#this ended up being longer than I intended

[harmony-heaven]

I completely agree that Harry is a very powerful wizard. Everyone but Snape seems to agree on that point. However, I feel most of these particular examples are a demonstration of how strong Harry’s bond with his wand is.

He's absolutely devastated when it is broken in DH. More than you'd expect for a 'broken tool'. And the way it fights for him in the Battle of Seven Potters is basically unheard of.

"Harry took it into his hands as though it was a living thing that had suffered a terrible injury."

Harry is so intimately tied to his wand he can cast magic through it at distance and by thought when in duress.

Which is another reason I love that Hermione can canonically use Harry’s wand perfectly. A wand so entwined to Harry. One of the first objects he ever owned and one central to his new status as a magic user. And she can just pick it up and use it without even noticing it's not her own. As he can easily use hers.

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wand, tapped the lock, and whispered, "Alohamora!"

Ron struggled through PS and CoS with Charlie's old wand. Neville was thought basically a squib coz he used his dad's old wand. Wands dont switch allegiance easy and if they do, the old user would then have issues mastering it again. But Harry and Hermione used each other's wands to cast powerful magic without even seeming to realise they've done so.

The trust they have for the most important magical item in their lives is extended to one another as well. Right from PS, before the troll incident even as Hermione uses Harry’s wand to open Fluffy's door.

And later, Harry casts Lumos using Hermione’s wand while following Snape's patronus, lays the still lit wand down next to the pond and jumps in.

He stepped to the pool's edge and placed Hermione’s wand on the ground, still lit.

He never once complains about it being uncomfortable or hard to use. Whereas he definitely considers how unfamiliar the Snatcher wand Ron provided is.

The new one felt intrusively unfamiliar, like having somebody else's hand sewn to the end of his arm.

... she could take the blackthorn wand if she thought it made no difference, and he would have hers instead.

Harry didn't win the wands allegiance so it doesn't work well for him. But Hermione’s worked perfectly. Never even a hint that it doesn't work well for him. He casts instinctively with it.

I cannot think of anywhere else that people use someone else's wand without at least some struggle against the wands bond to the owner. Except these two. It's as if they both share both wands from the very start.

Sorry that got a lot longer than I intended. Guess I'm not writing any of my fanfic this morning, lol.

Harry can cast spells wandlessly in canon

I'm always going about how Harry's magic is super powerful and works insanely intuitively. How he can sense magic and make spells do whatever he needs them to do at the moment. And I was innocently reading the dementor attack in OotP when I encountered yet another moment of Harry's magic being insane that I haven't brought up before:

A fist made contact with the side of Harry’s head, lifting Harry off his feet. Small white lights popped in front of Harry’s eyes; for the second time in an hour he felt as though his head had been cleaved in two; next moment he had landed hard on the ground, and his wand had flown out of his hand. “You moron, Dudley!” Harry yelled, his eyes watering with pain, as he scrambled to his hands and knees, now feeling around frantically in the blackness. He heard Dudley blundering away, hitting the alley fence, stumbling. [...] “DUDLEY, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Wand!” Harry muttered frantically, his hands flying over the ground like spiders. “Where’s — wand — come on — Lumos!” He said the spell automatically, desperate for light to help him in his search — and to his disbelieving relief, light flared inches from his right hand — the wand tip had ignited. Harry snatched it up, scrambled to his feet, and turned around.

(OotP, Ch1)

Reading this made me so excited becouse:

1. Harry casts Lumos without touching his wand, without any wand movement, nothing. He just says the spell while meaning it and it's enough to light up his wand.

Like, that's an insane feat of magic!

Like, Harry pulls shit like this on the regular and people still say he isn't that powerful. Harry may not be all finesse and elegance when it comes to spellcasting, but he's got the raw talent in spades.

So, in canon, in OotP, Harry lights up his wand without even holding it. Harry, canonicly has a talent for wandless magic if he wants to do something with it.

Hell, earlier when the dementors just arrived Harry thought he was causing the darkness for a moment so he's at least somewhat aware of how his magic works:

For a split second Harry thought he had done magic without meaning to, despite the fact that he’d been resisting as hard as he could — then his reason caught up with his senses — he didn’t have the power to turn off the stars.

(OotP, Ch1)

Meaning Harry is somewhat aware he can do magic without meaning to and he is actively resisting it in this scene! That's what he is saying.

2. This is a possible interpretation of the first quote, but it's a bit more speculative: Harry might've summoned his wand wandlessly by calling for it.

In the scene, Harry shouts for his wand while scrambling on the ground blind for it. It's unclear how far the wand originally flew, but I think it's possible to read the passage as Harry summoning the wand toward his hand since he finds it right under his fingers even though, he likely felt the ground in that exact spot before, almost as if the wand just appeared there.

Harry calling "wand" working as a summoning charm wouldn't actually be that far off from other magical feats we see from him (I already mentioned this one in the past but I'm not over it):

Dust swirled around Harry like mist, catching the blue gaslight, as Mrs. Black continued to scream. “Mudbloods, filth, stains of dishonor, taint of shame on the house of my fathers—“ “SHUT UP!” Harry bellowed, directing his wand at her, and with a bang and a burst of red sparks, the curtains swung shut again, silencing her

(DH, Ch9)

He cast "shut up" as a spell. No wand movement, no incantation, nothing. And it worked on closing the curtains on Walburga's portrait, something the entire Order of the Phoenix couldn't do magically and struggled with manually! And here, 17-year-old Harry just shuts her up with his will alone basically.

So, yeah, Harry's insanely powerful and he is Voldemort's equal.

[johnwickb1tsch]

lessons in anatomy XIII

a yandere art professor John Wick x drawing model muse! reader AU... (also featuring Matt from River's Edge. If you haven't seen the movie that's ok, I will fill in the gaps as we go...) warnings: dark adult themes, violence, sex, drugs, yandere shit. plz don't read if u can't handle it ->chapter map

XIII.

-You thought you’d done a good job talking yourself up to it, but you are so embarrassed, when you get up on the model stand, and it's time to start class…and you simply can't do it. You freeze, absolutely unable to bring yourself to take off your robe, to expose yourself again after your near brush with…whatever the fuck those creeps intended to do with you. 

“I…”

You don't even know where to begin to explain. You wait for John to say something cutting or sarcastic. To be a jerk about it, annoyed that you're stalling his class.

You watch warily as he approaches the model stand, hands in his pockets, the very picture of the brooding artist. Yet when he looks up at you…there’s an empathy in his dark eyes that squeezes your heart with a fist. He could have pushed you over with a feather when he asks, “Are you alright, y/n?”

Sadly, you shake your head, hugging yourself. “I’m…not sure I can do this right now. I'm so sorry.” You sway on your feet, and he must sense something wild inside you, a mare threatening to bolt, or a statue ready to tumble, because he holds up his hands as though to steady you–those large, eloquent hands with their impossibly long fingers.

You don’t know what possesses you, when you take his fingers in yours, holding on to him like he is a life line. They’re strong, and calloused, and for the first time since waking up after your mishap you feel somewhat anchored to the world around you. 

He lets you hold on to him, his expression softening for you the way it used to, before you had your heated little tiff over Matt’s work. His voice is low, and calming, acting like a balm for your troubled soul. 

“That's ok, y/n. It's your choice. Do you maybe think you could sit for us with your robe on?”

You think about it a few moments before nodding. 

“Alright.” He squeezes your fingers encouragingly. “Let's do some warm ups, then we'll pick a pose.”

You nod, and somehow, this small gesture of support empowers you again to do your thing. 

- You're not sure how he knew you needed it, but in the end you decide on a reclining pose. John produces blankets and pillows from the closet to make you a comfortable nest on the otherwise hard model stand, and you hate to admit it, but…you fall asleep. 

You haven't been sleeping well, and something about being here in this place you love, rather than your cold and lonely apartment fulfills something you've been missing the past few weeks. 

By some miracle, as though even your sleeping brain knows, you do not move from your position even in slumber. It takes a gentle hand upon your ankle to rouse you,  and you wake with a start to find John standing over you. 

The room is empty of students; through the windows you can see that night has fallen outside. Fuck.

“I'm so sorry,” you immediately apologize, bolting up right. The class ends at six. How much longer did you keep him here?

“It’s ok,” he says in his soothing baritone. “Are you…ok, y/n?”

You look at him looking at you so earnestly with those infinite dark eyes–it ties you up in knots, and you feel like you can't hide a thing from him. Like…he already knows, and just wants to give you an outlet to talk about it, if you want. 

“Something …bad happened at the Monster Masque,” you admit in a whisper, looking fixedly at the corner of your blanket beneath you. “I've just…felt weird, ever since.” 

His frown is like a thunderhead, forbidding and beautiful. “Do you need help, y/n?”

You shake your head. “No. I think…the matter is closed.”

“Oh?”

“I think…someone took care of it for me.”

“Who?”

“I…don't know. Maybe someone I met at the ball. I think…” You look to him, drowning, and you can't help but compare his stare to the black satin shine of your Lone Wolf’s eyes. Dear lord, do you have a type. “I think he saved me.” 

John lifts a single dark brow to this. “Sounds like you have a guardian angel, y/n.” 

A shaky little laugh escapes you. “Yeah.” You think that guardian demon might be more likely, but you don’t say it aloud. 

When you dismount from the modeling stand the concrete floor is shockingly hard and cold beneath your feet; your leg tingles with pins and needles, having fallen asleep. You take a step and would have stumbled–-but John catches you, holding you in his strong arms. 

You swear you didn’t do it on purpose, but you find it’s a very nice place to be. There is something hauntingly familiar about being held like this, tucked against his chest with his arms around you. You look up at him from so very close, and you realize something is different. 

“You cut off your beard,” you say, maybe with way more wonder in your voice than the observation actually warrants, but there's something about being able to see the sharp lines of his jaw that moves you to your toes. 

“I trimmed a little.” He doesn't scold you for staring at him like a star struck idiot. He seems…content, to stand like this with you, while you are reeling in this bottomless freefall into deja-vu.

He has a distractingly beautiful mouth, lips full and infuriatingly kissable. You cannot tear your eyes from the lower half of his face; the sum total of its lines strum some forgotten chord inside you.

Is it possible?

Your memory is so fractured from that night. Nothing is clear amidst the bits and pieces that remain to you. The gaps are large as a canyon in your mind, yawning fissures in the landscape of your memory. Whatever those boys drugged you with…it really fucked you up, and just thinking about it makes you want to hide under John Wick’s chin and not come out for a week. 

You decide that you are wishfully projecting your hopes onto this man. That he had much better things to be doing on Halloween, than masquerading around in an animal costume just to flirt with you. 

“Have you been eating, y/n?” he asks, squeezing your sides gently. You suppose he remembers how much padding you had from the last time you were in his hands. The memory of that lightning-charged squabble compared to how he handles you now makes you weak all over again. 

You shrug, embarrassed for some reason. “Not…well.” 

He nods, because he already knew the answer. “Come home for dinner with me.”

“I…would hate to bother you.” Deep down you want to say yes, and yet you cannot shake the dogged mantle of your hesitance. 

“No bother. I think it would be good for you.” 

He's being polite, yet there is a firm insistence in his tone that leaves no further room for argument.

“Okay.” You manage to keep the tremor out of your voice as you agree, and you decide to give yourself a point for bravery. Your score’s been running in the negatives lately, and maybe this will be good for you.

Or maybe you'll ruin it, the way you ruin everything, eventually.

TBC...

___

->chapter map pinterest board/ photo credits

[savannagonemad]

shelter in your arms

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fluff ✨

kang sae-byeok x fem!reader

wordcount: 3.3k

author's note: my first post! i hope you like it! i had this idea a day or so ago and i think it all came together pretty well 💚 also this ended up being a lottt longer than i intended but i got kinda invested lol oops. not really proofread so sorry if there's mistakes!!

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you had finally convinced sae-byeok to go on a camping trip with you. you weren't even sure where the idea came from, yourself - you've never been too interested in camping to begin with. the more you thought about it, though, the better of an idea it seemed like to you.

your lives had been stressful, to say the least. you had gotten evicted from your apartment and had to move in with sae-byeok or else you'd be homeless. she was skeptical at first, but you've known her long enough that she got used to it pretty quickly. the pressure of this, combined with the general crazyness of life, had been wearing you out, and you could tell it was dragging on sae-byeok as well, though she tried to hide it.

when you had first brought up the idea, she was surprised, to say the least.

"y/n, do you even own camping gear?" she said, not even looking up from her phone.

"do you really think i would suggest this if i didn't have the stuff for it?" you huffed, crossing your arms.

"knowing you, kind of," she said, glancing up at you for a moment.

"hey!" you said, pretending to be offended.

she didn't say anything in return, though you could see a slight smirk on her face.

over the next few days, you kept bringing it up and trying to convince her that it was a good idea, but she wasn't having it. eventually though, after a lot of convincing (and a fair share of whining at her), she agreed to go.

"fine," she said, looking up at you from where she was reading on the couch.

"really?" you said, surprised. you were beginning to think about giving up on the idea.

"something tells me you won't stop bothering me about it until i say yes," she said, setting her book off to the side. "and besides, it's just getting colder out, and i don't want to do it while it's freezing outside."

for the next few days, the two of you planned out where you would go. you settled on a two-day trip over the weekend at a site next to a river. as the day of your trip apprached, you found yourself strangely excited for it. before you knew it, the day arrived, and you and sae-byeok packed your gear and loaded it into the car. sae-byeok insisted on driving, mostly because she didn't trust your driving, especially not with her car.

"i can't believe i let you drag me into this," she said as she pulled out of her parking space.

"come on, it'll be fun! and it'll be nice to get away from... everything, i guess," you said, looking out the window as you begin driving down the road.

"i guess," sae-byeok said, glancing at you in the rearview mirror for a moment. you looked into the mirror at the same time and she quickly looked away, focusing on the road.

the two of you made small talk as you drove to your destination, most of the topics being of little interest to you both. it was more of an excuse to talk to her - something the two of you didn't do much, despite being roommates. occasionally you would catch her glancing at you in the mirror, and she would act like nothing was happening. after a couple more times of this, you got sick of it and decided to confront her.

"why do you keep looking at me?" you asked, fully looking over at her in the driver's seat.

"i need to look in the mirror to drive, y/n," she stated, pretending not to know what you were talking about.

"i didn't know staring at the passenger was part of driving," you contested, drawing a noise of complaint from sae-byeok.

"it's nothing," she said, dismissing the topic.

you huffed but let it go. after all, it's not like you wouldn't have time to talk to her about it later.

after a few silent minutes of driving, you decided to try something. you looked into the mirror directly at sae-byeok and stared her down, waiting to see if you could catch her looking at you again. as you looked at your roommate, you couldn't help notice her facial features that you hadn't paid much attention to before - her freckles, her haircut which was strangely cute despite being very fitting, and her eyes which you swore suddenly were a lot prettier than you remember them being.

"you can stop staring at me now," she said, interrupting your daze. apparently you were looking at her for longer than you thought.

"sorry," you mumbled, looking away as you blushed in mild embarrassment.

you tried not to look at her for the remainder of the drive, but you couldn't help yourself a few times, though fortunately she didn't catch you again.

eventually you both arrived at the campsite entrance and sae-byeok parked the car letting both of you out. the two of you grabbed your gear and sae-byeok locked the car, then you started walking towards the entrance.

"how far is it to where we're going?" sae-byeok asked as you started walking together.

"i think it's about a ten minute walk or so," you said, subconsciously matching her walking pace. "why, are you tired of me already?" you teased, grinning slightly.

"i might be if you keep talking like that," she replied. "i can always leave you here," she said, the joke being a nice break from her usual cold self.

just as you were going to reply, your foot got caught on a branch and you stumbled, tripping and just barely missing landing on sae-byeok. luckily for you, you managed to catch yourself with your hands before faceplanting directly into the ground.

"y/n, are you okay?" sae-byeok asked, barely hidden concern in her voice. she crouched down next to you and helped you up as you avoided looking at her out of complete embarrassment.

you meekly accepted her help and the two of you stood up. you wanted to brush it off and keep walking but sae-byeok grabbed you by the shoulder and didn't let you keep going.

"i'm fine," you said, wanting to move on.

"let me see your hands," sae-byeok said, but you ignored her request. "now," she added, her voice firm but gentle.

you shyly offered your hands to her, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. she grabbed your wrists, looking over your palms closely to make sure you didn't accidentally cut yourself.

"just a few light scratches, luckily," she said, letting your hands go. as soon as your hands were free, you started walking forward again, much to sae-byeok's dismay.

"you're welcome," she chided as she followed after you, quickly matching your pace again.

"i don't want to talk about it. it was just a fall. nothing serious." you kept walking, sae-byeok keeping up with you and staying a little closer than before. she made a noise of complaint as you brushed her off but otherwise dropped the topic.

at least that's what you thought, until you felt her wrap her hand around your wrist protectively.

"what are you doing?" you asked, though not trying to pull away.

"making sure you don't fall again," she stated simply, keeping her eyes trained on the path ahead.

you didn't say anything else, mostly because you didn't know what to say. the physical attention did feel nice, though you definitely weren't going to say that out loud.

the two of you kept walking forward, her gripping your wrist protectively all the while.

"if you wanted to hold my hand, you could just say so..." you mumbled after a few minutes, causing sae-byeok to falter slightly.

"what." she said after briefly composing herself, looking over at you.

"nothing, nevermind," you replied, looking away as her gaze took your sudden confidence away.

you kept walking in silence for another minute before you felt sae-byeok's hand not-so-discreetly slip into yours, her fingers interlocking with yours so she could have a better grip. you glanced at her in surprise and saw a faint blush on her face, and you then locked your own fingers with hers. neither of you spoke a word about it until you subconsciously ran your thumb over the back of her hand.

"don't do that," she said, keeping her hand in yours. you quickly stopped and went back to focusing on walking.

"sorry," you apologized, not getting a response.

you were content enough as it is, even if this was just to make sure you didn't fall over like a bowling pin again. sae-byeok's sudden protectiveness over you was adorable whether she liked it or not, though that's definitely not something you would be admitting to her anytime soon.

finally, after a few more eventless minutes of walking, you got to the place where you would be setting up camp. sae-byeok removed her hand from yours, drawing a sound of complaint from you which she ignored as she began to unpack her stuff. you figured you should do the same and you begin to unpack too.

as you begin to unpack your gear, you looked around at the campsite. admittedly it was a very beautiful place - there were vibrant trees all around you, and you could hear the soft rushing of water from the river nearby. maybe you could get used to this. especially if sae-byeok was with you.

"don't fall into the river," sae-byeok called out as she began setting up her tent nearby.

"shut up," you retorted playfully as you begin setting up your own tent, embracing the whole 'clumsy' thing. apparently it means sae-byeok holds your hand, which is plenty of motivation for you.

after you get your tent arranged, you go over to check on sae-byeok, partially because you want to see how she's setting up her tent so you can make sure you're doing it right yourself.

"pretty nice place, isn't it?" you comment as you walk over. birds chirp in the trees as the soft rustling of the wind creates a surprisingly peaceful environment for being in nature.

"i guess," sae-byeok responds, pausing to look around, though keeping her back to you. "maybe you were right for once."

you pout and go to make a response of your own when the wind suddenly picks up, shaking some leaves off of the trees nearby. you hold your hand up to your eyes to shield yourself from the wind and wait for it to pass.

"told you," you finally manage to respond once the wind dies back down. you turn to finish setting up your tent - after all, it'll be dark soon and you definitely don't want to have to do it by the light of a fire.

your tent is gone.

you quickly walk forward towards where it was, looking down at the ground and hoping it'll magically appear again from wherever it's hiding. it does not. however, you do see the stakes you got out still lying on the ground right where you put them. your heart sinks as you realize you forgot to stake the tent down. the wind must have blown it away. which means...

you trail your eyes to where the wind blew, and you catch sight of your tent which has found a nice new home in the river.

"you cannot be serious," you say to yourself, getting sae-byeok's attention. she gets up and walks over, noticing your sudden lack of a tent.

"y/n, where's your tent?" she asks, coming to a stop beside you. you dejectedly point towards where it's floating away down the river. sae-byeok immediately covers her mouth with her hand and turns away from you, though you can see her shoulders shaking as she tries to conceal her laugh.

"it's not funny!" you say, whining at her. "where am i going to sleep now? in the river?"

sae-byeok gathers herself and turns to you, though there's still a small smirk on her face. "i'm guessing that was your only tent?"

"who brings more than one tent to a camping trip??" you complain, causing sae-byeok to giggle which draws another whine from you.

sae-byeok looks at you, then to the tent which is floating its way down the river like a boat. "do you want to go home?" she asks. she might find this funny but she wants to make sure you're actually alright.

you sigh. "no..." you start, fidgeting with your hands nervously. "we came all this way. i don't want to have dragged you out here for nothing..."

"you can stay in my tent then," she decides, turning back to go finish setting it up. "unless you want to fish yours out of the river."

"really? you don't mind?" you ask, trailing after her. the offer is really nice of her, though you suppose there's not really another choice.

"i'm not going to leave you outside in the cold," she responds coolly. "unless you want to sleep outside."

"no!" you say quickly. "it's just... i don't know. thank you."

"don't mention it. can you start a fire while i finish setting this up? preferably on land," she teases, getting complaints from you, though you do end up making yourself useful and start a fire for the both of you.

as the day turns to night and more banter between the two of you passes over a simple dinner cooked on the fire, it's soon time to turn in for the night, unless you'd like to stay outside and both become mosquito food. you follow sae-byeok into her tent where there's a grand total of one sleeping bag - yours was swept into the river along with the tent, and it's probably halfway to the ocean by now.

"uhh, sae? there's just one sleeping bag here," you observe. "and... one pillow."

"i can see that," she responds, kneeling down to open the sleeping bag.

"so... what are we supposed to do?" you ask. you're not too thrilled with the idea of sleeping without anything to cover you.

"it's big enough, we can share." sae-byeok looks up at you, speaking again before you can ask more questions. "it's either that or you keep us both awake because i just know you'll be shivering all night, your choice."

you fake pout at her while she lies down, scooting over to give you room. "thanks for this," you say as you lie down next to her, leaving a bit a space between you.

"zip it up," sae-byeok says to you, looking on expectantly.

"are you serious? we won't fit," you object. sae-byeok wraps her arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer, zipping up the sleeping bag herself.

"yes we will," she says flatly, trying not to pay attention to how close the two of you are. it's a good thing she wasn't looking at you since you were busy trying to hide a blush yourself.

the two of you laid there for a few minutes, neither of you able to get comfortable due to the cramped space. it didn't help that you kept getting slightly closer to sae-byeok with each passing minute, which is something she very much noticed. she looked over at you, unimpressed, though her face had a bit of amusement on it.

"what are you doing, y/n?" she asked, causing you to freeze still.

"nothing," you replied, hoping that maybe she wouldn't notice that you're suddenly closer to her than you were before. sae-byeok waited in silence, trying to get you to speak more, but you remained silent which drew a huff from her.

"i know what you're doing, so just come here and get it over with," she said, half-teasing. she grinned when she saw you suddenly get flustered and look away. "sorry, but you aren't exactly subtle."

you glared at her for a moment, but obliged and cuddled up next to her. the space situation did not improve, which prompted sae-byeok to speak again. "that's not what i meant. come on, otherwise neither of us will get to sleep tonight."

you slowly turned over and tenatively wrapped an arm around sae-byeok. when she didn't complain, you more confidently rested your head on her chest and lightly held onto her shoulder, your other hand resting at your side.

"comfortable now?" she asked you, her hand gently finding yours as she held your hand again. your heart half-melted and you nodded, which was satisfactory to her. "good. now go to sleep."

you sighed contentedly, cuddling closer against sae-byeok. in response, her free hand went to your hair and she absent-mindedly played with it, which you liked a lot. you let her know this by gently squeezing her hand, causing her to smile slightly.

"thank you," you murmured. you didn't expect tonight to end up like this, but you're more than happy that it did. your train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the feeling of sae-byeok gently kissing the top of your head, causing you to freeze.

"you're welcome," she said simply, not acknowledging what she just did. you tilted your head up to look at her, and she looked down at you in response, neither of you bothering to hide the soft blushes on your faces.

"sae," you started, suddenly feeling anxious. "can... can i kiss you?" you looked away as soon as you said that, not wanting to ruin the moment. "sorry, forget i said that.."

"y/n." sae-byeok squeezed your hand to get your attention, and you sheepishly looked up at her. she nodded at you, giving you butterflies in your stomach.

"really..?" you asked, wanting to make sure she was sure.

"yes, now do it before i change my mind," she said, looking at you expectantly.

she could get you to do anything with that look.

you slowly moved forward and hovered above her, looking down at her while your lips were just inches away from each other's. you stayed like that for a moment too long and sae-byeok got impatient, using the hand that was still playing with your hair to pull you in.

you melt into her as your lips connect, closing your eyes. this felt good. she softly ran her hand through your hair as her grip on your hand tightened. after a few moments, you went to pull away, but sae-byeok pulled you back in by putting her hand on the back of your neck. you were happy to oblige, pressing your mouth back on hers. you forgot about everything besides sae-byeok, your lips moving in sync as you kissed one another. you felt truly safe here, not worrying about the stresses that made you come here in the first place, and definitely not worrying about your tent which was most likely on its way to antarctica. all you could think about was sae-byeok.

after a minute or so, she finally let you go. you pulled away with one last kiss, looking down at her, both of you blushing heavily but not caring. her hand rested on the side of your neck as you looked into each other's eyes.

"i liked that," you said, smiling. "we should do that more often." you settled back down onto her chest after stealing one last kiss before she could respond.

"i wouldn't be opposed," sae-byeok said, playing with your hair once again while rubbing your hand with her thumb. "good night, y/n."

"goodnight, sae-byeok."

nothing but the sound of crickets chirping and the sound of rushing water from the river filled the air as you both happily fell asleep in each other's arms.

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[yanderes-galore]

The Boys Solider Boy concept!!!

Watching The Boys Season 3, naturally I have to write for him. I'm not finished with the Season so I'm trying to just talk about behavior.

Yandere! Benjamin/Soldier Boy Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Violence, Blood, Overprotective behavior, Mature themes (Intimacy talked about), Murder, Drug use mentioned, PTSD, Threats, Slight delusional behavior, OOC Ben, Biting/Marking, Mentions of kidnapping, Brief spanking mention, Forced relationship.

Ben's a complicated and unpredictable individual, ever since he escaped being experimented on at least.

He's very out of touch with modern life, trying to show himself as a macho man.

He's almost a literal take on the 'Alpha Male' stereotype.

He comes off as an arrogant and selfish playboy, focusing on his own desires first.

His poor child is what helped make him this way.

It's made him view himself as disappointment and he has a negative view on affection and vulnerability.

He'll also have trouble falling for another due to him being told those he thought were interested in him weren't.

He can be rather volatile... literally.

He struggles with emotions and weakness, which explains his actions.

But even if he feels bad killing innocents... It doesn't excuse things he's done.

Since being released from Russia, he's mostly focused on personal desires.

Fighting, drugs, and more intimate vices.

Unfortunately, his obsession is going to deal with a lot when first meeting him.

You probably are working with Butcher, playing nice around the walking nuclear bomb.

Ben's intentions with you are probably... lewd at first.

He makes disturbing comments, often wanting alone time with you to show you how a real man can treat you.

You often excuse yourself, preferring to look into plans to catch Homelander off guard than entertain Ben's attempt to 'get some'.

Butcher would probably be cruel enough to suggest you give in to Ben, just to keep him behaved.

After all, the second that man gets worked up, a nuclear meltdown occurs.

You turn that down, disgusted by the idea of being used like that.

Ben doesn't seem to give up on pursuing you, claiming he likes you with some fire.

To you, you feel like you're just watching him to make sure he doesn't blow another block sky high.

While Ben originally just intends to get you in bed... The longer he's around you, he's intrigued.

He likes the challenge you bring.

Deep down, Ben does yearn to be loved.

He has always wanted attention since his father never gave it.

In ways he's quite similar to Homelander, his son.

They're both arrogant supes who want attention since they never got it when growing up.

Except... Ben isn't as psychopathic as John....

So while your first impressions of Ben are... disturbing.

He probably actually craves any sort of attention you give him.

Poor you is often trying to keep an eye on him with Hughie.

The dude is either high, drunk, or very... horny for lack of a better term.

Hughie ends up feeling horrible when Ben prattles on about how he could make you feel... how he could treat you...

That no other man in this generation can make you feel things like he can.

It's... It's all Boomer talk...

He's like a century old, after all.

Ben, when sober and not clambering for revenge, soon tries to be a gentleman for you.

He tries to lay the charm on thick, to prove himself to you despite his frustration.

He'd also often act like you need him.

He considers you weak... He says you need a strong man to protect you.

Ben also seems possessive due to his whole 'Alpha Wolf' mentality.

He's a violent man, often trying to be physical around you to show he has eyes on you.

It's things like an arm around you... him leaning against you... holding your hand... touching your thigh.

Even if you smack him away, he just returns.

Ben has never been one to be denied what he wants.

If he has his eyes on you, he's going to pursue you until he can make you swoon.

Ben despises being vulnerable, even with you.

In private he's always trying to ignore his want for you to love him genuinely.

Even if he manages to coax you into sleeping with him at least once... He wants it to feel like you love him.

When he's on some sort of substance, a bit of vulnerability peaks through when he's with you.

He insists on sharing your bed, perhaps even in a passionate moment he murmurs about needing you to support and care for him.

If you confront him, he denies it.

Yet deep down he's insecure... He's worried no one loves him.

So... drowning himself in you and vices is a way for him to cope.

Even if you're just doing it to keep him sated.

He's more needy than you'd think.

The man practically never leaves your side, often eying you like a craving he can't quite shake.

Sure, fine, maybe his last partner didn't love him...

Sure... maybe he tends to sleep around...

But this time, he's never wanted to keep someone to himself more than when he met you.

The rest of The Boys are so cautious around him... Butcher quietly remarking that Soldier Boy's like a bulldog around you.

You may just put up with him because he's needed to blast Homelander.

Yet Ben's managed to convince himself enough that you're into him?

Why else would you dress up so pretty?

Why else would you let him take you to bed?

You get in so deep that you actually hear Ben confess to you after your passionate moments.

He's never felt more alive than with you....

To him, it's like he doesn't consider that you may just be scared or using him.

Why would that be the reason?

Clearly you're just attracted to his macho....

Ben definitely marks you.

He bites your skin, growls that he's the only one who can please you.

You often try to hide such evidence, but everyone else already knows.

Ben killing people over you is a given.

Many of The Boys are on edge because he's glaring at them like he'll kill them.

Ben has remorse for killing innocents.

He does feel bad for nuclear blasting civilians due to his PTSD from his experimentation.

Yet... How innocent is a person if they're taking what he thinks belongs to him?

After all... If he feels he only has your body and your heart belongs to another...

Gone.

They're shot or their neck is broken... blood staining his suit.

You better get to calming him down despite your fear...

The second that Geiger counter starts going off, you need to get to work.

Honestly, there probably isn't a Supe who wouldn't get bloody for their obsession... Except maybe Starlight?

You're used to blood... Homelander makes a lot of it with his tantrums.

Yet it hurts more when Ben targets someone you love, coldly turning around as he demands why you don't love him.

Kidnapping... Well, I want to say yes to this?

He's probably find some way to lock you to his side so he can't lose you and force your love.

But it also reminds him of when HE was held against his will....

He doesn't like hurting you.

Yet he's desperate to feel some sort of love and attention.

Punishment? Yes. Yes he will.

It may sound weird, but Ben would probably spank his obsession?

He'd somehow make the whole thing oddly sexual too....

He has to be careful with his strength.

After all, he's a Supe....

Afterwards, when you're shaking, he holds you close to him with kisses to your head.

He'd train his obsession to be a house spouse, you just KNOW it....

He's been a playboy... but it's like he's genuinely trying to commit to you emotionally and physically.

He struggles but... He still wants to be better than his father.

He doesn't care if taking you away from The Boys betrays Butcher or not.

He doesn't like that man around you anyways.

Ben plans to kill Homelander one way or another.

Yet all that really matters to him as of now... is you.

You've been so good to him....

Even when he finds out it's not genuine love, he's quick to force you to change your tune.

He could blow at any moment....

When he holds you close, eyes full of betrayal.

You're quick to say you'll change... you'll love him... just... it'll take time.

He'll accept that... but to make sure of that.

He's going to remove you from anything else you love or care about.

You say you'll love him, huh?

Prove it then... He'll make you prove it... Even if it requires pushing aside remorse and making people red paste on the ground...

After all, who else will there be to love if he's all you have?

[trainsinanime]

I'm still considering whether I'll do any non-vague posting about this, but let me just say: Writing long and erudite posts about what you think is wrong with a French children's TV show does not absolve you from the accusation that you're doing… let's call it entry-level analysis. A post can be long and well-written and still just regurgitate the most basic, boring points, and some of them plainly wrong.

Actually maybe don't read this, it may be too salty itself.

"Adrien is sometimes too pushy", "Marinette is sometimes a stalker", "Alya is a bad friend because she's unwilling to bully a random new girl just because Marinette said so", yeah, yeah, we've heard it. More than once. Way more than once. Yes, even with receipts and quotes. Trust me, it's been discussed. These are the kind of standard hot takes of someone who is doing their first attempt at critical analysis, and I actually think on some level we should encourage that. I do believe fandom should be beginner-friendly in all regards.

But man, it can be annoying to read sometimes. Especially when someone uses these hot takes to justify the existence of salt fics. Let me be 100% clear here: Salt fics are not a reaction to flaws in the source material. Salt fics are materially different from fix-it fics. This becomes more clear when you track these patterns over fandoms, and in particular look at my favourite example over in Fairy Tail (sic).

That fandom has a number of fandom-specific plots, like some "angel of death sends main character back to relive the origins with the knowledge they had later" (also very popular in Harry Potter back in the day), but also one that is just 100% salt specific: It's about Lisanna, a childhood friend of the male lead Natsu, coming back from the alternate universe she was trapped in, and displacing Lucy, the female lead, who eventually leaves, sad and depressed, while nobody cares about her. The sentiments are all the same: Feeling depressed, feeling annoyed that your friends are suddenly interested in the new girl, feeling like you don't belong anymore, leaving your friend group to punish them and so on.

There are some differences as well. This whole thing was back in the days of Fanfiction.net, when crossovers were in a whole other section of the site and thus not easily findable, so the whole "…I'm going to run away to somewhere where people want me" never had the frankly hilarious addition of "…and when I'm there I'm going to marry Batman!", which spawned a whole sub-fandom in ML (its fans tell me that it's not all salt; I haven't bothered to check).

But the most important difference: The inciting incident never happened in canon. People just thought it might. In canon, Lisanna did return from her alternate dimension… and then immediately became a forgotten background character. Lucy and Natsu remained just as in love as they always had been, which is to say, very much except they don't seem to notice it. Their relationship was never strained even for a moment.

And still people wrote these stories that are functionally salt fics, with the same storylines, same emotions, same beats. Because salt fics are not about fixing what is wrong with the show. If they were, they'd spend all their time discussing the terribly fucked-up metro map. Salt fics are about exploring feelings of loneliness, isolation, "why are you hanging out with here when I told you she sucks" and just pure spite, in a way that you don't really see outside of pop songs. That is the end goal. The characters and plots are just a way to get there, and they will get twisted as necessary.

This is critical for understanding and discussing the phenomenon of salt fics. Alya is not actually getting demonised because she acted a bit stupid in one episode where everybody but Marinette acted a bit stupid. It's incredibly weird to hear this argument, and then all the supporting quotes for it, in the same post, right underneath, are all:

Alya: Okay, but do you have any proof? Marinette (angrily): Arrghlwargl! No!

Like, come on. Alya is getting demonised because people really want to. Because it works for the kind of story. These stories assume that it's Alya's job to always support Marinette unconditionally, and that any deviation from that, no matter how minor, is a highest order betrayal. And then they go full Count of Monte Cristo on her.

(Well, not really, that could almost be fun. Nobody ever has Marinette imprisoned for fourteen years, get out with the help of a hypnotist monk, use a buried pirate treasure to buy an island, then manipulate a telegraph line to… It's all just torn notebooks and such. Boring.)

The idea that people hate Alya for mostly valid reasons is just plain wrong and shows that you've missed a huge part of what's happening in the fandom. You could use all the Alya hate as an entry point into analysing what her role is in the show, how people in the fandom perceive her role, how people in the salt dom perceive her role, how her role and her personality shift depending on the needs of an episode at the expense of a consistent character and so on. There is some great analysis in that direction out there already, but more wouldn't hurt. "Alya is a bad friend sometimes because of Chameleon" remains an uninteresting take no matter how well you word it, though.

And that's just Alya. Adrien hate, for example, is its entirely own field. In short: Yes, some characters in this fandom are over-hated. Try digging deeper next time.

[personthattoleratesme]

So, you want to study new phannies?

well, same, i don't know what happened to me either but let me try to explain, you might find it amusing

you see, I'm 19 now, so back when they first were active i wasn't enough chronically online to be obsessed with any internet personality. (for reference, i was five when dan posted his first video.)

then covid and lockdowns happened and through some twists and turns i was catapulted deep into the 1D fandom, more specifically the larry portion of it. it was incredibly toxic and unhealthy, but it was also so much fun and taught me a lot about fandom and shipping culture. i eventually moved on into much healthier fandom spaces and honestly thought (and hoped) i was over being a fan of Real Living Human Beings.

now, i had obviously heard of dan and phil before but never watched any of their videos. so when they announced the return of dapg and everyone here freaked out about it i thought, eh, might as well take a look.

i don't know what it was about them, their dynamic, the casual happy queerness, the way they love and care for each other, their little stupid quirks, dan's way with words, but it pulled me in so damn quickly. so far i have no regrets, watching them is so nice and comforting.

however it also felt so intoxicatingly familiar to when i first got into larry, which scared me at first because i did not want to go back to anything like that time of my life. by now i have realised that this is different. it feels like a better version of whatever i had going on back then, because this time there is no need for wild speculations and intrusive theorising. them being themselves and sharing what they want to share is more than enough. maybe it's just hopeful thinking but i feel like it is actually possible to have a healthy parasocial relationship with them.

i might have missed it just a teeny tiny bit.

also!!! i feel like i picked the exact right time for this new obsession because there's so much going on, it's so fun and i amm excited for the future!

dunno if the tumblr phandom is the right place for me, right now i am pretty content with just lurking and watching you guys do your thing

with love,

a new phannie

first of all i want to say welcome new phannie! i hope you enjoy and benefit from the enrichment of our little corner of the internet.

i really enjoyed reading your story. as soon as i read larry i had a visceral full-body reaction ngl, i'm so sorry you went through that.

you have really chosen an excellent time to become a phannie. the toxicity is mostly out of the fandom, dnp are in control of the narrative now, and we don't have to deal with all the phan proof shit anymore.

it gives me so much joy that nowadays their queer happiness can be a factor in becoming a fan of theirs. there's just something so special about how after everything they've been through - and everything we've been through as phandom - that there is now this wonderfully queer and happy space that can feel safe and inviting for young queer people.

i really hope that this parasocial relationship with them will turn out to be what you're looking for. when i was a teenager they helped me through so much, and now that we're all older and have been able to grow as people i think we genuinely have a very good and healthy parasocial relationship with them as a fandom.

thank you so much for your sharing your story, i genuinely find it so fascinating to learn about 2023 phannies.

you're totally welcome to lurk here for as long as you want. i was a lurker for a long time cause phannie tumblr kind of scared me. i used to only exist in the anon asks of other users and feel free to do the same.

now i want to know: what was your first dnp video?

[shesnake]

hello here's my little Armand essay. spoilers for season 2 and content warnings for discussions of racism, csa, intimate partner violence.

[solavellan--hell]

Another reason that I find appeal in the dynamic of Solavellan:

Ever since Solas took a body, he has never really had the chance to be a person.

He has been a soldier, a traitor, a leader, a symbol, a liberator, a scary story you tell to little elven children so that they don’t misbehave, the list goes on. He has always been the means to some sort of end, both for other people and for his own self (evident by the way he constantly disregards his own wants and needs). Once the mask of Fen’Harel is on, he becomes an idea. This is something he enforces himself, because this is all he has known to be, and it is the only way he knows to achieve his duty.

And then Inquisition comes around. This time, to achieve his duty, he is forced to pretend the mask does not exist. He is just some random lowly apostate who knows a lot about the Fade. And after some time, as an unintended consequence of having to conceal the persona of the Dread Wolf, he gets to see what it would be like to live without it. He has found companionship amongst spirits before, but that aligns with his nature as a spirit, not his nature as a person. As part of the Inquisition, he gets his first taste of not having to be something greater than himself, but simply exist in his body.

Of course, it’s not enough. The mask is still there and so is his responsibility to fix his mistake. He does not allow himself to forget fully. When he is with Lavellan, however, his resolve falters dangerously, which is why he ultimately has to leave her behind. But for that limited time, she is the one person that has been the closest to what he would have been as a person, simply existing in the context of himself.

Lavellan relies on him, but doesn’t push him or use him. She lets him help as much as he is willing. She gives him agency over his position. She is the first person that he lets close to him who does so. Even in their love life, she makes her feelings known, but lets him make the final decision. She kisses him, and immediately pulls away so that he can retract if he wishes. She asks him not to go by gently holding his arm. She tells him she is willing to give their relationship a try, and lets him take his time. She is firm with her love for him, but never holds him down.

The only exception to this, in my opinion, is Felassan. Though Felassan views Solas as friend first and leader second, he ultimately tells Solas that he has to keep up the mask of the Dread Wolf if he intends to be victorious, as we read in this codex entry.

This is paralleled by Lavellan telling Rook that the world may know him as the Dread Wolf, but she knows him as her heart. An identity that he created as a manifestation of his love for her. She ends up being the only person (besides from Varric) that separates Fen’Harel, the idea, from Solas, the person. A flawed person, but a person nonetheless.

And this is what I imagine for them post-ending. He has a task, yes, but one he chose with his newfound sense of agency. And with Lavellan beside him, he can finally freely exist as simply a person, love and be loved as simply a person. Not an idea.

[cowboygideon]

I love so much how every time we see art and patrick before knee-gate, they're eating (or drinking) something "unhealthy." Like the hotdogs and the churros and the cigarettes, of course (which I'm now realizing are all phallic symbolism LMAO) plus the coca-colas and the beer. Because it just furthers this idea that Patrick is a kind of corrupting force to Art, who we know, as Ice, is a very controlled person. And then, during their final game, you have Art with his fuckass protein paste, or whatever, but Patrick with the banana, which obviously isn't unhealthy, but still something much more akin to the food of your average person—and he offers it to him! Jokingly, yeah, because he knows he's not going to take it, but also, like offering his hand, inviting Art to take part in his own corruption once again. Plus, a banana?? Could they have found a more dick-like food? Insanity.

Also I like that the one scene we have of the throuple in a room together (the party notwithstanding), Tashi is also drinking the beer. Because Patrick stokes the fire in her too, brings out a part of her that Art alone doesn't.

I was thinking about this because I saw a cut scene in the script, where Tashi and Art smoke a cigarette, and I found it really interesting. Because, for one, I understand why they'd cut it, since such a big part of the artashi dynamic is restraint, repression, both pushed further into the frigid parts of their personalities, so having them do something like that without Patrick around might remove some of that. But ALSO I think it was such a good scene because they both start coughing during it, and it sort of feels like their trying to make up for Patrick's absence with each other, but they fail. They need Patrick to push them completely out of their comfort zones��or else they'll just keep toeing that line between the familiar and the unfamiliar, safety and freedom.

Anyway, in conclusion, welcome back Adam and Eve and that fucking snake, enjoy your apple [polyamory].

[hikamancer]

A Perspective on Arthur, Dutch and Hosea

As the game progresses, there are a lot of ways Arthur becomes more and more similar to Hosea, most especially in chapter 6. Much like Hosea, Arthur questions and confronts Dutch on behalf of the well being of the other gang members. Like Hosea, he feels and expresses remorse for the decisions he's made in life and regrets that he has little time to change things and make them right. All throughout chapters 1-4, you can hear Hosea having heavy bouts of coughing, and it's implied that, like Arthur, he's dying of an illness. Hell, Arthur even looks kinda like Hosea when he was younger.

But perhaps the clearest example of their similarities is when Dutch outright says it during this conversation in chapter 5.

"You sound like Hosea. I miss... him."

What stands out to me about this line and its delivery is how dismissive it feels. When Dutch hears Arthur expressing concern about the rest of the gang, reminding him of the potential of costing more lives with his recklessness, he doesn't fully hear it as Arthur speaking. He hears Hosea's words, and it strikes grief in him, but he doesn't respond to what Arthur is saying.

I think that to Dutch, Hosea and Arthur always had their specific places/roles at his side. Dutch and Hosea co-founded the gang, united by a common dream. They'd been close friends for 20 years, and Hosea was always there as his consultant. He respected Hosea perhaps the most out of anyone in the gang, and he was one of the few people who he'd actually listen to and seek advice from.

On the other hand, Arthur is the boy whom he and Hosea raised. They brought him up into their life of crime, teaching him, instilling their values into him, and he became their protégé and the gang's lead enforcer. That's the way it was for Dutch. He was the leader, Hosea was the right hand and the brains, Arthur was the left hand and the brawn. And he loved and relied on them both for what they were. But while his love for Hosea was one born out of a more genuine respect of equals, his love for Arthur came with taking him very much for granted. Like a loyal guard dog.

But now Hosea is gone, and Dutch has lost the only voice that kept him in check. The disastrous Saint Denis bank heist and Guarma have left Dutch completely disarmed, but instead of actually reflecting on the deaths he's responsible for, and recognizing what's at stake for the rest of the gang, he instead scrambles to reassert himself and continue trying to "win the chess game" so to speak ("Maybe life ain't such a thing to cling onto so tightly").

(It's worth noting that the chess moves Dutch recites before intiating this conversation is an actual maneuever called "the Dutch Defense," where you sacrifice all your pieces to win.)

But Arthur has started to see things beyond just Dutch and his game, especially after his TB diagnosis. Though Arthur, at his heart, remains loyal to Dutch, he was also loyal to Hosea and, consciously or not, espoused himself to Hosea's ideals of prioritizing the safety and morality of the gang ("I guess I'm more interested in saving lives than winning at chess").

Dutch, however, does not properly recognize Arthur's shift in perspective. Throughout chapter 6, he views Arthur's many attempts at saving those around him as acts of disloyalty and betrayal. Because Arthur's role has not changed in his mind at all. Arthur is still meant to be his muscle, his workhorse, to have his back, because that's what he relies on him for. But Arthur is speaking and acting on ideas above that station. "You sound like Hosea." And so he dismisses Arthur's concerns, dismisses his actions as disloyalty. And it hurts him. All he can see is Arthur changing and turning on him, and that breaks his heart. And he responds to these feelings by detaching himself from Arthur, lashing out at him in anger and disappointment, clinging ever tighter to his own interests and leaning on Micah, a blatant yesman to all of his reckless actions.

It's not until the very end that Dutch is able to realize those feelings. When Arthur, beaten and dying, is lying at his feet. Warning him of Micah, telling him how he gave him all he had, that he tried so hard to save everyone and was still trying to save Dutch. This boy that he raised, that he loved for 20 years, gave him everything. And Dutch did nothing but take advantage of him until it was too late.

I think in that moment, not only did he see Arthur dying, he finally saw Hosea dying in front of him as well. Only then, once everything else had fallen apart, did he realize how much he loved Arthur, how much he loved Hosea, how much they and everyone else who died loved him, and that it was all his fault. And being confronted with that reality, seeing it in the fading of Arthur's eyes, hearing it in his last breaths, was too much for him to bear.

So he just walks away.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 19th december, 2022 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

this was my view the first time i listened to arctic monkeys. i was sitting in a parked car in the middle of a downpour, waiting for a friend who was at an appointment. i had an hour to kill, and i didn't feel like reading my book. i scrolled restlessly through my spotify library, and, on a whim, decided to listen to 505. it'd been on my playlist of 'to listen to' forever, but for some reason i'd never felt drawn to it until that particular afternoon. i pressed play, and when the song finished i pressed play again. and again. and again. i had goosebumps and my heart was full of something music hadn't evoked in me for a very long time.

i found the 'essential arctic monkeys' playlist and listened to everything i could, suddenly wishing that i had more than an hour, that my friend's appointment would go on and on so that i could stay here in this magical little bubble forever, feeling my heart opening itself up to something brand new and yet hearing parts of myself i'd known forever in the words, like they were somehow waiting for me to come and find them. it felt like someone had switched on a light. like something had come in and reignited a spark i didn't know i'd lost, and i was suddenly glowing with it. nothing had ever spoken to my creativity in the same way; after a long time squashing or trying to reshape it, i could feel it coming to life again, feel it being spoken to so vividly by the music it was as though they were having a direct conversation.

i love a lot of bands and a lot of music, but i've never fallen in love with any music as quickly or as deeply as i did with arctic monkeys. i don't think there's any other band that i've had such a profound first listening experience with, where i remember exactly where i was and how it felt. but the memory of listening to 505 and crying lightning and don't sit down 'cause i've moved your chair and arabella in that parked car, watching the rain slide down the glass and smudge the dusk, is something i know i'll remember forever. i could *feel* my world shifting on its axis, and, looking back, that instinct was totally spot on. completely out of the blue and in a way i never expected, arctic monkeys reunited me with my creativity in a way i'd needed for years. within days of listening to them for the first time, i'd started writing my novel, and a couple of months down the line i'd written over 40k. it was the most i'd written in years, and that's not even to mention the fanfic that rapidly became the most fun and fulfilling escapism i'd discovered in a long time. i felt myself seeing and connecting with the world around me in a brand new way that felt exciting and vivid, strange and beautiful and full of subtle, unnoticed meaning. it felt as though i had suddenly been given permission to write the world the way i experienced it, rather than trying to capture on paper what i thought other people wanted it to be.

as if all that wasn't enough, their music has also allowed me to connect with some incredibly special people and make wonderful friends both here and in real life.

it's truly hard to put into words the profound and unexpected impact this band has had on my life and just how much solace their music brings me, but at the very least i wanted to recognise that by acknowledging the anniversary of the first day i listened to them. it's a wonderful reminder of how the smallest action can change your life, and how those changes you need can find their way to you in ways you'd never have foreseen. i will be forever grateful to the serendipity of boredom and spotify playlists on that rainy afternoon in december 💖

[harleyquilt]

Human!Kaneki x Ghoul!Touka hc:

They're at that weird stage where they've gotten close, but are having a hard time making their relationship official. Kaneki feels it would be wrong to ask, thinking he's already undeserving of so much, much less of Touka's love. Touka, meanwhile, has accepted that she does have feelings for him, but whenever she thinks to tell him, she freezes up, the words stuck in her throat. And so they stay in this awkward state for some time.

Frustrated, Touka decides to ask Yoriko for advice. Not wanting to admit her feelings aloud, she tries to present it as a completely made-up scenario that randomly came to her mind at that moment. She's already blushing by the time she finishes her question.

Yoriko knows better, of course, but isn't aware of Touka being a ghoul, so she tells Touka that she thinks cooking is a great way to show someone their intent. Touka frowns hearing this and noticing her reaction, Yoriko offers to help Touka if that's what she'd like to do. Embarrassed, Touka immediately protests and insists that this has nothing to do with her, unfortunately shooting down Yoriko's much needed aid.

Later, Touka skims through recipe after recipe, from breakfast to dinner, from savoury to sweet, but in the end, she's left stumped, knowing little about the differences in all of these meals. She's tempted to search for 'romantic' meals, but the thought alone embarrasses her too much to try. In a bid of desperation, she eventually texts Kaneki, asking him what his favourite meal is. He responds quickly, saying it is hamburger steak, and after a minute, he asks her why she wanted to know. Touka doesn't answer, instead focusing all of her attention into finding a good, easy recipe for her to make.

It doesn't take her long to find all the ingredients, and setting the list of instructions to her side, she stares at the counter, daunted by this new challenge. Opening each packet of food, her lips twist together and she presses the back of her hand against her nose. She swallows and slowly lowers her hand, reminding herself why she's doing this, and finding her resolve, she forces herself to prepare the dish.

The next day, she finds Kaneki alone in the staff room, and noticing her, he turns to say hi. Before he can, though, Touka presents him a small bento box, frowning and her lips pursed, but a warm, pink blush across her cheeks. He's surprised, shocked even, and when he reaches to take it, Touka immediately pulls it away, her intensity quickly melting into shame. She confesses that it might taste terrible, that she had no idea what it was she was doing, that this was a stupid mistake.

Kaneki smiles and takes the bento box from her, opening it to find a small, overcooked hamburger steak and a rabbit drawn on top with a drizzle of sauce. Kaneki's heart flutters and his eyes crease as his smile grows, tears threatening to fall. Touka is taken aback, yet she doesn't make any remark, watching him wipe away his tears before confessing that he didn't expect this at all. He takes some chopsticks and tastes it, letting out a small laugh when he does.

"What...?" Touka asks, almost cautious.

Kaneki takes another small piece to eat. "I'll show you how to make it next time."

Touka snatches the box and threatens to throw it away, but Kaneki protests, insisting he loves it all the same.

After a while, he finally asks, "why did you do this for me? You don't owe me anything, you know."

"Idiot." She lightly kicks his shin, watching him finish his bento. "I wanted to show you..." Her voice trails off.

Kaneki tilts his head. "Show me what?"

She looks away. "My, uh...my intent."

"What do--"

"I like you." She mutters, gripping the edge of the table she's leaning against. "Idiot."

"O-Oh." Kaneki looks back down at the empty bento, his cheeks suddenly very warm. A rush of thoughts pass through his mind, but in the end, all he says is, "I wasn't sure."

"And now that you know?"

He rises from his seat and stands in front of her, taking her hand. Looking up, she can see that he's as red as a beet, and his hand trembles while holding up her hand, but he looks at her with clear, steady eyes.

"Will you g-go on a date with me, Touka-chan?"

She tenses, a small noise in her throat, and her fingers tighten around Kaneki's. She swallows and responds with a small, timid nod.

"Okay," she breathes. Kaneki, too, lets out a sigh of relief. "I would...I would like that. And maybe afterwards...you can show me how to make that stupid dish."

[3-aem]

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[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

[cent-scratchnsniff]

HI CAN I BEG FOR MORE NETSOD CONTENT ON MY HANDS AND KNEES I LOVE THEM I LOVE YOUR ART AND I BEG OF YOU KILL YESOD WITH THE BEER MAN. "I think I'm dying" was too funny. he would think he's dying the nanosecond he realizes heartrate rises not just with work anxiety, but affectionate social anxiety. valentines is going to send him to the ER watch

i was going to make a smaller post abt it. a simple shitpost. but it ended up being longer. about 9 pages or the sort in total. i tried to have it out during the literal date for it but most likely it will be out in the next hopefully at most 30 hours ... .. answering this now so you dont think im ignoring it. the actual finished result be posted in a seperate one. as you can see. dialog/planning plus four pages are done art wise already though!!

small sippets from progress plus yesod from the warmup doodles as a peace offering .. . ..

[oilith]

Do you have any Lilith headcannonsss

LISTEN, i had this MASSIVE post about all the headcanons in my drafts, but i accidentally posted it and had to delete it 😭😭

But here are a few i have 🥲

She's a chain-smoker, and tries to quit every now and then, always failing miserably

She has a lot of tattoos, mostly her arms

Uses a concealment stone to hide some of her eyebags, freckles, and a scar on her lip along with other "imperfections". As time goes on after they beat Belos, she does it less and less, as she learns to love herself

She's been teaching Amity since she was 4

She's about 270cm

Lilith thought she was a lesbian, but discovered later on that she's actually an aroace lesbian. She had a couple of gfs, one of them she actually stayed friends with (my oc i haven't posted yet lol)

Darius and Lilith are besties. And gym buddies. You can't tell me they don't work out together

She likes sewing and does it regularly

She just. Can't cook. AT ALL. A tale says she burned water once

Definetly a writer