback. and now I need reki to have everything on earth and be well#these have been around for like a week lol Ive just been debating posting them to tumblr. bc like. Im not finishing these lol#hesitant to call sk8 ''therapeutic'' but boy oh boy. does it make me confront some stuff. yes a sport anime leave me alone!!!#its just. I think I was this way about raz too actually. listen I have History with Stuff. I'm allowed ok? I'm totally allowed#u can See it in some of these doodles actually. this fuckign anime got me so unwell#hey. if ur a fellow adhd potentials-havers out there. ur a real one. thanks for still hangin out doin what u love/ur best#if u were an 'if u wanna do art u have to be excellent and high-art at it otherwise it means nothing' kid. I am holding ur hand#I'll be normal now I prommy (lying)#well. what I'll be doing now is taking a nap. maybe. gods my schedule backslid like four hours again#eh whatever. I go to bed anyway. got my portion of the day done and tomorrow I go buy new knife#hope someone come give me a new table top and lower the whole thing a bit soon. so I can stop sitting like Im in a shopping cart#have a good night lads. have fun. its imperative
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad đ
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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*sits up in the middle of the night* in this next universe where vampires seem to have taken over the world, marceline probably either never met simon or he died soon after they met, which means that since her mom also died when she was really young (too young to remember a lot about her i bet), she most likely raised herself completely alone through the apocalypse and never really learned about Morals which is how after getting bitten she joined the vampires and, became evil i guess. we see that even with simons good influence in her formative years she went through a rough path after getting bitten so it would make sense that shed turn out nasty if it wasnt for him. she is part demon. we just saw an universe where simon lost marcy and was fucked up and now we're gonna see one where marcy lost simon and became fucked up
#thinking about the flashback in the ep simon petrikov where hes like#''youd be fine if you didnt meet me better even. as for me...''#itd be so so cool if the show showed us that actually she Wouldnt be fine. they both needed each other to keep their sanity and morals#during the apocalypse#like itd be neat#this isnt me saying marceline is naturally an evil person shes literally my favorite character im just saying that like#if ur a child in a post apocalyptic landscape that didnt have anyone to teach you what morals are#aside from ur mom who died when u were like 5#youd probably turn out a bit fucked up too. like look at bonnie lol#im jusy using ''evil'' as a descriptive bc its easier and also we havebt actually seen this marcy so i cant speak much on her personality#but at characters arent usually that 2d#also we literally see simon being the one to teach marceline morals. Vandalism Is Wrong Marcy#and we see her having demon instincts- the wazzup dog in obsidian#i always thought that demon and vampire prolly didnt mix up well and she had to work a Lot to get to the level of stability and ethics that#she is now#so im excited to see a world where she had no reason to work on that skfhsjfhejfhejf#ok im rambling. its 3am and i have to be up in 2 hours help me#adventure time#fionna and cake#watch me be completely wrong when the ep comes out#but thats just a theory... a cartoon theory
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đĄ mad cowboy disease....
#⥠ooc#high noon tbt.#thinking of Them while walking to the shops... on my own little quest...#there may be typos but ignore them#listened through mars hn yone playlist i loved watching the 2 hr movie in my head#listening through my hn playlost now maybe ill make tals a spotofy thing too for easier listening....#got so many little scenes in my head#talon munching any lil bug/lizard critter they catch. whether they actually Need to eat is unspecified#but you know. probably. anyway thinking evilly at how i can describe their meals as either tantalising or DISGusting#talon being afraid of ending up an almalgam of feathers and sludge but ove talked abt that before#need to write more talon monologues or story times#reminiscing now. will add more later#talon trying their best to get through a Normal Human interaction on a bar or smth tryong to hide what they are and keep their hat low but-#and theres always a but- someone either catches a glimpse of theor face n compliments them or gets in theor way like 'hey-' or they catch#a glance at feathers or brimstone....#talon getting chased to be put in one of those carnie 'strange encounters' shows... they either do get caught or...#get rid of their would-be captors#time for more thoughts. i need to design talons demonic form and maybe even what their gradual corruption looked like đ¤#i also need to decide on a few factors abt how im treating their cape as tendrils instead... like if they naturally had 5 or lost one...#and how much control over individual segments they have#thinkin abt talon getting in trouble but not like. threat of death danger maybe a malevolent third party who wants them for something else#be it their blood or feathers or smth like that. maybe even after REDACTED and they get a bounty set by the sulfur king for REDACTED reason#to be brought back alive and hunters go after em......#oh. who can a demon slash half angel turn to in these trying times... đĽşđ not that they want to rely on anyone#talon would rather die than rely on another creature for help. im kidding. :] or am i#thinking abt the thing i said to mars like. after their travels together talon tries to keep their distance from rell and yone but.#fate or something worse keeps bringing them back together. i said it better beforehand but anyway.#if its during this time of being hunted and they cross ways i can imagine talon not staying long at all or just turning 180 at the sight#part the fear the other two will join this hunt as well. the other part is that theyll be in danger if talon asks for help...#nor do they want to owe a debt to these two ough đ
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More misc. daily life pictures and such
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1 & 2 - Very bright pretty looking sky !#2. HUGE icicle that looked like you could kill someone with it or something.. Pulled from near a gutter on the side of a building#3. & 4 & 5 - various images from a silly party I had where I pretended to be some elf king turning like 204 years old lol (also not like#a REAL party. Only my roommates were there really and we're all in the same household bubble.#just to clarify. I would never dare have a large party anyway given#my hermitous nature but on top of that.. didn't want there to be some implication that I'm having a Party while covid is still ongoing lol.#NEVER.. But I do love dressing up as some fantasy character so much.. The only thing that could ever bring a true hermit wizard#to engage with others socially is the prospect of connecting it somehow to fantasy worlds and costumes lol. One must simply dress up#as a silly 200 year old man from time to time and pretend you've never seen a balloon before in your life. etc.#6. bapy boye... feets#7. The main food that I made for the elderly elf man 'party'. which was a Deconstructed Beef Wellington (kind of as ajoke since I watch s#o many silly cooking competition shows and they always make stuff 'deconstructed' at the last minute when under time limits or whatever.)#I've wanted to make beef wellington a few times but Ithink to do it well I'd need like..an actual kitchen and a lot of time and#an oven that fully works to bake things and etc. etc. So I thought this would be an easier method. A thick steak cut round to kind of mimi#c the round tenderloin or whatever it is in a wellington. instead of the puff pastry being wrapped around - I just did star shaped cut outs#of pastry and baked them and put them on top (to go with the star theme). instead of mushroom duxelles being wrapped around in pastry#its in a little circle under the steak. and instead of mustard being brushed onto the meat I made a mustard gravy sauce type of thing#Then of course asparagus on the side.. my favorite... Though I know some wellington#also has a layer of prosciutto I think. or I saw one person use crepes. I didn't feel it was necessary to incorporate that too lol#8. bapy son helping me do a giant puzzle that took me hours and I had no idea it was actually that large of a puzzle#until I started putting it together and for some reason it made me stressed by the end instead of relaxed lol.. puzzle fatigue#photo diary
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getting distracted but i have important work to do again :(
#its so much#and i hate it#i dont want to do this stupid group project anymore#it has taken full days from me#and were not even halfway there#and i feel like my contributions are mediocre at best#and i feel so bad about it bc i want the people in the group to get a good grade#and the people im with are friendly sure#but as lonely as i am id really rather not#im in another group project as well#but its a way smaller one#and a topic i care about#so that one is a lot easier#i just want to not do it so bad#but i have to bc i cant do that to the group#:(( i could be working on my final project rn#which is actually fun and interesting#and i barely have any time for it#mine
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying đŤś#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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sorry 4 drawing him smoking so much. take care of ur lungs. inhalers are in now.
#no this isnt a practical way to hold an inhaler i dont care. its about the habit breaking. jesse quits smoking and has asthma etc etc#breaking bad#brba#breaking bad fanart#jesse pinkman#asthma#brba fanart#art tag#fan art#digital art#loving doing these painty colors. i am actually having so much fun coloring things like skin? which is never fun. but i may have cracked it#trick is just adding whatever fucking colors in there. (hint: this is my trick for all colors)#kidding it is actual color theory tying in the main colors into skin undertones and highlights and shit. or something idk#but i struggle doing it digitally. well i jsut have to pretend its paint and boom i can actually do it easier
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