#i di not want to be percieved <3

[torchickentacos]

enough calling it a 'grief spiral' or whatever. no. i'm in trapdoor spider mode. i am sitting in my little sad hole until i need food or some other basic necessity. this is me.

[thicctails]

I C R A V E more gbc au stuff: particularly with Bill: were the twins aware of Bill before gravity falls? what do they tell the twins about bill once they get there? how does bill and his parents even go about reconnecting?? I want to know more about the direct aftermath of the reunion. It's not hard to piece together Bill and Fords relationship from the journals: did they read into it the wrong direction or smth? Like Bill fucking traumatized Ford: Euclid and Scalene's estranged long lost son fucking severly traumatized and manipulated a realtive of their adoptive kids: there's gotta be more complex feelings there? Does Bill blame them for his medical trauma? do Scalene and Euclid regret that? did they have differing opinions on it back when? also like, now Bill is legit insane: what with him having been percieved insane or a ticking time bomb of insanity before how do they feel about that? do they have differeing opinions?????

FNSKJDFNSDKJ DSI C R A V E MORE FERERJSNJKFDNFKE

PLEASE FEED MEEEEE

Ask and ye shall r e c e i v e

Both Scalene and Euclid were under the impression that Bill died when Euclidea inevitably collapsed in on itself. They told Dipper and Mabel that they had a child, but never went into much detail, as it hurt too much to talk about.

(You can imagine how fucking gutted they were when they saw images of him all around the Shack. Journal 3 was just a big fat gob of salt in their open wounds)

Reconnecting for them is like a healing an infected wound: you have to cut out the rot, grit your teeth for the burn of cleaning it out, work to keep the infection away, and accept the fact that there will be a scar.

Bill is so fundamentally broken and mentally unwell that not even the Axolotl can really fix him. The best he can do is help Bill get to a point where he can begin again in a different form. But getting to that point is the real trouble. It's rotten work, a path laden with pain and suffering and hurt feelings, but it's the only option worth fighting for.

Scalene and Euclid feel immense guilt for the mistakes they made raising Bill. They allowed themselves to be pressured into trying to make their gifted son normal, and everyone they ever loved and then some ended up paying the price. Bill may have started the fire, but their misguided good intentions handed him the match.

Bill himself is a whirlwind of emotions. He is unexplainably relieved that his parents are alive, but that also means that he can no longer possess a false bravado and pretend he intentionally slaughtered his entire dimension. His past is red and blue and in his face, and the voices have only gotten louder since he saw his mother's heartbroken face. Not only that, but they have, in his eye, replaced him with two of the people destined to destroy him! They look at Shooting Star and Pinetree with all the fondness they used to look at him with, and it makes his insides burn.

They also are constantly setting off each other's triggers, like some kind of sick oroborus of trauma. Bill's powers often manifest as pyrokinesis, which isn't great when your parents are still living with the horrific injuries caused by said fire. On the other side of the coin, Euclid has been soothing the twins with gentle TV static since they were little, since his preferred method of manifestation is screen-based technology, (whereas Scalene prefers music and books) which has caused Bill to spiral into a violent panic attack more than once.

As for Ford... well, neither Cipher parent is fond of him, as i've stated, but while they don't know the entire story of how his and Bill's time together was, they know enough to know that it ended in violence and misery, and they are not so heartless that they do not feel pity for the man and disgust towards their son's actions. They make it very clear to their eldest, when they can stand to speak to each other, that he is to never possess another member of the Pines family.

He only breaks that promise once, though it was for a good reason. Gideon needed a good beat down, and Pine Tree was too hurt to make that jump without help.

[neomedievalist]

3 4 5 RYOMINA GO GO GO

3. Are they into PDA? Who initiates most?

I have always always thought that they just touch eachother without realizing it..in p3movie 3 you can see them just standing close to eachother and theres that scene where minato grabs ryojis arm then seems to be confused about the fact that he did that. WHICH IS SO CUTE. another angle is that ryoji is v aware hes in love so hes reeling himself back constantly but minato is the one unaware of it and ryoji is like ??!??!? Maybe he does this with everyone...I have only known him for a week... and he asks junpei and hes like i have never ever seen this guy willingly step within 2 meters of another person in my life. SO CUTE. SOOO CUTE

4. Their favorite show to watch together?

I suddenly got this vision that ryoji watches absolute garbage television and thinks its peak. mina walks in on him actually fucking crying to the finale episode of icarly so minato has to actively force him to watch things that have an actual plot but i think minato is an exceptionally pretentious 16/17 year old and makes him watch idk twin peaks. i do think that ryoji would be fascinated by literally anything you could put on baby sensory videos and hed be like hoooly shit. so i guess their favourite show to watch is whatever minato wants to watch

5. Who is the cheesier one of the two?

*strangling ryoji with my hands* I just couldn't say... this cunt "my love" this "my dearest" that .. hed send a giant delivery of roses to their classroom and minato would get a QTE of throwing them out the window before anyone fucking sees. its so bad for a Grand Romantic Gestures popular guy and a Dont Fucking Percieve Me emo boy. Hope he dies. Again.

[transbeeduo]

Crunch can you tell me abt your c!dream rewrite :3 I support your transing of women

OK SO. My thing with transfem c!dream and headcanoning her as such is stemming a lot from her just having a lot of like. Self-image/self-actualization issues? Like in canon she’s going on and on about how she needs to “become a god” or something that’s far far greater than what she is currently and like. I feel like that comes from a place of her not liking herself, not liking how she looks and feels and how other people percieve her, and wants to change it. But the thing is that she’s shoved so much of herself down, any connections to others, any feelings or wants that she’s percieving as weakness or as not helpinng her get her goal for godhood that she doesn’t KNOW she’s trans. she just assumes becoming a god will fufill that ache in her heart that she doesn’t know how to feel about or even describe or begin to process. But it wouldn’t. And she’d never know that because she died before ever realizing that. It’s part of why she’s so cruel and desperate all the time, taking out her insecurities and self-hatred on others because she wants to do anything but think about herself and question herself. Lala

I think there’s more i can say here but i dont remember what that is i just know theres more ill add it when i remember

[expired-bat]

@m3gahet tagged me to do this quiz w my ocs ! RABIES, Lucille, and Milo are included :3

Meilin, Chris, and Milo: Despair

The tunnel never had a light. You wish for nothing because you know you'll receive nothing, and your hopes died out long ago. The only thing that keeps you going is the thrill of emptiness you feel when things don't turn out your way. It's bitter. It's proof. Proof that you don't feel this way for nothing.

Jayu, June, and Lucille: Loneliness

Your heart feels full of the connection you feel you lack. No matter how many people are around you, strangers or not....someone is missing. You don't know who, what, or if you'll ever find them. You're unsure if there's a person out there who'll really satisfy your life, so really what's the point of continuing to look?

Ryan: Self-inadequacy

You crack under the weight of your own percieved inability. How can you be enough for anyone else when you're just barely enough for yourself? Insecurity causes you to have little back-bone, and so you fail to reach your full potential when it comes to what you're best at. You sabotage opportunities with fear you'll fail before you've begun. It hurts to never feel like your best is enough, but setting your standards too high or too low ensures it.

Tony: The Giver

Your energy depletes as you hand it out to anyone passing by your basket. People walk by and take, but no one ever leaves. You're constantly running on low when people keep asking you to give. You'd give your soul away for free, and then what left do you have of yourself if you can't say no?

Eddie: Yearning

The pain in your chest bubbles knowing that what you want may never be yours. You're lost in a fantasy world, or consumed by what you wish you were or had as opposed to what you do. It's hard to appreciate what's around you when you're appreciating the hope of what could be instead.

yeouch. i tag @plvtosun @claudia-nomusaabara @inky-da-dinky @katusjuice @the-loveliest-lotus and @sparklecinnamonbunny !

[full---ofstarlight]

tagged by @gwynbleidd and @thedeadthree to do this uquiz!! did my bg3 girls, nyx, and then also two d&d characters because why not <3 <3

ocs as types of suffering

--

delvyre coppersmythe || bg3

Self inadequacy

You crack under the weight of your own percieved inability. How can you be enough for anyone else when you're just barely enough for yourself? Insecurity causes you to have little back-bone, and so you fail to reach your full potential when it comes to what you're best at. You sabotage opportunities with fear you'll fail before you've begun. It hurts to never feel like your best is enough, but setting your standards too high or too low ensures it.

desdemona vryn || bg3

Despair

The tunnel never had a light. You wish for nothing because you know you'll receive nothing, and your hopes died out long ago. The only thing that keeps you going is the thrill of emptiness you feel when things don't turn out your way. It's bitter. It's proof. Proof that you don't feel this way for nothing.

nyx shepard || mass effect

The Giver

Your energy depletes as you hand it out to anyone passing by your basket. People walk by and take, but no one ever leaves. You're constantly running on low when people keep asking you to give. You'd give your soul away for free, and then what left do you have of yourself if you can't say no?

araiya woolenherd || d&d

Lonliness

Your heart feels full of the connection you feel you lack. No matter how many people are around you, strangers or not....someone is missing. You don't know who, what, or if you'll ever find them. You're unsure if there's a person out there who'll really satisfy your life, so really what's the point of continuing to look?

sirrus montague || d&d

The Blackhole

There's a hole where your heart used to be and nothing is filling that hollow void. You could drown in a world curated for you, and still nothing seems to fit. It eats you alive knowing you're unsure how to satiate the hunger of your soul. It's barely hunger, it's more like a blackhole.

--

tagging @n7viper @criffyzou @sun-marie @dekarios @birbycakes @mattressdemon@yappatadwinks andddd you at home if you want to play (go ahead and tag me so i can read about ur little people hehe)

[minalblood]

Rewatching the Winchesters now that it's on HBO Max and I can at any time instead of 3 am and god the pilot is chaotic but in the best way now that I already love all the characters.

And more than that, I can actually enjoy John this time around since I can watch it without having SPN!John in my head. Still will rub me the wrong way when he says hypocritical shit that SPN!John has done, but it's sooo much easier to genuinely give him the space to be aka grow as a character without the constraints of who he would've become. And yea, he very much is still completely recognizable as the John we knew, like to the point that I believe him to be way more likely to become JDM!John than Matt's John (but we did spend very little with him tbh). But he still has time to figure his shit out and is willing to do it. Ughh, cant wait to rewatch this.

Same thing with Mary tbh, having her basically have to be honest about herself and having all this hope for a future where she can be happy and not have to keep hunting til she dies, and knowing that she doesn't have to become(and won't I think) SPN!Mary means I can see her talk about all of these things without wanting to cry. And yea, I can def see SPN!Mary in her clearly, the trying to stay detached due to her grief, the hardened hunter, the taking the initiative and not taking no for an answer whether that's good or back. But she hasn't yet lived through one death and the loss of her whole life so she can still hold onto her dreams and try to achieve them.

Now Lata and Carlos on the other hand tho were always fun. But knowing them already mean I can enjoy all the minute work that builds their chracters even from the get go and also made me realize just how much they also grow throughout the season. Still my faves tho. Like Carlos' entrence is another spn iconic entrence tbh. And also also just... the sheer disaster that Carlos is in the Pilot speaks to me personally. And Lata instantly endears me to her, she's sassy from the get go, but more reserved in the Pilot. U can see the strength and and courage and ... just potential these two have cuz it's all already therw, but it's being held back in the Pilot, they don't yet have a support system aka Carlos is in a lone wolf vibe where they cant afford to let people close and Lata just lost hers not too long ago and with Maggie, she also kinda lost and is losing Mary.

I genuinely forgot Millie's intro was pretty harsh initially. Like I knew ep 2 has the monster turning into her for a reason, but I forgot how much she reminded me of SPN!John (when he was around that is) that I had a double take. It was the passive agressive comment to John followed by soothing it with a hug and a smile thay just genuinely threw me a bit with how much of SPN!John is in her aka how much he clearly learned from her (his parenting style) which obv makes sense but damn.

There might not be too much Ada in the Pilot, but the little we do get tho and where she ends up (with Rowena ackowledging her power and herself believing in her own magic and just herself) from where we see her here with a book store and trying to lay low is phenomenal. And we have hints here of who she is, and who she grows into when she talks to John about Henry, but like with all of them its hints.

Anyways, I love this show and the Pilot is pretty chaotic but not as energizer bunny/break neck speed as I remembered, but still way faster than the rest of the show. But it does such a good job setting everyone up, both for us to understand who they are now and for us to have a jumping point to see where they end up.

And to close it, fuck is it still the best thing in the world to have Dean on the screen again. Ughh, hits just as bad this time as the 1st time. Also also, this joy really be checking the Samulet there so that Jack doesn't get close, like he really be out here on his own, fucking theripizing himself with journaling and vibing by himself in his usual hunters outfit when not being percieved and then the fashionista in him when in a crowded bus stop was like "Imma be as extra as I can be" just because he could and honestly, good for him. He's always found time for a nice outfit change when oportunity presented itself.

Long story short, I'll be writing down my thoughts this run through as they come with the episodes.

[proustianlesbian]

3 movies i saw this week and why you should watch them.

(this is my 260th post but the first one i use a title for.)

i hesitated to write this in french but i choose english to be understood by more people.

i'm starting with the first movie i have seen on monday evening with my mom : "kuolleet lehdet" by aki kaurismäki. so at first, we went there not really knowing what to expect, she had read me the summary just before we left and i almost didn't want to go. however, this movie is amazing. the cinematography and the colors are gorgeous and the characters really endearing. there are a lot of songs in finnish (both sang by characters and outside of the film) that gave this already slow and melancholic art piece several moments outside of time. what i love too is the reality of the characters, the situations : they are just two proletarian workers yet they are shown to be deserving to be the main characters. we see them working, being friendly with their colleagues, having fun with them but also facing exhaustion at the end of the day as well as being seen as negligible quantity and easily replaceable by their bosses. the relationship between the two main characters is really sweet as well as their relationships with their own friends and it shows love in a way i particularly love : there is no need to know the name of the other or to do romantic things, just being together and feeling happy with eachother is enough.

the second film i saw on wednesday night was "anatomie d'une chute" by justine triet, it had won the palme d'or at this year's cannes festival. so my mom and i went to see it, again i didn't really know what to expect except that there was actors i love in it and that it was a trial movie also about medias and how they make people percieve things. and this prize was so deserved, every actor and actress was incredible, some scenes were so well made, especially a play with sound and image as well as what we see, what movements did the camera and what it showed us. it sometimes got so close of a documentary more than a fictional movie. i have so many thoughts about it, truly one of the best movies of the year but many people talked about it so i can't really add anything new to say. but if you can, go watch it.

the last film i have seen this week was "le procès goldman", directed by cédric kahn. i saw it just yesterday, alone and i already knew pierre goldman's story very well, i learned about this movie in may in a french tv emission about cannes and have been really waiting to see it since. it is most certainly my favorite but for very personal reasons. the story seems very niche : it is a huis-clos, set in 1976, of the second trial of a far-left activist, son of jewish partisans from poland (and step-brother of a very popular singer, who is still the favorite personality of french people and has been so for years) who was accused of several robberies as well as the murders of two pharmacists, but if he admits the robberies, he claims his innocence for the murders. this movie is not only showing the faillures of the racist police and racist judiciary systems in france but also has very interesting conversations between the characters about being jewish and therefore racialized. but it also touches a subject that is so specific and personal, i never saw a movie talk about it : the feeling that when you come from a family that suffered and/or fought so much, you feel like no matter how much you fight, it will never be enough to live up to this history, even if you're not asked to. you feel like you never deserved to be born and live when you know what your family went through. there is a sentence he said that marked me : "i was born and died on the 22th june 1944.". to me, it is one of the best way the jewish experience in a racist society and racist country like france has ever been represented. and i really urge you, jewish or not, to go see it and especially if you are not so you can understand what it feels like a little bit more. the acting of everyone is superb, showing so well the intensity that reigns in this room, but the main actor, arieh worthalter, is phenomenal. the actors are well casted and look like their real life counterparts. the realisation is really beautiful even if there are around three or four places shown in the movie. i love how everything about the movie is simple : a basic white writing font on a black background giving us the contexte and the title, i think there is no music as well. the costumes are gorgeous too and i love how many details were put into the fabrics, patterns. i really want to meet the director to tell him how this movie made me feel so seen.

[blissfulalchemist]

2, 12, 13 for sahar AND a ff clown of your choice

Thank you Macy! Sorry this took a hot second! But you get three characters because I couldn't resist talking about my ffxvi girlies :')

2. Is your OC a loner or a social butterfly? Are they satisfied with how they come across to other people?

See Sahar used to be a social butterfly, and typically had plans most weekends, but this all changed when she had her psychotic break and was back on her own after her inpatient stay. After that she really isolated herself and didn't like to interact with people for fear of their judgement, not that she had any care to what they thought no not her, which led to her doing things like taking on the overnight shift. Less people at night, never mind the other stuff she was trying to ignore. However, once meeting with Marc and the rest of the Midnight Mission she gains a bit of that social butterfly aspect once again and it can be a little jarring to those that don't know her all that well. Frankly this in between-ness that she has going on within the Mission leaves her the most satisfied because it really is the best of both worlds for her and feels more authentic than the social butterfly she was before. The whole better to have 3 devoted friends than 300 superficial ones.

I'm gonna talk about both ffxvi babies cause I love them but also not what you would expect. Between Alma and Clídna the more social of the two is actually Clídna!

While Alma can certainly be social she's more content to be by herself or with a select few people, which can all be attributed to her only really having her parents and needing to keep hidden, to then becoming part of a secret society, and then once again keeping her identity a secret so her main interactions that were for fun was limited to Joshua and Jote. Many though percieve her to be more social than she actually is and it wasn't much of an issue because it got what was needed, until she got older and had that attractiveness about her that meant men would just come up and keep conversation going long after she made it clear she wants to be anywhere but there (and rip Joshua can't go slightly jealous bf on them during this time).

Now Clídna likes being around people and having someone to talk to. She's always had a bigger community around her growing up with her father being in the military in both the Northern Territories and then once moving to Rosaria, she was around loud and boisterous men because he had to take her with him once her mother died and there was no other family to care for her while he worked. And despite the trauma she endured this aspect never waned and in fact she used it to her advantage. Jill was always someone that she wanted to protect and it started at first as this sense of women in a bad situation solidarity but then they became friends and Clídna was finding that as the two got older simply standing up and demanding the men leave them alone or at the very least Jill wasn't enough, so she befriended them and put on this different mask of social-ness so that should anyone get any ideas on wanting Jill she could just as easily step in and give them what they want, saving her friend (and eventual girlfriend) from having to partake in something she didn't ever want. Even when in the Empire's military she used this social aspect to keep herself safe being one of the few women among a lot of men, except for ol' Clive who was far from social at that time and man did it bug her that she couldn't befriend him like the other men. However after getting a bit closer to him she found so much relief in not having to put on this act for him and could let her social battery reset in a person she felt safe with. Upon first glance with her scarred face, muscle, and guardian demeanor many don't find her to be social and in fact almost down right scary, which she doesn't hate after using her sociability as a means of defense but she dislikes that it keeps people away because she does love people and the world and still holds out hope that they have good intentions. She's used to community and being seen as scary means being ostracized and that's well the opposite of community.

12. Is your OC cynical or optimistic? Who or what shaped their outlook on life?

Sahar has always been a bit of a cynic when it comes to life. She just has this underlying understanding that people won't ever see her in the correct lighting or just will dislike her for reasons unknown to her right off the bat. This can come from living around New York and being muslim and from the Middle East, along with the fact that her brother never really liked her and it showed and she never knew why. While she doesn't have an immediate bad faith interpretation of people it does underline everything she does. Before the hallucinations she never let herself get close to Steven Grant even though it was obvious that the two wanted to be in the few interactions they had, as she had a feeling he would just leave seeing there wasn't much to her. By the time she meets Marc she doesn't see him as trustworthy because something seems off and so keeping him at a distance is safe and boy was there some vindication when she found out about his DID and he knew for a long while that his alters knew her prior. Like to her there is always going to be another shoe dropping its just a matter of when.

Alma is cynical with people and their intentions, an optimist that life will be better, and a realist when it comes to her profession. Alma since she was young was always undercover to a degree and was warned against people she didn't know, as they could discover something they shouldn't and based on what happened with her parents being turned in to the empire of Sanbreque resulting in them being branded and then a life of slavery its understandable. She also just has always had such a small circle of people be close to her that makes it harder to branch out, but if those people trust or say someone is decent then she does the same because she trusts those closest to her to not put her in danger. Alma though has hopes that life will get better, she’s part of the change and since joining more of the outside world so to speak she sees there’s more people than she assumed also working for something better, it is also the only comfort she has because if there is no hope then why live at all? (And she saw a boy who should have and was pretty much dead come back from that trauma and still see good in the world around him) And lastly Alma is a doctor and she knows the dangers of false hope when it comes to promises about badly wounded people, she never promises unless she is absolutely certain she can follow through with it.

Clídna is an optimist overall, she has her hesitations with men but considering the abuse she’s been through it’s not a surprise. But Clídna wants to believe in the best of people, she sees each day as a new beginning, and god does it drive her to keep going. She is so so protective over it too that it is what drives her to be a guardian and fighter.

13. How important are romantic relationships to your OC? Do they prefer casual sex, short flings, or long term relationships? Do they want to get married or are they content with what they have? Or do they have no interest in romance whatsoever?

Sahar never planned on getting married or having a family and this is still true overall. She never put romantic relationships at the top of her priority list so they kind of went to the wayside as she focused on her career. She had a few relationships here and there with at least three of them being long term enough to live with one another (and one of those defacing her couch cushions when she broke up with him), but they didn't work out for various reasons and she was typically the dumper. Marc was a bit of a surprise really and was the one person she moved romantic relationship higher on the priority list, this was also true for Steven Grant back in the day, and she was pretty darn close to asking Jake Lockley out when he was her taxi driver. She's still on the fence on marriage but she was never outright opposed to it, especially when her parents were still alive, she wanted the fanfare of it if it felt right with the right person, but if neither of them wanted it they'd take to being the common law or courthouse married. She doesn't ever want to marry comic Marc but she wants the long term commitment to him, so they'd never make it official but won't correct anyone if they called them wife or husband. MCU Marc she has much more consideration for it but that would be years down the line maybe when they're a bit older and greyer.

Part of Alma's optimism towards the world does involve a better life happening for her in having a marriage, kids, the whole picture. She is a lover at heart and while it wasn't a goal necessary it was something she was on the lookout for in a way. While she fell for Joshua pretty hard, if it didn't work out with him she would have looked to others but all of them would be with the intention on finding a long term relationship, but thankfully the feelings were reciprocated and she holds onto the fantasies of the future with Joshua. It is actually within the story that he does ask her to marry him or commit to him whatever makes her happy when the world is saved, to which she says yes and the two eventually do and have three children. So I would say she's pretty happy with how things are currently between them!

Clídna for a long time wasn't looking for any kind of long term relationship, there was too much danger in it and frankly no time for such things. It wasn't until she and Jill started to fall for one another that she wanted more than casual relationships (though due to circumstances she still maintained the ones she had with the men). However once losing her Clídna goes back to casual and stays that way until she's allowed to have more room to consider if there was more than just a feeling of safety with Clive now that they were in each other's lives again. And it turns out that there was more between them just the survival instinct overrode anything other than safety and physical needs. Clídna's feelings for Jill never waned either and that was who she was holding out for in having a long term relationship with once more when they found one another. While things were a bit awkward in the beginning its not long after Cid's death that the three of them lean on each other more and come to the agreement that there is no point in anyone picking one over the other and just became a three way relationship. Their relationship isn't put out in the open very much because they don't want to have to explain it to everyone but its also obvious and everyone in the Hideaway and their associates know and just don't say anything because what business of it was theirs. Clídna is very much happy with how things are between her and her loves Jill and Clive.

[abidethetempest]

Rise and Fall Ch 2 Retrospective

General Notes

this chapter was originally split into two parts, with chapter 3 starting during the storm in the city, but i decided to combine them bc chapter 2 felt too empty that way. I had the latter half of this chapter in my mind for like 3 years now, it's one of the few scenes that I've had solid pretty much from day one of the current version of this fic.

The Opening

I feel particulary proud of the character details on display during this convo at the start, I feel like you can very clearly see both Risen and Ghost's personalities and thoughts. Also Risen being kind of a brat is always fun to write. She's just a little shit at heart. The traveling parts aren't really at the quality I wanted, I feel like the pacing isn't great. But I eventually had to put my foot down and call it good enough. Writing another 500 words about my OC walking just isn't my forte. The scene I like most out of this entire opening is the caravan scene. It just came out exactly as I wanted. Ghost is a complicated little dude and they have some growing to do, same as Risen. Their jaded worldview is largely a reaction to the state of the world at current and has a deeper basis in their desire to protect and keep Risen alive, but it's expressed more often as a controlling or overcritical temperment. Local Ghost bad at feelings, more at 11.

The Warlord Scene

hello hi this scene is like half the reason i wrote this fic at all. I've been waiting to write this for AGES. and not to stroke my own ego but I think it came out PERFECT. Risen is a caretaker at heart and seeing people hurt those who cannot protect themselves-- especially children-- makes her pissed. Her intervention is also a culmination of the guilt she's carrying from being unable to help others before now. In some way, she's trying to find absolution for her percieved failures in the past by taking action in this moment. It helps that this Warlord is the same one as from the town as well, so this doubles as a chance for justice in her eyes.

The way Risen fights in this scene is meant to show part of her character: Her belief that her purpose is to bleed and die for others. Why else would the Travaler give her the ability to heal and return from death, after all? She couldn't care less that this will likely end in her death, because to her, her life is worth nothing. She dies so someone else can live. I'm so excited to explore this facet of her character more as time goes on and her beliefs are challenged.

Little tangent here: the scene where the Warlord kills her with a burning maul ties into a headcanon of mine, that the first death a Guardian experience post-revival leaves more a mark, both physically and mentally. After this fight, Risen has a massive scar on her chest and doesn't like being close to open sources of flame.

The scene where she defies Ghost and chooses to break away from their rules was a late addition to this scene but I really like it. I think it adds some steel to her character and shows she's willing to stand up for what she believes in, even when it's dangerous or downright suicidal.

The escape feels a tad rushed but it was another case of "fucks sake just move on".

I LOVE the very end with Risen and Ghost's argument. It introduces some of the central ✨themes✨ of the fic that I'm very eager to explore further.

thats all ive got for this chapter! thanks to anyone who read this far, see you next time :D

[planet4546b]

had a thought today. i would like to hear more about mel (and feel free to go off about other characters & relationships) <3

MELL mel mel mel my beloved <33 every character in s/n is a tragic hero in their own right but mel is ESPECIALLY a tragic hero she is so doomed by the narrative and she knows it it’s great.

mels technical role in the group is as a navigator - shes a cartographer, which in a world that changes as regularly as this one does, is an incredibly important (and difficult!) job. she’s been a cartographer (along with emily, they usually travel together) for something like 5 or 6 years, has risen through the cartographers guild (called section 37) pretty quickly and has really made a name for herself - and she loves being well known in this way as much as she loves actually getting out into the world and doing cartography. she sometimes pushes herself into dangerous situations (ESPECIALLY around dangerous quantum anomalies, lol) out of some mix of sheer curiosity, desire to gain acclaim, and some sort of much more inexplicable calling. more than anyone else in the group (sam included!) she's incredibly, incredibly determined to stop the end of the world, and wants to truly help people even if she often goes about it in a sort of odd way. shes also dealing with a truly insane amount of grief, imposter syndrome, decades of beef with the twin sister she spends all her time with, misplaced trust in authority figures, and a hero complex like you would not believe. WHILE bisexual. and also she kind of experiences all of time at the same time (??). im gonna talk more about character relationships under the cut because i simply love parallels and drama

interestingly enough, when you simplify their motivations down as much as possible, mel and sam actually have INCREDIBLY similar motivations (almost the exact same one, actually). this leads to a lot of tension between the two of them - but at the same time, mel has a weird penchant for trusting people she percieves as authority figures - and while sam is only like, a year older than her, sam has the right combination of understanding of the world pre-resonance (which mel is obsessed with), understanding of the coming calamity, and sheer confidence that means that mel puts a LOT of faith in her, basically immediately. when relationships start fracturing later in the story, its mel that feels most betrayed by late-game sam's actions.

mel and emily have an incredibly, incredibly complex relationship, based on years and years and years of sort of compiling issues that no one really deals with. twin sisters yk. they resent each other for a LOT of reasons (from mel's end, a short list of reasons she resents emily would be: she thinks emily hates her, she thinks everyone in the family likes emily better than her, she resents that emily doesn't take cartography as seriously as she does, she's jealous of emily for a handful of reasons, she still feels bad about a childhood accident where emily almost died and it was kind of her fault, and the list goes ON) but while they kind of hate each other, they also have to work together in an incredibly dangerous job and as a result they also trust each other with their lives. also theres this bit of station 11 where one of the characters is writing a letter to an old friend from his hometown and is like 'you and i are the only people with the memories of this place as it was, so im always going to be linked to you' and like. its a very different context but i think of that in the context of these two a lot too. theyre the only two people who could possibly understand each other but also they cant stand each other and im not exaggarating this tension ends up being sort of the single most important part of this story. wooooo. fucked up sibling relationships yay

mel and jackie have a really sort of funny relationships tbh they just hang out. like eventually when jackies past gets revealed mel gets pissed at them but until that its basically just this i frankly dont have much to say about it

also in the interlude/act 2/whatever mel gets a boyfriend named cyrus capila!! im still doing a lot of work on developing cy but this relationship, while pretty short lived, is really important for mels character and im excited about it so i had to mention it <33

[omegawolverine]

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

[transmasc-wizard]

@letters-to-lgbt-kids' 22 Questions for Nonbinary November!

1.Which labels do you use? Transmasculine, nonbinary, genderqueer, nonbinary trans guy, transmasc. (only counting gender labels)

2.What are your pronouns? he/they! No preference.

3.How old were you when you came out to yourself as nonbinary? Uh... idk exactly but it was like a year ago? ish? depends on whether you count the other 3 times i came out to myself lmao.

4.What’s one thing you’d like to tell your younger self? "hey there's actually a Reason you hate being called pretty and avoid mirrors like the plague and really want a flat chest. Wild, right"

5.Is there a myth about nonbinary people that annoys you the most? that we're all unaligned and want to be androgynous. I DO want to be andro, in the sense of being fem and masc at the same time, but others don't. Also, i'm masc-alligned.

6.Is there a nonbinary celebrity you look up to? This might be cheap lol but Demi Lovato, i like their music, so... yeah.

7.If you’re out, how did you come out? I am not ~technically~ out. But my friend knows; i was like "hey i think im transmasc" and she said "ok cool". but i came out to my family and it was. interesting lmao

8.Is there a gender-related pun you like? non-beenary. Also: trans people should handle the money because everything we do is a transaction im so sorry

9.Do you have friends who identify as nonbinary, too? friend-ish people, yeah. Also i have a friend who jokes she's "{name}gender" and says he is ok with literally any pronouns so... we may have an egg here.

10.Do you have a favorite lgbt+ character? Hmmmm Nico Di Angelo is my namesake but i honestly can't pick lmao.

11. Lgbt, lgbt+, lgbtqa+… which one do you usually use? Queer. I have a long, long post explaining why, but i hate being called LGBT unless you also call me queer lmao

12. How do you explain the term “nonbinary” to people who have no idea what it means? "i do not vibe with gender". or, "boy is here, girl is here, no gender is here, and i am here" *points between boy and no gender*. they usually get it

13.Tell us a fun fact about yourself (gender-related or random!) i am absolutely obsessed with books and if you want a book of any genre or type or trope just ask me via asks or anon and i will throw ALL THE RECS at u

14.How did you find your name? I stole it from Nico Di Angelo <3

15.If you’re in a relationship, how did your partner react to your coming-out? I'm a single pringle who doesn't wanna mingle lol, but my FRIENDS were all pretty good (except one. she's a transphobic asshole and i kinda hate her now)

16.Do you prefer partner, datemate, significant other or something else? i mean i've never dated and don't really wanna but my theoretical partner would call me boyfriend or partner in crime. the "in crime" would not be optional and i would not date someone who would object to it

17.A piece of advice for questioning kids? don't treat labels like they own you. E.g. if you ID as straight then really wanna date a boy/girl/ur gender, don't jump thru hoops explaining away that emotion--just use bi or pan or something else that fits. Also, it's ok to change labels!! i did like 20 times before i settled on my labels i've been using for about 8 months now!!

18.Which flag(s) do you use? nonbinary, genderqueer, aroace, bi, trans, transmasculine, asexual, aromantic. Look em up urself, tumblr won't let me post the images

19.Any tips for bad days? read a book. write a story. draw a picture. it doesn't have to be good, just do it. it helps

20.Do you have a favorite nonbinary blog on tumblr? i like @neopronounsmybelovaed, @lgb-positivi-t (not NB specific tho), and @letters-to-lgbt-kids (also not nonbinary specific tho). idk i havent seen a lot of NB blogs--reccomendations are appreciated!

21.Feminine, masculine, androgynous - or none of those things? i would like to be all of them at once but also femme but also manly masc boy but also 'my gender is gay and my sexuality is nonbinary' but also do not percieve me but ALSO-- (u get the idea)

22. What are your three favorite things about yourself? ah fuck uh. i like my writing. I like my ability to usually find good friends. i like how i will literally consume All The Information related to the things i like (in other words, talk to me about the raven cycle or writing pls).

[violetren]

My first theory for volume 9 while the second half of volume 8 is fresh in my mind!

Volume 9 is gonna be the therapy season, but in the most traumatic you'll need different therapy afterwards kind of way. Instead of paying a therapist they're all just be bargaining with the universe like "yo I've had this trauma for a while, and I'm feeling pretty done with it. Here you take it back and uhhh I'll take a new guilt complex. Maybe a fear of falling? IDK, fuck me up bro."

The foreshadow-y Alice in Wonderland-esque fairy tale Oscar told to himself/Oz while in captivity is my guide post here.

Aaaand this is gonna get long so! 10 ideas of shit that's gonna go down next volume beneath the readmore, each one about 1-2 paragraphs each.

In the fairy tale the girl runs away from her problems into a new land, but because she never learned from her problems they just followed after her. Yeah? So first--second? First discounting the volume therapy theme theory.

FIRST BIG THEORY: The girl from the fairy tale was real, and she used the Spear of Creation. And like Weiss and the crew, she was fucking smart about her wording. She offered up materials that'd last even after someone else inevitably used the staff. IDK what materials she woulda used. Maybe there's a story about a missing continent we just haven't heard of yet? Maybe the Brother of Light's pool, since Salem seens to have claimed the Brother of Darkness's one but no sign of BoL's these days. Maybe there is a reason the land beyond Menagerie is so uninhabitable beyond desert + grimm? idk. Point is, it's a thing that happened, and since Ambrosius can't destroy/directly kill she's still in her wonderland. For themes sake I'm gonna call her Alice from here on out.

So Alice made a pocket dimension to flee from her problems from.

SECOND BIG THEORY: Her problems were relic related. She needed to hide em, and hide herself from Salem. Tbh I'm not sure how into this one I am. Maybe she had other shit going and some version of Oz was like "hey you don't want to be here, I have some property that I don't want to be here, lets make this happen!" THE POINT IS, the little pocket realities the relics are in, are aalllllll places in her pocket reality. When the team said "hey Ambrosius just make the middle ground into one of these type places" that's what he did, cause that's how he do. What better way to make sure it works like those places than to be kinda connected to em?

THIRD BIG THEORY: Ambrosius was buds with Alice once upon a time, but knew staying in her pocket world ultimately drove her crazy. He knew his middle ground worked like the pocket dimensions because it touched em or something, so he gave a vague ass warning not to fall, because he knew where they'd fall to.

Back to the fairy tale. It's implied Alice was never able to leave/give up her wonderland because she never learned from her mistakes.

FOURTH BIG THEORY VERSION 1: RWBY + Jaune can't figure their way back to reality until they adress a major personal issue and break out of whatever cycle it's got them in. This one I feel is shaky because they all have such different issues and are in very different places with each of them, trying to do one big arc on em would be too much of a mess. Plus it doesn't account for saving any of the many civilians that may have survived the fall.

FOURTH BIG THEORY VERSION 2: nobody can leave until Alice either leaves, dies, OR is convinced to let them go. As we're following good kind people this means we watch the kids try to give someone else therapy that THEY need. RWBY+J work through their shit through variations & combinations of witnessing mirrors of their struggles in Alice/other wonderland inhabitants, and just having time and space to slow down and breathe whether they want it or not.

FIFTH BIG THEORY: Alice is the "antagonist" of the underworld because she is the obstacle to overcome.

What about Neo you may be asking. Well I want her to let go of the revenge schtick, or at least redirect it back onto Cinder thus calling a truce with Ruby. However it's more than likely she's gonna be on team keep Alice as an obstacle at least as long as it takes to kill Ruby, and so Neo will be the "real" Antagonist™ within wonderland.

SIXTH BIG THEORY: Neo because of her unwavering determination to enact revenge is gonna die this volume. She'll be the comparison against which RWBY+J will be measured. As they grow and get closer to leaving she'll become more wrapped up with whatever strange classic wonderland logic this pocket universe has. Potentially depending on how things go with helping Alice, Neo may just end up trading spots with her, and end up trapped while everyone else goes back. But dead or trapped, I have a sad feeling this could be our last volume with Neo. My only hope of her surviving at this point is that she like Emerald switches sides, and in doing so joins Winter as a Cinder foil. While Neo grows and lets go of revenge and thus survives, Cinder stays dedicated to her own desires for revenge and other self serving instincts ringing her own death toll for either the end of the volume, or maybe somewhere in vol.10.

SEVENTH BIG THEORY: Ruby is gonna be grieving and maybe even getting full on angry about being expected to fix everything just because she's the optimistic one. She shouldn't have to deal with this brand and advanced level of childhood stealing just because she wanted to do what was right and won(lost) a genetic lottery for magic powers type anger. Jaune is going to have SO MUCH GUILT to work through, mostly the survivors kind. The bees will be experiencing couples therapy, they've both been pretty solid about individual growth leading up to this, Underworld will be them learning what it means to them to be partners now that they are so different to who they were. Weiss is different. Weiss is at first gonna feel like she's there just because it was a way to really shove all the other Schnee's into their therapy arcs and gave RBY+J neutral presence to rely on. Weiss is gonna go in the most stable of the bunch. But then, slow boil style, she'll start to realise how fucked up basically her whole life has been, especially upon realising that her "good years" with her new family have been spent getting sucked into being the last line of defense against the apocalypse, but will be too busy helping the others, so at the end of the volume when everyone else is actually doing pretty good and refreshed for the fight against Salem she'll only just be beginning her breakdown.

EIGHTH BIG THEORY: All this therapy shit is gonna be mirrored back on Remnant by the others grieving the percieved loss of the hearts of the team. Both sides of these story are gonna deal with some heavy shit, but the Remnant side is gonna be the depressed side, at least as long as it takes for Oz to tell them maybe the other's aren't dead leading to desperate attempts to get the staff OR the make desperate attempts to get the relics back anyways and inadvertently find out from Ambrosius what is up. But anyways. Winter is gonna be dealing with survivors guilt and the loss of both her little sisters (friends are great but Penny was little sister zoned and it's a hill I am prepared to die on. good sisterly relationships are friendships too). Nora is gonna be doing her self discovery thing. Ren is gonna be building on his end of vol.8 developments. Oscar will continue his grappling with the merge stuff. Qrow and Willow might get forced into AA. Whitely is gonna learn his own definition of being a Schnee instead of what his dad taught him.

NINTH BIG THEORY (OR FOURTH VERSION 3): The other way they get out is QORN obtain and use the staff to bring them home, potentially by trading enemy lives for them.

BONUS CONSPIRACY THEORY: QORN if presented with needing to trade for their loved ones & lost civilians have a lightbulb moment and decide hey why not trap Salem in a pocket universe since that is a thing Ambrosius can make? Like, if this bitch hasn't budged on her not learning to appreaciate life and humanity or whatever (which I'n pretty sure is the other way to break her curse instead of stopping remnant from turning) then she's a prime candidate for shoving into a personal reality that you can only escape if you can face your problems long enough to break the cycle they have you in. It'd be really fucked up but I think it might actually be possible to run the place using her as her own material component. Like kill her over and over and redistribute the energy to make the pocket world, but because god given power + Ambrosius can't actually destroy she just reforms anyways. MIght take a few hundred thousand deaths but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Or use the BoD oasis/grimm pools to make a world that mirrored the one she chose to live in on Remnant really make it hard for her to break that cycle....

Anyways.

TENTH BIG THEORY: Working on the idea that the relics are actually hidden in secret protected pockets of the underworld RWBY+J are gonna have a secondary quest of trying to get the relics from this side, and either finding a new place to hide them ages away from their vault doors. If you wanna make it a FOURTH VERSION 4, they're specifically gonna seek out the sword of destruction (HOLY VORPAL BLADE ALLUSIONS BATMAN) either with the intent of cutting their way out underworld--ahem wonderland--or with the assumption that someone is inevitably gonna have to open the vault door, because that's just how things be these days and they'll be able to cross to Vacuo from there.

[minecraftsz]

transcripts of my jack manifold character notes from his stream today below the cut :) (slightly edited for clarity, denoted by curly brackets) please rb if u find this useful <3 :D

Jack’s Lore Discussion (page 1)

Joins after first L’Manwar

Begins w/ ambiguous allyship

Paid to kill Tommy, burn his stuff by Dream

[Original plan (never came to be)

Double agent - has true loyalties, but it’s unknown]

(time skip - 2 month streaming break, allied with l’manburg {during this, left the day of schlatt’s election})

Returns w/ no knowledge of goings-on

Goes off on his own - abandoned by L’manburg/Pogtopia/Manberg

page 2

Abandons everyone to found Manifoldland (ML) after Schlatt’s death - no longer trusts his friends

Vows to run ML better than Schlatt {ran Manberg}

{creates} “be better” sign {with part of Schlatt’s portrait}

Pre-Exile

Manidolf wants to ally w/ Tubbo {+L’Manberg} after Dream attacks ML

{damage} not on purpose - product of Dream-Tommy feud

{”be better” sign is turned into “be worse” sign after ML’s vandalization}

Jealous of Tommy - feels like a side character in his own story

over time turns to malice

page 3

Wanted to play the *first* sympathetic villain of DSMP

then acknowledges wil lol {in reference to cc jack being reminded that wil did it first - cc wasn’t paying attention during 2 month break lol}

Tubbo refuses to ally (:c)

{in conversation} reveals Tommy is why Dream burned ML

{now Jack} knows that if Tommy fucks up 1 more time he’ll be exiled

{jack} frames Dream {in pranks} to get Tommy to lash back + get exiled & out of the way

(wanted to be a Doofenschmirtz)

Main goal: revenge on Dream (+Tommy) thru silly plans

page 4

*didn’t know how bad exile would be {(in reference to Jack wanting to get Tommy exiled}

Forgives Tommy during exile

Goes to visit + loses all his shit b/c Tommy kills him >:(

>Jack hates Tommy

Needs allies

Badlands

L’manburg, etc

Goes to L’Manburg festival

holy shit theyre blowing shit up !

>Protect Tubbo motivation

(preexisting - comes into play now)

{basically, b/c tubbo had always been nice to jack jack never disliked him and wants to keep him safe - this motivation continues through his later actions}

realizes it all boils down to Tommy and Dream

>Tommy is a villain

>has to ally w/ Tommy to kill Dream

page 5

Bench w/ everyone (inclu. Tommy) {post-total destruction while everyone’s mourning}

{retcons motivations:} starts to be sympathetic to L’Manburg - doesn’t stick

Loses final canon life to Techno

fights him b/c L’Manberg was just destroyed {- unclear if just due to high emotions or b/c of grief / anger over destruction}

FALLS INTO HELL (the void)

(happy accident! canonizes death) {before the lag glitch he hadn’t been planning to make the techno death canon}

realizes all his deaths were from Tommy + Dream

claws his way back out out of spite and anger

{the only reason he’s alive is to get revenge on tommy - not only were the deaths unfair but he was betrayed}

*didn’t fully die - hanging on by a thread* {retconned as a way to explain why dream could say that nobody had ever been revived before}

page 6

Jack + Niki team up to go after Tommy

Gets invited to Snowchester, tries and fails to nuke Tommy

{the vod goes a little out-of-order now}

Jack is maybe redeemable now?

{on Jack’s reasoning for using a nuke to kill Tommy}

Doesn’t want to hurt Tubbo

Thinks Tommy has manipulated Tubbo into becoming his sidekick

Believes {that while it might hurt him,} it’s in Tubbos’ best interest to die

> an accident {would be the least painful way (for Tubbo) to do this}

Promises to return to ML - still thinks it holds meaning for him

Tommy invites Jack to Biginnit Hotel

{Tommy is put in prison}

page 7

“I’m going to take and take and take” {while explaining why Jack took the Biginnit}

JM finally deserves to have something

nobody else deserves what they have

takes the BigInnit hotel

“fill the void with capitalism” lol {jack compensating for how empty + angry he feels after tommy’s (percieved?) betrayal}

plans to keep Tommy in prison

{this} reveals he might not {have} actually want{ed} Tommy dead

[Spire is not from unjust death, it’s motivated by {feelings of} betrayal] {he emphasized this point a LOT}

JM is lonely and upset and betrayed

TOMMY DIES:

celebration -> grief + realization

(plus anger at Dream {for taking revenge away from him}

page 8

thunder1408 -> Jack Manifold

{coincides with and is} representative of development :’) {someone in chat mentioned this, it wasn’t intended but he thought it was cool}

Came back for revenge - never got it

No more goals (hotel doesn’t count {- he calls it vapid, refers to it like it’s mostly just a distraction)

Misses Tommy, being friends, everything. {his death is} bittersweet.

[Tommy can’t hurt JM anymore,

this is best for the server,

(power trip - “i will save the server”)

but JM still misses him.]

extra page

Tommy doesn’t even know he’s hurt Jack {or given him a canon death either, most likely}

“Jack - no, no one’s hurt you, Jack” {(quote from Tommy during Dream’s capture)}

{there was more info and insight given after his main Lore Explanation during his dono Q&A but i didnt catch it bc i had to walk my dog lol)

that concludes the transcript hope this helped someone ehe :)

[futurewriter2000]

Bookshelf

A/N: Had this in my drafts for a long while. I don’t know what it is exctly but I do kind of like it. Yeah... 

PAIRING: Harry Potter x Muggle!reader 

XX

Harry would always think that the Wizarding world was better than the Muggle one. He would think of so many reasons to think wizards, witches and magic was the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

“Muggles are so odd- like he is pouring himself. You just swish a wand and lay back. Let it pour itself.” Ron kept staring at the old man in the coffee shop, whose hand was shaking agressively due to age or some disesase or pure alcoholism. He tried many times to put sugar in his tea with a spoon but each time, it fell right back into the sugar cup. He started cursing himself, grabbing the sugar with his fingers and throwing it into his tea until it made a splash, pouring some of the tea on the table.

Ron kept smiling at the old man’s unfortune meanwhile Harry only rushed forward without a glance at the old man. He wanted this to be over. Fast and efficiant.  “Muggles don’t know about magic.” he chuckled, turning the corner and up the stairs. 

“Some do.”

“Most of them don’t.” he stopped, grabbing the doorknob and grinning. “If they knew, they wouldn’t want to be Muggles anymore.” he smiled and swung the door open, walking into the library. 

“Bet.” Ron stood behind before chuckling and running after him. “Reckon they’d think we have long noses, witch hats and brooms to fly on, which we do but still.” he continued to talk, hearing Harry laugh as he shuffled through the books. 

“Just go and find the dumb book. It has to be among the G’s.” his finger traced among the book spines. He heard Ron’s footsteps distancing themselves from him and that gave him plenty of time to focus his eyes on the book titles. His eyes did not remove themselves from the thick, thin, black, grey, green, blue, wrinkled, ironed, smooth and harsh book covers until he went to the far edge of the bookshelf, bumping his hand into a wall. He slightly moved his hand at it, shaking it and noticing something catching his eyes on the other side of the shelf. 

It was only a flicker, a glance, not even a full, long look and he knew. 

He stopped and stared through the gap between the shelves. 

There you were. Your nose was stuck in a book, your fingers quickly turning the pages as your mouth mumbled something incoherently. If he focused on it, he could hear exactly what you were hearing. 

“Come on. Come on. It’s not like I haven’t analyzed you a hundred times. It has to be Cortazar- except.” you closed the book with a thud and stared at the distance, turning back to the bookshelves, letter C. “Except, except, except...” your hand touched the shelf and your eyes scanned every single book from right to left. “Conti?” you pulled out a book and started shuffling through it. 

Harry only smiled.

He could remember you from your primary school when he was still going to the Muggle school. The two of you were classmates from year 3 to year 6 before he went to Hogwarts. 

You were always nice to him, always found something to talk about but never much a friend. He was a classmate and only a classmate and you were just the same to him, except when you were the only girl who didn’t listen to Dudley and actually treated him, Harry, as a normal boy. 

You always had good grades. Sometimes with a comment, snarky or smart, either way you reminded him of Hermione. 

You’ve grown up. 

He’s grown up. 

He’s an Auror for 2 years already since the whole battle and Voldemort. What are you? 

“Oi, Harry! I couldnt’ find it but it was worth a try-” Ron came back with a book in his hand, perplexed when he could see Harry panic. “What? What is it?” he tried to pull out a wand and by now you were already looking for the source, finding yourself watching two men waving their hands at each other. One whispering, one speaking quite loudly. 

“Ron! Shut up!” Harry whisper-yelled. 

“Why?” he tried pulling out the wand but Harry grabbed his hand and shoved it back. “Harry- mate? What’s got your knickers in a twist?” Ron kept getting more confused by the minute as Harry was desperately trying to not be seen or heard by you. 

“There’s someone from primary school I know.” Harry stood straight, galring at his best friend. 

“You went to primary-” 

“Ron!” he shoved his shoulder to be quiet but it was too late. 

“Harry?” you asked, walking on the other side of the shelf you two shared and finding him looking at you. “Harry Potter?” you smiled, trying to figure out whether it was really him or not.

Though that was never a discussion. He still wore an oversized T-shirt, only that this one was a bit more his size and covered in leather jacket. His eyes were still as green as emerald, almond shaped and hiding behind his round glasses. They used to be broken- he had a ducktape on the bridge. You remembered becuase you were the one to do it after Dudley broke them. His hair were sticking up in all directions and his awkward grin was still so known by him. 

Ron stepped next to Harry, glancing between the two of you as he tried to figure out what is happening. 

“(y/n). Hi- hey.” he raised his hand but quickly put it down due to the awkwardness in the air.

“Wow- it really is you.” you beamed, leaning on the shelf and crossing your arms over your chest. “You’ve completely gone awol after 6th year. Dudley said you went to boot camp but you don’t look like a soldier to me.” 

Harry tried to think fast but all he could do was chuckle nervously. 

“Trust me, he did his fair share of fighting.” Ron interwined, reaching out his hand and offering you a big, kind smile.  “I’m Ron Weasley by the way. I went to boot camp with this twat. Thought him everything I know.” he started to joke and you laughed. 

“Nice to meet you, Ron. I’m (y/n)(y/l/n). Harry was my classmate in primary school.” 

“Is that so?” Ron smirked, mischief in his eyes, something Harry would usually find in Fred’s and George’s identical eyes. The twinkle in Ron’s seemed to match perfectly with the twins’. “Huh?” 

“Yes, that’s so.” you started to get a bit suspicious. “So, how are you Harry?” you started to talk, the curiousity getting the better of you. 

You haven’t seen this boy in ten years and suddenly he reappears out of thin air. He was shy but always nice to you. Quite a short temper but threw quite a punch as well. 

“I’m good. Great even.” Harry started to speak, his hand running up and down the back of his neck. “You?”

“University.” you lifted up the book. 

“I always wondered about that-” Ron started to speak but Harry only elbowed him in the ribs and sent him a glare. 

“Why don’t you search under the Z letter, Ron?” he grumbled out of him.

“But we don’t even-” he stopped after figuring it out not so fast enough. “Oh- yeah. Zetinski.” he nodded and left the space, causing you to laugh. 

“Zetinski?” you took a step forward and Harry only laughed.

“Haven’t heard?”

“No, I haven’t.” 

“Well, Zetinski is quite famous for...”

“For?” you quirked an eyebrow but he kept his cool smooth and calm. 

“Writing some physchological novels. Experimental psychology. Like Zola.”

You couldn’t help yourself to smile. “You know of Zola?” 

“I know a lot of things.” he was the one to cross his arms over his chest, digging his hands under his biceps and tugging the leather into nice defined arms. “So how about you? University?” 

“Yes. I want to be a literature teacher.” you smiled, getting a closer look at the tall boy who once used to be smaller than you. 

It almost made you giggle at how the time stops and goes, sways and bends. It was as if you’ve known this boy back in primary school and 10 years passed, you would think it would be like talking to a stranger. He looked like a stranger but his eyes were so familiar. It felt like you’ve known him for a long time, mostly since you knew whose his family was. He told you his parents had died in a car accident and he was living with his aunt and uncle, Dudley unfortunately as well. It sort of gave you some sort of understanding but also a surprise that he had not gone barmy or rebellious in his teenage years.

He appeared to look like someone who’s gone through a lot but still kept to his morals. He was still the nice boy you remember. 

“A literature teacher?” he took a deep breath, marveling at your answer. “What does that do exactly? Force kids to read books?” he started to tease, leaning a bit forward.

“No.” you shoved him back playfully. “We analyze certain books and try to find a deeper understanding. It’s not just about reading books. It’s about finding your understanding in the things other people don’t. Sometimes it holds a message. Sometimes a poem isn’t just a confession of emotions. Sometimes the structure and the figures, the rythm and other literature techniques that helps you understand more of what the writer wrote.” you realized you had been trying to explain something you could barely understand yourself but it was love for you. You loved literature and love was hard to explain. So you put it shortly: “It’s not about reading. It’s a bout individual understanding, thinking and percieving. It’s hard to explain.” 

He could see your eyes getting a bit frustrated for trying to prove him that what you’re doing isn’t useless. And he knew it wasn’t. You got the same sparkle in your eyes as Hermione did when she talked about Elf rights. It was adorable.

“I know.” he chuckled. “You were always such a Ravenclaw. Watching the teacher and making your notes like your life depended on it.”

“Ravenclaw?” you furrowed your eyebrows. 

Oh shit.

“Uhm...it’s a phraze from boot camp.” he tried to brush it off.

“Stop pulling by the nose, Harry. We all know you haven’t gone to boot camp at an age of 11.” 

“You don’t know that.” he started to tease again, something he was quite mastering but didn’t realize he was. 

It set you a bit on the edge, but the good kind. 

“So what are YOU doing in the library?”

“Looking for a book to read?” he shrugged but you only narrowed your eyes at him as he chuckled once again. 

How could a boy so shy once upon a time be so darn attractive when he chuckles. 

“I’m just looking for an information.” 

“Anything I can help you with. I know this library like the back of my hand.” you offered but he only let out a chuckle and started to pass you by. Before he did, he stopped next to, looking down with his green eyes and finding you looking up at his. Seemengly, your facial structure, your eyes and your whole-self evolved quite beautifully in a strong, intelligent woman- someone that would make his nerves burn as it did right now. 

A boy he was, he would only pass you by and let it go awkwardly but he was the Chosen One. He killed Voldemort. So why shouldn’t he take a risk with you?

He didn’t pass you at all. He put his hand on the shelf above your head and leaned forward, his muscles flexing a bit. 

You felt your breath catch up in your throat, your heart racing along with the miliseconds that passed. You couldn’t feel enough strenght in your voice to speak, not when his sharp cologne went up your nostrils and into your brain, fuzzying your mind.

“How about over coffee?” he spoke low and seductively, leaning a bit forward as you continued to look up at him and his long hair falling on his forehead. 

Your hands had gotten clammy, your books too heavy to carry in your hand and your knees were a moment away from giving up. You smiled shyly, nodding. “I’d- I’d love that.” you seemed to stutter, feeling feverish from all the sexual tension between the two of you. 

His belt clawed his hips so perfectly. The way his dark jeans hugged his thights, his jacket giving you a glipse of his muscled hips as his T-shirt rose up with it. When Harry put his hand off the shelf, the T-shirt fell back down and covered it. Harry took your hand in his and kissed the back of it. “I’ll call you then.” he said putting your hand back down and backing away. As he was further away, he called out for Ron and they both left. 

They left and you were stuck standing there with reddened cheeks yet it felt as if his presence, his energy and his eyes were still lingering on you. It felt like magic.