#this ended up being longer than i intended

[babsaros]

being evicted from my "home" suddenly after 5 years and need support

Hi all, i really really really hate that I have to make this post, and the background feels too personal to get into, but after 5 years of living here in what i thought was an amicable and indefinite arrangement, I am being forced to find alternate housing as my relationship with our landlord has completely deteriorated over this winter. My girlfriend and I have until the 31st to be completely moved out. We intend to follow through on this no matter if we have somewhere else secured or not. Living out of our car would be preferable to dealing with any more hostility or attempts at manipulation from our landlord. I work 30+ hours a week in retail, my girlfriend does online sex work and has a potential part time job lined up as well, but because this is so unexpected we have basically no savings. I have some very dear, generous friends offering to spot us on moving costs and first month's rent, as long as I can find somewhere, but I would prefer not to rely on them so heavily. It doesn't make me feel any better to e-beg, but know that I will be immensely grateful for any amount of support we receive at all, especially when I know so many other people are in equally vulnerable positions, including those attempting to survive and flee the genocide in Palestine.

If you are not in a position to donate, please do not feel pressured to! Just sharing this post would also be incredibly helpful, and I sincerely thank anyone who gives us support in any way.

I can offer small doodles as compensation for donations, though please bear in mind my turn-around may take longer than normal as I deal with everything else. I have full commission info and slots on kofi, and you can see more of my art style on my blog. Anyone interested in supporting my girlfriend through OnlyFans can DM me for the link to her page.

Book-ending this post with a picture of my cat, to make myself feel better. I love him more than the world. He's cuter than the two of us anyway, and deserves to be warm and safe.

[thefixations-ofmine]

liquid courage and a support system

Bucktommy | 2.8k | Rated mature (no smut) Entry for the @bucktommywinterfest, round 5 Dec. 29 - Jan. 4 prompt: Midnight kiss a/n: this is an idea I got from this exchange here. Again, I suck at titles so please bear with me. There will be a follow-up smut chapter to this, that I will post for a Bingo challenge. And then next week's prompt for the Winter fest will be the following conversation in the morning. Oh and apparently Sal's wife's name is Gina (saw someone say that in the tags and I liked it).

Main Masterlist | Winter fest | AO3

“Buck, hey! What’s-”

“Eddie!” Buck shouts his name through the phone as soon as he hears his voice. He takes a giggly breath before proceeding; “I’m at a bar downtown with Lucy. Remember Lucy? When you-you quit working with us? Anyway, she told me to go out and have some fun!”

“That’s nice, Buck. So, are you having fun?” There’s a silence after Eddie’s question while Lucy tries to say something from a few feet away, and Buck remembers he’s on a phone call he initiated;

“Hey Eddie, Eddie,” he says, suddenly serious. “I need your help with something.”

“I’m sure that’s why you called.”

Buck bites the insides of his cheeks, second-guessing for a moment until a member of the 133 chimes in and convinces him to go through with the plan. They’d all been sitting around some nachos for an hour, the members of the 127 whining about Tommy’s attitude since the break-up and the 133 chipping in that there had to be an explanation to all of it. In the end, they took Buck’s side of the story, even Lucy, and he knew he hadn’t been worried for no reason.

“I need to go see Tommy before midnight.”

It’s a quick conversation after that. Eddie makes sure Buck knows what he’s doing because if Tommy hadn’t been vocal about the situation to anyone, he might not react so well to being pressured, mostly not tonight of all nights. Despite his friendly advice, Buck insists and convinces Eddie to pick him up and drive him there.

Which he does, thirty minutes and another round of Tequila later.

When they drive onto Tommy’s street, Buck turns the radio off to unscramble the speech in his brain that he intends on giving to maybe, very hopefully, get Tommy to have a conversation with him. At the very least, they both need more context and if Tommy had an actual reason to stay away, Buck would comply. But Lucy was honest when she said she saw a change in Tommy’s demeanor and it wasn’t for the best.

Buck takes deep breaths that contrast the chill December air. His window is starting to fog and Eddie notices.

“There’s still time to turn around, man.” Eddie offers, and Buck shakes his head. He’s gotta do this. For the both of them.

“I’m okay, yeah. I’m okay.” Buck rubs his hands onto his jeans - the tight blue ones he remembers were Tommy’s favourites. The same jeans he wore on the night- Buck shakes his head.

Yeah, he really needs to talk to Tommy.

The house looks a little different, and in his current state, Buck can’t really tell why. The grass is a little longer than usual, but that’s not it. Tommy was never a fancy landscaping guy so the hedge and small bushes are the same. New roof? Nope. Then Buck’s eyes fall onto the bright red, 2019 Charger parked in the driveway and his brows bend with curiosity. Did Tommy have that bad of a crisis that he made an impulsive (and expensive) decision?

Ha! Buck silently laughs to himself now. Ironic.

Eddie catches the change in energy and tries to comfort his friend; “I remember he told me he was thinking of getting a more recent sports car because working on classics was becoming expensive.”

“But he loved his truck. I loved his truck…” Buck whispers, reminiscing over their short trips and the laughs they shared eating take-out and watching planes take off at Burbank. It would make sense though, that Tommy would get rid of such a big piece of them.

Once the truck is parked by the eye-sore, Buck nods and thanks Eddie for driving him over, saying that he’d catch an Uber back to his place if Eddie got called while on his stand-by shift. He jumps out of the truck and wills himself to walk to the door, takes a quick look at his phone.

It’s eleven forty-five.

There are a few seconds too many after his first knock and Buck goes for another, impatient. The door swings open instantly this time. The comforting smell of the house drafts out, bringing up a wave of emotions. His eyes open and with that Buck loses the smile he had put on.

“Can I help you?” There’s a tall, broad man on the other side of the threshold, but it’s not Tommy. The features are similar though; blue eyes, dark hair, muscles all over and a nose that would crunch up on his cheek during a kiss like Tommy’s did. Buck opens his mouth to speak but;

“Who is it, Sal?” Tommy shouts from inside. Sal. What a stupid name.

Sal turns around to tell; “Some random mook”. Then his piercing gaze falls back onto Buck; “You’re bumming out our party. The fuck you want?”

“Um, well-” There are so many scenarios running through Buck’s mind that he forgets everything he needed to say. Tommy’s already got a date? Sure, it’s been over a month and he had his own opportunities, but Buck was convinced Tommy would be alone moping, or at least working an extra shift tonight (Tommy is not a big holiday guy, Buck had found out when he suggested they took the same days off to celebrate). But he’s already found another man to spend his spare time with and the man is gorgeous and not so different from his own physique that Buck can pass it off as an experiment.

He thinks maybe that Sal guy had been there all along. That Buck was in fact the experiment and he’d fallen into the trap. Let the man feed on his naiveness and use his inexperience as some weird superiority kink.

Well, fuck, he thinks. If he’s going down might as well put all the cards on the table and play the game.

“I-I need to talk to Tommy. We have a conversation to have.” Buck straightens up, using the little ounce of alcohol that didn’t coward out of his body to stand his ground. “He should be with me tonight.”

The man laughs as he realizes who he’s talking to, and it boils Buck’s blood.

“You? You’re the reason I had to pick Tommy off the ground?” Sal slaps his knee and looks over inside the house again but doesn’t speak. While he does so, Buck scans him over, looking for a weak point. He’s not above fighting this with his fists - remember the alcohol? - but the man could slam dunk him one-handed.

“Oh, that’s rich,” Sal adds with a deep hum. He looks Buck up and down. Bites his bottom lip. “I guess I can see it. Tall boy with the curls and puppy eyes. I would have been all up in there as well. Worth the heartache.”

“The fuck you mean?” Buck’s hands are forming into fists in his hoodie’s pockets and he’s turning the same colour as the hideous car parked behind him. Which he now understands is this prick’s belonging.

“Boy, listen. Tommy had a good run with you, but I’m here with him now. He doesn’t need to take your hand and walk you everywhere like a lost child anymore.” Sal walks back and starts closing the door but Buck’s hand is quick to stop it.

“I’m sure he didn’t mind that. You should have seen his face the first time I called him daddy. Fucked me for three days straight, something you probably can’t keep up with,” Buck spits, the taste of the statement burning like bile on his tongue. He can see surprise spread across Sal’s face, before he retorts.

“I’m the top, baby. Tommy lets me do what I want with him. And his whimpers are delicious.” Buck knows. Buck’s been on the giving end of those whimpers, and if Tommy was honest with him, he was the first one to bring him there, and-

“Maybe I can show you how to make him cry your name too.” Buck’s inside the house now, backing Sal into the dresser as they go about fighting this like bulls. He goes on to say more arrogant shit that he hopes will fall into the right ears and grant him points. Even if deep down he knows this is childish and stupid and wasting him some precious time.

“That didn’t make him want to move in with you, did it?” Sal sends the final straw as he rubs his chin evilly.

Buck’s eyes land on Sal’s hand and his stomach drops. He looks at the ring on his finger and his mouth falls open, speechless. There’s a stinging feeling of defeat cutting through his entire being, like he came all the way here for nothing. Like the last months were for nothing.

Before Buck can either fall to his knees in sobs or turn around without a word, a feminine frame comes into view and the woman circles an arm around Sal, a big diamond decorating the hand that’s running up his chest. She looks up at him, the stern expression across her face making him check his posture, and suddenly Buck’s even more confused than he was.

“Tommy, come talk to the poor boy,” she says and pulls Sal back to the living room by the hand.

Buck looks over to his right and he feels like passing out.

*

“He should be with me tonight.”

Tommy freezes in place, takes a step back to hide behind the dividing column between the living room and kitchen as if this wasn’t his goddamn house. He takes a deep breath, looks over at Gina on the couch and makes a face: that’s him, he mouths. She giggles at his frightened composure. He’s too drunk for this. 

Hearing Ev-, Buck’s voice triggers emotions he thought he had drowned deep enough with holiday cheer; shame. Regret. Love. And now all he wants is to run out, pull him into his arms tight enough until they fuse together and he can never lose him again. But the conversation has taken a turn and Tommy… Well, Tommy enjoys what he’s hearing. His body goes slack when he hears Buck fight for him. Everything he’s saying is true and he wants to prove it again. Fuck, he misses him.

He’d have a conversation with Sal later about the things he’s saying to rile him up. Slap the back of his head for good measure because Buck could have run off and Tommy’s not sure he’d have the courage to go after him and pick up that mess on top of the one he created, but for now, he chuckles and lets them ‘fight’ over him for the sake of the show. When Sal pulls out his last line though, Tommy’s expression drops and Gina darts past him before he can will himself to take a step. She defuses the bomb.

“Tommy, come talk to the poor boy.” He watches as they walk back into the living area and he meets Buck’s eyes.

He has very little time to make a decision and he probably looks like a deer in headlights. He wants to be cool and composed. Make Buck believe he’s got his life together and that leaving wasn’t the dumbest thing he did. But his baby is standing there in his house and he hates how uneasy he seems. Tommy closes his eyes and breathes in, looks at the stove on his left.

It’s eleven fifty-seven.

“Come in,” he says, barely loud enough to hear himself say it. He has to wave Buck in, and his heart skips a beat when he agrees and closes the door. Tommy turns to the fridge and gathers two beer bottles, even though their systems could do without. It’s a habit, getting something for Buck, because ‘love languages’ or whatever. And old habits die hard.

“Let’s talk on the patio,” Tommy adds, pointing with the neck of the bottle. Buck follows willingly, a faint smile spreading over his face. Tommy sees him look at Sal and Gina sitting hip to hip on the couch and he realizes he has some explaining to do, but as they walk behind the couch, Sal reaches back and pulls Buck by the hoodie.

“Sorry kid but you know I had to test you. You seem alright,” he says. “Don’t fuck up your chance though. I know where you live.” Buck looks at Tommy with worry and Tommy waves his head ‘no’ in reassurance. The room lights up in chuckles and Buck joins them, eyes watery nonetheless. Then Tommy’s gaze lands on the TV and he sees the countdown go by on the broadcast downtown. Seven, six, five, four-

Panic takes over him and when he turns to look at Buck, he’s met with the exact same questioning look. He should have had more time before this. At least say hi properly and get to the apologies first. But Tommy raises his brows and Buck nods with a shaky exhale. Then their lips collide in a clumsy but oh so perfect kiss.

The angle is awkward and this should be a quick peck, but they stay like this for several more seconds, both their hands just hovering around them not quite ready to cross a line.

Happy New Year! The TV chants, and they pull away. The scene mirrors that of their first kiss; Tommy pulls back with his eyes closed, scared that if he opens them then the nightmare will come back and Buck will be gone. But when he pushes himself to do so, Buck is standing there, a tear falling onto his cheek and he’s holding his breath, mouth agape and his eyes search deep into his soul.

Tommy’s ears are ringing but it’s not the fireworks outside. It’s the beating of his heart that’s threatening to fall out of his chest. And he listens to it, grabs Buck’s neck and pulls him back in. The second round is hungry, determined, and the beers have been set on the couch console in favor for their hands to roam freely across charted territory. Tommy finds his favourite dip at the base of Buck’s back, his other hand still wrapped around his Adam's apple. His body shivers when he feels two strong hands run up his front until they settle onto his chest for a light squeeze.

It’s raw and meaningful and unbothered, until someone clears their throat.

*

“I’ll set the dishes in the sink. The leftovers are stored away, but I’m leaving with this amazing fruit cake,” Gina says with Sal in tow.

“W-wait, I didn’t mean to stop you guys, I-”

“Kid, if Lucy hadn’t convinced you to come here before midnight, I would have personally driven mister lonesome here to your place.” Sal loves the moment everything clicks in Buck’s mind and he shoots a look at Tommy who’s turning red. “We were just keeping him company until then.” He winks.

Buck stands there speechless, a little dumbfounded but the smile on his face could light up the city. Tommy also had a plan. The same plan, as it turns out, mastered by the same minds. His dick twitches in the god awful tight jeans knowing Tommy wanted to fight for him. And maybe from the taste of Tommy lingering on his lips.

“Well, we’ll be on our way. Be safe!” Gina adds before gathering their stuff and heading for the door. Sal stops to give Tommy a hug and whispers something to him, to which Tommy nods in agreement.

“And you!” Buck goes cross-eyed looking at his finger. “Don’t be too comfortable being ‘whatever’. Put labels. Be happy that you can do that now. Let people know Tommy’s your boyfriend, whether you’re gay or queer or,” he stops and makes a hand gesture for Buck to finish.

“Bisexual,” he answers.

“There. It’s easy to say, huh? Let people know. Who ever gives a fuck shouldn’t be in your life anyway.” With those wise words, Sal walks past him and out the door. Buck almost starts liking the guy before the roaring of the Charger vibrates through the house and he remembers he could probably never deal with that ego. Tommy seems to notice the disgust on his face and laughs.

“Talk?” Tommy points towards the couch this time, but Buck takes a step closer and brings his hands to his hips.

“You took tomorrow off?” Tommy nods. “Then tomorrow.”

Buck pushes Tommy back against the counter and attacks his mouth again. That would satisfy him, really. Kissing the love of his life in his house. This is what Buck should have emphasized during their last conversation, he thinks. But there’s little time for thinking when Tommy starts undoing his pants and moans obscenely into his open mouth.

“I’ll spend the night on my knees if you ask me to, baby. Don’t worry,” Buck whispers, smug. God he missed this. He runs his hand down the front of Tommy’s pants and tears burn his eyes at the contact with his engorged dick.

“Evan,” Tommy begs faintly.

-

Next part (smut) | Next part (morning conversation)

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future works! Tagging:

@weewookinard

[if-whats-new]

~ SMALL TALK… ISSUE 1 (2025) ~

> WITH HARRIS POWELL-SMITH @hpowellsmith

BY BRIAR AND PETER

Joining us is an award-winning narrative designer and writer: Harris Powell-Smith! Author of the Crème de la Crème series, “Blood Money” and many more!

⟶ Hello, Harris! Welcome to Small Talk. We are absolutely thrilled to have you here with us! Before we officially begin, would you mind sharing with us a bit about yourself?

Hi! I'm a narrative designer and game writer who's worked on a few indie and mobile games including the multiplayer King of the Castle and the mobile Love Island tie-in game. Currently I'm freelancing and mostly creating choose-your-path text games with Choice of Games, which I've now been doing for eight years.

I'm most known for my dark academia Crème de la Crème series, and most recently released Honor Bound, the fourth standalone game in the series!

⟶ Now, onto the questions! Can you tell us how you started your IF writing journey?)

My very first experience with interactive writing was as a teenager, making NPC mods for Baldur's Gate 2 with my then-girlfriend, now-wife. Along with being a lot of fun, doing that gave me an understanding of branching dialogue, conditional text, and scripting, as well as how to playtest effectively, take feedback, and tailoring dialogue to fit within an existing game.

Then life happened and I didn't do much of that kind of writing until ten years ago, when I learned about Twine and started making games using it. That led me to publishing IF with the now-defunct sub-Q Magazine which was a great initiative that paid well for interactive fiction. From there I revisited Choice of Games which I'd played a bit previously, started publishing with them, and then began doing other work in the games industry.

⟶ Looking back, is there anything you wish you knew before starting IF writing?

Scope creep is a massive thing, and it's important to try to mitigate it where possible when planning and while writing. But... although I'm great at working within restrictions that other people put on me, I have a tendency to spread past most restrictions I put on myself, like a large cat overflowing over the edges of a small box. My CoG game Noblesse Oblige, the one in which I kept the closest eye on word count, ended up 40,000 words longer than I originally intended. Honor Bound, which I intended to be shorter than my previous game Royal Affairs, is over 100,000 words longer. So I haven't really internalised that advice for myself!

⟶ You started your journey into IF games with Twine. Was there a particular reason for that. Was it largely due to the loss of sub-Q Magazine? And what led you to try out CScript after?

Heh, it's more that with my Choice of Games titles, I have more freedom than I have with other projects so I have more leeway to go bigger with it!

I learned about various IF communities around the time that my friend Maz Hamilton made their Twine game Detritus in 2013. I felt inspired by playing lots of Twine games, decided to learn myself and made my first game, Aquarium! I liked that I didn't have to be a programmer to understand and use it, and that I could play around with lots of reactivity to the player's actions.

Alongside that, I rediscovered Choice of Games and got very into their catalogue. I learned ChoiceScript - again, I appreciated that it was beginner-friendly with potential for more complexity if I wanted it - and started three or so games which didn't go anywhere. But when sub-Q Magazine contacted me to ask about reprinting one of my Twine games it was very exciting to hear that people would pay me for my writing!

After publishing more IF with sub-Q, I applied to write for Choice of Games and went from there. That said, though, I carried on making games with other engines like Twine, Raconteur (which I don't know if many others have done!), Texture, and ink, plus various in-house studio's engines. So although I'm mostly working with ChoiceScript right now (which I love!), there's always been a lot of overlap. There are advantages to different tools for different kinds of projects!

⟶ You’ve written quite a few academia inspired IF games. Is this a genre you’re a big fan of? Is there a genre you’re looking forward to trying next?

Yes, I've enjoyed a lot of books in academic settings, including in boarding schools, ever since I was little! In adult life, I especially enjoyed Laurinda by Alice Pung, Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark, and The Secret History by Donna Tartt. And when I'm writing, I enjoy putting player characters in situations where they have rules guiding them (whether that's school, social etiquette, a workplace, family obligations, a reality TV show, etc...) and they can work within those rules or push against them. I also like exploring the gaps and tensions between work/school and the outside world. Plus schools are a hothouse of intense emotions and boarding schools have everyone living in each other's pockets - making them great places for drama to ensue!

⟶ Honour Bound just came out recently, congratulations! Even if it’s not your first project, it must be quite exciting. Any post-release thoughts you would like to share with us?

Thank you so much! Releasing a title never gets old, so I've been very excited (and nervous) around this time. For people who don't know Honor Bound, in it you play as a disgraced, injured military officer who's been reassigned to guard a teenage prodigy at a wilderness boarding school for the children of the rich and famous. You can recover or trash your health, career, and reputation, and befriend, romance, or backstab your colleagues, and thwart or enact shady schemes.

I love Honor Bound and I'm really proud of it! It was really fun to write from the perspective of an adult in the Crème de la Cr��me setting and explore another part of the world. The small town and school in which Honor Bound is set feel like real places to me that I'd love to visit, and I really fell in love with the characters - the PC as well as the NPCs. The PC can develop such different personalities and go down different paths and I'm delighted to be hearing about people's adventures.

I learned a huge amount from writing Honor Bound and developed a lot of skills doing it. I'm a little sad to leave it behind, but excited for what I'm doing next!

⟶ Besides Honour Bound and your other amazing creations in the Crème de la Crème universe, there are also shorts available on your Itch.io page. Did you always plan on making several games or did that idea come later?

Haha, I wasn't really planning anything when I first started writing IF! I was just experimenting and writing things that I enjoyed making and that I thought I'd enjoy playing, and learning different things that IF tools could do along the way.

I certainly didn't think I'd be doing this as a job ten years on! (I do very much recommend starting with shorter pieces when learning new tools/languages - it's much easier to get something finished that way, and I learn something with every project I complete.)

⟶ What’s your process of deciding how many choices the readers get? That’s something many have a tad bit trouble finalizing.

It depends a lot on the kind of game and scene it is. I like using the choices available to show something about the PC's state of mind and priorities, as well as inviting the player to choose what actions they want to take. It helps with setting different tones a lot! think a lot about what the effects of the choice are, whether it splits into major or minor branches, has mechanical effects, or is self-expressive for the PC, etc.

In my Choice of Games games, and with some of the other games I've worked on, there have been style requirements to always have at least three choices. With CoG work I usually write more like four or five because I like the variety. I tend to lean towards 3-5 even if I'm just writing something for myself, depending on the kind of scene and set of options... but there are always exceptions. Having two choices or even one can be effective too!

⟶ How do you deal with the complexity of branching narratives? Are there moments when you feel frustrated?

I plan it out in quite a lot of detail in advance - if I try to code and write at the same time, I get bogged down. I can still change things up and make discoveries as I do each type of work, but it helps me not go down as many rabbit-holes as I would if I didn't plan...

That said, frustration can definitely happen when I've planned something more complicated than I intended and I feel tied to it, or when I go down a path a little too long before realising I need to change something. Both those things can be mitigated with experience, planning, and clear intentions, but it tends to happen at some stage no matter how many games I make - it's in the nature of it!

⟶ How do you get inspired? It’s different for everyone, but we are curious about your inspiration process—after all, a good story comes into being from the first spark, correct?

I get inspired by all kinds of things! Sometimes from games, books, film, or TV that I've enjoyed - or didn't enjoy as much as I hoped, or that I'd like to explore myself from a different angle. Sometimes from art, technology, nature, current and historical events, scientific facts and developments, or something that happened in a TTRPG session. Often, something will sit in my mind for a long time before I use it for something. For my first CoG game, Blood Money, I liked the idea of magic powered by blood because I wanted it to be harmful to the person using it; various pieces of folklore and myth include ghosts being attracted to blood, so putting that together helped me think of the magic mechanics. For Crème de la Crème, I liked the idea of writing a mostly non-violent game, as Blood Money was very violent, that still had high stakes; I'd also been wanting to write a school story for some time as I enjoyed that kind of setting. I love the process of developing a PC, mechanics, and goals from an initial set of nebulous thoughts.

The big thing, I think, is that I try to be open to a wide variety of ideas and inspiration, and not to limit myself. Taking inspiration purely from one area - whether that's the type of media being read or played, or the genre, or tone - means missing out on a lot of richness and texture. So I always recommend that people who want to start writing IF explore a lot of different kinds of writing and games. (Really that's good advice no matter how long you've been writing!)

⟶ What about writer’s block? Many people suffer from it. How do you deal with your creative block?

The vast majority of the times I have trouble writing, it's because of outside factors - life stuff, stress, health, etc. So in those circumstances, my being blocked means I need to pay attention to those factors to avoid burnout. Trying to power through causes problems, so rest and protecting my health are what I try to do then.

The rest of the time is usually due to me trying to push through a scene that doesn't feel strong enough, or doesn't feel true to the characters involved, or doesn't quite work for some other reason. The "block" is a signal that I need to change something. When that happens, talking to someone is my first port of call. Sometimes just talking it out (like "rubber ducking") is enough for me to recognise what that change needs to be; sometimes it involves a more in-depth discussion. Either way, it always helps untangle things and put me back on the right track.

⟶ How do you create characters that a player can connect with? And characters that feel real?

I like creating characters with specificity. They might start with a general feel or inspiration - in Honor Bound, for example, I knew I wanted the parent of the PC's teenage charge to be a single parent who was a romanceable character. But it's important to me to quickly drill into the details of what makes them feel authentic and specific. Great characters are more than what players want them to do, or being a vehicle for a trope, or attractiveness.

The characters I love best are the ones who feel like they have their own minds, while being responsive to the player's actions. When writing IF, there's a great opportunity to invite players to engage directly with characters, and that responsiveness is what makes them feel real.

⟶ For you, has there ever been a moment when you felt a deep connection to a character(s) you wrote?

I feel that a lot! Pretty much whenever I'm writing. For some particular moments, though... the PC eavesdropping on a conversation between Hartmann or Delacroix with their parents in Crème de la Crème; Pascha climbing on rocks at the beach in Noblesse Oblige; Hyacinthe talking about success and failure in Royal Affairs; Savarel talking about burnout in Honor Bound.

I feel a particular connection with the Honor Bound PC - partly because they're the most recent PC that I wrote, and partly because there's a lot of self-expression that the player can do and explore. I really enjoyed giving players the chance to personalise their PC's life and to write responsively to it.

⟶ Do you have a character that you think is slightly difficult to write as compared to the others?

Characters whom the PC already knows well can be challenging because of the knowledge/familiarity gap between the PC and the player. A lot of the family members in Blood Money were like this; the PC's family and their guard Asher in Royal Affairs; the PC's old friend Denario and the PC's mentor, Alva, in Honor Bound.

Asher in Royal Affairs was especially difficult because at least the PC hasn't seen Denario for a number of years! But with Asher, they've been in close proximity for many years before the start of the game and it would have been easy for interactions to lean too hard on assumed past feelings or experiences. So it was a juggling act making interactions feel fresh with them while keeping a sense of familiarity and giving options for the PC not to want to hang out with them!

⟶ Is there a character whose backstory was the most fun to write? Why?

I enjoy writing characters who don't want to talk about their backstories, so the process of finding out more about them can be an emotional experience in itself. Honor Bound is very fresh in my mind and I'm feeling very affectionate towards the characters in it at the moment so I'd say Korzha the aloof teacher, Fiore the anxious scientist, and Savarel the thoughtful workaholic priest... For various reasons, they aren't immediately forthcoming about things in their life and history, and it was fun writing the points at which the PC can discover that and get to know them better.

⟶ Would you choose a happy ending or sad one? Why?

The joy of writing games is that I don't have to choose a single ending. Sometimes the endings have similar tones - some of my Twine games have bleak endings, like Heretic Dreams or Thanksgiving. But sometimes they can vary a lot more and I love exploring that! I do enjoy making sure that a less successful, or sad, ending has a lot of emotion in it, to make it feel worth playing.

For playing... I have a lot of fondness for endings that allow me to have ambivalent or bittersweet situations. When I played Love Undying: A Kiss Before Dawn and Stars Arisen, or indeed the non-IF game Pathologic 2 this year, I didn't have "perfect" endings but they were very satisfying and reflected where my character was at. So things don't always have to go my PC's way to end on a note that feels good.

⟶ Just recently you officially announced a new project. Could you tell us more about it? What can we be excited about?

Ooh, I will keep most of it under wraps for the moment! But for now I will say... it's a second-world fantasy game, there's a great deal of peril, a lot of creepy magic, and a selection of intense and complicated characters who I can't wait to write!

⟶ How would the person you were when you started this journey react to how far you've gotten?

Oh gosh! Honestly, ten years ago I couldn't have imagined that I'd still be putting my work out there at all, still less that people would pay for it or that it could possibly be my job. Life was so different then as well in any number of ways! I think they'd be shocked and intrigued, and wonder how it happened. Which is how I feel sometimes myself, haha!

⟶ Do you have any advice for people who want to get into IF writing?

Experiment with short or simple writing first, and try different styles to figure out what you do and don't like, and don't expect to write something perfect on the first try. Play lots of different kinds of games. Have a solid sense of what your intention is, while also taking feedback into consideration. And most of all, enjoy yourself!

ONCE AGAIN BIG THANKS TO HARRIS POWELL-SMITH FOR SITTING WITH US!

IT WAS LOVELY TO HAVE YOU!

[bonanzafly]

though i am a byler fan through and through, i do see the mileven vision in season one of the show. will hadn't even been introduced yet, and i've gotta admit, they were cute. my personal belief is that someone can't fall in love in that short amount of time, and that neither mike nor el were mature enough to have actually be ready for anything romantic. particularly el who didn't even know what a friend was until just a few days prior to mike asking her to the snow ball. i also think that mike may have just been trying to fill a hole that will left with his disappearance, which explains his attachment to el. despite these being my personal views, none of that is really canon, and mileven was intended to be a main ship in the first season. I can appreciate it's cuteness! i feel like we should also remember that we hadn't even truly met will in the first season, and his relationship with mike didn't seem much different than with the other boys in my opinion. lucas cared just as much if not more about finding will in the beginning, especially when mike was distracted with el. lucas is also described as being mike's best friend, and dustin claims it's obvious that lucas and mike are closer than the other boys.

i see lots of bylers claim that byler is going to be endgame because their relationship has been obvious and clear from the beginning, but that’s just not true. season one only has two or three scenes depicting the pair together, and their relationship is not a focus at all. the focus of where we see will is his friendship with all the boys as a part of the group. the only special scene we see with them is the iconic scene where will tells mike the truth of the roll being a seven, which i think is good evidence for byler due to will’s compulsion to be honest with him, but it’s so small it can be written off as insignificant. we start to really see evidence and setup for byler in season two, which is the season i think mileven kinda fell off in (just in my own opinion!!). i think it’s just because mike has will back and is no longer in need of someone to cling to while will is gone.

now let me be clear, i am a full believer of byler and would absolutely love it if byler was endgame, but i just want to break the illusion that us bylers have begun to build about mike and will having a clear and obvious romantic connection from the get go. mileven was the original ship in the show, and mike was set up to be with el. that doesn’t necessarily mean they are going to be endgame! i think there is a decent possibility for either of the ships to become endgame, or for the show to end with mike and el being single. i would personally be disappointed if the show ended with mileven endgame as i don’t think that their relationship is healthy, and i don’t think they’re right for each other, but i want to be ready for any possibility. no matter what bylers think, there are still a great deal of people that love mileven and want it to be endgame, and they have certainly been set up as a ship since the beginning.

[trainsinanime]

I'm still considering whether I'll do any non-vague posting about this, but let me just say: Writing long and erudite posts about what you think is wrong with a French children's TV show does not absolve you from the accusation that you're doing… let's call it entry-level analysis. A post can be long and well-written and still just regurgitate the most basic, boring points, and some of them plainly wrong.

Actually maybe don't read this, it may be too salty itself.

"Adrien is sometimes too pushy", "Marinette is sometimes a stalker", "Alya is a bad friend because she's unwilling to bully a random new girl just because Marinette said so", yeah, yeah, we've heard it. More than once. Way more than once. Yes, even with receipts and quotes. Trust me, it's been discussed. These are the kind of standard hot takes of someone who is doing their first attempt at critical analysis, and I actually think on some level we should encourage that. I do believe fandom should be beginner-friendly in all regards.

But man, it can be annoying to read sometimes. Especially when someone uses these hot takes to justify the existence of salt fics. Let me be 100% clear here: Salt fics are not a reaction to flaws in the source material. Salt fics are materially different from fix-it fics. This becomes more clear when you track these patterns over fandoms, and in particular look at my favourite example over in Fairy Tail (sic).

That fandom has a number of fandom-specific plots, like some "angel of death sends main character back to relive the origins with the knowledge they had later" (also very popular in Harry Potter back in the day), but also one that is just 100% salt specific: It's about Lisanna, a childhood friend of the male lead Natsu, coming back from the alternate universe she was trapped in, and displacing Lucy, the female lead, who eventually leaves, sad and depressed, while nobody cares about her. The sentiments are all the same: Feeling depressed, feeling annoyed that your friends are suddenly interested in the new girl, feeling like you don't belong anymore, leaving your friend group to punish them and so on.

There are some differences as well. This whole thing was back in the days of Fanfiction.net, when crossovers were in a whole other section of the site and thus not easily findable, so the whole "…I'm going to run away to somewhere where people want me" never had the frankly hilarious addition of "…and when I'm there I'm going to marry Batman!", which spawned a whole sub-fandom in ML (its fans tell me that it's not all salt; I haven't bothered to check).

But the most important difference: The inciting incident never happened in canon. People just thought it might. In canon, Lisanna did return from her alternate dimension… and then immediately became a forgotten background character. Lucy and Natsu remained just as in love as they always had been, which is to say, very much except they don't seem to notice it. Their relationship was never strained even for a moment.

And still people wrote these stories that are functionally salt fics, with the same storylines, same emotions, same beats. Because salt fics are not about fixing what is wrong with the show. If they were, they'd spend all their time discussing the terribly fucked-up metro map. Salt fics are about exploring feelings of loneliness, isolation, "why are you hanging out with here when I told you she sucks" and just pure spite, in a way that you don't really see outside of pop songs. That is the end goal. The characters and plots are just a way to get there, and they will get twisted as necessary.

This is critical for understanding and discussing the phenomenon of salt fics. Alya is not actually getting demonised because she acted a bit stupid in one episode where everybody but Marinette acted a bit stupid. It's incredibly weird to hear this argument, and then all the supporting quotes for it, in the same post, right underneath, are all:

Alya: Okay, but do you have any proof? Marinette (angrily): Arrghlwargl! No!

Like, come on. Alya is getting demonised because people really want to. Because it works for the kind of story. These stories assume that it's Alya's job to always support Marinette unconditionally, and that any deviation from that, no matter how minor, is a highest order betrayal. And then they go full Count of Monte Cristo on her.

(Well, not really, that could almost be fun. Nobody ever has Marinette imprisoned for fourteen years, get out with the help of a hypnotist monk, use a buried pirate treasure to buy an island, then manipulate a telegraph line to… It's all just torn notebooks and such. Boring.)

The idea that people hate Alya for mostly valid reasons is just plain wrong and shows that you've missed a huge part of what's happening in the fandom. You could use all the Alya hate as an entry point into analysing what her role is in the show, how people in the fandom perceive her role, how people in the salt dom perceive her role, how her role and her personality shift depending on the needs of an episode at the expense of a consistent character and so on. There is some great analysis in that direction out there already, but more wouldn't hurt. "Alya is a bad friend sometimes because of Chameleon" remains an uninteresting take no matter how well you word it, though.

And that's just Alya. Adrien hate, for example, is its entirely own field. In short: Yes, some characters in this fandom are over-hated. Try digging deeper next time.

[personthattoleratesme]

So, you want to study new phannies?

well, same, i don't know what happened to me either but let me try to explain, you might find it amusing

you see, I'm 19 now, so back when they first were active i wasn't enough chronically online to be obsessed with any internet personality. (for reference, i was five when dan posted his first video.)

then covid and lockdowns happened and through some twists and turns i was catapulted deep into the 1D fandom, more specifically the larry portion of it. it was incredibly toxic and unhealthy, but it was also so much fun and taught me a lot about fandom and shipping culture. i eventually moved on into much healthier fandom spaces and honestly thought (and hoped) i was over being a fan of Real Living Human Beings.

now, i had obviously heard of dan and phil before but never watched any of their videos. so when they announced the return of dapg and everyone here freaked out about it i thought, eh, might as well take a look.

i don't know what it was about them, their dynamic, the casual happy queerness, the way they love and care for each other, their little stupid quirks, dan's way with words, but it pulled me in so damn quickly. so far i have no regrets, watching them is so nice and comforting.

however it also felt so intoxicatingly familiar to when i first got into larry, which scared me at first because i did not want to go back to anything like that time of my life. by now i have realised that this is different. it feels like a better version of whatever i had going on back then, because this time there is no need for wild speculations and intrusive theorising. them being themselves and sharing what they want to share is more than enough. maybe it's just hopeful thinking but i feel like it is actually possible to have a healthy parasocial relationship with them.

i might have missed it just a teeny tiny bit.

also!!! i feel like i picked the exact right time for this new obsession because there's so much going on, it's so fun and i amm excited for the future!

dunno if the tumblr phandom is the right place for me, right now i am pretty content with just lurking and watching you guys do your thing

with love,

a new phannie

first of all i want to say welcome new phannie! i hope you enjoy and benefit from the enrichment of our little corner of the internet.

i really enjoyed reading your story. as soon as i read larry i had a visceral full-body reaction ngl, i'm so sorry you went through that.

you have really chosen an excellent time to become a phannie. the toxicity is mostly out of the fandom, dnp are in control of the narrative now, and we don't have to deal with all the phan proof shit anymore.

it gives me so much joy that nowadays their queer happiness can be a factor in becoming a fan of theirs. there's just something so special about how after everything they've been through - and everything we've been through as phandom - that there is now this wonderfully queer and happy space that can feel safe and inviting for young queer people.

i really hope that this parasocial relationship with them will turn out to be what you're looking for. when i was a teenager they helped me through so much, and now that we're all older and have been able to grow as people i think we genuinely have a very good and healthy parasocial relationship with them as a fandom.

thank you so much for your sharing your story, i genuinely find it so fascinating to learn about 2023 phannies.

you're totally welcome to lurk here for as long as you want. i was a lurker for a long time cause phannie tumblr kind of scared me. i used to only exist in the anon asks of other users and feel free to do the same.

now i want to know: what was your first dnp video?

[shesnake]

hello here's my little Armand essay. spoilers for season 2 and content warnings for discussions of racism, csa, intimate partner violence.

[mistyffa]

Something I've been thinking about a lot recently is working with another feeder to blow up a feedee...

Especially if they're starting at the same size as us. Just having a cute NEET girl move in with us, her body all tight and toned. It starts small with my partner and I cooking her bigger meals than she's used to, always with a healthy slab of butter. There's always snacks lying around the house, specially curated to her tastes so she forgets she's even overeating. After a few months she's developed a nice, soft layer of pudge over her entire body, her hips are a little wider, a bit of a double chin is coming in, her belly pushes against her leggings and dresses, and she's started to slow down a little.

Then the weight starts to pile on faster. Depending on each of our moods, one of us feeds her more intently while the other comforts her and takes care of the house. Sometimes for fun we'll whisper about her progress just loud enough for her to hear us from the next room. We talk about how much thicker and softer her thighs are, how her tits have gotten fuller, how cute she looks when she's snacking on the couch. Then we act surprised when we walk into the den and see her double-fisting a soda and an ice cream sandwich with a sly grin on her face. By this point she's solidly chubby; her thighs and belly jiggle when she walks, and she hasn't quite realized the wardrobe she started out with is much too small for her now. She totally fills her athletic shorts, which nowadays she only uses to lounge around the house, and she always needs one of us to help clasp her bra.

Fast forward another year or so, and she's completely puffed up. She'd put on at least a hundred pounds and gone through two wardrobes. The first time she popped the buttons off a pair of pants, we went out for dinner to celebrate, but now it's become a regular occurrence. Her days all blend together for the most part. My partner and I would set up our work schedules so one of us will always be home with her, preparing her meals and feeding her so she doesn't have to waste any calories standing by the stove or moving the food from her plate to her mouth. Essentially every waking moment for her is spent completely stuffed. On weekends, when we're all home together, we like to have a little extra fun. My partner and I would cook her at least five full meals a day, each a couple thousand calories, with lots of snacks and sweets in between. When she's not eating she's splayed out on the couch, puffing on her wax pen. One of us cuddles her, rubbing her belly and squeezing her tits, whispering teasing words into her ear. The other kneels on the floor between her legs, holding her gut out of the way while she eats her out. Then the timer goes off, and it's back to pigging out.

At night, we'd stand her up in front of a mirror and point out every new stretch mark and curve. We'd talk to each other about how much we loved her huge hips and her hanging gut, how cute her plush arms are, how fun it is to cup her double chin when we kiss her. We never address her directly so she can squirm in her overwhelming horniness. Sometimes we like to pull out her old clothes and help her try them on. Lately it's taken both of us just to pull her old tshirts down over her belly and breasts, at least twice as wide as they used to be.

She loves it though. She loves the attention, the humiliation, the constant care, the approval she gets when she outgrows another outfit. She loves nothing more than lounging around all day, stuffing herself to her heart's content, smoking pot, and watching TV.

And we love it too, of course. Watching her grow and settle into her new body, then do it all again. Doing everything for her. Talking about our plans for her. Our next goal is to make her big enough that she needs help standing, which doesn't seem too far off, seeing as she's already huffing and puffing every time she needs to get up on her own. And we can't wait.

[cowboygideon]

I love so much how every time we see art and patrick before knee-gate, they're eating (or drinking) something "unhealthy." Like the hotdogs and the churros and the cigarettes, of course (which I'm now realizing are all phallic symbolism LMAO) plus the coca-colas and the beer. Because it just furthers this idea that Patrick is a kind of corrupting force to Art, who we know, as Ice, is a very controlled person. And then, during their final game, you have Art with his fuckass protein paste, or whatever, but Patrick with the banana, which obviously isn't unhealthy, but still something much more akin to the food of your average person—and he offers it to him! Jokingly, yeah, because he knows he's not going to take it, but also, like offering his hand, inviting Art to take part in his own corruption once again. Plus, a banana?? Could they have found a more dick-like food? Insanity.

Also I like that the one scene we have of the throuple in a room together (the party notwithstanding), Tashi is also drinking the beer. Because Patrick stokes the fire in her too, brings out a part of her that Art alone doesn't.

I was thinking about this because I saw a cut scene in the script, where Tashi and Art smoke a cigarette, and I found it really interesting. Because, for one, I understand why they'd cut it, since such a big part of the artashi dynamic is restraint, repression, both pushed further into the frigid parts of their personalities, so having them do something like that without Patrick around might remove some of that. But ALSO I think it was such a good scene because they both start coughing during it, and it sort of feels like their trying to make up for Patrick's absence with each other, but they fail. They need Patrick to push them completely out of their comfort zones—or else they'll just keep toeing that line between the familiar and the unfamiliar, safety and freedom.

Anyway, in conclusion, welcome back Adam and Eve and that fucking snake, enjoy your apple [polyamory].

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 19th december, 2022 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

this was my view the first time i listened to arctic monkeys. i was sitting in a parked car in the middle of a downpour, waiting for a friend who was at an appointment. i had an hour to kill, and i didn't feel like reading my book. i scrolled restlessly through my spotify library, and, on a whim, decided to listen to 505. it'd been on my playlist of 'to listen to' forever, but for some reason i'd never felt drawn to it until that particular afternoon. i pressed play, and when the song finished i pressed play again. and again. and again. i had goosebumps and my heart was full of something music hadn't evoked in me for a very long time.

i found the 'essential arctic monkeys' playlist and listened to everything i could, suddenly wishing that i had more than an hour, that my friend's appointment would go on and on so that i could stay here in this magical little bubble forever, feeling my heart opening itself up to something brand new and yet hearing parts of myself i'd known forever in the words, like they were somehow waiting for me to come and find them. it felt like someone had switched on a light. like something had come in and reignited a spark i didn't know i'd lost, and i was suddenly glowing with it. nothing had ever spoken to my creativity in the same way; after a long time squashing or trying to reshape it, i could feel it coming to life again, feel it being spoken to so vividly by the music it was as though they were having a direct conversation.

i love a lot of bands and a lot of music, but i've never fallen in love with any music as quickly or as deeply as i did with arctic monkeys. i don't think there's any other band that i've had such a profound first listening experience with, where i remember exactly where i was and how it felt. but the memory of listening to 505 and crying lightning and don't sit down 'cause i've moved your chair and arabella in that parked car, watching the rain slide down the glass and smudge the dusk, is something i know i'll remember forever. i could *feel* my world shifting on its axis, and, looking back, that instinct was totally spot on. completely out of the blue and in a way i never expected, arctic monkeys reunited me with my creativity in a way i'd needed for years. within days of listening to them for the first time, i'd started writing my novel, and a couple of months down the line i'd written over 40k. it was the most i'd written in years, and that's not even to mention the fanfic that rapidly became the most fun and fulfilling escapism i'd discovered in a long time. i felt myself seeing and connecting with the world around me in a brand new way that felt exciting and vivid, strange and beautiful and full of subtle, unnoticed meaning. it felt as though i had suddenly been given permission to write the world the way i experienced it, rather than trying to capture on paper what i thought other people wanted it to be.

as if all that wasn't enough, their music has also allowed me to connect with some incredibly special people and make wonderful friends both here and in real life.

it's truly hard to put into words the profound and unexpected impact this band has had on my life and just how much solace their music brings me, but at the very least i wanted to recognise that by acknowledging the anniversary of the first day i listened to them. it's a wonderful reminder of how the smallest action can change your life, and how those changes you need can find their way to you in ways you'd never have foreseen. i will be forever grateful to the serendipity of boredom and spotify playlists on that rainy afternoon in december 💖

[3-aem]

UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO UNSEAL GOJO

[harleyquilt]

Human!Kaneki x Ghoul!Touka hc:

They're at that weird stage where they've gotten close, but are having a hard time making their relationship official. Kaneki feels it would be wrong to ask, thinking he's already undeserving of so much, much less of Touka's love. Touka, meanwhile, has accepted that she does have feelings for him, but whenever she thinks to tell him, she freezes up, the words stuck in her throat. And so they stay in this awkward state for some time.

Frustrated, Touka decides to ask Yoriko for advice. Not wanting to admit her feelings aloud, she tries to present it as a completely made-up scenario that randomly came to her mind at that moment. She's already blushing by the time she finishes her question.

Yoriko knows better, of course, but isn't aware of Touka being a ghoul, so she tells Touka that she thinks cooking is a great way to show someone their intent. Touka frowns hearing this and noticing her reaction, Yoriko offers to help Touka if that's what she'd like to do. Embarrassed, Touka immediately protests and insists that this has nothing to do with her, unfortunately shooting down Yoriko's much needed aid.

Later, Touka skims through recipe after recipe, from breakfast to dinner, from savoury to sweet, but in the end, she's left stumped, knowing little about the differences in all of these meals. She's tempted to search for 'romantic' meals, but the thought alone embarrasses her too much to try. In a bid of desperation, she eventually texts Kaneki, asking him what his favourite meal is. He responds quickly, saying it is hamburger steak, and after a minute, he asks her why she wanted to know. Touka doesn't answer, instead focusing all of her attention into finding a good, easy recipe for her to make.

It doesn't take her long to find all the ingredients, and setting the list of instructions to her side, she stares at the counter, daunted by this new challenge. Opening each packet of food, her lips twist together and she presses the back of her hand against her nose. She swallows and slowly lowers her hand, reminding herself why she's doing this, and finding her resolve, she forces herself to prepare the dish.

The next day, she finds Kaneki alone in the staff room, and noticing her, he turns to say hi. Before he can, though, Touka presents him a small bento box, frowning and her lips pursed, but a warm, pink blush across her cheeks. He's surprised, shocked even, and when he reaches to take it, Touka immediately pulls it away, her intensity quickly melting into shame. She confesses that it might taste terrible, that she had no idea what it was she was doing, that this was a stupid mistake.

Kaneki smiles and takes the bento box from her, opening it to find a small, overcooked hamburger steak and a rabbit drawn on top with a drizzle of sauce. Kaneki's heart flutters and his eyes crease as his smile grows, tears threatening to fall. Touka is taken aback, yet she doesn't make any remark, watching him wipe away his tears before confessing that he didn't expect this at all. He takes some chopsticks and tastes it, letting out a small laugh when he does.

"What...?" Touka asks, almost cautious.

Kaneki takes another small piece to eat. "I'll show you how to make it next time."

Touka snatches the box and threatens to throw it away, but Kaneki protests, insisting he loves it all the same.

After a while, he finally asks, "why did you do this for me? You don't owe me anything, you know."

"Idiot." She lightly kicks his shin, watching him finish his bento. "I wanted to show you..." Her voice trails off.

Kaneki tilts his head. "Show me what?"

She looks away. "My, uh...my intent."

"What do--"

"I like you." She mutters, gripping the edge of the table she's leaning against. "Idiot."

"O-Oh." Kaneki looks back down at the empty bento, his cheeks suddenly very warm. A rush of thoughts pass through his mind, but in the end, all he says is, "I wasn't sure."

"And now that you know?"

He rises from his seat and stands in front of her, taking her hand. Looking up, she can see that he's as red as a beet, and his hand trembles while holding up her hand, but he looks at her with clear, steady eyes.

"Will you g-go on a date with me, Touka-chan?"

She tenses, a small noise in her throat, and her fingers tighten around Kaneki's. She swallows and responds with a small, timid nod.

"Okay," she breathes. Kaneki, too, lets out a sigh of relief. "I would...I would like that. And maybe afterwards...you can show me how to make that stupid dish."

[dragonanon]

can you do a chapter based on your Death!Reader and God!Brother hcs where Death wakes up from her sleep and goes to Heaven to check up on her brother's children and everyone is obviously terrified of her?

Hmmm…I’m not typically one to do requests because the urge to write is so sporadic and random for me. BUT I have been thinking about the initial confrontation in Heaven for a while now, so here are some head cannons for that. >w>

——

- It’s a typical perfect day in Heaven…Until it isn’t. Having seen what had become of your realm and learning Heaven was to blame for it, you’re on your way to rip someone a new asshole.

- Screams erupt from the Angels as the ground begins to shake and the bright sky darkens. Sera and Emily rush out just in time to join the Angels in watching in abject terror as a massive pool of darkness forms on the ground, and from it slowly rises a menacing figure.

- The figure is massive, and it only continues to rise until even the tallest building barely reaches its hips. Its six long horns twist and arch toward the sky, only making the figure appear even taller. Upon reaching its full height, the figure spreads its six mighty wings, each one sporting a menacingly sharp claw and all as shrouded in darkness as the rest of the figure.

- As its wings blot out the sun further, the figure opens its many blazing white eyes; two where you’d normally expect to see eyes, a third in the center of its forehead, and dozens more scattered across its wings and body.

- Sera lost all color as soon as she saw the figure rising, and somehow lost even MORE color when the figure opened all of its eyes. She looks like she shit herself, and Emily is panicking, trying desperately to get Sera to tell her what’s going on; she’s never seen the older Seraph look so terrified.

- With this unimaginably imposing figure now looming over Heaven, Adam decides this is the PERFECT time to attack, having been dumb enough to think this was a Demon attacking Heaven.

- The exorcists fly up towards the figure, ready to attack. This only angers the figure further however, and with a rumble that shakes the ground itself, the figure merely flaps its wings; creating a gust of wind so powerful it knocks all the exorcists back onto the ground.

- It’s at this point Sera FINALLY snaps out of it, rushing to Adam in mad panic and damn nearly strangling him while telling him to call off the exorcists. Which he does, albeit with some reluctance.

- This doesn’t stop him from asking Sera what gives, and her response is “Adam you absolute fucking fool, that is DEATH!”

- Now it’s Adam’s turn to look like he shit himself. “Death? As in, “the big man himself’s younger sister” Death?? As in, “the baddest bitch you’ve EVER seen, but can kill ANYTHING by just touching it” Death??? THAT fucking Death????” Ignoring that last statement, Sera’s frantic nodding in confirmation confirms to Adam that he has indeed fucked up. Big time. Adam then proceeds to lose all color in his face and practically cowers behind Sera as she cautiously approaches you, mentally preparing herself to be reaped on the spot.

- Back to your perspective however, you’re fucking PISSED. So pissed that you don’t even notice or stop to think that most of Heaven’s inhabitants likely have NO CLUE who you are, and are likely legitimately fearing for their lives. Meanwhile for all the older Angels and Angelic beings who’ve been alive long enough to have known you before you went to sleep, like Sera, they’re all still very much afraid, but it’s more in line with the “oh shit mom’s home early and she saw the mess we made in the kitchen, she’s gonna kill us!” kind of fear.

- The fact that they sent exorcists at you makes you even angrier. Like for starters, how fucking weak do they think you are that you could be stopped by just some low level Angelic beings with pointy sticks?? And then the audacity to even attack you to begin with, like THEY weren’t the ones who fucked up and you’re just some kind of strange intruder needing to be slain?? The INDIGNITY of it all!

- Your voice booms throughout Heaven, making even the ground tremble at the sheer intensity of it. “WHO DID IT?” You’re met with only silence, so you ask again with more force. “MY REALM IS A COMPLETE MESS WITH MILLIONS OF DISPLACED SOULS RIGHT NOW. SO AGAIN I ASK, WHICH ONE OF YOU FLAT FOOT CHILDREN DID THIS?!”

- Sera replies, voice trembling slightly. “Are…Are you talking about the exterminations? “IF THAT IS WHAT YOU’RE CALLING THIS MOCKERY OF MY WORK, THEN YES.” Sera looks visibly confused and concerned. “But…That SHOULDN’T be possible!…The exterminations KILL the Sinners; their souls should be gone, not stuck in Limbo! There has to be some kind of mistake here!”

- Hearing this, you can’t help but let out a brief but harsh cackle, making the ground jolt from the abruptness. “DEAR YOU HONESTLY THINK A SOUL COULD BE SO EASY TO DESTROY? A SOUL IS A POWERFUL THING FOR A REASON CHILD, IF THEY WERE SO EASILY DESTROYED THEN NONE OF YOU WOULD BE STANDING HERE BEFORE ME NOW!…SO ONCE AGAIN, WHO. DID. THIS?! AND SO HELP ME, IF I HAVE TO ASK AGAIN THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES.”

- Whilst Sera is dumbfounded by this revelation, Adam sees a golden opportunity to save his ass and points at Sera. “I-It was her! Yeah it was all fucking HER idea! I-I tried to tell her it was stupid, b-but she just REALLY wanted to go down and kill those bast- Demons! Yeah she REALLY wanted to kill all those poor Demons, can ya fucking believe this shit?!”

- Before Sera can defend herself, the darkness seems to intensify, and she can just FEEL every one of your eyes glaring daggers into her. “SERA…YOU SIGNED OFF ON THIS?? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, I EXPECTED SO MUCH BETTER FROM YOU! I LEFT EXPLICIT INSTRUCTIONS FOR HEAVEN AND HELL TO WORK TOGETHER TO SORT SOULS FOR THIS VERY REASON! AND NOW BECAUSE OF THESE BARBARIC “EXTERMINATIONS”, YOU’VE COMPLETELY DESTROYED THE BALANCE I WORKED SO HARD TO CREATE AND MAINTAIN. I HOPE YOU’RE PROUD OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE I’M CERTAINLY NOT!”

- It’s a strange and mildly amusing sight to see the head seraph get scolded like a misbehaving child by this massive dark entity. But here we are anyway!

- At one point during the tongue lashing you’re giving to your niece, Emily buts in and asks for an explanation for what’s going on; having not heard Sera’s previous explanation to Adam apparently.

- Your temper flares for a brief moment, and you just about launched into another lecture at the little shit who DARED interrupt you. But upon seeing Emily, you softened considerably, seeing that she was young and TRULY didn’t understand what was happening.

- “AH…I APOLOGIZE DEAR, BUT I DON’T THINK I RECOGNIZE YOU…COME CLOSER LITTLE ONE SO I CAN SEE YOU.” You slowly crouch down and lower your hand, offering Emily to climb onto it. Emily is hesitant, obviously a bit scared of you. But Sera encourages her to go to you, she knows that you won’t hurt Emily and it’s high time she meets her aunt anyway.

- With the small seraph in hand, you stand back up to your full height and bring her closer to your face. Now FINALLY able to see her properly, you speak. “YOU’RE FAIRLY YOUNG FOR A SERAPH…YOU MUST’VE BEEN BORN DURING MY SLUMBER, AND IN THAT CASE I APOLOGIZE THIS HAD TO BE OUR FIRST MEETING. TELL ME, WHAT IS YOUR NAME CHILD?”

- Her voice trembling slightly, Emily tells you her name and then asks who you are and asks if you’re a seraph like her and Sera. The innocent question gets a genuine laugh out of you, and despite it shaking the ground it’s a lovely sound. “OH CHILD, I AM FAR FROM BEING A SERAPH. THOUGH I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULD THINK THAT. YOU WERE ALL MADE IN MY IMAGE AFTER ALL.”

- Seeing the visible confusion on Emily’s face, you elaborated. “LONG AGO, YOUR FATHER WANTED TO SHOW HIS APPRECIATION OF ME. SO FOR HIS FIRST SENTIENT CREATIONS, THE SERAPHIM, HE BASED THEM ALL ON ME.” Emily looks surprised, and follows up by asking how you know God.

- You give another genuine laugh at her question. “SWEETY I’M HIS YOUNGER SISTER, I AM “DEATH”, THE GODDESS OF WELL…DEATH. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME “D” OR “AUNT D”, MOST OF YOUR SIBLINGS DO.” Emily’s mind is blown “Wait! YOU’RE aunt D?! Sera told me all kinds of stories about you before you went to sleep, like the time you got into an argument with Father over his invention of the “Snuggie”. I never thought I’d get to meet you!”

- “IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A BATHROBE YOU WORE BACKWARDS, AND I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE HE THOUGHT THAT WAS AT ALL CLEVER.” You huff, feeling amusement and mild irritation at that memory.

- “SPEAKING OF YOUR FATHER, WHERE IS HE?” Sera speaks up, having managed to recollect herself, and explains that no one has seen or heard a word from God since before you went to sleep.

- The irritated snarl that leaves your throat sounds like thunder and shakes the ground, making everyone tremble with fear. “THAT LAZY BASTARD HAD ONE FUCKING JOB, WATCH HIS DAMN KIDS, AND HE COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT?! NO WONDER THIS ALL HAPPENED THEN, HE LEFT YOU ALL UNSUPERVISED!”

- Bending over, you carefully set Emily down before standing back up. “I HATE TO CUT MY INTRODUCTION SHORT, BUT APPARENTLY I NEED TO GO AND HAVE A LITTLE CHAT WITH YOUR FATHER.” You stare pointedly at Sera and continue. “DON’T THINK THIS MEANS YOU’RE ENTIRELY OFF THE HOOK EITHER. WHILE YES, YOUR FATHER’S ABSENCE IS MOSTLY TO BLAME FOR THIS DEBACLE, YOU ALSO KNOW BETTER THAN TO DO SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS. WE WILL BE DISCUSSING THIS MORE ONCE I FINISH WITH YOUR FATHER, AND IF I COME BACK AND FIND OUT YOU HELD ANY MORE OF THESE “EXTERMINATIONS” I WILL TURN YOU INTO A HOLLOW! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?” Looking at the ground, Sera nods and says “Yes Auntie D…”

- Satisfied with that response, you bid everyone farewell and slowly melt back into the ground, completely disappearing. Once you’re gone, the sunlight is back and it’s as if you were never there.

- Now the seraphim have to soothe the murmuring crowd while Sera starts attempting to get in contact with Lucifer to let him know that “Hey Aunt D found out about the exterminations and is NOT happy about it. She just got done yelling at me, and now she’s on her way to go read Father the riot act. Just warning you now because once she’s done with him, you’re probably gonna be next.”

- Lucifer receives the message and is now frantically trying to create peace offerings in hopes they’ll make you more amicable, while also preemptively planning his own funeral in case the peace offerings don’t work.

- Meanwhile in God’s palace, God is currently relaxing in an elaborate hot tub and watching American football on an absurdly large TV whilst drinking wine like it’s water. He’s pretty drunk and having a grand time yelling at the TV.

- His fun is interrupted through by you literally kicking in the door and storming in, you’ve shrunken down to your smaller size so all your features are actually visible now and not covered in darkness as you glare at your older brother with an intensity that could peel paint.

- God startled momentarily before seeing it’s you and giving you a dopey smile. He’s also in his smaller form, so that makes things slightly easier for you. “Ohhh heeeyyy Death!…You startled me thereee…It’zzzz beeen awhillle, huh?” You scoff at his slurred speech, in disbelief that he could be so drunk right now.

- “Yes, it HAS been awhile. Good to see that you still choose to spend your days getting completely wasted instead of tending to your children.” You answer tersely, and God rolls his eyes. “Zzstill the saaame old ssstuck up bitch…Tha kidzz are fahine Deee! Yyyoou should cohme haave ah drink wib meee.”

- You ignore God’s offer for a drink and cut right to the chase. “No, your kids are NOT fine! When was the last time you checked in on them?! Do you even know what they’re up to right now??!” God dismissively waves his hand and chugs more wine. “I juzzt checked on thhhem ah couple decades aghooo..They’rrre prohably makinnn neeewh liffe.”

- “God that is a load of shit, and you know it! I was JUST down in Heaven, and the seraphim told me that you haven’t seen or spoken to ANY of them since I left to take my nap eons ago! And furthermore, while you’ve been in here drinking the day away, your children have COMPLETELY destroyed the balance we created! They’ve been mass slaughtering Demons annually for millennia now, and Limbo is a complete disaster right now because of this!” Hearing this, God looks down at his bottle of whine, embarrassed, and mumbles an awkward “oh”.

- Silence hangs heavy in the air for a moment before God clears his throat and says. “Zzsooo…You’rrree NNOT gooing to drink wiff me?” At this you snap and snatch the wine bottle from God and chuck it at the TV, smashing the bottle and the TV. God shouts in anger but before he can ask you wtf that was for, you just lay into him. Calling him a deadbeat and pathetic excuse of a deity.

- “How can you just sit in here day after day, while your CHILDREN are out there causing such mayhem! Do you not love your children all??!” God is shouting back at you, his anger having sobered him up some so he’s not slurring as much. “How DARE you accuse me of not loving my children! I would giive ANYTHING for them and you know that!”

- “Then fucking ACT like it!! Don’t just sit in here and rot your mind with booze and TV!” God growls. “I don’t need you to tell meee how to handle my children! Why do you even care?! It’zzz not like they’re yours anyway!”

- “I care because they are part of MY family, and I want my family to be safe and happy, something that you couldn’t give less of a shit about apparently!” God throws his hands up at this point “Well what do you want from me Death, go hhhold their handz?! My children are ALL capable of thinking and being on their own, they don’t NEED me to do shit for them!”

- “That doesn’t mean that they don’t still need you there emotionally! But with the way you act maybe it’s best you ARE never there! After all, what use could any of them get from your pathetic drunk ass!!” This clearly struck a nerve as God points back at the door you came in through and roars at you to get the fuck out of his house. Growling, you give a harsh “Fine!” and tell him he can sit and be a drunk deadbeat all he wants because you’re done with him and his shit, and he’s NEVER to contact you again unless it’s in regards to his children or business.

- You stomp out of God’s palace and return to Limbo, wanting to start working on getting things cleaned up and cool off some before you go check on things in Hell.

- Once you’re gone though, God slumps his shoulders and hangs his head. With your venomous words echoing his head, he summons another bottle of wine and begins chugging it while he trudges into his bedchambers.

- He flops down onto the bed and picks up a framed photo and slowly brings it closer to his face. It’s an old photo, one taken shortly after God created the first few seraphim. You and God are both standing next to each other, arms around each other’s shoulders and leaning in close while the first seraphim all stand in between the two of you. Everyone is absolutely beaming, and God looks especially happy; so proud of his creations.

- Tears drop onto the photo as God remembers how things used to be back then, back when he was actually NEEDED by those around him and wasn’t just some brand figure who’s only job is to smile and wave. Even as he slowly sets the photo down, tears continue to fall and he holds his head in his hands. “…I’m sorry I’m so damn useless…Hopefully you’ll forgive me someday…Not that I deserve it though…I’m…so fucking sorry…” No one is there to hear God’s sobs, and eventually he passes out. He’d rather be dreaming of happier times anyway.

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

[oilith]

Do you have any Lilith headcannonsss

LISTEN, i had this MASSIVE post about all the headcanons in my drafts, but i accidentally posted it and had to delete it 😭😭

But here are a few i have 🥲

She's a chain-smoker, and tries to quit every now and then, always failing miserably

She has a lot of tattoos, mostly her arms

Uses a concealment stone to hide some of her eyebags, freckles, and a scar on her lip along with other "imperfections". As time goes on after they beat Belos, she does it less and less, as she learns to love herself

She's been teaching Amity since she was 4

She's about 270cm

Lilith thought she was a lesbian, but discovered later on that she's actually an aroace lesbian. She had a couple of gfs, one of them she actually stayed friends with (my oc i haven't posted yet lol)

Darius and Lilith are besties. And gym buddies. You can't tell me they don't work out together

She likes sewing and does it regularly

She just. Can't cook. AT ALL. A tale says she burned water once

Definetly a writer

[camels-pen]

warning: eating disorders/food issues

-

"Something wrong with it?"

Usopp startled and snapped his head to the side. His nose jabbed Sanji's eye and they both hissed. Usopp jerked away to rub the tip of his nose.

"Fuck, I forgot about that," Sanji grumbled. There was a contrasting, fond smile on his face as rubbed his eye. "Anyway, the food?"

"What about it?"

"What's wrong with it?"

Usopp turned his gaze back to his plate. Plenty of pork chops piled high- at Luffy's request for a meat-filled dinner- and mashed potatoes with green beans on the side. His mouth salivated again just staring at it.

"Nothing," he said. "Just taking my time."

He could feel Sanji's unimpressed stare. "You've been 'taking your time' through the whole dinner. Everyone's already finished and left. The moss ball even finished the dishes, and we both know how he likes to dawdle."

Despite himself, Usopp giggled quietly. When it was his turn to do dishes, Zoro always took his time, waiting for Sanji to get frustrated with his speed and leave him to finish it alone. It was the perfect strategy to steal booze when Sanji wasn't looking, but it seemed Usopp had unknowingly thwarted his first sake stealing attempt after their reunion.

As if reading his mind, Sanji said, "I let him steal that alcohol, you know. I'm not that stupid." He huffed, voice sounding like he was pouting as he added, "It's the only damn way I can keep an eye on his shitty drinking habits. He'd constantly drink us dry otherwise, that damn mossheaded bastard."

Usopp giggled again and made the mistake of glancing up at him. Sanji was staring across the room at the kitchen, probably the place he'd put all the good booze. He'd confided in Usopp, once, that he had two hiding places for drinking alcohol: one, more obvious place, by the fridge for the cheap stuff, and another, hidden somewhere he wouldn't say, for all the more expensive and high quality stuff. He'd confidently crowed, on more than one occasion, that despite the cheap stuff always going missing, he'd never lost a drop of anything else. He always looked so smug saying that, and well, Usopp now knew why.

But then his eye- the left one now, and despite looking right at it, the change had still caught him off guard more than once- turned to Usopp and Usopp clammed up. Sanji stared at him, his eyebrow- this one curled on the opposite side, closer to his nose bridge than his ear- raised high on his forehead. "If you're well enough to laugh at Zoro, it can't be that bad."

Usopp gulped. Looked away. "I'm not sick," he said quietly. "The food looks great, Sanji, really. Eating is just..." He trailed off. Neither of them spoke for a long moment, only the sounds of their distant crewmates enjoying the sight of their descent to the ocean's floor filling the galley.

Sanji's arm slowly, hesitantly, laid on the back of his chair- Sanji didn't used to hesitate, but, he supposed, things had changed. He settled himself in the chair next to Usopp, rather than continue to lean over him, and said softly, "Eating is just...?"

Usopp stared at the grain on the table, studying the lines and deviations with an intense and sudden fascination.

"Usopp."

"It's hard," he mumbled.

Another silence, this one less expecting and more confused. Awkward.

"You ate fine at breakfast...?" Sanji said, voice lilting up at the end, almost in question.

Usopp snorted. 'Ate fine' was a kinder way of putting it. Usopp had demolished breakfast, nearly rivaling Luffy with how much and how quickly he ate. The usual sense of desperation had dimmed slightly, now that he was with his crew, but it was still there, dictating his eating habits. He would've felt more ashamed if he hadn't seen Luffy, Franky, and Brook eating in the exact same disgusting manner. Instead, he felt right at home.

He had wondered, privately, if something similar had happened to them. Had tossed around the idea of asking them about it. Then he would think back to how they used to eat, before. How it was exactly the same. How they had all basically cried that they'd so dearly missed Sanji's cooking. He couldn't blame them, he nearly sobbed over Sanji's pancakes- and then did sob over his hashbrowns.

"The island got hungry at dawn," he started. Stopped. Stared at the little vase of daisies at the centre of the table that Robin had gathered from her garden- now shared with Usopp. "It would close up. Then open. After, everything was... safe. For a little while."

He gulped again, cringing at his dry throat. He stared at the glass of water, a little wet stain under it. Luffy had bumped his glass earlier when he stole a few chops off of Usopp's pile.

Usopp didn't reach for it.

"You know, I was expecting grand stories of your heroics when you finally talked about where you were." Usopp shrunk in his seat. "No- no, come on I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying to make a joke."

"You should leave the jokes to the experts." Usopp's lip quirked. "Even Brook's better than you."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sanji scowled. "Brook wouldn't know a good joke if it kicked him upside the head."

Usopp giggled again, relaxing. "Admit it, you missed his skull jokes."

Sanji huffed. "...Maybe a little."

In the background, they could hear Zoro talking about taking a swim followed by a familiar thud and Nami yelling at him. They both giggled this time, leaning into each other.

"God, I missed everyone. I missed-" Sanji cut himself off and Usopp turned to look at him. There was a wobble to his lips and his visible eye stared intently at him. Usopp would almost say Sanji looked longing- yearning, even- if he didn't know better.

"I know," he said. "I missed everyone too." Sanji's eyes pinched a little at the corners, but Usopp didn't know why. He didn't linger on it long though, what with Sanji's smile as he pressed his temple to Usopp's for a moment. Usopp's heart would've beat wildly two years ago, but now all he felt was warm and content.

Sanji hummed in agreement and pulled away. Patting his pockets, likely for a cigarette. Usopp pulled the one tucked behind his ear, admiring the feel of soft blond hair a moment too long before handing it to him. Sanji chuckled and accepted it with a quiet thanks.

He lit it and sat back in his chair, relaxing with the first inhale. "Back to the important stuff." Usopp would argue all of that was important stuff. "You only felt safe to eat breakfast?"

Usopp shook his head. Then tilted it side to side. "No- well, sort of. It was never really safe, but..." He rolled the words around his mouth, feeling out the right ones while discarding others. "It was... easier. To eat a lot in the morning. Gather food later in the day. Then sleep when I got hungry closer to sunset."

Sanji blew out a puff of smoke. "You didn't have anyone to watch your back while you were eating?"

"I did." Usopp nodded, a sense of pride filling him as he puffed out his chest. "Heracles'n was a great friend and teacher! We took turns watching out for each other and, well, he's the reason I survived that island in the first place." He flexed one of his biceps. "He also helped me get a whole lot stronger!"

Sanji pursed his lips around his cigarette. "But you didn't eat dinner. Or lunch." Today nor in nearly two years, though Sanji likely meant the latter.

Usopp deflated, arm settling back down in his lap. "We couldn't stop moving until sunset. By then it was better to sleep and eat heap loads in the morning rather than risk dinner and not getting enough rest." He sighed. "Heracles'n was always telling me to eat more berries and fruit throughout the day, but..."

Sanji stared at him. "You had this-island-is-too-scary-so-I-can't-eat-anything-itis?"

Usopp scowled. "I'd like to see you keep up an appetite when you're constantly running and hiding from giant-"

Sanji used his arm to tug Usopp closer, so their sides were pressed together. He pressed his nose to Usopp's hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"What for?" Usopp whispered back.

Sanji didn't answer, his breaths warming Usopp's head. The galley had grown silent when he finally spoke, the others having found quieter activities or retired to their rooms.

"If I was stronger then- or quicker-"

"Sanji," Usopp said. "There's no way you would've been able to beat Kuma, back then."

Sanji shook his head. "I know, but maybe we could've been sent somewhere together."

There was a bittersweet, choking feeling in the back of Usopp's throat. A burning in his eyes. "You wouldn't have liked it there," he said, laying his head on Sanji's shoulder. "You would've hated it, actually."

"But I would've been with you."

Usopp laughed, the sound wet and brittle. "I wouldn't wish that island on anyone, Sanji, but least of all you. I'm not worth-"

A hand cupped his face, cutting him off as he was turned to face Sanji. His nose was bent, pressing against Sanji's cheek. "You worth a lot, Usopp. You're worth it to-" Sanji's cheeks dusted pink all of a sudden and he looked away. "You're worth a lot. And it would've been nice if I could have watched your back. Made sure you were eating well."

At a loss for words, Usopp turned back to the table, staring at his plate. The mashed potatoes were surely cold and hard by now and he was fairly certain a thick pork chop wouldn't stay down.

The green beans, maybe. Those could work.

He picked one up. His stomach rumbled. He lifted it to his mouth.

His hands shook.

He gulped again. Stared at his hand intensely.

Sanji's hand covered his own. A sudden, terrible spike of anxiety overwhelmed him and he held his breath, hoping Sanji wasn't going to just force him to eat it. He hated wasting food after all and it was already in Usopp's hand and Usopp himself just needed to quit cowering and just eat it already-

Sanji pulled his hand away from his mouth. The tension left Usopp in a rush. Shame took up where anxiety had left, but he forced himself to meet Sanji's eye. He knew what came next.

Before Sanji could say anything, Usopp blurted, "There was food. On the island. Not just fruits and berries and whatever game we could hunt. Pre-cooked food, I mean." Sanji's brow furrowed, but Usopp continued on. "There were these plants- and rivers- that had cake and burgers and ramen and- well, you get the idea. And the closer you got to the centre of the island, the more tasty the food got." He gulped. Coughed a little. Sanji reached for his glass, but Usopp grabbed his wrist in a tight hold. If he didn't get it all out now, he never would.

"I didn't meet Heracles'n immediately. I was on my own at first and- and I didn't completely trust him at first either." He laughed, the sound as self-deprecating as it felt. "The centre of the island, that's where its mouth is."

Sanji's eyebrow furrowed further. "So when you said the island 'got hungry'..."

Usopp nodded. "It was a trap to lure in prey." Quietly, he added, "Like me."

Sanji gasped, his eyes darting down, and wow, Usopp really should've re-thought the whole 'show off his new muscles by going shirtless' plan. He pulled away from Sanji, and pulled up the waist of his pants. "Staring at my stretch marks isn't going to change anything, y'know."

Sheepishly, Sanji said, "Sorry- sorry, I should know better." He held out his arms, with a sad little pout. "Come back?"

Usopp held out for a few moments, glaring at him, but he sighed and eventually gave in. "I hate you," he mumbled into Sanji's shoulder. Sanji patted his back in response.

The two of them sat there in silence once more. Usopp savoured the contact between them, like he had always dreamed of on Boin.

"You had to train yourself to avoid delicious looking foods, then," Sanji said quietly. Usopp nodded. "That makes sense. But then, breakfast?"

A new wave of shame, far heavier than the last. He dug his forehead into Sanji's shoulder. "I don't want to talk about it."

He didn't know how to explain how he had become some kind of wild animal during meals and he didn't want to explain. Heracles'n was already one person too many and earlier, the entire crew had seen him. His heart beat hard and fast in his chest at the reminder, a belated rush of fear to make up for his single minded focus at breakfast.

"Then I won't ask," Sanji said. "You should tell Chopper though-"

Usopp grimaced. "Eventually, but..."

Sanji sighed, pressing his cheek to Usopp's hair. "Okay, but can I make you something? Just a snack or tea or...?"

Usopp huffed. "Sanji-"

"I know, I know! But letting you go to bed hungry is..."

"Hard," Usopp finished for him, pulling away. "I know."

He wasn't going anywhere before Sanji fed him, of that he was sure, but it made Usopp's stomach queasy just thinking about all the snacks Sanji used to make before they were separated.

Some of it must have shown on his face too, since Sanji was already holding up his hands and starting to look even more concerned. "It doesn't have to be anything special. I could just peel a tangerine for you or slice up some apples or juice some pears- I mean oranges! Why would anyone juice pears- oh, hm, I should check that sometime; remind me to write it down. Oh and maybe I could steep a really bitter tea, so you don't have to worry about drinking too much because I know you hate bitter things-"

And Usopp couldn't help himself. He laughed.

Sanji deflated, his brow furrowed in confusion, or maybe it was concern. Usopp didn't know, he was too busy laughing at the absurdity of Sanji being so anxious and speaking every rambling thought. It was adorable and Usopp couldn't help but reach up and squish Sanji's cheeks.

"I lo-" Sanji's eye widened and suddenly, Usopp didn't feel brave enough. "Lost my notebook. We'll have to use one of yours."

"O-Oh, yeah, sure." Sanji nodded, voice slightly muffled by his squished cheeks. He stared at Usopp, his eye asking another question.

Usopp looked away, his eyes landing on the fruit bowl on the bar counter. There were apples, bananas, and pears. He pulled his hands away. "...Nami will be mad at you." he said quietly, weakly.

Sanji sighed, a shaky, relieved little thing. He wrapped his arms around Usopp's middle, crushing him to his chest. "I think she'll forgive me," he said.

Boldly, Usopp added, "What if you made coffee?" The only coffee in the pantry was a fancy jar brought along from a Revolutionary base near a village that prided themselves on their harvest.

Sanji chuckled. "Robin would forgive me too."

Usopp hummed. "You seem awfully confident."

"I am," he said, pulling away completely, his chair squeaking against the floorboards as he stood. Sanji held out a hand, a smile on his lips. "If you don't believe me, let me show you."

And right here, Usopp could've chosen to laugh it off. Said something about not wanting to face Nami's wrath, much less Robin's. Fled the galley completely with an excuse or three and sleep in his workshop while ignoring any and all feelings of guilt. It would've been easy.

But he'd already accepted it. Acknowledged the inevitable consequences instead of turning down those anxious suggestions. How could he do anything else, in the face of such genuine care and concern? To leave now would just hurt them both and the last thing Usopp wanted to do was hurt Sanji.

And, well, he trusted Sanji, to do what he couldn't. Planned to trust him with his heart, at some point.

Trusting him with his stomach, in comparison, was as easy as breathing.

So, Usopp placed a steady hand in Sanji's own, a small, teasing smile on his face, and said, "Lead the way."