johnwickb1tsch

[johnwickb1tsch]

Banquet of Mermaids - Ryoko Kimura

[johnwickb1tsch]

keanu reeves as kevin lomax in THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE taylor hackford, 1997

[johnwickb1tsch]

John Wick + Harbinger Rifle Ballerina (2025)

[johnwickb1tsch]

john wick: strangles someone to death

me:

[johnwickb1tsch]

fuck it text posts as Keanu characters Part 3!! Part 1 and Part 2

✧ John Constantine

✧ Neo (Thomas Anderson)

✧ John Wick

✧ Ted (Theodore Logan)

✧ Kevin Lomax

[johnwickb1tsch]

(Julia it was me I was the anon and I swear to god we are on the same brain wave because I originally wanted to put Constantine in here and omygod this poor girl having to deal with this bullshit what have I done -)

Ahhhhhhh your brilliant mind @theguildedlist !!!

She would be toAst!🤣🤣🤣 [sign me up🖋]

[johnwickb1tsch]

I love it @anarchiveofthedamned!! *kicking feet* Your details are fire!

JULIA love triangle with Gabriel the silly Keanu one and Kevin cause devils son idk angelkeanu vs devilkeanu hit me

Nonnie I think I love you!!😂😂 You can take that however you want.

But oh, what a FUNNY mashup, you genius! Also, what if John Constantine was in the mix? 😂 Thinking about the whole "God and the Devil have a bet" thing... What if you were stuck in the middle??😱😱

Are you...a paralegal for a nonprofit where you meet Gabriel, but Kevin keeps trying to headhunt you bc he thinks you're cute??

OR are you a waitress at the Denny's where you see some weirdo up on the roof late at night but turns out he's pretty sweet?😂😂

Watching him eat a burger is bizaaare like hasn't he had one before?😇

Aaand sometimes this handsome hotshot lawyer comes in late at night with a stack of papers wanting a cheeseburger and to flirt with you?😈

And one night a battleworn demon hunter comes into your Denny's, sees an angel AND a devil talking you up between waiting tables, and knows something weird is up with the Balance?

[johnwickb1tsch]

sooooo where is the fic where Eddie & Scientist!Reader have to use bare skin to skin contact to warm up after that sub zero lake swim??

[johnwickb1tsch]

SINNERS.

pairing. mentor!constantine x apprentice!reader

warnings. mdni, smut, religious theme, sexually repressed reader, no use of protection, pull out method, use of “kid” pet name. not beta read we die like men.

You don’t know exactly what have you done to convince the John Constantine to tutor you. You felt pathetic while knocking on his door, then shakily trying to speak to him as any normal adult would do. You’re a few years younger than him, and it’s stamped on your face. Your naivety, your softness. John wants to laugh at you, bold little kid asking him to teach you for free what he suffered to discover, but something tells him to stop and listen, so he do.

Months go past and John slowly got used to your presence. You’re easy to have around; quiet, clever, smart and respectful. You always pay attention to whatever he teaches you, what he shows you.

Your mentor is now teaching you about different type of demons. Constantine sits by your side, holding a decrepit, old book. You’re interested, your eyes pausing on a specific type of demon.

— Incubus… what are they? — Your quiet murmur makes John chuckle. So naive, he thinks.

— You’re in the 21st century and you don’t know what an incubus is, sweetheart? — His tone is condescending, teasing, and you click your tongue.

— I wouldn’t be asking if I knew, John. But I have a lot of dream with figures like this…— John pause at your answer, humming thoughtfully. He can see it all; you, a naive thing, raised practically inside a church by religious parents. The sexual repression is written all over your face. Demons have the power of dominating humans over by the weakness they already have, so of course an incubus is attacking you. He’s seem with Beeman, his obsession with insects and how Balthazar acted by killing him with flies, how Hennessy, a former alcoholic was drowned in alcohol by the same demon.

— What type of dreams? — You pounder for a moment, sighing heavily. You don’t feel exactly comfortable in sharing the dreams were a demon is having sex with you. It’s uncomfortable and crude. John holds the urge to smirk, he knows he need to be careful if he wants to keep you comfortable enough to indulge in his ideas. You stay silent for some seconds, then just decide to open up, he is your mentor, after all.

— It’s mostly… sexual nature. I dream.. I’m having sex with those creatures. It’s not comfortable at all, they always show themselves with unpleasant forms. — You open up, voice shaky as you tell him. It’s difficult for you to describe the extent of how those dreams are disgusting. You always learnt sex had to be something honorable, pure and marital. And you hate yourself for waking up so bothered after the dreams. It’s like a daily torment.

— It’s because it is their nature. Incubus are sexual demons, they were created for the sole reason of tormenting and seducing women, specially the ones with repressed sexuality. — John explains to you calmly, even if you scoff at him.

— Repressed sexuality? I’m not repressed, John! Not at all. — It’s a lie and both of you know it. This time he smirks, he can’t hold back.

— How was the last time you had sex, sweetheart? It’s not bad at all to have desires, you’re human after all. Blowing off some steam from time to time is good to you — The way he’s speaking to you as if you’re a dumb kid, treating the subject with such a impartiality it’s making you seethe. You’re not even used to talking about sex like this.

Your lack of answer was all that Constantine needed. He can read in your face, the desire that courses through your veins daily, the twisted image you have about something so natural and human inside your head. It’s pitiful, really. You’re just a starved little thing fighting against your own nature.

What he wasn’t expecting was a tear failing out of your eyes. You quickly breathe in, composing yourself, but the mask already cracked. It’s worse than it looks. You’re so troubled, so confused, so neglected. John doesn’t press, doesn’t rush, he allows you to process things on your time.

— It’s so frustrating, John. Every single time I sleep these demons are there, tormenting my mind, my soul, remembering me of what I can’t have! I want to have sex, I want to fuck like every other human being, but it feels so wrong…— You almost don’t believe you are venting this to your own mentor, Constantine, who is such a serious, composed person. But he doesn’t seem bothered by it, rather intrigued.

— Why does it feels wrong, kid? Because your church told you it was? Did they ever said something to you that helped? They are the reason you ended up here, spending all of your time trying to get rid of demons. — He argued with you, getting closer to you so slowly you barely notice. — Sex is natural, is human. No matter what people try to say to you, you’re never going to be able to repress the desire you have. You’re only making it worse to yourself. —

— So what should I do, John? It’s not like I can shut it off! It’s not like I can fuck the first guy I see in the street and forget about it! — The rise in your tone make him sighs. He stays silent, clearly in thought; debating with himself. Constantine is torn, he knows he shouldn’t, you’re his apprentice, younger than him, naive. But god damn it, he want you so much.

You are too shocked to react when his hand sneaks in your thigh, slowly rubbing the velvety skin, stopping at the hem of your shorts. It feels forbidden, but delicious. — I can help you, if you allow me. — John murmurs close to your ear and you shudder, breath quickening, heart racing inside your chest.

— I need your answer, kid…— John presses on at your silence, and you nod. He smirks victoriously, lips moving to kiss the side of your neck, nipping at the delicate skin there. If feels surreal, your insides clenching and the single touch.

You’re about to melt when his strong arms close around your frame, picking you up and taking you to his bed. You squeak when he drops you there, whole body jiggling when you hit the soft mattress.

Constantine knows exactly how to treat you. He can’t be too rough, can’t scare you off by being too fast. He’s determine to tease you until you’re a puddle. His lips feels like the softest treasure, kissing, nipping and sucking at the spot behind your ear, hands cupping your breast under the shirt, thumb rubbing your nipple slowly. It’s so sinful the way you feel your pussy raving at his touch, soaking through your panties. You can’t help yourself, hips grinding against his thigh, trying to relive yourself by rubbing your aching clit on the fabric of his trousers. The action makes John chuckle darkly, grabbing your hip with one hand, encouraging you to get off on his leg.

— Starved little thing, aren’t you? You look so pretty rubbing yourself on me, darling..— Constantine murmurs, your hips stuttering with the pleasure numbing your legs. He gets impatient, holding you with both hands and pinning you down to the bed. When he removes your short and panties, the sigh that greets him is your soaked, glistening pussy, clit still pulsating from the interrupted pleasure. His cock twitches wildly inside his trousers, straining uncomfortably inside the fabric.

— God, look at you, so needy, so neglect. Do you even touch yourself, sweetheart? — He coos mockingly, and you blush at his tone, shaking your head with your eyes closed, trying to get rid of the overwhelming feeling bubbling in your chest.

— Of course not..— He tsks, rubbing small circles on your bundle of nerves with his thumb. You could cum from that only, already so worked up and wounded. His middle and ring finger lower to your soaked hole, slowly breaching you. It’s stings, but feels so good at the same. The pathetic mewl you let out made John feel a bead of pre cum staining his boxers and he groans, determined to make you moan like this again.

Constantine found your sweet spot in no time, watching the way your hips contorted when he curled his fingers just in the right place, rubbing that spongy spot slowly enough to drive you crazy. When his thumb slid to your clit again, your swear you saw heaven, vision turning white at the hot pleasure, the coil in your belly getting tighter and tighter.

— It’s alright sweetheart, you can cum, come on, you deserve it…— He rasps to you, and as if command, the coil snaps, your pussy clenching tightly around his fingers, cream dripping on his wrist. Your breath is heavy, chest having while your thighs tremble.

— See? That’s what you were missing..— John teases, and you have energy only to roll your eyes at him. He works on his pants, finally removing the fabric that it’s almost chocking his cock. You watch with curious interest, eyes widening at the sheer size of his. He’s long enough and thick enough to make you wonder if you would be able to handle him at all.

— Don’t worry love, I will be gentle with you…- it’s what he murmurs, climbing on top of you. You’re almost nervous, but the way he grazes his red, angry tip against your clit, rubbing it up and down makes you forget everything else. Your eyes are closed, breath relaxed until you suddenly feels him forcing himself on you. His whole head breaches you at once, and it feels like hell and heaven at the same time. Your nails dig in his shoulders. John gives you all the time you need to get used, until you start to move your hips up and down, trying to get more of him. Constantine starts slow, barely pulling out, grinding the tip of his cock against the same sweet spot he abused earlier. You’re moaning in his arms and all he can hears is pure angelic music. Driven by lust, he start to really fuck you, hips snapping against yours, the wet plap plap plap echo only making you more worked up.

You feel your lungs getting knocked out of you with a particular harsh trust that hits just right, your whole body jerking with pleasure. Catching on your reaction, John angles his hips just right, hitting that same spot with deep, measured trusts. You’re brought to heaven again, coming so hard it feels like your soul is being sucked out of your body. The tight, suffocating clench of your walls send Constantine close trough his own orgasm, and he pulls out in the right moment, painting your stomach with his release. You’re to tired, too fucked out to even care, trying to recover your breath. John quickly moves to grab his discarded shirt, cleaning your stomach.

— See, sweetheart? Was it so bad? — He asks after few seconds, and you laugh tiredly at how he still had energy to tease you. — No, John, not bad at all. — After all, it was true. You never felt this alive, this human before. It was raw, pure pleasure, everything you needed.

John isn’t the master or aftercare, but he puts effort for you, bringing a cup of water and a snack he had in his drawer. You barely touch the packet, failing asleep almost immediately. And it’s safe to say; you didn’t had any demon invading your dreams anymore. The only thing you can dream now is about Constantine, his beautiful, brown eyes staring down at you while you come, his rough hands, how safe you felt with him. You’re glad you had him as your mentor.

TAGLIST;; click here to be added to my taglist.

[johnwickb1tsch]

There’s Something About Mary AU where Ted is your old prom date from high school who never got over you and always talks to his friend Neo about you until Neo suggests he should hire a private investigator to find you so he can get back in touch. Tex is the private investigator, he finds you and becomes obsessed, makes up a story about you to turn Ted off and tries to pursue you himself, using his private investigator skills to make himself out to be your ideal man. Then Ted finds out Tex lied and goes on a road trip with Neo to find you himself, spotting you on a date with Tex. After Tex leaves, Ted “bumps” into you and you immediately remember him from high school and when you catch up he discovers you changed your last name after you left college because you had a stalker you needed to hide from. Neo was your stalker.

[johnwickb1tsch]

@rubynye Here you go

I remember reading somewhere once that Angelina Jolie hired a hitman to kill her once but he convinced her to change her mind and all I can think about is a John Wick AU

[johnwickb1tsch]

icy 🤍🥶💙

[johnwickb1tsch]

JULIA love triangle with Gabriel the silly Keanu one and Kevin cause devils son idk angelkeanu vs devilkeanu hit me

Nonnie I think I love you!!😂😂 You can take that however you want.

But oh, what a FUNNY mashup, you genius! Also, what if John Constantine was in the mix? 😂 Thinking about the whole "God and the Devil have a bet" thing... What if you were stuck in the middle??😱😱

Are you...a paralegal for a nonprofit where you meet Gabriel, but Kevin keeps trying to headhunt you bc he thinks you're cute??

OR are you a waitress at the Denny's where you see some weirdo up on the roof late at night but turns out he's pretty sweet?😂😂

Watching him eat a burger is bizaaare like hasn't he had one before?😇

Aaand sometimes this handsome hotshot lawyer comes in late at night with a stack of papers wanting a cheeseburger and to flirt with you?😈

And one night a battleworn demon hunter comes into your Denny's, sees an angel AND a devil talking you up between waiting tables, and knows something weird is up with the Balance?

[johnwickb1tsch]

I’ve started wearing acrylic nails since I got my job so have some headcanons of keanuverse plus one extra going with you to get your nails done.

J.W

- slightly useless at picking a colour bc he just likes whatever you like.

- is content to just sit there and people watch while you get your nails done.

- can also be convinced to get a little manicure, just nail trim and a buff and that.

- will stare at the nail lady if he thinks she’s hurting you with the dremel.

T.L

- grumpy bastard.

- he’s choosy about the colour. He has an opinion and you will hear it.

- on alert most of the time. Not tense, just aware.

- cannot be convinced to get a manicure of any description. He can cut his own nails thank you very much.

D.M

- he decides the colour for you, and the shape.

- doesn’t always go with you, sometimes just sends you out to go pretty yourself... with an escort of course.

- when he does go with, he is intent and watching you the whole time.

- he just wants you to be pretty for him, and having pretty nails is part of that.

J.T

- specifically likes when you get your nails dark blue to match his uniform. Cause he’s a cutie.

- without fail makes a little date out of it and takes you for coffee after.

- takes the opportunity to catch up with you from how busy he is with work all the time.

- will get a little manicure to be included. It feels nice with how much he uses his hands at work.

And bonus cause I’m self indulgent

Wayne (from hit Canadian sitcom Letterkenny)

- grumpy gentleman.

- he doesn’t really care the colour as long as your happy. Secretly has favourites but you have to intuit them.

- happy to sit and hang out but cannot promise good behaviour.

- can be convinced to get a little manicure, because again it feels nice on his hands. However he will complain about not being soft the whole time.

[johnwickb1tsch]

omg your tags…vamp wick tearing a guard apart in front of iosef would be terrifyingggggg but so so good ❤️

in your mind, does vamp wick kill more slowly or painfully than human wick? cuz while (human) john definitely deals out serious pain, he doesn’t seem drag out a kill to where it’s cruel. So is vamp wick a little more cruel? 👀

Hmm, I wouldn’t say he’ll be more cruel… maybe more brutal? Fangs would be for up close and personal encounters or making a point. He'll still be using his guns, knives, whatever he's got. If he did rip apart a guard's neck they would be dead pretty quickly anyway. 🩸

More thoughts: where lesser men would have been overwhelmed by bloodlust and lost their humanity (with bodies dropping, warm blood everywhere) he never, ever lets it consume him completely. That’s how the talk of 'sheer fucking will' came about.

[johnwickb1tsch]

someone should make saint keanu angel gabriel medals i would totally wear that...😇

[johnwickb1tsch]

Me to myself after having watched this ONE scene on repeat: