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naboman · 4 months ago

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Pit.

Chapter One: peeler

Synopsis: Perhaps he was too drunk that night, and although he was called crazy, he was still lucid enough to be convinced that the face of that person was familiar. But what guarantee did Dazai have that his waiter was the killer who had been terrorising the dirty alleys of Yokohama? Pairing: PM!Dazai + Fem!Reader. Genres: suspense, investigation and graphic horror (mentions of body horror). Warnings: The content below features graphically descriptive violence, angst for the most part, hints of a sadistic Dazai bent on ‘yandere’.

Mono: Japanese kanji for ‘thing, object or matter’.

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It was no mean feat of his to arrive early, but there he was, a small glass with the commonly served round ice cube, his shot of whisky came in a generous amount. For a moment, Osamu wondered if this was a courtesy of the house, but on taking a closer look at the waiter who was serving him this evening, he could only conclude that it was nothing more than inexperience.

The figure was rather small, with a thin face and dark circles visible under his eyes. Osamu wasn't one to rush into things, but in his short assimilation of characteristics he could deduce with some basis that the person was physically ill, which was the reason behind her frail appearance. However, he snapped out of it when Odasaku appeared in the doorway of the bar, pausing for a second, as if absorbing his surroundings, inhaling the scent of alcohol, the dazai's cologne in the air and the wood under his nose. Something familiar. As Odasaku approached, Dazai's interest focused on the man, leaving aside the well-dressed figure who was rummaging through the counter, looking for utensils to dust. The service wasn't very interesting; on the contrary, it was the same as what the old waiter used to do. “Mono, can you serve me another one of these?” Odasaku nodded slightly, with his usual calmness, which was also reciprocated with a chaste nod. Dazai just followed the nameless waiter's movement, light but still restrained, like water swirling around in a bottle, light but still malleable and slippery. He ignored it for the moment. It seemed better than trying to decipher the puzzle with the missing pieces. “Mono… Isn't it?” “What's it like?” Odasaku slowed his steps, his eyes now focused on Osamu, who stared up at the cloudy Yokohama sky with nothing but his one brown eye, brown obscured by the darkness of the night. “That girl, in the bar” To Odasaku, his question seemed timid, but in reality, Osamu just didn't have the words to describe the figure in the bar, the person who had a slight countenance, slippery attitudes and tense movements, as if that body didn't even belong to her. She was in the process of adapting to his own skin. “Do you know her?” “Ah…” Comprehension struck Odasaku, the edge of his gaze left Osamu and he began to appreciate the cityscape, not with admiration, but contentment ”I've only seen it a few times, three I think, it's a mystery even to the owner.” “I didn't know that bars hired minors,” he laughed acidly, purely out of hypocrisy. “I don't think that's the case,” Odasaku shrugged. “Are you saying that Mono is one of those people who has only grown up mentally, but is still minuscule? Like Chuuya…” he meditated with his index finger raised, somewhat bemused. An understanding hum escaped the man, his hands buried in his pockets. “I think her case is a little more complex,” was the only plausible answer he gave Dazai as they walked back down the gloomy alley together.

#1 day of socializing

His strides were a little more lively, but still at a meek pace, perhaps due to the curiosity energizing his cold bones, the mythical mystery making him feel a little more heated, Osamu had a sadism for things he didn't know, perhaps it brought out his investigative side. In any case, Osamu soon sat down, fingering the counter with his long fingers, which tinkled in a soft thud on the wood, like a bird's walk. His silent scandal was more than enough to get Mono's attention. Tec, tec, tec… Tec… “Good evening, how can I…” Mono paused in her words when she noticed the familiar figure, although she hadn't been involved before, she paid attention to the man's silhouette, after all, hardly anyone with Osamu's profile would go unnoticed among people. Mono's gaze fell on Osamu's bandaged eye, as if she was trying to look him in the eye that was missing. Mono's gaze was not the most receptive, it was pleasant for her trade, but anywhere else her gaze would be described as “distant” or “lost”. Osamu felt that he could drown if he delved any deeper into her taciturn eyes, a place, he didn't know where, but as dark as velvet, so dense that it would suffocate him to death. Osamu's pupils dilated. “One dose,” an amused smile stretched across his lips. A moment of silence adorned the air, as if fullness reigned in the hearts of alcoholics, Osamu usually drank more than once a week, so one more dose during a Wednesday would be nothing, perhaps it would help him forget the cut in the palm of his bandaged hand. The gauze had a bloodstain that stretched across his palm, but the blood was dry and hard as cement. If he said it didn't hurt, he'd be blatantly lying to himself. Dazai will need more than a sore hand to satisfy his curiosity. He just needs a few splinters… a few pieces, to get to the treasure. “I've never seen you around here” He intrudes on Mono's thoughts, the shelf where they kept the still-sealed bottles was at the other end of the counter, making her look up from her shoulder ”Forgive me, am I getting in the way?” Osamu knows he is, but he's counting on his obedient dog talk to give him some assistance in prolonging the conversation. “Not at all, sir.” After a few seconds processing the break in the silence, Mono meditated, still oblivious to the conversation. “Sir?” Osamu repeated with disgust, an obvious wrinkle forming at the corner of his nose from the nausea “You see, I'm not that older” he sneered. “So…” With her attention still on the shelves, she meditated with her index finger under her lower lip, evidently distracted “what should I call you?” “Dazai” He said slowly, as if Mono needed to catch every syllable of his valuable name ‘Osamu Dazai, that's what I want you to call me’. For the first time in a while, she turned to look at him, with a bottle of Johnnie Walker in hand, opening it and pouring it into Osamu's glass, making the ice crackle loudly. “As you wish, Mr. Dazai” He nodded without blinking.

#2 day of socializing

“Is that really your name?” Dazai asked casually, like a classmate, before borrowing his materials. Not really caring, just trying to get what he wanted, before returning to his own seat in the classroom. “Hm?” She hummed with her mouth, flipping through the notebook on the counter. This time, Mono had put herself in a customer position, the older barista now being Osamu's waiter, while she, scribbling on the slightly dirty pages with a pen that Dazai had lent her, from the pocket of his overcoat. “Your name,” Dazai repeated. “But… you know my name.” Mono replied, still in his impartial but confused self. One thing Osamu had learned about the girl was that her compliant personality would give him any information he wanted, all he had to do was poke at it until it came out. 'Ah, if only all the enemies of the port mafia were like that…' he thought, almost letting out a weak sigh at the thought. “I know that's your trade name, I want to know the real one” He dispelled the girl's argument. Dazai lowered his eyes to look at the notebook in her hand, now having a clearer view of the text “And it's wrong here, correct it”. “A-ah… Right” Dazai didn't go to school, so he wondered if all students had grammar failures to the point of getting simple elements of spelling wrong. For a moment, he allowed himself to wonder what it was like, although he could say that his interest in going to school was nil, or too small. He couldn't understand the appeal of the environment, the people… It all seemed like such a bored. “Here too” Dazai interrupted the girl's train of thought, pressing his index finger on the flawed words, making her fixate on his commands ‘and… Here’. A brief hum in agreement was what Osamu received, not that he was complaining, it would potentially be harder to tolerate if she questioned his corrections, so for now his loud hum was enough. “Here too” Gently he exhaled the air from his lungs, one elbow resting on the counter and his left arm holding an already empty glass, Osamu squinted his eyes a little "let me see this". “I don't think you need it,” she said, but even reluctantly, she handed the notebook to Osamu, who took it with a light hand, light as a feather ”it's strange to have someone so young teaching me…” She admitted with a little shame in his tone. Osamu ignored his humble confession and focused on the text, and damn, was he surprised. As he read on, the gap between his eyebrows gradually narrowed, it wasn't easy to take him by surprise, but he was honestly shocked by some of the things he read. “Shit, are you sure you're going to school? There's some pretty tense stuff here…” He criticized, not with his usual mockery, but in unpleasant surprise, “You should do some supplementary lessons, if you must know, Miss… [Name]?”. The sound of her name coming from Dazai's bold lips was the trigger for her to take the notebook from his hands, a little resentfully, hugging him as if her life depended on it. Dazai had his long-awaited moment at last. It made him smile slightly. “[Name] Tamagawa… Is that really your name? Well, it must be…” he said to himself, more to himself than to the girl next to him "It's in your notebook, after all". Her name echoed in his head like a loop, as if he were trying to memorize it so he wouldn't forget it. She took a deep breath, a little bent over the counter, either from tiredness or embarrassment. “Yeah, that's my name, actually,” she muttered quietly, receiving an appraising look from Dazai, something in a limbo between curiosity and unfounded contempt, but moreover contained with an almost sick admiration for knowing more and more about his newest bartender.

#3 days of socializing :

“Getting somewhere”

Dazai hadn't been to the bar for the last week, it was nice for a change, although he was tired from his occupations within the Port Mafia, he was still typing his report, not far ahead, Chuuya was dipping the fries in the ketchup with little or no mercy, if they were alive they would be crying for help, their throats sore from screaming, while their failing vocal cords were gradually losing their timbre, just like the traitors he… His thoughts dissipated when he noticed the young waitress arriving with a tray, possibly the same age as him, with a single cup of strawberry milk shake. Mr.Mori would be screaming seeing all that extra whipped cream and sugar sprinkled on his cup.

“Sorry it took so long,” she laughed lightly, setting the glass down carefully. “Don't worry about it” A gallant smile swept across her sullen expression, leaving the girl somewhat embarrassed before she left. Chuuya couldn't help rolling her eyes, but refrained from words. “Why the hell am I still here? Don't you think I have better things to do?” Chuuya complained, still devouring the potatoes from his portion, to which Osamu responded with silence and the sound of his mug swirling the sugary drink. “You're a key element in my mission,” he said with a cocky tone, ”no wonder you're doing my security.” “That's ridiculous, you don't even need security,” he grumbled in return. “I'll take that as a compliment” “Far from it!” “Look” He threw some unopened cards in the redhead's direction, with a total lack of care. “Watch where you throw those things!” He snorted nonetheless, picking them up and opening them to see the contents, something that took him by surprise. Had he been a little more sensitive, he feared he would have felt like vomiting. The photographs were nothing more than scenes from horror movies. The bodies of old mafia members tainted like animals, the murders not brutally maniacal in intent, but quick damage to kill them as quickly as possible. Fatal damage, but sloppy nonetheless. “Our killer has just started in the profession” Chuuya scrolled through the photos, looking at them one by one, each scene more distorted than the next. “These must have been high-ranking members, some of them were even Mrs. Kouyo's security guards.” A thoughtful murmur escaped Chuuya. “And what exactly are you planning to prove with that, asshole? All we have are these disgusting photos, there's nothing to give us any clues about our killer.” Chuuya tossed the photos back to Osamu, who let out a murmur of approval. “We've got some additional damage, look closely, there's something on the ground here” He pointed at Chuuya, who noticed well enough to identify a slimy, milky liquid on the walls of the alley in which the photograph was taken, scraps of skin on the ground and traces of dried blood, as if someone had cut open a dead animal with such a violation during the crime scene. “It doesn't make sense, the bodies have without any kind of dismemberment…” Chuuya's fist was under his chin, giving him a thoughtful posture. His countenance held a troubled confusion. “I know,” Dazai confirmed, now giving priority to the cityscape outside the window, the diner overlooked a street of busy cars, and at the end of the street, a hospital with little traffic ”The chief was at the corpse inspections and took some samples of that disgusting stuff on the walls…” “É?” “The genetic material doesn't match any of our agents.” Dazai concluded, with an impassive face, something Chuuya hated more than seeing any arrogant sentiment on the bastard's face, it was seeing nothing, simply the emptiness that left open his innermost, grotesque self. But before she could sink into the emptiness of Dazai's apathetic expression, his countenance began to move again, like a doll haunted by some evil spirit. “Which gives us room for interpretation” “And they would be…?” One of Dazai's fingers went up: “We're dealing with a self-mutilator, but the cause of his actions is still a mystery” another finger went up, forming a V “the second would be that the killer catches them at unassuming and opportune moments, disappearing with the victims' partners and leaving only Mafia agents” “Which would imply that the killer knew the faces of our men,” Chuuya added. “Exactly, that indicates that we may be dealing with a traitor” Dazai mused. Chuuya took on a stern, tense expression. Another finger rose in the air, now making the air a little less breathable for Chuuya, the idea of a third hypothesis making him alarmed. “And the third assumption was made by the boss, I disbelieve it, but there's still a possibility” Chuuya waited in silence for Osamu's revelation, who stared at him with his eyes once again hollow. “We may be dealing with a skill user”

thank u for read <3

#bsd x reader #bsd x y/n #bsd x you #bsd dazai osamu #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs x reader #angst #series #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #osamu x reader #dazai x reader #bsd chuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs

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g0nta-g0kuhara · 1 year ago

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Gonta Character Thoughts

Someone asked me earlier today for some Gonta writing tips, and while I don't know fully how useful this wall of text is for that, it let me talk about Gonta as a character and about his motivations that I think some folks might appreciate either as people who like him or people who want to understand better why I'm so insane about him. It was also really fun to pull together my thoughts on him so I wanted to share!!

The main thing for me is that Gonta is pretty confident with himself when it comes to any situation that requires physical might. When it comes to lifting heavy things or fighting for his friends, Gonta is at ease and doesn't need to hesitate to consider if he Can do the thing. On the other hand, where he's a bit more nervous or hesitant is social situations. He's unfamiliar with and misses a lot of social cues and ends up stumbling and hesitant in situations he's never been in before (like class trials at the beginning of v3). In these situations he might look to follow someone's lead or even directly ask for help.

On the topic of familiarity, Gonta is also very well versed in knowledge related to bugs and survival, as well as nature, especially in the forest where he grew up. He is not very familiar with a lot of things other characters would take for granted as common knowledge (like computers, if its relevant at all he probably doesn't know much kanji). Gonta isn't Dumb but he is missing a cultural baseline for a lot of references and info that makes him struggle where other characters will have no issues.

Gonta's convinced that he's stupid because he lacks this baseline, and because of the reinforcement and teasing by those around him. He has pretty severe self-esteem problems, and he's convinced that all he's good for is his physical strength, as that's all people seem to value him for anyways. This led to a pretty bad complex during the killing game where he blamed himself for every single death ("if gonta could have just protected them this would have never happened. its all gonta's fault") which only got worse and worse. He's desperate to help out and be useful to the group so will go along with a lot if he thinks there's a chance he will be able to help. This is a major driving force for his character, especially in chapter 4.

Gonta is probably good with fine detail work (as he has to be to work with and mount bugs) but also will forget his strength if he gets excited or otherwise forgets himself. Very polite things like holding the door open for someone or offering to take someone's hand to help them down the stairs, or other things like that that aren't necessarily expected in every day life but definitely are of a stereotypical gentleman, Gonta will do whenever he can, but it's a very intentional thing. He might hesitate, remember he should be doing that, then go for it, which can end up a bit awkward. Gonta is very kindhearted by nature, so that will often come through even if he is a bit awkward about being gentleman-level polite. He's trying his best though.

Gonta is also very openly expressive. He can't hide or suppress his emotions very well most of the time, which means he emotes A Lot. He cries more easily than the other boys in v3, or really any of the characters in the v3 cast, and definitely cries more loudly and openly. But on the other hand, when he's happy, he glows.

The one emotion he tries his best to control is anger. A lot of Gonta's social isolation before he got lost (and even after tbh) came from the fact that he was bigger than the other kids and his neutral expression can be a bit intense/scary. He's not hotheaded in the way Kaito might be, but he's very careful with his words and himself when he's upset in this way.

Gonta will also make that intense expression where he grits his teeth and Looks angry when he's stressed or hurt. This can freak out his classmates to the point that he accidentally pushes them away when he needs their reassurance the most. (see: when you talk to gonta during the ch4 investigation, when he's freaking out about not being able to remember what happened and feeling useless, he makes this expression and Kaito gets scared.)

I need to stress though that Gonta is NOT aggressive. Almost every time in game where he considers physical violence as an option, he thinks through it carefully before acting (Defending Kaede before her execution, challenging Monokuma in ch4 before being talked down). A notable exception to this might be kidnapping people for the insect meet and greet, but that was less aggression and more Gonta being in a heightened state of emotion (convinced that everyone hates bugs, which upset him) so forgetting his strength.

Also, it's important to note that Gonta IS sometimes able to hide his emotions and tell lies, but it has to be very intentional and planned ahead of time. He can't suppress his tears at the loss of a classmate, and he can't lie easily (See trial 1 and 2 where Gonta very simply says that yeah he totally could have thrown the shotput ball or tossed ryoma into the tank /physically/, even though admitting this puts a target on his back). However, he was able to hide the truth of the outside world and the fact that he was likely experiencing some really intense emotions at the time from his friends as he and Kokichi executed their plan. Of course, the fact that they were virtual world avatars helps, but its not everything. I think he just has to plan to lie or prepare himself to put on a front in advance.

I know this is super long so just one last thing: Gonta will take a Lot of verbal abuse and teasing if it goes along with his already poor self image. Other characters will call him an idiot and he doesn't even bat an eye because he's convinced of the fact himself. That's why when Kiibo played back the audio recording of Kokichi during the Insect Meet n Greet the part that upset Gonta the most wasn't Kokichi calling him "simple-minded," but instead Kokichi saying that he didn't actually like bugs. He will stand up for himself (carefully, as he always acts when he's angry-upset) if other lines are crossed, though. Like in Ch2 when Kokichi says if Gonta keeps falling for his lies he will end up a victim of the killing game, to which Gonta says something like "Don't say that Kokichi, not even as joke."

I have more I could get into but that teeters more into personal headcanon territory on his friendships and backstory, so I'll hold off. but MAN I love Gonta and I love how genuinely deep his character goes. Its a shame so few people really get into his character beyond "sunshiney bug "himbo" ", there's a lot here that's fun to play with.

#gonta gokuhara #danganronpa v3 #drv3 spoilers #shut up me #long post #READ MY POST BOY

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ros3ybabe · 1 year ago

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Update Check In - October 7th thru October 10th, 2023 🎀

I am officially back home from seeing my boyfriend and now I am big sad because I already miss him again. I was not as productive as I thought I would’ve been while with him these last three days but I’m also not mad about my lack of stuff done. I got some quality time with him and I am so happy with that. I did do some things that would count s productivity, such as some Japanese studying and a short amount of homework. I think I’ll use this post as a motivator for some stuff I need to do with a little bit of what I did this weekend.

🩷 What I Accomplished -

Kept up Duolingo daily streak

Kept up Busuu daily streak

Began working in Lesson One in Genki I

Submitted and passed Psyc Quiz for Chapter 7

Began using LingQ for Japanese

Looked into Kanji learning books

so yes, I didn’t accomplish much but again, not mad. I am still happy with what I did accomplish. I also really enjoy the Genki I textbook so far, I’m still trying to figure out a good note taking technique for myself with this textbook but I really like writing down the end of lesson practice exercises. I think I want to get better at reading and writing, and listening, and my goal is to start italki lessons by December/Jaunary. If I don’t start my italki lessons until a bit later tho, I won’t be upset because I know learning Japanese is a long process and something I’ll be working on for a good chunk of my life.

🩷 ToDo Personal Today, Oct 11 -

Wash bed sheets + pillowcases

Wash + put away all laundry (clothes)

Do dishes

Continue to work on Genki I lesson one

Maintain Duolingo streak

Maintain Busuu streak

Use Renshuu

Look for some more affordable Japanese language resources for my IPad

Talk to my boyfriend in video call

Make a shopping list for language tracker/bullet journal (I get paid tomorrow)

Make a schedule/routine for working out (I’m going back to the gym next week!)

🩷 ToDo Academic for Today, October 11 -

Lifecycle nutrition chart for NUTR

Lab 7 Pre Lab for my Anatomy Lab

Discussion 3 for NUTR

Culinary chapter 10 quiz

not much academic stuff on the list for the day but I’m trying to take it a little easier with my school things as I am exhausted from a long day of flying and airports yesterday. However, I am using today as like, a set up day for my upcoming days/week. Productive planning is basically my goal for today with a little bit of actively doing some work. I am excited to start my language tracking bullet journal and plan some stuff for working out as I am planning on going back to the gym next week. I want to start with light cardio for the first week just to get me in the habit of going and then after I’m going to step back into the weight room and start lifting light. My boyfriend got me motivated to work on my mental and physical health a bit better, so I’m definitely excited!

I feel with the exercising, it will help me manage my stress better, which I feel will lead to better mood and better food choices. Exercising alone is enough of a motivator to take my nutrition more seriously. I’m more focused on the mental and emotional health aspect of working out than I am the physical stuff, but I’m excited for all the benefits regardless. I just want to take better care of my health in every aspect, in a way that aligns with my values. Hopefully I will have better posts full of more information and stuff I’ve done during the day once I get all areas in my life back in balance with each other.

that’s all for now! I appreciate all of you who read and comment and send me the most encouraging and supportive messages, you all keep me motivated and inspired to continue being my most authentic self and help me feel comfortable with expressing myself in this community. I am so grateful for everything that goes into this blog and everything it’s done for me and the direction it’s helped me guide my life in! Much love to all of you <3

til next time lovelies 🩷🤍

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tokidokitokyo · 1 year ago

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2023年5月31日

TL;DR: Don't feel inadequate if your language learning journey is not the same as that of others. Your path is valid and you are doing great!

May seemed to just speed on by! And now it's time for my monthly Japanese study log. I think this month I felt a lot of shame for not having time to do the big goals that I have set for myself, and seeing people on langblr or studyblr accomplishing a lot of big goals makes me feel inadequate. It's important to remember that your language journey is your own, not someone else's, and there is no shame in going at your own pace. I try to focus on the things that I accomplish and not make the journeys that other people are on into some kind of impossible standard to hold myself to. Look at your own learning through the lens of how far you have come, and you will feel less like you are lacking.

つまり、自分なりに言語の勉強を続いてね。周りの人の道は自分とは違っても、自分でも成長していますね。これからも続きましょう！

5月はあっという間に終了です！今からは日本語の勉強日記を書こうと思います。今月は大きいな目標をなかなか進まなくて辛かったです。それに、タンブラーやインスタグラムの勉強垢をよく見てて、なんか自分が足りないって感じていました。日本語や言語の勉強は自分のやり方で自分のペースで進んだ方がいいと覚えた方がいいと思いますから、それを頑張って思い出そうとしています。他人の成長を見ながら自分の成長が足りないなと思うことはよくやりますが、それを辞めるように努力します。一か月や一年前の自分を見たら、今まですごく成長してきたと気づいたら、足りなくないとわかるかもしれません。

My 2023 Goals Progress

I laid out some broad goals for my Japanese study in my 2023 Japanese Language Goals post, so, as always, I start off my update with my progress towards these goals.

1. Read one page a day of 日本の歴史366 (にほんのれきし366) everyday in 2023.

How is it going? Good! I am finally getting back on track after setbacks from late work nights, illness, and vacation time. Since this is a page-a-day study book, I would have preferred to keep reading in order and to catch up on the days I missed reading, but that was physically impossible due to a lack of time in general. So I am continuing on even though I skipped some days because it's good reading practice and I still learn vocabulary and kanji daily.

2. Finish 日本語総まとめ N3 (にほんごそうまとめ N3) workbooks.

How is it going? Good! I have been doing one workbook daily entry per day for at least 2 days a week. There are 4 workbooks (Vocabulary, Kanji, Grammar, Listening) with 6 weeks and 6-7 daily entries per week. I am still on Week 5 out of 6 weeks, but I am progressing much more than I did last year (or the year before that lol).

I take my time with each lesson, reviewing the vocab/kanji/grammar points meticulously, so that I absorb the information rather than just rush through it. Sometimes I already know most of the vocab or kanji or grammar, but other days require more focus. I feel like I am retaining more information by doing it little-by-little, rather than just trying to get as much done as possible in one sitting. In May, I didn't review the lessons afterwards and throughout the week, so I might take some extra time to do that once I finish the series.

3. Review and learn the first 6 levels of the 常用漢字 (じょうようかんじ), specifically the 教育漢字 (きょういくかんじ) up to grade 6.

How is it going? Okay. I have been trying to focus on Joyo Kanji in my kanji reviews, so I went back to Grade 1 kanji to start my review. It helps me to figure out which ones I know well and where I am struggling. Goal: Review through at least grade 3 during the month of June.

4. Read at least one book every two months.

How is it going? Not great. I haven't had the time (nor the motivation) to pick back up the books I stopped in March, and I'm trying to be okay with that ^^; I would like to pick back up one book in June and try to finish it by July. One thing that I am continuing to read is the Gekkan Shojo Nozaki-kun manga series (in small chunks, usually before bed).

5. Improve my speaking and writing by finding a tutor.

How is it going? It could be better. I am going to set a deadline for finally finding a tutor. I just worry that if I find a tutor I won't be able to commit to a regular schedule and I'll just drop off like I have before. I keep thinking if I had more time to search for a tutor it'd be more permanent, but I think I am just procrastinating (shocked gasps from all). There's also a small worry about the financial commitment, but I am going to try to be frugal in other areas to allow for this luxury. Goal: I will find a tutor by June 30th (or at least start making regular appointments with tutors).

I've also added on to this goal that I would like to start writing sentences on HelloTalk so that I can get feedback without needing a tutor. This might help me to get motivated to improve instead of being terrified of making mistakes. Goal: Write one sentence a day on HelloTalk in June.

6. Study Japanese for at least 10 minutes every day.

How is it going? Good! Thank goodness I have been studying Japanese every day for so long that it's not even something I have to think about trying to fit into my schedule anymore.

May Study Log

This month my top study areas were Vocabulary, Kanji, and Speaking. I spent the least time studying Grammar and practicing Writing.

Study Methods I Used in May

Social Media

Not only did I use apps like renshuu.org (flash cards) and Easy Japanese (articles in Japanese) to study in May, I also used Instagram and started back up on HelloTalk. The idea is to interact with social media in a meaningful way by reading and writing in Japanese. I commented on other user's posts and reached out to some of them as well to start a conversation. The only drawback to this method is that you can get lost in endless doom scrolling if you don't focus on what you are there for (i.e. interaction) and just get lost in the algorithm.

Conversation

I speak Japanese daily (with my husband and son) and since my son is starting to speak in 3-4 word sentences and to copy our speech patterns, I am more mindful of what I am saying to him and how I am saying it (for example, using 大変 instead of やばい ^^;). However, when speaking with my husband it is easier to fall into a Japanglish routine with him, to drop formality and be lazy with sentence construction, and to speak in a more masculine way (because I tend to mimic the speech patterns of those I am speaking with). I have recently made a few Japanese mom friends with whom I can practice Japanese conversation. So I try to utilize our play dates by speaking both formal and casual Japanese, being mindful of my interactions, and trying to utilize new words or grammar points. Using Japanese is the best way to improve it, after all. The only drawback is that the conversation practices can be spaced few and far between, so spending time mindfully speaking at home is also important.

Reading

I have been doing far less reading than I was at the beginning of the year, but I still try to read something for just a few minutes a day to practice reading. Either an article, manga, or even just social media, just to keep myself practicing. Like conversation practice, the best way to improve my reading skills is to keep reading. The drawback is that if I try to read a book but then I have to put it down for a while, I forget what was happening or I lose my motivation to keep reading it because I feel like I am not making progress. If reading books is just not feasible due to a time crunch, I find it much better to read something shorter (articles or part of a manga), and I try not to be hard on myself for not reading a whole book when it seems like everyone else is reading tons of books every month.

Going Forward in June

Be continuous with 日本の歴史366

Focus on grades 1-3 of 教育漢字

Start regular italki tutor sessions

Write in Japanese on HelloTalk

Read one of the books I started earlier in the year by the end of July

I've been studying Japanese for a long time and I still feel inadequate a lot of the time. If you have studied Japanese for any amount of time, please be proud of yourself. You've done something that a lot of people only wish they could do. As always, I wish you much success in your language endeavors, and I hope we can continue on this journey together (no matter where our paths take us)!

長い間日本語を勉強しててもまだまだ足りないと思てます。今までちょっとでも長い間でも日本語を勉強している人に伝いたいことは、よく頑張ったね！日本語を勉強したくても勉強したことない人もたくさんいますので、勉強している人はすごいと思います。そして、自分なりにつづいてください。これからも、皆さん勉強の成功と成長を願っています。どんな道でも、一緒に勉強を続きましょう！

#日本語 #japanese #japanese language #japanese langblr #japanese studyblr #langblr #studyblr #日本語の日記 #japanese diary #japanese goals 2023 #japanese studyspo #tokidokitokyo #tdtphoto #my photo #japanese goals may 2023

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pretty-pink-seaslug · 3 years ago

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IM FINALLY MAKING THE INTRO FOR HIM AFTER LIKE 84 YEARS—

Katsu!

Under the cut because GOD this is long—

Katsu started out in simple beginnings, born and raised in Osaka by a loving mother and mainly absent father. Things were fine for him back then, playing video games and watching sentai shows with his friends, practicing Kung Fu on pillows in his room, drumming with chopsticks on empty Tupperware containers, simple living overall! However, this simple life would fall to shambles by the age of 16, he didn’t know his mother had a drinking problem and thought it was just some hobby of hers, he didn’t know the hidden drinking problem would end in liver failure and soon her demise. Upon hearing this news, his father took him in to live with him, but he, of course, was still barely there. He’s still doing some of his simple life activities but he lost a few friends over the years, either to them moving away or a falling out. On a bad day where he got in a fight at school (he won—), he’s about to go to his dad’s room, just to see if he’s home, but he overhears him talking mad shit about his late mother over the phone with somebody, and even laughing about how he’s the reason she gained a drinking problem, asking if it’s ‘really that serious’

Katsu was understandably furious, running to his room, slamming the door shut, and with a righteous anger, practically destroyed it entirely! There were 2 holes in the wall, his trash can thrown over, keyboard thrown around, etc. his nose bled for the first time since summer days many years ago, and he looked to his ceiling, with a rampant thought in his mind, “I’ll end him and send him to hell, it should’ve been him.”

Cut to him being about 21 now I’d say, he’s got a drinking addiction, his dad is on a missing paper, and his main source of income are underground fighting rings and occasionally rap battles. This is where he met Maki! Well more like Maki met him lol

Ok it’s time for details!

Katsu is a metal head but for some reason recently I’ve been thinking about him freestyle rapping and him being real smart with wordplay— idk why but it’s cool so now I added it to his character

The reason it took me so long to get this posted (I literally finished his design like either December 10th or 11th of 2021) was because I wanted to give him an extended text like Bat and Maki have, and also because I didn’t have a backstory for him yet—

If he needs to let off some anger but has nothing to physically let it off on, he’ll pull out his phone, turn on some metal from his mixtape, and start head banging very violently. Some people are scared of him.

His design is based off of like 1 or 2 pieces by Jinx88 (Yeah I know big surprise there /s 🙄) mixed with some elements of Okuyasu and pictures I’ve seen of moshpit/rave goers

I wanted to give him this cool bullet belt I saw once on this guy in a metal head video,, but I have discovered I cannot draw bullets,,,

Strangely good at looking after kids??? Maybe it’s either because he’s a little childish (and stupid—) or just cuz he’s kind hearted, you would never expect him to be too good around kids especially since he’s an only child—

I can’t draw muscles 😰

He cannot cook.

Alright now that wraps up the little detail section, here’s an added subtitle pic aaaand peace out!

I felt so smart with how I played around with the kanji tattoos 🙈🙈🙈

#tw alchoholism #my art #my artwork #my oc #my ocs #Maki & The Creeps #MATC #Maki and The Creeps #liver failure #a tag I never thought I’d use 💀💀💀

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kirisaki-daichi-scenarios · 4 years ago

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kiridai, haizaki + akashi seijuro II

part one here

For a moment, Akashi wonders whether he’s hallucinating.

Of course, he’s in perfect condition - both physical and mental - and this mirage can’t be one inspired by desire either. If that were the case, if it were some bizarre manifestation of his missing Teikō, he’d be imagining Kuroko or Midorima instead. Maybe even Aomine, though that’s a stretch.

He certainly wouldn’t have conjured up the Haizaki Shougo by choice.

“Oi, Akashi, long time no see!”

His fellow first year is leaning against the lockers, just a few strides ahead of Akashi, adorning a black hoodie over the issued white Kirisaki Daiichi shirt, first few holes unbuttoned and tie undone.

“Haizaki.”

Why Haizaki’s attending a school for the very rich, for those with power and success foretold in their futures, when he’s neither of those categories, Akashi doesn’t know. It’s hard to come up with a good guess either. All Akashi can think of right now is that, of all people he’s ever met in his life, Haizaki’s the last he would have ever liked to meet again (let alone go to the same school with, for the second time in a row), and that he’ll be late to his next class, if he dignifies Haizaki with a response longer than one word.

Unfortunately, it seems Haizaki has other plans.

“A little bird told me,” grins Haizaki, stepping in front of Akashi, and side-stepping when Akashi does. His face is inches away from the redhead’s face, as his tongue darts out over his thumb, “that you’ve not been able to join the basketball team here. Guess they were looking for a skilled team player, and you couldn’t fill the requirements, huh?”

“Enough, Shougo. I don’t have the time to entertain you.”

Akashi pushes against Haizaki’s shoulder, trying to get past. Haizaki pushes back.

“To think you kicked me out of the team - and now look at you.”

“Good. Bye. Shougo.”

“Three years here, and you’re not going to play basketball for any of them. Better start coming up with excuses to not play with your miracle buddies. They’re all going to have way surpassed you as players by the time we graduate.”

Akashi’s faintly aware of his shoulders shivering, as he glowers at Haizaki.

“Watch your tone,” he snarls.

For a second, Haizaki looks a little unnerved, as if he’s instinctually reverted back to the days Akashi was his captain. But the emotion soon passes. All that follows is a smug grin that haunts Akashi for the rest of the day.

It’s the disrespect; that’s what Akashi can’t handle.

The mere concept that some arrogant fool like Haizaki, who’s never worked for anything in his life, could have been handed a place on the first string on a plate, just because someone somewhere (Hanamiya) has such fun meddling with people’s lives.

*****

If Akashi had ever liked Haizaki at all, had ever held a single non-negative emotion towards the guy, he soon loses it. The boy's like a kanji whose definition you search up once, and now you’re seeing it everywhere you go. For weeks, Akashi hadn’t known Haizaki was a member of the same school. Yet now they've been bumping into each other every day. And, every time, Haizaki’s got trainers on, or a basketball in his hands - if he had had half as much an enthusiasm for the sport during middle school, then maybe he would have been able to continue as a member on the team - and he meets Akashi’s gaze to smirk, as the ball spins on his finger.

The time he once spent playing basketball, Akashi now spends riding, working on additional homework, studying Shogi tactics, and searching up Hanamiya’s name. The second year’s eyes tease him from within his computer screen, as he carefully reads through all the information on the Uncrowned Kings - searching for anything that he could possibly use against Hanamiya, since he’s already understood that this is an opponent he can’t face without preparation. But all he learns is that Hanamiya played ball with Imayoshi in middle school, that their team was expectedly successful, and that he won some university level prize for chemistry last year.

That, and (from a blog on the third page of Google results, by some kid who faced the Kirisaki Daichi basketball team last year): “I used to like superhero movies. I liked how predictable they were - that you could always bet on the hero being stronger than the villain. But now I’ve faced that fucker Hanamiya, I don’t know about that anymore. He’s the shittiest piece of shit I’ve ever met, and, not only does he get away with it, but also he completely defeated against my senpais, who’d spent years training for that moment. It’s like he’s sent from hell.”

It’s with this blog in mind, that Akashi, with his newly acquired position as student council head, decides to forgo fighting with Hanamiya face-to-face, to make the matter political instead. That’s one angle he knows he can succeed at; it's what his father trained him for.

He's superior to Hanamiya - by far. He's a born talent, and he'll know nothing but success in his life, once he's sorted out the second year. Hanamiya's nothing but a cheap bully in comparison.

*****

“Finally,” Akashi announces, towards the end of the student council meeting, sat with his back straight, “I’m concerned about the basketball team.”

There’s a collective sigh to varying degrees, by the other members of the committee. One girl slips the boy beside her a 10,000 yen banknote, as he rolls his eyes.

“Look, Akashi, you’ve not been here long,” begins the 3rd year Vice President, adjusting his glasses, “but I’ll save you the trouble of wasting your time with this. If you’ve got a problem with them; well, no, you don’t.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” replies Akashi, who knows damn well what’s going on, but who wants to hear it admitted by these buffoons who have let Hanamiya run free across the school.

The student council has spent so many hours of their week sat in this room of mahogany chairs with plush purple seats, with the large, arch-shaped windows which overlook the campus grounds: mostly the golf course, but with the indoor gyms in the corner, where the Kirisaki Daichi basketball team is no doubt messing around as Akashi speaks (why would they bother practicing if all they do is injure opponents?) And thus student council enjoys many privileges too, which one would only deserve if they were keeping the school in order - but that's something which they lost all hope in managing, the minute Hanamiya stepped onto this campus unchained.

“We don’t get involved with Hanamiya, or anything he does, or any troubles he might have allegedly cause. Ergo, we don’t get involved with any of the rest of them either.”

“The headmaster-“

“The headmaster’s an old friend of the Yamazaki family’s. Even if he wasn’t, he loves Seto and Hanamiya - they’re the type that's guaranteed to get into Tōdai and become very powerful in the future - he's always indulging in them. You know, in the past, we only had a sports scholarship for golf, but this year, Hanamiya claimed he had to have one for basketball, something about a talented player who couldn't afford the school fees. So it was up to us to factor that into the school's budget, because God forbid someone goes against Hanamiya. You can do whatever you want as student council president - we all know you're more than qualified for the position - but just leave Hanamiya be.”

Fighting his inner rage at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation, Akashi exhales slowly. How can favouritism be so blatant? How can a couple kids with better opportunities than others have so much power?

And, worse, everyone’s starting to get up already, undermining his own power as the president. Like they think this meeting’s over.

“Haizaki Shougo has injured teammates in the past.” Akashi adds quickly, “it’s not in the school’s interests to allow him to represent us.”

The girl that had been sat opposite Akashi - the editor-in-chief of the school’s magazine - slips her backpack onto her back, as she asks, “has he injured anyone here?”

“He very well might have.”

“Then take it up with the discipline council.”

Akashi allows a thin smile to form across his lips. Hope. Potential for at least one ally against the Kiridai team.

“Who’s the head of the discipline council?”

“Hanamiya.” When the Vice President looks at Akashi, there’s genuine pity in his eyes. “With all due respect, I think you should give this up.”

******

As Akashi makes his way through the school grounds, to where a chauffeur should be waiting to drive him home, he stops briefly by the flower beds by the entrance to the main building. They’re being tended by a tall man, with dark hair, and darker eyes, but his movements are gentle as he sprinkles root powder onto the soil under the rose bush.

If only, thinks Akashi (watching the stranger, hoping the splendid colours of the flowers might lower his blood pressure enough to not explode at his father this evening), his school life could be so simple. How nice would it be for his only responsibilities to constitute of some gardening here and there, in a world where useless bureaucrats, Hanamiya, and (by default) the basketball team, didn’t exist.

But even this dream is quickly shattered.

“Furuhashi!” yells a pink-head obnoxiously, with a basketball jersey loose around his torso. He's accompanied by the second year who had led Akashi to the gym on that fateful first day, “you seriously ditched us just for your roses? We’ve had to scour the whole campus looking for you - Hanamiya didn’t want us to leave without you, but, man, between you and post-practice udon-”

“You've known me this many years, Hara,” replies Furuhashi, standing up slowly, “and you really didn’t to check whether I was by the flowerbeds first?”

Only now does Furuhashi see Akashi. They stare at each other for a long moment - Akashi with nothing but disappointment in his eyes, and Furuhashi clearly wondering why a stranger looks so disgruntled with his existence - until Hara interrupts.

“Oh hey, Akashi,” he grins, “you wouldn’t be standing there, hoping we’d invite you to join us, would you? Alas, only the first string’s allowed on these outings. But, if you wipe down the court, then I might just put in a good word for you.”

The man beside him chuckles. Furuhashi rolls his eyes, and wipes the remnants of soil of his trousers.

Akashi walks off without looking back once. He walks so fast he’s practically jogging. The more he hears of the pink-head’s voice, the more he thinks of Kise, or of all the Teikō team and of the times they spent together, post-practice, whilst now they’re spread across the country, whilst he’s stuck at a school with Haizaki and Hanamiya, because his father is so convinced his son will become a politician.

“I see you’re not on the basketball team anymore,” says the man that evening. His are the only words said over dinner; Akashi doesn’t trust himself to open his mouth. “Good. You should join the golf club instead; the prime minister’s son’s an alumni of theirs.”

In the night, Akashi dreams that he’s in an exam hall, but he can’t understand any of the questions in the test before him, and he’s not got a pen with him either. Feeling nauseous, he raises a hand, and the teacher lets him leave to the toilet - but with a distrustful glimpse in her eye, like she thinks he’s just a cheat. When he stands up, his belt snaps. Forced to hold his trousers in place himself, he runs all the way to the school bathrooms, but, when he finally finds a stall available, the lock on the front is broken, and Hanamiya’s filming him with a grin.

He wakes at 2am, yet can’t fall back asleep. Instead, he decides to search up the meaning of the dream, before shortly closing his computer again after all that comes up is insinuations of stress, fear, and cowardice. What’s worse is that it’s possible. He might be stressed. He might even be nervous.

At 3am, he finds himself watching a recording of Kirisaki Daichi’s match with Seirin last year. And, maybe it’s just the delirium of only having slept a couple hours, but, when the pixelated Hanamiya snaps his fingers and Seirin’s centre is moved out of the court on a stretcher shortly after, Akashi shivers.

He feels feverish, sick and cold at the same time, and yet he plays the match on repeat till 7am comes around, and it’s time to prepare for school.

*****

Hanamiya grins when he sees Akashi - and his rumpled shirt, and the dark circles under his eyes - during lunch.

“I hear you’re student president now,” he says, as he wraps his arm around the first year’s shoulders, close enough that Akashi can see the redness of the captain's knuckles, remnants from the previous student he dealt with.

Around them, students cast quick looks at the duo as they walk past. They gaze at Hanamiya with curiosity and thinly veiled worry, and at Akashi with nothing more than sympathy. He’s never felt more humiliated.

At last, glaring and making sure his voice retains a cutting edge, Akashi replies, “I am.”

“Well I don’t know if you know, but I actually run the discipline committee,” Hanamiya’s voice is practically singing, as he gives Akashi's arm a squeeze, “so if you ever have a problem with anyone, if anyone’s ever bothering you, just let me know. I’ll soon sort them out for you.”

Akashi clenches his fist, stares down at the ground. Bitter, bitter rage rises within him, but stronger is the sense of defeat. His heart tells him to apologise - for anything at all, just to get this man off his back - though he refuses to allow himself to sink so low. Better, he knows, would be to leave before he says something he’ll regret.

And, as he walks away, he hears Hanamiya’s voice behind him - “I look forward to working with you, Sei!” - and the words ring in his head for the rest of the day, like a threat.

He understands now, if nothing else, what the captain means, when he talks about ‘trash’.

****

authors notes:

if the above fic is unreadable, it’s because i was up researching akashi at 4am, and then spent 5am onwards writing and editing this. lowkey, i really enjoyed writing this! in particular, putting the work in to write the point of view of a character i’ve written so little for in the past, was a lot of fun, and, more so, trying to fit in little canon details about akashi into this fic too. (he comes off a bit of a patronising twat in the manga/anime, but, man, there’s a whole to be uncovered between the lines). so, hopefully, if any of y’all are akashi fans, you won’t notice too many ooc aspects in this :D

also, i'd like to dedicate these odd 2.2k words to @dust-of-fandoms and @thecrimsonacademic ! your enthusiasm towards this au really motivated me, so i hope you like this addition to the first part :)

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shhhlikeme · 4 years ago

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“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #17: (NSFW)

———————————

A/N: taglist, I did not post one with the last marathon so check if you missed collections 13-15 |

I had a lot of difficulty posting this so if it seems unfinished and you don’t see the taglist please let me know!

Also, MATURE CONTENT BELOW! NSFW!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

———————————

Poor Aone………………………………………’s sexual composure. 🥵🤯🤸‍♂️

That following Friday, In the calm Date Tech Hallway….

Like a hurricane, Kenji and a kanji ran over to Aone-san out of breath.

“Aone!!!”

Used to his best friends being storms at home and at school, he turned to them at his locker. “Yes? Are you two okay?”

Kenji made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “—Just dandy. We’re fine. But you’re not. Or, you won’t be. You’re supposed to help Y/N with her tryout video today right??!!!”

Aone’s heart picked up speed, thinking about being alone with you again. He nodded. “Yes. Why? Is she alright?”

“Cancel it.”

Beside Kenji, Kanji bounced on his own two feet, repeating the brunette with wide eyes. “Cancel it, cancel it, cancel it!”

Aone looked confused. His best friends knew how much this plan meant to him, which included getting closer to you as a step, so he didn’t understand. Besides, they’d just spoken about it this morning and everything was fine.

“I don’t understand…” Takanobu tilted his head to the side curiously.

Kenji huffed. “Just trust us!!”

“Give me your phone Aone-senpai, I’ll call Y/N and cancel for you!!!” Kogane shouted, bustling in between the two of them to search Aone’s open locker…… for his phone, no doubt.

Aone stepped to the side so that the setter could search his locker, knowing his phone was in his pocket. “Kogane-san, please calm down. Is anyone hurt or injured?”

His friends looked frazzled as hell.

“No one is fucking hurt, you big giant. Just trust us when we say you need to cancel helping her film her stupid thing. Tell her to get a camera stand or pay one of the film geeks or something—“

“No.” Aone growled unintentionally. He didn’t mean to, he just really disliked the idea of another guy spending hours with the love of his life. Hewanted to help her. Aone removed the venom from his next words. “I want to see her, Futakuchi-san. You know that. What has gotten into you two—“

Kenji pinched the bridge of his nose, interrupting. “—Kusa said..... that apparently, Y/N’s cheer uniform had an issue with the order. The University—our University— sent her a uniform that’s a size or two too small. But she still has to submit her freaking audition in it and then they’ll apparently send her a new one, so—“

“I’ve seen Y/N in a cheerleading uniform before.” Aone stated calmly, feeling better now that he knows you weren’t involved in some incident or something. “You both really expect me to cancel on Y/N because of that?” Ridiculous, Aone wanted to add, but he didn’t. He tried his best to ignore, however, the way he felt a small stir in his lower belly because he recalled seeing you in the normal Date Teko cheer uniform. Not only is that cheer uniform what you were wearing the first time he ever laid eyes on you, but every male in this school—including the Mountain Man—thought you looked unbelievably hot in it.

Before you noticed him, Aone almost ran into a pole once because he specifically saw you stretching in uniform outdoors with your team. Kenji pulled him from the pole’s path in the knick of time.

Another time, When you were dating, Aone had gotten a huge boner after school just because he had received a text from him asking if your bra was showing through your white cheer top, with an attached photo of your chest. It was, in fact, transparent and Aone couldn’t think straight for the rest of his own practice. Coach was really mad at him that day….

Anyway, the point is that Aone has seen you in your attractive cheer uniform plenty of times. Perhaps his friends forgot?

“Aone-san, we can tell her that you’re sick, or that there is a family emergency or something, come—“ Kenji grabbed his best friend’s arm, steering him toward the exit. Aone let his friend turn him so that he does’t over exert himself like he usually did when he tried to move the all-muscle man, but he stopped just before they blocked the exit.

‘Aone! TRUST ME. You cannot handle—“

“—I can and I will. Kenji. Please let me g—“

Just then, you entered through the exit doors a few feet away that Kenji was about to lead you out of, cutting Takanobu off and immediately heading his way.

“Oh, hey, Aone! There you are!”

Aone:

Aone Takanobu can truly say—if he could speak—that he will never even question Futakuchi again.

Kenji whistled under his breath when he saw you too. “Too late.” he muttered, folding his arms and a blush setting in. “See you at home.!” The brunette yelled as he grabbed Kanji, who was still searching the white haired’s locker—with one hand, using his other to plug his nose because was trickling a bit of blood.

Upon seeing you, Aone felt as if all of the air in his lungs had been shaken out of his body like a damn salt shaker. He had to physically rub his eyes to make sure they were functioning correctly, and after he did that and you were still walking towards him, Aone pinched his own forearm, hard.

Still, you were walking toward him.

Fuck. This is real then.

Holy mother of God, Aone thought in a panic. This isn’t a wet dream?! It can’t be. He’s never seen that uniform on you before.

You stopped in front of Aone, ignoring the handful of boys that were drooling over you in your potential new post secondary school uniform.

“Ugh. I said medium, not extra small. If I didn’t need a scholarship to make up for my grades, I wouldn’t go to this damn school. Just for this.” You grumbled, walking right past Aone to his locker that was left wide open. Without thinking, you reached inside and collected his huge Date Tech Volleyball jacket, swinging it over your shoulder and zipping it up. Aone had so many of these, and you loved them. You could practically hear the collective disappointed-male groan when you covered yourself completely. It reached the bottom of your kneecaps.

When your eyes fluttered closed in pleasure because you were wrapped up in the most incredible warmth and scent in the world—Aone’s—you realized you had basically just performed theft, you looked down at your white cheer shoes sheepishly. “Oh my gosh. Sorry, Aone. Habit, I guess.” You apologized, too nervous to look up at him. Horny Mountain Man was in no position to respond coherently anyway, even if he didn’t want you wearing his stuff.

Which, for the record, always makes me happy as fuck.

Water. He thought. Water is what always helps in times like this.

“Please, second.” Aone blurted, turning quickly to speed walk down the hallway to the nearest water fountain. It was tucked away in a corner to where he was hidden, so Aone alternated between taking big, big, very big gulps and splashing water on his face. Repeat.

You were wearing a form-fitting yellow cheer uniform. It said Pirates across the chest that it squeezed, exposed your entire stomach, and then yellow met your waist again in a really short pleated skirt (skort) that was barely covering your ass. Just seeing you in it for two seconds before you put on his jacket alone made Aone store that visual in his spank bank for tonight. Uh, for tonight x3.......or tonight x4........and then tomorrow morning, ……because the way that uniform fit you made him fantasize about doing every position in it….... ugh, Aone splashed more water on his face again.

Back at Aone’s locker alone, You were so embarrassed in this uniform. You look like an absolute fool in a uniform so tiny, what the fuck?

Hearing a group of hurried footsteps coming from your left, from your two places you both turned to see a group of the biggest fuckboys in the school turning down this hall, searching for what Aone just knew was you with expectant expressions, positively gutted when they saw a giant jacket on you.

You narrowed your eyes at the group in a glare, giving them a sickeningly sweet smile. “Hi, Fuck off 😊🖕.”

“Heya to you too, Y/N.” Said the guy you briefly gave a chance to before you met a real man like Aone. The baseball player. He had such a disgusting grin on his face, as if he was looking to bring you home or something. As if.

Seemingly correct in deciphering what his look means, You had to hold down your lunch when he said, “Good luck with your online tryouts today. Care to show us that new uniform of yours?” He wiggled his eyebrows at you.

“Nope, thanks. I just want to send my audition tape and solidify my future never seeing your ass again.” You snapped back.

“Ouch, Y/N. We just heard it’s tryouts for the cheer squad today, and wanted to give all you ladies our sincerest thanks for being what awoke our hormones in first year. Is that so bad?”

“Gross. You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re newly single, right? C’mon, I’m leaving the country after graduation for baseball. Consider it a parting gift,” The baseball player licked his lips and took one tiny step toward you. “I can stretch it out for you,”

Takanobu—who was frozen in horny-for-Y/N-mode by the water fountain—was snapped out of it as soon as a threatening movement was made toward you.

Aone understands very well that this was not a good position for any female to be in, but especially not the most important female in his life.

Immediately, he was in front of you, completely shielding you from the other boys behind his broad, muscular body.

Not knowing how the fuck this giant man can move that fast again, you couldnt help the breath of relief that left you, knowing you didn’t have to fight this battle anymore. Your knight has arrived. Your ex-knight. ☹️

“I’m sure you all have something else to do this afternoon.” Aone stated, trying to be as civil as possible.

The baseball player threw his head back and laughed. “I definitely do…..but she’s just a regular student, not a cheerleader…… so it can wait. Oh, and—totally forgot to welcome you to the dumped-by-a-hot-cheerleader club—we’re all in it.” The baseball player gestured toward the group of boys he was in and they all laughed.

Aone felt his heart break a bit, but his anger didn’t allow him to falter. Girlfriend or not, these boys didn’t respect the love of his life or any female in this school, and it was obvious. Nothing made him more upset.

“Come on bro, tell her to take off the jacket, we all wanna see her new uniform—“ the creep tried taking a step around Aone to get to you, so Aone stepped forward blocking that path, pulling you behind him again.

“Take one more step toward her.” Aone growled in the smoothest voice. You couldn’t see it, but from experience with creeps trying to hit on you when you were together, you could tell Aone had his absolutely terrifying expression on and fit didn’t even mean to. The biggest teddy bear... that turned into your tough grizzly without the tiniest bit of hesitation if it meant protecting you.

“I dare you.” Aone added, for good measure.

Needless to say, like always, the group of creepos saw how serious this giant could be, and then scurried away faster than they came.

It turns out they’re not a fan of Aone’s dares.

You resisted every nerve in your body from acting on your instincts and grabbing Takanobu and kissing him as thanks for protecting you. Fuck, you just fell deeper in love with the man and if we are being g honest, hearing him become so respectfully protective like that, not only made your heart clench but your pussy clench as well.

Aone turned to you and bowed in apology for speaking for you.

You waved him off and thanked him wising words as you physically pressed your thighs together to keep yourself from throwing yourself on your ex and begging him to fuck your brains out like you wanted him to. Like he always did. Truth be told, you are so turned on.

Needing fresh air, right the fuck now—you grabbed Aone’s arm and he allowed you to pull him outside to the empty football field since school was over.

You found a small corner where you’d be hidden from prying eyes and it was a flat enough green surface for jumps and tumbling passes, so you liked it. you asked your beautiful Ex if it was fine to set up here for the audition. Daylight hit the area perfectly.

Takanobu nodded, but then a slight blush fell over his face and you didn’t follow exactly why that was. “What is it?” You ask, using your hand as a visor.

“Ummm,… this spot is fine Y/N. But I just realized that I forgot my flash in the photography studio.”

You shrugged. “Oh! That’s it? Okay, that’s fine. I can just wait here and start stretching.”

Aone’s pale cheeks darkened even more. You tried not to swoon. Oh my gosh he looked cute! But you still didn’t get why forgetting his flash made him so shy.

“Aone, what is it? Is there something wrong?”

Takanobu looked away, willing himself to speak with conviction. “No, I apologize again. It’s just….” He willed himself to meet your eyes, because that’s what his plan told him to do. “Do you mind accompanying me? Uh, to retrieve the flash? I can carry everything, that’s not a problem, but— I just don’t feel comfortable leaving you out here alone just in case that group comes back and I’m not around.”

You inside:

You sucked in a breath, trying so so sooo fucking hard not to shout how much you loved this man! If you were still dating, you would tackle him and showering his face with kisses right now, then probably tug him somewhere so you could drop to your knees and suck the soul out of his dick—that’s how much you loved him.

“Oh, that’s so sweet.” You nodded, pressing your thighs together as you walked his side, in his jacket.

***

2 hours later, Aone is almost done filming your tryout tape.

In the beginning, He managed to distract himself on his phone while you stretched, only stealing glances at you when you were in your splits (at which time Aone accidentally bit his tongue).

Then the middle section of filming wasn’t sooo bad, you had to tell the camera about yourself—in which Aone thought you looked so pretty and thought you didn’t list enough of your good qualities, but he wouldn’t interject to tell you that— he filmed you doing a few technical jumps, some sideline hand-only cheers that you yelled out, and a few tumbling passes, which Aone was able to handle if he was thinking about dead squirrels like Futakuchi taught him. But that was as far as the dead squirrel strategy went for him. It had served its purpose and now Aone was running out of steam, because you had just completed the flyer positions section: where you had to contort your amazing body in flexible positions that literally made his urges to fuck you hard come back, God damnit…

Even though that was tough, Takanobu had a plan to follow and it included being able to spend time with you like this, so he had to put on a brave face and endure it. He was so proud of himself so far—even if he had to overheat in the volleyball sweater he had to put on to hide his protruding cock. It was sunny, not hot, which is good. And it did a great job hiding his crotch, so he wouldn’t dare take it off.

But truth be told, a part of Aone Takanobu felt absolutely foolish for not taking his friend’s offer earlier and cancelling on you. If seeing a cheerleading uniform on you in the past almost made him walk into a pole, I don’t think anyone could imagine how seeing you in a much sexier, college cheerleader uniform that is 2 sizes too small makes him feel now. Fuck.

During the final portion of your tryout video, you had to showcase the choreography they taught you, and well, Aone was…………. He was……………

He was……………………

A/N: Imma try to just come out and say it.

During your dance segment…………………

You are of course, wearing that tiny new uniform, and Mountain Man is so fucking in love and horny for you, and you were also horny so you were unintentionally giving him bedroom eyes, and your dance for the tryout was semi provocative, and you are so flexible and bendy, slightly sweaty from over exertion, and did Aone mention that you are wearing that tiny uniform????

Yeah, this white haired beauty was going to cum untouched.

Why? How? Well:

“So, Aone, for this part, I need you to tell me how I’m doing, Okay? I know you don’t know cheer very well but just in this dance section if I look sloppy or Im going too fast, I’d appreciate the feedback since my future relies on this. Is that Okay?”

The white haired beauty grunted in agreement, the sound actually hurting his throat because it was so dry.

You smiled at him sweetly.

You looked so fucking cute, LostyAone.exe stopped working.

“I need you to make sure the camera is getting my entire body, Okay? So that the judges can judge my footwork too. Can you pan down to make sure you’re comfortable with the movement?

Using the camera, Aone panned down liked you asked and nearly died. He was glad his eyes were hidden behind the camera because they just about fell the fuck out when he caught a really good glimpse of your delectable ass under your cheer skirt. Inside his brain, dozens of little control-panel Aone’s erupted in chaos, running around his brain with towels trying to blow out the raging inferno in there.

SHE IS SO FUCKING SEXY, His mind yelled at him, as if he needed any more of a reminder. TOO SEXY, it repeated, and Aone’s dick twitched angrily in his pants.

DEAD SQUIRRELS. DEAD SQUIRRELS. DEAD—OH, SHE’S SMILING AT US.

Takanobu briefly thought about the fact that this footage was only going to be seen by your prospective cheer captains, coaches, and himself— but he couldn’t help but wonder how he was going to edit all of this together in the time frame he promised he would with only one hand. The incessant desire he had to pump his cock to the look of you in that tiny uniform was practically all-consuming. So when he has to stare at constant footage of you alone in his room this weekend, well............. he’d probably need to take more breaks than he’s willing to admit. He needed this to end, and quick.

“So there is one move, Aone, that I need you to make sure that part gets a tiny close-up of. It’s this part where I flip why hair like this, then I have to run my hands from my neck dowwwwwwwn my body slowly and back up to do a mini chest pump… but that move I am switching it to a mini chest squeeze…, because the coach said she wants her team this year to have a lot of sex appeal and the ability to make the dances their own, so I thought I’d add that to show her I have what she’s looking for. What do you think?”

Wait, Sex appeal? Chest squeeze? As in, squeeze your breasts?! Like how? And Did Y/N just insinuate that she needs more sex appeal ? More than she already…….………..huh🥵? Aone gulped in disbelief. If you had any more sex appeal, Y/N……….. he wanted to tell you. I’d be an absolute dead man. He already was.

You took Mountain Man’s silence as confusion. “Do you not get what I’m saying? Here, I’m thinking something like this.”

And then, if things weren’t bad enough, you showed this poor poor hanging-on-by-a-single-thread-of-composure Aone—the move that you’re referring to in slow motion so that he could recognize it in the dance:

Takanobu was going to lose his mind. Inside, he was all:

And he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he has what you just did on film.

Aone’s dick throbbed relentlessly in his uniform pants, practically having a pounding heart attack of its own. Luckily, it was hidden under his jacket, telling him loud and clear that this was all he could handle from under there.

“Umm,” Aone started shakily, turning his back to you and scanning the field. He thanked the heavens because he saw the girls entire soccer team starting practice really close to where they were filming, so if anything were to happen and those boys came back to bother you, you could just walk right over to the big group and the coaches. He wouldn’t be gone long anyway.

Not with how worked up he was.

Not even remembering what excuse he made because all of his brain blood resided in his cock right now, whether he said he needed to go to the bathroom or fucking Pluto he doesn’t know—but he finds comfort in the fact that whatever he said, you responded unsuspectingly, saying,

“Oh Okay, sure! I needed a break anyway!” you plopped down on the grass in fatigue.

Good.

Everything in Aone’s mind was a blur until he was inside one of the stalls in the empty boys volleyball locker room, his right hand down his pants before he could even think to unbutton or pull down a zipper, stroking his needy length.

“Ohhhh my God,” Aone sighed, using the immense amount of pre cum on his dick as lubrication. His dick was twitching in his palm as he stroked.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” chanted the middle blocker who does NOT use profanity regularly, shutting his eyes as tight as they could go. Immediately, images of you met the inside of his dark lids, especially this image: over and over and over.

So horny he wasnt even thinking clearly, Mountain Man immediately reached for his camera hanging on a necklace around his neck with one large hand. He immediately scrolled to the dance footage and moaned when your beautiful face and figure met the screen. He stroked himself through the dance you just did that wasn’t even the official dance yet, lidded eyes staring at your pretty face and amazing body in that fucking uniform. A hand job has never felt so knee-buckling.

He replayed the footage.

She’s so hot. Stroke harder. Rewind. Replay. She’s so fucking hot. Stroke faster. Rewind. Replay. She’s so UNBELIEVABLY fucking hottttttttttt. Fuck my hand. Replay, replay, replay.

Within 50 seconds of starting, Aone was releasing so hard into his hand that he was grateful the camera was around his neck because the force of his orgasm made it slip out of this hand.

Breathing heavily as if he had just run a fucking marathon, it was only one more minute later that Aone felt himself hardening again, thinking of you and needing another release. Home. His dick chanted. He needed to go home. Takanobu was so horny for you that he guiltily fantasized about taking the bra you left at his house all that time ago out so that he could paint it white and possibly fuck it, but he somehow thought that was disrespectful and felt a little ashamed for thinking of you so inappropriately while looking at your footage, so he decided not to do that again. Mountain Man cleaned up with a napkin, but didn’t move to leave just yet. He knew himself better than that, so he wrapped his hand around his pre cum lubed cock again, just waiting.

He loved you for so much more than just your physical appearance—Aone knew that—but sometimes how hot you were put him through a loop. Clearly, considering he’d just jerked himself off in his locker room in 55 seconds and was ready to do it again. Unbelievable. You are breathtakingly beautiful.

I can’t believe Y/N….. gave me a chance— What could the most beautiful woman in the world have seen in me? What am I doing trying to get her back, have I SEEN HER? As Aone was greeted with his self-deprecating thoughts again, he thought about your gorgeous face. This made Takanobu began thrusting up into his wet hand impatiently.

She’s so caring. And so loving. And such a force to be reckoned with, God I want to put a ring on her finger and cherish her forever.

Even his self deprecating thoughts couldn’t take him out of how far gone he already was, he almost forgot that he actually had to take off his pants unless he wanted to ruin them completely and chance you seeing him walk back out with a giant cum stain.

With an upsetting growl because his pleasure had to wait a millisecond, Aone roughly unbuttoned, unzipped, and shoved down his pants and boxers, moving so that when he came it would aim where he wanted it to down the toilet. His hand found his aching cock again and he resumed pumping, Aone squeezing at the base and tip and fucking his own fist. He felt just as worked up as the time you relentlessly teased him while studying, but this time you hadn’t even touched him once. He couldn’t believe it.

But then, well, he remembered it was you, so he could.

He loved you for years without you even knowing his name, so logically he knows that seeing you bend and bounce and do the splits in a small cheerleading uniform can easily make him cum in his pants unprovoked.

I want to make love to her soooo badly, Aone thought, feeling a little guilty for thinking of his ex so lewdly. I’d stick my cock so deep inside her unmatched pussy and hear her moan my name so loud until she was having one of her hard shuddering orgasms around me that Aone always managed to give that made his thrusts stutter, fuck fuck fuck. Aone thought about moving those tiny shorts that are connected to your skirt aside and pounding into your tight hole, pinching your nipples and sucking a hickey on your sweet skin. Ugh, he was practically pounding into his first now. It almost hurt, but hurt in a good way. He needed this. There is absolutely no better feeling in the world than being inside you, so he tried to remember it and pretend that’s what he was doing to the best of his ability to throw himself over the edge faster. It worked. His entire body trembled.

Aone bit his juicy bottom lip, actively keeping growls in his chest because he felt so carnal. He wanted you soooooooooo bad, and if you two were still together right now and you verbally agreed, thrice—you’d be in this stall with him, your legs wrapped around his waist as he,— oh god, just the mere flash-thought of you in here with him made Aone thrust into his hand even harder, thinking about your perfect ass under that small yellow skirt, how perfect your tits would look when you freed them out from under that constricting small cheer top (but kept the skirt on), and he thought about how wrecked you’d look because you both knew such a big guy like Aone would need at least three or four rounds until he was sated and you were always so fucking willing for him—

Aone let out a growl he’d been holding in as he immersed himself in the dreams, thinking about how fuck-hot you are when you dance, how amazing your breath sounds when its short and calling his name, the look of that chest squeeze and peek-a-boo’s you practically killed him with out there—and not before long Mountain Man was subject to an array of pleasure zaps shooting from his groin up his spine, making Aone close his mouth and let out a pretty loud “MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..” As he shot cum after cum, spritz after spritz, into the toilet. His second orgasm was so intense that he needed to grab the top of the stall wall next to him with his clean hand to keep himself upright, because his knees were shaking.

Trying to catch his breath and calm down, Aone stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes until his heart beat regulated somewhat. Even though it felt like forever, it had only been maybe 5 minutes since he’d left you on the field chilling. Not enough time for you to even believe that he was pleasuring himself. It couldn’t have been enough time.

Takanobu cleaned up in a hurry—washing his hands four times before returning to you, feeling a little bit lighter—but not enough to say he is satisfied. Considering the fact that he didn’t have sex, Mountain Man would need a few more rounds with his hand to be satisfied. Mountain Man is a big guy and even though he is the kindest person on earth and thinks about buying you flowers and holding your hand, when he’s horny he needs a lot to satiate that hunger.

***

Aone returned to you only 6 minutes after he left, and right away you made his dick semi-hard again, looking so beautiful when you accepted his apology.

“Don’t worry about it, Aone. If I haven’t said it enough.... I really appreciate your help. Is there anything I can do to repay you?”

Takanobu bit back a groan because yes, there was a lot you could do to repay him. Starting with giving him one more chance..... but he couldn’t ask that of you. In any case, he knew what the answer would be right now.

“No, I’d like nothing in return. I am glad I could help a friend, Y/N.” he offered you a slight smile that made you feel all fuzzy inside.

You wanted to melt, he is so sweet, even after you shattered his heart. Your heart was swelling and you couldn’t wait to leave him, just so that you could go home to cry your eyes out for the man you let go of.

“We should finish. It’s getting late.” You collected your emotions and shook out your limbs to prepare yourself for the last section of your tryout video.

***

You performed the dance section even sexier than Aone could’ve imagined, and it made Mountain Man absolute putty. Due to the events that took place in the locker room not too long ago, Aone was able to get past his horny mind numb to recognize that his heart was exploding for you—for other reasons. His heart was bursting due to pride.

He was so proud of you.

You weren’t his girlfriend anymore, but you were still an absolute inspiration to him in that you always chased your dreams. Here he was, giving up volleyball, and here you are—killing your own audition in an uncomfortable costume. Wow. Aone would be sure to edit the most amazing tryout video for you to the best of his ability so that the team would be absolute fools not to give you a scholarship. If you didn’t get it, he’d find some weird way of secretly paying for your schooling anyway, if it came down to it. He loved you that much. But he just knew you’d make it.

When the last take was filmed and all was said and done, Aone was both positively enamoured and positively hard, of course. You looked beyond sexy and flushed, and when he gave you his water and you drank it, some droplet missed your mouth, skidding down your cheek and disappearing into your cleavage. Mountain Man just about needed to run back to the bathroom at that point, but it was time to go home anyway.

You changed and Kusa picked you up, waving to Aone and thanking him with a hug before leaving.

Aone sat in his car for 5 minutes once you left, his eyes closed and his head resting on the headrest, just trying to figure out how he would live with these feelings. He didn’t know if he could. A million questions jumped to the forefront of his mind:

How could someone be so beautiful, so perfect in every way to him?

What did you even see in him the first time?

Is it even worth it to try again?

What happens if his plan fails?

What would he do?

And, because his dick wanted to throw in a question as well: How fucking amazing did you look today?

Is it even possible to be this attracted to someone? Fuck.

Aone’s dick twitched in his pants as thoughts of your pretty smile while you cheered tonight filled his mind, alerting him once more that he has suffered through enough for a lifetime and he needs release again.

Aone raced home after that, unable to get your brilliant laugh and your perfect ass in that skirt out of his mind the entire time.

He’s a mess.

An aroused, lovesick, unmistakably heartbroken mess.

———————————

Taglist: @galagcica @chaichai-the-weeb @nairobiisqueen @bisasterrr @juminly @simply-not-the-same @marvelousbakugou @qyuanon

Outtake #18: CLICK HERE!

#aone takanobu x you #aone takanobu stories #aone takanobu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu boys #haikyuu!!#hq headcanon #aone x reader #aone x y/n #haikyuu headcanons #hq headcannons #haikyuu headcannons #koganegawa kanji #kenji futakuchi #haikyuuwritersnet

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pi-cat000 · 4 years ago

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Girl who made the night sky: p5

NOTE: so I started writing this again this year but didn’t get very far. Here’s what I wrote if anyone was interested. I might post it on ao3 as well, not sure.

Summery: To return home Shikako splits herself infinitely across dimensions. A fault in one of the splits results in a discorporated Shikako stranded in the Naruto canon-verse.

Part 3, Part 4

Her alarm goes off just as the sun begins to peak between the buildings opposite her apartment block. Sakura roles over to glare at the thin beam of light filtering through her window, catching in floating dust particles. Somewhere in the dark of her mind Kako shifts with amusement, prodding at her sluggish thoughts, pushing them into a state of awareness.

/Morning./ The word is said slowly, echoing with a lazy laughter. Sakura scowls, flopping over to hit the snooze on her alarm, yawning. She is still getting used to waking up at dawn and is thus completely reliant on her alarm to shake her from her sleep. A real shinobi would have enough control to wake up whenever they desired.

/Practise makes perfect,/ Kako says as if guessing the direction of her thoughts.

“Easy for you to say,” Sakura mutters, dragging herself up and yawning again. There is more idle amusement from Kako.

/Have a good day./

Slowly, the impression of Kako fades into the neutral baseline of just-Sakura, signalling that the other was asleep.

“I will,” Sakura comments in her renewed alone-ness.

Kako now slept during the day, leaving Sakura to her own devices. Whatever that not-dream had been, it had disturbed Kako enough that she now spent most of her ‘awake’ time watching over Sakura while she slept. This left only a few scant hours in the evening for discussion, conversation and hanging out together. Despite only having Kako around for a few months, Sakura already misses the other’s presence. Though their interactions had always been limited, reduced to scattered sentences and the occasional emotion, just having Kako listen to her ramblings or watch as she walked to and from the academy, studied or completed whatever other task she had set herself. Funny how much of a difference just having someone around and interested made even the most mundane parts of life.

Discouraged by her own solitary thoughts, Sakura contemplates returning to bed and sleeping an extra hour. Not like Kako would know if she did. The notion passes quickly. Kako would be disappointed and the thought of disappointing Kako make her sad. Also, she was pretty sure it was dangerous for her and Kako to sleep at the same time. Sakura’s not an idiot. Even if Kako had yet to outright say it, she could put two and two together. Something bad had happened during the nightmare other than just giving them a fright.

...

The rest of the morning progresses according to her new schedule. She dresses and packs her bag. With her collection of notebooks steadily increasing, it was starting bulge in the middle. The sooner she figured out how to properly make storage scrolls the better.

Next, she shuffles down to the kitchen, pulling together a meal with the correct amount of nutrients. Now Sakura is waking up before her mom, she has been forced to plan her own meals. Kako had been very helpful in that department, pushing her towards the type of diet she would need to help with muscle growth and keep her energy levels high throughout the day. It didn’t taste particularly nice, but it was functional, and she couldn’t help but wonder if the other non-clan kids knew about this sort of stuff. Meal planning was something they’d touched on in class but not something Sakura had bothered applying to her day-to-day life. Sure, she’d always tried to eat healthy but, like most things ninja related, there was a lot more to physical conditioning than just that being healthy. It had only been a week but she has already noticed a marked improvement in her daily energy levels.

...

Sakura closes the door her apartment just as she begins to hear her parents start to shuffle around, preparing for their own workday. She takes a second to breath in the cool morning air before heading towards the old academy training grounds.

When she arrives the training area is empty like it usually is. Not a lot of academy students bothered coming out so early, especially not to this training spot which was in an awkward location. She hadn’t even known it existed till Kako pointed it out.

Another yawn.

A long sigh.

Sakura begins her warmup stretches, trying not to let the silence of her own mind bother her too much.

She is maybe halfway through the revised exorcize routine that Kako put together for her, when movement at the edge of the training field catches her attention.

It startles her enough that she almost trips through the final set. If Kako were awake Sakura might have had some warning as Kako was usually the one to sense and alert her to people approaching unexpectedly. Maybe she should work on her spatial awareness or lack thereof. She’ll add it to the list.

As it is, she thankfully doesn’t trip and embarrass herself because the person approaching is very familiar.

“Sasuke-kun!” She can’t help but call an enthusiastic greeting, waving. Sasuke freezes on approach, staring his usual blank stare. He blinks, expression shifting ever so slightly to surprise. Well, as surprised as someone as cool as Sasuke can be.

“Hello!” What were the chances of running into Sasuke outside of school hours? Practically zero. Ino would have a fit.

Saskue about-faces and walks in the opposite direction.

“Wait!” She starts to follow as the other quickly disappears into the trees encircling the training grounds.

“Do you want to train…” She hesitates, slowing, “with me…?”

Does she want Sasuke to see her huffing and puffing as she tries to make it past her tenth lap of the field? Her stamina is less than impressive and Sasuke always placed in her class’s top three when it came to combat and physical ability. She stops following. No way was she letting Sasuke see her like this.

If Kako was right, and she usually was, she would start seeing a physical improvement in another weeks time.

She pouts, trying not to feel too unmotivated. Maybe…hopefully, she’ll see Sasuke out here again and ask to train then? Then she wouldn’t be a total embarrassment. Yes, a prefect plan. She resumes her exercises. Before Kako had come along, catching up to Sasuke would have seemed like an insurmountable task. Now Sakura’s seen what a real shinobi is capable of and said shinobi believes she is capable of the same things, it doesn’t seem as impossible. Goal reaffirmed, she tackles the rest of the morning with renewed energy.

...

Her day progresses as per usual. Sakura sits in class, takes notes, and revises on past topics when Iruka deviates between teaching and crowd control. When lunch break starts, she takes it as an opportunity to sit around the side of the building and examine her sealing notes. Away from her noisy peers, she has a chance to sort through all the stuff she’s been learning and figure out what questions she wants to ask Kako in those few hours they have together in the afternoon.

“Why do these seals use a bunch of descriptive kanji while this one is just a collection of stylistic lines?”

She mutters to herself, scanning the copies of Kako’s seal and her copies of Iruka’s notes on storage scrolls. The storage scrolls are easy enough to understand. The symbols and lines follow a logical progression, building on the basics she’d learnt while studying explosive tags. Kako’s seal is different…very different. Instead of easy to follow connections between the function and kanji, Kako’s seal is a simple circle, spiral and tomoki. Nothing else…No hint at what the lines might mean.

….

...

/Seal is collapsed…simplified. Needs expanding./

Is Kako’s somewhat confusing answer. After spending most of her lunch, then the following lesson mulling the question over, this is less than satisfying.

“What do you mean by needs expanding?” There is a long pause and Sakura waits for Kako to find the right words and energy to talk. Kako could almost communicate in full sentences now but it was still somewhat stilted.

/Not the full seal…simplified…smaller./

Sakura frowns, staring at her desk. Strewn across it are piles of notes, several bottles of ink she’s been infusing with charkha, and blank sealing paper. She had been half asleep at the time but she vaguely recalls how, on the night of Kako’s arrival, the seal had been a lot bigger, stretching across almost all her visible skin.

“You mean this is only a small part of the seal and there’s more that I can’t see.” A wave of warm encouragement has Sakura continuing, “No, it’s more than that…all the seal is here it’s just…. just smaller…symbolic of the larger seal.”

/Compressed./ There’s a warm swell of pride like she’s just understood some tricky concept Kako’s been trying to impart

“Well …then how do I study it? How do I un-compress it?”

/An expansion seal./

She groans, “So…I need another seal to look at this seal.”

/Hmmm./

“Let me guess: That’s complicated as well.”

/Basics first./

Sakura rests her head on the desk, sighing.

#DOS #dreaming of sunshine #Shikako Nara #Alternate Universe - Gardens #wafflelate's gardens verse #sharing a mind #sakura #naruto #fanfiction of fanfiction of fanfiction #end of year WIPs

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zotash · 4 years ago

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Discussing the most common arguments against Zoro x Tashigi

I realized I’ve been seeing the same criticisms over and over again, on forums, Twitter, Reddit etc. for almost a decade now, so I decided to make a comprehensive post to discuss them. Yes, I have a lot of free time these days.

As a disclaimer, these are just my opinions and there might be other ZoTash fans who think differently. This is not against the people who just don’t like this ship because it’s not their cup of tea. Saying “it’s not my thing” is totally valid. I only want to discuss arguments that are repeatedly used against ZoTash that make no sense to me, and explain why.

1. “People only ship Zoro with Tashigi because of Kuina”

Okay, what does this even mean? I see this a lot but I think it has at least a couple of different interpretations:

Interpretation no. 1: “People only ship Zoro with Tashigi because they think she’s Kuina” -> No. I’ve always believed Kuina is dead and is not Tashigi, mainly because of the following reasons:

Oda drew Kuina's dead body and her grave, where her father brings news of Zoro and has laid her training katana to rest. This is all in the manga.

Kuina and Tashigi canonically have different ages (Kuina would be 22 and Tashigi is 23) and they have different birthdays, that come from readers’ suggestions in SBSs.

Oda drew Tashigi as a child in an SBS and she looks nothing like Kuina.

Zoro's dream and backstory would lose all meaning if Kuina were still alive, as Kuina’s death is basically his cornerstone.

Interpretation no. 2: “People only ship Zoro with Tashigi because Tashigi reminds Zoro of Kuina” -> Is this implying we think Zoro was in love with Kuina and he can’t get over it so he’s projecting Kuina onto Tashigi? Personally, I don’t think Zoro felt anything for Kuina other than friendship and admiration. And they were 10 and 11... It could have been a childhood crush at best, not actual romantic love.

It’s a fact that Tashigi reminds Zoro of Kuina, but Zoro has gotten over it and doesn’t consider Tashigi a “copycat” anymore (as per Oda’s own words). Despite what some may believe, Kuina doesn’t really feature in most of the ZoTash ship discussion. Yes, she’s at the center of Zoro and Tashigi’s main misunderstanding, but their relationship has progressed past the “omg she looks like Kuina” phase now.

2. “Tashigi is a marine, her and Zoro being together would not work.”

I think people saying this should first of all re-read the series, because they are missing the entire point of One Piece – that is to tear down any artificial divide imposed by society/the goverment/tradition when it’s an obstacle to freedom, including freedom to love.

Luffy and the Strawhats with their actions are the catalysts for this. Marine and Pirates won’t matter in the end, the only thing that will matter is whether to side with the new Dawn brought along by Luffy or oppose it. And I think Tashigi (with Smoker) will side with the good side, given the direction their characters have been going in.

Once Zoro and Tashigi’s pirate/marine labels wash away, what remains are two individuals who are very similar, have chemistry, and share the same ideals and the same passion for swordsmanship. So, yes, in my opinion it would work.

As for Zoro, I’ve seen people say that being with Tashigi would go against his “pirate code” and I’m like– what? This is not about someone leaving their crew or disobeying their captain. Tashigi has nothing to do with Zoro’s pirate code. This is about Zoro, a pirate, doing whatever he wants and making his own decisions. Which is what pirates do. And if you don’t believe me, here’s what Oda – speaking through Sanji – thinks about pirate-marine relationships:

3. “Zoro just considers Tashigi an annoyance.”

I think this argument also comes from a superficial reading of the characters and from being oblivious to tropes certain authors like Oda like to use.

First, Zoro seems to consider everyone an annoyance, including people from his own crew, because that’s part of his tough guy act. Do you also believe Zoro truly hates Sanji, since he always puts up an annoyed face with him? Again, let’s hear what Oda/Sanji has to say on the matter:

Second, I do agree that at the beginning, pre-timeskip, Zoro was truly annoyed by Tashigi. That was both for comedic effect and also how enemies-to-lovers arcs work. But things have changed since the timeskip, with Zoro not freaking out anymore at the sight of Tashigi, showing more interest in her, initiating physical contact, and taking care of her when she was injured.

Third, the bickering and the “annoyed” reaction is typical of many Oda couples or couples-to-be. Oda often likes to use the like-an-old-married-couple trope for people that are indeed going to get married or be in a relationship:

4. “Zoro has only feelings for swords.”

This always makes me laugh because I’m like, dude–

I mean, the association Tashigi = swords is so strong that on official One Piece merch she’s always represented by the kanji for “sword” 刀 while Zoro has to make do with 斬, “to cut”. And to think that 刀 is even Zoro’s own signature! Sorry Zoro, there’s a bigger sword nerd in town.

I believe Tashigi is exactly Zoro’s type also because she can understand his lifelong dedication to swordsmanship and share in it. She’s been through a very similar life experience with swords, and Zoro would only benefit from a partnership with her that allows him to expand his sword knowledge. People say Zoro only cares about swords, but if it weren’t for Tashigi he wouldn’t even know Wadō Ichimonji’s name. Swords are what connect them.

And to be honest, I find statements like “Zoro only has eyes for swords” very simplistic. He’s not a one-note, gag character. He’s capable of having complex feelings and multiple interests.

---

So, yeah. I think these four are the most frequent arguments used against this ship. I’ve also seen weirder ones, and some that really made me laugh, but they’re not worth mentioning here. Let me know if there are others worth analyzing and of course anyone is welcome to contribute to the discussion!

#zotash #zoro x tashigi #our posts #analysis #tashigi #zoro

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seiin-translations · 4 years ago

Text

2.43 S1 Chapter 3.3 - The Dog’s View and the Giraffe’s View

3. OLD BUDDY

Aoki’s 1000 IQ mind is hinted at here

Also what are the main tags for this fandom???

Translation Notes

1. Pun on Oda’s name. Here the “Shin” is 神 (god) instead of “伸” which is the first kanji in Oda’s first name

2. Okuma’s name 大隈 shares the same pronunciation as 大熊 which means “big bear”

3. The 伸 in Oda’s first name means “lengthen” or “extend”

Previous || Index || Next

“Odaaaa! I’m beggin’ you, play futsal. You can definitely be in the amateur bracket on a pro level.”

“Odacchi! Why aren’t you doing softball? You’re even more reliable than our regular shortstop. Oh, don’t be so modest. I’m not kissing your ass. What’s the point of that?”

“Oda, why volleyball of all things?”

“You don’t have to play volleyball.”

“Oda! No, Oda-Shin!” (1)

The seasons changed, and it was now midway through June. In this rainy season, Oda shook off the group of male scouts who were wearing mud-stained uniforms and jerseys and hot on his heels, and took refuge in the student council room. It sounded good for those who called it a June tradition, but for those who were targeted, it was just a dirty thing.

“I’m comin’ in. Let me hide out a little here.”

Aoki, who seemed too tall for his own good as he tucked himself on a folding chair and stared at documents, looked up. The sign reading “Vice President” stood on one corner of the desks arranged in a square.

“Oh. I can hear it from all the way in here. You’re a popular guy.”

“The member list has already been turned in. I don’t know if they’ve been told by now. Even if they didn’t, I don’t feel like doing anything other than volleyball.”

“Well, no need to be so hard on them. You should be happy that they value you so much.”

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it…I only dabbled with soccer and baseball in gym. I seriously don’t know why people are giving me so much credit.”

“Is that different from not being aware of your own ability?”

“If it’s volleyball ability, I’m more than aware of it.”

Hearing such a servile and submissive line from himself, he immediately regretted it right after he said it. Aoki was silent for only a moment while looking down at the papers.

“…Did you see who will be participating in volleyball? A whole bunch of stuff came out just now.”

He changed the topic, acting as though he hadn’t heard anything. I’m never a match for how he reads too much into things.

He pulled up the chair that was diagonally across from Aoki, the corner of the desk between them. In addition to him, there were only a pair of underclassmen officers sitting in the corner working on something.

The main event organized by the student council in the first semester, the Seiin Ballgame Festival, was coming in two weeks. The boys’ volleyball team were futilely eliminated from prefecturals at the beginning of the month, and the road to Inter-High and Nationals had just closed. Another one of the three major national championships was the “Spring Inter-High Volleyball” in January. The ballgame tournament during this period was by all rights nothing but a nuisance to their club activities, because they had to restart immediately to prepare for the prefectural qualifiers in September, right after summer vacation.

But for this year, he felt that this cushion was appreciated. He was practicing as usual, but he couldn’t quite switch gears. The handout distributed in class right after the prefecturals was undoubtedly one of the reasons. He had stuffed that handout with the title “Second Future Course Survey” into his locker without filling it in.

“It’s gonna be interesting this year.”

Aoki was handed a clipboard that holding several sheets of paper. It was the list of names for each event in the ballgame tournament.

“The ones with the double circles are pros.”

“Pro” of course didn’t mean pro athletes. It was the internal term for this ballgame tournament that referred to those who belonged to the corresponding sports club for each event. The maximum number of pros was set at three people for each team. The antonym of pro was “amateur”, and those who had experience in middle school or dropped out of their clubs were sometimes called “semi-pro.”

Classes A to F were divided vertically through the grades for a total of six teams. A supreme general would be nominated from the third-years of each team, and they would compete for overall victory with the total points from all the events. Since the captains of the main sports clubs were luckily scattered across the different classes, it was an event that got somewhat heated with the power struggles between the sports clubs.

He viewed the boys’ volleyball participant roster in order, starting from Team A. Team A didn’t have the double circle—for softball and futsal, where there were many qualifying members, there was competition among the members for the pro slots, but sadly for their division, they actually fell short of the number of slots.

“Oh, B’s got a killing.”

Team B also didn’t have any double circles, but when he looked at the remarks column, he saw that there was an awful lot of rugby team members. “So, are these remarks self-reported?” “No, the executive committee collected it, but the tally was a bit late.” “You’re spending a lot of energy on unnecessary things.” “You think so? Information gathering is fun, though.” In the remarks column, in addition to the current club the student belonged to, information such as their club activities in middle school and outstanding results in the school physical fitness test were added. If one were to see this list without knowing Aoki’s character, one might be a bit horrified.

The rugby player called Okuma of Class 2-B had a face and name that matched (he thought it was “大熊” (2), but he guessed those were the actual characters). At the level of a ballgame tournament, just having a big guy in front of the net was effective to some extent. Three rugby players over 180 centimeters in the front row might be a rather formidable opponent.

Next, Team C had three double circles in a row—3-C’s Aoki Misao ◎, 2-C’s Kanno Akito ◎, and 1-C’s Kuroba Yuni ◎.

“…What’s with this bias? Isn’t this all-star team against the rules?”

“It’s no more than three. That’s not against the rules.” Aoki said carefreely. “It’s just a coincidence that there are three people in C class this year. I didn’t manipulate that, so I don’t need you complaining about it.” Isn’t that an implicit admission that he manipulated in the other cases?

“Well, worst case scenario, I might drop out. I also got work on the management side. I’ll leave it to Kanno to cover for Kuroba.”

“Don’t drop out. It’ll be boring without you.”

When Oda said that without missing a beat, Aoki looked at him with slightly widened eyes. That unconcerned attitude of Aoki’s always irritated him for an instant.

“It’ll be interesting…We’ll definitely beat you.”

He declared provocatively. Aoki smirked from the corner of his mouth.

“We’re not going to go easy on you, you know?”

“Of course. If you hold back even just a little bit, then I’m never going to talk to you again.”

“Aw, come on, give me a break.”

Aoki was 193 centimeters, Kanno was 181 centimeters, and Kuroba was 184 centimeters. Oda remembered everyone’s numbers, which were filled out on the entry sheet for the most recent tournament. Aoki, who would undoubtedly be the tallest of all the participants in the boys’ volleyball division, was the center, and Kanno, who had a good balance between offense and defense, was placed on the side. Kuroba was still quite inconsistent and capricious, but as long as he went with the flow, he would display outstanding offensive power.

The ballgame tournament was like an escape for his feelings, and he was more of a passive participant than anything, but…he was getting a bit excited. For a small club with eight members, they could do a four-to-four minigame at most, not being able to do a proper intragroup game. Even if it included amateurs, under the rules of a proper six-person system, they can compete with that lineup. There was no other opportunity like this.

The problem was the strength of his own team, but if they had someone who they could use even just a little…he skimmed past the next two teams, D and E, to finally reach the F team he would be leading. At the top of the list was Oda Shinichiro ◎ of 3-F. About four people were chosen from each grade below, but there were no double circles besides Oda. Compared to Team C, he couldn’t help but feel discouraged.

“…Haijima?”

That name was there.

Haijima Kimichika of 1-F. He of course didn’t have the double circle.

When he looked up from the list, Aoki nodded as if to say you finally noticed that? It seemed that this was the climax of “it’s gonna be interesting.”

“I didn’t think he’d choose volleyball. Wonder what brought that on. He’s been running away from you ever since that thing happened.”

“He’s not running away from me, and wasn’t that thing because of your assault?”

“I told you, it wasn’t assault. I was just telling him to be a little more careful about how he should speak to third-years.”

“With your foot?”

“Well, the foot was unintentional.” What’s the definition of assault where you do that and don’t call it assault?

After the incident in early April of the new school year in which Aoki kicked Haijima’s butt hard, every time they happened to catch sight of each other in school, Haijima was the one who acted casual…From our point of view, it’s blatantly obvious that he’s changing his route and escaping. He was big, so he could be recognized immediately even from a distance, but he wondered if he didn’t know he stood out. If you’re just unconsciously enjoying the benefits of that height, give it to me…He thought. Even here, his desire as a captain to have Haijima on the team and his personal feelings of jealousy mixed with each other.

The first practice day for Team F was next Monday. After one week of team practice, the ballgame tournament would arrive.

“I wonder if he’s gonna come.” What kind of face would he have if he came?

“Well, he might be the type who shamelessly comes with a face that says ‘My friend signed me up for an audition without asking me.’”

“Oi oi, that’s harsh…”

Contrary to his gentle appearance, Aoki had quite a sharp tongue. According to him, he had a principle of not holding back what he wanted to say and not doing what he didn’t want to do. But if you asked Oda, there was a part of him that thought, Is that so? Are you saying everything you wanted to say to me?

“…Hey, you already handed that in, right? The future course thing…”

Even if he thought it was better to think about it later, it got stuck in his head for a long time. There were invisible pebbles strewn about. It felt like those pebbles were plugging up the holes where energy was spouting out from.

Since it was the second future course survey, there was a first one as well, but at that time there was only the choices of literature or science and national or private schools. However, this time there was a column for writing your specific university of choice. For the time being, since this was a university prep school, there was hardly anyone who chose to find a job or go to a vocational school.

There was a pause, as though the sudden topic had caught him off guard, but Aoki’s tone didn’t change when he opened his mouth.

“Oh, not yet. I haven’t decided yet.”

It was a shock to be lied to. You were the one who already handed it in. I asked while knowing it, actually.

However, all he said was, “…I see. Well, you’ve still got time.”

The rumor had also spread to Oda’s class. First choice, the Kyoto University’s faculty of law—Apparently, there was someone who peeked at Aoki’s handout that had been handed into the staff room. Who would have thought it’d be Kyodai? He was shocked that he was that smart. No, I knew that, but still.

It was at that time that he had the belated realization that until that point, he almost never talked to Aoki about anything other than volleyball. We’ve seen each other almost every day for more than two years, so isn’t that pretty weird? In the first place, volleyball was the only thing they had in common. Except volleyball, their interests didn’t intersect at all (to be precise, volleyball was Oda’s only interest). Oda only ever brought up volleyball and never asked Aoki what his interests were, or what he wanted to do in the future.

I mean, Kyodai? Supposing that we won the prefectural representative rights for Spring Inter-High, you couldn’t retire until the main tournament in January. Even if you studied for the entrance exam in your spare time while you’re not doing club activities, will you be able to get into law school at Kyoto University? ——He only thought those things and couldn’t say it aloud. Because, what would he do if Aoki announced that he was going to prioritize entrance exams and retire? He probably couldn’t see him out quietly. He felt like imposing his own convenience and telling that he couldn’t retire because they barely had enough members. No, I’m sure Aoki will prolong his retirement as long as he can and stick with me. But, that only increased his debt to him.

Hey, how do you feel about being stuck with me? If you take away volleyball, then I’m just a boring person.

“Hey, do you…enjoy being with me?”

“What?”

He sounded half-crazy, as expected. He felt like it was an extremely sissy question and wanted to crawl into a hole.

“Ah…what’s wrong, Shin? You’re acting weird.”

“Weird?”

Apparently, it was weird for him to worry about anything other than volleyball. Even he himself thought so. As far as his path after high school was concerned, he could cite a number of intercollegiate powerhouse universities he was interested in as long as it was volleyball-related. But he was at a loss as soon as he stepped away from volleyball. He wondered if he lost in the Spring Inter-High qualifiers and retired, he would finally have to find something else he wanted to do, and though it was impossible to assume that they would fail the qualifiers, the idle thought flashed across his mind. Though he still only wanted to think about volleyball right now, his mind was too distracted to focus on one thing. If anything, the time when he couldn’t only think about volleyball has arrived.

Bzzzz, the seat of the chair beneath Aoki started vibrating. “Mm, ‘scuse me,” Aoki put his hand on his behind. His hand that was as long and thin as his physique operated his phone.

“Geh, a summons text from the president. I gotta go.”

“I’m going back too. Sorry to bother you when you’re so busy.”

“Yeah, but our conversation—”

“No, no, it’s done.”

He didn’t think he was convinced, but Aoki didn’t try to dig in any further, putting his phone away and got up as Oda stood. When they stood in a line, Aoki’s shoulders would be what was in his line of sight. It was somewhat easier when they were looking at each other, but the fact that he had become accustomed to the gap in their lines of sight made him feel mixed feelings in its own way.

Oda was 163 centimeters tall. The difference in height between him and Aoki was exactly twenty centimeters. The gap hadn’t been filled at all since he entered high school. He sometimes hated that his parents really named him Shinichiro. (3)

163 centimeters was barely taller than the average height of a typical girl, and while having a small build meant having a small build, he wasn’t extremely small. In other sports, there were plenty of male athletes in the 160 centimeter range who flourished in international competitions.

But for a volleyball player, and furthermore for an attacker, it was a fatally insufficient height. Even if he could manage it in high school, it would never work beyond university. He hadn’t told anyone yet that he was going to play volleyball until high school, but he was seeing the end in himself.

Why volleyball of all things?

But…there’s only one reason for that, isn’t there?

Previous || Index || Next

#2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu #2.43 book 1 #2.43 translation #2.43 #2.43: seiin high school boys volleyball club

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obeymefanatic · 5 years ago

Photo

I went ham cause I like my chaotic crackhead joke of a human Nana Namie HSHSHSSH

“for demons, y’all sure act human. Much more human than the ones I know.”

First name: Nana, spelled with the kanji for “seven” and “beautiful.” Last Name: Namie, spelled using the kanji for “wave” and “river.”

WARNING: mentions and underlying tones of suicidal ideation, depression, and abuse. I’m depicting a very troubled character. If you are easily triggered, I suggest not reading any further. Take care of your mental health!

For someone who has the number 7 in her name, she wasn’t a very lucky gal. Born in an abusive family, she kept up with their emotional and physical abuse for years, even until she had reached adulthood. They kept using and using her, and Namie was but a butterfly whose wings were continuously cut off, until she was no more but a struggling prey caught in a spiderweb of lies.

That was, until she reached her breaking point. It was when she broke down and snapped that, the day after, she was suddenly transported to the Devildom.

Contrary to what the demon brothers expected, she was highly euphoric, as she finally saw this as an opportunity to start anew. To live a life in a surreal world that she doesn’t actually really believe to be true. (No harm in thinking that!

With that… she started to do whatever she wanted, and she surrendered her decisions to her curiosity and her needs.

Chaotic as she was, she proceeded to take the brothers’ life by a storm. Like a humongous wave and a raging river, she continued to cause chaos in her time in the Devildom, and while there were some who were overjoyed with her company, Lucifer takes the brunt of her “harmless fun,” and Lucifer was so sure that he WILL NOT care about what happens to her.

But as he watches her self-destruct, as he watches her slowly destroy herself in her smoldering and growing sense of hopelessness, of being lost and alone and afraid—-he starts to find parts of her that wasn’t such a mess, and together with the brothers, during her time in the Devildom–she starts to find something aching to a true family—a place to belong. All of the things she never had a taste of in her past life.

She never wants to leave. And Namie will make sure she will always find her way back to her home, to her Devildom family, even if she becomes a demon herself.

Some headcanons on her personality!

-talks in slang -”cool” “awesome” “that’s lit!” - the only thing she has good in her life as a human is she’s pretty. That’s what she believes, so she likes dressing up the way she wants to. - otherwise her life is pretty shitty. But she takes it in stride anyway - impulsive as shit—says yes a lot just for the joke of it - EVERYTHING is a joke - Laughs and giggles manically at the smallest of things–including things that Should Not Even Be Funny - Hides her trauma behind humor and apathy - So she’s a pretty fun and easygoing gal but underneath that is a tangled mess of issues and repressed emotions - Laughs things off like a champ - When she finds something that peaks her interest–she becomes fixated and obsessed. She clings unto the things that give her a little bit of happiness a little too much - Though she may not be the greatest role model, her ability to still smile and laugh in the face of negativity is admirable

- Not even because she’s pretending—but because she is just really tired of how sad her life is–and somehow, in the face of her hopelessness–she clung to her spite and her exhaustion and used that to vow to herself—

“ah. I don’t care anymore. I won’t care anymore. Whatever happens to me… as long as I can avoid feeling like this, then I’ll do anything.”

- After such a thought–she snapped and cast aside everything she used to be - She quit her high-maintenance job and flipped the bird to the people who hurt and abused her—after years of avoiding confrontation—let’s just say she went apeshit. - it was the night before she got zapped into the Devildom that she drank herself silly for the first time, wandered around and walked until she reached a place with no people, and continued to pass out unto the concrete floor, thinking she’ll die from how h o r r i b l e yet liberated she felt, being able to throw away a life she had tried so hard to live, even when she was suffering so, so much.

-Thinking that she was about to die, Namie started to think about the things she wanted to do in her life.

“…Come to think of it, I absolutely adored fantasy stories. Stories with demons and angels and things that don’t exist… because all this time.. All I’ve ever wanted is to escape this shitty life, to escape to a world nobody has ever been to.”

“I want to escape this…. and go somewhere far, far away.”

-The next thing she knew, she awoke to the court of the Devildom—or more like the ceiling, really. - Namie missed Diavolo’s intro because she was busy trying to have rational thoughts and keeping her guts in her stomach in the middle of her horrible hangover. - Diavolo and Lucifer had to put a stop to their act and help the poor soul, and possibly prevent her from sullying their student council hall as she starts looking like she’s gonna throw up all of her organs.

It wasn’t a great first impression on the people of Devildom, but as soon as she stepped into this unreal world filled with beautiful demons and deviously gorgeous angels (Simeon *ahem* pls) Namie finally found herself a blank slate to start over in.

It wasn’t long before she fell in love with their world, a world without humans, a world unlike anything she has ever seen before.

She never wants to leave now. But is that truly a good thing for the protagonist of this particular story?

(AKA I wanted to create an MC with issues and a deeply rooted hatred for her fellow humans, and how her experiences that eventually lead to the mess that she is right now—proceeds to heal and ultimately break off from her completely, as she learns how to be human—how to be herself—in the presence of 7 demon brothers that behaved more humanely and properly than little miss Chaos.)

In short… I wanted to depict a very troubled human who may be on the verge of insanity. Someone “at the end of the road.” But it’s not gonna end in tragedy. It’s never too late to head towards your own happy ending.

But it’s gonna be angsty, though. But what is life without a little bit of angst, and a little bit of love to balance it?

#I'm putting it under a read more because it's l o n g and I dont wanna bother people as they scroll by shshs #but yeah jesus christ i could make a comic outta this---and I just might cause I can't get her story out of my head aksjdnaskdjas #but who knows what tomorrow's me will decide to do #I don't---so whatever lmao #thefanaticdraws #thefanaticscreams #obey me! oc #obey me oc #obey me! mc #obey me mc #obey me! shall we date?#shall we date? obey me!#obey me!#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date obey me #nana namie

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tval · 3 years ago

Note

Lexi: 5, 10, 11, 12, 15, 16, 63. Anyone else: 1, 2, 4, 9, 10.

1) What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

‘Kid’, ‘Kiddo’, “Sunshine’, ‘Sunflower.’

2) What is the color of your OC’s eyes/hair/skin?

Green-grey, sandy blonde, very fair (“extra” pale ivory).

4) What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

Expressive eyes. Ear piercings (three in her left, two in her right). Looks like her older brother (more than she’d like to admit).

5) What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

Mostly casual clothes; jeans, hoodies/sweatshirts, short and long sleeved shirts. Flannel and big sweaters, too. Casual doesn’t equal frumpy, as she likes things to fit properly (jeans? they better be fitted), have a wide range of variety in colour and style, etc. Boots and sneakers (converse, don’t judge) are her go to for shoes.

It really depends on the occasion. She wouldn’t wear the same thing to a wedding as she would to a business event or on a date. But for the sake of simplicity, special occasions would entail flowing skirts, feminine blouses, lace and chiffon dresses, those women’s suits that come in really cool colours, and sweater dresses and tights for the colder months.

9) What does your OC’s bedroom look like? His/her living area?

Her bedroom’s pretty small, but comfortably so. Traditional Japanese living area with modern furniture and touches. Aside from the bed (which takes up quite a bit of space), there’s not much furniture; a little bedside table, desk, and dresser. But there’s clutter, picture frames, stacks of books and magazines…but it’s like, clean clutter? I apologize, I’m not doing a very good job at describing this. It’s so easy to visualize in my head, but writing it down? Nah. I’m going to make this easier and just provide a few links to images that sort of come close to what I’m thinking. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

10) What does your OC keep in a special drawer?

For Lexi: her first real camera, a book of Scottish fairytales, the invitation from her brother’s wedding, an egg-sized crystal that’s definitely timely totally normal (not), and a raven feather.

For the other one: an old photograph from long past days, a violet hair ribbon that’s faded and fraying at the edges, a silver pendant decorated with the Japanese kanji for ‘sunflower’.

11) What is your OC’s relationship with his/her mother?

Lexi has a very close and loving relationship with her mom. Her mom has always encouraged Lexi to be herself and to carve out a life that’s uniquely her own. There’s a lot of love and support there. Regarding certain life choices and independent decisions Lexi has made, she’s been wary but otherwise supportive.

12) What is your OC’s relationship with his/her father?

Lexi’s relationship with her dad is very much one of a tough guy with a hard exterior having a soft spot for his little girl. He’s a tad overprotective, despite Lexi no longer being a child. They have, and still do, occasionally butt heads over certain choices and aspects of Lexi’s life, but there’s never been any permanent fallout or love lost.

15) What was your OC’s childhood like?

Lexi’s childhood was pretty good, but also pretty messy. Her family as a whole moved around the country quite a bit, and every time they did it took Lexi longer and longer to adjust. Which, really, would’ve been okay since she had her parents and brothers to help her along, but she started to experience the supernatural/paranormal at a pretty young age.

Aside from all the abnormal crap she had to deal with, Lexi’s childhood was pretty good. You wouldn’t think so with the spooky shit, but you’d be wrong. Loving, encouraging parents. Two older brothers she fought with only 25% of the time (what a low percentage!), an extended family numbering in the dozens; happy, but not perfect. Good, but not without the bad.

16) What is your OC’s strongest childhood memory? Why and how as that impacted him/her?

When Lexi was around 11 years old and living in Louisiana, she had her first physical encounter with the supernatural. One summer, a few kids started to go missing in the nearby bayou (they lived in a rural part of the state). Through a series of complicated and convoluted events that would take way to long to write, Lexi has a bad encounter with something that is definitely not normal. Creepy giant reptile creature. Dead kid remains are involved. Lexi gets some trauma, killer monster get injured and leaves the area. Cops wrap everything up, deciding an alligator was behind the deaths.

How did this impact Lexi? Pretty simply. She educated herself about all this crazy shit, which eventually prompts her to become a supernatural/monster hunter.

63) How does your OC display love?

Did you want me to go on a long winded rant? Because you’re about to get a long winded rant.

Anyways.It actually depends on the person and the type of love! You know, platonic, familial, romantic, etc. But for this one, I’m going to go with how she shows ~romantic~ love.

Lexi is a very caring and loving person in general. So when it comes to the person she loves, the person she’s in love with, all she really wants is to be with them. Grandiose displays of love and overly romantic gestures? Not really Lexi’s thing. She shows her affection through little gestures; soft caresses, gentle hand holding (lacing her fingers with her significant others; rubbing small circles against her s/o’s palm), pressing herself close to her s/o’s side for the briefest of moments.

Another way that Lexi shows her love is face touching. It’s a little bit strange, but Lexi really likes to touch her s/o’s face. Cupping their cheeks, running her knuckles along their jawline; it might come off as weird or even creepy, but it’s really very soft and sweet.

And yes, most of these displays of love so far has been physical. But Lexi’s a very physically affectionate person. She likes to touch and to be touched. She’s not bad with words, but there’s so much more that can be said with actions. And sometimes words can be difficult. Certain things are hard to say, to admit, and so Lexi would rather show than tell. It’s easier for her.

I said it earlier, that Lexi doesn’t do over the top displays. But she enjoys going on dates and things like that. Going for a walk in the park, spending a quiet evening in; it doesn’t have to be super exciting or special, as long as they can be comfortable and happy in each other’s company is enough. Being together is enough. She wants her s/o to know she loves them with smothering them. Lexi sometimes worries that she is smothering, since she’s more action than words. Those worries are part of the reason a lot of her gestures are quick and brief; show the love, but show it in short bursts. Lexi’s weird in that way. Weird, but loving.

#allison1710 #asks #oc questions #oh lord this took way too long #also the other oc is a ~secret~ oc

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donotstopthisdebatenow · 4 years ago

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V3 Prologue Replay 0.1- It’s Time to Wake Up

Well, guess this is happening now.

Hello there. I figured I might as well write down things I picked up on during my replays and discussions with others, as well as some translation issues I (and many others from what I’ve seen) have noticed throughout out the game, with some fun trivia along the way too. This is mainly for the sake of my own peace of mind than anything, as I haven’t properly went through the game chapter by chapter in order recently, and I mainly compared translation as bits and pieces than going through line by line.

I will be recording the game both in English and Japanese to compare the lines and comment on differences if they seem of worth to note, which honestly most of it isn’t given that in terms of adapting the language in a natural sounding way -as a localization- they did a pretty good job. Most issues seems to come from lack of communication between the team in terms of context of some lines, but that’s mostly on the management of the team and I don’t have the insider’s knowledge beyond knowing that they were given some characters/sections of the game to translate so I can’t exactly comment on what was going on there.

For the trivia bits, please do keep in mind that it is me being nitpicky as a translator myself, and that I’m only pointing those out as how I would personally prefer those to be translated but at the end of the day, it really does come down to preferences since they do communicate the main thing they are trying to relay and unlike context relevant errors that do in fact cause geniune harm to gameplay and player’s experience (ie. inconsistencies in translation making Trial 5 a confusing mess) they are more what it says on the tin- some extra info/context on things.

All that said, let’s start~

Here we start with a shortened version of the V3 promo we will see in trial 6, as well as the V3 opening. Before I move to the latter though, I do want to note that for the “This story is not over” part, the Japanese counterpart uses “物語は終わらない” which due to the verb tense has a heavier “This story won’t end” vibe, which Monokuma kept insisting on in trial 6 as well.

It is not a big thing but simply a nice touch with the bold claims they make throughout the game on how it will never end.

It is also worth touching on given that one commenter in trial 6 was saying that it’s been three years since last season, so it is a bold “come back” line by whoever the group running this season 53 is.

Beyond that, it is just a nice recap and I personally love how the music blends fairly well together.

Hello there, “Team Danganronpa”. Still love how this spoiler was staring at us in the face entire time.

For the actual opening Tsumugi having a red string (of their fates) at hand and Rantaro being the only one who becomes one with their shadow to have pink eyes open was a nice touch.

The character in that pink blinking eye that for some reason wasn’t translated is the kanji for “lie” (嘘) btw. Also nice touch with Kaede facing the culprits in that blink and you will miss it scene before they dissolve to letters.

Tsumugi and Rantaro being on top of the slot machine just like how Monokuma’s ‘throne’ is between their trial stands is nice too.

The opening, which was supposedly used in-game as show intro as well, having the meteorities and that talent suppressing machine for the Ultimate Hunt plotline is of worth noting too. It is easy to dismiss the Gofer Project plotline for us players now, but the show was genuinely going for that angle before Kokichi’s takeover, hence it is worth keeping in mind while going through first four chapters especially.

For the game name, this is sort of a dead horse at this point but “Killing Harmony” rather than “Everyone’s [Mutual] Killing School Semester” was likely used due to character limit, so they had to get creative with an alternative subtitle. Character limit is a genuine issue translators face with especially with a language like Japanese and why we end up things like Yasuhiro telling us to call him Hiro or Korekiyo saying we can use Kiyo.

It is also interesting that they play the show intro twice in the prologue, one before and after their memories were altered by the flashback light, and given Monokuma when he appears later saying that this prologue was going on too long, it seems like whoever was in charge of that (supposedly Monophanie, if kubs indeed have their own AI, or the person using the avatar of said bear) messed up so they had that version aired unintentionally, hence having to go for an intro again later.

And now it’s time to wake up for one antenna girl.

If this part felt pretentious and weird to you when you first read it, don’t worry it is just usual “Kodaka trying to go purple prose except it comes off really awkward especially in English” and the translator chose to simplify a good chunk of it, going “yeah we ain’t doing that here” and I can respect that tbh.

But just for the sake of having it here: A more literal translation of that part would be “There is nothing here yet. No light, no sound. Nor my form or voice. Nobody knows who I am yet. Who I am? Who am I? I reach out a hand. A hand that doesn’t belong to anyone yet. To grasp my own existence- This is me. My name is Kaede Akamatsu. I finally recognized who I am. ...Nice to meet [you,] me. Miss protagonist of this crazy story.”

Again, a few things are just reworded to sound natural in English for the localization’s take, but if the line “Nice to meet... me” confused you before, that’s because translator went half way cutting out Kodaka waxing poetics on regaining consciousness, so taking off the subject in translation makes it sound weirder when she suddenly seems to start to talk to herself.

Also, the heavy protag framing with her and Shuichi honestly did more harm to the game than good, at this point. It would be better if they started off without that last line, as it would blend better with unreliable narrator we just happened to see events from the POV gimmick way better. Same goes for Demo having her, Hajime and Makoto sharing the “Protagonist Room” and how much hype they caused by actively pushing that angle. Part of that was preserving the twist, yes, but I also get why people do feel like it was meant as a “take that” as well.

It also did not help with people recognizing that we were playing as “side characters” the entire time as far as in-universe story plotted by this TDR was concerned too, since Kiibo was set to be the in game Naegi-expy protagonist of the season.

But enough of that for now, because we have a title card to tackle.

蘇る超高校級

I have to admit, revival probably was the best choice to use there as looking back now, there are a few things this is refering to-

1-) The simpler explanation of how they supposedly had their memories sealed, hence the “restoring/bringing back memories” meaning of 蘇る, which also means “reviving” the title of Ultimate in the Gofer Project plotline universe given how they were supposedly last survivors of the earth and

2-) How this is a revival of Danganronpa, going again with the fact that show stopped for three years/some people were awaiting for a new season for a while now, hence the resurrection/revival of Danganronpa and by extention, the concept of Ultimates by using that meaning of 蘇る in that way too. After all, “Ultimate” is really just “Best in X field amongst other highschoolers” title (as commonly fan-translated and iirc even made it to anime subs as “Super High School Level”), so having high schoolers who are given memories and the title to match with it is reviving that.

Finally out of the closet locker, and before we move on, I want to add another side note that when you invert the UI, pre first flashback light UI turns a familiar pink.

While one reading of this could be that this lie magenta being the inverted version hints at prologue being a lie, I personally take it as due to the inverted color being the one we see, it means the prologue has the “truth” than later parts, since in trial we have blue truth bullet changing color to become pink lie bullet theme, that the color they are inverted to being opposite of what they are simply makes more sense to me.

We will see when we return to this locker again later that our UI changed to yellow which inverts to blue, reverse of truth, which is especially poignant with Tsumugi’s later trial 6 comment on “if they will call fiction a lie, then all their actions and words were indeed all just lies, since they were performed based on things some people wrote, fiction, too.

It changing immediately after we are shown that first light simply felt too relevant to not tack this on here, but moving on-

A mood tbh

Poor girl, honestly. This is not even the only time she will end up hitting her head when we are done with prologue.

A bit of a short fuse there, but also fair.

That’s what we all would like to know too.

Imagine someone goes through the trouble of kidnapping you while you are on the way to school, and brings you to... another school you’ve never been to. It almost sounds funny if you ignore the small big fact that they are brought there to kill each other.

You tried, Kaede.

Also I forgot how much of the prologue was really just “Kaede causes herself physical pain while trying to calm down simulator” wow

Dun dun duun

Insert “Wow, Kaede comes out of her own closet AND brings hat boy out his closet too? Doing Arceus’ work, Kaede” joke.

Also hi, Shuichi.

This is honestly a weird way to phrase it, as what Kaede says is that it is “A boy dressed in a normal school uniform...” than emphasizing on Shuichi’s own normalness, in the Japanese version.

It is also the only line that has a slight change in both takes as in the second take, she says “A boy dressed in a bit weird school uniform...” which due to copy-paste and adjective being used to describe Shuichi than his clothing in the translation, it ends up being glossed over.

On the one hand, still funny. On the another hand, this kid is justifiably terrified...

“Buddy I need some context here I have no clue what’s going on”

“Oh yeah that happened”

Shuichi: Sees a girl in high school uniform, kidnapped by likely people older than them himself

Shuichi:

Shuichi: You are working with them aren’t you?!

10/10 detective work there hat boy. I know he is probably just still too scared to think straight, but it is still funny on hindsight.

That’s one way to calm someone

And both of their names are the same both takes too. Their way of referring to themselves (私 for Kaede, 僕 for Shuichi, which are both used in the Chapter 1 title as well) are same, as well as their general speech patterns too.

Damn, girl.

Also a nice time to point out that Shuichi spends a good chunk of prologue retake and chapter 1 doubting if they can really trust everyone, and it is good to see that he had same tendency to assume he is the only one facing something/that people around must be enemy unless he is explicitly told or shown that they are not.

It makes sense in the situation, really, especially with how Kaede being the one who opened the door to his locker, his experience is that this girl could be working for/with the ones who kidnapped him, but still worth mentioning.

A real flashback time-

Which is coming soon, because tumblr refuses to add more pictures to this post OTL

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #drv3 meta #drv3 translation #drv3 commentary #v3 spoilers #drv3 spoilers #prologue #welp here we go #I could trim off some of the screenshots but #it looks more coherent and follows each other better this way?#I was gonna cut it after this next part anyway #so that works #and just checked how many pictures there are and seems like first take of the prologue will take about three posts #yaaay

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honmakurara · 4 years ago

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Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru: extensive manga review

Tormented and explicit, sharp and sophisticated: what Mizushiro Setona's masterpiece really is.

Warning: minor spoilers ahead. "I want to read something erotic and violent": this is what Mizushiro Setona's editor asked her, echoing the request of their chief editor when assigning to the mangaka a story for the supplement of the Josei magazine Judy, meant to be read by an adult female target: "I don't expect you to write a nice story. You have other skills you can count on. You can narrate about gay people, for instance, or about sadomasochism."

Starting from the first casual incursion of Mizushiro-sensei into the world of Boys' Love, between the years 2004 and 2006 Kyūso wa Cheese no Yume o Miru (窮鼠はチーズの夢を見 - The cornered mouse dreams of cheese) was born and defined; it is one of the most beautiful and intense stories ever written about such a genre and beyond, which did even receive excellent notes from the well acclaimed Takemiya Keiko-sensei of the renowned Group 24. Starting with these premises, one can already understand how Mizushiro-sensei, who was not a master of Boys' Love back then, has nonetheless been able to offer an excellent tale that transcends the borders of genres and ranges over way beyond what it had been asked her: the story had been initially conceived as a few chapters later compiled in one tankobon, but it eventually came back on the pages of Judy with a new series of chapters. These ones have also been later published, three years later, in a sequel tankobon titled Sōjo no Koi wa Nido Haneru (俎上の鯉は二度跳ねる - The carp on the chopping block jumps twice). After the renewed interest offered to Otomo and to the cunning Imagase's story, that the live action movie announcement awakened, the new manga chapter Hummingbird Rhapsody has been added to the whole franchise, which is included in the recently revised Japanese edition of the manga.

"Imagase... I'm scared of you...!"

"And I'm... scared of you, too." There's however not only violence and eroticism in this intricate story, and such a definition would actually mean to simplify way too much what it portrays, not to mention it would not fit exactly what the author was actually able to convey into it; other than the most obvious themes and elements, many others way more implicit and elaborate ones can be found there. We can even have a hint of that by peeking at the cover illustration of the volume, where a languid surface does not betray the contradiction of the soul. We can see an elegant portrait of the two main characters, who both hide all but dignified emotions inside them; a very accurate mirror of such a picture, which graphically reminds us of the previous editions of the manga, is the mind of the thirty years old Otomo Kyoichi after his encounter with Imagase. Otomo is a married adult man, leading an apparently impeccable life: he has good looks, polite manners and a nice job. He is gentle and esteemed by his colleagues and is able to make the many women crossing his path sigh from expectation. He cannot resist women either, that is why his life is an endless sequence of cheating on his wife. He reckons they are of no importance, at least until his wife hires the private eye Imagase Wataru to investigate upon his possible infidelities. Imagase is no new man in Otomos' life, being a kohai within the tennis club at university: he proposes to Otomo to be silent with his wife, in exchange for the heated make-out session that he never dared asking before, despite his being a unprejudiced homosexual guy having a crush on Otomo since forever. After the end of Otomo's wedding, though, the intimate encounters between the two men do not stop at all; they are pushed towards a fierce depth instead, symbols of a spiral of lust and psychological turmoil from which Otomo cannot willingly go back any more. "I am no good one."

"I know this. Bad natured men like you are the worst. Do you think that everyone is looking for that perfect person? You can't fall in love with anyone but that one person?"

"Someday, you'll find true love, too. The time will come when you can't help the feelings that well up inside you and you'll be carried away."

The themes and the premises are taken from various undoubtedly not new Boys' Love clichés; Mizushiro-sensei makes skillfully use of them to plumb the human soul as she does in many other works of her, making the story evolve quickly into something way different and way wider than what the numerous and explicit sex scenes might make us think at first. It takes a doting and obsessive homosexual guy into the life of some apparently happy man like Otomo in order to make the latter understand that his marriage is merely an empty shell, built with no true nor deep feelings to live an ordinary life. The encounter with Imagase, though, forces Otomo to think back deeply about his own actions and the meaning to give to his own life, until he gets to understand that despite his true gentleness, he has never cared for other people's feelings at all.

The relationship with Imagase makes his worst side come to the surface: jealous impulses, selfishness and possessiveness, unsuspected masochistic and yet dominating preferences, obscure compulsions and a never missing inclination towards all sorts of temptations. Otomo is no role model nor someone to praise and yet, he's neither a man whose submissive personality can be easily blamed. Such a personality is a spectrum of a lid hiding a lot of things, a reflection of our own fearful and insecure behaviour, our own incapability of getting to call ourselves into question until the moments, those surprising and unexpected moments, that are to change life for real. That these two lovers embody a strong universal value is further suggested by the choice of the Japanese kanjis with which their names are written: Mizushiro-sensei identifies Otomo Kyoichi (大伴恭一) with the definition of 'partner' itself, a potential alter ego of each of us; she entrusts Imagase Wataru (今ヶ瀬渉, from the kanjis of 'quickness', 'crossing', 'involvement' and 'human relations') with the importance of getting to catch the 'carpe diem', the fleeting moment. Should we were to play with the language a little bit, we would find out that the union of the two main characters would lead us to the meaning of a 'relationship with a partner', the play of the cat with its little mouse happening here and now, the moment that we are to live in every single instant.

"You're kidding?! I cannot believe it… You can't decide?! Between a woman... or a man?!” - Natsuki -

"Maybe Imagase is right... maybe I still have to know what true love it. Next month, I’ll turn 30."

Otomo meets a long series of women, each of whom is identified by a definite face and a marked, strong personality. Each of them leaves a vivid notch into Otomo's life; and yet, no one of these figures is able to open a gash into his soul. The true Otomo is unfathomable to anyone, himself included, just like he himself can finally understand after the new encounter with Imagase breaks the quiet surface of his existence. The desirable man that Otomo is in his colleagues' eyes, through Imagase's cynical and revealing gaze he proves to be none other than a failed seducer, a man devoid of lash and decisiveness, a figure suddenly insecure even about what the true and intense physical pleasure is and how to gain it. It is Imagase who makes the miracle, intercepting his senpai's emotional black hole, and the latter finally manages to find out where the borders of his own self lay and how to humbly face his own limitations and inner being. This does not happen thanks to a man, nor thanks to a good guy, but rather because of a tempting snake who exploits Otomo's weaknesses with a cheeky and direct attitude towards him; by acting like so, Imagase takes a vengeance towards his own young self, first of all, the one who had been unable to face with sincerity the object of his adoration, back then. "No matter how sweet he might be, he is war away, like the moon."

His impetuous whims and his sensual attentions take the lid off Otomo's soul in the deep and they produce the most unexpected of effects, by reversing the parts of this play: Otomo, the one who never even thought he would were to find himself one day on the verge of turning 30 years old by asking himself about the true nature of love, becomes fond of the weird daily life established with Imagase, and he adapts himself to such cohabitation with surprising rapidity. He becomes more and more aware of a homosexual relationship in which he, however not knowing how to move, goes on with the cautiousness, the tenderness and the care he had never reserved to any other person before, in his whole life. He even gets to question himself what it is that truly determines the happiness of a couple, both in the short and medium-long term. As for Imagase, he teaches his senpai how to increase the physical pleasure in a more and more intense way, making him find out what offering someone unconditional love means. Someone who is clearly an imperfect one in all his weaknesses, but at the same time someone who is loved for the one he is, and not just because he embodies the ideal of an unattainable perfect man.

As the relationship with Otomo evolves, though, it is Imagase slowly losing the control he had on the whole situation, as he lavishes his spasmodic need for affection -also made up of a sometimes exasperating and childish attitude- on a story born out of a youthful crush later evolved in true and heartbreaking love, against every possible prevision.

"I'm just eating away your current existence. I can't make you happy."

"I'll decide whether or not I'm happy. We're both so selfish."

That is why within the play of the cunning black cat with his naive mouse, it is no obvious at all who the real prey or the predator are; quite on the contrary, the roles are repeatedly overturned, both on a psychological and on a sexual level, in a turn-up which is mostly unprecedented as for what Boys' Love works are concerned: as the pages become more daring, there's a parallel growth of the sexual purse power that each of these main characters can use towards one another. A strong and undermining power. Playing tag, letting go, keeping on running after each other once again: all of those are demonstration of a love both childish and adult-like in its elements, a overwhelming love taken to the limit of the obsession, a deep affection that while looking straight into reality, forces both men to ask themselves how much they are willing to leave back of their own selfishness in exchange for an improper relationship, and yet a fulfilling and indispensable one. That is why it is equally truly fitting, the choice of borrowing the name of animals for the titles of the chapters, and these very same animals appears as 'guest-stars' inside the story itself: from a frame hanging at a restaurant to a lighter herald of jealousies, there is no similarity more proper than fish, cats, snakes, owls and butterflies to suggest us behaviours that are to recall the most primeval and animal-like instincts of the human beings. Weaving traps and spider webs: those mean, sleazy and petty acts that people also do when they're in love. "The obstacle is you. And so am I." The frame of this symbolism closes with a gaze looking up at the cover illustration, where the portraits of animals silently stand out in the background behind the main characters. At the same time, such a gaze looks suggestively up at the moon: the Romeo and Juliet described by Shakespeare invoked the moon for an eternal oath, while the Japanese writer Natsume Soseki in his famous 'Tsuki ga kirei, desu ne?' (the moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?) metaphorically used the moon for a declaration of love. Mizushiro-sensei entrusts the white satellite with Otomo and Imagase's most unspeakable thoughts, for which the moon so becomes a silent leitmotif, as if it was a sensual tokonoma opening inside the story for all those people who can see beyond it: a sort of a story in the story, like a delicate, deep, subtle and intimate alcove. It goes beyond saying that every single dialogue of Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru manga is either enigmatic and cheeky and equally provoking and misleading: what we do reckon we understand about Otomo and Imagase, through their own words, gets later regularly denied by other facts. With thick lines and dialogues that are to tell us the very contrary of what they actually intend to convey, we cannot help but rely then on the inner voices of the many Otomos in his mind, in order to understand the nude truth: the white Otomo, the black and the grey one can maybe remind us of the concept behind the Pixar movie Inside Out, but Kyuso's one is by far forerunner of the latter. Mizushiro-sensei will make excellent use of such theme again by exploring it fully, and not without a subtle humour, in her following Nōnai Poison Berry manga; at the same time, the intricate juxtaposition of human beings and animals comes back to life in the well appreciated Shoujo manga Afterschool Nightmare, while the ultimate aim to attribute to ourselves and to love becomes the core of the romantic comedy Shitsuren Chocolatier, winner of the 36th Kodansha Manga Award - Shojo/Josei and also nominated for the Tezuka Award in 2014. Other than a fully substantial work per se, Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru can be also seen as a sort of effective experimental testing ground for the mangaka herself and her various best works.

"You think that's acceptable?!"

"Acceptable to whom?"

"To society!"

"You're overly self-conscious, as usual... society doesn't care about your sex life."

Mizushiro-sensei's style distinguishes itself for a modern and state-of-the-art graphic, an elegant and refined one, and Kyuso makes no exception: the peculiar design, so clean without any trace of deburring, gets softened as time and years passing by, as we can see by comparing the drawings made for the first chapters of the story with those from the Melancholy Butterfly onwards, and until the recent Hummingbird Rhapsody. Here the lines are so delicate and thin that they almost suggest us they could literally flake off under the piercing gaze of the reader. By leafing through the tankobon, all we can see are tidy pages, sometimes with no balloons at all, thus resulting in a huge expressive performance. The design is sharp and essential as for what details are concerned, but it is no minimalistic one; it is accurate in the depiction of bodies in every detail and characterized by a certain subtle sensuality, this latter marking not only the most rated scenes but also able to permeate the whole work instead. As used as she is in narrating with extraordinary ability about twisted and askew themes and exploring the human psyche with related sexual and gender identity issues, Mizushiro Setona offers us pages with highly aesthetic value, thrilling and bold ones, not without a sort of a certain aesthete voyeurism when depicting lovemaking scenes, however never vulgar at all. They manage to effectively evoke with a surprising visual impact, instead, the devastating passions from which both the characters and the readers end up being shaken and overwhelmed from. The violence this manga is impregnated with is mostly about its psychological insight, rather than the physical one, sex being however undoubtedly an inescapable element of the complicated events binding Otomo to Imagase: it is a key of the story but no ultimate reason of it. That is why we cannot help but follow, almost in a state of trance, how this couple is eventually able to get to intimately know each other by starting from a kiss born out of a blackmail, and thenquickly slackening every inhibition under the sheets through reversal of positions, seme/uke roles and sadomasochistic implications.

"Do you love me? Or after you got a taste of being loved so passionately are you pretending to be my lover as compensation for my feelings?"

How such a sentimental-psychological tangle can be outlined into a story constantly in balance between drama and comedy, keeping a perfect balance between each of its many faces always, without ever falling nor losing a thing, the reader can find it one page after another, surprising himself together with Otomo and Imagase in a thick and tormented love story, terribly authentic as much as its complicated and complex characters are. The pressing storyboard does now allow any rest nor break nor peace: accusations and skirmishes rebound from one man to the other in a never-ending evolution and involution of the personalities of the characters, that is until the unsettling ending; when the time of the games finishes and infantilism stops, another moment inevitably comes. The moment when the face of the adult we want to show to other people outside, goes finally and fully matching the inner essence of us as human beings. That very moment when one can take responsibility towards its own self.

"Poking holes in happiness makes you unhappy.

Nobody understands what I'm going through.

No one knows about the happiness I got to feel despite navigating into an ocean of doubts."

Otomo' sexism, while appreciating what Imagase offers him despite never intimately accepting it’s a man providing him with such a pleasure, vanishes in the very moment he gives his lover a vintage Château Pétrus bottle: it is one of the finest French wines in the whole world, thus suggesting his precious man the implicit idea of being an equally unique and irreplaceable one. Carrying on with a relationship where people can look at each other's eye and discuss, offering our whole self not in order to give back something we received but rather to go beyond our own self, it is then something quite different from seeking the pleasure of a night without any involvement: it is not the same indecisive man he was before, the one for whom appearances in society stops being an excuse, the man suddenly questioning himself how it might be wooing a man rather than a woman, or whether the relationship between two homosexual guys might even be more complete and deep than the one a heterosexual man might start with someone belonging to a ‘different’ universe from his own one.

What is love, then, if not the innate strength that allows us to see beyond our stiff self-esteem and pride, in order to overcome our limitations and arrive and reach the most intimate recesses of the one soul we naturally tend? And it is not only the Boys' Love theme per se to be central in this story, quite rather something that transcends every gender limitation to virtually embrace every kind of love, regardless of any possible colour or legitimacy. And that is because a different way of loving is no inadequate love nor a "less" love. However merely brushing LGBTQ+ themes, however never aspiring to become a gender manifesto, the Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru manga is able to outline some of these aspects with great perspicacity; there's then the excellent portrait offered to the weaknesses of the human being, slave of a need for affection as much hidden as obscure and here translated into the relentlessness of a physical and lacerating love. It does confirm to us how much the social and psychological themes are here treated with crude realism and keen sensibility. In a perfect synthesis of the Yin and Yang elements, Otomo and Imagase's greedy, mean and liar characters are flecked in a sometimes merciless way, not to mention the moment they mean to hurt other people but end up cleaving their own self instead first: it is a couple of uncomfortable characters the one we have here, someone with whom it is definitely not a pleasure to identify ourselves with, someone we wish never to meet, if any. Someone that nonetheless chooses never to give up when in front of human frailty, and that is why these characters end up being unusually authentic, charming and unforgettable ones. " I was hoping, someday, that by sharing my way of loving with you, you would have done the same to me one day." - Imagase -

"Ugh... I don't lose my temper like this with women." - Otomo -

The new revised All in One Edition reunites the two original volumes into one, which comes with a few color pages in the introduction and the brand new extra Hummingbird Rhapsody chapter. As for what the censorship is concerned, the original pages have actually been partially edited in a very few graphic details: it has been Mizushiro-sensei herself to provide them at the request of the Japanese publisher for the revised edition, which is meant to remove every explicit content starting from 28th January 2020. That happens in order to make the manga available also to a younger target, as the live action movie received a R15+ rating. Censorship involves however only the depiction of male genitals in a few specific, small and delimited portions of the pages, mainly in the first chapters of the story, and does not apply anywhere else. Female nipples and breasts, naked bodies and rated love making are left totally untouched, and so are the original dialogues, the true quintessence of this manga. Even the revised edition presents the harsh and explicit tones of the original pages and there is none of the messages conveyed by the manga that has been damaged or watered down by the re-print. "Love is divine punishment."

Carrying a perfect balance between seduction and feelings, the Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru manga is a challenging, demanding and intense reading. It is a mature story filled with issues, a complex and provoking one; it is compulsory to get near this story with the utmost attention, receiving though a crescendo of emotions that the reader will feel entangled with until the very last page. The Italian poet Giacomo Leopardi would have probably defined it a "matto e disperatissimo" love, a 'mad and utterly desperate' one. Like a river in flood sweeping everything away, the need for getting to know how to slacken control of ourselves and how to gain it back: educating the passion in a relationship is complicated to the point of seeming almost unmanageable.

Love in daily life is quite a different issue from the feelings of a romance novel, an engagement that forces people to swallow bitter bites sometimes, an endless tension towards the other and towards ourselves. In this story that happens to painfully disturbs the deepest part of the heart, we do not know who is the one leading the game; both characters here overthrow the typical Boys' Love canons, an audacious, cocky and authentic couple ready to question itself always.

A story that cannot be missed for all the lovers of the Boys' Love genre, Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru is also quite appropriate for all those one searching for an atypical love story, a strong and nonetheless sensual one, sublimated by a masterful introspection and a very welcome hint of subtle and stinging humour. It is a work dealing with many interesting and complicated issues, though never boasting about none of its many qualities.

A story that knows no limitation and no borders. One of those volumes to keep on the shelf of our own personal bookcase with the utmost care, to take up every now and then in our hands and find new shades of meaning after every new re-reading.

Originally written and posted in Italian @ Animeclick

#the cornered mouse dreams of cheese #Il Gioco del Gatto e del Topo #review #my poor feels

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notanerrandboy · 3 years ago

Text

Smiling out loud - Chapter 11

Chapter title: Dream a little dream

Summary: A sudden experience changes Matsumoto’s perspective of things.

Characters: Matsumoto, Hamada, Hôsei, Endô, Tanaka

Character count: 2545

Disclaimer: I’m only doing this for fun!

(Crossposted on AO3)

~~~

Matsumoto Hitoshi wasn’t what you’d call a dreamer, or at least he himself didn’t think so. I don’t have time for dreams, he liked to say when someone asked him about it, I sleep to get sleep. He didn’t even remember dreaming at night - sure, he could talk about a dream he’d had as a child in front of lots of people or mention something briefly when he was out drinking with his closest friends, but when it came down to it he hadn’t had a dream that had felt even close to real for a very, very long time.

Maybe that was why he was so persistent on making his waking dreams be fulfilled. He had always aspired to be famous, but the sad truth was that reality wasn’t perfect, even if he was one of Japan’s most famous comedians now. It was paperwork, lots of planning and thinking, social events - pure work. It definitely got on Matsumoto’s nerves sometimes.

So the days floated by, one after another. Matsumoto let out a big yawn where he was sitting in the company’s minivan - driving around like this could make anyone tired but he felt exhausted… for over thirty years he’d fought everything and everyone to get to where he was now, but it happened more and more often these days that he’d nod off where he was sitting, despite not even being physically tired - perhaps he was bored, maybe it was as simple as that.

So when Matsumoto got out of the car this particular day to enter Nittere’s building and record Gaki no Tsukai he was pleasantly surprised when he saw that his partner Hamada actually met him by the door.

At least he was in the beginning.

~~~

Matsumoto knew he was dreaming.

The Hamada standing in front of him looked like he usually did, but at the same time there was something about his childhood friend that was totally different and he felt frustration build up inside him as he couldn’t put his finger on what it was.

“What’s with that look, I just said “Welcome home”. Aren’t you gonna answer me?” Matsumoto had been staring at his partner’s mouth as it moved, but the sharpness of the words made him sober up. Like always. At least there was no difference there.

“…I’m home?”

Hamada nodded, hands on his hips as he grinned cheekily. “Good. Welcome home.”

While his partner turned around to walk into a nearby room Matsumoto looked around. No, this definitely wasn’t the recording studio of Gaki, neither was it a room that he recognised even in the slightest. It was bright and sparsely filled with furniture, and in the big windows to his right curtains were floating back and forth in the slight summer breeze. This is a nice room, Matsumoto decided, and he sat down in one of the creamy white sofas facing the windows.

“You’re early today, was something cancelled?” Two long glasses filled with some sort of colourful drink were placed on the table in front of him, making it easy for Matsumoto to imagine him being a guest on one of their own shows. So this is how it feels, huh.

He touched the glass, trying to evade the question.

“Not really. Just got off early. Why do you ask?”

Hamada sat down next to him, one leg over the other. “No reason. It’s always nice when you get home earlier, gives us more time to spend together.”

Matsumoto looked at Hamada while a lump of worry grew in his stomach. Nice? Since when did we ever spend time together outside of recording our shows? And he tensed as he noticed his partner had scooted closer to him.

“When it’s just the two of us… I guess it feels kind of relaxing in a way.” He took Matsumoto’s hand. “We haven’t really been able to just sit down in a while, and I can hardly remember us reminiscing about the past…”

Matsumoto let out a relieved breath. Hamada seemed content with leaning against his shoulder and holding his hand, and he could live with that. It actually made him feel nice - a part of him had probably missed this part of Hamada, the part that he’d lost sight of somewhere on the way to becoming celebrities… and now he somehow appeared in a very realistic dream…

They sat together in silence as the wind blew gently through the curtains and the sunlight peeked through the trees in the garden. Somewhere in the distance children laughed, and suddenly Hamada got up, smiling widely.

“It’s about time!” He disappeared into what Matsumoto could only assume was the kitchen before he even got the chance to ask what was going on. A “help me out?” made him get up as well and he followed his partner.

“What’s going on?”

Hamada gave him an incredulous look, pushing a kettle of tea into his hands. “What do you mean, what’s going on? The kids come home around this time on tuesdays! Put the tea on the table now!” Matsumoto couldn’t make sense of what his partner was saying but he did what he was told, wondering to himself what kids Hamada were talking about until the door flew open and three small boys came running in - one older boy and two younger, all three of them carrying the same kind of red backpack. They took off their shoes and hats as they continued to laugh and make lots of noise.

“We’re home!”

Hamada emerged from the kitchen, carrying some fruits and cookies to the table. “Welcome home, kiddos. Want some snacks?”

“Yup!”

Then the children noticed Matsumoto standing frozen in the middle of the room, and they started shouting loudly.

“You’re home!”

And if Matsumoto hadn’t realised it before he sure did now, as the three children threw themselves into his arms, making them all fall to the floor.

“Why are you here?” the oldest asked, the one with squishy cheeks that resembled Hôsei. The taller of the other two younger boys who, quite literally, was a miniature Tanaka answered him before Matsumoto could do it himself.

“Maybe he got home earlier, and I think that’s good!”

“I think so too!” the youngest shouted, sporting a trademark Endô-grin, before hugging Matsumoto tightly.

“Hey, be careful not to hurt him.” Hamada pulled Endô from Matsumoto, and Matsumoto couldn’t help muttering “you’re one to talk” which earned him a light slap to the back of his head - but when he looked up he found his partner smiling, and he took his outstretched hand to get up. “Now, let’s eat.”

The meal went by very quietly, except for when Hamada asked the boys about school, and Matsumoto thought about the peculiar feeling of calmness that he was feeling as he sipped on his tea. It almost felt like one of their Gaki-meetings, but still… this was much more familiar. Everyone laughed and spoke kindly to one another, no-one pointed out mistakes or joked too much, and this much time didn’t usually pass before someone raised their voice or hit someone. Matsumoto felt like… he almost didn’t dare to even think it out loud… he felt like he was home.

“There was a quiz today,” Tanaka said and carefully gave Endô, who was squirming in the couch next to him, a look. “And En-chan didn’t do that well…”

Endô sighed as all eyes turned to him. “I’m not good with kanji, and this is the fourth test I barely passed…”

“Why don’t you ask Tanaka for help?” Hamada suggested, but to this Endô shook his head violently.

“Nao-chan already helped me study and it still doesn’t work so I can’t ask for more now..!”

Tanaka quickly grabbed his hand. ”It’s okay, I’ll definitely help you more if you want to. You help me with other things, right?” And the cute nicknames and the way the two of them looked so small and vulnerable became too much for Matsumoto’s heart to deal with, so he opened his mouth to speak to the children for the first time in this dream.

“Accept the offer, Endô. I believe in you - if you just continue to study well I’m sure you’ll ace the next test.” The smiles he got from the future members of Cocorico made his throat thicken, but thankfully Hôsei chose this moment to interrupt.

“I wrote a song in school today and everybody loved it!” He got up to play on the piano that just happened to stand by the wall, and soon he was singing to his heart’s content.

“Yamasaki ichiban~ Yamasaki ichiban~”

It wouldn’t surprise me if he actually had composed this in school, Matsumoto thought as he playfully held his hands to his ears and laughed with the others, Hamada getting up to stop him from playing.”That’s enough, we’ve heard it now, Yama-chan. I’m glad everybody appreciated it at school but it doesn’t mean that we love it to death, okay?”

“We liked it a lot,” Endô said and smiled as he held Tanaka’s hand in a firm grip.

Hôsei got down and returned the smile. “Thanks! I’m off to study with Komu now, see you later!”

“Be home before nine!” Hamada called after him, receiving a quick “yes!” before the door slammed shut and Hôsei was gone.

Hamada turned to ruffle Endôs hair.

“Baseball practice in an hour and homework done before that, okay?” Endô laughed and nodded, pulling Tanaka with him into the house and shutting a door belonging to a room at the far end of a corridor. And suddenly Downtown was on their own again.

“They’re so energetic, all three of them,” Hamada sighed and started to carry the dishes away. “Time sure did fly… They were so small a moment ago and look at them now…”

Matsumoto listened carefully, eager to get some more information on how things were in this dream, but he soon realised that Hamada had left him so he stood up to look for clues instead. Photos, perhaps? Yes, he saw a couple of frames standing on a shelf by the piano, and he felt a smile tug at his lips as he took a closer look at the one on the far right.

He saw a younger Hamada, with Endô and Tanaka hugging him and laughing. Cocorico couldn’t be more than five years old, maybe six… a photo from a shrine stood next to it, and he guessed that he himself looked about 15 in it. When seeing this he unconsciously touched his hairline with his hand, and he felt cold for a split second. Of course, if the age difference was anything to go by he still had hair! But he decided not to think too much about it and instead moved his focus to the next photo, which made his mouth open in surprise.

“You remember that one, right?” Hamada stood next to him and looked over his shoulder, smiling warmly at the picture. It was similar to the first picture he’d seen, but this time Cocorico had their hands around his neck as they pressed their lips to his cheeks. “It was Endô’s idea, and I couldn’t stop him. I think it turned out pretty cute, you’re even blushing a little~” He snickered and put the pictures back on the shelf. “We’re very lucky to be big brothers to such cute and amazing boys.” he said and he took Matsumoto’s hand again, and Matsumoto could only agree. Even if this dream had frightened him in the beginning he had to admit that he was happy about it now. That he was comfortable here, that he’d had a nice time. That he’d gladly return if he could.

But it was time to wake up now.

—

“Matsumoto-san! We’re here!”

The comedian slowly opened his eyes and was shocked to find himself still sitting in the minivan. Had he not even left it before falling asleep? He got out of the car and allowed himself to be led inside Nittere's building, only this time for real. He walked up the stairs with tired steps, still with the dream fresh in his mind - clear and more vivid than he’d like it to be - and startled when he heard someone screaming.

“Oi, Matsumoto!” And there he was, his partner, alive and real and just as expressive as he always was, but at the same time he felt different. Hamada scolded him for being late, but he was only listening with one ear. In front of him dream-Hamada and the real Hamada merged together, and maybe there was some truth to what people said about feelings changing after dreaming about people after all?

He got to learn the answer as soon as he rounded the corner and met the three younger members of Gaki.

“Good evening, Matsumoto-san!” Cocorico and Hôsei were all smiles when greeting him, which didn’t make things any easier for Matsumoto.

“Good evening.” he muttered awkwardly and sat down on a chair, next to Hamada. He wondered if the others had noticed it, that he was seeing them differently now? Again he tuned out from the conversation and was only brought back to reality when Hamada nudged his shoulder. He nodded absentmindedly and tried to listen in on what they were talking about.

“…so Suga pays for everything?” The producers nodded from their seats at the end of the table.

“Yes. Just don’t do anything extreme and it’ll be fine. It’s the least we can do after thirty years.”

“You mean when Downtown started this? And Hôsei-san?” Endô gave Suga a questioning look. “Me and Tanaka hasn’t been part of this show for that long.”

“But it feels like that.” Everyone was now looking at Matsumoto, who cursed himself for saying something so sentimental, but the damage was already done so he looked straight at his younger colleagues.

“Gaki felt complete only after you joined. We’ve been five since then, and we always will be. And what are we talking about, dinner?” His attempt to change the subject wasn’t that successful, and he still caught a glimpse of Cocorico’s faces as he turned away (they were so similar to the ones in his dream it wasn’t even funny) but thankfully the others catched on and started talking about something else, and while they did that he came to a realisation.

Maybe he’d felt all this before today, maybe it was a lasting effect from his dream, but one thing was certain - from today and onwards he’d put in some effort into being kinder towards the others. Kind, strong, safe, warm.

Like a big brother to his younger brothers.

He smiled to himself.

They’d truly become a family.

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