#i don't feel bad for setting some boundaries he's a very respectful guy

[dtaegis]

I MEAN. i LIKE sex. i like writing about it, having flirty characters, make sex jokes, hell sometimes i go to sleep thinking about leon and mari fucking

but the time it's a REAL person expressing sexual desire FOR ME is what makes it scary and uncomfortable

[hyperfixationgoddess]

Inspired by the fanfiction link above; kind of an aftermath scenario. I love the idea of Wayne being extra protective of Steve after Steve saved Eddie's life, and getting even more protective of him after he and Eddie start dating. What can I say, I'm a Wayne Munson simp. Also, while I might not have a lot of respect for him anymore, see if you can find the John Mulaney quote I slipped in here! @artiststarme I hope you like it!

Finally Protected

Wayne Munson was a lot of things. A salty grump, a loner, an uncle, a father.

But most of all, he was loyal.

Once someone earned his loyalty, it lasted for life. He would stick with them through thick and thin, and defend them against anyone. And against all odds, Steve Harrington had earned his loyalty.

Anyone with eyes could see that Steve was head over heels in love with Wayne's boy. Which was why he could not comprehend why it was Steve who was on the receiving end of all these goddamn shovel talks.

Found family, my ass, he thought to himself. Even that Buckley girl had given Steve a talk. Were they all stupid? They'd known Steve, really known him, for much longer than Wayne or Eddie had. How could they still think that Steve would hurt anyone, much less Eddie?

The worst thing about it was, Wayne knew that Steve would forgive them. It didn't matter how many times the Party hurt him, Steve would just shrug it off, like his feelings didn't matter. And considering Steve had already earned the loyalty of the Munsons, Wayne had a problem with that.

A big problem.

The day after Eddie apologized and the two boys made up, Wayne dropped by to talk to Steve. Even as he settled on the couch in the living room, he could see the tension in Steve's shoulders.

"You can relax, kiddo," he said. "I'm not mad at ya. Not here to give you another goddamn shovel talk, either."

Steve's eyebrows rose. "Really?"

Wayne nodded. "Eddie's an adult now, and he knows how to take care of himself. No, I'm here to talk about the rest of the Party."

Steve looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Wayne sighed. "Boy, you need to set some boundaries with these people."

"Boundaries?"

"Steve, I know this ain't the first time these folks have hurt you. Lord knows Eddie has gone on many rants about how the kids keep calling you an idiot, or how the Wheeler girl cheated on you after 'she ripped your heart out of your chest and stomped on it.' Eddie's words, by the way."

Steve looked uncomfortable, now. "Well, the kids are just messing around. And I shouldn't have tried to hold on to Nancy the way I did."

"The kids are old enough now to learn how to mess around without being disrespectful. And Nancy should have been honest with you instead of leading you on," Wayne countered.

Steve still looked apprehensive. Wayne sighed (again-he'd been doing that a lot lately).

"Look, Steve, I'm not saying you have to cut them out of your life. I know that'd be devastating for ya. But just letting them hurt you, and not saying a word about it... You deserve better than that."

Steve's eyes misted over. "No, I don't," he choked out. When Wayne opened his mouth to protest, the kid shook his head rapidly. "You don't understand, Mr. Munson, I was a really bad person in high school. The things I said about people... I'd tear them down without a second thought. I-"

Sensing that Steve was about to go on a self deprecating tangent, Wayne cut him off.

"Did you know that Eddie used to rant about you?"

This seemed to startle the kid. "Um... What?"

Wayne chuckled. "Yeah, I won't go into details, but he was very vocal about how much you bugged him... But then, out of nowhere, in 1984, he stopped. I asked him why, because I was curious. Do you know what he said?"

Steve gulped. "What?"

"He said, and I quote, 'he hasn't actually been an asshole in a while, and now that everyone else is trying to kick him down, I don't want to contribute to that.' You made a change, Steve. Not many people are willing to do that. Hell, most ain't even willing to believe that there's something wrong with em. But you were. I'll keep telling you, as many times as I have to for it to sink in. You don't deserve to be hurt."

The tears Steve had been holding back this whole time finally seemed to overwhelm him. Wayne scooched over to him and wrapped him in a hug.

"You've had to be strong for so long, kid. Let me look after you, yeah? Lord knows you deserve protection just as much as Eddie does."

Steve didn't answer, but he nodded. That was enough for now.

--0--

Wayne had been pacing around Steve's living room for about ten minutes when he finally heard the doorbell ring. It would appear that this group traveled as a pack, because every single member of the party was there.

That is, every member but two.

"Mr. Munson?" Dustin asked confusedly. "What's going on? Where's Steve?"

Wayne grunted. "All of ya just come in. I'll explain once you get settled. And I'm sayin this now, I expect you all to listen."

When everyone was sitting around the living room, Hopper was the first to speak up. "So Wayne, what's going on? Where's the kid?"

Wayne scowled. "If you mean Steve, he's at my trailer with Eddie. If that were big enough, we'd be there instead, but there's too many of you, and I need you all to hear this."

The Buckley girl looked extremely confused. "Why would you want us here if Steve isn't?"

Wayne took a deep breath in an attempt to control his anger. "Because it would seem to me that you lot forget just how much that boy does for all of you."

Joyce furrowed her brow. "Um... What?"

"You folks got a lot of nerve, acting like Steve is the one who's gonna hurt Eddie. He ain't a ticking time bomb, and you gotta stop treating him like it. After everything he's done for you lot, it astounds me how you can still treat him like crap. Found family, my ass."

Nancy Wheeler opened her mouth with an angry expression, but Wayne cut her off. "Don't go acting so high and mighty, Wheeler. Did you even realize that Steve still flinches when anyone uses the word bullshit? You tore his heart out of his chest and stomped on it, and then slept with another guy before you even broke up with Steve properly."

That seemed to shut her up. Good.

"And as for you kids, how many times has Steve taken a beating for you? The only ones that I've seen being respectful to him are Will and El. The rest of you... You've all been the victims of bullies, according to Steve. So explain to me, how in the hell can you justify the way you all treat him on a daily basis? Insulting his intelligence, bossing him around, disregarding the work he's done to change, all of that has to stop."

The kids tried to protest, but Wayne was on a roll. He rounded on Joyce, Hopper, and Robin. "Hopper, Joyce, Eddie is my kid. He ain't your responsibility. You had no right to give Steve that goddamn shovel talk as if he were still the guy he was in high school. And you, Miss Buckley? You call yourself Steve's best friend. You might wanna try acting like it.

"Now, I know that Steve sees you all as family. That's the only reason I ain't told him to cut you folks out of his life. But Steve has got no standard for how he should be treated as a human being. Whether you lot realize it or not, you've all taken advantage of that. He thinks that he deserves it, but I've seen the effort he makes every day to be better than he was. Most won't even accept that they need to be better, and it would seem that you folks are a part of that majority. I know that he deserves better, and I ain't even known him a whole year. That says something about you, don't it?

"Now, you are going to give Steve as much space as he needs. You won't ask him to babysit, you won't ask him to chauffeur you around, you won't ask him for money. You'll take some time to think about how you've treated him. And when you feel you're ready to apologize-not because of guilt or obligation, but because you mean it-you tell me. I'll let Steve know. But only when Steve is ready to see you all again, and not a second more, will I let you talk to him."

Wayne shared a vicious smile with El and Will, and then looked at the rest of them with a raised eyebrow.

"Now get the hell out of my future son-in-law's house."

Fin

[candysweetposts]

Episode 8 review (long af)

I want to start this by saying that I will include some talk-points I saw in other posts and that I don't hate the people who made them just the opinions and that we shouldn't fight each other but try to reach the company for improvements. Let's go! This includes spoilers btw.

The episode itself was pretty bad just because the premise was... I guess childish. From the moment I finished Ep 7 and saw the preview for Ep 8 I thought about a moment from HSL, specifically Ep 12 where Candy (Lynn) spies on Lysander to see his back tattoo. When I played that episode I was a teen and I thought it was exciting. Our Candy was also a teen so we can say that what she did was more justifiable since teenagers do crazy stuff all the time. Plus, Lynn's intention was pretty innocent, she just was curious about this boy's tattoo that happened to be on his back. Here is completely different. I am not a teen anymore, and neither are Ysaline or her co-workers. They're probably in their late 20s (at least some). I find this scenario a bit too much for a bunch of adults. I don't care that they're friends, friends should respect each other's boundaries. A good friend wouldn't pull this kind of shit. They all acted as if they were going so see a magic trick or a concert or a famous person, not their friend naked. Why would you want to see that? Just because he "implied" that he's fine with it? What did they expect would happen? Did they though he would laugh out and be like "Haha, you got me" fully naked? This feels like what a bunch of bullies would plan to do with someone. The rest of the episode was ok-ish but having all around this weird stuff it makes me hard to like anything about it. I must admit that there were moments when we would talk about other stuff and it was truly ok and nice, but this is like finding the needle in the haystack.

This goes back to what BV originally planned for this season, to be set in high school. I bet this was a concept for an episode when that was still going. Would be more ok if these people were teens? Maybe... or maybe not. Do you know why? Because most of us are adults and that's why BV made a game with mostly adults having adult life with jobs and stuff and let's not forget... NSFW. And as an adult, I know better than spying on a naked man is creepy and illegal.

Now let's talk about the characters.

Let's start with Roy. He was very nice in the whole episode. He tried to play along but it really looked like he was uncomfortable at some point. And I bet if he could, he would tell others more firmly to stop but he's just such a sweet guy and probably endures for the sake of his friends. He's always sweet and even when he pulled the prank on everyone he even had the idea for all to play with water guns. He acted so nice. We love you, Roy! <3

Speaking of his BFF Devon who just disappointed me. I really thought he would be the first to speak up against this, not the one who started it. I get you're like bros and stuff but AGAIN, do you want to see your bro naked? And if yes, why? Do you have something to confess? What's so funny about embarrassing someone? I didn't get a good look at this route so I can't tell how he is with Candy, but this is not ok. Please, make this better BV.

Thomas. He was an absolute menace. Going from childish remarks to planning all of this to acting like he's in a spy movie (I didn't mind that part but CONTEXT). As I get to know him more and more I realize that he's more of a villain. Knows stuff about people and uses that against them. I get that he's like Mr Robot, but at least in his case, he did what he did because he thought he was doing something good. Thomas just likes to fuck with people. I get it, his moment was pretty cute and moments with him and Candy are cute generally, but let's not sweep this thing under the rug. He likes to lie, remember? I really hope this was a one-time thing. Pls BV. Like he has based moments and this runs it.

Amanda did really grow on me in this episode. Like if before I couldn't stand her now I'm on her side. Whatever you need girl, I'm here for you. She was the first one to step in and say no which was nice. She also said some other nice stuff to us proving she's a girl's girl. I hope this is not a one-time thing because if she goes back to her bad attitude the next episode I'll just hate her again. Sorry!

Jason was very himself this episode. Nothing to note. I liked his moment but I hate how Candy went overboard and basically imagined them making out. What? Is this how you develop feelings for a person? By fantasizing about kissing them? That came out of nowhere. I mean yeah, she could talk about how he makes her feel and stuff but straight up imagining a fanfic on the spot? And I hate the direction his route goes. Candy always being in distress and vulnerable, and this gentleman shows up to save her. Cool, but when do we have a mature moment... and not that kind of mature. I guess we have to wait and I hope it's worth it. I want to know about him more. What's with his dad and mom, his family in general, his past, you know. So let's stop doing weird shit and start exploring these characters BV.

Girl 1 and 2 were very not nice. They just went along with the plan, especially Elenda, who... let's just say I don't like how she's presented most of the time. I get she's s fun bubbly girl, but idk... it's just the situation that makes it worse not her as a person. Brune... You're asking what's wrong with Roy? What's wrong with you?

The illustrations were fire. I must admit, I love them. I see a lot of improvements. The lighting and colors blend very well. Props to the artist/(s?). My favorite is, you guessed, Thomas'. Yeah, he always has nice illustrations. Although, I don't get the whole going naked with him on the beach. Like, we barely know the guy. Same for the others, except Amanda, because she's a girl.

Now, let's talk about the community response. I feel like, at first, everyone was pretty upset, and rightfully and some were just "We're not that upset because it's just a game guys, shut up. You're just hating". Well, of course, some are going to exaggerate but most of us have valid reasons to be upset. Saying that this is just a game and we should leave if we don't like it it's just straight up BS arguments. I've seen this argument everywhere and I am sick and tired of that. I won't leave no matter what because not only do I love this game, but I also love the community and everything that makes it. It's not just a game, it's something I invested time and money and I won't let that go to waste. Also, I can use the same arguments against those people. Most of us here want to just enjoy this game and chat about it. Stuff like this will appear all the time. Let's just say what we have to see and hope the game gets better. And you're lucky I don't remember every single one of these people's arguments because I would said more. Also, WE KNOW that MCL is not representative of reality or that is has some sort of educational purpose. We're not asking for realism, we're asking for a decent plot. It's that so hard to do?

Lastly, BV made a pr response on the forum where they said that they saw the backlash and that they can't do anything about the episode or the other episodes but that will improve in the future. I.. I want to believe them. Truly. So, please, for the love of God, don't pull this sort of stuff again. Ok? Please.

That being said, Thank you for reading this. It was quite long, but I like writing long ass texts. Sorry!

[narabea06]

Hello friend! @killerlittlerejects here. For the sake of my little thirteen year old self, I request some headcanons about how Jeff. Specifically how he would feel about a reader that has burns like himself. Like their insecure about it, and he can kinda sympathize, because even if he puts on this confident facade, he’ll get self conscious about his own looks every now and then. So in his own little ways he tries to get them to be more confident in their appearance.

Okay, so I don't do romantic x readers, but I will do platonic x readers!! Sooooooooo

Starting a new series called-

Being Friends With Creepypastas!

Or in this specific request-

Being Friends With Jeff the Killer! [with GN! Reader with Burn Scars]

TW: Implied suicide attempt, burn scars/injuries

When Jeff first met you, he was so excited to see someone else with the same scars as him, and just immediately points at you and shouts "SAME SCARS!!!" It was a bit embarrassing the first time and was pretty jarring, but Jeff was just excited and is bad at social cues.

Jeff sees his burns as somewhat like battle scars despite them being self inflicted (hc), and immediately assumed you saw yours as that too, and always tries asking you how you got the scars, and constantly tries asking for your story. Jeff is pretty hesitant to tell the story of how he got his scars, but still loves hearing the reader's story, and tries to hype them up the entire time.

Whenever you get insecure about you scars, Jeff constantly will tell you that your scars are cool as fuck and will hype you up, and even get you to say affirmations about themselves. He's very aggressively supportive, and will sometimes even get you to shout from rooftops that your scars are great if he needs to.

Jeff immediately befriends you when he sees the scars, and will get incredibly protective if anybody tries to insult your scars, and takes any insult towards you as an insult towards him and can AND WILL tackle somebody if they look at you wrong. ("They asked for no pickles!" vibes too) You or Liu often need to drag him away from trying to fight someone he cannot take on because he does not know when to keep his mouth shut.

Jeff can get pretty platonically physically clingy, whether it's linking arms with you, ruffling your hair, using your head as an armrest- He's very physically affectionate, though if you tell him that it makes you uncomfortable because you don't like being touched or you don't want people touching the scars, while it might take him a bit to get used to, he will respect your boundaries.

Jeff is deep down very insecure of his scars, though he hates talking about it, and will not admit it, no matter what happens. It would probably take him years of knowing and trusting you to get him to even admit that he wishes he didn't have them. He sometimes even will project and try to fight your insecurities rather than battle his own because his own pride makes him unable to come to terms with his trauma. He doesn't even agree to telling you HOW he got his scars until a couple years into the friendship.

After you two become friends, everyone else you guys stay with constantly joke that you can make better friends than Jeff. You very much know you can do better, but still stay with Jeff regardless.

Liu gets a bit protective of you as Jeff does, and even treats you almost as a second sibling after a bit because of how often Jeff and you are around each other. He will snap at someone if they mention your scars, he'll give you advice on how to handle Jeff's antics, he warns you about Jeff's triggers, he hangs out with you when Jeff is busy, he corrects Jeff when he's being a dumbass- He's just happy seeing Jeff get along with somebody and seeing someone not trying to kill his brother.

Jeff is terrible at body language and social cues, so if you try to set up a boundary or if you're uncomfortable with something he says or does, you NEED to spell it out for him, because he will not take the hint.

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 3 ("BINGBONG! MUST BE THAT WIRETAP THAT I ORDERED") EDITION

Before I get started on my episode review, I just want to gather some quick thoughts about my observations of yesterday's internet:

1) Tumblr was a lot more subdued than after the first two episodes of Only Friends. Now that I've seen episode 3, it makes a lot of sense: I've noticed that I've gotten myself prepared unconsciously before watching OF much later after everyone else through the streaming vibes on my dash. I even saw some Laws of Attraction gifs before the Only Friends gifs, ha! But there's a lot going on to dig into with OF, and it makes sense why feelings are starting to get complicated over what's happening.

2) The Ephemerality Squad ( @ranchthoughts, @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan, @slayerkitty, @twig-tea, and honorary shout-out @neuroticbookworm) hit spot-on in analysis yesterday. This was definitely another episode about the fleetingness of just about everything. Let's do this.

@ranchthoughts in their ephemerality analysis yesterday hit on the two big themes of episode 3: the continued fleeting of time, and stronger attempts of control. (@slayerkitty also nailed some excellent observations about voyeurism, which I'll hopefully have time to get into in a bit.) We were left to see how Top, Sand, and Nick, respectively, dealt with the attempts of Mew, Ray, and Boston, the three college friends, to control their environments -- and their people -- around them, all to varying degrees of.... I don't think we can say success.

I wonder if I can try to map this out, this web of attempted control. But before I do this, I want to repeat something that I jotted down in my notes as I watched the episode:

These guys are spending a disproportional amount of time -- especially Boston, Sand, and Ray -- explaining that their dalliances are only fleeting and non-committal. I noted that Sand seemed to be weakening just slightly at that during the car make-out sesh with Ray. (At the same time, I think Sand was also like, this guy's available rn? Well -- awlright, whateves, shrugs, I'm in the mood.)

But more surprisingly, WOW -- is Boston EVER BAD at setting boundaries. (Considering the discussions we on Tumblr were having about Boston's shower scene last week, that is very not surprising.)

My dude. My DUDE. "YOU CAN CALL OUR RELATIONSHIP WHATEVER YOU LIKE?" You call THAT being clear about friends with benefits? Well done, dumbass. Bro, Khai from Theory of Love is waving his damn hands in front of you, being all like, "NAAWWWW, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO THIS, DUDE, NOOOOOOOOOO."

And THEN Nick taps the car, but hold up, let me get back to THAT in a sec.

Anyway: @ranchthoughts did an excellent control outline here, but I'm just going to do a very quick interpersonal web to demonstrate how these guys are actually failing spectacularly at keeping things together for their own selfishness sake:

Boston -->

1) is trying to manage his "relationship" with Nick, quite failingly 2) is trying to convince Top to sleep with him by planting in Top's mind doubts about Mew and Mew's alleged virginity

Mew -->

3) is... doing what, at this point? Top is calling Mew his boyfriend. Why is Mew still holding out on sex? What's the point of the game at this point?

Ray -->

4) is clearly intrigued by Sand, to the point of hanging out at the bar alone, and inviting Sand to perform at the pool party. But, Ray: 5) is still clearly drawn to Mew. Back to Mew:

Mew -->

6) is still very aware that he has a draw on Ray (cc @neuroticbookworm). As @neuroticbookworm noted to me last night: Mew didn't call Cheum or Boston when he lost his key. He called Top first -- of course, he had to, Top is his boyfriend. And THEN, he called Ray. Mew knew Ray was checking out Sand all night. Mew called Ray out on it. MEW ENCOURAGED RAY TO GO FOR IT. And yet, Mew called Ray, knowing likely that he was going to be interrupting something. And in a Pavlovian reaction (credit @neuroticbookworm), Ray stops everything with Sand in the car to run to Mew.

Top -->

7) is trying to control his urges around Boston, and fails quite spectacularly

Sand -->

8) tries to give Ray the ol' "just friends" razzle-dazzle, but listen, when the boi be cute like that and all kissy-kissy, then, Sand, I'm not holding it against you, you had every right to dive on in, my man. And finally:

Nick -->

9) Nick is outta control, ha. I see some corners of sympathy for Nick around this way and that, but a few words here on this.

Boston is a terrifically BAD communicator. I want to say that Boston has had a consistent message for Nick: there's nothing going on here. But that's not quite the case. Boston's ALLLLL over the place with the way he's talking to Nick.

I've been in situations where I desperately wanted a man that I was sleeping with to be my boyfriend. I know the ache of being held at arm's length. It's a horrible feeling to not quite know what your FWB is thinking about you at any given moment.

On the flip side -- oh, that flip side. This kind of reminds me of how I thought about Third in Theory of Love. Boston's inconsistent communication with Nick should, arguably, be a red flag for Nick. If Nick wants, say, a relationship with Boston, welp -- do you really want a relationship with a guy who's holding you at arm's length? I might argue that Boston's inconsistent communication is CLEAR communication that he's not ready for whatever Nick is wanting from him, whether it's a relationship or even an exclusive FWB arrangement.

Again, I know and remember the feeling of being held back, of being pushed away. But as I grew up throughout my 20s (A LONG TIME AGO, DAMN IT), I figured out that the way I could find happiness was by being accountable to myself and any future partner I might have. If a guy was wasting my time, then -- he was wasting my time, and there was no other story to it. I had to learn to move on to find what I really wanted and needed for the betterment of my life.

My man, Nick, on the other hand, taps Boston's car and hears and sees the bang-bang. Boston's up to no good, no doubt, he is messing with EVERYONE. But, Nick -- what do you want from this? Where do you think this is going to go? If I were you -- damn, brother, if I were YOUR MOM -- I'd be like, sashay away. But, no, you tapped his car, and we'll find out what's really going on with that, hopefully, in the next episodes.

Last little bits. Some blue-balling in this episode. Oof. Arguably, Mew's been putting the squeeze on Top over the long haul. But to see Ray do that to Sand in the car -- eeeeyikes. Sand walked away from that with clarity -- I was impressed.

I am not getting enough Jennie Panhan in this show. First off -- FIRST OFF -- she is SLAMMIN'. Did you see those biceps? And her calm demeanor as Yo. As opposed to Cheum, who knows that Ray can get whatever he needs, fiscally, from his father -- Yo encourages Ray to get off his ass and seek out answers to his questions and feelings about Sand himself. (@twig-tea attributes this to Yo knowing that one can't control everything in one's life, an analysis that I love.) Yo encourages a touch of independence from her friends. I wonder if this is a theme from her that will continue to unwind moving forward.

We finally saw Title! And I would like to see more Tee Teeradej, pretty pwease.

Finally, rolling back to @slayerkitty's thoughts on voyeurism: @slayerkitty posited that each episode had a different modality of voyeurism and passive participation in engagement with others, an analysis that I love. (I think that absolutely speaks to the sense of aloofness and disconnect that I continue to get out of Ray and Boston in particular.) @lurkingshan also noted that a lot of the flirtation and sex in the first three episodes have involved cameras, photography, audiences, and so on.

Voyeurism: you're watching something, but you're not necessarily participating IN IT. Your engagement with an event is at arm's length.

I want to think that this, in part, is a continued commentary on the shipped couples acting in this show, and how we're SEEING them continue to break down. We might see a kiss between Khaotung and Book next week. We've seen Neo and Force together now, acting out intimacy. There's something happening between the characters of Sand and Top that will have First and Force interacting. The passive act of expecting the shipped couples to continue to ship -- is that not voyeurism on demand on behalf of the fandom?

I don't want to be passive about this: I actively continue to cheer for the ships to sink. This episode was GREAT, it held a lot, it was complicated and very open-ended, and there's a lot that needs to be explained next week.

(Speaking of next week: I will likely not have OF meta, as I'll be moving. If I do have meta, it'll maybe be stream of consciousness from the depths of my disorganized despair. But I'll be back in action after America's Labor Day -- SUPPORT UNIONS!)

[undeadgayboynes]

Jeffrey Combs characters datability tier list

With explanations; A to D, left to right

-Anton Mordrid

Pros: Literally the perfect man. Intelligent, honest, respects you, owns a bird. Communicative.

Cons: A landlord

-The guy from Cyclone (I don't care)

Pros: Very smart, respects your intelligence, will participate in your hobbies even if they don't align with his interests. Charismatic and flirty

Cons: Might die and leave you with the task of protecting a super weapon from the shadow government

-Crawford Tillingast

Pros: Earnest, hardworking, very sweet, intelligent. Will probably remember your birthday. Wears oversized sweaters you can steal

Cons: A pushover, really bad luck, probably not fully emotionally ready for a relationship

-Chaz

Pros: A dork and seemingly a wimp, but will actually surprisingly brave when necessary. Well dressed. Objectively very cute

Cons: Is named Chaz. Complains a good bit, kinda snippy. Infectious anxiety

-Andrew Paris

Pros: Fine as fuck yet highkey a dork, will tell you interesting facts about things. Does his best to be a gentleman

Cons: Kind of incompetent, impulsive. Won't set up boundaries with people trying to hit on him. Seems experienced, but I don't think he's ever touched a boob.

-Dr. Haggis

Pros: Strong morals and will do what he can to uphold them, able to keep a level head in difficult situations. Takes care of those around him. Respects you and takes what you say into serious consideration.

Cons: Lack of confidence, won't say what he means. Alcoholic and smoker with no sign of wanting to change, used as coping mechanism. Pessimistic

-John Riley

Pros: Puts on a brave face, optimistic, hard worker. Loves his family very deeply. Genuinely trying to fix his issues. Will make the right decision when push comes to shove.

Cons: Alcoholic in a way that endangers those around him. Wants conflict to resolve on its own, uncommunicative, will lie to you. When he slips, he slips hard. Has potential to be unfaithful

-Dinosaur Bob

Pros: Fun and carefree, will take you on the ride of your life. Cool mustache. Sees you as an equal

Cons: A bit TOO carefree, irresponsible and impulsive. Does a LOT of drugs and will probably try to get you to do them. Sociopathic and violent tendencies. No morals.

-Francisco

Pros: Confident. Will accept when he is genuinely wrong. Impartial party, focused on facts.

Cons: Literally no opinions of his own, will let awful things happen because an authority says it's fine. That haircut and those glasses. Extremely desensitized to violence. "Facts over feelings" motherfucker

-Shepard Lambrick

Pros: Sugar daddy, will buy you a lot of nice things and you'll definitely get in the will. Cool mustache. Doesn't let people disrespect you.

Cons: Sociopathic and violent tendencies, enjoys other's suffering. Manipulative. One percenter and proud of it. Pushes boundaries.

-Herbert West

Pros: Intelligent, passionate. Will give you gifts. Includes you in his hobbies. Does the 🥺 face

Cons: Will not listen to you nor respect your boundaries. Grand gestures instead of communication, love-bombing. Extremely jealous. Manipulative. Sociopathic and violent tendencies. Condescending, thinks he's better than everyone else, no respect for anything or anyone. Impulsive. Does the 🥺 face

-Milton Dammers

Pros: Passionate and hard working. Speaks his mind.

Cons: Will not listen to you, no ability to compromise. Probably smells bad, greasy hair. Aware of his faults and has no want to change. Obsessive. Probably into some weird shit

-John

Pros: Ridiculously hot, will rock your world. Will break rules with you, in a hot way. Makes you feel appreciated

Cons: Will suicide bait you, ridiculously manipulative. Will ghost you. Kisses a rat on the mouth. Your boundaries? Never heard of them. Will love bomb you and hold that above your head.

[skyesdaisys]

Hi love can you please write some Callie x fem reader hcs

of course!!! writing headcanons is so much faster and easier than actually writing one shots (literally need to write/finish my other two current requests ahsjdjdj) also callie my babygirl, i love her SO bad

your guys' relationship is a bit of a slow burn. because 1. she's with kyle but also 2. mommy issues. she knows her parents relationship isn't as perfect as they make it seem and it takes a toll on her a bit (kind of like nancy wheeler, but at least with callie, jeff actually cares about his family, with shauna.... it's complicated, but we're well aware of that)

even as friends, callie wants to keep her distance. like yeah, she does have alana but with you, it was different. something that was stronger (yet again, i don't think callie let alana sleep over at her house and i wouldn't blame her)

but when you do, callie REALLY wants to make sure you don't come to her house mainly because of shauna. it's just lesbian with mommy issues (callie is a lesbian to me, i will die on that hill)

and well, it takes her a while to build of the courage to tell you how she feels about you. like a loooooooong while. but she does eventually because you help her open up more, making you feel like safe space for her

but it takes a bit longer after you guys get together for her to let you meet her parents

when she does, she literally begs shauna and jeff to not be weird about it at all

jeff tries to keep his cool about it, to be an ally (he literally searches online about "what to do when your daughter brings home a girl?")

shauna, at first, isn't fond of you, but over time, she comes around to the idea especially since you make her daughter happy. like genuinely happy. shauna does live her daughter, she just..... has a hard time showing it

you and callie aren't very touchy, and you guys don't have to be. when you're watching tv together, she has her head on your shoulder (or vice versa)

and if you aren't as affectionate as she is, that's fine. both of you have your boundaries and you set them and respect one another

same if you are physically affectionate. she let's you hug her, lay your head on her shoulder or her lap, cheek kisses, but you don't go overboard. just the small little things she enjoys

it takes her a while to say "i love you" but she eventually does when she feels that you're the one. and you are!

everytime you stay for dinner, jeff always tries to make you feel apart of the family. he just wants his little girl to be happy

and does this mean you'll be dragged into their family messes? yup. you are officially apart of the family, you are joining in their disasters whether you like it or not

and that means bonding with shauna a bit more as she slowly sees you as trustworthy and knows you're a good fit for callie (i know for a fact that she did not like kyle at all when callie was dating him and obviously, she hates that fucking cop and as she should. acab)

honestly, callie's parents become family to you, and accepting you into it because you make her happy (they are a dysfunctional murder family, but they are happy, in a weird fucked up way)

and yes, jeff invites you to holiday dinners, which makes callie flush in embarrassment

did this turn out to be more of you meeting shauna and jeff while dating callie? yes. but come on, the experience would be hilarious like "yeah, i'm apart of my girlfriend's crazy family that covers up murders. no big deal :)"

[theophagie]

Power play is already a thing that Blitz and Stolas do but do we think that their respective issues and traumas would ever allow them to switch and manage to turn this into a scene without someone getting triggered real bad at some point......

Like would they be willing to give it a try once everything is settled. Yeaaagg. But would it go well is the question...

[Note: "switch" here is used specifically in the bdsm way. Please. Please can we learn that - while there can be and often is an overlap between them - top/bottom/vers and dom/sub/switch are different things, and they don't necessarily equal each other in a 1:1 way. Yes Blitz is well acquainted with Stolas' strap whilst still mostly being the top in their relationship, no who tops or bottoms in this hypothetical situation isn't The Point, here I'm referring to them switching up their established dom!Blitz/sub!Stolas dynamic specifically (easy mode), and doing it in a way that they may or may not even be able to handle (or handle particularly well) (hard mode). Anyway]

Imo future/post-character development Blitz might, might, Maybe be able to play the game or at least fake if until he makes it if the stars align, and as long as he has ten thousand prior reassurances and hours of vulnerability and conversation on his back... Maybe. But even with these same precautions in place for himself, I don't think that Stolas would manage to pull if off at all kek. Like I do think that he could and would enjoy domming too as well, just. not this kind of domming...

Ultimately I think that the difference between them is.

I do think that Blitz does genuinely enjoy dominance and finds it really fun (it makes him go a little silly-ier even) mind you, but under a few hundred levels of bravado, self-hatred, sarcasm, insecurity, etc, his little wounded heart very much also craves for the chance to open itself up to someone so that it can finally let everything pour out and be vulnerable and little weepy and a lot less restrained, which is something that puts him on a good road towards submission (and tbh in my humble opinion current Blitz is already halfway-if-not-more there). The guy really needs someone he loves to take the wheel and let him sit back and take everything that they can give him man... But while a scene like ⬆️ might be Too Much, I do think that some part of him would also be eager to see if maybe it'd be possible for him and Stolas to reframe those early days of their relationship together, to turn all that hurt and uncertainty and uncomfortabless into something that he'd be in control of now, something that could be fun if indulged like this

Stolas on the other hand is kind of "stereotypical" in the sense that this is a guy with a lot of power in his hands (both metaphorically and not), but who's also always been expected to have everything together and be responsible for everyone and everything his whole life (and who very much internalised this notion), so when you see him going off about getting ravished or commanded you go "makes sense, it allows him to let loose" (and it fits that he's kinda bratty about it. princey prince). But for how imperious or insensitive he can be when it comes to his station, because of their history and his fears and insecurities I think that he'd be hesitant about domming Blitz exactly because he wouldn't feel comfortable with consciously wielding that power over him, not even as play (unless he could go about it in a playful or gentle way I think, nothing stern or mean or anything), with a scene like ⬆️ possibly toeing the line between "I'm not into it but I can try" and "ABORT⚠️"

Regardlesssss. Having hard boundaries isn't a bad thing or a personal failure, sometimes things go wrong and knowing how to navigate that is a whole other set of requirements. And it's interesting to think about them doing just that together 💜

[acceleracers-baby]

hellooo! so uhhh

I was watching the new Monster High animated series (g3) and then I saw the episode of Twyla saying "I'm autistic and loud noises bother me, could you stop that please?" and she is so cute

could you do that with the Teku team when someone/the reader(any gender) says that to them?

(I hope you don't mind ofc, I loved that Monster High episode)

Howdy! Thank you so much for the ask! I don’t know much about Monster High but hopefully I did your prompt justice!

Reactions to Audio Sensitivity! Teku Edition!

Teku

(Nolo Pasaro, Vert Wheeler, Shirako Takamoto, Kurt Wylde, Karma Eiss)

———

Nolo Pasaro - If you ask Nolo to quiet down due to sensory issues- not only will he immediately comply, but he will get the rest of the crew to settle down too. Whether it’s the music, the tools, or even just the group being rambunctious, he is very quick to make accommodations. He may not fully understand what you’re going through, but he respects it and wants you to be comfortable. After he fixes whatever noise was bothering you, he’s always quick to check in. "Better?"

Vert Wheeler - Vert will literally SCRAMBLE to stop whatever noise is messing with you. He has fully shoved himself through his car's open window just to reach his radio faster to lower his music when asked. He'll apologize the whole time saying stuff like "Holy shit! My bad, I had no idea!" or he'll reassure you that he thought his music was too loud anyway so its a good thing someone told him to turn it down just so you don't feel bad about asking for an accommodation.

Shirako Takamoto - You don't even have to ask Shirako. He spots the signs of overstimulation and just immediately moves to fix the problem. Even if it's someone else causing the noise. He legit will just go up to them and casually ask them to stop whatever their doing under the guise that its bothering him, not you, so that way you don't have to speak up if you don't want to, but it also gives you the opportunity to agree with him and set a boundary for the future.

Kurt Wylde - Kurt understands completely. In fact, due to all the head trauma this guy has suffered, he honestly probably has a few noise/light sensitives of his own that often cause migraines. So, when you ask Kurt to chill out with the noise, he doesn’t even question it, he just agrees. If he’s working on his car, he’ll take it as an excuse to grab some food or take a break. In his opinion, it’s not hard to make accommodations for other people, so he never makes a big deal out of it.

Karma Eiss - I feel like Karma also has some noise sensitives. I like to think she wears those little Loop earplugs whenever she’s in the shop to avoid any issues so when she hears about you having the same problems she just buys you a pair too hoping that they will help. She doesn’t even really give them to you either. She just leaves them where you usually hang out with a note attached like ‘try these.’ And the next time you’re around her she’ll be like “are they helping at all?” and that’s how you figure out who left them out for you.

——— Thanks for Reading! ———

[dtaegis]

3 days. and the boy already feels bad for the decisions he took 🫥

[if-you-like-pina-colada-s]

You've probably read a million high school/college AU's and maybe some middle school or kindergarten ones. Regardless, you've seen the Hetalia characters a students. But what would they be like if they were teachers? Here's what I think...

Hetalia characters and what kind of teacher I think they'd be:

America: He's the kind of teacher that's generally pretty chill, except due to that, he gives the most gut wrenching "I'm very disappointed in you guys" speeches. And he's actually a very busy teacher who is diligent, so he doesn't take easy to students who slack off and expect to pass by doing absolutely nothing. But he's one of those teachers who has buddy-buddy type conversations with students.

Canada: He's a sweet and very understanding teacher. You can tell from the first day of class that he's super approachable. He keeps a well organized class space with very straight forward boundaries. He's blunt and honest but he's nice about it. He stays extra hours after school incase anyone wants tutoring or maybe just wants to hang out even.

France: His classroom is definitely very decorative and pretty. He likes to feel comfy. Not a huge fan of boring assignments. He likes creativity and will actively do what it takes to get all students participating. Don't think you can sit in your little emo corner by the window because he will ask you to speak up about what you thought about your classmates presentation. Also he pays a lot of attention to his students, so he notices when someone's having a bad day and is willing to chat with them.

England: He is very orderly and quite strict. He's the kind of teacher that says "today we're gonna do a fun assignment" and then proceeds to assign a 5 page essay. He loves what he teaches but more often than not the students don't share the same sentiment over the subject. Students tend to think he has a personal vandetta against them, but in reality he doesn't. He just wants you to be self-disciplined because he genuinely cares, but it tends to come off as "I just want to fail you".

China: He's strict. He doesn't play games. Don't think you can get away with ass-kissing or trying to play teachers pet because unless you actually do the work, you ain't passing. He's one of those old teachers that knows every trick students could possibly try to pull. And by the same token, he's that old teacher that never gives up on a student. He will do what he can to teach you what you need to learn, even if it's the last thing he does.

Russia: Every student on campus is terrified of him. His assignments are not easy, he is not shy about assigning tough work. But he's always in his class (yes, always) so if you don't go in to ask for help that's on you babes. He will actually take the time to explain it one step at a time. He's also just happy to have company during his lunch time. And he really appreciates little gifts, he's the teacher that never throws away gifts from students that have graduated years ago.

Japan: He's not the most talkative or loud teacher, but he still knows how to demand students attention, even while keeping a calm, unbothered face. And he has a quiet voice, he is not afraid to "raise" his volume if necessary (I say "raise" cuz its more of a harsh berating tone). He is very kind, and he explains things very well the first time. He's strict on due dates and punctuality though. However, he's more lenient on other things (as long as you show respect to him, of course).

Germany: He's scary. First day of class he immediately gives a speech about how he will not tolerate any bullshit whatsoever. (I imagine him giving the spiel he gave at the world meeting in episode 1.) He has a small but very well enforced set of rules. The basics: just show respect and do your work as expected. You will learn that if you try your best, he will give you grace and understanding regardless of the result. He's pretty generous, really, just don't be a lazy ass.

Italy: He's perky and preppy and ready to start the day, every day. Even if he arrives right before the bell rings. He's a teacher of few rules, but don't take advantage of that. He will put his foot down eventually, for he can only let things go so far. He always wants to help and will be there for you if you need to talk, but disrespectful behavior will have consequences. If you decide you want to chose that path, he's happy to let you have enough rope to hang yourself with.

Alright, that's all I have for now. Feel free to comment! (Do they sound like any teachers you've had?) I can always add more to this because, lowkey, I could use a teacher AU for a change. I've seen enough Hetalia characters as dumb high schoolers. Also, who would be your favorite if they were your teachers?

[plato-repulsed-culture-is]

sorry if this is a weird question, but um, a girl i know asked me out. Shes aplatonic but alloromantic and allosexual. I do like her back, but im a bit worried.. ive dated a guy before who didnt have friends and what ended up happening is that i had to support him 100% of the time when something bad happened and i had to be with him after school every day because i was the only person he talked to and he would get lonely otherwise. He even threatened to do bad things to himself if i went to a friend's sleepover because it made him feel bad. Im really worried that something like this would repeat... it lowkey traumatized me i think. Is this a valid concern or are aplatonic people different and they dont really need much emotional support compared to non-aplatonic people? Or was my ex just uniquely an asshole? Thank u so so much if u respond

I am prefacing this with a disclaimer that this blog was never for giving people advice, especially when they view aplatonics with such suspicion and are not actually asking any advice related to plato repulsion which is what this blog is about. I can also only go off of your statements here to draw conclusions, and I am assuming you are stating the truth here (especially as this is online, I know there is a possibility people can lie, but may also be telling the truth.). Also, we are not responsible for anything that happens to you emotionally or otherwise if you make decisions based off of this advice, because thats not within our control.

From what you said, your ex sounds like he was being rather toxic and manipulative towards you. That kind of behaviour is harmful (threatening self harm as a form of control, trying to control who someone spends time with, and not respecting peoples boundaries regarding interaction or emotional support, are all harmful actions.) and nobody should be acting that way towards others, we're sorry that happened to you. You also don't need to be concerned that someone will act this way towards you just bc theyre aplatonic. Your concern is valid, but it is in no way something that will inherently apply to aplatonics.

If you are concerned about whether this person has unmet social needs then you should just ask her about her social needs and emotional needs and what she expects in a relationship, and communicate about your needs and emotions regarding these things too. If its possible to, maybe mention that you have past issues or trauma in relationships which is why you want to be careful about dating, while not making it seem like aplatonicism is inherently a reason you think someone might hurt you(because it's not).

Set boundaries about what amount of time you want to spend with someone you're dating, and state your limits regarding how much you are okay with emotionally supporting someone / what topics you are ok with talking about / etc. . Don't assume that someone will be toxic or abusive towards you just because they're aplatonic. Its not really like your ex was inherently aplatonic just because he didn't have friends, and it may even be more likely he was alloplatonic.

Some aplatonics have and/or want friends but some dont, and moreover, if someone doesnt have friends by choice, that's very different from someone who is lonely because they don't have friends and mistreats a partner because of it. I will also add here that I don't intend to malign mental health issues just because it sounds like your ex may have had them (as you mentioned loneliness - which is different from just being alone or even liking solitude) ; mental health issues do not innately make someone abusive or toxic, and one can have mental health issues and still be respectful to people.

Someone without any mental health issues can also still very much be abusive or toxic towards others. And honestly, if you associate the concept of aplatonicism itself with this trauma then maybe its not in the best interest of you or the other person to date? And if it applies maybe it could be possible that you are simply not ready to date someone again after what happened, which is also okay, but I don't intend to assume that or be harsh in stating it as a possibility. I will also add that not having friends is not a 'red flag'. If someone has a preference to date/ be involved with people who have friends, that's okay, but not having friends is not inherently a 'red flag'.

Some aplatonics may not get lonely if they don't talk to people (but this can also be true of alloplatonics), and just because someone is aplatonic doesnt mean they will expect their partner to support them all the time to an unhealthy level or to an extent that crosses their boundaries. I will also add that there is no surefire way to tell whether someone will be abusive or toxic, although if they cross your boundaries or are disrespectful to you from the start, its worth staying away from them. Even ppl who are very kind to you initially may at some point abuse you or mistreat you, and theres no way to tell for sure whether or not this will happen because thats kind of how social relationships of any kind are.

But don't profile aplatonics as inherently more likely to be abusive or toxic (I don't know if this is intentional on your part, but hearing the word 'aplatonic' and making all these assumptions about how one may be in a relationship wounds like either this and/or like a trauma trigger extending to the concept of aplatonicism). Not all aplatonics even approach social relationships the same way, and even those who don't have friends are still capable of respecting boundaries in relationships they engage in. I wouldn't say that aplatonic people don't have emotional needs, but people in general have varying social needs and emotional needs. Some people who don't want friends may specifically not have a social drive towards having friends, but this may also apply to people who want friends.

If someone is happy without having friends then they probably don't seek emotional or social fulfillment from friendship. They may have other relationship types even if they are aplatonic (such as familial , romantic, sexual, alterous, etc.) (I don't know if you and this girl are monogamous are not but if you are intending to be monogamous that obviously is excluding sexual and/or romantic then) , and I will add that people don't always need social relationships/ bonds for emotional support. Some people may process emotions through journalling, or may go to a therapist, or such.

Some people may have people they talk to sometimes but don't call them their friends. Having friends does not ever guarantee anyone emotional support, and neither does any other relationship. It just so happens that a lot of people end up mutually (i.e. more or less both ppl give the other emotional support, it doesnt have to be equal so much as it is respecting the boundaries of both people. It is also possible that people may be incompatible in this regard) giving emotional support due to just being around people they are close to and also due to having some kind of emotional connection.

Anyways, long answer short, aplatonicism doesn't say anything about someone's social needs or emotional needs, and neither does alloplatonicism, and its often better to communicate with people you are close to or are looking to be close to, about important aspects regarding relationships.

(Also stating here that this is not an advice blog, we will be deleting any asks seeking advice from now on. If you want you can send in asks as reply to this response, as long as you aren't asking for more advice)

Anyways I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide to do.

(Additional disclaimer - to anyone who sees this post - do NOT suggest that 'narc abuse' 'borderline abuse' or whatever is real, do not imply mental health issues cause ppl to inherently be abusive, and do not treat having no friends as a 'red flag', regardless of platonic orientation or favorability)

[petruchio]

My boyfriend is still friends with his ex and ngl it makes me really uncomfortable. What confused me initially is that my feelings of jealousy don't come from a place of distrust, I've done the work and have figured out where these feelings stem from and I don't think anything will happen and I do feel I am the priority. I've mentioned to him in the past that it makes me feel uncomfortable when he brings her up and he agreed he brings her up too much and stopped for the most part. What's really getting me this evening is he's flying home tomorrow and is going to see her for lunch. As I said, I feel secure and wholeheartedly believe nothing will happen, but it still makes me feel icky. And that icky feeling is an unpleasant one to have. I know the mature thing would be to communicate this to him, but I also don't want to be that girl that says I don't want you seeing this person.

oof. this is tough one. i totally hear you on not wanting to be “that girl” who says you can’t see your ex, but i also think your feeling of being a little weirded out is valid!! i don’t think anyone here is necessarily in the wrong — especially depending on how the relationship ended. it’s (in my opinion) totally valid to stay friends with an ex if there’s no bad blood. but that doesn’t mean that you, as the current partner, aren’t allowed to feel some type of way about it.

i guess what it comes down to is a few things: first of all, i think it’s a green flag that when you communicated a boundary (i don’t like it when you talk about her) he did respect it! because i feel like a lot of times, feelings like this come from a deeper place than what the surface level disagreement might be. usually it comes down to people not respecting boundaries, but in this case, you set one and he respected it and actually agreed to it which seems like a good thing (based on the information in your message!!)

so i think in the case of the lunch thing, it’s probably too late to say anything now (you said it’s happening tomorrow and he’s leaving) but maybe it’s worth having a conversation afterward? and you don’t necessarily have to have it be like “i never want you to see her again, you’re a bad person, etc etc” but i think you’ve already identified that the healthy, mature response would be to communicate. well… you’re right! so why not try just having that conversation? you could lead into it from a place of “hey, i trust you completely and i really appreciated it when you respected my request that you bring up your ex less. to be honest, i got a bit of a weird feeling when you guys went to lunch, and it’s not coming from a place of mistrust, but i just wanted to tell you i felt a bit weird about it” and then see what he says? because he might agree, like he agreed about the bringing her up thing, or he might say oh we were catching up on home stuff because we’re each others main home friends, or honestly something else that i have no way of guessing. but he won’t know how you feel unless you say something, and it would probably be better to get it out in the open between you to than letting it fester and build resentment.

and that’s not the same as banning him from seeing her outright! it’s just letting him know how you felt. you can even be as honest as you were in this message and say these same things: i don’t want to be the kind of person who bans you from seeing her, but i just wanted to communicate my feelings about it. and his reaction to that, i think, will be very telling as to how much he values you and cares about your level of comfort and trust in the relationship. and hopefully that will lead to a conversation that can help you guys come to a solution that works for all of you.

sending you lots of love and courage!! these conversations are hard. it’s always easier to bottle it up and not make waves. but i think in a situation like this, it’s worth saying something. it’s not about setting rules on the other person in the relationship, it’s just about getting those feelings out there and then deciding how to proceed together, in a way that feels healthy and safe and loving for both of you. i believe in you!!!!

[wilderavyn]

Watch Hidden Agenda Ep 6 with me

Spoilers Ahead!

P1

0:58 Starting off strong Joke!

2:58 I would have looked it up right away too.

5:16 He's not too bad. Translation you like him. I love that no one is surprised or bothered that he might be into guys.

5:38 Oh good friends indeed.

8:06 That whole exchange was sweet.

11:33 That was smooth and adorable Joke.

13:01 I love what a scaredy cat he is.

15:17 Sulky baby.

P2

0:54 You won't even taste it? 🤨

1:45 Well damn

2:56 I do love that Zo is setting down clear boundaries. Respect him for that.

3:42 Damn Zo is being so reasonable right now.

7:23 Well that was creepy af!

8:50 Super fucking creepy!

9:25 Super gross.

10:29 Well that could complicate things.

11:04 Oh this is past tense. They were never even together. Interesting.

P3

5:44 that was a sweet confession of admiration.

7:28 Hitting him with some solid advice Nita! Let's hope he listens to you.

10:46 That was a very sweet interaction.

P4

1:31 WTF Jeng! I know you're trying to keep it a secret but damn. What alternative universe are they in since answering the opposite of what they should?

2:38 Damn Pok be stirring up trouble for fun. lol

3:20 He take care of you all the time Zo so he doesn't have the time to take care of himself properly ok?

8:18 Not cool man. Tell him how you're feeling. Even if that's just I'm not sure still. Don't run away to shower.

12:51 Silence doesn't mean yes but I'm glad you're at least asking.

14:10 Omg finally!

Glad we're getting some progress with these two. Hope it's not ruined next week with family drama.

[toasted-leaf]

My first date as an Autistic person

Okay, so I'm a 23 y/o autistic woman who's recently diagnosed (less than a year ago) and have never dated anyone, never been on a date or kissed anyone before. As someone who always struggled with social interactions, dating or going out with people was never really on my radar. Although it was something that I really wanted to experience, I never got the oportunity to do so due to many different reasons (whether them being considered "on the less attractive side" while growing up, having severe social and generalized anxiety, personality/ behaviours also being considered to be out of the norm, etc). Enough years had past where I've already given up on having those experiences and to be honest I was fine with it.

But to my own surprise, I was asked out by a random guy that I met at my local bookstore. From the get go I thought that it wouldn't necessarily be a "great" date (since I would be in a completely new social situation with someone that I didn't knew, it was less likely for me to feel comfortable and properly enjoy the whole thing), but since the opportunity has appeared, I wanted to see what it was like just for funsies. Luckily, I was pleasantly surprised and had, what I consider, to be a very nice first experience. I was very very very anxious about it beforehand and, even though my friends and therapist gave me a lot of good advice, it felt like I was taking a shot in the dark. I had a vague idea on how dates worked but never went on one myself, and specially didn't knew what it would look like from the perspective of someone who's on the spectrum.

So, I'll share a bit of my experience and what I've learned in case anyone wants to know or finds themselves in a similar situation.

SOME TIPS:

In order to be more safe, it's good to know at least little bit about them prior to the date. Their age, their work, any hobbies, where they usually like to hang out, etc., those are things that usually come up naturally on first conversations but if they don't, I don't think it's weird to ask them on a casual manner (like "do you work nearby? Oh cool, what do you work with?", "and by the way, how old are you?").

Me and the guy didn't texted e/o too much before the date (specially cause I suck at texting people) but while doing so, he was very respectful and considerate when I asked for us to get to know each other more before meeting up. I've been on very toxic friendships in the past due to missing some more nuanced red flags so this was something good that caught my eye.

Also, by texting them you can have a little bit of a better idea of who you're meeting up with, so I recomend it!!

One of the reasons on why I agreed on hanging out even though he was a somewhat stranger, was that when we first spoke, at all times I felt comfortable and able to set any boundaries if needed. If you're not used to this situation it's probably going to feel a bit weird to do these new things, but it's always a green flag if they make you feel comfortable and make sure to give you space to make decisions.

If you're going to meet someone, meet up on a more public space (like a mall, a restaurant or a park) for safety reasons.

I asked my mom to call me 1h30 into the date so that, in case it went bad, I could use it as an excuse to leave asap. It ended up not being necessary in my case, but you can ask someone of trust to do that to make you feel more relaxed.

Be aware that, if you're meeting in a public space, chances are that it can be a little bit crowded and it can be sensory overwhelming. I wasn't expecting that so it caught me off guard, however we were able to find a more secluded area to sit and talk while still being in public.

Prepare beforehand some questions and topics that can be enjoyable to the both of you to talk about in order to lessen the moments of silence (I did it, however I forgot a lot of them due to being sensory overwhelmed at the time).

You most likely will have to mask a little more on this first encounter, they'll probably try to sit a little closer to you and maintain a lot of eye contact (something that I wasn't prepared for and had a little bit of a hard time doing) so be aware of that as well.

SETTING BOUNDARIES:

The guy I went on a date with is a very touchy person. I am not. Specially with people that I don't know that well. So, even if he wasn't doing anything with malice or bad intentions, there were times where I had to comunicate that it felt a little too much for me.

Setting boundaries doesn't have to be weird or make anyone feel offended, it's a natural thing in all types of relationships and you can do it while still being casual and polite. You can always suggest something else that makes you feel more comfortable instead (for example "hey, I don't really like being hugged like that, how about we hold hands for now?") or reassure them that you're just letting them know that about you so that both of you can have a better time together.

When it comes to sharing about your diagnosis, it definitely has it's pros and cons. I didn't plan on telling him about mine initially cause I was a bit afraid of hearing unwanted ableist comments, maybe in the future or if the topic came up and it felt safe, I would do so. However it wasn't really necessary cause he able to tell lol.

In my case, by letting him know that I was feeling a bit anxious and that I was autistic it made the whole situation better. I felt more at peace and wasn't trying to hide this part of me anymore, he was very comprehensive about it and even adapted a few things like change the way he was seatted so that I wouldn't have to maintain direct eye contact with him anymore (yes, it was very cute !!!! and it made me soooo much more comfortable)

Still, if you choose not to share about it, it's completely valid and understandable.

It also can be a good thing to share about you not having that much experience on dates if you feel okay doing so. Since I clearly looked very anxious, it made him aware that it was a "me thing", and not something that he did wrong.

I think in most countries is not unusual to kiss on the first date, but you REALLY don't have any obligation to do anything that you're not comfortable doing. Since I had never kissed anyone before it was something that I was very anxious about, I said "not yet" initially but as I got more comfortable and made him aware of my lack of experience, I was okay with giving it a try.

OTHER THINGS:

A good thing to keep in mind is that a date is supposed to be enjoyable for the both of you. So don't be afraid to ask the person if they are comfortable, what you can do to make them more comfortable and make sure to talk it out to find a middle ground that works for the both of you. They'll probably feel just as grateful for this attitude as you would.

I think dates that you do stuff together (like go out to eat, go to a karaoke, take a pottery class together, visit a museum, etc) can ease the pressure of keep talking all the time. In opposition, dates that you mainly just have a conversation can be less overwhelming in general. It's good to have in mind what you think would fit your needs better.

Since it's something new, the situation as a whole will probably be a little out of your comfort zone. But try to enjoy it and take it as an opportunity to meet the other person and get to know them and, if you feel okay with it, to try some new stuff as well.

I know it can feel a little tricky to do this while masking, but be yourself !! This is an opportunity for you to get to know the other person better as well as an opportunity for them to get to know you. If things don't work out it's probably for the best, you don't have to force yourself to be someone you're not in order to fit somebody else's standards.

I was very lucky to have had a date with the person I did, he was genuinely a good person and I'm very grateful on how cute, respectful and understanding he was at all times. I hope he was also able to have a somewhat good experience!

Those were some of the things I was able to learn, I really don't think this is a situation of "one size fits all" but I hope it can be a little helpful to someone out there while adapting it to their own reality. ALSO, I cannot stress this enough, but if you're an adult like I am and never had these experiences, it doesn't mean anything bad about you. You're never "too old" to go through them and it's not bad to not have them at all.

[namtanlovesfilm]

I saw your recent tag on your explicitly bisexual characters in bls set (i remember when you first posted it!!feels so long ago!) and it got me thinking of a few characters. i don’t really understand the term “explicit” I think, but these characters are not straight and talked about it or mentioned it. I didn't watch half of the series but i saw it on my dash enough to basically know enough lmao. ritsu in the end of the world with you (he said the B✨ word). love in the air payu (he said the B✨ word). rain love in the air (buuut…not explicit i think but it's bi4bi), i thought abt dont say no leon but he said he is pan not bi i think. bad buddy pat, when they have the hotpot double date they talk about it. Hmmm roommates of poongduck i guess but is it explicit ?idk he said to his love interest he didn’t care if he was a guy. In the movie with saint and mean, there’s a guy who tells his mom about liking a boy and a girl. … Was Gav from gameboys bi?  Speaking of which ! The following characters ARE in bls…so 👀 technically 🤷‍♀️ frdttgh. pearl from gameboys, and i think she said the B✨ word. MISS TIFFY MARRY ME PLSSSS hahem from lovely writer. also kitty my girl i love you from dark blue kiss. pa from bad buddy, well.. she said anyone who’s taller than her will do so… i guess it works lmao. And finally, my secret crush, Yuna!! from semantic error, the power she has hm hm. 

So sorry for this word vomit but it’s all i can think of the things i see on my dash, and from stuff i watched two years ago lol. 

…okay in big sense of the term i dont really believe in “bad representation” to some extent concerning overall queer characters, who are a mess or doing something not ‘green flaggy’. With that in mind… the 2 guys i mentioned who have SAID they are BISEXUAL, ritsu and payu, and alex from uwma from your gifset who SAID it too, all three of them… have serious issues lmao can’t take no don’t respect boundaries plays around with feelings. i LOVE ‘messy’ queer and more specifically bi- characters but i JUST realised the only THREE male characters from DRAMAS I KNOW ABOUT who loudly identify as bi are like this. again, it’s just an observation. and i dont watch every bl on the planet moreover 😅 but yeah wow

okay so lots of things to answer lol. first of all when I say explicitly bisexual, it's exactly what is shown in the gifset, it's either saying the word which is very rare, or at least proclaiming that you like both, that don't wanna choose, etc. a LOT of bl characters are bi bc they're shown as having love interests with girls before ending up with a guy, but it's never explicitly said. that's why I appreciate when bi characters get to make it explicit in bls. I didn't watch love in the air & have never heard of the end of the world with you so that's why I couldn't use those as examples, the only recent ones I was thinking about were pat from bb and pete from the player, but that's not enough to make a gifset, is it? :'))) also for poongduck 304 I don't remember him explicitly saying that he's bi, and for von the movie, I know! I giffed that part lol! but it's not a bl so I couldn't include it in the gifset... also for the girlies, I do need to make the girl characters version of that gifset, but so far there's not enough characters ;_; and oh no for all the bi characters using the word openly being toxic, I hate that shit...

xxx