#medrano needs to hire a showrunner

[crooked-wasteland]

I've now gotten 3 asks about how I would rewrite Hazbin Hotel. So here, here is a rewrite idea.

Adam is Second in Command

Adam being both the head of the exorcists as well as Sera being a terrible overseer and uninterested in what Adam is doing makes no sense. Even with the argument being that she's concerned about Hell rising up, it doesn't explain why she wouldn't take more control of the exorcists. She basically allows them to govern themselves and relies heavily on Adam of all people. In Season 2 they are trying to make her morally grey with how she comes to regret the exterminations after Pentious is proven capable of redemption, but it is undercut by how she treated Sinners as subhuman.

If they are in heaven, they deserve to be a person and if they go to Hell they don't. But it solidifies this idea that people need to prove they are worthy of respect, love, and life. Which is the fundamental core of White Supremacist ideology. Most racists have exceptions to their dogma, because those individuals "proved themselves" in some way or manner that they are deserving of respect. Usually by being useful or successful.

This framing is not removed just because Sera is black coded. Racist ideology is racist ideology regardless of what color it comes in. And even if you love the show, it is paramount to understand that the people behind the series are going to have their own beliefs and agendas that are still going to be filtered through Medrano's beliefs. And even if this is the result of a hired writer or not, it didn't touch Medrano that this sort of thinking is the definition of implicit racism.

As such, adding distance between Sera and Adam would have made it less scathing on her and show more of the bureaucratic "red tape" that I think was supposed to be somewhere in Heaven. Based on the first and sixth episodes, I feel like that was what they were trying to get across with Peter's panic over Charlie "not on the list" as well as her signing a contract just to meet with Adam. But it is so glossed over it may as well not be there at all.

And while I definitely do criticize Medrano when adding more characters to a cast, it usually comes from the fact that the additions do nothing to balance the cast and the story. Often adding new plot threads rather than integrating into existing ones. But here it is necessary. Add another Angel to be in charge of exterminators and Adam, who also reports back to Sera. Someone who is not objectively bloodthirsty, they are just doing their job (The Banality of Evil is a great reference). Meanwhile Sera is the one actually in control, but doesn't actually want to get too involved with the details because she finds the human impact of her decisions too upsetting.

I wouldn't have had this happen in the first episode either. Instead have it be episode 4 or 5 and keep everything in Hell, just have the interaction occur through the embassy.

She takes in numbers and facts without wanting to really know anything. So when Charlie goes to meet with Heaven, it should be Adam and his boss. Adam being insufferable and contrarian while his boss is apathetic and diplomatic would have made a better dynamic than having Adam and Adam2.0 (Lute). Having differences in personalities allows for more range of interactions.

Or, if you want to be more radical and clean up some of the fluff to the story, recycle a character into this role. Emily being Adam's superior actually sets a strong foundation for why they would even entertain and compromise.

And that isn't to say get rid of Lute. In fact, making her the second in command to the second in command is a perfect representation of Pick-Me Post-Feminism.

Rework the Timeline and Primary Threat

The 6 month timeline was a bad idea. It's clear they thought they had enough content to have an extermination at the end of the season, but no idea how to adapt to episode constraints. It makes no sense why the timeline is condensed to 6 months when we don't even see things happening in the show. Changes are practically instantaneous after a song and such songs are not a genuine show or reflection of the characters' wants and needs. It's a moment that "seems good for a song".

It also never confirms why they are reducing the time.

I actually like the Conan idea Anon supplied. Where the reveal of the dead Angel is what causes the growing tension. I would probably have cut the first 3 episodes to focus on one character each, similar to Creature Commandos did towards the end of the series.

For some reference, the show starts with the characters playing off each other and building their dynamics before going into their back stories. And the last 4 episodes, while balancing the current stories of the entire cast, tackle each monster's backstory one by one. They start with a sense of familiarity, so it makes sense to hold off on explaining their pasts until the story starts building tension. Interspersing it with the rising action towards the climax allows the audience to attach themselves to the characters in a complex manner. They aren't made one note for some tragic backstory to them excuse all the lives they take later on. You see them grapple with and indulge in their darkest self while also seeing where their humanity has been buried at the same time. You delight in their gratuitous violence and the carnage they leave while also wishing them happiness. Extremely contradictory emotions being balanced simultaneously is how you can quickly endear an audience to a group of sympathetic assholes. And James Gunn is one of the best writers for that trope.

So for the first few episodes I would focus on the characters' relationships with each other. Angel Dust not really participating, Vaggie being defensive of Charlie while also seeing Angel Dust as a lost cause, and Charlie desperately trying to instill change but not understanding Angel or Vaggie well enough because she is essentially a Hellborne Half-angel. Having her struggling to connect to sinners would have been an excellent source of narrative conflict early on.

It works with the B plot of episode 1 and connects better to the Pilot. Additionally, it builds a foundation for Lilith's motivations. Apparently in season 2 it is revealed she raised an army before vanishing, so focusing on Sinners rejecting Charlie during this time makes the most sense. It even allows some fanatics to accuse Charlie of being a traitor to even her own Mother. There is also an opportunity to bait at the idea of Charlie not being Lilith's daughter, but actually Eve's.

Keeping with the angel being killed in the extermination, have a rising tension be that exterminators have supposedly been spotted in the Pride Ring. Maybe they are searching for the missing angel and that is causing rising uncertainty and thus paranoia and desperation. It also can act as motivation for Sinners to go to Charlie. And Charlie sees this "threat of punishment" moving people to believe in her. What it means to rule through fear and how desperation creates Christ figures.

The exterminators find the dead Angel and are planning a preemptive mass scale invasion. No longer are they just thinking numbers, this is now war. And have the meeting between Heaven and Charlie be based on that. Heaven is meeting with Lucifer to basically say all bets are off and, if he wants to keep his family safe, they need to leave the Pride Ring before a specific time.

It shows that international hostilities are never so complete that the wealthy and powerful still look after each other. Even when they are supposedly enemies. It shows the nuance and complexities of class solidarity and diplomacy. It gives the foundations of how power becomes corrupt and how community and recognition supercedes even ideology.

And this is where Charlie meets with Adam and his commander and she has to make a deal. She can't call off another extermination, it is happening whether she likes it or not. But what if the only safe place is the Hotel? She explains her little rehab center and how she is trying to find a better way to reduce tension between Hell and Heaven by redeeming her people. Adam is opposed emotionally, talking about how undeserving they are and how their punishment has already been given, only to be silenced by his diplomatic superior.

The issue then is how many people would be sincere in their redemption if it was known that running to the hotel would make them safe? Every room would be packed to bursting as every sinner ran to save themselves and immediately abandon Charlie and her project once it was no longer convenient to them. Especially because they don't know how their exterminator was killed.

If Charlie wishes to spare her pet project, she needs to give them a good reason not to just go to war. Things will go back to normal, yearly exterminations included, but the deal with Lucifer would be amended to include Charlie's hotel as being safe only if she can find the murderer and bring them before Heaven for their final judgement.

Connect this storyline to the Vs. Carmella works under Vox but keeps her angelic weapon to herself because it's the only thing that can kill a Sinner. Maybe she is planning to kill the Vs herself because they keep control of her through her daughters. Maybe Valentino had them abducted to empower Vox over Carmella and take her territory. They are Val's victims in human trafficking and political plays, but during the extermination, Carmella took advantage of the situation and stole them back. Knowing that it would be assumed the people in charge of watching over her girls were killed by the angels and no one would necessarily look for her girls for the same reason.

Only for them to be attacked by an exorcist while fleeing and Carmella was forced to kill the angel to save them all. And because of that, she's trying to lay low and stay quiet during this whole situation to not raise suspicion that she has her daughters, or that it was her who killed the angel. Meanwhile Charlie is hunting her down to try and save her hotel. And this way Angel Dust's narrative with Valentino directly folds into the conflict where he can be a tool for Charlie and the narrative to get information on Carmella and solve the case.

There are multiple opportunities one could take with these ideas and not all of them are necessary to greenlight. If you don't want to suggest Eve could be Charlie's real mother, you don't have to. But if you enjoy playing with your audience and have an idea of how the reveal one way or the other would go, it's an opportunity. And the fact remains that you sometimes have to cut ideas.

But those are just some ideas and why and how I would have implemented them if I were to rewrite Hazbin Hotel.

[chaifootsteps]

There's so many issues with Medrano's writing that it's a genuine shame she didn't hire a showrunner. It's clear her extent of creative writing amounts to the age of Fanfiction.net and the webcomic era of deviantart.

When structuring for serialized narratives, I always recommend keeping a story confined to a primary character and building out from there. In the case of Helluva Boss, Blitzø is the main character and so everything in the main series needs to relate to him in some manner. An example of that almost being done is Striker from season 1.

When being introduced, Striker is focused on combating the Nobility of hell due to the class divide. That internal motivation of Striker's reflects Blitzø's powerless position to Stolas in the deal. It is a direct character parallel to the story.

Not all stories need to be structured this way, but it keeps the plot focused and writing tight. They almost got there.

They really did, they almost had it. They did have it, only to lose it in a great big ugly blaze.

It's like watching someone attempt mountain biking, find their footing, start pulling off these really impressive tricks and flips, and then veer hard on the handles and plunge themselves right over a cliff.