#i dont actively want to
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People really don't talk enough about how it feels to passively want to die all the time.
#i dont actively want to#i wont do anything to make it happen#i wanna live#but also i wanna just sink into a black void and float in nothingness for a while#personal#tmi#suicide tw#self harm tw#self depreciation tw
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little bee and ratchet from 10 years ago,...
#ratchet#tfa ratchet#bumblebee#tfa bumblebee#SNIFFLES#UGH THEYRE SO CUTE#tfa#transformers animated#transformers#IDK IF THEY WOULDVE KNOWN EACH OTHER EARLIER IN THIS AU..#jus wanted to draw it cos i thought it was cute...#ratchet seeing the same little kid he saw 10 years ago now actively fighting in the same war as him#“bee what r u doing here u should be doing highschool algerbra” 😭😭#i dont think they wouldve known each other#maybe he got lost one day and ratchet helped bring him back...#idk...#ratchet meeting bee again and realizing that this horrible kid somehow got worse LOOOL#maybe bee doesnt remember him#but ratchet remembers bee#but he pretends like they dont know each other because he doesnt want to get close#UGUGURHGHG#IM BASHING MY HEAD INTO A WALL
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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I think I made some of you guys a little sad with my last post, so you can have some happy aftermath twins before part 2, as a treat ❤️
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#my art#gravity falls#gravity falls au#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#gravity falls fanart#stan pines#stanley pines#grunkle stan#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#stan twins#i need to find a gravity falls discord or smth- it's basically a ritual for me with every fandom#i tried to find some on the internet but they're so... rude?? maybe it's just me but i dont think#openly cussing people out and insulting the people who want to leave the server is a very “positive and open” server they claimed to be#which was so crazy because Ive never seen a discord server be like that?? like usually they're pretty chill but these ones like actively#called people bitches and lame assholes after they left the server like CHILL my man- they're allowed to Not stay#it wasnt even just one- I had to go through like 4 to 5 different GF servers and they were all like that- it was CRAZY#anyways!! that was just me rambling it was just such a weird experience for me#GOD I am PLAGUED by thoughts of this AU
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“lilith got charlie in the divorce” “lucifer got charlie in the divorce” actually alastor got her
#update:#yall had your fun but i dont want a post this big#RIP MY ACTIVITY FEED FR#I DONT EVEN LIKE THIS SHOW LIKE ITS NOT EVEN GOOD#HE DIESNT EVEN LIKE KIDS??? HELP. IMAGINE GOING TO HELL FOR SERIAL MURDER AND NOW YOURE JUST BEING PETTY LIKE THAT#like i have a LOT of criticisms for this show but this one joke really got me holy shit.
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If you're only commenting on a fic to ask for an update or worse, to be passive-aggressive about wanting an update, then please do both yourself and the writer a favor and don't comment at all.
Saying things like "Can't wait for the next update!" as part of a comment about how you enjoyed the chapter is one thing, but just going into the comments and being like "Where's the update?" or "You haven't finished writing the next chapter yet?" or something similar is not only rude, but also I ASSURE you it only serves to make the writer anxious about writing at all.
Fic writers are not content creators. We're not robots. We're real people with careers, families, and other irl responsibilities. Writing is something I do in my thirty minutes before I go to bed to wind down from the day. Whatever I want to write that evening is what ends up getting written.
So by making me anxious and putting pressure on me to update a fic, especially in that passive-aggressive way that so many people do, all you've ensured is that when I open up my folder that evening to see what I feel like writing, my eyes will completely skip over that WIP that I got the rude comment on that day because I Feel Bad about it and now I don't want to even look at it.
So please, just follow the golden rule of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
#i have a few fics that every few months get a comment like this#it really just sets me off from even attempting to go back to them#actually rn I have them yeeted in a different folder because I just get so anxious just looking at their titles#I honestly am close to straight up deleting one of them off ao3#because every other time I get a notif that someone commented on it#all the comment is is some passive aggressive BS about wanting an update#it makes me just...not want to read any comments on that fic#i really dont mind people gently nudging updates on fics that i'm actively updating#because like i said i have a life outside of this#and sometimes i genuinely don't realize that it's been 5 months since a fic has been updated#but like just don't be passive aggressive about it#fanfiction#ao3#danny phantom#yes im tagging the phandom i write for because apparently some of u need to read this
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something people just don’t think about is how often chronically ill and disabled people just don’t have access to good food. not healthy food, good food; well made, tasty meals that don’t come from a jar or a freezer. how many of us are housebound or can’t drive? delivery services only offer within certain distances, if you live outside a city they aren’t an option. many people don’t have the energy or ability to cook for themselves if they have the skill to begin with. many certainly don’t have the ability to learn how. it’s something that goes completely unnoticed, just the opportunity to have a good meal and how much that wears you down
#all i want is chinese food#the closest one to me is 40 minutes away and its a /bad/ chinese place#its my worst option and its not even an option#‘fried rice is easy to make heres a recipe!’#i cant use a stove bc the heat will give me a seizure#even if i keep myself cool something that should take 15 minutes will take upwards of an hour bc i need to take breaks#even then ill probably be too nauseous to eat it after being active for so long#all of that for a bad cooks version of fried rice#more expensive and worse than a takeaway place#but i cant get it from a takeaway place#repeat ad nauseum for the rest of my life and is it any wonder im so sick of the same food ive eaten for 10 years#the only time i get takeaway is when my parents decide to go out and bring something home#can you imagine living like that for the rest of your life?#i dont have to#and its so dumb to want to cry over rice#but its not really about the rice is it#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#chronic illness#disability#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#ehlers danlos syndrome#fibromyalgia#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#mental illness#mental health#save post
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okay look, the real reason that zepotha shit is never gonna be Goncharov (besides it being a marketing ploy) is because Goncharov was treated like a fandom (collaborative including celebrities, built upon over time, openly fictional) & zepotha is treated like a tiktok trend (no collaboration, dies fast, treated like reality recklessly). it doesn't matter if it's interesting or cool or what, they've been built on completely different foundations. you're comparing Spiderverse to Endgame here. hydrogen bomb VS coughing baby. zepotha will never have Lynda Carter & Martin Scorsese's approval.
#zepotha#goncharov 1973#goncharov#i know i dont usually tag shit like unreality but like. yeah. the fact they're actively trying to gaslight for real here is just. ehh#like have fun but also. know what youre having fun with#im just really lazy btw i dont want to tag shit. youre allowed to unfollow me because of that i dont care#also yes zepotha not being capitalized (derogatory)
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incredibly messy silly sketch based on this post lol
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#DONT ask me to draw shoes or standing poses or BGs or uhm anything sequential#it will be bad#but i’m trying to force myself to just draw silly things as well since all i think abt is hualian surely this can result in some Art Impro#also if you want to see my stupid AU concepts or other hualian brainworms i am pathetically active on bluesky#hualian#tgcf#hua cheng#xie lian#tgcf fanart#heaven official's blessing#my art#mossymage
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I love the college of winterhold. everyone there is casually deranged and there's like an alarming number of students and staff who threaten you immediately when they meet you. it's always one of the first questlines I do. which makes it even funnier when you get made the arch-mage of the college. I'm level 12 and got through this questline knowing exactly 3 spells. what do you mean you want me to lead the college. this school CANNOT be an accredited institution
#i ask if anyone wants this job and everyone starts whistling and checking their phones#their magic phones. theyre scrolls#mia.txt#tes#skyrim#oh no wait i forgot j'zargo wants the position & actively tries to kill you (these are separate events but still probably not unrelated)#and nirya's gunning for it too. you know what maybe its a good thing im the archmage because im never there and don't do anything#i drop in every few weeks for 10 minutes then leave. the place pretty much runs itself right#reddit says “they have a bullying problem” yeah i know i married him#and he's the new boss' special little princess and he can do whatever he wants forever. call the police about it#dont bring your piddly ass problems to the archmage shes busy girlbossing (committing widescale atrocities)#(yes i know this is just how tamrielic mage guilds are but i just think its funny bc everyone fucking hates them specifically#like the rest of the town despises them and allegedly the nords have a special disdain for magic so its kind of funny that they make no#attempt to like. be more normal to gain the locals' trust#and you know what? good for them. fuck them nords)#ulothir#<- mentioned in the tags lmfao
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hi!! dropping off some of the things i drew on my break so far. ^_^
#☆ my art .#baconnwaffles0#planetlord#mapicc#princezam#wato1876#wemmbu#pangi#eggchan#spokeishere#vitalasy#itzsubz#ashswag#thats all of em i think#spacewaffles#tax duo#ohhhh how i miss them#eclipse federation#ashzam#empire duo#devotion duo#lifesteal smp#unstable universe#lsshipping#this is a mess but i dont feel like organizing it#its just an art dump i guess#i'm feeling better so i just wanted to drop these here#might still be low on activity but i'm definitely doing better#mostly thanks to people from silly time gc hi creatures#a couple of those are uh reqs i remembered i had
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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WOW KEYCHAINS???????????
#hi guys#i got logged out of tumblr for MONTHS even tho i tried to log back in several times and just got access to my account .just now#anyways a lot has happened#ive had a shop for more than a month now!#and just today i opened interest checks for these. (real ones remember that years ago i said i wanted to make these into keychains)#dreams do come true.......#dont really expect me to be very active here yet because . very long time without tumblr . but . hello again!!!#tmnt#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2012 leo#tmnt 2012 michelangelo#tmnt 2012 mikey#ive forgotten how to tag here good lord
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That Good Ol' Fenton Charm
Hmmmm
Single dad Danny (to deaged Ellie and Dan) meets his neighbor Selina Kyle after one of her cats get into their apartment and he finds his kids playing with it.
Cue meet cute where Selina at first is just flirting like always but Danny charms her (aka being a bit dense but somehow adorkable, its charming)
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#selina kyle#dannyxselina#whats this ship name again?#danielle fenton#dan fenton#danielle phantom#dan phantom#Selina flirts but starts to fall for Danny#Danny is adorkable with Selina and the kids#Selina and Bruce broke up again so shes flirting#or isnt there a storyline where Selina and Bruce almost get married but dont?#maybe after that timeline?#Ellie finds Selina so cool btw.#she wants to learn EVERYTHING from Selina#Dan finds her awesome and he gets to pet all the cats she has in her place#i can see Selina denying actually having feelings for Danny for a bit#maybe even trying not to fall so he and the kids arent harmed if her night time activities catch up with her#but then of course the Fenton's have their own secrets Selina#some ghostly ones
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daily musings of officer goldwood
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#lime#limochi#clarinette#in the bg at least#art#ocs#original#note that those things dont actually happen when he goes home he just daydreams that it might#sometimes he gets pretty close to the top one#and sometimes she does let im lay in her lap#rare occasions#but when hes home at least theres a chance itll happen#when hes at work theres 0% mochi time#sad#the two wolves inside lime are (i want to quit this job) and (i need this job to be worthy of her)#country roadddssss...take me hoooommee....to the plaaaaace...i belooonggg...mochis laaaap....#- limes brain#spiral eyes lime is the Activation Indicator
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its weird how as israelis, or even just as jews in general, as soon as you extend sympathy towards the people who were massacred on october 7th u immediately get blamed for "supporting israel" and "not holding your state accountable".
when its like. WE are the ones who have been fighting non-stop to make our government and military officials take responsibility for this. WE have been begging our leaders to take accountability while u guys are sitting there overseas typing out shit like "its actually okay to murder babies as long as theyre settler babies"
#like assuming we're not criticizing Israel just bc we're not doing it on here or not doing it in english is stupid#blogging is not activism and my anti-occupation activism will always be offline and with other israeli and palestinian leftists.#why would i want to write essays in english criticizing israel-#only for them to be spread among people who dont know the littlest thing about this situation#and dont have any meaningful thing to add to the conversation?#jumblr#ישראבלר
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