#i don't like the like function. i don't like people feeling bad over numbers and followers and whatever the fuck. i don't care

[sisterdivinium]

Off-topic (but just in case after reading a random but very interesting little text over on Dreamwidth about current social media):

If Tumblr dies, I will not "migrate" anywhere else. I'm already on Dreamwidth. That's already my HQ apart from here. That's where the drabbles will be posted if this place goes kaput, that's where the WN analysis posts will go, etc. Not Bluesky, certainly not Xitter and nowhere else you can think of.

[comicaurora]

So uhh. If you feel like talking about it. As someone who lives in the US, how are you being kind to yourself on this upsetting morning <3

Checked in with my loved ones first and foremost.

It's interesting. The vibe I've been getting from my circle is very different from 2016. Much less… dread and horror at a realignment of the understanding of what can and can't happen here, now, in this place and day and age. More "fuck, guys. again? whatever. enjoy your consequences, maybe you'll manage to learn something this time."

Frustration and anger is not the most positive feeling, or even the most fair one to express, but it is a protective one. It hurts a lot less than most alternatives.

And it's quite a shift. It was earthshattering back then. How could this have been allowed to happen? Why couldn't it be stopped? Why couldn't we stop it? Why couldn't I stop it? Why couldn't everyone see what this meant? Why couldn't I make them understand? Did they really not care? What did that mean about humanity as a whole? Were we so thoughtless? How could anyone be trusted?

It seems… much less earthshattering to see it happen twice. Disappointing, sure. Frustrating. But nowhere near as devastating as the first time I saw it unfold. We already knew it could happen. I've already had time to digest the implications. Now I'm just freshly disappointed.

It also feels less indicative of Crushing Truths Of Reality this time. We've seen shit get bad. We've also seen shit get better from here! We know both outcomes are possible, even inevitable. We know hoping for a better future is always worthwhile. This isn't the apocalypse. It's an unremarkably bad turn of events brought on by unremarkably self-centered well-documented human impulses. It's utterly mundane in its unpleasantness. It doesn't need to be dignified with despair.

A democratic election, no matter the outcome or the side we're on, makes us all acutely aware of how outnumbered we are by people whose worldviews and priorities are demonstrably incomprehensible to us. And the first time you get outnumbered, it's a shock. Defeat is haunting. It didn't matter how badly you wanted it; by the very function of democracy, you do not have the power to override greater numbers. (insert electoral college caveat here)

The second time through, I find myself focusing on a different facet that has dramatically reduced the amount of spiralling I'm doing. I don't expect this to work for everyone, but for me specifically, it helped to crystallize a few thoughts:

You don't have the power to control anyone else. You don't. You can't share your worldview and your revelations with them. You can't make them think or understand anything. You can lay it all out for them, but you can't make them listen, and you can't make it click. A mentor can't make their student learn a lesson; that's why teaching is so complicated and hard. An active choice must be made by the person to enable themselves to understand, and they must put the pieces together in their own mind before it makes sense to them, and the pieces must have been presented in a way that makes sense to them in the first place. Lead a horse to water, can't make them drink.

These elections highlight a disconnect in what different groups of people care about; and no matter how clearly you explain yourself or how passionately you perform, caring cannot be forced on someone. Understanding and connection cannot be forced. You cannot make anything or anyone matter to someone. They have to choose to see how it matters in order to internalize it. If they choose not to, that is not your failing. You couldn't have made them do it by just Explaining Better. They are not your responsibility. They make their own choices. You can't reach inside their head and connect the dots for them.

I'm a storyteller. I make stories and put them out into the world. I hope people get something good out of them, but I have no control over what that something is. I want people to be thoughtful and kind and compassionate and hopeful and see themselves reflected in stranges, no matter their differences. I can craft stories that I hope encourage this. But that is the extent of my ability and the extent of my responsibility. I control no-one's actions but my own, and so while I am not having the best day, I am at least content that I am doing what I can, and I am not shattering myself against impossibilities trying to control the things I can't.

Sometimes, people make decisions that I think are really bad. I can't make that not happen. All I can do is try to make decisions that will result in things I think are good. Today, that means checking in on people, and not assigning too much dramatic narrative weight to an ultimately mundane set of unremarkable bad decisions outside of my control. We'll take life as it comes and help each other out when and how we can. Everything else is out of our hands.

[jester-lover]

Batfam with a Desi! S/O

CWs: Fem! aligned reader discussions of discrimination, angst, spoilers, but overall fluff

AN: I'm desi and I rarely see desi! reader content out here, so I felt the need to deliver, would love feedback! Also, I'm very new to the Batfamily dynamic, so please don't think anything OOC is intentional.

Bruce

You’ve got to be a really smart person to catch his eye; when you’ve got him, he’s absolutely ensnared by you. Bruce worships the damn ground you walk on, and he respects your culture from the get-go.

As a businessman, he’s met people from all countries. He knows how to behave respectfully towards your family without much nagging. By that I mean, he’ll take his shoes off when he gets to your place.

You know those big gold bangles and accessories you’ve always wanted? You’ll get them. Bruce knows what an investment gold can be, and he’s insistent on only the best for you.

Desi culture is very family-oriented, and while at first, he’s a little put off by how close everyone is, he warms up to it. Your family adores him because they know he can take care of you, and he actually puts in effort to connect with your identity.

He encourages you to wear traditional clothes to every press event you attend, and whenever you’re at desi events together, he’ll wear a kurta too. Imagine going to a desi wedding with a billionaire in tow, and he starts throwing hundreds on the dance floor lol.

You worry about him regarding his double life, but he tries to keep the crime in Gotham away from you the best he can.

Dick

He’s so down bad about you his own teammates make fun of him for it.

Dick would see you doing something like oiling your hair and beg to try it out too, so now you oil his hair once weekly. He tells everyone it’s a secret, but they all know it got better as soon as he was with you.

He would love watching sappy old Bollywood/Tollywood movies with you; the plots and slang might be outdated, but he loves the ornateness of it all. Like he’s a sucker for good background and costume design.

Your family loves how much attention he pays to himself and his body, and he practically soaks in the adoration of any number of little cousins he can pick up and spin around at family functions.

Speaking of functions, you know he’s gonna be in the middle of the dance floor. Does he know even a single song or move? Absolutely he does not, but is he gonna try to replicate SRK from his heart? Yes, he is.

He might shed a little tear the first time he sees you in traditional clothes; you just look so pretty to him. He loves seeing you in lehengas and saris, especially the long, flowy fabric that makes you look like a princess to him.

Jason

I really don’t think your family would like him at first, but he’s committed to you, and he’s gonna be with you as long as you’ll have him. He’ll happily immerse himself in your culture and eventually gain their trust, albeit, hanging on a thread.

Similarly to Dick, he’ll ask for you to try oiling his hair, but he’d love oiling your hair too, helping you tend to it during slow days. 

While none of the other people here would be quiet in the face of you facing discrimination, Jason would be the most willing to cause equal or worse harm. God forbid someone acts rude or racist towards you; they will find their lives slowly falling apart around them. From flat tires to burnt-down houses, he will willingly cause misery for those who have upset you over something you couldn’t possibly control.

Loves to help you cook; seeing a dish come together makes him feel all domestic and giddy inside. Even if it’s something simple, like a cup of chai or basic daal, he loves the richness of the flavors and spice. His spice tolerance is also high, so you don’t need to make your shared meals blander.

Worrying about clothes is a little out of his general interest, but he loves how opulent your traditional clothes are, like the amount of attention to detail and elegance. He thinks you look pretty even after the event, shoes in hand and hair messy after dancing for hours. He’ll carry you to the car if you ask him.

On the topic of clothes, Jason would look so gorgeous in a silky black kurta; I just know it.

Tim

One of my favorite gora pakoras.

He’d love to visit your country of origin someday; warm weather, good food, meeting your extended family—it’s all great for him.

Loves desi sweets so much. His favorites are mostly kulfi and syrupy treats like gulab jamun, but he loves snacks like pakoras.

This is the boy you want to bring home; he’s smart, self-reliant, comes from money, and is willing to keep up with the various traditions we have. Tim will happily learn your language, even if just to greet people respectfully at events. Your desi mom will literally start telling you to act more like him.

He’ll get himself matching kurtas to your outfits if you want him to, even if he kind of just sits around at events. It's not that he doesn’t want to socialize; he’s just a little nervous.

Tim will watch all the Desi rom-coms you want with you, especially the musical ones; they’re his guilty pleasure.

Duke

He’s so sweet, genuinely such a good partner in general, but also so conscious of cultural and social differences. 

Duke Thomas would be the type of boyfriend who carries around extra safety pins whenever you’re in traditional clothes or bobby pins for your hair, just thoughtful in little but important ways.

Running around fighting crime really takes a lot out of a guy, so you know he’d love to eat some hearty food; I think his favorites would be biryani or anything similarly substantial. 

This is the boy who’d spend any spare hour he has listening to you ramble on about family drama that goes back three generations and spans 3 continents. He’ll even help you oil your hair while he’s at it; he’s pretty decent at massaging it into your scalp. 

His favorite clothes on you are the less gown-like desi clothes, like the Shalwar Kameez; Duke thinks you look absolutely adorable in a dupatta.

He adores you so much because of everything that makes you, you. That includes loving your culture.

Barbara

Barbara’s such an ideal girlfriend in any situation, but with a desi partner, she’d really adore exploring your culture with you.

Another one who’d love watching Bollywood/Tollywood movies with you, especially some of the newer ones by more obscure directors, focusing on women’s issues and other elements of modern Desi society.

She would help you do your makeup for formal events, and it will be locked down for the night. Imagine wearing matching lehengas with Barb; she’d look so stunning!

Warms up to your family pretty quickly; she loves sharing chai and biscuits in the morning with them, talking about all the happenings in the city.

Barbara loves desi jewelry; she’d adore it if you got her a piece. She loves seeing you in ornate matching sets, just decked out in glamour.

[skaldish]

I’m not sure if you’re a TikTok user at all but I was wondering if you’ve seen any of the witchcraft accounts over there that post “if you’re seeing this video the message is for you” tarot readings or god/goddess messages and what your thoughts are on them?

Personally I really really dislike those kinds of videos but I have trouble articulating why, I just feel like the lack of consent in regards to the “reading” is screwed up and it can also be really bad for people who struggle with discernment or have mental health issues that could be triggered/worsened by receiving spiritual “messages meant for them” on their social media. But I was just wondering if you had any thoughts on it if you wouldn’t mind sharing!

Hi! It's been a few years since I've watched anything on TikTok, but I do remember getting these kinds of videos. The ones I got were far more benign though, in the flavor of "If you see this video, this card is for you!" It is quite a different thing entirely when those videos claim to be messages from deities, and you are correct in identifying that there's something very off-putting about these videos, because there is.

It's true that there is an issue of consent: Someone dumping a reading on you that you didn't ask for is rude, and it's ruder for someone to act as an unsolicited mediator while doing this.

But then there are some very, very deep ethical issues: When someone claims to have a message from a deity for you, they are positioning themself as the unquestionable authority of your current life-circumstances. Their assessment of your circumstances are couched in the authority of a deity, so to question their assessment is to question the deity. Nobody, at any point, has this right, OR this ability to enact judgements.

Conflating their spiritual authority with divine authority is also a method that spiritual leaders use to enact religious abuse: It puts people in positions where doubting their authority means potentially doubting the god they claim to speak on behalf of. So even if someone thinks the authority is lying, it feels unsafe for them to actually believe that for fear of angering the god.

This is how high-demand religions keep their followers from leaving, by associating independent thought with the risk of losing love and belonging.

I honestly think most of these TikTokers are unaware of what they're doing, as opposed to doing this on purpose. They see that this gimmick makes their follower-count go up so they keep doing it. But this doesn't make it any less unethical or any less untoward, and in some ways, the fact they're potentially unaware of it makes the situation worse.

Even if they didn't have all these ethical problems, these videos can't actually function as divine portents because TikTok is a shitty oracle.

Oracles are only reliable when they have no agenda and aren't trying to influence outcomes, which can't be said about TikTok-creators and TikTok's algorithm; they're trying to increase numbers and keep your eyeballs glued to the app. I would have better luck trying to facilitate deity-communication with a Bop-It than with TikTok.

As a rule of thumb, hearing a divinely-inspired message does not mean a deity is trying to communicate to us. It's like how we don't assume a celebrity is talking to us personally because someone is quoting them in our presence.

[unteriors]

Why is France in particular so much worse off than many of the other Western countries on this blog? It looks like some of these places haven't been updated in 100+ years to be safe or liveable, and somehow have evidence people still occupy them. I know poverty is the main answer, but it surprised me. I know their buildings are old but some of these people are still using oil lamps.

I'm not completely sure, there are definitely a lot of centuries-old buildings for sale on French listings that look as though they haven't been updated in about as long. Part of it may be cultural and specific to France - it has a huge number of small settlements, most of which date back hundreds of years, with their original housing stock intact. But it probably has something to do with the confluence of a few different factors that affect the kind of listings you find for each country. One factor is how regulated and (relatively) free of corruption the real estate sector is in each country. In the US, for instance, it's regulated enough to make it possible for aggregate websites like Realtor and Zillow (and Redfin, etc.) to exist. I'm not totally clear on the specifics, but I think it has to do with having centralised agencies that track and provide data for sales prices, dates of sale and other property details that ensure a certain level of quality control. This means that listings tend to be more standardised and easier to navigate (for people like me interested in the imagery for reasons outside of the boring, instrumental original function from which they emerged). One thing I've noticed looking through sites from developing countries is that there tend to be a lot of obviously-fake listings, which re-use the same images and which make it a lot harder to find genuine ones. I'd guess having a substantial proportion of real estate transactions taking place in the grey market probably contributes to this (putting less pressure on these sites to be transparent and functional). If it seems like most of the imagery of this blog comes from western (or western-ish) countries that's one of the reasons why.

Cultural and regionally-specific factors are also important. France has a well-regulated housing sector, but so does Australia, which has a totally different feel in terms of the real estate imagery it generates - generally much more polished and artificial. If I had to guess, this probably has to do with how well-oiled the propaganda arm of the real estate industry in my country is; the idea of buying and renovating and speculating on housing as an investment is deeply embedded in the culture here, you see it all over the place on TV, in books, the kinds of things people talk about. Doubtless it has a lot to do with how structurally deep the housing crisis runs and how intractable it seems. I'd guess that it's also directly related to the kind of aesthetic you find: bright, evenly-lit photography using expensive cameras that make shitty overpriced houses look like offices, standardised camera angles (there must be some kind of style guide that like half the realtors here follow), etc. I've spoken to people who criticise real estate listings - which they have no personal stake in - that don't follow these conventions, as though following and reproducing these corporate aesthetic values is somehow virtuous. I'm not familiar with the cultural context in France, maybe it isn't as bad as ours. Some countries just seem to produce more real estate imagery independently of these factors though. I haven't found much in Germany, for instance, which you would think would have a similar housing stock to France. I've found a ton from Georgia and Hungary. Japan, which has a well-regulated housing sector (and presumably an enormous amount of housing being bought and sold), is much harder to find imagery from, partly due to the language barrier, but also to the way in which its main aggregate websites are designed. And maybe cultural reasons come into it as well. Italy has a lot of imagery, though a lot of it is covered in watermarks and other branding, so you have to hunt around. Spain is similar. When I do find imagery from continental Europe it seems like, outside of Germany, most countries have a lot of rough, older housing stock that people still seem to somehow live in, like you described. I haven't found much like this from the UK; I have from Ireland though.

I'm open to the idea that there's much of this sort of imagery from lots of different countries and I just haven't been proactive enough to find it; if anyone has any suggestions on where to look for any country please send them to me. I'm not just interested primarily in decrepit older housing stock, I think it's more of a project of looking for imagery that has aesthetic or artistic or cultural or whatever value and liberating it from the constraints of its work-institutional-instrumental context, and recontextualising it in a setting where those qualities can be drawn out and appreciated. There's a history of artists doing similar things (probably playing on the relationship between art and work), from Gustave Courbet to Andy Warhol to Tracey Emin. If anyone's interested send me an anon and I'll write more about the rationale here.

[crooked-wasteland]

I'm very much looking forward to your Stolitz/HB is a bad musical essay. I've had my own thoughts on HH being subpar as far as a musical goes but never really felt like I had the knowledge on musicals as a narrative style nor as a music genre to do it much justice; excited to see you tackle the topic in regards to HB! 🫡

I absolutely understand the hesitation. It isn't like I personally have a masters in Musical Theory, but I think we as a generation have had musical theories subliminally inculcated into our psyche from the sheer amount of exposure that we can understand what makes a good musical and recognize when those qualities are simply not there. No one has reservations talking about how bad Wish was as a musical, and what I am finding in my own deep-dive for this essay is that Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel suffer the same issues as Wish. The lead in music being Sam Haft who is not a musical theatre composer and frankly doesn't understand how musical theatre functions on a fundamental level.

For a small preview of a major point in my essay that I plan on expanding much more, Helluva and Hazbin completely lack an understanding of musical diegesis. This may be a new term for some. Diegesis is most often referenced in how music interplays within a movie or film.

Most of the time the music is not diegetic to the story. When we have big moments in our media with that swelling emotional music, we don't think that there is an orchestra just off screen playing this music for these characters. We are aware the music is an external component to the story. In this way, the music is most often not diegetic to the narrative.

Of course that isn't always the case. Take for example Guardians of the Galaxy and how the films utilize their soundtrack. Starting the movie off, we hear Come and Get Your Love as we would hear any other soundtrack, only for Peter Quill to remove his headphones and the music can be heard playing faintly over them. That makes the song Diegetic.

Another example is Shrek. All of the pop songs in the films are non-diegetic, but there are diegetic songs in, say, Shrek 2 with the Fairy Godmother singing Holding Out for a Hero.

To pull back to more direct inspiration, Happy Day in Hell is nothing more than an embarrassing parody of Beauty and the Beast's opening number Belle. However, Belle is non-diegetic. The Townspeople are singing their thoughts and feelings, but that is not what literally is happening. And Belle turning at the end isn't supposed to be taken as literally the town coming to a halt just to follow her and talk about how weird she is, but that the town as a collective sees her as an outsider and she gets that sixth sense sort of feeling of people judging her. Because they are, they just don't say anything. That is a key crux for the film.

Every single song in Helluva Boss and Hazbin are diegetic. We know this because Vaggie tells Charlie not to sing and we are told by Angel Dust explicitly that Charlie is, in fact, physically singing. Stolas' song ends with Stella telling Stolas to stop singing. Striker, Verosika, Moxxie, Stolas, Fizzarolli, Glitz & Glam, and Asmodeus all sing as a part of a literal performance.

In fact, Hazbin goes out of its way to shoehorn in-universe reasons to have a song rather than just allowing the world to exist in that heightened reality. Additionally, by having the songs explicitly being legitimate songs in the world, we actually face more issues with the world building because on one hand Vaggie is begging Charlie to not sing and is struggling with the secondhand embarrassment, only for the denizens of Hell to join in? Except the world has established that singing is not something people just do. It is the one time the criticism of "Why is everyone singing" and "How do you all know the words?" Are legitimately valid questions.

This all screams insecure and shows a clear discomfort with the genre of musical theatre as a whole. There is no depth of understanding how music in musicals function, just like Wish.

That isn't even touching on how San Haft's lyricism is identical to Wish's worst numbers with how he just borks the internal structure and meter of his songs.

[trainsinanime]

I'm still considering whether I'll do any non-vague posting about this, but let me just say: Writing long and erudite posts about what you think is wrong with a French children's TV show does not absolve you from the accusation that you're doing… let's call it entry-level analysis. A post can be long and well-written and still just regurgitate the most basic, boring points, and some of them plainly wrong.

Actually maybe don't read this, it may be too salty itself.

"Adrien is sometimes too pushy", "Marinette is sometimes a stalker", "Alya is a bad friend because she's unwilling to bully a random new girl just because Marinette said so", yeah, yeah, we've heard it. More than once. Way more than once. Yes, even with receipts and quotes. Trust me, it's been discussed. These are the kind of standard hot takes of someone who is doing their first attempt at critical analysis, and I actually think on some level we should encourage that. I do believe fandom should be beginner-friendly in all regards.

But man, it can be annoying to read sometimes. Especially when someone uses these hot takes to justify the existence of salt fics. Let me be 100% clear here: Salt fics are not a reaction to flaws in the source material. Salt fics are materially different from fix-it fics. This becomes more clear when you track these patterns over fandoms, and in particular look at my favourite example over in Fairy Tail (sic).

That fandom has a number of fandom-specific plots, like some "angel of death sends main character back to relive the origins with the knowledge they had later" (also very popular in Harry Potter back in the day), but also one that is just 100% salt specific: It's about Lisanna, a childhood friend of the male lead Natsu, coming back from the alternate universe she was trapped in, and displacing Lucy, the female lead, who eventually leaves, sad and depressed, while nobody cares about her. The sentiments are all the same: Feeling depressed, feeling annoyed that your friends are suddenly interested in the new girl, feeling like you don't belong anymore, leaving your friend group to punish them and so on.

There are some differences as well. This whole thing was back in the days of Fanfiction.net, when crossovers were in a whole other section of the site and thus not easily findable, so the whole "…I'm going to run away to somewhere where people want me" never had the frankly hilarious addition of "…and when I'm there I'm going to marry Batman!", which spawned a whole sub-fandom in ML (its fans tell me that it's not all salt; I haven't bothered to check).

But the most important difference: The inciting incident never happened in canon. People just thought it might. In canon, Lisanna did return from her alternate dimension… and then immediately became a forgotten background character. Lucy and Natsu remained just as in love as they always had been, which is to say, very much except they don't seem to notice it. Their relationship was never strained even for a moment.

And still people wrote these stories that are functionally salt fics, with the same storylines, same emotions, same beats. Because salt fics are not about fixing what is wrong with the show. If they were, they'd spend all their time discussing the terribly fucked-up metro map. Salt fics are about exploring feelings of loneliness, isolation, "why are you hanging out with here when I told you she sucks" and just pure spite, in a way that you don't really see outside of pop songs. That is the end goal. The characters and plots are just a way to get there, and they will get twisted as necessary.

This is critical for understanding and discussing the phenomenon of salt fics. Alya is not actually getting demonised because she acted a bit stupid in one episode where everybody but Marinette acted a bit stupid. It's incredibly weird to hear this argument, and then all the supporting quotes for it, in the same post, right underneath, are all:

Alya: Okay, but do you have any proof? Marinette (angrily): Arrghlwargl! No!

Like, come on. Alya is getting demonised because people really want to. Because it works for the kind of story. These stories assume that it's Alya's job to always support Marinette unconditionally, and that any deviation from that, no matter how minor, is a highest order betrayal. And then they go full Count of Monte Cristo on her.

(Well, not really, that could almost be fun. Nobody ever has Marinette imprisoned for fourteen years, get out with the help of a hypnotist monk, use a buried pirate treasure to buy an island, then manipulate a telegraph line to… It's all just torn notebooks and such. Boring.)

The idea that people hate Alya for mostly valid reasons is just plain wrong and shows that you've missed a huge part of what's happening in the fandom. You could use all the Alya hate as an entry point into analysing what her role is in the show, how people in the fandom perceive her role, how people in the salt dom perceive her role, how her role and her personality shift depending on the needs of an episode at the expense of a consistent character and so on. There is some great analysis in that direction out there already, but more wouldn't hurt. "Alya is a bad friend sometimes because of Chameleon" remains an uninteresting take no matter how well you word it, though.

And that's just Alya. Adrien hate, for example, is its entirely own field. In short: Yes, some characters in this fandom are over-hated. Try digging deeper next time.

[artificial-transmutations]

3k - A celebration!

Hey there, guys and gals!

TLDR: There's a poll at the bottom asking which story deserves a sequel!

Today is a very special day, at least to me. After a little more of one year posting stories to Tumblr, I have reached the absolutely staggering number of 3000 followers. During this time, I have posted about 100 stories with a unbelievable (and I kid you not) 33,333 likes and reblogs. Yes, this is the exact number at the time of writing this post. Yes, I wrote a program to look that up and the number is accurate.

Let me just say: Wow. And thank you. 3000 of you found my writing enjoyable enough to want me in their feed. And there were exactly 33,333 times in the past year-and-a-bit that someone actually *liked* what they saw/read/skimmed over. I couldn't feel more honored, really.

As a celebration, I am going to do something I usually don't (even though I have been asked a couple of times): I will write a sequel or prequel or related story to one of those stories YOU liked most. Remember the program I wrote to find out my total number of notes? Yeah, the original function was to find out the stories with the most notes. Out of the top six of those, I will let you chose the one story you want to see more of. Additionally (although it is only at rank 10), as a seventh option I'll add "Your wish is my command", since that is the story I have received the most sequel requests. So, without further lamenting, here are the stories!

#1: 11:48

#2: Boyfriend Material

#3: ATArena

#4: Spice Up

#5: Beating Recession

#6: Calling the Plumber

#7: Your Wish is my Command

So! Which one is it going to be? Choose wisely!

That's it from my side for today. Stay awesome!

AT

[powdermelonkeg]

Something websites (*cough* Tumblr *cough*) need to learn is that what retains an audience isn't an abundance of new bells and whistles to play with, it's a coherent experience overall.

When someone joins a website, you don't need to grab their attention and hold it. They're already testing the waters. They've agreed to sign up. You've won on that front, and they're there for something specific you already have that they're hoping works well.

What drives them away is frustration.

Frustration, frustration, frustration.

Learning curves are going to be a part of any new website experience; they're something the user comes to terms with, in their own time. But broken or bad features are going to make them jump sites.

On top of that, constantly adding new features makes them feel like all the hard work they've put in to learning what you have isn't worth it; your website looks unstable and your staff looks incompetent, because it gives the impression that you don't know what you're doing.

You are floundering. It makes your new users nervous. It makes your old users hesitate to bring anyone else on board. And why should they? Why should they put effort into it if you're going to throw that effort away next Tuesday? Why get used to a UI that you're not going to bother to keep? Why customize anything if you're going to whittle that customization away?

Between that and the broken, unattended features of this site—the tag organization failing, the inability to look up posts word-for-word, the video player either refusing to play or yanking you to the top of the dashboard, images taking forever to load, advertisements blaring at full volume when you scroll past, you have your problem.

You have the reason why your numbers are failing.

It's not that you're not interesting enough.

It's not that you're too difficult to understand.

It's that you aren't improving what you have, yet you keep adding more half-broken things and unwanted copycat features to the pile.

It's that you're losing your identity in pursuit of a hypothetical perfect customer.

It's that you are actively telling your user base that you prefer those hypothetical customers over them. And your user base, your real people who make you happen, are smart enough to know where your priorities lie.

The bulk of this post talks about Tumblr, but other sites have gone the same way. Twitter is dead and its corpse is decaying in the street. Reddit has sabotaged any trust its users had in its management. If you'd like a really old example—I used to use Fanfiction Net. It's not the most intuitive website in the world, but it was the first one I called home.

I used it to host my works. The adware now on it makes it a hassle to navigate. The bots make comment sections and private messages a dread rather than a joy. So I moved on.

I also used to use it to collaborate on stories with my now-roommate. The message limit was 300 a day. When you're writing dialogue between characters, that's nothing.

So I moved on. We started messaging on Facebook. It was better, it didn't have a limit. But then I learned Discord existed, and I could edit messages, make dedicated channels, etc. So I moved on from Facebook to Discord. And Discord had a steep learning curve, especially if you're trying to make your own server rather than contribute to one. But, most importantly, the payoff was worth it.

If Discord changed its layout every other month while I was learning it, and broke how its reactions worked, and kept shifting what it meant to create a channel? If it opted me into servers I didn't sign up for, in hopes of engagement? If its text never formatted correctly, or its search function only went back a day or two?

I would have gone right back to Facebook. Even if it's a more basic experience, basic is always preferable to unstable.

Figure out what you want, websites.

Slow growth, or a gamble?

You're paying for your magic slot machine in users.

[mr-damian-s-power]

I think it’s genuinely disgusting the amount of disrespect Camila gets both from the fandom and the show.

All scenes of her expressing her love for Cosmic Frontier was scrapped, she constantly has to deal with a selfish brat for a daughter (WHO NEVER APOLOGIZES TO HER FOR EVERYTHING SHE DID BTW), and a good number of fans not only see her as a bad abusive mother, but also think Eda is a BETTER mom to Luz! And even the show tries to push this narrative even though Camila has NEVER been a bad mom ever.

Bro, don't even get me started on the way Camila is treated! (Well, you have anyway, so here we go!) When I see people calling her a 'bad parent', or in some cases, 'abusive', I just feel like my brain's crapped out. Did we watch the same show?

Let's see who Camila is! She's a widower trying to live with her hyperactive and unruly daughter. When her daughter's unacceptable behaviour gets too much, she arranges to have her spend the summer at a camp that should help give her a big reality check and teach her to be a functioning member or society.

How is that abusive? Some people can only dream of having a mother who cares like that.

What kinda soft meek parents did these people have? She is a woman who is doing her best! If anything, after Luz set snakes loose on her school, she's lucky nobody got the police involved (but that's another can of worms for how Luz's introduction is terrible for a character we're meant to feel sorry for). When these people act like Camila is anywhere on Odalia's level, or even worse, I just wanna reach through my screen and give them a good smack.

And that about Eda, I'll just say this! Eda is the Mum that Luz WANTS! An enabler! Someone who will just let her do whatever. Camila is the Mum that Luz NEEDS! Someone who will put their foot down and say 'no'.

Then, when Camila is finally putting her foot down, her daughter runs away and gets replaced by a shape-shifting Demon who lives with her for months. Then, she finds out her daughter picked these people she's known for like a few weeks over her just because they enable her. Gotta be brutally honest, selfish is an understatement.

Then, if I'm correct, she apologises to Luz for saying she'll send her to the camp. NO CAMILA! Don't compromise like that! That just validates Luz into believing that YOU were in the wrong there.

Tl;Dr Camila is the furthest thing from a bad parent as you can get, but the show and fandom paints her as bad because she dared to tell Luz 'no' and actually tried to be a responsible adult.

[camp-counselor-life]

I saw a comment on a post about the whole dues situation that was like,

Time to take away their nonprofit status.

And like, there's a ton of misinformation about this whole situation out there. And I do not fault anyone for hard feelings or anger or whatever you are feeling.

However.

This particular sentiment, that nonprofits can't charge money for services, irks me. It's true, some, if not many, nonprofits offer free services. And Girl Scouts does. But ultimately, free can only exist with paid. And even if you, the participant, aren't paying, someone else did, in some way, shape, or form.

I personally spend hours negotiating and setting up free opportunities, or running them myself. Usually not funded by GSUSA (I'll talk about "GSUSA" grants at some point but not now). Often funded by the fees from paid programs, to balance my budget. Or paid for by the thousands of people who buy cookies from my council. So, someone, somewhere, paid for a free program.

Very little in this world is truly free, even if it doesn't cost money. My time isn't free, and because I'm not paid hourly for overtime, anything over 40 hours a week may be free to [council] but it isn't free to me. I am paying for it, losing library programs or not having time to cook or the respect of my friends from outside Girl Scouting. But it's not free to me. Even if it's free to children and families.

So, this is a long winded way of saying, nonprofits are allowed to charge money. I also, gently, invite you to look at the fee rates of other youth nonprofits. Yes, some are free/grant-funded, but many are not, and are more than Girl Scouts.

Am I happy about the dues situation? No. Do I think that GSUSA should have done some stuff differently? Yes. Do I think financial assistance planning was severely lacking? Definitely. Will this effect families and membership numbers, especially in areas where there are large families or a lot of poverty? Yes.

But. Do I think that GSUSA has done anything that is outside of reasonable for nonprofits of its size and scope? No, I really don't. Like it or not, nonprofits need money to function, and while I do question how GSUSA got into this position, I don't think the movement should end as it is because of a bad budget.

[dwln-22]

I think my ideal snaketoad dynamic is one where they match eachother's freak so to speak. Personally, I think Toad man is equally/similarly as "weird" as Snake man.

I choose to interpret tone deaf as both musically and socially...

(I basically wrote all my snaketoad lore here lmao)

In my own interpretation, after the events of Megaman 4, Toad man was left with a major flaw due to Dr Wily's reckless reprogramming. He was unable to function in cold temperatures anymore, so Dr. Cossack sent him to stay with Dr. Light because it just so happened that he also has a robot with similar issues (ahem snake man ahem)

Snake man was actually pretty excited to finally have someone who could relate to his issues, but not only that, he was also animal themed! And he's a Toad!!! (Snake man likes toads and frogs, he just thinks they're cool)

So Snake man's thinking, he should probably try to be "nicer" so Toad man wouldn't be scared off so easily. No shenanigans, pranks, bullying or nothing, just respect and kindness. (AKA acting nothing like himself to impress someone else)

Unfortunately for him, Toad man is...very bad at understanding people's intentions. The rest of the light numbers try befriending him so he feels welcomed there, They'll invite him to places and he'll "No." and just leave.

He's genuinely not trying to be mean, he just doesn't want to go...but this guy will say things so rudely to people lol

No one ever calls him out for it though, they assume it's just because he's going through a hard time so they basically just accept it.

But it's especially bad with Snake man. Oh man, seeing it from the outside is straight up tragic. Snake man will happily greet him and he'll just stare at him, uncomfortable and confused. In his mind, he's thinking "Why does he act nice to me but not with anyone else? That's suspicious."

Toad man is especially uncomfortable around Snake man because Dr. Wily made him, aka the guy who ruined his life...and despite that Snake man doesn't hate him? A robot loving his creator? How could he?! I think at this point in time, Toad man still doesn't understand nuance because he hasn't experienced as much as Snake man has. He thinks, "Dr. Wily is a bad man, so you should hate him. If not, then you think what he did was okay."

But come on, it's so much more complicated for snake man. Sure, he did terrible things, but that's his father! His creator! The same man that called him his greatest creation, the same man who truly loved him...Toad man you inconsiderate fool!

and also, I don't think Toad man necessarily thinks Snake man is gonna eat him, but i do think he worries that Snake man is going to hurt him. Even though snake man's literally trying to be friends, this dumbass literally doesnt get it.

Then one day, Toad man finally had enough and he ends up blowing up at Snake man. Telling him to just leave him alone already, and a bunch of other things...Snake man is heartbroken, he apologises and leaves.

I've said this before, Toad man ends up finding a gift snake man made for him in a trash can somewhere. Here's a continuation for that.

Toad man thoroughly enjoyed reading the research paper, but he doesn't understand why? Why would snake man write this for him? He thinks about it for a while, holding on to the paper.

Snake man hasn't been around lately. Apparently, he isn't with the 3rd numbers either. Weird. Soon, Bright man came over to visit, they have fun catching up with eachoter. Then Toad man brings up everything with Snake man, he asks Bright man what he thinks of it.

He gives Toad man the most disappointed look. "Toad man, he literally just wants to be friends with you."

Then he says it's kinda concerning for Snake man to dissappear like that after what Toad man said to him...finally he started to regret what he said that day.

"What should I do? How can I fix this?"

"I think you should try apologising."

And so, Toad man went on a mission to go apologise to Snake man. Eventually, he finds him at a park with Wood man. (Who gives him a dirty look)

He agrees to talk to him privately, and Toad man apologises for how he treated him.

But Snake man doesn't accept it. Toad man is very shocked to hear that, that's not how apologises are supposed to go! This is basically the first time anyone's ever rejected his apologies. Whenever he's accidentally hurt his brothers he usually just says sorry and everything is fine again! But apologies mean nothing to Snake man. He has no problem making that clear to Toad man.

Yet at the same time, he can't bring himself to entirely hate Toad man. Deep down he still wants to be friends, but it's not easy for him to just forgive Toad man. Toad man asks him just one thing, "Can I keep trying to earn your forgiveness?"

No one's ever said such things to snake man before, usually they just tell him to get over it and stop being so spiteful...but for once, someone actually wants to make an effort for him. (ahem unlike Gemini man ahem) He agrees to let Toad man keep trying.

And so, a friendship was born. Toad man would invite Snake man to places, usually the park or nature reserves. Eventually, Snake man would start inviting Toad man to places too :3

Something silly i imagine is that Toad man would ask Snake man every once in a while, "Are you still mad at me?"

and at first he'd be like "...Yes."

Then, "Not as much." "Just a little."

And finally, "...No."

They became really good friends! Then somebody realised that they love the other in a way they've never loved anyone else before...

Surprise! It's Toad man. Yes he's the one who caught feelings first. Unfortunately, when he told Snake man....his ass got rejected.

Ok it's not exactly like that, when he told Snake man he just couldn't believe it. Because of all the people in the world, why would he be in love with Snake man? It's just that Toad man hasn't had any other friends! so he's just not used to platonic love. He tells him to go make some other friends and soon enough he'll see that the feeling he has is normal!

Toad man is frustrated by Snake man's reaction, so he begrudgingly forces himself to talk to people to find friends. He wasn't actually intending to make friends, he just wants Snake man to think he did. To his surprise, he actually did find some actual friends! Who knew that having more than one friend could actually be so fun? He did love his friends, but the way he felt about Snake man was still more special...

So once again, he tells Snake man. This time he's out of excuses so he's forced to confess that he always felt the same way but he worried that it's just something that's wrong. Something that he shouldn't be feeling towards another man...not only that, why him of all people? He thinks that surely Toad man deserves so much better.

Toad man asks him just one thing...

"Can I keep trying to make you think otherwise?"

aaaand that's where the slow burn begins! but it's more like a leisurely burn from how long it takes lol

I imagined that they'd carefully plan who to tell about their relationship, I think the first person they'd tell is Dr. Light, who was very happy for them and supportive. He did create robots with the ability to love after all!

I could keep going but ill stop for now...

[kaija-rayne-author]

13th review in series of Dragon Age Veilguard

98 steam hours logged, 84 game hours logged on final save, (the listing in the game itself) actual gameplay hours (-2 for time in CC) either 96 or 82... depending.

14 hour discrepancy between game logged hours and steam logged hours is likely how much trouble the game gave me in loading, reloading, glitching, and crashing. Do I get to charge Bioware for those lost hours of my life?

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip it if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though., every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard and everything else DA, I'm a Lore fiend.

My pithy pre-end sequence commentary.

Section 12 here.

END GAME SPOILERS

End game spoilers for BG3 too.

13 is my lucky number, but even that couldn't save it. I can't think of a single thing that can save this disaster of a game. I'll write a more professional wrap-up review post too, this is my reaction portion.

I've finished the final sequence of the game. Sat through the credits of probably a thousand people who worked on this piece of shit and still thought it releasable. AND saw the 'easter egg/future game possibility scene'. My kid said I got a hint of hope back in my eyes for about 10 seconds when that final scene popped up then the light faded again. Apparently the 'long slow horrified stare of death' was all over my face again.

Loading in, I dreaded everything I was about to see. Veilguard had already disappointed me in so many ways. I didn't have any hope the final sequence would be any better.

It wasn't as bad as I expected. It was worse. Yes. Honestly.

In all fairness (even if I really don't want to be fair right now) the last sequence does contain some of the best material in the game. If they'd actually written the rest of it with that kind of passion it probably would've been a better game. But that doesn't actually make it good. And how any average person makes it to the final sequence is beyond me. I'm stuck in bed. I've got an excuse.

So. I expected it to be long. That part didn't bother me that much. Most Dragon Age games have long final sequences.

The positive! Ummmm? Oh! I actually did get an intimate scene with Lucanis. His timing stinks but whatever. I did actually get one. I mean, it was one your aunt who's a nun probably wouldn't have found racey, but it exists! Dude. It's 2024, there's this cool toggle function you can click off if you don’t want nudity. It's a Mature rated game and I'm pretty sure most of us know what sex is. Give paying customers what they want!

My least favourite character died.

I called it on Solas killing Varric in the first scene. Interesting twist they did with that, though. Told y'all. I didn't want it to happen either, but the writing was on the wall in great big letters in drippy red paint from the second they fired Mary Kirby (Varric's writer.) In case you want more details than snark on that? Varric did indeed die when Solas stabbed him in the beginning. What you see throughout the game is Solas messing with Rook's mind because Solas needs Rook to work with him. Varric died before the story actually started. That last line of his 'take care of the team' told me. But I got taken in by the twist too. Bet that was a Weekes twist. 'It’s right in front of you the whole time.'

Elgar'nan made a WAY better final boss fight than Coryphyfish.

I did legitimately love watching Teia and Viago fight as crows. That was a really awesome section. (They're two of my favourite characters from Tevinter Nights.)

The bad.

There is no way for me to list it all. So here's the highlight reel.

Varric died.

They lifted almost the entire final battle sequence from BG3. The tentacle they have to climb to the fancy building in the sky. People falling and almost dying by tumbling down the tentacle, having to fight through said self-destructing fancy building in the sky... I know you can't copyright an idea. As an author, I understand and approve of that. But you should at least make the idea a wee bit unrecognizable as to where you lifted it from. Y'know?

Yay! We got to see Solas in wolfie form! He looks like a Chinese hairless crested dog on a really bad day. Like... really needs to go to the salon and have a bath day. I really wish I were joking.

Called it on the Solavellan ending. And NO. Trick Weekes. That DOES NOT give a suggestion of a Happy Fucking Ending. Read some fucking Romance. GOOD romance. (They do. And I'm being very mature by not calling out one of the authors they read who was one of the ones who harassed me off of Twitter. Oh. No. Two of them I've seen Trick mention as books they've read were involved in that. I guess looking at the people someone likes and respects is kinda indicative... isn't it?)

What's that say about me? I don't like very many people. I get along with people as best as my autistic/AuDHD ass can but I don't LIKE very many people at all. Nor do people tend to like me. I have no compunction about calling someone on bullshit. It makes people cranky, but I've had enough bullshit in my life. And I respect about the same amount of people as I like. If I can't respect you? I can't like you. (For anyone who does actually know me... I don't mean you. If I talk with you privately? Or even if I'm willing to? I both like and respect you. Or I wouldn't bother talking to you privately. I'm shit at reaching out. But if we've talked more than once in any form of privacy? You've made the list of my cranky ass.)

Am I a bitch? Probably. Live my life and see if you'd be any different.

No intimate scene for Solas and Inky. After ten years of waiting for Solavellans. After all the shitting on Solas we had to put up with in DAV (and OMFG there was soooo much!!) No actual happy ending. No intimate scene. Oh, but you do get a rather grody kiss between them because he's just been fighting and has blight all over his face. But yay? They get to kiss? With absolutely no passion at all. Maybe the passion of a bavarian cream pastry? A rotten one? Ew. Before dissolving into fade gook.

The entire time I spent in CC for my Inky to make her look like my player character from DAI? It didn't show up in the final sequence. And no way was I replaying that hellscape to see if it MIGHT could be coaxed into actually showing her the way I made her. I just got the stock body.

So... y'know the veil? That edge of reality that has been getting more and more holes in it throughout the entire history of the Dragon Age Franchise? The veil that the Lore has been pretty clear about it strangling both the magic and the life out of THEDAS? Not to mention everything the elves lost because of it? That veil?

It's all better now. Regardless of the Lore. Because Solas bound his life force to it. So instead of a quick bandage being pulled off to get rid of the veil that really does need to go (y'know if Bioware writers actually gave a rat's ass about the fucking lore of the world they're writing in)... Now it's there until Solas dies... which he can't really do easily being one of the first Elves. Sooooo by the very lore of the world they've crafted... THEDAS is now doomed to die.

Congrats Bioware. Well done. /s

Oh, but THAT doesn't matter. Because everything from the very beginning of DAO has been 'influenced' by 'the ones from across the sea'.

Pardon me while I gag.

The entirety of THEDAS and everything that's ever gone wrong with it is the fault of 'the foreigners from across the sea who wear clothing that's kiiiinda a lot like a Burqa.' Y'know... the black over gowns and veils Afghani women and some other Muslim folks wear?

Cause... uh... yeah. That's a GREAT idea. I legitimately cannot believe they went there. I just... I can't. Bioware hasn't ever really been great on the racism front but I'd hoped they'd gotten at least a little bit better.

Nooooope.

There were a couple of mentions of something like 'the gathering storm' in Taash's quests and how she's a weapon against them. HUGE spoiler I'm sure, but I'm pretty sure they want to make a game that deals with 'the foreign invaders who have been subtly influencing everything wearing black burqas and veils' as the next Dragon Age. Or maybe they'll call it a spin off since it has to be getting close to the end of the actual Dragon Age in the calendar.

I really hope I'm not the only one who can see the issues there. Not that I expect Bioware to. Honestly? I used to pray that DAV would save Bioware. I've liked them as a company for a while, but this is it for me. I'm done.

I might enjoy the first three DA games occasionally if I feel like it. But DAV does not exist for me. Anything they make going forward does not exist for me. That fucking bullshit about no one having had any free choices in the entire history of the games/books/comics etc.? AND the next game's bad guys looking like they wear burqas?

Bioware has made my boycott list. And I honestly hope they sink like the fucking Titanic for the shit they've pulled in DAV and that last fucking scene.

With that scene, they not only shit on many cultures who veil, they shit specifically on Afghani people who are required to wear that. Whether they want to or not.

They also, from a writing perspective, removed every single bit of agency from any of their previous characters. Making every single game pointless in the history of the world.

I'm just done. My boycott list is pretty long. I have these pesky standards. I'd already compromised them by continuing on with playing Bioware games regardless of their well known issues. But nope. Done. Finite. Time to cut the rope and watch it sink.

I would never, in a million years, recommend this game. On those two reasons alone. But also because it doesn't do anything a good CRPG (Computer Role Playing Game) is supposed to do very well.

It doesn't hold up the Dragon Age expectations for anyone who has played the games or enjoyed the lore. They basically shoved all the lore under the proverbial carpet. (Must have made a hell of a lump. That's a LOT of Lore. Trust me. I know. I've marinated myself in it.) On the surface it LOOKS like a CRPG. It has the elements of one... but so few of the elements are carried through that it's kinda shocking to me that they dared to advertise it as one. I mean... didn't someone tell them pissing off people by advertising something they aren't delivering is a bad idea?

It's full of easily fixable plot holes. Seriously, they'd be so easy to fix! They just didn't bother.

Where DAI was an intricately woven adult CRPG masterpiece? DAV is a poorly woven bedsheet with arm sized holes in it and lots and lots of stains. Made for kids.

CRPGs have a long history. Bioware and Dragon Age do too. DAO came out in 2009, Dragon Age 2 released in 2011, both were solid CRPGs. You felt like you were playing a role playing game. Bioware then released DAI in 2014. And in the Dragon Age series, DAI is the crown jewel.

It had everything a CRPG is supposed to have. It wasn’t perfect, no, but it's definitely the best of all 4 games for being what it's supposed to be.

CRPGs generally do not challenge the player as far as manual dexterity or physical response time. That's for action/fighting games. I'm not a professional level gamer. But gaming is my number one hobby and source of entertainment. I play on hard level for most games I play, if not ultra hard. I struggled with the shitty DAV fighting system. Dear gods, who had the brilliant idea of tying accumulation of skill points to how high your bond is with your companions? That's just... the kindest thing I can say is poorly thought out. Especially when you can only take two of them with you on missions. My not-a-fucking-rogue should never have had aggro. And they always did. I'm intimately acquainted with the inside the mouth animations on the dragons.

RPGs are supposed to have intricate, layered world building, a levelling system that makes your characters grow and develop as they progress through a well developed world, often they have fighting, puzzles, and other mechanics to spice things up. But there's some very specific things an RPG needs. And DAV has so few of them. They focussed so much on that shitty gods damned fighting system that had my not-a-fucking-rogue always plastered with the 'come eat me' aggro flag that they failed to deliver on so much else that an RPG needs to have. Especially a CRPG.

I think I heard someone on the dev team say they were quite happy with how the characters and romances came out and um. Well. Might I politely suggest learning how to write better? Cause they weren't. From both a professional and consumer level? They just weren't good.

The characters were dishwater boring with no character development possible. The romances were... not. I'll just leave it there.

Those are a few things I KNOW I'm good at. Just because my fans have told me often enough that I've almost internalized it by now. What? Characterization, writing intimate scenes, and writing romance. My writing voice is very love/hate like many authors. If you love my voice and read kinky romance, you'd probably like it. If you don't like my voice? No story I tell will satisfy you. But from an editorial and writing standpoint? The characters and romances in DAV needed so much work. As much as the plot.

I'm no stranger to trauma. And yes. I did it to myself. I needed to play the ending for myself and I wanted to see what the game was like. I feel traumatized. Abso-fucking-lutely traumatized.

If you're Solavellan and looking for reviews to tell you whether it's worth buying and playing? It. Is. Not. On any level.

Oh and you know those Steam Achievements you get? At the beginning they were like in the high 90s and 80s percentages. The last two I got were from the end game. 2.2% and 6.8%. Respectively. According to my kid (who usually knows more than I do about things like that) that means people stopped playing before they got there. (Or possibly just haven't gotten there yet. I did play it reasonably fast because of my current circumstances.)

I really wish I could say better things about this game. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the other three. As much as I've loved most Dragon Age material. Something about it just captured me. Until DAV.

More professional review to follow at some point.

If my review series has been helpful... and I really really hate to ask, but if it has been? My work of words is my family's only income. My partner is still recovering from a broken back, and I'm recovering from a pulmonary embolism. Money is so tight it squeaks. If you're not gonna buy the game anyway after reading my blather, a tip would surely be appreciated.

All my links are at the bottom of my website. And the tips button up top is set up too.

My response to breaking media blackout.

[blueares]

Ender Magnolia Mini Review/Ramble

So, it's been a couple days since I beat Ender Magnolia, and I have some thoughts. Right off the bat, though, I wanna: absolutely amazing game, definitely worth playing. About as close as I feel like one can get to a 10/10 Metroidvania.

That said, I've been conflicted on whether or not I think this game beats out Ender Lilies, and I have come to a conclusion: mechanically yes, narratively no. The gameplay does feel like a pretty solid evolution of Ender Lilies.

While I did initially miss having two sets of spirits you can rotate between, having four homunculi at my disposal at a time, all with unlimited uses, was definitely a worthy trade-off. The system as a whole was also streamlined significantly. Not counting traversal abilities, you only really get eight combatants this time around... But since each of them has three abilities you can swap between at respites, the number is functionally more like twenty-four.

I am slightly remiss at the like of primary spirits this time around, but I suppose Nola's three forms really do cover most of what you'd want for your default attack. Just a little weird to be that the ranged equivalent doesn't come in until quite a bit later, but that's really more a nitpick.

Now, as for the story... Spoilers below, but I'll just say here and now that I don't think it was bad by any means, just a little confused.

In Ender Lilies, the story has basically already happened. You play through the aftermath of the kingdom's downfall, following a breadcrumb trail of memories and mementos to peace together who you are, what happened to Land's End, and ultimately where the mysterious woman who looks like you has disappeared to. You can choose to either forego the danger of your quest to seek respite in another land, or uncover the truth and save the souls of this doomed nation, letting hope for a better future bloom when the Rain of Death finally subsides.

In Ender Magnolia, you start out doing much the same: waking up in a strange place with an amnesiac protagonist/guardian, both of whom seek answers as to who they are. This time, though, the nation isn't completely screwed just yet. Blight is still an issue, but the Land of Fumes is surviving thanks to advancements in technology and there are actual people to interact with.

The issue really starts when you reach the Central Stratum and meet Gilroy: a Homunculus who both oversees the entire country while running rampant due to Blight infestation. The story basically diverges from here as you now have two objectives: continue to search for Lilia, the woman in Lilac's memories, and bring an end to Gilroy's reign of terror.

You ultimately have to face Gilroy as the final boss either way, but doing so without a certain Relic means that Nola sacrifices herself to refresh the barrier keeping the Rain of Death at bay... The Blight itself, however, is still very much a problem.

Ending B involves uncovering the truth behind Lilia, the mysterious woman and basically Fretia equivalent this time around, and by association you learn more about Lady Abelia: a character who feels like a potential antagonist in her own right.

Long story short, Abelia is basically a sleeper agent for the Ancients. A lone note you find in the Land of Origin reveals that she's not merely a descendant of the White Priestesses; she was one that actually lived during the Time of the Ancients, back when the First King basically wiped them off the map.

We already knew that the Blight infestation plaguing these lands was their final, spiteful act toward the invaders, but what we didn't know was that the Ancients had placed their trust in a lone White Priestess to help them reclaim their home after the Blight had torn down the invaders. Abelia was apparently reincarnating herself over what I presume to be at least a couple centuries by placing her soul into new bodies, and Lilia was meant to be her vessel...

Until Nola and Joran intervened, basically putting a halt to that entire plan by killing Abelia off-screen. That just feels... A tad wasteful to me, if I'm being honest. Like, Abelia is playing the longest of long cons, acting as a major political figure in the Land of Fumes while seemingly plotting its downfall (and presumably that of the other nations as well), all to enact vengeance on behalf of her people.

While the rest of Houses Frost and Milius have their own concerns, Abelia is basically the true villain hiding right under their noses, but the most we ever get of her is the Lorna flashback that shows her sudden death. It really feels like she should have had a bigger impact...

Similarly, Lilia feels a little underbaked as well. Not quite the same extreme, but as I said before: she is effectively this game's Fretia, even sacrificing herself and hiding away deep underground to keep a Blight infestation in check (or try to.) We learn from flashbacks that she's effectively Lilac's adopted mother, goes around tending to and befriending several boss characters, has a whole motif with white flowers... Again, basically everything the Priestess of the Fount did in the first game.

In spite of that, the reunion with her felt less... Impactful this time, I suppose. Like I'm not saying I wanted or needed another Blighted Lord (definitely not), but it's a serious shame that we don't at least get to Lilia doing her part with the Pillar of Purification when the True Ending hits.

Really, I think that's the single biggest issue with the game as a whole: despite having a cast of actual characters you can interact with, it feels like a lot of their individual storylines and quests aren't as fleshed out as they could be. Gordon, Levy, Heath, Yarrow, Cassia, No. 7's friends... It feels like they just kind of stop mattering to the plot after a certain point, which really sucks. Like, the crew from the Arena Tower basically just get themselves killed off-screen, and most of the humans just linger in one spot forever once their quests are complete, not even getting new dialogue to reflect changes in the story.

At the very least, it would have been nice to know how everyone else reacted to the sudden disappearance of magic in Ending B, or maybe have some brief dialogue with Lilac discussing the plan with them get a feel for everyone's thoughts and feelings on the matter.

All of that aside though, again: the story itself isn't bad. If anything, the fact that I like these characters enough that I wish they got to say and do more is a testament to the quality overall. If there's ever a third Ender Flowers game, I do hope they'll continue to expand on this idea. No idea what Origin Magic disappearing means for the future of this franchise, but I'm sure the good folks at Binary Haze can think of something...

[bibibbon]

Finished chapter 4 for besties and it was easier making it (hahaha let's ignore the grammar) but making Yumi rejecting her lifelong dream of Endy magically became better is powerful. Why? If am is a bad father...what's the point?

I kind feel she would be sort of an am hater and would brew some resement towards heroes, maybe not all. But a good number of them.

(I feel the line "heroes only hurt their families" that stans swear is deep, IS NOT, WORKS much better with Yumi. Hell, could see she looking a bit more on Stain. Yes, he is a serial killer but the idea heroes aren't perfect will finally kick in)

(I felt bad for Yumi...her family is always messed up. She tried so hard but you can't fix this! Which sort paralels with Izumi.)

And god...Izumi is not used to be treated decently...or maybe even the decency is seen as smth outwardly...no one in A1 cares but B1 is noticing. Vlad takes one look at her and can sense smth is off....why? Bc her trauma is visible (her abuser also isn't smart)

My question here is: how else should have a different view on heroes? Yumi is in the list, Izumi is on the list as well...but who else?

Hi @mikeellee 👋

It's great to hear that you already finished chapter 4 I will make sure to beta read it soon!

I like the idea you have of making fuyumi reject and put down her life-long dream of having a perfect family, but why would she do it? For me, it's quite hard to believe that just because she thinks that all might is an abusive and bad father to izumi, she would ditch her dream just like that. I would agree and say that all might turning out to be a bad father could be a catalyst and could contribute to her ditching that life-long dream she had, but I don't think she would just ditch the dream like that.

Fuyumi's desire for a functional and loving family affects her character all around. The reason she has such a dream isn't just because of the human desire to be loved by both parents but also the desire for both normality and conformity. Fuyumi doesn't want to be anything special. She is happy to fit in, to have what every other average character should have. She wants love, she wants care and she wants a family. Yes, she has family members that she very much loves and is close to like natsou, but her desire isn't just for family but for conformity and normality. Her dream is your basic overglorifed nuclear family, and that's exactly what she kept up the outside image as for decades.

Fuyumi (not as much as her other family members) does probably glorify all Might. She, within her wish and desire for normality and conformity, adapts to be likeable and to share the same opinions as the general public. Due to this desire and fake image that she has intraculety crafted for this amazing outside persona, a part of it seeps to her true self. This includes her admiration for all might. She believes that he is what's good with society. To her, there is that devil of a father and an angle of society carrying and promising good for all. Yes, this would have dimmed over the years as she is stripped of her naivety little by little. Little by little hope and optimism in being magically saved by the man who promises comfort for all drizzles down the drain. Yet even now, when she is all fully grown, a part of her subconsciously clings to that fairytale dream all of that until the all might incident/scandal when All Might is revealed to be a bad father.

Like I said, all mights reveal is a catalyst for fuyumi. It sends her spiralling. She knows that people aren't who they seem to be, heck she isn't who she pretends to be, her father is the devil in disguise and as a teacher she has been trained and quickly learnt the quick disguses and images that parents put up to paint themselves as perfect along with their children. She has seen it all, she already knows it all so why is she so disappointed?

She has read various psychology books, and she has a degree in education where she has minored in psychology, yet she is left hollow, numb. The incident sends her digging and digging she does. It seems like she can't escape it every turn she sees an article of the incident or of another hero being outed out for being an abuser a monster in disguise. These are the people that she was taught to trust. People like her father devil's cosplaying angels. First, it's Endeavour, her father. Second, it's all Might. Third, it's another hero and then another and another all until they become numbers on a page, and it drives fuyumi nuts.

It's a ticking slow and painful realisation, but "all heroes do is hurt their family.'

Enji hurt his family

All Might hurt his family

They aren't worthy of being heroes. Digging and digging, she finds a certain someone who shares her views, a vigilante serial killer arrested a while back by enji: Stain, the hero killer.

A part of her agrees with Stain (parallel with dabi) she believes that he has information that he knows which heroes are good and bad, so she looks at his kills and sees if it adds up. She finds varying results some good some bad. Yet she clings to hope (well, until she meets dabi and he breaks the news to her) or when shoto tells her about what Stain did to him and his friends.

All of this build up, fuyumi feels like she is going to explode so she opens up to natsou who reveals to her that he was also involved in the situation and tells her his prespective which for matter could solidify her reasoning or not.

Days pass, and natsou like her is still in disbelief. The abuse comparisons between all Might and enji don't fall on death ears but further reinforce fuyumi's spiralling.

"Heroes only hurt their families." It's true she has seen it. She has lived it, and she has experienced it.

All of this bitter boiling anger leads to her slowly becoming detached from that dream of hers as she would rather live with natosu, shoto, and her mother then have that monster be apart of her family.

Maybe during her spiral fuyumi could think of wanting to kill enji which would parallel with dabi and izumi.

[crooked-wasteland]

Hazbin Rewrite Ideas

Since I have gotten about 3 asks now on how I would rewrite Hazbin Hotel, here are some actual ideas for a rewrite and why I think they would function as a cohesive narrative and not just metanarrative themes.

Adam is Second in Command

Adam being both the head of the exorcists as well as Sera being a terrible overseer and uninterested in what Adam is doing makes no sense. Even with the argument being that she's concerned about Hell rising up, it doesn't explain why she wouldn't take more control of the exorcists. She basically allows them to govern themselves and relies heavily on Adam of all people. In Season 2 they are trying to make her morally grey with how she comes to regret the exterminations after Pentious is proven capable of redemption, but it is undercut by how she treated Sinners as subhuman.

If they are in heaven, they deserve to be a person and if they go to Hell they don't. But it solidifies this idea that people need to prove they are worthy of respect, love, and life. Which is the fundamental core of White Supremacist ideology. Most racists have exceptions to their dogma, because those individuals "proved themselves" in some way or manner that they are deserving of respect. Usually by being useful or successful.

This framing is not removed just because Sera is black coded. Racist ideology is racist ideology regardless of what color it comes in. And even if you love the show, it is paramount to understand that the people behind the series are going to have their own beliefs and agendas that are still going to be filtered through Medrano's beliefs. And even if this is the result of a hired writer or not, it didn't touch Medrano that this sort of thinking is the definition of implicit racism.

As such, adding distance between Sera and Adam would have made it less scathing on her and show more of the bureaucratic "red tape" that I think was supposed to be somewhere in Heaven. Based on the first and sixth episodes, I feel like that was what they were trying to get across with Peter's panic over Charlie "not on the list" as well as her signing a contract just to meet with Adam. But it is so glossed over it may as well not be there at all.

And while I definitely do criticize Medrano when adding more characters to a cast, it usually comes from the fact that the additions do nothing to balance the cast and the story. Often adding new plot threads rather than integrating into existing ones. But here it is necessary. Add another Angel to be in charge of exterminators and Adam, who also reports back to Sera. Someone who is not objectively bloodthirsty, they are just doing their job (The Banality of Evil is a great reference). Meanwhile Sera is the one actually in control, but doesn't actually want to get too involved with the details because she finds the human impact of her decisions too upsetting.

She takes in numbers and facts without wanting to really know anything. So when Charlie goes to meet with Heaven, it should be Adam and his boss. Adam being insufferable and contrarian while his boss is apathetic and diplomatic would have made a better dynamic than having Adam and Adam2.0 (Lute). Having differences in personalities allows for more range of interactions.

Or, if you want to be more radical and clean up some of the fluff to the story, recycle a character into this role. Emily being Adam's superior actually sets a strong foundation for why they would even entertain and compromise.

I wouldn't have had this happen in the first episode either. Instead have it be episode 4 or 5 and keep everything in Hell, just have the interaction occur through the embassy.

And that isn't to say get rid of Lute. In fact, making her the second in command to the second in command is a perfect representation of Pick-Me Post-Feminism.

Rework the Timeline and Primary Threat

The 6 month timeline was a bad idea. It's clear they thought they had enough content to have an extermination at the end of the season, but no idea how to adapt to episode constraints. It makes no sense why the timeline is condensed to 6 months when we don't even see things happening in the show. Changes are practically instantaneous after a song and such songs are not a genuine show or reflection of the characters' wants and needs. It's a moment that "seems good for a song".

It also never confirms why they are reducing the time.

I actually like the Conan idea Anon supplied. Where the reveal of the dead Angel is what causes the growing tension. I would probably have cut the first 3 episodes to focus on one character each, similar to Creature Commandos did towards the end of the series.

For some reference, the show starts with the characters playing off each other and building their dynamics before going into their back stories. And the last 4 episodes, while balancing the current stories of the entire cast, tackle each monster's backstory one by one. They start with a sense of familiarity, so it makes sense to hold off on explaining their pasts until the story starts building tension. Interspersing it with the rising action towards the climax allows the audience to attach themselves to the characters in a complex manner. They aren't made one note for some tragic backstory to them excuse all the lives they take later on. You see them grapple with and indulge in their darkest self while also seeing where their humanity has been buried at the same time. You delight in their gratuitous violence and the carnage they leave while also wishing them happiness. Extremely contradictory emotions being balanced simultaneously is how you can quickly endear an audience to a group of sympathetic assholes. And James Gunn is one of the best writers for that trope.

So for the first few episodes I would focus on the characters' relationships with each other. Angel Dust not really participating, Vaggie being defensive of Charlie while also seeing Angel Dust as a lost cause, and Charlie desperately trying to instill change but not understanding Angel or Vaggie well enough because she is essentially a Hellborne Half-angel. Having her struggling to connect to sinners would have been an excellent source of narrative conflict early on.

It works with the B plot of episode 1 and connects better to the Pilot. Additionally, it builds a foundation for Lilith's motivations. Apparently in season 2 it is revealed she raised an army before vanishing, so focusing on Sinners rejecting Charlie during this time makes the most sense. It even allows some fanatics to accuse Charlie of being a traitor to even her own Mother. There is also an opportunity to bait at the idea of Charlie not being Lilith's daughter, but actually Eve's.

Keeping with the angel being killed in the extermination, have a rising tension be that exterminators have supposedly been spotted in the Pride Ring. Maybe they are searching for the missing angel and that is causing rising uncertainty and thus paranoia and desperation. It also can act as motivation for Sinners to go to Charlie. And Charlie sees this "threat of punishment" moving people to believe in her. What it means to rule through fear and how desperation creates Christ figures.

The exterminators find the dead Angel and are planning a preemptive mass scale invasion. No longer are they just thinking numbers, this is now war. And have the meeting between Heaven and Charlie be based on that. Heaven is meeting with Lucifer to basically say all bets are off and, if he wants to keep his family safe, they need to leave the Pride Ring before a specific time.

It shows that international hostilities are never so complete that the wealthy and powerful still look after each other. Even when they are supposedly enemies. It shows the nuance and complexities of class solidarity and diplomacy. It gives the foundations of how power becomes corrupt and how community and recognition supercedes even ideology.

And this is where Charlie meets with Adam and his commander and she has to make a deal. She can't call off another extermination, it is happening whether she likes it or not. But what if the only safe place is the Hotel? She explains her little rehab center and how she is trying to find a better way to reduce tension between Hell and Heaven by redeeming her people. Adam is opposed emotionally, talking about how undeserving they are and how their punishment has already been given, only to be silenced by his diplomatic superior.

The issue then is how many people would be sincere in their redemption if it was known that running to the hotel would make them safe? Every room would be packed to bursting as every sinner ran to save themselves and immediately abandon Charlie and her project once it was no longer convenient to them. Especially because they don't know how their exterminator was killed.

If Charlie wishes to spare her pet project, she needs to give them a good reason not to just go to war. Things will go back to normal, yearly exterminations included, but the deal with Lucifer would be amended to include Charlie's hotel as being safe only if she can find the murderer and bring them before Heaven for their final judgement.

Connect this storyline to the Vs. Carmella works under Vox but keeps her angelic weapon to herself because it's the only thing that can kill a Sinner. Maybe she is planning to kill the Vs herself because they keep control of her through her daughters. Maybe Valentino had them abducted to empower Vox over Carmella and take her territory. They are Val's victims in human trafficking and political plays, but during the extermination, Carmella took advantage of the situation and stole them back. Knowing that it would be assumed the people in charge of watching over her girls were killed by the angels and no one would necessarily look for her girls for the same reason.

Only for them to be attacked by an exorcist while fleeing and Carmella was forced to kill the angel to save them all. And because of that, she's trying to lay low and stay quiet during this whole situation to not raise suspicion that she has her daughters, or that it was her who killed the angel. Meanwhile Charlie is hunting her down to try and save her hotel. And this way Angel Dust's narrative with Valentino directly folds into the conflict where he can be a tool for Charlie and the narrative to get information on Carmella and solve the case.

There are multiple opportunities one could take with these ideas and not all of them are necessary to greenlight. If you don't want to suggest Eve could be Charlie's real mother, you don't have to. But if you enjoy playing with your audience and have an idea of how the reveal one way or the other would go, it's an opportunity. And the fact remains that you sometimes have to cut ideas.

But those are just some ideas and why and how I would have implemented them if I were to rewrite Hazbin Hotel.