#i don’t recommend making them at all actually
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📚 It girl's guide to school 📚
hiii girls! this is part of the big Guide to being the It Girl. this section will be all about school, studying and academics. i'll teach you how to tackle school, get the highest grades effortlessly, and look chic and gorgeous doing it! the rest of the ultimate it girl series is linked! 🎀
guide to getting good grades:
LISTEN IN CLASS. one of the best tips ever. if you would actually listen to what your teachers teaching in class, you’d get to spend a lot less time studying.
ask if you need help! these teachers are qualified for the job, they’re meant to be good at it. so if you don’t understand something, don’t be afraid to ask. and if you’re really too much of a chicken, ask once the class is over or email the teacher. but honestly? half the kids probably aren’t even listening tbh so u do ur thing!
participate in class. actually participating in class will help you so much in recalling the information. it’s a great way to actively revise. you don’t have to be a teachers pet or anything, but if you know the answer, put yourself out there. anyone who judges you simply judges themselves and their inability to speak up.
change up your environment so that you're still interested and excited to learn! you could go to a coffee shop, set up a mini picnic in the woods, go to a library, etc.
use alter egos!! i will never stop recommending this because it really is an amazing tip. either you can create your own alter ego who loves to study and gets high grades, or you could pretend you're rory gilmore or hermione granger!
revision/ study techniques:
feynman technique: teach it to someone else/ to plushies. try not to look at your notes too much, pretend ur a teacher.
use practice questions/ practice exams! trust me this can be so helpful! try and find past exams and go over them in exam conditions so you can see what u missed later. or, you can get all the info and ask an AI like chatgpt to write questions based on it and go through them!
BLURTING! love this method! basically, you write all the information you know about the topic on one page (optional: set a time limit) and then go over it with a different colour pen and add in what you missed. do this a couple times until you haven't missed anything! - you can do this by creating a mind-map, or literally just scribbling down everything you know.
SQ3R method: survey/ skim over the text, question- make questions on it, read- begin reading to find the answers to the questions, recite- summarise the words in a section in your own words, review- quiz yourself on what you just learnt
organise/ prioritise what you need to study using the traffic light method. first, identify the topics, then highlight them according to these 3 colors: red- struggling a lot/ no idea , yellow- okay ish, need to work on it a bit tho , green- good understanding & confident on the topic.
make associations. this is especially helpful for when you need to memorise things. the thing you need to memorise- link it to stuff that you already know.
⭐️ use mnemonics, songs, raps to remember! a couple years back, my science teacher made us create a rap on osmosis (a biology term). and not even kidding, i still remember the simple definition of what it does because of that rap! so create songs or rap and maybe even make a whole music video on it! trust me, not only is it so fun but it really does help keep the information in your mind!
more resources:
huge big list of studying and school
another big study masterpost
100 reasons to study
how to be a whole new student this year
ACE your exams -by me!
study icons:
as i mentioned earlier, channelling the energy of a character who already studies and gets good grades is an amazing way of getting yourself motivated! here are some of my favs & tips to study like them! (p.s i've also added links to the names for a more in depth guide on each person!)
♡ rory gilmore
she loves studying- develop that mindset! have a passion for learning more.
"i can go from 0 to studying in less than 60 seconds"
switch between different subjects when you get bored
ask someone to test you with flashcards
♡ elle woods:
study while you exercise- take care of ur body too!
"what, like its hard?"- i love her sm for this!! if anyone else can do something, of course you can do it too!
be ambitious + have strong source of motivation
get into study groups
♡ paris geller
have the discipline and ambition to do the things that will get you to where you want.
"i want to win, and i'm going to win." - love this, she's sure of herself and confident in her abilities.
prioritise & use to do lists
start early to be the top of your class!
♡ blair waldorf
honestly its so fun to embody her energy of high value, cares about her education, so confident and takes no sh*t from others!
"anything you can do, i can do better"
always have a plan
have flash cards, take notes
♡ hermione granger
always participate in class!
read more about the material. + learn more!
teach others & help them study
finish the hw/ work quickly and do the extra credit!
stylish in school 101:
SURVIVING SCHOOL AIR: here are some tips to staying/ looking pretty and refreshed all day at school bc u and i both know the horrors of school air 🙀 :)
DRINK WATER. stay hydrated - very important. always drink water. this keeps your lips hydrated, face hydrated, and just makes you look a lil less dead.
lip gloss/ lip balm to reapply throughout the day, esp for my girlies with chapped lips! i keep lip balm in my pocket so its always there when needed, but you can also keep it in your locker/ bag/ pencil case.
perfume. you can keep it in your locker/ bag/ pencil case to spray whenever needed and smell sweet and amazing the entire day <3
stop touching your face!! your hands have so much crusty dust and bacteria that can give pimples on your face.
keep hair away from your face. leave it out if you want, but try to make sure it doesn't touch your face too much- it also has tons of crusty musty dusty germs
keep a hairbrush in your locker. listen, i know how messy hair can get during school so keeping it in school is SO helpful to maintain the tidyness and cleanliness
waterproof makeup - if you wear makeup.
sunscreen!! keep. applying. SUNSCREENN!! i'm not going to elaborate further on this point.
ACCESSORISING YOUR UNIFORM!!
this is for the girlies who have a school uniform! i understand it can be so annoying so to have more fun and feel more confident, ACCESSORIZEE everything as much as you're allowed! here are some ideas!
♡ necklesses
♡ bracelets
♡ bows in your hair
♡ bows in your bag
♡ bows everywhere basically 🎀
♡ decorate your ipad/ pencilcase with stickers
♡ headbands
♡ rings
♡ cute earrings
♡ cute watch
♡ nails
♡ a cute clip!
the ultimate it girl series
xoxo, vanilla!
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#it girl#self improvement#becoming that girl#self love#girlboss#it girl energy#girlblog#self development#girlblogging#studying#school#study#school tips#studying tips#school air#glamour#it girl tips#it girl guide#dream girl#dream girl tips#study methods#study tips#revision tips#revison methods#school guide#productivity#thewizardliz#rory gilmore#elle woods
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I can’t believe it. We’re finally here. Round 3 starts tomorrow (2/1), with our first poll dropping at 8 am EST.
Some notes:
Round 3 will be our biggest round yet, and I have 227 polls scheduled. That’s almost a year’s worth of polls. It should be obvious that not every Order is going to make it to Round 4. So you’re going to need to be more choosy this round. Be honest. Come here with a plan. Do a bit of research. Know your favs. This next round is covering Animal Orders. If your favorite animal is a Great White Shark you need to know that it’s a Lamniform. So you should make sure you’re only voting fav in the Lamniformes poll and not fav in the other shark polls. You can still vote love or like in those polls; that’s what those options are there for. But this round is going to require a bit more focus if we want a diverse roundup next year! If you’re someone who votes favorite in every poll, try to pick just one or two favorites from each class we’re covering. I would actually love if we could have at least one representative from each class moving forward. (That being said, don’t be afraid to reflect it in your vote if the descriptions and propaganda have you discovering new favorites! I’m kinda hoping for that here too!)
I can not state enough that this tournament relies on numbers. If you want your fav to move forward you have to make sure people see it. Reblog, post propaganda, etc. If you don’t have a large following, reblog the poll anyway, add some GOOD propaganda onto it, and then chances are I’ll reblog it which increases the chances of it getting seen again. Get your friends involved. If you know someone that only blogs about squids, tag them! This tournament is all about PASSION.
I had some complaints last round about missing some polls. These polls are all pre-scheduled. They post once a day, at 8am EST, and they’re open for 7 days. If you click on the tag #/Animal Polls while within my blog, you can see every poll in one place. I recommend doing that every so often so you don’t miss any of them! You can also turn on notifications or follow the blog via rss (but that also means your gonna be seeing asks, extra propaganda, and poll results as well.) On top of that, I will post a schedule of every single poll at the bottom of this post, under the read more. If there are polls you absolutely do not want to miss, put them in your calendar!
That being said, there is ONE BIG CHANGE this round. I am removing the hate option. I put the dislike and hate options there as a fun little mechanic to strategize and steal points from other people but uh… I’m ngl, it’s starting to Hurt My Feelings. Whoopsie. The dislike option will remain but I feel like hate is a bit too strong of an option to include. The fact that dislike, neutral, and simply not voting already detract points from the total seems like enough. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Still, as always, this is just a silly Tumblr tournament that doesn’t really matter in the long run. Nothing’s going to happen to the animals that make it to the next round and nothing’s going to happen to the animals that don’t, we’re just trying to figure out the most popular animal on Tumblr. If your favorite doesn’t make it, that’s okay! If anything, that just makes it, and you, all the more unique! And if it does? Welcome! You’ve found your people!
Poll Schedule under the read more
(Warning: It Big)
Polls will post once a day at 8am US EST.
Chondrichthyes:
Carcharhiniformes - Feb 1
Lamniformes - Feb 2
Orectolobiformes - Feb 3
Heterodontiformes - Feb 4
Squaliformes - Feb 5
Squatiniformes - Feb 6
Pristiophoriformes - Feb 7
Hexanchiformes - Feb 8
Myliobatiformes - Feb 9
Rajiformes - Feb 10
Rhinopristiformes - Feb 11
Torpediniformes - Feb 12
Chimaeriformes - Feb 13
Chondrichthyes Round-up and Mini Stat Post - Feb 20
Mammalia:
Monotremata - Feb 21
Didelphimorphia - Feb 22
Paucituberculata - Feb 23
Microbiotheria - Feb 24
Dasyuromorphia - Feb 25
Peramelemorphia - Feb 26
Notoryctemorphia - Feb 27
Diprotodontia - Feb 28
Macroscelidea - Mar 1
Afrosoricida - Mar 2
Tubulidentata - Mar 3
Proboscidea - Mar 4
Hyracoidea - Mar 5
Sirenia - Mar 6
Cingulata - Mar 7
Pilosa - Mar 8
Scandentia - Mar 9
Dermoptera - Mar 10
Primates - Mar 11
Lagomorpha - Mar 12
Rodentia - Mar 13
Eulipotyphla - Mar 14
Chiroptera - Mar 15
Pholidota - Mar 16
Carnivora - Mar 17
Perissodactyla - Mar 18
Artiodactyla - Mar 19
Mammalia Round-up and Mini Stat Post - Mar 26
Reptilia:
(I just want to give a heads up that there’s going to be an explosion of birds within the reptile polls and that’s not my fault; birds are just a lot more diverse than the other reptiles and you can blame how they’re classified)
Rhynchocephalia - Mar 27
Squamata - Mar 28
Testudines - Mar 29
Crocodylia - Mar 30
Struthioniformes - Mar 31
Tinamiformes - Apr 1
Rheiformes - Apr 2
Apterygiformes - Apr 3
Casuariiformes - Apr 4
Galliformes - Apr 5
Anseriformes - Apr 6
Phoenicopteriformes - Apr 7
Podicipediformes - Apr 8
Columbiformes - Apr 9
Mesitornithiformes - Apr 10
Pterocliformes - Apr 11
Cuculiformes - Apr 12
Otidiformes - Apr 13
Musophagiformes - Apr 14
Opisthocomiformes - Apr 15
Gruiformes - Apr 16
Charadriiformes - Apr 17
Caprimulgiformes - Apr 18
Nyctibiiformes - Apr 19
Steatornithiformes - Apr 20
Podargiformes - Apr 21
Aegotheliformes - Apr 22
Apodiformes - Apr 23
Phaethontiformes - Apr 24
Eurypygiformes - Apr 25
Gaviiformes - Apr 26
Procellariiformes - Apr 27
Sphenisciformes - Apr 28
Ciconiiformes - Apr 29
Suliformes - Apr 30
Pelecaniformes - May 1
Strigiformes - May 2
Accipitriformes - May 3
Coliiformes - May 4
Leptosomiformes - May 5
Trogoniformes - May 6
Bucerotiformes - May 7
Coraciiformes - May 8
Piciformes - May 9
Cariamiformes - May 10
Falconiformes - May 11
Psittaciformes - May 12
Passeriformes - May 13
Reptilia Round-up and Mini Stat Post - May 20
Cephalopoda:
Nautilida - May 21
Bathyteuthida - May 22
Idiosepida - May 23
Myopsida - May 24
Oegopsida - May 25
Sepiida - May 26
Spirulida - May 27
Vampyromorphida - May 28
Octopoda - May 29
Lissamphibia:
Anura - May 30
Urodela - May 31
Gymnophiona - Jun 1
Cephalopoda and Lissamphibia Round-up and Mini Stat Post - Jun 8
Actinopterygii:
Polypteriformes - Jun 9
Acipenseriformes - Jun 10
Amiiformes - Jun 11
Lepisosteiformes - Jun 12
Elopiformes - Jun 13
Albuliformes - Jun 14
Notacanthiformes - Jun 15
Anguilliformes - Jun 16
Hiodontiformes - Jun 17
Osteoglossiformes - Jun 18
Clupeiformes - Jun 19
Alepocephaliformes - Jun 20
Gonorynchiformes - Jun 21
Cypriniformes - Jun 22
Gymnotiformes - Jun 23
Siluriformes - Jun 24
Characiformes - Jun 25
Lepidogalaxiiformes - Jun 26
Argentiniformes - Jun 27
Esociformes - Jun 28
Salmoniformes - Jun 29
Osmeriformes - Jun 30
Stomiiformes - Jul 1
Galaxiiformes - Jul 2
Ateleopodiformes - Jul 3
Aulopiformes - Jul 4
Myctophiformes - Jul 5
Lampriformes - Jul 6
Percopsiformes - Jul 7
Polymixiiformes - Jul 8
Zeiformes - Jul 9
Gadiformes - Jul 10
Stylephoriformes - Jul 11
Trachichthyiformes - Jul 12
Stephanoberyciformes - Jul 13
Beryciformes - Jul 14
Cetomimiformes - Jul 15
Ophidiiformes - Jul 16
Batrachoidiformes - Jul 17
Gobiiformes - Jul 18
Kurtiformes - Jul 19
Scombriformes - Jul 20
Syngnathiformes - Jul 21
Ovalentaria (note: includes Cichliformes, Blenniiformes, Gobiesociformes, Cyprinodontiformes, and many others. If you don’t see your fav on the list it’s probably in this clade. I had to use Ovalentaria as it includes some families with uncertain order) - Jul 22
Anabantiformes - Jul 23
Carangiformes - Jul 24
Synbranchiformes - Jul 25
Scorpaeniformes - Jul 26
Perciformes - Jul 27
Priacanthiformes - Jul 28
Pleuronectiformes - Jul 29
Centrarchiformes - Jul 30
Labriformes - Jul 31
Acropomatiformes - Aug 1
Acanthuriformes - Aug 2
Lophiiformes - Aug 3
Tetraodontiformes - Aug 4
Actinopterygii Round-up and “Mini” Stat Post - Aug 11
Malacostraca:
Anaspidacea - Aug 12
Bathynellacea - Aug 13
Amphipoda - Aug 14
Mictacea - Aug 15
Cumacea - Aug 16
Isopoda - Aug 17
Lophogastrida - Aug 18
Mysida - Aug 19
Spelaeogriphacea - Aug 20
Stygiomysida - Aug 21
Tanaidacea - Aug 22
Thermosbaenacea - Aug 23
Decapoda - Aug 24
Euphausiacea - Aug 25
Stomatopoda - Aug 26
Leptostraca - Aug 27
Malacostraca Round-up and Mini Stat Post - Sep 3
Arachnida:
Ricinulei - Sep 4
Xiphosura - Sep 5
Opiliones - Sep 6
Solifugae - Sep 7
Sarcoptiformes - Sep 8
Oribatida - Sep 9
Trombidiformes - Sep 10
Eriophyoidea - Sep 11
Endeostigmata - Sep 12
Ixodida - Sep 13
Holothyrida - Sep 14
Opilioacarida - Sep 15
Mesostigmata - Sep 16
Palpigradi - Sep 17
Scorpiones - Sep 18
Pseudoscorpiones - Sep 19
Amblypygi - Sep 20
Schizomida - Sep 21
Uropygi - Sep 22
Araneae - Sep 23
Arachnida Round-up and Mini Stat Post - Sep 30
Insecta:
Archaeognatha - Oct 1
Zygentoma - Oct 2
Ephemeroptera - Oct 3
Odonata - Oct 4
Zoraptera - Oct 5
Dermaptera - Oct 6
Plecoptera - Oct 7
Orthoptera - Oct 8
Grylloblattodea - Oct 9
Mantophasmatodea - Oct 10
Phasmatodea - Oct 11
Embioptera - Oct 12
Mantodea - Oct 13
Blattodea - Oct 14
Psocodea - Oct 15
Hemiptera - Oct 16
Thysanoptera - Oct 17
Hymenoptera - Oct 18
Strepsiptera - Oct 19
Coleoptera - Oct 20
Raphidioptera - Oct 21
Neuroptera - Oct 22
Megaloptera - Oct 23
Lepidoptera - Oct 24
Trichoptera - Oct 25
Diptera - Oct 26
Mecoptera - Oct 27
Siphonaptera - Oct 28
Insecta Round-up and Mini Stat Post - Nov 4
Actinistia:
Coelacanthiformes - Nov 5
Scyphozoa:
Coronatae - Nov 6
Rhizostomeae - Nov 7
Semaeostomeae - Nov 8
Eutardigrada:
Apochela - Nov 9
Parachela - Nov 10
Final Stat Post - Nov 18(ish)
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They say three’s a crowd…
Synopsis- How Zayne and Caleb would one up each other when all three of you reconnect
tags: headcanon, jealousy; angst, no comfort :’( mostly gn, but some hcs imply an afab+ fem! reader
I don’t know if the LI’s will ever officially interact with each other in-game, but if they did, this is how I’d imagine Caleb and Zayne’s relationship dynamic
I’d imagine they’d make jabs at each other based on time spent vs time lost and sometimes using their own expertise as leverage. They’re both quite decorated in carriers especially being so young. Both try very hard to keep things amicable. They’re alike in many ways, and the feeling of responsibility to care for you is no exception…
- When you’re sad, Zayne would try lending a listening ear but before he can respond, Caleb chimes in with just the right words and inside jokes to make you smile again.
- When you’re getting ready for dinner, Caleb would be in the kitchen preparing your old favourites, then Zayne hovers over advising the best food substitutes as he reminds Caleb of your heart condition.
- When you’re suddenly feeling under the weather, Zayne would have you lay down and go to fetch a blanket, but Caleb steps, pillows and a blanket in hand explaining that you always need 3 pillows and a fuzzy blanket to help you fall asleep on sick days. He follows up with turning on the TV and choosing your two’s favourite comfort movie.
- On an afternoon stroll in the park, you’d stop and admire the blue hydrangeas, leading you and Caleb to reminisce about the many summers spent together. Zayne would then passively recall that one summer day all three of you spent at the florist shop and mentions the bushes he has of the same blue hydrangeas in his backyard (did anyone else clock that?!) and invites you to pick your own bouquet on your way back.
- At the start of your picnic, you pull out an apple and excitedly ask Zayne to show you how he peels it in one go. While he does this, Caleb examines the species of apple and goes on about how sweet and thoughtful you were to bring his favourite. He then remembers the exact orchard your class field trip went to when he first tried that specific Asiatic apple, and says he’ll take you there to go apple picking come autumn.
- On snow days, you’d sometimes visit the ski lodge. Caleb being a natural athlete, picks up on it pretty quickly. He hates to see you struggle, so he has the both of you back onto the small slopes. Zayne later passes by holding his and your snowboard, saying something along the lines of “That should be enough training for today. We did come here to have fun, and it would be hard to do that if you’re already sore from just one activity.” He’d then invite you to ride the ski lift to test if you still remember everything “Coach Zayne” taught you.
- During your cycle, Zayne would recommend and demonstrate the best stretches and positions to alleviate cramps, only for Caleb to walk in and insist the stretches he learned were the better alternative. Further explaining that he learned them from his fem colleagues during training for the Farspace Fleet.
- On one night with a vivid sky illuminated by the full moon and bright stars, the three of you lay on the grass searching for constellations. Caleb would share memories of the first time you two saw Orion’s Belt under the glass ceiling in grandma’s attic. Zayne stretches his arm out to you and suddenly feels the cool jade pendant he carved and begins to recall how beautiful the moon was the night he gave it to you. He then says a full moon is another one of the many things that remind him of you.
A/N: I often thought abt Zayne while completing Caleb’s story. I wondered if Caleb felt jealous at all when Zayne and MC reunited, and it led me to think about how all three of their relationships might have changed now that they’re adults. It actually hurt writing this bc they both deserve the kind of love they have with MC :(
***If anyone who actually writes, decides to make a real fic from this pls tag me so I can read it! I’m not a writer, so I’m limited to little blurbs like these
Dividers
Artwork
#I’m posting this again bc Ik I’m RIGHT 😤#let me cook!!!#thinking out loud#my headcanons#love and deepspace#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#zayne angst#zayne x reader#zayne x mc#lads caleb#caleb love and deepspace#caleb x reader#caleb x mc#caleb angst#loveanddeepspace#lnds
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Oooh! Could we see a letter from Teia to Lucanis, giving him relationship advice now that he and (any)Rook are together?
I just think that could be funny, because Lucanis would be mortified, but also taking notes 😂.
Here we go again, the Antivan Postal Service delivers its second letter today. Hope you like it and hopefully I was able to make it different enough from the first one to not be redundant. I decided to make this the follow-up letter to the first one posted earlier today, so there is Lucanis' answer mentioned.
If anyone feels inspired to write the missing letter from him to Teia - be my guest and drop it into the letterbox.
Transcript:
Lucanis,
I was delighted to read that you took the chance to invite Rook for a picnic from that food crate I sent along with my last letter. But excuse me, you had that picnic WHERE? On top of the lighthouse? We really need to set up a visit, this sounds unbelievable. And romantic, dare I say. You seem to do good with that blooming connection to our dear Rook. Maybe you discovered that infamous Dellamorte charme, which your Cousin clearly has over-cultivated and in abundance
Speaking of Illario. Maybe Viago IS a miracle worker after all - even though he denies it. But your cousin is doing quite alright, given the circumstances. Of course, he does not work contracts at this point and is stuck with paper work of no greater significance. But at least it keeps him busy and inside the offices in the Diamond’s belly instead of having him mingling at the casino or - even worse - anywhere else in Treviso.
Of course, he complains. And to an extent I do even understand him - it’s boring and repetitive. Then I look back at what he has done to you, to Caterina and to all of us Crows. If it had been me back then, I would not have had it in me to pardon him. Now after some time has passed, and I found enough calm to think about it, I guess I start to understand, why you and Rook decided how you did - and even if I still despise him and his actions, I will defend your decision and to an extend him, too. But he better not try his luck on that too much!
Now back to more pleasant topics: Tell me about Rook and yourself! You know I’m dying of curiosity and if curiosity kills the cat, I’m ready to hear everything - or die. I already told you, that picnic you mentioned was a brilliant idea. And the catering… outstanding!
You two have so much on your shoulders. The whole team has. But especially Rook. Make sure she gets enough sleep, eats well and make her smile a lot!
I know, you are a gift giver - do I have to mention the ‘Dagger Incident’? I’m sure, by now, you have reflected in depth about the significance of communication along your gifts.
And even though Rook may be a lover of a good blade, just like every Crow - you might consider finding something more… delicate. Less job related. If you can’t come up with anything at some point, flowers are fine but get redundant pretty fast. See them as a last resort. Jewelry seems to be a safe bank, but I recommend not pulling out the real big ones too soon. A pretty brooch, or a hair pin. This kind of stuff. And wait with the gold and diamonds. Silver and colorful gemstones are pretty, too. And less… let me call it pompous. I know you could literally buy the whole world for her, and sometimes you might feel you want to actually do it. Just. Don’t. We both know her well enough that this is not what she wants or needs. Lucanis, dear, I know you are always doing your best and given the person I know you are, do never worry. Rook knows what she wants, and she has a pretty good taste, too. Let me know if you need anything, Treviso is just an eluvian away. Always yours -Teia
#teia cantori#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#dragon age the veilguard#Antivan Postal Service#Letters for the Crows#Letters from the Crows#datv#dav
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Here are some more fic recs!!!
New Phone Who- Oh Shit..! - Life_Caretaker
Okay ngl I haven’t read the last chapter yet BUT it I remember this fic being absolutely hilarious basically Tim answers the phone and they other person is trying to get into contact with red hood obviously wrong number but Tim just goes with it pretending to be the secretary
Words: 14,327 Chapters: 4/4
Flame Test - heartslogos
Okay I know some people might not be a fan of this pairing but I like this fic so shhh plus if you don’t like don’t read anyway coffee shop au, no vigilantes, or hero’s and it’s a Roy/Tim fic unique I know lolol but it’s actually so cute Tim being a huge nerd but in a smart way not the nerdy trope way and Bruce being a good dad and Jason, Dick, and Damian being good but annoying brothers it’s great
Words: 5,194 Chapters: 1/1
Note: okay that’s all for tonight I’m totally exhausted I honestly was thinking about not posting tonight cause I knew I’d have to dig again for fics cause I don’t have them organized at all so I think this weekend I’ll try organizing them cause I don’t want to have to dig for fics for over an hour just to only find two cause I’ve read many fics of course but I only really wanna recommend ones I thought were really good not just ‘meh’ fics (not to dis anyone’s writing at all I know writing is so majorly difficult and props to anyone who does write I’m just talking about fics where I like the writing style, what it was about, and how they wrote the characters and that’s just really off the top of my head anyways) so this weekend I’m gonna try to sort through all my bookmarks and any fics I’ve screenshotted and I’m also planing on going through my history to sort through what fics I remember and organize by fandom, and then make a whole other category for fics I don’t remember anyways I’m sure most of ya’ll didn’t want all that info but oh well that’s what you get lolol anyways sorry for the rambling I hope you have a good day/night and enjoy!!!! <3
(Also yet again sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes English is a stupid language and I’m way too tired rn)
#batman#batboys#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#jason todd#tim drake#batfam#damian wayne#dick grayson#roy harper#ao3 fic recs#ao3#ao3 fanfic#idk what else to tag#I’m so exhausted I’m sorry if this post doesn’t make sense ;-;
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I haven’t. I’ve heard of Cheery, and was thinking of looking into those, but I was a little worried that maybe it would read to me like “if a dwarf wants to wear dresses or look pretty, said dwarf has to be a girl to do it,” and it didn’t sound like from what I heard re the MR recommendation that it would come off as “the genders are preset stories and all you get to do is pick which you get” so I thought it’d be more my speed.
MR kinda still did give me that vibe, though, so I think I might just be at Oh Well here.
I dunno. It seems like Pratchett sometimes likes “you change the story” (witches aren’t wicked, that’s just a thing people say) and sometimes likes “the story changes you” (you have to kiss the Wintersmith; you don’t get to remake the story of the year just because real life is more complex than tales.)
Personally, I’m more partial to “you change the story, though doing it might take chunks out of you. People make stories, and you’re a people, so you’re stronger. As the kind of thing that’s a story maker, you can always force the story into different shapes… if you’re truly determined.”
(The irony here is of course that characters in a novel aren’t the story makers, as they aren’t actually people. But that takes breaking the fourth wall to point out, and a story where the characters realize they can’t escape fate because they’re fictional and an author who isn’t is writing them isn’t anything Pratchett explored I don’t THINK.)
Her father looked at her with a kind of proud puzzlement. “And you think that’s worth it, do you?” “Yes, Dad!” “Then I am proud of you, jiggit; you are doing a man’s job!” He’d used the pet name only the family knew, and so she kissed him politely and did not tell him that he was unlikely to see a man doing the job that she did.
…you know, I can understand very well why this man didn’t like TERFs, but when I see phrasing like this I feel like I also can understand why TERFs might have assumed he did.
Why SHOULDN’T a man look at Granny Aching and decide he wants a folk nursing job, a broomstick that flies or at least that hovers, and a pointy hat, though, Miss Aching?
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Cookie recipe from In Stars and Time! In the manual of the game.
They aren’t very good, they taste like salty bread, a savory chocolate chip muffin. Further thoughts under the cut
Makes about 36, 30 gram cookies.
The sugar wasn’t mixed into the butter, but instead the flour. Weird, made everything harder to mix, but in the end it all combined fine. Wouldn’t recommend making unless you have an electric mixer though!
The batter tasted extremely salty, a teaspoon is a LOT of salt to add to a recipe. It was also bitter almost? I would probably double the sugar and half the salt at least. Sugar also had a huge effect in texture, not just sweetness, which explains the bready texture.
Bottoms were dark before the tops got golden brown, maybe cook at 350 instead?
Cookies kept their shape when baking, looked pretty accurate to the drawing. You could flatten them if you wanted, results in a dryer cookie.
If you ignore the chocolate it tastes and smells like bread, very salty bread
#i don’t recommend making them at all actually#if you made them and actually like it let me know#in stars and time#baking#video game recipe#she speaks#my sibling likes it but it may just be an autism fueled need for in stars and time content
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read the green bone saga this week and i’m just saying. if you want an in-depth political fantasy mafia thriller (yes all of those words apply) set in a post colonial nation that is navigating an unsure global political position and the potential exploitation of its culturally significant resource that simultaneously explores the bonds between family and how they can take different shapes in the wake of loss and love and life, with brilliantly developed, fleshed out characters and realistic pacing (both in world and in the actual delivery of the story). i HIGHLY recommend.
#truly even the characters who do some hateable things are difficult to hate#everyone makes horrible terrible choices but they are all so sympathetic and understandable#i was STRESSED reading these books i tell you#my only comment is i would’ve actually liked to see the last book spread into two books just bc so much happens and i think some of the#characters could’ve used the additional time to be developed and for us to get to know them a little better but ult i have no real complaint#also i wish it was gayer but that’s that#i was really wowed by these books and i read a LOT of fantasy and i don’t like a lot of it so. trust this is a weighty recommendation#fonda lee the woman that you are <3#the green bone saga#jade city#jade war#jade legacy
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What are you hating on lately? Not judging I want to join you
can we kiss on the mouth
#I JEST I JEST my actual answer rn is people who are into our flag means death and good omens are driving me up the wall#i am willing to entertain that either show might be good but the way people talk about them is so goddamn annoying that it has guaranteed#i won’t be watching them anytime soon#all i hear is ‘uwu my gay babies’ this and ‘uwu my gay babies’ that#can we PLEASE start liking things for reasons other than there are gay characters. PLEASE.#some of u genuinely don’t give a fuck about whether or not there’s anything of interest or merit within a work just as long as it’s gay#stop recommending me shit just bc it’s gay#is it also GOOD? did u think of that??#these types of people appear to be the primary fanbase of these two shows#and were also annoying as fuck during the writer’s strike#genuinely makes me ask what year it is#it’s like superwholock in here#splorpo answers
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It’s wild to me that some of you have entire discourse accounts dedicated to shipping hate & over analyzing shipping between the anime, manga, & light novels to the point of making harassment campaigns against the authors/writers of the side stories. Yet y’all don’t send the same hate towards Ikemoto & his highly suspect ass art style with the way he draws some of these kids.
#it’s just a bit telling??#do you lot have no life?#there are clearly bigger issues in the naruto & boruto fandom than shipping wars that have been going on since like 2010#good gods please get over yourselves#naruhina sasusaku narusasu leeten I don’t care!#the konoha 13 are in one giant secret polycule for all I care! boom there’s your solution!#& while we’re at it let’s make Kiba a sensei or a ninja hound class guy rather than a pig!#boom another problem fixed! lmao#Ikemoto & the way he draws these kids is a way more pressing issue than any of your silly shipping wars#if you’re gonna send this off the walls negativity anywhere direct it at the way he draws these children Mikeo Ikemoto is weird as Hell#for the way he draws some of these characters#it’s so hard to recommend boruto & boruto two blue vortex because of this suspect art style#I’m so serious too lmao I really hope studio Pierrot fixes the boruto tbv designs#but who knows how long we’ll be waiting on that#the anime is gonna be on hiatus for a loooooong time with how little room there is for anime-only content in the pacing#* mikio ikemoto my bad I got the spelling wrong & can’t edit tags on the old tumblr mobile#mine#op#naruto#boruto#OBVIOUSLY DONT SEND HATE CAMPAIGNS TOWARDS ANYONE JUST PUTTING AS A LEGAL DISCLAIMER BUT LIKE YKNOW IF YOURE GONNA THROW STONES ANYWAY#might as well throw them somewhere actually useful
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#had to unfollow a pretty popular and usually funny blog on here today#in retrospect I should’ve done it earlier but it sucked to see that post making fun/ hating on sainz’s underbite#leave his jaw alone that’s MY f1 diversity hire lol#no it’s not that serious but I have an underbite more noticeable than his and people made fun of it all the time#don’t do that not recommended#always funny when kids at school would be like ‘uh you know you need braces right?’ like yeah I know that. I need jaw surgery in fact 🧍♀️#but I’m not going to get it I hate going to the dentist for the braces anyways and it’s not like an actual Need need just what’s recommende#I dunno it sucks I should’ve unfollowed when the running ‘joke’ of their blog was calling people ugly#doesn’t help me with my current haircut too I already had super masculine features and now the short hair like I’m not a pretty person#and idc! <3#I've seen people with worse cases than mine like how badly do people treat them it must be truly horrific :/#like my teeth grew in the correct order so it was fixable with braces but there's people whose teeth overlap! and that's fine
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy
#welcome to another episode of Luke is insane abt hockey boy!#this time featuring a guy who is actually this time almost (ALMOST) confirmed to be queer#the almost is partly me being insane because I don’t trust anything anymore#but like. there are only so many reasons you wear pride converse. that is not ally behaviour#it just threw me this time I think bc I’d been like no. heterosexual. bc I think I became aware of him when he joined the real hockey team#because the OTHER problem is that the whole time I’d been thinking he was cute as hell (bc he is) and simultaneously being like no. bad.#anyway this meant that I have actually talked to him a bunch without overthinking it this term which honestly has been very cool#not like a whole lot but we’ve played together a decent amount and hopefully will keep doing that#and yesterday discovered hes recommending other people talk to me abt goalieing which is insane to me bc I am truly not that good#but apparently I made an impression!#anyway it does not help that this guy has gotten incredibly good at hockey in the past few months#idk man I make bad decisions (I say as if this was a decision) bc it is now the end of term once again <3#which means absolutely nothing can or will happen until after summer. which isn’t an issue#I’m just frustrated by my tendency to realise these things right before I’m about to not see the guy for X period of time#I also desperately need to stop crushing on hockey boys I swear but in my defence that is the main way I meet people#I think I’m cursed actually. that would explain many things#anyway he also has exams until next Tuesday which means he’ll be at hockey next week but idk abt this week which is devastating#i just wanna have talk to the guy more honestly to see how that goes bc we’ve not rlly talked individually for an extended time yknow.#in other words we have not had A Conversation it’s been groups or like quicker exchanges#he’s kinda quiet but i can’t quite tell which way yknow. I know he’s Watching basically all the time. and he is slightly awkward#which is also kinda cute. he gets a lil rambly when he talks abt hockey and I wanna push that button more#i. topsy if you’re reading this you’re gonna laugh so hard I just realised. he’s captain of the team now.#which sidenote is INSANE bc he started playing with them THIS YEAR#but oh my god. okay.#anyway. I need to start complimenting guys more for multiple reasons but also#1. he dresses very cool 2. he caught me looking at his shirt last week without saying anything (BEFORE I caught the rainbow converse)#i compliment women on their clothes and jewellery and hair and shit all the time but I do not with men bc. I mean do I need to explain.#but this is so unfair I am haunted by existence of boy and here we are once again. posting on tumblr with the possibility of seeing him lik#two more times before summer. might be three or four depending on what he comes to#luke.txt
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vet school applications have opened and i immediately started freaking out after making my account for them bc the fear of not getting in set in
#also idk if i’m even gonna be ready to do them#bc apparently i need at least 3 letters of recommendation for the vcmas even tho the schools im looking at need max 2#and i don’t even know if im gonna solidly have 2 in time let alone 3#i am actually gonna start seriously considering taking a gap year idk if i can make myself into a good enough candidate for this cycle#i need to call my mom and talk this through#it also might be better to just take a year and get more experience and increase my chances of getting into my top choice#or in at all#i’m actually gonna start spiraling rn#like it’s fine i can take a gap year it literally doesn’t matter#i just wasn’t prepared to not be as prepared as i thought i was ya know
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we’ve been utilizing tubi (free app) to watch childhood favorite shows of ours (also other stuff as well there’s big cat documentaries🤩) but particularly been focused on magic school bus as of recent
wanted to mention it here bc we utilize media as a way to connect with each other and wanted to recommend to other systems out there <3
bonding moments ya know :3
#loveeee ms frizzle so much v glad to be our own version of her in a way hehe#we can make a list of recommendations too#i was gonna say if anyone’s interested BUT i’m interested lmao so list at some point#we’re very selective with shows and movies at this point especially bc Sensitive and i say that lovingly and knowingly lol#also using tags but don’t necessarily resonate with them for a variety of reasons that i’m not gonna go all into in the tags rn lmao#complex dissociative disorder#cdd#pwcdd#did osdd#dissociative identity disorder#pwdid#did system#DID#otherwise specified dissociative disorder#osdd system#pwosdd#dissociative system#actually dissociative#reparenting#inner child work#inner child healing#inner child#inner peeps#CPTSD#actually neglected#actually abused#healing#healing journey#attainable recovery#trauma recovery
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accidents pt. II | Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Summary: during a long case away, Spencer accidentally sees Reader's nudes on her phone and can't cope because he is a MESS for reader whoops pt.II The Reckoning /j, this is basically just 10k words of porn with feelings yikes
Warnings: SMUT MDNI, 18+ only, fem!reader, fluff, some angst (still Spencer feeling he isn't good enough 😔), EMOTIONSSS, Spencer STILL loves you so much, he gets a hug, and so much more!, talk about sex, detailed asking for CONSENT (be safe people), sex (piv), some frottage, uhhh what else, dirty talk, some dom/sub understones (sub!Spencer ofc), little bit allusion to subspace, Spencer discovers so many kinks in this awww we're so proud of you bby (mentioned kinks: praise kink, squint of liking being embarrassed, tiiny bit of a voyeristic thing), also I made him a virgin whoops so virgin!Spencer, proofread but prolly not perfect lol. Tell me if I'm missing any tags I am so tired
(also, Spencer will be bisexual in all of my Spencer fics because I am not a coward like the writers were and I will honour Spencer the way he was intended to)
HERE you can read pt. I, I do recommend it to have context and all but do whatever you want lmao I'm not your mother anyway have fun being completely wrecked like I was while writing this!! also thanks so so MUCH for 400 followers and almost 2k likes on the first part, you guys are the best and I hope you enjoy this fic as a thanks!!<333
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Spencer’s never sprung from his bed faster in his life before.
His heart is a jackhammer in his chest, chipping away at his ribs one bone splitter at a time because-
It’s you. In front of his door. And Spencer is so hard it hurts but- he can’t just-
“Spencer?”
He sucks in a haggard breath, hands reaching up and messing up his hair even more. His thoughts are everywhere and nowhere at once and he just needs to- needs just a moment to-
“Uh, yeah, just a second!”, he calls back, voice scratchy and used from the- the moaning Jesus Christ because he was about to come with your mental image and he somehow, magically, managed to apparently conjure you up in front of his door with his pathetic pining and oh god-
He has to- ugh- has to wash his hands and make it go away and –
“Okay, I’ll just…chill with that weird plant here.”
An overwhelmed whimper slips past his lips and he just, stands there for at least another five seconds before something in his mind snaps back into place and he rushes to the small, adjacent bathroom of his room.
After he thoroughly washed his hands, his erection has flagged off enough so that it’s not the first thing greeting you when he opens the door and thank god for that.
And oh- seeing you after doing that actually knocks the wind out of his lungs because you are just so goddamn lovely it makes Spencer want to do stupid, stupid things like cry or kiss you or spontaneously combust into a million pieces.
For once, he does something okay-ishly sensible though.
“Hi.”
You look at him, one eyebrow raised in amusement or scepticism, he doesn’t know for sure. Your eyes hold mirthful sparkles in them when he finally manages to meet your gaze, so he settles for the former of the two options.
You’re not wearing your work clothes anymore. Rather, you went for a cozy looking, oversized sweater and funkily patterned leggings. Your fashion sense outside of work always reminded Spencer of Penelope’s.
“Hi to yourself”, you chuckle, “Can I come in or are you too busy reading ten books at once?”
Spencer feels himself flush under your gentle teasing.
“Only seven books. But, yes, of course you can come in.”
He turns out of the way, creating room for you to pass him into his room. As soon as you are inside, you don’t hesitate to jump onto his bed and flop on your back with your arms spread wide.
Spencer’s breath hitches and he has to do some very extensive mental gymnastics to supress all the inappropriate thoughts from escaping the box he banished them into. Controlling his body’s response to seeing you in the same bed he was just jacking off in is… a different story. He pulls down the hem of his shirt as discreetly as possible, as he takes a seat next to you. Making sure that there is not too much distance between you two as to raise any suspicion and make it obvious he’s trying to get some distance between you, but also enough space so that he isn’t enticed to do anything unwise. Like, reach out and feel your warmth underneath his fingers. Or the softness of your skin. Or anything else really.
The more seconds tick by in which neither of you say anything, the more nervous Spencer becomes. He starts fiddling around with his fingers, aborting more than one move to steal a glance at your face to see what you’re thinking.
“Spencer”, you then finally say, voice kind of pout-y and if that didn’t make Spencer whip his head around to face you, the next thing you say for sure does. “Do you hate me?”
“Wha-“, he sputters your name, “No- no! Of course, I don’t- whe- why would you think that?”
You let out an exasperated groan, moving around until you are lying on your side, head propped up on your arm and frowning up at him. “Because you’ve been acting hella weird these last few days and you won’t tell me whyyyy”, you drag out the last syllable, pout on your lips and Spencer has to look up at the ceiling or else he’s just going to confess everything without second thought and that will definitely not happen.
“I haven’t been acting weird, really, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You remain silent again and Spencer feels the judging glare you send his way without having to look at you. Yes, he has been acting weird, he knows that, but you can never ever know the reason why tha-
“Is it because you saw my nudes?”
Spencer almost breaks his neck with how fast he whips his head down to look at you again. A strangled noise escapes him without permission and what. What.
“Because, that would actually explain so much, especially the way you’ve been acting and really, that’s probably on me because I’ve always been telling myself to put them behind a password block but I somehow always manage to forget that because apparently I have only one braincell left that’s stuck spinning on the deep-fried version of Funky Town and well, I guess I’m glad it was you that found them and not someone else and-“
“What? No, no, I didn’t- What- that’s not- what-“, Spencer cuts off your rambling with a horrified, screeched version of a protest because how- how could you have guessed what’s going on with just one try? Is Spencer so- so absolutely besotted with you that he’s so obvious? Spencer is so very confused and overwhelmed with whatever the hell is going on, he kind of misses the slight twitching of your mouth.
“Come on, Spencer. I said it’s fine and basically my own fault. Uh- well, actually… sorry. Because, well, that’s probably not very work-appropriate… I will pay for your therapy session, just send me the bill.”
Spencer thought he’d reached the limits of confusion seconds ago but apparently, he hadn’t. What. What are you even saying?
“Therapy sessions?”
You just- ignore him.
“Oh, also, please don’t tell Hotch? He’ll be pissed, despite me literally just doing hot-girl shit, y’know-“
Oh, Spencer cannot take it anymore.
He says your name and, “Stop, please, please, just-“
You snap your mouth shut, pulling your lips between your teeth and Spencer definitely doesn’t miss the way you have to force your mouth to stay still this time.
“Are you- is this a joke?”, Spencer asks, frazzled and desperate and so confused he just wants to bury his head under the duvet and never come out again. Because if you don’t actually know but- are just joking around, oh Spencer is overwhelmed, alright.
Your expression changes into something panicked then. “No, no, Spencer, sorry. I’m- sorry. Of course I’m not joking, I’m so sorry. It’s just a little bit too easy to tease you. Sorry.” You actually look apologetic now, lips downturned and frowning slightly.
“Not joking- so… so, you know?”, there’s something big and anxious pressing inside of Spencer’s chest. The urge to hide away and never face daylight again intensifies tenfold. He’s flushing before he realizes, hands trembling and breathing a bit too fast to be considered normal. Oh god, you know, you actually know, you’re going to- you’re never going to speak with him again you are probably here to tell him how weird and- and-
You must’ve noticed the frenzy he is thinking himself into, because you reach out with one hand and gently nudge his thigh with one knuckle. “Spencer”, you say, voice serious and steady and not the slightest bit disgusted or harsh and it snaps him out of his anxiety spiral.
“I knew the second I walked back into that room after you basically fled the precinct. I am, really, genuinely, sorry for making you uncomfortable. Like, it wasn’t actually my intention for you to see them. And then, after I realized what… I just wanted to wait and see what you’d do, if you came to talk to me or, well…”
You sigh, the hand that nudged him ruffling through your hair.
“I didn’t handle this situation very well. I’m really sorry. So… “, you trail off, scrunching your nose in that adorable way of yours that makes Spencer want to kiss it until it scrunches even further because you’d laugh and try to fight him off.
“We can just- forget about this. Forget that it ever happened, or-“, you hesitate again.
Spencer feels suddenly breathless. Like he stands in front of a cliff face, seconds before taking the step to send himself careening towards something immeasurably great or devastatingly fatal.
“Or…?”, he breathes, voice small and unsure.
You meet his eyes again after what feels like hours. There’s something intense in them, burning, and it’s like an electric shock to Spencer’s system. He’d give anything for you to keep looking at him like that forever.
“Or”, your hand returns to his thigh, but this time you let your fingers travel along the shape of it and Spencer whimpers. The burning in your eyes intensifies and Spencer feels hot, suddenly, so hot he’s burning with it. “Or we can do something else.”
“Something else?”, Spencer basically croaks because his throat is so dry and it’s difficult for his body to function properly when you are touching him like that.
You hum in agreement. “Whatever you want. You can tell m-“
“You.”
You look a bit startled when he cuts you off with that one, desperate syllable. Startled but also endlessly amused and Spencer just- his mind is apparently turned off, what the-
You laugh quietly, and your eyes soften, and it does something to Spencer that leaves an ach-y feeling in his chest. Oh, he loves you so much he can’t take it.
“Sure. You can have me”, you say simply, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world for you to admit, “Tell me what exactly you want, because I’d give you the world if you asked.”
And suddenly there’s hot pressure behind Spencer’s eyes, at the back of his throat. You’re just- just- amazing and so lovely and so kind to him, no one has ever said something like that to him, he doesn’t know how to handle it.
Spencer blinks up to the ceiling, desperately willing these stupid unwelcome tears away because crying about you treating him kindly is so on the bottom of the list of acting casual about this, so he rather feels than sees you sitting up next to him. Your hand slips from his legs and he feels the loss of your touch as if someone sucked the marrow from his bones. Before he can say something embarrassing like ‘please touch me again’ he feels your hand covering his. It fills him with a heady kind of courage.
“I want…”, Spencer starts, feeling entirely too uncomfortable with having to state his deepest and darkest desires. There’s the old familiar urge to start picking at his nails nagging at him, but you just interlace your fingers with his and start tracing random patterns into the skin there with your thumb. Spencer melts against you and tenses up at the same time because it’s just so- so nice. It feels so nice and Spencer never thought he’d ever get to have things like that with you but you’re here. You’re here, with him, and basically offering Spencer the entire world on a silver platter but it’s still so so unfathomably difficult just saying what he so badly wants.
“You want…?”, you hum slightly, voice soft and so tender as you continue painting patterns on his skin and Spencer would literally die for you. And that’s the entire problem. Spencer doesn’t know if you’d do the same. Well. Maybe not die die for him but. He can’t just sleep with you, and it not meaning anything to you. It would kill him. It would kill him, if after you give him tenderness and pleasure and acceptance in a way he’s never dreamed of receiving, you would go back to normal. Always politely distanced, close, but never close enough and it already twists his chest just thinking of that possibility.
“I just-“, he tries again, but when the words are stuck in his throat, sticky molten sugar that tastes like bile and fear, he pulls out of your grip and buries his face in his hands. He’s so bad at this. He’s the worst. No wonder he’s never had- had something like Morgan has, one night stand after one night stand (not that he particularly wants that, god no, but just-) because Spencer is just so bad at spilling all of the things that plague his gut and keep his thoughts in overdrive at night. No wonder he’s never even had a girlfriend or boyfriend before.
“Hey, hey, Spencer”, he feels your hands cupping his own, still over his face. Not taking them away, but just – there. “It’s alright, penguin, we can always come back to this another time. I’ll wait.”
Spencer’s face crumples and his breath hitches a little because- penguin. That’s the frankly ridiculous nickname you’ve been using for him ever since he apparently once looked like one, with that white scarf and knee-length black coat he wore during one of your cases where a blizzard surprised not only the team, but also the unsub. Spencer, like most of you, wasn’t prepared and thus, had to make do with what the helpful officers provided them with. And well, Spencer drew the penguin stick it seemed.
It’s ridiculous but sweet and it always makes him feel so loved, loved by you, because it’s adorable and theirs and he just loves it irrationally much, okay? And also, penguins are just really fascinating because-
“Did you know that most penguins live monogamously? The Emperor penguin is actually one of the only ones that mate seasonally, they only have one mate per breeding season. But most others have a mate for life, like, like swans and bald eagles.”
Before Spencer even opened his mouth, he was aware of the fact he was going to ramble on about some unimportant stuff. It’s always like this, it always feels like a breath he’s been holding in for too long, like an itch somewhere in his weird brain that only stops when he opens his mouth and infodumps and he cannot stop it. No matter how consciously he is telling himself to cut it out or screaming at himself to shut the fuck up you weirdo, it’s unavoidable. As soon as his brain latches onto a statistic or a fact it is reminded of, it’s an unstoppable force.
Like now. He is kicking himself. Why, oh why can’t he ever be normal? He feels himself flushing bright red from embarrassment and shame and frustration. He can’t believe he is rambling about birds while- while whatever the hell you two are doing right now. While in the middle of a conversation that started out with you confronting him about him seeing your nudes, jesus christ.
Spencer is about to suffocate himself with a pillow when you let out a graceless snort.
It confuses Spencer so much he lowers his hands to look at you and- oh.
Your eyes are shining with something that looks so close to what he would call affection, and it makes him want to bawl his eyes out and at the same time, smile so hard there’ll be laugh lines on his cheeks for the rest of the week.
“Well, that fits perfectly then”, you say, and Spencer doesn’t understand.
“What do you mean?”
You smile just a little wider, a little more teasingly but in a nice way, in a kind way and it leaves Spencer’s chest blooming with warmth.
“If you’re my penguin, I’ll be your penguin.”
Youryouryouryouryour-
Spencer feels entirely braindead. Only the fact that you called him yours registers. Because yes. Yes. Spencer is so yours he’d gladly let you make every decision for him from now on in his life and yes. That’s not exactly a very normal thing to think. Or to want. Spencer doesn’t care. He’s never felt normal about you for a day in his life and he definitely won’t start now.
“You- you mean- like, as, as mates?”
You scrunch your nose in disgust. “If you want to call us that, I think I’ll take back my offer.”
It punches a giggle out of Spencer, sudden and kind of light-headed. He watches your face break into a wide grin.
“But you- you’d like that?” You’d like me?
You pull a face, sniffing in a nonchalant way, direct your face to your nails in fake disinterest.
“Sure. Whatever.”
And Spencer can’t help himself. He sobs out a laugh- laughs out a sob or, whatever that weird noise he makes is, because you’re so ridiculous and he loves you more than anything in the world.
You roll your eyes, fondly, shake your head slightly.
“Of course, Spencer. I’d like that very much because I like you a very unnormal amount. Literally. On my knees, crying, screaming etcetera”, you say just like that, smiling just like that.
Spencer feels like he’s dreaming. He must be. There’s no other explanation for it. He just can’t wrap his head around the fact that you could like him. You. You’re so, so lovely and amazing and you deserve everything good in this world and Spencer is just. Spencer.
“You- you like me? Me?”, Spencer can’t hide the incredulous tone that seeps into his questions because you like him?
There’s no traces of humour in your eyes anymore. Your eyes look painfully honest, face suddenly serious, and it steals Spencer’s breath away.
You lean closer to him again, grabbing his hands with yours. Your gaze bores itself into his, intense and steady and he can’t look away. “Spencer. I know it’s- I know life has been hard on you for way too long. And that leaves its marks on you. That’s fine. It’s human. But. You do not deserve any less love because of that, do you understand me? Of course I like you, what isn’t there to like? You’re kind and funny and sweet and just so- Spencer. You’re so lovable and it kills me to know that you don’t see how you are so worthy of being loved.”
Oh.
Oh.
You can’t just- can’t just say things like that and expect him to not cry a little. Can’t expect him to act completely nonchalant and cool about all of this when you say things like that to him. Are you trying to kill him? Because it sure does feel like that.
Spencer is so completely at a loss. He doesn’t know what to say to that- not to mention what to do. How do you always do this? How can you see straight to the hidden, bruised core of him, littered with all these ugly and bad things and. Just. Figure out what to say to strike him exactly there.
It should scare him, being known so deeply. It should, but it doesn’t because it’s you. You are warmth and acceptance like his favourite place in front of a fireplace, book in hand and rain gently knocking against windows. You are quiet mornings at work, you are soft rays of sunlight in his hair, you are gentle hands helping you up when you fall and bruise your knees. You are –
A touch to his cheek startles him. He opens his eyes – when did he close them? – to your fingers brushing some stray tears away, so softly as if he’s something precious, something to be held delicately. That thought sends new tears spilling down his cheek. He can’t believe this is affecting him so much, so completely he simultaneously feels like he is going to shatter and be stitched back together again.
He never knew he needed this so much.
“Sorry for making you cry, penguin. I didn’t think this discussion about my lack of nude etiquette would get this emotionally damaging”, you say, voice hushed in the big silence of the room, a small smile on your lips and eyes so kind.
Spencer snorts, despite himself. This has really been a very bizarre evening. He feels almost drunk on the weirdness of it all, on the rollercoaster that his emotions have ridden all evening. That’s probably why he does what he does next.
“Neither did I, especially after you interrupted me while I wa-“
Spencer shuts his mouth so fast he clicks his teeth together, eyes wide and suddenly horrified. He- what-
Why?
Why can’t Spencer ever keep his big mouth shut? Is he completely and utterly insane?
There’re alarm bells going off somewhere in Spencer’s head and a concerning warmth settling deep in his stomach when your grin takes on a slightly devilish edge, one he knows all too well and. And. Oh. He’s in trouble. So much trouble. Why did he have to say that?
“After I interrupted you while?”, you prompt him, eyes electric and hot and oh god-
Spencer is so dumb. An idiot. Of the highest order. High IQ, where?
“Nothing”, he says, voice high-pitched and rushed and he curses himself and his ability to act everything else but nonchalant. He’d be the worst actor of all time.
“Spencer.”
The tone of your voice rearranges something in his neurons. He can feel himself sit up just that little bit straighter, can feel his mind buzz at the edges. He’s never felt like this before.
He loves it.
“Hmm?”, is all he gets out. Trouble, so much trouble.
Suddenly you’re standing up, away from him and Spencer wants to whine because you should stay there next to him, forever fixed to his side. He doesn’t have to despair long, because you take one of your knees and gently nudge his legs apart with it and okay. Okay. That definitely didn’t just send Spencer’s mind reeling. That wasn’t just totally the hottest thing that ever happened to him.
You slot yourself between his legs as if you own that space and. In his humble opinion, you do. You so do. Spencer is willing to give you a map of his entire body and a marker and tell you to please demarcate every part of him you want. He’d give it to you, no questions asked.
He is looking up at you, at your burning eyes that still hold something so soft in them that makes the lump in his throat bigger again. And by god, Spencer just needs to hear you say it again-
“You like me?”
You move closer to him, lifting one hand and placing it underneath his chin. Your thumb traces along his jaw and Spencer feels like he is going to burst into a million embarrassed pieces.
“Yes”, you say simply, but the way you say it. Spencer can’t help but shiver and exhale shakily. He feels so warm, everywhere. His skin burns where your fingers are touching him. He never wants this to stop.
“You- You want me?”
Your hand grips his face a little stronger, your other fingers splaying over and down his throat and there’s a high noise coming from somewhere and there’s goosebumps on his body everywhere and oh, wait- it’s him. The noise. Well, how embarrassing but. He doesn’t care. Nope. Not at all.
…Okay maybe a little. His face feels warm, suddenly, warmer than the rest of him and yes. He’s blushing, okay?
“Spencer”, the way you say his name it- god, “I want you. I said it before, but. I will give you anything. Tell me what you want, Spencer, and you will get it from me.”
Your eyes are so dark and your voice so low and Spencer actually whines and. He’s hard again, so hard, because he didn’t come before and now, he’s even more pent-up and his thoughts are a mess, but you haven’t even touched him more than this and he’s already so worked up from you just saying these things to him-
“I want you”, Spencer pants, currently finding no other English words in the dictionary of his mind. And well. Emily was right about him. IQ slashed to zero when pretty person do thing.
He watches you take a deep breath, as if to steady yourself, as if this whole thing is affecting you as much as it affects him but that’s- ridiculous. Impossible. Because. Have you seen yourself?
“I know that, Spencer. But what do you want from me? Do you want me to kiss you?”, you ask, face suddenly so close to his Spencer feels your breath fan over his skin, and he whimpers because yes he wants that wants that- “Do you want me to touch you more?”, your other hand grabs his side, gentle but just a little bit roughly and Spencer is suddenly vividly reminded of the fact how strong you are and he feels kind of lightheaded-
“Do you want me to fuck you, Spencer?”
Spencer is going to pass out. And die. And moan and say, “Please yes yes yes”. Maybe not in that particular order.
“Okay, angel, anything you want”, you say, smiling softly at him as if he’s the best thing in the world and angel. Angel. Angel.
Before he’s even started to process you calling him angel, he sees a glint in your eyes, that edge in your smile again and before he knows what’s happening, you’re kissing him.
You’re kissing him and it’s- everything.
Your mouth is soft against his, and Spencer’s insides twist and flutter and his brain is kind of lagging behind, but he wants to be closerclosercloser-
It’s so good Spencer completely blanks on everything. There’s nothing in his mind except the feel of your lips moving against his. There’s no insecurity, no embarrassment tainting this moment even though this is literally like, only the sixth kiss or so of Spencer’s life and he has no idea what he is doing. But it’s so good.
A noise somewhere between a moan and a whimper escapes him when you lick into his mouth and Spencer’s soul almost leaves his body. He feels you shudder where you are pressed together, chest to chest.
“Spencer, Spencer”, you breathe against his lips, in between wet, hot, kisses. You rub your nose against his, eyes closed.
“Hmm?”, he hums, his voice somewhere in Canada or wherever. His mouth is too busy smiling so wide it hurts, anyways. No time for articulating anything.
“You’re amazing, Spencer, amazing.”
And he wants to shake his head, no, because the only one amazing here is you. But it’s impossible to disagree with you when your mouth has returned to his in a way that is probably ruining him for anyone else. (He’s okay with that.)
You peck him on the lips once, twice more, before you press your lips against his jaw, exactly where you had your fingers before. Your hands are basically the only thing holding Spencer up in a sitting position, because he feels like molten chocolate in your hands. Muscles apparently forgetting to do their job and well. Who can blame them? Spencer has stopped thinking in proper sentences the moment you had walked into his life, so. Only a matter of time until you broke the rest of him as well.
You kiss his neck and Spencer gasps. It’s really been a hot minute - three years, one hundred, twenty-one days and twenty hours to be exact – the last time he made out with someone. Everything feels heightened on his heated skin, especially you opening your mouth against him and licking him oh god-
It almost feels like a reward when you gently bite at his skin next. Spencer almost screams.
“So good, so so good for me”, he hears you whisper into the skin of his neck and this time, Spencer does make a noise. Because yes. He wants that. Be good for you. That’s the only thing in his fuzzy mind that feels clear, that feels graspable.
He can see your pupils dilate. Can see the wicked lilt to your lips. “You like being good for me, don’t you, angel?”
ANGEL. Spencer is nodding his head before he knows he does so. “Yes, yes.”
“Fuck”, he hears you breathe against him and it’s strange, seeing the effect he has on you. Did really he do that? “I can’t believe how incredible you are, sweetheart.”
And you need to stop. If you keep calling Spencer these things- he’s pretty sure he won’t survive this. The team would need to find another genius to solve cases with. His cactus Greg would dry out and wilt and die. You and Penelope would need to find another victim to send confusing memes to.
“Did you like my pictures, Spencer?”, you then ask and that’s so not fair. You can’t just ask him that while he’s so utterly in your hands that he’s sure he’d tell you about every little fantasy he’s had about you ever if you asked.
Because Spencer wants to be good, feels that need so deeply in his bones, he nods frantically. “Yes, I- I liked them.”
At the same time the words leave his mouth, something feels wrong. There’s an ugly thing twisting in his stomach, so unpleasant it momentarily occludes the high-octane bliss-fuzz fogging up his mind.
You notice the shift in mood almost immediately. “What’s wrong, angel?”
And well. It’s just- that guilt. Of not saying anything to you about Spencer seeing your nudes, of just ogling you like that without your permission. That wasn’t very good of him. Actually, the opposite. He’s been bad and he hates that. Hates that so severely that there’s suddenly tears on his cheeks and oh no. That’s mortifying. Who cries before sex? Jesus Christ he’s such a virgin it is genuinely embarrassing.
“I’m- I’m sorry”, he stutters, a little bit hysterical, creating distance between you, arms slung around himself, “I should’ve, should’ve said something, I’m so so sorry, I’m the worst friend and now I’m- I’m crying, oh god, I’m so sorry-“
“Hey, hey hey whoa. Spencer, darling. Penguin. Look at me, please?”
But he shakes his head. He doesn’t deserve to look at you again. What was he even thinking? He was- so creepy and now- now-
Two warm hands grab his face and then Spencer is looking into your eyes again. He squeezes his own shut, but all that it does is send more tears spilling over his cheeks and he’s so fucking stupid-
“Baby, please.”
Spencer sobs.
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. That’s the best thing he has ever heard but he doesn’t deserve these things.
“Of course you deserve it, silly goose”, you say and oh. He’s said that out loud.
Your thumbs brush over his cheeks and Spencer can’t not lean into your touch, despite everything. Because that’s just the way it always is. He’s drawn to your warmth and tenderness like a moon revolves around its planet.
“I thought we’d established that it was an accident? And if it was someone’s fault, then mine, because no password, remember?”
Spencer opens his eyes. The deep affection swimming in yours makes him sob again. He’s a mess. A crying, horny mess and Spencer definitely fucked this up. Why does Spencer always ruin the few good things in his life?
“Spencer, Spencer. Hey. It’s okay, I promise you. We wouldn’t be doing this, if it wasn’t, okay?”, you kiss his nose. “Do you want to lay down, maybe?”
He nods, not really thinking clearly. He moves up the bed, under the covers and curls up on his side. He waits for you to get up from the bed, for you to walk over to the door and leave. To say that this was a mistake, he was a mistake. To say that you take back everything you said to him in the last half hour.
He’s not just a little surprised to feel your weight dip the mattress, to feel even more sudden warmth engulf him when you spoon him from behind. You start tracing swirly patterns over the skin of his arm and he feels goosebumps spread all over his body.
Some minutes tick by, you still holding him, when his tears have finally dried up. He doesn’t remember crying so much in one day. Spencer feels miserable.
“Do you still like me?”, he asks, and yes, it’s pathetic and stupid but. He doesn’t care if you never have sex or if you’re not going to be more than his friend now. Because the thought of you not being in his life in any capacity anymore- just no.
He can feel you freeze and take in a sharp breath. “Wha- Spencer. Of course, I still like you. I don’t care what we do, I just want to be with you. In any way you’ll have me.”
You sound so understanding and sincere and actually confused about his fear as if you’d never even think of not liking him anymore and and and-
And something in him just- snaps. He wants you, needs you so much he’s going to die if he doesn’t-
He shuffles and turns in your arms until he’s face to face with you. You look at him, eyebrow raised in question but so beautiful and lovely and you still like him-
“I want you so bad”, he says and then he presses his lips against yours again.
You respond immediately, low moan escaping you and Spencer is greedy, he wants to hear more, feel more, feel everything with you.
He’s kissing you as if he’s going to die if he ever stopped, which, yes, he absolutely would, and you kiss him back as if you can’t live without him. It makes everything become hazy again, like before, and every bad feeling suddenly feels eons away. Like he’s underwater, floaty and relaxed. Safe, he feels safe in the way you kiss him and hold him. Like you always do.
You move your kisses to his neck, sucking and biting and Spencer is moaning and moaning and can’t stop and then suddenly, you’re gone, what –
“Spencer, Spencer, wait”, you pant, out of breath and flushed and he wants to cry again, “Sorry, sorry I just-“
You frame his face in your hands, a little bit roughly. “I’m so sorry for making this so hard, you’re being so good for me, but Spencer. Have you done this before?”
Somewhere in the fog that is his minds, Spencer finds his voice. It’s high and airy but he doesn’t care. “No, no, I haven’t.”
He watches you take a deep breath, feels your fingers digging into his skin a little bit more.
“Tell me. Do you want this, Spencer?”, your voice is shaking as if you need to keep yourself in check and Spencer can’t believe he’s getting to see you like this.
“Yes”, he says because he can’t ever want anything else, and, “Please make me feel good.”
You inhale sharply, your grip on his face bordering on painful. “Spencer, you’re incredible, amazing, the best- I’ll make you feel good, okay? I’ll make you feel so good because you deserve it.”
“Yes”, Spencer is not ashamed of how whiny he sounds. No. He’s owning it now. This is his thing now, okay? He’ll gladly be your pathetic wet cat, or whatever the term was that you sometimes use to describe him with. Whatever it even means.
“Good”, you grin, and then you push on his shoulder hard and he’s on his back. And you. Sitting on top of him, thighs on either side of him. Straddling him exactly where he wants you most and he exhales a needy ‘ah’. His hypothesis of liking being manhandled is… yet to be disproven. He’s discovering so many things about himself today.
Pleasure radiates in waves from where you’re passively giving pressure to his hard cock and yeah okay. This is good. Amazing. He’s never felt better. But-
“Please.”
“Please what, angel?”
“More?”
“More what?”
Your fingers trailing along his throat and jaw, down his chest and teasing ghost-like over his nipples are not really helpful in finding the right words to what he wants. You take pity on him.
“More touch?”
Spencer nods his head, so fast he almost gets dizzy because he’s at that point again where everything feels liquid, hazy, a little bit unreal. So, speaking is already quite the task.
You smile at him as if he just solved the most difficult equation. “Doing so good, Spencer. Incredible.”
He moans. Okay. Another hypothesis to add to his ever-growing list of scientific discoveries today.
“Where do you want touch, Spencer? Here?”, there’s hands in his hair. He shakes his head.
“Hmm… Here?”, fingers drawing circles on his chest and yes, that feels nice, so nice but he wants-
“Here?”, you ground your hips down and jesus-
“Yes!”, Spencer almost chokes on the sound. Pleasure shoots up his spine and he whimpers. “Please.”
You exhale shakily, looking flush. “Okay. Because you ask so nicely.” There’re two little taps on his lower stomach through his shirt. “Do you want to take this off first? Or no?”
The way you give him the chance to say no- the way you respect his autonomy so deeply-
It’s basic human decency, yes, but it’s also the hottest thing and Spencer feels so valued and understood and safe that he’s not even hesitating when he mutters a quiet yes.
You help him sit up because he’s currently not really heir over his body like he usually is. Help his head out of the shirt and thread his arms out. And then, he’s half naked in front of you and suddenly, the doubt and insecurity that’ve been so quiet so far are back with a vengeance.
The urge to cover himself is so big it’s impossible to stop his arms from wrapping around himself.
Spencer knows he’s not ugly. He’s not that bad looking actually. Can’t be too bad if Morgan keeps insisting on calling him pretty boy, even though Spencer sometimes still has the sneaking suspicion that he’s teasing him. But his friend wouldn’t be so cruel.
But other people like to be. Pipe-cleaner, leek, straw, big-eyes. He’s heard it all before. He has matured enough and grown into himself so that these things don’t bother him like they used to. But still. Still. These things are arduous to scrub from under his skin.
Your gaze on him though- he’s never felt so, cleaned from all of these mean words before. You look- you look reverent while mapping his skin and maybe that’s the reason why he lowers his arms again.
“Spencer. You’re a dream”, you say, almost in trance. Almost as if you’re hypnotized by him, and he’s flushing. But. Being watched so intently, being admired like that. He feels his dick give an indigent twitch against your clothed core. Another thing for the list.
“So impatient”, you tut and Spencer flushes more. He thinks he’s waited long enough for this. But he doesn’t say that. If you stopped now- he would definitely combust spontaneously.
You lean down, over him. Hands trailing along his sides like you did earlier, but without any clothes between your skin and his. It’s almost too much. And not enough. He feels electrified, where you touch him. His heart is hammering against his ribs so hard you must be able to feel it. His stomach is in knots, fluttery. He’s never felt more alive.
You connect your lips to his throat, placing kiss after kiss along the arched length of it. Follow the same path with your tongue and Spencer whines, curves up against you a little. Everything feels so good Spencer is floating in it.
You shift your attention to his collarbones next, kissing but then gently biting and Spencer feels the indents of your teeth all the way through to his back and he hopes, wants, you to sink them into him so deep they’ll leave marks. So that he carries the evidence of this with him for the rest of this case, so that there’s absolutely no more doubt to who he belongs to. That thought alone makes him whimper, makes him feel that tiny little bit more lost in you.
You start kissing along his chest, down his stomach. Open mouthed, wet kisses and Spencer shivers when the places you put them feel cold after because of your spit. The lower you get, the noisier he becomes and at one point, Spencer would’ve been embarrassed. Well, he kind of is, but he’s also so turned on that the embarrassment doesn’t feel as stifling like usual. Rather, in a weird way, it makes everything hotter, and he does not own enough brain capacity right now to decipher that. But he does add it to the list.
When your face is dangerously close to the waistband of his pyjama, Spencer tenses, holds his breath. Being shirtless is one thing, but… well.
“It’s okay, Spencer. We only do as much as you feel comfortable with”, you murmur, giving a small peck to the left of his belly button. You calmingly follow his sides with your hands, smiling at him with so much affection in your eyes that Spencer feels speechless, breathless, until the tension releases his muscles again and he melts into the sheets.
“’m just…”, he tries, he really tries so hard to tell you that he wants this more than anything he’s ever wanted but that he just feels… insecure.
You kiss his stomach again. “How about we only take off the pyjama? For now? If you want to take off your underwear too later, we can still do that.”
That… that’s actually a good idea. So, he nods.
“Words, angel.”
“Yes, yes. That’s- good.”
You look so proud of him. “You’re so good, Spencer. Perfect.”
He moans embarrassingly loud. He really should be more concerned about this. About how you are basically pulling him apart, thread by thread and he just lets you, willingly. How you know which threads to pull to reduce him to a sweaty mess in what felt like 0.2 seconds.
There’s a finger dipping beneath the waistband, moving back and forth along the newly exposed skin. Your eyes watch him intently, almost predator-like. A question is in there somewhere as well and Spencer nods again.
You help him lift his hips, help him pull down the pants. Spencer is kind of busy kicking his legs a little to shake them off completely but when he looks back and down himself to where you are hyper-focused on the outline of his cock through the thin fabric he blushes.
Even more when he notices the big, dark blue splotch in front of his underwear. That’s definitely never happened before. How embarrassing.
When you look up at him again, you’re also flushed. Eyes dark, wide, voice kind of unsteady. “Spencer, Spencer, can I?”
“Please”, and then you palm him with your hand, and it feels so good it takes all of his concentration to not come on the spot. He doesn’t know if he’ll survive this until you arrive to the main thing.
It’s not the first time someone has touched him like that, but it is the first time you are doing it, and it already feels better than anything he’s ever felt before. You’re either a wizard or Spencer is just biased because he thinks everything you do is ten times better than the same thing done by someone else.
Probably the first reason.
He has his head angled back, one of his arms thrown over his eyes. If he looked at you now, he’s pretty sure, he’d come. Visual stimulation on top of physical would probably be the end of him. It’s already too much, just feeling your hand move up and down his dick in various pressures. Almost as if you are testing what he likes best, and Spencer is definitely here for it. Definitely. He’s happy to just let you experiment with him until you know all the different ways to drive him mad with pleasure with just a few moves.
Which, you apparently already figured out, judging by the way Spencer can’t form a single coherent thought anymore. It’s already, so good, so freaking good holy shit, and you’re still not touching him. Still a layer of fabric between your hand and him and he kind of- just-
“Take it off?”
You still your hand, looking up at him. You look kind of crazed, almost a little pained. It takes two deep breaths for you to process what he just asked, eyes a little unfocused before they fix Spencer to the bed with an intensity that makes him feel unfocused. “You sure, angel?”
Spencer literally can’t do anything but nod. You stay in your position for some moments longer, before you sigh out a long breath, mumbling something that suspiciously resembles you’re gonna be the death of me. Spencer misses your warmth on top of him the second you hoist yourself up. It’s kind of crazy and destitute of him. You are literally right there but he’s waited for this for so long it feels like he’s suffocating without your weight pressing him down. Which is ironic and also, insane.
Your fingers are gentle, when they move under the stretchy fabric of his underwear. Even gentler when they pull down and down and down until Spencer is entirely naked in front of you.
Oh, he feels so exposed. While he has been the recipient of a mediocre hand job before, it’s been in his trousers. This is kind of the first time someone sees him naked like that, because school locker rooms and his mother don’t count.
He doesn’t dare look at you. If there’s anything akin to disappointment, not to mention disgust on your face- Spencer probably would have to jump out the window, stat. His gaze is frozen on his cock, steadily leaking precum on his stomach (which, embarrassing). He’s abashedly trying to insert himself into your point of view, tries to imagine what you think about seeing him like this. What you might think about his dick, if it’s too short or too thin or if it looks weird, if he should’ve shaved. If his legs look strange and too gangly now, or if his stomach connects to his pubic area wrong or-
“Holy shit”, you say, and Spencer is too curious for his own damn good sometimes, because he can’t force his gaze to stay away from you.
You look at him- like before. Reverent but more, so much more. He almost feels like a deity, the way you look at him. Someone to be awed by, someone that should be worshipped. Spencer feels his already in overdrive heartbeat quicken even more, blood flushing his cheeks so much it leaks down his throat, to his chest.
Spencer would literally kill to have you look at him like this for the rest of his life.
“Holy shit, Spencer”, you repeat, eyes now meeting his, “You’re like- a literal fucking dream. I cannot believe- you’re so beautiful, how are you so beautiful everywhere?”
Spencer whimpers and he needs you to touch him kiss him fuck him anything please now or he will absolutely die from heart palpitations.
Some of his despairing thoughts must’ve come through to you, because the next thing you do is moan, which is the best thing he’s ever heard. Then, you take off your sweater. Second to go is your cropped tank top and you aren’t wearing a bra and good heavens.
Pictures could never compare. Not even Botticelli could’ve adequately committed you to canvas.
Spencer must’ve taken some brain damage from seeing you half naked. He doesn’t remember you taking off the remainder of your clothes, nor does he remember you straddling him again. But, fuck.
Spencer kind of doesn’t use the f-word that often but-
fuckfuckfuckufuckfkcufuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckcufkc-
You’re warm against him, and wet, so freaking wet, and it feels so mind-blowingly good- it’s a miracle he’s still holding on. But-
“Won’t last long”, he gets out, breathy and whiny and just so goddamn fuzzy from pleasure. The world could literally perish right now, and he wouldn’t care. He can’t care, because this is the best thing that ever happened to him and he won’t ever care about anything else ever again other than feeling you, you you you you, against him.
“Spencer, Spencer”, you breathe, gasp, and fuck, the way you keep using his name. “Are you okay? Do you still want this?”
It’s ridiculous you even ask. But the warmth in his chest, the feeling of comfort and safety and ease – because everything with you is so easy, so natural - he feels with the way you look after him-
He feels your thumbs caressing his wet cheeks. You put small, sweet kisses all over his face. Take the time to brush away some of his sweat-sticky hair from his forehead. Place kisses there too. You end with a drawn out, gentle kiss to his lips.
“What do you say, sweetheart?”
There’s really only one way for him to answer that. He trusts you. Plain and simple. There’s no one else he could ever do this with.
“Yes, I want. Please.”
You kiss him again. “So good Spencer, you’re so fucking good to me. I can’t believe you are trusting me with this. You are incredible, angel.”
Spencer doesn’t know how it’s anatomically possible, but he blushes even harder. Also, feels his cock twitch against you because he apparently likes to be called good almost as much as he likes being good. For you. Only you. Jesus Christ.
“Do you have a condom?”, you ask and ah. Well.
“Suitcase”, and wow. First word with more than one syllable since you straddled him the first time. He’s being so brave right now. He deserves a medal. Proof of Being Able to Speak Polysyllabic Words While Getting Fucked (Almost).
There’s humour glistening in your eyes, when you hide a fake gasp behind your hand and say, “Oh my god, Spencer you dog. Can’t believe you planned this entire thing.”
Spencer almost chokes on his own spit. “N-no! I just- uh, like being prepared.”
You grind down a snort, drive your teeth into your lower lip. “In case you accidentally saw your coworker’s nudes and them being down to fuck you about it?"
Oh my god, you’re the most ridiculous person he’s ever met. He can’t stop himself from grinning because seeing you trying to keep your laughter at bay-
“Yes. That.”
“But what if- what if it was Rossi instead of you seeing them? How would’ve your plan worked out then, huh?”, you wheeze, shaking from literal suppressed laughter and Spencer makes a sound like a dying horse.
“Rossi? Rossi?”
“Oh my god, imagine it would’ve been Hotch. He would’ve probably fired me so hard and then called me a week later to disappointed-dad-talk me to come back but to please, refrain from bringing personal files to work in the future.”
Spencer laughs. He’s still rock-hard underneath you, but he’s laughing because that’s what you always do. Being so absurd and silly that he’s shocked to laughter.
He adores you with every fibre of his being.
“What the fuck?”, you ask, incredulous but laughing yourself, “Is my misery amusing to you?”
And Spencer feels like being a little bit of a brat. “Very.”
You flick his nose. Grumble something like I’ll show you misery and then you move your hips against his and Spencer sees stars. Let’s out an embarrassingly high whine.
Ah well. It was still worth it.
“Don’t move”, you order, when you climb down from him to retrieve a condom. Spencer watches you, lets himself look at you. All the times he’s wondered how it would be, how it would feel like, being in this kind of situation with you. He’s never in a million years thought it would feel so familiar. Like you’ve done this before, so many times that it’s just become something normal between you two. He’s actually relaxed. So turned on it feels like he’s going to burst any second, but he’s calm. He feels comfortable, so much so that it doesn’t even matter that it’s the first time he’s doing this and he’s so clueless about all of this.
But he knows, if it’s with you, he never ever has to worry about anything.
“Do you have lube as well?”, you ask, rifling through his suitcase and distracting him from his sappy thoughts.
“Hmm. No, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, angel”, you say while returning to Spencer, and the nickname kind of switches something off again in his brain. Perfect. He’s never going to be able to be normal again about that word.
“We’ll have to get some, for next time. Always feels better with it.”
Spencer hasn’t really registered more than next time next time next time-
He’s pulled out of his daze of knowing your intentions of this not only being a one-off thing, when you straddle him again, a bit lower on his legs. Spencer moans, loud and high, when you grab him by the base and god, fuck, his skin is tingling with anticipation.
With your other hand, you grab the condom and then use your teeth to open the packet, and his cock jumps in your hand. How are you so hot. How does everything you do turn him on so much, what.
He watches you take out the plastic ring as if he’s watching from above, out of his body. He watches as you position the condom over his tip and then pull it down, down and Spencer’s brain must be lagging because he feels everything with at least a two second delay and shit, god, son of a-
“You ready, baby?”
He makes a noise between a sob and a whine. He’s losing his mind. “Please please please-“
“Fuck, Spencer”, you whine, lift yourself up a bit with your legs and then you are sinking down on him, inch by agonizing inch.
It’s so good, it’s so good, you are so warm, so hot, and Spencer can’t stop making noises until your hips are flush to his and he’s inside you.
You let out a loud, drawn-out moan above him. “Fuck, fuck, Spencer. You feel so fucking good, holy shit.”
He feels like he’s one move away from coming. God, oh god, it feels so incredible.
“Can I move? Spencer, please?”, your voice is wrecked, you’re flushed down to your navel, and you’re the best thing he’s ever seen.
“Please please please please”, it’s the only word he remembers how to pronounce.
“Fuck”, you almost sob, lifting yourself almost completely off him. You lower yourself back down again, one swift move, and you both moan.
You pick up the pace a little, fucking him with still languid but purposeful thrusts. Every time his cock sinks back into you, Spencer feels bits and pieces of his sanity crumbling away. He can’t think, can’t speak, his mind so fogged up and fuzzy he’s having troubles remembering who he is. He’s so completely at your mercy he’d let you do anything to him.
That turns him on a worryingly huge amount. List, something about a list somewhere.
“Oh, god, look at you. Spencer, baby, angel. You feel so good inside of me, so good.”
He keens, grabs at your strong thighs bracketing his slim hips. Arches up into you, closerclosercloser-
“You like being good for me, right angel?”, you ask, hips slowing down to a gentle grinding that absolutely drives Spencer insane and he’s too far gone to even nod, “It suits you. Being so wrecked for me, moaning and shaking. God, fuck, you’re divine, Spencer, fuck.”
The pressure behind his cock, low in his stomach, that’s been building all evening, all week, holy shit, it’s too much. Spencer feels delirious, feels your hotness around him, feels your hands pressing his chest down into the bed. He’s going to die it feels so good.
“You going to come for me, Spencer? You gonna be good for me and come inside of me?”
Please please please please- it’s all he can think, all he can feel, because because-
You give a particularly hard thrust and-
Spencer’s coming, moaning and moaning, shaking everywhere. He’s coming and it feels so good, so fucking good. He’s never come so hard in his life before.
He might have blacked out a little. The next time he’s aware of something, it’s you cleaning him with a wet washcloth. Slow, and gentle and Jesus.
“What?”, is the first thing he manages to say, and you snicker beside him. You caress his face, hand running through his hair, down his chest. Peck his lips. You’re both still naked.
“Feeling good?”, you ask and what kind of question even is that. You just fucked the soul from his body, and you ask him-
“I almost died”, he says, tagging your name at the end with an incredulous tint to it.
You snort, setting the washcloth on the nightstand behind you. You lie down close to him, cuddling into his side. “That was the plan.”
“Killing me with sex?”
“Yep. That’s for ogling my nudes without my permission, you creep.”
He says your name again, exasperated but so fucking fond it’s a miracle you’ve never noticed his pining before. You shrug, pull a ‘what can you do face’. Spencer rolls his eyes and then, unceremoniously, flops on top of you.
“Uffff”, you press out. “You’re smothering me, penguin.”
Spencer shrugs and copies the expression you just did. You bark out a laugh.
“Ha! Didn’t know post-sex Spencer is such a cheeky little shit. I’ve created a monster.”
He can’t entirely control his face, some parts of a smile slipping into his features. He does manage to poke out his tongue at you though, before he buries his face in your neck.
Some minutes tick by, you both enjoying the other’s presence and warmth and idleness, before something in his brain-
“Wait-“, Spencer splutters, pushing himself away from you so that he can look at you. “Did you- did you even finish?”
He’s kind of horrified. He was so focused on his pleasure- he- how did he forget? He doesn’t remember you coming and oh no, he’s such an asshole, who doesn’t make sure the other person has come as well and-
“Spencer, Spencer”, you shush him, fingers trailing along his back, and he shivers, eyes rolling back.
“I made myself come right after, don’t worry. You were kind of busy in your post-orgasm, pussy-drunk coma.”
Spencer flushes. “But I wanted to…”
You laugh softly. “You can do whatever to me, next time, sweets. This was about you. We’ll go on a date as soon as we’re back home. Fucking Florida is driving me nuts.”
Oh, he suddenly feels shy. A date? You want to go on a date with him?
“Really?”, he asks, and he hates how insecure he sounds.
You send him an unbelieving look. “Uh, what about the last hour makes you think otherwise? Seriously, Spencer, we need to work on your confidence.”
“Okay”, he mutters, a little bit pout-y and you scoff, pulling him down on top of your chest again.
There, with your hands painting patterns on his back and him completely lost in your warmth and familiarity, Spencer thinks that maybe, Florida isn’t that bad.
--
Bonus
“So, then. Made any scientific discoveries last night, pretty boy?”
Spencer chokes on his coffee.
“What?”
“Nothing”, his ‘friend’ says, smirking and leaning against his table, “You just seem to have figured out that little problem that’s been keeping that pretty head of yours all messed up.”
Spencer feels himself flush. Stupid body and stupid involuntary, physiological reactions. Morgan picks up on it, of course.
“Ohhhhh, want to share with the class what those discoveries were?”
Briefly, so very briefly, Spencer thinks of his self-compiled list but- no no no no.
“Shut up, Morgan.”
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
tags: @sebastiansstanswhore @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @wasitforrevenge @wannabewolf @tommorecommendedfics @winterhi09 @theoraekenslover @chaewondrful @okeyhoezayy @busy-buzzing @laurakirsten0502 @redros3y @trashxqueen @kitty-kei @so-long-daisymay @hayleythecannibal @jsnsnsnszjzj @reeidsluv @kayane28 @moonysreid @desperately-seeking-serotonin @munsonslunchbox @tul1p-mimi @anuttellaa @pinkgomie @elizabethmidnight2017 @evrmorets @cyanidebitsg @bangchansdog @pinterestwhore145 @some-one-yiu-dont-kno @emma-e-a
i hope these work lmao, also let me know if you wanna be on my eternal tag list for any future Spencer fic ;)
#tinywrites#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader fanfic#criminal minds smut#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x y/n#tinywrites:accidents#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fic#criminal minds x reader
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